Induced (2022) Movie Script
1
(intense music)
(Carmen groaning)
(tense music)
(Carmen breathing heavily)
(door banging)
(Carmen screams)
(somber music)
- Come on.
Take your time, take your time.
You good? - Thanks, babe.
- You're welcome.
(car door shuts)
So what you think?
- Oh my gosh, baby.
This is so beautiful.
I can't believe you've been holding this out from me.
(James chuckles)
Now why haven't we been here before?
- You know, my people, they hardly get outta here.
I finally convinced them
to give us the spot for the weekend.
It's pretty big, isn't it?
- Yes, it is, it looks huge.
- Mm-hmm.
- I can see why they don't leave.
I'm sure the inside is just as beautiful as the outside.
- Yeah, just like you.
(both laughing)
But yeah, we got this whole place
to ourself the whole weekend.
Let's enjoy this last weekend kidless.
You sure this whole water birth thing is all right?
- Of course, baby.
Why wouldn't it be?
It's what I've always dreamed of,
naturally bringing our baby into this world.
I will be fine.
You will be fine.
We will be fine.
- All right. - Trust me.
- I trust you.
But look, I want you to go ahead and go inside the house,
and I'll get the bags.
Take a load off.
- All right. - Yeah.
- I'll see you in there.
- All right, you good?
- [Carmen] Yes.
- All right.
- Just enjoying the beautiful view.
- All right.
(Carmen giggles)
(suspenseful music)
(trunk opening)
(bug buzzing)
(suspenseful music continues)
(door shutting)
- No help?
- (laughs) Don't you see me over here cooking a whole baby?
Drop them bags right there.
Come have a seat.
- Girl, you're something else.
- [Carmen] (laughs) I know.
- I need this.
Man, I ain't been here in years.
Still look the same.
- Are you ready?
- Ready for what?
- To baste the turkey.
(laughs) To become parents, James.
- Of course I'm ready.
Why wouldn't I be ready?
- I mean, it's our first rodeo.
Our first child, (sentimental music)
something we have zero experience with.
- Every parent who had their first child
had zero experience.
- See, I knew we should've gotten a dog first.
- Dogs shit and pee everywhere anyway.
- And babies don't? - Oh my goodness.
- See, you the first one on diaper duty.
- Oh no, I'm not. - Mm-hmm.
- Oh my goodness.
(Carmen exhales)
- Look, this is a big step for us.
This is gonna change our life forever.
- Carmen, I need you to stop worrying, okay?
Look, we got each other,
but can we please just enjoy our time together?
- Okay.
- Okay? - Yeah.
(kissing)
Okay, you go ahead and put the things upstairs
with your fine self,
and I'll come help in a minute or two, or three.
Probably not. (laughs)
- [James] You do look good while you're cooking.
- Yeah?
And this the only thing I'm gonna be cooking, too.
- [James] What?
- I didn't stutter.
- [James] You lucky I love you.
- [Carmen] Correction, you're lucky I love you.
(sentimental music continues)
- Breathe out. (Carmen exhales)
There you go.
Breathe in. (Carmen inhales)
Breathe out. (Carmen exhales)
Just like we worked on in class.
Again, in. (Carmen inhales)
Out. (Carmen exhales)
There you go.
Again, breath in. (Carmen breathes heavily)
- Okay, that's it, baby.
Look, I'm done.
- Done?
You've only been going for like five minutes.
- Easy for you to say.
It's like five minutes for you,
but it's more like five damn hours for me.
Shit, it's hot.
- Here, here, here, here.
- I'm tired. - It's all right.
It's all right.
We're gonna get up on three, okay?
- Okay.
- One, two, three.
- Oh.
- Now, are you hungry?
- Baby, when are we never not hungry?
- That is true.
Y'all can eat. (Carmen giggles)
Tell me what you want.
- We can go for a light snack,
maybe a yogurt or something.
- All right, coming right up.
- Oh, baby, can you add some honey?
- Okay. - Then add some sprinkles,
and then top it with some grapes.
- Oh my-
- Oh, and then put a pickle on the side.
- Oh my gosh, them pregnancy cravings kicking in.
That'll be disgusting.
- [Carmen] Whatever.
Don't judge me and your baby. - Whatever.
- Look, I'm about to go take a bath and soak, okay?
And get out these sweaty clothes.
- You want me to join?
- Mm, maybe. - Okay.
- Uh-uh.
Slow down.
The shower's the reason
why we're in this position in the first place.
- That is true.
You lucky it ain't twins.
- (laughs) It might as well be.
You see how big I am.
- Grape, and doggone sprinkles,
with a pickle on the side is coming up.
But please don't take forever in the day.
You know we got Phillip and Gisele coming
and we gotta still cook dinner.
- Mm-mm.
I told you I wasn't cooking anymore, remember?
You take care of that, sweetheart, okay?
Like you took care of this.
- Mm.
You know I'ma take care of that, for sure.
Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby, I can see your halo
I know you're my saving grace
You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby, I can see your halo
I pray it won't fade away
Mommy loves you.
(upbeat music)
(laughing)
- [Phillip] Oh, man.
- Girl, I can't see why you can eat that nasty ice cream.
- Girl, whatever.
This ice cream is the bomb.
Here you go.
- Get that shit away from me.
You know I can't eat that.
- Why not?
- I'm allergic to nuts.
- (laughs) No you're not.
Oh, come on.
Really? - Uh.
Look, girl, I'm sorry, I forgot.
But James, this cabin is just so nice.
It's beautiful.
- Thank you, thank you.
- Man, we got some good memories up in here, man.
Oh, man, remember the time we brought them twins up in here?
Yeah, and we was teaching them how to play double dutch.
Yeah, hopscotch.
You know, just fun PG things.
- Yeah, we definitely had a lot of memories in here
when we was young.
- Mm-hmm. - Mm.
- For sure. - Mm-hmm.
- Nothing like that.
- James told me all them stories
about y'all up in here acting a fool.
- Oh.
Acting a fool, huh? - Mm-hmm.
- Babe, we was reading books.
You see that shelf right there full of books?
- All of them, for sure. - We read 'em.
- Mm-hmm. - Yep, that was us.
- [Gisele] Mm-hmm, I'm sure you were.
- Damn.
- Y'all two are crazy for each other. (laughs)
Just perfect.
- Hey, like two peas in a damn pod.
I've been trying to tell her for years.
She ain't listening to me.
Maybe you can bring some sense into her.
- Ah.
So, you two, are y'all ready for the weekend?
- Yeah. - I'm not.
But this one right here is always ready for everything.
- Yeah, we finally having our first child.
- Aww. - Yeah, your son.
Talk about right there. - Of course.
- That's what I'm talking about.
- You already know.
- (sighs) I'm just ready for this to be over,
you know, getting back to working on my body
and getting back to work.
- Oh, I thought we already talked about this.
You're not going back to work.
- No, we haven't fully discussed anything yet.
You mentioned it once
and then I didn't even have a chance to respond to it.
- No, you said you would give it a chance.
Look, I'm not trying to have the mother of my first child
rushing back to work.
I make enough money for all three of us.
- Us too. (laughs)
He a professional.
Hey, okay, have you at least picked a name for the baby yet?
- No, not yet.
We're gonna decide on the name
once we see the little angel's face.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Aww, y'all, that's so sweet.
(Phillip chuckling)
- Oh, man.
What?
What you looking at me for?
- When are we gonna start having our own kids?
- (laughs) The devil is alive.
Oh.
Soon, babe, all right?
I mean, come on, man.
Look, there's nothing else I want more in this word
than a bunch of bad-ass kids running around
tearing up my shit.
- Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
So anyways, how are y'all gonna do this whole
natural birth thing?
Because I know when it's my turn, straight epidural.
Come on, give it to me and knock my ass out, for real.
- She ain't playing.
I can see it, you know what I'm saying?
She don't need to be pregnant for it.
- Mm-mm. - Stop.
- No, we've actually decided
to use the assistance of a midwife.
- Yeah. - Excuse me, a what?
- Midwife.
They specialize in water births.
- That's a thing?
- Yeah, she's something like a natural birth coach.
- Yeah.
- A natural what what?
Okay, that sounds a little crazy to me.
- Why?
Why's that sound crazy? - Yeah.
- I mean, I don't know,
you got this strange person who you don't know
coming over to y'all place and helping you
and assisting with the birth of your own baby?
- Yeah, I think that's kinda wild, you know what I'm saying?
I mean, and what if she's crazy?
- Mm-hmm. - Deranged.
- Mm.
Oh, oh, or psycho. - Hmm.
- Now come on, y'all know we be watching them movies
where they them crazy women
who always trying to take another woman baby.
- Yep, all the time. - Mm-mm.
Girl, do not wish that on us.
- I'm not. - That's just the movies.
It's not crazy. - At all.
It's really not.
It's actually pretty normal, you know?
We interviewed with dozens of midwives.
- Yeah. - It's a job.
- Oh, y'all did?
So did y'all do phone interviews or these were in person?
- By phone. - Yeah.
- Someone from my lamaze class
suggested a service that we can use,
and the midwife that we've selected is highly regarded.
- Okay.
- Really?
I thought you were supposed to meet your midwife
way before the birth of the baby,
not a couple days before the birth?
- I mean, you are, and we did.
- Yeah.
- It's just, she stopped coming.
So we used the service to get an immediate replacement.
- Hold up, y'all, I'm sorry.
I gotta stop y'all right there.
So she just stopped showing up?
Y'all don't think that's kinda weird?
So, when are you gonna meet the new one?
- Tomorrow, actually.
She lives pretty far out,
so we had to come here.
We didn't want a chance of missing the child's birth.
- Yeah, she's actually staying with us.
- (laughs) And whose dumbass idea was that?
(Gisele laughs)
- Mine, with your big bald ass.
- [Phillip] Okay, okay.
- See, mm-mm, that's how it starts.
- Yup, they don't know.
- Look, do y'all want us to come?
'Cause we don't mind.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.
(laughs) No.
We?
You know, we can't.
You know, we got plans.
Yeah, with um, uh, whatchamacallit?
Whatchamacallit
- What plans?
- With somebody else.
Babe, you don't remember them plans?
We can't stay here.
- Oh!
Those plans. - Yeah.
Yeah, that one.
I wish I could stay.
- They were canceled. - Yeah...
Huh?
- So, do y'all want us to be here?
