I Really Love My Husband (2025) Movie Script
1
Yeah but Teresa and
Drew, though...
I know.
They're...so iconic!
Hi, sorry, excuse me.
Yeah! Where do we
find a Drew?
Teresa?
Hey, how are you?
I- I'm...
Isn't it your wedding day?
Yes.
I just wanted to tell you
that I'm really happy.
And I love Drew.
And I forgive you.
Okay?
I love my husband.
I really--
Drew.
Drew, give us a smile!
You kept me warm
in the winter...
We melted in spring...
Drew here has never
seen The Shining
so--how old are you?
and if I really
tried again
do you think he would
let me back in
I am doing DIY December,
where we are doing--
DIY December!
I hope you find your love
and she treats you well
Hey Drew.
What's it like to lose?
How small is the plane to the
island going to be?
Pretty small.
How small we talking?
Ladies and
gentlemen, we
do have a nut allergy
on board today, so...
- Honeymoon vibes.
- Honeymoon vibes.
Have you seen my--
My husband!
Okay.
An island in Panama!
Our honeymoon.
I love that!
So are you still in a daze
from the wedding?
Oh, we actually got
married a year ago,
but we did the whole
'mini moon' thing.
So this is the 'official'
official honeymoon.
Yeah, and I'm still in a daze.
Do you want a bar?
They're keto. It's like a
keto cookie bar.
I have, like, five of them.
No, I'm good.
So how did you two meet?
Craigslist.
Craigslist?
I was selling a lamp.
Oh!
My nana gave me this lamp
and I didn't have a
place for it
and I was leaning
more into this
Japanese minimalism
aesthetic.
Nana was a maximalist.
And I answered his ad.
Everybody was like,
low balling me.
And I'm like,
'This is my Nana's lamp!'
So Teresa comes in, she
makes the lowest offer, right?
And I couldn't say no.
So, I kept her number...
... and I promised myself
I would not text
her for drinks...
...for a whole week.
- Sir,
are you okay?
And when I did,
she answered right away.
Couldn't say no.
Oh, I love that.
Oh my goodness.
- Is he okay?
- Sir?
Oh my god,
what's happening?
Can
someone--
I got it.
Honey,
you're not a doctor!
He's not a doctor!
Right
there, now.
Oh!
Thank you.
Yeah, yeah.
Peanuts.
Thank you.
No. No, no, no.
Who brings peanuts
on an airplane
after they announce
there's a nut allergy?
Your keto bar!
I mean our keto bar.
Ahem!
Sorry.
It's our honeymoon.
Really nice
meeting you too.
Get me on the ground!
Thank you.
Yeah, it doesn't even say
there are peanuts in here.
Yeah. Look. Says right there:
Prepared in a facility
with nuts.
Where are our bags?
The bags never
made it to Houston.
I knew we shouldn't have
checked them.That's on me.
Oh, that's not your fault.
Besides, we can--
We can go 24 hours
without our stuff.
Life at the equator
is striking.
Oh, that is a hat.
It's good, right?
Hello.
Okay.
Wow. We're buying the hat.
Hello! How's your day--
How's your day going so far?
You really have to chat
with everyone, don't you?
You say something?
No, no. Nothing really.
Woo!
Wow...
She wanted an adventure.
Yes, um...Pinterest...found.
And the Panama
beaches are stunning.
Supposed to be food.
I'll reach out to the
rental guy.
Sunken living room...
Drew, there's a guitar!
Do you see the guitar?
Yeah.
And here is...
...the bathroom.
Wow, look at you.
Actually go back a few.
Okay, stop.
Yes.
I am going to go topless.
Because I'm an
empowered woman.
Yo!
Drew! You said this
is a private beach.
Hello.
-Hello.
-Hi.
Hi.
I'm Paz.
Oh, Paz! Yeah.
Paz?
The rental host.
P-A-Z, Paz.
Oh! Oh, 'Paz'
the name. Love that.
Thank you.
How are you guys
finding the place?
It's great.
Yeah, thanks.
Good.
Sorry to be annoying.
We, um... I think there was
supposed to be, like
food in the house?
Or, like, a lunch prepared?
Part of the welcome package.
- The 'honeymoon package'?
- Oh, yeah.
I told my friends to drop off
some food, but,
you know, 'island time.' We
move at the speed of nature.
Oh, yeah.
Don't worry about it.
We actually already ate.
Yeah, we brought some bars.
Yeah, they're these healthy
bars, they're for women.
Well, they're for anybody.
I mean, they're not gendered.
They're not 'Mrs. Bar,
Mr. Bar.'
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
they're keto, y'know, so...
I don't.
Oh, god, you need to
know keto, 'cause I think
that's probably, like,
the diet here, right?
I promise the food
here is great.
I recommend trying
Bibi's down the beach.
You guys wanna...?
Oh! Okay, Bibi's!
We would love to.
But we were just going
to settle in a bit.
Yeah. Right on.
Well, if you need me,
I live right down the beach.
- Nice to meet you.
- Yeah.
And I appreciate you, Serena.
Thank you.
You have a great night.
Bye bye.
Who's Serena?
It's going to be a
few more days.
The bags are still in Houston.
- Really?
- Yeah.
That's annoying.
Well, they're doing
the best they can.
Well, you could've yelled.
You never yell.
I yell.
- Oh, you do?
- Yes.
You know what?
I am really just tired
from the flight.
Okay.
We don't have to.
No. It's fine.
'It's fine?'
No. I--
- I just mean it's our--
- 'No, it's fine!'
It's our honeymoon.
Oh, 'it's our honeymoon!'
I've heard that before.
Hey! You cannot say that.
I just did.
'It's our honeymoon.'
It is.
Really.
Ladies and gentlemen, put your
hands together for our bride
and groom, Teresa and Drew!
Teresa and I,
we're so grateful
for all of you,
for coming out
to celebrate us.
And now,
Drew has a little surprise
for his bride, Teresa.
A love melody...
sings to me
In your eyes, a symphony
Hold me close to you
underneath the
starry beams
You and I
In lovers' dreams
Dispatches from Paradise.
Dispatches from Paradise.
Good morning.
Breakfast?
Uh, no, I don't--I want to
get back to my wedding weight.
I was actually thinking of
trying intermittent fasting.
- Oh, cool.
- But there's coffee.
Oh. Thank you.
I want to be in my body
and be close to nature.
Awesome.
Like moving at the
speed of nature.
Hey.
Do you want to fast with me?
Like on our honeymoon?
I feel like it's the perfect
time to, like, reset.
It's only in the mornings.
It's intermittent.
Oh, but I work out
in the mornings, and
I think if I
skipped breakfast,
that might be a
little tough for me.
Fine.
We'll eat breakfast.
-Weird.
-What?
Jason just liked that
picture of us.
- Jason?
- Jason Nichols.
He commented too.
He said,
'Great picture, Teresa.'
Just 'Teresa.'
That guy is so nice.
I remember him.
Hi, are you
thinking something to eat?
Yes, yes, I will have the
Breakfast Traditional,
please.
Teresa?
Uno mas pia colada por favor.
And to eat?
I'm fasting.
Como se dice 'fasting?'
How's your day going so far?
It's a
beautiful day.
- Just like every day.
- You are so lucky
to live here--
It's our honeymoon.
Congratulations.
Yeah, well, it's a
delayed honeymoon.
Yeah.
One year I've been
married to this one.
Isn't he handsome?
He is very handsome.
Thank you.
He's a handsome golden boy.
Even my mom has a
crush on him.
And she doesn't even
really like me that much.
Actually, on the plane
ride over here
he saved a man's life. Yeah.
A man who may or may not
have been having
a little reaction
to my keto bar.
We don't know for sure.
We were on the plane, and
this guy's like
'My throat's closing up.'
And Drew was like,
Gimme that EpiPen.'
And then he stabs the man.
And the man was saved.
The man lives because of Drew!
And then everybody
was staring at me
with eyeball daggers, because
I'm the bitch who opened
up the nut bar, which again,
we don't even know
if there were actually
peanut traces in there.
But after the entire plane
has practically applauded him
and given him the
Medal of Honor
he decides to say
that it is our keto bar.
He takes the blame.
Are you okay?
What? I'm telling a
funny story.
Everybody's laughing.
He took the blame
for our keto bar.
I'm sorry.
- What's wrong?
- Nothing.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
I feel like you're mad at me.
I'm not mad.
I'm not mad.
Am I allowed to be feeling
something other than jovial?
I mean, this is going to be a
week-long vacation,
and I'm allowed to be feeling
something other than happy.
In fact, right now
I'm relaxed.
I'm relaxing.
Okay, good. Good.
What happened on the plane
does sound obnoxious.
Yeah, it was.
Sorry.
-Don't apologize.
-No, I shouldn't have snapped.
Is there anything that
I can do to make it right?
No, no.
You're good.
You're so--
That's a good one.
What are you laughing at?
Your hat!
Your ironic fisherman hat.
Are you not wearing
that hat to make me laugh?
I see what you're saying.
I shouldn't have tried
to take credit
for the keto bar.
