Ice Cream Man (1995) Movie Script
1
- Yeah!
- Oh my god, Gregory,
oh my god my baby!
Are you all right, oh say something.
- Mom?
~ yes?
What is it my little foof?
- Who's gonna bring the
ice cream mommy?
- Mom the ice cream man's
here, the ice cream man's here!
- All right all
right lemme get my change.
Roger, I don't want you
going into my purse!
- Sorry mom, won't do it anymore!
- You get back here right now, Roger!
- Ice cream!
Uhm, can I have an orange push-up?
Hey what's your problem mister?
- You didn't say please.
- Yo man, I could be a
grandpa by the time
you get your push-up.
- Can I have my push-up, please?
- Hey tuna?
- All right give me your change.
- Creamsicle.
- Bomb pop.
- Next.
- Two creamsicles and a bomb pop.
- Try some of the
hard-packed, it's pistachio.
- Yo man, I said two
creamsicles and a bomb pop,
I don't need nuts, they give me gas.
That new ice cream
dude's pretty freaky.
- Maybe he's just different.
- Good ice cream is good ice cream.
Come on rocketeers, to the park.
- Race ya, girls against boys.
- Last one there is a rotten fart!
- Oh man...
- Girls win!
Hey watch it!
- Hey up yours!
You had a head start!
- Watch your mouth.
- At least you're not
the rotten fart again.
- Hey guys I've been waiting.
- Hey rocketeer.
- Hey small Paul.
- You guys got ice cream huh?
- Yeah a bomb pop!
- You
always get bomb pops.
- They're cool looking.
- Damn!
- Tuna, you're not gonna?
- Oh gross, tuna!
- Anybody want a bite?
- No thanks, most viral
contagions are passed through
oral submission.
- Hey small Paul, what's the book?
- Pied Piper.
- The kids threw pies at
him, get him, pied Piper!
- Hardy-hat, tuna.
- He cleaned the city of rats
by enchanting them with music.
- Well obviously he missed
one of the big ones.
- He led them to the
river and they drowned.
- Then, he got the kids.
- What kids?
- From the town, the adults
were trying to stiff the Piper
for the job he did on the rats.
So instead, the Piper led all
the kids down to the river,
and drowned them, just like the rats.
That's what happens when
you don't pay the Piper.
- Uh actually, I think
the kids got away.
- Oh, I thought
they all drowned.
- Nah the kids always get away.
- Kids.
- Ice cream man?
Do you feel okay?
- Yeah little boy, ice cream
man feels uh, very happy.
Very, very happy-
- well, what have we got
here, three weary pilgrims
back from a hard days adventure.
- Hi Mr. Langley.
- Hey Mr. Langley.
- You okay tuna?
- Yeah, I just
need a rest after carrying
these babies home.
- Oh yeah right!
- Heather darling have
you worked up an appetite?
- Yes, dad!
- Well boys if Mrs.
Langley and I had known
you were coming we'd have set a place.
- Oh that's all right,
we gotta get going.
- Be safe boys, godspeed.
- Hello puppy.
Are we having a bad day?
- Who's there?
' Happy day, nurse wharton!
- Gregory, did you hear my dog?
- No nurse wharton, i
did not hear your dog.
- What's that on your nose?
- It's grenadine, from
my ice cream treats.
- Well now that's nice
Gregory, that's very nice.
I swear I heard dinky cry.
- Well you know nurse
wharton, your hearing is not
what it used to be.
I've gotta unpack the truck,
the ice cream melts, bye.
- Always such a happy
boy, my little Gregory.
- Happy day, little puppy.
They'll love you.
- Did you see this,
my son shoots me dead
for going 30 in a 25 zone.
- Hey when I become a cop,
there's no more flesh and blood
it's just me and the law.
- We are very proud of you Jacob.
- Hmm, very proud!
- Where's racer?
- Sorry I'm late I was at
Heather's and tuna's mom
picked me up.
- What kinda name is that, tuna?
Tuna, tuna, it's so stupid.
- Now Jacob, tuna is a very nice boy.
- It's just dumb, I will
admit the twerp does stink
like a rotten fish though.
- Hey hey this is not very
nice dinner conversation.
Racer, come on eat, here you go.
- I got it.
- That is the stupidest
thing I ever heard, tuna.
Honey, what should we name the kid?
Oh tuna, there's a good name!
- Hello, oh hi!
Well no I was just, really?
You're kidding me!
- Hey stop it at this table.
- Well maybe he just
lost his way home.
- Have some respect
at the table you little twerp.
- No, oh tuna?
- Will somebody tell
me where I lost control?
- At Marcy's, okay?
- Honey will you save me?
- Okay, bye.
- The inmates have taken over.
- Johnny, did you see
little Roger Smith today?
- He was at the park, why?
- Because he hasn't come home
yet his mother's worried sick.
- Did she call the police?
- Not yet, Johnny, i
don't want you out after
dark anymore okay?
- Oh come on!
- In fact Jacob, why don't
you and Janet take him
to the movies tomorrow?
- This is great.
I'm definitely not going to a g film.
- Be happy, be happy,
oh happy happy happy!
Oh happy, happy happy, happy hap!
- Open wide Gregory, Gregory?
Gregory?
Are you all right Gregory?
Rent's due in a couple of days.
- Four gallons?
- Five, and I want rocky road.
- I'll make it special nurse wharton.
- I'm glad I can watch
over you Gregory.
Besides, this old parlor
was starting to look like
a lost soul to me.
I do so wish you'd
plant them in my yard.
- I will bring the ice cream tomorrow.
- That'll be just fine.
- So take the bus
back and don't be late,
or mom will kill me and then
I'll have to kill you, okay?
- Yeah yeah no problem.
- Oh yeah, lose
some weight fish boy.
- Hey dad.
- Hey, my number one son.
And his tag team.
- Yeah, we just saw a movie.
- Oh yeah, what, target to kill?
- Sleeping beauty.
- Oh we'll just have to
see that this weekend,
don't tell your mother.
Martin cassera.
Hey gorgeous, keeping that
oven heated up, it's your mom.
- She's really pretty.
- Martin!
But I really wanna see you tonight.
- Yeah I can't wait.
I'll see you tonight then.
Well, dad's gotta get back to work.
But, ah ah ah, later.
Bye.
- Bye.
- Thanks, dad.
Oh and um, by the way what's
mom cooking in the oven?
- Come on tuna.
- We got a missing kid,
thought maybe you might've seen
something, little guy never
made it home from the park
last night.
- Oh no, have any leads?
- It's classified ice
cream man, it's classified.
- Listen all I want you to do
is keep your eyes open for us.
- Sure, who am I looking for?
- Anything strange.
So how about some of that
world-famous hard back
I've been hearing about?
- It's rocky road today.
- Do me two scoops on a sugar cone.
- It'll be two dollars.
- You
got a buck I can bum?
Go check with the neighbors...
- Here you go detective, just for you.
- Hey now that's an ice cream cone!
Hmm, what's in it?
- It's classified
officer, classified.
- Oh you're a quick one, ice
cream man, you're a quick one.
- What do you think officer?
- Don't worry about
it lady we'll find your boy.