- No, no. - Yes, of course, Gisele.
Why wouldn't we want the godparents of our baby to be here?
- [Phillip And Gisele] Godparents?
- Yeah. - Oh snap! (laughs)
- We about to be godparents? - We gon' be godparents.
- Babe, we gon' be...
I'ma be a goddad.
- Yeah, yeah.
- (laughs) I can't believe it, babe.
Wait a minute.
Baby getting emotional, I see it.
- Yeah, you know I am. - I know it.
You know I gotta go buy some stuff now.
- Yes. - All right, listen,
first of all, we gotta get a crib.
- Okay. - Gotta get a crib, right?
And then get a baseball bat and glove.
- Okay. - Wait, wait, wait.
He gon' be a basketball player.
- [Phillip And Gisele] Ballin'!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, no, no, football.
We actually gotta get the helmet
and stuff like that.
And then he gon' grow up.
You know I always wanted to be a dad.
- Yes. - Negro,
I am that baby's father.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's cool too.
Listen, there's levels to this baby stuff.
- Levels. - Right?
You're just the regular daddy,
and I'm the goddad.
I mean, hence the word.
God.
You know what I'm saying?
It don't get no bigger than that.
- Uh-uh, baby. - I'm going outside.
- You know what I'm saying?
It don't get no bigger than that.
- I'm going outside. - You know what?
He gon' be a basketball player.
He gon' hoop.
I'ma show him how to do it, too.
You know it.
I'ma do you like I do...
Man, come on, man.
- [James] How you know he a boy anyway?
- How he gon' keep doing that?
- Come on, man- - Girl, they crazy.
- No, both of y'all are crazy.
- So, I know you didn't wanna say anything to anybody,
but do you know what y'all having?
- Yes.
It's gonna be a baby boy.
- Oh, yay! (clapping)
Congratulations.
So, what y'all gonna name him?
- Okay, so I'm thinking James Kobe Derrell Smith. (laughs)
- Kobe?
- Yeah, girl.
That's James' favorite basketball player.
- I thought James played baseball?
- Yeah, he does. - Oh.
Okay, well Kobe is good, girl.
Hey, if y'all like it, I love it.
Okay, Kobe.
Kobe was a good player.
That's cool.
So what time do you need us to be here?
- Let's say 5:30. - Okay.
- Actually, no, 4:30.
Just come as soon as you can.
- I mean, well that's perfect.
We'll be here. - Okay.
- So, how's everything been going with counseling?
Has he been able to repair y'all's marriage?
- You know, it went well.
And I'm just glad that we got through it.
So now we can focus on healing and being a family.
- And you think you can forgive him?
(Carmen sighs)
- We all make mistakes.
And I'm just focusing on moving forward.
- Okay, girl.
I'll toast to that.
- Clink, clink. - Oh, no, no, no, no.
You know it's bad luck to not toast with alcohol, right?
- Under these circumstances, I think it's fine.
- I guess you get a pass. (Carmen laughs)
Congratulations. - Thank you.
(slow music)
Mm. (laughs)
Yo.
- My goodness.
That was crazy.
- What was crazy, baby?
- This man Phillip was trying to convince me
on what to name our child.
- Oh my god. - No, for real.
He came up with names like LeBron, Usher.
- What? - Goku.
(Carmen laughs)
- But what if it's a girl?
- Oh, he had names for that too.
Serena, Rihanna.
Oh, he even said Megan, but not just Megan,
Megan Thee Stallion. (Carmen laughs)
I spent the last 30 minutes
trying to convince him to shut the hell up.
- Well, that's your crazy homeboy Phillip.
- Yeah, I love him though.
- Oh. - What's wrong?
What's wrong?
- The baby just kicked the shit out of me.
- For real? Let me see.
- Oh.
- That's a kick. - You feel it?
- Wait, is it a boy?
- Mm-mm-mm.
- No, for real, is it a boy?
- Baby, seriously, I don't know.
- Mm-hmm.
(Carmen laughs)
- Okay, look, I'm about to go take a shower
and get in the bed.
Are you gonna do the dishes?
- Yeah, with you included
- Oh.
Okay.
No.
The baby's about to come in a few days.
- No, for real.
I heard, I mean, I read in a book
that it actually helps with the pushing.
- Oh, it helps with the pushing.
- Yeah, it's actually good for the both of us.
- Okay.
Well, you hurry up so we can get to pushing. (laughs)
Or I'ma be asleep.
All right, chop chop.
(dishes clanking)
(slow music continues)
(suspenseful music)
- I can't wait to meet you come, my love.
(Carmen breathing heavily)
James?
- Baby, what's wrong?
It's like three in the morning.
This is nice.
- I'll be back.
- Where you going?
- To get some ice cream.
- All right.
Come on.
(Carmen sighs)
There you go.
I love you.
- I love you too.
(phone keyboard clacking)
(suspenseful music)
(bright music)
(suspenseful music)
(bright music)
(bright music)
- Hey, baby.
- Good morning.
James?
James?
Hello?
James? - Sorry, baby.
Sorry.
It's all right.
Food good, ain't it?
- So who were you on the phone with outside?
It sounded like y'all were arguing about something.
- Yeah, that was...
That was just Phillip.
- Phillip.
- Yes, Phillip.
(tapping)
- James.
I love you, but I can't go through this again.
- Go through what again?
(fork clatters)
- The lies, the cheating, the random phone calls.
I can't do it!
- Carmen.
We already went through this.
We went to counseling for this.
Look, I made a mistake, all right?
But I'm here now.
- So if I was to ask to look at your phone?
Well, what did Phillip want?
- You know Phillip.
Said he got ideas for the baby name and all that.
Enough about all that, though.
Let's get back to this food before it get cold.
- Now that was real good, baby.
I see you getting better.
- Mm-hmm.
YouTube links finally paying off.
Shoot. (chuckles)
I ain't as good as you yet, but I'm getting there.
- Oh, so we gon' have to have a cook-off.
- Shoot, maybe. (phone chimes)
Look, I'm about to go take a shower real quick, all right?
I'll be right back.
- Okay.
(water splashing)
(suspenseful music)
(door creaking)
- You know I'd never hurt you again, right?
Look, we were going through a rough patch
and I messed up big time.
But Carmen, you mean everything to me.
You're bringing our child into this world.
(bright music)
I'll never hurt you again, ever.
- Okay, baby.
- Do you believe me?
- I believe you.
- Do you love me?
- Do you love me?
- I do.
- [Carmen] I love you too.
(kissing)
- No, no, take your time.
(door shutting)
(birds chirping)
(car door shutting)
- James?
James.
James!
Oh my gosh, baby.
What is it?
- [James] I don't know, let's find out.
- Okay. - All right?
(paper crinkling)
So what you think, baby?
- Baby, I love it.
(both laughing)
So when did you buy it?
- I didn't.
- Wait, so did Gisele and Phillip get it?
- No, it's from the midwife.
Woke up this morning,
found that box outside and this attached to it.
- The midwife? - Yeah.
- "Congratulations to the future mom and dad."
- Mm-hmm.
- But baby, how did she get our address?
We haven't given it to her yet.
- You're asking too many questions.
It's free.
You know how expensive these are.
- You're so damn cheap.
- You know it.
(Carmen sighs)
(upbeat music)
All right, I know you got one.
You got an eight?
- Damn.
- Yeah.
Okay.
- That's the last match you getting.
- Yeah, yeah.
I'm coming back.
- Okay.
You got a three?
- Nope.
- You lying. - Go fish.
- (laughs) Another match.
- All right, you got a six?
- No.
Dive in.
- Fine.
- Baby, how much longer on the food?
- About an hour.
- An hour?
What time did you start cooking?
- About an hour. - Oh my gosh.
(ominous music)
- I really did have a three, too.
- I'm about to go pee. (laughs)
- Probably 'cause you know you about to lose.
(tapping)
She got us.
She...
Man, you gotta have one of these cards.
A two.
(knocking on door) (suspenseful music)
- Is everything okay, baby?
- Yeah.
Thought I heard something.
Probably just a deer.
Go ahead, go back in the house.
- You sure?
- Positive.
- Look, go find us something to watch.
I'll be in in a minute, all right?
- Okay, 'cause you know I got your back.
- I know.
(box clatters)
(Carmen groaning)
What's wrong?
What's wrong, baby?
- I don't know.
- Breathe in and out.
Just breathe in and out.
Should I call the midwife?
Is it time?
- I don't think so.
(Carmen inhaling)
- What's that smell?
- Sorry.
- Oh, that is just foul. (Carmen laughs)
Oh my goodness.
- What?
It wasn't me, it was the baby.
- You can't blame everything on the baby.
- And why can't I?
- Oh my goodness.
You nasty.
- Can you do us a favor?
- What's that?
- ice cream.
We need more ice cream.
- My kid needs some more ice cream?
- Mm-hmm.
- What flavor?
Vanilla, strawberry, chocolate?
- Cookies and cream. - Cookies and cream, huh?
- Mm-hmm.
- Let me see.
Is that what you want?
Some cookies and cream?
Huh?
All right.
Cookies and cream it is, then.
But babe, you do know that the closest store
is like, 20 minutes away.
- Yeah, I know.
But we really need some cookies and cream ice cream.
- Oh my god.
All right, well I'll go get the keys.
Look, keep your phone on you, all right?
Call me if you need anything.
I mean anything, all right? - Okay.
- All right. - All right.
- All right.
- Don't get a speeding ticket.
(slow music)
Ooh
(Carmen groaning)
Ooh
Ooh, ooh
Ooh
- James?
Ooh
- James?
James, are you here?
Ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh
- [James] Hey, this is James.
Sorry I couldn't get to the phone.
Please leave your name and number-
- James.
- [James] I'll be sure to call you back.
- Baby, where are you?
It's been two hours now.
You should've been back by now.
Call me as soon as you get this, please.
Ooh
Ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh
(knocking at door)
(Carmen groaning)
- Who is it?
- [Monica] It's Monica, the midwife.
I'm staying over this week?
We discussed this weeks ago.
(Carmen groaning)
Are you okay? - Yes.
It's just some minor contractions.
- Open up, let me help you.
- Great.
(gasps) Oh.
Oh my gosh, are you okay?
- Yes. - Oh, good.
Here, come on.
Here you go. - Thank you.
(Carmen sighs)
Thank you. - Of course.
- So, you're the midwife?
- Yeah, Monica Harris.
