I Love America (2022) Movie Script
1
FLASHBACK OUTSIDE DAY
BOARDING SCHOOL 1974 - Countryside
Look Lisa, aren't these beautiful?
-What's this?
-An egg.
Who makes these?
-Hens.
-Yes!
You'll eat fresh eggs every day here.
Are you happy? Yes?
Why don't you go and play?
I have to speak to the lady.
If I'm not back for Christmas,
could you keep her?
Usually, parents come back
for the holidays.
I'm on tour at the Olympia.
Believe me, she'll be better off here.
Maybe her father then?
He's Jewish,
he doesn't celebrate Christmas.
I see.
I'm sure you won't say anything.
For you, Mom.
But Lisa!
Why did you yank up this flower!
I'm sorry.
-It's nothing.
-No, it's not.
If that's how you behave,
I'm leaving you here.
Some people
only dream of changing their life,
whereas others, like me, actually do it.
The idea is not to carry too much baggage.
Bags on wheels are easy.
But everything we carry inside,
memories, the life we leave behind,
things we're trying to forget,
the new life we are trying to create,
that's another story.
It's my story, and this is
what I want to share with you.
TO MY MOTHER AND MY FATHER
This is Luka, my best friend.
He's been in LA for five years.
What are you wearing?
I'm Hugh Hefner for Halloween.
He's why I'm here.
I have a surprise, a great event.
Good looking guys, producers,
it'll be fabulous!
-But I'm jet-lagged.
-You can rest when you're dead,
until then, enjoy.
-Speaking of dead people, how's your mom?
-Not great.
But she told me I could go
and said not to worry,
I shouldn't stay in France just for her,
it's fine.
And Paris?
-Still gray and full of grumpy people?
-That's right.
-A gift for you.
-What's that?
-Hugh Hefner always has a bunny.
-I love it.
-Hot stuff!
-I'll be your little bunny!
-You're here!
-Yes, we're here together, it's awesome!
I love it.
Come on! We're in LA!
In LA, everything reminds me
of why I wanted to make films.
The Way We Were.
Thelma and Louise, Rebel Without a Cause.
So many films that were an escape
when I was a child.
Here, baby. To your first Halloween.
-My first joint.
-It's still illegal in France?
What do you think?
They suck.
-Smile! Just between us!
-No, what are you doing?
Not while I'm smoking
and dressed like a slut.
But everyone's a slut at Halloween.
My kids follow me on Instagram.
I'll make it private.
There's my friend, Serena,
let me introduce you.
Hello.
Lisa, I have some bad news.
Well, I'm in the middle of a scene
from Night of the Living Dead.
It's Mom.
What?
-Her condition's gotten worse.
-Really? But...
She was fine,
otherwise, I wouldn't have left.
Listen, I'm calling because...
she wanted an injection
if the pain got too bad.
Yeah...
I need your approval.
After the injection,
she'll slowly pass away.
Shit, I can't believe this.
How long does it take?
Between 12 and 72 hours.
Even if I wanted to, I can't come home,
I don't have time now.
Maybe she'll wait for you.
She's never done that for me before.
She's doing this to annoy me
because I left.
She shouldn't suffer,
do what you have to, I'm on my way.
Want to talk to her?
To say goodbye over FaceTime?
What? Would you rather send her a letter?
Mom? Here she is.
Hi.
Hey, you!
Hi, Mom.
How are you feeling?
Dying is exhausting.
Look, everyone here can empathize.
You know I love you, right?
-Speak up.
-I couldn't care less.
I love you anyway.
She's a little out of it.
-What's that coat she's wearing?
-She's cold.
You know her, always the drama queen.
We'll wait as long as possible,
to give you time to get home.
I'll get there as fast as I can.
-Bye.
-Bye now.
Thanks for being here for me.
I wanted to change my life,
and death got in the way.
For once, she waited for me.
Are you okay?
For the first time, she let me
hold her hand without pulling away.
So I held her hand
until she died.
OUTSIDE DAY
LOS ANGELES - 1 MONTH LATER
So, you want to live like Alfred,
shut away from the world, is that it?
No, I haven't shut myself away.
I just lost my mother.
She died a month ago.
And you haven't had sex in three years.
She was sick for three years.
Is that a coincidence?
Wait till your mother dies,
then we'll talk.
It's all I dream about.
You say that now, but when it happens...
I'll be relieved.
I'm sure she'll treat me better
from heaven.
Don't change the subject,
should we sign you up?
I don't need that. I'm happy and free.
You still believe that?
Did you hear that nonsense, Alfred?
"Happy and free." That doesn't exist.
It's like unicorns, everybody talks
about them, but no one's ever seen any.
Oh, come on.
Listen, I'm 50 years old.
Guys my age are interested
in 25-year-old girls.
How would you know?
You've been out of action so long.
What if I told you,
MILF is the third most popular
online porn search?
Really?
Yes, that's right, your category.
What are the top two?
The most popular search is hentai,
and the second is lesbian.
I would've guessed sodomy.
-Don't move.
-You sound so gay.
That's not how it works.
You'll have to show me.
But I hate dating apps,
they're for losers.
Thank you, that says a lot.
No, but it's different for you.
It's okay for homosexuals,
but it's beneath heterosexuals,
is that it?
Here we go.
-I'd rather leave it to fate.
-Whatever...
And meet someone, naturally.
Such nonsense!
First unicorns, now Disney, brilliant!
If that bitch Cinderella had let fate
decide her future
she'd still be scrubbing
her stepmother's floors with mice.
But she was smart! She got her prince,
a big house and everything!
She didn't sit around like you.
Okay.
Fine, and so,
you do all the pre-screening,
you take care of responding to messages
and all that stuff.
And if you're not in the mood for sex,
I'll fill in.
No, I can't.
You're not feeling the LA vibe.
For once in your life,
why don't you relax?
Leave it to me.
Don't I seem so much happier here?
-Yes.
-Why do you think that is?
You make love however you want.
But in France, I wasn't highly regarded,
whereas here, nobody knows me.
It's so liberating to feel
you can become whomever you want.
Okay, well, I'm working on myself too.
I meditate, I do yoga,
I go to therapy...
Surely, I'm not going to end up
on porn sites!
But you're just starting out.
It's just a cool,
modern way of meeting people.
Where do you think you'll meet people?
In a nursing home?
Is that what you want?
That's what's gonna happen.
-I don't want to.
-Just send me four photos.
-What are you doing?
-Sending myself photos.
What? No, give that back, Luka!
-I said, no.
-Please.
You're attacking a homosexual,
that's a serious crime.
Shut up!
Give me my phone, stop fooling around!
I thought I came here
to write a screenplay
but I'm rewriting my story.
FLASHBACK INSIDE NIGH PARIS 1982 - DISCO CLUB
My father was a real playboy,
these new men obsessed with partying.
He was like magnet attracting
as many women as possible.
In those days, men were confident
in their power over women.
Back then, "Me too" meant,
"I'd like that."
The only woman he hadn't anticipated
attracting was me.
Here I am at 12,
staring through the judas hole
which is funny,
because my dad's name is Judas.
Hi, sweetie.
Hi.
What's wrong?
But he prefers to be called, Jules.
Mom...
She wants to send me back
to boarding school.
Does your mom know you're here?
No, I didn't know
if you'd let me stay with you.
Of course, you can stay.
Thanks.
Let me make you something to eat.
-Hungry?
-A little.
