I Survived A Zombie Holocaust (2014) Movie Script
Where are they?
- They could be anywhere.
Stay close to me.
I protect you.
Run!
Where are we going?
Keep moving.
This way.
Look!
- We are saved.
They come through it.
I see.
Bring it on!
Get behind me!
Brains!
- You like brain, h??
Well, then it eats it.
You have no ammunition.
Not quite.
Ready?
- A little!
Drop dead!
Ready?
- I need more time.
Why do you, not your mouth?
Come on, now!
You know, I'm glad you
have come back from the dead.
Because that means that I
you have to kill again.
What the hell...?
You told me that I this shit
would not get me.
Cut!
Day 3:
Recordings on location of a
New Zealand's low budget "B" horror movie.
"TONIGHT THEY COME"
Look at me.
I'm full of the filth.
I have to throw up again.
Why another perfect
Recording ru? ning, Jessica?
What this is really about...
Maybe it's your attraction
to...
Stanley...
These are unworkable conditions.
What if I got it in my eye?
What if he his phlegm in my
eye had shot?
Slime!
I have more respect
being treated.
Right. Of course.
Why do not you sit?
We will clean you.
Richard!
He is... coming...
Yes, S.M.P.
Stalk me that!
Who the hell has Jessica's place
put so close to the mucus.
Well, everyone does basically everything,
within the limited budget.
You know what this movie
means to me, Richard?
Your baby.
- It's my baby.
I make here for a
birth, Richard.
I'm giving birth,
So do not tell me what's going wrong.
Rub only on my stomach and help
I give birth to my beautiful baby.
It's just a zombie movie.
What?
- I mean, no. I'm working on it.
Harrold!
Yes.
- Where is my new end?
Sir...
Almost finished.
- Good.
Flicker then!
So, there we were.
The big finale.
Winner will be the top team
of the island.
We are just before the match.
Nobody said a word,
but when I looked into their eyes...
I could see that they were scared.
Tane, where is that new runner
I've asked for.
Has not yet shown up, Rich.
Ok?, find out where that remains.
Yes.
- Yes.
This is it.
Your big chance.
Be ready to impress.
Tane, right? The location manager.
We spoke on the phone.
You must be the new runner?
- Yes that's me.
I'm Wesley.
You are late.
Well...
Then they said that it was remote,
I did not realize it was so far.
You're lost.
- A few times.
I tried to call.
- Yes, there is almost no coverage here.
Do you need such a thing?
You're going to meet the director.
My own intercom, what an honor.
It's my first time on a film set.
I just finished film school.
Yes.
I see myself first and foremost
as scriptwriter.
Remember, the people here on the set,
you first see as their servant.
What?
You trolley fell over.
I am very...
- Ineptly?
No... What?
Throw you always other people's stuff?
- No, I mean, I have not done.
Come, let me help you.
Stop Susan's stuff
to throw.
You're just five seconds
on the set and I'm already worse.
Sorry, I...
- Now!
Ok?. Susan Day.
- Now!
Look out, little sucker rosewater.
- Calm down, Randy.
That is the props master.
Try to stay away from him.
At the very food.
To BARN SE Ok?, listen. You start at the bottom.
Call Stanley, always S.M.P.
And remember the pecking order.
- And that is?
That each other in this production
is more important than you.
Now, you see that guy, where
S.M.P. shouts against?
The one who looks as if he
is painful to shit.
You're not worth motherfuckers!
- That's it. Driver.
He is the first AD. You set
ask him and me.
And each other,
which tells you to do something.
Ok?, but what is my task?
- Your task...
is to do everything,
what one wants to do.
Try not to get fired.
Good luck, young.
Layoffs?
Sorry, Stanley.
I feel very bad.
Something is wrong.
If you go back to the village,
look...
Who the hell is this misfit?
Where is the runner, I asked for?
This is the new runner.
I'm Wesley.
Wesley Pennington, it's a big...
That makes me no balls out.
Go with Clive to the village and
find out what ails him.
What the hell!
- Ok?.
Are you okay?
I made the mistake to eat
at the pub last night.
Since then I feel like I'm dying.
The Zombies are coming!
- What?
Jesus Christ Greg, not now.
My name is Greg.
My name is Dr. Herbert White.
Head scientist working
at the "C virus".
There has been an outbreak.
- I'm not playing now, Greg. I have pain.
Go bother someone else.
- The zombies are coming!
We are all in danger!
- Who was that?
Greg Winston.
- Greg Winston? I did not recognize him.
He's been here for six weeks
to study his role.
He continues to walk around in his role,
even if the cameras are not running.
He is totally...
- Confused?
Doorgedraaid.
Come on, let's go.
Hi. Can you recommend a doctor for my
Call a friend. He's very sick.
I can not, I'm afraid.
Too busy.
You do not understand, he must return.
He is needed for filming today.
Let him wait for his turn,
just like everyone else.
This disease has struck the city.
They say something bad in there
water supply has come.
Besides, I feel myself also not so fit.
I'll be with you.
My husband has a lot of pain.
He can barely talk.
Look, go and lie down.
Waiting for the doctor.
I'll be back, ok??
Ok?.
Look...
This should be something unprofessional,
but...
Would you like to look at my script?
I know.
That make us more often.
Do not reject it immediately.
I do not want to give away...
but there is a great
foreign character,
that's right up your street.
I just leave it behind.
Sign up, Richard.
Yeah, you're behind what happened to
Clive is going on?
No, but I do not think he
yet is acting today.
The whole village has apparently
suffer from the same, so...
The doctor does not have time.
Cunt! Ok?,'ll be back as soon as possible.
- Yes sir.
Hey?
Hey?
Who was already there, I think.
That is OK?.
The insurance covers though.
- No! Help!
Just go...
Go back!
No do not do that!
Do not come any closer!
Everthing allright?
But of course.
Who are you?
I'm Wesley, the new runner.
I heard shouting and
thought that there was an emergency.
No, I just read what new rules
the dialogue aloud.
They are terrible, of course.
Nobody speaks, but...
S.M. damn P. wishes
another end.
What happened to the...
bold original horror film,
we would make together.
How is it in such a worthless
changed dud?
I know exactly where you come from.
I actually write
my own zombie movie.
Are you a writer?
- Ben just finished film school.
Greetings, student of the page.
Well, we need writers
each stand half.
Maybe I can give you some
give directions.
Yeah, I mean...
That would be amazing.
You see, Wesley, there is inspiration
all around you.
Let me give you an example.
A spoiled princess.
Blessed with great beauty.
Her appearance makes her an object
For the desires of others, but...
If no one can see through it,
how they ever get those fair
admiration and respect,
which requires them yourself?
The king...
a crumbling kingdom.
Struggling to stay in power.
Is he a misunderstood genius?
Or an enthusiastic crazy?
The Prophet.
A small storyteller.
Or is he just a storyteller
great stories?
Can you follow it?
Yes, but I do not see the difference between
Borrowing movies or real life.
Because those movies someone else's ideas
of reality, not your own.
Great stories come from yourself.
From there.
So Wesley...
What will your story be?
Ok?, yes.
Let's just...
Gosh!
- Do it.
Time for me to move on,
Before the king my head.
H?, runner boy!
H?, I mean, h?.
I mean...
H?, I'm Wesley, the runner boy.
The runner, but actually I see
myself as a writer.
Yes? I see myself more as an actress,
I do this until I get a good role.
Oh, you're an actress? I can see
why, because your face is good.
I mean, you have a good there
face before, before acting.
The camera would you
keep face.
And there's nothing wrong with your body.
It is a good body and face.
Beautiful. More than beautiful.
Beautiful.
Sexy.
Well formed.
The two together? The camera would
to love it, all two.
Yes.
Clive is in order?
- Yes. I mean, no.
Well...
Did they say,
what's wrong with him?
According to him it was a bad
meal in the pub.
Thank God. I thought that
I had cooked already bad.
Again?
- Shit!
Do not tell anyone, I said it.
- No, I would not do.
Half of the crew thinks,
that I want to poison.
What? With this?
Are you kidding?
This looks...
delicious.
- So you want some?
Yes.
You know, I thought maybe...
Maybe what?
Maybe, I'm going to sit there and
enjoy this delicious food.
Ok?, do.
Weirdo.
Who said you could sit here?
- No, I'll go away.
Come on, Randy.
Leave him alone.
Let me tell you my story?
Relax, madhouse.
He's not even real.
It is made of high quality
polystyrene. Look?
