I Do (2012) Movie Script

I do believe in fate.
I do believe in family.
I believe in telling the truth...
and that your actions have consequences.
I do believe that you can turn
for one second and miss a lifetime.
That you can connect.
That you should follow your heart.
- Hey. Jack Edwards?
- He's right over here.
Hi, cutie!
Hello, dude. Hi.
I believe in not giving up
on what you think matters
and what's worth fighting for.
I do.
Come on, guys. Seriously, though. What?
What's so important
that you came all the way over
the Brooklyn bridge to see me?
Mya, will you do the honors?
Okay. Jack,
your brother and I...
You're gonna be an Uncle, dude!
Shut up! That's brilliant!
Finally knocked the old girl up.
And to think, I only married
her for the green card.
Wow. Till death do us part.
That's charming, Peter.
And we were thinking
that we might like to name the baby
after mom or dad.
Oh, I like that.
That'd be nice.
Yeah, I think they would have loved it.
This is going to be great!
We're gonna be our own little family.
Is there anything else
I can get you right now?
Uh, no. We're good. Thank you.
She's been checking you
out since we got here.
Yeah, he's handsome.
You should ask him out.
He is handsome, but I'm
not gonna ask him out.
Do you want me to?
- No, I don't want you to.
- No, not for me!
For you!
Ugh. I have to pee again.
It's one of the wonders of being pregnant.
- So, Peter... you're gonna be a dad.
- I know.
It's great.
All of a sudden, there's all this...
Like I'm finally conforming
to something that was expected of me.
I mean, don't get me wrong.
I love Mya. I do. But...
Sometimes I wish I were gay.
Well, you guys, you have no
responsibility, no ordained path.
Us straight guys, we got to jump
through all those bloody hoops.
Peter, it's gonna be fine.
You have a beautiful wife.
You'll have an amazing kid.
I'd switch with you in a heartbeat.
What'd I miss?
Nothing. Nothing.
No, we were just...
talking about Jack as the gay uncle.
Gay Uncle here.
- That's the same guy!
- I know.
Yes! Here we are.
Oh, well done.
Oh, hang on a second. What?
I think I've lost my wallet.
He can't find his wallet.
Super. Well, I'll just wait here, shall I?
In the cold and the rain and the wet.
I found it.
Hey, chicken!
How was school?
We made cupcakes.
You did? Do I get any?
- No?!
- Hi.
Hello. I see you every day
picking up your little girl from school.
- Tara.
- Tara... right.
I just wanted to come introduce myself.
I'm Catherine.
God, she is such a cutie.
She really has your smile.
- Well, it was nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you, too.
- Bye.
- Bye.
See ya!
- Bye!
- Bye!
We're home, mommy!
Hey, Petunia!
- How was school?
- Great.
- She made cupcakes.
- Oh, yeah?
But we don't get any.
- How come?
- Because it was someone's birthday.
Hey, Tara, why don't you go and help mommy
and take the school books off the table?
Okay. No, I got it.
Why don't you go wash your
hands for dinner, okay?
I got groceries.
Jack, you can't keep doing that.
I'm getting paid tomorrow.
I'll write you a check, okay?
It's fine. Just feed me.
Tara, eat your vegetables.
- They taste yucky.
- I don't care.
You have to eat them.
You know what?
You know what happens when
you don't eat your vegetables?
You don't poo!
And you know what?
Do you know what happens
when you don't poo?
You fill up and up and up...
and then you explode!
Now, that's just silly.
It happened to a friend
of mine. It's a true story.
I promise...
that if you eat all your vegetables,
you can have as much cake
for dessert as you want!
- You promise?
- I promise.
Brilliant parenting, Jack.
Look, she's eating.
Yeah, you don't have to
deal with the fallout.
Little sugar monster.
I'm done, mommy. See?
"And the very next day, the prince
and the princess were married,
and they lived happily ever after. "
Wow! That's brilliant!
- All right. Time for bed.
- Can I read it again?
No, you have to go to bed.
- Can you check for monsters, please?
- Okay.
Nope. Not a sausage.
Now get some sleep.
- See you tomorrow.
- See you tomorrow.
Good night, sweetheart.
Good night, mommy.
8.0. 125.
That's great, guys. Okay,
so, I just want one more.
Last looks, everyone.
We'll be moving on to
formal wear after this.
- Here.
- Great.
All right, you got it? Great.
Clear the set, please!
For God's sakes, smile!
This is supposed to be the
happiest day of your life.
That's much better.
Now you're in love.
All right.
Are you coming tonight?
Because if not, I totally understand,
but I would be really upset,
and Christina and I are fighting,
so I'll probably be a total mess.
I'm coming.
It should be fun.
Sounds like it.
Who knows? Maybe you'll meet a cute boy.
- I'll see you at 8:00.
- Mm.
Come on. What happened to the smile?
All right.
All right. Beautiful.
Beautiful. Look at each other.
Oh, my God, it's freezing!
Why didn't you wait inside?
'Cause I said I'd wait outside.
So, she dumped me.