You know, your husband called me
and told me to come in early to check in on you.
- Wait, you've spoken to my husband, James?
I've been trying to call him but he hasn't answered.
- Oh, I'm sure he's fine.
It's really bad service out here
in these neck of the woods.
- Yes, I guess you're right.
- [Monica] I'm sure it's nothing to worry about.
- Well, did you call me to make sure
that you were on your way?
I don't remember getting a missed call from you.
- Actually, my service out here is pretty bad too.
I tried giving you a call but it went straight to voicemail.
Didn't even ring once.
- Well, I guess that makes sense too.
Service is stupid out here.
- So I take it this is the father, am I right?
- [Carmen] Yep, that's the culprit in question.
- Beautiful couple.
- Thank you.
(glass shattering) - Oh!
Oh my god, girl, I'm so sorry.
I got glass everywhere.
- No, no, no, don't worry about it.
I'll clean it up later.
It's fine. - I'm so sorry.
Oh, speaking of, where is he?
- He was just supposed to make a quick run
to the grocery store for some ice cream,
but I haven't heard from him since.
- Huh. (Carmen sighs)
- Is that your only bag?
- Oh yeah, that's all I really need for now.
The rest of my things are in the car.
I'll get it later.
- Oh, well, do you need any help?
- No.
You relax.
I got it.
- Are you sure?
You know, I may be pregnant but I still got super strength.
- I'm positive.
You just hang tight, okay?
(Carmen sighs)
So what are you guys gonna name him?
- Him?
How do you know it's a baby boy?
I don't remember telling you that.
- Oh, you know...
You know, I've been doing this for a long time,
and when the belly sits low like that, like a basketball,
it typically means the woman is having a boy,
versus when she's having a girl.
Everyone knows that.
- (laughs) Interesting.
I didn't know that.
But no, we haven't came up with a name just yet.
I have something in mind,
but we're gonna wait until we see his beautiful face
and name him whatever comes to our hearts.
- Oh.
How cute. (laughs)
(Carmen yawns)
- Oh my gosh, where is James and this ice cream?
- Maybe he stopped by the store or something.
You know how men get.
They're easily distracted, girl.
- What?
No, this is really unusual.
- Do you want me to get you something from the kitchen?
- Yes, please.
I think that would really calm my nerves.
- Okay.
- Could you just bring me the sandwich
that I've already made in the kitchen?
- [Monica] Of course.
- And maybe something to drink?
- [Monica] Of course.
Coming right up.
- Thank you.
(Carmen groaning)
Are you okay in there?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
Your sandwich wasn't fresh,
so I'm making you a new one.
A nice little lemonade,
(suspenseful music)
coming right up.
Okay.
All right.
- Thank you so much. - Of course.
Of course, of course.
- Girl, this looks good. (Monica laughs)
Mm, mm, mm.
- Here, wash that down with some lemonade.
Yeah.
- Mm.
Girl, this is really good.
You know, I haven't had homemade lemonade in some years.
- Well, you know, it's my specialty.
Not only will it help you,
but it'll help this little bun in the oven.
Drink, drink, drink, drink, drink.
- Mm.
This hit the spot. - Mm-hmm.
- Well, thank you so much, Monica.
- Of course.
- You know, please don't be offended,
but you know, you sound a little different from the phone.
Can you just tell me some more about yourself
and how long you been doing this again?
- I've been doing this for a long time.
You're in good hands, trust me.
- That's good to know.
Oh, girl, you know, nature is calling.
Lemonade got this bladder running.
- Do you need some help?
- Nah, I got it.
- You sure? - Yeah.
- Okay.
Scream if you need me. (laughs)
- Okay, girl.
(door opening)
(Monica chuckles) (door closing)
(Carmen groans)
- I'm gonna kick your daddy's ass.
James, where are you?
We can't get through this without you.
(dramatic music)
(Monica laughs)
(intense music)
(birds chirping)
(midwife sighs)
(knocking)
- Hello?
It's your midwife.
(knocking)
Is everything okay in there?
(knocking)
Hello?
(midwife gasps) (slicing)
(wings flapping) (birds chirping)
(Carmen screaming)
- Somebody help me!
Somebody help me!
Help me! (whimpers)
Somebody help me! (suspenseful music)
(door opening)
(door closing)
- Good morning, Carmen.
How'd you sleep?
Good, I know.
That was my specialty lemonade.
Now, I'm gonna remove this handkerchief,
and when I do, you better not make a sound,
or you'll be eating and drinking from a damn straw.
Understand?
Nod your head yes if you understand.
Good, now.
All right, now.
You better not scream.
- You crazy bitch!
- Do you talk to your mother with that mouth?
- What the hell are you doing to me?
Let me go!
- I'll let you go as soon as we deliver our baby.
- Our baby?
What the hell do you mean, our baby?
- Oh. (laughs)
Well, really my baby.
Oh...
Hey.
- Bitch, you're freakin' crazy.
Don't you know that?
- Yeah.
Actually, (laughs) I do.
Tell me something I don't know.
- What is that on you?
- Oh.
Oh, this.
Oh, it's just blood. (laughs)
- From who?
Bitch, I said from who!
(Carmen breathing heavily)
- All right now, Carmen.
Open wide!
Come on.
Choo-choo. (imitates train chugging)
Oh.
You can't keep doing this!
You're gonna starve my baby.
Don't you understand that?
Think about what you're doing, you hear me?
Think about this.
You need to eat.
Eat, dammit.
- Eat shit! (sputters)
- Listen, if you don't eat,
I'm gonna cut that baby out my damn self.
Do you hear me?
I'm trying to be nice about this.
Don't make me get nasty.
Do you understand?
Do you understand?
- Yes.
Yes.
- Good.
Good.
That's better.
See?
That wasn't that hard, was it?
All it takes is a little cooperation.
Now,
open wide.
Come on.
Uh-huh.
Ah.
Say "Ah."
Ah.
Ah, yeah.
Very good, very good.
All right.
One more.
Ah.
There we go, ah.
Mm. (laughs)
See?
That wasn't so hard ,was it?
Oh, gosh.
This is stressful.
- I need to pee, now.
- Well go ahead.
- Uncuff me, bitch.
- You know, I really hate when you use that word.
- I don't give a fuck.
(Carmen whimpers)
- Hey, watch it.
Go.
Hurry up.
- Shut the hell up!
(Carmen yells)
- Oh.
That's okay.
You're fine.
Keep crawling.
Hurry up!
(Carmen screaming)
(suspenseful music)
Relax.
(Monica sighs)
Fresh air.
(inhales) Smells good, doesn't it?
(Monica chuckles)
- What the hell do you want from me?
Just let me go, please.
I promise, I won't tell anybody.
- For the last time,
I'll let you go when you finish delivering my baby.
- This is my baby.
No one is taking my baby.
You're gonna have to kill me first, bitch.
- You better be careful what you wish for,
'cause you just might get it.
You know, this is all James' fault.
- And what does James have to do with this, huh?
- Now, you don't know anything, do you?
Poor baby.
(Monica sighs)
Look at this.
This is me when I was pregnant with my first child.
This is my ultrasound.
This is me at three months,
doing that same yoga shit that you were doing.
- And what does this shut have to do with me, huh?
- Hey, I'm getting to it, antsy-pants.
- Well hurry the hell up!
I need to use the restroom.
- You just came from the damn restroom.
Your husband was the father of my child!
Until.
- Until what?
- Until I had a miscarriage.
- [Carmen] What?
- [Monica] He threw me on the ground.
Said he didn't wanna have my baby
and that he doesn't love me and he never will.
Your James did that.
So I'm here to take what's mine.
Mine.
- You know what?
You're right.
It's your baby.
Look, I'm so sorry for your loss.
- So you understand?
- Yes.
(Monica crying)
(ominous music)
- What the hell is that? - Hey, hey.
Relax, okay?
It's for the baby.
- No, please stop!
- It'll induce the labor.
- No!
Stop!
- There we go.
Get your ass up.
- [Carmen] Stop it.
- Now, you hang tight,
and I'll be right back.
(dishes clanking)
Okay, Carmen.
What do you want to eat?
Fine.
I baked us this cake for us to celebrate
the birth of my baby boy.
But first...
(Monica humming)
(ominous music)
Now,
before I cut the cake, we sing.
Okay? - Okay.
Congratulations to me
Congratulations to you Congratulations to me
You're delivering my baby
Congratulations
To
Me
(both laughing)
Now, I'll be nice enough to give you the first slice.
- Oh, you're so kind, girl.
Thank you. - Mm-hmm.
- It looks delicious.
- Yes, I stayed up all night
baking this cake for you.
All right, now, open wide.
- You know what?
I'm not a child.
Look, I can feed myself.
I wanna celebrate with you.
- No. - Yes.
Come on, you can just untie me
and I promise I won't run.
Girl, let me enjoy the cake with you.
- I don't think so.
- I promise, I won't run.
Trust me.
It's a party, right? (laughs)
- Oh.
Well, yeah.
It is a party. (laughs)
- Okay.
You try anything, that's it.
That's it, that's it, that's it.
- You got it.
- Oh, fine.
All right.
All yours.
- Oh.
Oh my gosh.
Your baby, he loves your voice.
- Oh, should I sing to him again.
- No, that's all right. (laughs)
But he is kicking a lot.
You wanna feel it?
I think he's gonna be a soccer player.
(Monica gasps)
- My little soccer player.
- Yeah.
Get a little closer.
You feel it?
How does it feel?
- Oh my god, it feels amazing.
(Monica screams) (banging)
- Eat cake, bitch!
(Monica screaming)
- Bitch! (screams)
Carmen! (screams)
(suspenseful music)
Got you, bitch!
(both screaming)
This is my baby, bitch!
- Shit!
(Monica screaming)
(door slamming)
(lock clicking)
Open up, Carmen!
Now!
(Carmen breathing heavily)
- Shit, the power.
Where's my charger?
Dammit.
Where the hell is my charger?
(Monica breathing heavily)
- Looking for this?
(Carmen screams)
- [Carmen] You bitch!
- Don't worry, you'll be out sooner than later.
I will get my baby! (groans)
- [911 Operator] 911, what's your emergency?
- Yes, yes, please.
Please, I need help.
She's trying to steal my baby, she's trying to kill me!
(phone beeping)
(Carmen screams)
(Carmen breathing heavily)
What time is it?
