Hottest State, The (2006) Movie Script

[Music plays]
Here's how the story was told to me.
I always say
I got things wrong
I waited here
a little too long
[Low conversation]
Hey, hey. What y'all doing?
Say Jesse, how 'bout you talk
Danielle out of being mad at me?
And both of y'all hop in the car
with me and Vince here.
And we can all take
a spin into Dallas?
We got school tomorrow, stupid.
Oh come on, Jesse.
We'll be back before anybody
gets in any real trouble.
Y'all know Vince?
This here is Vince Hardin.
Vince this is Jesse
and that one's Dan.
Dan's a little mad
at me right now.
I'm not mad at you,
John Jaegerman.
I'm just bored with you.
Jesse will you tell Dan
that she's the only girl
I'll ever love.
Jesse will you tell John
to please think about that
the next time
he decides to steal a car?
They didn't even press any charges.
They knew I was just
goofing around.
What about you,
Mr. Vince?
Do you talk?
I know a joke.
Well let's hear it.
There's these two monks, alright?
There's like
a regular monk guy.
My mother didn't need to hear the joke.
She was already
dead bull's eye in love.
She listened to the sound
of his voice,
thinking what a good father
he'd make.
And the guy says
"Well, I'm not into fish
but I sure am going to love
working with you fuckin' guys.
Come on, Dan,
let's go to Dallas.
Now I'm stuck here -
looking by
Where I lost a friend
It's a nice car.
It's just a 'Cuda.
Oh, I have lost my head
Way back
when the world was young
Long before
this song was sung
Three weeks later,
I was conceived
in the back of that Plymouth.
I was thinkin' a lot
about that story.
I wondered if sex
was easier in Texas
than it was in New York.
[Plucking at guitar]
I wondered how my father
a talked to my mother.
I wondered how
other men in general
behaved when they were
alone with women.
No matter
how long it takes
One day
the dam will break
One day
the tears will fall
Just by the waterfall
[Guitar music]
"My heart is gold,
what will you give me for it?"
[Guitar music]
No matter
how long it takes
[Background conversation]
Sarah doesn't think men
have vaginas.
Yeah, well,
I agree with her.
I said, I don't have a vagina.
Yeah, you do.
Hi, I'm William.
I'm an actor.
So I'm totally full of shit.
Don't believe a word I say.
I just figured I should
tell you that right off the bat
so you don't
get disappointed later.
Have you ever seen
'Star Trek'?
The original one?
Well, I'm kind of like
Spock in that episode
where he tells the replicants
that everything he says is a lie.
And they go, "If everything
you say is a lie,
then you're lying now,
which means you're telling the truth,
which means you're lying. "
And then smoke
comes out of their ears.
and they malfunction,
and he gets to escape.
See, you just
seem a little stiff to me,
and I'm trying to make sure
you're not a replicant.
Do you speak English?
Good. I was worried you
didn't understand a word I said.
Don't worry;
you're not that complicated.
- What?
- You're not that complicated.
Are you nervous?
No, I'm not nervous.
Why would I be nervous?
Okay, I'm nervous all the time.
I don't know why.
Me too.
One day,
the dam will break.
So, you're really an actor?
I've got an audition for the movie
version of Camino Real tomorrow.
You ever read that play?
- Tennessee Williams.
- No.
Me neither.
My lines are good, though.
I read them.
Well, don't you have to read
the whole play?
Yeah, I guess I should, huh.
I tried. It's just really weird.
It's about a bunch of people
unhappy 'cause they're not sure
if they're living
or they're dead.
Why do you
want to be an actor?
I don't, really.
It's the only thing
I've ever really been good at.
I want to be
a singer.
Oh yeah?
You going to be a star?
I want to be a musician.
Okay, that's cool.
I don't want to be famous,
you know.
I like to sing.
I want to do what I love.
Are you any good?
It's not important.
Are you any good?
- I'm great.
- Oh yeah?
I'm tellin' you, there's
nothin' I can do about it.
I'm just great.
Okay, well,
do something for me.
"My heart is gold,
what will you give me for it?"
What's that?
I'm just whoever
I pretend to be.
You ever feel like that,
like all you are
is the person you were pretending
to be in high school?
Don't worry,
you are somebody.
If you'd stop pretending,
it'll come out all by itself.
Do you want to get married?
I don't want to be an actor.
It's a little disappointing
when your best quality
is pretending
to be someone else.
I want to be somebody
specific, you know.
I was born in Texas.
But I left there
when I was eight.
Sometimes, I think,
if I had just stayed,
I could be a regular person,
you know.
Billy, the lumber guy,
or whatever.
Instead of running around
with my head cut off.
Why'd you leave Texas?
My mom had wanderlust.
What about your dad?
I don't really know him.
Don't smoke that.
Why not?
Because I'm thinking
about kissing you.
Okay, good to know.
It's good to know.
Sarah: So you're going to be
a big movie star, huh?
Yeah, it's my destiny.
Oh God, you're unbelievable.
I try to be.
Born yesterday,
but I stayed up all night.
This is my door.
You live here?
Oh shit! Really?
That's my window.
My window looks out
on your front door.
Well -
I just got to New York City
I'm staying
with a friend.
Come here;
come here, come here.
Do me a favor,
stand right here.
- Why?
- Right there, just like that.
That's good,
one second.
I feel weird.
What am I doing here?
[Music plays]
Looking out at what was now her door,
I had the profound feeling
that my life had changed.
And I was right
not in the way I thought.
I hadn't met the woman
I was to grow gray with.
I was twenty years old
and, by the time
I was twenty-one
I'd be heartbroken.
[Music plays]
William: Nice to see you.
What's your name again?
You don't
remember my name?
I'm kidding.
Oh my God,
did I do that?
Are you mad?
Do you do
that all the time?
Do what?
Kiss girls?
Dave: Hey Sarah, we'll start
in about ten minutes, alright?
Is she okay?
I think southing's wrong
with her microphone.
I'll get it.
Hey Sarah -
that dude said he'd take care
of the microphone business.
- What?
- Come here.
I'm behaving ridiculously.
Yeah, you are.
I'm sorry about the hickey thing.
It' A. O. K.
You should go now.
Okay. Good luck.
Just pretend you're someone else.
Think of your favorite singer,
and just start out
by pretending to be her.
The rest'll come easy,
and it'll secretly be you.
Can I borrow
your jacket?
Come on buddy, take off your jacket.
Come on it's hot
as hell in here, man.
Come on buddy
take off your jacket.
Now listen to me, William,
your mother and
you are moving away -
and I can't come after you.
I can't -
because I can't.
You know I'm going to try
to get some money together -
and visit you
as much as I can,
but it won't be
as often as I want, alright.
But it's killing me, alright?
I mean, it's -
it's really killing me.
And I want you
to remember one thing.
Can you hear me?
Just remember one thing.
I am not the one -
leaving Texas, alright.
Will you remember that?
Come on,
take off your jacket.
[Music plays]
when we meet up yonder
We'll stroll
hand in hand again
In the land
that knows no parting
Blue eyes crying
in the rain
That's my jacket.
William: You know what I'm going
to do? I'm going to buy a car -
an old silver one
with a big dashboard -
and drive you down
to Nashville.
Take you
to the Grand Ole Orpy.
Make you a big
motherfucking star.
