I Love Trouble (1994) Movie Script

Come on, Hallie.
Wait up!
I'm Catching up.
The Lord is my shepherd.
I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down
in green pastures.
He leadeth me beside
the still waters.
He restoreth my soul.
Yea, though I walk through
the valley of the shadow of death...
I will fear no evil,
for Thou art with me.
Thy rod and Thy staff,
they comfort me.
My cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall
follow me all the days of my life...
and I shall dwell in the house
of the Lord forever.
May I have your attention,
Midrail announces the boarding
of train 417, the Wisconsin Badger...
scheduled to depart
at 5.'45...
now receiving passengers
on Track S.
Isn't she beautiful, huh?
Nice camera work, Dad.
Don't call us.
They said the kids are going to fill up
this car, but the last one is still empty.
Thank you.
- Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad.
- Bye. Bye now.
Thanks for the ride.
I can't tell you how much
I enjoyed meeting you.
The pleasure was all mine.
You never did autograph
your book.
Take care.
- Hey, Peter, how's it goin"?
- Hey!
He's here.
Gotta go.
- Hi, Peter.
- Hello.
Hey, Brackett!
- Hey, Peter.
- Hello.
- Hey, stranger!
- Hey, Jay.
- He was due here a half hour ago.
- Oh, no!
I'm sure he'll be here any minute.
Please, be patient.
- Damn!
- He'll be here. Wait, wait.
Peter Brackett's office.
Who are all those people
in Peter Brackett's office?
I can't wait around
all morning.
Your publicist. A guy with a gripe
from Alderman Cvack's office.
A jockey.
You're buying a race horse?
Do you know that your column's
due in nine minutes?
- This could be a record, even for you.
- I know, I know. Just tell...
- I want to talk to him. Give me the phone.
- Just tell the jockey that I'm gonna talk...
Peter, it's me. Listen, honey. I can't keep
setting up these prestigious book signings...
if you're gonna disappear
five minutes into the affair.
And who'd you disappear with, anyway? The
blonde with the legs up the kazoo or the...
Lindy, just give me a little credit. I got
food poisoning from the hors d'oeuvres.
- I'm in bed. I can barely speak.
- Mm-hmm.
Brackett, you're killing me.
It's written.
I swear you'll have it in three minutes.
You tell him we're gonna stop by later,
all right? Can you believe this guy?
Brilliant, charming,
Shopping Center Shootout
Leaves One Teen Dead.
- Jeannie, didn't I once do a column about...
- July '85.
Scroll that.
Let's get down to
Johnny Got A Gun.
Okay, Johnny Got A Gun.
This works, this works.
Just brilliant. You're brilliant,
Brackett. Just brilliant.
Matt, we got a bullet.
- Where's Shapiro? Shapiro!
- She left.
- Where's Knobloch?
- Covering a fire in Winnetka.
Another minute, you would've missed
the syndicate. Where's Jake?
Went home with a 103 fever,
Mr. Greenfield.
- Suzie!
- Right here.
Get me Varney at home, or Kovler.
He lives out that way.
I'm going to a dinner party.
Do you have the address?
Right here. Cocktails at 7:00. Dinner
at 8:00. Also don't forget tomorrow.
Good Day, Chicago. You're the
first guest, so don't be late.
Varney's wife is having a baby.
Kovler is not home, and Jake's temperature's up to 104.
Don't give me that hound dog look.
I don't cover the beat anymore.
And I don't print
recycled columns.
I can't believe what I'm hearing.
Now, are you actually accusing me...
- of plagiarizing myself?
- Suzie!
Pull up Brackett's columns
from the mid-'80s.
Something with gun
in the title.
Guns Cf Something.
Gun Shy. Son Of A Gun.
Johnny Got A Gun. That's it.
Uh-huh. I'm right. He knows it.
Who's that with the groom?
Is that Peter Brackett?
Oh, man. What's goin' on here?
He's the last person
we need talkin' to our only eyewitness.
- I don't know how Brackett got to him, sir.
- All right.
- Let's just pull the kid outta there, please.
- Okay.
Then what happened
after everything jolted?
I was knocked down and...
when I got up, Amy's car
was loose. It was...
- Who's Peter Brackett got?
- It was like it was flyin'.
- It was just gone.
- Let's get you outta here, kid.
- Okay, Brackett.
- Better put this kid on ice
if you want him in one piece.
All right, that's it, folks.
Give us some room.
If we could just have
a full name, sir.
Anything that we can start?
We need some details here, if we could.
Andy, Andy. Who's that?
- What, at the police car?
- Yeah.
You're the third guy
to ask me about her. Uh...
I've never seen her before, but I hear
she's working for the Globe.
Come on, come on!
Grab the Walkie-talkie.
Let's go!
Ladies and gentlemen,
at the present time...
we're attempting to piece
together the chain of events...
that led to the derailment
of Midrail's 417.
From what we've been able to ascertain,
the last car uncoupled at 5:59 p.m.
It traveled down this incline
where it overturned.
There are five
known fatalities.
They're not gonna
tell you that.
Excuse me?
Your question. Don't ask it. They're not
gonna tell you who serviced the train.
- These cars are inspected on a daily basis.
- Really? Why is that?
Because they want to talk to him
before you do!
- It can't hurt to ask.
- No, no, no, no.
It always hurts to ask questions
you know will piss 'em off.
- Uh, yes, yes. The lady in the back.
- Sabrina Peterson from the Globe.
Do you have the name of the individual
who last serviced the train?
That information is not
available at this time.
- Then could you tell us...
- Yes, Cynthia.
First day on the job?
- No, it's not my first day on the job.
- Huh? Second?
Look, all I'm tryin' to say is that
if you'd been in town any longer...
I'm sure we would've met.
And had I seen you,
we would've.
My name's Brackett. I work for the
Chronicle. Where're you from, Peterson?
Look, I realize every
cub reporter in a skirt...
must go ga-ga at the great
Peter Brackett approaching them...
but I can't believe you're trying to hit
on me while I'm covering a story.
So let me set you straight. You have zero
chance of scoring here. Trust me. Move on.
I'm sorry. Where'd you say
you're from? Bitchville?
All right,
last question, please.
Yes, was there a data recorder
on the train? And if so...
when will that tape
be made available?
Hang in there, Peterson.
Yes, there is a data recorder
on the train.
Now, when it's gonna be available,
I can't say.
How long before
the line will be open?
Our inspectors are here now.
We'll have that for you shortly.
- Found him.
- All right, thank you, folks.
That's it. Thank you.
- Ray Boggs?
- Uh, yes, sir.
Uh, let's talk about what happened
tonight, Ray. Is this your wife?
Uh, yes, yes. Yes it is.
Well, uh, would you mind waiting here,
Mrs. Boggs?
- We won't be long.
- Sure, I'll wait.
Thank you.
Sorry to bother you,
but I think I've got a scoop.
Hey, bother me!
I can use it.
Come in. Tell me
what have you got?
A name. Ray Boggs.
Midrail didn't want to say who was
responsible for checking the coupling...
so I followed a couple of
Midrail guys back to the office.
And there he was, Mr. Coupling himself,
waiting in the parking lot.
They whisked him upstairs, but they
left his wife there for the taking.
She told me her husband's name,
but then she clammed up on me.
There was something about the way
she clammed up
made me think
she had something more to say.
By the way, Peter Brackett
was out there tonight.
- You're kidding!
- Don't you worry.
I own this story. Besides,
e little competition's healthy.
Peter Brackett
is not competition.
No, I was talking about me.
The young groom returned to the last oar
of train 417 with champagne in hand...
and saw his bride
for the last time. Period.
