Isoken (2017) Movie Script

God will do your own too.
Thank you, Ma.
Nebraska! Nebraska!
- OJ!
- Hello.
Nene, how are you?
I should be asking you.
You're taking this very well.
Taking what? What are you talking about?
My dear, if it were some people,
they would have been crying
and hiding by now.
First it was your sister, Reme,
now, Osato, your youngest sister.
My dear, you know, she should be the one
serving at your wedding,
not the other way around.
- You know, I just think you...
- No, no, no.
Nene, enough!
Excuse me.

I'm telling you!
You've got to know your selling point.
And sell your market!
- You kill me!
- Kukua!
But it's true!
Ah! Babes. Easy, easy, easy...
I fear for that cup, oh. What's up now?
So, I expected a few,
"Ah, God will do your own, oh,"
or "Don't worry, your own will soon come,"
but my family is not playing.
Even my deadbeat cousin's wife,
who has three children under five at 25,
even that one had something to say to me.
I wanted to slap at her nonsense mouth!
Yes, I'm 34,
and two of my younger sisters are married.
No, I don't have a boyfriend,
and no, I'm not gonna kill myself.
I am freaking fine!
Do you want another drink? I think
you should have more. Here's some more.
There you go, relax. It's OK. It's OK.
I've told you...
Hey, Sis,
Mummy and Auntie Adesuwa are calling you.
What for?
I don't know. Maybe they found you
another husband candidate.
Hey Agnes, let's take selfies.
What's wrong with this boy, oh?
I'm old enough to be your big sister!
Age is nothing but a number, man.
By the way,
the ladies are loving the cool MC,
Sorry, am I dreaming?
Nosa, you're now a rapper?
What happened to acting?
The money wasn't that great,
so... I've still got to have mad skills.
Even Davido and Wizkid
ain't got nothing on the cool MC Nosa!
This boy is silly.
You know what, you know what?
- Take your silly dollars off my face.
- There's more where that came from.
Will you get out of here and go
and get me some puff puff, rapper?
Um... you know, you're already "puff".
You know you shouldn't...
you shouldn't be taking...
Hey! Your mother puff puff!
Idiot! Calling me puff puff?
- Silly boy!
- I should slap him.
Mummy what?
I don't like it now.
What kind of nonsense scarf is this?
I don't know why
you tied this nonsense scarf.
You look like a market woman.
Leave me. I like it like that.
See your sister,
looking like a proper woman.
Yeah, whatever.
Mummy, you know what,
you just need to stop
with all this,
your disastrous matchmaking.
See, your mouth like disastrous.
Did you bring a man home?
Aw, that was low, Mummy.
Don't worry,
you are going to love this one.
He's from America,
and his mother happens to be
the president of our church society.
And he's from a very good home.
He's a real stud.
If he's such a stud, why does he need
his mum arranging dates for him?
Auntie Itohan!
Thank you for honoring us
with your presence.
Well, we were already
at the Doherty's wedding,
so I said, eh,
why don't we stop by on the way home?
Aw, thank you. Thank you so much.
This is Reme.
- Good evening, Ma.
- She's married.
- And this is Isoken.
- Good evening, Ma.
Your daughters are very pretty.
Ah, thank you.
This is my son, Osaze.
Osaze, how are you, my dear?
Beautiful party, ma'am.
Thank you, thank you.
Nice hair tie...
It's very, um... different.
Oh, thank you.
You see?
Stop shining your teeth
and ask the man what he will eat.
Shall we go and sit down, please?
Please, after you, after you.
Yeah, that was bad. But trust me,
no one comes close to my mother.
But they did good this time though.
Yeah, I think they did.
So, dinner tomorrow night?
Whoa, that was quick.
I know what I want when I see it.
Isoken, Isoken!
Osato wants us to dance with her. Come on!
- Do you mind?
- No, go ahead.
But why don't you come along?
Why don't you dance with us?
No, no, no.
I'll make an absolute fool of myself.
I can't dance to that music. No...
Americana! Come, I'll teach you. I will.
Come on.
Hey, hey, you, Isoken,
you just kept us hanging like that.
What's she on about?
Give us the gist about this Saze guy.
Gossip! Instead of congratulating
on my promotion...
- Oh, sorry.
- No, you want to talk about men.
Oh sorry, darling. Congratulations,
sweetie! I'm so proud of you!
Better person!
Congrats, but leave work for now.
Give us more gist about him now.
Get it!
Well, if you must know,
we're having dinner tonight.
That guy is a sharp guy. I like him.
No time to waste.
- That was quick, right?
- Yes.
At this age?
Ugh, no time to play around anymore.
I suppose.
So, what are you gonna wear?
More importantly, what are you gonna do
about this, your hair?
- My hair?
- Yes.
- What's wrong with my hair?
- A lot!
Don't be going all team natural
on this one, oh.
Girl, give him some glam, you know?
See, bouncy!
I agree.
Something... softer, you know,
a bit more... feminine... won't be bad.
What are you guys saying?
My hair is glam and feminine.
- Babe, that's so not true.
- Girl...
- It's your first date with him.
- And?
You've just got to go super glam
with your makeup and dressing.
The guy won't know what hit him.
- Agnes on fire!
- I promise you, girl!
But that's not me.
Darling, no one expects
to see the real you on the first date.
Come, don't look at me like that.
Nobody expects to see the real you
until you get married.
Please, I'm just gonna keep it real.
the competition out there is very tight.
Girls ain't smiling.
So you cannot smile.
- You can't smile either.
- Calm yourself.
You look more beautiful than I remember.
Oh, thank you.
I thought I'd make an effort.
I'm glad you did.
Thank you!
So the next week,
I was on a plane to Lagos.
So you just up and left everything?
Weren't you scared?
I mean, I've been noticing the changes
around here for a while.
To be honest, I've been really lucky.
My parents introduced me to a few people
who went on to invest in a company.
I've been back here for nine, ten months,
and I've raised
over three million dollars.
Things have been really good,
I can't complain.
So tell me, how come
a gorgeous woman like you is still single?
I don't know.
How do you even answer that question?
Maybe you've been too busy building
a career, you forgot to date.
Is that what happened to you?
Sort of. You know, I've not had
a relationship since post grad.
Really? And why is that?
You see, honestly,
I've not been a very good boyfriend.
Relationships take a lot of work,
and I wasn't ready to make that time
or commit to doing the work.