Can I sing
Johnny Cash?
Are you kidding?
Why don't you
move in with me?
I came to New York
to be on my own.
I'll move out.
I found my own place.
But I'll stay with you until
my lease starts, if you want.
I want.
Yeah, that'd be good.
But I won't
have sex with you.
Why not?
Because I have a scar
right here.
That's okay.
I got lots of scars.
Okay - then I'll sleep over.
But you won't have sex with me?
Sarah: I'll have sex with you
when I have my own apartment.
So it's kind of like an audition?
I hope I get a callback.
It was Wednesday
when we met,
Saturday when I asked her
to move in -
and by Sunday there were
flowers in my apartment -
and humus
in my refrigerator.
I don't remember
waking up that Sunday.
I don't think I ever slept.
I just sat there
thinking -
Goddamn, this must
be what praying is like.
[Strumming guitar]
[Song in Spanish]
All right, ma'am,
where would you like this?
- You really got that part?
- I really did.
You're really
going to be in a movie.
- Yeah.
- That's awesome.
We leave for Mexico
in a month.
That's where
we're shootin' it.
Oh cool!
Mexico - sounds like fun.
You know what we should do?
We should paint.
Aren't you sleepy?
No, I think
we should paint.
[Song in Spanish]
Well, what
do you want to do?
You know
what I want to do.
But painting's okay.
[Song in Spanish]
What's your shirt say?
I love to fuck.
[Song in Spanish]
Does that
make you feel tough?
It does.
Well, you better get
serious about your painting -
because we're not going
to go to bed tonight
'til this whole apartment
is blue.
Sarah: You're the type of boy who
gets girls pregnant. Do you know that?
Yeah, my mother used to
say that all the time.
You should think of me as very fragile.
I just didn't want to
be feeling this way right now.
How do you feel?
Don't play dumb.
I'm here to be on my own.
I'll probably just run away
and leave you crushed.
No, you can't hurt me.
That's the problem.
You just got to stick around
and hear the jokes.
Oh brother!
[Music plays]
[Song in Spanish]
Do you know how dumb I feel?
What do you mean?
When you're thinking about sex
like twenty-four hour a day-
it significantly deteriorates
your intelligence.
You know what?
We should have done it
that first night.
That first night we kissed,
I wanted to sleep with you.
You're just giving me
too much time to think.
I didn't think it was
going to be a one-shot deal.
Oh, come on.
When's it going to get ugly?
When's it going to get abusive?
I don't know,
but it always does.
What kind of shit
do you think we'll say
about each other
after we break up?
"Frigid bitch. "
"All he thinks about
is himself. "
"She's really
still just a child. "
"He doesn't ever listen. "
"Oh, she's completely
without talent. "
"Oh, he calls himself
an actor? What a phoney. "
Isn't it strange
that'll happen?
I'll come in here
one night -
"Listen, we got to talk. "
"What is it?"
"It's just I've been
thinking and -"
"And what?"
"I just need
a little space is all. "
"Space for what?"
"Look, don't make this
any harder than it is.
I don't make you happy,
you don't make me happy. "
"Yes, yes, you do.
We can work this out, I love you.
You're seeing
someone else. "
"No! Don't say that.
- "Who is it?"
- "It doesn't matter. "
- "Who is it?"
- "It doesn't matter. "
- "Who is it?"
- "See, I can't even talk to you. "
"I always knew
you didn't care about me.
You just needed
someone to talk at.
I could have been any girl. "
"Now, don't go feeling
sorry for yourself.
The point is,
it's over. It was fun,
but I'm just not
boyfriend material, you know?"
I think we have to stop now
because -
Oh my God,
I'm so stupid.
I'm so stupid.
I can't do this with you.
- We were joking.
- I can't do that.
I don't what a boyfriend
right now.
Don't start having some self-fulfilling
prophesy that I'm going to hurt you.
I promised myself
I wasn't going to do this.
Listen, if you could be
inside my body
when I see you,
or touch you -
or think that I might see you,
or touch you -
you would stop crying
and slap me -
because I'm either
crazy about you,
or, I'm going crazy.
You are crazy.
- Oh yeah?
- Yeah.
Well, if you don't say, "I'm going
to get over my stupid hang-ups -
and fall desperately
in love"-
I'm going to
jump off this bed.
I'm not going to say that.
Say it!
I don't have
any stupid hang-ups.
Oh, you better say it!
You know what?
Just - just stop.
Are you okay?
Say you're falling
desperately in love with me,
and I'll come back to life.
What do you even
mean by love?
I'm dying.
You're not dying.
Say you desperately
want to kiss me passionately,
and I'll come back to life.
I desperately want to
kiss you passionately.
A tragedy
narrowly averted.
Come here.
I knew what was happening
and it was nice
but it wasn't
what I wanted.
Yo Kilroy, you big boxing bastard,
get over here.
I remember wining that.
Spring of '79.
I wasn't born yet.
Look, I'm not saying you look bad.
I'm just saying -
I wish you were
wearing a dress.
I personally find you
more attractive - in a dress.
I'm not saying that to be mean,
but you asked.
And yes, I wish
you were in a dress.
I felt like wearing jeans tonight.
So wear jeans.
Kim: Do you want me
to go home and change?
Would I prefer that - yes.
You are such a shit.
I can't believe
you're friends with him.
Hey man,
you went out with her first.
- This is Sarah.
- Hey, good to meet you.
Don't judge me
too quickly.
My mother killed herself
when I was twelve,
so I have a lot of issues - with women
that I'm still trying to work out.
But I also have
some positive attributes,
unfortunately, none of which -
will be revealed this evening
because I am
extremely inebriated.
Alright, man.
Did your mother
really kill herself?
She was exactly
like Sylvia Plath -
the publishing contract.
I'm trying
to make you laugh.
Man, I got to
show you something.
Alright, it's alright.
What the hell
are we all doing?
Why is nobody setting
themselves on fire?
I would set myself
on fire - except you know,
I don't think alleged
President George Bush deserves it.
I don't think
he deserves my whole body.
I think he deserves
one singed ball.
[Low conversation]
Male voice:
I was actually there when he died.
Hip chick:
You were there?
Male voice:
Yeah, yeah. I'll never forget it.
Me and my buddy Danny, we had just
come from a baseball game.
We're standing in line
at McDonald's,
a there was this old guy -
like right in line in front of us.
This old man - he was
just crying. Just sobbing.
I looked over to him,
and I said, "You okay, Mister?"
He looked back at me,
with tears, and he was like,
"Didn't you hear?
John Wayne died today. "
- Hip Chick: Yeah?
- John Wayne had died.
It wasn't some numbnut
it was John Wayne!
Well, I'm a vegetarian.
Man: Actually, I was thinking
about being a vegetarian.
- I'm Samantha.
- Hi.
So, are you
William's girlfriend?
I guess. I mean,
we're just friends.
Cool. Were are you from?
Your accent
is just so beguiling.
Thank you.
Did you guys
used to go out?
Oh yeah we did;
but it was ages ago.
We're just friends now.
So what do you do?
I'm in college, I go to Columbia.
- I want to be a singer.
- Nice.
- Yeah!
- Nice, yeah.
But I guess as far as a job,
I'm babysitting.
Oh, that's great;
like a nanny.
- Hi, hello.