And she asked me to move out.
Are you okay?
Just... slightly heartbroken.
Come here.
Coat check, alco...
Alcohol, coat check.
Shall we?
Thank you.
Can I have another one?
Aah! Bollocks!
- You okay, down there?
- Yeah.
I'm just a clumsy oaf.
Here. Come over here.
Thank you.
I do this every time.
I have a wine in one hand...
just messy...
Hello. Hi.
I like your hair. It looks really good.
- You look good in red. I like it.
- Thank you.
- You having a good time?
- I'm having a great time.
- Good.
You have an accent.
You have an accent.
- I don't have an accent.
- Yes, you do.
I do.
I'm from England.
I'm from Spain.
We have to go.
- You okay?
- Nope.
Clams and champagne. Come on.
Um... okay, well, we have to go.
- It was nice to meet you.
- Don't forget your wine.
Um... I got to go.
I gotcha. I gotcha.
- Thank you.
- For what?
I can trust you. You're
always there for me.
Well, I held your hair back, didn't I?
- Good night.
- Night.
Oh, my God.
I feel like I drank a
bottle of paint stripper.
Who was that guy you were
talking to last night?
Which guy?
The tall, handsome one
you were drooling over.
- Oh, that guy.
- Oh, that guy.
He was cute.
Mnh. Sorry. It's all I've got.
I'll stick to my coffee.
You should have asked him out.
We should get going.
- Jack, it's jammed again.
- I'll grab the spare.
Uh... how are we lighting this?
I don't know!
- You're the lighting expert. - Michael,
the client needs to see you A.S.A.P.
Do the setup you did for the Clarent job.
- I loved that.
- Okay.
Go. Go, go.
I'm sorry, Jack.
But you said it was just a
question of me renewing my visa
and then I could apply for my green card.
After 9/11, all the rules have changed.
What exactly does that mean?
You'd have to go back to England
and start the whole process again.
No! That's impossible.
I did everything you told me to do.
Well, how long would I have to go back?
I mean, how long would
I have to be in England?
Some of my clients' cases
have been pending for years.
With a denial on your record,
it'll be almost impossible
for you to get another visa.
You could come here as a tourist.
- A tourist?
- I am so sorry.
Well, what if I was to
overstay, work under-the-table?
Jack, I know your situation.
If they find you living without papers,
they'll deport you right away.
You'd be banned from entering
the states for 10 years.
You wouldn't want to put
your family through that.
I'm not leaving, Gloria.
I shouldn't say this,
but if you have a girlfriend,
now would be a good time to marry her.
I love you, Tara.
You know that?
I know. You say it all the time.
Come on in.
- Where are you going?
- Nowhere.
I'll be right outside.
Can you leave the door open?
Of course.
- Night-night.
- Night-night.
- She go to sleep?
- Yeah.
Mya, there's something I have to tell you.
Is Tara okay?
Yeah, she's fine.
It's me.
My visa got denied.
I spoke to the lawyer today,
and she told me that the only
choice I have is get married.
Get married?
For my green card.
- You know that's not legal.
- Right.
So... You're not gonna do it.
Well, it's not like I want to do it,
but I don't really have a choice.
I mean, what are you and Tara gonna do?
We'll figure something out.
Well, I can't go back to England.
I don't know anyone.
I haven't been there
since I was a teenager.
I don't think that's
gonna fly with the I.N.S.
Well, what about you and Peter?
Well, you married him for his green card.
That's completely
different. We were in love.
Who would you marry?
Well, I was thinking Ali,
and then maybe I thought
me and you could...
You thought we could?
You didn't think about,
what if they caught us?
I could go to prison. What about Tara?
Okay. It was a stupid idea.
- How long do you have?
- Two months.
And you're sure there's no other option?
Then there's overstay.
All right, I don't want Tara
knowing anything about this.
Of course.
Okay, I'll figure it out.
Shut up!
Hi. Hello. Let me turn the music down.
That's better.
What's with the eggs?
Oh, those damn taxis blasting their horns.
Surprised you can hear
them over all the music.
So, I come bearing gifts
with ulterior motives.
It's, uh...
It's red, and it has stature.
Okay. Well.
Uh, you didn't pick this one out, did you?
No, the shop person did.
Very nice.
Very nice.
What do you want?
It jammed.
I tried the whole jiggle thing,
but I think I made it worse.
That happens if you jiggle too much.
That, it does.
Looks like there's some
life in the old girl yet.
You talking about you or the camera?
So, how's the little one?
She's fine.
What's up with you?
You look like you got smacked
in the face with a wet fish.
My work visa got denied.
- Oh, Jack.
- Yeah.
But I'm not gonna leave.
Of course not.
I'm gonna get married.
- Who's the lucky guy?
- Very funny.
I was married once, you know.
But I was straight back then.
Sally Anne.
We loved each other, naturally.
But, well, nature took its course.
I remember standing there at the
ceremony thinking my father did this,
his father did this, his father before him.
I felt
my whole ancestry stretching back.
