Housefull 2 (2012) Movie Script

It's your cue to bring the
animals forward when I say.
You two. I want you over there.
We've got one hour to go.
Henna Kapoor.
Designated member of
the LAW organization.
Loving Animals Worldwide.
These people torture the animals..
..To make them perform.
Boys, seize all the animals.
You can't do this.
- I'll show you.
I'll show you.
And who are you?
Bobby Kapoor.
Designated member of
the LAW organization.
Loving Animals Worldwide.
And how many are there world wide?
And this is the head
of our department.
Look, sir.
How this entire raid was
conducted because of me.
I had carried out this
sting operation, sir.
What else can a scorpion do?
Sting Operation.
Look, look, one second.
The credit of this
raid goes to both of you.
And this is nothing.
The pet that you have in your house.
A python.
What else do you expect, sir?
Her entire family is
a bunch of serpents.
Don't talk too much,
Of all the animals, you've
kept a crocodile in your house.
Because your family is just too much.
Shut up, Bobby.
- You shut up, Henna.
Just mind your business.
- You mind your language.
You cow.
- You fox.
Shut up, Bobby.
- You shut up.
Sir, why are they quarreling?
Who are they?
They are cousin sisters.
If this is the case with the sisters..
..Then wonder how
their mothers will be?
I am Mrs. Kapoor.
I've a 4 o'clock appointment.
Excuse me.
I am Mrs. Kapoor.
And I've a 4 o'clock appointment.
Actually... both of
you are Mrs. Kapoor..
..So we made a mistake.
Look, that's your problem.
Now, if you'll excuse me.
My turn.
"My turn."
You've injected a ton of botox,
but what's the use?
You don't look like Ms.
England either.
You old hag.
Ma'am, please don't quarrel.
Otherwise your facelift will shift.
Shut up. - That will happen to her,
mine's been done fantastically.
Who are these two?
Oh, God.
If this is the case with them..
..Then wonder how
their husband's might be?
Good morning, gentlemen.
You'll be happy to know..
..That the demand for
our United Baby Products..
..Is increasing
worldwide and not just in UK.
Daboo, shut up.
How could you start
the meeting without me?
And with the company's co-chairman.
Gentlemen, since he joined us..
..The profit figures of our company..
..Have fallen, just like him.
Chintu, don't you dare.
I will, Daboo. I will.
Because you're just Kapoor and son..
..And I am Kapoor and real son.
You're crossing your limit, Chintu.
My father was the one
who crossed his limit.
He gave me a brother, that
too from another mother.
But I was born first.
There was nothing official about it.
I had a direct delivery.
But I was born first.
Don't think so highly of yourself.
You're a Chintu since
the time you were born.
But I am more respected.
Though you were illegitimate..
..My father equally divided
the house, business, wealth.
..Between us.
That's why we've been
sharing everything all our life.
Remember one thing.
Illegitimates are born out of love.
Real sons, out of duty.
You and your family took
advantage of that love..
..And snatched my right.
Otherwise, you, your
wife and your daughter..
..Are no better than beggars.
Don't you dare take
my daughter's name.
Now I will show you what
my daughter's stature is..
..When I get her married
in UK's wealthiest family.
Just watch where I get
my daughter married.
Your daughter's husband will
be a penniless pickpocket.
And your son-in-law
will be characterless.
You wait and watch, Daboo.
You watch your wait, Chintu.
I will get the best son-in-law.
I will get the best son-in-law.
I will get the best son-in-law.
I will get the best son-in-law.
Kapoor and son.
Kapoor and real son.
Both brother's will quarrel,
and Pasta will mint money.
After all I run London's
most famous marriage bureau.
Aakhri Pasta.
Kapoor, I am coming. I am coming.
Where are you these days, Pasta?
Since you opened up
the marriage bureau..
..You are really busy.
What to do, Mr. Kapoor?
These days the father of every young
girl has only one name
Aakhri Pasta.
To get engaged, Aakhri Pasta.
To get married, Aakhri Pasta.
Even on their wedding night,
Aakhri Pasta.
I am joking.
You'll have breakfast alone,
and Aakhri Pasta will starve.
Shut up.
Listen to me.
You can charge me double the fees..
..But I want London's
wealthiest and the best groom..
..For my daughter Heena.
Hello, Pasta.
Idiot. Come to my house right away.
Okay. I will come tomorrow.
Today, right now.
On the spot.
Excuse me, Mr. Kapoor.
Where's your bathroom?
It's a little urgent.
Urgent ?
Last night in the
restaurant I had the last pasta.
Now it's looking for a way out.
What are you doing in
my bedroom, in my bed?
I want to douse my eternal craving.
Stop it!
I am joking.
That's better.
Look, Pasta.
You can charge me double.
But I want a top-notch,
fantastic boy for my daughter.
Okay, sir.
My words are like the
arrow shot from a bow.
And if you go to that rascal Chintu..
..Then I will shove
that arrow up yours """.
Are you immersed in your Potty
What's taking you so long?
Mr. Kapoor.
Do you have a loo in your house?
- What?
Bloody fool, you were in the bathroom.
What are you doing in the kitchen?
There was no toilet
paper in the bathroom..
..So I came to get some water.
I wrote the names of
rich and famous boys..
..On the toilet paper
for your daughter Henna.
Bloody fool.
If this toilet paper
that has the names of..
..The rich and famous boys
falls in the hands of Daboo.
..Then I will hit you very badly
I will hit you very badly
How is that possible?
I am your man.
Your mouth stinks.
Mr. and Mrs. Rajendra Babani.
You will really like
Chintu Kapoor's family.
Pasta, please speak softly.
He has a heart condition.
Why does he get a shock
if someone speaks loudly?
Back in our company, a steel
weighing thousands of ton..
..Fell before him.
And it shattered his eardrums.
We're going to select a bride for Jai.
But today he isn't with us.
I wish he was with us..
Call him.
Jai sir.
Parul, I've told you
so many times that..
..You're not just my
assistant but also a good friend.
Please call me Jai.
- Okay, Jai.
That's better.
- Yes.
There's something I want to say.
I know what you want to say.
But before that there's
something I want to say.
One second.
My dad
Jai. I know that you
always did as I said.
Actually, son, I called you to say..
..That we're going to
select a bride for you.
It's a really nice family, son.
I hope you won't say no.
Don't worry, dad.
I'll do as you say.
You were going to say something.
My dad has fixed my
marriage somewhere else.
And you don't want to hurt him.
Parul, you were going to
say something as well.
Yes. I...wanted to say something.
It was a pleasure assisting you, Jai.
Welcome, Mr. and Mrs.
Rajendra Babani...
Please carry on with the snacks.
If you don't mind,
can you speak softly?
Loud noises give him a heart trouble.
Oh, I am so sorry.
I did not know, sorry.
I was saying, why
didn't your son come along.
We've to discuss about his life today.
How can he, Mr. Chintu.
He's serving time in
Delhi's Tihar Jail..
..For murdering a girl.
Are you serious?
- I am joking.
Right now he's doing a
calendar shoot in Hawaii.
That boy's a real gem.
He's so tall.
He's so handsome.
He doesn't look like his son.
You're joking?
- I am serious.
Don't be fooled by his looks.
He looks half-beaten.
He's completely opposite.
He's fairer.
He's very beautiful.
He doesn't look like his real,
but his step-son.
Excuse me, is he talking
about your son? - Yes.
Why, what's wrong?
"What's wrong?"
Keep the snacks down.
You're over-reacting.
Keep that laddoo down.
I am sure, completely sure.
That Jai is an illegitimate child.
He's their step-son.
Kapoor sir, what..
What are you..
- Keep that jalebi down.
Jai, is his father's son.
I never said he wasn't.
But you aren't his father.
Your wife took the 'Love
thy neighbor' too seriously.
Please, Mr. Kapoor.
Shut up, woman.
What's the point in
making steel locks..
..When your fair neighbor
had the key to your house.
Have some shame.
You shut up.
Your fate black.
You're black.
Life has done a black comedy with you.
Black comedy.
How dare you?
- You witch, keep quiet.
Impotent neutron, get
your son's DNA test done.
First lets get his ECG done. Come on.
Who would know better..
..About legitimate and
illegitimate better than me?
Out, out, out. Get out from here.
And remember, Pasta.
Don't get me proposals of
such illegitimate families.
Get me legitimate millionaires.
Hindujas. Mittal. JD's.
Get me their proposals.
Or don't show me your face.
What did you say?
Kapoor right?
And you didn't even stop him.
What could I do?
He kept insulting uncle non-stop.
He insulted him so badly
that he suffered a heart-attack.
He said "Get me proposals from
Hinduja, Mittal, or JD's son
What did you say?
JD's son.
He want's JD's son, doesn't he?
I will give him JD's son.
Because JD's son Jolly
is my childhood friend.
Now JD's son will avenge
my father's humiliation.
Come on, Jolly. Not again.
Look, I didn't stop in
my tracks this time.
Yes, but you are hesitating.
Why are you so scared of your dad?
I am not scared of my dad.
Last time I didn't even
get down from the chopper.
And this time I took ten steps
ahead from the chopper with you.
Let's face it, Jolly.
You don't have the guts.