- Hey.
What's up?
Good, hi!
How are you?
I'm good - one second!
I'm going to take off.
Dave is playing
I should really go
and see his show.
What, the guy with the teeth?
This could be a job.
That's what
I'm in New York to do.
You don't need me here.
well, I'll go with you.
No, no; you stay here
with your friends,
and do your reading.
- No, I'll go with you.
- No, no, no, no; you stay here.
I'll talk to you tomorrow.
No, no, no!
I'll talk to you
tomorrow, okay? Bye.
[Music plays]
Fine! Fuck off, then.
[Music plays]
But the scarecrow's waiting
Must come back
some day
It must come back
come any
To relieve his pain
I'm sorry.
What are you sorry about?
I didn't like any of that.
Don't tell me to fuck off.
Did you ever hear
the one about the guy
who wanted to tell the girl -
how much he liked her,
but all he did
was stammer and say -
mean things
when he wanted to be funny?
Did you ever hear
the one about the guy
who brought
the girl to a party -
where it seemed like he'd slept
with every other girl there?
Don't kiss me.
Why not?
I don't like to kiss in public.
Well, let's
get out of here then.
I don't want to leave.
Christ, what the fuck
do you want to do?
Is this where
it turns abusive?
[Music plays]
Listen, I don't know
what's happening to me.
I don't want
to tell you to fuck off.
I don't, but since I met you,
I - can't operate
in the world.
All I think about
is if you like me.
And, I know
how lame that sounds.
If you what me
to leave you alone I will.
I really will.
It's just sometimes
you meet somebody -
and you know,
whatever you did before,
nothing could've been
too bad or too wrong -
because it's led you
to this person.
And you feel like
that person.
Are you that person?
Do you want me to go away?
No, you aren't that person,
or, no, you don't want me
to go away?
Why do you like me so much?
Because you're special.
You're so, so special.
You're such a dumb boy.
I know.
Don't worry
any more if I like you.
Come on.
Starts out slowly
Kissin' finally
You don't see her
After a while,
it's all her fantasy
Sleeping in -
I bet this is good for you.
You screw
around too much, anyway.
That's probably half of the reason
you're so crazy about her.
Remember that you're
not a piece of cake to be with.
What's that mean?
Well, you're pretty
skittish, you know.
You just don't come off
as the kind of guy to count on.
Does she get you off
at least?
You know,
take care of business?
A blowjob something?
I don't want
any more blowjobs.
You know, some day, I'm going
to remind you of that comment,
and you're going to be
deeply ashamed.
I have to stop seeing this girl.
Because I can't tell you,
man, I'm scared out of my mind.
My hands are shaking
all the time.
Smart girls are tough.
They're a pain in the ass.
There's a difference
between someone who's smart,
and someone
who doesn't like you.
I will tell you one thing.
there's a difference
between a smart girl -
and a girl who doesn't
like blowjobs.
William: You know, sometimes, I think
that if I could get her to like me -
then everything
I don't like about myself
would just disappear.
She wants me to go out to
Connecticut to visit her mom.
You think I should go?
'Course you're going to go.
What do you mean?
Well, you're crazy
about this girl.
You've got no options.
In a world of trouble
Don't you see
Mrs. Garcia:
Father, we thank thee for this food
and all the many blessings.
Bless them to our use,
and us to thy service.
And make us ever mindful
of the needs of others.
So, Sarah tells me
you're an actor, is that right?
Yeah, I guess.
I hope
you're not too vain.
Mom, you don't know
any actors.
Yes, I do.
I've met a few actors -
and they're all
ludicrously vain.
This is really good food.
Yeah Mom,
it's real good.
Mrs. Garcia:
How's everything in New York?
Everything's great.
It's wonderful.
Sarah has big dreams.
Did she tell you
she wants to be a singer?
I've actually
seen her sing.
But, did you hear her?
Did she tell you
that I worked my whole life
as a secretary -
saving money
for her to go to college?
Did she tell you I was
valedictorian of my high school?
Mrs. Garcia:
But I didn't attend university.
Sarah's father -
didn't deem it important
that either one of us
go to college.
But she loves him.
Don't you, Sarah?
Don't you love your daddy?
Well, I suppose she has
told you all about him, right?
We haven't talked much
about stuff like that.
Excuse me.
She's not much
of a talker, is she?
[Heavy sighs]
Oh, don't get in
a mood now, Sarah; please.
Sarah, I'm
not being bad, am I?
- No.
- No.
I'm just giving
your young gentleman here -
a little information
about us, right?
Putting your daughter
through college all by yourself -
it is something to be
proud of, don't you think?
Yes, ma'am.
I love you.
I love her - right?
She's beautiful -
she's a beautiful girl.
Very beautiful.
You can't trust love.
William -
let me give you
a little piece of sage advice-
true friendship
is all you can trust: you'll see.
Do you know what it is?
I always
believed in being "of use. "
I would ask myself -
"How can I
be of the most use?"
Because William, it is in that way
that God speaks to us.
But Sarah, she doesn't
think about that.
She wants to be special.
Mom, I don't
want to be special.
I like to sing.
The world needs singers,
doesn't it?
- Well -
- No, your mother doesn't.
There you go.
Your mother doesn't need
any singers at all.
And, excuse me, New York
has more than its share.
Mom, you're drunk.
No, I'm not drunk;
I am your mother.
I have many faults,
the worst of which is not
how painfully
I miss my daughter.
But I'll be able
to stand before God,
and I'm a little worried
about you.
[In Spanish]
We'll see, Mom. We'll see.
What about you, William.
Will you be able
to stand before God?
Well, Mrs. Garcia,
to tell you the truth -
it's my opinion
that I have stood before God -
since the moment
I met your daughter.
Oh my! Sarah -
We have a bullshit artist
sitting at the table.
Mrs. Garcia: Honey, I just
don't what you to get hurt again.
Sarah: [In Spanish]
I won't.
Mrs. Garcia:
Well - he looks like David.
[In Spanish]
Oh, he does not.
Mrs. Garcia:
He smells like David.
[In Spanish]
He does not.
Mrs. Garcia: You know,
he smells like something I don't like.
I'm done.
You shut her up.
I'm sorry
about that business.
She only does it
when she drinks.
You're doing great.
- I am?
- Yeah!
Hey, wait.
Who's David?
No one.
He's your old boyfriend?
Let's not
talk about him, okay?
You know,
some day, Sarah -
you're going to
have to talk to me.
[Music plays]
What did you mean,
you saw God in me?
I don't know.
Can I smoke a cigarette?
[Music plays]
Don't be mad, okay?
David and I went out
for the two and a half years
that I was at college.
We lived together.
After a while he said he couldn't
fall asleep in the same bed with me.
I don't know why.
So, I started sleeping on the couch.
It's so embarrassing.
One night,
I heard this noise -
so, I walk into our room -
and he had sneaked another girl
up the fire escape -
and was having sex with her
in my bed.
The worst part about it
is that I was so -
I don't know,
like crazy about him -
that I didn't break up
with him,
or, I wouldn't let him
break up with me.
And then, I dropped out
of college to try to end it.
And - that's why
my mom is so mad.
But the point is -
I'm not so tough or interesting
as you seem to think I am.
I'm just more of a dork.
Hey - you should come
to Mexico with me.
