How to Please a Woman (2022) Movie Script
1
(WAVES CRASHING)
(WAVES CONTINUE CRASHING)
# MAT MCHUGH: Loneliness
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Blast it. Who's got the vinegar?
Yep.
Well, I need something.
It's really stinging.
You should wee on it.
(LAUGHS) I don't think I
could manage the angle.
I could. No, thanks.
It's fine.
Oh, go on, give us a shot.
I don't want you to wee on me.
So, what do you want
for your birthday?
To not be having another birthday.
All right, gotta go.
I've got to be at work by eight.
Oh, I thought you had the day off
today. Yeah, that turned into
a half day off. Happy birthday me!
Mm.
Bye. Bye.
Do you think she suspects anything?
GIRL (OVER PHONE):
Happy birthday, Mum. Thanks.
So you're old enough
to retire now, right?
(CHUCKLES) Ha-ha, Chloe.
There's no way they can cope without
me. I can't even get a full day off.
And is Dad spoiling you?
Oh, he will, don't you worry.
Oh, it's just started snowing here.
London is so amazing.
I can't believe I had
to grow up in Australia.
Thanks, Dad.
Oh, Mum, hey, sorry, I've got to go.
Oh. But have a great birthday.
Already? Oh.
Love you.
Bye, Dad.
Bye, honey.
She seems happy. I hope that
doesn't mean she's gonna stay.
Of course she's happy.
She's having a great time
ignoring her studies.
Just stop that, please.
I love this stuff! Oh.
Lack of food waste,
high nutrition profile
and portion control.
It's so good you're doing it.
Wanna open that?
Go on, spoil yourself.
Happy birthday.
Lovely.
Now, can we go?
I've got court first thing.
Sorry.
(KEYS JANGLING)
Hey, I hope you don't mind, but I've
just very quickly separated out
the ones that don't qualify
for business recovery.
MAN: Dina!
Thanks.
I'm under the pump on that, um...
removers there.
"Pleased To Move You."
We need to file for insolvency
like yesterday.
Got it.
Where's the rest of it?
Er, left it on-site.
So could you...
I'm really busy right now. I was
due to finish at lunch time today,
and I do have a client report
to finalise.
It will only take you a minute.
Gina? Thanks.
I - that's - yeah.
(SIGHS)
Hello?
Hello?
(DOOR RATTLING, SLIDING OPEN)
Whoa! Hey, hey, Ben!
Sorry.
Ben, watch where you're going.
Did you get your driver's licence
on the dark net?
You're really gonna have to learn
how to reverse in here.
I don't like reversing.
It's easy. It's like going forwards,
except backwards.
Can't even do that.
We've been waiting for
someone to show up.
I just came to get a file that
my colleague left behind.
Tea? Biscuit?
Oh, er, well, no.
I'm actually on a bit of a -
well, it's a diet box.
He makes his own ginger snaps.
Kinda chewy in the middle,
but just the right amount
of bite in the bite.
If you don't mind, I'll just
collect the paperwork.
You have no idea what
you're missing out on.
I don't know what file
you're talking about.
Well, I can see it. It's just -
Oh, you're the one
that's gonna shut us down.
Oh, no. I just do the organising
and the things that other
people forget to do
like bringing such paperwork
back to the office.
You know, if you file that today,
we're all out.
Boys are owed money.
Will see none of it.
I'm really not the person
who makes those decision.
I just need the paperwork.
Well, you can't have it.
If you don't let me
have the paperwork,
I can't tell if we're able to help.
What, you can help us?
I love a good spreadsheet.
Well...
you won't like this one.
I wonder what she means
by loving a spreadsheet.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Gina.
I think you must have the wrong Gina.
Er, Gina Henderson?
Yes.
Um...
Happy birthday.
(SPEAKER BEEPS)
(MUSIC PLAYING)
Er, stop that.
Now, please.
(MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)
Please.
Don't you like it?
Oh, no, you're very good. Just...
Please.
Are you sure you want me to stop?
I-I'm sorry. Um...
(SPEAKER BEEPING, MUSIC STOPS)
I don't think you understand.
I'm your birthday present.
Well, could you put that
back on, please?
And re-buckle your belt.
Well, you've got me for two hours.
Two hours?
How long does it take you
to get undressed?
Well, I undress the way
you want me to undress.
And then I'll do anything
that you want me to do.
Anything.
I'm very open-minded.
Anything?
Totally.
Really?
Completely.
Do you think you could
clean my house?
What?
Well, you said...
anything.
Yeah, not that.
You said you'd do whatever I wanted.
No way, man.
This is a prepaid service, right?
So I think that's a contract
in sales terms.
Come on. Are you sure
you wouldn't just...
rather I just take my clothes off?
I'm married.
It doesn't stop most people.
Could you start by doing the floor?
# ABBE MAY: Pony
You're enjoying this.
(IRON HISSING)
I'm not.
It's not illegal to look, you know?
# Someone who knows how to ride
# Without evening falling off
# Gotta be compatible
# Takes me to my limits
# Let's do it...
Could you do the living room?
# Ride it, my pony
# My saddle's waiting
# Come and jump on it #
(MUSIC PLAYING)
(EXHALES)
Here, let me show you.
You can't just rub away at it
and hope for the best. You have to...
be gentle. Yeah.
So-so go in circles.
Not so fast. Slowly.
Start gently.
Circles.
That's your two hours.
Yep. Thanks.
Um, it was, er, so not my pleasure.
(LAUGHS)
Happy birthday.
Oh, yep.
I'll, um... I'll let myself out.
Yeah.
(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)
They want me to be equity partner.
Why didn't you say?
I'm telling you now. (CHUCKLES)
Didn't wanna jinx it.
That's fantastic.
You've worked so hard.
You'll be perfect.
I've never slept with
a senior partner before.
(CHUCKLES)
Honey...
I've got a bit of a headache.
Can you get the light?
Good night.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
So...
was he gorgeous?
Thank you very much, everyone,
for the sex worker
you sent to my home address.
Come on, you sly dog.
No, no, I-I paid for
the premium version.
They said if you get that, you can
have anything you want. I...
Oh, my God.
So, what did you ask for?
I asked him to clean my house.
(LAUGHS) What?
What was I supposed to do?
Thank you for thinking of me,
but if I want that I'll find it
in my own marriage.
Farley was fantastic for that,
I'll have you know.
Farley was over a year ago. Some
things happen in their own time.
Yeah, no, I mean, she's right, guys.
It's not like any of us singles
are getting any.
Apart from you, of course, Hayley.
It does.
It sounds amazing, actually,
having a man clean your house.
Did he have a six-pack?
Oh, please tell me he at least
took his shirt off. Did he?
It was a four-pack.
Oh, yes! (CLAPPING)
Yes, Gina!
(ALL LAUGHING)
Whoo!
Brett, I was looking at
those removals figures
and I think we're missing
a bit of, um...
It's just fatty tissue.
Sorry.
So, um, I thought...
Oh. You know you haven't remembered
my birthday for five years.
There was a restructure.
My hands were tied.
I'm sorry.
You'll get picked up straight away.
There will be some sort of package.
Who else did you let go?
Just yourself at present.
Here's your copies.
Now I'm almost done reconfiguring
the report system, and you need
to get a social strategist.
Can I get you something, Gina?
Yeah, you can take your double
D cups and you can piss off
back to your own department.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
WOMAN: Do you think she's OK?
(EXHALES)
OK. I've got you a little
cheer up present.
Oh...
Now, it is a remote-controlled
internal vibrator.
So you wear it inside.
Oh, I...
No. It's movement controlled,
Bluetooth enabled.
It's amazing. I...
No, no, no.
I've got one.
It was a buy one, get one free
so this is for you.
Well, that-that is so lovely
of you to think of me.
No, I didn't think of you. I was
gonna give it to one of the others,
but clearly it has to be you.
Why? Why me?
Because you're gonna be stuck
at home by yourself all day,
so got to have something to do. OK.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Uh, hi. I think I left the speaker.
The bastards wanna charge me
200 bucks for what's like a...
50-dollar speaker, so...
Do you mind if I...?
No, come in.
Thanks.
Nah. I was a shit stripper.
Didn't even make it past my trial
week. I thought you were great.
You don't recognise me, do you?
From the moving company.
You're from 'Please To Move You'?
Well, no, not anymore.
No. Now we're folding.
So that's two jobs
I've lost in one week.
But I read the file.
That's not necessary.
There are things you can do
to turn that around.
Well, tell that to the dickheads
who decided we're not worth saving.
Oh, sorry.
Ah!
Ah.
200 bucks right there - that's...
What I could - I mean,
have you thought about
doing other work?
Yeah.
Cleaning?
Cleaning?
No, I can't.
Ah, so you'll take your clothes off
for strangers,
but God forbid if you have
to clean a woman's house.
I've just got to get back and help
fix the truck so they can sell it.
Ah. Yeah, I'm not the only one out of
work. You know, there's four of us.
Ah.
But thanks.
House cleaners?
I've never cleaned a house before.
It's gross.
Possibly shirtless cleaning.
If-if that's what the clients want.
Uh, I don't think that's gonna
work out so well for all of us.
What about the removals?
Oh, we'll do them.
Just if you don't get enough
removals bookings,
you'll have to clean.
And what about the shirt business?
Optional extra, billable.
Tom, what do you have to say about
your experience as a stripper?
Mate, you stripped?
Yeah, I only did it
for a little bit.
Did you feel exploited?
I loved it.
(LAUGHING) You must have
been pretty shit.
Fuck off, I was all right.
(LAUGHS) (LAUGHS)
How do you know about him
being a stripper?
Oh, er, my friends
booked him as a surprise...
surprise, uh, present.
I just think there are a lot of women
who really like the thought of a man
cleaning their house,
shirtless on request.
And I think they'll pay for it.
Is that all right with everyone?
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
Gina.
I would like to make an offer
on the removals company
'Pleased To Move You'.
We closed them down.
We do offer counselling,
you know that.
You didn't close them. I did.
Only, um, I didn't. (LAUGHS)
I decided they qualify
for business recovery.
Gina, that place is history.
And you can smell it on them
and the manager's like... 50.
I can't give you a company. Yes,
you can if it's not worth anything.
Hm, it's not that it's
worth nothing.
The company has assets - you know,
client base, corporate knowledge.
Truck, if I recall.
But I don't have any money yet.
Not on my own.
The creditors need 10% of assets
so if you can find a way
to come up with that,
it could be yours.
Could I pay in instalments?
I'd need a commission.
Gina, that is so brave.
True god.
You frickin' nailed it.
Where'd you find your cleaners?
Actually it's the, uh, stripper
you got me for my birthday.
The one with the four-pack?
The very same.
(CHUCKLES)
Hm. You still here?
Brett let me go.
There was a restructure. He had to.
Were you the only one?
Yep.
That's not a restructure.
That's age discrimination. That's
a problem. We can pursue that.
I wouldn't worry about it.
I'm setting up a different business.
What kind of business?
Removals.
Removals?
(CHUCKLES) Gina, do you know
what you're getting into?
It's fine. We already have the -
Is this some kind of scheme? Cos you
know this pyramid selling business -
some of them are just a scam.
It's perfectly fine.
I'm just helping them diversify
their service base.
Into what? What?
What?
Listen, it's the first day
and I'm-I'm-I'm late.
Yeah, just gotta, mm, run.
You remember how to clean
with a microfibre?
S shape.
What's a microfibre again?
OK, just ask her how she'd
like her house cleaned.
I'm sure she'll tell you.
Can I ask you, what did you
like when I was cleaning?
Cos I didn't know what
I was doing, so...
any pointers would be great.
Uh...
Well, you were good at
the skirting boards.
No, no, like...
what did you like?
Oh!
Er, do you remember what you did
with your shirt?
I took it off.
Yeah. And?
You put it in your back pocket.
Yeah, you could maybe try that again.
Oh.
Um, and, you know, leave it there.
Yeah, no problem.
Should I do the introductions for
you? No, no, no, I've got it,
I've got it. Yeah, I'm just
gonna stay here. All right.
All right. OK.
(CHUCKLES)
Elbow grease.
Yeah.
I've come to clean your house.
Good.
Great.
Um, do you wanna start in here?
(CLOCK TICKING)
(CHUCKLES)
(OBJECTS CLATTER)
Sorry.
You're gonna have to tell me
how to do some of this.
Oh.
Oh.
(CHUCKLES)
So, uh, where next?
Kitchen.
Yeah.
Just...
Thomas? Yeah.
Sorry, can I call you Tom?
Yeah. Tom, would you mind
taking your boots off, please?
Yes. Sorry.
Whoo.
(CHUCKLES)
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
(FRIDGE DOOR OPENS)
That is not happening ever again.
Sure thing, boss.
(MOTORCYCLE RIDING PAST)
(DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE)
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
(SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE)
Tom.
I got a promotion.
I have a boyfriend.
I brought ice cream.
I'm off dairy, Tom.
Oh. Um, are you off...
Chocolate Obsession?