My father made eggs
no matter what the occasion.
My mother had twins,
I didn't fit into her new family.
Mom has a new boyfriend.
I don't think he likes me very much.
They want to send me to boarding school
to get me out of their way.
At 12, I was old enough to choose
which parent I wanted to live with.
I'd like to come live with you.
Then, stay here.
That inspired him to make scrambled eggs.
-Can you set the table?
-Yes.
I knew this was a big sacrifice for him.
He said, yes, he seemed happy.
Even if I'd never be as beautiful
as the models he had as girlfriends.
-I can leave if you want.
-No, it's nice, just the two of us.
He wasn't used to taking care of me.
So I had to grow up quickly
to spend time with him.
-Ready?
-Yeah.
Look at you, you're so pretty.
Despite everything,
I loved going out dancing with my dad.
Disco became my obsession.
-One day, I'll take you to Studio 54.
-Where's that?
In America.
I think I'd like America.
Go faster!
America has always reminded me
of scrambled eggs,
disco and my father.
-Hello!
-Hi!
-Everything okay, sweetie?
-Yeah, the usual,
strikes, jerks, cold weather,
just another day in Paris.
I'm sorry to hear that.
Get lost, asshole! Shit!
I'm so happy not to be in Paris right now.
Are you okay?
-I miss you.
-Me too.
-Will you come for a visit?
-Mom, I'm broke.
-I'll cover your plane ticket.
-No, it's fine.
Stop trying to pay for everything,
I can manage.
Grandma left us a little money.
-Whatever.
-I'd love to see you.
I have another call, I'm sorry,
I have to go.
-Okay, love you!
-I have to go. Bye now.
-Do you speak French?
-Of course.
I'm sorry to hear that.
Los Angeles is also the city of angels.
Angels who are open all night.
Choosing a man online...
This is the first time I get to pick.
Initially, I was reading each profile,
but my only real question is,
can I imagine him inside me?
There are three categories
I eliminate right away,
anyone with a firearm,
anyone with a motorbike,
and the largest category,
anyone who poses with their dog.
There's no way I'm sharing my man
with any dachshund.
No, thank you.
Every profile is like a disco ball
of the same humanness.
Actually, two balls.
And here I thought I was alone.
Suddenly, I feel connected to others who,
like me, long to be touched, loved,
and desired.
Three years of abstinence, that's enough!
Stupid missing kid!
You just ruined the best dream of my life!
Oh God! Sorry, forgive me.
I didn't mean that.
Please bring that child home.
Unbelievable!
You got 500 likes in one night.
It's a 9.0 on the dick-ter scale.
I've never seen this.
That's crazy! Are you sure?
Yes, sadly, I'm so jealous.
I've never received this many messages.
Says the guy who gets laid every night!
You heterosexuals have it easy,
it's not fair.
Life is hell for us, childhood,
adulthood, it's always a struggle.
There's one guy here who's crazy for you.
What do you want me to do?
What? How old did you say I was?
I told him the truth, 43.
No, I'm 50, not 43.
In California, you're 43.
There's a formula here in LA,
just like dogs, you lose seven years.
He wants to see you tonight,
what should I say?
That's impossible, I haven't waxed.
Okay, I'll see what I can do.
Did I tell you, Alfred ran away?
What happened?
I left him out on the balcony
to enjoy the full moon, when I came back,
he was gone.
I'll call you back.
Alexa? Please play some music.
Starting music.
Alexa? Where's Alfred?
I found many results for Alfred.
Alfred de Musset,
Alfred de Vigny, Alfred Hitchcock.
Which one would you like?
Alfred, my turtle.
I'm sorry, I didn't understand that.
Asshole!
Alfred!
Alfred!
-I do it every three months.
-A screening test?
My partners demand it.
-It's like a pass.
-That's right.
Why am I here?
I haven't done anything in three years.
You can't catch herpes
from snacking in front of the TV.
It's just a technicality, no big deal.
If you catch anything,
we'll know who to take to court.
That's how things work here.
-What?
-Did you wax?
Who? I don't want
to take anyone to court, that's crazy.
What if someone infects you
with a disease?
I'm not going to sue...
She's furious.
Shit.
-Sweetie, how are you?
-Hi, Mom.
I have to write an essay
on 19th century romanticism.
All right, "romanticism," um...
Can I call you back?
Make it fast, okay?
The safety inspection is over,
I'm as healthy as can be!
Such a long wait!
I thought they'd detected something.
I found this guy for you,
tomorrow, 7:00 p.m.
Yeah...
It's better to start with an average guy,
it's not as nerve-wracking.
Yes, I see what you mean.
It's just like pancakes,
first one's always bad,
but they get better after that.
You don't eat the first one.
It's your first time, baby,
do whatever you like.
Will you come with me?
-Wax?
-Yes.
It's a lot of work!
-This is just the beginning.
-It's all about logistics.
Dating apps help us
forget just how lonely we are.
But isn't the real journey
about discovering ourselves?
Come, I have a nice carrot for you.
FLASHBACK OUTSIDE DAY
Come here.
BOARDING SCHOOL 1978 - COUNTRYSIDE
Is it good?
-Lisa?
-What?
Come, it's your mother.
Mom!
Mom!
-Where is she?
-What are you doing with a carrot?
On TV, did you think
she was here in person?
Look there, on TV.
Not so close,
it's bad for your eyes. Sit here.
Fluffy?
Fluffy?
Fluffy?
-Eat.
-No.
You won't leave this table
until you finish.
Wait, oh my...
This?
But when was the last time
you saw someone's ass?
That's a good point.
And what an ass!
These apps aren't for me.
Of course, they are,
I've never seen anyone so popular online.
No, I gave some guy
an injection in the ass.
Honestly, it's like she's possessed,
she scares me.
These are my little friends from AA,
aren't they sweet?
I'm sure they'd fuck us for a martini.
-You're a monster!
-It's just the way it is.
Your next match is going to be awesome!
In France, this is what perverts do
outside a girls' school.
Trust me, I know about girls' schools.
But in LA, it's just a latte artist
whipping up some matcha tea.
Thanks, baby.
-I increased your range of matches.
-Yeah?
I just tweaked your age.
Older?
No, younger, they all have
mommy issues around here.
-Can I see?
-Yeah.
I can't focus my eyes.
So?
-Yes, much younger.
-But you like him?
-He looks intelligent.
-Bright eyes.
-There's something about him.
-Looks promising.
It'd be easier
if they had designated meeting points.
I can't see anything.
I won't be able to recognize him.
Let me see again?
But he's really hot,
honestly, I'd fuck him.
He's young though.
-Would you prefer his grandfather?
-Well, if I had to choose...
-It's fine, he's an adult.
-And cute.
If you're nervous, you can always try
dry humping, they love that here.
"Dry" what?
Making love with your clothes on,
Marie-Antoinette came up with the idea.
What's the point of that?
It's just to get acquainted
and gauge what he's got in his pants
without seeming like a slut
on the first date.
I don't do that on the first date.
-Yes, Mother Teresa.
-What?
-Heterosexuals are such hypocrites!
-I need romance, I don't know...
I have to go, we'll chat tomorrow.
No, you can't leave!
-What?
-I can't stay here alone.
But it's a date,
not some party with friends!
Anyway, he's late.
-You're not staying?
-I'm coming with you.
This really sucks!
So French, come on, let's go.
-You don't have it? Look again.
-I can't...