- Can we buy you an ice cream?
- No thanks.
- Can we buy you an ice cream?
- What I was trying to cheer her up.
- Ladies first.
My, I'd like to buy a
gallon of your hard pack?
Do you deliver?
- No.
- 149, that cute little
house right over there.
Come anytime.
Charming, 149.
- Man she stinks.
- Oh you should talk.
- I wonder how many whales they killed
to make all that perfume.
- They don't kill whales
for perfume anymore.
- Next.
- What, whales and perfume?
- Next!
- Um, three hard packs and a bomb pop.
- Make mine a fudgcicle.
- Yeah and make mine a hard pack.
- Risky of you.
- Uhm, all right, three
hard packs and a fudgcicle.
- Plain, sugar, or a new waffle cone?
- Uhm, sugar.
- Sugar.
- I'll have plain.
- Actually, make mine plain too.
- Any other alterations?
Three hard packs, and your fudgcicle.
- Last one on the
hill is a smelly fart.
- Oh man...
- 149...
- There are no bad days,
Gregory, only happy,
happy, happy days.
Now, what kind of day
are you having Gregory?
- Uh guys I'm gonna go in alone okay?
- Can we play tomorrow?
- Yeah, yeah.
- All right.
- I'll see you guys later okay?
- All right, later.
- Heather, Heather, come quickly!
The archangel Gabriel's speaking
through your mother again.
Heather?
- Hey you know, Heather's
been acting a lot weirder
around her mom lately.
- Well her father being
a minister, all the more
they just talk about god.
- No but that's not it,
it's just, I don't know,
she's just, acting weird.
- Anybody for ice cream.
- Nah, we just had ice cream.
- Can you ever have
too much ice cream?
- Impossible.
- Nah, I gotta get home,
my mom's gonna kill me.
- Come into my house
with small Paul and me.
- I gotta get home.
- Tuna?
- Ah, my mom certainly gets
mad about all the ice cream
I spill on my shirts.
- Last one there is a
string of squint snot!
- What, now small Paul's trying
to pin the rotten egg on me.
I'll see if I ever invite
you to my birthday party.
- What, I didn't do anything.
- Hello?
- Oh, well well.
What do we have here,
want some ice cream?
- Uhm, uhm, maybe not.
It's too close to dinner.
- Ah come on, what's
your favorite flavor.
Oh no wait wait let me
guess, let me guess,
don't say anything, I uh,
it's uhm, I can taste it!
Butter brickle.
- How'd you know that?
- Because it's my favorite flavor too.
- Wow.
- You like my ice cream truck?
- Yeah, I never saw
the insides before.
- You know, it's hard to meet
friends when you're always
stuck on the inside.
- I know, I had to stay inside
a lot when I was little.
Because I was really sick.
That's why I'm so small.
- You know, I was sick
too when I was little.
But I'm better now.
Here you go!
- Wow, I don't think i
have enough money for that.
- My treat.
Hey little boy, you want
some free ice cream?
Ah this little fella got
hurt, I'm gonna take him
to the hospital.
Hey!
Hey, hey hey!
You little turds are
gonna have to learn
you can't run from the ice cream man,
I know where you live,
you tell anybody,
I'm gonna get your mom and dad!
- Who's that?
What's the matter?
How long have you been here?
- All night.
The ice cream man, he...
He, he, he killed the park guy!
- He killed small Paul.
- So what do we do?
- My dad will know what to do.
- He's out there.
- I'll follow you to your
house, and go through
the backyards to let
you to mine, come on.
- I drove by the bank an
hour ago and the whole place
was shut up, dark as a tomb.
- So, I drove by
the bar after I got off,
what of it?
- Oh so now the story changes
to you left work on time,
but you hung out at a
bar for four hours?
Mister, shoes on the
porch, you know the rules.
- No, I worked late
and then I got one at the bar.
- Mom, I saw--
- come on Marion!
Just admit it, you think
I'm seeing someone else.
- Think, I know you're
seeing somebody else Martin,
come on Martin, who is it, tell me.
- Let's not do this again.
- Dad i--
- not now, Chris, go to your room!
- But dad!
- I said go to your room.
I knew you'd had problems
with my longer hours.
- Come on, why don't you
just admit it, stop working
the facade.
- How many times
we gotta go through this.
- To hell with you.
- Oh sure that'll solve
everything huh, to hell with me?
Come over here, don't
walk away from me.
You know Marion, I got
news for you, and I know,
that you're gonna think...
What the hell is that ice
cream dork doing out this late?
- Come on tuna let's go, we
gotta make it to the store
and back before my pinochle game.
- All right all right, I'm coming.
- Well let's go then.
God tuna you can make a
mess, go find another pair,
come on let's go.
Hey Sam.
- Morning miss cassera,
nice to see you.
Here you go, thanks honey.
- Mom!
- Oh oh excuse me, what do
you think of this color.
I don't know either, I mean
according to my color charts
it should work, but last time
i followed those I ended up
looking like a clown
spotted with cherry syrup.
- Cherry syrup is good, looks
good on you, get a dozen!
Where's the fatty?
- It's okay little fella,
I'm not gonna hurt you.
- What on earth do you
suppose he was running from?
- I don't know.
- Well maybe you should
go in and talk with him,
I'm sure once you do that we
can get to the bottom of this.
By the way, you're not gonna
take this to court are you?
- Chris what happened.
Oh honey I'm here.
Don't worry now come on
tell me what happened.
Chris, unless you tell
me what happened,
mommy can't help you.
- He said he'd kill you if I told.
- What, who said that?
- The ice cream man.
He killed small Paul last night.
- Oh my god, oh honey.
- Nice to see you again officers.
- You Gregory tudor?
- Yes, yes I am.
- Give him the warrant.
- Can I keep this?
- You got any large
dogs, ice cream man?
- No.
Why the search officers?
- I want you
go through everything,
you find any hollowed doors or floors,
bust 'em open, you got it?
- Yes sir.
- Hell I remember getting ice
cream here when I was a kid.
Who was the guy who owned it?
- Brickle, butch brickle.
- Oh yeah the ice cream king.
It's nice to see somebody's
opening the place up again.
Well sounds like we're
missing out on all the fun.
- Oh, that, that, hey, hey!
Could you search a little,
uh, more careful please.
More careful?
Hey uhm...
This is a collectable.
- Jesus, hate to get
my hand caught in that.
- I use it to chop nuts.
- Did you find, did you find anything?
- There's nothing
down here sir.
- Do you realize how long it
takes to make butter brickle?
- Well
ice cream man, we're sorry,
we didn't find anything.
- Are you sorry you didn't
find anything and wrecked my
place, or are you just sorry
you didn't find anything.
- You boys have the wrong
house, I'm the one with
the missing dog.
- Whoa, hold it, hold it.
- Where were you last
night around six?
- He was here,
working to pay his rent.
Why are you bothering this poor boy.
I'm the one with the missing dog.
- Who are you?
- I'm nurse wharton,
Gregory's landlord,
neighbor and guardian,
serve and protect my ass.
- You have to understand,
the people get pretty uptight
when there's a missing child involved.
