I Am Not a Witch (2017) Movie Script
Yes, how are you?
Ticket is ten Kwacha.
It's a lot of money.
How are you?
Thank you.
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
Hello sir.
Fine, thank you.
I'm so excited.
Thank you.
I just wanted to really find out:
what are those ribbons for, behind them?
These are used to prevent
these witches from flying.
They cannot fly anymore.
Yeah, can't fly now.
Ok so in broad daylight, they can fly?
Yeah, they do fly even during the day
but as they are now they can't.
- How far will they be able?
- Anywhere. They can even go to UK.
- Oh really? That far?
- Yes.
They can fly to UK.
When they fly, can they kill people?
That's why they usually fly, to go and kill.
- They're harmless as they are now?
- As they are now they're harmless, yes.
That's why they are here,
just to show people, tourists.
Madam, this child is a witch.
From the time that this child
came into the village,
Lots of strange things have been happening,
things that never used to happen.
Strange things have been
happening in the village
since she got here.
We don't know where she came from.
She has no friends,
she has no relatives,
she wanders around like a lost person.
This is what I'm saying, madam.
She's a witch.
This child is a witch.
Now...
From the day it happened,
no-one draws water from that well,
not for drinking, not for bathing,
because we're scared,
because of this witch.
This child is a witch.
I'm telling you, this girl is a witch.
This is the water?
Yeah, yeah.
This is what I'm saying, madam.
She's a witch.
You're making noise?
What do you want?
I have something to say as well.
Come in.
I'm a witness.
You're a witness?
Yes, I am a witness.
This girl is a witch.
What did you witness?
I was ploughing my field,
Mm-hm.
Like I always do,
when I noticed a small shadow.
It came above me, on top of my head.
I didn't take any notice,
I thought it was just a cloud.
OK.
Then... I heard laughter.
I looked around...
and I saw this girl.
The child sitting here?
The same one... just standing there.
Mm-hm.
What was she doing?
She was just standing there.
She was just standing there?
Yes, she was just standing there.
And what did you do?
Then I looked again
and realised she had an axe.
Now, do you know what happened next?
She hit me with the axe!
She hit me across the arm.
Then my arm fell to the ground.
Then all my blood
splashed on the ground.
So what did you do
after your arm fell off?
Well...
Ever since I had that dream...
It was just a dream!
Now my wife is the one
that goes to the field...
alone.
Mm-hm.
Are you done?
Yes. Aren't you going
to write down my statement?
- Leave! We've heard you.
- OK. I'll go.
See all those people outside... and her?
They're saying you're a witch.
What's your name?
Answer!
She's a witch.
Yes, she's a witch.
Your back?
Let me...
Just turn a little bit.
It's fine.
Is that my phone?
Is that the phone ringing?
- Is that my phone?
- Yes.
I'm coming. I'm coming, baby.
Hello.
- Hold on for him.
- Who is it?
I don't know the number.
I don't know who it is.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Hello, good evening.
Good evening.
- Am I speaking to Mr. Banda?
- Yes.
How may I help you?
Sir, this is Officer Josephine.
- Yes.
- I'm calling you from precinct 11-78.
I was asked to call you.
We have a situation here.
What situation do you have?
I have a small girl here.
They're accusing her of witchcraft.
So?
Sir, so the same girl is not denying.
What?
She is refusing to confirm
or deny if she's a witch.
What do you mean?
Under interrogation, sir,
she is refusing to confirm or deny
if she's a witch.
So...
you mean she is not denying
that she's a witch?
She's not denying, sir.
Listen, has anyone tampered with her,
or even threatened her?
No, sir.
- Good.
- But, sir...
should we proceed to go
to the orphanage?
No, no...
Listen, don't be fooled.
- Don't be fooled by these witches, okay?
- Yes, sir.
The witches can be very cunning
and deceiving.
- You understand?
- Yes, sir.
Good.
You did well to call me, Officer.
You did very well to call me.
And so stay where you are.
I'm coming right there.
Let nobody touch her,
or even just talk to her.
Keep her there, I'll be coming, okay?
- Okay, sir.
- I'll be coming.
You did well.
What's your name again?
Officer Josephine.
- Yes, sir.
- I'll be on my way.
- OK.
- Good.
Get my gown, get my gown.
Get my gown.
New witch in town.
New witch in town!
I am a witch doctor, a real one.
I'm very well-known.
I've helped a lot of people.
I've helped lots of people.
Children have been healed.
So you know that I am a real witch doctor,
I'll take all my clothes off.
There, I've taken them off.
See, I don't have anything to hide.
See? I don't have anything. Nothing.
Now you see I'm a witch doctor.
This chicken,
if it dies inside the circle,
it means she's not a witch.
If it dies outside the circle,
it means she is a witch.
Go on. Dance.
The way you were doing it before.
Are you tired?
Are you tired?
Keep going.
Your Royal Highness,
as you may be aware,
Government recently purchased a new truck.
And not just an ordinary truck,
but an orange truck!
That's how much my Government
attaches importance to this community.
Recently, you have also received new ribbons.
Yes, these are new ribbons, long ribbons.
Now you are free to go kilometres
and kilometres.
Your Royal Highness, without further ado,
allow me to introduce to you
our new member of the community.
They are very happy indeed.
Why are you so surprised?
This is your new member.
Aren't you happy?
What's happening?
Hey, hey, hey!
Get her, get her, get her!
Elders, please, please.
Your Royal Highness.
Can you imagine?
Get her!
Bring her!
Get her here!
How can you run away?
Bring her here.
A little child like you,
causing us all this trouble...
You should be grateful.
What's wrong with you?
What's wrong with her?
Look at her, look at her, look at her!
Go, keep going!
Run. Run.
So, working together, witches,
civil servants...
and you are now becoming civil witches.
We are saying...
you should teach this girl
how you live as witches
in cooperation with the Government.
Now, I want you to sing that song
we always sing on these occasions,
so she feels welcome,
like we usually do.
Where's that woman that leads?
We're soldiers for the Government
and we're used to it
We're used to it and don't get tired
We're soldiers for the Government
and we're used to it
We're used to it and don't get tired...
Stand up, little girl.
I believe the ladies
have explained everything.
Now it's up to you,
whether to be a goat or a witch.
If you choose to be a goat,
cut the ribbon.
But, if you choose to be a witch,
keep your ribbon intact.
Then you'll join this witch camp.
- Mannaseh!
- Sir?
Bring the knife.
Here's the knife.
Go into that little house.
In the morning,
we'll know which you've chosen.
Go.
Make some noise, ladies.
Hello.
Is there a witch in there?
Yes, there's a witch in here.
Come out, you witch!
There is the witch.
Come out, come out, come out.
What I'm doing here is just
a little bit of scarring.
It'll heal quickly. Don't worry.
It's just like a tattoo I'm giving you.
Don't worry, it'll heal.
They're just tattoos.
They will heal.
Don't worry, you don't have to be scared.
Don't be scared.
They are just like little cuts.
I'll put some of this on
to make it heal quickly.
That Certain Female
I'm exhausted, I can't.
Mr. Tembo!
How can you wake me up
this early for work?
Mr. Tembo!
You're so mean, Mr. Tembo.
How can I go farming? I'm too tired.
- Mr. Tembo!