I'm afraid of that.
They've given me
a first class ticket.
I bet I could trade it in
for two coach ones.
I'm afraid to fly.
You're bullshitting me.
Come on;
you should come.
You have to work.
I don't want
to talk anymore.
I want to fool around.
Do you have a condom?
Then we can't do it.
Oh God.
Do you want
to get me pregnant?
Don't say that.
[Music plays]
Don't you find it odd
when you're a kid -
everyone in the whole world
tells you to
follow your dreams -
and when you get older,
they act all offended
if you even try.
[Music plays]
I'll go to Mexico with you
if you still want me to.
But we'll need to leave
a week early -
and then I'll come back home
before you start work okay?
Good night.
Good night.
Mexico - is where it all went down.
[Music plays]
I think we should have sex.
Right now?
Yes. But I have
to ask you some questions first.
Okay shoot.
Do you have any diseases?
Have you
ever been baptized?
Do I fail the test?
Why are you so scared
to have sex?
I think if we have sex -
I'll fall in love with you.
I'm not much of a lover.
William -
I want to fuck you.
Turn off the light.
Get a condom on.
There's some in my purse.
Where's your purse?
In the bathroom.
Oh Jesus, I'm too nervous.
I'm too nervous.
Nothing! Fuck!
Let's just go to sleep,
What is it?
You don't want to do it?
William: Yeah, I do;
I just can't right now, is all.
Why not?
Why not?
Look -
Sarah, can we
just go to sleep?
What's wrong?
Can I lift your veil now?
If you will be gentle - Ooh!
What' the matter?
You're not being gentle.
Are you kidding?
No, I don't like it we you're like that.
Like what?
Cynical and sarcastic.
I am sincere.
I am sincere.
Are you wearing protection?
It's alright.
Come on.
[Music plays]
Cynical and sarcastic!
I am sincere.
Sarah: I would believe that you
believe you are, for a while.
Everything's for a while.
'For a while' is the stuff
that dreams are made of - baby.
I am sincere.
I am sincere.
I am sincere.
I am sincere.
Take two, okay.
[Music plays]
Can I lift your veil now?
If you will be gentle -
What's the matter?
You're not being gentle.
How was I being?
- Are you kidding?
- No.
I don't like it
when you're like that.
Like what?
Cynical and sarcastic.
I am sincere.
I would believe that you
believe you are for a while.
for a while.
'For a while' is the stuff
that dreams are made of, baby.
I am sincere.
We weren't good tourists.
In our room,
the scent of sex was thick.
I ever wanted
to take a shower again.
My hands
my arms my face -
all smelled of Sarah.
We would mess around all day
till it hurt.
It was hard to tell if
she was kissing me or touching me.
Every part of her body
was as wet as her mouth.
Sarah wasn't sexy the way
other people are sexy.
Her body wasn't tight,
or taut or anything like that.
She was funny,
the way watching people
fall asleep on busses
with their heads
continually dropping
and then jerking back up,
is funny.
She was human -
the most human person
I had ever met
and that was sexy.
Are you awake?
Uh huh.
Sarah: I remember one afternoon
I came home from school -
and my mom told me
my father had left us.
I didn't believe her.
I thought
it was a game -
like hide and seek.
So I looked
all over the house -
closets -
under beds -
I looked everywhere.
Where'd he go?
He went to a
rehabilitation center in Albany,
and never came back.
But he wrote me
once a month,
from the day he left
'til I went away to college.
Once I was away from home,
he'd come visit me.
He just never wanted
to see my mother again.
His letters were my
favorite part of growing up.
They always came
in these dark blue envelopes,
and I'd keep them
in a box - underneath my bed.
I loved
that they were blue -
because when he lived with us,
he'd come home -
always wearing
his blue work shirt.
And I'd sit
on the back of the couch,
and I'd scratch his back.
I'd scratch for as long as
my mom would let me.
When I went to bed at night,
my fingers
would be stained blue.
And you like that?
Yeah - I did.
Do you ever miss
your father?
No, never.
[Music plays]
Can you see me?
[Music plays]
Would you like me
to scratch your back?
[Music plays]
Stand up,
and go to the bathroom.
Just do it.
I wanted to tell her
I loved her.
I loved everything
about her.
I loved the way
she made me feel
even when
that was miserable.
I loved the way
she bought a dress -
the way she made love
in bathrooms -
the way
she ate chocolate.
I loved her mother -
her drunk
blue-letter writing father.
I loved every thought
she ever had.
Are you okay?
William: I just need to get
some fresh air.
Well, go get us some beer,
maybe some OJ for the morning.
Yeah good.
What is it?
I don't know.
I got this weird flash
of nervousness, all of a sudden.
I love you.
I love you, too.
Go get us some beer, okay.
Okay, I'm on it.
Don't forget the OJ!
No problema.
I ran through the city.
I wasn't looking
for a place to buy beer.
I just ran.
[Music plays]
- No!
- Yes!
You don't understand.
[Music plays]
You know, you're not supposed
to drink the water down here.
But it's in a bottle.
No, but it's -
No, it's in a bottle.
[Music plays]
Queria hacer una preguntica
Mi novio y yo yo nos
quere mos casar -
y yo no se si usted nos
podria ayudar con informacion.
Hotel proprietor:
Pero claro que si mija!
Sarah: Necesitimos alquien
que nos pueda casar
rapidito y ajito precio.
Hotel proprietor:
Aja El esposo mio, miesposo Carlos,
los casa bien aruto.
Mira el se enchentru
en la zapateria la vermosa
con la calle el Indio.
Puede ir alla
ahora miso sae?
Hotel proprietor:
Y Felicidades.
Well -
Carmen Maria said
it's possible to get married,
if you really
want to do that.
If you don't want to do it,
it's not a big deal.
No, I didn't say
I didn't want to do it.
I just said, "Today?"
Look, I don't know.
I'm just not sure
if I can be away from you.
And how many times
in a person's life
are you going to fall in love?
I mean -
I'd love to marry you.
I figure,
as long as we maintain
a sense of ourselves
as individuals -
and not become some sloppy,
clingy couple
whose lives revolve
around each other -
then, it might be better
if we did get married.
Then, if something goes wrong,
or goes weird -
which, you know,
it most likely will -
we'd have to figure it out,
and one of us
couldn't just run away.
Do you want to have a kid?
Yeah. But not right away.
No, not right away, of course not.
So, what do you think?
Am I crazy?
Let's do it.
I want to do it.
I mean,
you have to be sure.
If we do this,
we'll be mentioned
in each other's obituaries,
no matter what.
Let's get married.
Let's be individuals,
let's have kids -
- Yeah, but not right away.
- Not right away.
But, fuck it, man,
let's do it.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
I don't understand why you say that.
Well because it's my life.
Mom -
I know it's fast
but it's what we wanted Mom.
William, come here.
Do you mind
talking to her?
Just talk to her.
Hello, Mrs. Garcia.
Mrs. Garcia:
So you what to carry my daughter.
That's right ma'am, I do.
Mrs. Garcia:
Stop calling me ma'am.
You sound insincere.
Fair enough.
Mrs. Garcia:
Is she pregnant?
No, she's not pregnant.
Mrs. Garcia:
I didn't have Sarah till I was 30.
That myth about a young mother
having pretty babies isn't true.