I adore but what about you.
You morons are so
stupid and silly.
As I said:
The grand finale, five minutes to go,
10 points behind.
Shit, not again.
Yes, we know, you scored the touchdown.
You won the game, yes.
Blew each other in the shower.
You fucked to celebrate.
What a tale!
Why do not you get yourself yet
a piece of pie, curling violin.
Well, I'd rather blow my brains in,
then listen to this bullshit.
It's not even real football.
Muthafucka!
Anyway...
We fought largely
a losing battle.
Note you?
They scored twice
and we had no answer.
With less than three minutes
on the clock,
it seemed impossible.
But then... out of nowhere...
Hit it fast, from the kickoff.
They gave me the ball.
I threw a pass.
Winny Gracer has space.
He dashed past the line...
and scored in the corner.
The try is scored. There are only
two minutes to go and three points behind.
I tackle from kickoff.
We get a penalty.
A shot on goal,
provides us with a tie on.
Or, we can try running.
To win the contest.
Who said you could take a break?
How long have you been back?
Not long, I just got here.
- He has the cook get up horny.
No, I did not.
I no horny people.
We just had a conversation.
Give this to Greg and make sure,
he reads this time.
Once you've done that, find Harold and
see if he has down the new ending.
I know you've heard rumors,
he experimented on real bodies,
which he has managed to dig.
But do not worry, it's not true.
We never saw him
let do experiments.
It's not safe out there.
The zombies are coming.
Right, well...
We thought you were not against
they wanted to fight on an empty stomach.
Needless.
I rely only on what
the land can produce.
What do you have for food...
eaten.
Ok?, which you have just eaten.
You will be amazed how many
but one is needed.
All the way, if you own
recycles urine.
I can not leave.
Now I'm so close to a cure.
The answers lie within.
I had to give you this script.
What I have a script.
I'm a scientist.
This is the end of the world.
I have no time for fiction.
There is new text.
If you do not know...
Unless... unless...
script contains a secret code, which
includes calculations for the "C Virus."
In that case I would read it directly,
to better understand my role in...
the fight against the zombie apocalypse.
Right.
That's exactly what this is.
- Then I read it immediately.
There is so little time...
finally.
- Do the zombies?
Exactly.
Where is my new ending.
- Harold, are still working on, sir.
And what is that?
That's actually my script.
Yes, every man and his mother
currently writing a script.
My mother, if she should
hide me.
What would be difficult,
because I live with her.
Just kidding. I do not live with my mother.
I live in the garage,
which is entirely separate from the house.
You may want to read my script?
You certainly many good ideas.
I do not think so.
- I have entrusted to you.
Ok?, Go!
- Now?
Yes now!
- Ok?.
But it's a zombie.
- Go. God, not yet?? n.
But it is hot, as a love story.
- Romance has no place in horror films.
It also has many comic moments.
It is a "horrordie".
One minute you laugh and
Next you jump out of your seat.
"Horrordie" is not a word.
And mash-ups never work.
Sir, this script does
everything to me.
And I have all along dreamed of,
give it to someone as you give.
Ok?, maybe I'll do it
take a close look at.
I understand your reluctance, but
I think you are the subtle homages of
Carpenter and Remy will appreciate.
It is one of the films, which by
Everyone is frequently viewed.
Do not stand there, go do something.
And my script?
Oh, yeah, and fill it with toilet paper.
Those pages did their job well.
Ok?, everyone! Quiet on the set!
Quiet on the set, everyone!
All ready!
Scene 57. Take three.
Action!
We should not do this.
It's dangerous.
The world will perish.
I see...
Let's go out with a bang.
Cut! Cut!
Sorry!
Hinge.
Everyone, keep your damn head,
Please.
Ok?, let's do a recording.
H?, Stan, I will not complain, but...
I believe that this light my
muscles do any good.
Set the lights again.
- No, we still do a recording.
Not until this light is arranged.
Can you look after my stand-in.
Jessica...
Join me in my trailer,
to deepen this scene what?
Because you fucked all your colleagues,
do it for me not to succeed.
?? This is one of my things.
- Yes, maybe 10 years ago.
You call sidetracked me?
No, says no, Adam.
Let us keep all clammy.
You can not even an American
accent do, that's pretty pathetic.
I would rather die than
with you go to bed.
Furthermore, everyone knows that you
are secretly gay.
I'm not that.
- Everybody calm now, we are mature.
Forget it, no.
I can not work with this motherfucker.
Everyone knows that my
American accent is perfect.
I'm not gay.
Sir, there's another problem.
The stand-in is missing.
- We'll have a replacement yet, or not?
What is this bear season?
He looks like a monkey.
See it this way...
It can not be worse.
Shit!
Cookie?
No, no, we have a
stand-in needed for Jessica.
God, I can not believe,
I'm doing this.
Sorry for that net. I dress no one
on the set, which seems very happy.
It's my first day only.
It's so frustrating, this is the closest
at is, to stand before the camera.
Still waiting
the big breakthrough?
What big breakthrough?
I am 1.65 meters. I am not very thin,
or tanned, or blond.
I do not do accents and...
My basic skills
things in pieces.
The only job I could get at the
movie is like cook and I hate cooking.
I think it counts for both sides.
- Cooking hate me?
People hate to cook.
Right.
I do not know why I am angry.
I hate most of the roles that I audition
for've done, you know, waiting for
a big strong man who will save me.
You know, the script I'm working on,
has a strong female role.
Where the script about?
- It is a zombie.
Really?
With all due respect, but I love
films that may be true.
Things that come from the real world.
No, no, the light is not good. You
Both should be in a better position.
This is an attitude that
is shameful and humiliating.
Totally.
It is also not true that we never
have been in this position.
Oh yes, I am often in this
been position.
Because I had sex.
Are you okay?
- Yes!
It's here just so hot.
It's so hot here!
Could you just kiss?
Are you serious?
- Yes, yes, for the frame.
Well, if it's for the frame,
we have to actually do what he says.
That do not you think.
No, it's... it's not what you think.
I can explain.
What now?
- He has a boner.
I have not. She exaggerates.
He has a raging boner.
He is not angry. He is on no one
evil. He's just happy.
It is a happy, little...
Look, he's not stiff. He is still
but semi-rigid. It goes away.
No way. I am gone.
- Do not go away. It was an accident.
It's a compliment,
if you think about it.
You should be flattered.
- H?, Wesley!
My stiff!
It's just a semi-rigid.
Are we done here?
Yes, but the nerd is too ugly to
to highlight without the girl.
Is it fair skin, or hair.
I can hear everything you say.
- What?
I'd expect a little more respect.
- Your sock is dropped.
Richard, stop messing around with that
backward runner and come over here.
I've lost my phone again.
I'm not just a backward
runner, you know.
I'm actually a
ge inspired writer.
You're actually a writer?
Were you at the film school?
Yes.
- Yes, I was in film school.
When I finished it I thought,
I was the next Spielberg.
Five years working for S.M.P.
and I do not even like him
call by his first name.
What's that for respect.
- Not very good.
Now I can never be a movie
directing myself.
No...
I finish, I think, as the fat punching bag
of S.M.P., for the rest of my life.
Now, little head up.
That's better, so.
Forbidden Area
STAY AWAY
Such an intention to detail.
Twilight of the dead.
I'm a fool.
Wes, beware.
What was that for?
- Sorry.
I tought that you could catch him.
Is everything alright?
Not really.
I feel like a loser because I
thought to invent the cinema again.
I thought I had everything figured out,
but that turned out not to be so.
Maybe I'm not fit,
to work in the film industry.
You mean, the big finale,
I told you about.
We got a penalty, we would be on
the goal can shoot.
Then we would have been right.
But I decided to take a short
kick to give.
They were really upset and I
went past a number of defenders.
I stepped to the left.
I stepped to the right.
Heavy tackle.
The back line is only 20 meters
deleted. It's the run of my life.
They fall off me.
Crashing down like flies.
I roll over them. I feel,
like nothing can stop me,
The back line is getting closer.
The crowd was amused.
Then I got tackled.
I felt that she pulled me down.
I'm not going to make it.
I have to protect the ball.
Then I hear the crowd roar.
They call out to me.
Go Tane!
Go on, you can do it!
I used all my strength.
I dug into it until, BANG!
I just fell on the
back line and scored.
Like the flute end playtime
blows. The crowd was amused.
We won the game. of n??
the best moments in my life.
But my advice?
