Housefull 5 (2025) Movie Script

Open the door!
Help! Help me!
Somebody help me!
Someone please save me.
No No No
Open the door!
This ship will sail from Newcastle
to Scotland through British Seaways.
I am reporting to you
from the Tilsbury Port.
And behind me stands
Mr. Ranjeet Dobriyal's private cruise ship...
who is the 7th richest man in the UK.
He's about to celebrate
his 100th birthday on this cruise ship!
I've heard that a bunch
of Bollywood celebrities
and VIPs are coming to the party,
and it's all being organized
by his Board of Directors.
Hello?
Sir, Ranjeet sir just
had a heart attack!
The doctor has asked everyone
to come to his room immediately.
Papa, this isn't right.
This cannot be happening.
It's your 100th birthday!
100 is no age to die.
Dev sir, he'll be perfectly fine.
Oh no, Mama Mia!
Papa! No!
No! No! No, Ranjeet sir, please!
Please, don't leave me, sir!
Everything I am today,
I owe to you, sir!
Please, we want you back.
Please... please, don't go.
No, sir! No, sir! No, sir!
Water!
I'll be damned! His eyes opened!
- Water!
- What?
- Water!
- Water?!
Water, doctor! Get some water!
- Just get whiskey or anything for that matter!
- Hurry up!
- Get some water, quick!
- I'm getting it!
- Get some water, you idiot!
- Here you go.
Oh, my God... let me check.
He's gone.
- I'm sorry, he's gone.
- No.
Hey, say it.
No.
No, Ranjeet sir, no.
Please don't leave me, sir.
Everything I am today,
I owe it to you, sir.
We want you back, sir.
Don't go, sir.
No, sir. No, sir. No, sir.
Aye!
Papa!
Papa!
Can you believe my boss?
How many comebacks
is this guy going to have?
Doctor, do something!
Okay, one second, one second.
- What are you doing? Do something!
- Hurry up!
He's gone.
Are you sure?
200% sure.
He's gone.
Hey!
No. No, Ranjeet sir, no.
Please don't leave me.
Everything I am today,
I owe to you.
We want you back, sir.
Please don't go, sir.
Sir?
Please... move.
Aye!
I don't even know how...
it all just happened so suddenly!
What should we do, Dev sir?
Should we cancel the party?
No, we'll have to give a reason.
And as soon as the news
of Ranjeet sir's death comes out,
the stock market will crash.
That won't happen.
Because we'll announce
that Dev is the successor
at the same time.
The situation will be under control.
Before announcing Dev's name,
we should get a legal opinion,
don't you think?
Captain, call Lucy.
Okay.
Lucchi's here! Lucchi's here! (wanton)
Gucci, she's not Lucchi, she's Lucy!
Ranjeet sir's lawyer.
So before we move ahead...
We all have to focus
on one very important thing.
Where do my glasses go every
time I actually need them?
Before Ranjeet sir passed away,
he had a holographic will made.
Everyone, please take your positions.
Aye!
Ranjeet sir!
Thanks For turning me on, Lucy.
- Captain Sameer!
- Yes sir.
Remember one thing:
whether you're driving a ship
or a rickshaw,
a driver is always a driver.
Driver, bring the car.
- Aakhri Pasta!
- Mama Mia!
And Batuk Patel!
- How are you?
- I'm good, sir. How are you?
Want water
or something else to drink?
Oh, the things you've both done
for me...
I'm practically ready to clap...
by smashing your faces
between my hands!
- Aye!
- And you...
Do you remember
that night on the beach?
Oh, my God!
What a night, Lucy!
I can't forget that.
And Maya darling...
do you remember
that day on the beach?
Sandwich!
I see!
Look at you, all shy now!
And Dev,
you're my second wife's son,
but still, you're my son.
And I love you very much...
Gentlemen, now the time has come...
to know the name
of the one who truly deserves
my empire.
And his name is...
Jolly!
Jolly!
- Jolly?
- Who is Jolly?
Jolly.
Jolly is the son of my first wife,
Shakuntala Devi.
I feel like paying my homage to her.
Shaku!
Dev, your brother is arriving
on my birthday.
at precisely 3 o'clock.
So, son, now it's your duty to make sure
he gets what's rightfully his.
Lucy, if Jolly fails to show up,
all my wealth will be divided
among these members.
Now, everyone, keep banging...
- What?
- What?
I mean keep clapping...
Because Jolly is coming!
Aye!
Jolly? Where did this Jolly come from?
I don't understand this.
Who is this Jolly? Heir?
Is this some kind of joke?
We have to figure out how to stop him
from getting the empire.
Didn't you hear him?
My brother, the heir
to this family, is coming.
It's time for a grand celebration!
- I'll cross all the limits in your love
- Oh girl, you're mine!
- Do you want me?
- Oh boy, you're mine!
Uh-uh, not the red one.
- No, no, only for VVIPs.- Oh girl, you're mine!
Do you need me?
- Go.- You're mine!
Oh boy, you're mine!
You are an idiot, you are a fool,
you don't have any knowledge too.
You haven't reached the age where
you can sit and argue with me too.
Whatever, whatever we do, do, do...
Keep the volume down,
Papa's got me dancing to his tunes.
He himself becomes the principal too.
He makes the rule to keep quiet too.
Hush, hush, hush...
He's always shouting that...
Seal up Ranjeet sir's floor, now.
Make sure no guests get to that floor.
I wish he keeps sleeping
on and on like Kumbhkarana,
So that we can smoothly
do what we wanna.
What if we get separated
and compelled to never meet,
This thought itself scares
to me to my wits.
Papa's got me dancing to his tunes.
- Lower the volume
- He's always shouting that...
Make the house full!
Captain, hi, can you hear me?
- Yes sir
- Okay, as soon as Jolly arrives,
blow the ship's horn,
and we'll meet you
at the Caravan Restaurant.
- Okay?
- Okay.
Don't forget. Okay.
Captain will only blow the ship's horn
when Jolly arrives.
My lovely Gucci, my darling Gucci.
- Guys,
- Pay attention!
even if Jolly really does show up,
- how will we know it's him?
- You're right.
Bedi sir, I almost forgot to mention...
along with the hologram,
there's a note from Ranjeet sir as well.
It contains a lot of information
about Jolly.
Jolly is a lefty.
I'm so sorry.
Lucy!
Good thing she isn't Pushpa,
or she wouldn't bend...
Uh, can you hurry up
and read it please?
- Yes, yes, yes, yes.
- Can you hurry up?
Why isn't there a zoom option
on this paper?
Number Two:
there's a burn mark on his buttocks.
- Where?
- Like here?
- Oh.
- Like here?
I don't know exactly where, but...
Okay, fine. What's next?
Yeah.
He is married to a foreigner.
- Oh.
- Oh.
I'm so sorry.
This doesn't happen usually...
Oh God, what is happening to me?
Okay. Thank you.
That's enough.
- Get your hands off me.
- Thank you so much!
You may leave now. Okay?
- Guys, it's 3:20 PM.
- Hmm.
- Jolly hasn't arrived yet.
- Yes.
And I don't think he's going
to come. Okay?
Okay.
- Jolly is here!
- Boss is here!
Come on, come on, come on,
come on, little parrot.
Come on, little parrot.
Welcome!
- Greetings.
- Greetings.
I'm Jalabuddin.
Julaabuddin?
Jalabuddin,
or you can call me, Jolly.
Welcome, welcome!
I'm Shiraz Shahbuddin from Siligudi.
Ranjeet sir has done a lot for me.
This is Dev sir, your brother.
Oh my brother!
So sweet they are.
It's really nice to meet you.
This is my wife, your sister-in-law.
Excuse me... no offense,
but Ranjeet sir had mentioned
that Jolly's wife is a foreigner.
- Yes!
- Right?
Right, right.
Well, I'm from Afghanistan.
Kabul, Kareembagh, Al Durrani Kothi,
Seekh Paratha Kebab lane...
Is the term "foreigners"
exclusive to people from the West?
Begum Zara Akhtar!
Jolly, just for formality sake,
can I see your passport or some ID?
- Yeah.
- ID? Oh, that's with my wife.
I have four of them.
What? Four wives?
No, ID!
That's what defines me.
Your ID?
No, my wife!
If it gets too old,
you have to replace it.
Who, a wife?
No, ID!
Whatever the case,
you should always have one with you.
What, ID or wife?
Both!
Wait a minute...
Why are you asking
for my passport and ID?
Jolly, it's...
No, wait. It's okay, it's all good.
Here's my British passport.
Thanks.
You might be wondering why I'm giving it
to you with my right hand?
Why?
- Jolly's a lefty.
- Right.
I should be giving it
to you with my left hand.
Forget that... and look at this.
A concealed, treacherous snake!
I can't see it clearly;
let me take a closer look.
Yeah, yeah, and while you're at it,
why not give it a sniff too?
No, no, no.
Disgusting!
How many more proofs do I need
to show to prove I'm Jolly?!
If you want, you can show...
We're all very sorry, brother.
Guys, by interrogating him this way...
You're insulting my brother.
Brother!
Double the trouble!
Namaste! Namaste! Namaste!
I'm Jalbhushan, aka Jolly.
Yes.
So, on the day of my naming ceremony,
I ended up getting burned here.
Go ahead and take a look.
- Where are you going?
- It must've hurt a lot, right?
So, the priest thought,
"Why not name him Jalbhushan?"
Incredible, isn't it?
Jalbhu, until yesterday, you were an orphan,
and today we discover you have a father!
Yes, ONE!
One.
Why stress on the "one"?
Stress on the fact
that you have a father!
- Yeah.
- Hmm.
Welcome, welcome!
Oh, thank you!
I'm Shiraz Shahbuddin from Siligudi.
Oh, I see!
Ranjeet sir has done a lot for me...
This is Dev sir, your brother.
Brother!
That is, of course,
if you're Jolly, indeed.
If?
What do you mean by "if"?
Jolly Two...
meet Jolly One.
What?
He says that he is Jolly.
You're Jolly?
I'm Jolly, of course!
Who else could be Jolly, you?
- Yes, I'm Jolly.
- You?
- Me!
- You?
- Me!
- Youuuu?
Meeee!
He suffers from narcolepsy.
He can sleep anywhere, anytime!
I've heard of the condition
where people sleepwalk,
but he actually falls asleep
while walking!
This ridiculous man is faking it.
He's dumbfounded
after seeing the real Jolly!
He's an imposter,
and she's not a foreigner.
- Look!
- Wait a minute!
Big sister?
Big sister!
She's talking to you.
Big sister!
I'm from Sri Lanka.
Oh, madam!
He's the real Jolly
and the fake one is...
Me! Me!!
Yes! Look,
he admitted that he is an imposter.
- Thank you!
- Enough!!