Damn you.
(CHUCKLES)
So, um... is everything going OK?
With the - with the baby?
Is it going OK?
He is fine. Kicking like a bastard.
He?
Yeah.
Bye, Tom.
Yeah.
Bye.
He. (CHUCKLES)
(DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE)
(CHUCKLES)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Hello?
Hi, I was wondering if
I could make a booking
for one of those house
cleaners, please?
Yes. Yes.
I'm sorry, it's so noisy in here.
When would you like?
Sometime on Thursday.
OK.
Sorry, can - I -
can you say that again?
Um, hi. (LAUGHS)
Oh.
Excuse me.
Are you the one with the service?
Yes, I am. Can you just give me
a couple of minutes?
I'm just taking a booking.
I must have this house cleaner.
Oh.
I've heard it's very good.
I hear he leaves no surface
untouched,
gets into every crevice.
So I was wondering if you had
any availability on Thursday.
Excuse me. No, I'll take Thursday.
(SCREAMING AND LAUGHTER)
You did so good!
You know it's just
for cleaning, right?
I want what she had. Yeah, sorry,
but cleaning is just a cover.
(CHUCKLES)
That was a mistake.
That-That is not gonna happen again.
Would anyone like to book
a straight-up cleaning job?
Wanna get drunk? I have vodka.
No.
You'll get another job.
It won't be that hard.
Don't lie to me.
OK, because you're over 50
it's gonna be very hard.
I know.
Oh, I'm not gonna do it.
Why not?
(GASPS)
I couldn't ask those men to do that.
Actually, I think he was the one
who offered.
I just couldn't.
Oh, God.
You're so... British.
What does that mean?
This is a very good idea.
You're being so uptight.
Sorry.
(CHUCKLES)
(CAR BEEPS)
(EXHALES)
(SIGHS)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Shh-shh.
Does anyone still want
to make a booking?
Well, for cleaning or for sex?
Both.
(CHEERING AND LAUGHTER)
Obviously you don't have to
if you don't want to.
And, um, I have prepared
a whole redundancy package
for each of you.
That perhaps is the other option.
And if we want to?
Well, then, you just
go right ahead.
(CHUCKLES)
And you just ask your client if she'd
prefer to have her house cleaned
before or after.
(CHUCKLES)
Oh.
Don't look at me.
Well, then you could
just do the housework.
Business as usual.
Well, uh, so...
right, so, um...
quality control.
Um, obviously the cleaning
must be effective, and there must be
a minimum of one orgasm.
(LAUGHS)
You've thought of everything.
Do we count our own?
If we count hers and mine,
that's two, right?
That's a multiple?
Yours is irrelevant.
Is she serious?
I think she is.
I'm down for it. It will be
like career enhancement.
Dude, you can't hold down
a job to save your life.
You can't even keep
a driver's license.
It wasn't my fault.
It's never your fault.
What if you don't like her?
Your client?
Gina was pretty clear. If you don't
like anything about the session,
you can leave it.
Or what if she doesn't like us?
When I did my stripping week,
that was the worst bit.
You can be like really well-built.
If you're a stripper,
you can't just be a bit hot.
You have to be smoking.
If we're gonna sleep with people,
we'll have to be sex gods.
Sounds good.
I'm in.
Are you kidding? I'm in.
(CHUCKLES)
Steve?
I'll be your IT department,
at least to get you started.
I found this site.
Oh.
Jesus.
Is that shit even legal?
Yeah, that stripper joint
I worked for did that,
but they had some kind
of a special licence.
Apparently took them ages to get it.
Yeah, I've heard,
but we need to get started.
So if we did a website like this,
could we make the site owner
anonymous? Yeah, but you still need
search engine optimisation
with the right search words.
So, housecleaning.
Sex.
(CHUCKLES)
Pleasure.
You should be jotting this down.
Escorts who love your home.
(KEYBOARD BUTTONS CLACKING)
Um, integrity, safety.
Discretion.
Rock-solid.
Best ever root you'll get all year.
I thought we were all going round.
Yeah, integrity's good.
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)
(MUSIC STOPS)
Hi.
Hi.
Come in.
Thank you.
Right on time.
(CHUCKLES)
# MO'HORIZONS: Foto Viva.
(EXHALES)
Tom?
Would you like to dance?
Yeah. Sure thing.
Just stop that. It's fine.
# Fota viva, viva, viva
# Fota viva, viva, viva
# Da melodia que falava do futuro
# Que voce imaginou
# Do passado que voce nao viveu #
(DO YOU WANT ME? PLAYING)
Ah.
# Are you lonely, oh, my darling?
# Do you want me?
# Are you lonely, oh, my darling?
# Do you need me?
(STRAINS)
# I can tell by the look in your eyes
# I don't want your afters
# Don't you want me, my darling?
# Don't you want me tonight?
# I'm...
# All yours #
(SNORING)
Um, so I've been thinking.
And...
You see, I'm just not exactly sure
that I can reliably say that I know
how to please... a woman.
Well...
if you can say that...
..you're a better man than most.
Good.
What, Anthony? So-So he's big.
A jackhammer?
Oh. Oh, I am...
very sorry.
Yes, of course,
I completely understand.
Can we make it up to you in some way?
(I wasn't that bad.)
Very sorry once again.
Back to cleaning and removals, bro.
On my hot mother, I swear.
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
Pleased to Move You.
(CRUNCHING)
Really? Oh, that's just basic.
What else did he miss?
Dude.
Oh, he'll be back.
I understand. No charge.
Come on, fellas. Don't feel bad.
We all make mistakes.
Let's look at the positives here.
At least you're both in the shit.
I mean, it's not like
you're gonna sack them.
(SIGHS)
One of my members of staff is...
How shall I put this? He's, um...
very... well...
Endowed?
Oh, God. God's gift.
Yeah, he needs help from someone
who knows more than him.
Someone very...
very experienced.
(CHUCKLES)
Guys.
Just be cool.
Just be cool.
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
Could you teach him
to clean everything?
Nothing sexy. Just-just cleaning.
Everything.
Thoroughly.
Uh, because I am chairing
a board meeting at three.
Oh, yeah.
He will so be done by then.
It's just your place -
it's the perfect training ground.
Mm. OK.
Keep your clothes on.
Are you sure it will be good?
The cleaning?
The sex.
Of course.
What if he doesn't like me?
Why do you think he would like you?
It's been a little while
since I've, um...
Ah.
Now like quite a few years.
That happens. (CHUCKLES)
Quite a few.
(GROANING)
(CONTINUES GROANING)
Can we just stop?
Stop. OK.
Did you learn everything you know
from watching porn?
Porn is the exact opposite of what
good sex feels like for women.
Has no one ever told you that?
No.
Oh, God.
Um...
Uh, you just tell me
what I'm doing wrong
and I will listen.
You don't just listen
with your ears.
You listen with your body.
Now, every woman's body
is different.
So even if I teach you a technique,
you still have to listen each time.
Mm.
What do you have to do
every single time?
Have to, um, listen
to your body with my body.
So I'm pretty successful at work,
in pretty much everything in life,
except one thing.
Let me guess.
Yeah, well, let's just say that
not all of my sexual experiences
have been enjoyable.
You don't have to do this
if you don't want to.
No, I've thought about it a lot.
I don't want a relationship
and I don't like the idea
of an online hook-up,
and I've realised that
I don't wanna give up on sex
forever, so... (CHUCKLES)
Well, you can take it gently.
You could, like, start with...
..a foot rub, and then move
onto a little massage,
and then just see if you want
to take it any further.
Can we do that?
Sure.
Glass of wine?
W-What do you like to drink?
Gin. I might have to
slam a few first
to forget myself to get started.
You know, I think you are
here to remember yourself.
Yeah. Thanks.
You know what?
Yeah, I'll just do it.
Oh.
Not very good at letting other
people do things for you, are you?
Er, we need a different cloth.
Yep, I'll get it.
No, no, it's fine.
What does your husband do?
Er, did you mean to ask
what do I do?
I'm a corporate lawyer.
He is a surgeon.
Good with his hands?
(SCOFFS)
He used to be.
I'm sorry. I didn't realise
he's not around.
Oh, no, no, no. He is around.
It's just that we don't...
Oh.
..you know, kind of...
(SIGHS)
Um, you can start on the bath.
Yeah. Yeah.
It's OK.
The same with my girlfriend,
or my ex. We stopped, as well.
Was that just because
it wasn't very good?
Oh, no, no, it was great.
But it was always up to me.
I always had to initiate.
The thing is, um...
Well, we are having a baby.
Congratulations.
Yeah.
Well, she's having a baby
without me.
Little man.
Oh.
Yeah.
Yeah, I wish she'd let me
be the dad. I am the dad.
I just really wanna be the dad.
I think I have to grow up a bit.
I need to get my shit together.
I'm sure you will.
You'll get there.
Yeah.
If I am paying for it,
I don't want ordinary orgasm.
I can sort one of those out
for myself.
And I don't one of those naughty
ones that sneak up on you
and then fizzle out.
I want orgasm with lots of edging.
Eased towards it...
then back off.
Ease up to it again...
..then back off. You know.
A big...
delicious lead up, and then...
(EXHALES)
..total annihilation.
OK.
And anything else?
Snow angel.
My all-time go to favourite.
That can't be comfortable.
I don't know.
Looks all right for her.
Bloke's got quite a hard job,
though. She is upside down.
No, she's just lying back.
He's the one doing all the holding.
No, no, that is definitely
upside down.
She can't even move.
(CLEARS THROAT)
Stop looking.
I was just going to do the...
license... (CHUCKLES)
..application.
Women are quite tricky to please.
(CHUCKLES)
They all seem to say completely
different things.
It's very inconsistent.
You're terrible for you.
I'm really not sure
I'm cut out for this.
Close your eyes.
(CHUCKLES)
That's silly.
No, no, trust me.
Just close your eyes
and imagine you're a woman about
to contact this business.
Come on, come on.
All right.
You heard about the company...
Mm-hm. ..and you're intrigued.
Why are you so interested?
I, uh... (CHUCKLES)
I don't know why. I just am.
Can't help it.
I don't even want to be.
So what do you do about it?
I look it up...
..secretly.
And?
(EXHALES)
I need to know I'm talking
to a woman.
I don't want to speak to a man
about this. Good.
So you call up, you get a woman
and she asks you what you want.
What you really want.
Maybe she just wants to be touched.
Feel this.
What does it tell you?
You're trying to teach me something.
(CLEARS THROAT)
That's what my words are saying.
Feel my hand.
What's it telling you?
It's warm.
Go on.
It's like...
It's like you're inviting me some.
Pleased to see me.
Good.
Good.
Now we can start.
(SQUEAKING)
So, what did you mean by,
you know, it was always up to you?
Oh, yeah.
Well, even before we broke up
we'd stopped having sex.
I really love it when
a woman initiates,
and she never would.
It's so hot when a woman
asks me for something.
(SQUEAKING)
Could you get that dark
blue cloth, please?
OK, sure.
(BIRDS SQUAWKING)
(SIGHS)
So... (CLEARS THROAT)
..what would you like
to do for dinner?
I would like you to take me out.
Mm.
And after that...
..I'd like to skip dessert.
I think that we should
come straight home...
and have a nude swim.
And then...
..I would like to lie down on
one of the sun lounges and...
I would like you to go down on me.
And if you like...
..I could return the favour.
Could we skip dinner?
(LAUGHS)
Yeah, nah.
I wanna be taken out first.
# RUBY VELLE AND THE SOULPHONICS:
It's About Time
# World, world, world
# Where have we been?
# What have we got?
# Will the story of our future
be a new tune?
# Or the same old song?
# Because who we are
# Only history knows
# But where we are going
# Oh, it hasn't fully,
fully been told
# And it's about time
# That we decide together
# That our fight for freedom
# Cannot last forever
# And it's about time
# We turn this world on a dime
(MOBILE PHONE CLICKING)
# Listen...
Gina?
# It's about time #
Gina?
What's the occasion?
# Where we've been
# Floatin' down a river
# With our hands tied
# While further downstream...
I'll make us some pasta.
# ..and lies divide
# And now it's only right
# We put our words on the line
# And we decide together, baby
# That it's about time #
You said I never helped
with the housework.
Tom, no.
Well, I can do it now.
Top to bottom.
Let me show you. No, it's OK.
You must be Tom. I'm Gary.
How's the little man?
Growing.
Um...
Nice to meet you, mate.
We're fine.
Don't worry. I'll call you.
See ya. Bye, Tom.
(EXHALES)
# AGNES OBEL: Dorian
# They won't know who we are
# So we both can pretend
# It's written on the mountains
# A line that never ends
# As the devil spoke we spilled out
on the floor
# And the pieces broke
# And the people wanted more
# And the rugged wheel is turning
# Another round
# Dorian, carry on
# Will you ever let us carry on? #
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Hi. Wait. Wait.
Wait. I-I know how to clean
your place properly now.
From top to bottom. And if you
don't let me in and let me do it,
I might lose my job.
