Inbred (2011) Movie Script

Alright, I had planned on taking
a walk around the garden
and showing you the lake.
Really Clive, I don't expect
you to control the weather.
- Still, we can make much of it.
- Indeed.
Let's just see
what's been prepared.
- Lemonade.
- Marvelous.
- Glass?
- Please.
You really are
quite beautiful, June.
And you really are
quite a charmer, Clive.
The lemons were freshly squeezed
this morning by by my staff.
- Really?
- Yes.
- Excuse me, Mr. Willis?
- Yes, Jack?
Can I get some of
your lemonade, please?
No, you certainly may not.
It's become improper, Jack.
Back to your chores.
Smart even,
I never knew this quite.
Is it also improper for me to stick
my cock in your good lady's mouth?
- Jack, have you gone mad?
- Yeah.
One sip, one sip, one sip.
- One sip of lemonade is all I wanted.
- Jack! No!
Lemon fucking-ade.
Could've been fine.
Stupid fucking bitch.
Oh, they should have
given him a lemonade, man.
Yeah, you noticed they go
the fucking madman with an axe.
Oh, wait and see
what he does with the bodies.
So fucked up.
Hey guys, guys, come on now, please.
What did I say about swearing?
That it's funny.
Just put the phone away.
Put the phone away, now.
Okay, well thanks.
Jeff, the SAT NAV is broken.
What's the matter with it?
It just says we are
completely off the map.
Could it be isn't it
updated or something?
How do you date it?
Plug it into a laptop.
Here, this is a trooper
map, Coordinance Survey.
And they never lie.
There you are, you see?
Right up the end of this road.
Carry on.
- Are we there yet, Jeff?
- No.
I don't know why you bother her?
She ain't going to talk.
She like a mute or something.
- Woah? What respect?
- No, no, it means she gonna talk.
Woah! Didn't know
you could talk, Tim.
Yeah! Cut it out man.
Giving me a headache back there.
We don't want your
life story, man. Alright!
- Ow! You fucking bitch!
- Well, what's going on, huh?
Calm down, please.
Hey, Tim ..
- Got any sexy pics on your phone?
- No, why?
Not? Well, you're a
bump behind there?
- Is he always such a prick?
- Yeah.
Oi Jeff, can we smoke?
I definitely need a smoke, mate.
- Oi Jeff. Are we there yet?
- No, twat, we're not fucking there yet!
- I think we're there, Jeff. Yeah.
- Further up the road, I think.
Trust... trust. Yeah.
Okay, further up. Keep going.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Why is it not on here?
"The Dirty Hole"?
That's charming.
Well, Mortlake is one of the
north's oldest coal towns.
I suspect the name
probably refers to mining.
You'll like that, yeah old Jeff?
The cottage should
be straight up here.
Well, it's been
certainly rustic, isn't it?
- Rustic?
- This gonna be shit.
- Did you see that?
- Yeah.
We have another ... another 200 yards.
First one to see it gets a prize.
Everybody out.
Come out and get some fresh air.
Wonderful, huh?
No, I'm away till Monday.
I called you not to tweet me.
Yeah. No, I can't decide.
Yeah, alright, so. Just that ...
- Dwight, phone please?
- What?
We haven't come all the way out
here to look at another way of life
so you can miss it just cos you're
chatting to late on the phone or
or viewing dirty pics, have we?
Hmm. Phone please.
No, I'm getting licked from some idiot.
Yeah, alright. Later.
Good lad. Okay.
Same applies to everybody.
Just put your phones in the bag,
so we can appreciate our environment.
- A fucking joke.
- Okay. Thank you.
- What are you thinking?
- What am I thinking?
Well, I think that I've stayed in
better squats than this, Jeff, really.
Don't judge a book
by it's cover, hmm.
- What's this?
- A poor house.
Shit cover. Shit book.
We need to locate
the fuse box, that's all.
Hmm. That's odd.
Are you worried?
Are you sure?
Come on.
Whoa! Get English thing, all right!
- What are you doing, Dwight? Stop it!
- Oh, come on. I'm fucking joking around.
- No, you're not joking. If you want you
can open the car all the way in and ...
- Stop it.
- Oh, what's it all about?
- She was joking.
- Dennis tried to poke ya?
- Alright, go on.
- Chaotic, it is.
Oh, come on guys. Cheer up.
We just got the old boiler going.
I know it's a little bit
ramshackled and a little bit dusty.
We are not here on holiday,
are we? This is the point.
Work together as a team.
Pull together, as one.
And we can start by clearing this
place up together. How about that?
Yeah, I'm not sleeping in this Jeff
mate, it's a fucking shithole.