Money sure knows
how to divide things up!
One Jolly turned into two!
Now I've got to figure out
who I need to support
and who I need to boot out,
because honestly,
there can't be two Jollys!
Third Jolly?
Another Jolly?
Looks like a truckload
of Jollys overturned outside.
He's joking! He's joking!
Hey, hey, hey, what is this, huh?
A two-piece isn't allowed in here!
So, which one should I take off then?
What are you saying?
What are you even talking about, huh?
He's the same guy!
My archenemy!
This is the tale of a youth,
Whose heart secretly yearned,
For a beautiful maiden,
for whom his crazy love burned.
This is it! Prada's son, Gucci,
will avenge his father's death!
- Pasta, control Gucci.
- Gucci, relax, relax.
Hello, everyone!
My name is Julius, aka Jolly!
- Jolly?
- What happened?
Where's my father?
Papa?
Papa!
Popsy!
Papa?!
Did something happen to him?
Have we lost him?
Yes.
Oh, God!
- Oh, God!
- Brace yourself.
- No, no. How can this be?
- My Lord!
No, no, how can this be true?
- How could this happen?
- Why can't it happen?!
Why can't it happen?
He lived his life to the fullest.
He saw live concerts
from Tansen to Sushmita Sen.
My papa's seen everyone's...
What?
LIVE! CONCERT!!
LIVE CONCERT!
Stop it!
He's dead!
Stop joking, stop joking.
Welcome, welcome...
I'm Shiraz Shahbuddin from Siligudi.
Ranjeet sir has done a lot for me...
This is Dev sir, your brother.
If you're Jolly, indeed.
Excuse me, what do you mean by "if"?
Jolly Three...
both of them claim
to be the real Jolly too!
These two? Jolly?
Yeah, right!
They're nothing but a bunch of idiots!
- Hey!
- Hey!
What hey, huh?
If they were Papa Ranjeet's real son,
they wouldn't be saying hey,
no way!
Aye!
they would be saying "aye"
just like I did.
And these two?
They're just rented wives.
Huh?
What does Papa Ranjeet say?
The real Jolly's wife is a foreigner.
- Do they look like foreigners to you?
- Yes.
Wanna see a real foreigner?
Darling, show them.
- Wow!
- This is a foreigner!
Introduce yourself.
Yes, I'm Kaanchi from Nepal!
My husband is the real Jolly.
You two are imposters!
Don't make me angry.
I'm from Nepal.
I'll stick a khukuri in your backsides...
and twist it!
And then I'll pull
all the noodles out...
and I'll thrash both of them!
Then you'll be screaming,
"Sorry sir, I'm not Jolly."
"Sorry sir, I'm not Jolly."
This is too much!
Hey!
You think you're a foreigner?
I'm a foreigner!
Let go of me!
Hey, what are you doing?
What happened to you?
Which Jolly are you?
Look at this! Look at this mark!
Oh, my God!
- Mummy!
- Fine, fine, okay, okay.
- Sorry, wrong baby.
- You go!
- Baby, baby, I'm so sorry.
- Hey, what are you doing there?
Come here.
Jalabuddin! Jalbhushan!
Julius!
This isn't a movie like
Amar Akbar Anthony...
Papa has entrusted me
with the responsibility
of passing on the wealth
to the real Jolly.
There's only one way
to identify the real Jolly,
and I'll tell you what that is.
- Doctor!
- Yes, sir!
Get a DNA test done
on all three of them.
Yes, sir!
And I want the results
at 10 a.m. tomorrow morning!
Alright, sir. It'll be done.
You will do it here, right now?!
No, sir. I'll handle that later.
I was feeling stressed,
so I grabbed a piece of chocolate,
but I'm actually allergic to peanuts.
This is an anti-allergy pen.
Captain, get the ship going.
And keep these three VVIPs busy.
Entertain them until we find out
who the real Jolly is.
She keeps dancing...
She keeps dancing...
She keeps dancing...
She keeps dancing...
She keeps dancing...
She keeps dancing...
She keeps dancing...
She keeps dancing...
The night is radiant,
This celebration is vibrant,
To add to that, your charm,
Oh, it's heavenly brilliant.
When you turn around and look,
The stars feel jealous too,
It's a little spiritual,
And a little physical too,
Either don't call me close,
If you do,
don't make me be on my toes.
Don't ignite a fire in my heart,
And then blow it out
when things gets hot!
Mesmerizing catastrophe!
Beautiful tragedy!
You are the doomsday's epitome!
Mesmerizing catastrophe!
You are a beautiful tragedy!
Mesmerizing catastrophe!
Beautiful tragedy!
You are the doomsday's epitome!
You are a sweet dagger,
Mesmerizing catastrophe!
She keeps dancing...
She keeps dancing...
The destination of my eyes
is your face,
The beauty of yours needs me
in its grace.
This moment that we've got,
My love,
don't think it's just by chance,
This is a moment of fate
and timeless expanse.
Don't look into my eye,
If you do, don't leave me high and dry.
My heart's desires are like balloons,
Don't let the needles
of your indifference pop them too soon.
Mesmerizing catastrophe!
Beautiful tragedy!
You are the doomsday's epitome!
Mesmerizing catastrophe!
You are a sweet mystery!
Mesmerizing catastrophe!
Beautiful tragedy!
You are the doomsday's epitome!
Mesmerizing catastrophe!
You are a beautiful tragedy!
Mesmerizing catastrophe!
She keeps dancing...
Mesmerizing catastrophe!
She keeps dancing...
Mesmerizing catastrophe!
She keeps dancing...
Whose tail is this?
Huh? What is this?
Malaika?
Hello?
Get up.
- Kaanchi.
- How much more do you want?
What do you mean?
Who are you?
Sasikala?!
Oh shit!!
What are you doing here?
What did you do to me?
What did I do?
I didn't do anything to you!
You're the one
who did something to me!
Don't come near me.
Don't come near me, please.
Gross.
Sick.
- What is this?
- Please don't shoot me!
Please, please!
Look, look, look.
I'll sleep with you again.
Look.
Hey, stop it! Shut that door!
- Disgusting.
- Door?
Cover yourself up!
Hey, did you do this?
No.
And this love bite,
did you give it to me?
No.
It's yours... it's from your
big mouth... you gave it to me.
Look, whatever happened between us...
- Let's just forget it, okay?
- Forget it?
We can only forget if we actually
remember anything!
She says forget it!
Here's the plan:
you go to your husband,
- ...and I'll go to mine.
- Huh?
I mean... I'll go to my wife.
Clothes?
Clothes...
This fishnet like thing is yours?
It's mine.
Then take it.
What happened last night?
Don't shoot! Don't shoot! I'll
sleep with you! I'll sleep with you!
How many times do
I sleep with you, stupid?
Didn't I tell you to go
to your husband's room?
Just go to his room!
I was heading to my room,
but I'm hearing some weird
noises coming from inside.
What kind of noises?
These kinds of noises!
Doctor, please check my temperature.
You're so hot.
Oh, my God! Please.
- What's going on?
- You cheeky rascal! Jalbhushan!
Fake Jolly's busy
with someone else's wife?!
Having fun, huh?
- Are you having a party here?
- No, no, no!
- Oh, my God!
- Sasi! Sasi!
Look, look, I can explain.
I can totally explain
what's going on here.
Yeah, go ahead, we're all ears.
- So here's what happened...
- Tell us. Go on, tell us...
What happened?
I don't remember anything either,
but what you're seeing right now...
I swear to God,
it's nothing like that!
Sasi!
- Oh.
- What happened?
Did your knickers get all tangled up?
Sasi, I don't remember anything.
I don't know
how this all happened, but...
You should punish me.
You should hit me... with shoes.
Huh?
Where did this other shoe come from?
It's from a different brand.
Why are you stressing on the brand?
Stress on the shoe!
Wait a minute,
who bit you on the lips?
- Huh?
- Huh?!!!
No, no, no, no.
I would never do anything like that!
What a loose character!
In some random bed
with a total stranger!
I can't imagine of doing such
a thing even in my wildest dreams!
Gross!
- Look who's talking!
- Listen, you need to show some decency here.
You can't just accuse us like that!
Oh, please. What "decency"?
Hold on,
I'll go straight to your husband
and tell him
what his Afghani wife has been up to.
Look at this! Just look at this!
What were you two doing?
Playing "doctor-doctor"?
Doctor-doctor?
- Is she a nurse?
- Doctor-doctor?
- No, no...
- Were you giving her an injection or what?
I'll teach you a lesson!
- Don't you have any shame at all?
- Brother...
- Follow me.
- I'll explain it to you.
Sasi, Sasi, Sasi!!!
Brother, please hear me out.
Brother...
Brother, please hear me out.
- Let's just talk this through.
- What? Sasi...
Brother?
Now I'm definitely going
to tell him everything!
Come on, let's just talk it out!
Let's have a quick chat, alright?
Baby!
Good morning!
Good morning!
Kaanchi...
I've heard so many stories about Nawabs,
but the real sword fight
went down last night.
What sword fight?
He showed up with a tiny needle
and claims he was battling with a sword.
I've had enough of this, Jalabuddin!
I never even imagined
this kind of scene!
And look at this wolf!
What a loose character he has!
In some random bed
with a total stranger!
No, no.
I can't imagine of doing such
a thing even in my wildest dreams!
Gross!
Hey doctor, please don't even start!
Doctor?
Zara, I honestly don't know
how all this happened!
Just think about it,
why would I do this?
Especially when I know
this person's way too hot!
- Who, Pasta?
- No, Zara.
Why would I cheat you?
Just look at how much chest hair
this person has!!!
- Who, Zara?
- No, Pasta!
Zara... I swear on God,
my heart belongs to only one person!
- Pasta?
- No, Zara!
Pasta, I have nothing to do with Zara.
Sorry!!
Zara, I have nothing to do with Pasta.
You liar!
Last night, you were saying,
"Pasta, have me for breakfast!"
When did I ever say that?
I... I don't remember anything.
How are you supposed to remember?!
Move, move, move out of the way!
Last night, I slipped some intoxicating
medicine into the drinks.
It was meant for that damn Batuk Patel!
But you Mr. and Mrs. Jollys...
you all drank it by mistake!
And you all had a memory loss!
I'm sorry,
I don't want any part of your story!
Why the heck
is he coughing out a feather?
Hey! How did you end up
with a tyre mark on your back?
- Ouch!
- Look at that!
So, wait, does that mean
I got run over by a bike last night?
Hey!
First the bike, then Pasta!
Who else knocked you around, huh?
Speaking of which,
where's Kaanchi?
Oh yeah? Where's Kaanchi?
Where is Kaanchi?
Where is Kaanchi? Kaanchi!!!
- Jalabuddin!
- Hey! She's my wife!
