Hygge! (2023) Movie Script

- Did we order this?
- Well, what do you think?
- Did you order a dead pig?
- Yes.
- I thought we were just doing steaks.
- Too boring.
I want to make a ritual for our guests.
Fuck minimalism.
Aren't you setting it up?
- Setting it up?
- Yes.
I thought you'd mount the pig on the
stick and we only had to make a fire.
I only deliver the pig and the stick.
You take care of the rest.
What the hell are we gonna do?
Peter, go on YouTube.
Google it.
Be a man.
Figure it out.
- What's that?
- It's a free-range pig.
- Is this our dinner?
- Yes. We're having guests tonight.
I hate you!
Well done" Helene.
Go on YouTube or google
how not to traumatize your kid.
- Be a mom.
- Stop!
Pumpkin, listen.
I'm looking forward to meeting your
brother. What's his wife's name again?
- Gertrud.
- Gertrud?
- Yes.
- Seriously?
- Her name's Helene.
- Okay.
- I feel a bit nervous.
- Don't be nervous" honey.
- Everything's good.
- Are they nice?
Yes, they're nice.
You're nice. It's win-win.
I'll be back in two seconds.
We'd never dream of
eating that cute pig.
It was a mistake.
The neighbor probably ordered it.
- The psychopath?
- Yes.
Yes, I bet it was Psycho Lars
who ordered it.
It'll be great with a holiday.
- Where are you going?
- Mallorca.
Never been there,
but I hear it's a fantastic place.
Farewell, flowers"
have a great time.
- Take good care of them.
- I promise.
Flowers are like old people.
Just water them constantly.
Why do we eat dead animals?
We eat meat because
it contains a lot of protein.
It makes you big and strong.
But we only eat organic meat.
- But it's still animals.
- Yes.
But organic animals live a happy life
with grass and plenty of space.
- That's even worse.
- Why do you say that?
Because it's better to die
if you're unhappy.
How about watching a film on your iPad?
I'm really hungry.
You did tell them I'm vegan, right?
Yes. Pretty sure I mentioned it.
Should we tell them
I'm pregnant?
- Let's wait a little.
- Why?
I caused a traffic accident
that nearly killed my other brother.
We're celebrating his birthday today.
- What's that got to do with my pregnancy?
- They've wanted kids for years.
I can't waltz in with a new girlfriend
who got pregnant on our first date.
It's a pity they can't have children.
But that's got nothing to do with us.
Plus, they actually have a child.
- We haven't even had a scan yet.
- No, but we're going tomorrow.
I'll text a photo from the scan. I prefer
concrete proof rather than blabbering.
You'd rather send them a photo
than tell them today?
That's just how things roll
in my family.
Should we buy a bottle of wine?
No. Peter has a wine cellar and never
drinks anything we could afford.
You can't give them anything.
I'm hungry.
Happy birthday.
- Hi, Ibber.
- Hi.
- Who was that?
- Torleif. The guy from Norway.
Oh, that's him? I see.
- He looks sweet.
- Torleif's great.
- Shall we?
- Yes.
Is she okay?
I let her watch a film
on the iPad.
Force majeure.
I'm sorry I was snarky with you.
It's okay.
I was snarky, too. I'm sorry.
I love you.
I love you, too.
Have you been smoking?
What do we do?
They'll be here in an hour.
- Can we call the emergency chef?
- No. It'd be showing off too much.
- Hello!
- Hi there!
- You're early.
- Are we?
- What's this all about?
- We wanted to roast a pig, but...
- Isabel got traumatized.
- She wasn't traumatized.
- But... we'll have to re-think.
- We have to go shopping.
Maybe you guys
could look after Isabel?
- Hi. I'm Laura.
- I'm sorry. Peter and Helene.
- This is Laura.
- Sorry, we just panicked a bit.
- Nice to meet you.
- Peter.
I brought some natural wine.
It's not the most expensive stuff.
Put it in the wine cellar
for some years...
Thanks. The wine cellar? Actually"
you can't do that with natural wine.
I love natural wine.
I like natural wine, too.
Thank you so much. Nice box.
What about you, Ib?
No dating?
No. I feel like I'm in a quiet phase.
Doing some introspection.
- But you're okay?
- Oh, yes. Super okay.
Remember, we promised to be
120% honest with each other.
I thought you said 200% at the time.
When we agreed on an open relationship,
you mentioned 200% honesty.
First" you say 200% and now
you say 120%. It doesn't add up.
Are you hiding something
from me?
No. What should I be hiding?
Do you love Torsten?
- Torleif.
- Torleif. Are you in love with him?
Ib. It's you I love.
- She seems very young, doesn't she?
- Yes.
She looks like a 12-year-old.
Bordering on illegal.
It's just us who're getting old.
I think my brother
made a good catch.
She seems nice.
They seem happy.
You sound like you're
quite impressed?
This is just their summer house. They're
building this house for their real home.
- Insane.
- Yeah.
Holy shit.
How come they're so rich?
Peter started a software company
when he was 19 and sold it.
He practically retired at 26.
- What kind of software?
- I've never really understood.
- Something to do with cookies.
- He must be super intelligent.
He's lucky. I can't earn in a
lifetime what he earns in a month.
- What does Helene do?
- She's a psychologist.
- Hi!
- Hello!
What's that lovely smell?
Is it...
- Shopping bags?
- Very funny.
- We're a bit late but it'll be cozy.
- Super cozy!
- Hi, sis.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- My name's Laura.
- Hi. Is that your au pair?
- No! It's my girlfriend" Laura.
- Yes.
- Of course!