- This is too much.
You, little girl.
You're so lucky.
Mrs. Dettol only had
a short ribbon, like this.
She couldn't turn around.
She couldn't go anywhere.
You're really lucky,
you have a long ribbon.
You're free to go this way and that,
you can go here and there
with your long ribbon.
You're so lucky.
You should be eating.
This girl...
I've named her Shula.
Shula!
It's a nice name.
It's a very nice name.
Listen, it means to be uprooted.
This girl has been uprooted.
It's a very nice name.
Keep eating. Keep eating, child.
It's a really lucky name.
Mr. Tembo!
When I die, I will kill you.
When my spirit awakens,
I'll kill all your family.
I don't want Shula to work in the fields.
Hold this close to your ear.
Point it in the direction of the wind.
Do you understand?
Can you hear anything?
There are kids playing over there,
where the noise is coming from.
Shula, have you ever been to school?
Never been to school?
You know what?
Every time we go to work on the farms,
there's always a school nearby.
If you go there, there's a school.
Everywhere we work, there's a school nearby.
So I want you to listen to these schools.
Senorita!
Senorita!
Very good.
- Have we seen the whole number?
- Yes!
Now that you know the whole number
is this one, here.
Can somebody round off this whole number?
Which number are you using?
They're taking Shula away.
They can't just take her.
Why would they? She's too little.
Shula is just too little.
What's the problem here?
It's about Shula, how can you take her?
When I needed someone,
did they not refuse?
- They did.
- So?
We didn't refuse at all.
No, no, no, listen.
Do not be allergic to comfort.
Do you understand?
I have no time for you. Let's go.
Yes, Honourable.
We have both commercial and residential plots.
Which one do you want?
Both?
Yes, Honourable. Just hold.
Little girl, put it on.
Just apply.
Yes, Honourable.
We'll make arrangements.
I'll make the necessary arrangements...
Hold on, sir.
What are you still doing there?
Go and check if people
are gathered in the court.
You're seated there,
what are you doing there?
Get out of the bus and do something
useful with your life.
Yes, Honourable.
That funny chap, we transferred him...
He became funny so we transferred him...
Yes, Honourable.
Grandpa, come and stand here.
Grandpa, just come and stand here.
Old MacDonald Had A Farm
Grandpa, switch off that phone..
This is a court room, you don't do that.
If you have a phone, just switch it off.
Switch them off right now.
Switch them off.
Switch them off completely.
Have you switched it off, grandpa?
- What?
- Wait.
Switch it off.
Anyone else with a phone...
Shut down your phones.
Your phone is ringing as if you've got credit!
Start.
I am here in court
to find out who took my money.
Grandpa,
switch off your phone.
- I can't see because of the sun.
- Switch it off!
- Remove the battery.
- Take out the battery.
Let me help you.
You, switch it off.
Remove the battery.
Can I start now?
I'm here in court
because someone stole my dowry money.
To whoever stole it,
what goes around comes around.
Thank you.
Thank you, sit down.
What goes around...
- ...comes around.
- Good.
All the suspects, you know who you are?
All the suspects stand up.
Suspect number one, let's go.
Did you steal the money or not?
No, I didn't.
Did you steal the money or not?
No, I didn't.
Did you steal the money or not?
No, I didn't steal it.
Did you steal the money or not?
No, I didn't.
Hello, Grandma.
Hello.
It's me Shula.
What is it, Shula?
They've lined up all the suspects
but I don't know who it is.
Can you help me pick one?
Pick the dark one.
The one who looks scared.
The one who's looking up.
The one who looks down at the ground.
- But...
- He'll be the one.
But there are three dark ones.
The one who looks nervous.
He's the one.
One of you is the culprit.
We will now consult the spirits.
She will point out who the culprit is.
- Do we agree?
- We do.
Good.
Which one of these idiots did it?
It's the one wearing red.
The one in red?
Good.
- You wearing the...
- It's not me, Boss.
She's picked you.
Why are you denying it?
As God is my witness, sir, it's not me.
- Who did she point to?
- Him.
- Why are you refusing?
- It's not me.
She pointed to say you did it.
As God is my witness...
- What?
- As God is my witness.
God? Is God here?
- She picked you.
- I didn't, boss.
- No, no, no. Listen.
- I'm being falsely accused.
Take him to the bus.
Listen, everyone, you're all still suspects.
- Suspects.
- Until we've searched him.
Take him outside.
She picked you but you're arguing,
so all of you are still suspects.
Good. Suspects!
- Sus... what?
- Suspects!
OK.
- Morning, sir.
- Morning, carry on.
You. Watch over those criminals.
Stand just there.
We have surrounded the whole house.
Good, that's good.
How are you?
- Is this Nelson's place?
- Yes.
Get everyone out.
Police!
There.
- Sit over there.
- Hurry, we've got work to do.
- Are you Nelson's wife?
- Yes.
Sit over there.
Go over there.
Are they all coming out of this house?
Is this a house or a coach?
I said sit down over there.
Get her out as well.
Is everyone out?
Hey you, little witch,
you're saying I stole the money.
It wasn't me. You're lying.
When they find out it's not me,
we'll stone you or burn you alive.
You're telling lies, you and grandpa.
Once I'm cleared,
we'll burn you and stone you.
Just tell the truth.
This affects us all.
He's innocent, guys.
She's lying. He says he didn't do it.
He should just tell the truth.
Is this your bag?
Huh?
Weren't you denying it,
saying you didn't know anything?
You must be ashamed of yourself.
Just lock him up and take him to the police.
Get out of the way.
Thief!
Go!
Nelson you were busy refusing
when you knew very well
it's you who stole it.
You will hurt him!
He's a thief!
Hit him!
At Denim Emporium, we have
the outfit to suit your personality.
We've got the trendiest T-shirts, jeans
and footwear from leading brands.
So walk into Denim Emporium like this...
...and come out of Denim Emporium
like this.
- What?
- Let me get the basket.
OK, OK.
Please.
Shula.
How did you know that he was the thief?
Out of all of them,
how did you know it was him?
Huh?
You are a witch, right?
You really are a witch.
You are my little witch.
Right? My little witch.
And you know what?
We will leave those old ladies
working on the farms.
You and I, we'll work together.
Shula, my little witch.
My little witch.
You and me, we'll work together, right?
You are very good.
You're a nice witch.
See, the offerings are now coming.
Good, good, good.
Thank you.
She's saying hello.
Hi!
OK.
There you go.
Our visitor has arrived.
It's good she's come.
Welcome.
- Let's go.
- You are welcome.
It's good you brought her.
It's really good.
I'm happy that you've come.
I've been waiting for you.
I'll see you guys.
- Okay, darling. Later.
- Shula, I'll see you.
I will see you.
Ok bye.
- I'll see you, honey.
- Okay, babe.
I am so happy that you've come.
Now, listen.
I'm going to pour some gin here.
It's not disrespectful.
If any witch comes here,
I get scared that bad spirits might come in.
I don't want bad spirits
entering the house,
only good spirits, do you understand?
Don't think about it in a bad way.
I only want good spirits coming in.
Do you know what I want to show you?
This is a chandelier.
Say chandelier.
- Chandelier.
- Chandelier.
When you switch on the lights at night,
it's really something to see.
Just uncover it.