- Where is Kaanchi?
- Look at him, pushing me aside.
- Jalabuddin!
- Behind the dinosaur?
- What is going on?
- Where is Kaanchi?
Where is Kaanchi?
- Move! Move aside!
- Wait a minute, guys!
Where is Kaanchi?
Kaanchi! Kaanchi...
Who are you looking for?
Kaanchi.
- Who's Kaanchi?
- Wife.
Whose?
Yours.
Then why are you looking for her?
I was just helping.
Helping?
Just stop it, man. Don't help.
Does anyone have a phone?
Do you have a phone?
Yes, I do.
Call my wife!
4479...
5642...
- Say that you're mine to be,
- It's ringing.
- Or without you, I'll cease to be.
- One minute.
The phone in your pocket is ringing...
It's yours. Pick it up!
Dev?
Why is Dev calling you?
This isn't my phone.
- Huh?
- Really?
- Answer it and put it on speaker.
- Pick it up.
- Come on, do it, do it!
- Just answer it already!
Doctor, where are you?
It's almost 10 o'clock.
I hope the DNA reports are ready.
Doctor.
We'll all meet you at the atrium.
Hello, doctor, are you there?
- Hello?
- Uh-huh.
Come soon.
So, does this phone belong
to the doctor?
Is the coat I'm wearing
also the doctor's?
What are you asking me?
I've been asking people
a lot of things myself.
Like this right here...
I have no idea how this happened!
I don't know how this gun ended up
in my underwear!
In your underwear?
Why are you stressing about
my underwear?
Stress about the gun!
Man, I've got a lot to stress about too.
Where did this second shoe come from?
And who bit my lips?
Hmm? Hmm? Who?
Look, none of us know
what happened after that incident!
So, why don't we go back to
where we remember
and see if we can find a clue there?
Well said, well said.
You're totally right.
I'll get ready quickly,
and then we'll head there.
Kaanchi!!!
Where are you?
Kaanchi's not here!
Kaanchi!!
Where are you, Kaanchi?
Jalbhusan, do you have
Kaanchi's phone number?
- Yes, I do.
- Then dial it.
Kaanchi's phone!
Kaanchi's phone is ringing!
Where's her phone?
Her phone, her phone, her phone...
I found Kaanchi's phone!
Give it to me!
Shit!
Your finger's stuck to it.
It's not mine.
Then whose is it?
Oh, my God! A finger...
That too on a phone!
Why are you stressing about the phone?
- Stress about the finger!
- Oh sorry!
Does that finger belong to Kaanchi?
Dead body!
- Dead body!
- Kaanchi!
Dead body!
Dead body!
Dead body!
- Kaanchi!
- No, this can't be happening!
- Kaanchi!
- Kaanchi!!!
Kaanchi!!! Kaanchi!!!
If it's not Kaanchi's dead body,
I'll turn YOU into a dead body,
you rascal!
Kaanchi! Kaanchi!!
Is Kaanchi your mother
or something? This...
My parrot will never get up again!
He's got to be in here somewhere.
He's alive!
I'm joking!
Did we actually do all this?
Why would we even go into the kitchen?
I know exactly who did this!
- I'm 100% sure!
- Let's go, let's leave right now.
- I know who the culprit is.
- Run, run, let's get out of here...
You three!
Yes, you three!
Come here.
Let's go.
You three were here when Batuk Patel and
I were fighting in the kitchen, right?
And then I got knocked out.
And Gucci got all out!
Oh, my poor Gucci!
Kill you! Kill you! Kill you!
I've been tolerating
you all this while...
I'm starving.
I'll turn your moustache into pasta.
Got it?
They are fighting.
They will kill each other. Stop them.
Hey!
Why do you guys always keep fighting?
Stop it!
Gucci, save your
Pasta otherwise I will kill him.
Stop it, guys!
I will kill you!
- Hey, someone take care of him!
- I won't spare him!
I've finally got the chance to pay
him back for what he did to my dad!
Treat me with respect, I'm warning you.
I won't spare you! Let go of the gun!
Freeze! Freeze!
- Fridge!
- Fridge!
He wants to go inside the fridge.
Put him in the fridge!
There ice in here, I'll feel cold!
Shoot behind you!
Shoot behind you!
In there?
- Shoot behind you!
- Not in there!
You'll get hurt!
Not in there,
shoot behind you!
KILL HIM!
Revenge!
Wait a minute!
I'll grab his wings!
You grab his legs.
Kill him already!
Okay, one, two!
Yay!
Woohoo!
We won! We won!
We won! We won!
Go away!
Take this!
Turn the vacuum on!
Jalbhusan!
Noooo!
I will kill this parrot!
No... no. I also killed his father like
this with a vacuum cleaner.
We can't kill him like this, it's a sin!
You killed him.
Parrot killer!
I know who killed Gucci.
Batuk!
My parrot's never going to wake up again
and it's all Batuk Patel's fault.
My parrot's never going to get up.
May he rest in peace.
But he's resting in pieces.
And my new parrot,
such a sweet little thing...
- Oh God, just take me too!
- Batuk.
Batuk...
Batukk!
Now what am I supposed
to do with Batuk?
Fridge! Fridge! Freeze!
- Fridge?
- FRIDGE!!!
- FREEZE!
- He's in the fridge!
Should I turn off the AC?
Shut up!
Do I say ow? Do I say ouch?
I'm frozen and how?
What do I say now?
It's hot! It's hot! Hot! Hot! Hot!
First Prada, then Gucci...
now I'm dreading
the arrival of their next heir.
Maybe his Uncle Versace
or Uncle Armani?
I'm done fighting these birds!
I swear, I feel like just
getting rid of them all.
Hey.
I couldn't find Kaanchi,
but I found her bag!
Her bag?
- Kaanchi...
- Open it.
Good, we might find a clue inside it.
Okay.
Handcuffs.
Fishes?
A jet spray?
Yeah, she doesn't like toilet paper.
She loves eggplants, right?
Yes.
My cash!
This belongs to Kaanchi?
A key?
What's this key for?
A key?
What is this key for?
Is it a room key or what?
It says "Lucky Draw" on it.
Don't tell me Kaanchi got sold off
in a casino!
Hey, hey, hey!
I remember...
I remember something!
- You do?
- Yeah!
Last night,
I rode that bike parked over there.
This is the key to that!
And... and... seated behind me was...
So, who wants to come with me?
Me! Me! Me!
Me! Me! Me!
No! No! No!
Me! Me! Me!
Here we go!
- Go! Go! Go!
- Yeah, let's go!
Woohoo!
Hey, my Kaanchi!
Move! Move! Move!
- How many CCs is this thing?
- Ask about Kaanchi.
Yes, I will!
Yeah, yeah, it's got a kick.
Hey, forget that,
where's my Kaanchi?!
Guys... tyre marks.
- Let's go!
- Let's follow them!
Let's go, let's go, let's go.
- This way, this way then it turned this way...
- Where all did you take her?
The tyre tracks end here. Now what?
- Take off your shirt. Take it off!
- What?
What? Why?
- What are you doing?!
- Lie down. Lie on your stomach.
- What are you doing?!
- Lie down! Lie down!
- Look!
- Oh wow, it's a match!
Straight line.
The bike went this way.
Dude, am I a carpet now?
Why are you all walking over me?!
Okay, now tell us,
where did you take the bike after that?
- Here somewhere?
- I forgot.
- Where?
- Where to next?
But this is a dead end!
Kaanchi?!
My Kaanchi!
Kaanchi!
- Oh, my God!
- He always gets to her rescue before me!
Kaanchi! Kaanchi!
You know something?
The first person who laid eyes on you...
was me.
I saw into your intoxicating eyes...
- Huh?
- Kaanchi...
Tell us everything you remember
about last night, in detail.
Don't stress her!
- First get my Kaanchi out of there!
- You did this, idiot!
No! She's staying in the wall until
you let go of her hand.
Kaanchi...
Kaanchi...?
You are my Kaanchi.
Don't worry, okay?
I'm going pull you out myself.
Alright? Come on, push!
- I...
- You step back. You help me pull!
I'm coming!
Kaanchi?!
Are you okay, Kaanchi?
- Kaanchi?!
- Yeah?
Tell me, do you remember
anything from last night?
Yeah, I remember!
- What?
- Long live Nepal!
Long live my dagger!
Kaanchi, don't worry,
don't stress your brain. It's okay!
It's okay!
Want some lime water, darling?
Should I get you some?
No, no, no limes!
She gets acid reflux...
and then gas.
Hold her!
How do you even know
about her gas issues?!
You know when it happens,
how it happens, from where?!
Well, look who's all here together!
What, you guys friends now
or something?
Did the doctor come?
Wasn't he supposed
to meet us here at 10?
I talked to him just a while ago.
I'm calling him.
Say that you're mine to be,
I'm calling the doctor -
so why is the phone ringing
in your pocket?
Why is the doctor's phone ringing
in your pocket?
- Oh God!
- A finger?!
- A finger!
- A finger?!
- Ew!
- Oh, God!
Whose chopped-off finger is this?!
TELL ME! What have you done?!
Whose finger is this?!
Doctor!
Oh, my God!
The fake Jolly has the most to gain
from the doctor's death...
which means you six are
all prime suspects now!
And until the police arrive
on this ship--
You are all staying in the ship's jail!
Captain, arrest them!
What?!
- We are innocent.
- Why would we kill the doctor?
Listen!
This ship has a jail?!
Of course it does!
It's also got a golf club,
two cemeteries,
and a toll booth up ahead!
- Huh?
- Move it!
Let's go! Keep walking!
Hey, don't push my Kaanchi!
What "my" Kaanchi, huh?!
She's my Kaanchi!
Stop fighting. Just go inside.
Mind your manners.
Just because I'm not saying anything
doesn't mean you can keep bothering me!
I swear, this is the first time
I've ever seen a dead body in real life.
We'll find out who the killer
is once the police get here.
- Relax, guys.
- You step aside.
We'll talk about the killer later.
First, let's figure out who the real
Jolly is among the three of us.
- Yeah.
- Shut up! Just shut up!
I'll deal with you later.
You...
When you first got here,
who were you with?
With her.
And in the morning,
when you woke up, who was next to you?
- She was!
- What?
He was fulfilling his "Armani"
dreams with Zara.
- Sick.
- I swear, I swear!
I'm a lefty,
I've got a boil on my buttocks,
and my wife is a foreigner,
she's from Nepal.
And there's only one person
who knows all that besides me.
Any guesses who that person is?
This Nepali woman!
I told you everything.
Didn't you tell him everything?!
Are you two boyfriend
and girlfriend or not?!
- Yes.
- No, no...
No!
- Yes or no?!
- No.
No, no.
- Yes or no?!
- No.
- Yes or no?!
- Yes, YES!