And what about now?
I mean, I'm back here now.
My business is doing good.
Getting married is the next step for me.
So on a scale of 1 to 10, what are
my chances of getting a second date?
Really? That bad?
You had to think about it?
You have to give a girl
a chance to front some more now.
There's no need to front, all right?
I'm a hundred percent hooked.
After you.
Thank you.
- Hi.
- Oh, hello.
Don't freak out,
but you left this in the dryer.
That's not mine.
It's not that bad.
I mean, at least they're clean...
and cute.
I mean, not that I was checking
them out... I mean,
I would never check out
a stranger's underpants.
They were just in the dryer,
and I thought...
I'm making this worse, aren't I?
You are. Um... you know what?
I'm just gonna go, yeah?
Yeah, sorry.
Hey, girlfriend!
You'll never believe what just happened.
I was just standing on my own
at the laundromat, folding my clothes,
and then this white guy
just walks up to me,
and I'm like smiling,
feeling my Sunday swag,
thinking he wanted to come ask me out.
Guess what this guy had to say?
"You left your underpants in the dryer!"
I just wanted the floor
to open up and swallow me whole!
Can you imagine?
Oh my God! You know what?
It's such a shame
'cause he was kinda cute.
You know, like... as in...
So when you say "kind of cute",
is that like cute enough to--
How much of that did you...
How much of my conversation did you hear?
I wanted to stop listening.
It was an accident.
I just couldn't help myself.
Let me call you back.
Hey, I think you're cute too!
I know,
but it's really not their fault.
That's exactly what I'm saying.
We all know that
when they came into the market, right,
the naira was really strong and obviously
they were the brand to beat, but...
who ever thought that the naira
would be 300 to a dollar? Huh?
That is exactly what you get
when you have stupid and,
frankly speaking, irresponsible leaders!
- Thank you very much.
- It's so terrible.
It's a shame.
Jesus Christ!
Let me see your leg.
I bind every spirit,
every enemy against your downfall!
May they fall down and die!
May they die by fire!
May they die by fire! Die by fire!
In the next three to five years, the
landscape is going to be very different.
So that's why I'm considering
getting an executive MBA,
- maybe from Yale or Columbia or something.
- Yes.
Which one is an MBA again?
You, this girl,
I said which one is an MBA again?
Instead of coming to help out
in the kitchen,
you're sitting here
talking all over the place.
Will an MBA find you a husband?
Or are they handing out children
at the universities now?
A woman should not read too much!
Girls of nowadays...
they want to behave like men.
But God created you to build a home,
to build a home!
But you want to act like men?
Then how do you find a husband?
Who becomes the head of the family?
Isoken's mother...
Why would you say these things?
What? What!
But you people know me now.
I say things the way they are.
You know me.
That is the duty of a mother.
Isoken, don't mind your mother,
you hear me?
Me, that's how I like my girls.
I like them independent.
I like them intelligent.
And I like them ambitious!
You, my own brother,
that has not brought home a wife
at the age of 45.
Hey, leave Mike alone, please.
Isoken, darling,
how did your date with Osaze go?
It went very well, Auntie.
You know, I actually just got a message
from work. I'm gonna have to leave.
On a Sunday?
- Yeah, I'm so sorry.
- You see?
Come on, you haven't even eaten.
Put something in your stomach, girl.
You see? If I talk now, they'll say,
Ye-Isoken, Ye-Isoken, Ye-Isoken!
- Sister...
- Work, work, work, work...
You're too harsh on her.
She can't even spend time
with her own family.
Leave the girl.
Am I holding her?
- Leave her.
- I'm not holding her.
What is it? Marry, marry, marry,
- marry, marry!
- Is she married?
That's her problem.
Which one of them is marrying?
There was a little girl
Thought the world was perfect
I stood on the line waiting my turn
And tick tock, the clock rode by
He said take a look away from here
The world is not what you think
Take yourself,
Step out of the magazine
Step out the magazine
Be patient
Someone's looking mighty nice today.
Top, skirt coordinating, hair on fleek.
Thank you.
It's going to be a good day today.
Be patient
So I went ahead to set up a meeting
with the photographer,
the one the MD recommended
for the campaign for next week Friday.
Isoken? Isoken?
I heard you... Meeting, MD,
photographer, when?
And I spoke to the suppliers
to make inquiries about the...
Take your time
No, wait, wait,
so you don't think she's right?
- No, I think that...
- Wait,
you just think about how many single men
you met in your early twenties...
and now when you go to a party,
all the men there are either married,
engaged or gay.
Some are even married and gay!
The other day, I went to this party, and
all the men there came with their wives,
except for this one guy, who had
like ten girls giving him attention.
The guy was feeling
like he was the hottest guy there.
Meanwhile, he's not even handsome!
Never, ever! Me, Agnes,
I don't consider guys that are not hot
- She knows that.
- Whether he's hot or ugly,
he'll still cheat with a 21-year-old girl!
- Sending her text messages!
- Oh well...
Or cheat on me
with some Instagram twerker.
So, if I'm going to be dealing
with such drama,
I better wake up next to you and think,
"Damn, this bro is hot!"
Agnes! Don't kill me! Hey!
OK guys, wait.
My Seye, he's not cheating on me?
- Oh, oh, no...
- No. Nuh-uh.
Cheat? Where? No.
Don't mind her. Don't mind Agnes, oh!
there are lots of good men out there.
It's not your fault
that she keeps picking shitty ones.
I was just sipping on my drink.
I almost choked.
- Yeah, yeah. I can see why.
- You're wicked, you're wicked.
- Don't mind her.
- Seriously, guys.
Really, there's got to be
some good guys out there.
Because me, this year...
I'm getting married
I'm gonna get married
We getting married this year
This year, this year, this year
Oh, stop!
Look, this Isoken that's singing with you,
she has left you behind.
At least, there was a date
that led to a kiss that led to flowers!
Backtrack, back... Isoken,
you didn't tell me there was a kiss.
Look! You should be more interested
in what this card says, girl.
Oh, nothing...
Just how he would like to have me
over for dinner at his.
- Ooh, fancy!
- Look at you playing all cool
like she's not bursting with excitement!
I'm bursting! I can't even lie!
I was in the middle of a big meeting,
and all I could do was just smile!
I'm sure people were looking at me like,
"This girl has lost it. She's crazy."