Okay, but even that,
even saying that, like,
can you just try not
to be so good for once?
Does that make sense?
I mean, we've been
married a year now.
Are we different?
Do you feel different?
We just got married.
We're still the same people.
Taxes are different.
- Like when you're
talking about Alan--
- Jason.
Yes. Jason. Okay.
A lot of guys would be
weirded out by that.
I'm not going to
put that on you.
That is weird to me.
I'm saying if we were
to look back, would we be like
yes, we lived all out.
We lived full lives.
Does that make sense?
It does. And...
... I will try.
I want to try.
I just hear 'honeymoon'
and suddenly I feel
like, this weight.
Like, suddenly, like,
this needs to be
like, the best week
of our lives.
Like an adventure.
Yes! Yes, like an adventure!
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
We're on the most adventurous
vacation of our
entire friend group.
I don't know. I'm confused.
And it's a lot of pressure.
No, no, no, no,
there's no pressure, okay?
There's no pressure.
It's just our honeymoon.
But there is a
lot of pressure.
Oh my God.
Come here.
I do feel seen by you.
I do, I do.
I see you.
Like, I see you.
And I see you seeing me. I
do. I see you seeing me, I do.
I really love it when
you tell me these things.
I really do.
Okay, that can sometimes
be hard for me.
I feel really, really good.
I do. Just to be able to
talk, you know?
Good morning!
- I told you my friends
always come through.
Are y'all getting hungry?
Brunch is just about ready.
'Honeymoon package.'
-We're fasting--
-Do you want to join us?
Yeah, I do.
When I got here,
I was like,
I need to be by the
jungle always.
But I need to be
by the ocean too.
And I feel like here on Bocas
I get the best of both worlds.
- You can have it all.
- If you have balance.
That really, really
resonates with me.
I knew I needed
something for me
outside of work, outside of
the rise-and-grind culture.
And so I was like,
'I'm taking back Mondays.'
But like, what does that
mean actually, right?
And so I was like, okay,
Sunday scaries, no sleep,
Monday fog, caffeine fix.
So I decided to make my
morning coffee
a practice of self-care.
Skip the Blue Bottle,
brew at home.
I started doing it every day
and I realized
I do have the discipline.
And I got control over myself.
And I think it was
that mental obstacle, that
hurdle of doing it every day
that changed my life forever.
Yeah, that is balance.
Yeah.
How about you?
How do you find balance?
Oh, I work out
in the mornings.
I'm a podcast engineer,
and it's a lot of sitting.
Working out helps me focus
and stay balanced.
You're in your head right now.
Take this.
A rock.
It's not just a rock.
It's a special rock.
So whenever you have anxiety
or something's coming up
you can hold it or play
with it or whatever you want.
But I used to have
the same thing, so I get it.
Well, I, uh...I don't want
to take your special rock.
No, it's your rock now.
Seriously.
I'll be right back.
I'm going to go get
myself a new rock.
Okay, listen.
Remember when we were
talking about trying
something new
for our adventure?
Okay? Hear me out.
Don't react until I finish.
Okay.
What if we seduced Paz?
- The rental host?
- Mm-hm.
Are you serious?
Yeah.
I mean, we're both
clearly attracted to them,
and, like, there's
a connection.
I mean, this is our
honeymoon, right?
And it's a safe
space to do it.
And, you know,
we didn't anticipate it,
which I think is really good.
Yeah.
I mean, it sounds like a lot.
Yeah, but--okay,
don't you want to
jumpstart things
and, like, reset things?
I mean, we're setting
the table for the
rest of our lives,
and I--we
want an adventure.
Okay, okay.
To be clear, you're saying
you just want to have
a threesome here,
and we're not opening
our relationship?
Yeah, a threesome.
But, if you and Paz wanted
to have your own experience,
I'd support that.
Like, I think that
would be beautiful.
A threesome? For us?
Yeah, for us.
You know,
I don't--I don't--
I don't know--
Gotta have your rock.
I don't think so.
Hey, that was an awesome meal.
- Oh, oh, yeah. For sure.
- This was really great.
Ah, nope, nope, nope, nope.
I got this.
We're going to clean up.
You've been amazing.
We're going to write
a great review.
Oh, and the rock too.
- Oh, right on.
- And you rock!
Thank you. Yeah.
All right. Right on.
Well, if you need me,
I'm just up the beach.
Great. Thanks a lot.
Yeah.
Paz!
Yeah. What's up?
Can we pay you to
show us a good time?
I mean, like a good time--
Like a good time
around the islands?
Because we were going
to be here for
3 or 4 days.
We just want an--
We want an adventure
around the islands.
Just like a tour guide.
Yeah,
only a tour guide.
You don't have to put us
to bed or anything or, like
babysit us, you know?
But, uh...shows that I'm
compromising and I'm open.
Yeah.
For sure. No. We could--
I'm totally down
We can go to Paki Point
and there's the mangroves.
I can take you guys
to Secret Island.
Secret Island?
Yeah!
It's this island
no one really knows about.
And it's fucking sick.
Great.
So the owner
was like, 'Hey, Paz!
why don't you just
keep an eye on things?
I'll pay you.'
So it kind of just worked out.
Sometimes things just...
work out!
Yeah, sometimes things
just work out.
Like how we met.
On Craigslist.
I was selling my Nana's lamp.
Didn't really fit
in my place--
You would sell your
grandma's lamp?
Well,
I was leaning into a more
Japanese aesthetic.
And Nana was more
of a maximalist.
Teresa answered the ad.
And, a lot of people
were low balling me.
And then she comes in and
she offers me the
lowest number, right?
And I couldn't say no because
she's a good negotiator.
Cool!
Let's go for a swim?
Yeah!
Yeah, it's magical.
I mean, there's, like,
fireflies everywhere.
And, um...I don't know why
people shit all over the
Midwest. It's the best.
I'm trying to remember
why I was there...
My cousin lover.
But it was winter, so there
were no lightning bugs.
Your cousin lover?
Yeah.
My cousin Sammi.
At the time, we were dating.
You were dating your cousin?
Yeah.
Like second cousin?
No, first.
It's very common for cousins
to marry and have children.
It's actually a Western
constructed taboo
that's pretty damaging
to a normal
and acceptable practice.
Super western.
Hola Armodio! Qu tl?
Hey!
- Cmo ests?
- Bien, bien.
- Hola!
- Hola.
Teresa.
Drew. Armodio.
How you doing?
Muy bien.
I mean, wow, this is
Secret Island? Wow.
Oh, no.
No, this isn't Secret Island.
No, I got to get
to know you a little
better before we go
to Secret Island.
Ooh, tough luck!
Woo! Come on, babe!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Wow, babe!
Paz, I thought you
said you played soccer!
Oh, c'mon!
Give me a minute!
Okay, if I were
a fruit, what would I be?
A coconut.
Okay, what would Drew be?
Um...
Are you saying I'm round?
No! No, coconuts
are sweet!
Where'd you get that?
Oh, yeah.
My dad gave it to me.
It's an Albanian eagle. Dads
usually give it to their sons,
but my dad gave it to me.
not my brothers.
Why? Because
you're his favorite?
Probably.
Watch your step.
- Thanks.
- I got you.
Yeah, we're still
waiting on the bags from
from Houston, but, it's
actually pretty liberating.
Who needs more than
one outfit? Right? I mean...
Who needs clothes
at all?
Yeah, I only
have two shirts.
How'd you choose your name,
by the way?
'Paz'?
It means 'peace.'
So you just woke up one day
and decided you wanted
to be named 'Peace'?
That's exactly what happened!
Okay, well, if you can
change your name, I can too.
You can! You can change
it right now.
Okay.
my name is Coco.
Because of the coconuts?
No.
We're moving at the
speed of nature around here.
Oh my god.
Oh my god!
Here you go.
- Thanks.
- Yeah. For sure.
So, what kind of podcasts
do you work on?
Conversation, mostly.
True crime,
pop culture, sports.
Right on. You like true crime?
Not really. No.
Do you?
Fuck no!
I used to be in music.
No bills are paid that way.
But the skills carry over
into podcasting.
Right.
And I do get to play a
little bit with the
true crime stuff, like,
I'll add creepy music
and mess with the levels.
I don't think they
notice though.
Probably not.
On other shows,
the hosts are like
semi-famous people
acting like they're saying
something important to
build their brands
so they don't have to
podcast anymore.
Oh, fuck.
That's depressing.
So you play an instrument?
You guys, look!
It's so cute.
What are they saying?
That cat's got scabies.
Oh my god.
No, Teresa. Cat scabies.
They don't bite humans.
God, I love that woman.
They don't bite humans.
Teresa, come on.
I can feel it!
Your wife is fucking crazy.
What the fuck?!
It's good.
Thank you so much.
I'll see you later.
Hey guys, the boat is ready.
Need help?
You seen my hat?
Hey!
Excuse me.
That's my hat.
That's mine.
It's his hat now.
I traded it for this.
- What?
- It was a special rock
and he really wanted
you to have it.
But I was like, 'Drew's not
gonna take a rock from a kid.'