He's my boyfriend.
- My darling!
- That's it.
The case is solved.
Hey, this reminds me,
you're not exactly a saint yourself.
You aren't the "real Jolly" either!
You're just that private detective
Papa Ranjeet hired to find Jolly, right?
And then when you learned
about Jolly's habits... you thought,
"Why don't I just become Jolly?" Right?!
Then you asked Kaanchi
to come to the London music
festival just to hire her.
And you sang a song there too, huh?
How do you know that?
Because I sang the same song
at that festival too!
So did I!
Oh my naive heart, turn unfaithful,
You've got the permission,
a hundred times be playful.
Oh my naive heart, turn unfaithful,
You've got the permission,
a hundred times be playful.
What you never did before,
Today, in love, go and explore.
What hides inside your body whole,
It's time to free your waiting soul.
Meet at night and by dawn,
Meet at night and by dawn be gone.
Oh my naive heart, turn unfaithful,
Oh my naive heart, turn unfaithful,
And that's where you told
Kaanchi your plan.
It was a good plan,
except for one slip up...
You didn't know
that Kaanchi is my girlfriend.
She told me everything!
But since she was already supposed
to come here with you,
I brought Zara with me instead.
But you guys didn't know
that Zara's my girlfriend!
She came to me
and told me your entire plan!
And since Zara was coming here
with Jalabuddin,
I brought Sasikala with me.
Make promises today,
just to break them by morrow,
Make a mistake that
if you forget won't bring you sorrow.
Make promises today,
just to break them by morrow,
Make a mistake that
if you forget won't bring you sorrow.
Your eyes don't see too much,
they only catch dreams for a moment,
The journey stays unfinished,
not all desires find fulfillment.
Where we don't meet again,
Where we don't meet again,
take that path fateful.
Oh my naive heart, turn unfaithful,
- Oh my naive heart, turn unfaithful,
- Oh my naive heart, turn unfaithful,
Oh my naive heart, turn unfaithful,
You guys just doze off wherever
there's a shoulder handy.
Now everything makes sense.
My wife is your girlfriend.
And my wife is your girlfriend.
And my wife?
Now I'll be his girlfriend!
This is downright repulsive!
In what circumstances was
this fate of ours sealed!
Hey, Ghalib's leftover paan spit,
enough with the Urdu.
Just speak normally.
Listen--
You bloody rascals!
Seriously, shame
on every single one of you!
Is this what you call fun now?
You came swaggering in,
trying to play big shots...
- Listen--
- Well guess what?
Now you're all going to rot
in jail for the rest of your lives!
Feeling proud of yourselves now?! Huh?
You shut up!
And you, Mr. Know-It-All-Brother-in-law,
you're the root of all this mess!
You know what all of you are?
You're horse-headed fools
with donkey-level attitudes!
And now I'm going to get dragged
into this mess with all of you!
Undo it.
The earlier version was better.
- You...
- Guys, guys, guys!
Let's just admit it...
at this point,
it's very difficult for us fake
Mr. & Mrs. Jollys
to get out of this mess.
Not just difficult...
it's impossible! Absolutely impossible!
It's impossible for those Jollys
to get out of this mess!
They came to meet their daddy...
but now their big daddies
will be meeting them.
Hey Baba, where are you, huh?
Bhiddu, chill pill! Hold your horses,
the hero's about to swoop in
and save the villain.
I'm more worried because you coming
to my rescue, Biogas!
Don't worry, I'm here.
Just look behind you.
What the hell, you idiot!
Careful!
I'm fine!
I'm not worried about you
Scoot!
I'm worried about my chewing gum.
You bloody...
Your blood pressure is rising,
should I let them go?
Don't let them go!
If you don't step on the accelerator,
I'll step on you!
Push it!
Hey!
Get them!
Faster, faster, faster,
don't stop! Keep going!
Oh shit!
Is that a baby?
You...
Baba! Bhiddu! You two have
completely messed up London!
I have come here to tell you
that you both are SUSPENDED!
For what?
Why are we suspended?
How is this possible?
Sir, who suspended us, sir?
Dhagdu Hulgund!
Don't worry, I'll handle it.
You'll handle it, right?
Don't worry.
You can blow up bombs,
but I can't even poke
your eyes out?
What will you do with two eyes anyway?
Give one to me.
What happened to him?
Not my teeth, sir, not my teeth!
You can break the law,
but I can't even break your teeth?
We came here for CU (Catch Up)
but it's turned into an ICU situation.
He poked the entire eye out, Bhiddu.
This guy is dangerous.
Let's get out of here.
You never shower anyway,
he'll break you and "scrub"
you down to the bone!!
We got suspended, and he's out
here singing like nothing's wrong!
Hey!
What is it?
I met some journalists outside
They were asking
why we got suspended.
I was going to name you,
but my father said
never speak ill of someone
behind their back,
so I'll just say this
to your face today...
What?
I don't like you...
I HATEEE you!
Hi honey!
Yeah, tell me.
Are you still alive, huh?
Why are you even calling me?!
There's been a murder
on Ranjeet Dobriyal's ship.
Dr. Raman Joshi's been killed.
And I thought,
who better than you to investigate it?
Look, I didn't give you a divorce
because I wanted to handle
all your messes for you!
You're not my wife anymore,
remember?!
Having a phone these days
is such a hassle!
You're a nice guy.
- What's going on?
- I love you, actually.
Really?
Let's talk for a bit.
Come, buddy!
A sudden change?
Come on, brother.
Talk about what?
So you wanna talk about my wife
and my family, huh?
Nice.
Yeah, nice.
You'll know what it feels
like when you'll get married!
What the hell?
Now you and I are going on the ship
to solve the murder.
Why me?
We're suspended, remember?
Hey.
I know that.
You know that.
But the people
on the ship don't know that!
If we solve this murder...
we'll get our jobs back.
Get it, Stinky Garlic?
- I...
- DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There is no other option!
Get the gun off my neck.
Come on.
I get it. I get it.
If I get hit then...
Is this a police station or what?
As soon as the police shows up,
they'll redo our DNA test.
We'll have to destroy our DNA samples
and dump Ranjeet's body in the water.
You can do it.
Come on.
You trying out for
the javelin team or what?
Sorry.
Hey, what are you doing man?
Just give it to me!
Careful.
These keys, damn it!
Go, go, go! Hurry up!
- Be careful.
- Hurry up!
Do you want to make a tunnel or what?
- Let me do it.
- No, I'll do it.
Let me do it.
No, I'll do it.
You can't do anything.
Give it to me!
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Amazing!
- Kaanchi, you're the best!
I know!
- My Kaanchi!
- Hey!
- I'm his Kaanchi now.
- Okay fine, you can keep her.
I'm so good, baby.
What happened to him?
He just sleeps anywhere!
Wake him up.
Wake up...
Guys, come on.
Be quiet.
Easy, easy now.
You three go dump Ranjeet's body.
We're heading to the lab
to destroy your DNA, got it?
Okay.
Slowly, slowly.
He's not playing statue.
Let's go.
Okay.
Why are you walking like that?
The plan was to dump the body
in the ocean
but how are we even supposed
to get it there?
- The lift!
- Very good.
The lift? Seriously?
Everyone knows
we're locked up in jail.
Everyone knows he's locked up in here.
You want to ride the lift with
a corpse so the whole ship sees us?
Brilliant plan. Truly amazing.
Try coming up with something better!
Idea!
Dammit!
What are you guys doing?
Dealing with total lunatics here.
Where's the body?
Quickly pick it up!
- Hurry up!
- The other side!
Careful, careful.
Why are you walking backwards?
Keep it down, keep it down.
Stop, stop, stop!
Gotcha!
You really thought you could
sneak past Batuk Patel, huh?
First tell me,
how'd you get out of jail?
What kind of security
officer are you, sir?
Huh?
Don't you know prisoners
get assigned chores?
Like throwing stones,
I mean, breaking stones
and grinding wheat.
The Captain gave
us carpet-cleaning duty.
Yeah, yeah, I know!
But the Captain's cabin is this way.
Why were you going that way?
Come on, back this way.
Let's go.
Go, go, hurry up.
WAIT!
Hold on!
Hold on!
Come here!
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
Hair?
This much hair on the carpet?
And it's filthy!
You call this cleaning?
It's stinking!
Take this and clean it properly
or I'm telling the Captain.
No, no, sir!
Please don't complain to the Captain.
It's our first mistake.
We'll clean it properly this time, sir!
Okay then, move it.
Move, move, move.
Thank you, sir.
That was close.
What are you thinking so hard about?
I'm just thinking...
when we wrapped Ranjeet's body
in the carpet...
Yeah?
His head was on that side.
Right.
So where did this guy pull
that hair from?
Gross.
Eww.
Let's go, let's go.
Was this the only way into
the doctor's lab or what?
Obviously.
If we went through the door,
someone would've seen us.
Carefully.
Slow down, slow down.
Slow down.
Turn, turn, turn!
We are visible!
What are you doing?
Turn around.
We are still visible!
Turn around.
Jolly?
Jalbhushan, is that you?
Crap, she saw us.
- Excuse me? I can see you!
- Open the carpet.
- She is coming this way!
- What are you all doing?
Let's lift the body up
and put it on the trolley.
I can see you.
- Put it on the trolley.
- Lower that carpet.
Lower that carpet now.
- Keep it on the trolley.
- Come. Hurry.
She's a lawyer, you idiots!
She's not going to get us jailed,
she'll have us hanged!
Julius!
Oh, God!
Help!
- Anyone here?
- I can't see through the carpet!
Help!
We'll take two dead bodies along.
Are you all crazy or what?
- Where's the body?
- It's right here.
Run!
Damn it!
- Is there really a paan shop on this ship?
- Hey!
This way!
- Trolley is over there!
- Get him!
Thank God no one saw him!
What a party!
- Look behind you! Look behind you right now!
- What happened?
Oh, my God, Ranjeet sir!
Gotcha!
- Sorry. I'll just be back.
- Give him a casual pose.
Give him a casual pose.
Let's throw these shades on him.
Put these shades on him.
Birthday boy! Got you!
Oh God!
How are you, my love?
You know...
The last time we met,
- you were so, so naughty!
- I did not keep it.
Oh, I'm wearing the perfume
you gifted me last time.
Do you like it?
Oh, stop, stop, stop, stop.
Not in public! What is he doing?!
Not in public!
He's hungry! He's hungry!
Oh my sweetheart!
Ranjeet sir... here's my key.
I'll see you later, okay?
See you later, my love!
- Thank you!
- Hurry!
- Okay.
- Thank you for coming! Bye!
Why did you turn his face that way?
I didn't do it!
- I'm telling you, he's still alive!
- What nonsense?!
This guy's such a jerk!
Oh my God, Ranjeet sir!