Like that bad Donna summer video...
the one with all the mirrors.
It's true.
It was the first time
I ever felt a connection to
any sense of family of history.
I'm gonna have to give
this a real diagnostic.
Remember, Jack, a woman's
heart is infinitely more complex
than a man's.
What are you gonna do?
I need to get married.
Well, who to?
Oh, Jack, me.
I know it's a lot to ask, but
we do it properly, and
we could live together,
and then we'd have all the
right paperwork for immigration.
Look, I know this is totally illegal,
but I don't know what else to do.
I probably wouldn't even still be
living here if it wasn't for you.
I mean, you've
always fought for me to get hired...
every job you do.
That's not because you're
my bestie. It's because
you're bloody good at what you do.
I mean, maybe a little bit
'cause you're my bestie.
There's really no other way?
I'd have to move in with you.
Well, you need a place right now.
To hell with it. Let's do it.
- Really?
- Yes.
Let's do it now, before I change my mind.
Alison Bethany Federman,
do you take Jack Edwards to be
your lawfully wedded husband...
to have and to hold,
until death do you part...
According to the laws
of the state of New York?
I do.
Mr. Edwards.
I do.
I now pronounce you husband and wife.
- Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait!
- What? What, what? What?
- Come here.
- What?
Ohh! Jack.
You're pretty light for a lesbian.
Wait, Jack, oh!
- Oh.
- I mean, ohh!
Hello, wifey.
This one or this one?
That one. The other makes you look too gay.
I like this one.
- Jack!
- What?
Close the door!
Come on, Ali.
- So, how was school?
- Great.
Wondering when we were finally
gonna get to meet your wife.
Sorry. This is Catherine.
- Hi. I'm Alison.
- Hi.
We were trying to figure him out for weeks.
We called him the dill.
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you. I'd better go.
I'm hungry.
You ready to ace this test?
What's "ace" mean?
It means we're gonna
get every answer right.
- Okay.
- 100%.
- Ready, Freddy?
- Ready, Freddy.
Okay, what's this.
Uh... Mommy, I don't think
we'll get this one right.
Deltoid. That's an easy one.
It's the shoulder. What's this?
That's the bicep,
which is connected to the
flexor digitorum superficialis.
The arm.
What's this?
Well, this is totally useless.
- You want me to help?
- Please.
This is why I could never be a nurse.
There's no way I could
learn all this stuff.
So, Ali...
is it true that dress sizes
have been artificially lowered
to make us think we're skinnier?
Actually, they've been
doing that for years.
You know what really gets me,
is the size zero.
I can't believe anybody falls for it.
I mean, surely you would just
make the adjustments in your head
and figure out you're exactly the same
skinniness or fatness that you were before.
Do men notice dress sizes?
I do.
Uncle Jack?
Yes, Tara?
Are you and Ali married now?
Why would you say a thing like that?
Because I saw matching
rings on your wedding finger.
Ring finger.
They just got similar styles, honey.
Well, she's gonna find out at some point.
Find out what?
Uh, me and Ali are married.
But you like boys.
Um, but we're not really married.
Sweetheart, you remember when I told you
that Uncle Jack is originally from England?
You said he was from a island
off the coast of Europe.
Yeah... England.
Even though Uncle Jack has been
in this country since before you were born,
he still has to get special permission
so that he can stay here.
Stay here?
Mm-hmm... in America.
And they told him recently
he couldn't stay here anymore.
You're leaving?!
I'm not leaving. I promise.
Because you married Ali?
Because I married Ali.
Jessica's mom married someone
so they can get a green card.
I get it.
- How do you do it?
- Do what?
Tara, Mya... the whole thing.
I mean, you're practically her dad.
I'm not her dad. I'm the gay uncle.
Doesn't she have any
family that can help out?
Who, Mya?
None that will speak to her.
Ugh. I have to go.
Don't wait up. I'll be home late.
- You're staying?
- I'm staying.
Well, don't get into any mischief, hubby.
Another one.
'Sup, stranger?
- Hey!
- I missed you.
- I bet you have.
- I missed something.
Oh, is that why I haven't heard from you?
Uh... No, but I am a married man now.
Shit. I knew it.
I turned you straight.
Yes, you did.
And you need to respect
my marriage, fucker.
You're breaking my heart.
Shut up.
Green card?
No, me and my wife are very much in love.
Mm. Right. Yeah.
Do you shag her morning, noon, and night?
Morning, noon, and night.
She can't get enough of it.
She's beggin' for it.
You moving or something?
Shut up.
So, she's moving in?
You think?
It's a big deal.
Yeah... huge.
I'm serious. I lived with a girl once.
It was a total nightmare.
She got all clingy.
Little different than
your situation, though.
So... you still have my number?
- Craig...
- Relax.
We're not drifting into
boyfriend territory. I just...
I like you.
I like that.
I would kiss you goodbye, but
I want to be respectful of your marriage.
Fuck off.
See ya next time.
- Sam!
- What?
- You scared the shit out of me!
I thought you were dead!
I was just resting my eyeballs.