So I gave him your hat.
Besides, your wife
hates the hat.
Do you wanna join us
for a drink tonight?
Of course.
- What better way
to end the day?
What do you mean?
We're going dancing tonight!
My Kiki! What's up?
How are you? This is Drew.
- Hi.
- Teresa, this is my Kiki.
So nice to meet you.
So,'My Kiki,' what brought
you to Bocas?
No, just 'Kiki.'
Paz loves nicknames.
Tell them.
- No...
- Come on, come on.
Well, I was out here
for a certain reality
TV show filming
on an island out here.
Yes, yes, that one.
And I was really excited.
Of course.
And, I mean, it's super
competitive to even get on,
so I didn't care if they
cast me as the villain.
I was just so ready.
And, um...
It's okay.
I was voted off
the first night.
Oh, yikes.
It's okay.
You put yourself out there,
and I think that is so big.
Thanks babe.
So big.
And I love that you're
someone who would do that.
I appreciate that.
It's just--
I don't know if Paz
understands completely
because I don't know if you've
even seen a reality TV show.
I haven't.
Not once.
What?
Well, the only thing worse
than being the villain is
being the one
no one remembers.
So I decided to stay in town
to decompress
and wallow a bit, and
Paz found me at Coquitos
drowning my sorrows.
I still think that
is just so cool.
I would love to be
on a show like that.
You should! Right?
I mean, you've got the
strength. Obviously.
And the social game, which
is pretty much most of it.
I'm gonna re-up.
My drink. Does anybody
want another drink?
Oh no, I'm still
working on mine.
Thanks, though.
Thank you.
So what brings you
guys to the island?
- I'm gonna be right back.
- Okay. Yeah.
It is our honeymoon.
- Your honeymoon?
- Yeah.
Oh my gosh!
Congratulations!
The happy couple!
Yes. I have questions.
Oh, please fire away.
You like-a da sour?
Ew!
I like-a da sour.
How long have you and
'My Kiki' been together?
Oh, we're not together.
We just enjoy
each other's company.
Okay, I figured,
which is fine, obviously.
Why wouldn't it be fine?
I don't blame you for staying.
This place is so beautiful.
I mean, it is. It really is.
I mean, it's amazing.
But I didn't stay here
for the island.
I stayed here for
buried treasure.
-What?
-Yeah!
Yeah. No.
I'm serious.
There's buried treasure
all over this island.
Here, try this.
You're going to spit it out.
You like it?
Okay. I don't. Disgusting!
All right. Let's dance.
The history and the
adventure and the exploring!
-It's just--
-Incredible.
Yes!
Guess what?
We're going to the
Secret Island tomorrow.
What's that!
Oh my God!
I don't like things
that crawl!
Look, it won't do
anything. It's just a crab.
Oh, I love this song!
Oh, hey, drinks on me.
Okay. Paz and Kiki,
they're just friends.
Very friendly friends.
What about Kiki?
I don't know.
What about Kiki?
Come on. You know.
Oh, no. No. Okay.
No! Come on,
I was open to Paz
because you're attracted
to them.
Why don't you just
be open to Kiki?
Oh, I don't know, Drew.
It's--I don't know.
The energy is not there.
I found a connection with Paz.
Okay? Took a beat.
But we're on vacation.
Like, this is a safe space
for us to explore together.
Don't laugh!
You know you want to!
Our adventure.
Okay.
Okay, fine. Maybe.
Paz said they're going
to pick us up tomorrow
morning and take us to
breakfast on the ocean.
I mean, do you feel that
chemistry with Paz?
Because I see it
between you two.
I mean, it is electric.
It's like we're alive.
And Secret Island is clearly
where they go to fool around.
You saw the look on Kiki's
face when Paz said that.
What do you think it's going
to be like with Paz?
Are you mad about Kiki?
When we go to Secret Island
it's going to be like this.
And this.
You're going to do
this to both
me and Paz at the same time?
Yes.
And this...
And this...
And this...
You're awake.
What time is it?
I have no idea.
Hey, what if we
didn't sleep with Paz?
-What?
-Yeah.
I just feel like I sort of
forced you into it, and...
I don't know.
Let's just stick to the plan.
For us.
Our adventure.
Right, right.
Okay, I'm going to
go make coffee.
Big day.
Secret Island.
Secret Island.
How is it?
It's good.
Come in!
Who's ready for Secret Island?
Oh, we are!
Yes.
No way.
I told you I got you.
You didn't have to do this.
No, I did, and it is
a Panama hat,
they're just made in Ecuador.
It's a common misconception.
Oh, you look so cute.
Okay, so I have a picnic
packed up here,
a special picnic.
We have some arts and crafts.
I love arts and crafts!
And a lot of water.
Love water.
And the thing about Secret
Island, when we get there,
we're going to have to--
Oh my God.
What's wrong?
Oh my God, oh my God,
oh my God.
Did you get bit?
No, nothing. It's fine. Fuck!
No no it's--
No, it's fine, it's fine!
What it is,
what happened?
My ring!
I had it on on the porch
and it was on my finger
and then I came out
here to the ocean
and then I stuck my hands
down in the ground
because I was
grounding myself!
It might be buried.
Just dig. Just dig!
You're sure it was right here?
Yes!
Oh I was so stupid!
That was so stupid!
What do we do?
It's okay, it's okay!
I'm so sorry.
It's okay.
No. I'm not good.
Don't say that.
I'm not.
I love you so much.
I'm not good.
No, don't say that.
It's going to be okay.
I know.
Guys.
I'm so sorry.
The last metal detector
on the island went missing
six years ago.
I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.
Fuck.
Is there anything
I can do for you?
We should go inside.
Yeah.
You've been trying
to seduce me this whole time.
No...
No!
Okay, well, yes.
That's fine.
We have a connection.
You know what would make
this even better?
What?
Breakfast in bed.
Hey, we'll help.
No, I got it. Yeah.
I feel so present.
- Like, so in my body.
- Yeah. That's good.
I've been trying to be, like,
more in my body and just
more in myself in general
Like, for example,
in my morning routine,
I wake up,
I do my morning pages,
I write three things
I'm grateful for, three things
I wish I can improve upon,
and three intentions
I have for the day.
I just find if I'm not
staying grateful
I end up being in this
really negative headspace
which just sort of accelerates
me to be more in my body.
Whoa.
So you do all that so
you can be present?
Yeah, yeah.
All the time.
I want you to be
present with me.
I don't think I could do that.
May I?
What do you feel?
I feel your hands.
What do you see?
I see your eyes.
How do you feel?
I feel safe.
You'll find you'll
surprise yourself
when you quiet yourself.
Breakfast on the
upper deck!
Man, I am so full.
But I can't stop eating.
I love your pancakes, Drew.
I'm really good at
making pancakes.
Should we do a check in?
Oh, yeah. Sure.
Yeah, well, I can go first.
So we just
engaged in an intimate
experience together,
and I feel very good about it.
Well, I feel good.
I feel really good.
I'm surprised at how
good I feel.
And um...
I feel more connected
with you.
So thank you, Paz.
That make me really
happy to hear.
Teresa?
Oh um...I feel...like
I have to pee.
Are you happy now?
Life is...
moving.
At the speed of nature.
What's in the pancakes?
I am...
happy.
I'm really, really happy.
Good.
Flour...
Sugar...
Eggs...
Milk...
Chocolate.
Chocolate?
From your bag.
That's not chocolate
chocolate.
It's not chocolate-
chocolate?
It's magic chocolate.
Oh my God!
The gap in the teeth
leads to the heart!
It's all a map!
Albert Einstein's second wife
Elsa was his first cousin.
Oh my God!
Their mothers were sisters and
their fathers
were first cousins.
Oh my God!
Can you imagine how hard
it must be to balance
mother in laws
who are also sisters?
On top of maintaining his
relationship with Elsa?
I love my husband.
I love his jokes.
They're funny.
They are funny.
You know what?
What?
I have to love people right
where they are.
You got to love people right
where they are, Drew.
I've got your back!
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy!
Oh, shit!
I drugged us!
I drugged us on accident!
Woah...
Take yourself into
the unknown
Take yourself into
Guys...
Woah!
Let me see it.
Oh fuck.
Oh fuck!
That's awesome.
Jeez!
This is, like, the
best thing I've ever eaten.
What are the plans
for tonight?
I need to dance.
Oh you know what?
I need to dance, too.
Let's dance.
I'm going to meet up
with some friends,
but y'all should definitely
have some fun.
Oh, yeah.
Good. Yeah.
That's great, actually.
I've been wanting some
solo time with you.
Yeah. That's good.
That's a good idea.
All right, well,
if you need me,
you know where I live.
Right down the beach.
Alright...
Bye!
Bye!
They're so funny.
This'll be nice.
No, I am
glad we chose here.
Yeah, it's been so...
You okay?
Yeah.
Woah! What
the fuck was that?
It's just a crab.
It's a crab--it's okay!
Run away!
The thing is, I feel
like if I'm moving,
then things can't bite me.
Does that make sense?
So I just feel like
we need to go dancing.