- Hi, Laura. Hi.
- My name's Hans-Fabian. Hi.
- Hi. Ib.
Hi, Ib. Laura.
I'm Helene's younger brother.
You can call me Fab if we hit it off.
- You will.
- We will.
A pleasure to meet you.
- Ehm... The wine?
- Yes. We have a little offering.
You haven't?! What do we have here?
You're not serious.
Guys! Wow!
- You know the way to my heart.
- We do.
- What curious stuff do we have here?
- It's natural wine.
- A company present?
- No, it's actually something...
- Laura.
- Laura brought.
- I see!
- How interesting!
It... comes in a nice box...
- And what does someone like you do?
- What do I do?
- Do you work or study?
- Yes" I'm studying at Fata Morgana.
- Okay!
- Okay, Fata Morgana. Is that...?
- It's a photography school.
- Exciting.
- Cool!
- So, you're becoming a photographer?
- Maybe. I don't know.
- No.
- What do you do?
- I'm a behavioral designer.
Okay. What does it mean to be
a behavioral designer?
Put simply,
we humans have a kind of -
- an operating system
that defines our behavior.
But sometimes,
there's a "glitch in the software".
That's where I step in
and do my magic.
Don't worry, honey. I can fix you!
Here's a little thirst quencher.
- Wonderful.
- Thanks.
- What about Erica? Is she coming?
- Yes. She must be on her way.
- How is she?
- I think it's hard for her.
But... she's a tough cookie.
- Let's drink to Jesper.
- Yes.
- To Jesper.
- Cheers.
It must be
hard for you as well, Nicolaj.
- Even though it wasn't your fault.
- No, no.
I think it's hard for us all.
I stopped by Erica's gallery
the other day. She seemed happy.
She actually seemed
strangely unaffected by it all.
But what do I know?
You can't go around being sad 24/7.
"What do I know?"
You're the shrink, aren't you?
You can say that people possess
a unique ability to normalize.
Even the most insane circumstances
become normal incredibly fast.
Then you might as well
be in a coma.
What do you mean?
If you normalize everything, you go
through life without sensing it.
- Hi, Erica! So good to see you.
- Hi, love.
- Hi!
- This is my girlfriend" Laura.
- Hi.
- Oh" hi. Nice to meet you.
What's the difference between
a behavioral designer and a psychologist?
Funny you should ask.
A psychologist mostly just talks,
whereas a behavioral designer acts.
Or a psychologist tries to find
the root of the problem.
While a behavioral designer
fixes the symptoms.
The hourly rate of a psychologist
is 240 euros.
A behavioral designer
gets up to 1,300 euros.
- No way!
- That's crazy!
- And what about you?
- What's my hourly rate?
- Or what do you do?
- I'm an accountant.
And a Formula 1 driver on the side.
The woman of my dreams is
50% accountant, 50% masseuse.
Then all my needs are covered.
A psychologist is
an accountant for your emotions.
- I'm not the woman of your dreams?
- Yes" you are. I was joking.
Well, the man of my dreams
has a good sense of humor.
- That would be me, then. Cheers.
- Hi" honey.
- Hi!
- Hi.
Would you like to have a seat?
Can I have an aperitif, too?
- Yes. What would you like?
- A virgin Mojito.
- Nice choice.
- Maybe Dad can help you make one.
- Are you making one for all of us?
- Do we have fresh peppermint?
I didn't know about apetirifs
until I was 30.
You still don't. It's aperitifs.
You said "apetirif".
It's aperitif.
- Does it taste right?
- Here are the appetizers.
We have organic dates that I
personally smuggled out of Morocco -
- in a blanket of
beechwood smoked bacon.
The dates are glazed with Manuka honey
from New Zealand -
- characterized by its spicy,
slightly sour taste.
And a sprinkle of fresh mint
to kick the sweetness in the ass.
- I hope you like it.
- Bravo!
- Cheers to the chef.
- Cheers.
- Cheers!
- Cheers.
We should sing "Happy Birthday"!
- Should we?
- Isn't it a bit weird?
- Whose birthday is it?
- It's Jesper's birthday.
- Where is he?
- Jesper's still in hospital.
- What's he doing there?
- He's sleeping right now.
- Yes.
- He's sleeping on his birthday?
- It would still be nice to sing, right?
- Sure.
Erica, what do you think?
I think we should sing "Happy Birthday".
It's a good idea.
Today it's Jesper's birthday
hooray hooray hooray
he will receive a gift or two
his many wishes will come true
and we will celebrate
with candles on the cake
That was so nice.
Very nice.
- Good night, honey.
- Good night, Mom.
- But, Mom?
- Yeah?
If Jesper dies, will he become
a piece of organic meat?
No. Why do you say that?
Because he's had a happy life.
Yes... Yes.
- Did you say Makuna honey?
- Manuka.
- From New Zealand?
- We went there last summer.
- I've never been to New Zealand.
- No.
Do you say "in" New Zealand
or "on" New Zealand?
- It's "in". When it's a country.
- Yes. That's the rule.
I know a game we could play
if you're up for it.
- It's not Truth or Dare, is it?
- No.
No" we all place our mobile phones
on the table.
And any calls or messages
we receive are shared with everyone.
So if you receive a message,
you have to read it out loud?
And if someone calls,
you have to put it on speaker.
I don't think it's a good idea.
I tried it at a party. You get
to know each other in a different way.
Instead of controlling how you'd
like to be seen" you just let go.
- I like that.
- It sounds fun.
I don't feel a need to know
you better than I already do.
It takes courage and for you
not to have nasty secrets.