See? You can't find your ticket,
that's a sign!
You have to wait.
-No, I'm feeling a little tipsy.
-You look so sexy.
Wait, what's this?
It's him, "I'm at the bar."
See?
I told you he'd come.
He didn't see me,
maybe he's as blind as I am.
-Relax, listen to me.
-Okay.
Be a bad girl, be assertive.
You're strong, okay? Go for it!
Go on, work it!
Go on, arch your back!
-To you!
-Cheers!
Cheers! Very nice to meet you.
Absolutely, yeah.
My ass.
My ass?
It doesn't matter.
I love shopping with you,
it's as if we were married.
I love it, I love it all!
You know what?
I always thought I had to be in love
to sleep with someone,
but that's not true at all.
It's great to be a stranger,
to sleep with a stranger.
I was really present in the moment.
Good for you! I'm happy for you.
It's just another form of spirituality.
It's physical, as well,
we did it three times.
-Three times?
-Yes.
Is he fresh out of prison?
Well, madame,
I guess you don't need
any coaching from me!
No, I'm interested.
Okay, after lovemaking,
you ask him questions,
show him you're deeply interested,
after 20 minutes of bullshit talk,
you strike sexy hot poses
like Bardot in Contempt, like this,
you casually moisten your lip.
Remember that, it's really important.
Let him initiate the second time.
Let him come, pretend you're an insect
and let the spider do his thing.
I didn't have to this time,
he stayed all night.
-I hate you.
-It can't be this simple!
It's fantastic!
Don't get overly excited.
It's beginner's luck,
have you heard of that?
It means you had some luck too,
but you didn't capitalize on it.
No, how can you build on something
when the guy's still in bed with you
texting his next date?
The guys I like
never feel the same about me.
I ghost the guys who like me.
You don't have to be so dismissive.
That's how it is.
Life kills, come on,
it's my only pleasure.
I used to be like you, I was full of hope,
I wanted a family, pancakes breakfasts,
kids, a dog, the whole package.
But all I have is
my left hand for company.
See those two dads
with the baby over there?
I slept with one of them.
-No.
-Yes, last week.
-Daddy or Daddoo?
-Red t-shirt.
-Aren't you going to say hi?
-No.
Doesn't it make you sad?
Yes, of course.
Should I talk to him?
And say what? You slept with my friend?
You're married, stop sleeping around
or I'll rat you out?
Who does he think he is?
He can't even say hi.
You know the worst part?
-Herpes.
-No.
You have the best time
with a guy you just met.
The next day, naturally,
you're interested,
so, you check to see if he's online,
and there he is, and so are you.
That's the game, it's back to square one.
It's awful!
It's true, it's like a vicious cycle.
Thanks for pulling me
into your twisted circle.
-Isn't this nice?
-Amazing.
Why do you want to go home
for the holidays?
We're going to celebrate
Christmas together one last time,
at Mom's place.
You'll be back soon, right?
Yeah.
No, you're great! Magnificent!
I'm so proud of you.
It's beautiful to see.
Do you realize how far you've come?
Now, you're the boss! This is your club!
Too bad you'll miss the Christmas show.
I'll be back for the next one.
I promise.
I would've given anything
for a goodnight kiss with red lipstick.
FLASHBACK INSIDE NIGH PARIS 1978 - MOM'S PLACE
Take those shoes off!
Take them off!
You always do that,
I hate putting on warm shoes.
-Do you mind if I take these?
-No.
They're not too high for you?
Yes, but...
-This vest is gorgeous.
-It's yours.
I don't want too many of her things,
too many reminders.
-I know.
-Yeah.
Pretty.
This isn't bad.
Can I tell you a secret?
I love secrets!
-I met a man.
-You have a boyfriend?
Actually, I have a few.
-You?
-Yes, I swear, I don't...
Since she died,
I've been feeling really horny.
That's crazy! I'm exactly the same.
No, but I even signed up to dating apps.
Me too!
No!
-Incredible!
-That's incredible!
My sister!
I love you.
You're beautiful.
Am I crazy?
Of course not!
You're alive!
-Do you want this?
-No, not that.
One... seven... ten, eleven.
-Remember that FaceTime call with Mom?
-Yes.
She said, she couldn't care less
if you loved her?
That's not easy to forget.
She was talking to me.
I was trying to position the phone.
It haunted her
to think she said "I couldn't care less"
after you said you loved her.
You told her you loved her?
Well, yes.
-Is that how you felt?
-I think so.
Honestly, I was never really sure.
I don't know if it's a sign,
but Christmas is nicer without her.
-Don't you feel guilty at all?
-No, it's fine.
-Then we agree.
-About what?
Nothing, stop being nosy.
Mom, you can't stop talking
as you enter the room. Tell me.
Well,
Julien, Charlotte and I feel like
a burden's been lifted
since Mom died.
Obviously, she was so mean to you.
-You felt it too?
-Absolutely!
Will you be sad when I die?
-Let's not discuss death, it's Christmas.
-Whose death?
-Mom's death.
-No...
We were just talking.
It's okay to be sad, Mom.
-It's normal.
-My little baby.
Actually, we're not very sad.
You're horrible!
I got some lipstick on you.
Go on.
-This is what you got me?
-No, but...
It's complicated.
It's very nice,
such a great design, so cute.
Look, we have the same candy cane.
Look at your uncle.
Stunning, I don't know how to thank you.
I must admit, the lights are impressive.
-I love it.
-It looks good.
-It's understated.
-You really...
-Who is it?
-Well?
-What does that mean?
-It means, "Shut up,"
it's a man.
You're spoiled rotten!
Who was that?
-No one.
-Yeah right, you're blushing! Some man?
Who is it? Where did you meet him?
His name is John.
-John! I'm so happy, are you in love?
-How old is he?
Too many questions!
I'm so happy for you!
-John!
-Are you in love?
We just met.
How?
Over there.
-How old is he?
-He's 56.
Not bad.
That's enough questions!
All right.
It's good, it's what I need right now.
Is he from there?
-What do you think?
-Yes.
-What's that? Thanks.
-It's a little birthday gift from Mom.
She said, "I'll no longer be here,
"but I'd still like
to give her something."
You can't open it before the day.
Shit!
I might miss her after all.
-Get your glass, Mom.
-Okay.
Let's do another toast.
My darlings.
To you, my children.
To Grandma!
Merry Christmas, darling!
Let me introduce you to Alfred 2.
He needs love, he was abandoned too,
just like all of us.
When you look in the mirror,
all you see is you.
But if you look at yourself
in a disco ball,
you'll see a million versions of yourself.
Everything I know about quantum physics,
I learned from disco.
My father taught me life was a dance
to forget your fear of darkness,
until the light goes out.
-What happened?
-A stupid valet wrecked my car!
I'm so fucking upset, it's a mess.
Am I stuck driving this garbage now?
-I hope he was cute.
-Who?
-The valet.
-I don't want anything to do with him.
This has been the worst day, get in.
-Sweetie.
-What?
You're leaking.
Shit!
-It'll be fine.
-This is my mother's fault.
-You think so?
-She called me,
-"Your car's amazing!"
-Let's just go.
-I swear, I'm cursed.
-Come on, let's go.
Hello, anyway.
How's Alfred 2?
Didn't I tell you? I found Alfred 1,
he was under my bed.
I've always been frightened of reunions.
Hopes are often dashed.
Mom!
And love is rarely in the mix.