Now quote: Amy's car was loose.
Period. It was like flyin'.
Apostrophe after the Comma.
And then it was just gone.
Period. End quote. End story.
Huh? Yeah, I know it's thin, but Midrail
isn't talkin', so everyone's screwed.
Yes! Everyone!
Yes, I'm sure.
Jesus! Now I remember
why I became a columnist.
Trust me. No one's gonna get anything else
because there's nothin' else to get.
Mrs. Boggs, this is Sabrina
Peterson with the Chicago Globe.
I'm sorry to call you so late,
but I was wondering if, by any chance...
you're related to the Ray Boggs
that works for Midrail.
- What's Midrail?
- The railroad.
Come on, Ray, you've gotta be
related to somebody in this town.
- Hello?
- Mr. Boggs, good evening, sir.
This is Sabrina Peterson
with the Chicago Globe.
- We already subscribe.
- Okay.
- Hello?
- Mrs. Boggs, this is Sabrina Peterson...
with the Chicago Globe.
- Yes?
- Mrs. Boggs, yes, I think we got out off.
How are you tonight?
What do you want?
I was wondering if you're
by any chance related
to the Ray Boggs that works for Midrail.
- I'm his mother.
- And, uh, yes, that's what I thought.
And I wanted to know, uh, if you knew
about the train crash tonight.
I saw it on the news.
I called Ray right away.
You did. And, uh,
why is that, Mrs. Boggs?
- Well, 'cause of his, um...
- 'Cause of his what, Mrs. Boggs?
And we're back on Good Day, Chicago,
joined today by Peter Brackett...
famous columnist for
the Chicago Chronicle.
Peter's written his very first novel.
it's called White Lies,
and he's here to talk about it.
- Peter, first of ell...
- Yes?
I want to tell you that I could not put
your book down last night.
I have to ask you,
are you Ned Grayson?
Who's Ned Grayson?
- The main character, the detective!
- The detective, Ned Grayson.
Well, I would like to be Ned,
but I tell you...
Thank you.
Nice interview.
- ...how did you find time to write a novel?
- Well, uh...
- Globe, please.
- I'll take a Globe.
A Globe.
- I'll take a Globe.
- Could I have a Globe?
- A Globe, please.
- You got any Globes left?
Hey, Cindy.
No one's gonna get anything else
because there's nothin' else to get.
Guess what? Now I know why
I made you a columnist.
She's an overzealous cub reporter,
second day on the job.
You and I both know I could
scoop her any day of the week.
Yeah? So do it. Tomorrow.
Evans, dig up everything you can
on this Boggs character.
See if he has any friends,
enemies, ex-wives, ex-lovers.
See if he's ever been fired, sued, done time,
owes money, goes to church, pays his bills.
Jeannie, get your head
out of that thing.
Give me the chief of police,
the head of Midrail and the D.A. Sully!
Go down to the train station, nose
around. See if anything smells fishy.
Save me eight inches above the fold.
This will not happen again.
What do you mean
it happened again?
- Mr. Brackett? Uh, Mr. Brackett?
- Huh?
- These just came for you.
- Oh, thank you.
I'll tell you we found the coupling
was not defective, all right?
Yeah, but what about the...
- Sabrina Peterson?
- Yeah.
Delivery from Peter Brackett.
Hey, hey,
don't kill the messenger.
- Hi, Peter.
- I was coming back for more.
- Oh, are you?
- Hi.
- Back on the front page!
- Hi!
Pete, it's good
to see you, buddy.
I'm dyin' to read your book, man.
When's it comin' out on tape?
- I gotta get a drink.
- Where'd you disappear to, Smotherman?
I called your office a few months ago,
and they acted like you had the plague.
I know. I'm persona non grate. Didn't you
hear, man? I'm working for the enemy now.
- Don't tell me a Democrat?
- A Democrat and a woman!
- Gayle Robbins. Do you know her?
- Oh, I know the name.
She's a state senator from Wisconsin.
Actually, she's a terrific lady.
She's super bright.
And you know me. I go where duty Calls.
Plus she doubled my salary.
So, Pete, I'm in your book,
right? Come on.
Handsome senator's aide who slips
reporter names of corrupt lobbyists?
- I'm colorful. I'm bigger than life!
- No, Sam, somehow I left you out.
But I'm seriously considering
you for the sequel.
Sure you are. Oh, oh, what is
the story on this train wreck, Peter?
What do you hear? I mean, Midrail
got their ass in a sling, or what?
- Hey, what I hear, you read.
- Mm-hmm.
Speaking of duty calling.
My beautiful date Nadia has returned.
Nadia, old pal of mine,
Peter Brackett.
Actually, Nadia and I have met.
- Once.
- Well, you won't meet again.
Adis, pal.
Keep in touch.
Stoli. Straight up.
- Champagne.
- Thank you.
Hello, Peterson.
Hello, Brackett.
Giving the front page
the night off?
Oh, I put my story to bed
hours ago. How about you?
The press is rolling
as we speak.
- I look forward to reading it.
- You read the Chronicle?
Well, I thought someone
in town still should.
You know, I've been reading
you, too, Peterson.
Zoo Transfers Feisty Gorilla
by Sabrina J. Peterson.
You were using
your middle initial back then.
I take it as a compliment
that a man of your stature
takes time to research my early work.
Well, your early work
is very entertaining.
I mean, I especially like
the story you did...
blowing the lid off
the Pillsbury Bake-off contest.
You know, entering under a fake name
and baking a pie
without using one Pillsbury product?
- And winning. Let's not forget that.
- Yeah, it's very impressive.
But my favorite is when you went
undercover as a hooker.
Now, I'd have paid to see that one.
I bet you would have.
Oh, by the way...
I never did thank you for the mutt.
He's been quite an addition to my life.
Oh, you're very welcome.
I hope you named him after me.
I certainly did. Yeah, I've grown
real attached to Little Dick.
You know, there's something
about you, Peterson.
- Irritating, aren't I?
- The truth is, you make me itch.
Well, I suggest you get yourself
some calamine lotion...
because I'm loving this town,
and I'm here to stay.
Stop the presses! I got a bulletin.
What? The coppers
are actually offering news?
Guess who just showed up at the station
with a duffel bag and a statement?
- Ray Boggs.
- What'd he say?
I'm innocent. He said the liquor
they found in his locker was e plant.
Insisted on a polygraph.
Passed with flyin' colors.
Macy's meets Gimbel's.
Love this!
Oh, sorry, kids. Just, uh, shake hands,
say sex, I'm outta your hair.
- Sex.
- Sex.
So, um, what does it all mean?
Does it mean the crash
wasn't caused by human error?
It means this poor schnook Boggs
could actually be innocent.
Well, what are you saying?
You think we're about to lynch a guy
for something he never did?
Worse! We could be
on the wrong story.
- Then you better get on the right story.
- Uh-oh.
- Sabrina?
- I gotta go.
I'll call you when I get something.
- You see anything suspicious in there?
- I didn't see a thing suspicious.
- Not a thing?
- No, it was a normal run.
Well, really think about the day. I mean,
was there an unusual amount of people?
I don't know.
So, nobody could have serviced
the train after Ray Boggs?
No, not that afternoon.
I open up every day
at 7:00.
Did you see anyone that day that
struck you as suspicious or unusual?
Did you overhear
any conversation?
So, tell me, what's she got?
Aw, she's got the same thing
as you, boss. A big nothing.
Hi, okay, I've got
good news and bad news.
The good news is one of the passengers
remembered seeing the groom's dad...
taking a video of the bride
and groom boarding the train.