Okay, okay.
Okay, just don't move.
She'll be here in a couple hours.
Okay.
Okay, baby.
It's gonna be okay.
I'm gonna get us through this.
Okay.
(Carmen whimpering)
(Monica breathing heavily)
- That's okay. (ominous music)
Everything's okay.
It's okay.
You're gonna get your baby.
You're gonna get your baby.
Smile.
That's right.
Keep smiling.
Keep smiling.
That's right.
I'm gonna kill this bitch.
(suspenseful music continues)
(smacking)
- Huh.
I don't see their car here, babe.
- I don't either, but why wouldn't their car be here?
- I don't know,
they probably went to the store or something.
- The store? For what?
- She's pregnated.
I mean, she's probably hungry.
But they told you to be here at 4:30, right?
Look, just go up there and knock on the door and check.
- Me?
No, you the man, you go up there.
- I don't...
That's your friend, that's not mine.
That's your friend.
- And?
- She's pregnant, y'all need some girl time or something.
Look, I'ma try to call them on the phone.
You go ahead.
- Man, whatever.
I'ma go check on my friend. - Yeah, you do that.
(Gisele laughs)
(phone ringing)
(car door shutting)
(Carmen whimpering)
- Wakey, wakey.
Alrighty.
It's almost time for that baby to come.
You excited?
- What did you do to me?
- I did a lot to you.
- I'm gonna kill you, bitch.
- No, you're not.
You're gonna lay here while I open you up.
What do they call that?
A C-section.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Don't worry, I watched a ton of YouTube videos.
I got this down pat.
Here.
(Carmen screaming)
Hey, hey, hey.
Shut up!
- Go to hell!
Let go of me!
(knocking at door) (ominous music)
- Are you expecting someone?
(knocking at door)
You think I'm playing with you.
- Find out for yourself, bitch.
Help me!
Somebody help me!
Gisele!
Phillip!
You gotta be quicker than that, bitch.
Help me!
(Monica laughing)
- Shut it up. (Carmen screaming)
Shut up.
Don't move. (Carmen screaming)
- Okay.
Is there cake in my hair? (Carmen screaming)
Okay. (Carmen screaming)
(knocking)
Can I help you?
- Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm here to support my sister
with her natural birth.
- [Monica] (gasps) Oh!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Come on in, come on in.
- So who are you?
- I'm Monica Harris.
I'm the midwife.
- Oh yeah, Carmen told me you were coming over.
- Damn signal, man.
This that bullshit got us out here in the woods.
(phone ringing)
- [James] Hey, this is James.
Sorry I couldn't get to the phone-
- Man.
(phone ringing)
(James' phone ringing) Need to stop playing, man.
(birds chirping) (suspenseful music)
(James' phone ringing)
- Where is Carmen and James,
because I didn't see James' car-
- Actually, James just left not too long ago.
He went to get Carmen some ice cream.
- Oh, he did?
Well, what kind did he get her?
'Cause I hope he got her butter pecan.
That's her favorite ice cream.
- You know, Carmen could not stop talking
about butter pecan ice cream.
He left not too long ago.
He should be coming back any minute now.
- What's going on?
You all right?
Whoa, whoa, hey, hey, hey, hey.
I got you, J, I got you, J.
Come on, come on, man.
Sit down, sit down, sit down.
Hey, man, what the hell happened to you, dawg?
- I was about to ask you the same thing.
- Shit, you tell me, man.
We came up here to support your birth.
And then you aren't answering the door,
your phone going straight to voicemail.
I turn around, you in the woods and shit.
What's going on, man?
- (groans) All I remember is
I went to the store to get Carmen some ice cream.
I pulled over for a hitchhiker and-
- What?
- Ended up being
Monica ass.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Monica?
Crazy-ass Monica?
Man, I told you to leave her silly ass alone, dawg.
You hard-headed, man.
- All I remember was she was talking,
and crying, and she knocked my ass out with something.
Woke up in the middle of the woods
and now I'm talking to you.
- You getting knocked out by women now, too?
- Man, now's not the time.
- Man, shut your ass up, man.
Shit, stay there.
I'ma get some help.
Wait a minute.
I think Monica in the house with them right now.
Oh, shit.
No, no, wait, wait, wait, J.
I got this one, all right?
Look, relax, man.
I gotta go get my wife, Carmen, and my godson, man.
- Be careful, man.
- Oh, don't worry about me.
I got that today.
She picked the wrong one.
(Carmen whimpering)
(Carmen screaming)
- Where's Carmen?
- Upstairs sleeping.
I have to finish preparing for this birth.
Where are you going?
- If you don't mind, I'm just gonna go check on my girl.
- She's fine.
She's sleeping.
(punching) (Monica groans)
- Carmen!
Carmen! (Monica screams)
- [Monica] Bitch!
(pistol cocking)
(Carmen screaming)
(Gisele screams)
- My god, what the?
(intense music)
- That bitch is crazy! - What did she do to you?
- Get me the fuck out of here!
- Okay, okay!
My god, what the hell did she do?
(intense music)
- Gisele?
Carmen?
(Phillip groans) (glass shatters)
- Where's James? Where's Phillip?
- I don't know.
Outside.
We all looking for you.
Let me help you.
Okay, okay.
Come on, I got you, girl.
(scissors stabbing) (Gisele groans)
- Gisele! (Gisele breathing heavily)
- That'll teach you to keep your hands to yourself.
(Gisele groans)
(Monica groans)
- Look what you made me do!
Fuck you!
This is all your fault!
I just want my baby.
- It's my baby, bitch! - Give it to me!
- Fuck you!
(Monica groans)
(Carmen whimpering)
- This is my baby, bitch!
(door bashing)
(screaming)
- Monica, Monica.
Monica, Monica, Monica.
- James. - Stop.
(Carmen whimpering)
- I gotta get rid of this bitch!
- No, no, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Hold on, Monica, wait, wait.
Monica, Monica.
Look, I'm sorry, okay?
I'm sorry.
- No you're not. - Yes I am.
- No you're not. - Yes I am.
We can fix this.
We can fix this.
Let me fix it.
- We can fix it? - Yes.
Okay? - Monica, no.
- I love you.
I love you. (soft music)
Yeah, I love you.
- You love me? - Yes.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yes.
- You love me. - I love you.
I love you.
I love you. - Yeah?
(Carmen whimpering)
Yeah.
- Put the scissors down- - I told you.
- [James] Come on, Monica.
Put the scissors down.
- We can fix it. - Yeah.
- We can fix it.
(banging) (Monica groans)
- James, the baby!
(soft music continues)
(gravel crunching)
- Howdy, folks.
I'm Sheriff Kirby Tubbs.
Let me first say,
I'm so sorry for all you good folks have gone through.
This kind of thing just doesn't happen
in our neck of the woods.
But I can guarantee you this:
It will not happen again.
She's going away for a long, long time.
Now, I see you guys got a new bundle of joy,
and I wanna say congratulations.
If you need anything, anything at all,
you make sure you let me know.
- Thank you, man. - Yes, sir.
Madam. - Thank you, Sheriff.
- [Kirby] Okay.
(birds chirping)
- [Carmen] Babe, I can't believe your parents
allowed us to keep the cabin.
- Yeah, well, they walked in
and seen this place nearly destroyed,
decided to gift it to us for our son.
- (scoffs) Well damn, you got lucky.
I'll tell you what, this is lit.
- Okay, whatever.
Let me finish telling my story.
So y'all know I had her right where I wanted her.
I was bobbing and weaving and everything.
And then she gon' hit me with that cheap shot.
- [Phillip] She couldn't handle you straight up, babe.
- [Gisele] I know.
- So I tried to come in, she tried to hit me with the bat.
You know, I ducked, you know what I'm saying?
I didn't wanna shoot her 'cause she a female.
- Mm-hmm. - Right?
- So I squared up, two-pieced her,
hit her with the Mike Tyson uppercut.
She fell.
Then I gotta be the hero,
so I turn around, try to run upstairs,
and I trip and fall. - I know.
- My head hit the corner of the table.
Next thing you know, I'm out.
You know what I'm saying?
That's how that went.
- I know, baby. - So that's how it happened?
- Really, that's how it went down?
- Come on, man.
You know I ain't gon' lose.
I ain't gon'-
- (sighs) Y'all, I'm just glad it's all over.
- Yeah, me too.
- It was all your fault, James,
trying to be all slick and shit.
- Trust me, I'll never put any of y'all
in that position again.
- Yeah. - You better not.
Or I'ma kill you my damn self.
(Phillip laughs)
- Okay, y'all. (laughs)
Aww.
- So what y'all wanna...
What y'all plan on doing?
- What you mean? - Or?
- What?
Plans for what?
- Are y'all gonna hire a midwife?
- [Phillip And Gisele] Oh, hell no!
- No, not after what y'all went through
with that crazy-ass woman.
Take my ass straight to the hospital.
- Exactly.
You know, man, we might be there a couple days early.
You hear what I'm saying?
- Y'all stupid.
That's the baby.
I'ma go check-
- No, uh-uh-uh.
No, it's my turn. - That's gon' be me.
- I got this, Daddy.
- No, you gon' be helping me out.
- Babe, I'm not getting up in the middle of the night.
We talked about this already.
- You gon' be getting up.
- No, I'm not getting up.
- Y'all trying to go check on the food?
- Oh, shoot, you say food. (laughs)
I'm right there, come on.
- You better be glad we hungry.
- Come on, pregnation.
Let's go. (Gisele groans)
Waddle like a damn penguin.
- (laughs) Shut up. - So fine.
(Phillip claps)
Put in that work. - Work.
- Oh man, what y'all cooking, man?
(soft music continues)
Hush little baby (baby whimpering)
Don't you cry
Mama's gonna buy you a lullaby
- [Carmen] What the hell are you doing?
To see
If I can't have him, no one can.
(baby whimpering) (intense music)
(Carmen gasping)
- What's wrong?
You having another nightmare?
- Yes.
- Is it about her again?
- Yes, baby.
- I told you, she's locked up far away.
We ain't gotta worry about her no more.
- Okay.
I'm just gonna go check on James Jr. one last time.
- All right, hurry up.
- My baby.
James Jr.
Mommy told you, I will always protect you.