Mom!
Hello, sweetheart, how are you?
-Very well.
-Yes?
You've grown!
-Hello.
-Hi.
Did you pack your bag?
Yes!
All her things are ready to go.
-Yes.
-You've really grown!
What does that mean?
I can't believe this. I'm so stupid.
For my mother, the end of a relationship
was like the end of the world.
Mom, what's wrong?
Mom?
What is it?
Pierre left me.
Come here.
Never trust a man, do you understand?
Never, when you love them, they leave you.
Don't ever forget that, all right?
Now, let me sleep.
She and I aren't so different, after all.
-Hello?
-Hello?
I miss you.
I don't have time now.
I just wanted to tell you,
I'm moving in with Dad.
Fine, stay there, and never call me again!
-Like an idiot, I just let him go.
-Things will work out.
He'll never call me again, he was furious.
Put your ego aside and call him then.
I tried, he's not responding to my text.
Are you in love with him?
It's unexpected, but yes, maybe a little.
Give it a week,
things will work out, I can feel it.
Didn't you say,
dating apps never lead to love?
You only remember negative comments.
I was speaking for myself,
there's still hope for you.
It's like if I had to carry you.
That's a real mother.
My mother would drag me up the stairs,
she never carried me,
not even when I was a baby.
Don't leave me.
Why did you walk away?
He's so handsome!
And you were so rude.
Best view in the world, isn't it?
Breathtaking!
-Baby?
-Yes?
What were the odds
of bumping into the valet?
It's crazy.
-You agree?
-Yes, it's a sign.
He wants to see me again,
he suggested we go out for a drink.
Awesome! What did you tell him?
I don't know, you know me.
I get an eggplant emoji,
I text out a cucumber,
we get together to make salad,
we fuck, and then he leaves.
I'm not used to real life situations.
You have to get away from
those stupid apps
and get back to real people,
real experiences.
Let him see those beautiful eyes.
-It's true, my eyes are beautiful.
-Yes, on the phone display...
-I hope you two go out.
-We'll see.
You need to get back to apps,
and put aside your French way of thinking.
There are no subtleties in LA,
you need to go after what you want.
But I found a great guy.
John!
Anything is possible here.
Look at Melania Trump,
she could've ended up
selling fruit somewhere, she had nothing
and she became first lady.
Well, that's great.
-Completely naked?
-Yes, he's a nudist.
He wants to have a drink with me, naked.
It's kind of like
The Silence of the Lambs,
he wants my skin to make a coat!
No, I'm going to cancel.
Don't cancel! Most nudists are vegans,
they wouldn't hurt a fly, much less you.
It'll help you forget John.
I'm not so sure of that.
And nudists are very spiritual,
they have great energy.
How do you know?
My aunt was a nudist.
I never heard of any nudist pedophiles.
So?
Only people who wear clothes hurt others,
not nudists.
Here, take one gummy before your date,
it'll relax you.
-I love candies.
-No, they're full of THC, take just one.
-Are you sure I should go?
-What's the worst scenario?
-It'll be material for your next movie.
-You're right.
-Hi.
-Hi.
Hi, baby!
I'm outside the nudist's place,
you know, the Swedish guy?
I took three gummies,
I'm completely out of it.
Three? Are you crazy?
What am I doing here?
Seriously? What do you mean?
You're meeting another man to forget John.
That's how it works.
And you know the safe word.
I shouldn't have had those gummies,
I'm hot, I have a headache,
my head is spinning,
I'm sweating, it's awful.
-Why are you on the phone?
-Don't worry, you'll be naked soon.
The magic word is,
"Do you have some water?" Say it.
That's it. Anyway, I'll call you every
10 minutes, to make sure you're safe.
-Come on.
-Okay.
-I'm horny.
-Sure, okay.
-I'll call every 10 minutes, bye.
-Bye.
Come on.
-Yes.
-Is everything okay?
-Do you have water?
-You want me to rescue you?
I don't understand.
Is he well hung or what?
I'm fine. Can you call me later?
I'm out on a date.
-Everything okay?
-Yes, just call me back.
In America, they want to know where
you're born, but also where you're raised.
My mother gave birth to me,
but I raised myself.
Every day is a new dawn for rebirth
in anguish
or peaceful solace.
-Happy birthday, Mom!
-My angels!
-Happy birthday, Mom!
-Hello!
I miss you.
How are you? Not feeling too old?
Not too lonely?
I'm all right.
Is there someone in your bed?
He better treat you like a princess.
You hear me, Mr. American?
Did you hear my daughter?
Wait, "You hear me, Mr. American?"
Here's Mr. American, my pillow.
All alone.
So sweet!
The sheets aren't even messed up.
If you're lonely, you can come home.
We really miss you.
I miss you too, and your grandmother.
She always called on my birthday.
Did you open her present?
Shit, not yet!
I'll call you back!
"My Lisa,
"I know,
I wasn't always the perfect mother.
"So I'd like to make it up to you now.
"You've always liked this bracelet,
so, please,
"accept it as a token
of our new relationship.
"I'm also leaving you my red lipstick.
"Think of it as the last kiss
"I was unable to give you.
"Mom."
We leave our mother's body twice in life,
when we're born and when she dies.
So?
Wow! Amazing! There's no way
he can resist you looking like that.
Thanks.
Are you happy?
-I'm a little apprehensive.
-You shouldn't be.
If you saw yourself through my eyes,
you wouldn't be scared.
Are you okay?
Yeah.
Don't look at me like that.
-What's wrong with me?
-Nothing.
You're awesome.
Why isn't it working then?
Why is it, every time I meet someone
either I screw everything up
or he disappears.
You know?
You're a little like the two Alfreds.
You carry a big shell
to protect yourself from the time
your mother hurt you.
It's just that...
I'm just scared to let people see me
for who I really am.
Wait.
-Mary Poppins and her bag.
-You'll see.
This
changed my life.
And it'll change yours.
My gift to you.
Thanks for always being there for me.
-You're so handsome.
-I know.
-There you go.
-I know.
There's no point in listening
to a gay man cry. Go on,
you'll be late.
No codes tonight, no messages.
-I love you.
-Did you bring any condoms?
Of course, you never know!
Oh, wow!
-It's beautiful!
-Isn't it amazing?
My dear Luka, there's a better alternative
to the insect and spider scenario.
And that's when someone falls asleep
in your arms
and chooses to spend
the entire night, the entire week,
and the entire month with you.
There's one thing I've learned,
forgiveness doesn't heal the past,
it transforms it.
We can live without riches
Almost without a penny to our name
There arent many lords
And princesses, nowadays
But to live without tenderness
Would be impossible
No, no, no, no
We couldn't possibly live without it
We can live without glory
It doesnt prove anything
Even if we don't make history
We could live quite happily
But we cant live without tenderness
Thats out of the question
No, no, no, no
Thats absolutely out of the question
It's a sweet weakness
This lovely feeling
This need for affection
Were all born with it, it's true
In the fiery passions of youth
We discover pleasures
And love dazzles us
With overwhelming desires
But without tenderness
Love would be empty
No, no, no, no
Love would be meaningless
When you make a child happy
And they give you a kiss
All our sadness fades away
It brings tears to our eyes
Oh my God, my God
God, in Your great wisdom
And intense fervor
Send raindrops of goodness
Down deep into our hearts
Send torrents of tenderness
So that love may reign there
May love reign in our hearts
Until we take our dying breath
FLASHBACK OUTSIDE DAY
BOARDING SCHOOL 1974 - Countryside
Look Lisa, aren't these beautiful?