Go for it. Because if you get the ball,
you can be running along.
That's easy for you,
so to speak.
People do not see you as a joke.
Maybe...
But I guarantee you this...
But you can not score if you
do not want to stay in the match.
Now, grab that light stuff and
make clean up the mess on the set.
Now?
- Yes now!
This is the big shot.
All the zombies come out of the woods
and chase Jessica and Adam.
The zombies are coming!
The zombies are coming!
Dick but with him. Yes, we know,
they come Greg. It is very anxious.
I mean it!
They are coming! Zombies!
I've been bitten by a zombie.
We are all in danger!
- Of course we are in danger, Greg.
It is an apocalypse.
We try all
to prepare for the best.
Are you all ripped from the pot.
- Very original.
The zombies are coming!
- It's not the first time.
What?
Go away!
Damn method actors.
Pull over.
Stanley! Someone needs me to the village
bring, to go to the toilet.
What's wrong with our "long fall"?
Yes, you kidding?
For you see, I'm not with my ass,
that nasty "long fall" down.
Just like that other mob.
- We're going to record a scene.
I do not care.
Just do what I say.
No.
- What?
No.
You do what I say. I'm the
damn director, goddammit.
And now I refer you to the "long drop" where
you can go shit, just like everyone else.
How dare you speak to me like that?
I won a "Quanty". The best
onrushing female artist.
You mean, breast budding
female artist.
Pardon?
- That's right.
The only reason why you cunt price
won was because you have perfect tits.
But over 10 years, which will
boobs not so perfect.
So, if you want a carreer
after your 35th
I suggest that you stop, with you
act like a damn diva.
And what do you, damn it, it is said.
Stop with the fucking clapping.
Oh my God.
Something wanted to grab me.
So, there came a hand in the toilet
and tried to get you.
I have not seen anything.
- Of course, the door was closed.
In addition, they stood at the door
and have perhaps done.
Did you do that, you sick freak?
- No, I know nothing.
Those stories are not true. It was...
- I have no interest turd.
Can it get any worse today?
We need an alternative
to find.
Is it that good?
- Ok?, just go over there.
Here?
- Ok? and do not let me see you lurking,
because I heard that, that's exactly
what you're doing.
Hey?
I know you're there, dick.
You're not funny.
Hit yourself with.
Well, listen everybody.
I know that the film was not so,
as we had all hoped.
But that will change.
I just wan the best script
discovered that I have ever read.
We're going to stop what
we are recording
and start all over again
this new scenario.
For I know that this production
whole is turning around.
So, please, everyone.
I want a round of applause for the
architect of this masterpiece.
Wesley Pennington.
Well done, my young.
There he is.
- Wesley, give me five.
That's it, little sucker rosewater.
Here's a glock.
I love you.
- Wesley, Wesley...
Wesley. Wesley!
Wesley. Wesley!
Wesley was asleep. Uh, here.
Where the hell are you.
Everyone is waiting for Jessica.
She is gone.
How can she be gone?
Where is she going?
I do not know.
- It's your fucking job to know.
Jesus!
The world spans from me to me
to hold back to make my movie.
Can there be anything good?
Just give me something.
Sir?
Jessica? Jessica!
What...?
Jessica?
Where did you, damn it been?
Is that her American accent?
It gets worse.
Greg.
Have you seen Jessica?
I found some of your props.
Jee.
You're really dedicated.
Why did you, your tits
there protrude so?
No, it distracts from...
What did I say?
Tits.
Oh God, she runs publicly empty.
Right.
You're a zombie.
You want to eat me.
Ok?.
No, please, sir zombie.
Do not eat me.
Ok?, easy now.
You can stop now. I'm not here
to help you rehearse.
Seriously. You stink.
Get off me.
Now that's a prop.
What's wrong with her?
Oh my God. Seriously.
She is on drugs.
She trips. Perfect.
This is just perfect.
Oh my God.
Poor bastard.
Let someone her to her trailer
transferring and cleaning.
Now!
Well... That could be a lawsuit.
Luckily the camera was not running.
Ok?, let's forget the actors.
Let's shoot the zombies, ok??
Put them in a row.
This is "the zombies come
out of the woods "sc? ne.
And it's going to be spectacular.
You're not really...
No no no.
They say something bad in there
water supply has come.
They are coming! The zombies!
Something tried to get me!
We are all in danger!
There is inspiration all around you.
God almighty.
Real zombies.
Ok?, everyone wait.
Wait a second.
Wait until I say action.
Use smoke.
Recording.
Action!
Did we get more zombies?
- I do not know.
Somebody help me.
Somebody help me, please.
That is not good.
Zombies do not talk.
It is not the intention,
that you eat together.
Amazing.
Sorry, no signatures today.
I'm very, very tired.
Hands off me, please.
I know. I know.
I know.
I am amazing.
Not now!
Fans!
What a nightmare.
Jessica?
You try to autograph hunters
To avoid too, I see.
So unprofessional.
I will talk to Stanley.
Let them sack.
Those are ptijswaardig.
You're kidding me?
Do you like me secretly?
It's all about the body.
You're certainly not gay.
I promise you, I'm not.
Cut!
I said cut! Do not eat!
I am the director!
Cut!
I'm late.
God, stop.
What is wrong with you?
Susan!
What's the hell with you.
So bad the food is not.
Leave me alone.
What am I? What am I?
- Hurry up!
Susan, look out!
Stay behind me.
H?, zombie.
Take this to.
A little help?
Something else.
Maybe sharper.
I can not believe that I
it just did.
I would not worry about it.
You did her a favor.
Is she dead?
- These are real zombies.
Like real zombies?
- Really, really.
Alive eating meat without pulse
and man-eating zombies.
They nearly got the whole crew.
They are everywhere.
Wait a minute, why did
you down here, then?
I wanted to watch it alone
or you ok? was.
But you hardly know me.
I know, but I wanted to.
Ok?.
Let's go.
No, wait, I'm not.
I'm just an extra.
One minute we're doing our scene
and the next...
Help me.
Dude, dude, they're zombies.
No, I do not...
Oh, my God, what have you
done with him?
You gotta help me, man.
They are everywhere.
That can not be true.
H?!
Come here!
Come here!
Come on!
The first ones you killed
were just...
Thank me later for saving you,
now we need to work.
That is it. Real zombies attack
a zombie movie set in.
This is my new ending.
What now, where are the keys?
It's Frankie's truck.
I'll see where he is.
Tane Frankie, where are you young?
It sounds like he lunch.
- I say we finish them all.
The production car is at the trailers.
Why should we go there?
He is not very fast.
- That's right.
I walk, damn it, not leaving for a couple
filthy terrorist brain nibble boot.
Fortunately, I have some
purchased real ammunition.
That's my dad always told me.
It's never been safer...
Then when you load a
gun have at home.
Why do I not have a gun?
Why do I not have a vagina?
I still think that running away
is still the best choice.
Guy.
That comes from
if you are such a sissy.
When I look at terrorism
America withdrew before?
No, we have leveled the lot
and saved the world from extremists.
Look, America does not retreat.
America late withdraw all others.
I will sweep the road.
No.
Stay behind me.
I go all the zombie bastards blow.
Straight back to hell.
I hate tailgaters.
Beautiful.
Zombies!
Come get some.
So...
So, we will implement my plan?
You ru? Neert my recording.
What? It's harder than it looks.
Go! Go!
Come on!
Cunt!
Come on, Harold!
Let's go!
The notebook.
Wait, Harold!
He really wanted to die for his cause.
Yes. Dork.
Attention, everyone!
I would like to say
I am very disappointed
by your behavior.
Now, let me make something very clear.
I presumed absolutely not...
cannibalism on my set.
And if this disturbing
trend continues
I forced a lot
people dismiss.
So I want now that you stop
with what you are doing.
And we're done for today.
S.M.P. we need right now to leave.
We do not like it.
- But...
Richard, I have this
never told
but I have begged for years with this
project at the film commission for money.
Is that so?
They turned me down, Richard.
Time after time.
They thought my work was stolen.
And it lacked originality.
They said that I had to give up
to make a zombie, because...
it was not a real cinema.
But I did not give up.
I scraped and clawed,
begged and borrowed.
And after ten long years.
ten long years, ten long years...
I scraped enough money together,
to finally make my film.
My film. The film I always
had dreamed of.
Without any help from them.
I am determined to
They respect me.
Respect me.
So I'll finish this film.
You're going to help me there.