(soft music)
Ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh
(phone vibrating)
Ooh, ooh
(phone vibrating)
Ooh, ooh
(vibrating continues)
(bright music)
Ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh
(bright music continues)
(intense music)
(Carmen groaning)
(tense music)
(Carmen breathing heavily)
(door banging)
(Carmen screams)
(somber music)
- Come on.
Take your time, take your time.
You good? - Thanks, babe.
- You're welcome.
(car door shuts)
So what you think?
- Oh my gosh, baby.
This is so beautiful.
I can't believe you've been holding this out from me.
(James chuckles)
Now why haven't we been here before?
- You know, my people, they hardly get outta here.
I finally convinced them
to give us the spot for the weekend.
It's pretty big, isn't it?
- Yes, it is, it looks huge.
- Mm-hmm.
- I can see why they don't leave.
I'm sure the inside is just as beautiful as the outside.
- Yeah, just like you.
(both laughing)
But yeah, we got this whole place
to ourself the whole weekend.
Let's enjoy this last weekend kidless.
You sure this whole water birth thing is all right?
- Of course, baby.
Why wouldn't it be?
It's what I've always dreamed of,
naturally bringing our baby into this world.
I will be fine.
You will be fine.
We will be fine.
- All right. - Trust me.
- I trust you.
But look, I want you to go ahead and go inside the house,
and I'll get the bags.
Take a load off.
- All right. - Yeah.
- I'll see you in there.
- All right, you good?
- [Carmen] Yes.
- All right.
- Just enjoying the beautiful view.
- All right.
(Carmen giggles)
(suspenseful music)
(trunk opening)
(bug buzzing)
(suspenseful music continues)
(door shutting)
- No help?
- (laughs) Don't you see me over here cooking a whole baby?
Drop them bags right there.
Come have a seat.
- Girl, you're something else.
- [Carmen] (laughs) I know.
- I need this.
Man, I ain't been here in years.
Still look the same.
- Are you ready?
- Ready for what?
- To baste the turkey.
(laughs) To become parents, James.
- Of course I'm ready.
Why wouldn't I be ready?
- I mean, it's our first rodeo.
Our first child, (sentimental music)
something we have zero experience with.
- Every parent who had their first child
had zero experience.
- See, I knew we should've gotten a dog first.
- Dogs shit and pee everywhere anyway.
- And babies don't? - Oh my goodness.
- See, you the first one on diaper duty.
- Oh no, I'm not. - Mm-hmm.
- Oh my goodness.
(Carmen exhales)
- Look, this is a big step for us.
This is gonna change our life forever.
- Carmen, I need you to stop worrying, okay?
Look, we got each other,
but can we please just enjoy our time together?
- Okay.
- Okay? - Yeah.
(kissing)
Okay, you go ahead and put the things upstairs
with your fine self,
and I'll come help in a minute or two, or three.
Probably not. (laughs)
- [James] You do look good while you're cooking.
- Yeah?
And this the only thing I'm gonna be cooking, too.
- [James] What?
- I didn't stutter.
- [James] You lucky I love you.
- [Carmen] Correction, you're lucky I love you.
(sentimental music continues)
- Breathe out. (Carmen exhales)
There you go.
Breathe in. (Carmen inhales)
Breathe out. (Carmen exhales)
Just like we worked on in class.
Again, in. (Carmen inhales)
Out. (Carmen exhales)
There you go.
Again, breath in. (Carmen breathes heavily)
- Okay, that's it, baby.
Look, I'm done.
- Done?
You've only been going for like five minutes.
- Easy for you to say.
It's like five minutes for you,
but it's more like five damn hours for me.
Shit, it's hot.
- Here, here, here, here.
- I'm tired. - It's all right.
It's all right.
We're gonna get up on three, okay?
- Okay.
- One, two, three.
- Oh.
- Now, are you hungry?
- Baby, when are we never not hungry?
- That is true.
Y'all can eat. (Carmen giggles)
Tell me what you want.
- We can go for a light snack,
maybe a yogurt or something.
- All right, coming right up.
- Oh, baby, can you add some honey?
- Okay. - Then add some sprinkles,
and then top it with some grapes.
- Oh my-
- Oh, and then put a pickle on the side.
- Oh my gosh, them pregnancy cravings kicking in.
That'll be disgusting.
- [Carmen] Whatever.
Don't judge me and your baby. - Whatever.
- Look, I'm about to go take a bath and soak, okay?
And get out these sweaty clothes.
- You want me to join?
- Mm, maybe. - Okay.
- Uh-uh.
Slow down.
The shower's the reason
why we're in this position in the first place.
- That is true.
You lucky it ain't twins.
- (laughs) It might as well be.
You see how big I am.
- Grape, and doggone sprinkles,
with a pickle on the side is coming up.
But please don't take forever in the day.
You know we got Phillip and Gisele coming
and we gotta still cook dinner.
- Mm-mm.
I told you I wasn't cooking anymore, remember?
You take care of that, sweetheart, okay?
Like you took care of this.
- Mm.
You know I'ma take care of that, for sure.
Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby, I can see your halo
I know you're my saving grace
You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby, I can see your halo
I pray it won't fade away
Mommy loves you.
(upbeat music)
(laughing)
- [Phillip] Oh, man.
- Girl, I can't see why you can eat that nasty ice cream.
- Girl, whatever.
This ice cream is the bomb.
Here you go.
- Get that shit away from me.
You know I can't eat that.
- Why not?
- I'm allergic to nuts.
- (laughs) No you're not.
Oh, come on.
Really? - Uh.
Look, girl, I'm sorry, I forgot.
But James, this cabin is just so nice.
It's beautiful.
- Thank you, thank you.
- Man, we got some good memories up in here, man.
Oh, man, remember the time we brought them twins up in here?
Yeah, and we was teaching them how to play double dutch.
Yeah, hopscotch.
You know, just fun PG things.
- Yeah, we definitely had a lot of memories in here
when we was young.
- Mm-hmm. - Mm.
- For sure. - Mm-hmm.
- Nothing like that.
- James told me all them stories
about y'all up in here acting a fool.
- Oh.
Acting a fool, huh? - Mm-hmm.
- Babe, we was reading books.
You see that shelf right there full of books?
- All of them, for sure. - We read 'em.
- Mm-hmm. - Yep, that was us.
- [Gisele] Mm-hmm, I'm sure you were.
- Damn.
- Y'all two are crazy for each other. (laughs)
Just perfect.
- Hey, like two peas in a damn pod.
I've been trying to tell her for years.
She ain't listening to me.
Maybe you can bring some sense into her.
- Ah.
So, you two, are y'all ready for the weekend?
- Yeah. - I'm not.
But this one right here is always ready for everything.
- Yeah, we finally having our first child.
- Aww. - Yeah, your son.
Talk about right there. - Of course.
- That's what I'm talking about.
- You already know.
- (sighs) I'm just ready for this to be over,
you know, getting back to working on my body
and getting back to work.
- Oh, I thought we already talked about this.
You're not going back to work.
- No, we haven't fully discussed anything yet.
You mentioned it once
and then I didn't even have a chance to respond to it.
- No, you said you would give it a chance.
Look, I'm not trying to have the mother of my first child
rushing back to work.
I make enough money for all three of us.
- Us too. (laughs)
He a professional.
Hey, okay, have you at least picked a name for the baby yet?
- No, not yet.
We're gonna decide on the name
once we see the little angel's face.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Aww, y'all, that's so sweet.
(Phillip chuckling)
- Oh, man.
What?
What you looking at me for?
- When are we gonna start having our own kids?
- (laughs) The devil is alive.
Oh.
Soon, babe, all right?
I mean, come on, man.
Look, there's nothing else I want more in this word
than a bunch of bad-ass kids running around
tearing up my shit.
- Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
So anyways, how are y'all gonna do this whole
natural birth thing?
Because I know when it's my turn, straight epidural.
Come on, give it to me and knock my ass out, for real.
- She ain't playing.
I can see it, you know what I'm saying?
She don't need to be pregnant for it.
- Mm-mm. - Stop.
- No, we've actually decided
to use the assistance of a midwife.
- Yeah. - Excuse me, a what?
- Midwife.
They specialize in water births.
- That's a thing?
- Yeah, she's something like a natural birth coach.
- Yeah.
- A natural what what?
Okay, that sounds a little crazy to me.
- Why?
Why's that sound crazy? - Yeah.
- I mean, I don't know,
you got this strange person who you don't know
coming over to y'all place and helping you
and assisting with the birth of your own baby?
- Yeah, I think that's kinda wild, you know what I'm saying?
I mean, and what if she's crazy?
- Mm-hmm. - Deranged.
- Mm.
Oh, oh, or psycho. - Hmm.
- Now come on, y'all know we be watching them movies
where they them crazy women
who always trying to take another woman baby.
- Yep, all the time. - Mm-mm.
Girl, do not wish that on us.
- I'm not. - That's just the movies.
It's not crazy. - At all.
It's really not.
It's actually pretty normal, you know?
We interviewed with dozens of midwives.
- Yeah. - It's a job.
- Oh, y'all did?
So did y'all do phone interviews or these were in person?
- By phone. - Yeah.
- Someone from my lamaze class
suggested a service that we can use,
and the midwife that we've selected is highly regarded.
- Okay.
- Really?
I thought you were supposed to meet your midwife
way before the birth of the baby,
not a couple days before the birth?
- I mean, you are, and we did.
- Yeah.
- It's just, she stopped coming.
So we used the service to get an immediate replacement.
- Hold up, y'all, I'm sorry.
I gotta stop y'all right there.
So she just stopped showing up?
Y'all don't think that's kinda weird?
So, when are you gonna meet the new one?
- Tomorrow, actually.
She lives pretty far out,
so we had to come here.
We didn't want a chance of missing the child's birth.
- Yeah, she's actually staying with us.
- (laughs) And whose dumbass idea was that?
(Gisele laughs)
- Mine, with your big bald ass.
- [Phillip] Okay, okay.
- See, mm-mm, that's how it starts.
- Yup, they don't know.
- Look, do y'all want us to come?
'Cause we don't mind.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.
(laughs) No.
We?
You know, we can't.
You know, we got plans.
Yeah, with um, uh, whatchamacallit?
Whatchamacallit
- What plans?
- With somebody else.
Babe, you don't remember them plans?
We can't stay here.
- Oh!
Those plans. - Yeah.
Yeah, that one.
I wish I could stay.
- They were canceled. - Yeah...
Huh?
- So, do y'all want us to be here?
- No, no. - Yes, of course, Gisele.