Yeah, seriously.
Am I missing the tip?
Yeah, okay. I know it is a bit of a
shithole, guys, but we are in now.
So we better get
working together as a team.
And a good team that works
together hard, plays hard.
Get all cleaned up
and go down to the pub.
Yeah, can we wait outside.
Please, Kate, come.
Jeff, what is your problem?
I was just having a laugh.
Do you think it is wise
taking these kids to a pub?
I mean, some of them have had alcohol
issues. Now, Dwight would be a problem.
I wasn't going to get
them pissed in giving message.
I was just trying to motivate them and
have a bit of a laugh. Have a bit of fun.
Jeff, we are care-workers,
we're not their parents.
Why do you always
insist on alienating yourself?
- Alienate?
- Yes, alienate.
You think I'm
alienating people just
because I'm trying to
impose a few rules, huh?
See, there you go again. Rules.
Rules are meant to be broken.
These kids are heavy
because they bite rules, Jeff.
Why don't just chill out, have some
fun and call me about a slut like I did.
- Finished?
- Yeah. I'm finished actually. Thank you.
Look at this stuff. Like it's
been here for years. What is it?
We need this thing along.
Yeah, no I'm not walking down
to the door. Hey fuck that.
Think there's something
valuable in this one as well.
Valuable, you say?
- Yeah, I think so.
- Alright.
Thank you chief.
Yeah, well done, guys.
This is a very, very real achievement.
I think what this proves is that we,
we as a group from different
backgrounds with different...
- Come to a point!
- Thank you, Dwight.
From different backgrounds
with different problems,
when we work together as a group,
see we can really affect change.
Not really reflects well on
each and everyone of you.
You may not know, but what you learn to
do is turn your negatives into positives.
Let's go stay with you for the rest of
your lives. As you get older and storm ...
Alright. Come on
everyone. Cheer up.
Let's walk to the pub, can I see his
name. We've been driving all day.
- He's taking a piss.
- Less of the lip, Dwight.
- Find any of my craps in it, what it is?
- Your what?
- My craps.
- I told you to bring
some proper shoes, Zeb.
What do you mean proper? Do you
know proper? Can't get even in the UK.
- Hip?
- Put you in 20 crib, Kate.
They must have something
you can rob, man.
Yeah, agree.
I gave some girl an orgasm last night.
She only puff inside and out.
- Okay now. Go all out wood.
- What about it?
Well, if I set fire in it.
Go off in seconds, huh?
The dirty hole.
Until one, guys.
Come on. In we go.
That's it.
- Dwight, please behave, please.
- Yeah, yes I will.
Hi there.
- Good evening.
- Good evening.
You three, move. Get on to the back bar.
Give guests who might sit down.
- There you go.
- Thank you.
Thanks. Queen Pub.
I've had it called a few things
in my time, but that's a new one.
1582 these were built. Used to
be a stop-off road aye women.
These walls lives in Sumesides.
I bet they are.
Quite amazing.
Right, I'll get the menu, then.
Right, who wants to drink?
- One.
- Yeah, I'll have one of that, please.
- Two Cokes. Sam?
- Coke.
- Tim?
- Yeah, I'll have a coke. Thanks, Kate.
Now well, what are you up to?
Well, I could do with
some hot food, actually.
- Did you see the sign?
- Yes, yes, the hot food sign.
No. Sign says "not food", not "hot food".
- Not food either.
- Right.
- We don't get it for that crown.
- Umm.
We don't have fun delight
food. We got scrunchions.
Oh, yes. Well, two bags of
scrunchions then. Thank you.
- I'm starving.
- Well, I'm starving too.
- Well?
- Pub's special. Pork scrunchions.
I am afraid but there are two types.
Hairy and smelly.
- Jeff, that's not funny.
- It's alright, Kate. Go with the flow.
Plenty of food back at the cottage. Just
gonna have to head off just without me.
Uhm mm. So much for their reward, then.
- Fuck me! Look at that!
- How disgusting.
Home made there. Wife
makes soup. Specialty.
Yeah. Taste great.
So then, what can I
get you kids to drink?
Six cokes, please.
Don't sell coke, Miss. Not since...
Well, as long as I can remember.
- I can make you a lemonade.
- Fucking lemonade.
- Six lemonades then, please.
- Right. One minute. I'll make a batch now.
- Lovely, thank you.
- Thanks so much.
Lemon fucking-nade.
They are all wrong.
- Oh mate. You are great.
- Fucking denim.
Dwight ...
Here we are.
Nice and fresh.
Thank you. How much
do I owe you for that?
Oh no charge.