We are going to take a digital camera,
back from the truck.
And we make the best damn zombie
horror film ever made.
Was it good enough for you?
You killed all my fans.
- These are not your fans, mate.
They are brain dead.
- Are you calling my fans mindless zombies?
Well, technically we do.
But we say this with real zombies.
They take the crew and murder them.
- Right.
Or turn them into more zombies.
- I follow you.
We must leave immediately, not
by the real zombies being killed.
Can you follow me?
Has anyone consulted the script?
This is not a part of the script, it will be
real zombies and try to eat us.
I'm not used to
this kind of improvisation.
Watch out!
- That there is one.
Wait, no.
We just had sex.
You mean, you beat a
zombie've banged.
That's a dead girl, mate.
I do not think so.
She moaned and so.
Yes they do.
She looks like a corpse.
They all seem, if they
have their makeup on.
She tried to bite you?
- What happens when they bite you?
We think you so
one of them being.
Fortunately I am not bitten.
Prove it.
Take off your shirt.
- H?, come on.
This is crazy.
- You heard him.
Unless you want, that I now
Down bang for our security.
You, asshole.
Satisfied?
Ok?.
But what if you're infected...
on that other way.
I used protection.
I got acquainted with herpes,
the hard way.
Ugh.
We have to go.
Come on guys, let's go.
Wait a second.
I do not understand yet.
What idiot does that car
put in the bushes.
Everybody prints!
- Let's do that!
Come on, push, yet?? n times.
Is it just me, or they will be faster.
We go on foot.
Let's go.
Clive?
They are from the village.
We can not back the same way.
- Then we have to go through the forest.
In the dark.
- What choice do we have?
We will get lost.
- That's better than being eaten.
They also sit in the woods.
Guys?
That is impossible.
Real zombies move not.
Whether they are a reflection.
- What kind of reflection?
Watching someone, like me,
ever watch zombie movies?
Run!
As the zombies arrive.
- I can not.
Let's go.
S.M.P. there is no way out of here.
This material is breathtaking.
Finally something substantial.
Is not he...
- Richard!
It's time for your big scene.
- What?
Do not worry, I'll let you look good.
I know how to put you in the picture.
I do not wanna die.
- But you do not die, Richard.
You will be immortalized on film.
Forever.
But S.M.P.
- You can now call me Stanley.
May I?
- You were always a good idea, Richard.
The best.
Stanley...
I do not know what to say.
- Use common.
Let's take a picture.
But...
- Come on, Richard, it's almost over.
Let the crew not wait.
Ok?. Come on.
Just the perfect shot.
Stay equally so.
I love the emotion.
Richard!
Richard, you're a star.
Well, I think that now is the time
for my close-up.
For after all, every director is
a frustrated actor.
Yeah, you hear that?
They come back.
No.
The sound of water.
This path must ultimately us
lead out of the woods.
Tane!
Tane!
- Shit, where is he?
Tane!
Tane!
Tane!
What is it?
I do not know.
- Where's Adam?
He was right behind me,
when I was pounced.
He had got me.
Are you all right?
I'll let you know,
if it is not.
What happened to you, action Barbie.
Appearing as the danger has passed.
Drop dead.
I do not even my own stunts.
Look!
We are saved.
The engine is good.
Only needs petrol.
Ok?.
Let's be very quiet.
We want our presence
let anyone know.
Or something.
- Ok?.
Sorry.
The hinge.
No TV. No phone,
no computer.
What is it, damn, wrong
with these people.
They are farmers?
Hey?
Hello mister.
Are you a zombie?
Are you crazy. Did not we say,
we wanted to attract attention?
They are zombies, ok??
No rockets builders.
- A good one.
Drop dead. I try here
just to stay alive.
Who does it matter whether you
survive, but I'm famous.
The fans will never forgive me.
- Just quietly, Barbie.
I ought to shoot now.
You're infected.
- We should stick together.
I should shoot you all,
Before you become a danger.
Do not be a fool.
- You're the first to act.
With your filthy catering.
- We're all on the same team, Adam.
You would not fritter away three bullets
to the people who help you go from here?
We all know how important
you are. Yeah, right guys?
We see you as the number one??
priority, only...
Give the gun here.
I have to go to the toilet.
Acorn.
Cunt.
Everything all right there?
I am OK?.
Give me a second.
You see...
something?
It is empty.
H?, guy, get out of there.
I'm busy.
- Fine, you're alone.
That is not good.
Of course.
It has a barn.
- We do not have much now.
Well, maybe.
I think I can get there.
I fill a can and put the whole thing on fire.
You know, distract them so
you can run to the truck.
You get eaten alive.
Well, what have I got to lose.
It's a long way.
I'll get it, no problem.
Do you want to transfer this.
My hands are shaking a little.
I must be honest, boy.
You're not a good runner.
I know that.
But I think that one day,
you're a good writer.
You think?
I read some of the script,
when I sat on the toilet.
Not bad.
The love story is yet to
something better, however.
I'm working on.
But I do not know,
if I'm good enough.
I'll tell the truth
about rugby and me.
She held me back,
before I got to the line.
I could throw a pass,
but I went for my own honor.
We lost the final.
It was all my fault.
They looked at the selection, then.
But if I could do it again...
I would do it again.
But why?
Because you should always
go victory.
Always go for the win.
I can probably use.
And you have the vision.
- I'm not a virgin.
Whatever, man.
Tane, arise. We need you.
Yes.
It works.
- Let's go.
I'm a monster.
You want me to help you?
No, wait.
I do not need help at all.
Wes, this is crazy.
We do not know how long it takes
Before you become a zombie.
And?
We chop my hand off that stops
possible the infection.
Your whole hand chop off there?
And then close on.
Are you sure about this?
Yes.
You have to count to three
and if I...
You bitch!
- You asked yourself.
Do not take it personally, it's
just the pain.
I can not.
You must help me.
I can not look.
Cunt!
God!
How does it look?
What?
It is not finished yet.
- Drop dead.
I know.
- Can you even my arm did not cook well?
Well, it seemed ready, but there
are still some small pieces.
So, some small pieces.
- Sorry.
Wes!
Wes, wake up!
Wesley, I need you.
I can not do this without you.
Wes, wake up.
Wesley.
Susan, I sat in the
worst nightmare.
We were surrounded by zombies
and you cut my...
Shit! Shit! Shit!
Come on! Come on!
Go!
You have to drive.
Climb over me.
Climb over.
Look out my stump.
What is that then?
- Those are my balls.
Get your elbow out of my back.
Is it a bad time,
to take a rest?
It's a very bad time.
Are you serious?
I stuck it in the brain.
It seems as if he has a stroke.
Everyone is talking about acting.
Ok?, relax.
Put him in the first and then
the base of the acceleration
and your right foot on the accelerator.
- I know. Do not sit ride.
I said, slow acceleration.
- I'm trying.
You're a horrible instructor.
You're making me nervous.
Sorry, but those zombies out there
make me a little nervous.
Damn, women.
- Do not you dare say.
H?, you're good at this game.
That was the seventh...
How does your arm now?
He does only very, if I
move it.
So...
Does this mean a date?
I think you have a chance.
Considering you might be the last
are men on earth.
Well, that is still alive, in any case.
- Thank you, apocalypse.
Hey!
CLOSED FOR WORLD'S END
I think that is new.
Is that what I think it is?
No.
Even the drunken students would already
few hours ago have gone home.
That's bollocks.
Shit, here we go again.
Cut!
First positions.
Let's do another shot.
And ready!
Day 3:
Recordings on location of a
big budget New Zealand Docu-Drama.
"I SURVIVED A ZOMBIE HOLOCAUST"
Coffee, sir?
Put it on my chair.
Thank you.
"DIRECTOR"
This is it.
The big thing.
Show them who's boss. Great
work, guys. That was fantastic.
I still have?? s remark.
When I say that I do some more
heroism wants to see.
You were really scared.
- Wait a minute.
He fart actually a bit
in his pants.
I do not fart...
... There was no disc-
Can I talk to you?
I'm the writer, director
do you remember?
Is it really such a good idea for me
protective put for the whole crew.
That is unprofessional.
Well, I'm the lead actress and
co-producer, remember?
It is my responsibility to
so real as possible to show out.
I was pretty cool.
Certainly.
That is unprofessional.
But I'm going to allow it.
We go for the scared version.
- Right.
Ok?, everyone.
We're still going to shoot.
And remember, this is our big scene,
with all the zombies that come out of the city.
