If I Had Legs I'd Kick You (2025) Movie Script
Mommy is stretchable.
What do you mean by
stretchable? Daddy's hard. You can't
move him. He gets mad, and that's it.
Mommy gets mad, too, but she's more like
putty. She gets
tattoo. That's when it's the most stretch.
Putty. I wonder how is
it that you stretch her?
Can I. Can I talk now, please?
Is it okay if Mommy talks? Yep.
I'm not stretchable. I'm not
petty. That's her experience
of you. That isn't true. I try
very hard to be in control of her
and everything, but may as
well not even be there at all.
Well, perception is reality, so. Oh. So I
don't get sad. You seem sad right now.
You do seem sad right now.
We're here to talk about how to get
you better. All we do is
talk about me. I can be
sad. I mean, I'm allowed to be
sad, right? Of course. But you
must know that this is all tangled up
together, and you of all peoples should
know. I know, I know. But this.
This isn't how things
are going to get better.
Mommy, please don't
cry. No, no, I don't cry.
She.
We want the tube removed now, and to do
that, we need. No, she. She won't
do what she has to do because she
knows that she has the safety
net. Things are not stable enough
right now. It's clear that we have
different goals. You want her to get better
before the tube can be removed.
I think the tube needs to come out,
and then she can get better.
We all have the same goal here.
But what I'm learning as we're
talking all together is that you and I need
to spend some time, just
the two of us, without her here,
to talk about some serious issues.
I'm gonna need you to restart
the two things at night, and I
need you to start doing. Did you get the
kind with no cheese? I can't explain
this to you every time, sweetie. They would
just laugh at me and say, it's brunch.
Okay, I'll take the cheese off when
we get home. Of course. Is it
the kind with the little green black
things in the sauce? It's
the same kind we always get.
That kind of has the things in
the sauce. I can't. I can't eat it.
Like, can you, like, scrape,
or does it just mean who
wants it out? You have to be Jesus.
Oh.
Oh, you got your wish.
No cheese. Did you will that to happen?
Are you some kind of witch or something?
Okay, straight to the table.
Actually, no. Wash hands first.
And then straight to the table. No
one's making you go to the bathroom.
I'm just asking you to wash your
hands, please, like we always do.
Is Daddy coming? Where's Daddy? He said
maybe bedtime. Where did he go again?
He just got rocked for a
month. Mommy?
Yeah? I did have to go to the bathroom.
Okay, take a while.
It.
Nothing, Mom. I mean, on the floor.
Come quickly.
Are you coming,
Mommy? Oh,
my God. What? Why didn't
you call me as soon as you came
in here? I just noticed
because I had to go to the
bathroom so bad. I don't like how it feels
on my socks. Where's it coming from?
How cheap is it? Are we
gonna die? Is the house
gonna fall on top of us?
Mommy, can you lift me up and
carry me out? No, just.
Just. Just stay there, okay?
Just hold on. Why are you listening?
Just please stay on the toilet. O.
All right. Hey. Yeah, we just got
home. And you would not believe
Ra.
It.
Nothing is familiar. Real. Ever.
Every time I feel this way, I get
further and further away from being in
myself. Like I can never get back.
When you think about
time, how do you see it?
How do I see time?
Time is a series of things to get through.
Each goal is a clip. There's
nothing at the end of it.
But then it comes, and
there's just another clip.
Yo, you know about holotropic breathing,
yo, this is lit. Basically,
you trick your brain into
thinking it's dead when you see the
universe, you know what I'm saying?
So you don't feel paranoia,
guilt, something's wrong.
I mean, I've got a friend who
does, like, breaking and like that. N.
See what I'm saying? This is like
hyperventilating. When you die, they say you let
off this chemical. And when you're
dreaming, you let up the same chemical.
It's sort of like that, you know?
You make your brain think it's dead,
but being brain dead is still alive.
Holographic. Holotropic. Tropic.
Holotropic.
Is that real? What? The.
The dead brain thing. Oh, yeah. I mean,
I guess anything could
be real. Anything could be
too. You know what I'm saying?
But you know that feeling, like,
when you're not.
Yeah.
Are you making fun of me,
Miss? I don't even know you.
Okay, yes on these, but no on the wine.
Why the
law prohibits me from
selling you this wine right now.
But it isn't even two. It's 158.
Right. But by the time I ring
these up, it will Be best two.
It.
I'll just get the peanut
butter cups to put them in it.
I can't talk about this
anymore. I'm telling you. Please.
Hey. Hey. Look, if that's what
Dr. Spring thinks is best, then we
have to. Listen, there is no we,
though. It's just me. I. I'm. It's not
fair telling you. Fair.
Listen, I'm working,
all right? I'm dealing with
a lot of. You have no idea.
And I cannot do anything
about what's going on there from
here. You need to be a team. You
have to go there today and check
in. In and let them know that this
whole. I know, I know. You know,
the problem with that logic, though,
is that I'm not a housewife. I work,
too. Mommy. This hotel is
gross. Disgusting. Wow.
You guys look just like twins.
Anybody ever tell you that? No.
You're the first person to notice
and. Or say that. Everyone says
that. Hey, cutie. Want
to see a treat? Yeah.
Whoa. How did you do that?
Mommy, you should take it.
She's never gonna eat it.
Am I gonna throw up now?
Yeah. You hung up on me.
Look, I know you have a lot on your
plate, but she's getting
better, and the rest of it is totally
temporary. The ceiling will
get fixed. I promise. The sky is
not falling out of this pure fault.
I love you. I'm sorry. I love you,
too. What's so bad about a hotel anyway?
While you're there, take advantage of the
pool. I got a pool, right?
Always said you wish you had a
pool, so now you have one. Why
don't you go you do some laps,
you know, lounge a little, get a
floaty, kick back, get a couple of my.
Did you know that you can
train hamsters to love you?
No. You can train them to love you.
Well, I would love if you would
finish your bacon. That way I
can tell Everybody you got 100%
on breakfast. And once they love
you, you can get them to
do everything, including tricks.
Let's start with one bite.
Ring, ring.
Is parking guy gonna get mad again?
Double park, Double park. Double park.
Okay. Gotta be fast. You
know, what happened last
time. Face,
you've missed the last few
weeks of family sessions.
Yeah, I told you what happened.
Our entire ceiling fell down.
And with all that chaos, and we're
living out of the hotel tell. So we
need to schedule something as soon as
possible to talk about her goals
and. And the treatment process.
Yeah, okay. Yeah, Duh.
Yeah.
Oh, you meant now. Okay. All right,
well, let me look at my schedule. I should
probably do that. I know that
you already know this, but you can't
start letting feelings of guilt
and control about this illness and
treatment affect you. It's no one's fault.
That's right. That's what I keep
hearing. Also, I really need you
to start taking care of
yourself. Yes. No. Put my
oxygen mask on first. I'm just
gonna have to get blunt here.
So she needs to reach
her weight goal in the next
week. If she does that,
then we can put tube
removal and discharge dates on
the books. But if she doesn't do that,
I'm going to have to reassess
the level of care because obviously
something is not working here.
And this is what I need to talk to you
about. When can we sit
down properly? Yeah, fine.
September 7th. It's September 15th.
September 20th. I mean September.
September 20th.
Hey. I told you not to do that.
And the next time I will report
you to the building. I know, I'm
sorry to report you won't be allowed in
the lot. I'll have you. I'm
not in there long enough.
Whatever.
The apartment is a 30 minute
walk, but might as well be on Mars.
And I just think every time I
go check it looks worse and I.
I have no control. Have you tried
discussing a compromise with your landlord?
Perhaps they could section
off the room with the hole.
Then you could live freely
in the rest of the apartment.
Live freely with asbestos and 100-year-old
dust and black hole
sores? That's your advice?
It's not advice. It's a
question to consider.
I should really show you this hole.
It's an entire nightmare on
my ceiling. When does Charles return?
This week, three of eight. I mean,
you should know that your
right wings. Don't. It's your job to
remember the boring details
of my life. We do have to stop
now. We are out of time. I have another
patient coming. So. Wait, now what
about the 10 minute warning? Yeah, I just
wasn't paying attention. You didn't respond
to the email that I sent you about
my dream. I don't respond to my
client's dream emails.
Okay, so if you don't
bring it up, then what is the point?
Okay, you got me. I had a dream and I
need to talk about it today. And I
didn't get any time because you didn't
give me a warning. We can discuss the
dream. You emailed the next session.
Wow. It's actually a different dream.
Well, I don't really.
Okay, quickly. Okay. I was in a hospital
day room or recreation
room or something. And I
knew my daughter was also in
the hospital, but. But far away,
another part. And it
didn't look like the hospital
she was in last year, though, when everything
happened, it was different. It was weird.
And I was waiting for Charles to
come get me so we could pick her
up, but instead you were
there and you wanted to sit
really close to me, and I was, like,
inching away from you on the bench,
and you kept inching closer. And I got my
phone out to text Charles because I
was nervous. He'd come in and he'd see,
and then you tried to grab
the phone, and then you
started to tickle me to
try to get me to drop it.
And I was like, I was really enjoying it,
but I was so scared that Charles
would come in and he would see.
All right.
Okay. All right. You have to tell me.
Talk about it next time.
We won't talk about it next time.
You know that. There's no thread.
There's no thread at all.
Yes. What now? Hi. Yes, I'm so sorry.
Have to leave. Stop work. What?
Mother died. I have to leave work.
Okay. Just.
Okay. What is the issue then? Can
you tell me? This has been going on
for so long. Do I need to get
a new contractor? I, I, I spread.
How long will you be
grieving for your mother?
I need a date, okay? It needs
to be fixed. Just give me a date.
My husband and I will be returning to.
Okay, well, fine. I'm going to be going
there and checking on what you've done
so far, and I'm going to
be taking pictures. And I
can see you now. Perfect.
I'm really happy to hold this
silent space for you, but as
usual, I am curious as to what
you might be thinking about Riley.
It's all I can think about.
Tell me what's going on. I,
I keep telling you. It's. It's like I
keep saying to his doctor.
He. He doesn't smile. He.
He looks at me weirdly, and he's just very
uncomfortable all of the time,
and no one will do anything
about it.
You know what I would love and
what I think would be extremely helpful is
if you could come to a session
without Riley. I think it would be.
I know you think you can't,
but I think if you got a sitter
who you trusted in New York,
the mom came home from work and
the nanny had stabbed both of her kids
to death in the bathtub. That is real.
That happened. A situation like
that is very, very, very
unusual. Okay. Most people
have caregivers who can trust that.
Well, I. I believe you can. I
just think you don't want to or
you're afraid, so let's stick
to serious. Protect him from
something specific, because something very
bad is happening.
I'm so. Can I just. One second. I
just have to. This could be about.
About my daughter.
I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm so sorry.
Yeah. Look. Look, I.
I'm not Riley's doctor,
so I can't speak to what may
or may not be going on with him.
We can only talk about
your feelings, about what
you perceive as going on with Riley.
Which is why I do believe medication I'm
not perceiving is happening, and I
feel awful about it.
Okay, listen. When
you're having these feelings
of deep panic at home
with Riley, just put him
in his crib or carrier
or somewhere safe and
draw a bath. Breathe until your heart
isn't racing anymore.
Come out, get dressed,
start the day over again. Put on
some real clothes.
These feelings that you're
experiencing, they are.
They're very, very, very scary.
Okay? Very dark. And
that's why you need to keep
moving. You need to keep going. You need
to be busy. You can't sit inside the fear,
doubt and scariness.
Breath work is a deep healing
in the nervous system where we
hold trauma and trapped
emotion. We can't talk
our way out of trauma.
The body needs to be open,
unprocessed emotions in the body. And this
is why breath work is so
powerful. If you're looking for deeper
ways of treating and you're
searching for alternatives, don't wait
any longer. Let's connect and schedule
your first breath work session directly.