Hoops on the house.
Thank you very much.
That's very kind of you.
You are just passing through, eh?
No, we staying for the weekend. We are
doing our project with the kids, so ...
Nearest hostel and camping in Thirsk is
a good 40 mile away. My, don't go there.
No, we staying at Ravenswood
Cottage. Oop, you alright?
Don't panic.
It was empty.
Ravenswood? I didn't know
that folks staying over there.
It thought it's about
condemned, now spunk.
It was a bad of state
but we've tidied it all up.
Are you okay?
What is wrong with me tonight?
So, clean now, isn't it?
Yeah, it is actually.
It's quite cozy. It's nice.
Nice. Nice. Very nice.
Thank you.
Bit dusty. Cheers.
What the fuck was that, Jeff?
Here we go.
Here we go, tonight.
Okay, everybody,
I want to propose a toast.
To a lovely weekend
and a brilliant future.
Cheers, everyone.
- Are you alright?
- Yeah, I think he is slightly senile.
- It tastes like piss!
- Dwight...
Or ... there won't be tomorrow night.
The piss is pretty little bad.
Hey, hey, what are you doing?
Take it to the back, you dumb-head!
Go out laddie.
- Real lemon.
- Have you got a tissue?
Real lemons.
Guys, will you stop it.
Who are you?
You from city?
You're pretty.
What is your name?
Do you like carrots?
Where are you going?
- Boy! Get out! Go on. Out!
- What?
You are not a guests in here.
You alright, love?
He's harmless, really.
Don't get many new faces.
Excited, that's all.
He whatever, yeah,
he a lover not a fighter.
Good to hear.
Why, just a word
of warning, though.
There's someone around these parts
that care nought for strangers.
But just as long as you keep to yourselves,
everyone is very friendly, you know.
Just say you're friends of Jim
of Dirty Hole, they all know me.
- That's correct, thanks Jim.
- Thank you.
- Sam, are you okay?
- Alright. So?
The cottage we were staying in was a
working farm for people with problems.
Place where the troubled could
recuperate away from society.
They shut all these kind of
places down in the 1970s.
What kind of problems?
People with disability issues mostly.
They also took on the mentally ill.
- All under one roof.
- Really?
Yeah, very unPC now, I know,
but was the norm back then.
Hide the problem people away.
- That's terrible.
- Yeah.
Yeah, that's terrible.
So what's the biggest
thing you ever burned?
Uhh, my school.
Oh my God.
No, it was empty.
I didn't kill anyone or anything.
Why did you do it?
If you don't mind me asking?
No, it's cold that morning.
I was bored.
Fucking shit town.
Shit prospects.
Teachers who didn't give a toss.
I mean you sit there with all the other
kids ... all the fucking dickhead kids.
Like Dwight?
Yeah, exactly like Dwight.
I mean, sit there and
let them run the class.
No, I mean, no one learned anything.
The whole system was a fucking joke.
- So...
- Ka-boom.
Yeah, exactly. Ka-boom.
I burned the fucking system.
Did you sleep alright, darling?
- Want some sugar?
- Yeah, please.
I didn't fucking
touch your stuff, dude.
Fucking liar, Dwight.
I know you did.
- What's going on, boys?
Hey, I'm starving Kate.
What's for breakfast?
Tim, you okay?
I leave my things in order.
That's why I know you used them, right?
Twat didn't take his OCD
pills this morning, did he?
- Fuck you Dwight.
- Yeah!
What the fuck you
gonna do, you mug?
Now do you want some breakfast?
I want a sausage. See I like a
sausage. Do you have one in here?
Dude, are you talking about a sausage,
or are you talking about your cock?
I thought so.
- Morning, morning.
- Morning.
Half past seven, we ought to
get going. It is a beautiful day.
Oh, we're just having some
breakfast. So Joey Beans.
- Oh, I thought you'd be done by now.
- No, just chatting.
Health and safety, I'm afraid.
Well, if it's that,
I not wearing one of these.
It got me out look
like a fucking bin man.
- Here's a large one for you.
- A small, please.
- Thanks, Jeff.
- Tim! Catch! There you go.
Good. And one for me.
So, ETD ten minutes?
I Roger that.
- We'll be ready.
- Good. I'll be ... just great.
Come on. Don't struggle.
Early run. Let's get these
lights by to Milton Keynes.
- Absolutely beautiful.
- It depends.
- Man, how much further?
- Boring, ain't got food, does it?
Yeah, bro.
What do you do, huh?
Wait up!
- So, what are you doing here, anyway?
- What's it to you?
No, I was just saying.
- No, looking out for a boy.
- Using a gun?