- Aw, so cute.
- She can't help it!
- Cute!
- Calm down!
What is it?
so when last did you wax your area?
Good question.
Um, I don't know, maybe about a year ago.
Oh, no!
I've not had any action down there
for two years!
You know me, and that waxing thing
is way too painful,
so for me, I say, "No gain, no pain."
Girl, you are a disgrace.
- Yes!
- Yes!
Leave me alone!
There's no need anyway
because nobody's getting naked, so...
- Oh, really?
- Oh, tell me.
- He's cooking for you...
- Yes?
- his house... at night...
- Yes?
Hello? Classic guy move?
Something's gonna go down...
That didn't occur to me.
Really? Madam kiss on the first date,
it didn't occur?
Are you like..
Look, I'm about to book you
a spa appointment right now.
No, thank you!
No? After two years, Isoken?
Girls, if it was me,
I would be horny even in spirit!
That's like spiritual!
She said in spirit!
I'm telling you!
Isoken, are you sure you can handle it?
I think I can handle it.
Her minds gonna be telling her no...
But your body girl, your body's
Gonna be telling you yes!
I don't see nothing wrong
Girl, you wanna sing, girl!
With a little bump and grind
You won't see nothing wrong...
Hm, OK, so what do we have here?
Nah, I don't like it.
This one, yes.
Tell me how you want...
Oh, am I early?
No, no, come in.
OK, thank you.
I just got out of the kitchen.
I would've hugged you, but I'm a mess,
and you look very beautiful.
Thank you. This is for you.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Come in.
- So, sit.
- OK.
Here's the remote.
Thank you.
Just give me a few minutes, let me,
um, fix this up. I'll be right back.
All right.
Tell me how you want it
We'll be here til morning
Giving you good loving
'Cause you deserve it, girl
Closer, come a little closer
So did you find anything incriminating?
Could I have found anything incriminating?
Oh, you agree, you were snooping.
But of course. What grown woman wouldn't?
All I need now is the password
to your phone.
Your apartment... um, it's very...
Um, I'm trying to find the word, um...
I know, man cave-y.
What's that?
Like it was purely designed
for the slaying of women.
No women, OK? Just you.
Yeah, let me get, um,
the food before it gets cold, all right?
OK, do you need any help?
Nah, it's all right.
Beautiful women should be waited on.
- Sure?
- Of course.
Oh my God, for the next three days,
I shouldn't be allowed to eat any food
after what you fed me. What?
What can I say? I aim to please.
It was so good.
So, don't you think
the chef deserves a kiss?
Oh no! The power company! Come on!
These guys want to kill my swag but no!
You know, I actually saw this coming.
Hm, I'm sure you did because
it's happened a million times, right?
Come on. Give the brother some credit.
I wouldn't have gone
through all this trouble
if I didn't think
there was something here.
And is there something here?
Sorry, was I...
No, look. Sorry, it's me.
As you can tell,
I'm very attracted to you.
Oh, I am attracted to you, too.
Well, I guess what I'm trying to say is
I think we should just take it
a little slower, if that's OK.
Are you sure
you don't want some more wine?
Saze, are you trying to get me drunk?
No! Never! Come on.
You're very dangerous, you, this man.
No, little old me?
You know what? I think you're right.
That you're dangerous?
No. That we should take things slow.
Look, Isoken, I think you're really
special, and I'm happy to wait.
Oh my God, could you be any hotter?
Yeah, of course. Now you just want
to rip my shirt off, don't you?
What are you feeling like?
Hi there, I was told you are available.
Do I know you?
Oh my God, it's you with the pink thong!
Oh, come on, don't be ridiculous.
You literally just spoke to me;
you can't hide!
What are you doing in my office?
We're supposed to have a meeting.
You're the one that the MD wants
for the campaign?
Yup, that would be me.
Ugh, just my luck.
You do know what this means, right?
Uh, I have to avoid you like the plague
because you obviously
have some kind of weird magic
that makes me
make a fool of myself around you.
Well, let's see.
First of all, I see your underpants,
and now you just took your wig off
in front of me.
You probably just farted.
- Too far?
- You think?
Yeah, sorry.
I'm Kevin.
Yeah, that's pretty good.
Ah, you have Bem Yoda's CD.
What do you know about him?
I'm a true Lagos boy!
That was bad, wasn't it?
He's a friend of mine.
I'm a big fan of his.
- Really?
- Yeah.
You do know he's playing
at The Hole tonight?
Yeah, my friend Kuku and I
are actually going.
- Really?
- Yeah...
Nice. I'll be there.
I'll be the "white guy"
in a really cool Ankara shirt.
OK, cool.
All right, why don't you have a seat?
- Shall we?
- The reason why we're here... Mm-hm.
OK, so I've been looking at the slides,
and you're really, really good,
you have a great eye.
Oh, thank you. These are the new bunch.
All right. Thanks a lot, guys.
Heading home now.
Do you need me to do anything else?
- Um, no, I'm good, thanks.
- All right.
So I forgot to ask,
are we still going with the photographer
from earlier for the campaign?
Oh, no we're not.
He doesn't do that kind of work.
What sort of work does he do?
He's actually a photojournalist
with the Associated Press,
so I think there's a bit
of a clash there, so...
You know Ifeanyi is crazy about you,
Which one is "ugh"?
He's so boring.
Really? He seems like a nice guy.
His ringtone is
"Somebody Shout Hallelujah!"
Uh-huh. And?
That boy can do anything for you.
Really? When his phone rings,
the entire place turns around like...
I mean, I love God too but please chill.
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were alone.
I'll come back.
Oh no, no, come back, come in!
She's on her way out.
- Good night.
- Good night!
Good night.
Hey sweetie, is everything OK?
Come and sit down, please.
What is it? Sit... Sit... Sit.
So what's the matter? What's wrong?
I'm sorry, I'm OK.
It's me, Joke. What is it?
Did the test come back negative again?
I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.
It was positive.
I'm pregnant.
Oh my God!
What's the matter?
Why aren't... Why aren't you happy?
Why are you crying then?
I can't go through it again. I just,
I can't bear to keep hoping,
and every time...
Four times, Isoken.
I lost my babies four times.
Oh my God, I didn't know. I didn't know.
We didn't tell you.
I didn't even tell my mum.
We were not even planning.
I know I'm going to lose it again.
No! No...