Yeah. Let's just--
Let's go dancing.
Are you okay?
Drew?
Are you sure
you're okay?
Yes. You go
without me.
Don't deny your
dancing mood.
Okay.
I'll be dancing here in bed.
Good night.
Um, hola.
Hi!
Un tequila y soda por favor.
Tequila soda.
Yes.
Con lime.
Right now.
Hola John, qu tl?
Hey, Kiki.
Hola. Cmo ests?
Bien. Y t?
Excelente.
Love that.
Hi.
How was your day?
Oh, it was, it was great.
Thanks. Yeah.
That's great.
Do you hate yourself?
No. I don't hate myself.
What kind of question is that?
Oh. Right.
I'm just wondering.
I was just wondering.
You see, I was on
this reality TV show.
Yes, I know.
Right.
Sorry.
I just figure you
have to hate yourself
to put yourself on a
show like that.
But at least now I know
I hate myself, and
I'm working on it.
And I think someday
I will like myself.
That's great, Kiki, that
you're doing all that work.
but I like myself, so...
I don't really think that
pertains to me.
That's good.
Pepto. Thank you God.
You know, I saw
you guys earlier.
You and Paz and Drew.
Oh.
Yeah.
But that's okay.
I mean, I'm super used
to it by now.
That's kind of Paz's thing.
You know? Sleeping with
couples here on vacation.
And it's funny because
they all think it's like
this magical, unique
thing, but it's not.
Being with Paz alone
though, that's different.
That's special.
They let very few people in.
One on one. Like that.
Um...
Okay, thank you.
I have to go.
Okay. Do you, um...
I can have my
own experience.
I don't hate myself.
Paz.
Oh, sorry.
Paz?
Hey.
How was your night?
Yo!
I was just packing so
we could go first thing.
Oh, great. Awesome.
Do you want to have a beer?
Is it cold?
You're quiet.
I just feel at ease
when I'm around you.
So you like me?
I'm sorry.
Teresa's just in my head,
and I can't stop thinking...
I thought that
I was standing on
something solid.
But now I think that I'm
the only one that felt that.
She said that she wanted us
to have our own experience.
You and me.
I know you think I'm crazy
but I'm not.
This door's jammed.
You have fun?
It was really, really fun.
I missed you.
How are you feeling?
Much better.
-Hey, listen--
-I want you so bad right now.
I miss our one-on-ones.
Ugh. Tequila breath.
Sorry, babe.
You're a little tipsy.
You know what?
I'm really tired.
Sorry.
No. Keep playing.
No, I was just messing around.
Are you ready for
Secret Island?
How was the bar?
Oh, it was really, really fun.
Yeah.
I love hanging with that crew.
Paz is such a funny dancer.
Paz was there?
That's weird.
Why is it weird?
Paz was here getting the boat
ready for today.
Okay.
And, I saw them,
and I went down there
and then
we had our own experience.
You and Paz?
Yeah.
You and Paz hooked up?
Yeah.
Yeah, like you wanted.
It was...
I was open and
it was awesome.
Wow.
That's okay, right?
Because you told me
you wanted me to--
Yeah.
Yeah. Of course.
Yo!
Okay, here we are,
at private beach
or whatever it's called.
There is the ocean.
And here is Paz.
And there's Drew.
Drew!
Drew.
Give us a smile!
Okay.
That is going to have
to be good enough.
Hey, Teresa, are you upset?
No, no.
Why would I be upset?
Because Drew and I had
our own experience last night.
Which you said was okay.
And you may have mixed
feelings about it,
which is totally fine.
Okay, cool. Well, yeah.
I mean
maybe I did say something
along those lines and
it is fine.
So, sorry if I'm a
bit wound up.
I guess some of us had
a certain sort of
release last night
and some of us didn't.
If you were to take
a scientific poll of
who is the most
relaxed on the island,
it's not going to be me.
That's fine.
I'm sort of over here.
You're sort of over there.
We're the Three Musketeers.
If one of the Musketeers
had been, like,
kicked out of the group
and asked back to some
sort of weird reunion tour.
But no.
I'm good.
Hey, are you hungry?
No. I'm not hungry.
I'm fasting.
Okay, you two need
to figure this out.
Can you just give us a second?
What the hell? Teresa?
Just talk to me.
There's nothing to talk about.
Well, I'm confused
because you said that
you wanted this.
that's exactly what you said--
I don't mean every
single thing that I say.
How am I supposed
to know that?
I would never do
anything to hurt you.
I would never--
Hey!
Where are you going?
You two need to
figure this out!
You're going to just
leave us here?
Great.
Fucking great.
What?
I did something?
Yeah. Literally.
Paz left us stranded here
because we're so
fucking awkward to
be around.
I just think it's funny.
I just think it's funny
that this entire week,
I've been the bad guy
for wanting to do
something with Paz.
I never said that you
were the bad guy
for wanting us to do
something with Paz.
Then meanwhile,
la-de-fucking-da, you and Paz!
This was your idea!
You said I would love for you
to have your own
experience with Paz!
I think it would be
beautiful--
Oh, okay, Mr.
This Is For Us!
That is the only reason
why I agreed
to do the threesome.
God forbid I want anything
outside of this.
You know what?
You didn't want this for us.
You wanted it for you,
and now you're pissed off
because Paz and I
have a connection.
The three of us weren't
enough for you.
You just wanted
your own thing.
You know what?
All this little playing
pretend that we're doing?
It's so blah.
It makes me sick.
This whole thing
makes me sick.
And honestly, Drew?
I feel bad for you.
You just want everyone
to love you.
Is that why you're bending
over backwards for Paz
for the boat driver
for the guy in the
aisle seat?
Everyone?
Why do you make me
feel this way?
You made me feel
bad for just existing.
Apparently, there's
something inherently
wrong with me that you see
and nobody else
in the world sees.
Like
I'm really sorry
that people actually
think I'm a good person.
Maybe there's something
wrong with you, Teresa.
You know what?
You're not the only person
who thinks that about me.
Oh, guess who else
thinks that about me?
I think that about me.
But at least I do the work
to be okay with being
a complicated person,
Keto fasting's not
doing the work.
The videos, it's not work.
And the threesome's
not doing the work.
Okay, well, why don't
you tell yourself
whatever little story
makes you happy, right?
Like, how about our story,
our little meet cute?
Oh, I texted her
and I waited a whole week,
and then she got back to me
right away. Right?
I didn't even save
your number.
I was just drunk
and horny on a shitty date
so I thought,
yeah, why not hook up
with a rando
who I literally
don't remember?
And I show up and
it's the lamp guy.
Yeah, I referred to you
as the lamp guy
to my friends for weeks,
and you just kept
hanging around,
so I thought, sure,
I'll fuck you.
Sure I'll date you.
Sure I'll marry you.
Which was so dumb
because three years
later, I still can't
fucking stand you!
And I'm sorry.
You're right.
I, for whatever reason,
for whatever reason
that I cannot explain,
I cannot figure out a
way to love you.
What is wrong with me?
That I cannot figure out
a way to love you
when the rest of the
fucking world can?
Drew, what are you doing?
Building a shelter.
Oh, my God.
We're stranded on an island
called Secret Island.
Who knows how
long we'll be here?
Okay, well, let me help you.
I don't want your help.
I don't want your stick!
Drew.
Drew!
Don't talk to me.
Drew.
Don't talk to me.
I have nothing to say to you.
Drew!
Our boat is here.
So, how's your day going?
How good does a pia colada
sound right now?
Drew, can we talk about this?
I'm sorry.
My lawyer will be in touch.
Are you seriously
divorcing me right now?
Yes.
I wanna go back
I wanna go back
I wandered
free as the night
And you kissed me hard
Can we stop at Bibi's?
You tasted like gin,
you tasted like life
I'll be right back.
About earlier.
No, no, no, no
need to apologize.
It's okay.
Teresa and I are done.
Oh, fuck. Okay.
And I just wanted to
come check on you.
I know it was a lot.
You just broke up with Teresa.
You're coming to check on me?
Yeah. Yeah!
Drew, I'm okay.
Right.
I'm sorry.
Yeah.
They never believe
when you say
you've seen the
darkness in another
Never wanted it this way
but it's hard to
undiscover
and I know it's alive
and it's okay
eyes are focused
on the clock
dream fade away
cuz it's alive
and it's okay
Paradise...you told
me it would be nice
But we've paid the price
Here in paradise
Heartbreak in the end
Fighting here and there
We can patch these wounds
It all feels too soon
Oh, it's time
to let you go
These ebbing tides
you know I'm right
I have to be free
This gentle breeze
I hear it whispering
Oh, it's time to
let you go
These ebbing tides,
you know I'm right
I have to be free
This gentle breeze
I hear it whispering
Let you go
Let you go
Let you go
When I look at you
I don't know what to do
But my heart senses truth
I'm not ready
to let you go
That I know
Oh, it's time
to let you go
These ebbing tides,
you know I'm right
I have to be free
This gentle breeze
I hear it whispering
Oh, it's time
to let you go
These ebbing tides,
you know I'm right
I have to be free
This gentle breeze
I hear it whispering
Yeah but Teresa and
Drew, though...