And it goes...
be spectacular.
- They could be anywhere.
Stay close to me.
I protect you.
Run!
Where are we going?
Keep moving.
This way.
Look!
- We are saved.
They come through it.
I see.
Bring it on!
Get behind me!
Brains!
- You like brain, h??
Well, then it eats it.
You have no ammunition.
Not quite.
Ready?
- A little!
Drop dead!
Ready?
- I need more time.
Why do you, not your mouth?
Come on, now!
You know, I'm glad you
have come back from the dead.
Because that means that I
you have to kill again.
What the hell...?
You told me that I this shit
would not get me.
Cut!
Day 3:
Recordings on location of a
New Zealand's low budget "B" horror movie.
"TONIGHT THEY COME"
Look at me.
I'm full of the filth.
I have to throw up again.
Why another perfect
Recording ru? ning, Jessica?
What this is really about...
Maybe it's your attraction
to...
Stanley...
These are unworkable conditions.
What if I got it in my eye?
What if he his phlegm in my
eye had shot?
Slime!
I have more respect
being treated.
Right. Of course.
Why do not you sit?
We will clean you.
Richard!
He is... coming...
Yes, S.M.P.
Stalk me that!
Who the hell has Jessica's place
put so close to the mucus.
Well, everyone does basically everything,
within the limited budget.
You know what this movie
means to me, Richard?
Your baby.
- It's my baby.
I make here for a
birth, Richard.
I'm giving birth,
So do not tell me what's going wrong.
Rub only on my stomach and help
I give birth to my beautiful baby.
It's just a zombie movie.
What?
- I mean, no. I'm working on it.
Harrold!
Yes.
- Where is my new end?
Sir...
Almost finished.
- Good.
Flicker then!
So, there we were.
The big finale.
Winner will be the top team
of the island.
We are just before the match.
Nobody said a word,
but when I looked into their eyes...
I could see that they were scared.
Tane, where is that new runner
I've asked for.
Has not yet shown up, Rich.
Ok?, find out where that remains.
Yes.
- Yes.
This is it.
Your big chance.
Be ready to impress.
Tane, right? The location manager.
We spoke on the phone.
You must be the new runner?
- Yes that's me.
I'm Wesley.
You are late.
Well...
Then they said that it was remote,
I did not realize it was so far.
You're lost.
- A few times.
I tried to call.
- Yes, there is almost no coverage here.
Do you need such a thing?
You're going to meet the director.
My own intercom, what an honor.
It's my first time on a film set.
I just finished film school.
Yes.
I see myself first and foremost
as scriptwriter.
Remember, the people here on the set,
you first see as their servant.
What?
You trolley fell over.
I am very...
- Ineptly?
No... What?
Throw you always other people's stuff?
- No, I mean, I have not done.
Come, let me help you.
Stop Susan's stuff
to throw.
You're just five seconds
on the set and I'm already worse.
Sorry, I...
- Now!
Ok?. Susan Day.
- Now!
Look out, little sucker rosewater.
- Calm down, Randy.
That is the props master.
Try to stay away from him.
At the very food.
To BARN SE Ok?, listen. You start at the bottom.
Call Stanley, always S.M.P.
And remember the pecking order.
- And that is?
That each other in this production
is more important than you.
Now, you see that guy, where
S.M.P. shouts against?
The one who looks as if he
is painful to shit.
You're not worth motherfuckers!
- That's it. Driver.
He is the first AD. You set
ask him and me.
And each other,
which tells you to do something.
Ok?, but what is my task?
- Your task...
is to do everything,
what one wants to do.
Try not to get fired.
Good luck, young.
Layoffs?
Sorry, Stanley.
I feel very bad.
Something is wrong.
If you go back to the village,
look...
Who the hell is this misfit?
Where is the runner, I asked for?
This is the new runner.
I'm Wesley.
Wesley Pennington, it's a big...
That makes me no balls out.
Go with Clive to the village and
find out what ails him.
What the hell!
- Ok?.
Are you okay?
I made the mistake to eat
at the pub last night.
Since then I feel like I'm dying.
The Zombies are coming!
- What?
Jesus Christ Greg, not now.
My name is Greg.
My name is Dr. Herbert White.
Head scientist working
at the "C virus".
There has been an outbreak.
- I'm not playing now, Greg. I have pain.
Go bother someone else.
- The zombies are coming!
We are all in danger!
- Who was that?
Greg Winston.
- Greg Winston? I did not recognize him.
He's been here for six weeks
to study his role.
He continues to walk around in his role,
even if the cameras are not running.
He is totally...
- Confused?
Doorgedraaid.
Come on, let's go.
Hi. Can you recommend a doctor for my
Call a friend. He's very sick.
I can not, I'm afraid.
Too busy.
You do not understand, he must return.
He is needed for filming today.
Let him wait for his turn,
just like everyone else.
This disease has struck the city.
They say something bad in there
water supply has come.
Besides, I feel myself also not so fit.
I'll be with you.
My husband has a lot of pain.
He can barely talk.
Look, go and lie down.
Waiting for the doctor.
I'll be back, ok??
Ok?.
Look...
This should be something unprofessional,
but...
Would you like to look at my script?
I know.
That make us more often.
Do not reject it immediately.
I do not want to give away...
but there is a great
foreign character,
that's right up your street.
I just leave it behind.
Sign up, Richard.
Yeah, you're behind what happened to
Clive is going on?
No, but I do not think he
yet is acting today.
The whole village has apparently
suffer from the same, so...
The doctor does not have time.
Cunt! Ok?,'ll be back as soon as possible.
- Yes sir.
Hey?
Hey?
Who was already there, I think.
That is OK?.
The insurance covers though.
- No! Help!
Just go...
Go back!
No do not do that!
Do not come any closer!
Everthing allright?
But of course.
Who are you?
I'm Wesley, the new runner.
I heard shouting and
thought that there was an emergency.
No, I just read what new rules
the dialogue aloud.
They are terrible, of course.
Nobody speaks, but...
S.M. damn P. wishes
another end.
What happened to the...
bold original horror film,
we would make together.
How is it in such a worthless
changed dud?
I know exactly where you come from.
I actually write
my own zombie movie.
Are you a writer?
- Ben just finished film school.
Greetings, student of the page.
Well, we need writers
each stand half.
Maybe I can give you some
give directions.
Yeah, I mean...
That would be amazing.
You see, Wesley, there is inspiration
all around you.
Let me give you an example.
A spoiled princess.
Blessed with great beauty.
Her appearance makes her an object
For the desires of others, but...
If no one can see through it,
how they ever get those fair
admiration and respect,
which requires them yourself?
The king...
a crumbling kingdom.
Struggling to stay in power.
Is he a misunderstood genius?
Or an enthusiastic crazy?
The Prophet.
A small storyteller.
Or is he just a storyteller
great stories?
Can you follow it?
Yes, but I do not see the difference between
Borrowing movies or real life.
Because those movies someone else's ideas
of reality, not your own.
Great stories come from yourself.
From there.
So Wesley...
What will your story be?
Ok?, yes.
Let's just...
Gosh!
- Do it.
Time for me to move on,
Before the king my head.
H?, runner boy!
H?, I mean, h?.
I mean...
H?, I'm Wesley, the runner boy.
The runner, but actually I see
myself as a writer.
Yes? I see myself more as an actress,
I do this until I get a good role.
Oh, you're an actress? I can see
why, because your face is good.
I mean, you have a good there
face before, before acting.
The camera would you
keep face.
And there's nothing wrong with your body.
It is a good body and face.
Beautiful. More than beautiful.
Beautiful.
Sexy.
Well formed.
The two together? The camera would
to love it, all two.
Yes.
Clive is in order?
- Yes. I mean, no.
Well...
Did they say,
what's wrong with him?
According to him it was a bad
meal in the pub.
Thank God. I thought that
I had cooked already bad.
Again?
- Shit!
Do not tell anyone, I said it.
- No, I would not do.
Half of the crew thinks,
that I want to poison.
What? With this?
Are you kidding?
This looks...
delicious.
- So you want some?
Yes.
You know, I thought maybe...
Maybe what?
Maybe, I'm going to sit there and
enjoy this delicious food.
Ok?, do.
Weirdo.
Who said you could sit here?
- No, I'll go away.
Come on, Randy.
Leave him alone.
Let me tell you my story?
Relax, madhouse.
He's not even real.
It is made of high quality
polystyrene. Look?
I adore but what about you.