I came by to pick up the camera.
It's right over there.
That reminds me...
I found something in the back of the closet
you might be interested in.
This belonged to Avedon.
Here. It won't break.
It was incredible back then.
I mean, we didn't have any of this
digital thing that we have now.
If you wanted an elephant in the shot,
you actually had to ship one in.
You couldn't just sit at the
computer and click, click, click.
It's beautiful.
She's seen a thing or two, this one.
You really should be shooting again.
You know, I always said you had an eye.
Right. I'm off.
Oh, Jack!
I'm having some friends
over tonight for cocktails,
and I'd love it if you'd come.
It won't just be a bunch
of old farts, like me.
Bring the wife.
These are the folks I
was telling you about.
Hi, guys.
I want you to meet Mano Alfaro.
He's my architect, and he's from Spain.
We've met before.
- Yes, we have, at the, uh...
- The gallery.
- Right.
- Yeah.
The night Ali threw up on my shoes.
Thank you for reminding me.
How are you guys?
We're great.
- Sam, you were at the stonewall riots?
- Oh, yes, my dear.
I threw the first shoe.
- Show me the other one.
- I will.
I keep it by the bed at all times.
- So...
- So...
I was hoping that you
would come back that night
after you helped your friend...
Yeah. Sorry. My English is not so good.
- It's perfect.
- Yeah.
Oh, wow. You're...
- To...
- Yeah.
Oh, I...
- There was a problem with my...
- Green card.
- Exactly.
- Wow.
So, you, um, build buildings?
- Design.
- Right.
Um, are you more of an
office-block kind of guy,
- or do you design homes?
- Homes,
mainly. I used to... I've
done a few buildings, but it's
so sucking, you know, it's...
"So... so sucking"?
- Soul sucking.
- Yes, both of them.
So, are you really from Spain,
or you just bring the accent on?
Oh, no, I just put this on
so I can pick up married men.
Well, uh, it's working.
Wow. Yeah.
You live here?
New York?
Um... since I was 17.
Oh, wow, that's a long
time to be away from family.
Are you on holiday?
No, I have a place uptown.
- Oh, cool.
- Yeah.
You want to go outside and get some air?
Me too.
So, do you have a green card?
Actually, I was born here in America.
At St. Vincent's hospital.
No way.
So you are an American.
I'm a citizen, yes. My
mother's an American.
So you're faking the accent.
My mother met my father when, uh,
she was stationed in Madrid.
So, how old were you
when you moved to Spain?
- 4.
- Wow.
America was just a dream, you know?
I heard all about it from my mother.
She used to tell me these
fantastic stories about...
hot dogs and skyscrapers and subways.
Couldn't wait to leave Spain.
And you come here,
and after a while, it's just...
hot dogs and
skyscrapers and subways.
Do you miss Spain?
I miss my family.
Sometimes I wish
I could throw a rope over the ocean
and pull Europe closer.
Anyway, I'm talking off your ear.
No, no. I like it.
Mano! We need you in the kitchen!
- Excuse me.
- Yeah, yeah.
You're leaving so soon.
Yeah, we have an early call time.
Well, can I get your phone number?
I will be outside.
Um, how about you give me yours?
You don't want to see me again.
No, Mano, I do.
It's just, you seem like a great guy.
My life's complicated.
Jack, we're not gonna get married.
I just want to go out sometime.
That's my business card.
I hope you use it.
Did you call him?
Call who?
Come on, Jack.
You couldn't take your eyes
off him the whole night.
Was it that obvious?
He's a good guy.
Sam, I can't date someone.
Why not?
It's all right for a few weeks,
and then they find out, and...
Besides, I don't want Tara to
be introduced to a string of guys.
Oh, stop using the kid as an excuse.
I met Harry in the '60s.
We lived together for 32 years,
until he died.
And dating back then was tough.
We had to keep it hidden.
But when I first saw him, I thought,
"my God.
There he is. He's the one. "
And he was.
But only because I took a chance.
I let myself be loved.
It's not easy.
But if you find love, true love,
even once in this life,
you're a lot luckier than most, Jack.
Sam, that is the most
beautifulest thing I've ever heard.
Shut it, you little shit.
I'm hanging up.
- 'Sup, stranger?
- Hey.
You don't write. You don't call.
I was beginning to think
I wouldn't see you again.
Here I am.
Do you want to...
Take this back to my place?
I mean...
I do, but...
hey, don't get all sappy on me.
I mean, if you do, you do.
If you don't, you don't.
I got to go.
Don't be like that.
See ya, Craig.
He's right there.
You called.
- I did.
- Look at you.
So, you're from Madrid?
No, actually, I'm from
a vineyard in the Rioja.
It's been in my family
for a few hundred years.
Just a few hundred?
Yes, just a few hundred.
What about you?
The englishman in New York.
I always wanted to study photography, and
as soon as I was old enough,
I got a student visa and never looked back.
And what about your
mother and father?
They died when I was really young,
so my brother brought me up.
So he's here?
No, he died about seven years ago.