Why wouldn't we want the godparents of our baby to be here?
- [Phillip And Gisele] Godparents?
- Yeah. - Oh snap! (laughs)
- We about to be godparents? - We gon' be godparents.
- Babe, we gon' be...
I'ma be a goddad.
- Yeah, yeah.
- (laughs) I can't believe it, babe.
Wait a minute.
Baby getting emotional, I see it.
- Yeah, you know I am. - I know it.
You know I gotta go buy some stuff now.
- Yes. - All right, listen,
first of all, we gotta get a crib.
- Okay. - Gotta get a crib, right?
And then get a baseball bat and glove.
- Okay. - Wait, wait, wait.
He gon' be a basketball player.
- [Phillip And Gisele] Ballin'!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, no, no, football.
We actually gotta get the helmet
and stuff like that.
And then he gon' grow up.
You know I always wanted to be a dad.
- Yes. - Negro,
I am that baby's father.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's cool too.
Listen, there's levels to this baby stuff.
- Levels. - Right?
You're just the regular daddy,
and I'm the goddad.
I mean, hence the word.
God.
You know what I'm saying?
It don't get no bigger than that.
- Uh-uh, baby. - I'm going outside.
- You know what I'm saying?
It don't get no bigger than that.
- I'm going outside. - You know what?
He gon' be a basketball player.
He gon' hoop.
I'ma show him how to do it, too.
You know it.
I'ma do you like I do...
Man, come on, man.
- [James] How you know he a boy anyway?
- How he gon' keep doing that?
- Come on, man- - Girl, they crazy.
- No, both of y'all are crazy.
- So, I know you didn't wanna say anything to anybody,
but do you know what y'all having?
- Yes.
It's gonna be a baby boy.
- Oh, yay! (clapping)
Congratulations.
So, what y'all gonna name him?
- Okay, so I'm thinking James Kobe Derrell Smith. (laughs)
- Kobe?
- Yeah, girl.
That's James' favorite basketball player.
- I thought James played baseball?
- Yeah, he does. - Oh.
Okay, well Kobe is good, girl.
Hey, if y'all like it, I love it.
Okay, Kobe.
Kobe was a good player.
That's cool.
So what time do you need us to be here?
- Let's say 5:30. - Okay.
- Actually, no, 4:30.
Just come as soon as you can.
- I mean, well that's perfect.
We'll be here. - Okay.
- So, how's everything been going with counseling?
Has he been able to repair y'all's marriage?
- You know, it went well.
And I'm just glad that we got through it.
So now we can focus on healing and being a family.
- And you think you can forgive him?
(Carmen sighs)
- We all make mistakes.
And I'm just focusing on moving forward.
- Okay, girl.
I'll toast to that.
- Clink, clink. - Oh, no, no, no, no.
You know it's bad luck to not toast with alcohol, right?
- Under these circumstances, I think it's fine.
- I guess you get a pass. (Carmen laughs)
Congratulations. - Thank you.
(slow music)
Mm. (laughs)
Yo.
- My goodness.
That was crazy.
- What was crazy, baby?
- This man Phillip was trying to convince me
on what to name our child.
- Oh my god. - No, for real.
He came up with names like LeBron, Usher.
- What? - Goku.
(Carmen laughs)
- But what if it's a girl?
- Oh, he had names for that too.
Serena, Rihanna.
Oh, he even said Megan, but not just Megan,
Megan Thee Stallion. (Carmen laughs)
I spent the last 30 minutes
trying to convince him to shut the hell up.
- Well, that's your crazy homeboy Phillip.
- Yeah, I love him though.
- Oh. - What's wrong?
What's wrong?
- The baby just kicked the shit out of me.
- For real? Let me see.
- Oh.
- That's a kick. - You feel it?
- Wait, is it a boy?
- Mm-mm-mm.
- No, for real, is it a boy?
- Baby, seriously, I don't know.
- Mm-hmm.
(Carmen laughs)
- Okay, look, I'm about to go take a shower
and get in the bed.
Are you gonna do the dishes?
- Yeah, with you included
- Oh.
Okay.
No.
The baby's about to come in a few days.
- No, for real.
I heard, I mean, I read in a book
that it actually helps with the pushing.
- Oh, it helps with the pushing.
- Yeah, it's actually good for the both of us.
- Okay.
Well, you hurry up so we can get to pushing. (laughs)
Or I'ma be asleep.
All right, chop chop.
(dishes clanking)
(slow music continues)
(suspenseful music)
- I can't wait to meet you come, my love.
(Carmen breathing heavily)
James?
- Baby, what's wrong?
It's like three in the morning.
This is nice.
- I'll be back.
- Where you going?
- To get some ice cream.
- All right.
Come on.
(Carmen sighs)
There you go.
I love you.
- I love you too.
(phone keyboard clacking)
(suspenseful music)
(bright music)
(suspenseful music)
(bright music)
(bright music)
- Hey, baby.
- Good morning.
James?
James?
Hello?
James? - Sorry, baby.
Sorry.
It's all right.
Food good, ain't it?
- So who were you on the phone with outside?
It sounded like y'all were arguing about something.
- Yeah, that was...
That was just Phillip.
- Phillip.
- Yes, Phillip.
(tapping)
- James.
I love you, but I can't go through this again.
- Go through what again?
(fork clatters)
- The lies, the cheating, the random phone calls.
I can't do it!
- Carmen.
We already went through this.
We went to counseling for this.
Look, I made a mistake, all right?
But I'm here now.
- So if I was to ask to look at your phone?
Well, what did Phillip want?
- You know Phillip.
Said he got ideas for the baby name and all that.
Enough about all that, though.
Let's get back to this food before it get cold.
- Now that was real good, baby.
I see you getting better.
- Mm-hmm.
YouTube links finally paying off.
Shoot. (chuckles)
I ain't as good as you yet, but I'm getting there.
- Oh, so we gon' have to have a cook-off.
- Shoot, maybe. (phone chimes)
Look, I'm about to go take a shower real quick, all right?
I'll be right back.
- Okay.
(water splashing)
(suspenseful music)
(door creaking)
- You know I'd never hurt you again, right?
Look, we were going through a rough patch
and I messed up big time.
But Carmen, you mean everything to me.
You're bringing our child into this world.
(bright music)
I'll never hurt you again, ever.
- Okay, baby.
- Do you believe me?
- I believe you.
- Do you love me?
- Do you love me?
- I do.
- [Carmen] I love you too.
(kissing)
- No, no, take your time.
(door shutting)
(birds chirping)
(car door shutting)
- James?
James.
James!
Oh my gosh, baby.
What is it?
- [James] I don't know, let's find out.
- Okay. - All right?
(paper crinkling)
So what you think, baby?
- Baby, I love it.
(both laughing)
So when did you buy it?
- I didn't.
- Wait, so did Gisele and Phillip get it?
- No, it's from the midwife.
Woke up this morning,
found that box outside and this attached to it.
- The midwife? - Yeah.
- "Congratulations to the future mom and dad."
- Mm-hmm.
- But baby, how did she get our address?
We haven't given it to her yet.
- You're asking too many questions.
It's free.
You know how expensive these are.
- You're so damn cheap.
- You know it.
(Carmen sighs)
(upbeat music)
All right, I know you got one.
You got an eight?
- Damn.
- Yeah.
Okay.
- That's the last match you getting.
- Yeah, yeah.
I'm coming back.
- Okay.
You got a three?
- Nope.
- You lying. - Go fish.
- (laughs) Another match.
- All right, you got a six?
- No.
Dive in.
- Fine.
- Baby, how much longer on the food?
- About an hour.
- An hour?
What time did you start cooking?
- About an hour. - Oh my gosh.
(ominous music)
- I really did have a three, too.
- I'm about to go pee. (laughs)
- Probably 'cause you know you about to lose.
(tapping)
She got us.
She...
Man, you gotta have one of these cards.
A two.
(knocking on door) (suspenseful music)
- Is everything okay, baby?
- Yeah.
Thought I heard something.
Probably just a deer.
Go ahead, go back in the house.
- You sure?
- Positive.
- Look, go find us something to watch.
I'll be in in a minute, all right?
- Okay, 'cause you know I got your back.
- I know.
(box clatters)
(Carmen groaning)
What's wrong?
What's wrong, baby?
- I don't know.
- Breathe in and out.
Just breathe in and out.
Should I call the midwife?
Is it time?
- I don't think so.
(Carmen inhaling)
- What's that smell?
- Sorry.
- Oh, that is just foul. (Carmen laughs)
Oh my goodness.
- What?
It wasn't me, it was the baby.
- You can't blame everything on the baby.
- And why can't I?
- Oh my goodness.
You nasty.
- Can you do us a favor?
- What's that?
- ice cream.
We need more ice cream.
- My kid needs some more ice cream?
- Mm-hmm.
- What flavor?
Vanilla, strawberry, chocolate?
- Cookies and cream. - Cookies and cream, huh?
- Mm-hmm.
- Let me see.
Is that what you want?
Some cookies and cream?
Huh?
All right.
Cookies and cream it is, then.
But babe, you do know that the closest store
is like, 20 minutes away.
- Yeah, I know.
But we really need some cookies and cream ice cream.
- Oh my god.
All right, well I'll go get the keys.
Look, keep your phone on you, all right?
Call me if you need anything.
I mean anything, all right? - Okay.
- All right. - All right.
- All right.
- Don't get a speeding ticket.
(slow music)
Ooh
(Carmen groaning)
Ooh
Ooh, ooh
Ooh
- James?
Ooh
- James?
James, are you here?
Ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh
- [James] Hey, this is James.
Sorry I couldn't get to the phone.
Please leave your name and number-
- James.
- [James] I'll be sure to call you back.
- Baby, where are you?
It's been two hours now.
You should've been back by now.
Call me as soon as you get this, please.
Ooh
Ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh
(knocking at door)
(Carmen groaning)
- Who is it?
- [Monica] It's Monica, the midwife.
I'm staying over this week?
We discussed this weeks ago.
(Carmen groaning)
Are you okay? - Yes.
It's just some minor contractions.
- Open up, let me help you.
- Great.
(gasps) Oh.
Oh my gosh, are you okay?
- Yes. - Oh, good.
Here, come on.
Here you go. - Thank you.
(Carmen sighs)
Thank you. - Of course.
- So, you're the midwife?
- Yeah, Monica Harris.