- But I'm the ice cream man.
I make children happy.
Today you ruined the
happiness of those children
for many days to come.
Do you understand the consequences?
- You know I never thought
about it like that.
- Yeah I bet you didn't.
- You call this number tomorrow,
tell 'em what happened.
I'm sure that the city
is gonna help you.
- What about my dog?
- You know, those
daisies are magnificent,
how do you do that?
- Actually I chop up policemen
and use 'em as fertilizer,
they make great fertilizer.
- You know, there's something
weird going on here.
Get some background on that guy.
- You got a hunch?
- I might, let's put a
tail on him anyway.
- You know, I'm sure your
dog is around here somewhere.
- That's very sweet of you
Gregory, you have a happy day.
- Remember, no bad days
Gregory, only happy,
happy happy days!
- Oh no, don't don't worry,
I'm not gonna hurt you.
What do you think little boy?
- Are you having a bad day?
- Yeah, you're right.
Not every day is a happy
happy happy day.
Ice cream professor?
- Butter brickle.
- He's gotta keep quiet.
- Suffer little children,
Jesus, so wisely admonished
his disciples on the coasts
of judea, suffer not to come
onto thee, for of such
is the kingdom of heaven.
Always remember that
neither death nor power,
nor hate, nor any
creature shall be able
to separate us from the love
of god which eternally rests
in Christ, Jesus, our lord and savior.
Let us pray.
- I told the police
everything, they'll get him.
- Yeah but I'm still
grounded for a month.
- Hey don't worry, there
might be an opening
in the rocketeers.
- Hey guys, let's go.
- Small Paul's dead.
- No one else
seems to think anything's wrong.
- But how could
they let him go?
- All I know, is I'm
not letting him get us.
All the grown-ups worry
about their stupid problems.
- What we need to do,
is catch him on film.
- Since when do kids
go trailing murderers?
We're just kids we'll get
killed, just like small Paul.
- Look tuna, I know you've
been through a lot more
than we have but we
gotta do something.
- Why why is it up to us,
why can't we just stay
in our backyards and
just keep away from him.
- Because we're the rocketeers
and we stick together.
- We're doing this.
- The three of us.
- We'll need a camera, we
can take a picture of him
and give it to the police.
- Hang on I think I can get one.
- That was a bird?
- I can't do bird calls.
- But you said you could!
- But I don't wanna look stupid.
- I got news for you.
- Shut up!
- Ssshht, I can hear you guys
all the way in the backyard,
let's go!
Okay guys it's 11:45, we've
been out for 35 minutes.
- Let's take a break.
- You know, maybe the
ice cream man thinks he's
the pied Piper.
- Huh?
- Well he drives around in
his truck playing the music,
and all the kids come running.
But then if he catches
one of them alone--
- yeah well uhm, let's
not talk about right now.
- Get down!
Let's go.
- Come on tuna!
- Tuna, come on!
- Where the hell is he going?
- Ssshh!
Small Paul!
- I wanna go back, I wanna go back!
What's he doing to small Paul?
- I don't know,
i can't tell, what is it?
- It's...
It's ice cream.
- I'm fixing up a little
party for you.
Yeah you're gonna
like this one.
Looks like you got a lot of friends.
I didn't know how
much ice cream to bring,
you can pass it out later.
I'm doing really good.
Yeah, they love ice cream.
It's gonna be a good summer.
Hey would you mind your business,
I'm talking to somebody.
You guys having a party?
You having a happy, happy day?
It sure is getting noisy around here.
- Butch brickle, ice cream king.
- Let's go.
- Okay.
- 149.
- I lost track of tuna,
we'd better get back.
- You go.
- What?
- I'll be fine.
Just gimme your bike
so I can have a rocket.
- I don't think so.
- Don't worry, I'm a rocketeer.
Just make sure tuna
didn't fall or something.
Meet me back here,
all right, and hurry.
- Tuna you okay?
- No!
- What's wrong?
- My sides are killing me
and I feel like I wanna puke.
Hey where's Heather?
- I left her back at
the ice cream truck.
- Small Paul?
- Holy shit, the kid's got a gun!
This isn't a game boys, there's
a child stalker out there
and you two are
playing cops and robbers.
- But what about
Heather she's gonna die,
the ice cream man's got her!
- I've already called it
in, there's someone already
on the way to her house.
- Her house, she's not at her house!
- Hey!
You guys wanna end
up on the milk carton?
- I'm sorry to disturb
you reverend Langley,
but we had a report that your
daughter Heather was missing.
- No she's tucked away in
bed, has been all night.
What's the matter Charles?
- I hate to do this sir, but
could you please check on her?
- She's sleeping like a baby.
Come to church on Sunday Charles,
I'm giving a sermon on trust.
- Damn!
- The Langley girl is
fine, sleeping like a baby.
- 10-4.
- Look boys, enough of these stories.
- But--
- first the ice cream man
kills the weatherly boy,
and now the Langley girl?
I mean we've had it up to here.
- When do you want 'em?
- It says one hour.
- You could get hard
duplicates, or you could our
eight hour service for,
10, it depends on how
many exposures come out.
- I need those immediately.
- Four by six oversize, is?
14 bucks, three by five regular?
- How soon?
- One hour.
14 bucks, one day,
- Back in an hour.
The ice cream man is like
the pied Piper, only evil.
- What?
- You know he drives
around in this truck,
temping all the kids,
and they follow him.
And slowly he gets rids
of them, like rats.
- Hah, another!
- Lovely, we only need 10
dollars worth of quarters,
then we can pick up the film.
- I think we got it!
- Oh yeah!
- Johnny!
What the hell are you
doing with my camera?
Where's the film?
I'll start with you?
Where's the film?
- Oh here.
- Let's go, come on
i got it, let's go!
- Hey, get that hunk
ofjunk outta here.
Hey, hey ice cream man!
Come on let's go, I'm in a hurry here.
Go, come on this isn't a parking lot.
Hey, ice cream man!
This is not a hunk ofjunk!
- Well hello.
If I had known this was delivery day,
why that stand in would've
never made it through the door.
- I brought you something special.
- Oh, sounds yummy.
You know, we should swap recipes,
creamsicle for custard pie.
- Well I check out ice cream
man, couldn't find squat.
But that weird lady with the dog.
I remember she was just
as flipped as he was.
- You're
talking about the nurse.
- Yeah nurse wharton.
I called and checked
on her nursing license,
she had a career from 1950 to 1993.
Spent the last 20 at some
private clinic called
wishing well, for the
mentally disturbed.
- I can't believe those
little perverts,
what the hell were they
doing developing my pictures.
- Oh my god!
- I'm gonna kill those bastards.
- You know, this is the whole
secret to making ice cream.
It's this kinda secret
ingredient I put in it.
Here come on let's go put it in.
You gotta just dump a
little bit of this stuff in.
Makes it sweet, see, you gotta
just put a little bit in,
it's the, special amount you put in.
Now, the trick is, is
stirring it in just right.
Would you like to stir?
- Yeah.
- All right, here you go.
Oh now watch your hand, that blade,
that blade will take
your hand right off.
There you go.
Cool!