Got hit by a car.
I'm sorry to hear that.
Yeah, it's all right.
It fucking sucks.
Every day, actually.
All the time.
Sometimes I feel like I got off at the
wrong station or something, you know?
I know.
It's my sister-in-law.
It's okay.
No, no. It's fine. It's fine.
I can be there in half an hour.
Okay, bye.
It's my niece, Tara.
She's in the hospital.
I think I need to go.
No, please.
I got it.
Don't be stupid. I just
ruined a perfectly good date.
It's okay. It's okay. It's fine.
- Family comes first. You go.
- Okay.
- I'm sorry.
- Okay.
It's okay.
- What happened?
- She suddenly got this fever
that wasn't going down,
and she wasn't making any sense,
and there was this rash
that I didn't see before.
What did the doctors say?
They haven't come out yet.
- Where is she?
- She's in I.C.U.
- Mrs. Edwards?
- Yes.
She has bacterial meningitis.
Did the lumbar puncture come back positive?
And you've put her on antibiotics? Yes.
Is there an increase in ICP?
Well, you certainly know your stuff.
Is there an increase in ICP?
No, look, we caught it
early. She's gonna be fine.
When can we see her?
Are you the, um, father?
Yes, he's the father.
She's on isolation right now,
but we'll let you know as
soon as you can see her.
Thank you.
Did you mean that earlier?
About being the father.
You know you mean the world to us, Jack.
- Hi.
- Hey.
What are you doing here?
I talked to Sam. He told me everything.
Is she okay?
Yeah. Oh, she's fine.
She's gonna be fine.
I got you some coffee.
Oh, Christ.
I need a shower.
You're fine.
Have you eaten?
I went to my favorite
deli. I got you a bagel.
Thank you.
Oh, and I got you some clothes, too.
We're about the same size.
I got Mya some stuff, too, but
I don't know what size she is.
Where did you come from?
La Rioja.
La Rioja.
this is my life.
With Mya and Tara
and homework and sleepovers
and emergencies and
monsters under the bed.
I like your life.
You do?
It's life, no?
Homework, sleepovers,
monsters under the bed.
Maybe not monsters under the bed.
Okay, well, maybe not
monsters under the bed.
Do I smell?
But it's okay.
Where'd you get that scar?
My father caught me in bed
with the neighbor's son.
Did it hurt?
Not as much as the fact that
I haven't talked to my father
in years as a result.
He doesn't approve of my life choices.
That's too bad.
Family's important.
- Hey.
- You hungry?
I thought we'd get pancakes at that place.
Sure. Whatever.
You okay?
Yeah. I'm fine.
- I'll go get dressed.
- Okay.
Do you want kids one day?
I don't know.
It's not really something
I've thought about.
I mean, I know you have Tara, but...
Do you want your own?
Is that a loaded question?
Quit it.
- Shit.
- What?
It's evil ex.
- Christina!
- Ali.
I hear there's congratulations in order.
Don't worry. I'm not
gonna call immigration.
How are you doing?
Good, actually.
You guys enjoying the married life?
Yeah, it's great.
Well, you both look good.
Must be working for ya.
- Christina, I'm...
- Unh-unh-unh.
I didn't want to ruin
a perfectly lovely day
with you and your husband.
I just wanted to come by and say hi.
Take care of yourself, Ali.
You okay?
I'm fine.
This is from my family's vineyard.
It's a pretty good year.
It's the year I moved to America.
Sam, you want to do the honors?
I would love it.
Great nose.
Spectacular color, lots of black.
Very fruit-forward... black cherry,
persimmon, earth,
bark, cinnamon...
and a...
whoosh of halia.
What? What'd I say?
Okay, you're coming with me to Spain.
Well, you do get to take
one bag for free, darling.
I'm Jewish.
My father's more upset
that I wasn't bat mitzvahed.
You still talk to your dad, right?
Yeah. He's very proud of me.
I'm a gold-star lesbian.
A what?
"gold-star lesbian" means
that Ali has never had sex with a man.
Perfect-10 lady gay.
They should give out awards for that.
They do.
But he did choose his new family over me.
Well, what was he supposed to do?
You want him to be happy, no?
'Course I do.
I mean, it still hurts a lot.
He replaced me with pod people.
- They're just very...
- Normal.
Thank you.
Well, who wants to be normal, eh?
Hear, bloody hear.
Sam, you're empty!
Sweetheart, will you get a
bottle of wine in the back?
You're going to trust
him to choose the wine?
He'll be fine.
The good ones are in the back.
Are you coming home tonight?
No, I'm gonna stay and clear up here.
I'll have to call my mother and tell her.
That was amazing.
Thanks for a great night.
Great wine.
- Thanks.
- Night, darling.
Thank you.
Thank you.
- Good night, guys.
- Bye, guys.
- Bye.
- Bye. Thank you.
There's my girl!
Have you heard yet about your interview?
Not yet.
What was it like for you and Peter?
It was pretty easy.
We had our first interview
about nine months after
we sent in the paperwork.