-What's this?
-An egg.
Who makes these?
-Hens.
-Yes!
You'll eat fresh eggs every day here.
Are you happy? Yes?
Why don't you go and play?
I have to speak to the lady.
If I'm not back for Christmas,
could you keep her?
Usually, parents come back
for the holidays.
I'm on tour at the Olympia.
Believe me, she'll be better off here.
Maybe her father then?
He's Jewish,
he doesn't celebrate Christmas.
I see.
I'm sure you won't say anything.
For you, Mom.
But Lisa!
Why did you yank up this flower!
I'm sorry.
-It's nothing.
-No, it's not.
If that's how you behave,
I'm leaving you here.
Some people
only dream of changing their life,
whereas others, like me, actually do it.
The idea is not to carry too much baggage.
Bags on wheels are easy.
But everything we carry inside,
memories, the life we leave behind,
things we're trying to forget,
the new life we are trying to create,
that's another story.
It's my story, and this is
what I want to share with you.
TO MY MOTHER AND MY FATHER
This is Luka, my best friend.
He's been in LA for five years.
What are you wearing?
I'm Hugh Hefner for Halloween.
He's why I'm here.
I have a surprise, a great event.
Good looking guys, producers,
it'll be fabulous!
-But I'm jet-lagged.
-You can rest when you're dead,
until then, enjoy.
-Speaking of dead people, how's your mom?
-Not great.
But she told me I could go
and said not to worry,
I shouldn't stay in France just for her,
it's fine.
And Paris?
-Still gray and full of grumpy people?
-That's right.
-A gift for you.
-What's that?
-Hugh Hefner always has a bunny.
-I love it.
-Hot stuff!
-I'll be your little bunny!
-You're here!
-Yes, we're here together, it's awesome!
I love it.
Come on! We're in LA!
In LA, everything reminds me
of why I wanted to make films.
The Way We Were.
Thelma and Louise, Rebel Without a Cause.
So many films that were an escape
when I was a child.
Here, baby. To your first Halloween.
-My first joint.
-It's still illegal in France?
What do you think?
They suck.
-Smile! Just between us!
-No, what are you doing?
Not while I'm smoking
and dressed like a slut.
But everyone's a slut at Halloween.
My kids follow me on Instagram.
I'll make it private.
There's my friend, Serena,
let me introduce you.
Hello.
Lisa, I have some bad news.
Well, I'm in the middle of a scene
from Night of the Living Dead.
It's Mom.
What?
-Her condition's gotten worse.
-Really? But...
She was fine,
otherwise, I wouldn't have left.
Listen, I'm calling because...
she wanted an injection
if the pain got too bad.
Yeah...
I need your approval.
After the injection,
she'll slowly pass away.
Shit, I can't believe this.
How long does it take?
Between 12 and 72 hours.
Even if I wanted to, I can't come home,
I don't have time now.
Maybe she'll wait for you.
She's never done that for me before.
She's doing this to annoy me
because I left.
She shouldn't suffer,
do what you have to, I'm on my way.
Want to talk to her?
To say goodbye over FaceTime?
What? Would you rather send her a letter?
Mom? Here she is.
Hi.
Hey, you!
Hi, Mom.
How are you feeling?
Dying is exhausting.
Look, everyone here can empathize.
You know I love you, right?
-Speak up.
-I couldn't care less.
I love you anyway.
She's a little out of it.
-What's that coat she's wearing?
-She's cold.
You know her, always the drama queen.
We'll wait as long as possible,
to give you time to get home.
I'll get there as fast as I can.
-Bye.
-Bye now.
Thanks for being here for me.
I wanted to change my life,
and death got in the way.
For once, she waited for me.
Are you okay?
For the first time, she let me
hold her hand without pulling away.
So I held her hand
until she died.
OUTSIDE DAY
LOS ANGELES - 1 MONTH LATER
So, you want to live like Alfred,
shut away from the world, is that it?
No, I haven't shut myself away.
I just lost my mother.
She died a month ago.
And you haven't had sex in three years.
She was sick for three years.
Is that a coincidence?
Wait till your mother dies,
then we'll talk.
It's all I dream about.
You say that now, but when it happens...
I'll be relieved.
I'm sure she'll treat me better
from heaven.
Don't change the subject,
should we sign you up?
I don't need that. I'm happy and free.
You still believe that?
Did you hear that nonsense, Alfred?
"Happy and free." That doesn't exist.
It's like unicorns, everybody talks
about them, but no one's ever seen any.
Oh, come on.
Listen, I'm 50 years old.
Guys my age are interested
in 25-year-old girls.
How would you know?
You've been out of action so long.
What if I told you,
MILF is the third most popular
online porn search?
Really?
Yes, that's right, your category.
What are the top two?
The most popular search is hentai,
and the second is lesbian.
I would've guessed sodomy.
-Don't move.
-You sound so gay.
That's not how it works.
You'll have to show me.
But I hate dating apps,
they're for losers.
Thank you, that says a lot.
No, but it's different for you.
It's okay for homosexuals,
but it's beneath heterosexuals,
is that it?
Here we go.
-I'd rather leave it to fate.
-Whatever...
And meet someone, naturally.
Such nonsense!
First unicorns, now Disney, brilliant!
If that bitch Cinderella had let fate
decide her future
she'd still be scrubbing
her stepmother's floors with mice.
But she was smart! She got her prince,
a big house and everything!
She didn't sit around like you.
Okay.
Fine, and so,
you do all the pre-screening,
you take care of responding to messages
and all that stuff.
And if you're not in the mood for sex,
I'll fill in.
No, I can't.
You're not feeling the LA vibe.
For once in your life,
why don't you relax?
Leave it to me.
Don't I seem so much happier here?
-Yes.
-Why do you think that is?
You make love however you want.
But in France, I wasn't highly regarded,
whereas here, nobody knows me.
It's so liberating to feel
you can become whomever you want.
Okay, well, I'm working on myself too.
I meditate, I do yoga,
I go to therapy...
Surely, I'm not going to end up
on porn sites!
But you're just starting out.
It's just a cool,
modern way of meeting people.
Where do you think you'll meet people?
In a nursing home?
Is that what you want?
That's what's gonna happen.
-I don't want to.
-Just send me four photos.
-What are you doing?
-Sending myself photos.
What? No, give that back, Luka!
-I said, no.
-Please.
You're attacking a homosexual,
that's a serious crime.
Shut up!
Give me my phone, stop fooling around!
I thought I came here
to write a screenplay
but I'm rewriting my story.
FLASHBACK INSIDE NIGH PARIS 1982 - DISCO CLUB
My father was a real playboy,
these new men obsessed with partying.
He was like magnet attracting
as many women as possible.
In those days, men were confident
in their power over women.
Back then, "Me too" meant,
"I'd like that."
The only woman he hadn't anticipated
attracting was me.
Here I am at 12,
staring through the judas hole
which is funny,
because my dad's name is Judas.
Hi, sweetie.
Hi.
What's wrong?
But he prefers to be called, Jules.
Mom...
She wants to send me back
to boarding school.
Does your mom know you're here?
No, I didn't know
if you'd let me stay with you.
Of course, you can stay.
Thanks.
Let me make you something to eat.
-Hungry?
-A little.