You've brought me here 6th times.
Sixth time.
But you never
introduced me to you dad.
Seventh time, ma'am.
Shut up, Mike.
From now I am going to lead
my life the way I want to.
I am a model.
I will do bikini shoots.
Hot videos.
And you'll have the right to stop me..
..Only when you
introduce me to your dad.
And talk about our relation.
And tell him that
you want to marry me.
What a scene.
You are very strange.
You're a wealthy man now.
JD sir.
Yet the same simplicity.
The same dhoti, same kurta.
And cleaning Badal every morning,
brushing him.
What is this?
How do you manage it?
Patil, don't you know.
No matter however wealthy JD becomes.
He might touch the sky..
..But his feet will
stay rooted on the ground.
Father, today I will
speak and you will listen.
Father, today I will
speak and you will listen.
Today you'll speak and I will listen.
That's fine.
But where are you these days?
Spend some time...
with your father as well.
I...I have a friend.
Friendship is fine.
But don't get into a relationship.
You don't know.
But I've fixed your marriage..
..With my friend Batook Patel's
daughter when you were a child.
And I have given my word.
Let's go.
- Jolly.
Maharashtrian boy and Gujarati girl.
A combination of 'Lejim' and 'Dandia'.
"The clouds have parted, and
raindrops are falling pitter-patter."
You saw that Jolly.
Just like that Kapoor gave
my father a heart-attack..
..Similarly you'll give
that Kapoor a heart-attack.
- Yes, you Jolly.
That Kapoor want's JD's son.
You are JD's son.
Look, go up to him and fix
your marriage with his daughter
And refuse on the day of the marriage.
He will surely suffer a heart-attack.
If my father JD finds out
about this fake marriage..
Jai, I haven't told my father
about my real girlfriend yet.
Jolly, this is my father.
And that is my father.
You don't know my father.
When he loses his mind,
I am really scared.
I can't do it, but someone else can.
What do you mean?
- I mean..
Kapoor want's JD's son, right.
- Yes.
You know I am JD's son.
I know I am JD's son.
But Kapoor doesn't
know who JD's son is.
What do you mean?
I mean we'll send someone
else to Kapoor's house..
..Posing as JD's son.
- He'll do our job.
You mean fake Jolly.
That's a good plan..
..But we need a big rascal for this.
Jai. Remember back in college.
- Who?
"Don't know about this, but that."
- Just a minute.
Are you talking about him?
- Yes.
I am talking about him.
He's a big rascal.
- How big?
Not just that, but he's
a common thief as well.
And only he can do this job.
But what is his name?
Can't say about Italian,
but I will do the job.
Thanks, Max.
So, how much will it cost us?
Cost you? What are you saying?
My charge will be 50,000 Pounds.
Fine, Max.
We'll give you 50,000 Pounds.
But I will stay with you.
I want to see that Kapoor suffer.
His action for the marriage.
And his reaction for
the shattered marriage.
Then, Jai.
You and Max..
I mean you go with JD's
son Jolly as his driver.
Both will work as a screwdriver.
He will drive the car.
And he'll screw Kapoor's happiness.
From tomorrow, I am
JD's son Jolly, not you.
Just a second.
Why did you call me in
this sauna for this meeting?
Because we know your reputation.
And sauna's the only place..
..Where you can't
steal anything from us.
What can he steal from the sauna?
Mamma mia.
The rascal stole my towel.
Now I will have to go home nude.
The stray will chase me mamma mia.
That's great. That's great.
This is what God wants.
This Real Kapoor sign
should be here and not there.
This is where you belong.
I am sorry.
I am really sorry, sir.
Let's start.
I am checking, sir.
JD's son will have to stand
in the middle of the road..
"Because of a driver's carelessness.
JD's son?
Yes, yes. JD's son.
Check it.
Excuse me. I am Mr. Kapoor.
- As if I care.
Son. Maybe you didn't recognize me.
But I do recognize you.
You're JD's son, aren't you?
Oh my, God. How did you know?
I've got a very good idea.
As long as JD's
son's car isn't fixed..
..JD's son can rest in my house.
What is this "JD's son"?
My name is Jolly.
Maybe you don't know..
..But every month I write
out a check to my father.
- Yes.
And he signs it and sends it back.
Sense of humor.
Where is your house?
This is my house.
This house?
Sir, our car is bigger than that.
Wait, wait, wait.
It appears smaller.
But it's much bigger from inside.
Come. Come in.
Kapoor sir.
Your watch had fallen down.
All that staring was beneficial.
You can come in too.
I will give you tea and biscuits.
Meet my wife, Dolly.
Multi-billionaire JD's only son Jolly.
Jolly, Dolly.
Dolly, Jolly.
Let's play Holi.
Excuse me, sir.
Rather than living in this shanty..
..I will call a taxi to
take you to the airport.
You fool.
Look at the time.
We've missed our flight.
Now there are no flights for 24 hours.
That's great. That's great.
Hi, dad.
Look. She's my daughter Bobby.
Look who is here?
Mr. JD's multi-billionaire son, Jolly.
Your jacket..
- This is pure leather.
I love leather.
- Leather.
Like this belt.
Can't say about the charmer..
..But this is made of pure
snake skin. - Snake's skin
And these shoes are crocodile leather.
Sir, tell her about the leopard.
- Of course.
The seats in my car
are pure leopard skin.
The same leopard sir
ran over with is car.
Shut up!
You're a murderer!
Animal skins are supplied..
"Because of rich brats like you.
Animals die, and you're showing off.
If you ask me..
..I would rather skin you alive.
You should be hanged to death.
Don't be upset.
Actually my daughter loves animals.
Can't say about your daughter.
But I am missing my mother.
- What?
She used to curse me similarly..
..And I really liked hearing those.
Dear, keep thinking
about those memories..
..And my job will get easier.
I mean let's do something else.
What? Eat?
Even dogs eat.
Do dogs drink?
Come on, come on.
Let's go to my bar. It'll be fun.
Get something to eat, go on.
- Yes.
Come on, come on. Please.
It's going to be when
you get a heart attack.
Jolly. It's quite late.
Stay back for the night.
How can you drive in
this drunken condition?
I am the driver.
I will drive the car.
Rascal. How can the driver drive..
..When the master's right here?
Here you go.
What are your thoughts on marriage?
I want a girl that makes me rich.
Me too.
Sense of humor.
What did you say?
I said, son, here you go.
Can't say about that..
..But I really liked
hearing son-in-law.
Say it again.
- Son-in-law.
- Son-in-law.
Now you say, father-in-law.
- Father-in-law.
Daboo! Daboo!
Who's barking this
early in the morning?
It's my neighbor's Alsatian.
Hey Doberman Daboo.
So you showed your true colors.
You proved your bad blood.
Why are you barking?
Mind your language.
Show some respect.
Why are you abusing him
saying "Daboo, Daboo"?
Daboo's my name.
- Sorry.
Who are you? Where are you from?
Want a slap?
Do you know who I am?
Do you know who he is?
Do you know who he is?
This is my sure-shot,
hot-shot, future son-in-law.
And if anyone yells
at my father-in-law..
..Then I won't spare him.
You rascal, thief.
This Daboo is a thief.
What are you saying?
He stole the 'Real'
from my nameplate..
..And stuck it on to his nameplate.
I am Chintu Kapoor.
Kapoor and Real son.
How can you go in the wrong house?
I am sorry.
And now that fool Max says..
..That Daboo's house is right for him.
Of course. Money, girl, he's
getting everything readymade
Look, Max is no use to us now.
Chintu has seen Max in Daboo's house.
- Oh no.
What now?
Now you'll have to find
a bigger rascal than Max.
Bigger rascal..
A bigger rascal than Max.
Remember him in our college.
- Who?
- Yes, him.
Jolly, we cannot call him.
He's too dangerous.
- I know, I know.
But don't you want to
avenge your father? - Yes, but..
You won't find a bigger rascal in UK.
And what is this rascal's name?
Excuse me. Sunny?
He's inside.
Be careful guys, I
am trying to fix it.
It's broken.
Oh no.
Why are you tiring yourself?
I got your virgin.
I mean, your version.
Sit down, slowly.
Slowly. Slowly. Slowly. Slowly.
Thank you.
Buffoons, have my grapes.
One by one.
Mr. Sunny is a gem of a person.
- Yes.
But sometimes I lose my character.
Now let's talk about money.
Jai, give him 50,000 pounds as well.
- Yes.
Him too?
Give him too?
Who did you talk to earlier?
I hope you didn't approach Max?
- No, no.
Max...Max...I don't who he is.
Give the money.
Here's the money.
Keep it in the middle.
In the middle.
Who's the monster in the photo?
He's not a monster.
He's my father.
And I am his sin.
I am sorry.
But our deal.
Mamma mia.
One minute. One minute.
Why didn't you tell Sunny about Max?
Don't ever mention
Max in front of Sunny.
Because if Sunny spots Max
then he will definitely kill
And if Max spots Sunny
then he will kill Sunny.
How did they become enemies?
Actually, the two of us, Max and
Sunny studied in the same college.
These two senior
citizens with you two children.
No, Sunny and Max were
in their final year..
..When we were in the first year.
And when we were in our final year..