I know it always happens!
No, no, no, you won't.
This one will stay, I promise.
You have to be positive, OK?
Don't worry...
I know, I know. But you have to stay
positive. You have to be strong.
Hey, Kukua.
Move! Can't you see it's yellow? Move!
Love your size! Let me take care of you,
help you calm down.
Bug off!
The impudence!
We're looking for husbands not peasants!
Kukua, is that you?
Isoken, sorry, oh, it's... Are you ready?
Ready for what?
The open mic thing.
You said I should pick you up.
Oh my God, I forgot. OK, don't worry,
just come.
I'll be ready when you get here.
I'm coming.
All right, honey. OK, bye!
So surely we forgot who we are
And then we become such pretenders
We righteously deceive our own tales
Hide them
We become saints in daylight
False prophets equal our redemption
Tell me more lies than your last lover
Renegade soldier
We fight, we fight
Renegade soldier
We fight, we fight
My momma don't call me
My momma don't call me
We fight, we fight
Thank you.
You know,
I've been a fan of yours for a while now.
- Really.
- Thank you.
It's really great to catch you live.
I hope you liked it.
I sure did.
- So how do you know this guy?
- Oh well it's a very funny story actually.
And I'll have to kill you
if you tell it
because it's that embarrassing.
Now, I really want to hear it.
Chuks and I are leaving.
- Who?
- Chuks!
But you just met him ten seconds ago.
And he's taking me to his friend's party.
Don't worry,
I'm not a serial killer or anything.
Right, Kevin?
He's OK.
I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
She's in safe hands.
- Look, don't you dare ruin my plans.
- And how am I supposed to get home?
Oh, I can drop you off.
Oh, thank you so much
for not abandoning me, unlike some people.
Listen, that guilt trip
is not going to work on me.
I told you: this year,
I'm getting married.
Now watch me work my magic.
Just take it easy.
Just take me to the altar already!
Oh no, he's gonna try
and extort money from you.
It's OK, I've got this covered.
Good evening, sir.
Good evening, white man... welcome.
How's your day? Good evening, madam.
- Good evening, sir.
- Welcome.
Thank you.
Why are you just looking at me?
Don't you have anything for us?
Oh, no... Don't have anything today
but well done!
What am I supposed to do with that?
Just get lost!
Look at him,
taking a woman around with no money!
- Just leave!
- You're truly a local!
Man, I was so drunk, eh.
I don't know how they got me
to the altar the next day.
They had us waiting at the church
for nearly two hours!
Look, it's the best man's job
to make sure the groom
has the best night he's ever had
before he signs away his life.
Oh, really?
Someone's in trouble.
No, come on,
but babe, you know what I mean,
it's before he signs on
for the greatest experience
of his life.
So, that's exactly what you were saying.
Look, look, look, as a great best man,
I had to make sure
I get him down that aisle.
No one ever said anything
about him being on time or being late,
but the most important thing
is that he made it.
- Didn't you make it?
- Barely.
My dad was livid.
The vicar almost sent us back.
When are you two gonna need a best man?
Uh... I don't know about that.
I think we should just allow
these ladies bond a bit.
Ah, no that's an escape strategy! No!
Don't you ladies need to compare notes
on wedding outfits or something?
Oh, so because we're women, automatically,
we would have to talk
about wedding outfits?
We have a feminist here.
Isaac, grab that bottle.
Yeah, good idea.
So you're helping your guy escape, right?
No, baby...
So I was cleaning my car earlier,
and guess what I found?
Hm, what did you find?
Let me guess, a 100 naira note?
Wasn't even a thousand nairas.
Ah, me I wouldn't leave
one thousand naira in the car, never!
But you did forget your earring though.
I didn't realize that they were missing.
I think you left it here on purpose
knowing that I would find it
and then call you.
Well, aren't you confident?
Well, it worked.
Oh by the way, my friend Chuks
is in love with your friend Kukua.
I know,
the way he was looking at her that night,
I thought he was going to swallow her.
I think he wants to do that, too.
Kevin, you can pretend
like you're innocent,
but that's a lie.
Ey, dey no form oh.
I no form...
do for... I give up.
Please just give up.
Don't worry, I'll teach you.
Well, maybe I can come around
tomorrow night for some lessons...
and to give you back your earring,
of course.
Oh, OK.
OK. Well, I'll see you then.
- Good night, Isoken.
- Good night, Kevin.
OK, so I put the palm oil in,
and now, the thing is turning green.
No, I bought the regular starch
from the store,
isn't that what you said?
Wait, let me see.
OK, wait now, I'm reading it!
Mix starch with cold water.
While stirring, pour in hot water...
Caution: do not use as food?
Well, how was I supposed to know
that some of them turn blue
and are not supposed to...
Oh my gosh. OK, OK, so what do we do now?
Ah! Oh, jeez, you know what?
No, no, no, it's fine. It's fine.
Someone's at my door.
You know what? I'll call you back.
I'll call you back. OK, bye.
Oh, man...
Oh, Kevin.
Oh, right...
You were expecting me, right?
Sorry, I forgot.
OK, just come in, come in...
Oh my God, fire!
What are you doing?
I'm trying to kill it!
With your hands?
Where's your extinguisher?
It's in there. It's in there!
Did you get it?
Yeah! It's done!
- Well, hello there.
- Hey!
- Hey.
- You've got really good taste in music.
Aw, thank you. I get that from my dad.
You know, I think if he hadn't
gotten married and had us kids,
he probably would have played
the sax professionally.
He still talks about the time
he used to jam with Fela.
No way. I love Fela!
Dude, that's my claim to fame!
I tell everyone that he was my uncle.
No way.
Yeah, uh, after all I'm Nigerian,
and everyone who is a friend
of your parents is your uncle.
Are you sure you're not Nigerian?
You must have bleached your skin
or something.
Oh my God, you've got Shina Peters!
Yes, what do you know about Shina Peters,
white boy?
I'll have you know my nickname
used to be oyibo afro juju.
Never! Why would they call you that?
The kids of the Nigerians
who worked at the High Commission
- used to have birthday parties.
- OK.
Every time, without fail,
they used to play Shina Peters
and have these dance competitions.
I don't know how,
but I just kept winning every time.
I think they felt sorry for me.
- Oh wow, really? You kept winning?
- Yeah.
Oh, I have to see this then. Excuse me.
What? What are you doing?