I know.
They're...so iconic!
Hi, sorry, excuse me.
Yeah! Where do we
find a Drew?
Teresa?
Hey, how are you?
I- I'm...
Isn't it your wedding day?
Yes.
I just wanted to tell you
that I'm really happy.
And I love Drew.
And I forgive you.
Okay?
I love my husband.
I really--
Drew.
Drew, give us a smile!
You kept me warm
in the winter...
We melted in spring...
Drew here has never
seen The Shining
so--how old are you?
and if I really
tried again
do you think he would
let me back in
I am doing DIY December,
where we are doing--
DIY December!
I hope you find your love
and she treats you well
Hey Drew.
What's it like to lose?
How small is the plane to the
island going to be?
Pretty small.
How small we talking?
Ladies and
gentlemen, we
do have a nut allergy
on board today, so...
- Honeymoon vibes.
- Honeymoon vibes.
Have you seen my--
My husband!
Okay.
An island in Panama!
Our honeymoon.
I love that!
So are you still in a daze
from the wedding?
Oh, we actually got
married a year ago,
but we did the whole
'mini moon' thing.
So this is the 'official'
official honeymoon.
Yeah, and I'm still in a daze.
Do you want a bar?
They're keto. It's like a
keto cookie bar.
I have, like, five of them.
No, I'm good.
So how did you two meet?
Craigslist.
Craigslist?
I was selling a lamp.
Oh!
My nana gave me this lamp
and I didn't have a
place for it
and I was leaning
more into this
Japanese minimalism
aesthetic.
Nana was a maximalist.
And I answered his ad.
Everybody was like,
low balling me.
And I'm like,
'This is my Nana's lamp!'
So Teresa comes in, she
makes the lowest offer, right?
And I couldn't say no.
So, I kept her number...
... and I promised myself
I would not text
her for drinks...
...for a whole week.
- Sir,
are you okay?
And when I did,
she answered right away.
Couldn't say no.
Oh, I love that.
Oh my goodness.
- Is he okay?
- Sir?
Oh my god,
what's happening?
Can
someone--
I got it.
Honey,
you're not a doctor!
He's not a doctor!
Right
there, now.
Oh!
Thank you.
Yeah, yeah.
Peanuts.
Thank you.
No. No, no, no.
Who brings peanuts
on an airplane
after they announce
there's a nut allergy?
Your keto bar!
I mean our keto bar.
Ahem!
Sorry.
It's our honeymoon.
Really nice
meeting you too.
Get me on the ground!
Thank you.
Yeah, it doesn't even say
there are peanuts in here.
Yeah. Look. Says right there:
Prepared in a facility
with nuts.
Where are our bags?
The bags never
made it to Houston.
I knew we shouldn't have
checked them.That's on me.
Oh, that's not your fault.
Besides, we can--
We can go 24 hours
without our stuff.
Life at the equator
is striking.
Oh, that is a hat.
It's good, right?
Hello.
Okay.
Wow. We're buying the hat.
Hello! How's your day--
How's your day going so far?
You really have to chat
with everyone, don't you?
You say something?
No, no. Nothing really.
Woo!
Wow...
She wanted an adventure.
Yes, um...Pinterest...found.
And the Panama
beaches are stunning.
Supposed to be food.
I'll reach out to the
rental guy.
Sunken living room...
Drew, there's a guitar!
Do you see the guitar?
Yeah.
And here is...
...the bathroom.
Wow, look at you.
Actually go back a few.
Okay, stop.
Yes.
I am going to go topless.
Because I'm an
empowered woman.
Yo!
Drew! You said this
is a private beach.
Hello.
-Hello.
-Hi.
Hi.
I'm Paz.
Oh, Paz! Yeah.
Paz?
The rental host.
P-A-Z, Paz.
Oh! Oh, 'Paz'
the name. Love that.
Thank you.
How are you guys
finding the place?
It's great.
Yeah, thanks.
Good.
Sorry to be annoying.
We, um... I think there was
supposed to be, like
food in the house?
Or, like, a lunch prepared?
Part of the welcome package.
- The 'honeymoon package'?
- Oh, yeah.
I told my friends to drop off
some food, but,
you know, 'island time.' We
move at the speed of nature.
Oh, yeah.
Don't worry about it.
We actually already ate.
Yeah, we brought some bars.
Yeah, they're these healthy
bars, they're for women.
Well, they're for anybody.
I mean, they're not gendered.
They're not 'Mrs. Bar,
Mr. Bar.'
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
they're keto, y'know, so...
I don't.
Oh, god, you need to
know keto, 'cause I think
that's probably, like,
the diet here, right?
I promise the food
here is great.
I recommend trying
Bibi's down the beach.
You guys wanna...?
Oh! Okay, Bibi's!
We would love to.
But we were just going
to settle in a bit.
Yeah. Right on.
Well, if you need me,
I live right down the beach.
- Nice to meet you.
- Yeah.
And I appreciate you, Serena.
Thank you.
You have a great night.
Bye bye.
Who's Serena?
It's going to be a
few more days.
The bags are still in Houston.
- Really?
- Yeah.
That's annoying.
Well, they're doing
the best they can.
Well, you could've yelled.
You never yell.
I yell.
- Oh, you do?
- Yes.
You know what?
I am really just tired
from the flight.
Okay.
We don't have to.
No. It's fine.
'It's fine?'
No. I--
- I just mean it's our--
- 'No, it's fine!'
It's our honeymoon.
Oh, 'it's our honeymoon!'
I've heard that before.
Hey! You cannot say that.
I just did.
'It's our honeymoon.'
It is.
Really.
Ladies and gentlemen, put your
hands together for our bride
and groom, Teresa and Drew!
Teresa and I,
we're so grateful
for all of you,
for coming out
to celebrate us.
And now,
Drew has a little surprise
for his bride, Teresa.
A love melody...
sings to me
In your eyes, a symphony
Hold me close to you
underneath the
starry beams
You and I
In lovers' dreams
Dispatches from Paradise.
Dispatches from Paradise.
Good morning.
Breakfast?
Uh, no, I don't--I want to
get back to my wedding weight.
I was actually thinking of
trying intermittent fasting.
- Oh, cool.
- But there's coffee.
Oh. Thank you.
I want to be in my body
and be close to nature.
Awesome.
Like moving at the
speed of nature.
Hey.
Do you want to fast with me?
Like on our honeymoon?
I feel like it's the perfect
time to, like, reset.
It's only in the mornings.
It's intermittent.
Oh, but I work out
in the mornings, and
I think if I
skipped breakfast,
that might be a
little tough for me.
Fine.
We'll eat breakfast.
-Weird.
-What?
Jason just liked that
picture of us.
- Jason?
- Jason Nichols.
He commented too.
He said,
'Great picture, Teresa.'
Just 'Teresa.'
That guy is so nice.
I remember him.
Hi, are you
thinking something to eat?
Yes, yes, I will have the
Breakfast Traditional,
please.
Teresa?
Uno mas pia colada por favor.
And to eat?
I'm fasting.
Como se dice 'fasting?'
How's your day going so far?
It's a
beautiful day.
- Just like every day.
- You are so lucky
to live here--
It's our honeymoon.
Congratulations.
Yeah, well, it's a
delayed honeymoon.
Yeah.
One year I've been
married to this one.
Isn't he handsome?
He is very handsome.
Thank you.
He's a handsome golden boy.
Even my mom has a
crush on him.
And she doesn't even
really like me that much.
Actually, on the plane
ride over here
he saved a man's life. Yeah.
A man who may or may not
have been having
a little reaction
to my keto bar.
We don't know for sure.
We were on the plane, and
this guy's like
'My throat's closing up.'
And Drew was like,
Gimme that EpiPen.'
And then he stabs the man.
And the man was saved.
The man lives because of Drew!
And then everybody
was staring at me
with eyeball daggers, because
I'm the bitch who opened
up the nut bar, which again,
we don't even know
if there were actually
peanut traces in there.
But after the entire plane
has practically applauded him
and given him the
Medal of Honor
he decides to say
that it is our keto bar.
He takes the blame.
Are you okay?
What? I'm telling a
funny story.
Everybody's laughing.
He took the blame
for our keto bar.
I'm sorry.
- What's wrong?
- Nothing.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
I feel like you're mad at me.
I'm not mad.
I'm not mad.
Am I allowed to be feeling
something other than jovial?
I mean, this is going to be a
week-long vacation,
and I'm allowed to be feeling
something other than happy.
In fact, right now
I'm relaxed.
I'm relaxing.
Okay, good. Good.
What happened on the plane
does sound obnoxious.
Yeah, it was.
Sorry.
-Don't apologize.
-No, I shouldn't have snapped.
Is there anything that
I can do to make it right?
No, no.
You're good.
You're so--
That's a good one.
What are you laughing at?
Your hat!
Your ironic fisherman hat.
Are you not wearing
that hat to make me laugh?
I see what you're saying.
I shouldn't have tried
to take credit
for the keto bar.