My father made eggs
no matter what the occasion.
My mother had twins,
I didn't fit into her new family.
Mom has a new boyfriend.
I don't think he likes me very much.
They want to send me to boarding school
to get me out of their way.
At 12, I was old enough to choose
which parent I wanted to live with.
I'd like to come live with you.
Then, stay here.
That inspired him to make scrambled eggs.
-Can you set the table?
-Yes.
I knew this was a big sacrifice for him.
He said, yes, he seemed happy.
Even if I'd never be as beautiful
as the models he had as girlfriends.
-I can leave if you want.
-No, it's nice, just the two of us.
He wasn't used to taking care of me.
So I had to grow up quickly
to spend time with him.
-Ready?
-Yeah.
Look at you, you're so pretty.
Despite everything,
I loved going out dancing with my dad.
Disco became my obsession.
-One day, I'll take you to Studio 54.
-Where's that?
In America.
I think I'd like America.
Go faster!
America has always reminded me
of scrambled eggs,
disco and my father.
-Hello!
-Hi!
-Everything okay, sweetie?
-Yeah, the usual,
strikes, jerks, cold weather,
just another day in Paris.
I'm sorry to hear that.
Get lost, asshole! Shit!
I'm so happy not to be in Paris right now.
Are you okay?
-I miss you.
-Me too.
-Will you come for a visit?
-Mom, I'm broke.
-I'll cover your plane ticket.
-No, it's fine.
Stop trying to pay for everything,
I can manage.
Grandma left us a little money.
-Whatever.
-I'd love to see you.
I have another call, I'm sorry,
I have to go.
-Okay, love you!
-I have to go. Bye now.
-Do you speak French?
-Of course.
I'm sorry to hear that.
Los Angeles is also the city of angels.
Angels who are open all night.
Choosing a man online...
This is the first time I get to pick.
Initially, I was reading each profile,
but my only real question is,
can I imagine him inside me?
There are three categories
I eliminate right away,
anyone with a firearm,
anyone with a motorbike,
and the largest category,
anyone who poses with their dog.
There's no way I'm sharing my man
with any dachshund.
No, thank you.
Every profile is like a disco ball
of the same humanness.
Actually, two balls.
And here I thought I was alone.
Suddenly, I feel connected to others who,
like me, long to be touched, loved,
and desired.
Three years of abstinence, that's enough!
Stupid missing kid!
You just ruined the best dream of my life!
Oh God! Sorry, forgive me.
I didn't mean that.
Please bring that child home.
Unbelievable!
You got 500 likes in one night.
It's a 9.0 on the dick-ter scale.
I've never seen this.
That's crazy! Are you sure?
Yes, sadly, I'm so jealous.
I've never received this many messages.
Says the guy who gets laid every night!
You heterosexuals have it easy,
it's not fair.
Life is hell for us, childhood,
adulthood, it's always a struggle.
There's one guy here who's crazy for you.
What do you want me to do?
What? How old did you say I was?
I told him the truth, 43.
No, I'm 50, not 43.
In California, you're 43.
There's a formula here in LA,
just like dogs, you lose seven years.
He wants to see you tonight,
what should I say?
That's impossible, I haven't waxed.
Okay, I'll see what I can do.
Did I tell you, Alfred ran away?
What happened?
I left him out on the balcony
to enjoy the full moon, when I came back,
he was gone.
I'll call you back.
Alexa? Please play some music.
Starting music.
Alexa? Where's Alfred?
I found many results for Alfred.
Alfred de Musset,
Alfred de Vigny, Alfred Hitchcock.
Which one would you like?
Alfred, my turtle.
I'm sorry, I didn't understand that.
Asshole!
Alfred!
Alfred!
-I do it every three months.
-A screening test?
My partners demand it.
-It's like a pass.
-That's right.
Why am I here?
I haven't done anything in three years.
You can't catch herpes
from snacking in front of the TV.
It's just a technicality, no big deal.
If you catch anything,
we'll know who to take to court.
That's how things work here.
-What?
-Did you wax?
Who? I don't want
to take anyone to court, that's crazy.
What if someone infects you
with a disease?
I'm not going to sue...
She's furious.
Shit.
-Sweetie, how are you?
-Hi, Mom.
I have to write an essay
on 19th century romanticism.
All right, "romanticism," um...
Can I call you back?
Make it fast, okay?
The safety inspection is over,
I'm as healthy as can be!
Such a long wait!
I thought they'd detected something.
I found this guy for you,
tomorrow, 7:00 p.m.
Yeah...
It's better to start with an average guy,
it's not as nerve-wracking.
Yes, I see what you mean.
It's just like pancakes,
first one's always bad,
but they get better after that.
You don't eat the first one.
It's your first time, baby,
do whatever you like.
Will you come with me?
-Wax?
-Yes.
It's a lot of work!
-This is just the beginning.
-It's all about logistics.
Dating apps help us
forget just how lonely we are.
But isn't the real journey
about discovering ourselves?
Come, I have a nice carrot for you.
FLASHBACK OUTSIDE DAY
Come here.
BOARDING SCHOOL 1978 - COUNTRYSIDE
Is it good?
-Lisa?
-What?
Come, it's your mother.
Mom!
Mom!
-Where is she?
-What are you doing with a carrot?
On TV, did you think
she was here in person?
Look there, on TV.
Not so close,
it's bad for your eyes. Sit here.
Fluffy?
Fluffy?
Fluffy?
-Eat.
-No.
You won't leave this table
until you finish.
Wait, oh my...
This?
But when was the last time
you saw someone's ass?
That's a good point.
And what an ass!
These apps aren't for me.
Of course, they are,
I've never seen anyone so popular online.
No, I gave some guy
an injection in the ass.
Honestly, it's like she's possessed,
she scares me.
These are my little friends from AA,
aren't they sweet?
I'm sure they'd fuck us for a martini.
-You're a monster!
-It's just the way it is.
Your next match is going to be awesome!
In France, this is what perverts do
outside a girls' school.
Trust me, I know about girls' schools.
But in LA, it's just a latte artist
whipping up some matcha tea.
Thanks, baby.
-I increased your range of matches.
-Yeah?
I just tweaked your age.
Older?
No, younger, they all have
mommy issues around here.
-Can I see?
-Yeah.
I can't focus my eyes.
So?
-Yes, much younger.
-But you like him?
-He looks intelligent.
-Bright eyes.
-There's something about him.
-Looks promising.
It'd be easier
if they had designated meeting points.
I can't see anything.
I won't be able to recognize him.
Let me see again?
But he's really hot,
honestly, I'd fuck him.
He's young though.
-Would you prefer his grandfather?
-Well, if I had to choose...
-It's fine, he's an adult.
-And cute.
If you're nervous, you can always try
dry humping, they love that here.
"Dry" what?
Making love with your clothes on,
Marie-Antoinette came up with the idea.
What's the point of that?
It's just to get acquainted
and gauge what he's got in his pants
without seeming like a slut
on the first date.
I don't do that on the first date.
-Yes, Mother Teresa.
-What?
-Heterosexuals are such hypocrites!
-I need romance, I don't know...
I have to go, we'll chat tomorrow.
No, you can't leave!
-What?
-I can't stay here alone.
But it's a date,
not some party with friends!
Anyway, he's late.
-You're not staying?
-I'm coming with you.
This really sucks!
So French, come on, let's go.
-You don't have it? Look again.
-I can't...