- Do you really think your
brother's gonna pick up
those pictures without
looking at them?
- I don't know, he's stupid enough.
- Well what happens if
he's not?
Geez what are you, stupid?
- Did you see the truck?
- No.
I gotta get home.
If my mom finds out
i snuck out again--
- we'll ride with you.
- I'll be fine.
- We're riding with you.
- Yeah, things aren't the
same as they used to be
around here, more patients have died,
and some pockets dried up.
Hmm, of course when
you die, you'll dry up.
- Why all the plastic flowers?
- Because real ones die.
We want happy patients.
- So do you do shock therapy lobotomy,
like that cuckoo movie?
- Oh, we believe in
keeping our patients happy.
We believe in compassion.
- Help me!
- Shut up!
- You remember a nurse wharton?
- Do I, oh oh oh!
Hell everybody did!
- What was it that
everybody liked so much
about nurse wharton?
- She gave everybody
ice cream, when the pain
and the loneliness came,
she cared for the patient.
Gregory was her favorite.
- Greqoty?
Gregory tudor?
- Oh god, do something!
- Anthony's getting out of hand.
I must ask you two to leave.
This is not a happy day.
- Oh my god.
- Remember, only happy days.
- A bad day gentlemen, a very bad day!
Ha ha ha, come out come
out wherever you are,
come out come out wherever you are,
come out come out wherever you are.
- Only happy days.
Only happy days.
- Let's get outta here,
I'll report it to
the county sheriffs, this
isn't our jurisdiction.
- Go get-
- all right I'll meet you at the car.
- No one leaves the wishing
well, doctor's orders!
- Ah, they're everywhere!
Cloverdale, this is detective
maldwyn, riverside pd.
Emergency, repeat, emergency!
- Go ahead detective.
- Yeah we're at the
wishing well hospital,
get some people down here quick.
- Do you have an
address on the wishing well?
- Get off of me, get off of me!
Stay, get in!
Come on let's get outta here.
Get away, go!
- Come on tuna!
- Be quiet.
I'm moving as fast as I can.
- That's your fastest?
- Shut up!
- No you shut up!
Oh crap!
- Back to the Johnny's!
Go, hurry up!
- Hurry, hurry!
Don't stop peadling!
He's gonna run us over, go!
- Patrolling for tuna.
You're ice cream.
- Okay pump it.
One more time.
Good, all right shut it off.
- Jacob, Jacob, call the
police, call the police,
the ice cream man just got tuna!
- Calm down, calm down,
we can't call the police.
- Call the--
- you're the guys who cried wolf.
Look, besides we
don't have any evidence,
and obviously either do the police,
or they would have him by now, so,
this is my chance to mess him up.
- Come on, we gotta do something.
- Cut the lone ranger shit,
you're not a police officer.
- Janet, I got the gun,
the badge will follow.
- Oh no.
- Listen.
You guys, you're gonna
get in the car all right,
anything goes wrong, all
you have to do is call in
the radio, you call in
for backup all right.
- Hurry!
- All right.
- Look I think we should
just call the police.
- No look let's just
go help the fat kid
while there's still time,
get in the car,
please I need you to look
after these two.
- There's still no sign
of Charlie or Gus?
- No word.
- Well get some backup over
at the ice cream parlor.
And keep trying to
reach those officers.
- Who is he?
- The king.
- Yes.
- He's like the pied Piper.
Chases away all the bad,
and leaves a world of good.
' Yes!
- Now it's illegal to use
this channel unless you're pd,
so nobody calls in unless
it's an emergency, okay?
Now this is serious.
I want you all to stay in
the car no matter what,
you hear shots or screams
or anything funny,
you press the button, you radio it in,
and then you hit my alarm okay?
It sounds like a police siren.
- Be careful.
- Sounds like we got a
customer, come on!
I'll be right back.
- What's he doing?
- I don't know.
But he'd better get the
hell outta there soon!
Come on Jacob.
- Hiya honey!
Now that's what I call a brain freeze.
Creamsicle?
This is gonna be fun.
- Come on!
Come on!
- Wait!
- How are we gonna get outta here?
- I know, we'll find a way,
we'll find a way outta here.
- Psst, hey
kids, over here, I'm a cop!
What are you doing running
from the ice cream man.
Don't you know that he
slaves day and night
to make his treats for you?
It's like big ice always
said, you can't always find
a sweet kid, but you
can make a kid sweet!
- Come on, please, come on!
- Hey kids don't you
know there's a curfew?
Kids, always getting in trouble.
Kinda makes your head spin.
Yeah, looks like yours spun right off!
Boy, I didn't know you oops had
such a Hardy sense of humor.
That's us, Hardy.
Good humor!
Shut up, you're not funny.
- I can't get over it!
- Don't you know you can't run
from the long arm of the law?
- Oh shit, oh shit!
- Come on!
- Hey frank, you can't
just jump on women,
you gotta take it slow, charm 'em.
I guess two heads
aren't better than one.
- Where do we go?
- There.
- Hey guys!
- Gregory?
What's all this infernal racket?
- Sorry nurse wharton.
Some of the neighborhood
kids wanted to play
hide and seek, I told 'em
it was too late but they...
- Oh my little Gregor always
so kind to the little children.
- We'll try to be more quiet.
- Okay, good luck.
- What are we gonna do.
- Ssshh, just stay quiet.
- He's gonna get us, he's gonna get us
just like everybody else.
- No!
There's somebody in there.
- Let's get help!
- Hurry, open up, open up!
- Open, please, hurry up!
- What is all this noise?
- He's after us.
- The ice cream man!
- Oh my, quick, quick we'll
have to hide you, come on.
Come on inside quickly, hide
and seek, hide and seek.
- We're over at the
spodak house, we have a report
of three missing kids now.
- I don't give a damn.
Warrant or not we're going in.
- You kids don't wanna play
with the ice cream man?
You like his treats, but
you don't stick by him
when he needs you?
Oh who died and made you prince?
What, are you trying to run?
No, you can't run
from the ice cream man.
If you do that, you
won't get any ice cream.
- Hey!
Freeze, I mean it!
- Kiddo, you want some ice cream?
Yeah how about some ice cream huh?
Yeah you like that.
This one's mine.
- You keep that
kid visible at all times.
- Let me see the kid!
- I hate the
term blueberry man.
- Check the back.
- Well, where was I?
- Psst, Gregory.
- Ah, my little twin pops.
- No he'll kill us!
- Gregory wins hide
and seek, Gregory wins!
- Gregory!
- Butch?
Butch brickle?
Ice cream man?
- Now Gregory, you're
going to be with us
a very long time, and I want
you to get something straight,
there are no bad days
here at wishing well,
only happy days, what kind of
a day are you having Gregory?
- Gregory?
- It's a happy day.
Thanks ice cream man.
Happy, happy day-
- who's the pied Piper
now ice cream dick?
- Did you find my dog?
- Small Paul!
- Where's Gregory?
- Hi Johnny.
Hey guys-
- hey.
- Hi.
- Woo.
- Oh thanks.
You ready?
Let's do it.
- All right.
- Wow.
- All right, yeah!
- Welcome to you.
- So where's small Paul?