Our boys are close you know.
Looking out for each other.
If someones having a gun at my
mate, I'm going to cap that fucker.
Trains! Halleluiah.
Nuso arivay. Come on!
Overcome one-selves. That's it.
Good luck.
Look at the graffiti on
that. It's really nice.
Oh yeah. How did they get
all these down here anyway?
One sweet thing.
- That's it.
- What thing is going to die?
Not really, it's recycling.
That's it.
It's a community service game
designed to generate funds
while it turns on central skills
needed for today's society.
To do what?
It just means astricting
anything of value that is left
and forking on basically.
- And why didn't you say that?
- Exactly.
Mind the nettles, Zeb.
- Tim, get out!
- Tim, out of there, please.
Zeb, come on.
Dwight, get the barrow.
Come on! Chomp, chomp!
Come on. Here you go. Here's a
ladder, right. Here's another one.
Right, there's a toolbox.
Okay, you got that?
- You see this?
- Right, it's Dwight's.
- Ooh, the wheelbarrow, Zeb!
- Be careful! Careful.
- Just wait for us!
- Maybe we should leave a note?
Yeah, well maybe someone
should be here to help us.
What, did you arrange for
somebody to come and help us?
Yeah, of course I arranged for
someone to come and help us.
Where are they?
I don't know.
Well, we can't take those
without telling someone.
Well, maybe we should give a note.
Copper, aluminum,
brass, zinc, solenoids.
You are amazed what
treasures we gonna ...
Yeah, but Jeff, how are we
supposed to know what is what?
Because I've got a checklist here and
I'm going to split into two teams.
Okay A-Team,
it's you, Sam, and me
and Zeb, Dwight
and Jeff in the B team.
The team to get the most
valuable material wins.
- Win what?
- Well there was no prize, Zeb.
- What's the point then?
- Prize is sense of achievement.
Okay, twenty quid the A team wins.
- Oh, come on, Jeffry.
What you waiting for?
Put your money, they
ain't gonna loose.
All right.
Why the bloody hell not?
You're on. High five.
Come on kid.
Listen guys, I just
wanted to say that
if you have anything to chat to me about
anything, I'm there you know , if not
we don't spend that
much time on our own, but,
yeah, I just wanted
you to know that.
It's not just about finding copper,
you know, this weekend,
it's about just
having a bit of fun, and ...
- Yeah. Cheers Kate.
- Yeah.
- Am I?
- You are ... beautiful.
Right. Well, kind of take a look
in there, so let's just start.
I don't know, I mean, I think
these are Mark IIIs, you know and
pretty sure the copper's back in
there. Nothing much is down there.
- Yeah, is copper good?
- Yeah, copper's worth much.
- Is it?
- Yeah.
Let's go on out there.
- What the fuck you think you're doing?
- Sorry, Jeff.
Now stop vandalizing and salvage!
There is a difference.
How are we going to find anything
we need? This is a shit hole.
Look at the place.
We're not actually going to
do it, that's what I want.
- Fuck that, man.
- Yeah.
Fuck it. Let's just fuck it up.
- Come on Zeb!
- Fuck it!
Come on, come on, come on!
Oh yeah.
Fuck it up, babe.
- Get up!
- Oh shit!
- Right. Which one first?
- Ehh, then I'll do this one, huh?
- It's a Mark II, and I think
these have got copper to it.
Okay, okay, how do
you know it's a Mark II?
- Well, it says there, isn't it?
- Right from there also have.
I do not know it.
- Is the lines okay?
- Yeah.
Chop! Chop!
Watch yourself on this, Tim.
Alright. Okay.
That was Jeff's twenty quid.
Are you alright? Go on. Are you
willing to pick up the toolbox, Kate?
Here you go.
- Yeah, yeah, I just gotta find cups.
- Okay.
What is that?
- Stink center.
- Come here.
Oh, wicked.
Knock it out.
Oh well, that is lead in there.
Fucking Jesus.
Hey, I got copper
cable for you there.
Hello? Who's there?
Guys! Guys!
Please, what are you thinking?
Chill out, please.
Just calm down.
You know, you can't just smash
things up all day long. alright.
I believe if you continue, I'll say
you screwed up the weekend.
There's a good
chance you'll go to jail.
Well , bull if Jeff's unit say that.
Well, you're right then.
I'll probably wouldn't.
Just toe the line, alright?
Yo, Sam. Come here.
- It wasn't me.
- I didn't say it was.
- Do not want to go find out what it is?
- Yeah.
What do you think it is?
The grass burns easy.
It's oil based. Come on!
- What is it?
- I don't know.
It's an animal!