- Do you have nasty secrets, honey?
- No. I don't even lock my phone.
- What about the rest of you?
- Well, it's a kind of hostage situation.
If you say no to your game"
it's like admitting having secrets.
I thought people your age
had put your record straight?
- Now" now!
- "People our age!"?
It was nice seeing you
Ib and I have an open relationship.
So, at least we have no secrets.
- Isn't that right, Ibber?
- Yes" that's right.
We're somewhere between 120 to 200% honest
with each other.
- You have an open relationship?
- Yes.
- How interesting.
- Yes.
- You find it interesting?
- Yes. It takes courage" right?
It's the ultimate self-deception
if you ask me.
It's like wanting to be a couple
and single at the same time.
- It's like filing for bankruptcy.
- I disagree.
The ultimate self-deception is to
believe you can only love one person.
That you could never feel like having
sex with anyone but your spouse.
We all know it's a lie.
Ib and I don't want to live that lie.
I promise you
it's extremely liberating -
- to be 100% honest about
your lust and your needs.
To flirt and have sex with other
people without it being a crime.
- What?
- 100%?
- So, now we're down to 100% honesty?
- Stop it" Ib.
Have you noticed how two pieces of fruit
rot faster if they're next to each other?
It's a good metaphor for marriage.
You speed up each other's rotting process.
- A form of passive euthanasia.
- Drunk already?
Or in Helene's case:
Passive aggressive euthanasia.
- It was a joke.
- I wasn't amused.
Perhaps Erica wasn't either. Jesper's
in a coma while you're telling bad jokes.
Don't be offended on my behalf.
I thought it was quite funny.
Here we have the liver of a goose -
- that was force-fed and suffered
all its life to bring us pleasure.
It comes with organic baby cornichons,
- It looks so delicious!
But what about the game
Laura suggested? Was it killed off?
- It was, wasn't it?
- What game?
- Clara suggested a...
- Laura.
Fuck. Laura suggested a game where
we all put our phones on the table -
- and then you have to share
all incoming calls and texts.
- Bad idea. Just forget about it.
- I think we should go for it.
This sounds really interesting.
- Now she became progressive aggressive.
- Shut up!
I'm with you" Sis. I find it super
interesting and have nothing to hide.
I think...
oh, that was my phone.
- The game's already on!
- A selfie from my other boyfriend.
- This is Torleif. From Norway.
- Handsome guy.
- Thank you. Isn't he cute?
- Can I see?
- Okay!
- Can you please turn it my way?
- He's working out.
- So I see.
Now I'll put it here.
Come on" you guys!
- I can feel this'll be fun.
- Let's do it.
Is this turning into a teen party?
- Peter, find your phone.
- Alright.
Okay... let's play.
- Ibber, come on.
- Okay. Fine with me.
Here you are.
- Come on, honey.
- Come on, Nicolaj.
- This is totally ridiculous.
- Great!
It's so exciting.
Now, we're playing.
I have Jesper's phone in my purse.
Shouldn't he join the game?
Wouldn't we run into
an ethical dilemma if...
- I was just joking.
- Ha ha, quite funny!
We can eat while playing, right?
Honey? Why is your phone
on airplane mode?
That's an alternative way of
playing the game.
- It's a mistake. It's...
- What an annoying mistake.
- What was that?
- It was mine.
- The first message! Let's hear it.
- What does it say?
It's Amnesty International. I support
them and they send texts, occasionally.
- This game is just nerve wracking.
- But she has to read it out loud?
I'll read it out loud.
"Woman stoned to death
on her birthday.
Stop the violence in Bahrain.
Reply STOP to this text. "
- Did you reply?
- Yes.
Great that we stopped the violence in
Bahrain. Now we can enjoy ourselves.
- Cheers!
- Cheers.
It's about helping where you can.
If thousands of people reply, it'll
raise awareness and apply pressure.
Your text is
going straight into thin air.
You pay 25 euros a month to pacify
your Western bad consciousness.
And then you drive up to your summer house
in your Tesla and eat nice steaks.
The glass is half full or half empty.
You choose how you meet the world.
Seems like Erica's glass is
completely empty. Ready for red wine?
- It's about time" isn't it?
- Yes.
And speaking of steaks...
I'm going to check out the grill.
- So" you didn't tell them I'm vegan?
- I believe I mentioned it.
- I'm so hungry I could puke.
- Peter?
I told you Laura is vegan, right?
No. You didn't.
- Vegan as in...?
- Zero meat. Zero fish.
Zero animal products.
No eggs.
- Now, we're fucked.
- It's okay. Apple is fine.
It's not fine.
Why didn't you tell me?
- I feel like I've told you.
- I don'tfeel you have.
Because thenl feel I wouldn't
have served her bacon and foie gras.
I get it.
- Isn't there this new vegan place?
- Yes, she's right.
Great. They do take-away,
delivered by a drone!
- Let's make the best out of it.
- Let's try it!
Forget your boyfriend is an idiot.
Order anything you like -
- and they'll send the food with a drone.
It's totally crazy.
- I look forward to it.
- So" cigarette break?
- You're still smoking?
- Let her smoke!
I smoke a little pot.
Otherwise, it's all too boring.
Stop! Don't take your phone.
It has to stay on the table.
- There you are.
- Perfect.
Chana masala, one of those.
Chutney, extra rice.
Khatta meetha.
Order anything you like.
Go crazy.
So, here you are.
- Would you like a puff?
- No, I'm fine. Or yes" okay.
- Done. Now it's ordered.
- Perfect!
- Cheers to the food. And the drone.
- Cheers. It'll be great.