Please, please, please.
Please let me come in and clean.
I couldn't quite hear that last bit.
Could you just repeat that?
(CHUCKLES
Please, please, please let me
come in and clean your house.
(SIGHS)
Thank you.
Are they? I had actually forgotten...
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
..how good my body can feel.
Hang on, Sandra.
(RINGING CONTINUES)
I'm pleased for you
because this business...
Pleased To Move You.
Could you please hold?
Sometimes you just need several
great Chads to get your mojo back.
(TELEPHONE BEEPING)
I can't remember ever
feeling this good.
(INDISTINCT)
(TELEPHONE CONTINUES BEEPING)
Hello. (CLEARS THROAT)
This is Steve.
I don't usually answer
these phones. Um...
so please be gentle with me.
It's just unbelievable.
Mm.
(SNIFFLES)
Gina, I cannot recommend it
highly enough.
I just... I feel so alive.
(LINE CUTS)
Are you there?
Um, yeah, we can do that.
Would you mind if I called you back?
No, no, it's OK, it's OK.
I'll, uh, just check the,
uh, the bookings.
Um, yeah, just tell you me a little
bit more about yourself.
(SNIFFLES)
(EXHALES)
Lovely spot.
Look, I-I don't think I
should be doing the phones.
Did she make a booking?
Yep.
Who did you match her up with?
Actually it was me.
Well, I tried to talk her into
someone else, but she wanted
someone her own age and she liked
the sound of my voice, so...
You're married.
Ah, yeah, um... about that.
It's, um... it's real.
I...
I just kept thinking
she'd come back, so...
so I waited.
Are you still waiting?
No.
But you're still wearing the ring.
(EXHALES)
Yeah, well, look, imagine this.
You're moving furniture one moment,
trying to get some money together
and get on with your life,
and the next moment...
the entire team has been converted
into sexy cleaners.
You should have said.
I was saving you from trying
to wheel me out along
with the rest of them.
I mean, no one wants this
scrubbing their kitchen bench.
It sounds like somebody does.
She'll regret it when she sees me.
Aw, don't be silly.
I'm sure the pair of you will
have a terrific time of it.
(SIGHS)
(CAR DOOR OPENS)
(CLEARS THROAT)
Hi. Hello.
Do you only employ men
as your, um...
Sex professionals -
that's what we call them. Right.
I don't - I don't have any women.
Oh, that's OK.
I just thought I'd ask.
I don't know.
Since the kids are gone, there's
a bit more time to take notice
of what's going on with me.
And especially after
some of the bookings,
I am feeling all kinds of things
for all kinds of people.
You sound like a young person.
(LAUGHS)
But if I'm gonna try being with
a woman for the first time,
I'd prefer it to be with someone
who knows what she's doing,
who can forgive me if-if I'm wrong
and I want to stop halfway through.
I'm being ridiculous, aren't I?
No, you're not.
Can you leave it with me?
Thank you.
Ah.
Would you mind not mentioning
this to Brett?
Yes, as long as that's mutual.
Uh...
I suppose I'm (CHUCKLES)
here for a booking.
You don't need us. I've seen what
happens when you walk into a room.
(CHUCKLES)
I...
I don't like my breasts
to be touched.
I've got really insensitive nipples
so when they get a lot of attention
I feel nothing.
Well, left out, really.
So you want to pay for
someone who will...
..ignore your breasts.
Yes.
Not all of my sexual experiences
have been satisfying.
And I'll pay for some that are,
if it means good sex.
People underestimate me.
And they don't know that
I reconfigured the entire
apex programme to integrate
both platforms.
That day the only thing anyone said
was about what I looked like,
including you.
I'm sorry about that.
It's fine.
I mean -
No, it's really not.
I'm used to it.
It happens every day.
But it's the shit sex
that's wearing thin.
(CHUCKLES)
You have a lifetime of sex ahead
of you and it should be good.
You're gonna have to learn
to ask for what you want.
It's never too late to start.
I just want a decent root.
Yep.
(CAR DOOR OPENS)
I know. I was terrible,
but I can do so much better.
Good for you.
I've been working on some moves.
Please let me show you.
Please.
So what was that
Incredible Hulk thing you did
with your clothes again?
Light years beyond that.
Can you, for five minutes straight,
move your mouth and your tongue
in the exact same way?
Yes.
Yes, yes, I can, I can.
God damn.
Anthony.
He ironed everything.
Everything.
I didn't know we offered ironing.
I asked and away he went.
Oh.
So did he take care
of anything else?
Mm-hm.
I should have done this years ago.
(LAUGHTER)
(EXHALES)
(VIBRATOR VIBRATING)
(VIBRATING CONTINUES)
(VIBRATING INTENSIFIES)
(VIBRATING STOPS)
(SIGHS)
Ah.
(MOANS)
(GASPS, MOANS)
Mm.
(DOOR SLIDING OPEN)
(GASPS)
Hi.
Hi. (SNIFFS)
Where is everybody?
They stopped for sausage rolls.
Couldn't bear it. Croissant?
No, thank you.
Home-made.
(CHUCKLES) Thanks.
Well, if you change your mind.
I need to ask you something.
(CLEARS THROAT) What's this?
Hm, I don't know.
Weird.
Mm.
So, I wanna talk to you
about something.
(CLEARS THROAT)
Go ahead.
I've been thinking.
I get a lot of thinking done
about two in the morning.
I think a lot more about this job
than my... my old one.
It's about the business model.
I don't think it's sustainable.
If you really think about it.
Oh.
Keep going, if you don't mind.
It's, uh...
It's a high-end...
..one-off model.
You can't just...
replicate the transactions.
Yeah, I know.
Should I go a bit faster?
Yeah.
(EXHALES)
(MOANS) Oh, no, no, that's too fast.
That's too fast.
Oh, OK. Cool, I'll just...
OK.
Fine. Yeah. (GASPS)
Just cruise.
(EXHALES)
(EXHALES)
Slower.
Really cruising.
Oh.
(MOANS)
(MOANS)
(EXHALING)
(EXHALES)
(EXHALES)
(EXHALES)
Oh!
(GASPS)
One is never enough.
(GASPS)
# THE PHANTOMS: Good As Gold
# Nah, nah, nah, nah-nah-nah-nah... #
Whoa. That's gorgeous.
What's going on?
Nothing.
# Whoo-hoo, I gonna get
what I want today
# Whoo-hoo, it's just
the way that I roll
# Whoo-hoo, I'm gonna
kick this out my way
# Whoo-hoo
# Yeah, I'm as good as gold
# Nah, nah, nah, nah-nah-nah-nah-nah
# Nah, nah, nah, nah-nah-nah #
You got laid. Finally.
It's none of your business.
Sorry, your business is
always my business.
(LAUGHS)
Did you forget your moisturiser?
Mm, yeah.
Use my coconut oil.
Thanks.
You know, that is an
excellent lubricant.
It goes on easy, smells amazing,
tastes amazing, lasts forever
and it is a healthy fat, so you
can just pop it in your stir-fry.
Thank you, Sandra.
(SNIFFS, INHALES)
(ALL GIGGLING)
I don't usually... Me neither.
..use that, and...
actually that was my first time.
It was the first time for both
of us.
Was it horrible?
No. Good.
I can live with that,
as long as it wasn't horrible.
OK, I got your rose petals,
your 85% chocolate, your champagne,
strawberries, massage oil, condoms -
so many condoms - and lubricant.
Apparently silicone
is the way to go.
How about organic coconut oil?
Oh, OK.
(COMPUTER CHIMES)
Oh, that'll be a booking for me.
In your dreams, bro.
(COMPUTER BUZZES)
It's not loading.
Yeah, the whole system is not
coping. We need an upgrade.
We can't afford it. If I can't make
the payments, they take the company
off me. Gina, the door.
I'm looking for Gina Henderson.
Yeah, that-that's me.
Can I help you?
You're in charge here?
I am.
Well, looks like I found exactly
who I'm looking for.
(SPEAKER BEEPS)
(SLOW MUSIC PLAYING)
(SPEAKER BEEPING)
Not many places take on guys.
I wondered if you might like
to increase the team.
Oh, no. No, mate, we're-we're full.
Yeah, you should just piss off
some place else.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sorry, what was your name?
It's Mike.
Hi, Mike.
I'm Gina.
I know.
Guys, there is no need to be rude.
Just basic politeness.
He was basic.
He was quite rude.
He threw his top off in front of us.
A little bit desperate.
What? He looked all - Manners.
You can file that, please,
under M.
M for Mike. Not-not good.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Hey.
How's things?
Great.
(WATER SLOSHING)
I think I'm jealous.
Of?
You're astonishing sex life.
Yeah, well, you should try
the morning afters.
I'm perfectly clear
with them every time -
"This is a one-off."
What happens when you don't
want it to be a one-off?
It's too risky.
Can I ask you to do
something for me?
Will be as much fun as last time?
That's up to you.
I think I could start to like this.
(CHUCKLES) OK.
(DOG BARKS, GROWLS)
Hi!
Hi.
I've come to clean your house.
I didn't know you clean houses.
Oh. (LAUGHS)
Are you gonna let me in or...?
(LAUGHS) Sorry.
(CHUCKLES)
Cute dog.
Yeah. Leo.
Hey, good boy.
Um, it's ten in the morning.
Oh. Egg cups?
(CHUCKLES)
(CORK SQUEAKS, POPS)
Lemon.
(EXHALES)
And salt.
(GULPS)
(SUCKS)
It's your turn.
(CLEARS THROAT)
Women. Women.
Mm.
Uh-uh. I've already done there.
You need to find somewhere new.
(CHUCKLES)
(BOTH GIGGLE)
Mm!
(BOTH LAUGH)
Shall we go again?
Yeah.
(BOTH LAUGH)
(EGG CUPS CLINKING)
Just a little.
Uh-huh, yeah. No, I have the number.
I'm just trying to find it.
Is there somewhere you want this?
No, look, I-I am very sorry, OK.
I will personally follow up
for you, OK?
I'll just count it out.
My assistant's very busy.
He may have missed something.
Two.
Uh, yeah. No, I'll hold, yeah.
Three. Four.
Five.
ALICE: Get it, girl.
(HANDS CLAP)
Yeah, no, no, I'm still here.
(MOBILE PHONE RINGING)
Hey, Gina! I just thought I'd
let you know that I am now
the official owner of this company.
Yes!
Final payment complete.
Hooray!
(LAUGHS)
# Lift your head up, lift your head
up to the sky
# Don't think tomorrow... #
Hey!
(ALL CHEERING)
Hoorah!
(CHEERING CONTINUES)
Hayley told me so I'm showed up.
Yeah, and then she got everyone
drunk on the way here.
(LAUGHS) It wasn't hard.
Congratulations. Oh!
Oh, let me please take this off.
Madam.
I couldn't do it - the booking.
I know.
I checked.
You checked. (CHUCKLES)
You should have said if you didn't
want to do. No, I did want to...
until I got to the car park
and I just -
then I just drove straight home
and ate two litres of ice cream
in the dark. I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm not.
(LAUGHTER)
(LAUGHTER)
Whoo!
Hey, Gina, get over here!
(CHEERING)
And what's going on with you two?
I'm risking it.
I really like her.
Mm! Mm!
(LAUGHS)
Geronimo!
(SCREAMS)
# Lift your head up, lift your head
up to the sky
# Don't think about tomorrow
(CHEERING)
(CHEERING CONTINUES)
# Lift your head up to the sky
# Don't you doubt it, worry about
it, you're gonna be all right
# Lift your head, head up
(SCREAMING)
# Lift it up, up
# It, don't worry about it
# Lift your, lift your head
# Lift your head up,
lift your head up to the sky
# Don't you doubt it, worry about it
# You're gonna be all right #
(BOTTLE CONTENTS RATTLING)
Are you hung over?
Yes, I am.
Do you know it's been years
since we've had sex?
(CHUCKLES) Don't be so dramatic.
It's been a couple of years now,
I think.
G, it has not been two years.
Yeah, there was Bali.
And when we came home from Bali.
And then?
Is there something you want
to tell me?
No.
If I so much as look at you,
you are so repelled you go
running from the room.
Running to whoever it is who is
so much more attractive than me.
That's not true. I'm not seeing
anyone else and I never have.
So you expect me to believe
that you are perfectly happy
just not having sex
with anyone, ever?
Well, no. No, I'm not -
OK, I'm not perfectly happy.
I just...
I just seem to have lost...
Lost what?
Oh. I'm tired.
You're always tired.
(SIGHS)
Are you sick? No, I'm not sick.
I got checked.
What for?
I'm fine.
Everything is fine.
We have your prescription.
Gina.
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
I just don't feel like it.
You sure?
Yeah.
I'm sure.
(CLEARS THROAT)
Er, hi there. I'm Tom from
Ple-Pleased To Move You,
and I'm looking forward
to making sure
you get everything you need -
you need - you need - you need...
Oh, for fuck sake.
Now it's totally fried.