You know, your husband called me
and told me to come in early to check in on you.
- Wait, you've spoken to my husband, James?
I've been trying to call him but he hasn't answered.
- Oh, I'm sure he's fine.
It's really bad service out here
in these neck of the woods.
- Yes, I guess you're right.
- [Monica] I'm sure it's nothing to worry about.
- Well, did you call me to make sure
that you were on your way?
I don't remember getting a missed call from you.
- Actually, my service out here is pretty bad too.
I tried giving you a call but it went straight to voicemail.
Didn't even ring once.
- Well, I guess that makes sense too.
Service is stupid out here.
- So I take it this is the father, am I right?
- [Carmen] Yep, that's the culprit in question.
- Beautiful couple.
- Thank you.
(glass shattering) - Oh!
Oh my god, girl, I'm so sorry.
I got glass everywhere.
- No, no, no, don't worry about it.
I'll clean it up later.
It's fine. - I'm so sorry.
Oh, speaking of, where is he?
- He was just supposed to make a quick run
to the grocery store for some ice cream,
but I haven't heard from him since.
- Huh. (Carmen sighs)
- Is that your only bag?
- Oh yeah, that's all I really need for now.
The rest of my things are in the car.
I'll get it later.
- Oh, well, do you need any help?
- No.
You relax.
I got it.
- Are you sure?
You know, I may be pregnant but I still got super strength.
- I'm positive.
You just hang tight, okay?
(Carmen sighs)
So what are you guys gonna name him?
- Him?
How do you know it's a baby boy?
I don't remember telling you that.
- Oh, you know...
You know, I've been doing this for a long time,
and when the belly sits low like that, like a basketball,
it typically means the woman is having a boy,
versus when she's having a girl.
Everyone knows that.
- (laughs) Interesting.
I didn't know that.
But no, we haven't came up with a name just yet.
I have something in mind,
but we're gonna wait until we see his beautiful face
and name him whatever comes to our hearts.
- Oh.
How cute. (laughs)
(Carmen yawns)
- Oh my gosh, where is James and this ice cream?
- Maybe he stopped by the store or something.
You know how men get.
They're easily distracted, girl.
- What?
No, this is really unusual.
- Do you want me to get you something from the kitchen?
- Yes, please.
I think that would really calm my nerves.
- Okay.
- Could you just bring me the sandwich
that I've already made in the kitchen?
- [Monica] Of course.
- And maybe something to drink?
- [Monica] Of course.
Coming right up.
- Thank you.
(Carmen groaning)
Are you okay in there?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
Your sandwich wasn't fresh,
so I'm making you a new one.
A nice little lemonade,
(suspenseful music)
coming right up.
Okay.
All right.
- Thank you so much. - Of course.
Of course, of course.
- Girl, this looks good. (Monica laughs)
Mm, mm, mm.
- Here, wash that down with some lemonade.
Yeah.
- Mm.
Girl, this is really good.
You know, I haven't had homemade lemonade in some years.
- Well, you know, it's my specialty.
Not only will it help you,
but it'll help this little bun in the oven.
Drink, drink, drink, drink, drink.
- Mm.
This hit the spot. - Mm-hmm.
- Well, thank you so much, Monica.
- Of course.
- You know, please don't be offended,
but you know, you sound a little different from the phone.
Can you just tell me some more about yourself
and how long you been doing this again?
- I've been doing this for a long time.
You're in good hands, trust me.
- That's good to know.
Oh, girl, you know, nature is calling.
Lemonade got this bladder running.
- Do you need some help?
- Nah, I got it.
- You sure? - Yeah.
- Okay.
Scream if you need me. (laughs)
- Okay, girl.
(door opening)
(Monica chuckles) (door closing)
(Carmen groans)
- I'm gonna kick your daddy's ass.
James, where are you?
We can't get through this without you.
(dramatic music)
(Monica laughs)
(intense music)
(birds chirping)
(midwife sighs)
(knocking)
- Hello?
It's your midwife.
(knocking)
Is everything okay in there?
(knocking)
Hello?
(midwife gasps) (slicing)
(wings flapping) (birds chirping)
(Carmen screaming)
- Somebody help me!
Somebody help me!
Help me! (whimpers)
Somebody help me! (suspenseful music)
(door opening)
(door closing)
- Good morning, Carmen.
How'd you sleep?
Good, I know.
That was my specialty lemonade.
Now, I'm gonna remove this handkerchief,
and when I do, you better not make a sound,
or you'll be eating and drinking from a damn straw.
Understand?
Nod your head yes if you understand.
Good, now.
All right, now.
You better not scream.
- You crazy bitch!
- Do you talk to your mother with that mouth?
- What the hell are you doing to me?
Let me go!
- I'll let you go as soon as we deliver our baby.
- Our baby?
What the hell do you mean, our baby?
- Oh. (laughs)
Well, really my baby.
Oh...
Hey.
- Bitch, you're freakin' crazy.
Don't you know that?
- Yeah.
Actually, (laughs) I do.
Tell me something I don't know.
- What is that on you?
- Oh.
Oh, this.
Oh, it's just blood. (laughs)
- From who?
Bitch, I said from who!
(Carmen breathing heavily)
- All right now, Carmen.
Open wide!
Come on.
Choo-choo. (imitates train chugging)
Oh.
You can't keep doing this!
You're gonna starve my baby.
Don't you understand that?
Think about what you're doing, you hear me?
Think about this.
You need to eat.
Eat, dammit.
- Eat shit! (sputters)
- Listen, if you don't eat,
I'm gonna cut that baby out my damn self.
Do you hear me?
I'm trying to be nice about this.
Don't make me get nasty.
Do you understand?
Do you understand?
- Yes.
Yes.
- Good.
Good.
That's better.
See?
That wasn't that hard, was it?
All it takes is a little cooperation.
Now,
open wide.
Come on.
Uh-huh.
Ah.
Say "Ah."
Ah.
Ah, yeah.
Very good, very good.
All right.
One more.
Ah.
There we go, ah.
Mm. (laughs)
See?
That wasn't so hard ,was it?
Oh, gosh.
This is stressful.
- I need to pee, now.
- Well go ahead.
- Uncuff me, bitch.
- You know, I really hate when you use that word.
- I don't give a fuck.
(Carmen whimpers)
- Hey, watch it.
Go.
Hurry up.
- Shut the hell up!
(Carmen yells)
- Oh.
That's okay.
You're fine.
Keep crawling.
Hurry up!
(Carmen screaming)
(suspenseful music)
Relax.
(Monica sighs)
Fresh air.
(inhales) Smells good, doesn't it?
(Monica chuckles)
- What the hell do you want from me?
Just let me go, please.
I promise, I won't tell anybody.
- For the last time,
I'll let you go when you finish delivering my baby.
- This is my baby.
No one is taking my baby.
You're gonna have to kill me first, bitch.
- You better be careful what you wish for,
'cause you just might get it.
You know, this is all James' fault.
- And what does James have to do with this, huh?
- Now, you don't know anything, do you?
Poor baby.
(Monica sighs)
Look at this.
This is me when I was pregnant with my first child.
This is my ultrasound.
This is me at three months,
doing that same yoga shit that you were doing.
- And what does this shut have to do with me, huh?
- Hey, I'm getting to it, antsy-pants.
- Well hurry the hell up!
I need to use the restroom.
- You just came from the damn restroom.
Your husband was the father of my child!
Until.
- Until what?
- Until I had a miscarriage.
- [Carmen] What?
- [Monica] He threw me on the ground.
Said he didn't wanna have my baby
and that he doesn't love me and he never will.
Your James did that.
So I'm here to take what's mine.
Mine.
- You know what?
You're right.
It's your baby.
Look, I'm so sorry for your loss.
- So you understand?
- Yes.
(Monica crying)
(ominous music)
- What the hell is that? - Hey, hey.
Relax, okay?
It's for the baby.
- No, please stop!
- It'll induce the labor.
- No!
Stop!
- There we go.
Get your ass up.
- [Carmen] Stop it.
- Now, you hang tight,
and I'll be right back.
(dishes clanking)
Okay, Carmen.
What do you want to eat?
Fine.
I baked us this cake for us to celebrate
the birth of my baby boy.
But first...
(Monica humming)
(ominous music)
Now,
before I cut the cake, we sing.
Okay? - Okay.
Congratulations to me
Congratulations to you Congratulations to me
You're delivering my baby
Congratulations
To
Me
(both laughing)
Now, I'll be nice enough to give you the first slice.
- Oh, you're so kind, girl.
Thank you. - Mm-hmm.
- It looks delicious.
- Yes, I stayed up all night
baking this cake for you.
All right, now, open wide.
- You know what?
I'm not a child.
Look, I can feed myself.
I wanna celebrate with you.
- No. - Yes.
Come on, you can just untie me
and I promise I won't run.
Girl, let me enjoy the cake with you.
- I don't think so.
- I promise, I won't run.
Trust me.
It's a party, right? (laughs)
- Oh.
Well, yeah.
It is a party. (laughs)
- Okay.
You try anything, that's it.
That's it, that's it, that's it.
- You got it.
- Oh, fine.
All right.
All yours.
- Oh.
Oh my gosh.
Your baby, he loves your voice.
- Oh, should I sing to him again.
- No, that's all right. (laughs)
But he is kicking a lot.
You wanna feel it?
I think he's gonna be a soccer player.
(Monica gasps)
- My little soccer player.
- Yeah.
Get a little closer.
You feel it?
How does it feel?
- Oh my god, it feels amazing.
(Monica screams) (banging)
- Eat cake, bitch!
(Monica screaming)
- Bitch! (screams)
Carmen! (screams)
(suspenseful music)
Got you, bitch!
(both screaming)
This is my baby, bitch!
- Shit!
(Monica screaming)
(door slamming)
(lock clicking)
Open up, Carmen!
Now!
(Carmen breathing heavily)
- Shit, the power.
Where's my charger?
Dammit.
Where the hell is my charger?
(Monica breathing heavily)
- Looking for this?
(Carmen screams)
- [Carmen] You bitch!
- Don't worry, you'll be out sooner than later.
I will get my baby! (groans)
- [911 Operator] 911, what's your emergency?
- Yes, yes, please.
Please, I need help.
She's trying to steal my baby, she's trying to kill me!
(phone beeping)
(Carmen screams)
(Carmen breathing heavily)
What time is it?
Okay, okay.