- Where else?
. Therapy-
- Yeah!
- Oh my god, Gregory,
oh my god my baby!
Are you all right, oh say something.
- Mom?
~ yes?
What is it my little foof?
- Who's gonna bring the
ice cream mommy?
- Mom the ice cream man's
here, the ice cream man's here!
- All right all
right lemme get my change.
Roger, I don't want you
going into my purse!
- Sorry mom, won't do it anymore!
- You get back here right now, Roger!
- Ice cream!
Uhm, can I have an orange push-up?
Hey what's your problem mister?
- You didn't say please.
- Yo man, I could be a
grandpa by the time
you get your push-up.
- Can I have my push-up, please?
- Hey tuna?
- All right give me your change.
- Creamsicle.
- Bomb pop.
- Next.
- Two creamsicles and a bomb pop.
- Try some of the
hard-packed, it's pistachio.
- Yo man, I said two
creamsicles and a bomb pop,
I don't need nuts, they give me gas.
That new ice cream
dude's pretty freaky.
- Maybe he's just different.
- Good ice cream is good ice cream.
Come on rocketeers, to the park.
- Race ya, girls against boys.
- Last one there is a rotten fart!
- Oh man...
- Girls win!
Hey watch it!
- Hey up yours!
You had a head start!
- Watch your mouth.
- At least you're not
the rotten fart again.
- Hey guys I've been waiting.
- Hey rocketeer.
- Hey small Paul.
- You guys got ice cream huh?
- Yeah a bomb pop!
- You
always get bomb pops.
- They're cool looking.
- Damn!
- Tuna, you're not gonna?
- Oh gross, tuna!
- Anybody want a bite?
- No thanks, most viral
contagions are passed through
oral submission.
- Hey small Paul, what's the book?
- Pied Piper.
- The kids threw pies at
him, get him, pied Piper!
- Hardy-hat, tuna.
- He cleaned the city of rats
by enchanting them with music.
- Well obviously he missed
one of the big ones.
- He led them to the
river and they drowned.
- Then, he got the kids.
- What kids?
- From the town, the adults
were trying to stiff the Piper
for the job he did on the rats.
So instead, the Piper led all
the kids down to the river,
and drowned them, just like the rats.
That's what happens when
you don't pay the Piper.
- Uh actually, I think
the kids got away.
- Oh, I thought
they all drowned.
- Nah the kids always get away.
- Kids.
- Ice cream man?
Do you feel okay?
- Yeah little boy, ice cream
man feels uh, very happy.
Very, very happy-
- well, what have we got
here, three weary pilgrims
back from a hard days adventure.
- Hi Mr. Langley.
- Hey Mr. Langley.
- You okay tuna?
- Yeah, I just
need a rest after carrying
these babies home.
- Oh yeah right!
- Heather darling have
you worked up an appetite?
- Yes, dad!
- Well boys if Mrs.
Langley and I had known
you were coming we'd have set a place.
- Oh that's all right,
we gotta get going.
- Be safe boys, godspeed.
- Hello puppy.
Are we having a bad day?
- Who's there?
' Happy day, nurse wharton!
- Gregory, did you hear my dog?
- No nurse wharton, i
did not hear your dog.
- What's that on your nose?
- It's grenadine, from
my ice cream treats.
- Well now that's nice
Gregory, that's very nice.
I swear I heard dinky cry.
- Well you know nurse
wharton, your hearing is not
what it used to be.
I've gotta unpack the truck,
the ice cream melts, bye.
- Always such a happy
boy, my little Gregory.
- Happy day, little puppy.
They'll love you.
- Did you see this,
my son shoots me dead
for going 30 in a 25 zone.
- Hey when I become a cop,
there's no more flesh and blood
it's just me and the law.
- We are very proud of you Jacob.
- Hmm, very proud!
- Where's racer?
- Sorry I'm late I was at
Heather's and tuna's mom
picked me up.
- What kinda name is that, tuna?
Tuna, tuna, it's so stupid.
- Now Jacob, tuna is a very nice boy.
- It's just dumb, I will
admit the twerp does stink
like a rotten fish though.
- Hey hey this is not very
nice dinner conversation.
Racer, come on eat, here you go.
- I got it.
- That is the stupidest
thing I ever heard, tuna.
Honey, what should we name the kid?
Oh tuna, there's a good name!
- Hello, oh hi!
Well no I was just, really?
You're kidding me!
- Hey stop it at this table.
- Well maybe he just
lost his way home.
- Have some respect
at the table you little twerp.
- No, oh tuna?
- Will somebody tell
me where I lost control?
- At Marcy's, okay?
- Honey will you save me?
- Okay, bye.
- The inmates have taken over.
- Johnny, did you see
little Roger Smith today?
- He was at the park, why?
- Because he hasn't come home
yet his mother's worried sick.
- Did she call the police?
- Not yet, Johnny, i
don't want you out after
dark anymore okay?
- Oh come on!
- In fact Jacob, why don't
you and Janet take him
to the movies tomorrow?
- This is great.
I'm definitely not going to a g film.
- Be happy, be happy,
oh happy happy happy!
Oh happy, happy happy, happy hap!
- Open wide Gregory, Gregory?
Gregory?
Are you all right Gregory?
Rent's due in a couple of days.
- Four gallons?
- Five, and I want rocky road.
- I'll make it special nurse wharton.
- I'm glad I can watch
over you Gregory.
Besides, this old parlor
was starting to look like
a lost soul to me.
I do so wish you'd
plant them in my yard.
- I will bring the ice cream tomorrow.
- That'll be just fine.
- So take the bus
back and don't be late,
or mom will kill me and then
I'll have to kill you, okay?
- Yeah yeah no problem.
- Oh yeah, lose
some weight fish boy.
- Hey dad.
- Hey, my number one son.
And his tag team.
- Yeah, we just saw a movie.
- Oh yeah, what, target to kill?
- Sleeping beauty.
- Oh we'll just have to
see that this weekend,
don't tell your mother.
Martin cassera.
Hey gorgeous, keeping that
oven heated up, it's your mom.
- She's really pretty.
- Martin!
But I really wanna see you tonight.
- Yeah I can't wait.
I'll see you tonight then.
Well, dad's gotta get back to work.
But, ah ah ah, later.
Bye.
- Bye.
- Thanks, dad.
Oh and um, by the way what's
mom cooking in the oven?
- Come on tuna.
- We got a missing kid,
thought maybe you might've seen
something, little guy never
made it home from the park
last night.
- Oh no, have any leads?
- It's classified ice
cream man, it's classified.
- Listen all I want you to do
is keep your eyes open for us.
- Sure, who am I looking for?
- Anything strange.
So how about some of that
world-famous hard back
I've been hearing about?
- It's rocky road today.
- Do me two scoops on a sugar cone.
- It'll be two dollars.
- You
got a buck I can bum?
Go check with the neighbors...
- Here you go detective, just for you.
- Hey now that's an ice cream cone!
Hmm, what's in it?
- It's classified
officer, classified.
- Oh you're a quick one, ice
cream man, you're a quick one.
- What do you think officer?
- Don't worry about
it lady we'll find your boy.