So I called him, and I can pick
up the tape anytime after 6:00.
What's the bad news?
Sabrina Peterson has an appointment
to see the groom right after lunch.
He'll probably tell her about the video,
and knowing her,
she could get to it before we do.
She trained you well.
Hey, Lonnie, How ya doin'?
What are you doin' here?
A girl's gotta eat.
What are you doin' here?
Oh, I was in the neighborhood.
I was hungry.
- This is a famous newspaper haunt.
- So I've heard.
Yeah, Ben Hecht used
to eat here back in the '20s.
They have a little plaque with his name on
it in the back booth right next to mine.
- What'll you have, Pete?
- I'll have a, uh- What's that you're eating?
That looks great.
Club sandwich on whole wheat.
No bacon, no mayo.
I'll have the same on white,
extra bacon, extra mayo.
- Mm-hmm.
- And a Coke.
You got a lot of notes there,
Peterson. You on to something?
You wanna know what I have?
It's gonna cost you 35 cents.
- Do you have change? I gotta make a call.
- Oh, sure.
- Tricky!
- Mm-hmm.
Save my seat.
Nothing personal.
- Long line.
- Mmm.
So long, Brackett.
See ya in the funny papers.
Bon voyage.
Poplar Grove.
Poplar Grove.
Where is it?
Oy, it's far.
He sent me on
a wild-goose chase.
- Lindy, I will not be late.
- You don't understand.
No, I do!
I want the book to sell.
I promise I'll be the first to arrive, the last to leave.
I'll see you in ten minutes.
- In five.
- Fine, five.
- isn't she beautiful, huh?
- Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad.
Thank you so much.
Nice camera work, Dad.
Bye, Mom.
So long, sweetie.
Don't call us.
- Good-bye.
- Bye-bye!
- Yep.
- ls this Miss Peterson from the Globe?
Uh, yes, it is.
What can I do for you?
My name 's Danny Brown, and me and my
friends, we lifted some stuff at the crash.
- The train crash?
- Yeah. I found something in this briefcase.
I don't know exactly what it is,
but I think it looks important.
And my friend says that you guys
pay for information like this.
Where can I meet you?
Nice camera work.
Nice camera work.
Nice camera work, Dad.
Nice camera work, Dad.
- Nice camera work, Dad. Bye, Mom.
- So long, sweetie.
So nobody could have serviced
the train after Ray Boggs?
No, not that afternoon.
The guy who comes in after Boggs
was put on a brake job on Track 9.
I didn't have anybody workin' on that track
'til 7:00, 7:15. That I can promise you.
Danny, are you here?
Danny, are you here?
We must engage and rearrange
And turn this planet back to one
So tell me why we got to die
And kill each other one by one
We've got to hug and rub-a-dub
We've got to dance and be in love
But what I really want to know is
Oh, jeez.
How'd she do that?
Mrs. Beekman? Peter Brackett from the
Chronicle. Thanks for getting back to me.
Uh, Mr. Brackett,
this turns out to be a bad time.
Well, look, I have just
e few quick questions.
If you could tell me why
your husband was on the train...
Look, my children are home.
I can't talk right now.
Um, look, I have to work tonight. Can
you meet me at my office around 9:00?
Sure, sure.
Around 9:O()'?
Mm-hmm. Um,
it's at 6395 Walton.
- 6395 Walton.
- Yeah. Suite 1264.
- Sixty-five?
- No, 64.
- Sixty-four.
- it's safe there.
Uh, are you all right?
Okay, so you've been to the
relatives of all the victims.
I've been to everybody
but the science teacher's wife.
So far, no one had anything in
a briefcase worth getting killed over.
Actually, so far,
no one even had a briefcase.
- That's healthy.
- Mmm, thanks.
The only good news is I finally have
a lead that Brackett doesn't have.
Oh, man. I am haunted
by the image of that kid.
Sabrina, there's a Delores Beekman on your line.
Says she'll see you in an hour.
Great! Don't lose her.
The science teacher's wife.
Oh, be careful.
There's a quarter in your sandwich.
Goin' up?
- Mm-hmm.
- All right.
- What does this mean?
- it's probably just the wind.
- Oh! Excuse me.
- Sorry.
- I was looking for the phone.
- it's not under my blouse.
- I just realized that.
- Mm-hmm.
I suggest we get out of here
as fast as we can.
- Why?
- Women's intuition.
Peterson, tell me if you think
we're in some kind of trouble here.
Brackett, I think we're in
some kind of trouble here.
What kind of trouble
are we in here, Peterson?
Oh, man!
I can't get it open.
- Think that's about it, trouble-wise?
- I guess not.
You know, Peterson, if I knew what
you knew, and you knew what I knew...
we just might be able
to live through this story.
Mrs. Beekman?
Mrs. Beekman?
Looks like the Widow Beekman
left in a hurry.
What's that?
Wait a minute.
- I'll go check out the other room.
- Okay.
Can you meet me at my office around
9:00'? it's safe there. it's safe there.
It's safe there.
it's safe there.
- You find anything?
- Not a thing. You?
Listen, um...
I know I shouldn't be
telling you this, but, uh...
I think I'm just gonna
bail out of this story.
That doesn't sound like you.
Well, neither does leaping off
elevators and dodging bullets.
Look, I, I love my work, and this
is definitely a very sexy story, but...
I guess I'm just not out out for
this lethal weapon stuff, you know?
I love out-scooping you,
I have to admit, but...
I've got my whole life
in front of me, and...
to tell you the truth, this
whole thing just got too much.
It's too dangerous.
I'm, I'm scared.
You know, Peterson, I'm supposed
to be on my book tour right now.
Getting my head blown off wasn't
exactly on my agenda, either.
I'll make ya a deal.
If you quit this story,
so will I.
You don't have to say that
just to make me feel better.
I'm not sayin' it to make you feel better.
I'm sayin' it to make me feel better.
I mean, you were really puttin'
the pressure on, you know?
Your face on trucks
all over the city.
That wild-goose chase.
- I'm sorry about that.
- No, it was very inventive.
I fell for it.
I deserved it.
Yeah, that was a good one.
I gotta thank you, Peterson.
Because of you, I remembered
how much I love newspapering.
Hey, you're a legend.
It's amazing just being in
the same arena with you, really.
- You gonna be okay?
- Yeah.
I'm always okay.
- So long.
- Take care.
Where can I catch
the 7:15 to Spring Creek?
- Four-B.
- Thank you.
Excuse me.
I think you're in my seat.
Sorry, pal. Too early
in the morning, I guess.
- Morning paper?
- I'll take the Globe.
I'll take the Chronicle.
I'll be right back with complimentary
orange juice and champagne.
- I'll just have the orange juice.
- I'll just have the champagne.
That was quite a performance
you gave last night.
- You weren't bad yourself.
- But the tears!
Brilliant, really.
Academy Award caliber.
Thank you.
I try.
By the way, our friend last night was
a pro recruited out of South America.
How do you know?
I have friends in low places.
As I said, Peterson...
if I tell you what I know,
and you tell me what you know...
Look, Brackett, it's not my job
to tell you anything.
I'm your competition,
not your girl Friday.
- I'm suggesting we team up.
- With each other?
Well, we'll investigate together,
but we'll write separately.
I mean, we'll be like the,
uh, Hardy Boys...
except one of us
will be a girl.
- A woman.
- Mr. Brackett?
I'm sorry to interrupt,
but, uh...
I am in the middle of your book,
and I just can't put it down.
Would you hate
autographing it for me?
No, I'd love to!
Peterson, you got a pen?
Have you read it?
Oh, I'm sure you have.