Okay, just don't move.
She'll be here in a couple hours.
Okay.
Okay, baby.
It's gonna be okay.
I'm gonna get us through this.
Okay.
(Carmen whimpering)
(Monica breathing heavily)
- That's okay. (ominous music)
Everything's okay.
It's okay.
You're gonna get your baby.
You're gonna get your baby.
Smile.
That's right.
Keep smiling.
Keep smiling.
That's right.
I'm gonna kill this bitch.
(suspenseful music continues)
(smacking)
- Huh.
I don't see their car here, babe.
- I don't either, but why wouldn't their car be here?
- I don't know,
they probably went to the store or something.
- The store? For what?
- She's pregnated.
I mean, she's probably hungry.
But they told you to be here at 4:30, right?
Look, just go up there and knock on the door and check.
- Me?
No, you the man, you go up there.
- I don't...
That's your friend, that's not mine.
That's your friend.
- And?
- She's pregnant, y'all need some girl time or something.
Look, I'ma try to call them on the phone.
You go ahead.
- Man, whatever.
I'ma go check on my friend. - Yeah, you do that.
(Gisele laughs)
(phone ringing)
(car door shutting)
(Carmen whimpering)
- Wakey, wakey.
Alrighty.
It's almost time for that baby to come.
You excited?
- What did you do to me?
- I did a lot to you.
- I'm gonna kill you, bitch.
- No, you're not.
You're gonna lay here while I open you up.
What do they call that?
A C-section.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Don't worry, I watched a ton of YouTube videos.
I got this down pat.
Here.
(Carmen screaming)
Hey, hey, hey.
Shut up!
- Go to hell!
Let go of me!
(knocking at door) (ominous music)
- Are you expecting someone?
(knocking at door)
You think I'm playing with you.
- Find out for yourself, bitch.
Help me!
Somebody help me!
Gisele!
Phillip!
You gotta be quicker than that, bitch.
Help me!
(Monica laughing)
- Shut it up. (Carmen screaming)
Shut up.
Don't move. (Carmen screaming)
- Okay.
Is there cake in my hair? (Carmen screaming)
Okay. (Carmen screaming)
(knocking)
Can I help you?
- Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm here to support my sister
with her natural birth.
- [Monica] (gasps) Oh!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Come on in, come on in.
- So who are you?
- I'm Monica Harris.
I'm the midwife.
- Oh yeah, Carmen told me you were coming over.
- Damn signal, man.
This that bullshit got us out here in the woods.
(phone ringing)
- [James] Hey, this is James.
Sorry I couldn't get to the phone-
- Man.
(phone ringing)
(James' phone ringing) Need to stop playing, man.
(birds chirping) (suspenseful music)
(James' phone ringing)
- Where is Carmen and James,
because I didn't see James' car-
- Actually, James just left not too long ago.
He went to get Carmen some ice cream.
- Oh, he did?
Well, what kind did he get her?
'Cause I hope he got her butter pecan.
That's her favorite ice cream.
- You know, Carmen could not stop talking
about butter pecan ice cream.
He left not too long ago.
He should be coming back any minute now.
- What's going on?
You all right?
Whoa, whoa, hey, hey, hey, hey.
I got you, J, I got you, J.
Come on, come on, man.
Sit down, sit down, sit down.
Hey, man, what the hell happened to you, dawg?
- I was about to ask you the same thing.
- Shit, you tell me, man.
We came up here to support your birth.
And then you aren't answering the door,
your phone going straight to voicemail.
I turn around, you in the woods and shit.
What's going on, man?
- (groans) All I remember is
I went to the store to get Carmen some ice cream.
I pulled over for a hitchhiker and-
- What?
- Ended up being
Monica ass.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Monica?
Crazy-ass Monica?
Man, I told you to leave her silly ass alone, dawg.
You hard-headed, man.
- All I remember was she was talking,
and crying, and she knocked my ass out with something.
Woke up in the middle of the woods
and now I'm talking to you.
- You getting knocked out by women now, too?
- Man, now's not the time.
- Man, shut your ass up, man.
Shit, stay there.
I'ma get some help.
Wait a minute.
I think Monica in the house with them right now.
Oh, shit.
No, no, wait, wait, wait, J.
I got this one, all right?
Look, relax, man.
I gotta go get my wife, Carmen, and my godson, man.
- Be careful, man.
- Oh, don't worry about me.
I got that today.
She picked the wrong one.
(Carmen whimpering)
(Carmen screaming)
- Where's Carmen?
- Upstairs sleeping.
I have to finish preparing for this birth.
Where are you going?
- If you don't mind, I'm just gonna go check on my girl.
- She's fine.
She's sleeping.
(punching) (Monica groans)
- Carmen!
Carmen! (Monica screams)
- [Monica] Bitch!
(pistol cocking)
(Carmen screaming)
(Gisele screams)
- My god, what the?
(intense music)
- That bitch is crazy! - What did she do to you?
- Get me the fuck out of here!
- Okay, okay!
My god, what the hell did she do?
(intense music)
- Gisele?
Carmen?
(Phillip groans) (glass shatters)
- Where's James? Where's Phillip?
- I don't know.
Outside.
We all looking for you.
Let me help you.
Okay, okay.
Come on, I got you, girl.
(scissors stabbing) (Gisele groans)
- Gisele! (Gisele breathing heavily)
- That'll teach you to keep your hands to yourself.
(Gisele groans)
(Monica groans)
- Look what you made me do!
Fuck you!
This is all your fault!
I just want my baby.
- It's my baby, bitch! - Give it to me!
- Fuck you!
(Monica groans)
(Carmen whimpering)
- This is my baby, bitch!
(door bashing)
(screaming)
- Monica, Monica.
Monica, Monica, Monica.
- James. - Stop.
(Carmen whimpering)
- I gotta get rid of this bitch!
- No, no, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Hold on, Monica, wait, wait.
Monica, Monica.
Look, I'm sorry, okay?
I'm sorry.
- No you're not. - Yes I am.
- No you're not. - Yes I am.
We can fix this.
We can fix this.
Let me fix it.
- We can fix it? - Yes.
Okay? - Monica, no.
- I love you.
I love you. (soft music)
Yeah, I love you.
- You love me? - Yes.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yes.
- You love me. - I love you.
I love you.
I love you. - Yeah?
(Carmen whimpering)
Yeah.
- Put the scissors down- - I told you.
- [James] Come on, Monica.
Put the scissors down.
- We can fix it. - Yeah.
- We can fix it.
(banging) (Monica groans)
- James, the baby!
(soft music continues)
(gravel crunching)
- Howdy, folks.
I'm Sheriff Kirby Tubbs.
Let me first say,
I'm so sorry for all you good folks have gone through.
This kind of thing just doesn't happen
in our neck of the woods.
But I can guarantee you this:
It will not happen again.
She's going away for a long, long time.
Now, I see you guys got a new bundle of joy,
and I wanna say congratulations.
If you need anything, anything at all,
you make sure you let me know.
- Thank you, man. - Yes, sir.
Madam. - Thank you, Sheriff.
- [Kirby] Okay.
(birds chirping)
- [Carmen] Babe, I can't believe your parents
allowed us to keep the cabin.
- Yeah, well, they walked in
and seen this place nearly destroyed,
decided to gift it to us for our son.
- (scoffs) Well damn, you got lucky.
I'll tell you what, this is lit.
- Okay, whatever.
Let me finish telling my story.
So y'all know I had her right where I wanted her.
I was bobbing and weaving and everything.
And then she gon' hit me with that cheap shot.
- [Phillip] She couldn't handle you straight up, babe.
- [Gisele] I know.
- So I tried to come in, she tried to hit me with the bat.
You know, I ducked, you know what I'm saying?
I didn't wanna shoot her 'cause she a female.
- Mm-hmm. - Right?
- So I squared up, two-pieced her,
hit her with the Mike Tyson uppercut.
She fell.
Then I gotta be the hero,
so I turn around, try to run upstairs,
and I trip and fall. - I know.
- My head hit the corner of the table.
Next thing you know, I'm out.
You know what I'm saying?
That's how that went.
- I know, baby. - So that's how it happened?
- Really, that's how it went down?
- Come on, man.
You know I ain't gon' lose.
I ain't gon'-
- (sighs) Y'all, I'm just glad it's all over.
- Yeah, me too.
- It was all your fault, James,
trying to be all slick and shit.
- Trust me, I'll never put any of y'all
in that position again.
- Yeah. - You better not.
Or I'ma kill you my damn self.
(Phillip laughs)
- Okay, y'all. (laughs)
Aww.
- So what y'all wanna...
What y'all plan on doing?
- What you mean? - Or?
- What?
Plans for what?
- Are y'all gonna hire a midwife?
- [Phillip And Gisele] Oh, hell no!
- No, not after what y'all went through
with that crazy-ass woman.
Take my ass straight to the hospital.
- Exactly.
You know, man, we might be there a couple days early.
You hear what I'm saying?
- Y'all stupid.
That's the baby.
I'ma go check-
- No, uh-uh-uh.
No, it's my turn. - That's gon' be me.
- I got this, Daddy.
- No, you gon' be helping me out.
- Babe, I'm not getting up in the middle of the night.
We talked about this already.
- You gon' be getting up.
- No, I'm not getting up.
- Y'all trying to go check on the food?
- Oh, shoot, you say food. (laughs)
I'm right there, come on.
- You better be glad we hungry.
- Come on, pregnation.
Let's go. (Gisele groans)
Waddle like a damn penguin.
- (laughs) Shut up. - So fine.
(Phillip claps)
Put in that work. - Work.
- Oh man, what y'all cooking, man?
(soft music continues)
Hush little baby (baby whimpering)
Don't you cry
Mama's gonna buy you a lullaby
- [Carmen] What the hell are you doing?
To see
If I can't have him, no one can.
(baby whimpering) (intense music)
(Carmen gasping)
- What's wrong?
You having another nightmare?
- Yes.
- Is it about her again?
- Yes, baby.
- I told you, she's locked up far away.
We ain't gotta worry about her no more.
- Okay.
I'm just gonna go check on James Jr. one last time.
- All right, hurry up.
- My baby.
James Jr.
Mommy told you, I will always protect you.
(soft music)
Ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh
(phone vibrating)
Ooh, ooh
(phone vibrating)
Ooh, ooh
(vibrating continues)
(bright music)
Ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh
(bright music continues)