- Can we buy you an ice cream?
- No thanks.
- Can we buy you an ice cream?
- What I was trying to cheer her up.
- Ladies first.
My, I'd like to buy a
gallon of your hard pack?
Do you deliver?
- No.
- 149, that cute little
house right over there.
Come anytime.
Charming, 149.
- Man she stinks.
- Oh you should talk.
- I wonder how many whales they killed
to make all that perfume.
- They don't kill whales
for perfume anymore.
- Next.
- What, whales and perfume?
- Next!
- Um, three hard packs and a bomb pop.
- Make mine a fudgcicle.
- Yeah and make mine a hard pack.
- Risky of you.
- Uhm, all right, three
hard packs and a fudgcicle.
- Plain, sugar, or a new waffle cone?
- Uhm, sugar.
- Sugar.
- I'll have plain.
- Actually, make mine plain too.
- Any other alterations?
Three hard packs, and your fudgcicle.
- Last one on the
hill is a smelly fart.
- Oh man...
- 149...
- There are no bad days,
Gregory, only happy,
happy, happy days.
Now, what kind of day
are you having Gregory?
- Uh guys I'm gonna go in alone okay?
- Can we play tomorrow?
- Yeah, yeah.
- All right.
- I'll see you guys later okay?
- All right, later.
- Heather, Heather, come quickly!
The archangel Gabriel's speaking
through your mother again.
Heather?
- Hey you know, Heather's
been acting a lot weirder
around her mom lately.
- Well her father being
a minister, all the more
they just talk about god.
- No but that's not it,
it's just, I don't know,
she's just, acting weird.
- Anybody for ice cream.
- Nah, we just had ice cream.
- Can you ever have
too much ice cream?
- Impossible.
- Nah, I gotta get home,
my mom's gonna kill me.
- Come into my house
with small Paul and me.
- I gotta get home.
- Tuna?
- Ah, my mom certainly gets
mad about all the ice cream
I spill on my shirts.
- Last one there is a
string of squint snot!
- What, now small Paul's trying
to pin the rotten egg on me.
I'll see if I ever invite
you to my birthday party.
- What, I didn't do anything.
- Hello?
- Oh, well well.
What do we have here,
want some ice cream?
- Uhm, uhm, maybe not.
It's too close to dinner.
- Ah come on, what's
your favorite flavor.
Oh no wait wait let me
guess, let me guess,
don't say anything, I uh,
it's uhm, I can taste it!
Butter brickle.
- How'd you know that?
- Because it's my favorite flavor too.
- Wow.
- You like my ice cream truck?
- Yeah, I never saw
the insides before.
- You know, it's hard to meet
friends when you're always
stuck on the inside.
- I know, I had to stay inside
a lot when I was little.
Because I was really sick.
That's why I'm so small.
- You know, I was sick
too when I was little.
But I'm better now.
Here you go!
- Wow, I don't think i
have enough money for that.
- My treat.
Hey little boy, you want
some free ice cream?
Ah this little fella got
hurt, I'm gonna take him
to the hospital.
Hey!
Hey, hey hey!
You little turds are
gonna have to learn
you can't run from the ice cream man,
I know where you live,
you tell anybody,
I'm gonna get your mom and dad!
- Who's that?
What's the matter?
How long have you been here?
- All night.
The ice cream man, he...
He, he, he killed the park guy!
- He killed small Paul.
- So what do we do?
- My dad will know what to do.
- He's out there.
- I'll follow you to your
house, and go through
the backyards to let
you to mine, come on.
- I drove by the bank an
hour ago and the whole place
was shut up, dark as a tomb.
- So, I drove by
the bar after I got off,
what of it?
- Oh so now the story changes
to you left work on time,
but you hung out at a
bar for four hours?
Mister, shoes on the
porch, you know the rules.
- No, I worked late
and then I got one at the bar.
- Mom, I saw--
- come on Marion!
Just admit it, you think
I'm seeing someone else.
- Think, I know you're
seeing somebody else Martin,
come on Martin, who is it, tell me.
- Let's not do this again.
- Dad i--
- not now, Chris, go to your room!
- But dad!
- I said go to your room.
I knew you'd had problems
with my longer hours.
- Come on, why don't you
just admit it, stop working
the facade.
- How many times
we gotta go through this.
- To hell with you.
- Oh sure that'll solve
everything huh, to hell with me?
Come over here, don't
walk away from me.
You know Marion, I got
news for you, and I know,
that you're gonna think...
What the hell is that ice
cream dork doing out this late?
- Come on tuna let's go, we
gotta make it to the store
and back before my pinochle game.
- All right all right, I'm coming.
- Well let's go then.
God tuna you can make a
mess, go find another pair,
come on let's go.
Hey Sam.
- Morning miss cassera,
nice to see you.
Here you go, thanks honey.
- Mom!
- Oh oh excuse me, what do
you think of this color.
I don't know either, I mean
according to my color charts
it should work, but last time
i followed those I ended up
looking like a clown
spotted with cherry syrup.
- Cherry syrup is good, looks
good on you, get a dozen!
Where's the fatty?
- It's okay little fella,
I'm not gonna hurt you.
- What on earth do you
suppose he was running from?
- I don't know.
- Well maybe you should
go in and talk with him,
I'm sure once you do that we
can get to the bottom of this.
By the way, you're not gonna
take this to court are you?
- Chris what happened.
Oh honey I'm here.
Don't worry now come on
tell me what happened.
Chris, unless you tell
me what happened,
mommy can't help you.
- He said he'd kill you if I told.
- What, who said that?
- The ice cream man.
He killed small Paul last night.
- Oh my god, oh honey.
- Nice to see you again officers.
- You Gregory tudor?
- Yes, yes I am.
- Give him the warrant.
- Can I keep this?
- You got any large
dogs, ice cream man?
- No.
Why the search officers?
- I want you
go through everything,
you find any hollowed doors or floors,
bust 'em open, you got it?
- Yes sir.
- Hell I remember getting ice
cream here when I was a kid.
Who was the guy who owned it?
- Brickle, butch brickle.
- Oh yeah the ice cream king.
It's nice to see somebody's
opening the place up again.
Well sounds like we're
missing out on all the fun.
- Oh, that, that, hey, hey!
Could you search a little,
uh, more careful please.
More careful?
Hey uhm...
This is a collectable.
- Jesus, hate to get
my hand caught in that.
- I use it to chop nuts.
- Did you find, did you find anything?
- There's nothing
down here sir.
- Do you realize how long it
takes to make butter brickle?
- Well
ice cream man, we're sorry,
we didn't find anything.
- Are you sorry you didn't
find anything and wrecked my
place, or are you just sorry
you didn't find anything.
- You boys have the wrong
house, I'm the one with
the missing dog.
- Whoa, hold it, hold it.
- Where were you last
night around six?
- He was here,
working to pay his rent.
Why are you bothering this poor boy.
I'm the one with the missing dog.
- Who are you?
- I'm nurse wharton,
Gregory's landlord,
neighbor and guardian,
serve and protect my ass.
- You have to understand,
the people get pretty uptight
when there's a missing child involved.
- But I'm the ice cream man.