You morons are so
stupid and silly.
As I said:
The grand finale, five minutes to go,
10 points behind.
Shit, not again.
Yes, we know, you scored the touchdown.
You won the game, yes.
Blew each other in the shower.
You fucked to celebrate.
What a tale!
Why do not you get yourself yet
a piece of pie, curling violin.
Well, I'd rather blow my brains in,
then listen to this bullshit.
It's not even real football.
Muthafucka!
Anyway...
We fought largely
a losing battle.
Note you?
They scored twice
and we had no answer.
With less than three minutes
on the clock,
it seemed impossible.
But then... out of nowhere...
Hit it fast, from the kickoff.
They gave me the ball.
I threw a pass.
Winny Gracer has space.
He dashed past the line...
and scored in the corner.
The try is scored. There are only
two minutes to go and three points behind.
I tackle from kickoff.
We get a penalty.
A shot on goal,
provides us with a tie on.
Or, we can try running.
To win the contest.
Who said you could take a break?
How long have you been back?
Not long, I just got here.
- He has the cook get up horny.
No, I did not.
I no horny people.
We just had a conversation.
Give this to Greg and make sure,
he reads this time.
Once you've done that, find Harold and
see if he has down the new ending.
I know you've heard rumors,
he experimented on real bodies,
which he has managed to dig.
But do not worry, it's not true.
We never saw him
let do experiments.
It's not safe out there.
The zombies are coming.
Right, well...
We thought you were not against
they wanted to fight on an empty stomach.
Needless.
I rely only on what
the land can produce.
What do you have for food...
eaten.
Ok?, which you have just eaten.
You will be amazed how many
but one is needed.
All the way, if you own
recycles urine.
I can not leave.
Now I'm so close to a cure.
The answers lie within.
I had to give you this script.
What I have a script.
I'm a scientist.
This is the end of the world.
I have no time for fiction.
There is new text.
If you do not know...
Unless... unless...
script contains a secret code, which
includes calculations for the "C Virus."
In that case I would read it directly,
to better understand my role in...
the fight against the zombie apocalypse.
Right.
That's exactly what this is.
- Then I read it immediately.
There is so little time...
finally.
- Do the zombies?
Exactly.
Where is my new ending.
- Harold, are still working on, sir.
And what is that?
That's actually my script.
Yes, every man and his mother
currently writing a script.
My mother, if she should
hide me.
What would be difficult,
because I live with her.
Just kidding. I do not live with my mother.
I live in the garage,
which is entirely separate from the house.
You may want to read my script?
You certainly many good ideas.
I do not think so.
- I have entrusted to you.
Ok?, Go!
- Now?
Yes now!
- Ok?.
But it's a zombie.
- Go. God, not yet?? n.
But it is hot, as a love story.
- Romance has no place in horror films.
It also has many comic moments.
It is a "horrordie".
One minute you laugh and
Next you jump out of your seat.
"Horrordie" is not a word.
And mash-ups never work.
Sir, this script does
everything to me.
And I have all along dreamed of,
give it to someone as you give.
Ok?, maybe I'll do it
take a close look at.
I understand your reluctance, but
I think you are the subtle homages of
Carpenter and Remy will appreciate.
It is one of the films, which by
Everyone is frequently viewed.
Do not stand there, go do something.
And my script?
Oh, yeah, and fill it with toilet paper.
Those pages did their job well.
Ok?, everyone! Quiet on the set!
Quiet on the set, everyone!
All ready!
Scene 57. Take three.
Action!
We should not do this.
It's dangerous.
The world will perish.
I see...
Let's go out with a bang.
Cut! Cut!
Sorry!
Hinge.
Everyone, keep your damn head,
Please.
Ok?, let's do a recording.
H?, Stan, I will not complain, but...
I believe that this light my
muscles do any good.
Set the lights again.
- No, we still do a recording.
Not until this light is arranged.
Can you look after my stand-in.
Jessica...
Join me in my trailer,
to deepen this scene what?
Because you fucked all your colleagues,
do it for me not to succeed.
?? This is one of my things.
- Yes, maybe 10 years ago.
You call sidetracked me?
No, says no, Adam.
Let us keep all clammy.
You can not even an American
accent do, that's pretty pathetic.
I would rather die than
with you go to bed.
Furthermore, everyone knows that you
are secretly gay.
I'm not that.
- Everybody calm now, we are mature.
Forget it, no.
I can not work with this motherfucker.
Everyone knows that my
American accent is perfect.
I'm not gay.
Sir, there's another problem.
The stand-in is missing.
- We'll have a replacement yet, or not?
What is this bear season?
He looks like a monkey.
See it this way...
It can not be worse.
Shit!
Cookie?
No, no, we have a
stand-in needed for Jessica.
God, I can not believe,
I'm doing this.
Sorry for that net. I dress no one
on the set, which seems very happy.
It's my first day only.
It's so frustrating, this is the closest
at is, to stand before the camera.
Still waiting
the big breakthrough?
What big breakthrough?
I am 1.65 meters. I am not very thin,
or tanned, or blond.
I do not do accents and...
My basic skills
things in pieces.
The only job I could get at the
movie is like cook and I hate cooking.
I think it counts for both sides.
- Cooking hate me?
People hate to cook.
Right.
I do not know why I am angry.
I hate most of the roles that I audition
for've done, you know, waiting for
a big strong man who will save me.
You know, the script I'm working on,
has a strong female role.
Where the script about?
- It is a zombie.
Really?
With all due respect, but I love
films that may be true.
Things that come from the real world.
No, no, the light is not good. You
Both should be in a better position.
This is an attitude that
is shameful and humiliating.
Totally.
It is also not true that we never
have been in this position.
Oh yes, I am often in this
been position.
Because I had sex.
Are you okay?
- Yes!
It's here just so hot.
It's so hot here!
Could you just kiss?
Are you serious?
- Yes, yes, for the frame.
Well, if it's for the frame,
we have to actually do what he says.
That do not you think.
No, it's... it's not what you think.
I can explain.
What now?
- He has a boner.
I have not. She exaggerates.
He has a raging boner.
He is not angry. He is on no one
evil. He's just happy.
It is a happy, little...
Look, he's not stiff. He is still
but semi-rigid. It goes away.
No way. I am gone.
- Do not go away. It was an accident.
It's a compliment,
if you think about it.
You should be flattered.
- H?, Wesley!
My stiff!
It's just a semi-rigid.
Are we done here?
Yes, but the nerd is too ugly to
to highlight without the girl.
Is it fair skin, or hair.
I can hear everything you say.
- What?
I'd expect a little more respect.
- Your sock is dropped.
Richard, stop messing around with that
backward runner and come over here.
I've lost my phone again.
I'm not just a backward
runner, you know.
I'm actually a
ge inspired writer.
You're actually a writer?
Were you at the film school?
Yes.
- Yes, I was in film school.
When I finished it I thought,
I was the next Spielberg.
Five years working for S.M.P.
and I do not even like him
call by his first name.
What's that for respect.
- Not very good.
Now I can never be a movie
directing myself.
No...
I finish, I think, as the fat punching bag
of S.M.P., for the rest of my life.
Now, little head up.
That's better, so.
Forbidden Area
STAY AWAY
Such an intention to detail.
Twilight of the dead.
I'm a fool.
Wes, beware.
What was that for?
- Sorry.
I tought that you could catch him.
Is everything alright?
Not really.
I feel like a loser because I
thought to invent the cinema again.
I thought I had everything figured out,
but that turned out not to be so.
Maybe I'm not fit,
to work in the film industry.
You mean, the big finale,
I told you about.
We got a penalty, we would be on
the goal can shoot.
Then we would have been right.
But I decided to take a short
kick to give.
They were really upset and I
went past a number of defenders.
I stepped to the left.
I stepped to the right.
Heavy tackle.
The back line is only 20 meters
deleted. It's the run of my life.
They fall off me.
Crashing down like flies.
I roll over them. I feel,
like nothing can stop me,
The back line is getting closer.
The crowd was amused.
Then I got tackled.
I felt that she pulled me down.
I'm not going to make it.
I have to protect the ball.
Then I hear the crowd roar.
They call out to me.
Go Tane!
Go on, you can do it!
I used all my strength.
I dug into it until, BANG!
I just fell on the
back line and scored.
Like the flute end playtime
blows. The crowd was amused.
We won the game. of n??
the best moments in my life.
But my advice?
Go for it. Because if you get the ball,
you can be running along.