Before the judge read Ortega her sentence, she
begged for forgiveness for her unspeakable crime.
She stated she was sorry for
what the judge had called pure evil.
She then spoke about how untreated
mental illness was to blame. But the judge
is not convinced. She will be serving life
in prison with no possibility of parole,
you would not believe what
I have been through today.
Okay, so I don't know
if you recall, but there
was this pair of absolutely
Devoniana Devon Gorge leather gloves
that I saw on the Real.
Real. I wake up this morning.
Banned. Banned. Yeah,
I know. Hey, my love. So
you've been keeping up and
eating and doing all the right
things. Yeah, I ate some cheese today.
Daddy, can I get a hamster? I
already told you, you're not getting a
hamster. No, no, no,
no, no. She's not getting
a hamster. She's not getting a
hamster. Where are you what? I hear
something weird. Oh, yeah,
dad, I'm catching a game.
A game? Yeah. Yeah. We got here
this morning and there's a minor league
team here on the island where
we go. It's a little loud, so it must
be nice, huh? Doing things for yourself.
What's that like? Hey, hey, hey. You want
to switch places? You don't know what
I'm dealing with here, all right, I'll go
sit on my ass all day
in therapy. I'm sorry.
I mean, sit on my butt
listening to people whine and
you can captain this stupid boat. Okay,
listen, I'm allowed to do things
on my time off. Jesus Christ.
Time off? Oh. Okay. Daddy has to go now and
we have to drive.
I told you, it's a rodent.
Just something to look after
for no reason. Please, please
don't ask again. And don't ask Daddy
things. I already say no
to Mommy. It's not fair. It.
Dr. Spring said this is a
big week. Did she tell you
that? Yeah. I think you can do it. But I'm
already doing it my best. I
know, but you have to do a little
better and we can get rid of this
thing and everything will be okay.
I'll be better,
okay? Well,
it's not up to me. It's up to you.
What book can I read
you tonight? I'm too tired.
Just a song, okay? What song?
The dead whale 1.
Sit beside the breakfast
table. Think about your
troubles. Pour yourself cup tea.
Think about the bubbles. You can take
your teardrops and drop them in a teacup.
Take him down to the river side and
from our to be swept up by a
current and taken to
the ocean. Be swallowed
by fishes who are eating massive fishes
and swallow.
I don't mean to say we're all
robots, but I wonder if you had been
raised the way your mother had been
raised. I mean, she had a father who
just took off and come home. Then another
man entered her mother's life and she
became a text to him and he bailed
out. Who know what you're saying?
I did have that for very soon.
My question is, if you had been
raised as your mother had been raised,
do you think you would have. Okay. See how
many you can catch. Okay. Okay. Okay. Open,
please.
Put this on my room, please.
It's definitely before two.
I'm going to need to see your id. Ma'. Am.
You've never asked me
that before. Ma', am, I'm going
to need to see your id.
You really want me to go all
the way back up to my room,
get my ID and come all the way
back down here is the rule. Aren't
you only on the second floor anyway?
When is this the rule? I
have been in here every single
cr. Maybe you should find my ID
when I checked. Ladies,
I'm not going back. Ladies,
ladies. Calm it down,
bro. Not everything deep.
She barking at me. Just
use my id, bro. I can't do that.
Why not? I can't use your
ID for her wine. It's my wine.
She's just paying for it.
She took it.
Hey,
what name
is Jamie, by the way? Got a light?
Not interested. In what? I need to
be alone. Who is Hell.
Thank you would have been nice. Miss it
at the hotel? Outside? Just
getting some fresh air. I don't like
it when you leave her there by
yourself. And even for a second it isn't
safe. I'm just outside for a minute
getting some air. The windows don't
open in there. Stop everyone
from killing themselves,
obviously. What if she
wakes up and she never
wakes up and anyway, I have someone
at the hotel now. Babysitter. Really?
Where'd you go? Where'd you
find a babysitter? His name's James.
His name is James. He's a male babysitter.
Did you call just to call me a
bad mother or what? I mean,
you have no idea what it's like
not to be able to go outside even
for a minute by yourself. You can go
outside whenever you want to. You can
go wherever you want to. The
machine doesn't stop and there's
nothing to do if. Oh my God.
Who is the one who went to a
baseball game today? And who is the
one who filled her bag with bloop 500
times, saw patients, picked her up,
had to do dinner where she only got 20%
and then have to try
to convince. Look, I got
to go. The reception's really
bad here. Everything's fine. Wait,
wait, wait, wait. Did you go to the apart?
Here are pics of whole forgot
to send today I went during
It what
is movie Babies
Zombies 80s mothers eating babies.
Here's what I found. A
court has reopened. A nine
month old baby really was taken
and killed by a dingo. 24 years
after Meryl Streep portrayed the
Australian mother wrongly jailed
for killing her child. Chamberlain
has always insisted she.
Sam,
your job is super
fun and like a really, really
big kid type of thing to do. I can't
hear you. I said, you know, it'd
be super fun and a big kid type
of thing to do. What? I drop
you in front of the door and you
just go out by yourself. Oh, my
God. That would be so cool of you.
No. Why not? All the moms walked in.
Your mom. We have to
walk in. Move to sign me in.
Eva, Eva, can you walk her in today?
Mom, please, please, please.
I cannot deal with the parking.
Of course. No problem. No problem.
Thank you. Okay. Exciting news.
Guess what. Guess what.
Ava will walk you in. Go, go, go.
Mommy, Allie scares me.
She only needs Nutella.
I need you to be with you for Mama,
okay? Please, Please. You
are my mom. Look at hamsters,
baby. Doing. Look at them. Okay,
you want press? Score. Go, go. Okay.
See? I love you. I love you. Okay, I'm.
And then you told me that if
you touch a baby bird, the mama
bird will not come back.
If they don't touch them.
That must have been some dream.
You kissed me.
You said you kissed me. Yes,
I heard you. In your dream. I
kissed you. Yeah. And then?
And then the next day, I felt crushing
guilt. And I knew somehow that
your husband had called me an.
You know, Stephen, we can talk
about these feelings apart from your
but I
can't help it if in my dreams
you always want to kiss me.
What's the difference between
going outside on hotel property
when she's sleeping and
going all the way home?
In one, I guess I'm just a
regular mom making a shitty
choice. And in the
other, I'm a. I'm a straight
up shitty mom. Well, it's
not my role to decide whether
you should or whether you should
not. No, no, no, no, no. I shouldn't.
I know I shouldn't. I shouldn't
even leave her for a second.
It is your job to say.
Just tell me not to do.
Do it. Tell me what to
do. I don't think you want
me to tell you what to do. You know what to
do. No one will tell me what to
do. I'm supposed to know how to
fix this. I'm supposed to know
how to fix her. What is it you think
it's your job to fix? She
has to weigh 50 pounds
by next week. Dr. Spring said
that's a gain of 2.5 pounds. Right?
Each day is supposed to be 2500 calories
in compensating for her resting rate.
At 1800 calories burned, that's got
to be at least 80% of each meal for
seven days, plus the tube. And
that's if she just lays still all day.
And if it doesn't, then something
about not getting the tube out
and reassessing the level of care.
I mean, what do I. I would like you
to get a good night's sleep.
So would I. But I'm asking
you a thing, an actual thing, a
problem to fix that. I need help with
this. Am I supposed to just sit
around and watch her fail and this is
just gonna go on forever? What do I
do? Okay, that means there's no drinking.
There's no drugs. There's
no. Are you listening to me?
Can you hear me?
I'm asking you what I'm supposed to do.
Why don't you like me?
Why don't I like you? I don't even
want to answer, but just forget it.
That is incredibly unfair.
Why is this so important to you right now?
I just want something
to tell me what to do.
I love it. I'm going to kiss
him. I'm going to hug him.
Oh, my God. Maybe I should
get s'. More. That's really
nice. I said don't open
the box. I just want
to see him. He's subscribing.
He doesn't like being in the box.
He's trying to get out. Can
you hold it close, please?
And keep it closed. He's
scratching me. He's supposed to
love me. Close the box.
I can't. He's getting out.
Hand it to me. Hand it to me.
He's gonna jump out. Give it to
me. I can't. I can't see. Give it to the
wrong hamster. Ow.
We're going to die. No, we're
not going to die. But I have to pull
over. Ow. Maybe this is. Oh, my God. Out.
It's out. Oh, my. Ow. Oh, my God.
It's out. Why aren't you putting
that thing in? Just put it back in.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. My bed. Please.
No one want him anymore.
Okay, okay. You're fine.
You're fine and I'm fine.
Okay, Nobody is hurt. Let's take
it with you. Take it with you.
Right. Army. I made my hand.
What are you doing? Hey, hey, hey.
Oh. You're lucky there's no damage.
We don't have to exchange change
information. My kid is in that car. Do you
hear her crying? Huh? You
scared her to death, you dick. Hey,
mom, it was barely just a
tap. Don't call me mommy.
She thought we were gonna die. Don't
with me about my child's safety, huh?
Give me all your information.
What the is that. What? That.
That answer.
I love you. I miss you. Come back here.
Everything is under control.
You know that. I Love you. I'm.
I. I think you're the best. And so
proud of you for everything. And you can do
it. And you're almost all better.
I can't stop. I just love you too much.
You smell like wine.
Hello? Hi, it's. It's Caroline.
Caroline Prim, your
patient. I'm sorry it's so late.
Oh, is this an emergency?
We just. If this is an emergency, you need
to hang up and It's. It's not
an emergency. I just. I forgot
to call you yesterday. What?
Well, you told me to take Riley
for a walk after I took a bath
and calm down and. And I
did it and I forgot to call you.
Okay. Yes. Well,
that's good. And I.
I do feel though, that I. I should
tell you that this number is.
Is really for emergencies only. Okay.
Oh, I'm sorry. I just. I
just couldn't sleep thinking
that you were worried. I wasn't worried.
You weren't. You weren't
thinking about me? I said that
you could call me if that you.
I said you could call me if you
couldn't calm down. Not
that you had to call me, but.
But are. Are you safe? Caroline, are you.
I'm sorry. I. I misunderstood. I'm.
Yeah. I'm so dumb. Yes, I'm safe.
Okay, well, let's. Let's
talk about this in session.
Okay? I'm sorry.
I'm. I'm obviously bothering
you. It is not your fault.
And I will. I'll. I'll see
you next week. Well, can I
come in tomorrow? I. It's just
waiting until next week seems too long.
Well, let me. Let me check my
schedule and I will text you in time,
okay? Okay. I'm sorry.
God. Kidding me?
Hello? Hello?
Hello? Hello? Is anyone here doing
their job?
Want some note with that trick?
Got a knife?
Open up. It's mommy. Little bear.
Open up.
Double.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. The. Your problem?
What? Who? What? You obsessed with me
or something? What are you talking about?
Don't flatter yourself. What? Why are you
looking at me? What? What do you want?
I want you just sitting outside and by
yourself. Some creep might walk past.
What a creep? How the do I know?
Lady, it's creeps all over this place,
lady. My bad, Miss Just
dumb. Ma'. Am. Proud. Yeah.
Swag. Oh my God. Your thoughtiness,
housewife. At this point, I don't even know
what to refer to you as.
I'm just call you female. Yo,
crazy pants. I was gonna
partake in surfing the
web for some things that I'm
into. If you Catch my drift? And just
putting it out there. You're more
than welcome to join. No pressure.
Just saying,
what kind of stuff isn't
like the dark web? Like
where you can buy people
and stuff? No, never
bought a person, so. But you
could. Or sell one, I mean,
I guess so, but I don't come
on the dark web. Searching
for that kind of. So places
on there where people, like, show each other
videos of murderers and people that are
holding captive. We change the
subject. Let's buy drugs. Let's get some.