You have one as well?
Mm-hm.
You're shocked.
Aha.
Come and sit over here and I'll explain.
I used to be like you when I was a kid.
Like you, they used to
take me out all the time.
I used to be taken around in a truck.
They used to follow me everywhere.
They said I couldn't go anywhere,
they said I couldn't cut
the ribbon or do anything.
They said if I cut the ribbon,
I'd turn into a goat.
Now, I didn't turn into a goat.
And do you know why?
Uh-uh.
Respectability.
Do you know what that is?
Respect through marriage.
Do you know how I became this way?
Because I did everything I was told.
I did everything I was told.
If I was told do this, do that,
go here and go there.
I did it all without question.
I had respect.
So, if you do the same,
you'll be just like me,
maybe even better.
Do you know how to hook it?
Now turn around.
Turn and look.
Can you see?
Shula.
Do you want to call Grandma?
Eh?
No.
- It's that one.
- Which one?
This one in front.
- The one with the big nose?
- Mm-hm.
- This one?
- Mm.
She's picked you. Shula's picked you.
Shula's picked you, talk.
There's no water.
Mum, how are you?
And who's that?
- Mr. Phiri, a teacher, he gave me a lift.
- Whatever.
Go!
You're here again?
You stupid man!
You idiot, didn't I tell you...
don't come here!
You're the one who accused me of witchcraft!
You idiot!
You're brainless.
If you had any sense,
you'd feel sorry for me.
I'm suffering here because he called me a witch.
You're one of the reasons
why I'm suffering. You're stupid.
- He's the only man who loves me.
- Shut up!
What do you want me to do, leave him?
Look in the mirror, see how nice it looks.
Just pull the fringe down in front.
See?
It's nice. Honestly, you're gorgeous.
Madam, try the "Mandonna",
see how it looks.
This one has a natural curl in it.
Pull it down to hide those tattoos.
Hide those tattoos on your forehead.
Gosh, I look nice.
Honestly, I really do.
Madam, what did you ask for?
- The brown one?
- The brown one.
I couldn't find a brown one,
it's gone out of fashion.
That's why I brought you
the latest one. "Rahinna".
- You know the American musician?
- Yes
It's really fashionable.
Let's have a look.
That one's nice.
Mmmmm!
This is nice.
You are gorgeous.
Check in the mirror.
Mm-mm-mm!
- This is really nice.
- It really is.
Ladies!
Mama...
I see you've all got wigs on.
How are you paying for them?
Credit.
We'll use the offerings
Shula brings back from her job.
Ladies, how can you depend on Shula,
on a little girl like that?
You're depending on her
to get credit for your wigs?
Come on, let's not get jealous.
Let's get down to business.
Now, for payment...
Auntie, for that one, the "Minny Mikaj" one,
together with the "Sim Kardashan" one,
you can give me two bottles of gin.
For the...
I've already told you, for the "Beyancey"
I'll charge you two gins.
3, 4, 5,
6, 7, 8.
9, 10, 11,
12, 13, 14,
- 15, 16...
- You
What are you doing in there?
Are you a witch?
What are you doing in there?
What are...
I've caught you, I've found you today.
You're the witch that ate all my relatives.
Come outside!
I am coming in there!
You'll see what will happen to you
once I get in there!
You come outside!
Come outside!
Do you live there?
Come out!
Hey!
- Yes sir?
- What are you doing?
- There's a witch.
- My friend this is Government property.
Don't play around with Government property.
- There's a witch inside!
- What witch?
- Haven't you seen the witch sir?
- That too is Government property.
- I'll slap you.
- Let the witch come out.
- That is a witch!
- My friend...
- No.
- Don't be funny.
But sir, can't you see...
Don't play around with this.
Stay away from her she's Government property.
Add some more
This is time to celebrate,
now we've grown old, we have grey hair.
This is the age to eat,
this is the age of grey hair.
We're old, put some more for me.
Let's drink, let's drink.
Let me first drink this...
Troubled thoughts.
These troubled thoughts have conquered us.
You get the next bottle.
When they come today I'll kick you.
When we arrive, make sure you
do everything I showed you at home.
You understand?
Make sure you do exactly as
we did before, understand?
Don't be scared or anything like that.
Everything I taught you before.
You did really well. You understand?
OK.
Exactly!
Did I put the gin in the car?
Maybe I left it on the table?
Or where did I leave it?
Check to see if I put the gin in my handbag?
Look carefully.
No, it's not here.
There's nothing?
My God.
What am I going to do?
Witch!
There's a witch!
Everyone, come and see the witch!
There it is.
Come and see.
What?
What's your problem?
Leave me alone.
What is it?
What is your problem?
No.
I've got respectability, I'm a married woman.
What is your problem?
Have you ever seen a witch looking like this?
See! I knew it!
There, you see that?
We know them.
She's the one.
Do you know that I'm married?
Go away.
Get out of the way.
You think we don't know what that is?
Kill it!
Leave me alone.
Shula.
Shula.
Look at me, cheer up.
You're fine right?
Shula.
Start doing what we practised at home.
Rain! It will rain.
It will rain. It will rain.
It will rain. It will rain.
The spirits have agreed.
The spirits...
The spirits have agreed that the rain will come!
My God.
It will rain!
Hey! Hey!
It will rain!
The spirits have agreed.
It will rain.
Is that it?
Yes, it will rain.
Everything's fine.
Exactly when is it going to rain?
It will rain, I can assure you it will rain.
I mean, it was a simple instruction.
Teach the girl a, b, c, cl.
And we agreed.
Then you go in there.
You deliberately bring her there and
she doesn't do anything.
In front of that white man.
You know the man has paid us.
Why did you do that?
You want me to throw you back in there?
- No.
- Go back to where you belong.
Let's go home, you know what I'll do to you.
- Let's go home.
- Next time I'll do it right.
- Get out!
- I promise!
There are so many witches that would want...
to live your life.
Appreciate everything I have done for you.
- Baby I'm sorry.
- No, you're not sorry.
What's wrong with you?
There's nothing wrong.
- You want me to throw you back in there.
- No.
Go back to where you belong.
Brisky Japan, I just came from Lusaka.
My friend take it easy this is my last supper.
If you give trouble I will write you
using a marker.
The rap is colour purple,
listen to this girl.
Have you ever heard a girl who raps like this.
Mic check one, two, three to the four.
My flow is a race, on your marks let's go.
Alrighty, that there is hip-hop artist,
Brisky, marvelous as always, ever so flawless.
But now believe it or not
we do have in our studios,
a witch.
Her name is Shula the witch.
She's just joined us along with her state
guardian, Mr. Banda.
Welcome to Smooth Talk.
Thank you so much, we are so grateful you could
have us on your program.
Now, Mr. Banda a child witch.
That's unusual isn't it?
Yeah true, except we have this notion that...
a witch should be an old stinky woman
But in this case, what we have is a...
we have a child.
Now let's talk about people
wanting to use her service.
Some people might be a bit skeptical,
because they've got
Young children, they've got little pets.
Not to worry about that, as you can see
she's always on her ribbon.
We've got a ribbon for her.
So it's controlled movements.
I hear you've got a big announcement
to make on this program.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
I wanted to inform the nation
that we have...
- You brought some...
- A newline of eggs.