When will this end?
Let's pick him up and get out of here.
Let's go.
Get up, get up, come on.
Get up fast.
Okay, okay.
Come on, hurry up.
- Oh no.
- Guys... Got it.
Guys, quick, quick.
Hurry up.
Guys, guys... come here, come here.
I've recorded everything!
Yes!
We've to tell the boys.
Let's go.
- Wait.
- What?
Oh!
Come on, come on!
Listen,
if anyone asks, just say
Ranjeet sir had too much to drink,
and that's why we're holding
him like this.
- Let's go over there.
- Okay.
What the hell does he eat?!
Where do we even take him next?
That way, up there,
one more floor.
From over there.
No, not that way!
We literally just came from there.
- Take him wherever you want.
- Come on, let's go.
Turn him around.
Ranjeet sir,
I've been waiting for your interview!
Hi! Hello, sir.
I'm Vikram Menon from Life News.
Sir, the ship wants to know,
you're worth sixty-nine billion pounds.
How does it feel to be
in this position?
He says the "sixty-nine position"
is actually a great one.
You've got to work hard to get here.
Money has its place,
and this position has its own place.
That's what he's saying.
Hold on, I asked him a question,
so why are you answering for him?
He's calling you.
Sorry. Sorry.
See, the thing is,
Mr. Ranjeet is a very wealthy man.
He's actually hired someone
to speak on his behalf.
And he's a little... you know.
But if he hired him then
why are you answering for him?
Because I hired him.
Okay? Now,
you've asked enough, please go.
- Thank you!
- Yeah.
No, sir. Please, just one more question.
The ship wants to know...
I'll take down your ship and you with it.
Let's go from here.
Let's get out of here!
Let's go.
Let's go upstairs.
Oh god, those two are standing there.
U-turn, U-turn, U-turn!
Let's go inside, hurry.
It's fully packed.
Come on.
Hurry up, hurry up.
This one's empty, come on in!
Let's go, let's go, let's go.
- What are you doing?
- Let me go first! I'm your senior.
Listen, just open the window,
we'll toss him out from here itself!
This window's sealed shut!
It doesn't budge.
What do we do now?
Who is it now?
What do we do?
What do we do?
Hide the body in the cupboard,
I'll go answer the door.
Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up.
I wonder who's at the door.
- Be careful.
- That way, go that way.
Be careful.
Hurry up.
Come in!
Come on, girls.
Game over.
We found the killer.
- What?
- Sorry?
Bedi is the killer!
- Bedi?!
- Look at this.
Have a look at it.
Bedi kept something
in the doctor's pocket.
He was definitely planting
an evidence against us.
We recorded everything while he
was erasing the evidence in the clinic.
- Crazy!
- Thank God!
Now we can finally sleep easy.
Oh, my God! He dozed off again!
Hey! Focus here, guys!
The police are already on the ship.
You three, go lock yourselves
in jail so no one gets suspicious.
We'll take care of the body
and dump it.
Okay? Go, go.
Okay, let's go.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, go! Go!
Come on!
Bye.
Wake him up!
- Wake up already!
- Who is he?
You stand guard at the door.
- Where's the body?!
- Here.
The body...
Bedi's the killer?!
Exactly!
When he was born, even the nurse said,
"Congrats, you've just brought
a killer into the world."
We'll dump Ranjeet's body
and let everyone know.
Bedi will be behind bars.
Now, all we have to do
is wait for the London police.
Hurry up, hurry!
What lengths people go
to for money!
If I ever get my hands on Bedi,
- I'm going to teach him a good lesson!
- Over here, over here.
Hurry up, hurry up.
- Look around, make sure no one's watching!
- Over here, over here.
This way, this way.
Everything has been taken care of.
Over here.
Knock it off, both of you.
Where to go?!
Up there, up there, up there.
Let's go up those stairs.
- Go! Go, go, go!
- Go back, go back, go back!
Turn around, turn around, turn around.
Police?
Turn around, turn around, turn around.
- Bedi!
- U-turn, take a U-turn!
Guys, stop!
Sir, good thing you guys showed up.
Sir, let me explain.
It's not what it looks like.
When, why, and how...
I'll tell you everything, sir.
But sir, the big thing is,
we've found the doctor's killer.
- Yes, sir!
- Oh?
Really?!
Sir, you know Bedi killed the doctor!
Hey, stop stressing about the doctor,
stress about Bedi!
He's crazy, sir.
Sorry. Sir, Bedi is the killer.
That dead body they're holding...
it's Bedi!
- What did he say?
- I don't know.
Here we go!
What "here we go"?
These guys are ruining their own lives.
But sir, with all due respect,
don't take this the wrong way...
You guys wasted the helicopter's fuel
to get here.
Sir, whatever it is,
we've solved the case.
Yeah, but no need to thank us, sir.
If you want the credit,
you can take it. No problem, sir.
You guys think we're idiots
to take credit for this? Huh?
Sir, that's so sweet of you.
It's a big deal coming from you.
Sir, thank you!
You guys really pulled
off something huge, right?
There should be a record of it, right?
Record?
- He'll record us?
- Oh!
- Want to take a selfie?
- You're recording this?
Here, take it, take it, grab it!
Sir, sir, one minute, sir.
- One minute, one minute, one minute!
- Sir, why are you so close?
It's just going to show my nose.
- Can you move it back a bit?
- Yeah!
Yes! Cheese!
This...
- He...
- They are trapped.
Where's that dead body?
How would I know?
Why are you asking me?
Bedi, Bedi, Bedi, Bedi, Bedi!
When did he get exchanged?!
How would I know?
- Sir, we don't know! We didn't kill Bedi!
- Very good.
We didn't kill him!
These guys killed Bedi, sir.
No, we didn't kill him, sir!
We didn't kill him!
- Have you gone crazy or what?
- What are you doing, guys?
Now, this is going to be fun!
Yes, Bhiddu!
Let's go, let's go, let's go!
Move, move, move!
Come on, get up, everyone.
Line up over here.
Your big daddies have called you
one by one to make you sing like a canary.
So, who's going be the first to give in
and dance to their tune?
Cut it out!
Hold on, hold on.
I'll decide.
Eenie, Minnie, Minnie, Moe,
which Jolly will be the first to go?
Let's go, bro.
- He's cheating.
- Let's go already.
Sir, they have put me in a fix.
Hey, go back inside!
Sir, I've never even killed
a mosquito in my life.
But that rascal had made
my life miserable!
- Who, the mosquito?
- No, Bedi...
What was the point of him coming
so close to my ear?
Who, Bedi?
No, the mosquito.
There was so much stress,
so much tension.
He literally drained all my blood.
Who, the mosquito?
No, Bedi...
Can I be honest with you?
If "it" didn't exist,
"he" wouldn't have either.
By "It" you mean the mosquito
and by "He" you mean Bedi?
No, sir, "It" is Bedi and
"He" is the mosquito!
Damn it.
Oh, my God!
God?
- His name's Jalabuddin.
- Yeah.
And he's calling out to God?
Are you stressed about something?
Zara's from Al Durrani Kothi near
Seekh Kebab lane, right?
But there's no place like that
in Afghanistan!
Zara said you weren't
with her last night.
Where were you? Tell me!
Forget it.
After drinking,
he probably just passed out!
It's not like he'd sleep
with a guy or anything.
- I'll be damned.
- Are you stressed?
Why do you think I'm stressed, sir?
Here you go,
you're sweating like a fountain.
Wipe it. Yes, my baby.
Come on now, tell me everything...
your past, your history,
your ins, your outs!
Come on, spill it!
SPEAK UP!
I'm a very simple guy, sir.
I've never even killed a mosquito,
please let me go.
I stay far away from all
this violence and jail stuff!
Sorry, sir.
Mom promise.
We have got the information that a dangerous
criminal has just escaped from prison.
Police have released
a sketch of the suspect.
Damn it.
Sir, this guy is clean-shaven,
and I have a beard...
Can I leave now?
We've been told that this criminal
is sporting both a moustache and a beard,
- making him difficult to identify.
- Damn it.
He stands at approximately
5 feet 3 inches tall.
5'3"? This guy's 5'3" and I'm 6'3", sir!
I swear that the ceiling fan s blade
almost killed me more than once
- and he's only 5'3"!
- Sit, sit, sit down.
- Can I leave now?
- Yes, you can.
Sorry, that was old information.
He is actually around
6 feet 3 inches tall.
Damn it.
So far, he has killed 18 people
and is reportedly looking
for his 19th victim.
Let me tell you, this criminal
is one of the most dangerous.
We are talking about America's
second-most wanted criminal -
Jagga Daaku!
You may leave.
Thank you sir.
- You...
- Where did you first see Bedi?
Come on, tell me!
In the ladies' toilet.
What was Bedi doing
in the ladies' toilet?
There was a gents'
toilet right next door,
so he went in there.
What was Bedi doing
in the gents' toilet?
- Uh... self-service?
- Shut up!
You think you're so smart, huh?
Tell me,
which one of you three killed Bedi?
SILENCE!!!
Hey!
He... he said it, not me!
Who dare you silence us, huh?
It's him who said 'silence'.
- Why are you yelling?!
- Shut up!
Keep your voice down!
- Alright, alright, I will.
- Dude, lower the gun.
Now, tell me what happened next
and make it quick!
What happened next?
What happened next?
So... the killer grabbed
a fire extinguisher.
What did he do with the body?
He... he lifted it up.
What did he do after that?
- After that...
- Hurry up!
After that he exited.
Did he say anything else?
- Yeah, he said something.
- What?
- "Farm Fresh Strawberry."
- Farm Fresh...
Strawberry!
Your blood pressure will shoot. Relax.
Throw him out.
Or I'll crush his strawberries.
That cleaned your ears out?!
Get lost!
Mind if I ask you two something?
Mr. Dev said he was calling
Interpol and he did.
But you two are not from Interpol.
Oh yeah? Come here, kid.
Come on, don't be shy.
Come here already.
I'll whisper it in your ear.
Beware!
- Caution!
- You are under surveillance!
Mind your step!
Go.
Mind your step!
Now, go.
Ladies' toilet.
There was a gents'
toilet right next door.
He... he lifted the body.
Farm fresh strawberries!
Beware!
Caution!
You are under surveillance!
Mind your step!
- Hello, Captain.
- Hello.
Come on.
They hid Ranjeet's body
in this room.
Come on.
Come, come.
- What?
- Where...
Where's Ranjeet's body?
They left it right here!
- This is Bedi's room, right?
- Oh, my God!
Bedi's body was found in Bedi's room.
I think all three of them
are the killers.
I don't think any of them are.
- They're not?
- Hmm.
I swear, I don't know
why I keep getting stuck with this guy!
There's only one way
to get the Jollys to talk.
Hi, honey!