I want you to dance for me.
I want you to show me the moves.
- You want me to dance for you?
- Yeah!
Is it every day you see oyibo afro juju?
So please.
Fine, fine. But prepare to be amazed.
Take it away.
Huh? OK, what is, what is that?
No, no, no.
Kevin, you really have to stop!
Oh, you can't stop this.
You can't stop these moves, no.
Please, please, please...
And then she said, "Are they
sharing children in the university?"
No, she didn't.
Yes, she did. My mother...
So it doesn't matter
what a woman accomplishes in her life.
She could find a cure for AIDS,
she could find a cure for world hunger,
even cancer,
and it still wouldn't matter
unless she was able to bag herself
a husband and pop out some babies.
I know what you mean.
The pressure here
to get married is massive.
How you're perceived is so important.
I remember, in university,
we had a friend,
she got married right out of university
and then had a child shortly after.
She must've been like, what, 22 years old?
And then while we were out clubbing
and having boyfriends
and just being kids,
she was at home changing diapers.
So I bet she must have felt like a pariah.
more and more friends started pairing off
and getting married
and having their own children and...
before you know it, it just hits you,
at 34, you're the only single woman
at your school's reunion.
It's like one minute,
you're a star student,
and then the next minute, you feel
like you failed at some life exams.
Wow, oh my goodness!
Is that the time? Oh wow.
- Sorry...
- Yeah...
I didn't mean to keep you up.
No, it's OK. It's fine.
I thoroughly enjoyed myself.
I did too, actually.
That's good.
Well, thank you for the earring
and your terrible dance moves.
You're welcome.
Hey, listen, I just wanted to say,
you have nothing to worry about.
You are an incredibly beautiful woman,
and you will find love...
in your own time.
I hope so. Thanks, Kevin.
You're welcome.
- OK, good night.
- Good night.
Are you ready?
This waxing thing,
I'm not sure it's worth the pain.
I don't know about you,
but it is working for me.
Chuks cannot get enough of me!
- So you like it when he does that?
- Like it? Girl, I love it...
Oh please, I beg, enough of this gist.
I can't believe
I'm the only one here without a man.
- Like seriously?
- Speak for yourself.
Some people even have two.
- What?
- Mm-hm.
Yeah, a white boy.
OK, guys, I'm sorry, but...
I don't know how to feel about
Nigerian girls that date white guys.
It just comes off as,
I don't know,
like there's an inferiority complex.
I'm sorry.
I feel you. My cousin calls it
the post-colonial blues.
I mean, the way we Africans think
everything white is better...
That's why we struggle
with all these foreign accents.
Please, Joke calm down. What is it?
If you felt that strongly,
why did you go to school in England?
Please ask her!
Besides, having light skinned,
half-caste kids won't be bad at all,
you know?
You see what I mean?
And by the way, it's mixed race.
- Mixed race.
- Whatever.
You guys just relax, OK?
I'm not dating him. We're just friends.
Besides if I was, you guys are terrible.
So, so wait, wait, wait,
you're saying you do not like him?
I don't know...
You know, if there ever was a checklist
of what a great guy would be,
Saze would tick every box.
- Ah, ah, one person!
- Oh.
- Handsome, check.
- Great.
Successful, check. Ambitious, check.
- Great kisser, check, check, check, check!
- Really?
So wetin you come dey find again, girl?
I know, but Kevin...
I just feel like I can be myself.
No need to pretend
or try to be someone else.
Maybe because there's no pressure
to be perfect around him.
No. Wait, wait, listen. Look at me, girl.
All these butterflies
you're feeling for Kevin...
Will butterflies pay bills?
Look, Saze is the real deal.
Saze knows what he wants, you know,
knows where he's going in life,
and it aligns with yours, right?
I guess...
Your marriage should be a union
of two great Edo families.
The wedding outfits will look great.
I can imagine Flavor and Olamide
performing at the wedding!
- Babes, what else do you what?
- Agnes!
Weddings are not concerts!
Exactly! And marriages
are not business mergers.
But wait, wait,
who says you have to decide now?
You can date both of them.
Men have done worse.
But isn't it cheating?
No, no, no, no, no!
So long as you're not sleeping
with Kevin as well, it's dating.
- Mm.
- There's a difference.
Isoken, I'm sure you know your mum
would flip when she hears this.
- Oh please, please...
- I beg, please,
enjoy your life!
Do it for all the girls around the world!
I see you want to live
vicariously through me, right?
Listen, if I had my own way,
I would even date five!
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday...
- Kukua!
- Girls, they hustle!
- Kukua!
- Believe me, you should be there!
Everyone seems to think
They would be good together
Everybody don't,
They toxin if you be my lover
But they don't even know
If I'm as baffled
I don't even know
If I take your breath away
- Just saying.
- Yeah, it's really cool, just to be out.
Well, if my truck isn't gonna get us
into the market,
we're gonna have to use one of these.
What? You this white boy!
Don't get me lost in Lagos!
I've never ridden one of these.
What? You're the one
who wanted to go shopping.
How do you even know these places?
Your Nigerian passport
should be taken away from you.
Oh my God!
But I know
I kinda maybe really do like you
Maybe me and you, we can try to
Do this love something
Maybe there's something there
I know there's something
And I know you
Kinda maybe really do like me
Maybe I could be your baby
We should start something
Maybe there's something there
I know there's something
I know
I kinda maybe really do like you
Maybe me and you, we can try to
Do this love something
Baby, there's something there
I know there's something
And I know
You kinda maybe really do like me
Maybe I can be your baby
We should start something
Add more, add more, it's for your daddy.
My dear, pass me a napkin, please.
Sis, are you sure you don't need help?
So I heard you raised
three million dollars for your company.
Oh, yeah.
So you see, I'm into oil and gas as well.
What did you say?
Oil and what?
No, Mummy, he means OYEL.
Is it not so OYEL?
What now?
Can't a young man expand his hustle?
It's all right.
You can come see me anytime.
Isoken's family is my family.
Speaking of family...
I am assuming that those
are your intentions towards my daughter.
Are we really going to have
the discussion on intentions? Really?
Is it too soon to ask?
Or doesn't the young man have a plan?
Yes, sir, I do.
I was raised by highly ambitious
and hardworking parents
who taught us to go after
whatever we want in life.
And I recognize those same ambitions
in Isoken.