Those sick bastards!
Sam, I'm going to free this one.
Come on, man.
It's alright. Come on, man.
Go ahead! Go ahead.
Go on kid.
- That's our sense of achievement.
- Yeah.
Oh fuck!
Hello pretty.
Time for one of your five a day.
Give it to me, girl.
Don't worry, girl.
We've got this for your boyfriend.
Let him go now.
Let him go.
- Tim! Get Jeff!
- Jeff!
What are you doing to us?
- What is going on?
- He was attacking Tim and Sam.
- Let me go, you fucking twat!
- Shut up!
Alright. Alright.
Let him go.
Can someone mind telling
me what's going on here?
These sick bastards. They ...
come in a manner of ...
It was assaulting Sam,
So I hit him with a spade.
He's smoking at me twice!
Hey you!
Be quiet!
Maybe he's only lacking ...
And he was burning
live animals as well.
- Burning animals?
- Yeah, they're all sick.
Those are my fucking tools.
Ask me how it must
have gotten there.
- Alright. They're your tools, huh.
- Hmm.
You have a ...
so you have them, alright.
There you go. We obey you.
We back off. Just go!
If you come any one of them kids again
with so much as a bloody runner bean ...
I swear to God
I will bloody do you.
She wants it all.
Take your tools and piss off
okay, and I'm warning you.
Ooh, my tools gonna be up her arse.
Right up to its brouts.
Get out! Go away. Go!
Fuck up you filthy bastards.
Go on. Get out!
Just get out!
Before I knock your fucking skull off!
Shit! Jeff! Are you okay?
Oh God.
It's okay, I'm fine.
Oh, Jesus!
It's alright. It's okay.
No, Zeb! Get us off the field!
We need phone an ambulance, Jeff.
Where's your phone?
They're at the house.
Timmy, give me a
tourniquet, a rope or a belt.
We can't give up. Quick!
That's right.
Hold the cut.
- It's okay, it's okay.
- Fuck!
We need some help!
Go and find something.
We need to take him down the hill.
Let me tell thee all,
the fate that did befall...
Hey by, hey by grown.
When outsiders came and
tried to stake a claim ...
Hey by, hey by grown.
Next thing got the note, they want to go...
Hey by, hey by go.
So we pulled down father's
jacks and chop off all his legs...
Somebody please call an ambulance!
Mr. Lockwood, please,
please call an ambulance!
Bloody nora.
Brendan, get this on. Get him in
the kitchen, put him on the table.
No, no we need a phone.
He needs an ambulance.
He's losing most of the blood, please.
Basically he's ...
It's all right love. Let's get him
comfortable till ambulance arrives.
That's a good forty miles of country
roads. It will be at least an hour.
We can't wait an hour.
He's lost too much blood.
That's how long it takes.
- Okay. Be careful with him.
- Tim, help me with his legs.
- Sorry mate.
- That's gonna teach us
- What happened?
- Those lads attacked us in there!
- What lads?
- It's locals. And the way he threw out.
- What did they do to want us threw out?
- It's only me and Sam, making two of us.
- They were burning animals.
- And they attacked you say?
- Fucking inbred cunts started it.
- Hey! But not all cunts from around here.
The man is dying, please!
Why don't we call the
police, don't you see?
- Yeah, Wilf's on the phone. Now!
- We need to clean it.
We need to take his trousers off.
Alright pal. I'll give you
something to ease the pain.
Give me that!
Hey! You dark bastard!
You ...fucking bastard.
Fucking ... bastard.
Don't give me that shit, what.
And then fuck it up Fridays.
I didn't do now.
Didn't do know.
The book, you fucking scoundrel.
What fucking not?
He did fell over. He got a
life in something on my own.
He ripped them down both.
You what?
He even scold Bathius.
- Then he tripped up and he cut himself.
- Huh, he fell over.
- It won't grace!
- Why didn't you say so?
Anyway, can't take them here.
Put the word out. About an early show.
Free admission. And then scrunchions.
Right. I want this place
spotless. Feed him to pigs.
- Ah, he must weigh a ton, Dad.
- Well, chop him up then!
- Fucking hot in here.
- Dwight, please.
- What the fuck did you do?
- Will you shut the fuck up, Dwight!
Oh, they burning animals, Ray.
They are, then set them free.
You fucking do gooders.
You know, you and your spark of
a girlfriend are fucked, you know that.
For fuck sake, Dwight!
We are all going to fucking die
if we don't stick together.
Do you understand me, eh?
Think of something! We've gotta get
out of here! They're gonna come back.
Ah, I think I can get us out of here.
Do you see something really sharp.