Some, Right. Come on. What
do you want? What are you into?
Wow. Did they have, like,
cocaine, something? When was the last
time you tried cocaine? What
do you mean? It's a very popular
drug. I like it. All
right, well, I'm getting
Molly, so we'll get both. Secret thing is,
I don't get paid till next week,
so I need you to cover me.
Oh. Oh, I know. No, no,
I see what this is about.
Where are you going? I'm going back to
normal. Him? For what? You don't even
have a key. Besides, your daughter's passed
out. Front desk lady's definitely in a
coma by now. Calm down.
Come sit down. Let's order. Jesus.
Put it on my credit card, I
guess. What? No, the 400.
I can put it on my credit card.
No, no, see, man, it can't be
traced back to you. It has to be
anonymous. Oh, then how do you pay
for the stuff? All right, what
we could do is we could go
to the pharmacy, something real
quick and put it on like one of those gift
cards. Or maybe you got
Bitcoin or Crypto or some like that.
No, I don't have any of that
stuff. And I. I can't get in a
car and leave my daughter alone in the
middle of the night. Leave your daughter
alone all the time. No, I don't.
That's just if I go in the field.
I literally seen you leave your daughter
alone myself with my own two eyes.
What's. You stalking me or
something? Concerned citizen.
I mean, takes the village, right?
What?
Sweetie, Sweetie, it's Mommy.
You blocked me out. Sweetie,
sweetie. Open the door.
Little bear, open the door. Just wheel
machine over and open the door.
Little bear,
open that door. I locked myself
out. It's Mom. It's Mommy.
I'm not sure how we could talk about
anything helpful if you won't even look
me in the eye. You asked
me for this extra session.
Yeah, I can't. He must be so mad
at me. Mad? Oh, because you
called me? No, no, no. I'M not mad at
you. Let's move on, please.
You have a daughter.
Why didn't you ever tell
me? Well, this isn't about me,
but now I know that you know.
I. I don't know. You need to tell me.
It's not your fault. But it is
mine. Okay. You know,
Caroline, I think that it may be time
that we. That we consult with
someone about some.
Some medication for you.
Um, I can't take her
medication. And breastfeeding?
Do you want me to kill
my baby? Of course not.
I just think if a doctor
thinks it could be beneficial,
then maybe we need to prioritize your.
Your health over breastfeeding
just right now. No, you need to take
care of yourself so you
can take care of Riley.
I have to go to the bathroom.
Well, we only have 15 minutes left.
I have to go now. Okay, well,
would you. Can you wait till
after the session? No.
Sam.
Caroline. Excuse me.
Caroline. Excuse me.
Caroline, I need you to help me
Caroline.
Okay. Okay, Caroline.
Caroline is
going to session my patient.
She has this baby, and she said she
was going to the bathroom, and then
she. She left the baby with me,
and I, I. She's gone. I'm with a
patient. Please. I need your help. I
really need your help. I'm with a patient.
Also, I'm not your supervisor.
This was a professional issue.
This is not a treatment issue. Joking. This
is an emergency. Whatever's happening in
here is not as important as what
is. I'm going to care. I need your
help. I need your help. This is an
emergency. You can come back later.
Absolutely not.
Hello? Hello? Hello? Yes, hello. I am your
wife's psychotherapist, and she left today
in the middle of her appointment, and I.
Yes, this is your wife's therapist.
I. She left in the middle of her
appointment today, and. You got to
stop. You got to stop. I have no idea
what you're even talking about.
Who is this? Is. Is your wife named
Caroline Prim, and you are.
Your baby's name is Riley
and you're pregnant. Right? Okay. Right.
My wife doesn't have a. Okay, well,
she has been my patient at the center
for Psychological Arts in Montauk since
she was about six months pregnant with
Riley, and today. Well, this is news to
me. Well, weather you knew
that she was my patient or not.
What I'm trying to say to you is
that this is an emergency, and I
really. She left your baby here with me,
and I need you to come and
pick him up. What do you mean?
What do you mean, what do you
mean what? I mean she's not answering
her phone. She's probably in
the bathroom by a fucking vending
machine. Okay, I, I, I suggest that
you call her. Maybe she would pick up
if it was you. I'm gonna text you
my address to come and get the
baby. Jesus Christ. I'm sure
she's okay. I'm sure she's okay.
I'm sure she's okay. Typical of
her. Okay, she probably
just needed some space.
I'm gonna text you my
address. Where? So you
can come and get her. Listen
to me. Listen to me. I'm at work.
I am at work right now. That's
why she's supposed to be taking
care of the baby. Baby so I can work. Okay,
here's what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna text you my address.
You can drop the baby off
anywhere. Well, I can't do
that. And I am very concerned
about your wife. This is
an emergency and she's gonna talk
twice now. This isn't my emergency.
I'm not the one who lost my
life. I need you to come down here
and get your baby immediately. And
if you're not here within a half an hour,
I'm going to call the police. I was text
your address. Thank you very much.
Yes?
May I come in?
Patience.
Would you mind waiting in my
office down the hall just a few
moments? Your office? Who are
you, the boss? Just
another therapist. I have
an office. It's down the hall.
Door is open, you'll see it.
This is my time. She's mine right
now. You can't make me wait. Okay,
this is an emergency situation.
You can either wait in my office or
you need to leave the building entirely.
Baby? Is that your baby? You have a baby?
Means you guys have a baby
together. Okay, this situation does not
concern you. Okay? Make a choice.
Okay. I'll be in your office,
but I won't wait that long.
Wow. I mean, can you believe that I got
talked into getting this
hamster after all of that.
My God, she's right.
I really am so stretchable.
It's disgusting. You know,
when I was in medical school,
I had to do a stint in a medical
experiments lab. And we were tested
the efficacy of a drug on rats.
I. So what worked is
we take the rats and we drop them in this
guillotine thingy, chop
their heads off individually
peel the skin back and
then look at their brains
under a microscope. I just so
curious about the process
with that. You know,
the rats would claw and bite
you when you put your
hand in the cage to pick them
up. So they gave us these steel
chainmail gloves.
German. They're beautiful.
So you put on the glove and
you put your hand in the
cage. The rats would just
attach themselves to
the glove, clean for dear
life, you know? And then when you
got to the kine box, you
had to shake them off,
really shake them. I was
always worried that the rat
would get hurt when it's hit its
head on the guillotine, you know,
but their brains were
always fine when we looked
out on the microscope. Hope.
Rodents are resilient creatures.
Yeah,
I'll tell Steve in your
sessions. Cancelled.
Take care of this.
I love you.
Just tell me, was she
suicidal? Homicidal? No,
no, no. She was obsessed
with protecting the baby.
And. Yeah, she wouldn't
hurt the baby and she
didn't talk about suicide. She wouldn't
abandon Riley. She just did abandon him.
Right. Well, you know, I mean,
permanently. Forever.
Is that it? I have another patient
waiting who only needs my hallway.
It's fine. More comedy. Think woman
tries to run away from all the responsibilities.
Everybody gets all upset and they come
back with their tail and their legs. Okay.
When you have finished recording,
you may hang up or press 1
for more options. Hi. Hi, It's. It's me
again. Your tenant from 22 Algonquin,
Unit 1. You know, the one with the giant
hole in the ceiling killing.
Your repairs guy ran off.
And it's getting worse. And I want to
know why you're doing nothing and why
you're happy for my daughter
and I to be staying at a far pass full
of freaks while I continue to
pay you rent. And I have a very,
very, very important patient that
is a prominent lawyer. And I am not
afraid.
I was after a song. Visa, gift cards.
What denominations do you have? Do you
have a minute to talk before the
children come out? Sure. Okay, go.
So I've noticed that you still haven't
made the appointment for family
therapy like we discussed the other morning.
It's not. It's just been so crazy at
work. Right. So I can't stress to
you enough how important this is.
I'm. I'm on your side here. Yes,
yes, yes, I understand. We need
her off the machine. Yes,
so do I. Okay, I'm going
to be frank. We need her off
of it as soon as possible for her
to remain here. And to do
that, she needs to gain faster.
Okay, well, but. But we have until
next week, right? The 50 pound goal.
No, the way things are
going, is we going to make
that goal? What are you saying we
do weigh ins every morning. She's not
gonna make the goal. Because the goal you
set was impossible. We were
set up to fail. It's unrealistic.
We're gonna have to
reassess the level of care.
What does that mean? Well,
we can discuss it in our meeting.
You know what I would love
and think would be so good
is if we could get a date on
the calendar of the surgery.
A concrete goal that we
can all work towards. It's not.
It's not a surgery. A tube
removal. Well, a procedure.
Whatever you call it, it's not
a procedure either. When it's
time to remove it, the
doctor just pulls it out.
Pull it out? Yeah. It just slides out.
They could just really just
pull it out? Yeah, it's that
simple. But what happens to the
hole? It closes up on its own. Oh.
It's kind of like when you
get a cut on your tongue.
It wants to close up.
Oh, hi. Is James here?
Who are you?
I'm his neighbor. I'm there in that room.
There he is. Not you. Oh. Do you
know when he'll be back? I just
have something to give him. Give it
to me. I'll see you. He gets
it. No, no, I. I have to give
it to him myself. It's. It's a value.
A value? Yeah, a value.
Relax your body.
Settle in with yourself.
Right now you're only supposed to breathe.
We're in the work phase of this. The more
you relax your body right
now, the easier it gets for
you. Recognize the
accessing the body's wisdom. So let your
mind go. If you can find
your attention within the
movement of your breath.
Start noticing any
sensation in your body and
see what catches your
interest or your curiosity.
And hold the space in the way
you want to be out. You probably
notice anything. The
intensity builds up in your body.
That's all rough and
trying to control anything.
See if you can tense
recognize you can hold space.
You can love yourself right
Don't avoid any single
thing. Don't abandon yourself.
Stay connected to yourself.
See if you can honor yourself
in this moment of reconnecting to yourself.
Use your voice and imagine your emotion.
Are allowed to be. Maybe
you can even do it tonight way.
Okay, we got to be quick cuz.
Cuz I have to get back. But I
just. I just had a show
somewhere. What's going on in
here? Okay, so. Room filled
with plastic tarp everywhere. Nice.
So is this your kid room? Oh, told you
the fucking ceiling fell
down. What the fuck
is that? That's It. That's the hole.
That's why I'm at the hotel. That's why
you staying at the fucking hotel.
Oh, my God. Come on. You could have
slept on your couch for a
couple of weeks. What? Look at
it. It's been two months and
they refuse to fix it. There's dust
and mold everywhere.
Yo, what is up there?
They've been renovating forever.
They said a pipe
burst. Oh, it's right there.
There you go. I did the
that. You know, the thing,
the breath thing. What?
And I think it took me
here. I think maybe that's
why I wanted to come to see it.
You need goddess with that. You can't
just be doing it. What are you doing way,
man? They lied to you, sis.
Look, come see. It's a
clean break. I'm telling
you. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. What the,
man? My cousin Craig is a
general contractor. You know
somebody that know somebody
that fix this. Jeffy D. Look like
you got some debris on the
furniture. You know how to reupholster.
It's going to cost you.
Oh,
James.
Oh, my.
Everybody settle. Right.
Thank you. All right,
so the topic today is something that's so
fundamental that it's actually
a little silly to talk about.
But it is so important to
your child's recovery and
more than that, to your ability
to help your child recover.
Can anybody guess
what it is?
Blame. And anybody?
Shame. Thank you.
So, as parents, a lot of
times we look too closely
at ourselves, right? And we start to
ask ourselves, is this my fault?
Could I have done anything differently?
What if this, what if that? But all it does
is create a thinking trap,
and that does not help your child.