I keep meaning to,
but no, actually, I...
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
Is, uh, that in
the 312 area code?
- I may need that.
- Oh.
So, what do you think?
Are we a team?
I suppose it is
the sensible thing to do.
Well, we're gonna have to be
completely honest with each other.
- No more double-crossing.
- No more tricks.
five-oh, five-oh.
Five-oh, five-oh.
- Be right back.
- Peterson.
You have a little
orange juice mustache.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
Is this yours?
- Oh, yeah. Thanks.
- Mm-hmm.
So, Brackett, since we toasted, and now
that we're partners and everything...
I feel I should at least tell you
why I'm on the plane to Spring Creek.
I found this when we were at
the Beekman house last night.
Here's the missing story.
Darryl Beekman's father. I thought
he'd be a guy worth talking to.
He left his job at
Chess Chemical after 29 years.
Now, why would anyone leave their job
one year snort of retirement?
Gee, I don't know. I've only been
a Hardy Boy for five minutes.
That's funny, Peterson.
I'm looking for Sabrina.
Oh, she's out of town.
I'm sorry.
She's, uh, on assignment
in, uh, Wisconsin.
Spring, Spring Creek,
I think it was.
- She'll be back in a few days.
- Okay, great. Thanks a lot.
That was 24,
so Beekman's must be next.
Dr. Darryl M. Beekman,
genetic engineering pioneer...
died Tuesday in a fire
at his Spring Creek home.
A week before the train crash.
- The plot thickens.
- Ma'am, shh.
I'm sorry. Peterson,
calm down, will you please?
Sorry. Go ahead. Y-You read it
to yourself, then I'll read it.
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
- What's LDF?
- Why? You've heard of it?
No. Never.
How would I have heard of it?
While at Chess, Dr. Beekman
served as head researcher...
on the genetically engineered
hormone LDF.
I knew you were trouble
the first time I laid eyes on you.
Major league trouble,
I said to myself.
- What's happening here?
- I'm dissolving our partnership.
- Why?
- Because you just lied to me.
Now, you don't wanna tell me
about LDF, fine.
It's each man for himself.
You got it.
You're on your own.
What about Beekman's
Christmas card?
You're also a pickpocket?
Jesus, Peterson,
you're incorrigible!
Now, I was gonna tell you
about that...
but there are moments when you divulge
information in a story like this.
I was just waiting for
the proper moment, that's all.
Which is gonna be when, professor?
When you finally get me in the sack?
Oh, I got a news flash
for you, Peterson.
I have absolutely no desire to
get you in the sack whatsoever.
- Yeah, right.
- For starters, honey, you ain't my type.
Really? I didn't know
you had a type.
I do.
The opposite of you.
Tall, dark and stupid?
Peterson, good-bye.
- it's been original.
- Mmm.
You know...
You were right. I should've
told you about the Christmas card.
And maybe I overreacted to LDF.
No, I, I should've told you sooner.
it's my fault.
I accept your apology.
So, tell me now.
The boy I told you about,
the one that called me...
said he found something important
in the briefcase.
He had the letters L-D
written on his palm.
I guess he died before he could write
the I had no idea what it meant.
Girl Scout's honor.
- That's not the Girl Scout salute.
- Oh.
- Wrong hand, Peterson.
- Oh, well, okay.
So I was never a Girl Scout,
but I'm telling you the truth, Brackett.
I swear.
Okay, so tell me.
What's LDF?
LDF is a genetically engineered hormone
for dairy cows. It could be the fir...
Somebody's trying to kill us
over a cow hormone?
Could be the first commercial success
of genetic engineering...
that directly affects food
for humans.
Milk Hormone Stirs Fear."
Okay, now we're talkin'.
LDF milk tests will be reviewed by State's
Agricultural Committee Chairwoman...
Gayle Robbins.
- You wanna know about LDF?
- Yeah.
You've come to the right place.
- In English, Sam, please.
- Okay, here's the deal.
Normally it takes a calf two years to
mature into a milk-producing cow, right?
So, Chess figured, why wait
that long taking care of a calf?
It's not making you any money.
So they invent this hormone LDF. They
shoot that stuff into a newborn calf.
Nine months later, you got yourself a
full-grown, milk-producing, moneymaking...
- Franken-cow.
- That's exactly what I thought at first.
But then from what we hear the cows
are healthy, and the tests show...
I hates these tours!
And the tests show that the milk's,
uh, pure. So, there you go.
Say, what kind of profits can
Chess make on a thing like this?
This thing, my boy, could revolutionize
the entire worldwide dairy industry.
Potentially the biggest moneymaker
that a chemical company has seen...
- since NutraSweet.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- So, how much can they make?
Oh, somewhere in the neighborhood
of a billion dollars a year.
- Oh, nice neighborhood.
- Yeah. I wouldn't mind living there myself.
Oh, hi.
You got out early.
One of the advantages
of being chairperson.
You get to adjourn the meetings.
- How'd that school board thing work out?
- On, nothing to worry about.
- These are friends of mine from Chicago.
- Oh, hi. Gayle Robbins.
- Peter Brackett from the Chronicle.
- Yes.
- And this is Sabrina, uh...
- Peterson.
Of the Globe.
Yes. it's nice to meet you. Sam,
are we having a press conference?
No, no, no. They're just doing
some research on LDF, that's all.
- Really?
- Yep.
What do you think?
We were just gonna ask you that same
question, being the head of the committee.
Uh, it really doesn't behoove the Senator
to render an opinion on that matter...
- Sam!
- All right, go ahead and render.
Give me a buzz after the FDA completes
its review. We'll talk then.
- Ready, Senator?
- Sam.
I know, Pete. You got like a thousand
questions, right? Okay, okay.
Look, I got a, an hour here. Okay? What do
you say I take both of you to dinner, huh?
On the house?
Two New Yorks, rare.
And one steamed vegetable plate,
no salt, no oil, no butter.
Thank you.
So, you started to say that during
Vietnam, Chess manufactured...
Oh, you know, just things like
napalm, Agent Orange, you know?
All that wonderful stuff.
And then the war ended and
their profits really dried up.
For a while, it looked like the
company was on its last legs.
And then, along comes
the genetic revolution.
And boy, things really heated up for them.
LDF could put them right back on top.
- What's the Chess family like?
- Oh, boy.
Well, the old man's a real zealot, you know?
He's kinda like a Ross Perot wannabe.
His kid, Willy, kind of runs things now.
I don't know too much about him.
I think he went to Yale,
and then straight to work for Daddy.
- Did you know him at Yale?
- Uh-uh, uh-uh.
No, I think he's younger than me. How
did you remember that I went to Yale?
That is incredible.
You've got such an amazing memory.
I can't remember my own name.
It's possible that I met him at school, but I doubt it.
I don't even think he graduated.
What year would he have been
if he had graduated?
I don't know.
Let me think. Uh...
- What year did you graduate?
- Me? '73. No, '74.
So that would make him class of
'76, '77, something like that.
You know, Gayle's met him a few times.
He's supposed to be a nice guy.
Not exactly a rocket scientist,
but he...
What's going on here exactly, guys? I mean,
why are you so interested in LDF, huh?
Oh, Peterson here is
a big milk drinker. That's all.
Oh, well, it d...
It does a body good.
Sorry. C'mon, you're not
gonna tell me?
It's gotta be big if both the Globe and
the Chronicle are in bed together on it.
I wouldn't say we're exactly
in bed together.
Check, please.
Oh. Okay, now.
In case you have any more questions...
or if you finally decide to tell me
what you've actually got up your sleeve...
- here's my card. it's got my direct dial on it.