That's easy for you,
so to speak.
People do not see you as a joke.
Maybe...
But I guarantee you this...
But you can not score if you
do not want to stay in the match.
Now, grab that light stuff and
make clean up the mess on the set.
Now?
- Yes now!
This is the big shot.
All the zombies come out of the woods
and chase Jessica and Adam.
The zombies are coming!
The zombies are coming!
Dick but with him. Yes, we know,
they come Greg. It is very anxious.
I mean it!
They are coming! Zombies!
I've been bitten by a zombie.
We are all in danger!
- Of course we are in danger, Greg.
It is an apocalypse.
We try all
to prepare for the best.
Are you all ripped from the pot.
- Very original.
The zombies are coming!
- It's not the first time.
What?
Go away!
Damn method actors.
Pull over.
Stanley! Someone needs me to the village
bring, to go to the toilet.
What's wrong with our "long fall"?
Yes, you kidding?
For you see, I'm not with my ass,
that nasty "long fall" down.
Just like that other mob.
- We're going to record a scene.
I do not care.
Just do what I say.
No.
- What?
No.
You do what I say. I'm the
damn director, goddammit.
And now I refer you to the "long drop" where
you can go shit, just like everyone else.
How dare you speak to me like that?
I won a "Quanty". The best
onrushing female artist.
You mean, breast budding
female artist.
Pardon?
- That's right.
The only reason why you cunt price
won was because you have perfect tits.
But over 10 years, which will
boobs not so perfect.
So, if you want a carreer
after your 35th
I suggest that you stop, with you
act like a damn diva.
And what do you, damn it, it is said.
Stop with the fucking clapping.
Oh my God.
Something wanted to grab me.
So, there came a hand in the toilet
and tried to get you.
I have not seen anything.
- Of course, the door was closed.
In addition, they stood at the door
and have perhaps done.
Did you do that, you sick freak?
- No, I know nothing.
Those stories are not true. It was...
- I have no interest turd.
Can it get any worse today?
We need an alternative
to find.
Is it that good?
- Ok?, just go over there.
Here?
- Ok? and do not let me see you lurking,
because I heard that, that's exactly
what you're doing.
Hey?
I know you're there, dick.
You're not funny.
Hit yourself with.
Well, listen everybody.
I know that the film was not so,
as we had all hoped.
But that will change.
I just wan the best script
discovered that I have ever read.
We're going to stop what
we are recording
and start all over again
this new scenario.
For I know that this production
whole is turning around.
So, please, everyone.
I want a round of applause for the
architect of this masterpiece.
Wesley Pennington.
Well done, my young.
There he is.
- Wesley, give me five.
That's it, little sucker rosewater.
Here's a glock.
I love you.
- Wesley, Wesley...
Wesley. Wesley!
Wesley. Wesley!
Wesley was asleep. Uh, here.
Where the hell are you.
Everyone is waiting for Jessica.
She is gone.
How can she be gone?
Where is she going?
I do not know.
- It's your fucking job to know.
Jesus!
The world spans from me to me
to hold back to make my movie.
Can there be anything good?
Just give me something.
Sir?
Jessica? Jessica!
What...?
Jessica?
Where did you, damn it been?
Is that her American accent?
It gets worse.
Greg.
Have you seen Jessica?
I found some of your props.
Jee.
You're really dedicated.
Why did you, your tits
there protrude so?
No, it distracts from...
What did I say?
Tits.
Oh God, she runs publicly empty.
Right.
You're a zombie.
You want to eat me.
Ok?.
No, please, sir zombie.
Do not eat me.
Ok?, easy now.
You can stop now. I'm not here
to help you rehearse.
Seriously. You stink.
Get off me.
Now that's a prop.
What's wrong with her?
Oh my God. Seriously.
She is on drugs.
She trips. Perfect.
This is just perfect.
Oh my God.
Poor bastard.
Let someone her to her trailer
transferring and cleaning.
Now!
Well... That could be a lawsuit.
Luckily the camera was not running.
Ok?, let's forget the actors.
Let's shoot the zombies, ok??
Put them in a row.
This is "the zombies come
out of the woods "sc? ne.
And it's going to be spectacular.
You're not really...
No no no.
They say something bad in there
water supply has come.
They are coming! The zombies!
Something tried to get me!
We are all in danger!
There is inspiration all around you.
God almighty.
Real zombies.
Ok?, everyone wait.
Wait a second.
Wait until I say action.
Use smoke.
Recording.
Action!
Did we get more zombies?
- I do not know.
Somebody help me.
Somebody help me, please.
That is not good.
Zombies do not talk.
It is not the intention,
that you eat together.
Amazing.
Sorry, no signatures today.
I'm very, very tired.
Hands off me, please.
I know. I know.
I know.
I am amazing.
Not now!
Fans!
What a nightmare.
Jessica?
You try to autograph hunters
To avoid too, I see.
So unprofessional.
I will talk to Stanley.
Let them sack.
Those are ptijswaardig.
You're kidding me?
Do you like me secretly?
It's all about the body.
You're certainly not gay.
I promise you, I'm not.
Cut!
I said cut! Do not eat!
I am the director!
Cut!
I'm late.
God, stop.
What is wrong with you?
Susan!
What's the hell with you.
So bad the food is not.
Leave me alone.
What am I? What am I?
- Hurry up!
Susan, look out!
Stay behind me.
H?, zombie.
Take this to.
A little help?
Something else.
Maybe sharper.
I can not believe that I
it just did.
I would not worry about it.
You did her a favor.
Is she dead?
- These are real zombies.
Like real zombies?
- Really, really.
Alive eating meat without pulse
and man-eating zombies.
They nearly got the whole crew.
They are everywhere.
Wait a minute, why did
you down here, then?
I wanted to watch it alone
or you ok? was.
But you hardly know me.
I know, but I wanted to.
Ok?.
Let's go.
No, wait, I'm not.
I'm just an extra.
One minute we're doing our scene
and the next...
Help me.
Dude, dude, they're zombies.
No, I do not...
Oh, my God, what have you
done with him?
You gotta help me, man.
They are everywhere.
That can not be true.
H?!
Come here!
Come here!
Come on!
The first ones you killed
were just...
Thank me later for saving you,
now we need to work.
That is it. Real zombies attack
a zombie movie set in.
This is my new ending.
What now, where are the keys?
It's Frankie's truck.
I'll see where he is.
Tane Frankie, where are you young?
It sounds like he lunch.
- I say we finish them all.
The production car is at the trailers.
Why should we go there?
He is not very fast.
- That's right.
I walk, damn it, not leaving for a couple
filthy terrorist brain nibble boot.
Fortunately, I have some
purchased real ammunition.
That's my dad always told me.
It's never been safer...
Then when you load a
gun have at home.
Why do I not have a gun?
Why do I not have a vagina?
I still think that running away
is still the best choice.
Guy.
That comes from
if you are such a sissy.
When I look at terrorism
America withdrew before?
No, we have leveled the lot
and saved the world from extremists.
Look, America does not retreat.
America late withdraw all others.
I will sweep the road.
No.
Stay behind me.
I go all the zombie bastards blow.
Straight back to hell.
I hate tailgaters.
Beautiful.
Zombies!
Come get some.
So...
So, we will implement my plan?
You ru? Neert my recording.
What? It's harder than it looks.
Go! Go!
Come on!
Cunt!
Come on, Harold!
Let's go!
The notebook.
Wait, Harold!
He really wanted to die for his cause.
Yes. Dork.
Attention, everyone!
I would like to say
I am very disappointed
by your behavior.
Now, let me make something very clear.
I presumed absolutely not...
cannibalism on my set.
And if this disturbing
trend continues
I forced a lot
people dismiss.
So I want now that you stop
with what you are doing.
And we're done for today.
S.M.P. we need right now to leave.
We do not like it.
- But...
Richard, I have this
never told
but I have begged for years with this
project at the film commission for money.
Is that so?
They turned me down, Richard.
Time after time.
They thought my work was stolen.
And it lacked originality.
They said that I had to give up
to make a zombie, because...
it was not a real cinema.
But I did not give up.
I scraped and clawed,
begged and borrowed.
And after ten long years.
ten long years, ten long years...
I scraped enough money together,
to finally make my film.
My film. The film I always
had dreamed of.
Without any help from them.
I am determined to
They respect me.
Respect me.
So I'll finish this film.
You're going to help me there.
We are going to take a digital camera,
back from the truck.