That's what I'm most attracted to in her.
So I believe I can build a great future
with Isoken behind me.
More chicken anyone?
There's still a bit here.
Oh, nice. They got some new stuff.
That reminds me of Oshuti.
- You've got a good eye.
- Mm-hm, I know.
- Nice.
- Wow. This is just gorgeous.
What does it strike up for you?
Hm. What I'm getting is lover's embrace.
- Quite apt, hm?
- Yes.
...To keep my feet planted
On the ground
Did I hear you say
That you belong to me
Let me make this clear
I do not care for planetary motions
So, um... are you doing anything tomorrow
for your birthday?
Absolutely not!
Why not?
I'm turning 35! Thirty-five!
I remember when I was 18, and now,
I'm gonna be 35.
So I don't need any more reminders
that I'm five away from 40, OK?
I already have this to deal with
and then I have these bags under...
- Come on.
- See, see, seriously like see, here...
- You're beautiful.
- Look. It's terrible, like...
- I'm sorry, I can't, I can't...
- What's wrong?
Isoken, wait!
Happy birthday!
Hey, Yinka...
Hey, um, I just wanted to know
if you, like, wanted anything to drink,
like juice or something?
Ifeanyi, leave me alone, please.
Can't you see I'm busy?
Look, I feel like
I need an extra two hours of sleep
because soon I'll be a zombie.
Yes, so my brother,
enjoy it while it lasts.
I love my little man,
but sometimes I just want
to grab him and shake him
and ask him what is really wrong.
- Aw.
- No, no, don't do that.
Yeah, I can't wait.
My nose is expanding by the day
and everyone lied
about that pregnancy glow.
- Baby, you lied.
- Baby, come on...
Have you seen the video that Osato
and her husband sent you?
Oh no, I haven't! Aw!
It's so cute. I mean they wanted to Skype,
but you know it's 3:00 a.m. their time.
I know, the time difference...
Hey Auntie, let me...
Come, come. Let me pray for you.
Auntie, thank you, but let me just give
Daddy this chicken,
and I'll be right back.
I promise. Thank you, Auntie.
Hello... Hi...
- Having a good time?
- Happy birthday, darling.
Thank you, honey.
Happy birthday, sweetheart.
Thank you, thank you, Daddy.
You always give the best presents
every year.
Let me tell you a secret:
you're my favorite.
I already knew that. I won't tell anyone.
Sorry, I didn't realize there was a party.
No, she didn't know.
It was all last minute, um...
I'm sorry.
It's OK.
Come in?
Excuse me, everyone! Excuse me!
Can I have your attention please?
What's going on?
Oh my God! Oh my God!
Oh my God! Oh my God!
I know we've only known each other
for six months now,
but I couldn't have asked to meet
a more perfect woman for me
at a most perfect time in my life.
I know where I want my life to go
and the things I want to accomplish,
and you're the woman I want behind me.
Please say you'll marry me?
Oh, my God! Oh my God...
- Is that a yes?
- Yes!
Say yes!
- Yes.
- Yes.
Tell her I said happy birthday.
- Congratulations.
- Congrats, my man.
Congratulations, man. You've done it.
- That was smooth.
- Welcome to the club.
Now listen, this is what we call a ring.
Coming to bed?
Oh yes, I just wanted to, you know,
get a look at some of the presents
before coming to bed.
I'll be right there.
I didn't hear about the engagement.
Really? Since three months,
I've been running up and down
trying to organize this wedding.
It's been so stressful.
Congratulations, my dear.
Ah, so who is the lucky man?
Thank you, Auntie. His name is Osaze...
I think I know the Abieyuwa family.
Ah, they are from a good home.
And such a well-brought-up boy.
His business is doing fabulous.
God answers prayers, oh!
Yes, oh! He didn't allow my enemies
to laugh at me.
In fact, Reverend Adeniji himself
will be joining them.
- Really?
- Yes.
My dear, take a look at these fabrics.
These were the ones we were talking about.
These designs are common.
I don't want common designs.
I'll have over 1,000 people
at that wedding,
and I don't want anybody wearing
any design remotely resembling mine.
I even heard Mama Osaze ordered
her own fabrics from Switzerland.
- From Switzerland?
- So, yes, me.
I don't want to be disgraced.
I trust
you will not be disgraced my dear,
don't worry.
I'm going to give you something
from that same Switzerland. Ronke!
My dressmaker is expecting you to come in
for your measurement.
Already she has bought the fabric
from Paris.
All you need to do is go into her studio
in Ikoyi to meet her.
But excuse me, I already have a dress, Ma.
- Your wedding dress?
- Yes, Ma.
There's a lady who makes clothes
for my mum,
and she made my sister's wedding dress.
You can use that one later,
at the reception.
Joyce is the best.
She's so busy that usually people book her
up to six months in advance.
In fact, she's making
the president's daughter's dress as well.
I had to pay through my nose,
but if that's what we need to do
to get the best, then we must.
Or what do you think Saze?
Hm? Yeah, whatever you want, Mum.
And this hair, it just won't do.
You look like a...
how can I put this nicely...
like a rural girl.
Men and their mothers.
Look, there's really not much
you can do about it.
So it's totally OK that
he just sat there and watched his mum
tell me what I'm going to wear
to my own wedding?
Like, he didn't even stand up to her!
Isoken! He probably didn't
just want to get involved.
Hm? Have you seen his mother?
That woman is intimidating.
Maybe it's just pre-wedding jitters.
Everybody gets it, right?
- Right?
- Mm, yeah...
Anyway... Oh my God!
You look beautiful!
That's an understatement!
Are you sure?
This is nice.
I love it.
Are you sure it's not too much?
Isoken! Isoken, don't start, oh!
It's a wedding dress.
It's supposed to make a statement!
Wait, let me see.
I don't know,
I just feel like it's not very me.
- You know?
- It's you.
I think...
- Is that what I think it is?
- The baby's coming.
Oh my God! OK, OK...
Lie down.
Sorry, sorry!
In, out, in, out.
- I'm coming!
- Now, now.
Now, now.
With this kola nut you will
never experience any disease or death.
Death will run for you.
No disease will come near you.
You will live long on this earth.
May you live long.
Whatever you people say,
I'm tired of kneeling down.
Yoruba people and your traditions.
If you're tired, how do you think I feel?
I need some sleep.
Joke! Mummy Ibadan is calling you, oh.