- Oh, thanks, Sam.
- Where are you parked?
- In the lot over there.
Oh, perfect.
We're gonna pass by...
the best frozen yogurt joint
in the entire state.
- Yeah?
- it's on Peterson.
- Look out!
- Sam!
Sam, are you okay?
What the hell
was that all about?
Medwick, it's me.
Just checking in.
Listen, I've put together a
just the facts, ma'am kind of thing...
and wanted to
run it by you, okay?
- They know you're there?
- Uh, no.
- I guess so far they don't know we're here.
- You're lucky.
Yeah, real lucky.
So, here's what we know:
Beekman was the head researcher
on LDF.
He retires mysteriously,
then dies a week later.
His son boards a train with something
in his briefcase that his dad sent him.
The train crashes, the son dies,
and the briefcase is stolen.
The kid who stole it is murdered
but before he dies
he writes the initials LD on his palm.
LD means LDF, and LDF means
a billion dollars a year.
So you tell me.
All this adds up to...
Good morning, everyone,
and welcome to Chess Chemical.
Our first stop on today's tour will be the
Chess Family Science Discovery Center.
Now, as we walk in pairs
down the Biology of Tomorrow corridor...
I'd like to point out some of the
everyday products created here at Chess.
For example, the cold medicine
that I forgot to take this morning...
as well as the disposable diapers
I used for my little one last night.
Now, as we continue on...
Extension 307 is a 72-year-old
cafeteria worker named Sadie.
Hair net, orthopedic shoes.
Are you sure?
Maybe it was 3-O-something else.
No, no, no. I'm positive.
Here, look.
You wanna get out of here, or take a stroll
down the Biology of Tomorrow corridor?
Rule number one of investigative reporting,
Peterson, is find out what you're up against.
- Let's stroll.
- What's rule number two?
Stay clear of all surveillance cameras
when visiting the lair of the enemy.
- Thank you.
- No problem.
- Wilson Chess.
- Sabrina Peterson.
- And Mr. Peterson?
- Actually, the name's Brackett.
Peter Brackett, the writer.
Of course. Well, what brings you
to this neck of the woods?
I'm doin' e little research
on e new novel, Wilson.
You're kidding?
What, here at Chess?
- Mm-hmm.
- What's the new one about?
It's a murder mystery set against
the backdrop of a chemical company.
Sounds intriguing, but I'm always
a sucker for a good murder yarn.
Aren't you, Miss Peterson?
As long as the bad guy gets it
in the end, I'm happy.
W-Well, have fun. And don't forget to
change the names to protect the innocent.
So much for rule number three:
Avoid insulting...
the men who may be trying
to kill you.
- I was just looking for you, sir. Look at this.
- Hello.
- it's fine.
- You look very nice today.
- Thank you.
- We missed you for lunch. It was...
right through to
the research farm behind me...
where scientists are fine-tuning
Mother Nature with such innovative...
products for the future as the
Livestock Development Factor, LDF.
Now, if you'll Come with me,
I'd like to show you a film...
that highlights some of the exciting
things we're doing here at Chess.
Don't worry, parents.
it's G-rated.
- Hey, where'd you guys go on your break?
- We looked for you.
- We did.
- Oh, I had to go to the lab.
Rule number four: Get close to someone
who's close to the enemy.
How am I supposed to calm down?
You promised me this was going
to be taken care of...
and now they are here
in my building.
Ernesto, I can't
handle this anymore.
Just make it happen.
- Want us to pick you up at Ruby's tonight?
- Oh, I'll meet you there.
It's better if we take our own cars,
in case one of us gets lucky.
You mean, in case
there's a miracle, right?
You never know.
Well, what do you know?
Evans, this is great. This is good.
You got any leads on him?
Pete, I'm looking
for some more information on...
Come in.
- Hello? Mr. Brackett?
- Hi.
Mr. Brackett, we haven 't come up
with anything yet, but when we do...
Yeah, okay. Well, stay on it
and I'll check with you later.
Interesting news.
It seems Willy Chess
did go to Yale.
- Who's Ernesto Vargas?
- Well, that's the interesting news.
The reason Sam was confused about
whether or not Chess graduated...
- is because he was expelled.
- For?
Burning down
the English Department.
Somethin' about a problem
with one of his professors.
Young Willy and his cohort,
this South American kid Vargas...
they decided to torch the place for revenge,
they were caught and properly booted out.
A fire back then,
a fire at Beekman's.
A South American friend,
a South American assassin.
- Where's Vargas now?
- Evans can't seem to get a line on him.
- Maybe Sam could help.
- Yeah. Good idea.
Good idea.
You don't know
what I did with his, uh...
Thank you.
By the way, I dressed like this because
I figured this is the way...
you're supposed to dress
at these pickup places...
and I didn't want
to stand out or anything.
Yeah. No chance of anyone
noticing you, Peterson.
- That's good thinking.
- Sam Smotherman's office.
- Hi. Is he in?
- Who's calling please?
- Peter Brackett.
- Just a minute.
By the way, Peterson, that reminds me.
We never did finish that other discussion.
- What other discussion?
- Pete, hello.
Sam, how ya doin'?
Well, I'm all right,
believe it or not.
Well, I knew you'd recover. Listen,
can you check on an old Yalie for me?
A name came up. We can't seem
to get a lead on the guy.
I'm sorry. Just one second.
Sure. Who is he?
Well, he was at Yale
the same time as Willy Chess.
- His name is, uh, Ernesto Vargas.
- Bargas?
No, no, no.
Vargas with a V like Victor.
Oh, Vargas. That doesn't sound familiar,
but I'll check him out.
All right. Well, look, I'm gonna be in and
out, so if you come up with anything...
like where he is or how we can reach
him, call my office, ask for Evans.
Yeah, I'll make a deal with you,
though. I find this Vargas guy...
then you're gonna clue me in
on what you're workin' on?
If he finds Vargas, will we clue
him in on what we're working on?
You got it, buddy! Thanks a lot.
I'll see ya later.
Rule number five, Peterson:
Always humor those who can help you.
Now, what other conversation
did you want to finish?
Oh, the one about me
wanting to get you in the sack.
Oh, that. Well, forget it.
I didn't really think...
No, no, no, Peterson.
This is important.
I want you to know that I see you
strictly as a fellow newspaperman.
I mean that sincerely.
I see you as nothing else,
and I never will.
You have my word on it.
- I do?
- Mm-hmm.
Well, thanks.
That makes me feel really good.
I appreciate it.
I, I, I, I do. Thanks.
You're welcome, kid.
There 's gonna be
a heartache tonight
A heartache tonight I know
Gonna be a heartache tonight
The moon shinin' bright
Kim, introduce me.
Michael, this is Robin.
Robin, this is Michael.
- Hi.
- Robin's thinking of moving here.
Do it. We need more cute babes
in this town.
Yeah, right. Like there aren't
already four babes to every man.
- Kim, look who's here.
- Dixon, what are you doing here?
- Didn't your wife just have a baby?
- I'm celebrating!
- Yeah, right.
- Dance?
That's the other problem.
Small town, big chemical company.
Everybody knows
everything about...
Whoa, daddy!
Look what just walked in.
Somebody's gonna hurt someone
Before the night is through
Who? The guy
with the black suit?
Somebody's gonna come undone
There's nothin' we can do
You don't think he's like
off-the-charts hot?
I don't know that I'd go right to
off-the-charts. You think so?
I know so.
I also know I haven't been laid
in more months than I care to admit.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- How ya doin'?
- Ooh, great now.
- Can I buy you a drink?
- Absolutely.