Did you notice
we have the same kind of phone?
Funny, isn't it?
You're a real Huawei girl?
I wouldn't say that.
I'm not really into tech.
Me neither.
I hate Apple, at least.
It's mental abuse.
You put all your eggs in one basket.
IPhone, iMac, iWatch" iPad and...
...iWanna puke.
You constantly need to update
while battery life decreases...
...and prices go up at the same time.
Finally" I said: "Apple" stop!"
It's an assault, you know?
So, I switched to the enemy.
A loss of status" but I just won't stay in
an abusive relationship with Apple.
I don't want to be a victim
for the rest of my life.
Do you and Huawei
have an open relationship then?
Would you be willing to swap phones
with me for a couple of hours?
- Why would I?
- No one would notice. They're identical.
But for what reason
should we swap phones?
I can't tell you.
It's a secret.
You must tell me what could show up
on your phone, so I can consider it.
It's of criminal nature.
Okay! Interesting.
I've hired a guy
to kidnap Ringo.
- Who the fuck is Ringo?
- Shh!
Ringo. Fab's stupid dog.
Who I take care of while he travels
the world and fucks anything that moves.
Didn't you agree to have
an open relationship?
I did. But what's my alternative?
A life without a dog, perhaps?
I told the kidnapper
to do it tonight.
At 10, he'll send me a photo with
the message "mission accomplished".
Nobody will be happy
if that one slips out.
How do I explain that I've received
a photo of Ringo on my phone?
Just say it's for an exhibition. Art.
You feel that Apple is the
violent part in your relationship?
But you're planning to kidnap
your husband's dog?
You don't know the details.
- What's that?
- It's Ib's phone. Ib!
Let's do a Huawei swap.
There's no way I'll take part in
your sick plot.
- No! You're sick in the head.
- No, I'm not.
- Ib. You've got a message.
- Okay. Thanks.
I'm coming right now.
Can I do it myself? Thanks.
Ah! It's just my fitness app.
What does it say?
It's a reminder. I have to
do an exercise every two hours.
Is the exercise to lift a fork?
- We have to see the exercise.
- No!
- Yes" he's right.
- No, we don't need to.
- Is it a part of the game or what?
- I'd like to see it.
- Great, Ib!
- It's the hardest one" of course.
My god!
Shouldn't you stretch your back out?
So you're looking at the ceiling?
- That's it, Ib.
- Come on, Ib. Stretch your legs.
Enough is enough" Nicolaj.
That should do it. 10-20 reps?
- Was that all?
- Yes.
- It's like walking up the stairs.
- No, that's not true.
How's your dog spa doing, Nicolaj?
- It closed.
- But you did have a dog spa?
- Spa and gym.
- Yes. Doggy Style.
- Too bad we never took Ringo there.
- It's a shame.
- You had an infra-red dog sauna?
- Sauna, massage, gym. Everything.
Sounds like such a brilliant concept.
Was it a flop or what?
No, it was a success.
It felt unethical to make
that much money, so I closed it.
Did you invest in Doggy Style, Peter?
I stopped investing in Nicolaj
after his virtual skydiving park.
- I was ahead of my time.
- Oh, yes.
Now I run a "Plantel".
A "Plantel"? What's that?
A hotel for plants.
Plantel. What to do with your plants
while on holiday?
I have the solution: Plantel.
Pick-up free of charge.
And then I pamper them
while people enjoy their holiday.
How do you pamper flowers?
It's interesting.
Give them extra minerals. Music.
Talk to them.
- Talk to them?
- Who knows?
- Oh!
- Who's Jannik?
- A friend of mine.
- Maybe he needs help with a flower?
Do I have to put it on speaker?
- Hi, Jannik.
- Hi, Nicolaj. Are you game?
- It's a safe bet.
- Sounds good.
You'll put in five big ones, right?
- Yes. Already taken care of.
- Super! Are you watching the game?
Actually, I'm having dinner
at my brother's.
I thought you hated their guts?
- I'll send you updates, okay?
- Yes. Bye.
Five big ones, Nicolaj?
Me, Jannik and another guy
have a bet. It's just soccer.
Five big ones. Is that 500?
- Yes.
- Yes.
- Are you sure about that?
- Is it 5,000?!
You just asked me to chip in
5"000 for rent. You gambled it?
- Naturally.
- Naturally? I don't quite understand.
If we win"
we'll get six times the amount.
- I thought you'd stopped gambling?
- Don't act like I have a problem.
It's less money
than you paid for that chair.
Sure. But contrary to you"
I've got the money.
And yes, Nicolaj.
You have a problem.
That's why I paid for
your rehab in Sweden. Remember?
- Peter.
- I can talk to him, can't I?
That was apparently
money right down the drain.
Your phone, Peter.
It must be the moral police.
Who is it?
It's a reminder from the dentist.
I have an appointment on Thursday.
- I love going to the dentist.
- Mom?
Hi, sweetheart.
You're not asleep yet? Why not?
I can't sleep.
You're making too much noise.
I swapped our phones.
The code is 6 times 7.
- Shall I tuck you in again?
- Yes.
- Sweet dreams, love.
- Good night.
- Would you like some water?
- Yes, please.
Go to your room
and I'll get you some.
Here you are, honey.
I get it that you're wearing goggles,
but how do you parachute?
It's a bit like bungee jumping.
It felt like a wedgie.
The video looked crap.
The graphics weren't optimal.
Computers were expensive.
Oh! There was a...
Honey, it's your phone.
Read it out loud.
- What number is this?
- Read it.
- Read it out loud.
- We're excited now.