Yup! I understand.
Mrs. Garcia:
Now listen to me very carefully.
Mrs. Garcia:
You are a complete idiot.
You are both exceedingly -
lacking in intelligence.
Am I being clear?
Yes, I think you are.
Mrs. Garcia: Since it doesn't look
like I can do anything
to change your mind -
I only can hope you prove me wrong.
I hope so, too.
Mrs. Garcia:
Now give me back to Sarah.
Okay. Bye, Mrs. Garcia.
Hi Mom.
Yes, I understand.
I love you too, Mom.
Hey, what'd she say?
I can't get married.
What'd she say?
She said -
that it was a good idea.
That you'd be good for me.
That I'll never
make it on my own.
She was actually
very surprised because -
she didn't even think
that you liked me that much.
I'm sorry, William,
I was just being ridiculous.
Come here.
No, I can't go anywhere.
- Come here.
- I'm not going to get married.
I know. Two seconds.
Just follow me;
come on.
Where are we going?
Where are we going?
You'll see.
Come on!
Come on!
I'm going.
[Church bells tolling]
Promise me -
if something goes wrong -
if I run away -
you'll find me
and make me kiss you.
Nothing will go wrong.
Just promise.
I promise.
[Music plays]
[In Spanish]
Scene 66 take one.
And took my hand
And you said
there is no question
And you kindly sent me
I knew then
My girlfriend plays guitar.
Guitar player:
Really? Is she any good?
Yeah, she's really good.
Guitar player:
Is she hot?
Yeah she's real hot.
You know what
it is you miss most
when you're separated
from someone -
you lived with and loved?
It's waking
with that warmness beside you.
Once you get used to
that warmness -
it's a hell of a lonely feeling
to wake up without it.
Specially in some dollar -
Can we do it
from the top?
You know what it is you miss most
we you're separated
from someone -
you lived with and loved?
It's waking up
with that warmness beside you.
Once you get used to
that warmness,
it' a hell of
a lonely feeling -
to wake up without it.
Specially in some dollar-a-night
hotel room on the skid.
A hot water bottle won't do,
and a stranger won't do.
It has to be someone
you're used to -
and that you know
loves you.
Hey, is this mike wire
supposed to be like up my ass?
I spent more than half
the money I made on that movie
on phone calls -
to New York,
and on a last minute
plane ticket.
I changed my flight
a lost $700
so I could arrive
three and a half hours earlier.
No shit,
I really did that.
I would never see you go
Hey, how're you doing?
I came home early;
I wanted to surprise you.
You did.
I thought it'd be fun.
I'm eating oatmeal.
Yeah I can see. How is it?
It's pretty good.
I got you these.
Thank you.
I brought you that towel
you wanted.
And, here's a present.
It's a green dress.
I saw it on a mannequin,
and it reminded me -
of that one you always wear,
so I bought it.
I don't know
if that's lame or not,
buying something -
for somebody that you know
they already have,
but - it made sense
at the time.
Thank you.
No problem.
Do you want to put these flowers
in some water or something?
Are you nervous?
About seeing me?
You look different.
You told me you weren't
coming home until tonight.
I took a different flight.
Hey, I heard a joke;
you want to hear it?
Okay, there's these two monks.
A monsignor guy -
and a regular monk guy,
and they're fishing.
And the regular monk -
this humongous fish.
He goes -
"Wow, that is one heck
of a sonofabitch, "
and the monsignor guy says -
"My son,
watch your language, "
and the other one says -"No,
Father, I'm sorry,
but that's the name
of the fish, 'sonofabitch'."
"Oh, " goes the monsignor.
So that night they're
initiating some new monk,
and they decided
to serve the fish.
They all sat down
eating this fish
and the regular monk goes -
"Boy, this sonofabitch
is really good. "
And the monsignor guy says -
"Yeah, I've never had
sonofabitch this good. "
And he turns to
the new recruit and says -
"How do you like the fish?"
And the new guy says -
I'm not much for fish -
but I'm sure going to enjoy
working with you fuckin' guys. "
I have to go
to the bathroom.
How're you doing?
I just woke up.
I still need to go
to the bathroom.
Listen, I've seen
all this before
Last time I walked
through the door
Why must it be today
Why have I
known it on my way?
You are lovely
all the time
Now you've gone
and changed your mind
If there's something
that won't stray
In the change from
night to day
Are you sure you can come?
Yeah, it's no problem.
We'll only be gone for a couple of days.
And - I'm kind of worried
with the two shows -
we're playing,
I might be kind of busy.
Maybe it's a better idea
if I didn't come then.
Are you sure?
It seems like you need
a little space.
And I got some things
I could probably take are of.
I think you're right.
What do you mean?
Well -
you just said you have some things
to take care of, right?
Yeah, but you know
that's a fuckin' lie.
All I do
is go to the movies.
I've been to -
thirteen movies
in three days.
I mean, you don't
want me to come, right?
I don't know,
I mean -
I don't know. It's just -
you don't
seem to do anything
except sit around
and wait for me.
You know that's not
the couple we wanted to be.
I do?
Look -
while you were gone,
I mean, I don't want to belittle
the time we spent in Mexico -
but it wasn't
very realistic.
And all I did
while you were away,
was sit around
a wait for you -
and think about you.
And, I can't do that.
I've done that before,
and I know that sounds -
you take that away.
I take that away?
Take what away?
I came to New York
to be on my own.
I'm just happy that I was able
to feel the way you made me feel.
I didn't think
it was possible.
Good; you look like
you're feeling better.
So, what's going on here?
Are you breaking
up with me?
I just think that we need
a little more space.
Can't you think of something
a little more original than that?
I'm just trying
to be honest.
Well, then, you're
a pretty boring person if like -
catch-phrases from break-up 101
are your idea of the truth.
I like you so much.
Oh great. You like me!
So I don't have to
feel bad then. That's super.
I'm a sweet guy -
a fun fellow to have
Margaritas and -
hang with
for a week or so but -
not somebody to see
like on a day-to-day basis.
Why are you doing this?
William -
you're going to be fine.
Oh fuck you!
You're a spoiled,
selfish - cold coward.
I've told people
to fuck off,
and I know
how important you feel.
I've been you,
and I know that you suck!
[Music plays]
Guys, can I
borrow the cone?
The morning
Sarah returned from Boston,
I was singing
a different tune.
It went something like,
I'm sorry.
Rise and shine,
Or, I'm going to huff and puff,
and blow your house down.
Thanks a lot, guys.
Oh, come on.
How do you like my outfit?
It's my
"I'm sorry" outfit.
Look, I have to go to work.
I know;
can I walk with you?
Are you Native American?
Okay, so here's the deal.
I'm going to do the talking, alright?
Because I have
some things to say -
and because you don't look
particularly talkative.
Not that you don't
look good - because you do,
that's why I asked the thing
about being Native American.
I'll start the talking,
and if you want to jump in,
just say -
"Hey, I got something
to say. "
And five'll get you ten
that I'll say -
"Go right ahead. "
Okay, I know
what you're thinking,
"God, this guy
is such a creep.
Two days ago, he says
all kinds of nasty things,
and leaves my apartment
in a huff -
and now,
he wakes me up in a tuxedo,
howling at my window -
and expects me to think
it's funny. "
Well, let me tell you, missy,
you are absolutely right.