I make children happy.
Today you ruined the
happiness of those children
for many days to come.
Do you understand the consequences?
- You know I never thought
about it like that.
- Yeah I bet you didn't.
- You call this number tomorrow,
tell 'em what happened.
I'm sure that the city
is gonna help you.
- What about my dog?
- You know, those
daisies are magnificent,
how do you do that?
- Actually I chop up policemen
and use 'em as fertilizer,
they make great fertilizer.
- You know, there's something
weird going on here.
Get some background on that guy.
- You got a hunch?
- I might, let's put a
tail on him anyway.
- You know, I'm sure your
dog is around here somewhere.
- That's very sweet of you
Gregory, you have a happy day.
- Remember, no bad days
Gregory, only happy,
happy happy days!
- Oh no, don't don't worry,
I'm not gonna hurt you.
What do you think little boy?
- Are you having a bad day?
- Yeah, you're right.
Not every day is a happy
happy happy day.
Ice cream professor?
- Butter brickle.
- He's gotta keep quiet.
- Suffer little children,
Jesus, so wisely admonished
his disciples on the coasts
of judea, suffer not to come
onto thee, for of such
is the kingdom of heaven.
Always remember that
neither death nor power,
nor hate, nor any
creature shall be able
to separate us from the love
of god which eternally rests
in Christ, Jesus, our lord and savior.
Let us pray.
- I told the police
everything, they'll get him.
- Yeah but I'm still
grounded for a month.
- Hey don't worry, there
might be an opening
in the rocketeers.
- Hey guys, let's go.
- Small Paul's dead.
- No one else
seems to think anything's wrong.
- But how could
they let him go?
- All I know, is I'm
not letting him get us.
All the grown-ups worry
about their stupid problems.
- What we need to do,
is catch him on film.
- Since when do kids
go trailing murderers?
We're just kids we'll get
killed, just like small Paul.
- Look tuna, I know you've
been through a lot more
than we have but we
gotta do something.
- Why why is it up to us,
why can't we just stay
in our backyards and
just keep away from him.
- Because we're the rocketeers
and we stick together.
- We're doing this.
- The three of us.
- We'll need a camera, we
can take a picture of him
and give it to the police.
- Hang on I think I can get one.
- That was a bird?
- I can't do bird calls.
- But you said you could!
- But I don't wanna look stupid.
- I got news for you.
- Shut up!
- Ssshht, I can hear you guys
all the way in the backyard,
let's go!
Okay guys it's 11:45, we've
been out for 35 minutes.
- Let's take a break.
- You know, maybe the
ice cream man thinks he's
the pied Piper.
- Huh?
- Well he drives around in
his truck playing the music,
and all the kids come running.
But then if he catches
one of them alone--
- yeah well uhm, let's
not talk about right now.
- Get down!
Let's go.
- Come on tuna!
- Tuna, come on!
- Where the hell is he going?
- Ssshh!
Small Paul!
- I wanna go back, I wanna go back!
What's he doing to small Paul?
- I don't know,
i can't tell, what is it?
- It's...
It's ice cream.
- I'm fixing up a little
party for you.
Yeah you're gonna
like this one.
Looks like you got a lot of friends.
I didn't know how
much ice cream to bring,
you can pass it out later.
I'm doing really good.
Yeah, they love ice cream.
It's gonna be a good summer.
Hey would you mind your business,
I'm talking to somebody.
You guys having a party?
You having a happy, happy day?
It sure is getting noisy around here.
- Butch brickle, ice cream king.
- Let's go.
- Okay.
- 149.
- I lost track of tuna,
we'd better get back.
- You go.
- What?
- I'll be fine.
Just gimme your bike
so I can have a rocket.
- I don't think so.
- Don't worry, I'm a rocketeer.
Just make sure tuna
didn't fall or something.
Meet me back here,
all right, and hurry.
- Tuna you okay?
- No!
- What's wrong?
- My sides are killing me
and I feel like I wanna puke.
Hey where's Heather?
- I left her back at
the ice cream truck.
- Small Paul?
- Holy shit, the kid's got a gun!
This isn't a game boys, there's
a child stalker out there
and you two are
playing cops and robbers.
- But what about
Heather she's gonna die,
the ice cream man's got her!
- I've already called it
in, there's someone already
on the way to her house.
- Her house, she's not at her house!
- Hey!
You guys wanna end
up on the milk carton?
- I'm sorry to disturb
you reverend Langley,
but we had a report that your
daughter Heather was missing.
- No she's tucked away in
bed, has been all night.
What's the matter Charles?
- I hate to do this sir, but
could you please check on her?
- She's sleeping like a baby.
Come to church on Sunday Charles,
I'm giving a sermon on trust.
- Damn!
- The Langley girl is
fine, sleeping like a baby.
- 10-4.
- Look boys, enough of these stories.
- But--
- first the ice cream man
kills the weatherly boy,
and now the Langley girl?
I mean we've had it up to here.
- When do you want 'em?
- It says one hour.
- You could get hard
duplicates, or you could our
eight hour service for,
10, it depends on how
many exposures come out.
- I need those immediately.
- Four by six oversize, is?
14 bucks, three by five regular?
- How soon?
- One hour.
14 bucks, one day,
- Back in an hour.
The ice cream man is like
the pied Piper, only evil.
- What?
- You know he drives
around in this truck,
temping all the kids,
and they follow him.
And slowly he gets rids
of them, like rats.
- Hah, another!
- Lovely, we only need 10
dollars worth of quarters,
then we can pick up the film.
- I think we got it!
- Oh yeah!
- Johnny!
What the hell are you
doing with my camera?
Where's the film?
I'll start with you?
Where's the film?
- Oh here.
- Let's go, come on
i got it, let's go!
- Hey, get that hunk
ofjunk outta here.
Hey, hey ice cream man!
Come on let's go, I'm in a hurry here.
Go, come on this isn't a parking lot.
Hey, ice cream man!
This is not a hunk ofjunk!
- Well hello.
If I had known this was delivery day,
why that stand in would've
never made it through the door.
- I brought you something special.
- Oh, sounds yummy.
You know, we should swap recipes,
creamsicle for custard pie.
- Well I check out ice cream
man, couldn't find squat.
But that weird lady with the dog.
I remember she was just
as flipped as he was.
- You're
talking about the nurse.
- Yeah nurse wharton.
I called and checked
on her nursing license,
she had a career from 1950 to 1993.
Spent the last 20 at some
private clinic called
wishing well, for the
mentally disturbed.
- I can't believe those
little perverts,
what the hell were they
doing developing my pictures.
- Oh my god!
- I'm gonna kill those bastards.
- You know, this is the whole
secret to making ice cream.
It's this kinda secret
ingredient I put in it.
Here come on let's go put it in.
You gotta just dump a
little bit of this stuff in.
Makes it sweet, see, you gotta
just put a little bit in,
it's the, special amount you put in.
Now, the trick is, is
stirring it in just right.
Would you like to stir?
- Yeah.
- All right, here you go.
Oh now watch your hand, that blade,
that blade will take
your hand right off.
There you go.
Cool!
- Do you really think your
brother's gonna pick up
those pictures without
looking at them?