..Sunny and Max were
still in their final year.
They were best of friends.
And one day during the
college farewell party.
"Papa plays the band."
"Acts as the principal himself."
"Makes a keep quiet rule."
"He always screams."
"You're an idiot."
"You're a fool."
"You still don't have the knowledge."
"You're still not of the
age to lock horns with me."
"Whatever...whatever we do."
"Papa plays the band."
"Papa plays the band."
"Papa plays the band."
"Papa plays the band."
"Days filled with flirting around."
"Every night party night."
"But papa's sitting on
our dreams like dynamite."
"But papa's sitting on
our dreams like dynamite."
"You're an idiot."
"You're a fool."
"You still don't have the knowledge."
"You're still not of the
age to lock horns with me."
"Whatever...whatever we do."
"Papa plays the band."
"Papa plays the band."
"Wonder why does he
always grill and fry us?"
"What's the problem if
we chill out a little?"
"What's the problem if
we chill out a little?"
"You're an idiot."
"You're a fool."
"You still don't have the knowledge."
"You're still not of the
age to lock horns with me."
"Whatever...whatever we do."
"Papa plays the band."
I am scared of the dark.
Come on, come in, come in.
Come in.
Finally I am alone with you,
and in a cupboard.
Sonia. Sonia. What are you doing?
You're my best friend's girlfriend.
Your best friend is hot,
but you are hotter.
Sonia, you've lost your mind.
What do you mean by..
What are you doing, Sunny?
Max. Max.
He was hitting on me, Max.
He knew that I am your girlfriend,
but still he was..
Sonia. From acting smart to sympathy.
Shut up, okay.
You call him your friend, Max.
He was all over me, Max.
Sonia, just get out of here now.
Get lost.
He's my friend.
He trusts me, okay.
- How could you?
Hey, Max. What's wrong with you?
Max. Max.
You're not worth it.
You're not my friend.
And she's worth it.
You hit me, for this
characterless girl.
- Sunny. Sunny.
Let go.
- Max.
What are you doing, Max?
- Let go.
- Sunny.
We're no longer friends.
Who wants to be
friends with you anyway?
I swear on Thames.
Max is going to be
right in the next house..
..Where we are sending Sunny.
If they come face to face
it'll be world war four.
Oh no.
Just a minute.
You go back to Max.
And I will stay with Sunny.
Under no circumstances..
..Can we let Sunny and
Max come face to face.
- Yes.
Blabbering baboon, vibrating vagabond.
What did I do, Mr. Kapoor?
What did you do?
You got a wealthy
son-in-law for that Daboo.
You've piles in your brains. Piles.
What's done is done.
If he got a wealthy
son-in-law then so be it.
But I want a extremely
wealthy boy for my Henna.
Your wish is my command, Mr. Kapoor.
It's a snap for me.
- "Snap for me."
You think it's that easy?
Will he drop down from the sky?
Mamma Mia.
Mr. Kapoor, it's
such a romantic scene.
What is this?
Get up.
Are you fine, dear?
Out of the frying
pan...and into the fire.
Who are you?
- JD's only son.
Who is JD's son?
My daddy was taking me to
see some girl for my marriage.
He was taking me in his private jet..
..But when I found out,
I jumped out in mid-air..
"Because if he's JD
then I am JD's son.
JD's son.
He's JD's son.
He's JD's son.
Why are you tiring yourself
Sir. Sir.
Sir. Jolly sir.
Why are you spitting?
Thank God you're safe sir.
It had to be.
Because I had a soft landing.
Excuse me. Hello.
Who are you?
He's my bodyguard
cum driver cum pilot.
Sir. You're father Mr. JD
must be looking for you.
He can send the entire
army here to get you married.
So we'll have to go
underground for a few days.
We might have to find
a safe spot to hide.
Where will we find such a place?
I want a bungalow, wall,
barb-wire, garden, orchard.
I suggest that we hide in the bushes.
Let's go, sir.
- Sir, sir, sir.
We have a barb
- wire, bungalow and a wall.
You have this house.
What house?
This is your house, sir.
This house?
This house.
- Shut up. Get out of here.
Sir, please come.
That's fine, but why are you
sending your LAW officer..
..To my house?
He's coming to study your research.
He's a man of high post.
He'll do a survey on
how you look after Fifi.
You might win the LAW award, Henna.
He'll be there, right now.
Reaching anytime.
- Okay, sir.
I'll be nice to him. Bye.
You'll be really happy to meet her.
I'm telling you.
Do you know who's this?
Yes, I know.
He's here for me.
And from high above.
We'll have to go to my bedroom..
..For the job you're here for.
Shall we?
Excuse me.
Where are you going?
I am a bodyguard, sir.
You bodyguards take
your job too seriously.
But a bodyguard's job is to
break the attackers bones. - Yes.
But you look like a skeleton yourself
Seems like you started dieting,
but forgot to stop. - Sir.
Whose bodyguard were you earlier?
The President.
President of America?
- No.
President of Lions Club, Bhandup.
Bloody... What is Bhandup?
Just a minute.
- Henna.
Wonder what's wrong with Tommy.
He's had a rash since I
made him wear clothes.
What should I do now?
Do me a favour, he
must be feeling hot.
Please take the clothes off.
How's he feeling?
- Cool.
I don't know what's wrong with Tommy.
- Cool.
Very cool
Now on the bed.
How's he feeling now?
I think he's feeling better.
Let me hear him bark.
Tommy, bark.
Bark, Tommy.
Very kinky.
I can't hear.
Why are you tiring yourself
From the mosquito net.
You two had such a cute,
lovely meeting.
That means you don't feel
offended like your daughter?
No, no, not at all.
First meeting should
always be memorable.
That means now.. I
should call you father
No. Father-in-law.
Let's have some sweets on that note.
Hey, Bhandup.
Nothing. He's just
checking whether it's poisoned.
The LAW officer didn't come there.
He had some personal problems.
Okay, bye.
Okay, sir. Thank you.
You like taking off
your clothes, don't you?
I'll teach you a lesson now.
Henna, you called. was my mistake.
I was talking on the
phone and you thought..
What did I think?
I am going through a
lot of stress right now.
My mind's completely on Fifi.
Who's Fifi?
My cute little pet.
Her wisdom tooth's aching.
And the dentists are
on a strike today.
If you can extract her tooth..
- Sir.
All okay, sir?
And who is Fifi?
You two go in, I'll be right with you.
What do you think Fifi would be?
A small dog, what else?
Fifi. Fifi. Fifi.
Fifi. Fifi.
- Fifu.
What do we do? Fifi.
Why are you tiring yourself
Papa Ranjeet.
Papa Ranjeet gave me these
sleeping tablets for an emergency.
We'll take these and fall asleep?
- Not us.
Then? - I've put many
butterflies to sleep with this.
So she's no match for it.
Come on, Fifi.
Can't say about coins,
but I have changed.
You've opened my eyes.
I promise I will never
wear any accessory..
..Like belt, shoes,
jacket made of animal skin.
I wouldn't wear my own skin either.
By the way...
What's his name?
- Nagraaj?
So sweet, what a lovely name.
Anything else, or can I leave.
Please leave, please.
You must be busy.
I will talk to Nagraaj.
Come on.
Come on.
Why you..
You think you're tough.
You think you're tough.
You snakes are so boring.
The entire day all you do is..
What do you think?
I am scared of you.
Where's the teeth?
Fifi. Fifi.
The door's not opening.
Wonder why he's running?
Because Fifi is awake.
Fifi is awake.
Fifi is awake.
Forgive me.
Don't eat me.
Don't eat me.
Open the door.
High five. High five.
You can't do it.
You don't even have hands.
Come on, come on.
Come on, come on.
Let go, let go.
Save me. Save me.
You've robbed a snake.
The serpent is after us.
Open the door. Open the door.
Open the door.
Let go of my pant.
Open the door.
- Open the door.
He swallowed my hand.
Oh, Lord! Oh, Lord!
Leave me. Let go of my bum
Let go of my bum.
Its out. Its out.
You're a genius.
What is it now?
What happened?
Look down.
No! No!
Can't say about Hindi, but
your Sindhi's really nice.
What did you say?
That snake attacked me so brutally.
Come with me, I will
show you something else.
Yes, but..
- Max. Max.
Listen to me.
- No, I am..
Max, listen to me.
What is he doing here?
What is he doing here?
Let him go.
What are you doing?
Think about the plan.
Leave him.
Be grateful that
there's a wall between us.
Or your body would've been lying here.
But nothing can stop
me from killing you.
Shut up you slimy pseudopodia.
How dare you attack my son-in-law?
Shut up, Chintu.
How dare you talk to
my son-in-law like this?
You shut up, Daboo.
- Yes.
Don't you dare touch my husband.
I won't spare you.
Shut up you witch.
You rascal.
I will pull out your fake nose.
- Botox hag.
How dare you talk to
my mother that way?
Hey Bombay duck, if you say
anything about my mother..
..Then I will gorge out your eyes.
You cheapskates, we don't want
to speak to cheapskates like
You're a cheapskate,
so is your family.
Shut up.
- You shut up.
That was fun, Sweeto. Really.
My son-in-law hates his son-in-law..
..As much as I hate him.