What do you mean "fried"?
I don't know.
It's thoroughly shitting itself.
I just don't know why
it's still happening. And the
booking system is down. I'll fix it.
No, you don't you touch it.
You will fuck it.
OK, we'll just turn it off
and turn it back on again.
Hi. It's Gina.
I need your brains.
(BUTTONS CLACKING)
Should she be allowed in there?
Alice is smarter than all of us put
together. If anyone can sort this,
she can.
You guys need to upgrade.
I don't know who set this up,
but I can sort it out for you.
Well, um...
a little room. Yeah.
Come on, guys.
Just take it easy.
She knows what she's doing.
Sorry. Yeah, no, I'll...
I'll be back here.
Looking for something special?
Yeah.
It's or my wife.
Ah.
In the shit, are ya?
(CHUCKLES) You could say that.
Good investment, then.
You know you should do?
Clean the house. Gets you in
the good books every time.
Thanks. (SCANNER BEEPS)
I'm good.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Well, not heaps...
(COMPUTER CHIMES)
You are good to go.
Whoo-hoo! Nice.
Are we missing anything?
Um...
Oh, yeah. It looks like you had two
movers booked for half an hour ago.
Do you wanna lift?
Oh, yeah. Thanks.
Cool.
I'll do the boxes, then, eh?
It's still important.
(PAPER RUSTLES)
What's this?
Are you gonna tell me what's in it?
I really think it's for the best.
Please don't do this.
I really shouldn't -
Please don't be like that.
That is completely unnecessary.
Is it because I, you know, um...
Before with the... croissants?
No.
No, that was a career highlight.
But I think it's time I did
my own thing for a while.
You're all set up now.
It's been the greatest pleasure.
Au revoir.
(SIGHS)
(CAR HORN HONKS)
(BLOWS)
(WATER RUNS, STOPS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(BOTTLE CAP CLATTERS)
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
Gina!
Steve?
Gina!
(TELEPHONE CONTINUES RINGING)
(LINE RINGING)
Pleased To Move You.
You've got Benjamin.
Phone. I hope you clean faster than
you pick up the phone, mate.
I need to make a booking for today.
Cool. So, can I just clarify,
is it for yourself?
No, well, it's for my wife.
OK. But will you be there?
Yeah, only if you come now.
I want it to be a surprise.
A surprise?
For your wife and you?
I mean, that's cool
and everything, man.
Um, I just - can I ask
how you heard about us?
Listen, mate, I'm just trying to
work out how to please my wife.
It's not that easy. So either you
come now or I'm gonna do it myself.
Um, I mean,
I'm the only one free, but -
Can we just get on with this?
Yep.
Oh, do you want me to get started?
Yeah. I'm getting a beer.
Uh... you wife...
Um... are you sure?
Yes, mate. Go for it.
OK.
(CLEARS THROAT)
Oh, are you good with music?
Whatever.
(INHALES)
(EXHALES)
(SPEAKER BEEPS)
# TOM JONES: Sex Bomb
Mm.
Mm.
# Aw, baby
# Yeah, ooh, yeah
# Ha, listen to this
# Spy on me, baby, use satellite
# Infrared to see me move
through the night
# So I can't deny or lie
# Cos you're the only one
to make me fly
# (You know what you are, you are a)
Sex bomb, sex bomb
# Yeah, you're my sex bomb
# You can give it to me when
I need to come along
# Sex bomb, sex bomb, (Yeah)
You're my sex bomb
# And, baby, you can turn me on
# (Turn me on, darling)
Sex bomb, sex bomb
# You're my sex bomb... #
Sir, your beer.
What the fuck are you doing?
I'm removing my trousers.
Ben?
Gina.
Oh.
(SPEAKER BEEPS, MUSIC STOPS PLAYING)
What, do you know this guy?
Pull your pants up.
Oh, don't get all private now, mate.
Ben, what are you doing here?
I got a booking.
(ZIPPING FLIES)
Do you know something about this?
Dude, she owns the company.
Ben, this is Adrian, my husband.
He doesn't know.
Do you think I should go?
Mm. Mm.
OK, uh, excuse, um...
(CAR OPENS, CLOSES)
This is the...
removal thing?
I employ men
to pleasure women and
to clean their houses.
Some women just take the house clean
for the sheer the pleasure
of watching men do the jobs
they spend a lifetime hating.
Does anyone know about this?
Just the clients.
We're very private.
Un-fucking-believable.
(SIGHS)
(BANGING ON DOOR)
Oh, how did you get my home address?
Don't turn up at my house.
Email me your resume, new photos
and your penis size,
and do not overestimate, please.
We don't care as much as you think.
She wants my penis size.
Gina Henderson?
Would you accompany me back
to the station to answer
some questions, please?
Shit.
The legal representative
for Gina Henderson.
Can you describe to me the exact
nature of the business,
Please To Move You? Until we know
if any charges are being pressed,
my client will not be answering
any of your questions.
Well, that may be the case, but
for operating without a licence
you will be fined under section 23
of the Prostitution Act.
Look, this whole thing
is just a big mistake.
The business known as
Pleased To Move You
will cease operations immediately.
As I said, my client will not be
answering any of your questions.
We do removals, clearances,
domestic cleaning and, uh,
sexual services.
If the client wants, uh.
The cleaning acts as a cover?
No. No, we do the cleaning.
I train them myself.
We polish sinks, we clean toilets,
scrub the grout on your tiles.
Yeah, we clean our houses and,
you know, and... give orgasms.
You know, just not necessarily
in that order.
You admit to running a business
that charges for sex.
And cleaning.
Don't forget the cleaning.
Why do men always forget
the cleaning?
Hm. My client is under extreme
duress right now.
You were operating an enterprise
where women engage
in sexual misconduct
under the guise of hiring
domestic services.
That is pure conjecture.
It is not misconduct.
We are fulfilling a need
for all those women
who feel sexually invisible,
whose husbands never learned
how to take a hit for the team.
We're there for those who like
to climax more than once,
and for those who are sick
of doing it alone.
But mostly we are here because,
contrary to appearances,
we haven't given up on sex,
and we're sick of cleaning the house.
ALL: Yes! (CHUCKLING)
Did you feel forced at any time?
Were you ever harmed or...?
I don't think so, checking in,
but, um...
that'll be a no.
Oh.
It says here your job is to...
"give orgasms."
It's not actually illegal.
We checked.
We applied for a licence
and everything. Mm. Mm.
And we do cleaning.
You've just admitted to operating
without a licence
in what is a highly
regulated industry.
The fine will be in the tens
of thousands of dollars.
I don't want you to pay it.
Well, I'm gonna have to.
It's not like you've got a job.
We are just gonna go home,
and I will sort everything out.
Don't want that.
(SIGHS)
Now's not the time, Gina.
I'm not going back.
There's no need to be hysterical.
I am not.
But you are.
This is hysterical behaviour.
Adrian, would you just fuck off?
All right, I will.
I will fuck off.
Fuck off home without you.
I'm not gonna come back to find out
if you've changed your mind.
And you can pay the fine by
yourself - you do realise that.
Absolutely.
(DOOR OPENS)
Do you know how good it is
to sleep with someone
who's more interested in you
than in how they look naked?
This has been like the
best gap year ever.
Yes. Do you have any
questions for me?
No? OK.
Uh, is Gina Henderson here, please?
Er, yeah.
She is...
She's being officially questioned.
For what? Having a good time?
Look, this is a unique service
that women are allowed
to subscribe to.
It's better than cocaine.
It's about the same price, though.
Sandra. Sorry.
(LIFT BELL DINGS)
Here you go, ma'am.
Oh, Gina, shit.
Oh, darl. Oh.
So what are you gonna do?
(ANSWERING MACHINE BEEP)
GIRL: Hey, Mum, it's me - again.
Uh, I spoke to Dad.
He's getting used to things.
I know it's been a couple of months,
but I think he's still angry.
Anyway, Mum...
I think you're unbelievable.
Tell me if you hear anything.
Good luck. I hope you get it. Bye!
(ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
There's still nothing.
It'll be here.
I hope. Don't worry about the
licence. We need your statement.
It's coming.
(DOOR SLIDING OPEN)
Look who's here.
Sorry I'm late, everyone.
ALL: Aww.
Oh, Tom! You did it!
(CHUCKLES)
Aw. Aw!
Huxley, meet everybody.
Everybody, this is Huxley.
Aw.
He's gorgeous.
It's dad day.
Dad half day, actually.
We'll move to full days
when he's a bit older.
I get a lot of access time
so I figured we could do
'bring your kids to work day'.
Cool! If he can bring his baby,
can I bring my dog, please?
Oh, not quite the same thing, bro.
Um, well, you probably shouldn't
keep them waiting any longer.
Let's do it.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Mate, that's my go to move.
Ooh. It's here.
Ooh. Can I check?
Yeah!
Everybody, members of the board,
I hereby declare
that we are a fully licensed
operation!
(CHEERING)
Whoo!
Let's go!
Par-tay!
(LAUGHTER)
Yeah!
(JAZZY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
(DOOR OPENS)
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING INSIDE)
I am guilty of looking up
your address
on company records.
Just say the word and I will go away
and I will not come back.
I will leave you alone, I promise.
Just... say the word.
Shit.
Sorry, marmalade. Burnt it.
Oh, no, it's OK. I'm gonna go.
It's been wonderful to see you again.
Thank you for the visit.
Gina, Gina, that...
that wasn't a visit.
A visit is when you come in
and you eat a pastry,
and then you think about
whether you're in the mood
for a glass of Pinot
and then we can...
..we can work out whether you wanna
have two pastries or... (CHUCKLES)
..three.
# CELIA CRUZ: Te Busco
# En cualquier huella te persigo
(voy tras de ti)
# En una sombra te... #
Forget about the pastry.
I'll just drag you to the bedroom.
Mm, bedroom, that sounds
very far away
# ..que se pierden (de la soledad)
# La suerte no vino conmigo
# Te busco perdida entre suenos
# El ruido de la gente
# Me envuelven en un velo
# Te busco volando en el cielo
# El viento te ha llevado
# Como un panuelo viejo #
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
Ah.
Ah.
Mm.
Thank you. Thanks.
Thanks very much.
Just a minute.
Well, look at what you've
gone and done.
Baked with my own fair hand.
Croissant?
Yes.
(CHUCKLES)
They're marmalade flavour.
People seem to like it.
Anything else?
All of it.
(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHS)
(MOBILE PHONE CHIMES)
(MOBILE PHONE WHISTLES)
"When was the last time you let
yourself ask for what you wanted
in the bedroom?"
Incredible.
Mm. Oh.
"We offer a service
that encourages women
to freely express what they want
without judgement.
(LAUGHTER)
We provide safe experiences
so women can begin to close
the pleasure gap.
This is a sexual wellness company
about learning how to practice
your pleasure.
And we'd love to help with the house
while we sort your orgasm."
(LAUGHTER)
"Because your pleasure
is worth asking for."
Mm.
Shall we take a look? Go on.
Refresh it.
Yep.
Oh!
Oh, my word.
Oh, that's crazy!
Oh.
Wow.
"Please unblock my drains."
(LAUGHTER)
(CHEERING)
(GLASSES CLINK)
# THE PHANTOMS: Good As Gold
# Can't knock me down
cos I'm a fighter
# Can't lock me in cos I'm on fire
# So get out of my way
I got something to say
# Can't hold me down no, no, no
# Gonna get what I want
I'm gonna take it
# Give me rule number one
I'm gonna break it
# Whoo-hoo, I'm gonna get
what I want today
# Whoo-hoo, it's just
the way that I roll
# Whoo-hoo, I'm gonna kick
this out my way
# Yeah, I'm as good as gold
# Nah, nah, nah, nah,
nah-nah-nah-nah-nah
# Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah-nah-nah
# Cut loose these strings,
I was meant to fly
# I got that thing
that you can't deny
# So wait till you see,
what I got on my sleeves
# Show my thing off, too,
yeah, yeah, yeah
# Gonna get what I want
I'm gonna take it
# Give me rule number one
I'm gonna break it
# Whoo-hoo, I'm gonna get
what I want today
# Whoo-hoo, it's just
the way that I roll
# Whoo-hoo, I'm gonna
kick this out my way
# Whoo-hoo
# Yeah, I'm as good as gold
# Nah, nah, nah, nah,
nah-nah-nah-nah-nah
# Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah-nah-nah
# Nah, nah, nah, nah,
nah-nah-nah-nah-nah
# Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah-nah-nah
# Nah, nah, nah, nah,
nah-nah-nah-nah-nah
# Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah-nah-nah
# Whoo-hoo, I'm gonna get
what I want today
# Whoo-hoo, it's just
the way that I roll
# Whoo-hoo, I'm gonna
kick this out my way
# Whoo-hoo
# Yeah, I'm as good as gold
# Nah, nah, nah, nah,
nah-nah-nah-nah-nah
# Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah-nah-nah #
# THEO CHINARA: Light It Up
AccessibleCustomerService@sky.uk
(WAVES CRASHING)
(WAVES CONTINUE CRASHING)
# MAT MCHUGH: Loneliness
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Blast it. Who's got the vinegar?