- I don't know, he's stupid enough.
- Well what happens if
he's not?
Geez what are you, stupid?
- Did you see the truck?
- No.
I gotta get home.
If my mom finds out
i snuck out again--
- we'll ride with you.
- I'll be fine.
- We're riding with you.
- Yeah, things aren't the
same as they used to be
around here, more patients have died,
and some pockets dried up.
Hmm, of course when
you die, you'll dry up.
- Why all the plastic flowers?
- Because real ones die.
We want happy patients.
- So do you do shock therapy lobotomy,
like that cuckoo movie?
- Oh, we believe in
keeping our patients happy.
We believe in compassion.
- Help me!
- Shut up!
- You remember a nurse wharton?
- Do I, oh oh oh!
Hell everybody did!
- What was it that
everybody liked so much
about nurse wharton?
- She gave everybody
ice cream, when the pain
and the loneliness came,
she cared for the patient.
Gregory was her favorite.
- Greqoty?
Gregory tudor?
- Oh god, do something!
- Anthony's getting out of hand.
I must ask you two to leave.
This is not a happy day.
- Oh my god.
- Remember, only happy days.
- A bad day gentlemen, a very bad day!
Ha ha ha, come out come
out wherever you are,
come out come out wherever you are,
come out come out wherever you are.
- Only happy days.
Only happy days.
- Let's get outta here,
I'll report it to
the county sheriffs, this
isn't our jurisdiction.
- Go get-
- all right I'll meet you at the car.
- No one leaves the wishing
well, doctor's orders!
- Ah, they're everywhere!
Cloverdale, this is detective
maldwyn, riverside pd.
Emergency, repeat, emergency!
- Go ahead detective.
- Yeah we're at the
wishing well hospital,
get some people down here quick.
- Do you have an
address on the wishing well?
- Get off of me, get off of me!
Stay, get in!
Come on let's get outta here.
Get away, go!
- Come on tuna!
- Be quiet.
I'm moving as fast as I can.
- That's your fastest?
- Shut up!
- No you shut up!
Oh crap!
- Back to the Johnny's!
Go, hurry up!
- Hurry, hurry!
Don't stop peadling!
He's gonna run us over, go!
- Patrolling for tuna.
You're ice cream.
- Okay pump it.
One more time.
Good, all right shut it off.
- Jacob, Jacob, call the
police, call the police,
the ice cream man just got tuna!
- Calm down, calm down,
we can't call the police.
- Call the--
- you're the guys who cried wolf.
Look, besides we
don't have any evidence,
and obviously either do the police,
or they would have him by now, so,
this is my chance to mess him up.
- Come on, we gotta do something.
- Cut the lone ranger shit,
you're not a police officer.
- Janet, I got the gun,
the badge will follow.
- Oh no.
- Listen.
You guys, you're gonna
get in the car all right,
anything goes wrong, all
you have to do is call in
the radio, you call in
for backup all right.
- Hurry!
- All right.
- Look I think we should
just call the police.
- No look let's just
go help the fat kid
while there's still time,
get in the car,
please I need you to look
after these two.
- There's still no sign
of Charlie or Gus?
- No word.
- Well get some backup over
at the ice cream parlor.
And keep trying to
reach those officers.
- Who is he?
- The king.
- Yes.
- He's like the pied Piper.
Chases away all the bad,
and leaves a world of good.
' Yes!
- Now it's illegal to use
this channel unless you're pd,
so nobody calls in unless
it's an emergency, okay?
Now this is serious.
I want you all to stay in
the car no matter what,
you hear shots or screams
or anything funny,
you press the button, you radio it in,
and then you hit my alarm okay?
It sounds like a police siren.
- Be careful.
- Sounds like we got a
customer, come on!
I'll be right back.
- What's he doing?
- I don't know.
But he'd better get the
hell outta there soon!
Come on Jacob.
- Hiya honey!
Now that's what I call a brain freeze.
Creamsicle?
This is gonna be fun.
- Come on!
Come on!
- Wait!
- How are we gonna get outta here?
- I know, we'll find a way,
we'll find a way outta here.
- Psst, hey
kids, over here, I'm a cop!
What are you doing running
from the ice cream man.
Don't you know that he
slaves day and night
to make his treats for you?
It's like big ice always
said, you can't always find
a sweet kid, but you
can make a kid sweet!
- Come on, please, come on!
- Hey kids don't you
know there's a curfew?
Kids, always getting in trouble.
Kinda makes your head spin.
Yeah, looks like yours spun right off!
Boy, I didn't know you oops had
such a Hardy sense of humor.
That's us, Hardy.
Good humor!
Shut up, you're not funny.
- I can't get over it!
- Don't you know you can't run
from the long arm of the law?
- Oh shit, oh shit!
- Come on!
- Hey frank, you can't
just jump on women,
you gotta take it slow, charm 'em.
I guess two heads
aren't better than one.
- Where do we go?
- There.
- Hey guys!
- Gregory?
What's all this infernal racket?
- Sorry nurse wharton.
Some of the neighborhood
kids wanted to play
hide and seek, I told 'em
it was too late but they...
- Oh my little Gregor always
so kind to the little children.
- We'll try to be more quiet.
- Okay, good luck.
- What are we gonna do.
- Ssshh, just stay quiet.
- He's gonna get us, he's gonna get us
just like everybody else.
- No!
There's somebody in there.
- Let's get help!
- Hurry, open up, open up!
- Open, please, hurry up!
- What is all this noise?
- He's after us.
- The ice cream man!
- Oh my, quick, quick we'll
have to hide you, come on.
Come on inside quickly, hide
and seek, hide and seek.
- We're over at the
spodak house, we have a report
of three missing kids now.
- I don't give a damn.
Warrant or not we're going in.
- You kids don't wanna play
with the ice cream man?
You like his treats, but
you don't stick by him
when he needs you?
Oh who died and made you prince?
What, are you trying to run?
No, you can't run
from the ice cream man.
If you do that, you
won't get any ice cream.
- Hey!
Freeze, I mean it!
- Kiddo, you want some ice cream?
Yeah how about some ice cream huh?
Yeah you like that.
This one's mine.
- You keep that
kid visible at all times.
- Let me see the kid!
- I hate the
term blueberry man.
- Check the back.
- Well, where was I?
- Psst, Gregory.
- Ah, my little twin pops.
- No he'll kill us!
- Gregory wins hide
and seek, Gregory wins!
- Gregory!
- Butch?
Butch brickle?
Ice cream man?
- Now Gregory, you're
going to be with us
a very long time, and I want
you to get something straight,
there are no bad days
here at wishing well,
only happy days, what kind of
a day are you having Gregory?
- Gregory?
- It's a happy day.
Thanks ice cream man.
Happy, happy day-
- who's the pied Piper
now ice cream dick?
- Did you find my dog?
- Small Paul!
- Where's Gregory?
- Hi Johnny.
Hey guys-
- hey.
- Hi.
- Woo.
- Oh thanks.
You ready?
Let's do it.
- All right.
- Wow.
- All right, yeah!
- Welcome to you.
- So where's small Paul?
- Where else?
. Therapy-