- Joke!
- Ma, I'm coming, Ma.
Shoot me?
The Lord is your strength.
- Thank you.
- Poor girl.
- I know...
- See how Seye's mum is staring at me.
I'm sure she's thinking,
"Look at this single girl,
baring her chest anyhow.
Don't corrupt my daughter-in-law."
What do expect
when you have all your girls out?
- OK.
- You know she goes to MFM?
She will send you for deliverance.
When they start to pray for you,
- they will say, repeat after me, "Father,
- Father!
Any spirit holding my wedding gown...
Any spirit holding my wedding gown...
Release it!
- Release it!
- Give me my wedding gown!
Give me my wedding gown!"
You two are going to kill me.
Sh! We're going to be in trouble.
Why am I even singing with you?
You left me behind.
You already bought your wedding dress.
Mrs. Okoye loading...
Hey, hey...
Kukua, all the way from Ghana,
you came to my country
and got a husband before me?
Agnes, listen, you cannot compare spicy,
eh, succulent,
finger licking Ghana jollof...
Please stop flattering me!
Ghana jollof... never hear the last of it.
There are no fine single boys around here,
you know?
Sexy guys we can play around with.
Wrong party, honey.
I know...
- What?
- Shit, shit.
- What?
- Don't freak out.
What is it?
Kevin is here.
Oh my God...
Chuks was supposed to come with me,
and he said I should meet him here.
I didn't think he would come with Kevin!
What will I do now?
Clash of the Titans. If white boy
and Saze fight here, me, I'm behind Saze.
You know white people
have soft noses, one punch...
Just joking, sorry.
Oh, hi...
I'm going to kill you.
- Hi, Kevin.
- Hi.
How are you?
I'm OK. It's good to see you again.
Good to see you.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- How are you?
- I'm good. How are you?
I'm OK.
If you could just excuse me,
I need to... yeah...
It's about to go down
Oh, sorry.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to be in your way.
Kukua told me it was empty.
Of course she did. Kukua...
Um... you've spilled something
on your dress.
I wasn't going to say anything, but...
I'm serious.
OK, where?
I couldn't help myself.
I see.
You know, I never did get
a chance to say thank you
for the birthday present.
It truly was the most thoughtful gift
I've ever received, so...
I'm glad you liked it.
I loved it.
Listen, um...
I've got something to confess.
I practically bullied Chuks
into bringing me here today,
because I wanted to see you.
I've been so angry lately...
angry at you,
angry at me.
I just wanted to get past this,
but every time I tried,
I just kept thinking about you
and all the things I love about you.
Like how passionate you are, and stubborn,
but at the same time,
kind of goofy and awkward,
and you do this really cute thing
with your chin when you smile.
What I'm trying to say is...
don't marry him.
because I love you.
And I know you love me too.
So choose us.
I once sang a beautiful song
It had me too much
It had me high
And now
I'm crumbling down
How are you?
Are you sure about that?
this wedding planning
is just stressing me out.
So take it easy now, hm? Take it easy.
I have a difficult decision to make.
You know,
since you've been a little child,
you've always taken it upon yourself
to ensure everybody else is happy,
often to the detriment
of your own happiness, hm?
Hey, hey, hey...
Listen, listen, listen. Listen, Isoken,
it's not your duty
to make everybody happy.
You don't have to take a decision
that will make you miserable
just because you want to please anybody,
not me, not even your mother.
Nobody should put you
under such pressure, hm?
Look at me. Look at me. Look at me...
I have watched you blossom
into such an amazing young woman,
and I am so very proud of you,
and don't you ever, ever doubt it, hm?
Come, come, come on, baby.
Come on, don't be so hard on yourself.
I know you'll make the right decision.
You let me drift away
Not too smoky!
Wow, I love this.
Babes, full drama!
It's OK, they'll see! I need a selfie.
Come on, smile.
How beautiful.
Hey, you... Done?
OK, go get the hair stylist.
Yes, love.
Could you please get Saze to come up
to meet me here?
For what? Why?
Isoken, it's your pre-wedding dinner.
Everyone is waiting. We're late already.
If you want time alone with Saze,
why don't you wait till later tonight?
Please, just get him.
Babes, I don't understand you anymore.
You're dressed...
Where is this hairstylist?
Fine. I'll get him.
Hey, you look beautiful.
You're perfect, Saze.
Everything about you is perfect.
Any woman would be lucky to be your wife.
And you're perfect too, babe.
What's going on?
You don't want to go through with this?
I thought I did. I really wanted to
because everyone else wanted to but...
What are you saying?
You're not making any sense.
Saze, everything with us
happened so quickly!
One minute,
we're just getting to know each other,
and then the next thing,
I'm picking out wedding outfits and...
I'm just thinking to myself the whole time
that why does this feel like this?
Why do I feel like a guest
at my own wedding?
I'm supposed to be so much happier
than this!
Is this about my mum?
I know she can be a handful...
No, it's not about your mum;
it's not about mine.
Saze, it just doesn't feel right.
Did you ever notice that I never said yes?
I never even got a chance to say yes.
Wait, this is...
this is about that guy, isn't it?
You know, from the moment I saw him, I...
You've been with him
all this while, right?
Saze, I...
You know what?
Don't even answer that, don't...
This is bullshit.
Who does this, Isoken?
Everyone that cares about us
is waiting for us downstairs.
Our wedding is in a week...
a freaking week, Isoken!
And you choose to do this now?
I'm sorry...
This is bullshit... This is bullshit!
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Maybe Auntie was right, you know?
About what?
About a year ago, she said
that I have a spiritual husband
that's chasing me.
So she needed to take me
to her pastor for deliverance!
I've heard all sorts!
It's official, my life is a soap opera.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry I'm laughing but...
Please laugh, laugh well.
I mean, the drama in our family?
We need our own reality TV show.
The Kardashians, they have nothing on us.
I second that motion.
Do you remember
when I was going into labor
and she wanted to anoint
my vajayjay for...
- ...holy delivery!
- I remember! Oh my God, so nuts!
Auntie Stella...
She's cray cray, man, cray cray!
You have a lot of courage though,
you know?
Yes, you. I mean,
you called off your wedding to Saze.
Do you know how many women
would kill to marry Saze?
You know, maybe that's the thing.
Maybe I'm just too much of an idealist.
No, no, you're not.