Yep.
Well, I need something.
It's really stinging.
You should wee on it.
(LAUGHS) I don't think I
could manage the angle.
I could. No, thanks.
It's fine.
Oh, go on, give us a shot.
I don't want you to wee on me.
So, what do you want
for your birthday?
To not be having another birthday.
All right, gotta go.
I've got to be at work by eight.
Oh, I thought you had the day off
today. Yeah, that turned into
a half day off. Happy birthday me!
Mm.
Bye. Bye.
Do you think she suspects anything?
GIRL (OVER PHONE):
Happy birthday, Mum. Thanks.
So you're old enough
to retire now, right?
(CHUCKLES) Ha-ha, Chloe.
There's no way they can cope without
me. I can't even get a full day off.
And is Dad spoiling you?
Oh, he will, don't you worry.
Oh, it's just started snowing here.
London is so amazing.
I can't believe I had
to grow up in Australia.
Thanks, Dad.
Oh, Mum, hey, sorry, I've got to go.
Oh. But have a great birthday.
Already? Oh.
Love you.
Bye, Dad.
Bye, honey.
She seems happy. I hope that
doesn't mean she's gonna stay.
Of course she's happy.
She's having a great time
ignoring her studies.
Just stop that, please.
I love this stuff! Oh.
Lack of food waste,
high nutrition profile
and portion control.
It's so good you're doing it.
Wanna open that?
Go on, spoil yourself.
Happy birthday.
Lovely.
Now, can we go?
I've got court first thing.
Sorry.
(KEYS JANGLING)
Hey, I hope you don't mind, but I've
just very quickly separated out
the ones that don't qualify
for business recovery.
MAN: Dina!
Thanks.
I'm under the pump on that, um...
removers there.
"Pleased To Move You."
We need to file for insolvency
like yesterday.
Got it.
Where's the rest of it?
Er, left it on-site.
So could you...
I'm really busy right now. I was
due to finish at lunch time today,
and I do have a client report
to finalise.
It will only take you a minute.
Gina? Thanks.
I - that's - yeah.
(SIGHS)
Hello?
Hello?
(DOOR RATTLING, SLIDING OPEN)
Whoa! Hey, hey, Ben!
Sorry.
Ben, watch where you're going.
Did you get your driver's licence
on the dark net?
You're really gonna have to learn
how to reverse in here.
I don't like reversing.
It's easy. It's like going forwards,
except backwards.
Can't even do that.
We've been waiting for
someone to show up.
I just came to get a file that
my colleague left behind.
Tea? Biscuit?
Oh, er, well, no.
I'm actually on a bit of a -
well, it's a diet box.
He makes his own ginger snaps.
Kinda chewy in the middle,
but just the right amount
of bite in the bite.
If you don't mind, I'll just
collect the paperwork.
You have no idea what
you're missing out on.
I don't know what file
you're talking about.
Well, I can see it. It's just -
Oh, you're the one
that's gonna shut us down.
Oh, no. I just do the organising
and the things that other
people forget to do
like bringing such paperwork
back to the office.
You know, if you file that today,
we're all out.
Boys are owed money.
Will see none of it.
I'm really not the person
who makes those decision.
I just need the paperwork.
Well, you can't have it.
If you don't let me
have the paperwork,
I can't tell if we're able to help.
What, you can help us?
I love a good spreadsheet.
Well...
you won't like this one.
I wonder what she means
by loving a spreadsheet.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Gina.
I think you must have the wrong Gina.
Er, Gina Henderson?
Yes.
Um...
Happy birthday.
(SPEAKER BEEPS)
(MUSIC PLAYING)
Er, stop that.
Now, please.
(MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)
Please.
Don't you like it?
Oh, no, you're very good. Just...
Please.
Are you sure you want me to stop?
I-I'm sorry. Um...
(SPEAKER BEEPING, MUSIC STOPS)
I don't think you understand.
I'm your birthday present.
Well, could you put that
back on, please?
And re-buckle your belt.
Well, you've got me for two hours.
Two hours?
How long does it take you
to get undressed?
Well, I undress the way
you want me to undress.
And then I'll do anything
that you want me to do.
Anything.
I'm very open-minded.
Anything?
Totally.
Really?
Completely.
Do you think you could
clean my house?
What?
Well, you said...
anything.
Yeah, not that.
You said you'd do whatever I wanted.
No way, man.
This is a prepaid service, right?
So I think that's a contract
in sales terms.
Come on. Are you sure
you wouldn't just...
rather I just take my clothes off?
I'm married.
It doesn't stop most people.
Could you start by doing the floor?
# ABBE MAY: Pony
You're enjoying this.
(IRON HISSING)
I'm not.
It's not illegal to look, you know?
# Someone who knows how to ride
# Without evening falling off
# Gotta be compatible
# Takes me to my limits
# Let's do it...
Could you do the living room?
# Ride it, my pony
# My saddle's waiting
# Come and jump on it #
(MUSIC PLAYING)
(EXHALES)
Here, let me show you.
You can't just rub away at it
and hope for the best. You have to...
be gentle. Yeah.
So-so go in circles.
Not so fast. Slowly.
Start gently.
Circles.
That's your two hours.
Yep. Thanks.
Um, it was, er, so not my pleasure.
(LAUGHS)
Happy birthday.
Oh, yep.
I'll, um... I'll let myself out.
Yeah.
(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)
They want me to be equity partner.
Why didn't you say?
I'm telling you now. (CHUCKLES)
Didn't wanna jinx it.
That's fantastic.
You've worked so hard.
You'll be perfect.
I've never slept with
a senior partner before.
(CHUCKLES)
Honey...
I've got a bit of a headache.
Can you get the light?
Good night.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
So...
was he gorgeous?
Thank you very much, everyone,
for the sex worker
you sent to my home address.
Come on, you sly dog.
No, no, I-I paid for
the premium version.
They said if you get that, you can
have anything you want. I...
Oh, my God.
So, what did you ask for?
I asked him to clean my house.
(LAUGHS) What?
What was I supposed to do?
Thank you for thinking of me,
but if I want that I'll find it
in my own marriage.
Farley was fantastic for that,
I'll have you know.
Farley was over a year ago. Some
things happen in their own time.
Yeah, no, I mean, she's right, guys.
It's not like any of us singles
are getting any.
Apart from you, of course, Hayley.
It does.
It sounds amazing, actually,
having a man clean your house.
Did he have a six-pack?
Oh, please tell me he at least
took his shirt off. Did he?
It was a four-pack.
Oh, yes! (CLAPPING)
Yes, Gina!
(ALL LAUGHING)
Whoo!
Brett, I was looking at
those removals figures
and I think we're missing
a bit of, um...
It's just fatty tissue.
Sorry.
So, um, I thought...
Oh. You know you haven't remembered
my birthday for five years.
There was a restructure.
My hands were tied.
I'm sorry.
You'll get picked up straight away.
There will be some sort of package.
Who else did you let go?
Just yourself at present.
Here's your copies.
Now I'm almost done reconfiguring
the report system, and you need
to get a social strategist.
Can I get you something, Gina?
Yeah, you can take your double
D cups and you can piss off
back to your own department.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
WOMAN: Do you think she's OK?
(EXHALES)
OK. I've got you a little
cheer up present.
Oh...
Now, it is a remote-controlled
internal vibrator.
So you wear it inside.
Oh, I...
No. It's movement controlled,
Bluetooth enabled.
It's amazing. I...
No, no, no.
I've got one.
It was a buy one, get one free
so this is for you.
Well, that-that is so lovely
of you to think of me.
No, I didn't think of you. I was
gonna give it to one of the others,
but clearly it has to be you.
Why? Why me?
Because you're gonna be stuck
at home by yourself all day,
so got to have something to do. OK.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Uh, hi. I think I left the speaker.
The bastards wanna charge me
200 bucks for what's like a...
50-dollar speaker, so...
Do you mind if I...?
No, come in.
Thanks.
Nah. I was a shit stripper.
Didn't even make it past my trial
week. I thought you were great.
You don't recognise me, do you?
From the moving company.
You're from 'Please To Move You'?
Well, no, not anymore.
No. Now we're folding.
So that's two jobs
I've lost in one week.
But I read the file.
That's not necessary.
There are things you can do
to turn that around.
Well, tell that to the dickheads
who decided we're not worth saving.
Oh, sorry.
Ah!
Ah.
200 bucks right there - that's...
What I could - I mean,
have you thought about
doing other work?
Yeah.
Cleaning?
Cleaning?
No, I can't.
Ah, so you'll take your clothes off
for strangers,
but God forbid if you have
to clean a woman's house.
I've just got to get back and help
fix the truck so they can sell it.
Ah. Yeah, I'm not the only one out of
work. You know, there's four of us.
Ah.
But thanks.
House cleaners?
I've never cleaned a house before.
It's gross.
Possibly shirtless cleaning.
If-if that's what the clients want.
Uh, I don't think that's gonna
work out so well for all of us.
What about the removals?
Oh, we'll do them.
Just if you don't get enough
removals bookings,
you'll have to clean.
And what about the shirt business?
Optional extra, billable.
Tom, what do you have to say about
your experience as a stripper?
Mate, you stripped?
Yeah, I only did it
for a little bit.
Did you feel exploited?
I loved it.
(LAUGHING) You must have
been pretty shit.
Fuck off, I was all right.
(LAUGHS) (LAUGHS)
How do you know about him
being a stripper?
Oh, er, my friends
booked him as a surprise...
surprise, uh, present.
I just think there are a lot of women
who really like the thought of a man
cleaning their house,
shirtless on request.
And I think they'll pay for it.
Is that all right with everyone?
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
Gina.
I would like to make an offer
on the removals company
'Pleased To Move You'.
We closed them down.
We do offer counselling,
you know that.
You didn't close them. I did.
Only, um, I didn't. (LAUGHS)
I decided they qualify
for business recovery.
Gina, that place is history.
And you can smell it on them
and the manager's like... 50.
I can't give you a company. Yes,
you can if it's not worth anything.
Hm, it's not that it's
worth nothing.
The company has assets - you know,
client base, corporate knowledge.
Truck, if I recall.
But I don't have any money yet.
Not on my own.
The creditors need 10% of assets
so if you can find a way
to come up with that,
it could be yours.
Could I pay in instalments?
I'd need a commission.
Gina, that is so brave.
True god.
You frickin' nailed it.
Where'd you find your cleaners?
Actually it's the, uh, stripper
you got me for my birthday.
The one with the four-pack?
The very same.
(CHUCKLES)
Hm. You still here?
Brett let me go.
There was a restructure. He had to.
Were you the only one?
Yep.
That's not a restructure.
That's age discrimination. That's
a problem. We can pursue that.
I wouldn't worry about it.
I'm setting up a different business.
What kind of business?
Removals.
Removals?
(CHUCKLES) Gina, do you know
what you're getting into?
It's fine. We already have the -
Is this some kind of scheme? Cos you
know this pyramid selling business -
some of them are just a scam.
It's perfectly fine.
I'm just helping them diversify
their service base.
Into what? What?
What?
Listen, it's the first day
and I'm-I'm-I'm late.
Yeah, just gotta, mm, run.
You remember how to clean
with a microfibre?
S shape.
What's a microfibre again?
OK, just ask her how she'd
like her house cleaned.
I'm sure she'll tell you.
Can I ask you, what did you
like when I was cleaning?
Cos I didn't know what
I was doing, so...
any pointers would be great.
Uh...
Well, you were good at
the skirting boards.
No, no, like...
what did you like?
Oh!
Er, do you remember what you did
with your shirt?
I took it off.
Yeah. And?
You put it in your back pocket.
Yeah, you could maybe try that again.
Oh.
Um, and, you know, leave it there.
Yeah, no problem.
Should I do the introductions for
you? No, no, no, I've got it,
I've got it. Yeah, I'm just
gonna stay here. All right.
All right. OK.
(CHUCKLES)
Elbow grease.
Yeah.
I've come to clean your house.
Good.
Great.
Um, do you wanna start in here?
(CLOCK TICKING)
(CHUCKLES)
(OBJECTS CLATTER)
Sorry.
You're gonna have to tell me
how to do some of this.
Oh.
Oh.
(CHUCKLES)
So, uh, where next?
Kitchen.
Yeah.
Just...
Thomas? Yeah.
Sorry, can I call you Tom?
Yeah. Tom, would you mind
taking your boots off, please?
Yes. Sorry.
Whoo.
(CHUCKLES)
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
(FRIDGE DOOR OPENS)
That is not happening ever again.
Sure thing, boss.
(MOTORCYCLE RIDING PAST)
(DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE)
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
(SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE)
Tom.
I got a promotion.
I have a boyfriend.
I brought ice cream.
I'm off dairy, Tom.
Oh. Um, are you off...
Chocolate Obsession?
Damn you.