What about the second interview?
We didn't make it to the second interview.
I'm sorry.
It's great, isn't it?
Settling down?
Oh. Yep.
- Finally.
He always hoped he
would... you know, Peter.
Get her! Get her!
Are you nervous?
About the interview?
A little.
He's hardly home. I mean,
we know each other. I'm just...
I'm sure I'm just being paranoid.
No, I... I think you should be.
That's your brother?
He's handsome.
He was everything you'd
want from a big brother.
And I'm sure he would be very
proud of you if he was here.
Tara's an amazing little girl.
And that's because of you.
Mano, what happens if I get deported?
You're not getting deported.
Yeah, but what if I do?
What if I have to go back to England?
Then I'll come with you.
Come here.
Now come on. Up you get.
And take these pictures with you. Come on.
Come on, come on, come on.
I want you to put some pictures up.
Isn't that a big deal?
I can take it.
I even got you these.
You are too funny.
No, wait. Just...
Let me just...
one last look before you...
Do it.
- Okay, you can look.
Okay. My turn.
Okay, more.
Hello? Hi!
I'm good.
Yes, he's treating me well.
Stop it!
I can't wait to meet you, too.
Your mother...
mum says she can't wait for us to go visit.
Yeah, I can't leave the country
until I get my green card.
I know it sucks.
You can't come here?
I'm sorry to hear that.
Uh... uh, one second. One second.
- Oh, my God.
- It's your dad.
She said he's not feeling very well.
There's always something
wrong with my dad anyway.
Stop it!
It's Mya.
Stop it! Stop it.
Of course. Of course.
Okay. Okay, bye.
Everything okay?
Want to come to a slumber party?
A slumber party?
Yeah! Yeah, let's go!
It has an unbreakable probe
that uses disposable combs.
Are you Mrs. Edwards?
Uh, yeah.
We're from immigration
and customs enforcement.
We need to come in and
ask you a few questions.
- Okay.
- Is Mr. Edwards here?
Uh... no, he's not.
W... what are you doing?
Don't you need a search warrant for this?
We're immigration, Mrs.
Edwards, not the police.
When will your husband be back home?
Uh... I don't know.
Well you may want to call him.
Jack, the I.N.S. are here.
I don't know.
They want to see you... us.
I don't care who looks after Tara.
You have to come here now.
Please repeat after me,
I declare under penalty of perjury...
I declare under penalty of perjury...
That the following is true and correct.
That the following is true and correct.
Your husband's visa was denied.
Were you engaged to be married
before the visa was denied?
What's your maiden name,
address, and date of birth?
Alison Federman,
- 300 west 12th street.
- Apartment J4, New York, New York,
- 10012.
- Your wife's date of birth?
Uh, April 9, 1981.
April 9, 1981.
What was the last meal
you had with each other?
Uh, Italian.
Yeah, more specifically.
Where'd you meet your wife?
N.Y.U... through friends.
N.Y.U... the darkroom.
Who sleeps on which side of the bed?
I sleep on the right.
I sleep on the left.
I sleep on the left. N... n... n...
no, sorry. I sleep on the right.
I always get that confused.
What's your husband's favorite food?
Spanish. He likes Spanish food.
Are you circumcised?
Is your husband circumcised?
He's English.
I'm English.
You're free to go.
- What?
- Yeah, you can go.
You'll have another
meeting in about six months.
- Ali!
- Don't, Jack! Don't!
Do you have any idea
what that was like for me?
I'm sorry.
I didn't know they were
gonna come to the house.
Do you even care about this marriage?
- Of course I do.
- That's the wrong question.
Do you even care about me?
'cause I think that all you care
about is what you can get from me
and this marriage.
That's not true!
Of course I care about you.
Mya needed me.
You are never here anymore, Jack.
The second Mano came into this
picture, you just disappeared.
- I'm sorry.
- I trusted you.
I trusted you with my life.
I can go to jail because of this.
- Ali!
- Don't touch me!
He's gone all the time, and
it's really freaking me out.
I mean, I know he has a life, but...
He's basically moved in with him already.
I'm afraid the I.N.S.
could come back at any time.
I just don't know what to do.
Al, it's not the 1950s.
If you're not happy, you can get a divorce.
What about Tara and Mya and...
think about this logically.
You can go to federal prison
if they find out this
is a fraudulent marriage.
I know he's your best friend,
but you have to think
about what's right for you,
He can find somebody else.
Is he really worth the risk?
She won't even talk to me.
Give her some time. She'll come around.
Mano! What if somebody sees?
We'll tell them we're European.
You okay?
I want a divorce. I can't do this.
I thought I could, but I just, uh...
I'm sorry.
I spoke with a lawyer. You'll have until
the next meeting before they find out.
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
What happened?
What happened?
Come on.
This is pretty standard stuff, guys.
And this is a good friend of yours?
Is there nothing we can do?
You can fight it.
- It wouldn't be easy.
- How much are we talking?
$10,000, $15,000.
And there's absolutely no guarantee
they'd approve him anyway.