You know what you want,
and you have the courage
not to settle for less.
OK. Where's the courage now
for me to tell Kevin that I love him?
Do you know that
there's a send forth for him tonight
because he leaves Nigeria tomorrow?
- What?
- Yup.
Why aren't you going?
No, there's no point.
It's probably not gonna work out, anyway.
I mean...
Mum would rather kill herself and me
before she ever has a white son-in-law.
Where did getting married
to please Mum get me?
I mean,
I love Tega,
and I would kill for my children
but sometimes, I wish...
Like I wish I had just told them
that I wasn't ready, you know?
Or I just told them
that I needed a little bit more time.
I don't know what I'm doing, Isoken.
And between the school runs
and taking care of Tega,
there's no more time for me.
I don't know who I am anymore.
Aw, don't say that, baby sis.
I know who you are.
You're an amazing mother and wife, Reme.
You're passionate and kind
and beautiful...
- Yeah.
- ...and smart.
Keep going.
You're only 28, love.
You have the whole world ahead of you.
Wait, I just wish I could press
the reset button, you know?
But you don't need a reset button, sis.
All you have to do is just take it
one day at a time.
Yeah. I love you.
I love you too.
Speaking of which,
I think I'm ready
for that family intervention right now.
- Are you sure?
- Yeah.
Cause I could just tell them
that you were sleeping when I got here.
Nah, nah, let's do this.
I'm ready for them. What?
Bring it, man! Let me just...
I'm gonna drive, OK?
Yeah, wise baby sister.
When I say let me pray for you,
you'll be running away. You see?
How can a 35-year-old woman
break up her own engagement?
Auntie Isoken, you didn't do well.
You should've at least
allowed me to collect some millions
from that guy
before you broke up with him.
What's wrong with you?
Sister! Mama Isoken!
You are sitting down there.
Won't you let us go
and beg the King of Kings,
God of Gods so that this child...
Wait... please!
- are you gay?
- What?
Yes. Yes.
I have been sitting here cracking my head.
The last time you had a boyfriend
was when you were 28.
Before then, you brought home only two.
Now, by yourself,
you have gone ahead
and told your Saze you can't marry him,
a man like that!
It means
you don't want to marry anybody else!
Mum, she's not gay.
She likes somebody else.
- Really?
- What's wrong with you?
His name is Kevin. He's English.
What is wrong with this girl?
Don't we all speak English?
- He's white.
- What?
- White?
- Yes.
I know this girl is going to disgrace me!
This girl has disgraced me!
I knew it! I knew it!
Isoken, why can you not be normal
like your sisters?
Why can you not be normal?
Are you the only one
who went to school in England?
Enough, Mummy, enough!
I nearly married Saze,
who would have made me miserable,
just because I wanted to please you.
So that maybe just for once,
for once in my life, I can say I finally
did something to make Mummy happy,
to make you proud of me.
But I know now that will never happen...
unless I do exactly
what you want me to do,
and that's not gonna happen.
Because you know what?
I'm not normal.
I never was, and I never will be.
So the earlier you start
to accept that, Mummy, the better!
Leave me alone, I can do it all alone
And lest I forget,
I'm gonna tell Kevin that I love him
and that I want to be with him.
So if you ever want
to see your grandchildren,
you better get on board.
Isoken, Isoken!
It's OK, it's OK.
Reme, I'm going to need a ride.
Hey, don't worry, don't worry.
I will take you myself.
I'm coming along!
- Mike!
- What?
You can sit if you want to.
Aren't you coming?
Oh, I think I know the right way to go
I think I know the right way to go
I think I know the right way to go
Oh, I think I know the right way to go
I think I know the right way to go
I think I know the right way to go
- Auntie Stella? You too?
- Mm-hm.
Wow! Come on, let's go.
Belt up!
What is it?
OK, Isoken, move to the back.
My love, my love!
To everything that we don't know
That we are missing
To all the lies
That we have ever sold ourselves
To the love that we let go
And now regret it
To the life we could've had
But never chased
Take a breath, let it out
Start again, start again
Let's all dance because we can
Start again, start again
Start again, start again
Start again, start again
Start again, start again
Start again, start again
Take a breath, let it out
Start again, start again
Let's all dance because we can
Start again, start again
Start again, start again
Start again, start again
Didn't expect to see you here.
I know. Can we go over there
and get some privacy, please?
Yeah, sure. Mind your head.
So, how have you been?
I've been good. How have you been?
Yeah, I've been OK.
OK, so, um...
I know it's probably not gonna
make much of a difference,
especially since you're leaving tomorrow
and everything, but...
I just wanted to tell you
that I love you, Kevin,
and I'm sorry that it's taken me so long
to tell you this,
but I love you, and I choose you.
I choose us.
Mr. Groom,
please do not swallow the bride!
Distinguished guests,
ladies and gentlemen,
please give it up
for the couple of the year,
Kukua and Chuks! Make some noise!
Hold on, can I get some grilled fish
and plantain instead?
But you said you wanted rice.
Reme, I saw them serving fish,
it looked nice,
so I changed my mind like...
You know what?
You can go ahead
and get the fish yourself,
and by the way, I'm going back to work!
Stop running!
- Hey.
- Hi, can I get you something?
Um, actually...
Actually, I have that sorted already.
Hey, hi. Um... Uh...
Yinka, this is my girlfriend, uh, Tina.
- Girlfriend?
- Yes.
Yes, girlfriend. Nice to meet you.
This is my colleague, Yinka.
My friend, stop that!
What now, eh?
Can't a man feel up on his wife?
Or you don't want baby number two?
No, please!
My body has not even recovered yet.
Ain't nobody got time for that!
You're not having it, are you?
- Come here!
- OK, I got a little time.
That's my girl.
If you had introduced me to your friend,
this could have been our wedding.
- Uncle, you? Wedding?
- Yes.
Look, I forgive you.
You can make it up to me.
That your friend there,
you can introduce her to me, Agnes.
No offence, Uncle Mike, but I think
Agnes would eat you for breakfast.
Hey, hey, hey, hey...
May I have this dance?
Isoken tells me you're a very good dancer,
so please take it easy on me.
What did he say?
White boy wants to dance with you.
Ye-Isoken, go and dance.
- He wants to dance?
- Yes.
- Go dance.
- What's wrong with you?
- Come on!
- Dance.
White boy wants to dance.
After you.