Okay, but even that,
even saying that, like,
can you just try not
to be so good for once?
Does that make sense?
I mean, we've been
married a year now.
Are we different?
Do you feel different?
We just got married.
We're still the same people.
Taxes are different.
- Like when you're
talking about Alan--
- Jason.
Yes. Jason. Okay.
A lot of guys would be
weirded out by that.
I'm not going to
put that on you.
That is weird to me.
I'm saying if we were
to look back, would we be like
yes, we lived all out.
We lived full lives.
Does that make sense?
It does. And...
... I will try.
I want to try.
I just hear 'honeymoon'
and suddenly I feel
like, this weight.
Like, suddenly, like,
this needs to be
like, the best week
of our lives.
Like an adventure.
Yes! Yes, like an adventure!
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
We're on the most adventurous
vacation of our
entire friend group.
I don't know. I'm confused.
And it's a lot of pressure.
No, no, no, no,
there's no pressure, okay?
There's no pressure.
It's just our honeymoon.
But there is a
lot of pressure.
Oh my God.
Come here.
I do feel seen by you.
I do, I do.
I see you.
Like, I see you.
And I see you seeing me. I
do. I see you seeing me, I do.
I really love it when
you tell me these things.
I really do.
Okay, that can sometimes
be hard for me.
I feel really, really good.
I do. Just to be able to
talk, you know?
Good morning!
- I told you my friends
always come through.
Are y'all getting hungry?
Brunch is just about ready.
'Honeymoon package.'
-We're fasting--
-Do you want to join us?
Yeah, I do.
When I got here,
I was like,
I need to be by the
jungle always.
But I need to be
by the ocean too.
And I feel like here on Bocas
I get the best of both worlds.
- You can have it all.
- If you have balance.
That really, really
resonates with me.
I knew I needed
something for me
outside of work, outside of
the rise-and-grind culture.
And so I was like,
'I'm taking back Mondays.'
But like, what does that
mean actually, right?
And so I was like, okay,
Sunday scaries, no sleep,
Monday fog, caffeine fix.
So I decided to make my
morning coffee
a practice of self-care.
Skip the Blue Bottle,
brew at home.
I started doing it every day
and I realized
I do have the discipline.
And I got control over myself.
And I think it was
that mental obstacle, that
hurdle of doing it every day
that changed my life forever.
Yeah, that is balance.
Yeah.
How about you?
How do you find balance?
Oh, I work out
in the mornings.
I'm a podcast engineer,
and it's a lot of sitting.
Working out helps me focus
and stay balanced.
You're in your head right now.
Take this.
A rock.
It's not just a rock.
It's a special rock.
So whenever you have anxiety
or something's coming up
you can hold it or play
with it or whatever you want.
But I used to have
the same thing, so I get it.
Well, I, uh...I don't want
to take your special rock.
No, it's your rock now.
Seriously.
I'll be right back.
I'm going to go get
myself a new rock.
Okay, listen.
Remember when we were
talking about trying
something new
for our adventure?
Okay? Hear me out.
Don't react until I finish.
Okay.
What if we seduced Paz?
- The rental host?
- Mm-hm.
Are you serious?
Yeah.
I mean, we're both
clearly attracted to them,
and, like, there's
a connection.
I mean, this is our
honeymoon, right?
And it's a safe
space to do it.
And, you know,
we didn't anticipate it,
which I think is really good.
Yeah.
I mean, it sounds like a lot.
Yeah, but--okay,
don't you want to
jumpstart things
and, like, reset things?
I mean, we're setting
the table for the
rest of our lives,
and I--we
want an adventure.
Okay, okay.
To be clear, you're saying
you just want to have
a threesome here,
and we're not opening
our relationship?
Yeah, a threesome.
But, if you and Paz wanted
to have your own experience,
I'd support that.
Like, I think that
would be beautiful.
A threesome? For us?
Yeah, for us.
You know,
I don't--I don't--
I don't know--
Gotta have your rock.
I don't think so.
Hey, that was an awesome meal.
- Oh, oh, yeah. For sure.
- This was really great.
Ah, nope, nope, nope, nope.
I got this.
We're going to clean up.
You've been amazing.
We're going to write
a great review.
Oh, and the rock too.
- Oh, right on.
- And you rock!
Thank you. Yeah.
All right. Right on.
Well, if you need me,
I'm just up the beach.
Great. Thanks a lot.
Yeah.
Paz!
Yeah. What's up?
Can we pay you to
show us a good time?
I mean, like a good time--
Like a good time
around the islands?
Because we were going
to be here for
3 or 4 days.
We just want an--
We want an adventure
around the islands.
Just like a tour guide.
Yeah,
only a tour guide.
You don't have to put us
to bed or anything or, like
babysit us, you know?
But, uh...shows that I'm
compromising and I'm open.
Yeah.
For sure. No. We could--
I'm totally down
We can go to Paki Point
and there's the mangroves.
I can take you guys
to Secret Island.
Secret Island?
Yeah!
It's this island
no one really knows about.
And it's fucking sick.
Great.
So the owner
was like, 'Hey, Paz!
why don't you just
keep an eye on things?
I'll pay you.'
So it kind of just worked out.
Sometimes things just...
work out!
Yeah, sometimes things
just work out.
Like how we met.
On Craigslist.
I was selling my Nana's lamp.
Didn't really fit
in my place--
You would sell your
grandma's lamp?
Well,
I was leaning into a more
Japanese aesthetic.
And Nana was more
of a maximalist.
Teresa answered the ad.
And, a lot of people
were low balling me.
And then she comes in and
she offers me the
lowest number, right?
And I couldn't say no because
she's a good negotiator.
Cool!
Let's go for a swim?
Yeah!
Yeah, it's magical.
I mean, there's, like,
fireflies everywhere.
And, um...I don't know why
people shit all over the
Midwest. It's the best.
I'm trying to remember
why I was there...
My cousin lover.
But it was winter, so there
were no lightning bugs.
Your cousin lover?
Yeah.
My cousin Sammi.
At the time, we were dating.
You were dating your cousin?
Yeah.
Like second cousin?
No, first.
It's very common for cousins
to marry and have children.
It's actually a Western
constructed taboo
that's pretty damaging
to a normal
and acceptable practice.
Super western.
Hola Armodio! Qu tl?
Hey!
- Cmo ests?
- Bien, bien.
- Hola!
- Hola.
Teresa.
Drew. Armodio.
How you doing?
Muy bien.
I mean, wow, this is
Secret Island? Wow.
Oh, no.
No, this isn't Secret Island.
No, I got to get
to know you a little
better before we go
to Secret Island.
Ooh, tough luck!
Woo! Come on, babe!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Wow, babe!
Paz, I thought you
said you played soccer!
Oh, c'mon!
Give me a minute!
Okay, if I were
a fruit, what would I be?
A coconut.
Okay, what would Drew be?
Um...
Are you saying I'm round?
No! No, coconuts
are sweet!
Where'd you get that?
Oh, yeah.
My dad gave it to me.
It's an Albanian eagle. Dads
usually give it to their sons,
but my dad gave it to me.
not my brothers.
Why? Because
you're his favorite?
Probably.
Watch your step.
- Thanks.
- I got you.
Yeah, we're still
waiting on the bags from
from Houston, but, it's
actually pretty liberating.
Who needs more than
one outfit? Right? I mean...
Who needs clothes
at all?
Yeah, I only
have two shirts.
How'd you choose your name,
by the way?
'Paz'?
It means 'peace.'
So you just woke up one day
and decided you wanted
to be named 'Peace'?
That's exactly what happened!
Okay, well, if you can
change your name, I can too.
You can! You can change
it right now.
Okay.
my name is Coco.
Because of the coconuts?
No.
We're moving at the
speed of nature around here.
Oh my god.
Oh my god!
Here you go.
- Thanks.
- Yeah. For sure.
So, what kind of podcasts
do you work on?
Conversation, mostly.
True crime,
pop culture, sports.
Right on. You like true crime?
Not really. No.
Do you?
Fuck no!
I used to be in music.
No bills are paid that way.
But the skills carry over
into podcasting.
Right.
And I do get to play a
little bit with the
true crime stuff, like,
I'll add creepy music
and mess with the levels.
I don't think they
notice though.
Probably not.
On other shows,
the hosts are like
semi-famous people
acting like they're saying
something important to
build their brands
so they don't have to
podcast anymore.
Oh, fuck.
That's depressing.
So you play an instrument?
You guys, look!
It's so cute.
What are they saying?
That cat's got scabies.
Oh my god.
No, Teresa. Cat scabies.
They don't bite humans.
God, I love that woman.
They don't bite humans.
Teresa, come on.
I can feel it!
Your wife is fucking crazy.
What the fuck?!
It's good.
Thank you so much.
I'll see you later.
Hey guys, the boat is ready.
Need help?
You seen my hat?
Hey!
Excuse me.
That's my hat.
That's mine.
It's his hat now.
I traded it for this.
- What?
- It was a special rock
and he really wanted
you to have it.
But I was like, 'Drew's not
gonna take a rock from a kid.'
So I gave him your hat.