What does it say?
"I miss your hot body. "
- Who is writing that to you?
- No idea. It must be a mistake.
- Is that why you put it on airplane mode?
- I don't know that number.
- Who's writing this to you?
- No idea!
It's ringing.
What shall I do?
Answer it!
Or I'll do it for you.
No. Put it on speaker.
Hello" who is this?
Oh" Nicolaj.
- I miss you so much.
- Who is it?
It's me, Nicolaj.
I'm totally naked.
I'm touching myself.
Oh, Nicolaj!
Do you like it
when I touch myself?
Miss you so much.
- Fuck off!
- So funny!
- Fuck! I knew it was a joke.
- You didn't!
You had no idea!
Oh, the look on your face!
- What phone are you calling from?
- My work phone.
- You have a burner phone?
- Put it on the table.
- You have to do it.
- No way. It's client confidentiality.
What a rotten trick.
Now there's one more.
Peter? I didn't think you had any friends.
Who's texting?
It's the take-away.
Food's coming.
- The drone is on its way.
- I'm looking forward to it.
- It's totally sci-fi.
- Totally.
- What the hell was that?
- I think it got shot down.
- No!
- That can't be true.
- Would Psycho Lars shoot down a drone?
- Probably. It's our neighbor.
- What are we gonna do?
- My chana masala.
My mango chutney.
We have to find it.
I'm afraid that's quite impossible.
We can't find shot down takeaway
in a dark forest.
My mango chutney!
I think I found something.
What is it? It's the chutney!
- My mango chutney.
- Wow...
May I present the star of tonight:
Thank you so much.
Who wants a taste? Laura?
I'm not that fond of red wine.
- Fine. Nicolaj?
- I'll pass.
- More for us. You'd like some.
- Yes, please.
- I'd love some, too.
- The two of us are ready.
And Laura. I look very much forward
to tasting your natural wine.
I should never have brought it.
Why didn't you stop me?
I tried. It doesn't matter.
Fuck it.
- So, what are we experiencing?
- Red fruit. Beautiful ruby color.
This sense of soil, mushrooms,
primeval stone.
A slightly floral tone.
- Nivea lotion!
- Nivea lotion?
- You're just making things up now.
- The aftertaste is Nivea. I promise.
Now" it's my turn. Exciting.
Let's see what it is.
- It's a Snap.
- Hi. Cheers.
- Looking forward to Lillehammer.
- He's started learning Danish.
- I miss you. See you soon.
- Yes" see you.
- Oh, he's so cute.
- He looks like you.
I don't think so.
I think it's time
to say good night to Torleif?
I'll send him a Snap later.
I want you to do it in writing.
Fine. I'll send him a text then.
I know it'll sound all wrong,
In a strange way, I feel closer
to Jesper since he fell into a coma.
I'll do it. I'll do it.
It's like we're communicating in
this wordless, metaphysical way.
It makes sense that...
...that language can be
a sort of distancing filter -
in human interaction.
It would be cool with me
if all conversations were cut by 80%.
I feel the same. If it can't fit into
a spreadsheet, I can't relate.
- Isn't that a bit sad?
- Yes.
Or boring, at least.
Of course, when you sit for as many
hours as I do in front of a screen, -
- at some point,
at the end of the day, -
- a world will peep out
behind the numbers.
A world that is spiritual and... I believe
you used the word "metaphysical"?
- Yes.
- So I feel we're on the same wavelength.
- Someone's calling. Who is it?
- It's mine.
- Hi, Dad.
- Hi, love. Listen.
I talked to Doctor Abrahamsen
and I have some good news.
I was supposed to call him.
He called me about something else,
but then we started talking about you.
and able to do your operation there.
I'll check my schedule tomorrow.
Helene. You know Abrahamsen is
booked up two years in advance.
He's squeezing you in
as a personal favor to me.
Thanks" Dad.
It's just short notice.
Do you want new boobs or not?
When Abrahamsen can find the time,
you find the time.
- Fine. Tell him I'll call him.
- Great, little darling. Bye.
- That's so typical of Dad.
- What's so typical?
I've been begging for an appointment
with Doctor Abrahamsen.
But when the favorite daughter calls,
she just jumps the line.
You're having a boob job?
"Little darling"?
But why?
You're beautiful as you are.
That's what I say.
It's not that I want them bigger.
I just want them to sit like before.
Give it 15 years,
and you'll understand.
But you're a psychologist.
Are psychologists
not allowed nice breasts?
Yes, of course they are. But...
But what? What's the problem?
There's no problem.
I just thought a psychologist -
- should help people
to respect themselves.
So, women who get a boob job
have no self-respect?
That's not what I'm hearing.
But why doesn't your dad
do your new breasts?
Isn't he Denmark's best
plastic surgeon? Would it be weird?
- Involving your dad is sick.
- I don't think you need it.
Helene's breasts are beautiful.
- They sit... or hang, exactly right.
- Shut up.
- I'm getting tired of this game.
- You were quite into it, earlier?
But maybe we're
done talking about my boobs.
But if Peter is against it,
who are you getting new boobs for?
I'm doing it for myself.
I have wants and needs
independent of Peter.
- You don't care what Peter thinks?
- I don't know what Peter thinks.
He's bad at complimenting people.
Especially me.
- I just said you're beautiful.
- You used my tits as fuel for a bad joke.
The subtext was you're perfect as you are.
You have to be a dramaturgist
to understand what you mean.
I'm sorry.
We'll just buy a new one.
That's how we solve all our problems.
Are you all right?
- What happened?
- Peter just spilled some wine.