So what I'd like to do if we. Look,
Melanie, do you want to put
some words to your feelings?
Yeah. I.
Sometimes I just think it is all my fault.
Do you have something to say to Melanie?
No, no. Whoa. No, never
mind. Don't mind me.
No, no, no. I want to
hear what you have to say.
You keep telling us that
it isn't our fault. Yeah,
but. But it is.
Excuse me? I mean, if it isn't
our fault, then we're really super.
We're just walking around pretending we have
power to change something that we don't even
understand because it's not our fault.
But we know how to change it, even though
it's not our fault. So this is actually
good. This is actually good because now
we have a lot. No, no, no,
no. I know. I. I think I have.
No, no, no. It's our fault, isn't
fair. But it is our fault. I mean,
that's the. That's how I see it. That's
it. That's what this whole thing is.
Is our fault. And sit down.
No, no, no. I don't want to
talk about it. I already know it.
And I don't have to meet you because
I know what you're going to say.
She's failed and that I failed because you
set us up to fail. No one tries
hard if they got a safety net.
Nobody. Okay? And you should
know that Dr. Spring you the
rest of my life. Bring down
that tube every night until I die.
Do not leave that door. And
none of this is helping any of us.
None of it. Come back.
Hey. Hey. Why are you calling?
Isn't it bear group going on
right now? I couldn't sit there.
I'm in the car. I'll pick her up later.
But I can't. I can't stay there.
What do you mean you couldn't sit.
I can't do it. I can't do it.
She's got to get better. But she's
not going to make the goal. And
I, I. I don't know what's going to
happen now. You need to get
back in there. Hole is getting bigger.
No, no. The apartment
hole. The goddamn hole.
Why can't you just keep
tabs on those guys? The guy's
gone for a week. There's no one
working on it. What? A week? When were
you gonna mention it? I'm telling you now.
It's very complicated to explain over the
phone. Just send me pictures.
No more pictures. I'm not going back.
I'm never going back there. I talked to
him. He. He's not doing
anything. And by the
way, I think he has a deal
with the motel because.
Stop, stop, stop, stop. Okay,
let me just get this straight.
You aren't going into the program anymore,
and you aren't going into our apartment
anymore? That's right. Hey.
How do you expect anything
to get back to normal? Then it won't.
What are you talking about? It won't?
All right. Are you. Are you in
your right mind now? Are you
done? Also, there's a woman missing. What?
Who? What? You tell
me. She's missing. She left
and she's not picking
up her phone. Let's take a
deep breath. Start. No, no, no,
no, no. I can't talk to you about
this. Why aren't you going back
into a group? I would just talk to my
therapist later. That, that this
is fine. Everything. Everything's.
Everything's Fine. That guy. I just
looked in the bank accounts. How often?
Every day. Every day? Every day.
Come on. No sitting idle in
vehicles. Please move the car
or yourself. I have a right to sit
in my car without you harassing
me. What? Yeah. Are you
talking to. There's this creepy
who's harassing me. Me. Every day
he harasses me. He's obsessed with me.
He's back at my window wanting something.
To leave the parking lot or
get out of your car. Oh, my God.
Are you serious? Yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah. Call the
police. Call the police. Yeah, I'm
gonna call the police on you. See you here
again. Oh, my God. You're
harassed. This is harassment.
Anything in particular
keeping you silent right now?
Fact that I want to be
silent is keeping me, I think.
This isn't about you.
What I mean is, I. I
mean, I pay for your time,
right? So I can do anything I
want with that time. And right now I
just want to lay here without you talking.
Well, you did not have
to come here for that.
Go lie on your own couch.
Do you wish I lied on my own
couch instead of coming here?
All I'm saying is you
chose not to be alone.
I'm alone. No, you're not
alone. I'm here, but. No,
you aren't. Not really what we
can do, am I? Just not seriously.
Okay, you know what? Did I ever tell you
that I was pregnant before?
Like, I've been pregnant twice.
I never tell anyone this.
It was when Charles and
I were first dating, and I
got an abortion right away. Like,
I took a pregnancy test and then
just went to a random clinic the next day.
I got the surgical kind
with the vacuum thing.
And it hurt really badly.
Like, the nurse
held my hand,
and for some reason, I didn't
realize how badly it would hurt,
but I really did.
Yeah, that was almost
20 years ago. I'd have
a kid in college by
now if I hadn't done that.
Maybe I got rid of the wrong one.
Why won't you say anything?
I can't breathe.
You don't get it. You don't see.
You love to tell me. I don't get it.
What is it you think I
don't get? What is it you're
so sure I can't help you with?
I'm one of those people that's
not supposed to be a mom.
I'm not a mom. I'm not. This isn't supposed
to be what it's like. This
isn't it. This can't be it.
You say something not
Everyone can do it. I can't.
Do you have any kids?
Do you have a kid?
Hello?
Why won't you talk to me?
Why won't you help me?
I know what you're doing, and I can't
have it. What am I doing?
This isn't working. What do
you mean? We can't see each other
anymore.
I got here early. You'll have
to wait outside.
Look, I don't know why you aren't
answering your cell, but Dr. Spring called
and. It's Dr. Spring. You cannot bring your
daughter here for further
treatment until we have.
You are too much. You
know you are. I'm gonna.
Hey, thanks for checking in. In case
you forgot, my wife still happens to.
To be missing. You know, I
don't know what kind of number.
What the.
You. You mentioned a aphorism
from the Bible about a millstone.
Would you say what that is?
I need Better he can tie a
stone around your neck and
throw yourself in this se.
And cause another one
to stumble. Stumble. All right.
Make sure I'm heading down.
Better tie a millstone around your
neck and throw yourself in the sea
rather than into the
blood Cause someone to.
Someone stumble Cause someone to stumble.
Okay.
What are your thoughts?
And.
Hello? Yeah,
Totally unbelievable, right?
It's completely unbelievable. All of it.
But, doctor, I don't care what she said.
I'm telling you, I had a work emergency and
I, I, I couldn't stay. I had
to leave. It isn't my fault,
you know, I came right back to
pick you up when I was supposed to,
like I always do. I just. I
just, just. I just couldn't stay for
the group. But, you know, I
work with a lot of very sick people,
honey, and sometimes they are sick in
a different way than you. But, Dr.
Spring, I told you. I
don't care what she said.
I'm your mother. She loves
me, though. She said so.
She said that she loves me, us, the kids.
She has no right to tell
you that. She's a doctor.
She doesn't have a right, though.
You know, I, I don't think we need the
program anymore. I'm better.
Yeah, I think maybe. Yeah, maybe we.
We just do it. You and
me. What would happen?
So many wonderful things. You would.
You'd be able to get the tube
out and. And you could go back to
school and you'd be eating everything delicious
in the whole world. I mean, wouldn't that
be great? You can do that?
Do what? Make me better.
I won't need the machine.
Well, I'm better than sex
I think maybe, you know, and if not,
then we'll just do it. You know,
you're better than you were.
And Dr. Spring's not the best of us.
Yeah. I'm really sorry,
but I'm not better. Please don't
be madder. Sad that he said that.
Hello? There's someone
here who wants to see you in
the lobby.
What?
Come down. Or don't.
Thanks for checking on me.
Oh, you would not believe
the day I had after you just
left me all alone, abandoned
in your spooky ass apartment
with my bones sticking out my legs.
Called you an. No big deal. What else
did you expect me to do? I
had to get back here to my kid.
Mother of the year. I
almost forgot. I don't.
And what exactly am I supposed to
do with ship breaker cocaine? Flush it.
Okay. It must be nice. Why
didn't I give you any crutches?
Them crutches is
you. You're here.
I hope it's okay. I. I
accidentally followed you this
one time and. You live
here. Are you. Are you
okay? I'm okay. Okay. Okay,
but where did you go? I just. I. I had
to get out of there. Okay,
I understand. So. So let's
do. Do you really, really understand?
I think so. No, this is. This.
This. This is a mistake. This
is. This is a mistake because I.
I thought. I thought that you
understood and then I wouldn't even
have. Let's calm down. I think
what we should do is get in a car
right now and go straight to the
emergency room. Hospital? Yes. Why?
Why? Because. Why? Why? Don't feel ready
to go home. What about
your daughter? My daughter?
Where is your daughter? She's upstairs.
She's sleeping. I don't want to
go to a hospital. I don't want to go
to a hospital. Just. I want
you to help me, Pam. To.
I'm trying to. No, you don't
understand. You don't see it all
their faces, Their little
faces. They look at
us and there is nothing
there. You need to calm down.
You need to calm down. No, I am
fine. Okay? I am fine. But breathe
with me, Caroline. Take
a breath. Just breathe with
me. To start with.
Caroline, Wait.
Caroline.
If this is an emergency,
hang up and call 91 1.
Otherwise call back during
normal business hours,
okay? Call me back. Call
me back tonight, okay? Please,
please, please, please just call me
back, okay? I need you. Bye.
It's It.
Mommy. Should you go
back to sleep? Everything's okay.
I told you. What? It's okay.
I made it better.
Sa it.
Hello?
Oh, why Are you here?
You okay? When did you get here?
Why are you here?
Where is she? She's asleep.
With the babysitter? Yes.
Look, I. I just. I couldn't
think. I. I couldn't function.
I. I couldn't do anything. All I was
doing was thinking about you and her
and the apartment, so I. I
had to come back. I was scared.
No, I wanted to help. Wait, wait. I, I.
What? You just gotta know
how to talk to this guy. That's fine.
Did you look at it? The
hole? Did you see it? Did you
see anything? Oh, yeah. No. Was not
fixed. Now it's fixed. Okay.
Okay. I think. I think we should
just. Let's just go. Just don't see how
it got so bad. How did it
get so bad? Are you trying to
blame me? No, I'm not blaming
you. I just. I just want to get
out of here. It just. It was
a huge. I want to get out of
Do you love me?
Yeah.
Wait, wait. What? What's the
rush? You were the one who was
in a rush to get back here.
Want to be here anymore?
We are here. All right, let's
relieve the babysitter. I'm exhausted.
I want to get to sleep. I'm excited
to see her, even if she's sleeping.
I know, but why don't you go downstairs
and get us some wine or something,
and I can relieve the sitter and then
come back. What's going on? What's going
on? There's something going on.
Open the door.
Me? I don't have a key.
Right, yeah. Okay.
Oh, God. Don't tell me you left
her here without. No, no, no, no,
no, no, no. I have a key.
Hey, I'm my dad. I'm Charles. Nice to
meet you. Must be the babysitter.
Babysitter, yeah. James, right?
Right. Jamie. Right. Well, thank you for.
Oh, hell no. I'm not doing this with
you, yo. Not doing what? What are
you talking about? Not a babysitter,
dude. Excuse me?
Your daughter woke up and was
crying, scared shitless. So I pounded
on the door till she finally
opened it. Had to tell her I was a
friend of your wife, bro. Took me
forever to get her to go to sleep.
And by the way, I have to give
her a band aid. She has some
oozing from. Okay, okay, hold on.
Listen. Who the hell are
you doing in my room?
Your room? Yeah. This is my
wife. That's my child. My room.
I just told you who I was,
and you need to ask your wife?
I got this. A cast on my leg. He's the
babysitter. He's not the babysitter.
He just told me he's not the babysitter.
Who the is he? Can we just go
inside? She can hear everything that you.
Why her machine is outside of her body in
this man. Hey. Hey.
Look at. Yes. Hi. Daddy's home. Oh,
my gosh. Look at you. You're beautiful.
Because Dr. Spring said
I do. Look, she was right.
Wes, what are you saying? Look, no tube.
The tube is garbage. Now
I can go back to school.
But, Daddy, I still don't
want to eat because
it's. What's going on?
Will you take me to the playground
tomorrow? What did you do?
What did you you do?