These are the Shula eggs.
Shula eggs?
These will just bring back
the life in your breakfast.
We do have phone calls coming through
and I'm being told...
our lights are really lighting up now.
People want to find out
what's happening. Hello, caller.
Good morning, Mr. Banda.
Good morning, sir.
I want to ask you, why is Shula...
Are you not taking to school?
Can you ask him a question?
Before we arrest you, Mr. Banda.
Is Shula in school?
Yeah, yeah.
Plans are under way.
We have plans.
The way I see Mr. Banda
is only interested in eggs for Shula.
Which means you are benefitting.
You're using her.
You are using her.
To make money.
Why are you promoting eggs?
Can you answer...
If people are going to be allowed to speak...
Freedom of speech should not be...
misused.
That's a total misuse of our freedom of speech.
To insinuate that I am doing this
as a business venture...
is totally unacceptable.
It's unfortunate that people think of it that way.
All I'm trying to do, as a Government
official, is to help this young Shula.
This is a gift that the young girl has.
- Mm-hm.
- OK?
This is a gift she has.
People have different gifts.
The government's helping.
What's wrong with us helping her?
Let's talk to Shula herself.
Shula...
You obviously must be surprised
with what's happening in your life.
How are you settling in to your new life?
He is asking...
How do you feel being a witch?
Well, I guess, like you're saying...
this can be daunting,
the cameras and all that.
Very.
This is a strange environment to her.
She's seeing these things for the first time.
So that's why you are seeing her a bit...
Otherwise she's quite a...
jovial, I mean she's quite a happy kid.
- Mm-hm.
- Yeah.
Unfortunately our young girl there Shula,
is certainly not comfortable.
I must inform also our viewers
that we're not dealing with an ordinary person.
She's a witch.
And it's very difficult for you to tell
whether a witch is happy or sad.
We don't go around scouting for witches.
They are brought to us.
- OK.
- Yes.
It's the societies they live in,
who'll say this one is a witch...
and they bring them to us.
OK.
But you said at the beginning
that, you know, she's young.
I think that's where a lot of interest
is from the nation,
that she's very young.
And yet, we're claiming,
I'll use that term, that she's a witch.
What if she's actually just but a child?
- How are you?
- Fine.
- What's your name?
- I'm Shula.
- Hello, how are you?
- Fine.
- Did you say your name is Shula?
- Yeah, her name is Shula.
- Shula...
- Yes.
What a lovely name.
- She looks sad. Is she okay there?
- I don't know.
Why are you upset?
Has she been here long?
Who put you in here?
They're not here.
Have you been here long?
Yesterday.
She says she's been here for some time.
She doesn't know who brought her in here.
Does she know why she's here?
Do you know why you're here?
No.
She says she doesn't know
why she's inside here.
I know what would cheer her up.
Why don't we take a picture together?
- Yeah, maybe.
- Would you like that? Shall we take a picture?
Want to take a picture with her?
Would you like to take a picture with me?
- You can smile, smile for the camera.
- Shula, look here.
I'll send it to you.
- Look.
- Smile.
Look at the camera!
Look!
Shula! Shula!
Open.
Shula! Shula! Open!
Shula! Open!
No.
Hey!
No.
Hey!
Hey you, where are the keys for this?
How do you forget keys in there?
Now look at what's happened,
she's locked us out.
How do you leave keys in there?
Come and try to open...
Try to open with something here.
This is open.
Come on, lift me up.
Easy, easy, easy.
Mind my suit!
Put me down, put me down!
So one of you go in.
Hah!
Shula, she's just watching.
Hey!
Open!
Shula!
Why didn't you open the door?
Why didn't you open the door?
Sit up! Why didn't you open the door?
I'm asking you why you didn't open the door.
Huh?
I'll toss you back to where you belong.
I look after you and now you're misbehaving...
You witch!
Sit properly!
Sit properly!
Sit properly!
Don't look at me!
Don't look at me!
Don't look at me, look somewhere else!
Do you see that big tree?
That's where I want you to go.
Understand? Start moving.
Welcome, welcome
We are happy to see you
What is your name?
What is your name?
Tell us now
Tell us now
What is your name?
- What is your name?
- I'm Shula.
OK.
Class, what did she say?
- Shula!
- OK.
Class,
last time when I gave you a test,
I came to discover that most of you
still have a problem
on punctuation marks.
I told you, a full stop is just like
when you are moving,
then you end, you stop.
Then you put that full stop
to show that you have stopped.
So you are showing someone
that the sentence has ended.
Welcome, servant of the Government.
Thank you.
How is your father?
He's fine.
Is that true?
Yes, ma'am.
When was the last time you saw him?
About a week ago,
I spoke to him on the phone.
- What about your mother?
- She's fine, too.
I hope your wife is fine too.
Yes, ma'am.
I've heard rumours
that we have a witch
who has the power to bring rain.
Yes, ma'am.
People in this kingdom are struggling.
They're complaining
because they started planting,
but their crops are dying in the field.
Where is the rain?
I heard that it's that little girl
you sent to school.
According to the laws
of the Government...
- The Government?
- Yes.
Tell me, where was the Government
when I brought the witches here?
And where was the Government
when I was feeding them?
Where was the Government?
Are these the plans of the Government,
that they should come here,
saying, "We'll buy you buses,
we'll buy you uniforms,"
so they can get 50%?
This is my kingdom.
The Government has no right at all.
The Government requires that all children...
We do not send witches to school.
Go back and tell the Government
that I'm angry.
And don't take anything out
or add anything!
Unedited version!
Yes, ma'am.
Thank you.
Thank you, ma'am.
He's becoming stupid.
Chocolate biscuit.
Chocolate biscuit.
Chocolate biscuit.
Chocolate biscuit.
Chocolate biscuit.
- Huh?
- Chocolate biscuit.
Huh?
If you are a witch,
bring us rain.
We want rain here.
Hurry UP-
Sorry.
Ahh.
Shula!
Why are you upset child?
Tell us.
If you are upset you have to say so.
Shula, what's upset you?
Why are you being so stubborn?
So what is bothering you Shula?
I was just thinking
I should have chosen to be a goat.
A goat is better.
It can move about freely and eat when it wants.
I should have chosen to become one.
No Shula stop it.
That's what you've been thinking
in that head of yours?
You can't become a goat!
They will kill you and eat you for supper.
Just touched down in London town
Bet they give me a pound
Tell them put the money
in my hand right now
Tell the promoter we need more seats
We just sold out all the floor seats
Take me on a trip, I'd like to go someday
Take me to New York, I'd love to see LA
I really want to come kick it with you
You'll be my American boy
He said, "Hey, sister
It's really, really nice to meet you"
I just met this five foot seven guy
who's just my type
I like the way he's speaking,
his confidence is peaking...
Come all
Let's sing for Shula
Come all
Let's sing for her
Come people
Let's sing for Shula
Come all
Let's sing for her
Come everyone, come all
Let's sing for Shula
This is the last celebration
Come everyone, come all
Let's sing for Shula
This is the last celebration
There's a celebration for birth
There's a celebration for marriage
But this is her last celebration
There's a celebration for birth
There's a celebration for marriage
But this is her last celebration
Come everyone, come all
Let's sing for Shula
This is the last celebration
Come everyone, come all
Let's sing for Shula
This is the last celebration...