- I'll have what the lady's having.
- Comin' right up.
I'm fine, thank you.
I don't like you
- I'm David.
- I'm horny.
Seems that I'm always
- Thinkin' of you
- Oh!
You treat me badly
I love you madly
You've really got a hold on me
Really got a hold on me
You really got a hold on me
Baby, I love you
And all I want you to do
ls just hold me
Hold me Hold me
- Hold
- Do you wanna dance?
- Hold
- I'd love to.
Tighter, honey
I don't wanna leave you
Don't wanna stay here
Don't wanna spend
Another day here
Ooh, I wanna split now
But I just can't quit now
You've really got a hold on me
- Really got a hold on me
- You got me
- You really got a hold on me
- You really got a hold on me
Hey, Peterson.
I'm sorry.
I lost track of time.
No problem.
I'm sure you were...
I mean,
I imagine you were...
Not that I was sitting here imagining
anything, because I wasn't.
- What time is it?
- it's a little after 4:00.
I see. Fine.
So, um, it's late, so let's
just go, okay, Brackett?
And, by the way, do you mind
if I drive, because...
Just because I'm the woman doesn't always
mean I wanna be the passenger, okay?
I didn't sleep with her.
Excuse me. Did I ask you
if you slept with anybody?
No, no, no, no, no.
I just wanted you to know.
Look, Brackett, however you choose to
get your information is your business.
Did you lift her security pass
is all I wanna know.
- Well, I couldn't. She was all over me.
- Oh.
By the way, for the record,
not sleeping with her...
was maybe some of
the hardest work I've ever done.
Do I look like your roommate?
I don't wanna hear this.
You're right. I apologize.
Now, please, sit down.
Let me buy you a cup of coffee.
I'm tired of sitting,
and I'm not thirsty.
Peterson, I've got us a lead.
This is Kim's surprise party
last year.
The man with the gray hair
is Beekman.
There's our friend Willy. And next to
him in the glasses is Alexander Hervey.
Uh, who's Alexander Hervey?
He's a research scientist at Chess.
He and Beekman created LDF together.
- Really?
- Yeah.
So where has he been during all this?
- Boulder City, Nevada.
- Nevada?
- You want some coffee?
- Not really. No.
Well, okay, yeah. No.
Uh, yes. Half a cup.
Oh, no, thanks.
I try not to eat after 11:00.
It's bad for your metabolism to
eat when your body's inactive.
Plus I try to avoid saturated
fats, but you go ahead.
So, what's in Nevada?
Hervey and Beekman worked on LDF
for ten years.
At the end of the day,
LDF was a big hit and they were heroes.
Hervey was promoted and made the head
of a research facility outside of Vegas.
- So he's sitting pretty.
- He was, but a couple of months ago...
he had a stroke, so he's pretty
much out of commission now.
But the interesting thing is, Kim heard
Beekman was also offered a promotion...
but he turned it down.
So he turns down a promotion,
quits his job...
and suddenly dies?
Look, I realize that we're only
investigating together...
and we're trying to avoid coming
to any actual conclusions out loud.
- However?
- However, it seems to me...
- that something wasn't kosher with LDF.
- Mm-hmm.
And Willy must've gone
to Beekman and Hervey
and offered them promotions if they'd...
- Fake the test results?
- Is that what you think, Brackett?
- Is that what you think, Peterson?
- I asked you first.
- Yes.
- Me, too.
I think Henley went along with
the plan, but Beekman refused.
So he leaves Chess and takes
the real test results with him.
- And just in case, sends a copy to his son.
- Exactly.
Willy finds out, panics, and
calls in his old friend Vargas.
You've turned into
a hell of a Hardy Boy, Peterson.
Besides the fact that these
people are trying to kill us...
how about the fact that they're
contaminating the country's milk supply?
Milk! Is nothing sacred?
Let's go!
Gimme the keys, Peterson.
You can drive next time.
What was that all about?
That guy was what? Tell me.
I don't know. Like, he was there then he
was gone. I don't know. I got spooked.
Well, it's okay.
I'm dead anyway.
Yes, you are.
You two have somethin' that doesn't belong
to you, and I've been asked to take it back.
Peterson, do you have somethin'
that doesn't belong to you?
- No. Do you?
- Mmm. Sorry, we don't have it.
Stay in this lane, boyfriend,
and keep it at 60.
So what's the plan?
Take us to some remote place,
kill us and make it look like an accident?
- Sounds good to me.
- Well, guess what?
Since I'm the designated driver,
screw your plan.
What are you doing?
Slow the car down,
or I'll smoke you right now!
Go ahead!
That's it!
Pull over!
Put your seat belt on,
What are you, crazy?
- You're welcome.
- Should I Search him?
- Is he dead?
- I don't think so.
Then I wouldn't.
I think we took the wrong turn.
Jeez! Oh!
Perhaps this is
a blessing in disguise.
- At least nobody knows where we are.
- Including us.
So, are we gonna go see
this Hervey character or what?
Yeah. Sure.
Which way's Nevada?
What do you think that guy meant
when he asked...
if we had something
that didn't belong to us?
I don't know. Maybe Beekman's
test results weren't in the briefcase.
But if we had them, why would we
still be on the story?
Better question is, if they weren't
in the briefcase, where are they?
You aren't suggesting
I have them.
Oh, I hadn't thought of that.
Do you?
- Wanna frisk me?
- No, not tonight, dear. I have a headache.
Oops. I'm sorry.
You sure you don't want
some sunscreen, Brackett?
- it's paba-free.
- I'm fine, thank you.
One out of every six Americans
gets skin cancer before the age of 65.
You blonds have to be
especially careful.
Peterson, do me a favor.
Quit givin' me advice.
First, I shouldn't eat bacon,
then saturated fat.
If I'd eaten that saturated fat, I
wouldn't be starving to death right now.
Don't wear sunscreen.
You know, I was just thinking. You know
where I'd be today if it weren't for you?
- No, tell me.
- At the Beverly Hills Hotel...
on my book tour, lounging around the pool,
giving interviews, gazing at Starlets.
You're not even embarrassed
to say that, are you?
Embarrassed? What do you think?
I'd rather be traipsing through poison ivy...
wearing a shirt on my head,
looking for hidden test results?
You think they're hidden?
You're actually having fun
on this story, aren't you?
You're not? I mean, I understand
your saying you're not...
but you're really not?
Peterson, do I look like a man
having fun?
A man lounging around the Beverly Hills
Hotel ogling Starlets...
looks to me like a man
not having fun.
And furthermore, I think
you owe me an apology.
In my opinion, meeting me was the best
thing that ever happened to you.
You could've quit this story
anytime you wanted, and you didn't...
because you and I both know
this is the story of our lives.
No matter what you say, I know
you'd rather be an ace reporter...
than a second-rate
What is that?
What is what?
- Don't turn around. I'm getting out.
- Yeah?
I didn't think you'd be back so fast.
Don't turn.
I won't.
- What's that?
- What?
- Uh-oh.
- She's naked.
- What?
- She's butt naked!
Honey, we've been rescued.
What are you doing?
Don't do this to me, please.
Was I hearing things, or did you
call me a second-rate novelist?
I was, I was kidding. I,
I never even read your book.
- I, I'm sure it's quite brilliant.
- Uh-huh.
- Oh! What are you doing? Walk backwards.
- You never read it, huh?
Boys! Hi, boys! Look!
A double-spotted platypus.
They're very rare.
You're missing it.
When they said be prepared, I bet you
boys didn't expect anything like this.
Only in our dreams.
Are you sure you never
read my book, Peterson?