You're back!
The lizard is back.
I can't believe I called you
and you actually showed up.
Dammit!
You know how much
I've missed you?
She still wears the same cheap perfume!
Who's she?
You must be Bhiddu, right?
- Hi!
- Hi!
I'm Maya!
I'm sure he must've told you
who I am, right?
No, no, no, not at all.
Oh, really?
Why's she even talking to Mr. Loser?
You like my massage!
Come on!
- Don't touch him.
- You've forgotten everything.
What are you doing?
Stop this cheap behavior.
I know. I'm sorry.
I'd only heard that
flies swarm around cow dung, but today,
I'm seeing it with my own eyes!
Tell me the truth, who is she?
Maya.
My wife.
Ex!
I know why you're reacting like this.
Actually, most people get shocked
because Baba and I...
well, we're a bit different.
A bit different?
No one even plays Holi
with this disgusting guy,
and you spent your wedding night
with him?!
But seriously, tell me,
how can you be with a man like him?
I've been looking all over for you,
and you're just sitting here?
I need to tell you something
about the killer. Come with me.
Another blind girl's obsessed with him?
Why did you break up with me?
Please just tell me the name of the killer.
...why did you?
I even got surgeries done for you.
I believe in organic.
Let me go.
She's practically your daughter's age!
Come here with me!
What's going on, man?
Girls are showing up
from anywhere and everywhere!
It's not my fault they keep popping
up everywhere!
You blame me
if they walk through the door.
You blame me if they come
out of the cupboard.
I have no involvement
in this, understood?
Hey, Trios...
What game are you
girls playing here?
Actually, I told her we came
to the wrong place.
Silence! Silence! Silence!
I got it.
These three are the wives
of those three Jolly guys.
- No! No.
- Yes!
They came here
to hide evidence from us.
Yes!
Yes, yes, absolutely!
- Let's go over there!
- We would never do that.
Sir, but we never do...
Listen, Baba...
This has gone on long enough.
Everyone here is wicked,
so we'll also have to be wicked!
We'll have to play good cop,
bad cop with these Jollys
to get them to talk.
Got it?
- Let's go.
- Let's go.
Remember this. Good cop, bad cop.
Sit down!
Sit down!
I'm asking you three one last time!
If you don't tell me,
your life's going to slip right
through your fingers.
Fingers?
Why are you stressing about the fingers?
Stress on the life!
- Stop talking nonsense, I'll shoot you otherwise!
- Take it easy, man, take it easy.
You've killed someone like this
before as well, remember?
You'll end up killing him too.
TELL ME!
As soon as the dead body hit the ground,
I landed right on the top, sir!
On the body?
No, on Zara, sir.
But it smelled awful.
Who, Zara?
The dead body, sir.
But I was happy.
She used to talk a lot,
now she was silent.
- The body?
- Zara, sir!
If we're talking about the body,
it was pretty stiff and firm!
Zara's body?
The dead body, sir!
Damn it.
Hey Jolly, have you lost your mind?
He hit you so hard,
you'll be covered in stripes!
Even if you walk around naked,
it'll look like you're wearing a shirt!
What are you doing, dude?
Take it easy, bro. Take it easy.
You. Bad cop.
Bad cop.
If you don't tell me...!
Hey!
I'll kill you all!
Time please!
Time please, time please!
This is not fair!
You can't just shoot us
whenever you feel like it!
We're Three UK citizens,
you can't shoot at us like that!
I won't talk to you.
I'll talk to your junior.
I'll talk to your junior.
I'll talk to your junior.
Junior.
I'll talk to your junior.
I'll talk to your junior.
Junior?
Say that again!
Say that again!
- You...
- What are you doing?
He'll die!
I'll show you who's junior here!
Mummy!
Put your hands forward!
Hands forward, I said!
Mummy!
Hands forward!
Play it.
Come on, play it.
Or I'll hit you!
Play it.
Watch out.
I'll beat the shit out of you today!
Take that.
You think you're so smart, huh?
Play it.
Come on, play it.
Go for it.
What have you done, man?!
I went a little overboard, man.
You said Bad Cop-Bad Cop,
so I kind of went full throttle.
Dude, I'm the Bad Cop
and you're the Good Cop!
Yeah? What's new in that?
You said Bad Cop-Bad Cop,
and that's what I heard.
Why didn't you say it right?
There's no such thing as
Bad Cop-Bad Cop, alright?
Then you should've stopped me!
I wouldn't have gone berserk!
I was going to stop you, bro.
Whatever, man!
But before I could, I found a piece
of evidence against the killer.
- What are you saying?!
- Check this out.
Oh, this this belongs to...
Don't touch me.
Go check this person s room.
I'll go check the body.
Okay.
Now that the police has arrived,
I can enjoy the steam in peace.
Smoking is injurious to health!
But what I saw
after the smoke cleared...
That was injurious to health!
I'm not joking!
This guy is butt-naked!
Laugh all you want, you idiot!
But if I don't make you cry blood,
I'm not Batuk!
- What do you think of yourself?!
- I won't spare you.
What's going on here?
Get back to work!
Get back to work!
Stop it. Enough. Enough!
Baba and Bhiddu have asked everyone
to meet them at the jail.
They've figured out who the killer is!
What?!
Hey, you're boat passengers,
do you know
why I called you all here?!
I've found out who killed Bedi
and the doctor!
Who?
He was going to say that, not me.
Go ahead, Bhiddu,
tell the name of the killer.
Go ahead, brother.
Let's start with the doctor...
He was still alive
when his finger got chopped off.
Who is going to cut this watermelon
on the cruise?!
There was dried blood around the finger.
What are you doing? He'll get hurt!
So that means it was chopped
off before he was killed.
Right after his finger was chopped off,
he ran straight to the lab.
That's when someone shoved peanuts
in his mouth...
to trigger his allergic reaction.
That's why his face was swollen.
Doctor ran away from there.
He was having a severe allergic reaction
that was about to kill him,
but then someone gave him
an anti-allergy shot.
We know that because,
along with the knife wounds,
there were also injection marks
on his body.
Then someone dragged his body.
But it wasn't the killer,
who was dragging it.
By then, all of the blood inside his body,
had dried up.
But weirdly enough,
the person who dragged
his dead body, also stole his shoes.
So, out of the three of you,
the killer of both the doctor and Bedi...
isn't any of you.
We are safe.
Open the door.
- Thank you.
- Congrats.
But then who is the killer?!
Everyone's dying to find out!
I'll tell you.
The one who killed the doctor
and Bedi is none other than...
- Dev!
- Huh?!
- What?! Are you crazy?
- I knew it! I knew it!
We found the butt of Dev's branded cigar
in Bedi's room.
I found a piece of evidence
against the killer.
- What are you saying, Bhiddu?
- Check this out.
This belongs to Dev.
After that, we searched Dev's room,
and we found a photo frame
of you holding a pen -
the same pen we found on the body.
Then, we found this chip stuck
to the sole of your shoe.
The other half of which was found
in the CCTV room.
Can you see, huh?
You're making a big mistake.
You can't catch the real killer
so you're pinning it on me?!
I'm not the killer!
I'm not the killer!
Get in there!
How dare you!
You can't just blame anyone like that!
Just shut up and get in there!
All the three Jolly are imposters
and the doctor was about to prove
it using the DNA test!
Wait, wait!
After that, the entire wealth was
going to be mine anyway,
so what would I have to gain
from killing the doctor?
Am I really that foolish...?
That I'd leave all this evidence behind?
Can't you see I'm being framed?!
The killer is still
out there amongst you!
Your lives are in danger!
I'm innocent!
Julius, please believe me.
I swear on God, I'm innocent!
I haven't killed anyone!
Julius!
Please believe me.
I haven't killed anyone!
Julius!
Naughty monkey,
who are you going to call anyway?
Dear monkey,
give the phone back to me, please.
Look
before this, Gucci that parrot,
died trying avenge his father.
So I'm just trying to warn you both...
whenever man
and beast go head-to-head,
man always wins.
You two are monkeys
let s just put this behind us.
Don't dig up the past.
Peace.
Peace.
What is this?
Dev was right.
He s not the killer.
The killer is the one with a missing
diamond from their bracelet.
Cheers.
These troubles have surrounded me.
She demands too much from me.
She drains the glass in one shot.
Why does she always want a red mix?!
These troubles have surrounded me.
She demands too much from me.
She drains the glass in one shot.
Why does she always want a red mix?!
One thing I am for sure, honey,
I'm craving an intoxication.
I'll down it all in just one go,
Someone bring me some red mix.
Red mix! Red mix!
Red mix! Red mix!
Red mix! Red mix!
Someone bring me some red mix.
Red mix! Red mix!
Red mix! Red mix!
Red mix! Red mix!
Someone bring me some red mix.
One thing I am for sure, honey,
I'm craving an intoxication.
I'll down it all in just one go,
Someone bring me some red mix.
My beloved will uncork it for me,
No one will get in the way.
Even if I'm scolded, it's fine,
Someone bring me some red mix.
My heart melts little-little-little,
When you wiggle-wiggle-wiggle.
I want to drink you down, angel,
Like you're a malt, single-single-single.
If you are a malt single-single-single,
Then I too am single-single-single.
Hop on my lap for a tickle,
Tingle-tingle-tingle.
Let me tingle-tingle, please,
Whenever you tease,
My aching heart isn't at peace,
I'm from Punjab Police.
Freeze!
Put your hands up!
Freeze!
Put your hands up!
Freeze!
Put your hands up!
And freeze, I'm from Punjab Police!
One thing I am for sure, honey,
I'm craving an intoxication.
I'll down it all in just one go,
Someone bring me some red mix.
Red mix! Red mix!
Red mix! Red mix!
Red mix! Red mix!
Someone bring me some red mix.
Red mix! Red mix!
Red mix! Red mix!
Red mix! Red mix!
Someone bring me some red mix.
One thing I am for sure, honey,
I'm craving an intoxication.
I'll down it all in just one go,
Someone bring me some red mix.
My beloved will uncork it for me,
No one will get in the way.
Even if I'm scolded, it's fine,
- Someone just bring me some red mix.
- Yo Yo Honey Singh!
Bombay to Birmingham,
New Delhi City, shout out, baby.
I'm yours, yours alone,
Trust me you won't want more.
Move it like a snake charmer,
I'm a snake tamer.
I'll buy you a nose ring,
Take you on a tour
from Bombay to Birmingham.
Go treat yourself to a pedicure,
I'll get you a 24-carat anklet
for sure.
In a mango grove,
Sitting on a cot
a royal Jatt we know,
Forget the French wine, sweetheart,
I'll give you a homemade fix
that's off the chart.
In a mango grove,
In a mango grove,
In a mango grove,
Sitting on a cot, we've got...