Anything. It's too thick.
It's gonna fit in the
lock. It's too thick.
- Tim
- What?
- Have you got anything?
- No! I fucking haven't.
Think then!
- I have a ...
- Perfect. That's perfect.
- Come on!
- Be patient.
- Come on, hurry!
- Calm down.
- Look at me. I'll ...
- I'll poke a giant if you want!
- Okay calm down, it's okay.
- Come on!
Come on.
Well, that's a lot ladies.
- Let's say it's their ...
- Any one want this?
I hear there's a show tonight.
Can I come?
- Don't know. Can't hear you, Ron.
- Will you ask your dad?
- I'll ask. No promises.
- Okay you do that. I might see you later.
Excuse me. Come on Turkish.
We're going to a show.
Look what he did.
Which one?
Please, we don't understand why
you're doing this. What's going on?
What the fuck is happening?
We have not done anything.
- Alright, love, alright.
- Please let us just go.
- I don't understand!
- Just shut your fucking cake hole!
Or do you want to be next? Is
that it? What do you reckon, son?
- No, save her for a bit. She is ...
- No. Stop.
Fuck off!
Whatever you want with us, please leave
us alone, please. Please leave us alone.
Let me go, I say.
Open this fucking door!
Hurry up.
Get him over to the barn.
Help! Someone.
Somebody come help me, please!
Get off me please!
Let me go!
What are you doing?
Damn it!
Get off me!
I swear, I won't...
How you guys doing?
What's he doing?
You're crazy fuck!
Your father, he was best.
He knew how to put on a show.
Put real pizazz into it.
Please, let me go. I won't
tell anyone. Just let me go.
What is wrong with you?
The laughter. And dancing.
I do a good job.
Too messy.
Talking of you bastard.
Jesus. Why don't you let me go?
You fucking ugly bastard!
Watts, you can go.
What you gonna do?
What are you doing?
I'm going to make you famous, lad.
What's wrong with you?
Fucking mad!
I need help. Help!
Let me tell you all
when I wake up this ...
Day by, bygone
Went outside his king and
started to stake a claim
Day by, bygone.
Pulled down father's pants,
and chopped off both his legs...
Open this fucking door!
Oh fuck. Fuck!
Oh man!
What do you want me doing?
What the fuck is going on?
And took his gutsy wife
and buried her alive...
Day by, day bygone.
Get my shirt ready for the second show.
This one will be covered in shit.
Day by day bygone.
Oh, you beautiful, beautiful
people. Except for you.
It's not your face or
your neck just grown up?
Only joking.
No, but seriously folks, it's great to
be back with all the familiar faces.
And exciting news.
A little birdie tells me we've
got shows lined up all week.
Same time, same place,
etcetera, etcetera.
So, without further ado,
on with the show.
Leave me alone, please!
You see up in the nose.
Let's see what can fit up there.
- Bastard!
- Calm down, please Tim.
- I can't.
- It's not gonna fucking work, mate.
And it's worth a try, yeah.
It's worth a try, mate.
Oh, fuck out of here.
- Don't shout, please!
- We gonna get the fuck out of here, Kate!
Do you like that?
Thank you very much.
Nearly got it.
Come on. Come on.
Come on!
One for you.
And one for me.
One for you.
And one for me.
- Hello Wilf.
- Hey Ron.
I hear there is a show on today.
I bet it's a good crowd?
Ahh, just a few.
Don't be enough room for
one more, would there?
Sorry, Ron.
Jim said, they don't take
to your fucking little rat
after what happened the last time.
It won't happen again.
I've left the little fella at home.
Don't take this personally, Ron.
Now, fuck off.
- Fork best there?
- The best.
- Maybe next time.
- Maybe next time.
One for you.
And one for me.
Shut up. Okay,
don't say anything.
The door is open now.
Wait now. Wait there.
Well, what is there for all
of you to see about, eh, eh?
Now don't go away, because we've got
a bonus attraction coming over next.
The house special.
Right after this intermission.
We've been expecting
requests. So don't be shy.
Hey, get another one now.
Get the shit brother and
get that bookey off your head.
Hey, you!
Come on, what you waiting for!
- Dwight!
- Dwight!
Move! Run!
What the fuck!
Dwight! Come on!
Stay the fuck down!
Come here you bastard!
Fuck it! Go!
Come in.
Kate! Come on.
Stop it!
Come here little girl.
Come to Wilsie.
Kate, come on!
Go to hell!
- Where did they go?
- They took the hook road.
- Don't get stabbed next.
- What?
- Don't worry about that.
Taste that.
Get that shit to me father now.
I clean up.
Go get the others, piss.