Sa Sam.
Promise I'll be
What do you mean by
stretchable? Daddy's hard. You can't
move him. He gets mad, and that's it.
Mommy gets mad, too, but she's more like
putty. She gets
tattoo. That's when it's the most stretch.
Putty. I wonder how is
it that you stretch her?
Can I. Can I talk now, please?
Is it okay if Mommy talks? Yep.
I'm not stretchable. I'm not
petty. That's her experience
of you. That isn't true. I try
very hard to be in control of her
and everything, but may as
well not even be there at all.
Well, perception is reality, so. Oh. So I
don't get sad. You seem sad right now.
You do seem sad right now.
We're here to talk about how to get
you better. All we do is
talk about me. I can be
sad. I mean, I'm allowed to be
sad, right? Of course. But you
must know that this is all tangled up
together, and you of all peoples should
know. I know, I know. But this.
This isn't how things
are going to get better.
Mommy, please don't
cry. No, no, I don't cry.
She.
We want the tube removed now, and to do
that, we need. No, she. She won't
do what she has to do because she
knows that she has the safety
net. Things are not stable enough
right now. It's clear that we have
different goals. You want her to get better
before the tube can be removed.
I think the tube needs to come out,
and then she can get better.
We all have the same goal here.
But what I'm learning as we're
talking all together is that you and I need
to spend some time, just
the two of us, without her here,
to talk about some serious issues.
I'm gonna need you to restart
the two things at night, and I
need you to start doing. Did you get the
kind with no cheese? I can't explain
this to you every time, sweetie. They would
just laugh at me and say, it's brunch.
Okay, I'll take the cheese off when
we get home. Of course. Is it
the kind with the little green black
things in the sauce? It's
the same kind we always get.
That kind of has the things in
the sauce. I can't. I can't eat it.
Like, can you, like, scrape,
or does it just mean who
wants it out? You have to be Jesus.
Oh.
Oh, you got your wish.
No cheese. Did you will that to happen?
Are you some kind of witch or something?
Okay, straight to the table.
Actually, no. Wash hands first.
And then straight to the table. No
one's making you go to the bathroom.
I'm just asking you to wash your
hands, please, like we always do.
Is Daddy coming? Where's Daddy? He said
maybe bedtime. Where did he go again?
He just got rocked for a
month. Mommy?
Yeah? I did have to go to the bathroom.
Okay, take a while.
It.
Nothing, Mom. I mean, on the floor.
Come quickly.
Are you coming,
Mommy? Oh,
my God. What? Why didn't
you call me as soon as you came
in here? I just noticed
because I had to go to the
bathroom so bad. I don't like how it feels
on my socks. Where's it coming from?
How cheap is it? Are we
gonna die? Is the house
gonna fall on top of us?
Mommy, can you lift me up and
carry me out? No, just.
Just. Just stay there, okay?
Just hold on. Why are you listening?
Just please stay on the toilet. O.
All right. Hey. Yeah, we just got
home. And you would not believe
Ra.
It.
Nothing is familiar. Real. Ever.
Every time I feel this way, I get
further and further away from being in
myself. Like I can never get back.
When you think about
time, how do you see it?
How do I see time?
Time is a series of things to get through.
Each goal is a clip. There's
nothing at the end of it.
But then it comes, and
there's just another clip.
Yo, you know about holotropic breathing,
yo, this is lit. Basically,
you trick your brain into
thinking it's dead when you see the
universe, you know what I'm saying?
So you don't feel paranoia,
guilt, something's wrong.
I mean, I've got a friend who
does, like, breaking and like that. N.
See what I'm saying? This is like
hyperventilating. When you die, they say you let
off this chemical. And when you're
dreaming, you let up the same chemical.
It's sort of like that, you know?
You make your brain think it's dead,
but being brain dead is still alive.
Holographic. Holotropic. Tropic.
Holotropic.
Is that real? What? The.
The dead brain thing. Oh, yeah. I mean,
I guess anything could
be real. Anything could be
too. You know what I'm saying?
But you know that feeling, like,
when you're not.
Yeah.
Are you making fun of me,
Miss? I don't even know you.
Okay, yes on these, but no on the wine.
Why the
law prohibits me from
selling you this wine right now.
But it isn't even two. It's 158.
Right. But by the time I ring
these up, it will Be best two.
It.
I'll just get the peanut
butter cups to put them in it.
I can't talk about this
anymore. I'm telling you. Please.
Hey. Hey. Look, if that's what
Dr. Spring thinks is best, then we
have to. Listen, there is no we,
though. It's just me. I. I'm. It's not
fair telling you. Fair.
Listen, I'm working,
all right? I'm dealing with
a lot of. You have no idea.
And I cannot do anything
about what's going on there from
here. You need to be a team. You
have to go there today and check
in. In and let them know that this
whole. I know, I know. You know,
the problem with that logic, though,
is that I'm not a housewife. I work,
too. Mommy. This hotel is
gross. Disgusting. Wow.
You guys look just like twins.
Anybody ever tell you that? No.
You're the first person to notice
and. Or say that. Everyone says
that. Hey, cutie. Want
to see a treat? Yeah.
Whoa. How did you do that?
Mommy, you should take it.
She's never gonna eat it.
Am I gonna throw up now?
Yeah. You hung up on me.
Look, I know you have a lot on your
plate, but she's getting
better, and the rest of it is totally
temporary. The ceiling will
get fixed. I promise. The sky is
not falling out of this pure fault.
I love you. I'm sorry. I love you,
too. What's so bad about a hotel anyway?
While you're there, take advantage of the
pool. I got a pool, right?
Always said you wish you had a
pool, so now you have one. Why
don't you go you do some laps,
you know, lounge a little, get a
floaty, kick back, get a couple of my.
Did you know that you can
train hamsters to love you?
No. You can train them to love you.
Well, I would love if you would
finish your bacon. That way I
can tell Everybody you got 100%
on breakfast. And once they love
you, you can get them to
do everything, including tricks.
Let's start with one bite.
Ring, ring.
Is parking guy gonna get mad again?
Double park, Double park. Double park.
Okay. Gotta be fast. You
know, what happened last
time. Face,
you've missed the last few
weeks of family sessions.
Yeah, I told you what happened.
Our entire ceiling fell down.
And with all that chaos, and we're
living out of the hotel tell. So we
need to schedule something as soon as
possible to talk about her goals
and. And the treatment process.
Yeah, okay. Yeah, Duh.
Yeah.
Oh, you meant now. Okay. All right,
well, let me look at my schedule. I should
probably do that. I know that
you already know this, but you can't
start letting feelings of guilt
and control about this illness and
treatment affect you. It's no one's fault.
That's right. That's what I keep
hearing. Also, I really need you
to start taking care of
yourself. Yes. No. Put my
oxygen mask on first. I'm just
gonna have to get blunt here.
So she needs to reach
her weight goal in the next
week. If she does that,
then we can put tube
removal and discharge dates on
the books. But if she doesn't do that,
I'm going to have to reassess
the level of care because obviously
something is not working here.
And this is what I need to talk to you
about. When can we sit
down properly? Yeah, fine.
September 7th. It's September 15th.
September 20th. I mean September.
September 20th.
Hey. I told you not to do that.
And the next time I will report
you to the building. I know, I'm
sorry to report you won't be allowed in
the lot. I'll have you. I'm
not in there long enough.
Whatever.
The apartment is a 30 minute
walk, but might as well be on Mars.
And I just think every time I
go check it looks worse and I.
I have no control. Have you tried
discussing a compromise with your landlord?
Perhaps they could section
off the room with the hole.
Then you could live freely
in the rest of the apartment.
Live freely with asbestos and 100-year-old
dust and black hole
sores? That's your advice?
It's not advice. It's a
question to consider.
I should really show you this hole.
It's an entire nightmare on
my ceiling. When does Charles return?
This week, three of eight. I mean,
you should know that your
right wings. Don't. It's your job to
remember the boring details
of my life. We do have to stop
now. We are out of time. I have another
patient coming. So. Wait, now what
about the 10 minute warning? Yeah, I just
wasn't paying attention. You didn't respond
to the email that I sent you about
my dream. I don't respond to my
client's dream emails.
Okay, so if you don't
bring it up, then what is the point?
Okay, you got me. I had a dream and I
need to talk about it today. And I
didn't get any time because you didn't
give me a warning. We can discuss the
dream. You emailed the next session.
Wow. It's actually a different dream.
Well, I don't really.
Okay, quickly. Okay. I was in a hospital
day room or recreation
room or something. And I
knew my daughter was also in
the hospital, but. But far away,
another part. And it
didn't look like the hospital
she was in last year, though, when everything
happened, it was different. It was weird.
And I was waiting for Charles to
come get me so we could pick her
up, but instead you were
there and you wanted to sit
really close to me, and I was, like,
inching away from you on the bench,
and you kept inching closer. And I got my
phone out to text Charles because I
was nervous. He'd come in and he'd see,
and then you tried to grab
the phone, and then you
started to tickle me to
try to get me to drop it.
And I was like, I was really enjoying it,
but I was so scared that Charles
would come in and he would see.
All right.
Okay. All right. You have to tell me.
Talk about it next time.
We won't talk about it next time.
You know that. There's no thread.
There's no thread at all.
Yes. What now? Hi. Yes, I'm so sorry.
Have to leave. Stop work. What?
Mother died. I have to leave work.
Okay. Just.
Okay. What is the issue then? Can
you tell me? This has been going on
for so long. Do I need to get
a new contractor? I, I, I spread.
How long will you be
grieving for your mother?
I need a date, okay? It needs
to be fixed. Just give me a date.
My husband and I will be returning to.
Okay, well, fine. I'm going to be going
there and checking on what you've done
so far, and I'm going to
be taking pictures. And I
can see you now. Perfect.
I'm really happy to hold this
silent space for you, but as
usual, I am curious as to what
you might be thinking about Riley.
It's all I can think about.
Tell me what's going on. I,
I keep telling you. It's. It's like I
keep saying to his doctor.
He. He doesn't smile. He.
He looks at me weirdly, and he's just very
uncomfortable all of the time,
and no one will do anything
about it.
You know what I would love and
what I think would be extremely helpful is
if you could come to a session
without Riley. I think it would be.
I know you think you can't,
but I think if you got a sitter
who you trusted in New York,
the mom came home from work and
the nanny had stabbed both of her kids
to death in the bathtub. That is real.
That happened. A situation like
that is very, very, very
unusual. Okay. Most people
have caregivers who can trust that.
Well, I. I believe you can. I
just think you don't want to or
you're afraid, so let's stick
to serious. Protect him from
something specific, because something very
bad is happening.
I'm so. Can I just. One second. I
just have to. This could be about.
About my daughter.
I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm so sorry.
Yeah. Look. Look, I.
I'm not Riley's doctor,
so I can't speak to what may
or may not be going on with him.
We can only talk about
your feelings, about what
you perceive as going on with Riley.
Which is why I do believe medication I'm
not perceiving is happening, and I
feel awful about it.
Okay, listen. When
you're having these feelings
of deep panic at home
with Riley, just put him
in his crib or carrier
or somewhere safe and
draw a bath. Breathe until your heart
isn't racing anymore.
Come out, get dressed,
start the day over again. Put on
some real clothes.
These feelings that you're
experiencing, they are.
They're very, very, very scary.
Okay? Very dark. And
that's why you need to keep
moving. You need to keep going. You need
to be busy. You can't sit inside the fear,
doubt and scariness.
Breath work is a deep healing
in the nervous system where we
hold trauma and trapped
emotion. We can't talk
our way out of trauma.
The body needs to be open,
unprocessed emotions in the body. And this
is why breath work is so
powerful. If you're looking for deeper
ways of treating and you're
searching for alternatives, don't wait
any longer. Let's connect and schedule
your first breath work session directly.