I don't want to fight it.
You don't have a choice.
If you leave the country now,
they'll never let you back in.
- If you were to marry someone else...
- Someone else?
I know. I know it's risky, but
it would keep you here.
So I wouldn't have to go back at all?
- No.
- What about me?
I'm an American citizen.
I could marry Jack.
Y... you can.
Are you kidding me?
Jack Edwards...
no, not like this. Why not?
I told you yesterday
that if you were to get deported,
I would go back to England with you.
But this is like...
- For real.
- You don't understand.
This is exactly what I want.
Still here, guys.
You can marry Jack,
but it won't do a damn thing
to keep him in this country.
I don't understand.
It's legal in New York.
Immigration is a
federal-level right, Mano.
As the law stands, with gay marriage
only being on the state level,
your marriage would mean nothing.
So our relationship means nothing?
Your relationship is not the problem here.
The problem is, you don't have the
same rights as a straight couple.
Your marriage may look and
feel the same, but it's not.
I'm sorry, guys.
There's simply nothing we can do.
Look, my son is gay.
He's been with his partner 10 years now.
I know what you guys are up against.
You're gonna have to either
fight this divorce
or find another woman
that would be willing to
go the whole way with you.
It's gonna be okay.
I promise.
What did you do, Jack?
You must have done something.
Other than not being there when
the fucking I.N.S. turned up
Jesus, Jack.
Well, I was babysitting for you, Mya.
What, so this is all my fault now?
Well, if you hadn't been called into
work and I wasn't babysitting for you,
then I would have been there!
Yeah, well, if you hadn't lost your wallet,
none of us would be
here in the first place.
W... what's that supposed to mean?
Nothing. Just forget I ever said it.
- You think that I...
- No!
What I think is, sometimes
things happen in life, okay?
I think sometimes things happen,
and you just have to grow the fuck up
and move on.
You think that I killed Peter.
I didn't say that.
No, you think that I killed my own brother!
I didn't say that.
So what did you say?!
I didn't say anything.
I didn't think anything.
Just drop it, okay?
Go on. Say it.
Say it, Mya.
Say what you've been wanting to say
- for seven fucking years!
- All right, fine!
I wish it was you.
I wish to God it was you
that was killed that night.
I wish it was you
that was standing outside in the rain
by that cab while my husband kept me warm
when I had just found out I
was pregnant with his child!
You don't think that I wish that?
Every day?
Mya, I know who I am.
I'm not her father.
I'm just the gay uncle.
- I'm sorry.
- I got to go.
I'm sorry.
Hey, guys. Here they are.
Hey. Sorry we're late.
So, this is April.
- Hi.
- Hi.
You two guys certainly
make a handsome couple.
Yes, one that doesn't have too
many rights, or so it seems.
Well, that's why we're here, gentlemen.
It's my mother.
I have to take this call.
- What time is it there?
- Early.
I'll be right back. Excuse me.
Well, I think we have a solution.
Right. Um...
the reason I wanted to
meet you, Jack, is, uh,
Sam told me you're looking for a wife.
Yeah, for my green card.
Because it's funny...
I was just telling Sam
how I was having such
a difficult time meeting any decent guys.
I mean, they're all such...
Sorry. You have to take them, too.
Anyway, I'm not getting any younger,
and I'd really like to have a baby.
So what we were thinking is,
if you would donate some sperm
so April can have a baby...
I would marry you for your green card.
Donate sperm?
If we time it right, I could be
pregnant for the I.N.S. meeting.
and then no one could question
why you're getting married.
It's perfect.
Plus, you'd both have a vested interest,
so no one could back out.
Well, I certainly couldn't back out.
I'd be pregnant.
- It'd be very obvious.
- I guess.
I... I don't know what to say. Um...
can you excuse me for just one second?
It's my father.
He had a stroke.
There's been extensive brain damage.
They said it's gonna be a
very long rehabilitation.
Jesus, Mano.
I have to go back.
Of course. You must.
I was hoping you would come with me.
You know I can't do that.
I wouldn't get back in the country.
I wasn't thinking we would be coming back.
I already turned in my resignation.
You're moving back?
My mother can't do this by herself.
Isn't there another family
member that can help?
This is my father, Jack.
The man almost beat you half to death
when you told him you were gay.
He's my flesh and blood.
He needs me.
You think this is what I want to do?
You think this is...
Easy? This is...
I don't know what to do, Jack.
Well, you have to go back.
Then come with me.
Maybe we can do a long-distance thing.
I could throw rope across the
ocean and pull Europe closer.
You could come here every couple of months.
I guess I misunderstood
what was going on here.
We can have a marriage in Spain...
a real marriage.
I can't leave, Mano.
Whose life are you living, anyway?
- I fell in love with you.
- Yeah.
And I fell in love with you.
You got me a ticket?
In case you change your mind.
I should go.
You babysit her, huh?
Hey, nice to meet you. Kathy.
I'm sorry. I... I called. I just...
- Where's Mano?
- He moved back to Spain.
Thank you.