I don't even like myself.
So what?
The suit gets no comment?
"Why are you
wearing that?"
"Oh, you're so zany. "
Or maybe, "I can't believe
you're such a cuckoo-head. "
Nothing, huh?
You're just going
to keep walking.
Okay, that's cool.
You want to know
why I wore it?
An attempt to make movies
more realistic.
I like to embrace the cliche.
Hey, this is 'A' material.
Okay, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I fucked up.
I got upset.
You just switched gears
on me, you know.
You got to admit that.
Look, I know you're getting
a little scared
that maybe we went too far,
too fast - and that's cool.
It's just you got to give me
a minute to get the idea, you know?
I don't know
how to love you right.
You got to let me know.
See, this is the way I see it,
if the attempt is all -
then I can promise you
Look, I don't want
a boyfriend.
[Music plays]
I own the corner
You look so pale
Hey, it's me.
Sorry for calling
so late but -
I thought
maybe if you wanted,
we could go
get a cup of coffee.
No, I think I'm too tired.
It is late.
Yeah, I should go to bed.
How you been?
What have you been doing?
Where are you?
I'm in The Village.
Are you going to
be singing anytime soon?
Listen, I should go to bed.
Yeah, of course.
I'll talk to you later, then.
Sleep well.
Okay, yeah, you too.
Goodbye William.
William: I held onto the phone
like it was a piece of her.
Everything was
disintegrating so quickly.
I knew I was the dopey guy
standing out in the cold,
staring up
at a warm window.
Hell, I wished
it would rain.
It's just so hard
to miss someone
who only lives
eight blocks away.
At a certain point, William,
your father not calling you
on your birthday,
becomes your problem,
not his.
I didn't expect him to call.
He loves you very much,
I'm sure of this.
Why are we
talking about him?
I just think
it's too painful for him -
to remain
in contact with you.
Why are you giving this to me?
Who brought him up?
I'm sorry.
Why do you think
she doesn't like me?
What, that girl?
Because there's something
wrong with her.
No, Mom.
There's something
wrong with me.
What do you think it is?
You respect people more
when they don't respect you.
That, and you didn't
go to college.
Those are your
only two flaws.
Do you want to hear
about my new boyfriend?
I suppose
that doesn't interest you.
He's very funny.
His name is Harris.
I think you'll be astonished
at how many times
you fall in love.
I just -
I just don't seem to have -
the first idea
about how men -
are supposed to behave.
It seems like
I don't have -
certain qualities
that I should, you know?
I mean, I'm sure
most men don't sit around
getting all chatty -
with their moms.
You know what I'm saying?
What are other men like?
Are they like me?
I don't know.
Hey, how come
I'm not baptized?
I mean weren't you
the least bit -
concerned with
the state of my soul?
Listen, William,
there was nothing
anybody at Fort Worth
First Methodist could do,
for the state of your soul.
Oh, forget it;
it's not important.
Look, listen to me.
You've been ignoring me
since you were fifteen,
and I was thinking that
a good birthday resolution
might be to change your attitude
about your poor old Ma.
Don't be so moody.
A lot of bad shit
is going to happen to you.
People are not
going to love you back.
And if you're serious
about becoming an artist
that's the first thing
you should learn.
And listen -
you're going to die, okay?
Relatively soon, okay?
So, that being said,
you have nothing to worry about.
No matter what happens
in this life,
you have two options -
only two options.
You can handle things well
and be happy,
or, you can handle
them poorly and be miserable.
It's up to you.
Look William,
I'm disappointed.
I didn't escape Fort Worth
to sell college text books
in Trenton, New Jersey.
That was not my goal.
I thought my life
was going to be
so much more interesting
than it's turned out,
but what am I going to
do about it, huh?
The root of depression
is being too self-involved,
and the cure -
is to read - okay.
So, read some books.
Don't take yourself
so seriously. Exercise.
Take that gorgeous,
sexy body outside and move it.
Here, and
open your present.
You got to lose
those cowboy boots, William.
I worked too hard
to get us out of Texas
for you to go around
in those things.
The long night is coming
I hear the way
I feel the crying moment
But oh, baby -
Phone machine:
Please leave a message after tone.
Hi William, Happy Birthday.
I know your birthday is today
and I have some presents.
Today has been
a really bad day for me.
If you have some time,
maybe you could come by
tonight or tomorrow or -
Hi. Yeah, that'd be great.
No, I can come by
right now actually.
[Knocking on door]
- Hi.
- Hey.
Oh - close your eyes.
I have to finish wrapping.
Can I open my eyes now?
So, you want a beer?
You can put on some music,
if you like.
How was your day?
Oh fine.
How was your day?
Crazy. I've been
ridiculously busy lately.
So, what are these?
Okay - I guess I should
open them, huh?
They're for candles.
Look at this.
- You did this?
- Yeah.
Why did you
give this to me?
I thought
you'd like it.
- I do.
- Good.
It's beautiful.
Do you want to
keep seeing me?
I don't think that now
is the right time.
Then, why did you
give it to me?
What do you mean?
What am I supposed to do with it?
Hang it on my wall?
I don't know,
I thought you just -
You think I want to
hang a picture on my wall
to remind me of a girl who
doesn't want to see me anymore?
Look, I warned you that
I didn't think I could do this.
You also made me promise -
to force you to kiss me.
You can't do that.
I came to New York
to be on my own -
Oh, yeah, yeah;
I know the story.
I'm just
trying to be honest.
Well, I wish
you'd lie a little it.
Oh, you want me to lie?
No, I want you
to fuckin' appear.
We're apart
for four stupid weeks,
and I come back to this.
Listen, if you really care -
What did I do?
I didn't do anything wrong.
If you really care about me,
you need to take the time
to understand me.
Oh, this is my fault?
- It's no one's fault.
- Well, that's debatable.
Look, I told you -
this was going to be
really difficult -
Would you just shut up
with the corny, fuckin' lines?
You don't like me anymore.
I was amusing
for a minute,
and now,
I should go away -
and hang your fucking
picture on the wall!
I mean, what am I
supposed to do here, huh?
You know, I've done
what you're doing.
I've said the shit
that you're saying,
and I know it's a lie.
- It's not a lie.
- It's a fucking lie.
Well, maybe you lied to people,
but I am trying to be honest -
Would you please
stop saying that?
- Saying what?
- Honest!
Look, you don't love me.
I could be any girl.
I care about you.
You made me very happy,
but I can't hear myself think -
when you're in the room.
Everything is a big
game of pretend with you.
Let's pretend
to get married,
let's pretend I'm going to be
a country star -
just pretend you're
someone else remember?
No! Nothing
is casual with you.
is a fuckin' big deal.
No! No, no, no, no, no!
Only you.
Only you're a big deal.
Stop it!
Okay, I'm handling
this pretty badly, aren't I?
Listen, I'm a great guy.
You love me.
Look at me.
Would you please
look at me?
I'm right here; look at me.
It's my birthday.
What? What?
Okay, I'll go.
I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry.
I want to make this
easy on you.
I don't want to be pathetic,
I really don't.
But do you think
you could lie to me a little?
Or, let me sleep here
next to you -
something to make this
a little bit easier?
I cannot do that.
Yes, you can. God!
I feel like you're playing
some sick practical joke on me.