Before the judge read Ortega her sentence, she
begged for forgiveness for her unspeakable crime.
She stated she was sorry for
what the judge had called pure evil.
She then spoke about how untreated
mental illness was to blame. But the judge
is not convinced. She will be serving life
in prison with no possibility of parole,
you would not believe what
I have been through today.
Okay, so I don't know
if you recall, but there
was this pair of absolutely
Devoniana Devon Gorge leather gloves
that I saw on the Real.
Real. I wake up this morning.
Banned. Banned. Yeah,
I know. Hey, my love. So
you've been keeping up and
eating and doing all the right
things. Yeah, I ate some cheese today.
Daddy, can I get a hamster? I
already told you, you're not getting a
hamster. No, no, no,
no, no. She's not getting
a hamster. She's not getting a
hamster. Where are you what? I hear
something weird. Oh, yeah,
dad, I'm catching a game.
A game? Yeah. Yeah. We got here
this morning and there's a minor league
team here on the island where
we go. It's a little loud, so it must
be nice, huh? Doing things for yourself.
What's that like? Hey, hey, hey. You want
to switch places? You don't know what
I'm dealing with here, all right, I'll go
sit on my ass all day
in therapy. I'm sorry.
I mean, sit on my butt
listening to people whine and
you can captain this stupid boat. Okay,
listen, I'm allowed to do things
on my time off. Jesus Christ.
Time off? Oh. Okay. Daddy has to go now and
we have to drive.
I told you, it's a rodent.
Just something to look after
for no reason. Please, please
don't ask again. And don't ask Daddy
things. I already say no
to Mommy. It's not fair. It.
Dr. Spring said this is a
big week. Did she tell you
that? Yeah. I think you can do it. But I'm
already doing it my best. I
know, but you have to do a little
better and we can get rid of this
thing and everything will be okay.
I'll be better,
okay? Well,
it's not up to me. It's up to you.
What book can I read
you tonight? I'm too tired.
Just a song, okay? What song?
The dead whale 1.
Sit beside the breakfast
table. Think about your
troubles. Pour yourself cup tea.
Think about the bubbles. You can take
your teardrops and drop them in a teacup.
Take him down to the river side and
from our to be swept up by a
current and taken to
the ocean. Be swallowed
by fishes who are eating massive fishes
and swallow.
I don't mean to say we're all
robots, but I wonder if you had been
raised the way your mother had been
raised. I mean, she had a father who
just took off and come home. Then another
man entered her mother's life and she
became a text to him and he bailed
out. Who know what you're saying?
I did have that for very soon.
My question is, if you had been
raised as your mother had been raised,
do you think you would have. Okay. See how
many you can catch. Okay. Okay. Okay. Open,
please.
Put this on my room, please.
It's definitely before two.
I'm going to need to see your id. Ma'. Am.
You've never asked me
that before. Ma', am, I'm going
to need to see your id.
You really want me to go all
the way back up to my room,
get my ID and come all the way
back down here is the rule. Aren't
you only on the second floor anyway?
When is this the rule? I
have been in here every single
cr. Maybe you should find my ID
when I checked. Ladies,
I'm not going back. Ladies,
ladies. Calm it down,
bro. Not everything deep.
She barking at me. Just
use my id, bro. I can't do that.
Why not? I can't use your
ID for her wine. It's my wine.
She's just paying for it.
She took it.
Hey,
what name
is Jamie, by the way? Got a light?
Not interested. In what? I need to
be alone. Who is Hell.
Thank you would have been nice. Miss it
at the hotel? Outside? Just
getting some fresh air. I don't like
it when you leave her there by
yourself. And even for a second it isn't
safe. I'm just outside for a minute
getting some air. The windows don't
open in there. Stop everyone
from killing themselves,
obviously. What if she
wakes up and she never
wakes up and anyway, I have someone
at the hotel now. Babysitter. Really?
Where'd you go? Where'd you
find a babysitter? His name's James.
His name is James. He's a male babysitter.
Did you call just to call me a
bad mother or what? I mean,
you have no idea what it's like
not to be able to go outside even
for a minute by yourself. You can go
outside whenever you want to. You can
go wherever you want to. The
machine doesn't stop and there's
nothing to do if. Oh my God.
Who is the one who went to a
baseball game today? And who is the
one who filled her bag with bloop 500
times, saw patients, picked her up,
had to do dinner where she only got 20%
and then have to try
to convince. Look, I got
to go. The reception's really
bad here. Everything's fine. Wait,
wait, wait, wait. Did you go to the apart?
Here are pics of whole forgot
to send today I went during
It what
is movie Babies
Zombies 80s mothers eating babies.
Here's what I found. A
court has reopened. A nine
month old baby really was taken
and killed by a dingo. 24 years
after Meryl Streep portrayed the
Australian mother wrongly jailed
for killing her child. Chamberlain
has always insisted she.
Sam,
your job is super
fun and like a really, really
big kid type of thing to do. I can't
hear you. I said, you know, it'd
be super fun and a big kid type
of thing to do. What? I drop
you in front of the door and you
just go out by yourself. Oh, my
God. That would be so cool of you.
No. Why not? All the moms walked in.
Your mom. We have to
walk in. Move to sign me in.
Eva, Eva, can you walk her in today?
Mom, please, please, please.
I cannot deal with the parking.
Of course. No problem. No problem.
Thank you. Okay. Exciting news.
Guess what. Guess what.
Ava will walk you in. Go, go, go.
Mommy, Allie scares me.
She only needs Nutella.
I need you to be with you for Mama,
okay? Please, Please. You
are my mom. Look at hamsters,
baby. Doing. Look at them. Okay,
you want press? Score. Go, go. Okay.
See? I love you. I love you. Okay, I'm.
And then you told me that if
you touch a baby bird, the mama
bird will not come back.
If they don't touch them.
That must have been some dream.
You kissed me.
You said you kissed me. Yes,
I heard you. In your dream. I
kissed you. Yeah. And then?
And then the next day, I felt crushing
guilt. And I knew somehow that
your husband had called me an.
You know, Stephen, we can talk
about these feelings apart from your
but I
can't help it if in my dreams
you always want to kiss me.
What's the difference between
going outside on hotel property
when she's sleeping and
going all the way home?
In one, I guess I'm just a
regular mom making a shitty
choice. And in the
other, I'm a. I'm a straight
up shitty mom. Well, it's
not my role to decide whether
you should or whether you should
not. No, no, no, no, no. I shouldn't.
I know I shouldn't. I shouldn't
even leave her for a second.
It is your job to say.
Just tell me not to do.
Do it. Tell me what to
do. I don't think you want
me to tell you what to do. You know what to
do. No one will tell me what to
do. I'm supposed to know how to
fix this. I'm supposed to know
how to fix her. What is it you think
it's your job to fix? She
has to weigh 50 pounds
by next week. Dr. Spring said
that's a gain of 2.5 pounds. Right?
Each day is supposed to be 2500 calories
in compensating for her resting rate.
At 1800 calories burned, that's got
to be at least 80% of each meal for
seven days, plus the tube. And
that's if she just lays still all day.
And if it doesn't, then something
about not getting the tube out
and reassessing the level of care.
I mean, what do I. I would like you
to get a good night's sleep.
So would I. But I'm asking
you a thing, an actual thing, a
problem to fix that. I need help with
this. Am I supposed to just sit
around and watch her fail and this is
just gonna go on forever? What do I
do? Okay, that means there's no drinking.
There's no drugs. There's
no. Are you listening to me?
Can you hear me?
I'm asking you what I'm supposed to do.
Why don't you like me?
Why don't I like you? I don't even
want to answer, but just forget it.
That is incredibly unfair.
Why is this so important to you right now?
I just want something
to tell me what to do.
I love it. I'm going to kiss
him. I'm going to hug him.
Oh, my God. Maybe I should
get s'. More. That's really
nice. I said don't open
the box. I just want
to see him. He's subscribing.
He doesn't like being in the box.
He's trying to get out. Can
you hold it close, please?
And keep it closed. He's
scratching me. He's supposed to
love me. Close the box.
I can't. He's getting out.
Hand it to me. Hand it to me.
He's gonna jump out. Give it to
me. I can't. I can't see. Give it to the
wrong hamster. Ow.
We're going to die. No, we're
not going to die. But I have to pull
over. Ow. Maybe this is. Oh, my God. Out.
It's out. Oh, my. Ow. Oh, my God.
It's out. Why aren't you putting
that thing in? Just put it back in.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. My bed. Please.
No one want him anymore.
Okay, okay. You're fine.
You're fine and I'm fine.
Okay, Nobody is hurt. Let's take
it with you. Take it with you.
Right. Army. I made my hand.
What are you doing? Hey, hey, hey.
Oh. You're lucky there's no damage.
We don't have to exchange change
information. My kid is in that car. Do you
hear her crying? Huh? You
scared her to death, you dick. Hey,
mom, it was barely just a
tap. Don't call me mommy.
She thought we were gonna die. Don't
with me about my child's safety, huh?
Give me all your information.
What the is that. What? That.
That answer.
I love you. I miss you. Come back here.
Everything is under control.
You know that. I Love you. I'm.
I. I think you're the best. And so
proud of you for everything. And you can do
it. And you're almost all better.
I can't stop. I just love you too much.
You smell like wine.
Hello? Hi, it's. It's Caroline.
Caroline Prim, your
patient. I'm sorry it's so late.
Oh, is this an emergency?
We just. If this is an emergency, you need
to hang up and It's. It's not
an emergency. I just. I forgot
to call you yesterday. What?
Well, you told me to take Riley
for a walk after I took a bath
and calm down and. And I
did it and I forgot to call you.
Okay. Yes. Well,
that's good. And I.
I do feel though, that I. I should
tell you that this number is.
Is really for emergencies only. Okay.
Oh, I'm sorry. I just. I
just couldn't sleep thinking
that you were worried. I wasn't worried.
You weren't. You weren't
thinking about me? I said that
you could call me if that you.
I said you could call me if you
couldn't calm down. Not
that you had to call me, but.
But are. Are you safe? Caroline, are you.
I'm sorry. I. I misunderstood. I'm.
Yeah. I'm so dumb. Yes, I'm safe.
Okay, well, let's. Let's
talk about this in session.
Okay? I'm sorry.
I'm. I'm obviously bothering
you. It is not your fault.
And I will. I'll. I'll see
you next week. Well, can I
come in tomorrow? I. It's just
waiting until next week seems too long.
Well, let me. Let me check my
schedule and I will text you in time,
okay? Okay. I'm sorry.
God. Kidding me?
Hello? Hello?
Hello? Hello? Is anyone here doing
their job?
Want some note with that trick?
Got a knife?
Open up. It's mommy. Little bear.
Open up.
Double.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. The. Your problem?
What? Who? What? You obsessed with me
or something? What are you talking about?
Don't flatter yourself. What? Why are you
looking at me? What? What do you want?
I want you just sitting outside and by
yourself. Some creep might walk past.
What a creep? How the do I know?
Lady, it's creeps all over this place,
lady. My bad, Miss Just
dumb. Ma'. Am. Proud. Yeah.
Swag. Oh my God. Your thoughtiness,
housewife. At this point, I don't even know
what to refer to you as.
I'm just call you female. Yo,
crazy pants. I was gonna
partake in surfing the
web for some things that I'm
into. If you Catch my drift? And just
putting it out there. You're more
than welcome to join. No pressure.
Just saying,
what kind of stuff isn't
like the dark web? Like
where you can buy people
and stuff? No, never
bought a person, so. But you
could. Or sell one, I mean,
I guess so, but I don't come
on the dark web. Searching
for that kind of. So places
on there where people, like, show each other
videos of murderers and people that are
holding captive. We change the
subject. Let's buy drugs. Let's get some.