And we make the best damn zombie
horror film ever made.
Was it good enough for you?
You killed all my fans.
- These are not your fans, mate.
They are brain dead.
- Are you calling my fans mindless zombies?
Well, technically we do.
But we say this with real zombies.
They take the crew and murder them.
- Right.
Or turn them into more zombies.
- I follow you.
We must leave immediately, not
by the real zombies being killed.
Can you follow me?
Has anyone consulted the script?
This is not a part of the script, it will be
real zombies and try to eat us.
I'm not used to
this kind of improvisation.
Watch out!
- That there is one.
Wait, no.
We just had sex.
You mean, you beat a
zombie've banged.
That's a dead girl, mate.
I do not think so.
She moaned and so.
Yes they do.
She looks like a corpse.
They all seem, if they
have their makeup on.
She tried to bite you?
- What happens when they bite you?
We think you so
one of them being.
Fortunately I am not bitten.
Prove it.
Take off your shirt.
- H?, come on.
This is crazy.
- You heard him.
Unless you want, that I now
Down bang for our security.
You, asshole.
Satisfied?
Ok?.
But what if you're infected...
on that other way.
I used protection.
I got acquainted with herpes,
the hard way.
Ugh.
We have to go.
Come on guys, let's go.
Wait a second.
I do not understand yet.
What idiot does that car
put in the bushes.
Everybody prints!
- Let's do that!
Come on, push, yet?? n times.
Is it just me, or they will be faster.
We go on foot.
Let's go.
Clive?
They are from the village.
We can not back the same way.
- Then we have to go through the forest.
In the dark.
- What choice do we have?
We will get lost.
- That's better than being eaten.
They also sit in the woods.
Guys?
That is impossible.
Real zombies move not.
Whether they are a reflection.
- What kind of reflection?
Watching someone, like me,
ever watch zombie movies?
Run!
As the zombies arrive.
- I can not.
Let's go.
S.M.P. there is no way out of here.
This material is breathtaking.
Finally something substantial.
Is not he...
- Richard!
It's time for your big scene.
- What?
Do not worry, I'll let you look good.
I know how to put you in the picture.
I do not wanna die.
- But you do not die, Richard.
You will be immortalized on film.
Forever.
But S.M.P.
- You can now call me Stanley.
May I?
- You were always a good idea, Richard.
The best.
Stanley...
I do not know what to say.
- Use common.
Let's take a picture.
But...
- Come on, Richard, it's almost over.
Let the crew not wait.
Ok?. Come on.
Just the perfect shot.
Stay equally so.
I love the emotion.
Richard!
Richard, you're a star.
Well, I think that now is the time
for my close-up.
For after all, every director is
a frustrated actor.
Yeah, you hear that?
They come back.
No.
The sound of water.
This path must ultimately us
lead out of the woods.
Tane!
Tane!
- Shit, where is he?
Tane!
Tane!
Tane!
What is it?
I do not know.
- Where's Adam?
He was right behind me,
when I was pounced.
He had got me.
Are you all right?
I'll let you know,
if it is not.
What happened to you, action Barbie.
Appearing as the danger has passed.
Drop dead.
I do not even my own stunts.
Look!
We are saved.
The engine is good.
Only needs petrol.
Ok?.
Let's be very quiet.
We want our presence
let anyone know.
Or something.
- Ok?.
Sorry.
The hinge.
No TV. No phone,
no computer.
What is it, damn, wrong
with these people.
They are farmers?
Hey?
Hello mister.
Are you a zombie?
Are you crazy. Did not we say,
we wanted to attract attention?
They are zombies, ok??
No rockets builders.
- A good one.
Drop dead. I try here
just to stay alive.
Who does it matter whether you
survive, but I'm famous.
The fans will never forgive me.
- Just quietly, Barbie.
I ought to shoot now.
You're infected.
- We should stick together.
I should shoot you all,
Before you become a danger.
Do not be a fool.
- You're the first to act.
With your filthy catering.
- We're all on the same team, Adam.
You would not fritter away three bullets
to the people who help you go from here?
We all know how important
you are. Yeah, right guys?
We see you as the number one??
priority, only...
Give the gun here.
I have to go to the toilet.
Acorn.
Cunt.
Everything all right there?
I am OK?.
Give me a second.
You see...
something?
It is empty.
H?, guy, get out of there.
I'm busy.
- Fine, you're alone.
That is not good.
Of course.
It has a barn.
- We do not have much now.
Well, maybe.
I think I can get there.
I fill a can and put the whole thing on fire.
You know, distract them so
you can run to the truck.
You get eaten alive.
Well, what have I got to lose.
It's a long way.
I'll get it, no problem.
Do you want to transfer this.
My hands are shaking a little.
I must be honest, boy.
You're not a good runner.
I know that.
But I think that one day,
you're a good writer.
You think?
I read some of the script,
when I sat on the toilet.
Not bad.
The love story is yet to
something better, however.
I'm working on.
But I do not know,
if I'm good enough.
I'll tell the truth
about rugby and me.
She held me back,
before I got to the line.
I could throw a pass,
but I went for my own honor.
We lost the final.
It was all my fault.
They looked at the selection, then.
But if I could do it again...
I would do it again.
But why?
Because you should always
go victory.
Always go for the win.
I can probably use.
And you have the vision.
- I'm not a virgin.
Whatever, man.
Tane, arise. We need you.
Yes.
It works.
- Let's go.
I'm a monster.
You want me to help you?
No, wait.
I do not need help at all.
Wes, this is crazy.
We do not know how long it takes
Before you become a zombie.
And?
We chop my hand off that stops
possible the infection.
Your whole hand chop off there?
And then close on.
Are you sure about this?
Yes.
You have to count to three
and if I...
You bitch!
- You asked yourself.
Do not take it personally, it's
just the pain.
I can not.
You must help me.
I can not look.
Cunt!
God!
How does it look?
What?
It is not finished yet.
- Drop dead.
I know.
- Can you even my arm did not cook well?
Well, it seemed ready, but there
are still some small pieces.
So, some small pieces.
- Sorry.
Wes!
Wes, wake up!
Wesley, I need you.
I can not do this without you.
Wes, wake up.
Wesley.
Susan, I sat in the
worst nightmare.
We were surrounded by zombies
and you cut my...
Shit! Shit! Shit!
Come on! Come on!
Go!
You have to drive.
Climb over me.
Climb over.
Look out my stump.
What is that then?
- Those are my balls.
Get your elbow out of my back.
Is it a bad time,
to take a rest?
It's a very bad time.
Are you serious?
I stuck it in the brain.
It seems as if he has a stroke.
Everyone is talking about acting.
Ok?, relax.
Put him in the first and then
the base of the acceleration
and your right foot on the accelerator.
- I know. Do not sit ride.
I said, slow acceleration.
- I'm trying.
You're a horrible instructor.
You're making me nervous.
Sorry, but those zombies out there
make me a little nervous.
Damn, women.
- Do not you dare say.
H?, you're good at this game.
That was the seventh...
How does your arm now?
He does only very, if I
move it.
So...
Does this mean a date?
I think you have a chance.
Considering you might be the last
are men on earth.
Well, that is still alive, in any case.
- Thank you, apocalypse.
Hey!
CLOSED FOR WORLD'S END
I think that is new.
Is that what I think it is?
No.
Even the drunken students would already
few hours ago have gone home.
That's bollocks.
Shit, here we go again.
Cut!
First positions.
Let's do another shot.
And ready!
Day 3:
Recordings on location of a
big budget New Zealand Docu-Drama.
"I SURVIVED A ZOMBIE HOLOCAUST"
Coffee, sir?
Put it on my chair.
Thank you.
"DIRECTOR"
This is it.
The big thing.
Show them who's boss. Great
work, guys. That was fantastic.
I still have?? s remark.
When I say that I do some more
heroism wants to see.
You were really scared.
- Wait a minute.
He fart actually a bit
in his pants.
I do not fart...
... There was no disc-
Can I talk to you?
I'm the writer, director
do you remember?
Is it really such a good idea for me
protective put for the whole crew.
That is unprofessional.
Well, I'm the lead actress and
co-producer, remember?
It is my responsibility to
so real as possible to show out.
I was pretty cool.
Certainly.
That is unprofessional.
But I'm going to allow it.
We go for the scared version.
- Right.
Ok?, everyone.
We're still going to shoot.
And remember, this is our big scene,
with all the zombies that come out of the city.
And it goes...
be spectacular.