Bring 'em back.
We gonna fucking eat well tonight.
Keep coming! Come on!
- Stop!
- Come on!
Come on, we gotta
get back to the cottage.
Are you okay?
- Watch you step.
- Yeah.
- Come on!
Come on, Cole. It's about
timing in that light next.
Get the wig on him.
Aunt Sally.
You ready?
Away then.
Gentlemen, ladies, and Angus.
You have had your first course, but that
was shite compared to the main attraction.
I give you the not quite
right, most dishonourable ...
... Fisher and his
astounding dirty vessels.
- I haven't got the keys.
- Huh?
- I haven't got the keys.
- Then bring me some other keys.
I'm fucking not giving the bag.
I haven't got the keys.
- Which means it's inside the fucking bag.
- It's not my fault.
Oh my God!
Shut up Sam, for fuck sake!
- What we gonna do?
- We're fucked!
Open the door!
- Come on, Tim. Come on.
- I'm trying!
- Hurry up!
- Run!
Come on! Come on!
- Come on.
- Fuck it here, Tim.
Oh my God!
- Oh fuck!
- Stay down!
Dirty! Dirty! ....
Dirty! Dirty, dirty, ...
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen.
Welcome to a special show
that is ultimately dirty.
But first, a little word
about health and safety.
You've all got your goggles. I want you
all to put them on now like your eyes.
That's good.
Let's crack 'em, baby, shall we?
Let's see if the
old girl still works.
Right then. Who wants this
hookah, man? You or your mule?
What about you, sir?
This hook you?
Ooh, did someone
do a rotten today?
What is there lallu?
Stick you over the arse?
Ooh, you're dirty, aren't ya.
Alright ya?
Say "aye" dirty girl.
- Heh. Who wants this up them ass?
- He wants!
- Who dude?
- He wants!
- Who dude?
- He wants.
This pretty young
fella here then, ah!
Your fucking animals!
Fuck you! You cunts!
- Well, you've got a dirty mouth, eh?
- Fuck you!
- Oh, I'll soon sort you out.
- Fuck you!
Come on, maybe out of your seats.
We don't want no
more trouble now, do we?
Stop it!
Oh, I can smell ya.
Now, won't we?
I warning you!
You'll be in shit like your
main partner. Now come on out!
I'll be having ya. I swear.
I'll be having ya.
Oh booger!
Get out, push him off!
Oh fuck!
Oh Jesus!
- It's fucking stuck.
- Alright, going 1, 2, 3. Push!
Come on. Quick!
- Where is he then?
- Who?
Who! You lumpy stupid, Gris.
Where is he?
He went after the others.
Don't worry, he's got his gun, though.
Going after who?
Outsiders. When they got
away and went off beyond.
For fuck sake,
why didn't you tell me?
He didn't want to stop the show.
But he's got his gun, though.
- Fucking, cracking powder. It must be ...
- Fuck off!
Sue me, Jim!
Hell! Wren, get moving your
udder, give him your Podge.
- There is nobody there.
- Right. We've got work to do, lads.
They won't get far.
Twenty traps laid around these parts.
- They won't leave.
- They never do.
Hey! Where the fuck are we going?
- We're going back to the cottage.
- No! We're not going back.
There's nothing else we can do, Sam.
We've got to go back.
Kate, I'm sorry.
But I just meant to.
Well, maybe that's
what they'll think.
We need the maps and we need the phones.
We need to tell someone where we are.
Can you just get us
out of here, please?
Sam, that's what
I'm trying to do.
Come on!
Alright, listen to me.
We need to be quick.
We need to look for
the phones and the map.
They are in here somewhere.
I don't know where Jeff put them.
I need to look everywhere, okay.
I'm going to check all the stairs.
Look, Sam here, you can ...
I'm gonna check the kitchen, okay?
Where are all the phones, Jeff?
Got the maps,
did you find the phones?
They're not in any, Kate. We looked
everywhere. What's in that room?
That room's have been fucking
locked since we got here, Tim!
They are here.
I know they're in because Jeff put
them in a bag and hid them somewhere.
Now we're not looking properly.
- Did you try the dining room?
- Just long in that.
Well, let's look again, shall we!
Fuck it!
- I can't find anything!
- Kate! We're scared!
We can't be able to get
caught like the others, do we?
I'm scared, Tim!
I'm scared, scared, scared!
We need to phone the police, we
need to tell somebody that we're here.
They're coming for us.
They've got guns.
Otherwise, we're dead.
Do you understand?
Why don't we just go now?
Kate, please. We've got the maps.
Listen. I'm going to
check outside in the barn.