Cheers to him.
What son-in-law, dad?
Did you ask for my consent?
I am not getting into the
hassle of marriage. Please.
But you have to get
married sooner or later.
No, dad. Don't force me into this.
You can sit with your Jolly,
and I am leaving.
Why are you so angry that
you're leaving the house?
I am not leaving the house, dad.
I told you.
LAW award function is on the cruise.
You know how important that is to me.
You can go for the event if you want.
But on one condition?
What condition?
You will have to take Jolly along.
How did my voice echo?
Such beautiful scenery.
What a beautiful ocean.
Look, madam.
If you don't mind,
let's take a love dip.
Just shut up and stop irritating me.
What's wrong with you?
It's such a big day for you?
You're going to receive an
award for protecting animals
What's wrong?
I don't think so.
Why am I telling you all this?
Can you just leave me alone?
I am already tensed.
What are you tensed about?
Tell me.
- About that slime Bobby.
I feel she'll win today's award.
I feel the same.
But...what if that doesn't happen?
- Meaning?
I mean if Henna's not
present for the award, then..
..Can't say about the broom,
but you'll sweep the awards.
But how is that possible.
Can't say about George Michael,
but have faith in me.
I have an idea.
Can't say about Birla,
but Tata to you.
Now Bobby will win.
Now...Henna will win.
Sleeping with the enemy.
Where the hell am I?
What just happened?
I don't know how I got here..
..But I know you're
responsible for it.
- Yes?
It must be you.
It's not her it's him.
It's not me it's him.
He put it on me.
Tell them the truth.
Didn't you put
chloroform on me like this?
I am getting out of here.
- Me too.
I looked everywhere, but
couldn't find anything to eat.
But don't worry, I..
- I don't care.
I am stuck on this
island because of you.
There's no way to go back.
I am hungry.
Get something to eat.
Dad has sent you to
look after me, right?
So fine.
You take care of me.
As long as I am on this
island you will find food for me.
Why are you still standing here? Go.
Get out. Go get me some food.
You still have eyes for
others things, don't you?
You want this coconut, don't you?
Try and take it.
Ten years later I've an
opportunity to settle the score.
And there's no one to stop us today.
Climb up, Max.
What are you staring at?
I saved you earlier as well,
from that girl..
..Who would fall for anyone instantly.
But there's no use telling you.
You don't have any brains.
Come on. Hit me.
Come on.
What are you staring at?
I am not hitting you.
I want to befriends.
We're back. We're back. We're back.
We're back. We're back. We're back.
Island in the front,
and resort at the back.
Excuse me. Where's food?
Where's room?
- Shut up.
Shut up.
We've eaten to our hearts content,
but who will pay the bill?
Don't worry?
Your bill.
Thank you, Mr. Jolly.
Now straight.
Fantastic. Alright girls,
take a break.
I found the towel, Jlo.
Cover yourself.
What the hell are you doing?
Cover yourself.
What do you mean by cover yourself?
Covered up girls in
Sosa's photo shoot.
Jlo. Shoot such bold photos.
I will make you rich and famous.
Have faith on Sosa.
Let's go.
Jlo. Jolly's going to
tell his father about you.
He will talk to him?
- Yes.
He takes two steps
ahead and four back.
Take one step ahead, Jolly.
Take me home.
And I will wear a
burkha all my life for you.
These two? Here?
What are you two doing here?
And how did Gabbar and Thakur..
..Turn into Jai and Veeru?
The day we vented out
our 'Sholay' (anger)..
..We became best friends.
Fantastic, guys.
But where are the girls.
We'll talk about that later,
first lets get something to eat.
Fine. Lunch is on me.
- Really? - Here you go.
Why you... my wallet.
You picked my wallet.
I had to help.
Because a known enemy is far
better than an unknown friend.
Oh my, God. What an adventurous story
Then the girls must be famished.
Then let's go tell the
girls about the resort. - Yes.
Then let's go tell those
girls about the resort.
- Come on.
Let's go. Let's go.
Why are you tiring yourself?
- Bobby.
Are you fine?
- Hey, its Henna. - Yes.
You know, Henna.
500 kilometers is made
up of 500,000 meters.
500 kilometers?
You two walked 500 kilometers?
Can't say about Ninja..
..But we've become turtles.
We crawled back 600 kilometers.
You walked 500
kilometers and came back 600?
We were lost for 100 kilometers.
We searched the entire jungle..
..And brought this for you.
What are you doing?
I wanted to see it for one last time.
Thank you.
Won't you two eat?
Now. Seeing you eat is enough for us.
That was a empty stomach burp.
Our system is a complete mess.
And look, we've become friends now.
This place has had it
effect on us as well.
And do you know what
we brought for you?
Gulab Jamun.' (Sweet)
Gulab Jamun.'
Yes, it means.
Jamun' (grapes)...and 'Gulab' (rose)
"I am in love with you."
"I am in love with you."
"Sweetheart, do you know?"
"I am in love with you."
"Sweetheart, do you know?"
"The heart's been up to mischief."
"Sweetheart, do you know?"
"When did this happen?"
"How strange is this?"
"We didn't knew."
"My hatred's turned into love."
"Sweetheart, do you know?"
"I am in love with you."
"Sweetheart, do you know?"
"Let me do something-something."
"Don't deny me today."
"Let me do some thinking."
"Give me the time."
"Tell me."
"Tell me. Tell me."
"What you've been hesitating to say."
"What's the hurry."
"This is just the beginning."
"Pain's also given me relief."
"Pain's also given me relief."
"Sweetheart, do you know?"
"I am in love with you."
"Sweetheart, do you know?"
"I am dreaming."
"About the time we spent."
"I am waiting."
"Wonder when those
moments will come back again."
"Why this distance?"
"Why this aloofness?"
"You can take me in your arms."
"First marry me."
"How do I tell you
about my condition?"
"How do I tell you
about my condition?"
"Sweetheart, do you know?"
"I am in love with you."
"Sweetheart, do you know?"
"The heart's been up to mischief."
"Sweetheart, do you know?"
"When did this happen?"
"How strange is this?"
"We didn't knew."
"My hatred's turned into love."
"Sweetheart, do you know?"
"I am in love with you."
"Sweetheart, do you know?"
You try.
Bring out the inner animal.
Watch again.
I cannot do it. How can you do it?
You've to bring out
the animal inside you.
I have a suggestion.
Give me your hand.
What a couple.
What a couple.
Uncle. Uncle.
Not uncle.
Future father-in-law.
And to turn this
future into your present..
..You will have to talk
to your father about this.
No, no, no.
Why will he talk to JD sir?
He won't.
- Hey you.
What's wrong with you?
We aren't talking to your father?
- No, sir.
Call JD sir.
- Sure, uncle. Sure.
JD sir.
I want to talk to my daddy.
Security, my phone.
Dad, your son.
- Yes, its your son speaking.
I am in love.
Yes, dad. Your son is in love.
Can't say about BBC..
..But I've got news for you.
I am in love.
You don't like my choice.
Fine, dad.
From now on I will leave
your house and live with them.
From today this is my house.
I will stay right here.
He's leaving his father.
But his father won't leave him.
You leave it to me.
Father, I am leaving you.
Son. Its okay to leave your father..
..But not his wealth.
Do you love my wealth or me?
Wealth! No, no I love you.
If you want I... I can get
you two engaged tomorrow.
Dad, I am getting engaged tomorrow.
Your son is getting
engaged tomorrow. Bye.
Dad. I am getting engaged tomorrow.
And you are no invited.
- Father-in-law.
Come, Henna.
Let's have some dinner.
What's going on?
He left his father..
..And you fixed your
daughter's engagement.
I...have a plan.
What's the emergency?
Why did you call us at midnight?
To tell you about my father JD.
If you're willing pay
us 50,000 pounds extra..
..Then tell us about your father.
I am serious, guys.
- Just a minute.
Though fake, but you
talked to JD on the phone.
At any cost, JD should never
learn about this lie. That's all.
I've known you since college.
Why are you so scared of your father?
Fine, I am scared.
I am a coward. Okay.
My father should never
know about this, okay.
Coward. Fine, let's forget it.
You will have to tell us today.
What do I tell you?
Tell us.
- Jolly, tell us.
What is it? What is the problem?
Tell us. Tell us.
- Tell us.
You want to hear,
don't you? Then listen.
No one knows about the secret..
.. That I am going to tell you today.
30 years ago, the
Gangapur area of Maharashtra..
..Was ruled by terror.
He was terror for the landlords..
..But a messiah for the villagers.
Even fear, feared him.
He was Jagga Dacoit.
Jagga Dacoit had only one weakness.
His childhood friend,
Superintendent of Police..
..Batook Patel.
When the police from 700
villages couldn't catch him..
..Then Batook Patel
asked him to surrender..
..For the sake of their friendship.
Hail Goddess!
Hail Goddess!
I gave you my word.
And Jagga can die or kill keep his word.
You did the right thing, Jagga.
You explained it to me right, Batook.
The father's had
deeds can haunt the son.
And ever son wants his
father to raise his hands..
..In order to bless him,
not to fire a gun.
I have another request.
- What?
I want our friendship
to turn into a relation.
My daughter and your son.