(CHUCKLES)
So, um... is everything going OK?
With the - with the baby?
Is it going OK?
He is fine. Kicking like a bastard.
He?
Yeah.
Bye, Tom.
Yeah.
Bye.
He. (CHUCKLES)
(DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE)
(CHUCKLES)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Hello?
Hi, I was wondering if
I could make a booking
for one of those house
cleaners, please?
Yes. Yes.
I'm sorry, it's so noisy in here.
When would you like?
Sometime on Thursday.
OK.
Sorry, can - I -
can you say that again?
Um, hi. (LAUGHS)
Oh.
Excuse me.
Are you the one with the service?
Yes, I am. Can you just give me
a couple of minutes?
I'm just taking a booking.
I must have this house cleaner.
Oh.
I've heard it's very good.
I hear he leaves no surface
untouched,
gets into every crevice.
So I was wondering if you had
any availability on Thursday.
Excuse me. No, I'll take Thursday.
(SCREAMING AND LAUGHTER)
You did so good!
You know it's just
for cleaning, right?
I want what she had. Yeah, sorry,
but cleaning is just a cover.
(CHUCKLES)
That was a mistake.
That-That is not gonna happen again.
Would anyone like to book
a straight-up cleaning job?
Wanna get drunk? I have vodka.
No.
You'll get another job.
It won't be that hard.
Don't lie to me.
OK, because you're over 50
it's gonna be very hard.
I know.
Oh, I'm not gonna do it.
Why not?
(GASPS)
I couldn't ask those men to do that.
Actually, I think he was the one
who offered.
I just couldn't.
Oh, God.
You're so... British.
What does that mean?
This is a very good idea.
You're being so uptight.
Sorry.
(CHUCKLES)
(CAR BEEPS)
(EXHALES)
(SIGHS)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Shh-shh.
Does anyone still want
to make a booking?
Well, for cleaning or for sex?
Both.
(CHEERING AND LAUGHTER)
Obviously you don't have to
if you don't want to.
And, um, I have prepared
a whole redundancy package
for each of you.
That perhaps is the other option.
And if we want to?
Well, then, you just
go right ahead.
(CHUCKLES)
And you just ask your client if she'd
prefer to have her house cleaned
before or after.
(CHUCKLES)
Oh.
Don't look at me.
Well, then you could
just do the housework.
Business as usual.
Well, uh, so...
right, so, um...
quality control.
Um, obviously the cleaning
must be effective, and there must be
a minimum of one orgasm.
(LAUGHS)
You've thought of everything.
Do we count our own?
If we count hers and mine,
that's two, right?
That's a multiple?
Yours is irrelevant.
Is she serious?
I think she is.
I'm down for it. It will be
like career enhancement.
Dude, you can't hold down
a job to save your life.
You can't even keep
a driver's license.
It wasn't my fault.
It's never your fault.
What if you don't like her?
Your client?
Gina was pretty clear. If you don't
like anything about the session,
you can leave it.
Or what if she doesn't like us?
When I did my stripping week,
that was the worst bit.
You can be like really well-built.
If you're a stripper,
you can't just be a bit hot.
You have to be smoking.
If we're gonna sleep with people,
we'll have to be sex gods.
Sounds good.
I'm in.
Are you kidding? I'm in.
(CHUCKLES)
Steve?
I'll be your IT department,
at least to get you started.
I found this site.
Oh.
Jesus.
Is that shit even legal?
Yeah, that stripper joint
I worked for did that,
but they had some kind
of a special licence.
Apparently took them ages to get it.
Yeah, I've heard,
but we need to get started.
So if we did a website like this,
could we make the site owner
anonymous? Yeah, but you still need
search engine optimisation
with the right search words.
So, housecleaning.
Sex.
(CHUCKLES)
Pleasure.
You should be jotting this down.
Escorts who love your home.
(KEYBOARD BUTTONS CLACKING)
Um, integrity, safety.
Discretion.
Rock-solid.
Best ever root you'll get all year.
I thought we were all going round.
Yeah, integrity's good.
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)
(MUSIC STOPS)
Hi.
Hi.
Come in.
Thank you.
Right on time.
(CHUCKLES)
# MO'HORIZONS: Foto Viva.
(EXHALES)
Tom?
Would you like to dance?
Yeah. Sure thing.
Just stop that. It's fine.
# Fota viva, viva, viva
# Fota viva, viva, viva
# Da melodia que falava do futuro
# Que voce imaginou
# Do passado que voce nao viveu #
(DO YOU WANT ME? PLAYING)
Ah.
# Are you lonely, oh, my darling?
# Do you want me?
# Are you lonely, oh, my darling?
# Do you need me?
(STRAINS)
# I can tell by the look in your eyes
# I don't want your afters
# Don't you want me, my darling?
# Don't you want me tonight?
# I'm...
# All yours #
(SNORING)
Um, so I've been thinking.
And...
You see, I'm just not exactly sure
that I can reliably say that I know
how to please... a woman.
Well...
if you can say that...
..you're a better man than most.
Good.
What, Anthony? So-So he's big.
A jackhammer?
Oh. Oh, I am...
very sorry.
Yes, of course,
I completely understand.
Can we make it up to you in some way?
(I wasn't that bad.)
Very sorry once again.
Back to cleaning and removals, bro.
On my hot mother, I swear.
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
Pleased to Move You.
(CRUNCHING)
Really? Oh, that's just basic.
What else did he miss?
Dude.
Oh, he'll be back.
I understand. No charge.
Come on, fellas. Don't feel bad.
We all make mistakes.
Let's look at the positives here.
At least you're both in the shit.
I mean, it's not like
you're gonna sack them.
(SIGHS)
One of my members of staff is...
How shall I put this? He's, um...
very... well...
Endowed?
Oh, God. God's gift.
Yeah, he needs help from someone
who knows more than him.
Someone very...
very experienced.
(CHUCKLES)
Guys.
Just be cool.
Just be cool.
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
Could you teach him
to clean everything?
Nothing sexy. Just-just cleaning.
Everything.
Thoroughly.
Uh, because I am chairing
a board meeting at three.
Oh, yeah.
He will so be done by then.
It's just your place -
it's the perfect training ground.
Mm. OK.
Keep your clothes on.
Are you sure it will be good?
The cleaning?
The sex.
Of course.
What if he doesn't like me?
Why do you think he would like you?
It's been a little while
since I've, um...
Ah.
Now like quite a few years.
That happens. (CHUCKLES)
Quite a few.
(GROANING)
(CONTINUES GROANING)
Can we just stop?
Stop. OK.
Did you learn everything you know
from watching porn?
Porn is the exact opposite of what
good sex feels like for women.
Has no one ever told you that?
No.
Oh, God.
Um...
Uh, you just tell me
what I'm doing wrong
and I will listen.
You don't just listen
with your ears.
You listen with your body.
Now, every woman's body
is different.
So even if I teach you a technique,
you still have to listen each time.
Mm.
What do you have to do
every single time?
Have to, um, listen
to your body with my body.
So I'm pretty successful at work,
in pretty much everything in life,
except one thing.
Let me guess.
Yeah, well, let's just say that
not all of my sexual experiences
have been enjoyable.
You don't have to do this
if you don't want to.
No, I've thought about it a lot.
I don't want a relationship
and I don't like the idea
of an online hook-up,
and I've realised that
I don't wanna give up on sex
forever, so... (CHUCKLES)
Well, you can take it gently.
You could, like, start with...
..a foot rub, and then move
onto a little massage,
and then just see if you want
to take it any further.
Can we do that?
Sure.
Glass of wine?
W-What do you like to drink?
Gin. I might have to
slam a few first
to forget myself to get started.
You know, I think you are
here to remember yourself.
Yeah. Thanks.
You know what?
Yeah, I'll just do it.
Oh.
Not very good at letting other
people do things for you, are you?
Er, we need a different cloth.
Yep, I'll get it.
No, no, it's fine.
What does your husband do?
Er, did you mean to ask
what do I do?
I'm a corporate lawyer.
He is a surgeon.
Good with his hands?
(SCOFFS)
He used to be.
I'm sorry. I didn't realise
he's not around.
Oh, no, no, no. He is around.
It's just that we don't...
Oh.
..you know, kind of...
(SIGHS)
Um, you can start on the bath.
Yeah. Yeah.
It's OK.
The same with my girlfriend,
or my ex. We stopped, as well.
Was that just because
it wasn't very good?
Oh, no, no, it was great.
But it was always up to me.
I always had to initiate.
The thing is, um...
Well, we are having a baby.
Congratulations.
Yeah.
Well, she's having a baby
without me.
Little man.
Oh.
Yeah.
Yeah, I wish she'd let me
be the dad. I am the dad.
I just really wanna be the dad.
I think I have to grow up a bit.
I need to get my shit together.
I'm sure you will.
You'll get there.
Yeah.
If I am paying for it,
I don't want ordinary orgasm.
I can sort one of those out
for myself.
And I don't one of those naughty
ones that sneak up on you
and then fizzle out.
I want orgasm with lots of edging.
Eased towards it...
then back off.
Ease up to it again...
..then back off. You know.
A big...
delicious lead up, and then...
(EXHALES)
..total annihilation.
OK.
And anything else?
Snow angel.
My all-time go to favourite.
That can't be comfortable.
I don't know.
Looks all right for her.
Bloke's got quite a hard job,
though. She is upside down.
No, she's just lying back.
He's the one doing all the holding.
No, no, that is definitely
upside down.
She can't even move.
(CLEARS THROAT)
Stop looking.
I was just going to do the...
license... (CHUCKLES)
..application.
Women are quite tricky to please.
(CHUCKLES)
They all seem to say completely
different things.
It's very inconsistent.
You're terrible for you.
I'm really not sure
I'm cut out for this.
Close your eyes.
(CHUCKLES)
That's silly.
No, no, trust me.
Just close your eyes
and imagine you're a woman about
to contact this business.
Come on, come on.
All right.
You heard about the company...
Mm-hm. ..and you're intrigued.
Why are you so interested?
I, uh... (CHUCKLES)
I don't know why. I just am.
Can't help it.
I don't even want to be.
So what do you do about it?
I look it up...
..secretly.
And?
(EXHALES)
I need to know I'm talking
to a woman.
I don't want to speak to a man
about this. Good.
So you call up, you get a woman
and she asks you what you want.
What you really want.
Maybe she just wants to be touched.
Feel this.
What does it tell you?
You're trying to teach me something.
(CLEARS THROAT)
That's what my words are saying.
Feel my hand.
What's it telling you?
It's warm.
Go on.
It's like...
It's like you're inviting me some.
Pleased to see me.
Good.
Good.
Now we can start.
(SQUEAKING)
So, what did you mean by,
you know, it was always up to you?
Oh, yeah.
Well, even before we broke up
we'd stopped having sex.
I really love it when
a woman initiates,
and she never would.
It's so hot when a woman
asks me for something.
(SQUEAKING)
Could you get that dark
blue cloth, please?
OK, sure.
(BIRDS SQUAWKING)
(SIGHS)
So... (CLEARS THROAT)
..what would you like
to do for dinner?
I would like you to take me out.
Mm.
And after that...
..I'd like to skip dessert.
I think that we should
come straight home...
and have a nude swim.
And then...
..I would like to lie down on
one of the sun lounges and...
I would like you to go down on me.
And if you like...
..I could return the favour.
Could we skip dinner?
(LAUGHS)
Yeah, nah.
I wanna be taken out first.
# RUBY VELLE AND THE SOULPHONICS:
It's About Time
# World, world, world
# Where have we been?
# What have we got?
# Will the story of our future
be a new tune?
# Or the same old song?
# Because who we are
# Only history knows
# But where we are going
# Oh, it hasn't fully,
fully been told
# And it's about time
# That we decide together
# That our fight for freedom
# Cannot last forever
# And it's about time
# We turn this world on a dime
(MOBILE PHONE CLICKING)
# Listen...
Gina?
# It's about time #
Gina?
What's the occasion?
# Where we've been
# Floatin' down a river
# With our hands tied
# While further downstream...
I'll make us some pasta.
# ..and lies divide
# And now it's only right
# We put our words on the line
# And we decide together, baby
# That it's about time #
You said I never helped
with the housework.
Tom, no.
Well, I can do it now.
Top to bottom.
Let me show you. No, it's OK.
You must be Tom. I'm Gary.
How's the little man?
Growing.
Um...
Nice to meet you, mate.
We're fine.
Don't worry. I'll call you.
See ya. Bye, Tom.
(EXHALES)
# AGNES OBEL: Dorian
# They won't know who we are
# So we both can pretend
# It's written on the mountains
# A line that never ends
# As the devil spoke we spilled out
on the floor
# And the pieces broke
# And the people wanted more
# And the rugged wheel is turning
# Another round
# Dorian, carry on
# Will you ever let us carry on? #
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Hi. Wait. Wait.
Wait. I-I know how to clean
your place properly now.
From top to bottom. And if you
don't let me in and let me do it,
I might lose my job.