Besides, your wife
hates the hat.
Do you wanna join us
for a drink tonight?
Of course.
- What better way
to end the day?
What do you mean?
We're going dancing tonight!
My Kiki! What's up?
How are you? This is Drew.
- Hi.
- Teresa, this is my Kiki.
So nice to meet you.
So,'My Kiki,' what brought
you to Bocas?
No, just 'Kiki.'
Paz loves nicknames.
Tell them.
- No...
- Come on, come on.
Well, I was out here
for a certain reality
TV show filming
on an island out here.
Yes, yes, that one.
And I was really excited.
Of course.
And, I mean, it's super
competitive to even get on,
so I didn't care if they
cast me as the villain.
I was just so ready.
And, um...
It's okay.
I was voted off
the first night.
Oh, yikes.
It's okay.
You put yourself out there,
and I think that is so big.
Thanks babe.
So big.
And I love that you're
someone who would do that.
I appreciate that.
It's just--
I don't know if Paz
understands completely
because I don't know if you've
even seen a reality TV show.
I haven't.
Not once.
What?
Well, the only thing worse
than being the villain is
being the one
no one remembers.
So I decided to stay in town
to decompress
and wallow a bit, and
Paz found me at Coquitos
drowning my sorrows.
I still think that
is just so cool.
I would love to be
on a show like that.
You should! Right?
I mean, you've got the
strength. Obviously.
And the social game, which
is pretty much most of it.
I'm gonna re-up.
My drink. Does anybody
want another drink?
Oh no, I'm still
working on mine.
Thanks, though.
Thank you.
So what brings you
guys to the island?
- I'm gonna be right back.
- Okay. Yeah.
It is our honeymoon.
- Your honeymoon?
- Yeah.
Oh my gosh!
Congratulations!
The happy couple!
Yes. I have questions.
Oh, please fire away.
You like-a da sour?
Ew!
I like-a da sour.
How long have you and
'My Kiki' been together?
Oh, we're not together.
We just enjoy
each other's company.
Okay, I figured,
which is fine, obviously.
Why wouldn't it be fine?
I don't blame you for staying.
This place is so beautiful.
I mean, it is. It really is.
I mean, it's amazing.
But I didn't stay here
for the island.
I stayed here for
buried treasure.
-What?
-Yeah!
Yeah. No.
I'm serious.
There's buried treasure
all over this island.
Here, try this.
You're going to spit it out.
You like it?
Okay. I don't. Disgusting!
All right. Let's dance.
The history and the
adventure and the exploring!
-It's just--
-Incredible.
Yes!
Guess what?
We're going to the
Secret Island tomorrow.
What's that!
Oh my God!
I don't like things
that crawl!
Look, it won't do
anything. It's just a crab.
Oh, I love this song!
Oh, hey, drinks on me.
Okay. Paz and Kiki,
they're just friends.
Very friendly friends.
What about Kiki?
I don't know.
What about Kiki?
Come on. You know.
Oh, no. No. Okay.
No! Come on,
I was open to Paz
because you're attracted
to them.
Why don't you just
be open to Kiki?
Oh, I don't know, Drew.
It's--I don't know.
The energy is not there.
I found a connection with Paz.
Okay? Took a beat.
But we're on vacation.
Like, this is a safe space
for us to explore together.
Don't laugh!
You know you want to!
Our adventure.
Okay.
Okay, fine. Maybe.
Paz said they're going
to pick us up tomorrow
morning and take us to
breakfast on the ocean.
I mean, do you feel that
chemistry with Paz?
Because I see it
between you two.
I mean, it is electric.
It's like we're alive.
And Secret Island is clearly
where they go to fool around.
You saw the look on Kiki's
face when Paz said that.
What do you think it's going
to be like with Paz?
Are you mad about Kiki?
When we go to Secret Island
it's going to be like this.
And this.
You're going to do
this to both
me and Paz at the same time?
Yes.
And this...
And this...
And this...
You're awake.
What time is it?
I have no idea.
Hey, what if we
didn't sleep with Paz?
-What?
-Yeah.
I just feel like I sort of
forced you into it, and...
I don't know.
Let's just stick to the plan.
For us.
Our adventure.
Right, right.
Okay, I'm going to
go make coffee.
Big day.
Secret Island.
Secret Island.
How is it?
It's good.
Come in!
Who's ready for Secret Island?
Oh, we are!
Yes.
No way.
I told you I got you.
You didn't have to do this.
No, I did, and it is
a Panama hat,
they're just made in Ecuador.
It's a common misconception.
Oh, you look so cute.
Okay, so I have a picnic
packed up here,
a special picnic.
We have some arts and crafts.
I love arts and crafts!
And a lot of water.
Love water.
And the thing about Secret
Island, when we get there,
we're going to have to--
Oh my God.
What's wrong?
Oh my God, oh my God,
oh my God.
Did you get bit?
No, nothing. It's fine. Fuck!
No no it's--
No, it's fine, it's fine!
What it is,
what happened?
My ring!
I had it on on the porch
and it was on my finger
and then I came out
here to the ocean
and then I stuck my hands
down in the ground
because I was
grounding myself!
It might be buried.
Just dig. Just dig!
You're sure it was right here?
Yes!
Oh I was so stupid!
That was so stupid!
What do we do?
It's okay, it's okay!
I'm so sorry.
It's okay.
No. I'm not good.
Don't say that.
I'm not.
I love you so much.
I'm not good.
No, don't say that.
It's going to be okay.
I know.
Guys.
I'm so sorry.
The last metal detector
on the island went missing
six years ago.
I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.
Fuck.
Is there anything
I can do for you?
We should go inside.
Yeah.
You've been trying
to seduce me this whole time.
No...
No!
Okay, well, yes.
That's fine.
We have a connection.
You know what would make
this even better?
What?
Breakfast in bed.
Hey, we'll help.
No, I got it. Yeah.
I feel so present.
- Like, so in my body.
- Yeah. That's good.
I've been trying to be, like,
more in my body and just
more in myself in general
Like, for example,
in my morning routine,
I wake up,
I do my morning pages,
I write three things
I'm grateful for, three things
I wish I can improve upon,
and three intentions
I have for the day.
I just find if I'm not
staying grateful
I end up being in this
really negative headspace
which just sort of accelerates
me to be more in my body.
Whoa.
So you do all that so
you can be present?
Yeah, yeah.
All the time.
I want you to be
present with me.
I don't think I could do that.
May I?
What do you feel?
I feel your hands.
What do you see?
I see your eyes.
How do you feel?
I feel safe.
You'll find you'll
surprise yourself
when you quiet yourself.
Breakfast on the
upper deck!
Man, I am so full.
But I can't stop eating.
I love your pancakes, Drew.
I'm really good at
making pancakes.
Should we do a check in?
Oh, yeah. Sure.
Yeah, well, I can go first.
So we just
engaged in an intimate
experience together,
and I feel very good about it.
Well, I feel good.
I feel really good.
I'm surprised at how
good I feel.
And um...
I feel more connected
with you.
So thank you, Paz.
That make me really
happy to hear.
Teresa?
Oh um...I feel...like
I have to pee.
Are you happy now?
Life is...
moving.
At the speed of nature.
What's in the pancakes?
I am...
happy.
I'm really, really happy.
Good.
Flour...
Sugar...
Eggs...
Milk...
Chocolate.
Chocolate?
From your bag.
That's not chocolate
chocolate.
It's not chocolate-
chocolate?
It's magic chocolate.
Oh my God!
The gap in the teeth
leads to the heart!
It's all a map!
Albert Einstein's second wife
Elsa was his first cousin.
Oh my God!
Their mothers were sisters and
their fathers
were first cousins.
Oh my God!
Can you imagine how hard
it must be to balance
mother in laws
who are also sisters?
On top of maintaining his
relationship with Elsa?
I love my husband.
I love his jokes.
They're funny.
They are funny.
You know what?
What?
I have to love people right
where they are.
You got to love people right
where they are, Drew.
I've got your back!
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy!
Oh, shit!
I drugged us!
I drugged us on accident!
Woah...
Take yourself into
the unknown
Take yourself into
Guys...
Woah!
Let me see it.
Oh fuck.
Oh fuck!
That's awesome.
Jeez!
This is, like, the
best thing I've ever eaten.
What are the plans
for tonight?
I need to dance.
Oh you know what?
I need to dance, too.
Let's dance.
I'm going to meet up
with some friends,
but y'all should definitely
have some fun.
Oh, yeah.
Good. Yeah.
That's great, actually.
I've been wanting some
solo time with you.
Yeah. That's good.
That's a good idea.
All right, well,
if you need me,
you know where I live.
Right down the beach.
Alright...
Bye!
Bye!
They're so funny.
This'll be nice.
No, I am
glad we chose here.
Yeah, it's been so...
You okay?
Yeah.
Woah! What
the fuck was that?
It's just a crab.
It's a crab--it's okay!
Run away!
The thing is, I feel
like if I'm moving,
then things can't bite me.
Does that make sense?
So I just feel like
we need to go dancing.
Yeah. Let's just--
Let's go dancing.