- Okay, stop. I, I read it. I'm, I'm reading it.
- And?
It's cute.
Very cute.
I, I expected more,
to tell you the truth, but...
These nature walks are really
educational, huh, guys?
Hey, I got a great idea!
Does anybody have a camera?
Come on, you look great!
I can't believe I let you
talk me into this shirt!
I mean, we look like
Roy Rogers and Dale Evans!
I mean, look at us.
Brackett, they found us.
Let's get outta here.
- Stop! Stop!
- Get out of the way.
Move 'em out!
Come on, Peterson!
This way! This way!
Brackett, through here.
We don't see
many of those anymore.
Right this way.
- You kids next?
- Us?
- Yes! Yes! Yes, we are. We're next.
- isn't this rather sudden?
Come, come, come.
Don't be shy.
My name is Ray. I'll be conducting
the service this evening.
Please take a position
in front of the podium...
and I'll acquaint you with the
accoutrement we have at our disposal.
We have flowers, fresh or silk.
We have rings, veil, tux,
yarmulke, if you so desire.
- Music, prerecorded or live...
- We'll take the works.
Yes. The works, Sandra.
Spare no expense on such
a marvelous and holy occasion.
That's a 42,
and it looks like a winner.
Please place this
on the apex of the skull.
Very good.
Would you folks prefer the...
long or the abridged service
this evening?
Uh, just do us a favor.
Just go through the motions. Uh...
- Just start.
- Just start? Why don't we just start?
Sandra, if you will.
I'll need your names.
- Peterson.
- Brackett.
Peterson, you and Brackett
have decided to unite your love.
May you cherish
this sacred moment...
As I ask Brackett...
do you take Peterson
to be your wedded wife...
promising to cherish
and protect her...
be it in good fortune
and adversity?
- Is he here?
- Yes!
Yes? And do you take Brackett
to be your wedded husband...
promising to cherish
and protect him...
be it in good fortune
and adversity?
If he comes any closer,
we're out the rear exit.
Okay. And so,
by the powers vested in me...
by the great state of Nevada...
I pronounce you
husband and wife.
Mazel to v.
I'm Coming up empty
on this guy Vargas.
And your friend Sam
called twice.
He said that he can't find
anybody who knew him at Yale.
Oh, how's Peterson?
ls she still driving you crazy?
More than you can imagine.
I'll talk to you tomorrow.
- Anything?
- Not yet.
- You hungry?
- Yeah, a little.
To the bravest girl I ever met.
Why? Because I've managed
to stay alive?
Oh, no, no!
Because you married me.
Am I really looking
at a heart-shaped turkey burger?
You know, if anyone told me two weeks
ago I'd be married to Peter Brackett"
Oh, no, no, no, no. Don't worry.
I already checked.
We can have it annulled
in the morning.
Oh, you did?
Well, a 12-hour marriage.
Even shorter than my first one.
you were married before?
You find that so hard
to imagine?
No, no. I'm just sort of particular
about who my wives have been married to.
- Who was he?
- Name's O'Connor.
Of Peterson, Peterson
and O'Connor.
He's extremely close
with my parents.
- Well, you've been married before, right?
- I tried it briefly.
Didn't like it?
No, actually it was my wife
who had the complaint.
She said I was never home. She said
I loved newspapering more than her...
She said she'd never mean as much to
you as the story you were working on.
- She said she was jealous of the boys...
- In the City room.
- Yeah!
- Funny.
She's now married to a brilliant
CPA with an amazing sweater collection.
- Bet he's home every night.
- Like clockwork.
- That's what they like.
- Regularity.
You know, Brackett...
some guys...
might try to take advantage of
a situation like this, but not you.
No, no.
I know this is the one area...
- where I can completely trust you.
- Mm-hmm.
So, which side of the heart
do you want?
- We're sleeping in shifts. Remember?
- Yeah, right. I forgot.
- Um, you want to take the first shift?
- No, no, you go ahead.
Tell me something, Brackett.
What is it about me
you don't like?
I'm not pretty enough?
Not tall enough?
Too tall?
Too smart?
Not smart enough?
Wrong color hair?
Talk too much?
Really, what is it?
I've never had this effect
on a man before.
You would be surprised, but...
most men are actually
somewhat attracted to me.
I know you think I'm trouble,
and you curse the day you met me...
but off the record, I don't feel
that way about you...
at all.
Off the record, Peterson...
I don't feel that way
about you, either...
at all.
You don't?
First time I ever kissed
a newspaperman.
I like it.
This doesn't change anything.
I'm still the Globe, and you're still...
The Chronicle.
I know, Sabrina, I know.
- We're still...
- Competitors.
Thank you
for calling me Sabrina.
- Hello?
- This is Mrs. Hervey.
If you want to see my husband,
please come now.
This is exactly the sort of thing that
would've driven my ex-husband crazy.
Your current husband's not
too thrilled about it, either.
- Well...
- Yeah.
Oh, hey, don't forget
your wallet.
Shall we?
My husband's home now
because there's nothing more
they can do for him at the hospital.
But some days
he's not all that bad.
Alex, the reporters from Chicago
are here to see you.
Alex, they've come
such a long way to see you.
You wanted to talk to my husband
about, um, Darryl Beekman, didn't you?
Mm-hmm. Yes, we were wondering
why, a-after the success of LDF...
that your husband
was given a promotion...
but Dr. Beekman chose
to leave the company?
Were you wondering, Mr. Brackett,
or do you think you know?
We think we know. We just need
someone to tell us if we're right.
Did your husband ever say
anything about Dr. Beekman...
about disagreements
between them?
I- I'm sorry. I w... I was hoping
Alex could talk to you.
I sensed that he wanted to.
Uh, uh, excuse me. Can I use
your restroom for a second?
- Down the hall.
- Oh, thank you.
I'm sorry you had to come
such a long way.
I really appreciate you calling
us, Mrs. Hervey. Thank you.
Maybe we should wait
until Mr. Brackett gets back.
No, no, that's okay.
Uh, I really don't know
what it is, but...
I thought it was strange,
because in 30 years...
I've never seen Alex bring
anything home from work.
You can take it, but I'm afraid it's
not much use to anyone outside of Chess.
Thank you.
This is Captain Riley. Just to let
you know that we're ahead of schedule...
and we'll be arriving in Chicago
in just a little under an hour.
The temperature is e breezy
34 degrees with clear skies.
- Sorry.
- No problem.
Complimentary champagne
for the bride and groom?
I can always spot the newlyweds
on our Vegas flights.
Of course with you two,
who couldn't?
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
So, what should we drink to?
- Our annulment?
- Perfect!
Because, truthfully, Brackett, there's not a
man in the world I'd rather annul than you.
Truthfully, Peterson, I wouldn't
believe anything you ever said...
that started with
the word truthfully.
Well, I guess it's time
to put an end to the Charade.
Yeah. Gimbel's marries Macy's.
We wouldn't want that to get around.
- May I?
- Mmm.
Will you do something for me,
Peterson, for old times' sake?
Kiss me good-bye.
Back now, 7:30 on this, uh,
Monday morning, October the 14th.
I'm Bryant Gumbel here in Studio 3B.
Katie Couric's up on Capitol...
What happened to October 13th?
Let's go.
Uh, I'm here
for the 4:00 tour.
In beautiful
Spring Creek, Wisconsin.
Our first stop
on today's tour...
is going to be the Chess Family
Science Discovery Center.
Now, as we walk in pairs down
the Biology of Tomorrow corridor...
Right this way, sir.
How are you folks today?
I'd like to point out a few of the
everyday products created here at Chess.
For example, the cold medicine
which I forgot to take this morning.