Please, please, please.
Please let me come in and clean.
I couldn't quite hear that last bit.
Could you just repeat that?
(CHUCKLES
Please, please, please let me
come in and clean your house.
(SIGHS)
Thank you.
Are they? I had actually forgotten...
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
..how good my body can feel.
Hang on, Sandra.
(RINGING CONTINUES)
I'm pleased for you
because this business...
Pleased To Move You.
Could you please hold?
Sometimes you just need several
great Chads to get your mojo back.
(TELEPHONE BEEPING)
I can't remember ever
feeling this good.
(INDISTINCT)
(TELEPHONE CONTINUES BEEPING)
Hello. (CLEARS THROAT)
This is Steve.
I don't usually answer
these phones. Um...
so please be gentle with me.
It's just unbelievable.
Mm.
(SNIFFLES)
Gina, I cannot recommend it
highly enough.
I just... I feel so alive.
(LINE CUTS)
Are you there?
Um, yeah, we can do that.
Would you mind if I called you back?
No, no, it's OK, it's OK.
I'll, uh, just check the,
uh, the bookings.
Um, yeah, just tell you me a little
bit more about yourself.
(SNIFFLES)
(EXHALES)
Lovely spot.
Look, I-I don't think I
should be doing the phones.
Did she make a booking?
Yep.
Who did you match her up with?
Actually it was me.
Well, I tried to talk her into
someone else, but she wanted
someone her own age and she liked
the sound of my voice, so...
You're married.
Ah, yeah, um... about that.
It's, um... it's real.
I...
I just kept thinking
she'd come back, so...
so I waited.
Are you still waiting?
No.
But you're still wearing the ring.
(EXHALES)
Yeah, well, look, imagine this.
You're moving furniture one moment,
trying to get some money together
and get on with your life,
and the next moment...
the entire team has been converted
into sexy cleaners.
You should have said.
I was saving you from trying
to wheel me out along
with the rest of them.
I mean, no one wants this
scrubbing their kitchen bench.
It sounds like somebody does.
She'll regret it when she sees me.
Aw, don't be silly.
I'm sure the pair of you will
have a terrific time of it.
(SIGHS)
(CAR DOOR OPENS)
(CLEARS THROAT)
Hi. Hello.
Do you only employ men
as your, um...
Sex professionals -
that's what we call them. Right.
I don't - I don't have any women.
Oh, that's OK.
I just thought I'd ask.
I don't know.
Since the kids are gone, there's
a bit more time to take notice
of what's going on with me.
And especially after
some of the bookings,
I am feeling all kinds of things
for all kinds of people.
You sound like a young person.
(LAUGHS)
But if I'm gonna try being with
a woman for the first time,
I'd prefer it to be with someone
who knows what she's doing,
who can forgive me if-if I'm wrong
and I want to stop halfway through.
I'm being ridiculous, aren't I?
No, you're not.
Can you leave it with me?
Thank you.
Ah.
Would you mind not mentioning
this to Brett?
Yes, as long as that's mutual.
Uh...
I suppose I'm (CHUCKLES)
here for a booking.
You don't need us. I've seen what
happens when you walk into a room.
(CHUCKLES)
I...
I don't like my breasts
to be touched.
I've got really insensitive nipples
so when they get a lot of attention
I feel nothing.
Well, left out, really.
So you want to pay for
someone who will...
..ignore your breasts.
Yes.
Not all of my sexual experiences
have been satisfying.
And I'll pay for some that are,
if it means good sex.
People underestimate me.
And they don't know that
I reconfigured the entire
apex programme to integrate
both platforms.
That day the only thing anyone said
was about what I looked like,
including you.
I'm sorry about that.
It's fine.
I mean -
No, it's really not.
I'm used to it.
It happens every day.
But it's the shit sex
that's wearing thin.
(CHUCKLES)
You have a lifetime of sex ahead
of you and it should be good.
You're gonna have to learn
to ask for what you want.
It's never too late to start.
I just want a decent root.
Yep.
(CAR DOOR OPENS)
I know. I was terrible,
but I can do so much better.
Good for you.
I've been working on some moves.
Please let me show you.
Please.
So what was that
Incredible Hulk thing you did
with your clothes again?
Light years beyond that.
Can you, for five minutes straight,
move your mouth and your tongue
in the exact same way?
Yes.
Yes, yes, I can, I can.
God damn.
Anthony.
He ironed everything.
Everything.
I didn't know we offered ironing.
I asked and away he went.
Oh.
So did he take care
of anything else?
Mm-hm.
I should have done this years ago.
(LAUGHTER)
(EXHALES)
(VIBRATOR VIBRATING)
(VIBRATING CONTINUES)
(VIBRATING INTENSIFIES)
(VIBRATING STOPS)
(SIGHS)
Ah.
(MOANS)
(GASPS, MOANS)
Mm.
(DOOR SLIDING OPEN)
(GASPS)
Hi.
Hi. (SNIFFS)
Where is everybody?
They stopped for sausage rolls.
Couldn't bear it. Croissant?
No, thank you.
Home-made.
(CHUCKLES) Thanks.
Well, if you change your mind.
I need to ask you something.
(CLEARS THROAT) What's this?
Hm, I don't know.
Weird.
Mm.
So, I wanna talk to you
about something.
(CLEARS THROAT)
Go ahead.
I've been thinking.
I get a lot of thinking done
about two in the morning.
I think a lot more about this job
than my... my old one.
It's about the business model.
I don't think it's sustainable.
If you really think about it.
Oh.
Keep going, if you don't mind.
It's, uh...
It's a high-end...
..one-off model.
You can't just...
replicate the transactions.
Yeah, I know.
Should I go a bit faster?
Yeah.
(EXHALES)
(MOANS) Oh, no, no, that's too fast.
That's too fast.
Oh, OK. Cool, I'll just...
OK.
Fine. Yeah. (GASPS)
Just cruise.
(EXHALES)
(EXHALES)
Slower.
Really cruising.
Oh.
(MOANS)
(MOANS)
(EXHALING)
(EXHALES)
(EXHALES)
(EXHALES)
Oh!
(GASPS)
One is never enough.
(GASPS)
# THE PHANTOMS: Good As Gold
# Nah, nah, nah, nah-nah-nah-nah... #
Whoa. That's gorgeous.
What's going on?
Nothing.
# Whoo-hoo, I gonna get
what I want today
# Whoo-hoo, it's just
the way that I roll
# Whoo-hoo, I'm gonna
kick this out my way
# Whoo-hoo
# Yeah, I'm as good as gold
# Nah, nah, nah, nah-nah-nah-nah-nah
# Nah, nah, nah, nah-nah-nah #
You got laid. Finally.
It's none of your business.
Sorry, your business is
always my business.
(LAUGHS)
Did you forget your moisturiser?
Mm, yeah.
Use my coconut oil.
Thanks.
You know, that is an
excellent lubricant.
It goes on easy, smells amazing,
tastes amazing, lasts forever
and it is a healthy fat, so you
can just pop it in your stir-fry.
Thank you, Sandra.
(SNIFFS, INHALES)
(ALL GIGGLING)
I don't usually... Me neither.
..use that, and...
actually that was my first time.
It was the first time for both
of us.
Was it horrible?
No. Good.
I can live with that,
as long as it wasn't horrible.
OK, I got your rose petals,
your 85% chocolate, your champagne,
strawberries, massage oil, condoms -
so many condoms - and lubricant.
Apparently silicone
is the way to go.
How about organic coconut oil?
Oh, OK.
(COMPUTER CHIMES)
Oh, that'll be a booking for me.
In your dreams, bro.
(COMPUTER BUZZES)
It's not loading.
Yeah, the whole system is not
coping. We need an upgrade.
We can't afford it. If I can't make
the payments, they take the company
off me. Gina, the door.
I'm looking for Gina Henderson.
Yeah, that-that's me.
Can I help you?
You're in charge here?
I am.
Well, looks like I found exactly
who I'm looking for.
(SPEAKER BEEPS)
(SLOW MUSIC PLAYING)
(SPEAKER BEEPING)
Not many places take on guys.
I wondered if you might like
to increase the team.
Oh, no. No, mate, we're-we're full.
Yeah, you should just piss off
some place else.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sorry, what was your name?
It's Mike.
Hi, Mike.
I'm Gina.
I know.
Guys, there is no need to be rude.
Just basic politeness.
He was basic.
He was quite rude.
He threw his top off in front of us.
A little bit desperate.
What? He looked all - Manners.
You can file that, please,
under M.
M for Mike. Not-not good.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Hey.
How's things?
Great.
(WATER SLOSHING)
I think I'm jealous.
Of?
You're astonishing sex life.
Yeah, well, you should try
the morning afters.
I'm perfectly clear
with them every time -
"This is a one-off."
What happens when you don't
want it to be a one-off?
It's too risky.
Can I ask you to do
something for me?
Will be as much fun as last time?
That's up to you.
I think I could start to like this.
(CHUCKLES) OK.
(DOG BARKS, GROWLS)
Hi!
Hi.
I've come to clean your house.
I didn't know you clean houses.
Oh. (LAUGHS)
Are you gonna let me in or...?
(LAUGHS) Sorry.
(CHUCKLES)
Cute dog.
Yeah. Leo.
Hey, good boy.
Um, it's ten in the morning.
Oh. Egg cups?
(CHUCKLES)
(CORK SQUEAKS, POPS)
Lemon.
(EXHALES)
And salt.
(GULPS)
(SUCKS)
It's your turn.
(CLEARS THROAT)
Women. Women.
Mm.
Uh-uh. I've already done there.
You need to find somewhere new.
(CHUCKLES)
(BOTH GIGGLE)
Mm!
(BOTH LAUGH)
Shall we go again?
Yeah.
(BOTH LAUGH)
(EGG CUPS CLINKING)
Just a little.
Uh-huh, yeah. No, I have the number.
I'm just trying to find it.
Is there somewhere you want this?
No, look, I-I am very sorry, OK.
I will personally follow up
for you, OK?
I'll just count it out.
My assistant's very busy.
He may have missed something.
Two.
Uh, yeah. No, I'll hold, yeah.
Three. Four.
Five.
ALICE: Get it, girl.
(HANDS CLAP)
Yeah, no, no, I'm still here.
(MOBILE PHONE RINGING)
Hey, Gina! I just thought I'd
let you know that I am now
the official owner of this company.
Yes!
Final payment complete.
Hooray!
(LAUGHS)
# Lift your head up, lift your head
up to the sky
# Don't think tomorrow... #
Hey!
(ALL CHEERING)
Hoorah!
(CHEERING CONTINUES)
Hayley told me so I'm showed up.
Yeah, and then she got everyone
drunk on the way here.
(LAUGHS) It wasn't hard.
Congratulations. Oh!
Oh, let me please take this off.
Madam.
I couldn't do it - the booking.
I know.
I checked.
You checked. (CHUCKLES)
You should have said if you didn't
want to do. No, I did want to...
until I got to the car park
and I just -
then I just drove straight home
and ate two litres of ice cream
in the dark. I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm not.
(LAUGHTER)
(LAUGHTER)
Whoo!
Hey, Gina, get over here!
(CHEERING)
And what's going on with you two?
I'm risking it.
I really like her.
Mm! Mm!
(LAUGHS)
Geronimo!
(SCREAMS)
# Lift your head up, lift your head
up to the sky
# Don't think about tomorrow
(CHEERING)
(CHEERING CONTINUES)
# Lift your head up to the sky
# Don't you doubt it, worry about
it, you're gonna be all right
# Lift your head, head up
(SCREAMING)
# Lift it up, up
# It, don't worry about it
# Lift your, lift your head
# Lift your head up,
lift your head up to the sky
# Don't you doubt it, worry about it
# You're gonna be all right #
(BOTTLE CONTENTS RATTLING)
Are you hung over?
Yes, I am.
Do you know it's been years
since we've had sex?
(CHUCKLES) Don't be so dramatic.
It's been a couple of years now,
I think.
G, it has not been two years.
Yeah, there was Bali.
And when we came home from Bali.
And then?
Is there something you want
to tell me?
No.
If I so much as look at you,
you are so repelled you go
running from the room.
Running to whoever it is who is
so much more attractive than me.
That's not true. I'm not seeing
anyone else and I never have.
So you expect me to believe
that you are perfectly happy
just not having sex
with anyone, ever?
Well, no. No, I'm not -
OK, I'm not perfectly happy.
I just...
I just seem to have lost...
Lost what?
Oh. I'm tired.
You're always tired.
(SIGHS)
Are you sick? No, I'm not sick.
I got checked.
What for?
I'm fine.
Everything is fine.
We have your prescription.
Gina.
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
I just don't feel like it.
You sure?
Yeah.
I'm sure.
(CLEARS THROAT)
Er, hi there. I'm Tom from
Ple-Pleased To Move You,
and I'm looking forward
to making sure
you get everything you need -
you need - you need - you need...
Oh, for fuck sake.
Now it's totally fried.
What do you mean "fried"?