Some, Right. Come on. What
do you want? What are you into?
Wow. Did they have, like,
cocaine, something? When was the last
time you tried cocaine? What
do you mean? It's a very popular
drug. I like it. All
right, well, I'm getting
Molly, so we'll get both. Secret thing is,
I don't get paid till next week,
so I need you to cover me.
Oh. Oh, I know. No, no,
I see what this is about.
Where are you going? I'm going back to
normal. Him? For what? You don't even
have a key. Besides, your daughter's passed
out. Front desk lady's definitely in a
coma by now. Calm down.
Come sit down. Let's order. Jesus.
Put it on my credit card, I
guess. What? No, the 400.
I can put it on my credit card.
No, no, see, man, it can't be
traced back to you. It has to be
anonymous. Oh, then how do you pay
for the stuff? All right, what
we could do is we could go
to the pharmacy, something real
quick and put it on like one of those gift
cards. Or maybe you got
Bitcoin or Crypto or some like that.
No, I don't have any of that
stuff. And I. I can't get in a
car and leave my daughter alone in the
middle of the night. Leave your daughter
alone all the time. No, I don't.
That's just if I go in the field.
I literally seen you leave your daughter
alone myself with my own two eyes.
What's. You stalking me or
something? Concerned citizen.
I mean, takes the village, right?
What?
Sweetie, Sweetie, it's Mommy.
You blocked me out. Sweetie,
sweetie. Open the door.
Little bear, open the door. Just wheel
machine over and open the door.
Little bear,
open that door. I locked myself
out. It's Mom. It's Mommy.
I'm not sure how we could talk about
anything helpful if you won't even look
me in the eye. You asked
me for this extra session.
Yeah, I can't. He must be so mad
at me. Mad? Oh, because you
called me? No, no, no. I'M not mad at
you. Let's move on, please.
You have a daughter.
Why didn't you ever tell
me? Well, this isn't about me,
but now I know that you know.
I. I don't know. You need to tell me.
It's not your fault. But it is
mine. Okay. You know,
Caroline, I think that it may be time
that we. That we consult with
someone about some.
Some medication for you.
Um, I can't take her
medication. And breastfeeding?
Do you want me to kill
my baby? Of course not.
I just think if a doctor
thinks it could be beneficial,
then maybe we need to prioritize your.
Your health over breastfeeding
just right now. No, you need to take
care of yourself so you
can take care of Riley.
I have to go to the bathroom.
Well, we only have 15 minutes left.
I have to go now. Okay, well,
would you. Can you wait till
after the session? No.
Sam.
Caroline. Excuse me.
Caroline. Excuse me.
Caroline, I need you to help me
Caroline.
Okay. Okay, Caroline.
Caroline is
going to session my patient.
She has this baby, and she said she
was going to the bathroom, and then
she. She left the baby with me,
and I, I. She's gone. I'm with a
patient. Please. I need your help. I
really need your help. I'm with a patient.
Also, I'm not your supervisor.
This was a professional issue.
This is not a treatment issue. Joking. This
is an emergency. Whatever's happening in
here is not as important as what
is. I'm going to care. I need your
help. I need your help. This is an
emergency. You can come back later.
Absolutely not.
Hello? Hello? Hello? Yes, hello. I am your
wife's psychotherapist, and she left today
in the middle of her appointment, and I.
Yes, this is your wife's therapist.
I. She left in the middle of her
appointment today, and. You got to
stop. You got to stop. I have no idea
what you're even talking about.
Who is this? Is. Is your wife named
Caroline Prim, and you are.
Your baby's name is Riley
and you're pregnant. Right? Okay. Right.
My wife doesn't have a. Okay, well,
she has been my patient at the center
for Psychological Arts in Montauk since
she was about six months pregnant with
Riley, and today. Well, this is news to
me. Well, weather you knew
that she was my patient or not.
What I'm trying to say to you is
that this is an emergency, and I
really. She left your baby here with me,
and I need you to come and
pick him up. What do you mean?
What do you mean, what do you
mean what? I mean she's not answering
her phone. She's probably in
the bathroom by a fucking vending
machine. Okay, I, I, I suggest that
you call her. Maybe she would pick up
if it was you. I'm gonna text you
my address to come and get the
baby. Jesus Christ. I'm sure
she's okay. I'm sure she's okay.
I'm sure she's okay. Typical of
her. Okay, she probably
just needed some space.
I'm gonna text you my
address. Where? So you
can come and get her. Listen
to me. Listen to me. I'm at work.
I am at work right now. That's
why she's supposed to be taking
care of the baby. Baby so I can work. Okay,
here's what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna text you my address.
You can drop the baby off
anywhere. Well, I can't do
that. And I am very concerned
about your wife. This is
an emergency and she's gonna talk
twice now. This isn't my emergency.
I'm not the one who lost my
life. I need you to come down here
and get your baby immediately. And
if you're not here within a half an hour,
I'm going to call the police. I was text
your address. Thank you very much.
Yes?
May I come in?
Patience.
Would you mind waiting in my
office down the hall just a few
moments? Your office? Who are
you, the boss? Just
another therapist. I have
an office. It's down the hall.
Door is open, you'll see it.
This is my time. She's mine right
now. You can't make me wait. Okay,
this is an emergency situation.
You can either wait in my office or
you need to leave the building entirely.
Baby? Is that your baby? You have a baby?
Means you guys have a baby
together. Okay, this situation does not
concern you. Okay? Make a choice.
Okay. I'll be in your office,
but I won't wait that long.
Wow. I mean, can you believe that I got
talked into getting this
hamster after all of that.
My God, she's right.
I really am so stretchable.
It's disgusting. You know,
when I was in medical school,
I had to do a stint in a medical
experiments lab. And we were tested
the efficacy of a drug on rats.
I. So what worked is
we take the rats and we drop them in this
guillotine thingy, chop
their heads off individually
peel the skin back and
then look at their brains
under a microscope. I just so
curious about the process
with that. You know,
the rats would claw and bite
you when you put your
hand in the cage to pick them
up. So they gave us these steel
chainmail gloves.
German. They're beautiful.
So you put on the glove and
you put your hand in the
cage. The rats would just
attach themselves to
the glove, clean for dear
life, you know? And then when you
got to the kine box, you
had to shake them off,
really shake them. I was
always worried that the rat
would get hurt when it's hit its
head on the guillotine, you know,
but their brains were
always fine when we looked
out on the microscope. Hope.
Rodents are resilient creatures.
Yeah,
I'll tell Steve in your
sessions. Cancelled.
Take care of this.
I love you.
Just tell me, was she
suicidal? Homicidal? No,
no, no. She was obsessed
with protecting the baby.
And. Yeah, she wouldn't
hurt the baby and she
didn't talk about suicide. She wouldn't
abandon Riley. She just did abandon him.
Right. Well, you know, I mean,
permanently. Forever.
Is that it? I have another patient
waiting who only needs my hallway.
It's fine. More comedy. Think woman
tries to run away from all the responsibilities.
Everybody gets all upset and they come
back with their tail and their legs. Okay.
When you have finished recording,
you may hang up or press 1
for more options. Hi. Hi, It's. It's me
again. Your tenant from 22 Algonquin,
Unit 1. You know, the one with the giant
hole in the ceiling killing.
Your repairs guy ran off.
And it's getting worse. And I want to
know why you're doing nothing and why
you're happy for my daughter
and I to be staying at a far pass full
of freaks while I continue to
pay you rent. And I have a very,
very, very important patient that
is a prominent lawyer. And I am not
afraid.
I was after a song. Visa, gift cards.
What denominations do you have? Do you
have a minute to talk before the
children come out? Sure. Okay, go.
So I've noticed that you still haven't
made the appointment for family
therapy like we discussed the other morning.
It's not. It's just been so crazy at
work. Right. So I can't stress to
you enough how important this is.
I'm. I'm on your side here. Yes,
yes, yes, I understand. We need
her off the machine. Yes,
so do I. Okay, I'm going
to be frank. We need her off
of it as soon as possible for her
to remain here. And to do
that, she needs to gain faster.
Okay, well, but. But we have until
next week, right? The 50 pound goal.
No, the way things are
going, is we going to make
that goal? What are you saying we
do weigh ins every morning. She's not
gonna make the goal. Because the goal you
set was impossible. We were
set up to fail. It's unrealistic.
We're gonna have to
reassess the level of care.
What does that mean? Well,
we can discuss it in our meeting.
You know what I would love
and think would be so good
is if we could get a date on
the calendar of the surgery.
A concrete goal that we
can all work towards. It's not.
It's not a surgery. A tube
removal. Well, a procedure.
Whatever you call it, it's not
a procedure either. When it's
time to remove it, the
doctor just pulls it out.
Pull it out? Yeah. It just slides out.
They could just really just
pull it out? Yeah, it's that
simple. But what happens to the
hole? It closes up on its own. Oh.
It's kind of like when you
get a cut on your tongue.
It wants to close up.
Oh, hi. Is James here?
Who are you?
I'm his neighbor. I'm there in that room.
There he is. Not you. Oh. Do you
know when he'll be back? I just
have something to give him. Give it
to me. I'll see you. He gets
it. No, no, I. I have to give
it to him myself. It's. It's a value.
A value? Yeah, a value.
Relax your body.
Settle in with yourself.
Right now you're only supposed to breathe.
We're in the work phase of this. The more
you relax your body right
now, the easier it gets for
you. Recognize the
accessing the body's wisdom. So let your
mind go. If you can find
your attention within the
movement of your breath.
Start noticing any
sensation in your body and
see what catches your
interest or your curiosity.
And hold the space in the way
you want to be out. You probably
notice anything. The
intensity builds up in your body.
That's all rough and
trying to control anything.
See if you can tense
recognize you can hold space.
You can love yourself right
Don't avoid any single
thing. Don't abandon yourself.
Stay connected to yourself.
See if you can honor yourself
in this moment of reconnecting to yourself.
Use your voice and imagine your emotion.
Are allowed to be. Maybe
you can even do it tonight way.
Okay, we got to be quick cuz.
Cuz I have to get back. But I
just. I just had a show
somewhere. What's going on in
here? Okay, so. Room filled
with plastic tarp everywhere. Nice.
So is this your kid room? Oh, told you
the fucking ceiling fell
down. What the fuck
is that? That's It. That's the hole.
That's why I'm at the hotel. That's why
you staying at the fucking hotel.
Oh, my God. Come on. You could have
slept on your couch for a
couple of weeks. What? Look at
it. It's been two months and
they refuse to fix it. There's dust
and mold everywhere.
Yo, what is up there?
They've been renovating forever.
They said a pipe
burst. Oh, it's right there.
There you go. I did the
that. You know, the thing,
the breath thing. What?
And I think it took me
here. I think maybe that's
why I wanted to come to see it.
You need goddess with that. You can't
just be doing it. What are you doing way,
man? They lied to you, sis.
Look, come see. It's a
clean break. I'm telling
you. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. What the,
man? My cousin Craig is a
general contractor. You know
somebody that know somebody
that fix this. Jeffy D. Look like
you got some debris on the
furniture. You know how to reupholster.
It's going to cost you.
Oh,
James.
Oh, my.
Everybody settle. Right.
Thank you. All right,
so the topic today is something that's so
fundamental that it's actually
a little silly to talk about.
But it is so important to
your child's recovery and
more than that, to your ability
to help your child recover.
Can anybody guess
what it is?
Blame. And anybody?
Shame. Thank you.
So, as parents, a lot of
times we look too closely
at ourselves, right? And we start to
ask ourselves, is this my fault?
Could I have done anything differently?
What if this, what if that? But all it does
is create a thinking trap,
and that does not help your child.
So what I'd like to do if we. Look,
Melanie, do you want to put
some words to your feelings?