- I think so.
I can smell Nivea lotion.
You don't care I ruined your shirt?
You'll just throw it away?
Didn't you just say
we'll buy a new one?
It was a gift from me. It was
tailor-made for you in Morocco.
- You just don't care?
- No! I don't fucking care!
Please don't shout.
When things happen in life,
good or bad, -
- it opens up a room for
reactions and emotions.
Your tendency is to fill up that room with
your emotions and your reactions.
I can't...
There's no room for me.
You suck up all the air
and I can't breathe.
You're projecting. But thanks
for your fine psychological analysis.
Quite impressing. The truth is you
suck at being present emotionally.
And you try to put the blame on me.
And I won't accept it.
I want a divorce.
Let's talk about it
when you aren't shitfaced.
Are you two okay?
Yes. Everything's fine.
- What's a date?
- A date is a date.
Yes, but...
A raisin is a dried grape, right?
A prune is a dried plum.
But a date?
You have fresh dates
and dried dates.
But it somehow breaks the system.
Why don't dried dates
have a name like raisins and prunes?
I'm feeling weird now.
- I'm going to have some meat.
- Just do it.
She's doing it.
Meat! She's doing it!
Laura! Laura! Laura!
Laura! Laura! Laura!
- Yeah!
- Laura! Laura!
- Is it good?
- Wonderful.
- Honey, it's your phone.
- Is it me?
- Uh-oh.
- Uh-oh.
It's my ex.
Can I skip this one?
- No!
- You can't just skip a call.
- It's too embarrassing.
- Those are the rules.
You have to answer.
Okay. okay.
- Hello.
- Laura. I miss you.
Uh... Hi, Mark. I'm having dinner
with some friends. Can we talk later?
Are you with Nicolaj?
Yes. I am.
- Fucking twat. I'll kill him!
- Mark, are you drunk again?
I don't get it.
You prefer him
despite his small dick?
In what world does a small dick
beat a big dick?
You're drunk.
Let's talk later. Bye.
- Hey! You can't just hang up.
- I have to spare him.
- Who?
- Mark. It's humiliating.
You find it humiliating for him?
- You're not just sparing yourself?
- And Nicolaj. He's humiliated, too.
- I'm confused about the rules here.
- I agree.
She brings a game to the table.
And then she breaks the rules.
- Maybe it was a really bad game.
- No" it's a good game.
But do we go all-in or not?
I'm out if the rules can be bent
when you want.
I said from the start
it's a stupid game.
Let's have a vote.
Who wants to go on?
- I vote yes.
- Me, too.
- Stop it.
- Raise your hand.
- My hand is raised. If everybody's in...
- Everybody's not in.
Four in favor. We continue.
- It's only fun if everybody plays.
- We call it democracy.
Laura has to back her own game.
We're all vulnerably exposed.
I talked about my breasts.
Nicolaj has just been informed
that his penis size isn't optimal.
It's the girth that counts
as you all surely know.
- Good.
- Well. It's Mark again.
- So, let's hear it.
- We're so excited. Bring it on.
"Why do I have to hear from
other people that you're pregnant?"
"Are you sure I'm not the father?",
he writes.
Are you pregnant?
How many weeks?
We're having
the 12-week scan tomorrow.
- Congratulations.
- Yes, congratulations.
Then it makes sense
that you suddenly felt like having meat.
And mango chutney.
It makes perfect sense.
You have cravings.
Eating for two.
It seems like the other one
is someone who wants meat.
I just didn't want to
tell you this way.
- Don't think about it.
- Good news is good news.
- We have to celebrate.
- Yes! Let's have the natural wine.
- Now is the time!
- Yes.
- It's a screw cap.
- Now you can't even taste it.
- That's why you said no earlier?
- I can't drink alcohol.
I'll pass.
A little one is growing inside you.
- Give me a big glass.
- Me, too.
It's so weird
with all these hormones...
- Yes.
- It's a new world to get used to.
- I understand.
- What's going to happen?
- We're in the lead.
- Ah, it's the game. Is it finished?
No, but we're in the lead.
30 big ones, my man!
- Congratulations.
- This is so great.
I think I'll just go to the toilet.
- Shall I go with her?
- No, it has to be Nicolaj.
Are you okay, honey?
Are you angry?
- Why would I be angry?
- Because I made a bet.
No. Do what you like.
What is it, then?
I was really looking forward to
meeting your brother and his family.
But I've just shown myself up
as a big idiot.
Don't think like that.
They all love you.
And you had your way.
Now you've told them you're pregnant.
- Yes. In such an amazing way.
- Pregnancy outshines everything.
When you play the pregnancy card,
all is forgiven.
Are you sure?
Is there a real chance
that Mark could be the father?
- Why do you say that?
- It's a reasonable question.
You left him for me.
You got pregnant on our first date.
Yes. But I know who the father is.
And it's... me?
How long was the gap between you sleeping
with him to you sleeping with me?
Long enough!
Then how come he knows
I have a small dick?
- One for you and one for you.
- No thanks.
- It contains eggs. I can't.
You just ate meat.
- Yes" but now I'm vegan again.
- I see.
- Did you know?
- No.
- Respect.
- We'll leave it. You never know.
- It goes back and forth. Eat!
- Thanks.
It looks bloody fantastic.
- Silky smooth.
- Wow! Yes.
Holy shit, this is delicious.
- Oh. There's a message.
- Exciting.
Whose phone is it?
- I think it's for you, Erica.
- Oh, you're right.
How sweet.
Aw! Finally" a nice message.
It's crazy how much
that dog looks like Ringo.