Are you okay?
Drew?
Are you sure
you're okay?
Yes. You go
without me.
Don't deny your
dancing mood.
Okay.
I'll be dancing here in bed.
Good night.
Um, hola.
Hi!
Un tequila y soda por favor.
Tequila soda.
Yes.
Con lime.
Right now.
Hola John, qu tl?
Hey, Kiki.
Hola. Cmo ests?
Bien. Y t?
Excelente.
Love that.
Hi.
How was your day?
Oh, it was, it was great.
Thanks. Yeah.
That's great.
Do you hate yourself?
No. I don't hate myself.
What kind of question is that?
Oh. Right.
I'm just wondering.
I was just wondering.
You see, I was on
this reality TV show.
Yes, I know.
Right.
Sorry.
I just figure you
have to hate yourself
to put yourself on a
show like that.
But at least now I know
I hate myself, and
I'm working on it.
And I think someday
I will like myself.
That's great, Kiki, that
you're doing all that work.
but I like myself, so...
I don't really think that
pertains to me.
That's good.
Pepto. Thank you God.
You know, I saw
you guys earlier.
You and Paz and Drew.
Oh.
Yeah.
But that's okay.
I mean, I'm super used
to it by now.
That's kind of Paz's thing.
You know? Sleeping with
couples here on vacation.
And it's funny because
they all think it's like
this magical, unique
thing, but it's not.
Being with Paz alone
though, that's different.
That's special.
They let very few people in.
One on one. Like that.
Um...
Okay, thank you.
I have to go.
Okay. Do you, um...
I can have my
own experience.
I don't hate myself.
Paz.
Oh, sorry.
Paz?
Hey.
How was your night?
Yo!
I was just packing so
we could go first thing.
Oh, great. Awesome.
Do you want to have a beer?
Is it cold?
You're quiet.
I just feel at ease
when I'm around you.
So you like me?
I'm sorry.
Teresa's just in my head,
and I can't stop thinking...
I thought that
I was standing on
something solid.
But now I think that I'm
the only one that felt that.
She said that she wanted us
to have our own experience.
You and me.
I know you think I'm crazy
but I'm not.
This door's jammed.
You have fun?
It was really, really fun.
I missed you.
How are you feeling?
Much better.
-Hey, listen--
-I want you so bad right now.
I miss our one-on-ones.
Ugh. Tequila breath.
Sorry, babe.
You're a little tipsy.
You know what?
I'm really tired.
Sorry.
No. Keep playing.
No, I was just messing around.
Are you ready for
Secret Island?
How was the bar?
Oh, it was really, really fun.
Yeah.
I love hanging with that crew.
Paz is such a funny dancer.
Paz was there?
That's weird.
Why is it weird?
Paz was here getting the boat
ready for today.
Okay.
And, I saw them,
and I went down there
and then
we had our own experience.
You and Paz?
Yeah.
You and Paz hooked up?
Yeah.
Yeah, like you wanted.
It was...
I was open and
it was awesome.
Wow.
That's okay, right?
Because you told me
you wanted me to--
Yeah.
Yeah. Of course.
Yo!
Okay, here we are,
at private beach
or whatever it's called.
There is the ocean.
And here is Paz.
And there's Drew.
Drew!
Drew.
Give us a smile!
Okay.
That is going to have
to be good enough.
Hey, Teresa, are you upset?
No, no.
Why would I be upset?
Because Drew and I had
our own experience last night.
Which you said was okay.
And you may have mixed
feelings about it,
which is totally fine.
Okay, cool. Well, yeah.
I mean
maybe I did say something
along those lines and
it is fine.
So, sorry if I'm a
bit wound up.
I guess some of us had
a certain sort of
release last night
and some of us didn't.
If you were to take
a scientific poll of
who is the most
relaxed on the island,
it's not going to be me.
That's fine.
I'm sort of over here.
You're sort of over there.
We're the Three Musketeers.
If one of the Musketeers
had been, like,
kicked out of the group
and asked back to some
sort of weird reunion tour.
But no.
I'm good.
Hey, are you hungry?
No. I'm not hungry.
I'm fasting.
Okay, you two need
to figure this out.
Can you just give us a second?
What the hell? Teresa?
Just talk to me.
There's nothing to talk about.
Well, I'm confused
because you said that
you wanted this.
that's exactly what you said--
I don't mean every
single thing that I say.
How am I supposed
to know that?
I would never do
anything to hurt you.
I would never--
Hey!
Where are you going?
You two need to
figure this out!
You're going to just
leave us here?
Great.
Fucking great.
What?
I did something?
Yeah. Literally.
Paz left us stranded here
because we're so
fucking awkward to
be around.
I just think it's funny.
I just think it's funny
that this entire week,
I've been the bad guy
for wanting to do
something with Paz.
I never said that you
were the bad guy
for wanting us to do
something with Paz.
Then meanwhile,
la-de-fucking-da, you and Paz!
This was your idea!
You said I would love for you
to have your own
experience with Paz!
I think it would be
beautiful--
Oh, okay, Mr.
This Is For Us!
That is the only reason
why I agreed
to do the threesome.
God forbid I want anything
outside of this.
You know what?
You didn't want this for us.
You wanted it for you,
and now you're pissed off
because Paz and I
have a connection.
The three of us weren't
enough for you.
You just wanted
your own thing.
You know what?
All this little playing
pretend that we're doing?
It's so blah.
It makes me sick.
This whole thing
makes me sick.
And honestly, Drew?
I feel bad for you.
You just want everyone
to love you.
Is that why you're bending
over backwards for Paz
for the boat driver
for the guy in the
aisle seat?
Everyone?
Why do you make me
feel this way?
You made me feel
bad for just existing.
Apparently, there's
something inherently
wrong with me that you see
and nobody else
in the world sees.
Like
I'm really sorry
that people actually
think I'm a good person.
Maybe there's something
wrong with you, Teresa.
You know what?
You're not the only person
who thinks that about me.
Oh, guess who else
thinks that about me?
I think that about me.
But at least I do the work
to be okay with being
a complicated person,
Keto fasting's not
doing the work.
The videos, it's not work.
And the threesome's
not doing the work.
Okay, well, why don't
you tell yourself
whatever little story
makes you happy, right?
Like, how about our story,
our little meet cute?
Oh, I texted her
and I waited a whole week,
and then she got back to me
right away. Right?
I didn't even save
your number.
I was just drunk
and horny on a shitty date
so I thought,
yeah, why not hook up
with a rando
who I literally
don't remember?
And I show up and
it's the lamp guy.
Yeah, I referred to you
as the lamp guy
to my friends for weeks,
and you just kept
hanging around,
so I thought, sure,
I'll fuck you.
Sure I'll date you.
Sure I'll marry you.
Which was so dumb
because three years
later, I still can't
fucking stand you!
And I'm sorry.
You're right.
I, for whatever reason,
for whatever reason
that I cannot explain,
I cannot figure out a
way to love you.
What is wrong with me?
That I cannot figure out
a way to love you
when the rest of the
fucking world can?
Drew, what are you doing?
Building a shelter.
Oh, my God.
We're stranded on an island
called Secret Island.
Who knows how
long we'll be here?
Okay, well, let me help you.
I don't want your help.
I don't want your stick!
Drew.
Drew!
Don't talk to me.
Drew.
Don't talk to me.
I have nothing to say to you.
Drew!
Our boat is here.
So, how's your day going?
How good does a pia colada
sound right now?
Drew, can we talk about this?
I'm sorry.
My lawyer will be in touch.
Are you seriously
divorcing me right now?
Yes.
I wanna go back
I wanna go back
I wandered
free as the night
And you kissed me hard
Can we stop at Bibi's?
You tasted like gin,
you tasted like life
I'll be right back.
About earlier.
No, no, no, no
need to apologize.
It's okay.
Teresa and I are done.
Oh, fuck. Okay.
And I just wanted to
come check on you.
I know it was a lot.
You just broke up with Teresa.
You're coming to check on me?
Yeah. Yeah!
Drew, I'm okay.
Right.
I'm sorry.
Yeah.
They never believe
when you say
you've seen the
darkness in another
Never wanted it this way
but it's hard to
undiscover
and I know it's alive
and it's okay
eyes are focused
on the clock
dream fade away
cuz it's alive
and it's okay
Paradise...you told
me it would be nice
But we've paid the price
Here in paradise
Heartbreak in the end
Fighting here and there
We can patch these wounds
It all feels too soon
Oh, it's time
to let you go
These ebbing tides
you know I'm right
I have to be free
This gentle breeze
I hear it whispering
Oh, it's time to
let you go
These ebbing tides,
you know I'm right
I have to be free
This gentle breeze
I hear it whispering
Let you go
Let you go
Let you go
When I look at you
I don't know what to do
But my heart senses truth
I'm not ready
to let you go
That I know
Oh, it's time
to let you go
These ebbing tides,
you know I'm right
I have to be free
This gentle breeze
I hear it whispering
Oh, it's time
to let you go
These ebbing tides,
you know I'm right
I have to be free
This gentle breeze
I hear it whispering