One thing I am for sure, honey,
I'm craving an intoxication.
I'll down it all in just one go,
Someone bring me some red mix.
Red mix! Red mix!
Red mix! Red mix!
Red mix! Red mix!
Someone bring me some red mix.
Red mix! Red mix!
Red mix! Red mix!
Red mix! Red mix!
Someone bring me some red mix.
One thing I am for sure, honey,
I'm craving an intoxication.
I'll down it all in just one go,
Someone bring me some red mix.
My beloved will uncork it for me,
No one will get in the way.
Even if I'm scolded, it's fine,
Someone bring me some red mix.
You thought you could frame Dev
and get away?
But Julius exposed you.
This bloodstained shirt
and that tiny piece
of the band completely gave you away.
If you don't start talking,
I'll make you. Got it?
Start talking, you giant.
Speak up!
Who turned off the lights?
Will someone turn
on the emergency lights?!
Why are you shining the torch
in your own face?!
Point it forward!
Huh!
Gucci's alive?!
Bro, it's a butterfly!
"Gucci's alive?!"
Oh come on,
the battery's dead now too?!
- Everyone, go and hide somewhere.
- Here, hold this.
I'm hiding behind the bar.
Why are you telling everyone then?
Now what do I do with this thing?
Crank it up your behind!
Not mine, are you crazy? Up yours.
- Jalbhushan, where are you?!
- Right here.
Here where?!
Captain! Grab him! He's up here.
Somebody please catch the Captain!
Hey...
Get him, get him, get him, get him!
He went back to sleep.
Captain's running away!
Somebody stop him!
I found it! I got the switch!
God only knows that's my nose!
Stop pressing it!
That's why I was wondering
why the switch was moist.
I found them!
I found two more switches!
You pervert!
Sorry! I got confused with the fuse.
- Turn on the torch!
- Careful.
You turned on the camera instead.
Oh sorry.
Oh bunny ears!
Oh!
Mummy!!!
Damn, this blood...
Guys, I got the Captain!
Somebody switch the lights back
on already!
Don't worry.
What's wrong?
What happened?!
Hey Orange Candy Bar,
what're you scared of now?
We've caught both the doctor's
and Bedi's killer!
The police came to catch the killer,
so now who's going to come
to catch the police?!
Our boss Dhagdu Hulgund!
What's he doing here?!
That too wearing that outfit?
Looks like he got suspended too!
Nah, man, his village has
Goddess festivities happening.
- I see.
- That's why he's dressed like that.
Hey, I saw that!
Dhagdu sir, good news, sir.
We figured out who the killer is!
Both the murders were done
by Captain Sameer, sir!
He is a damn killer, sir.
Dhagdu Hulgund sir,
That dead body they're holding...
it's Bedi's
It's the Captain's body, sir!
Captain's body.
Yes sir, we've got solid evidence.
Yes sir.
No offense, but you wasted
the helicopter's fuel to get here.
That s my dialogue!
That s my dialogue!
Sir, the killer went dead silent
after seeing you.
But why are you so silent?
Congratulate us, sir.
I get it now, Bhiddu.
Sir wants the credit for it!
Sir, you want credit, sir?
Oh come on,
he can't just take the credit like that!
Sir, this moment needs to be recorded!
Yes!
It should go on record!
- Hey, you have the thing?
- Camera, right? Yes, I do.
Start recording! Start recording!
Sir, with your kind permission,
sir... can I record it?
That's the only way they will find out.
Come on, come on, come on!
- Raise it. Raise it.
- See. See. Look carefully.
Holy smokes.
Is this.....Captain?
Oh, damn.
Pen is mightier than the sword.
You know why they say that?
Because the sword kills...
Mama Mia!
Oh, damn.
But the pen...
tells the story of the person...
who kills.
It all started with the doctor's murder.
Someone kept stabbing him,
and the blood splattered
on the wall and his clothes.
And those clothes belonged
to the Captain!
He was at the scene -
not as a killer, but as a witness.
And now,
your dagger just silenced that witness!
Now why are you staring
at us like that for, huh?
We didn't kill the Captain!
You told me that the Captain was the killer!
And what would we even gain by
killing him, Bhiddu?!
Exactly!
D for...?
Donkey.
No... Dhagdu.
Oh, sorry.
Yes, yes...
Dhagdu.
Sir, no sir.
Sir, we are innocent.
We'll give you a special mustard
oil head massage, sir.
Sir...
Now Ranjeet will us tell the truth.
He's Dhagdu sir, you idiot!
He's Dhagdu sir.
He can take the confession,
even out of a dead body.
We'll be at the port in two hours.
After that, everyone goes their own way,
back to their own world.
But who is the real Jolly?!
Yes!
Only Ranjeet sir knows that!
You are right.
Where did Dhagdu find
Ranjeet's body though?
Ma'am, he's from Interpol,
not from the North Pole!
Although today is his birthday,
he's the one who brought gifts
for all of you!
Open it.
Maya...
Dev...
Batuk...
Jalabuddin...
Lucy...
Shiraz...
Jalbhushan.
Pasta.
We are doomed.
You've been hooked
on gambling for years,
and now you're drowning
in millions of debt.
Obviously, the fewer the board
of directors there are,
the bigger your share, right?
You held the hand of the girl
who had held the hand
of the person who died.
We are screwed.
Only 150 people ate my stale momos
at Momo Paradiso and got food poisoning.
You could be facing 300 years
in jail for this!
Mama Mia!
I'll need five lifetimes
to get out of this!
You were supposed to give your grandma
the vitamins and poison the rats.
Instead, you gave the vitamins to the rats
and gave your grandma...
Anyway!
A fake business...
with offshore accounts.
At 16, you were charged with a hit and run
and then you made
the CCTV footage disappear.
Lost...
And found.
Jolly in the front, Jolly in the back...
how many Jollys do we have?
One thing's for sure,
you're all going to jail.
And yes...
You guys probably think the ship
will dock in two hours
and you'll all just go your
separate ways, right?
Wrong!
We're not going anywhere until
we see the killer's face.
This other bag holds
the killer's identity.
In a few hours, my rituals will be over,
and tomorrow morning,
I'll announce who the killer is.
Oh, and before we start the prayers,
in our village,
we always do the Fugdi dance.
Dance, ladies, dance,
Do the Fugdi dance.
Now how do I explain
what Fugdi is to these fools?
Come here,
let me show you how it's done.
Dance, ladies, dance,
Do the Fugdi dance.
You like me, and I like you too!
Dance, ladies, dance,
Do the Fugdi dance.
You like me, and I like you too!
Dance, ladies, dance,
Do the Fugdi dance.
You like me, and I like you too!
Dance...
Papa's got you dancing to his tunes.
Diwali is here,
Meet me downstairs, my dear.
Diwali is here,
Dance...
Diwali is here,
Meet me downstairs, my dear.
Diwali is here,
Dance...
Diwali is here, what's up
with you sitting like this there?
Go get ready with swag and flair!
Don't get into your brother's affairs.
You are just a novice, please.
This is not your cup of tea.
You are just a baby, dude,
You're scared of a simple
firecracker too.
You are so timid, I swear,
Come on, don't be so scared.
Don't shake, don't you dare.
No matter how much you drink,
Don't wobble, just stay in sync.
Hold the firecracker in your hand,
Let the rockets fly sideways, man.
Why fill your pockets
with sparklers, oh please!
Be strong, be like me
and live with ease.
Here's Nana's bomb just for you,
Go blow up the house
and see it through.
Dance...
Run.
Dance, ladies, dance,
Do the Fugdi dance.
You like me, and I like you too!
Dance, ladies, dance,
Do the Fugdi dance.
You like me, and I like you too!
You like me, and I like you too!
Come on!
Dance, ladies, dance,
Do the Fugdi dance.
Papa's got you dancing to his tunes.
Diwali is here,
Meet me downstairs, my dear.
Diwali is here,
Dance...
Papa's got you dancing
to his tunes once again.
Now Dhagdu Hulgund's after us too?!
Wasn't having the killer on
our tail bad enough?
- What's his problem with us?
- The killer's?
No, Dhagdu's!
We can't trust him.
- Who, Dhagdu?
- No, the killer!
- He's lost it. He's capable of anything!
- The killer?
No, Dhagdu!
Honestly, it's just so tiring.
For the killer or Dhagdu?
For me! I'm so tired!
Killer or Dhagdu, they ask!
Forget it.
What are you thinking?
Just a minute.
What?
Look, to us, Dhagdu's just
as dangerous as any killer.
One thing's for sure:
One of the twelve of us is the killer.
So, I beg the killer,
I beg to you with folded hands,
whoever you are,
just kill Dhagdu already!
What?
What are you saying?
You've already taken out three people,
so might as well go
for number four, right?
Okay, okay, guys, guys!
Thank you.
Look, no one's going to hear
a word of this from us, alright?
Hello! My leg's cramping here,
I'm not the killer!
What the hell are you talking?
Are you seriously thinking of killing
the Interpol Chief, Dhagdu Hulgund?
Really?
He's not just thinking
about killing him,
he's also thinking about saving us all,
and he's right.
Have you all lost it?
Yes, we have lost it.
Hey, guys, is there any other way
to handle this?
No, there's no other way.
We have to kill Dagdu.
Or he'll ruin our lives.
Didn't I say
this bag holds the killer's identity.
Sir, I can explain everything.
I accept I came here to kill you.
It's because you have the CCTV footage
of my hit-and-run case.
I did not kill Bedi.
I did not kill the doctor.
Please believe me!
If I hadn't come to kill you,
someone else would've!
We're all going
to jail because of you!
It's why everyone wants to kill you!
I'm sure it's Julius behind
all these killings.
He's the one
who provoked us to kill you.
He's the killer!
It can't be me.
Please believe me, sir.
Don't tire yourself, Mr. Dev.
I was told to provoke all of you
by none other than Mr. Dhagdu.
I know that you are a detective as well.
Provoke everyone into trying to kill me.
Everyone will try,
but only a killer will have the courage
to reach me.
Sir, I'm not the killer.
I was in jail
when the Captain was killed.
Anyone on this ship could be the killer,
but it's not me.
How do I convince you
that I'm innocent?
Please believe me sir.
- Watch out!
- WATCH OUT!
Get him.
Got him, sir. Got him.
You ass, not him. Grab the killer!
- Dev...
- Didn't I tell you I am not the killer?
It's someone else.
Dev!
Dev!
Hey, you are not allowed in here.
Oh my God. Oh my God.
Run. Run. Fast. Fast.
Oh my God. Quick.
Oh god, he shot me!
Bullet touched him.
I trusted both of you.
Is this what you call perfect timing?
Hey! Look, Dhagdu gave us
both the keys to the jail.
Yeah, he did.
He told us, "Leave at the right time."
Yeah, right.