- Same breed.
- Same breed? It looks like the same dog.
- It probably isn't.
- No" I don't think so either.
- Whose dog is it?
- It's... an artist I represent.
- Okay.
- And his name is?
- Kirchen?
- Is he German?
- Yes" German.
- I don't think I've heard of him.
- Yes.
- He's quite up-and-coming. Right?
- He is.
- What does he write?
- Oh, yes. What does he write?
He writes,
"Mission accomplished. "
"Mission accomplished"?
What does it mean?
It's because he's...
He's preparing a performance.
He's going to hypnotize a dog.
- Hypnotize a dog?
- Yes.
He's been searching for
the perfect dog for a long time.
And it looks like
he finally succeeded.
- Sounds fun.
- I didn't know it was possible.
- So, it's going to be hypnotized?
- I can't reveal much.
- But it's very exciting.
- Ibber, I thought you were driving?
I'm starting to worry about
the alcohol limit.
- We didn't agree on anything.
- No.
You probably assumed I'm driving
because your needs always comes first.
We'll just get a taxi.
No! Stop it. I'll drive. A bit of
drunk driving isn't a problem.
- You're welcome to sleep here.
- We'll get a taxi.
- If Ib wants a drink...
- Then we'll just get a taxi.
What a funny sound.
I think it's you, Ib.
Me? Oh, you're right.
- Did your phone make that sound?
- Yes.
It usually makes a different sound.
Huawei moves in mysterious ways.
- Now the code won't work.
- How odd.
Yes, I don't know how to...
Oh, there it is.
- Let's see.
- Who's it from?
It's from Simone?
Simone? Who's Simone?
I figure it's the new cleaning lady
from work.
What does she say?
"How are you?
I just want to say I'm sorry. "
- Cute.
- Yes.
I have to get this straight.
You've got a new cleaning lady.
Why is she writing "sorry" to you
so late at night?
- What did she do to you?
- She didn't do anything to me.
I think it was me
who was out of line.
I was a bit hard on her.
I was annoyed that she didn't
wipe the plants.
Come on, Ibber!
- She just started. Give her a break.
- I will.
- I'd just had a bad day.
- As you do sometimes.
I hired her for her skills.
My company isn't a training facility.
She has to be ready from the start.
I'm A-People and A-People hire A-People.
If you're not A-People, get lost.
- There's no need to get worked up.
- I'm not worked up!
You just don't get it"
so I have to spell it out.
A- People hire A-People.
B- people hire C-People. I'm A-People, Fab.
Yes. I got it.
So will A-People
reply to the message or what?
- Yes. Should I?
- Yes. Definitely.
- You were a bit snippy.
- Write "Don't apologize. "
"Sorry. I had a bad day.
I think you do a good job. "
No, no, no. I really don't think
you should write that.
Why not?
Well, like Ib says
she's only just been hired.
You don't know her.
Or her motives.
Excuse me. It seems like an honest
attempt at making up with her boss.
- I agree with my brother.
- I think Erica's got a point.
I don't really know her.
And there's something about Simone
that seems a bit measly. In a way.
Stop it" you two!
Measly? Why do you have such strong
opinions on how Ib should reply?
- She's just trying to help.
- Once smitten twice shy.
- What?
- It's "once bitten twice shy".
- "Smitten" means something else.
- That's what I said.
- Now you're mansplaining. Love it.
- But you said it wrong!
- Honey, you're gaslighting.
- No! Bullshit!
- She said it wrong.
- This game has got sidetracked.
I'm just saying that... I've tried
being the victim of malicious texts.
Yes. I have.
I was forced
to give out information -
- which the person ended up
using against me. Threatened to use.
Yes. It was so tough for me.
- Thanks, Erica, for sharing.
- I'm just saying.
Yes. But the saying is still
"once bitten twice shy".
- "1-2" he writes.
- Is the game over?
Is it?
- Stop betting money you don't have.
- Not now, Laura.
She's right.
Fuck! Shit!
I totally respect
it was a horrible experience for you.
But how on earth could Ib's reply
possibly be used against him?
A person just shared
something very personal.
Perhaps you could just listen
to what was shared for once.
- I heard what she said.
- Did you really?
- You're doing it again.
- You're steamrollering.
- No!
- You're steamrollering now.
Can't you hear it?
That's what scaring me.
You're totally blind to it.
- Who is it?
- It's Simone again.
What's she saying now?
"Why aren't you answering me?"
Should I reply? What shall I do?
Just write that you're with friends
at a dinner party.
- No hard feelings" you'll be in touch.
- No, no" no. It's too private.
It's none of her business
where you are or what you're doing.
Fuck you
- Did she message again?
- "Fuck you"?
- What the...? Really!
- "Fuck you"?
Why is she texting that?
What kind of person is she?
She doesn't sound like A-People.
Okay, she's calling.
What should I do?
- Answer the call.
- Yes, do it.
Answer the call.
Ib" answer the call.
It'll stop ringing in a minute.
- Yes?
- Hi! I've been texting you.
Why aren't you answering me?
That's not okay.
- Hello? Are you there?
- Mm.
I'd be very happy if you started
considering what you want.
If you want to be with me
or not.
Find out if you're even
into women.
Is that the problem?
Think it over and let me know.
This is making me sad.
I can't really feel... anything.
Okay... I don't believe this.
Honey, you don't believe this" right?
- Ib" what's going on?
- I don't know.
I must've sent out
signals of some sort -
that she totally misunderstood.
Is she the type who's turned on
by getting yelled at by her boss?
I've had this feeling from the start, -
that she's B-People.