Yeah. I.
Sometimes I just think it is all my fault.
Do you have something to say to Melanie?
No, no. Whoa. No, never
mind. Don't mind me.
No, no, no. I want to
hear what you have to say.
You keep telling us that
it isn't our fault. Yeah,
but. But it is.
Excuse me? I mean, if it isn't
our fault, then we're really super.
We're just walking around pretending we have
power to change something that we don't even
understand because it's not our fault.
But we know how to change it, even though
it's not our fault. So this is actually
good. This is actually good because now
we have a lot. No, no, no,
no. I know. I. I think I have.
No, no, no. It's our fault, isn't
fair. But it is our fault. I mean,
that's the. That's how I see it. That's
it. That's what this whole thing is.
Is our fault. And sit down.
No, no, no. I don't want to
talk about it. I already know it.
And I don't have to meet you because
I know what you're going to say.
She's failed and that I failed because you
set us up to fail. No one tries
hard if they got a safety net.
Nobody. Okay? And you should
know that Dr. Spring you the
rest of my life. Bring down
that tube every night until I die.
Do not leave that door. And
none of this is helping any of us.
None of it. Come back.
Hey. Hey. Why are you calling?
Isn't it bear group going on
right now? I couldn't sit there.
I'm in the car. I'll pick her up later.
But I can't. I can't stay there.
What do you mean you couldn't sit.
I can't do it. I can't do it.
She's got to get better. But she's
not going to make the goal. And
I, I. I don't know what's going to
happen now. You need to get
back in there. Hole is getting bigger.
No, no. The apartment
hole. The goddamn hole.
Why can't you just keep
tabs on those guys? The guy's
gone for a week. There's no one
working on it. What? A week? When were
you gonna mention it? I'm telling you now.
It's very complicated to explain over the
phone. Just send me pictures.
No more pictures. I'm not going back.
I'm never going back there. I talked to
him. He. He's not doing
anything. And by the
way, I think he has a deal
with the motel because.
Stop, stop, stop, stop. Okay,
let me just get this straight.
You aren't going into the program anymore,
and you aren't going into our apartment
anymore? That's right. Hey.
How do you expect anything
to get back to normal? Then it won't.
What are you talking about? It won't?
All right. Are you. Are you in
your right mind now? Are you
done? Also, there's a woman missing. What?
Who? What? You tell
me. She's missing. She left
and she's not picking
up her phone. Let's take a
deep breath. Start. No, no, no,
no, no. I can't talk to you about
this. Why aren't you going back
into a group? I would just talk to my
therapist later. That, that this
is fine. Everything. Everything's.
Everything's Fine. That guy. I just
looked in the bank accounts. How often?
Every day. Every day? Every day.
Come on. No sitting idle in
vehicles. Please move the car
or yourself. I have a right to sit
in my car without you harassing
me. What? Yeah. Are you
talking to. There's this creepy
who's harassing me. Me. Every day
he harasses me. He's obsessed with me.
He's back at my window wanting something.
To leave the parking lot or
get out of your car. Oh, my God.
Are you serious? Yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah. Call the
police. Call the police. Yeah, I'm
gonna call the police on you. See you here
again. Oh, my God. You're
harassed. This is harassment.
Anything in particular
keeping you silent right now?
Fact that I want to be
silent is keeping me, I think.
This isn't about you.
What I mean is, I. I
mean, I pay for your time,
right? So I can do anything I
want with that time. And right now I
just want to lay here without you talking.
Well, you did not have
to come here for that.
Go lie on your own couch.
Do you wish I lied on my own
couch instead of coming here?
All I'm saying is you
chose not to be alone.
I'm alone. No, you're not
alone. I'm here, but. No,
you aren't. Not really what we
can do, am I? Just not seriously.
Okay, you know what? Did I ever tell you
that I was pregnant before?
Like, I've been pregnant twice.
I never tell anyone this.
It was when Charles and
I were first dating, and I
got an abortion right away. Like,
I took a pregnancy test and then
just went to a random clinic the next day.
I got the surgical kind
with the vacuum thing.
And it hurt really badly.
Like, the nurse
held my hand,
and for some reason, I didn't
realize how badly it would hurt,
but I really did.
Yeah, that was almost
20 years ago. I'd have
a kid in college by
now if I hadn't done that.
Maybe I got rid of the wrong one.
Why won't you say anything?
I can't breathe.
You don't get it. You don't see.
You love to tell me. I don't get it.
What is it you think I
don't get? What is it you're
so sure I can't help you with?
I'm one of those people that's
not supposed to be a mom.
I'm not a mom. I'm not. This isn't supposed
to be what it's like. This
isn't it. This can't be it.
You say something not
Everyone can do it. I can't.
Do you have any kids?
Do you have a kid?
Hello?
Why won't you talk to me?
Why won't you help me?
I know what you're doing, and I can't
have it. What am I doing?
This isn't working. What do
you mean? We can't see each other
anymore.
I got here early. You'll have
to wait outside.
Look, I don't know why you aren't
answering your cell, but Dr. Spring called
and. It's Dr. Spring. You cannot bring your
daughter here for further
treatment until we have.
You are too much. You
know you are. I'm gonna.
Hey, thanks for checking in. In case
you forgot, my wife still happens to.
To be missing. You know, I
don't know what kind of number.
What the.
You. You mentioned a aphorism
from the Bible about a millstone.
Would you say what that is?
I need Better he can tie a
stone around your neck and
throw yourself in this se.
And cause another one
to stumble. Stumble. All right.
Make sure I'm heading down.
Better tie a millstone around your
neck and throw yourself in the sea
rather than into the
blood Cause someone to.
Someone stumble Cause someone to stumble.
Okay.
What are your thoughts?
And.
Hello? Yeah,
Totally unbelievable, right?
It's completely unbelievable. All of it.
But, doctor, I don't care what she said.
I'm telling you, I had a work emergency and
I, I, I couldn't stay. I had
to leave. It isn't my fault,
you know, I came right back to
pick you up when I was supposed to,
like I always do. I just. I
just, just. I just couldn't stay for
the group. But, you know, I
work with a lot of very sick people,
honey, and sometimes they are sick in
a different way than you. But, Dr.
Spring, I told you. I
don't care what she said.
I'm your mother. She loves
me, though. She said so.
She said that she loves me, us, the kids.
She has no right to tell
you that. She's a doctor.
She doesn't have a right, though.
You know, I, I don't think we need the
program anymore. I'm better.
Yeah, I think maybe. Yeah, maybe we.
We just do it. You and
me. What would happen?
So many wonderful things. You would.
You'd be able to get the tube
out and. And you could go back to
school and you'd be eating everything delicious
in the whole world. I mean, wouldn't that
be great? You can do that?
Do what? Make me better.
I won't need the machine.
Well, I'm better than sex
I think maybe, you know, and if not,
then we'll just do it. You know,
you're better than you were.
And Dr. Spring's not the best of us.
Yeah. I'm really sorry,
but I'm not better. Please don't
be madder. Sad that he said that.
Hello? There's someone
here who wants to see you in
the lobby.
What?
Come down. Or don't.
Thanks for checking on me.
Oh, you would not believe
the day I had after you just
left me all alone, abandoned
in your spooky ass apartment
with my bones sticking out my legs.
Called you an. No big deal. What else
did you expect me to do? I
had to get back here to my kid.
Mother of the year. I
almost forgot. I don't.
And what exactly am I supposed to
do with ship breaker cocaine? Flush it.
Okay. It must be nice. Why
didn't I give you any crutches?
Them crutches is
you. You're here.
I hope it's okay. I. I
accidentally followed you this
one time and. You live
here. Are you. Are you
okay? I'm okay. Okay. Okay,
but where did you go? I just. I. I had
to get out of there. Okay,
I understand. So. So let's
do. Do you really, really understand?
I think so. No, this is. This.
This. This is a mistake. This
is. This is a mistake because I.
I thought. I thought that you
understood and then I wouldn't even
have. Let's calm down. I think
what we should do is get in a car
right now and go straight to the
emergency room. Hospital? Yes. Why?
Why? Because. Why? Why? Don't feel ready
to go home. What about
your daughter? My daughter?
Where is your daughter? She's upstairs.
She's sleeping. I don't want to
go to a hospital. I don't want to go
to a hospital. Just. I want
you to help me, Pam. To.
I'm trying to. No, you don't
understand. You don't see it all
their faces, Their little
faces. They look at
us and there is nothing
there. You need to calm down.
You need to calm down. No, I am
fine. Okay? I am fine. But breathe
with me, Caroline. Take
a breath. Just breathe with
me. To start with.
Caroline, Wait.
Caroline.
If this is an emergency,
hang up and call 91 1.
Otherwise call back during
normal business hours,
okay? Call me back. Call
me back tonight, okay? Please,
please, please, please just call me
back, okay? I need you. Bye.
It's It.
Mommy. Should you go
back to sleep? Everything's okay.
I told you. What? It's okay.
I made it better.
Sa it.
Hello?
Oh, why Are you here?
You okay? When did you get here?
Why are you here?
Where is she? She's asleep.
With the babysitter? Yes.
Look, I. I just. I couldn't
think. I. I couldn't function.
I. I couldn't do anything. All I was
doing was thinking about you and her
and the apartment, so I. I
had to come back. I was scared.
No, I wanted to help. Wait, wait. I, I.
What? You just gotta know
how to talk to this guy. That's fine.
Did you look at it? The
hole? Did you see it? Did you
see anything? Oh, yeah. No. Was not
fixed. Now it's fixed. Okay.
Okay. I think. I think we should
just. Let's just go. Just don't see how
it got so bad. How did it
get so bad? Are you trying to
blame me? No, I'm not blaming
you. I just. I just want to get
out of here. It just. It was
a huge. I want to get out of
Do you love me?
Yeah.
Wait, wait. What? What's the
rush? You were the one who was
in a rush to get back here.
Want to be here anymore?
We are here. All right, let's
relieve the babysitter. I'm exhausted.
I want to get to sleep. I'm excited
to see her, even if she's sleeping.
I know, but why don't you go downstairs
and get us some wine or something,
and I can relieve the sitter and then
come back. What's going on? What's going
on? There's something going on.
Open the door.
Me? I don't have a key.
Right, yeah. Okay.
Oh, God. Don't tell me you left
her here without. No, no, no, no,
no, no, no. I have a key.
Hey, I'm my dad. I'm Charles. Nice to
meet you. Must be the babysitter.
Babysitter, yeah. James, right?
Right. Jamie. Right. Well, thank you for.
Oh, hell no. I'm not doing this with
you, yo. Not doing what? What are
you talking about? Not a babysitter,
dude. Excuse me?
Your daughter woke up and was
crying, scared shitless. So I pounded
on the door till she finally
opened it. Had to tell her I was a
friend of your wife, bro. Took me
forever to get her to go to sleep.
And by the way, I have to give
her a band aid. She has some
oozing from. Okay, okay, hold on.
Listen. Who the hell are
you doing in my room?
Your room? Yeah. This is my
wife. That's my child. My room.
I just told you who I was,
and you need to ask your wife?
I got this. A cast on my leg. He's the
babysitter. He's not the babysitter.
He just told me he's not the babysitter.
Who the is he? Can we just go
inside? She can hear everything that you.
Why her machine is outside of her body in
this man. Hey. Hey.
Look at. Yes. Hi. Daddy's home. Oh,
my gosh. Look at you. You're beautiful.
Because Dr. Spring said
I do. Look, she was right.
Wes, what are you saying? Look, no tube.
The tube is garbage. Now
I can go back to school.
But, Daddy, I still don't
want to eat because
it's. What's going on?
Will you take me to the playground
tomorrow? What did you do?
What did you you do?
Sa Sam.
Promise I'll be