Ticket is ten Kwacha.
It's a lot of money.
How are you?
Thank you.
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
Hello sir.
Fine, thank you.
I'm so excited.
Thank you.
I just wanted to really find out:
what are those ribbons for, behind them?
These are used to prevent
these witches from flying.
They cannot fly anymore.
Yeah, can't fly now.
Ok so in broad daylight, they can fly?
Yeah, they do fly even during the day
but as they are now they can't.
- How far will they be able?
- Anywhere. They can even go to UK.
- Oh really? That far?
- Yes.
They can fly to UK.
When they fly, can they kill people?
That's why they usually fly, to go and kill.
- They're harmless as they are now?
- As they are now they're harmless, yes.
That's why they are here,
just to show people, tourists.
Madam, this child is a witch.
From the time that this child
came into the village,
Lots of strange things have been happening,
things that never used to happen.
Strange things have been
happening in the village
since she got here.
We don't know where she came from.
She has no friends,
she has no relatives,
she wanders around like a lost person.
This is what I'm saying, madam.
She's a witch.
This child is a witch.
Now...
From the day it happened,
no-one draws water from that well,
not for drinking, not for bathing,
because we're scared,
because of this witch.
This child is a witch.
I'm telling you, this girl is a witch.
This is the water?
Yeah, yeah.
This is what I'm saying, madam.
She's a witch.
You're making noise?
What do you want?
I have something to say as well.
Come in.
I'm a witness.
You're a witness?
Yes, I am a witness.
This girl is a witch.
What did you witness?
I was ploughing my field,
Mm-hm.
Like I always do,
when I noticed a small shadow.
It came above me, on top of my head.
I didn't take any notice,
I thought it was just a cloud.
OK.
Then... I heard laughter.
I looked around...
and I saw this girl.
The child sitting here?
The same one... just standing there.
Mm-hm.
What was she doing?
She was just standing there.
She was just standing there?
Yes, she was just standing there.
And what did you do?
Then I looked again
and realised she had an axe.
Now, do you know what happened next?
She hit me with the axe!
She hit me across the arm.
Then my arm fell to the ground.
Then all my blood
splashed on the ground.
So what did you do
after your arm fell off?
Well...
Ever since I had that dream...
It was just a dream!
Now my wife is the one
that goes to the field...
alone.
Mm-hm.
Are you done?
Yes. Aren't you going
to write down my statement?
- Leave! We've heard you.
- OK. I'll go.
See all those people outside... and her?
They're saying you're a witch.
What's your name?
Answer!
She's a witch.
Yes, she's a witch.
Your back?
Let me...
Just turn a little bit.
It's fine.
Is that my phone?
Is that the phone ringing?
- Is that my phone?
- Yes.
I'm coming. I'm coming, baby.
Hello.
- Hold on for him.
- Who is it?
I don't know the number.
I don't know who it is.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Hello, good evening.
Good evening.
- Am I speaking to Mr. Banda?
- Yes.
How may I help you?
Sir, this is Officer Josephine.
- Yes.
- I'm calling you from precinct 11-78.
I was asked to call you.
We have a situation here.
What situation do you have?
I have a small girl here.
They're accusing her of witchcraft.
So?
Sir, so the same girl is not denying.
What?
She is refusing to confirm
or deny if she's a witch.
What do you mean?
Under interrogation, sir,
she is refusing to confirm or deny
if she's a witch.
So...
you mean she is not denying
that she's a witch?
She's not denying, sir.
Listen, has anyone tampered with her,
or even threatened her?
No, sir.
- Good.
- But, sir...
should we proceed to go
to the orphanage?
No, no...
Listen, don't be fooled.
- Don't be fooled by these witches, okay?
- Yes, sir.
The witches can be very cunning
and deceiving.
- You understand?
- Yes, sir.
Good.
You did well to call me, Officer.
You did very well to call me.
And so stay where you are.
I'm coming right there.
Let nobody touch her,
or even just talk to her.
Keep her there, I'll be coming, okay?
- Okay, sir.
- I'll be coming.
You did well.
What's your name again?
Officer Josephine.
- Yes, sir.
- I'll be on my way.
- OK.
- Good.
Get my gown, get my gown.
Get my gown.
New witch in town.
New witch in town!
I am a witch doctor, a real one.
I'm very well-known.
I've helped a lot of people.
I've helped lots of people.
Children have been healed.
So you know that I am a real witch doctor,
I'll take all my clothes off.
There, I've taken them off.
See, I don't have anything to hide.
See? I don't have anything. Nothing.
Now you see I'm a witch doctor.
This chicken,
if it dies inside the circle,
it means she's not a witch.
If it dies outside the circle,
it means she is a witch.
Go on. Dance.
The way you were doing it before.
Are you tired?
Are you tired?
Keep going.
Your Royal Highness,
as you may be aware,
Government recently purchased a new truck.
And not just an ordinary truck,
but an orange truck!
That's how much my Government
attaches importance to this community.
Recently, you have also received new ribbons.
Yes, these are new ribbons, long ribbons.
Now you are free to go kilometres
and kilometres.
Your Royal Highness, without further ado,
allow me to introduce to you
our new member of the community.
They are very happy indeed.
Why are you so surprised?
This is your new member.
Aren't you happy?
What's happening?
Hey, hey, hey!
Get her, get her, get her!
Elders, please, please.
Your Royal Highness.
Can you imagine?
Get her!
Bring her!
Get her here!
How can you run away?
Bring her here.
A little child like you,
causing us all this trouble...
You should be grateful.
What's wrong with you?
What's wrong with her?
Look at her, look at her, look at her!
Go, keep going!
Run. Run.
So, working together, witches,
civil servants...
and you are now becoming civil witches.
We are saying...
you should teach this girl
how you live as witches
in cooperation with the Government.
Now, I want you to sing that song
we always sing on these occasions,
so she feels welcome,
like we usually do.
Where's that woman that leads?
We're soldiers for the Government
and we're used to it
We're used to it and don't get tired
We're soldiers for the Government
and we're used to it
We're used to it and don't get tired...
Stand up, little girl.
I believe the ladies
have explained everything.
Now it's up to you,
whether to be a goat or a witch.
If you choose to be a goat,
cut the ribbon.
But, if you choose to be a witch,
keep your ribbon intact.
Then you'll join this witch camp.
- Mannaseh!
- Sir?
Bring the knife.
Here's the knife.
Go into that little house.
In the morning,
we'll know which you've chosen.
Go.
Make some noise, ladies.
Hello.
Is there a witch in there?
Yes, there's a witch in here.
Come out, you witch!
There is the witch.
Come out, come out, come out.
What I'm doing here is just
a little bit of scarring.
It'll heal quickly. Don't worry.
It's just like a tattoo I'm giving you.
Don't worry, it'll heal.
They're just tattoos.
They will heal.
Don't worry, you don't have to be scared.
Don't be scared.
They are just like little cuts.
I'll put some of this on
to make it heal quickly.
That Certain Female
I'm exhausted, I can't.
Mr. Tembo!
How can you wake me up
this early for work?
Mr. Tembo!
You're so mean, Mr. Tembo.
How can I go farming? I'm too tired.
- Mr. Tembo!
- This is too much.
You, little girl.