I give you my word.
My son will marry only your daughter.
And I will plead to the government..
..To give Jagga minimum punishment.
So that he can start a new life soon.
Hail Goddess!
Hail Goddess!
JD. Meaning Jagga Dacoit.
After serving 14
years of imprisonment..
..Jagga Dacoit has now become
London's JD with his hard work.
I hid another thing from you.
- What?
My real name isn't Jolly.
- Then?
Only a dacoit can give
his son such a name.
My real name is Jwala (Fire).
This is why.
This is why I
changed my name to Jolly.
Now look.
Don't give JD an opportunity
to turn into Jagga Dacoit.
Don't even wander
around my house, okay.
Now let's just
concentrate on one thing.
- Istanbul?
- Mission Kashmir?
- Mission Impossible?
No, no.
Mission engagement.
Mission engagement!
Yes. Yes.
Bless you.
Congratulations on
your engagement, Jolly.
Congratulations, Jolly.
Today is a very jolly day for me.
Congratulations, children.
Congratulations. Congratulations.
Bless you.
Father-in-law, can I
ask you something?
Yes, my boy.
Where are you taking
us with a blindfold?
Stupendous surprise.
I love surprises.
Come on, get down. Get down.
Don't take your blindfold off.
We are not, father-in-law.
Stand here. Stand here. Stand here.
That's it.
Now take off the blindfold.
Do you like it? Are you shocked?
Are you stunned?
Jolly. This is your engagement gift.
Jolly got engaged.
Oh, God.
Oh my, God. This is my house.
- Yes.
Oh my, God. This is my house!
This is my father,
Jagga Dacoit's house.
Dacoit Jagga.
How did you like my surprise?
There was once a price on his head..
..And now he has brought
us here for a surprise.
Uncle. Its mind-blowing from outside.
Now let's go.
- Come on.
Shocked, right?
Why are you nodding your head?
Is this your father's house?
- Oh my, God.
Hail Goddess.
Jolly, only a son can
calm his father down.
Go and emotionally handle him.
Go on. Go.
Who are you?
Try to understand.
What's there to understand?
I can see everything clearly.
He thinks Jolly got engaged.'
No one will come
between father and son.
No one will.
Sir. I will have to interfere.
Because, JD sir, I am
your son's new driver.
But also an old friend.
Your son made a mistake.
Let it be.
He's your son.
And JD sir.
Every son wants his father to
raise his hands to bless him
..not to fire a gun.
Every son wants his father to
raise his hands to bless him
..not to fire a gun.'
Seems like you have
given someone your word.
If your son's no more, then
what good is your promise?
Wow. No showdown.
Instead he's pacifying his
father with his volume down.
This is our son-in-law.
I suggest, JD sir..
..Give them a place in
your heart and home.
Try to understand.
Until then I will break this relation.
I give you my word.
And I've complete faith on my promise.
Because a devotee
of 'Bhadrakaali' (Goddess).
Hail Goddess!
Hail Goddess?
Hail Goddess?
What the son did was wrong?
But is the father doing
the right thing today?
Tell me.
A father is elder
But he has a bigger heart as well.
If you forgive your son today,
then JD will lose..
..But a father will win.
No, don't cry.
Today a father has bowed
before his son's happiness.
Children. Come, take his blessings.
Wonderful mansion. By the way,
what would be the square foot area?
No answer.
Come in, come on.
- Let's go.
Come on.
What the..
I can understand
Jolly taking blessings.
But why did the driver?
Something doesn't fit.
Something's surely wrong.
"Lend me...a kiss."
"And take Middlesex,
Trafalgar square in return."
Stop it.
Jolly got engaged and..
..The driver's
celebrating honeymoon with her.
Oh, God. Such a big mess.
I will go tell Bhau right away.
Jolly sir.
Hey. How dare you?
How could he barge in like this?
Without knocking.
- Come out.
Come on.
- What are you gesturing?
If I punch you, you'll
keep doing that all your life.
Jolly sir.
- Why don't you tell him to get out?
Hail Goddess.
Have you lost your mind?
- Jolly sir, let's go.
Get out of the room right now.
- Try to understand.
Everything will be clear.
See for yourself.
- Get out.
Next time if you
attempt anything like this..
..I will throw you out of the house.
What do I say, father?
Save me, God.
Bhau. He was inside.
See, sir.
She threatened to throw
Jolly sir out in a single day.
I've started the spark, we've to
wait until it turns into a fire.
Believe me.
I am..
Do whatever you feel is right?
- Yes, sir.
"She's taken the bait."
Oh, God. He's such a rascal.
What a mess he's..
Uncle. Uncle.
You'll be really shocked to
hear what I am going to say.
I think there's
something in your mouth.
Finish it first then talk to me.
- There's nothing.
I was saying..
..The wrong man is
hitting on your daughter.
What? - Yes, go see for
yourself if you don't believe me.
Your girl's taken the bait.
You wait.
- Yes. What wait?
You're evergreen Henna.
What the..
The right man's inside with my
daughter, you illiterate fool.
What kind of a father is he?
A groom cum driver for his daughter.
The father's a
cheapskate and so is his daughter.
I swear something's fishy.
Mind-blasting shock absorbers.
What happened?
UK's Forbes magazine..
..Has chosen Mr. JD
as Man of the Year.
Taking his firms, companies, bonds..
..Mr. JD's personal asset
accounts to five billion pounds.
Can you believe it?
- Listen. - Yes.
He's here.
- JD sir.
Good morning, JD sir. Good morning.
How are you this morning?
I've been sitting at
your home since morning..
..Like the third
umpire to see your empire.
I would like to see your companies,
office etcetera.
If you don't mind?
I am heading to the office,
you can come along.
- Patil. - Yes.
Get the car.
- Fine.
Hey, driver. Come here!
Why are they both coming together?
Driver, get the car quickly.
Jolly, you will come along, won't you?
Papa, coffee.
- Why are you serving me coffee?
Give it to my future son-in-law.
One coffee, two people.
Now let's watch who she
serves the coffee too.
Come, come on.
Give it.
She is heading towards you.
We'll be caught.
Serve coffee to Jolly.
Come on.
Coffee. Coffee. Coffee. Coffee.
A burnt man got burnt further.
Good shot, son-in-law.
You're playing beautifully.
It's entirely my fault.
I always thought
tennis is a two-player game.
But you are playing beautifully.
Please, carry one. Carry on.
I am getting a call, Jolly.
But you continue playing.
Carry on.
- I wish you were here today, Daboo.
Do you know where my daughter is?
JD's house.
- JD?
Yes, JD.
But right now in front of my eyes..
- There's darkness, isn't it?
Wont you say "Superb" now?
Didn't I say, "Wait and watch".
I will get the richest son-in-law.
Now you know what your stature is.
If JD's son is Chintu's son-in-law,
then who is he?
- Yes.
That's enough for today.
Game set and match.
Come, I will take you on along drive.
"Papa plays the band."
"Papa plays the band."
"Papa plays the band."
Trouble. Trouble. Trouble.
Hide me. Hide me.
Jolly. Where are we?
Can't say about Slumdog..
..But this is a millionaire's house.
- Where are you going?
I'll go handle Jagga.
Don't worry. Go on.
Whose house?
- Whose?
- Whose?
- Must be someone's.
This is JD's house.
This is JD's house.
JD's house. JD's house.
Jagga Dacoit's house.
Jagga Dacoit's son Jolly.
Jolly's house, that means..
My house. This is my house.
I haven't been home for
a long time, so I forgot.
Did someone change the color?
The color hasn't changed jolly has.
- What are you saying?
Should I go? No, no.
Hey. He's Chintu's
son-in-law's servant.
Hey you, come here.
Why, why are you moving to and fro?
- Should I go? No, no.
Come here.
Coming, coming.
What are you doing here?
Sir, your neighbor's
son-in-law fired me.
But thanks to Jolly sir who
gave me a job with JD sir.
Glory to Jolly sir.
Wow. Superb. Superb.
- Yes.
So he's real Jolly.
Real Jolly? You doubted me.
No, no, never.
Come on, let's go.
- Let's go. Let's go.
Not back.
- Then?
Inside the house to meet JD sir.
JD's hereto see you himself.
I've understood everything.
I will fulfill the duty of a father.
You got engaged.
But I will get you married.
And till they get married
your all welcome to stay here.
Come, dear.
I am very happy, JD sir.
I am really very happy
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
How did this happen? did you do all this?
I went to JD sir and said..
.."JD sir, Jolly's friend and
her fiancee are waiting outside".
"His father is
against their marriage."
And I said "if you let
Jolly's friend stay for few days..
"..In your house and heart,
then Jolly will be really happy.."
"..and pleased, and
according to my planning.."
"..Henna will be out of this house."
- Wow.
But, Sunny, I can't believe this.
You convinced dacoit Jagga.
- Yes.
It was so easy that I
pulled it off with my left hand.
Left hand
Leave me.
Leave me.
- Please, sir.'
Leave me.
- I won't let go.'
Please accept your son's friend sir.
For the sake of Goddess Bhadrakaali.
Hail Goddess Bhadrakaali.
Hail Goddess Bhadrakaali.
Where are you lost?
Everything's set now.