I'm sorry you feel like that.
Would you please
talk to me like a person?
Look, what you're going through
has happened to me before,
and once I got through it -
I was grateful because
I was so much stronger.
I am fucking strong.
Where did you go?
What a fuckin' bitch.
She didn't seem
like your type anyway.
William: You think anybody
who isn't like you isn't my type.
That's not true.
She just seemed
a little crunchy.
I heard she wouldn't fuck you.
That's not true; we had sex.
Yeah, I didn't believe it
when I heard it.
I mean,
I couldn't imagine -
you not fucking anybody.
She wouldn't sleep with me for a while.
Why not? She have
some kind of hang-up?
Samantha: I think I was there,
but it was hard because -
I mean I was walking
and talking -
Okay, so here's
what happened -
It was pre-school -
and we went to this park
where I grew up,
and I was wearing
this very special vest -
that my grandmother
had just made for me.
It had like a little purple
unicorn on the pocket.
It was the very first time
that I wore it
and my very first memory -
is of feeding the ducks
that are in the pond,
in the lake
in Kalispel, Montana.
So, this Sarah girl,
she doesn't love you back?
Are you sad?
Let's go to bed.
I don't have a bed.
Really - why?
Because I hucked it out the window.
I didn't like it anymore.
Do you have any condoms?
Just give me a minute;
I'll be right back.
You got to go.
What are you talking about?
I'm not doing too well,
and I don't think
you want to be here.
Yes, I do.
Look, just go.
I really can't deal
with anybody right now.
I'll call you tomorrow.
No, just leave me
the fuck alone, okay!
Then, leave me
the fuck alone.
What light through
yonder window breaks?
It is the East,
and Juliet is the sun!
Arise, fair sun,
and kill the envious moon.
Be not her maid since she is envious,
her vestal livery
is but sick and green,
and none but fools
do wear it!
Cast it off.
It is my lady,
it is my love -
Oh, that she knew she were.
Oh, that I were a glove
upon that hand.
That I might
touch that cheek.
O, speak again,
bright angel.
Hey Romeo, shut up, okay?
Hey Sarah, you can't say
I didn't go out with a bang;
you can't say that!
Phone machine:
Please leave message after tone.
William if you want to talk to me
this is not how to do it.
I'm scared to
leave my apartment.
Please don't
come by anymore.
Hey - hey, I'm sorry.
I don't mean to scare you.
I just wanted
to say 'Goodbye'
with the best words I know.
Yeah, well, goodbye.
Come on, William.
William! Come on,come on!
Alright now, the Cowboys
play on Sunday, alright?
I do not want you
to miss it.
This is our year.
Don't get sad, okay.
When you're thirteen,
I'll ask your mother
if you can come live with me.
Come on, come on.
You'd like that,
wouldn't you?
Alright now, listen to me,
we love you, okay.
Faye: Hey kiddo,
I packed a few snacks in your bag.
You're going to like 'em.
Alright, listen to me now -
never stray too far
from Texas in your heart.
William: That was the last
time I ever saw my dad.
I thought about
calling him and telling him
I had never strayed too far
from Texas in my heart.
And what a crock of shit
that advice was.
Jesse: I'm glad you
decided to show up, William
but I need you
to get your act together.
Take a shower,
change your clothes.
I'm making an early
Christmas dinner
for Harris
and his mom tonight.
Harris and I are going
to Hawaii for Christmas,
so you'll have to
get along without me.
I'm sure
you'll miss me terribly.
Who's Harris?
He's my boyfriend, William.
I told you that.
He's living with you now?
I've told you all this.
[Phone ringing]
Hi it's me. Leave a message.
Hey listen,
it's me, William.
Are you there?
Are you there?
Okay, sorry for calling.
Give me a call
when you get a chance.
Merry Christmas.
[Dial tone on phone]
Hi, it's me. Leave a message.
Hey, sorry for leaving you
another message.
I just wanted to tell you
that I know you might not
want to talk to me and -
if that's the case,
don't worry about it.
We'll talk
when the time is right.
Alright. See you.
Hi, it's me. Leave a message.
Listen, it's me again.
This is pretty absurd, huh?
I just know that you're not
going to call me back,
and you should.
I mean, I'd like you to;
that'd be nice.
Not that you give a rat's ass
about being nice,
because I know you don't.
It's just that I went out
with this other girl
a couple of nights ago -
Samantha; remember her?
I mean, I know
that you don't like her
because -
she doesn't spout out
a lot of intellectual bullshit,
but - she's real smart.
You shouldn't think that
just because a girl's pretty,
she's not smart,
because that's not the case.
I don't know,
it always seemed to me
that you had a lot of hang-ups
about shit like that.
Maybe it's just that
you try to be, like, all -
extra smart because
you're not that pretty.
But you shouldn't do that
because you know,
I think you're pretty.
Not that you're, like,
fantastically interested in -
receiving emotional advice
from me or anything but -
Samantha is definitely
an attractive woman -
and she's smart.
And, we had a good time.
It gave me some distance
on us, you know?
It made me miss you less.
Not like
I'm some crazy maniac
missing you
or something, so -
don't get all freaked out
and call the cops.
Just call me back, okay?
That'd be cool, you know?
I mean, I'm aware
I'm not first on your list -
of people to please
right now,
but - just give me a call.
I really need to talk
to somebody.
You know what I was thinking
the other day?
Remember how you used to
walk on the curb,
and have me walk
on the street,
so that we could be
the same height?
Yeah, well,
that's really fucked up.
You shouldn't do that.
I'm taller than you,
and you should just face it.
Yeah, well -
listen, I don't want to
hang up right now,
because I know
as soon as I do,
I'm going to feel like
a real moron.
So could you just
please call me back -
otherwise I'll
probably kill myself.
I'm not going to
kill myself.
You know, you really have
no sense of humor whatsoever.
That always drove me
crazy about you.
All right.
Call me back, okay?
I'm going to hang up now. Bye.
William, you have to to calling.
Hey. I thought you
were probably at your mom's
for Christmas or something.
Christmas is still a week away.
Yeah. I remember.
I just wanted
to call you back,
and tell you
I was sorry for calling.
You sound exhausted.
Why don't
you get some rest?
Because I can't sleep.
You know, I've been thinking
about you a lot recently -
more like non-stop.
Sarah: Well, I appreciate
you thinking about me,
but we shouldn't talk now,
not for a long time.
Yeah, I think you're right!
Or else, maybe I just
want to agree on something.
Let' agree on that, okay? Goodbye.
All this time, I thought that secretly -
you were a good person.
But you're not.
Let us enjoy the spirit of generosity.
The Peace of the Lord
be with you.
And also be with you.
Priest: I'd like to
invite you to open your hearts -
and shake hands
with the people around you.
Merry Christmas.
What is it with you?
Oh, let's see. I can't sleep.
I go to the bathroom
about fifteen times an hour.
I wake up to a voice
inside my head
that calls myself a faggot -
with every throbbing
of my pulse.
I haven't seen my father
since I was eight.
And, I'm 21 years old now,
and I feel like I should
have my shit together -
but all I feel is
everything coming apart.
And for about three minutes
I believed -
in destiny and that,
you know, I had one.
But now, I'm -
I don't know, adrift.
I have no connection
to anything.