You're so lucky.
Mrs. Dettol only had
a short ribbon, like this.
She couldn't turn around.
She couldn't go anywhere.
You're really lucky,
you have a long ribbon.
You're free to go this way and that,
you can go here and there
with your long ribbon.
You're so lucky.
You should be eating.
This girl...
I've named her Shula.
Shula!
It's a nice name.
It's a very nice name.
Listen, it means to be uprooted.
This girl has been uprooted.
It's a very nice name.
Keep eating. Keep eating, child.
It's a really lucky name.
Mr. Tembo!
When I die, I will kill you.
When my spirit awakens,
I'll kill all your family.
I don't want Shula to work in the fields.
Hold this close to your ear.
Point it in the direction of the wind.
Do you understand?
Can you hear anything?
There are kids playing over there,
where the noise is coming from.
Shula, have you ever been to school?
Never been to school?
You know what?
Every time we go to work on the farms,
there's always a school nearby.
If you go there, there's a school.
Everywhere we work, there's a school nearby.
So I want you to listen to these schools.
Senorita!
Senorita!
Very good.
- Have we seen the whole number?
- Yes!
Now that you know the whole number
is this one, here.
Can somebody round off this whole number?
Which number are you using?
They're taking Shula away.
They can't just take her.
Why would they? She's too little.
Shula is just too little.
What's the problem here?
It's about Shula, how can you take her?
When I needed someone,
did they not refuse?
- They did.
- So?
We didn't refuse at all.
No, no, no, listen.
Do not be allergic to comfort.
Do you understand?
I have no time for you. Let's go.
Yes, Honourable.
We have both commercial and residential plots.
Which one do you want?
Both?
Yes, Honourable. Just hold.
Little girl, put it on.
Just apply.
Yes, Honourable.
We'll make arrangements.
I'll make the necessary arrangements...
Hold on, sir.
What are you still doing there?
Go and check if people
are gathered in the court.
You're seated there,
what are you doing there?
Get out of the bus and do something
useful with your life.
Yes, Honourable.
That funny chap, we transferred him...
He became funny so we transferred him...
Yes, Honourable.
Grandpa, come and stand here.
Grandpa, just come and stand here.
Old MacDonald Had A Farm
Grandpa, switch off that phone..
This is a court room, you don't do that.
If you have a phone, just switch it off.
Switch them off right now.
Switch them off.
Switch them off completely.
Have you switched it off, grandpa?
- What?
- Wait.
Switch it off.
Anyone else with a phone...
Shut down your phones.
Your phone is ringing as if you've got credit!
Start.
I am here in court
to find out who took my money.
Grandpa,
switch off your phone.
- I can't see because of the sun.
- Switch it off!
- Remove the battery.
- Take out the battery.
Let me help you.
You, switch it off.
Remove the battery.
Can I start now?
I'm here in court
because someone stole my dowry money.
To whoever stole it,
what goes around comes around.
Thank you.
Thank you, sit down.
What goes around...
- ...comes around.
- Good.
All the suspects, you know who you are?
All the suspects stand up.
Suspect number one, let's go.
Did you steal the money or not?
No, I didn't.
Did you steal the money or not?
No, I didn't.
Did you steal the money or not?
No, I didn't steal it.
Did you steal the money or not?
No, I didn't.
Hello, Grandma.
Hello.
It's me Shula.
What is it, Shula?
They've lined up all the suspects
but I don't know who it is.
Can you help me pick one?
Pick the dark one.
The one who looks scared.
The one who's looking up.
The one who looks down at the ground.
- But...
- He'll be the one.
But there are three dark ones.
The one who looks nervous.
He's the one.
One of you is the culprit.
We will now consult the spirits.
She will point out who the culprit is.
- Do we agree?
- We do.
Good.
Which one of these idiots did it?
It's the one wearing red.
The one in red?
Good.
- You wearing the...
- It's not me, Boss.
She's picked you.
Why are you denying it?
As God is my witness, sir, it's not me.
- Who did she point to?
- Him.
- Why are you refusing?
- It's not me.
She pointed to say you did it.
As God is my witness...
- What?
- As God is my witness.
God? Is God here?
- She picked you.
- I didn't, boss.
- No, no, no. Listen.
- I'm being falsely accused.
Take him to the bus.
Listen, everyone, you're all still suspects.
- Suspects.
- Until we've searched him.
Take him outside.
She picked you but you're arguing,
so all of you are still suspects.
Good. Suspects!
- Sus... what?
- Suspects!
OK.
- Morning, sir.
- Morning, carry on.
You. Watch over those criminals.
Stand just there.
We have surrounded the whole house.
Good, that's good.
How are you?
- Is this Nelson's place?
- Yes.
Get everyone out.
Police!
There.
- Sit over there.
- Hurry, we've got work to do.
- Are you Nelson's wife?
- Yes.
Sit over there.
Go over there.
Are they all coming out of this house?
Is this a house or a coach?
I said sit down over there.
Get her out as well.
Is everyone out?
Hey you, little witch,
you're saying I stole the money.
It wasn't me. You're lying.
When they find out it's not me,
we'll stone you or burn you alive.
You're telling lies, you and grandpa.
Once I'm cleared,
we'll burn you and stone you.
Just tell the truth.
This affects us all.
He's innocent, guys.
She's lying. He says he didn't do it.
He should just tell the truth.
Is this your bag?
Huh?
Weren't you denying it,
saying you didn't know anything?
You must be ashamed of yourself.
Just lock him up and take him to the police.
Get out of the way.
Thief!
Go!
Nelson you were busy refusing
when you knew very well
it's you who stole it.
You will hurt him!
He's a thief!
Hit him!
At Denim Emporium, we have
the outfit to suit your personality.
We've got the trendiest T-shirts, jeans
and footwear from leading brands.
So walk into Denim Emporium like this...
...and come out of Denim Emporium
like this.
- What?
- Let me get the basket.
OK, OK.
Please.
Shula.
How did you know that he was the thief?
Out of all of them,
how did you know it was him?
Huh?
You are a witch, right?
You really are a witch.
You are my little witch.
Right? My little witch.
And you know what?
We will leave those old ladies
working on the farms.
You and I, we'll work together.
Shula, my little witch.
My little witch.
You and me, we'll work together, right?
You are very good.
You're a nice witch.
See, the offerings are now coming.
Good, good, good.
Thank you.
She's saying hello.
Hi!
OK.
There you go.
Our visitor has arrived.
It's good she's come.
Welcome.
- Let's go.
- You are welcome.
It's good you brought her.
It's really good.
I'm happy that you've come.
I've been waiting for you.
I'll see you guys.
- Okay, darling. Later.
- Shula, I'll see you.
I will see you.
Ok bye.
- I'll see you, honey.
- Okay, babe.
I am so happy that you've come.
Now, listen.
I'm going to pour some gin here.
It's not disrespectful.
If any witch comes here,
I get scared that bad spirits might come in.
I don't want bad spirits
entering the house,
only good spirits, do you understand?
Don't think about it in a bad way.
I only want good spirits coming in.
Do you know what I want to show you?
This is a chandelier.
Say chandelier.
- Chandelier.
- Chandelier.
When you switch on the lights at night,
it's really something to see.
Just uncover it.
You have one as well?
Mm-hm.