She's been with us for two weeks.
And I seriously doubt that we'll keep her.
And then there's something...
...like a religious cult vibe
about her.
- Yes...
- Maybe she's on a... mission?
Because of her religious beliefs.
They love to convert homosexuals.
Maybe she's been operating undercover
and found out you're gay.
If she succeeds in converting you,
she'll report to her community -
- they probably have some kind of a score
system and claim a winner every year.
- Okay!
- Wow.
You have some serious work to do
before you become a father.
I'm explaining that there might be
nothing to worry about.
You're right.
Not that I support your theory...
I respect it.
But the truth is
that it's really nothing.
It's ringing again.
- "I miss your kisses. "
- No, no, no! This is just...
What the hell's going on?
You owe me an explanation.
- What the hell are you doing?
- Take it easy.
Aren't you the one who's traveling
the world" fucking everyone?
I am, Ib.
Because the two of us agreed
to live in an open relationship.
Yes. We did.
- So, this is my new girlfriend.
- But... You can't...
What's the main ingredient
in an open relationship? Honesty.
You're not honest if you live...
I feel you have
a free relationship to honesty.
It varies from 200% to 120%.
Sometimes, it even goes down to 100%.
Fuck your percents!
We didn't make an agreement in Excel!
We made an agreement
between our hearts.
I wasn't aware that the agreement included
changing your sexual orientation.
I just don't get it.
Are you straight now?
No. I'm just improvising.
Going off-piste.
Okay... Going off-piste.
- I think maybe this game's...
- No. It's fine.
Our relationship is based on an agreement
where you do as you please.
- While I...
- No.
While I have to conform to your needs.
I'm sick of it.
For once" I'm following my own needs.
It's kill or cure.
I am A-People, Fab.
But you treat me like C-People.
Peter, I'd like you
to call a taxi for me now.
Damn it.
I'm honest about my needs.
It's up to you who you want to be.
But you don't take on responsibility.
It's a crime against yourself
and me and our relationship.
How long has this been going on?
- It's brand new.
- I have to...
No, you don't!
I'm good.
- It's brand new?
- Mm.
Okay. Why the hell
didn't you just fuck a man?
Have you been with a woman?
Ib? But why?
I need to puke.
Why does it matter it's a woman?
The dates made him feel sick" too.
Maybe there's a connection.
- I think we should stop this game.
- Fuck this game.
Fuck this game. Sorry.
It was a blast with my friends.
- Leave it.
- Yes. We're done playing.
No. Let's finish what we started.
Who's texting?
- It's a fitness app.
- Okay.
A fitness app?
- You've got a fitness app, too?
- It's a reminder.
Can I see it?
- Yes. You see?
- It's the same as yours" Ib.
Funny... We have the same.
Did you swap phones?
Erica" this is your phone, right?
- Yes, it is.
- So, you've swapped phones.
Ib just did it.
I was against it from the start.
What the hell are you doing?
Don't you know how it...
How can you lie about...
Was it Ringo in that photo?
Was it fucking Ringo?!
- I knew it!
- Stop right now.
Where's Ringo?
With all respect,
another question is more urgent.
Erica, are you dating a Simone
while Jesper's in a coma?
- I insist on an answer right now.
- Ringo's a dog!
Erica owes us an explanation.
Erica, look at me.
- I don't owe you anything.
- You do!
Jesper's my brother. We've invested
in your relationship. Emotionally.
And financially, in your gallery.
So, I've got a right to ask.
Jesper's in a coma,
but it doesn't mean -
- that he or I or our relationship
is sacred.
Actually, we've been struggling
for a long time.
We're trying to honor our brother with
hygge while you're fucking a woman!
You can't plan hygge!
You can't decide, "On this date,
we'll have hygge. "
And you can't buy hygge.
Some other parameters
need to be present.
- What parameters, tell us.
- For instance" not being an asshole.
Which this game has painfully proven
we all are.
I'm not an asshole.
I've cooked for you all evening.
I did my best to give you a nice time
and didn't get any rotten messages.
- Don't make it all about you.
- You're so loud.
You're talking too loudly.
I can't sleep.
I'm sorry" honey. Come here.
- Can I have some dessert, too?
- Yes.
Yes" you can have mine.
- It's really delicious.
- It tastes great.
- Is it a good party?
- Yes. It's super nice.
We're having a nice time.
- It sounded like you were arguing.
- No" we're not arguing, sweetheart.
Sometimes it sounds like that
when adults are partying.
But we're having a nice time.
Do you know
what I learned in school today?
- No, what?
- I learned about atoms.
About atoms?
What did you learn about atoms?
I learned that atoms
are 99.8% empty space.
And we're all made of atoms.
So, that means -
- that if you took the empty spaces
from all the humans on the planet" -
- what was left could be squashed
into the size of a sugar cube.
- Wow, Isabel.
- I didn't know that.
- That's crazy.
- Mm.
I think this party is
a bit boring.
I understand.
- Do you want to dance?
- Not now.
The guests were just about to leave.
And we're going to bed.
- We should dance.
- Sweetheart...
- We're not going to dance.
- We'll have a nice time.
- Why are you stopping the music?
- I think it was the hospital.
- The hospital?
- Yes. I think so.
It wasn't your fault.
That was... the hospital.
- Jesper's awake.
- What?
- Come here.
- Why are they crying?
- Because Jesper woke up.
- Is that sad?
- We're just happy, honey.
- Why do you cry when you're happy?
I thought I was fucked up and people
your age had your shit together.
But you're ten times
more fucked up than I am.
Will we turn out like that?
Not if we're careful.
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