I don't know.
It's thoroughly shitting itself.
I just don't know why
it's still happening. And the
booking system is down. I'll fix it.
No, you don't you touch it.
You will fuck it.
OK, we'll just turn it off
and turn it back on again.
Hi. It's Gina.
I need your brains.
(BUTTONS CLACKING)
Should she be allowed in there?
Alice is smarter than all of us put
together. If anyone can sort this,
she can.
You guys need to upgrade.
I don't know who set this up,
but I can sort it out for you.
Well, um...
a little room. Yeah.
Come on, guys.
Just take it easy.
She knows what she's doing.
Sorry. Yeah, no, I'll...
I'll be back here.
Looking for something special?
Yeah.
It's or my wife.
Ah.
In the shit, are ya?
(CHUCKLES) You could say that.
Good investment, then.
You know you should do?
Clean the house. Gets you in
the good books every time.
Thanks. (SCANNER BEEPS)
I'm good.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Well, not heaps...
(COMPUTER CHIMES)
You are good to go.
Whoo-hoo! Nice.
Are we missing anything?
Um...
Oh, yeah. It looks like you had two
movers booked for half an hour ago.
Do you wanna lift?
Oh, yeah. Thanks.
Cool.
I'll do the boxes, then, eh?
It's still important.
(PAPER RUSTLES)
What's this?
Are you gonna tell me what's in it?
I really think it's for the best.
Please don't do this.
I really shouldn't -
Please don't be like that.
That is completely unnecessary.
Is it because I, you know, um...
Before with the... croissants?
No.
No, that was a career highlight.
But I think it's time I did
my own thing for a while.
You're all set up now.
It's been the greatest pleasure.
Au revoir.
(SIGHS)
(CAR HORN HONKS)
(BLOWS)
(WATER RUNS, STOPS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(BOTTLE CAP CLATTERS)
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
Gina!
Steve?
Gina!
(TELEPHONE CONTINUES RINGING)
(LINE RINGING)
Pleased To Move You.
You've got Benjamin.
Phone. I hope you clean faster than
you pick up the phone, mate.
I need to make a booking for today.
Cool. So, can I just clarify,
is it for yourself?
No, well, it's for my wife.
OK. But will you be there?
Yeah, only if you come now.
I want it to be a surprise.
A surprise?
For your wife and you?
I mean, that's cool
and everything, man.
Um, I just - can I ask
how you heard about us?
Listen, mate, I'm just trying to
work out how to please my wife.
It's not that easy. So either you
come now or I'm gonna do it myself.
Um, I mean,
I'm the only one free, but -
Can we just get on with this?
Yep.
Oh, do you want me to get started?
Yeah. I'm getting a beer.
Uh... you wife...
Um... are you sure?
Yes, mate. Go for it.
OK.
(CLEARS THROAT)
Oh, are you good with music?
Whatever.
(INHALES)
(EXHALES)
(SPEAKER BEEPS)
# TOM JONES: Sex Bomb
Mm.
Mm.
# Aw, baby
# Yeah, ooh, yeah
# Ha, listen to this
# Spy on me, baby, use satellite
# Infrared to see me move
through the night
# So I can't deny or lie
# Cos you're the only one
to make me fly
# (You know what you are, you are a)
Sex bomb, sex bomb
# Yeah, you're my sex bomb
# You can give it to me when
I need to come along
# Sex bomb, sex bomb, (Yeah)
You're my sex bomb
# And, baby, you can turn me on
# (Turn me on, darling)
Sex bomb, sex bomb
# You're my sex bomb... #
Sir, your beer.
What the fuck are you doing?
I'm removing my trousers.
Ben?
Gina.
Oh.
(SPEAKER BEEPS, MUSIC STOPS PLAYING)
What, do you know this guy?
Pull your pants up.
Oh, don't get all private now, mate.
Ben, what are you doing here?
I got a booking.
(ZIPPING FLIES)
Do you know something about this?
Dude, she owns the company.
Ben, this is Adrian, my husband.
He doesn't know.
Do you think I should go?
Mm. Mm.
OK, uh, excuse, um...
(CAR OPENS, CLOSES)
This is the...
removal thing?
I employ men
to pleasure women and
to clean their houses.
Some women just take the house clean
for the sheer the pleasure
of watching men do the jobs
they spend a lifetime hating.
Does anyone know about this?
Just the clients.
We're very private.
Un-fucking-believable.
(SIGHS)
(BANGING ON DOOR)
Oh, how did you get my home address?
Don't turn up at my house.
Email me your resume, new photos
and your penis size,
and do not overestimate, please.
We don't care as much as you think.
She wants my penis size.
Gina Henderson?
Would you accompany me back
to the station to answer
some questions, please?
Shit.
The legal representative
for Gina Henderson.
Can you describe to me the exact
nature of the business,
Please To Move You? Until we know
if any charges are being pressed,
my client will not be answering
any of your questions.
Well, that may be the case, but
for operating without a licence
you will be fined under section 23
of the Prostitution Act.
Look, this whole thing
is just a big mistake.
The business known as
Pleased To Move You
will cease operations immediately.
As I said, my client will not be
answering any of your questions.
We do removals, clearances,
domestic cleaning and, uh,
sexual services.
If the client wants, uh.
The cleaning acts as a cover?
No. No, we do the cleaning.
I train them myself.
We polish sinks, we clean toilets,
scrub the grout on your tiles.
Yeah, we clean our houses and,
you know, and... give orgasms.
You know, just not necessarily
in that order.
You admit to running a business
that charges for sex.
And cleaning.
Don't forget the cleaning.
Why do men always forget
the cleaning?
Hm. My client is under extreme
duress right now.
You were operating an enterprise
where women engage
in sexual misconduct
under the guise of hiring
domestic services.
That is pure conjecture.
It is not misconduct.
We are fulfilling a need
for all those women
who feel sexually invisible,
whose husbands never learned
how to take a hit for the team.
We're there for those who like
to climax more than once,
and for those who are sick
of doing it alone.
But mostly we are here because,
contrary to appearances,
we haven't given up on sex,
and we're sick of cleaning the house.
ALL: Yes! (CHUCKLING)
Did you feel forced at any time?
Were you ever harmed or...?
I don't think so, checking in,
but, um...
that'll be a no.
Oh.
It says here your job is to...
"give orgasms."
It's not actually illegal.
We checked.
We applied for a licence
and everything. Mm. Mm.
And we do cleaning.
You've just admitted to operating
without a licence
in what is a highly
regulated industry.
The fine will be in the tens
of thousands of dollars.
I don't want you to pay it.
Well, I'm gonna have to.
It's not like you've got a job.
We are just gonna go home,
and I will sort everything out.
Don't want that.
(SIGHS)
Now's not the time, Gina.
I'm not going back.
There's no need to be hysterical.
I am not.
But you are.
This is hysterical behaviour.
Adrian, would you just fuck off?
All right, I will.
I will fuck off.
Fuck off home without you.
I'm not gonna come back to find out
if you've changed your mind.
And you can pay the fine by
yourself - you do realise that.
Absolutely.
(DOOR OPENS)
Do you know how good it is
to sleep with someone
who's more interested in you
than in how they look naked?
This has been like the
best gap year ever.
Yes. Do you have any
questions for me?
No? OK.
Uh, is Gina Henderson here, please?
Er, yeah.
She is...
She's being officially questioned.
For what? Having a good time?
Look, this is a unique service
that women are allowed
to subscribe to.
It's better than cocaine.
It's about the same price, though.
Sandra. Sorry.
(LIFT BELL DINGS)
Here you go, ma'am.
Oh, Gina, shit.
Oh, darl. Oh.
So what are you gonna do?
(ANSWERING MACHINE BEEP)
GIRL: Hey, Mum, it's me - again.
Uh, I spoke to Dad.
He's getting used to things.
I know it's been a couple of months,
but I think he's still angry.
Anyway, Mum...
I think you're unbelievable.
Tell me if you hear anything.
Good luck. I hope you get it. Bye!
(ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
There's still nothing.
It'll be here.
I hope. Don't worry about the
licence. We need your statement.
It's coming.
(DOOR SLIDING OPEN)
Look who's here.
Sorry I'm late, everyone.
ALL: Aww.
Oh, Tom! You did it!
(CHUCKLES)
Aw. Aw!
Huxley, meet everybody.
Everybody, this is Huxley.
Aw.
He's gorgeous.
It's dad day.
Dad half day, actually.
We'll move to full days
when he's a bit older.
I get a lot of access time
so I figured we could do
'bring your kids to work day'.
Cool! If he can bring his baby,
can I bring my dog, please?
Oh, not quite the same thing, bro.
Um, well, you probably shouldn't
keep them waiting any longer.
Let's do it.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Mate, that's my go to move.
Ooh. It's here.
Ooh. Can I check?
Yeah!
Everybody, members of the board,
I hereby declare
that we are a fully licensed
operation!
(CHEERING)
Whoo!
Let's go!
Par-tay!
(LAUGHTER)
Yeah!
(JAZZY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
(DOOR OPENS)
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING INSIDE)
I am guilty of looking up
your address
on company records.
Just say the word and I will go away
and I will not come back.
I will leave you alone, I promise.
Just... say the word.
Shit.
Sorry, marmalade. Burnt it.
Oh, no, it's OK. I'm gonna go.
It's been wonderful to see you again.
Thank you for the visit.
Gina, Gina, that...
that wasn't a visit.
A visit is when you come in
and you eat a pastry,
and then you think about
whether you're in the mood
for a glass of Pinot
and then we can...
..we can work out whether you wanna
have two pastries or... (CHUCKLES)
..three.
# CELIA CRUZ: Te Busco
# En cualquier huella te persigo
(voy tras de ti)
# En una sombra te... #
Forget about the pastry.
I'll just drag you to the bedroom.
Mm, bedroom, that sounds
very far away
# ..que se pierden (de la soledad)
# La suerte no vino conmigo
# Te busco perdida entre suenos
# El ruido de la gente
# Me envuelven en un velo
# Te busco volando en el cielo
# El viento te ha llevado
# Como un panuelo viejo #
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
Ah.
Ah.
Mm.
Thank you. Thanks.
Thanks very much.
Just a minute.
Well, look at what you've
gone and done.
Baked with my own fair hand.
Croissant?
Yes.
(CHUCKLES)
They're marmalade flavour.
People seem to like it.
Anything else?
All of it.
(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHS)
(MOBILE PHONE CHIMES)
(MOBILE PHONE WHISTLES)
"When was the last time you let
yourself ask for what you wanted
in the bedroom?"
Incredible.
Mm. Oh.
"We offer a service
that encourages women
to freely express what they want
without judgement.
(LAUGHTER)
We provide safe experiences
so women can begin to close
the pleasure gap.
This is a sexual wellness company
about learning how to practice
your pleasure.
And we'd love to help with the house
while we sort your orgasm."
(LAUGHTER)
"Because your pleasure
is worth asking for."
Mm.
Shall we take a look? Go on.
Refresh it.
Yep.
Oh!
Oh, my word.
Oh, that's crazy!
Oh.
Wow.
"Please unblock my drains."
(LAUGHTER)
(CHEERING)
(GLASSES CLINK)
# THE PHANTOMS: Good As Gold
# Can't knock me down
cos I'm a fighter
# Can't lock me in cos I'm on fire
# So get out of my way
I got something to say
# Can't hold me down no, no, no
# Gonna get what I want
I'm gonna take it
# Give me rule number one
I'm gonna break it
# Whoo-hoo, I'm gonna get
what I want today
# Whoo-hoo, it's just
the way that I roll
# Whoo-hoo, I'm gonna kick
this out my way
# Yeah, I'm as good as gold
# Nah, nah, nah, nah,
nah-nah-nah-nah-nah
# Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah-nah-nah
# Cut loose these strings,
I was meant to fly
# I got that thing
that you can't deny
# So wait till you see,
what I got on my sleeves
# Show my thing off, too,
yeah, yeah, yeah
# Gonna get what I want
I'm gonna take it
# Give me rule number one
I'm gonna break it
# Whoo-hoo, I'm gonna get
what I want today
# Whoo-hoo, it's just
the way that I roll
# Whoo-hoo, I'm gonna
kick this out my way
# Whoo-hoo
# Yeah, I'm as good as gold
# Nah, nah, nah, nah,
nah-nah-nah-nah-nah
# Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah-nah-nah
# Nah, nah, nah, nah,
nah-nah-nah-nah-nah
# Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah-nah-nah
# Nah, nah, nah, nah,
nah-nah-nah-nah-nah
# Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah-nah-nah
# Whoo-hoo, I'm gonna get
what I want today
# Whoo-hoo, it's just
the way that I roll
# Whoo-hoo, I'm gonna
kick this out my way
# Whoo-hoo
# Yeah, I'm as good as gold
# Nah, nah, nah, nah,
nah-nah-nah-nah-nah
# Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah-nah-nah #
# THEO CHINARA: Light It Up
AccessibleCustomerService@sky.uk