You're shocked.
Aha.
Come and sit over here and I'll explain.
I used to be like you when I was a kid.
Like you, they used to
take me out all the time.
I used to be taken around in a truck.
They used to follow me everywhere.
They said I couldn't go anywhere,
they said I couldn't cut
the ribbon or do anything.
They said if I cut the ribbon,
I'd turn into a goat.
Now, I didn't turn into a goat.
And do you know why?
Uh-uh.
Respectability.
Do you know what that is?
Respect through marriage.
Do you know how I became this way?
Because I did everything I was told.
I did everything I was told.
If I was told do this, do that,
go here and go there.
I did it all without question.
I had respect.
So, if you do the same,
you'll be just like me,
maybe even better.
Do you know how to hook it?
Now turn around.
Turn and look.
Can you see?
Shula.
Do you want to call Grandma?
Eh?
No.
- It's that one.
- Which one?
This one in front.
- The one with the big nose?
- Mm-hm.
- This one?
- Mm.
She's picked you. Shula's picked you.
Shula's picked you, talk.
There's no water.
Mum, how are you?
And who's that?
- Mr. Phiri, a teacher, he gave me a lift.
- Whatever.
Go!
You're here again?
You stupid man!
You idiot, didn't I tell you...
don't come here!
You're the one who accused me of witchcraft!
You idiot!
You're brainless.
If you had any sense,
you'd feel sorry for me.
I'm suffering here because he called me a witch.
You're one of the reasons
why I'm suffering. You're stupid.
- He's the only man who loves me.
- Shut up!
What do you want me to do, leave him?
Look in the mirror, see how nice it looks.
Just pull the fringe down in front.
See?
It's nice. Honestly, you're gorgeous.
Madam, try the "Mandonna",
see how it looks.
This one has a natural curl in it.
Pull it down to hide those tattoos.
Hide those tattoos on your forehead.
Gosh, I look nice.
Honestly, I really do.
Madam, what did you ask for?
- The brown one?
- The brown one.
I couldn't find a brown one,
it's gone out of fashion.
That's why I brought you
the latest one. "Rahinna".
- You know the American musician?
- Yes
It's really fashionable.
Let's have a look.
That one's nice.
Mmmmm!
This is nice.
You are gorgeous.
Check in the mirror.
Mm-mm-mm!
- This is really nice.
- It really is.
Ladies!
Mama...
I see you've all got wigs on.
How are you paying for them?
Credit.
We'll use the offerings
Shula brings back from her job.
Ladies, how can you depend on Shula,
on a little girl like that?
You're depending on her
to get credit for your wigs?
Come on, let's not get jealous.
Let's get down to business.
Now, for payment...
Auntie, for that one, the "Minny Mikaj" one,
together with the "Sim Kardashan" one,
you can give me two bottles of gin.
For the...
I've already told you, for the "Beyancey"
I'll charge you two gins.
3, 4, 5,
6, 7, 8.
9, 10, 11,
12, 13, 14,
- 15, 16...
- You
What are you doing in there?
Are you a witch?
What are you doing in there?
What are...
I've caught you, I've found you today.
You're the witch that ate all my relatives.
Come outside!
I am coming in there!
You'll see what will happen to you
once I get in there!
You come outside!
Come outside!
Do you live there?
Come out!
Hey!
- Yes sir?
- What are you doing?
- There's a witch.
- My friend this is Government property.
Don't play around with Government property.
- There's a witch inside!
- What witch?
- Haven't you seen the witch sir?
- That too is Government property.
- I'll slap you.
- Let the witch come out.
- That is a witch!
- My friend...
- No.
- Don't be funny.
But sir, can't you see...
Don't play around with this.
Stay away from her she's Government property.
Add some more
This is time to celebrate,
now we've grown old, we have grey hair.
This is the age to eat,
this is the age of grey hair.
We're old, put some more for me.
Let's drink, let's drink.
Let me first drink this...
Troubled thoughts.
These troubled thoughts have conquered us.
You get the next bottle.
When they come today I'll kick you.
When we arrive, make sure you
do everything I showed you at home.
You understand?
Make sure you do exactly as
we did before, understand?
Don't be scared or anything like that.
Everything I taught you before.
You did really well. You understand?
OK.
Exactly!
Did I put the gin in the car?
Maybe I left it on the table?
Or where did I leave it?
Check to see if I put the gin in my handbag?
Look carefully.
No, it's not here.
There's nothing?
My God.
What am I going to do?
Witch!
There's a witch!
Everyone, come and see the witch!
There it is.
Come and see.
What?
What's your problem?
Leave me alone.
What is it?
What is your problem?
No.
I've got respectability, I'm a married woman.
What is your problem?
Have you ever seen a witch looking like this?
See! I knew it!
There, you see that?
We know them.
She's the one.
Do you know that I'm married?
Go away.
Get out of the way.
You think we don't know what that is?
Kill it!
Leave me alone.
Shula.
Shula.
Look at me, cheer up.
You're fine right?
Shula.
Start doing what we practised at home.
Rain! It will rain.
It will rain. It will rain.
It will rain. It will rain.
The spirits have agreed.
The spirits...
The spirits have agreed that the rain will come!
My God.
It will rain!
Hey! Hey!
It will rain!
The spirits have agreed.
It will rain.
Is that it?
Yes, it will rain.
Everything's fine.
Exactly when is it going to rain?
It will rain, I can assure you it will rain.
I mean, it was a simple instruction.
Teach the girl a, b, c, cl.
And we agreed.
Then you go in there.
You deliberately bring her there and
she doesn't do anything.
In front of that white man.
You know the man has paid us.
Why did you do that?
You want me to throw you back in there?
- No.
- Go back to where you belong.
Let's go home, you know what I'll do to you.
- Let's go home.
- Next time I'll do it right.
- Get out!
- I promise!
There are so many witches that would want...
to live your life.
Appreciate everything I have done for you.
- Baby I'm sorry.
- No, you're not sorry.
What's wrong with you?
There's nothing wrong.
- You want me to throw you back in there.
- No.
Go back to where you belong.
Brisky Japan, I just came from Lusaka.
My friend take it easy this is my last supper.
If you give trouble I will write you
using a marker.
The rap is colour purple,
listen to this girl.
Have you ever heard a girl who raps like this.
Mic check one, two, three to the four.
My flow is a race, on your marks let's go.
Alrighty, that there is hip-hop artist,
Brisky, marvelous as always, ever so flawless.
But now believe it or not
we do have in our studios,
a witch.
Her name is Shula the witch.
She's just joined us along with her state
guardian, Mr. Banda.
Welcome to Smooth Talk.
Thank you so much, we are so grateful you could
have us on your program.
Now, Mr. Banda a child witch.
That's unusual isn't it?
Yeah true, except we have this notion that...
a witch should be an old stinky woman
But in this case, what we have is a...
we have a child.
Now let's talk about people
wanting to use her service.
Some people might be a bit skeptical,
because they've got
Young children, they've got little pets.
Not to worry about that, as you can see
she's always on her ribbon.
We've got a ribbon for her.
So it's controlled movements.
I hear you've got a big announcement
to make on this program.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
I wanted to inform the nation
that we have...
- You brought some...
- A newline of eggs.
These are the Shula eggs.
Shula eggs?