You need to look at the
map and see where we are.
I'll be back in a
second and join the family.
Good evening.
I reckon my first blood lads.
Yeah. And it
will be fi fy if I go.
Well, next we've got the north,
they said they want to go...
Fi fy if I go.
They pulled down father's checks,
and chopped off all his legs...
Fi fy if I go.
They took his dirty wife,
and buried her alive...
Fi fy if I go.
They took all dirty kids,
and fed them to the pigs ...
Fi fy if I go.
Kate, we need more bullets.
- Where are they?
- They're in there.
Ron, we need
ammunition up here, now.
- Here you are, Jim.
- Swap with him.
Rats, with me, now.
- Alright go on.
- What?
- I'll get you half a dozen pints in.
- Alright!
Go on, lad.
- Oh! That looks painful.
- No, please.
Fuck you!
Jim, help me.
Let if out.
You got us by our knockers.
What are you gonna do now, eh?
There's a lot of us. For miles around.
Not many of you, not around here.
You won't make a blime if you
ever give a pull that trigger.
He won't miss him if you blow him off.
Quiet dope.
Why waste your rounds
on tittlers like him?
When you could be bugging where
have him beauties like me, eh?
That's good.
I need you to stay still, Sam.
Be still, be still.
- It's gonna be alright. Come on.
- How many more?
Keep one.
That's it!
That's all.
- Thank you.
- That's alright.
You're okay.
It's okay.
It's alright.
I know.
- Look after him. What a way to go.
- I'll bet.
Poor old Rats. Quickest too short
lungs suffered down in records.
Hey! Come on, you dirty bastards!
Come on!
- 5 along 40 yards.
- Come on!
10 on 50.
- Right, play on.
- Come on, you fuckers!
Come on!
Come on.
Oh fuck!
Well, you jummy bastard. 1 leg
another 15 yards. Double or nought.
- 1 leg?
- Right.
- You, are you alright, are you?
- Oh yeah Podge, it's that last break.
- What if she loses?
- Leg. Only one mine.
Let's get it over.
Come on.
It's alright.
You're okay.
No! Stop!
Glad you're on, Podge.
- You might know what I told ya.
- Yeah, she's proper feisty that one.
There she goes.
Come on, lass.
- What are they doing?
- I don't know.
I'm leaving with a
golden bullet left here.
I'm going to try that other room.
Stay and keep watch, okay.
It's going to be alright.
Sam! There is a staircase down
here, leading down to the cellar.
But I'm going to check it out alright.
Stay there and keep watch.
Dear Lord, who art
in heaven, and hell.
You had their momma worried.
He was right little shit hole, man bull.
Deep down he was a good man.
Loved his greens.
All they said these vegetables.
You remember the day .... cheesenuts.
Being bowl of broccoli no butter ...
You are my son.
Sam. There's answers.
These fucking galleys are booze and vodka.
Look, the point I'm getting at is,
I'll call
It's the fire exits.
I got privity here.
Look. We don't want
any more trouble okay?
Nor I. Prove it.
Greg, come over here.
You all right?
I'm pretty good.
It's safe, Jim.
- You found it.
- Away, lads. It'll be alright.
They are down here.
Greg, on with you.
What the bloody hell has
been going on down here?
Stay there. No closer.
Don't you dare fucking move!
Careful, son. A lot of broken
glass. You'll cut yourself.
Put your weapons down.
Been having a bit of a
shindig down here, don't ya?
Not me.
The party just beginning.
Now put your weapons down.
Podge, put it down.
Put it down.
I know what you all are thinking.
Would I kill myself?
I don't know.
Would you?
You know how they gamble?
Well, we lost a
little bit shape lately.
Yeah? But its about to
get more fucking worse.
Time to turn on the heat.
- Oh fuck!
- You're cold lad?
I don't understand me.
Alcohol should burn.
No. No, no. That's
watered down piss, lad.
Wouldn't give it to me
missus, God rest her soul.
We make a good brew bucket
in the mill up there. Ain't it a treat.
Come on!
Get on, Podge.
Come on son, let's
get this sorted out.
Fuck you!
Fuck you, cunt!
No! No!
No! Please!
- What are the odds?
- The trap's favourite. Evens.
Pit 3 to 1.
Tripwire, 7 to 1.
My mine's outsider.
15 to 1.
- 10 on land mine.
- You throwing it away again, Jim.
No! No!
Fucking bugger.
About the time me luck changed.
- Oh well. A pint?
- Alright!
Let me tell thee all,
the fate that did befall...
Fi fy fi fy go.
When outsiders came
and tried to stake a claim ...
Fi fy fi fy go.