Nothing's set yet.
Daboo and Chintu are here..
..To get their daughter
married to JD's only son.
Oh, no.
That means if Daboo and
Chintu come face to face..
Oh, no.
- Oh my, God.
What are you doing here?
Why are you imitating me?
What are you doing here?
I am in my relative JD's house.
There you go again.
I am in my relative JD's house.
You terrorizing octopus.
Trying to spread your tentacles here.
What are you doing here?
- Security. - Security.
Security. Take him away.
- Calm down.
Calm down father-in-law.
You want to know what
that imposter is doing here.
I will tell you how
this Chintu came here.
Actually, that muscleman..
..The one who's with the imposter.
Do you know who he is?
- No.
He's my brother.
- Brother?
Not real. He's an illegitimate son.
- Yes.
Illegitimate? Whose?
Our maid Simi.
Where? Where?
Look down, not up.
She's his mother.
Oh, no.
Such a big..
JD sir had such a little affair.
"0 girl, you're mine."
"0 girl, you're mine."
"0 girl, you're mine."
"0 girl, you're mine."
"0 girl, you're mine."
"0 girl, you're mine."
"0 girl, you're mine."
Jolly, you've given
me such a jolly news.
Give me a hug.
Superb! Sixer! That's great.
That's great.
All my life he
taunted me as illegitimate.
And now he'll be branded as one.
Superb. Superb.
Every doctor wants
his son to be a doctor.
Every actor wants
his son to be a actor.
Destiny gave an illegitimate son..
..A illegitimate son-in-law.
The legitimate one ended up
with the illegitimate one..
..And the illegitimate one,
with the legitimate.
Bravo, son-in-law.
Its bad.
- Really, it's really bad.
We're helpless before destiny.
- Yes.
We're just puppets in its hands.
Now that they're engaged,
what can we do?
Let's go with the flow.
So what if the
son-in-law has such a big flaw.
Let's go with the flow.
My sympathies are with you. Cheer up.
His sympathies are with me?
He imitated me again.
Look, didn't I tell you?
That's where he will be.
Come on, I will make you successful.
Leave her hand.
What are you doing here?
Go and live happily
with both your wives.
Look, Jlo. This is
our personal matter.
And a misunderstanding
about the two wives.
Tell her Jai.
- He's absolutely right..
I don't want to hear your nonsense.
Just leave.
- Jlo, at least listen to us. Please.
Jai. Better get lost.
Or else you will get hit so
badly that you wont be able
Jolly. - If you weren't in
this condition then I...I..
You know what I had done.
I would've picked him up like this..
..And dropped you like this.
And then..
Rascal, you're fortunate
that you can't stand up.
Otherwise I would've
made cream-pie out of you.
And then I would've
smashed you like this.
Like this, this, this.
- Jolly.
Don't do it. Don't do it.
Hey you, you don't know who I am.
Rascal. Why you..
You don't know who I am.
Oh no.
Scoundrel. Why didn't
you tell me earlier?
I was telling you "Don't
hit him, don't hit him".
Couldn't you say it in Hindi?
Didn't you speak in Marathi
when you were scared? - Yes.
I spoke in Sindhi when I was scared.
Why the wheelchair?
Why walk, when you can ride?
My name is Sosa.
And I have appointed these
bodyguards for moments like these.
Come on, baby.
Sorry, sorry. Sosa.
Wait, wait.
Now pick up that table,
and smash it on them.
You, you, you.
Kill him.
Now who is he?
Why are they making
an entry one by one?
Relax. I will take care of them.
What now?
Those who are blessed by
God can do impossible things.
Kill him.
Jlo. Look.
We brought two fake
Jollys to avenge Jai's father.
Everything was a lie.
Let me explain you.
They are their girlfriends. Not mine.
I love you.
Are you fine?
- Yes, Jlo. I love you.
But I am still angry with you.
And I can forgive you
on only one condition.
I accept all your conditions.
I accept. I accept. I accept.
- What are you saying?
First ask her the condition.
- Yes.
It can't be bigger than the
problem we're currently in.
I accept. Done.
Fine. Then take me to your house.
- What?
- What?
Jolly, this is my condition now.
I don't want to take any risk now.
I am going with you, to your home.
And I will stay with you 2417.
I can say any lie you want me to.
But I am coming with
you to your house.
Your driver got engaged.
Is this a true story or a new story?
This is a love story.
We just need your blessings.
Now you want him to
bless drivers as well?
- Why?
What's wrong with drivers?
Don't they have a heart?
I am devotee of Bhadrakaali.
I've learnt only one thing.
I will bless them.
Then you'll allow us to stay
here for a few days too, right?
It's a wedding
atmosphere in the house.
More the merrier.
But, hold. I will
give my blessings too.
But in a traditional style.
- Hold.
Come, take his blessings.
Bless you.
- Yes.
Come on.
God bless. God bless. God bless.
Where did he go?
- He left.
He...he...left. Yes.
That's okay.
Take his blessings.
May you prosper. Like me.
Next year... may you
be blessed with a child.
Come, let me show you
the baby making room.
What a hell?
What the hell is
happening in this house?
I can't understand.
What kind of a father-in-law is he?
He's blessing his own son-in-law... have a child from another woman.
This is as fishy as a
vegetarian eating fish.
Very fishy.
Let me find out.
Right now.
"Do you want me?"
"Do you need me?"
"Wanna love me?"
"Come to me, baby."
"Right now."
"Right now."
"Do you want me?"
"Do you need me?"
"Wanna love me?"
"Come to me, baby."
"Right now."
"Right now."
"I will spend my whole life with you."
"In any condition I will
spend my whole life with you."
"I can even lay down my life for you."
"Do you want me?"
"Do you need me?"
"Wanna love me?"
"Come to me, baby."
"Right now."
"Right now."
"it's a beautiful moment."
"Here's the honey, and the moon too."
"You're my summer."
"You're my monsoon too."
"My intentions are to
blow out the lights."
"Fill my heart up with your love."
"Everywhere I looked I saw only you."
"Do you want me?"
"Do you need me?"
"Wanna love me?"
"Come to me, baby."
"Right now."
"Right now."
"Do you...want me?"
"Do you...need me?"
"The mood's romantic."
"And you're with me."
"The heart's mischievous."
"The ambiance is young."
"Your pranks makes
my heart beat faster."
"Makes my entire body shiver."
"Let me hide you in my arms."
"Do you want me?"
"Do you need me?"
"Wanna love me?"
"Come to me, baby."
"Right now."
"Right now."
"I will spend my whole life with you."
"In any condition I will
spend my whole life with you."
"I can even lay down my life for you."
"Do you want me?"
"Do you need me?"
"Wanna love me?"
"Come to me, baby."
"Right now."
"Right now."
"Right now."
"Right now."
Good morning.
Good morning.
Good morning, JD sir.
Terrific house.
I listened to you and turned
my house into a guesthouse.
I feel like slapping
you below your ear...
No, no. not below the
ear but Behind his ear.
There's soap left behind Badal's ear.
Clean it please.
My Jaggu's so nice.
He sat down for a bath.
The stool slipped from underneath him.
Jaggu started laughing.
My Batook's so nice.
He sat down for a bath.
The stool slipped
from underneath him...
Batuk started laughing.
You haven't forgotten
our childhood shenanigans.
Hail Sri Krishna.
Your friendship
doesn't let me, Batook.
Hail Bhadrakaali.
Then you wouldn't
have forgotten that...
...we promised each other that
we will get our children married.
Yes, I...
Actually, nowadays...
No, no, not now but tomorrow.
Your SP friend will take his jeep...
No, no, catch a
plane and come to London.
I am bringing my
daughter along as well.
On the first flight, okay.
Send your son to pick me up.
I have never seen him.
But I will recognize him using
my years of police experience.
Then your son and my
daughter will be together.
Why you...
Trust me one last time
like you did before.
I will take care of
these temporary relatives.
And the permanent
one that's arriving...
...will be received by your son.
How will you do that?
Hail Bhadrakaali.
Come on, Parul, walk faster.
I am Batuk Patel.
You're Jolly, right?
- No. He's Jolly sir.
Then who are you?
- What?
He's your driver.
Maaro' driver.
- 'Maaro' driver?
I haven't done anything. Don't hit me.
In Gujarati 'my
driver' means 'Maaro driver'.
And she's my daughter Parul.
Isn't your name Jai?
- No.
What's yes, no.
- Of course.
Jai's a short form.
Jai for... Jai for Jolly.
Yes. Jai for Jolly
Do you know him?
- Yes.
Very good. That's great.
- Yes.
Take the luggage.
- Yes.
Please come, come, come.
You need to keep him in control.
Now I get it.
You said that your daddy has
selected someone else for you.
And you would want to marry her only.
All this time you knew
that the girl was me.
What a surprise, Jai.
I mean Jolly.
- Yes.
Really, what a surprise.
Come on, I want to see your house.
- Me too.
"Papa plays the band."
"Papa plays the band."
"Papa plays the band."
I am so happy to see you, so happy.
I am so happy.
Why do you look worried?
- No, no, not worried...
I mean...
I get it. I get it.
You are thinking...
...when this friendship will
turn into us becoming in-laws.
Right? Right?