I should... okay.
Good luck, Jack.
Hey. Yeah.
Um, do you want to meet for a drink?
Hey, handsome.
I didn't think you were gonna show.
Yeah. Sorry I'm late.
No worries. You're here now.
Two shots.
- We're celebrating?
- Sure.
So, I haven't heard from you in a while.
You still all loved up?
Sorry to hear that.
Actually, I'm just having a
really hard time right now,
and I could really use a friend.
You coming in?
I can't, Jack.
Not even for a bit?
I thought maybe you could stay the night.
Look, you're a great guy,
and God knows I love hooking up with you,
but this isn't what I signed up for.
It's not what either of
us signed up for, right?
I got to go.
I'm glad you called, son.
I really fucked up, didn't I?
Hey, hang on.
Here... I want you to have this, Jack.
It's seen too much just
to be sitting on a shelf
somewhere, gathering dust.
I can't.
You can. And you will.
Take beautiful pictures, Jack.
Thank you.
Okay. Okay.
Uncle Jack?
Are you going to live with Uncle Mano?
You know I can't do that.
But you love him, don't you?
I promised I'd never leave you.
Promises are for kids so they
don't feel scared about things.
Where'd you get all this?
I don't know.
But you guys should
just get married already.
And leave you here?
To be honest,
you've been pretty useless
since Uncle Mano left.
You want me to check for
monsters under the bed?
Don't be silly.
There are no monsters under the bed.
Of course there's not.
Good night, Uncle Jack.
- Hi.
- Hi.
How's it going?
Well, right now I'm trying to remember how
prokaryotic cells transfer genetic
information to other prokaryotic cells.
This test is tomorrow.
I haven't even gone through
half of these things.
- Want some help?
- I would love some.
Lysosomes are not found
in prokaryotic cells...
true or false?
Lysosomes are only found
in eukaryotic cells.
The difference between prokaryotic
and eukaryotic cells is that
prokaryotic cells have no true nucleus
or membrane bound organelles
but eukaryotic cells do.
- Is that true or false?
- False.
Okay. One down.
200 to go.
Hey, I'm really sorry about
what I said the other day.
You've been more of a father to Tara
than I could ever have hoped for.
I really couldn't have
done this without you.
- Yeah, you could.
- No. I couldn't.
Have you thought about
what you're gonna do?
No. I don't want to talk about it.
Uh, sporulation is initiated
by the lack of nutrients in the media...
- true or false.
- True.
Are you gonna move to Spain?
The cell compound labeled
7 in this diagram...
hey, I'm serious.
Tara's almost 8. I'm
almost done with school.
- Spain?
- Yeah. So what?
We'll come visit you.
You know your brother wanted her to
spend as much time in Europe as possible.
I can't just up and leave you guys.
You can.
You've been living our life
for the last eight years.
- It's what I wanted.
- I know.
I love Tara.
Of course you do.
But this is your life, Jack.
Prokaryotic cells transfer genetic
information by the use of...
"a," pili, "b," mitochondria,
or "c," flag-ela.
"A," pili.
- Okay.
- Next.
I don't like this.
What do you mean you don't like this?
I told you.
Well, they're not perfect.
Yeah, right.
They're great.
Sam, I could find a cup,
and you'd think it was great.
Here, look.
This is totally blown out.
Yeah, and you can fix that later.
Well, I know, but
if I'd got it right the first
time, I wouldn't have to.
It's beautiful.
Hm. I don't know.
You have too great an eye to...
- Hey.
- Hey. Uh,
- Mya, maybe we should...
- No. No, no. Please... stay.
I won't be long.
I never sent them in.
We're still married?
- Okay, Sam, maybe we should...
- Yeah, let's...
Take a closer look at these.
Look, I never meant to
hurt you. I just got scared.
We're still married?
I tried to mail them, but
I couldn't, for some reason.
- You had this the whole time?
- Yeah.
You can still get your green card.
I thought you'd be more happy.
Are you fucking kidding me?
I think you should leave.
Ali! Ali! Wait, wait.
Thank you.
- Are you joking?
- No.
I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you.
What you did for us, for me...
Jack, I know I put you through a lot.
No. I was selfish and single-minded,
and you put your whole life at risk.
Well, that's a little dramatic.
Do you forgive me?
I do.
Do you forgive me?
I do.
What are you gonna do?
Anyone want a piece of me?
- No, thank you, dear.
This is it.
I'll see you real soon, okay?
- You promise?
- I promise.
Happy graduation.
- I love you.
- I love you, too.
- You take a lot of pictures, now.
- Yes.
Come here, you.
I'll miss you.
I can't believe we're gay divorces.
I love you.
Jack, wait.
What's this?
Don't open it yet.
All right.
I'm leaving.
I believe in family.
I believe in fate.
I believe you can turn for
one second and miss a lifetime,
but your past does not dictate your future.
I believe the people that
you love are your life,
that there are things worth fighting for.
I believe we should all
have the freedom to love,
to create family,
and not be afraid of who we are.
I believe in love.
I do.