- Hi.
- Milk, e staple for the entire family.
And just one of the products
Chess Chemical is working to improve...
- for the 21st century.
- You know, you look very familiar.
Have we met before?
No. Actually this is my first
visit to the Twilight Zone.
- Why'd you double-cross me, Peterson?
- Just following the Golden Rule.
But I thought we were partners,
five-oh, five-oh.
That must explain why you took
Kim's security pass.
- Oh, Peterson, I was gonna...
- l was gonna tell you.
You can't even be honest
about being dishonest.
I was gonna tell you, Peterson.
I took it as a backup.
- I never thought we'd be here again.
- Yeah, mm-hmm.
- Look, I gotta go.
- Peterson, listen.
It's not safe for you
to be here alone.
Now, you probably don't wanna be
reminded of this...
but I did take an oath to protect you
'til death do us part.
Game's over, Brackett,
and you lose.
I've got the disk.
I've got the security pass.
Actually, I have the disk.
Actually, that's blank.
I've got the disk.
I've got my own security pass.
And I've got the authority
to have you thrown out of here.
Sabrina. Honey, come on.
After all we've been through!
Just do in your heart what you know
I would do if I was in your position.
Sam, stop!
I don't want to hear.
I'm not interested in Vargas anymore.
I'm off the story.
- Peterson, too?
- No, no, no. She's still on it.
You know, the girl is nuts!
She went undercover
as a Chess tour guide.
You're kidding!
I'm serious.
She got a job there.
Pete, look, look, there 's more
I wanna tell you, okay?
No, Sam, don't tempt me!
I'm not gonna get killed on a story
where I don't even get the girl.
I'm goin' back on my book tour.
I'll be in Seattle by dinner.
In a few hours, this whole thing
will be a distant memory.
Okay, don't worry about it, buddy.
And good luck on the tour.
Thanks for everything, man.
You need to have a little chat
with your personnel director.
Sabrina Peterson's
working at Chess.
Oh, Jesus.
He ain't gonna help us.
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
We hope you have enjoyed your tour, and
remember, no matter where you may live...
Chess Chemical is your neighbor,
striving for a better tomorrow today.
Thank you very much.
Excuse me.
Does this plane have a phone?
Straight ahead on the cabin wall, but you
really need to stay in your seat, sir.
- We're about to take off.
- Okay, thanks.
- What city, please?
- Uh, Madison.
The number of the capitol building.
- That's 555-4331.
- Thank you.
Ladies and gentlemen,
we'll be taking off momentarily.
Flight attendants,
please prepare for departure.
- Good evening. State Capitol.
- Yeah, Sam Smotherman.
Mr. Smotherman.
That's extension 307.
Keep it movin'.
Keep comin'.
Fine. Hold it right there.
- How you doin', Jack?
- Okay, Bob. How are you?
Jesus! God!
What are these...
Oh, Jesus!
Too bad. But a definite A
for effort, Peterson.
Or should I call you Brackett,
Mrs. Brackett? Hmm?
I don't really care what
you call me, Smotherman.
Or should I call you
Ernesto, Mr. Vargas?
Oh, darn!
I wanted to be the one
to tell you.
You did!
A cop once told me...
Always look for the lie; that's when
the story begins to unravel.
When I asked you what year you graduated,
you gave me two different years.
I wondered why, so I looked
you up in your yearbook.
Funny thing was, you weren't in it,
not under the name Smotherman, anyway.
We were hoping you had what
we were looking for, but...
since you don't have it,
and we don't have it...
we can assume
it didn't survive the crash.
So now the only evidence
to destroy is you.
Oh, and your husband,
of course.
we know exactly where he is.
- What's going on, Ted?
- Oh, Mr. Chess,
I didn't know anyone was in here.
We've got an alert
down at the loading dock.
- Go back to your station. I'll deal with it.
- Yes, sir.
Get out there.
See what's going on.
How'd you get involved
in this, Sam?
Willy wanted to get rid of Beekman, and
he thought you could get the job done?
- Something like that.
- But you botched the fire in college.
What made him think
you'd get it right this time?
I was the only bad guy he knew.
Did he pay you to hook up
with Senator Robbins?
Think I could afford
steak dinners if he didn't'?
Do me a favor, Peterson.
Sit down.
Stay with her, and watch her.
I'm sorry to keep you waiting.
It seems...
It seems we've got a traffic jam
in the parking lot.
I'm in no rush. As long as
we've got a couple of minutes...
You want an interview?
Why not? Give a dying girl
her last wish.
Why'd you do it, Willy? Why not just
admit LDF was a flop and move on?
For ten years, Beekman and Hervey
promised me they'd iron out the kinks.
A hundred million dollars later,
they apologized, said they were wrong.
By then it was too late. I mortgaged our
company's future in this thing. It had to fly!
What were these kinks, exactly?
Well, let's put it this way. You can't
put a label on a carton of milk:
This product has been known
to cause cancer in laboratory animals.
- And Beekman was gonna blow the whistle.
- Can you imagine?
The guy screws up and then he tries to bite
the hand that feeds him? Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk.
All right, that's it. I've had it.
Just get her out. Now!
- Willy, let's go.
- Where's he gonna take me, Sam?
- At least tell me how he's gonna do it, huh?
- No comment.
Another train crash?
Another fire?
Hey, maybe I'll get it the
old-fashioned way like Danny Brown.
Come on, Sam, you're the organ grinder
here! Tell me how this ape's gonna do it.
- Why not just show her, Mando?
- Brackett!
You got her? Just get her.
Stop shooting!
Lock the gates.
Don't let anyone in.
Peterson, I thought
you were one of them!
It's okay.
I'm all right. I'm fine.
What'd you come back for,
Brackett, me or the story?
- Mostly you, Peterson.
- Mostly me?
He's on the third tier!
Nice try, Mando.
Drop the gun.
Why? Are you going to shoot me
with your finger, Brackett?
There's only one way
to find out.
Any time you want to jump in,
- Thank you!
- You're welcome.
Oh, Jesus.
Oh, Jesus!
My mother always said, you want
the job done right, do it yourself.
Whoa. Whoa.
- Peterson!
- Self-defense classes.
A must for a woman in the '90s.
- Stay there or I'll shoot.
- I don't think so.
Think again.
Mrs. Brackett,
you had it all the time.
Don't touch.
Hey, Pete, do you mind
if I kill your wife?
As a matter of fact, I do.
Hang on, Peterson!
Grab on!
I got it! I got it.
Atta girl.
As Vargas shouted
his final command...
the Thin Man's eyes
measured Peterson for a coffin.
She turned, a breath away from
the barrel of his.22 automatic.
Poetry, sweetheart.
Absolute poetry!
Look who's talking. The cold metal tip
of the pistol brushed against my hair.
I looked up at the assassin. His eyes
were empty as two holes in a mask."
Honey, I got goose bumps!
You ever think
of writing a novel?
And give up the newspaper game?
Well, I might give it a try again.
Here's my idea.
- Mmm.
- Male, female reporters solve mystery...
- fight...
- Mm-hmm.
Make up, fall in love...
save the day,
go on a honeymoon.
Sounds like a best-seller
to me.
- Darling.
- Yes, my love?
You didn't really mean it when you said our
scoundrel days were behind us, did you?
They are for me
if they are for you.
All right. I promise
to go straight if you do.
I do.
Then I do too.
Brackett, get this!
- Two guys with.385 coming right
out of that, uh, that bank.
Peterson. Peterson, sweetheart.
We're on our honeymoon.
Sorry, baby.
It slipped my mind.
Let me refresh your memory.