Don't worry. Consider it done.
Jolly and Parul
already know each other.
Who is standing besides Jolly?
That's my driver?
Driver, did you eat?
You'll keep my family and me
locked in the room for two days?
Like I said.
Our astrologer has said...
...if you keep the family
locked up for two days... makes the family grow fonder.
- I won't follow this
Can't say about the rites...
...but you will have
to follow this ritual.
He's outside.
What are you doing outside?
- He's... JD. JD.
We're in-laws now.
But we are his in-laws.
You heard it wrong.
He's saying that they are friends.
Who are the background artists?
They...are family friends.
Distant relative.
That's why they are
standing to far away.
Let me show you your room.
Let's go. Let's go.
Let them see their room, and
I will show you the bathroom
There's a fire burning here, JD.
But since I met you
my heart is at peace.
But why are you so worried?
No, I...
...Be careful of your tongue, JD.
It's worth a lot.
Your entire life
changed because of that.
Now your son's getting
married also because of your word.
And you raised your son so well.
I must admit.
Because these days the boys
in London are very advanced.
They bring their bride home...
...without the
consent of their parents.
Listen to me.
Five days later it's
the 15th of August.
Lets fix Jolly's marriage.
Fine, Jolly's marriage is
fixed FOR the 15th of august
Marriage is fixed the 15th. Yes.
For Chintu Sunny is Jolly.
For Daboo Max is Jolly.
For Batuk Jai is Jolly.
And for JD Jolly is Jolly.
According to Chintu, Sunny with
sit with his daughter the marriage dais.
But according to JD,
it's going to be Jolly.
According to Daboo Max will
sit with his daughter Bobby.
...In the marriage dais.
And according to Batook Jolly
will sit with his daughter..
...In the marriage dais.
But Jolly wants to marry Jlo.
Why are you trying yourself?
Why are you trying yourself?
You've tired us.
You've caused this entire confusion.
Can't say about Brad but
we're in this pit because of you.
Because me. Because me.
Fight with this problem.
Why are you fighting
amongst yourselves?
You've finally become
friends after such a long time.
Just a minute.
If we turn JD and
Batuk against each other...
...then a lot of our
problems can be solved.
But how is that possible?
They both are best of friends.
- Yes.
What were we?
- Friends.
We were friends as well.
But we turned
enemies because of a girl.
If we can get a beautiful girl...
...between those two old
HAGS then just watch the fun.
Hey, you want to bring a girl
between my father and his friend?
Are you crazy? This is right.
And anyway, they both are widowers.
Why you... who are
you calling a widower?
So what?
- What do you want to say?
You want to get a girl
between these two old men.
Not a girl, but a beauty.
She always nails her target,
her name is Anarkali.
I even forgot my chandelier for you
Batuk sir has
organized a small party."
I even forgot my earrings for you
Lets go down for a while. Or
else Batuk uncle will feel bad.
Let's go. "I forgot everything,
just for you."
"Just for you."
"Just for you."
"So what happened?"
"Leaving my Salim's alley."
"Leaving my Salim's alley."
"Anarkali's of to the disco."
"Leaving my Salim's alley."
"Anarkali's of to the disco."
"You made me restless."
"Anarkali's of to the disco."
"There she goes."
"Anarkali's of to the disco."
"Rock the night."
"Burn the floor." "Hold me tight."
"Anarkali, rock the floor tonight."
"A tormentor had me
pinned in the wall."
"He tried to imprison my heart."
"I love freedom."
"I don't want to stay
imprisoned any more."
"I won't endure his torments any more."
"Teach me the hip-hop."
"Top the beat."
"Play some trance."
"Give me a chance."
"Let me sway."
"Let me sway."
"Leaving my Salim's alley."
"Leaving my Salim's alley."
"Anarkali's of to the disco."
"You made me restless."
"Anarkali's of to the disco."
"There she goes."
"Anarkali's of to the disco."
"Anarkali's of to the disco."
"Hit it. Hit it. Hit it."
love-story...will be really famous."
"Your beauty...killed me."
Our plan is a hit.
Our plan is a hit.
"Give me some attention."
"Get rid of my tension."
"Your body's like fire."
"Your touch is electrifying."
"You're like a bombshell."
"My heart's burning too."
"Soothe my heart."
"Make this beautiful mistake."
"You're the cure for every pain."
"Leaving my Salim's alley."
"Leaving my Salim's alley."
"Anarkali's of to the disco."
"You made me restless."
"Anarkali's of to the disco."
"There she goes."
"Anarkali's of to the disco."
"There she goes."
"Anarkali's of to the disco."
"Anarkali's of to the disco."
Stand quietly.
She was with me last night.
She was asking about you.
She wants to meet you, sir.
If you say such nonsense...
...then I will slap you.
I will meet her. Never.
Then she'll come see you.
Stop blabbering your nonsense.
That's what she was saying, not me.
Fine, I will tell Sarla that
you don't want to meet her.
Who...who is Sarla?
She calls herself Anarkali
for this ruthless world.
Here real name is Sarla.
But Sarla was Jolly's mother's name.
- No.
Jolly's mother?
- Yes.
- Yes.
You must meet her now.
Please meet her. I insist.
Anarkali. Was asking about me.
- Yes.
What are you saying?
- Yes. She was asking about me?
Give me her phone number.
- Right away.
I will give you her phone number.
Let it be.
- Why?
Doesn't seem nice.
- Why?
I am here for my daughter's marriage.
How will it look?
Are you...are you sure?
Fine, then I will tell Hetal.
Who is Hetal?
- Anarkali.
She calls herself Anarkali
for this ruthless world.
Her real name Hetal
is on the passport.
Why? What's wrong?
Parul's late mother's
name was Hetal as well.
What a coincidence.
Then big brother you
must meet Hetal once.
Hetal. Hetal.
Hetal. Hetal.
JD sir! You! Here!
I love fools.
- What?
Come, sit. Sit. Come.
Oh, God!
You...wanted to meet me. Why?
Even I don't have an
answer to that question.
But yes, I did want to meet you once.
You dance... I mean
you sing very well.
You too, JD sir.
J... JD.
Though a little, but
you danced really well.
I can't dance.
Last night the boys
gave me a few drinks..
..So my legs started
swaying to the beats, Hetal.
Sorry. Anarkali.
Oh Batook.
It sounds so nice when you say Hetal.
Just once, for my sake,
call my real name.
It sounds so nice to
hear you say Sarla.
You are so nice.
I wonder why people try
to demean wealthy people.
Who? Who are you talking about?
No, no.
Actually your friend
Batook really likes you.
But when I said that I want to
meet you he straightaway ref
He said that if I meet you..
..Then my image and
reputation will be ruined.
Because...there's a
shameful past connected with you.
Shameful past? Mine?
Batook was saying
that you were a dacoit.
And you were lying that
you were a feared dacoit.
JD was saying that
you spread a rumor..
..That you are a
retired police commissioner.
He was saying that you were a coward.
That you were just a
low-down constable.
He's never even killed a rat.
You would steal loose
change from blind beggars.
Today you've lost
respect in my eyes, Jagga.
You have.
We all know who has lost respect?
Today you proved one thing, JD.
You can't change a
person if you change his name.
You're the one who has changed.
I feel disgusted to
call you my friend.
You broke all old
relations to make a new one.
So today I reject your
son's proposal. - Papa.
Who are you to reject it?
I reject your daughter's proposal.
Jolly. You won't marry Parul..
..But your original choice Henna.
Are you happy?
Let it be.
I will get my daughter Parul
married in a respected family.
Parul. I will go get
my luggage right now.
I cannot live with you, Jai.
I can't live without you.
Even I can't live without you, dear.
But these two..
- Try to understand, sir.
The father's good for nothing.
And so is the daughter.
She's flirting around with the driver.
Batook's daughter is having
an affair with the driver.
And he was looking for
a respectable family.
Give them your blessings.
And you will get your revenge.
Think, do, take your revenge.
On the 15th august..
- Listen here. it's for you.
These two will get married as well.
Thank you, uncle.
What are you doing there?
Come on.
Come on.
Good day.
Move aside.
15th august.
Prepare for Jolly's marriage.
- Yes!
Come along.
Everyone's father knows
except for papa Ranjeet.
Ranjeet, I am confused.
Tell me your problem.
I love Derek. But I also love Andrew.
Who should I marry?
If you choose A,
you'll definitely miss B.
And if you choose B, then A.
I think you should go for C.
Because long time no see.
- I didn't get it.
Let me explain.
Flirt with me.
By the way, I am free after nine.
Place is yours...or mine?
I will sleep over it.
Sleep over me.
Excuse me.
- Squeeze me.
Shut up.
Come here.
Sunny. Hi, Max.
Max. how are you my boy, how are you?
Can't say about Twentieth century..
..But you're the real fox.
Fox. Fox.
Now return the fox's
watch that you just stole.
No joking around with papa Ranjeet.
No joking around with papa Ranjeet.
- Sorry.
Sorry. Sorry.
Look, son. You're still a novice.
But, uncle. Sunny's just like you.
Max. he can't be like me
by just saying ayee aye.
And no dog can hunt only by barking.
You know.
He's hasn't laid his
hand on any girl yet.