Is this what you call perfect timing?
You jumped before time!
- You can blame each other later!
- Stop cribbing!
Look, that's the killer!
We have to surrender,
or he will kill us all.
Hey...!
Kill.
Did you get him?
Did you get him?
Baba and Bhiddu gathered
all the right evidence against you.
But then you were in jail
when another murder happened outside.
That's when I realized,
you've got a partner.
There are two killers.
69 billion pounds is mine!
This empire is mine!
I'm not letting go of it
at any cost!
That's why you teamed up
with someone else
and now, along with you,
he's going to get unmasked too.
- Oh, my God, him?
- He is...
Him?!
Jalbhushan?!
Jalbhushan.
Jo... Jolly Bhushan.
He's going to rot in the jail now.
Why waste the government's
money putting him in jail?
- So, what now?
- Let's just kill that scoundrel.
Where's the gun?
I thought you were going
to bring the gun.
What happened, guys?
Did you find the killer?
No, no, don't, don't.
Didn't find him?
No!!!
Didn't find him yet?
Hey, why are you pointing
the gun at me?
He thinks I'm the killer!
You donkey!
You son-of-a-owl!
You're impossible!
Who is? The donkey or the owl?
You're impossible, you idiot!!
The one you gave the gun to...
he's the killer!
He's the killer!!
- Please forgive me.
- Mr. Killer, please shoot him!
But not on the head,
go for the knees!
This idiot keeps his brains there!
- Just shoot him!
- Quiet.
No. No.
You know where this whole mess began?
- Hmm? Got any clue?
- Aye!
Yes! Correct!
Aye!
We're all rascals
when it comes to money.
The only difference?
Some just think about doing it
while some actually do it.
You just thought about doing it,
whereas I actually did it.
With Dev.
- Dev.
- Dev.
I joined hands with Dev
and I made a deal with him. 50/50.
Dev was in the middle
of swapping my blood sample
when the doctor caught him.
What are you doing?
You're changing the blood samples?
I'm going to expose you!
Doctor, you're getting it wrong!
We knew he was allergic to peanuts.
So Dev shoved peanuts into his mouth
but the doctor ran off
before the allergy kicked in.
But Dev won the race and killed him.
Our next victim...
Bedi!
The girls thought Bedi was the killer.
Bedi was sure Dev was the killer.
Dev's pen?!
Bedi threatened Dev.
- I know what you have done...
- And Dev shot him.
Then came the third token-
the Captain.
He secretly watched
Dev commit the murder.
And he didn't even try to stop him
so that he could blackmail us later.
So I killed three birds with one stone.
Pretended to be asleep,
I put Thangabali (Captain) to eternal sleep,
framed Baba and Bhiddu,
and cleared Dev's name
in the process!
Then a few people heard me
confess the truth,
hence I killed them.
No!
Who are you talking about?!
You guys.
No, no...
No, no, no!
I m deaf, didn't hear anything!
No, no, no!
No, no...
No, no, no!
What the hell is he up to?!
I am safe.
Why are you grabbing me?
Hey, who is it?
Hey Baba! Bhiddu!
Runaway killers!
What did you think,
you'd break out of jail
and just go around murdering people?
Piece of cake, huh?
What is this, a snack shop or what?
He thinks we are the killers?!
What is he saying?
Hey brother, take this! Grab this!
No!!!
Are you crazy?
Why are you just standing there?!
Point the gun at them! Do it!
He gave the gun to the killer!
How can anyone be so stupid? Idiot!
- You...!
- Stop!
Hey Baba! Everything cool, yeah?
You're my child! My child!
Forget the child, I'm your daddy!
Sir, please ask him to stop!
Hey!
What's up, Bhiddu?
I'm no hero!
I'm a mess!
I'm a legend!
- You're the villain!
- Are you looking to get smacked around?
Dhagdu Hunalulu!
The killers are right beside you
and you still didn't recognize them!
Maybe if you stopped fixing your dhoti
for five seconds, you'd notice!
Uncle, please retire now
and dance Fugdi
with preschool toddlers!
Dance, ladies, dance,
Do the Fugdi dance.
- Are you tired, darling?
- I m going to kill him!
I, Batuk, can take care
of these two clowns all by myself!
You! Point the gun at them already!
Point it at them like this!
No!
No!!!
It's not even Holi today,
and yet I, Batuk,
still caught them red-handed!
Are you crazy?!
These two are not the killers!
The person you handed the gun
to is the real killer!
Of course.
- In the hand?
- YES!
Stop stressing over the "hand",
start stressing over the "killer"!
Everyone keeps giving
the gun to the killer!
Forgive me, forgive me.
No!
No, no, no!
- Please, please, please!
- Dhagdu sir...
You're from the Interpol. Do something!
- Step forward, sir!
- They've got a gun!
Please, please, please!
When the villain's got the gun...
there's only one thing to do.
- What's that?!
- WHAT?!
RUUUUN!!!
I'm doomed! I'm doomed!
Make way, make way.
Please no! Don't shoot me!
Look, I gave you the bullet,
the gun, didn't I?
I told you to point and shoot.
So now you're really going to point
the gun at me and shoot?
Let's make a deal.
You can kill 3-4 more guys.
I'll take the fall for you.
I'll go to jail in your place.
I'll take your punishment
on your behalf, my brother.
Forgive me. Please don't shoot.
Hands up!
Once more, once more.
- What are you doing? Stop that!
- Oi, concentrate!
I am, I am.
The fan has turned on.
All this air... What's happening?
Oh my hair. No.
This fan is sucking us in!
What is happening?
You hold on to me!
Grab something, anything!
Or else this fan will suck us
in and kill us all!
Who turned the fan on at full speed?!
What do I grab on to?
Oh man.
What the hell is happening?
How's that?
Interpol, let go of the pole
and grab this instead.
My pant.
Don't pull my pants.
- Don't let go.
- Don't fart, please!
Don't pull my pants!
I m not wearing any underwear!
Baby, I don't want to die!
No, no, no!
Kaanchi!
Please save me.
No. Grab my hand.
Jalabuddin, don't let go of my hand.
Kaanchi!
My hand is slipping.
No!
Kaanchi!
- No.
- Jalabuddin, I love you!
Kaanchi! I can't live without you!
Kaanchi! Kaanchi! Kaanchi!
My Kaanchi!
Thank you.
Thank you.
Kaanchi!
- Kaanchi?!
- Mine...!!
We are safe. Everyone's safe.
Is everyone okay, guys?
What the hell were you doing with her?
I wasn't kissing her, she was kissing me!
I was just giving her a return gift.
I love return gifts!
Kaanchi, how could you?
Oh, look they're fighting!
It started again!
Grab him.
- Grab him.
- Grab on to each other.
Grab on to each other.
- Grab on to each other's legs.
- Hey, let of my legs!
- Let go of my pants.
- Why is everyone grabbing on to me?
Let go. Let go. Let go.
Don't let go. Don't let go.
I don't want to die.
Gotcha.
Batuk Patel, we are going to die.
Lucy, let go of me.
Your legs saved me.
- Thank you.
- Hey, don t kiss my legs!
- Someone help ne.
- Let of my leg!
Jalbhushan, don't let go of the hand.
- All of us will die.
- He is the killer, stupid!
He can't be trusted.
Let go of me.
Don't let go. Don't let go of me.
Keep holding on to each other's legs.
Such long legs.
Did you buy these legs in bulk?
Dhagdu sir will save us!!!
Now we have to save Dhagdu.
Stop it. Stop it please.
- Help.
- Let go of my leg.
We're all going to die!
Don't you get it?
We are all going to die.
Who is going to save us now?
My hand is also slipping!
It stopped again.
We are safe. We are safe.
Thank God.
- How did we suddenly come down to earth?
- Baba, Bhiddu, go ahead and arrest them.
Let's get out of here
before someone turns on the fan again.
Hurry up.
- Let s teach them a lesson.
- Thank goodness we are alive!
We're safe, we're all safe!
- Thank God!
- Wait, if all of us are here...
Then who saved us?
Who is he?
I'm Jalal aka Jolly.
Another Jolly?
The real Jolly.
Fourth Jolly?
You are a tad late, but...
welcome, welcome.
Where did this fourth Jolly come from?
Where did he come from?
AYEEEEE!
Yes, he's the real Jolly.
He's indeed the real Jolly.
The bad news for you is that...
I'm the real Jolly.
But the good news is that...
I don't want the 69 billion pounds.
- What!
- What is he even saying huh?
I have an empire of 169 billion pounds myself.
Wow!
So take these 69 billion pounds
and split it among yourselves...
And keep the change.
Yay!
- Amazing!
- Cheers!
Keep the change!
- Do we get a share as well?
- What are you saying?!
Awesome!
Congratulations.
- Yayyyy!
- Hurray!
Hey, look, your Kaanchi's gone to him.
Huh, everyone's Kaanchi!
This is awesome, Baba!
Stay back.
- You stink!
- Do I?
Dude!
He just gave the money away!
We committed three murders
for no reason!
Guys, come here, take his blessings.
Sir, from now on,
we won't commit any murders.
Oh please, all the murders
you did were from behind anyway!
Dance, ladies, dance,
Do the Fugdi dance.
69 BILLION!!!
- Long live!!!
- Woohoo!!!
69 BILLION!!!
Congratulations, Baba.
- Congratulations, Bhiddu.
- Thank you sir.
You guys are back.
Thank you sir.
You guys don't do a bad job,
you fail because you've got
your names wrong.
From today, your names are changed.
From now on, you're Baba.
And you are... Bhiddu.
Sir, from which angle do
I even look like a Bhiddu?
And from which angle do
I look like a Baba to you, sir?
Want me to show you the angle?
- No, no, sir.
- Sir.
Let me share the story of Sasikala and me...
We got married
and were blessed with a child!
69 billion pounds were
split among 11 people,
our share came to 12.54 million pounds.
Now, about my friend
Jalabuddin's wedding:
He married Kaanchi, my rented wife and
they too received 12.54 billion pounds,
and started a Jolly-ful life together.
Jalbhushan and Dev aren't
in prison for a long time,
they're in there for a very long time.
Because every time
they were called for the hearing,
Jalbhushan would fall asleep
and the judge would get up and leave.
Batuk Patel and Akhiri Pasta ended
their feud by marrying each other's sisters.
Those who used
to call each other names
ended up becoming brothers-in-law instead.
Zara didn't settle for the
69 billion pound position,
because she had her eyes on the
169 billion pound position,
so, she chose to marry the real Jolly.
The moral of the story?
There's a fake Jolly hidden inside
all of us that craves money.
But the real hunger?
It's only truly satisfied
when you're having a Jolly good time.
We all wish you a heart that's always
'Housefull' and overflowing
with joyful 'Jolly' moments!