See? You can't find your ticket,
that's a sign!
You have to wait.
-No, I'm feeling a little tipsy.
-You look so sexy.
Wait, what's this?
It's him, "I'm at the bar."
See?
I told you he'd come.
He didn't see me,
maybe he's as blind as I am.
-Relax, listen to me.
-Okay.
Be a bad girl, be assertive.
You're strong, okay? Go for it!
Go on, work it!
Go on, arch your back!
-To you!
-Cheers!
Cheers! Very nice to meet you.
Absolutely, yeah.
My ass.
My ass?
It doesn't matter.
I love shopping with you,
it's as if we were married.
I love it, I love it all!
You know what?
I always thought I had to be in love
to sleep with someone,
but that's not true at all.
It's great to be a stranger,
to sleep with a stranger.
I was really present in the moment.
Good for you! I'm happy for you.
It's just another form of spirituality.
It's physical, as well,
we did it three times.
-Three times?
-Yes.
Is he fresh out of prison?
Well, madame,
I guess you don't need
any coaching from me!
No, I'm interested.
Okay, after lovemaking,
you ask him questions,
show him you're deeply interested,
after 20 minutes of bullshit talk,
you strike sexy hot poses
like Bardot in Contempt, like this,
you casually moisten your lip.
Remember that, it's really important.
Let him initiate the second time.
Let him come, pretend you're an insect
and let the spider do his thing.
I didn't have to this time,
he stayed all night.
-I hate you.
-It can't be this simple!
It's fantastic!
Don't get overly excited.
It's beginner's luck,
have you heard of that?
It means you had some luck too,
but you didn't capitalize on it.
No, how can you build on something
when the guy's still in bed with you
texting his next date?
The guys I like
never feel the same about me.
I ghost the guys who like me.
You don't have to be so dismissive.
That's how it is.
Life kills, come on,
it's my only pleasure.
I used to be like you, I was full of hope,
I wanted a family, pancakes breakfasts,
kids, a dog, the whole package.
But all I have is
my left hand for company.
See those two dads
with the baby over there?
I slept with one of them.
-No.
-Yes, last week.
-Daddy or Daddoo?
-Red t-shirt.
-Aren't you going to say hi?
-No.
Doesn't it make you sad?
Yes, of course.
Should I talk to him?
And say what? You slept with my friend?
You're married, stop sleeping around
or I'll rat you out?
Who does he think he is?
He can't even say hi.
You know the worst part?
-Herpes.
-No.
You have the best time
with a guy you just met.
The next day, naturally,
you're interested,
so, you check to see if he's online,
and there he is, and so are you.
That's the game, it's back to square one.
It's awful!
It's true, it's like a vicious cycle.
Thanks for pulling me
into your twisted circle.
-Isn't this nice?
-Amazing.
Why do you want to go home
for the holidays?
We're going to celebrate
Christmas together one last time,
at Mom's place.
You'll be back soon, right?
Yeah.
No, you're great! Magnificent!
I'm so proud of you.
It's beautiful to see.
Do you realize how far you've come?
Now, you're the boss! This is your club!
Too bad you'll miss the Christmas show.
I'll be back for the next one.
I promise.
I would've given anything
for a goodnight kiss with red lipstick.
FLASHBACK INSIDE NIGH PARIS 1978 - MOM'S PLACE
Take those shoes off!
Take them off!
You always do that,
I hate putting on warm shoes.
-Do you mind if I take these?
-No.
They're not too high for you?
Yes, but...
-This vest is gorgeous.
-It's yours.
I don't want too many of her things,
too many reminders.
-I know.
-Yeah.
Pretty.
This isn't bad.
Can I tell you a secret?
I love secrets!
-I met a man.
-You have a boyfriend?
Actually, I have a few.
-You?
-Yes, I swear, I don't...
Since she died,
I've been feeling really horny.
That's crazy! I'm exactly the same.
No, but I even signed up to dating apps.
Me too!
No!
-Incredible!
-That's incredible!
My sister!
I love you.
You're beautiful.
Am I crazy?
Of course not!
You're alive!
-Do you want this?
-No, not that.
One... seven... ten, eleven.
-Remember that FaceTime call with Mom?
-Yes.
She said, she couldn't care less
if you loved her?
That's not easy to forget.
She was talking to me.
I was trying to position the phone.
It haunted her
to think she said "I couldn't care less"
after you said you loved her.
You told her you loved her?
Well, yes.
-Is that how you felt?
-I think so.
Honestly, I was never really sure.
I don't know if it's a sign,
but Christmas is nicer without her.
-Don't you feel guilty at all?
-No, it's fine.
-Then we agree.
-About what?
Nothing, stop being nosy.
Mom, you can't stop talking
as you enter the room. Tell me.
Well,
Julien, Charlotte and I feel like
a burden's been lifted
since Mom died.
Obviously, she was so mean to you.
-You felt it too?
-Absolutely!
Will you be sad when I die?
-Let's not discuss death, it's Christmas.
-Whose death?
-Mom's death.
-No...
We were just talking.
It's okay to be sad, Mom.
-It's normal.
-My little baby.
Actually, we're not very sad.
You're horrible!
I got some lipstick on you.
Go on.
-This is what you got me?
-No, but...
It's complicated.
It's very nice,
such a great design, so cute.
Look, we have the same candy cane.
Look at your uncle.
Stunning, I don't know how to thank you.
I must admit, the lights are impressive.
-I love it.
-It looks good.
-It's understated.
-You really...
-Who is it?
-Well?
-What does that mean?
-It means, "Shut up,"
it's a man.
You're spoiled rotten!
Who was that?
-No one.
-Yeah right, you're blushing! Some man?
Who is it? Where did you meet him?
His name is John.
-John! I'm so happy, are you in love?
-How old is he?
Too many questions!
I'm so happy for you!
-John!
-Are you in love?
We just met.
How?
Over there.
-How old is he?
-He's 56.
Not bad.
That's enough questions!
All right.
It's good, it's what I need right now.
Is he from there?
-What do you think?
-Yes.
-What's that? Thanks.
-It's a little birthday gift from Mom.
She said, "I'll no longer be here,
"but I'd still like
to give her something."
You can't open it before the day.
Shit!
I might miss her after all.
-Get your glass, Mom.
-Okay.
Let's do another toast.
My darlings.
To you, my children.
To Grandma!
Merry Christmas, darling!
Let me introduce you to Alfred 2.
He needs love, he was abandoned too,
just like all of us.
When you look in the mirror,
all you see is you.
But if you look at yourself
in a disco ball,
you'll see a million versions of yourself.
Everything I know about quantum physics,
I learned from disco.
My father taught me life was a dance
to forget your fear of darkness,
until the light goes out.
-What happened?
-A stupid valet wrecked my car!
I'm so fucking upset, it's a mess.
Am I stuck driving this garbage now?
-I hope he was cute.
-Who?
-The valet.
-I don't want anything to do with him.
This has been the worst day, get in.
-Sweetie.
-What?
You're leaking.
Shit!
-It'll be fine.
-This is my mother's fault.
-You think so?
-She called me,
-"Your car's amazing!"
-Let's just go.
-I swear, I'm cursed.
-Come on, let's go.
Hello, anyway.
How's Alfred 2?
Didn't I tell you? I found Alfred 1,
he was under my bed.
I've always been frightened of reunions.
Hopes are often dashed.
Mom!
And love is rarely in the mix.
Mom!