Not people, not me -
not you, not family,
not the past,
not the future,
not anything -
you know?
I keep lookin'
down the road
Out the window,
high and low
The cold is risin'
it's halfway gone
Merry Christmas, William.
I love Christmas morning,
don't you?
I mean, I know
it's a pain in the ass
for us to drive around
like this, but your father -
Your Daddy is what people
like to call 'a project'.
He wants to make me very small,
and fit me in his pocket.
You're sweet.
Merry Christmas, William.
Isn't this fun?
Do you think you're going
to get a lot of good presents?
I think so.
You know what I want?
I want your daddy
to stop being such a bully.
You don't bully women, William;
it's not nice.
You want to be a cowboy,
you can be a cowboy,
but you be
a gentleman cowboy.
Look you just be
whatever you want.
Goddamn it.
Goddamn it.
Hey! Hey! No!
Stay in the car.
You hear me?
You stay in this car.
Now, I told you
not to be here!
I told you not -
Fuck you!
- Leave him alone.
- Hey buddy -
Merry Christmas, okay.
This is from Santa.
That's it. Okay, goodbye.
Merry Christmas.
Yeah, Merry Christmas to you too.
[Music plays]
Buddy, what' going on?
I love that stupid girl
so much, Mom.
I fell in love
with your father
because of the way
he told a joke.
That doesn't always work.
My point is,
it's all pretty arbitrary.
Your whole life,
people are going to ask you
to be weak, William.
They'll practically beg you.
But all anybody
really wants from you,
is for you to be strong.
Look -
It's a baptism -
by ice.
Is it written
in the stars
Were we've been
or where we are?
And where we're going
I don't know
Hi, I'm William.
William! Wow.
You're all grown up.
Yeah. Is my Dad here?
Yeah. Come on;
come on in.
It's okay; I'll wait here.
You sure? Okay, one second.
Vincent! Hey, Vince?
Yeah, what?
What? What is it?
Hey there, William,
how you doing?
Well, come on inside.
Can I talk to you
for a minute?
Sure, come on in.
No, would you mind
stepping outside for a second?
- Vince: Sure.
- Faye: Hey, Thomas.
Let me get my jacket, alright?
- William: You watching the game?
- Vince: Yeah, yeah.
- William: Cowboys?
- Vince: Yeah, yeah.
They any good this year?
No, no, they suck.
I don't really follow them
too much any more.
Well they're kind of -
Sweetie, Lisa,
get out of here, darling.
Go back to the kitchen.
So listen -
Could I bum one of those?
Remember that time we were
shooting those cans?
Behind the supermarket?
Yeah well, you said
that day that -
when I was thirteen,
I could come live with you.
You said that
a bunch of times.
Yeah well, my thirteenth
birthday's come and gone -
and you never even
called me.
In point and fact -
I haven't heard from you at all
in a pretty long time.
I'm sorry.
Well apology not accepted,
you know what I mean?
Yeah, I know
what you mean.
Look William -
it was so hard on you
when you were little
when we would -
You know,
and your mother - she -
You know, and then,
I got remarried and -
Every family -
Can we talk about
something else?
I fell in love
with this girl,
but she broke up with me.
She kind of
broke my heart, I think.
That'll happen.
That happen to you?
Sure, sure, I guess.
Did my mom
break your heart?
I don't know.
That was a long time ago.
Well, you got over it, huh?
I guess.
Well, good for you.
I just feel like I might not
get over it, you know?
Like maybe I'm too sensitive
or something.
Well, maybe you won't.
You know what I mean?
You'll move on, but -
if it hurt real bad,
then it'll scar -
or, like a bone fracture,
or something,
it'll ache
when it rains.
Sounds like some
real deep advice -
coming from a guy
who bailed on his son.
I'm just doing my best here.
Well it's not very good,
your best.
No, no, it's not.
I was in a movie.
I bet you didn't know that.
No, a movie?
Yeah, I'm going to be
a big fat fuckin' movie star.
And people are going to ask you
if you're related to me,
and you're going
to have to say -
"Yup, he's my son
that I never seen. "
Well, that would be great.
Why are you being so -
I don't know.
How do you
want me to be?
I don't know.
- I wanted you to call me, that's all.
- I'm sorry.
You know, I thought -
I thought it would be better for you -
Goddamn, it is bitch cold.
I thought it was supposed
to be hot in Texas.
Yeah, it's
the Hottest State.
Fort Worth
is the Hottest State I know.
My dad lives there,
my grandma too,
most every grandparent
except a few.
I like it there.
Boy, is it hot.
What's that?
It's a poem you wrote
when you were a kid.
Oh yeah?
Does that make you feel better
that you remember some poem?
No, it doesn't.
I loved you so much,
and then -
Hey, what have I got to do
to get this girl back?
You can't will anybody
to do anything.
What do I have to do?
What was her name?
Did she ever love you?
I don't know.
I think so.
Don't do anything,
just be cool, you know.
Just wait;
she'll call you.
- She won't.
- Yes, she will.
No, she won't.
Well then, fuck her;
you know.
People who give up on love
aren't worth loving.
What's that say about you?
I don't know
what it says about me.
But, seeing you here
today -
says a hell of a lot
about you.
[Guitar music]
Do you what to do it in the same key?
Do you want to sit down?
We've been away for a little while -
doing some tour
of some Canadian Universities.
And I don't know, I thought
it might be a good idea
if we said, 'Hello. '
It might be.
How are you?
You know -
fine - good!
How about you?
Like a cat,
always nervous.
Don't worry.
I'm not going to
break anything.
No, about performing.
My mom is comin tonight,
and she's so ridiculous.
Sounds like a big night.
I just want to tell you that -
the week I spent with you
in Mexico was probably -
the best six days
of my whole life, and -
I'm sorry it all didn't
go down the perfect way.
But when I think about the time
we spent together now -
I am grateful -
for what it did for me.
I don't know, I just think
that you're too intense.
You are -
I mean, you're very intense.
- You think I'm intense?
- Yeah.
I thought -
I don't know what I thought
but something bad.
'Intense' sounds good.
I'm glad it was you.
If somebody's going to -
break your heart,
you want it to be -
you know, somebody like you.
You've always had
a very deluded sense
of how interesting I am.
Yeah, well, I like you.
And I didn't
break your heart.
Your heart was broken long
before you ever met me.
Oh, give yourself
a little credit.
How's the movie business?
It' good.
I'm - starting
a new one this summer.
Oh wow, cool.
Hey Sarah, you want to try one?
Are you going to stick
around for the show?
Yeah sure, I'll be around.
My heart is gold.
What will you
give me for it?
[Music plays]
You watch your footsteps
in a dream
You climb a staircase
and turn a key
And walk in through
the open door
Where you once lived
years before
Years before
Then it all goes
just as fast
You reach your hand out
To touch the past,
touch the past
[Music plays]
I remember, as a kid,
I used to walk
down the street,
twenty or so paces
behind my mother,
so that people would think
I was an orphan.
I wanted
to believe it myself.
Not because I wished
my parents dead or anything
but more because
orphans were tough.
They could handle anything.
And because
I wanted to be free
from this emotional
chain reaction
that seemed to be sparking off
like a string of firecrackers
since the day I was born.
I felt that again only now,
I didn't have to pretend.
It was real.
I was 21-
an adult,
and an orphan at last