- I am ashamed of him.
- Yes.
Sunny, is this true?
You're insulting me
in front of my friend.
I am the one who's feeling insulted.
Papa, you'll be proud of me tomorrow.
We'll be laying our hands on
the real deal tomorrow. - Yes.
We'll marry the girls and take
all their money and leave them.
Papa, that marriage dais
will be our ATM counter.
And the marriage
certificate will be our blank cheque.
I taught you swindling,
cheating, stealing.
But I never taught you
to break anyone's trust.
You two will marry those
girls and then leave them.
Break their trust.
Never break anyone's trust.
Son, many girls came and
went in papa Ranjeet's life.
But he married only the one he loved.
And that was your mother.
Think about it.
I heard that anyone falls in love.
I feel we've fallen in love too.
Max. Can't say about the rapist..
..But my father did
his job as a therapist.
Let's go.
Bloody cheaters.
You toyed with our feelings.
We never want to see your faces again.
Jai, Parul.
You want to marry her, don't you?
But son...
will you hurt Mr. Kapoor for that?
Avenge my insult?
Is this what I taught you, son?
Papa is always right.
Who are they, son? - Papa,
they are my friends Sunny and Max.
Hello, uncle.
- Hello, son. - Hello.
How are you feeling now?
- Fine, son.
I thought that after your coma..
..Your life would come to a full stop.
Full stop?
Don't be so kind too him.
That enough.
Jai. Keep this money.
We cannot do your job now.
- Uncle, we're leaving now.
Have you filled an organ donor card?
Come on. What are you..
We thought over it.
What you two did with us was wrong.
But you could've done worse.
And whatever you two did..
..At least it brought us close
And maybe tomorrow our daddies..
..Who are bitter enemies
can be come together again.
With that hope we're
here to say something.
Will you marry me?
Can't say about Daler..
..But I have adorned your
name's Mehendi (henna)..
We will get married, won't we?
Are you crazy?
How will we get married?
Did you forget?
- He's right.
So many marriage daises.
So many Jollys.
And so many fathers.
"Why are you tiring yourself?
"Why are you tiring yourself"
My father's amongst them all.
The mother of all fathers.
Jaggu dacoit.
And tomorrow we're
all getting married.
Welcome, welcome.
Foreigner Fafda. Duke of Wellington.
Hello congratulations
Welcome, welcome.
Duke sir. I have drunk
a lot of your lemonade.
Shocking Sabudana. Prince Charles!
Prince Charles!
It's a very joyous, pleasure... attend the UK man
of the Year son's wedding.
It's an honour, JD.
- Sir. The bride's father. Sir, sir.
Make yourself comfortable.
Make yourself comfortable.
Take care.
Watch ahead.
There'll be bigger
personalities arriving.
Mamma mia. Pappa pia.
Normally climax
comes after the marriage.
But here the climax is
along with the marriage.
Flowers. Flowers. Shower it.
JD sir. JD sir.
You're very fortunate to
have got a chance to meet me.
I am joking.
Kapoor and company, where is
my commission? my commission
"Beauties, come and sing with me."
Excuse me, London's waiter.
Go get me a cold drink.
Hey horrendously dressed fool.
Who let you in?
Don't you know Aakhri Pasta?
- No. No.
I run London's most
successful marriage bureau.
For cartoons like you
I've even started a
mobile marriage bureau
Press 1 for engagement.
Press 2 for marriage.
And to get married again...
Press your first wife's neck.
I am joking.
Hey, Bombay duck, come here.
Your father must have
taken one look at..
.. Your pregnant mother's stomach...
...and said to her
"This is our child, right".
And she must have replied yes.
And then she must have
turned to the driver and said...
..."I am joking".
Mamma mia.
Go get me a cold drink.
The guests have arrived.
The auspicious time is passing by.
Let's get on with the marriage,
come on. - Come.
Call the brides.
Now call the grooms.
What is happening here?
Show us your face at least.
- What is it?
According to father I
am marrying Henna...
...and you're marrying Jio.
What now?
- Why are you tiring yourself
I've made all the arrangements.
What is this going on now?
Priest, begin the ceremony.
Stop this marriage right now
Great, JD.
First you break our friendship.
Then our break their relation.
Then you make my daughter elope...
...and then get him
married to your son.
You're still a dacoit.
This man who you all know as JD...
...what was his reality?
Do you know who he is?
He's a dacoit from
Gangapur area in India.
Murderer. Plunderer.
Oh, my.
JD a dacoit.
A bandit.
Jagga Dacoit.
Who told you that your
daughter is marrying my son?
What's there to see or hear?
Look, JD's son Jolly.
He's not my son.
He's the driver.
JD has only one legitimate son.
And everyone knows who he is.
We just need to uncover his face.
- No, dad, please.
He's not my son either.
He's not his real son.
His real son is there.
We just need to uncover his face.
You fool. This is his son.
He is not my son either.
He's not.
Then who is JD's son?
I am JD's real son. Jolly
I will explain how and
why all this happened.
Enough! That's enough!
If they're bad, then
what are you, papa?
If they aren't worthy of
being called your son-in-law...
...are you worthy of
being called a father?
You set out to get your daughter...
...married to JD's son.
But before that did you even
bother to ask for our approval?
You only used your daughter like toys.
You just wound the
keys and let them loose.
Go on, fall in love.
And when we did, you said "Let's go".
I feel ashamed to call you father.
If you want to slap
someone then slap me.
All my life I called
you illegitimate...
...instead of calling you brother.
I always humiliated the
one I should have respected.
If I wouldn't have bothered about
...legitimate and illegitimate,
then I might not have see this day.
Daboo. Chintu couldn't understand
the important of relationships.
Not at all.
Forgive me, please.
Chintu. Don't blame yourself.
Don't forget, I am your elder brother.
I left no opportunity to malign you.
Forgive me, brother.
Forgive me.
Mamma mia, mamma mia.
What a happy ending.
Let me take a picture.
Everybody say cheese.
Oh, God!
Jagga Dacoit!
Jagga Dacoit! Jagga Dacoit!
Dacoit Jagga is back again.
Now you are all in trouble.
You've compelled dacoit
Jagga to awaken again.
The first person that I
will shoot with this gun is...
Jagga Dacoit!
Jagga Dacoit!
Dacoit. Jagga Dacoit!
Why are you tiring yourself?
No, no, no.
Hail Goddess.
He's gone crazy!
Run! Run!
Come out.
You have awakened Jagga.
Even the police from 700
villages were scared of Jagga.
What do you think?
You're gonna be buried
into the ground alive.
Why are you scared?
You're time is near. Bhau.
What is this?
Jolly's here, Jolly's there.
How many Jolly's?
Now face your father's gun.
No, listen to me.
- Bhau.
Max. Relax.
The dacoits have surrounded you.
So its better that you surrender.
Can't say about John...
...but Jagga won't take mercy on you.
Are you suffering from acidity?
The boy's taken the bait.
What the...
Where did he go?
Bhau. Bhau.
Behind you.
The gun's jammed.
Hide. Hide.
JD respects me a lot.
I will go and make him alright.
Give me a white handkerchief.
I know that you won't shoot me.
Because you respect me.
Save me.
The fool.
He's gone crazy.
I could've been dead had
the bullet hit me. Rascal.
Jagga uncle. Jagga uncle.
At least listen to your
friend Prince Charles.
Stop, JD. Stop.
You're not in Gangapur.
You're tax paying member
of the British Empire.
In the name of queen and country...
...put down your weapon.
Mamma mia, Camilla.
Come out.
Where are you running?
Sunny. Are you okay?
- Sunny.
Who do you think you are?
First you put JD to
sleep and awakened Jagga.
Now you have put Jagga to
sleep and awakened JD again.
A hug.
Dad your fine right? Superb. Superb.
That was great.
When everything's ending happily...
...then why don't you
adopt my son-in-law.
Just give him half
your wealth. Only half.
Brother, now you are dubbing my lines.
He's a good boy.
Adopt him and give him the wealth...
Shut up!
Today all three fake
Jolly's will get married.
But you won't get
married to this Jolly. - Why?
She will marry Jwala.
Jwala? Ewww
Cut it. Superb.
Give me a hug.
The wall's falling down.
Get ice.
Not like this.
JD sir, you're just..
What else did he say?
Take it to that length.
"You're an idiot, you're a fool."
I can see your nose.
"Whatever, whatever we do."
Cut it.
"Papa plays the band."
How will we get married?
Shut up, Bobby.
- You shut up.
Look who I brought along.
Papa, she's your daughter-in-law.
Papa, give her a hug sideways.
"But papa's sitting on
our dreams like dynamite."
"But papa's sitting on
our dreams like dynamite."
Driver. Take this.
Have groundnuts.
And action.
Mamma mia.
I love you.
But I'm still angry with you.
- Why?
Anoint him with the whiskey.
Cut it.
Sajid Nadiadwala.
- Nadiad, come on.
Get up, get up, your famous step.
"Papa plays the band."
"Papa plays the band."
Your movie's a hit,
the result's are out.
You don't have to cry over it.
Everyone's out.
Those days are gone.
It's the age of multiplexes.
Its all bottles and things now.
What's bottle got to do with this?