Hello, sweetheart, how are you?
-Very well.
-Yes?
You've grown!
-Hello.
-Hi.
Did you pack your bag?
Yes!
All her things are ready to go.
-Yes.
-You've really grown!
What does that mean?
I can't believe this. I'm so stupid.
For my mother, the end of a relationship
was like the end of the world.
Mom, what's wrong?
Mom?
What is it?
Pierre left me.
Come here.
Never trust a man, do you understand?
Never, when you love them, they leave you.
Don't ever forget that, all right?
Now, let me sleep.
She and I aren't so different, after all.
-Hello?
-Hello?
I miss you.
I don't have time now.
I just wanted to tell you,
I'm moving in with Dad.
Fine, stay there, and never call me again!
-Like an idiot, I just let him go.
-Things will work out.
He'll never call me again, he was furious.
Put your ego aside and call him then.
I tried, he's not responding to my text.
Are you in love with him?
It's unexpected, but yes, maybe a little.
Give it a week,
things will work out, I can feel it.
Didn't you say,
dating apps never lead to love?
You only remember negative comments.
I was speaking for myself,
there's still hope for you.
It's like if I had to carry you.
That's a real mother.
My mother would drag me up the stairs,
she never carried me,
not even when I was a baby.
Don't leave me.
Why did you walk away?
He's so handsome!
And you were so rude.
Best view in the world, isn't it?
Breathtaking!
-Baby?
-Yes?
What were the odds
of bumping into the valet?
It's crazy.
-You agree?
-Yes, it's a sign.
He wants to see me again,
he suggested we go out for a drink.
Awesome! What did you tell him?
I don't know, you know me.
I get an eggplant emoji,
I text out a cucumber,
we get together to make salad,
we fuck, and then he leaves.
I'm not used to real life situations.
You have to get away from
those stupid apps
and get back to real people,
real experiences.
Let him see those beautiful eyes.
-It's true, my eyes are beautiful.
-Yes, on the phone display...
-I hope you two go out.
-We'll see.
You need to get back to apps,
and put aside your French way of thinking.
There are no subtleties in LA,
you need to go after what you want.
But I found a great guy.
John!
Anything is possible here.
Look at Melania Trump,
she could've ended up
selling fruit somewhere, she had nothing
and she became first lady.
Well, that's great.
-Completely naked?
-Yes, he's a nudist.
He wants to have a drink with me, naked.
It's kind of like
The Silence of the Lambs,
he wants my skin to make a coat!
No, I'm going to cancel.
Don't cancel! Most nudists are vegans,
they wouldn't hurt a fly, much less you.
It'll help you forget John.
I'm not so sure of that.
And nudists are very spiritual,
they have great energy.
How do you know?
My aunt was a nudist.
I never heard of any nudist pedophiles.
So?
Only people who wear clothes hurt others,
not nudists.
Here, take one gummy before your date,
it'll relax you.
-I love candies.
-No, they're full of THC, take just one.
-Are you sure I should go?
-What's the worst scenario?
-It'll be material for your next movie.
-You're right.
-Hi.
-Hi.
Hi, baby!
I'm outside the nudist's place,
you know, the Swedish guy?
I took three gummies,
I'm completely out of it.
Three? Are you crazy?
What am I doing here?
Seriously? What do you mean?
You're meeting another man to forget John.
That's how it works.
And you know the safe word.
I shouldn't have had those gummies,
I'm hot, I have a headache,
my head is spinning,
I'm sweating, it's awful.
-Why are you on the phone?
-Don't worry, you'll be naked soon.
The magic word is,
"Do you have some water?" Say it.
That's it. Anyway, I'll call you every
10 minutes, to make sure you're safe.
-Come on.
-Okay.
-I'm horny.
-Sure, okay.
-I'll call every 10 minutes, bye.
-Bye.
Come on.
-Yes.
-Is everything okay?
-Do you have water?
-You want me to rescue you?
I don't understand.
Is he well hung or what?
I'm fine. Can you call me later?
I'm out on a date.
-Everything okay?
-Yes, just call me back.
In America, they want to know where
you're born, but also where you're raised.
My mother gave birth to me,
but I raised myself.
Every day is a new dawn for rebirth
in anguish
or peaceful solace.
-Happy birthday, Mom!
-My angels!
-Happy birthday, Mom!
-Hello!
I miss you.
How are you? Not feeling too old?
Not too lonely?
I'm all right.
Is there someone in your bed?
He better treat you like a princess.
You hear me, Mr. American?
Did you hear my daughter?
Wait, "You hear me, Mr. American?"
Here's Mr. American, my pillow.
All alone.
So sweet!
The sheets aren't even messed up.
If you're lonely, you can come home.
We really miss you.
I miss you too, and your grandmother.
She always called on my birthday.
Did you open her present?
Shit, not yet!
I'll call you back!
"My Lisa,
"I know,
I wasn't always the perfect mother.
"So I'd like to make it up to you now.
"You've always liked this bracelet,
so, please,
"accept it as a token
of our new relationship.
"I'm also leaving you my red lipstick.
"Think of it as the last kiss
"I was unable to give you.
"Mom."
We leave our mother's body twice in life,
when we're born and when she dies.
So?
Wow! Amazing! There's no way
he can resist you looking like that.
Thanks.
Are you happy?
-I'm a little apprehensive.
-You shouldn't be.
If you saw yourself through my eyes,
you wouldn't be scared.
Are you okay?
Yeah.
Don't look at me like that.
-What's wrong with me?
-Nothing.
You're awesome.
Why isn't it working then?
Why is it, every time I meet someone
either I screw everything up
or he disappears.
You know?
You're a little like the two Alfreds.
You carry a big shell
to protect yourself from the time
your mother hurt you.
It's just that...
I'm just scared to let people see me
for who I really am.
Wait.
-Mary Poppins and her bag.
-You'll see.
This
changed my life.
And it'll change yours.
My gift to you.
Thanks for always being there for me.
-You're so handsome.
-I know.
-There you go.
-I know.
There's no point in listening
to a gay man cry. Go on,
you'll be late.
No codes tonight, no messages.
-I love you.
-Did you bring any condoms?
Of course, you never know!
Oh, wow!
-It's beautiful!
-Isn't it amazing?
My dear Luka, there's a better alternative
to the insect and spider scenario.
And that's when someone falls asleep
in your arms
and chooses to spend
the entire night, the entire week,
and the entire month with you.
There's one thing I've learned,
forgiveness doesn't heal the past,
it transforms it.
We can live without riches
Almost without a penny to our name
There arent many lords
And princesses, nowadays
But to live without tenderness
Would be impossible
No, no, no, no
We couldn't possibly live without it
We can live without glory
It doesnt prove anything
Even if we don't make history
We could live quite happily
But we cant live without tenderness
Thats out of the question
No, no, no, no
Thats absolutely out of the question
It's a sweet weakness
This lovely feeling
This need for affection
Were all born with it, it's true
In the fiery passions of youth
We discover pleasures
And love dazzles us
With overwhelming desires
But without tenderness
Love would be empty
No, no, no, no
Love would be meaningless
When you make a child happy
And they give you a kiss
All our sadness fades away
It brings tears to our eyes
Oh my God, my God
God, in Your great wisdom
And intense fervor
Send raindrops of goodness
Down deep into our hearts
Send torrents of tenderness
So that love may reign there
May love reign in our hearts
Until we take our dying breath