These will just bring back
the life in your breakfast.
We do have phone calls coming through
and I'm being told...
our lights are really lighting up now.
People want to find out
what's happening. Hello, caller.
Good morning, Mr. Banda.
Good morning, sir.
I want to ask you, why is Shula...
Are you not taking to school?
Can you ask him a question?
Before we arrest you, Mr. Banda.
Is Shula in school?
Yeah, yeah.
Plans are under way.
We have plans.
The way I see Mr. Banda
is only interested in eggs for Shula.
Which means you are benefitting.
You're using her.
You are using her.
To make money.
Why are you promoting eggs?
Can you answer...
If people are going to be allowed to speak...
Freedom of speech should not be...
misused.
That's a total misuse of our freedom of speech.
To insinuate that I am doing this
as a business venture...
is totally unacceptable.
It's unfortunate that people think of it that way.
All I'm trying to do, as a Government
official, is to help this young Shula.
This is a gift that the young girl has.
- Mm-hm.
- OK?
This is a gift she has.
People have different gifts.
The government's helping.
What's wrong with us helping her?
Let's talk to Shula herself.
Shula...
You obviously must be surprised
with what's happening in your life.
How are you settling in to your new life?
He is asking...
How do you feel being a witch?
Well, I guess, like you're saying...
this can be daunting,
the cameras and all that.
Very.
This is a strange environment to her.
She's seeing these things for the first time.
So that's why you are seeing her a bit...
Otherwise she's quite a...
jovial, I mean she's quite a happy kid.
- Mm-hm.
- Yeah.
Unfortunately our young girl there Shula,
is certainly not comfortable.
I must inform also our viewers
that we're not dealing with an ordinary person.
She's a witch.
And it's very difficult for you to tell
whether a witch is happy or sad.
We don't go around scouting for witches.
They are brought to us.
- OK.
- Yes.
It's the societies they live in,
who'll say this one is a witch...
and they bring them to us.
OK.
But you said at the beginning
that, you know, she's young.
I think that's where a lot of interest
is from the nation,
that she's very young.
And yet, we're claiming,
I'll use that term, that she's a witch.
What if she's actually just but a child?
- How are you?
- Fine.
- What's your name?
- I'm Shula.
- Hello, how are you?
- Fine.
- Did you say your name is Shula?
- Yeah, her name is Shula.
- Shula...
- Yes.
What a lovely name.
- She looks sad. Is she okay there?
- I don't know.
Why are you upset?
Has she been here long?
Who put you in here?
They're not here.
Have you been here long?
Yesterday.
She says she's been here for some time.
She doesn't know who brought her in here.
Does she know why she's here?
Do you know why you're here?
No.
She says she doesn't know
why she's inside here.
I know what would cheer her up.
Why don't we take a picture together?
- Yeah, maybe.
- Would you like that? Shall we take a picture?
Want to take a picture with her?
Would you like to take a picture with me?
- You can smile, smile for the camera.
- Shula, look here.
I'll send it to you.
- Look.
- Smile.
Look at the camera!
Look!
Shula! Shula!
Open.
Shula! Shula! Open!
Shula! Open!
No.
Hey!
No.
Hey!
Hey you, where are the keys for this?
How do you forget keys in there?
Now look at what's happened,
she's locked us out.
How do you leave keys in there?
Come and try to open...
Try to open with something here.
This is open.
Come on, lift me up.
Easy, easy, easy.
Mind my suit!
Put me down, put me down!
So one of you go in.
Hah!
Shula, she's just watching.
Hey!
Open!
Shula!
Why didn't you open the door?
Why didn't you open the door?
Sit up! Why didn't you open the door?
I'm asking you why you didn't open the door.
Huh?
I'll toss you back to where you belong.
I look after you and now you're misbehaving...
You witch!
Sit properly!
Sit properly!
Sit properly!
Don't look at me!
Don't look at me!
Don't look at me, look somewhere else!
Do you see that big tree?
That's where I want you to go.
Understand? Start moving.
Welcome, welcome
We are happy to see you
What is your name?
What is your name?
Tell us now
Tell us now
What is your name?
- What is your name?
- I'm Shula.
OK.
Class, what did she say?
- Shula!
- OK.
Class,
last time when I gave you a test,
I came to discover that most of you
still have a problem
on punctuation marks.
I told you, a full stop is just like
when you are moving,
then you end, you stop.
Then you put that full stop
to show that you have stopped.
So you are showing someone
that the sentence has ended.
Welcome, servant of the Government.
Thank you.
How is your father?
He's fine.
Is that true?
Yes, ma'am.
When was the last time you saw him?
About a week ago,
I spoke to him on the phone.
- What about your mother?
- She's fine, too.
I hope your wife is fine too.
Yes, ma'am.
I've heard rumours
that we have a witch
who has the power to bring rain.
Yes, ma'am.
People in this kingdom are struggling.
They're complaining
because they started planting,
but their crops are dying in the field.
Where is the rain?
I heard that it's that little girl
you sent to school.
According to the laws
of the Government...
- The Government?
- Yes.
Tell me, where was the Government
when I brought the witches here?
And where was the Government
when I was feeding them?
Where was the Government?
Are these the plans of the Government,
that they should come here,
saying, "We'll buy you buses,
we'll buy you uniforms,"
so they can get 50%?
This is my kingdom.
The Government has no right at all.
The Government requires that all children...
We do not send witches to school.
Go back and tell the Government
that I'm angry.
And don't take anything out
or add anything!
Unedited version!
Yes, ma'am.
Thank you.
Thank you, ma'am.
He's becoming stupid.
Chocolate biscuit.
Chocolate biscuit.
Chocolate biscuit.
Chocolate biscuit.
Chocolate biscuit.
- Huh?
- Chocolate biscuit.
Huh?
If you are a witch,
bring us rain.
We want rain here.
Hurry UP-
Sorry.
Ahh.
Shula!
Why are you upset child?
Tell us.
If you are upset you have to say so.
Shula, what's upset you?
Why are you being so stubborn?
So what is bothering you Shula?
I was just thinking
I should have chosen to be a goat.
A goat is better.
It can move about freely and eat when it wants.
I should have chosen to become one.
No Shula stop it.
That's what you've been thinking
in that head of yours?
You can't become a goat!
They will kill you and eat you for supper.
Just touched down in London town
Bet they give me a pound
Tell them put the money
in my hand right now
Tell the promoter we need more seats
We just sold out all the floor seats
Take me on a trip, I'd like to go someday
Take me to New York, I'd love to see LA
I really want to come kick it with you
You'll be my American boy
He said, "Hey, sister
It's really, really nice to meet you"
I just met this five foot seven guy
who's just my type
I like the way he's speaking,
his confidence is peaking...
Come all
Let's sing for Shula
Come all
Let's sing for her
Come people
Let's sing for Shula
Come all
Let's sing for her
Come everyone, come all
Let's sing for Shula
This is the last celebration
Come everyone, come all
Let's sing for Shula
This is the last celebration
There's a celebration for birth
There's a celebration for marriage
But this is her last celebration
There's a celebration for birth
There's a celebration for marriage
But this is her last celebration
Come everyone, come all
Let's sing for Shula
This is the last celebration
Come everyone, come all
Let's sing for Shula
This is the last celebration...