It Had to Be You (2015) Movie Script
1
Chris?
Chris!
Hello?
Nora?
Hello?
Nora, hello.
Mm, it's Sonia.
I think Chris is going
to propose to me.
Son hello?
Hello.
Mm, ah Son I can't
really hear you,
call me back when you
have better reception.
I never wanted to get married.
I mean I had nothing
against it, per say.
It's just, it was never
a fantasy of mine,
and no my parents
aren't divorced
and I'm not emotionally damaged.
I grew up in a crowded
apartment in Brooklyn.
That's mom,
grandma,
dad,
and me.
I always had the nagging
sense that life was short
and I really wanted
to be somebody.
Preferably someone who
died tragically young,
leaving behind a trail
of grieving fans,
and lovers.
I just can't believe it.
Sonia this is a good thing.
I know, I know it's just I don't
think I'm ready for this.
I'm not wife material.
Look Sonia if you're really
not ready just go in there
and talk to him.
No, no, no, he's got a
whole thing in there,
it's beautiful.
Um you know what?
I know what I'll do.
I, I, I'm gonna say
yes now and then
I'm just gonna tell him
that I'm not ready later,
that's what I'll do.
Chris.
I'm so sorry, I just saw the um,
and I, umm, I, I panicked.
Panicked?
Not panicked, but I freaked out.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
I'm so sorry, I'm sorry.
It's fine, just uh...
Ow, ow.
CHRIS: Hey this is Chris.
Leave a message.
Hi Chris, it's me.
I'm so sorry,
will you please call
me when you can.
I love you, okay.
Hello?
Hi.
Oh.
You know, it's so beautiful,
I'm such a moron.
Did you run here? Mhm.
Hi. ALL: Hi.
Oh, poppy's are expensive.
He knew I liked them
from your wedding.
Nora!
What, I'm pregnant!
And a bride!
SONIA: These are
my best friends.
We all went to high
school together.
When we were younger
romance seemed simple.
All you had to do was
become a gorgeous,
independent, prostitute, and the
rest would fall into place.
In college it turned
out it wasn't PC
to want to be a prostitute.
Even one with as much self
respect as Julia Roberts.
So we reshaped our priorities.
Like the lady's of
Sex in The City,
we to were going
to make the most
of our twenties and thirties.
But it turned out
to be pretty hard,
juggling our budding
careers and a social life,
and soon we all had boyfriends.
And then suddenly Lee
married a guy who's
fortieth birthday
she'd organized
for her party planning firm.
He designed it.
SONIA: Anna married a guy
from her yoga studio.
Nora's fianc Mark was
a friend of Chris's
and we'd introduced them
only six months earlier.
I thought we were gonna wait
until we were at least
thirty to get married.
We are thirty.
He'll call.
He'll definitely call.
Hello? Is that Mark?
Did he talk to Chris?
Did you talk to Chris? Ya.
And? And he's fucked up.
This is fucked up.
You tell her about the candles?
Wha? Oh ya,
he says to tell her to
put out the candles.
Okay, I love you so much.
Okay, I love you to.
K, bye.
What'd he say?
He told Mark to remind you
to put out the candles.
Aww.
That's it?
He said he sounded
pretty broken up.
God I want to be
put into a coma.
Thank you. It had to be you
I wandered around
No.
No, come on.
No, no.
No, no, no, I don't, I
can't, I don't do that.
Come on, come on.
Oh, it's cool I didn't
like those anyways.
Sorry.
It's alright.
Back, side two,
forward three,
side four. One.
How do you know how to do this?
Mark and I started a
ballroom dancing club
in college to meet girls.
You did?
What and?
One girl signed up.
And about seven other dudes.
So we mostly just
danced with each other.
Oh my god.
I can't believe you had to start
a dance club to meet girls.
I mean Mark, ya.
But you?
Wait, wait, wait.
Alright.
Hi.
I just sort of like, wasn't
expecting it?, you know?
When we talked about
it before I told you
that I wasn't really ready yet.
That was a year ago.
What?
But we hadn't really talked
about it since then, you know?
I guess I just wanted
to surprise you.
I thought you said it
was stupid when people
talked all about it and went
and picked out the
ring together,
and just acted like it
was a big surprise.
Ha, ya, what were they thinking.
Sorry.
Sorry, they came over afterward.
So that wasn't a no yesterday?
No.
Well then what?
Do you just, need some
time to think about it?
Ya, that'd be great,
is, is that okay?
Sure.
Chocolate gives
me gas so sue me.
I gotta go to, I'm
gonna be late.
K, I'll see you later.
I'm sorry.
I'm such an asshole.
It's okay.
Probably just gonna die a
few years younger now,
that's all.
I've been proposed to.
I've been proposed to.
I've been.
I've been proposed to?
And just like that, every doubt
I've ever had about marriage
floated up in my brain,
like when people
fish with dynamite.
I worried Chris and I
weren't compatible enough.
Weren't they amazing?
The way they like seized
their fate and they just,
really did their thing.
They died.
Well ya, but that's the
price of really living.
But wouldn't you rather,
you know, live?
SONIA: Two.
I worried, well
frankly recently I
worried we didn't
have enough sex.
Or the right kind of sex.
I think that's a two sheeter.
SONIA: And three.
I always though that by
the time I got married,
I would be different.
Better, more like a real
woman, more accomplished,
cleaner, bolder, more like her.
Who was I kidding, I
mean just look at her.
She's probably
wearing a lady bra,
not a sports bra that gives
her one flat uni boob.
She probably had her light
gluten free breakfast.
She's obviously
traveled all over.
Had loads of lovers.
Hi.
This is where I work.
We write music for commercials.
You know, like na-bis-co
but also background music you
don't necessarily notice.
I try and compose as much
as I can but my actual job
is assisting the
other composers.
Morning.
I just need...
That's my boss Zack.
This, this is Christmas el.
Already?
Oh, and I put you on
the baby wash job.
This is your bio and.
This is so great,
thank you so much.
You are such a genius at this.
Yeah you are.
No seriously, this is
like the most amazing
composing website
I've ever seen.
Well it helped that you
knew what you wanted.
Oh no, was I a Hitler client?
No, no, not Hitler.
Maybe Mussolini.
Well let me get you your check.
Hey, would you maybe
want to get a drink?
Oh, I would love to but I'm
in this complicated thing.
Understood. Sorry.
No, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry, that was
inappropriate.
I guess.
A little.
Thanks.
And good luck on everything.
Seriously, you're gonna be huge.
Thank you.
He's from Wisconsin.
Or Wyoming, somewhere
in the mid west.
He really makes me laugh
and I don't know.
He's a really nice guy.
He taught his grandma
how to skype.
So why did you say no?
You said no?
Ladies.
And slide forward into
upper facing dog.
I told him I was involved
in a complicated situation.
There's nothing
complicated about it,
Zack just uses you
when he's lonely.
SONIA: Okay, so
remember my boss Zack?
He wasn't always just my boss.
In my defense, Zack was a
really musician. lented.
Plus he traveled
all over and had
these amazing stories,
like the time he saved
a little Indian boy
from a snake bite,
and was given this
sitar in gratitude.
I though you said
that you broke up?
We did.
Shh, I'm so sorry, sorry.
I became really insecure
about the audition and-
ZACH: I'm sorry.
I'm so embarrassed.
CHRIS: You should
not be embarrassed.
I thought it was great.
It wahh, god.
I've never seen
anything like that.
Ya, cuz it was terrible.
No!
I thought it was interesting.
And I thought your
music was terrific.
Really?
Ya, absolutely, I thought
it made the film.
You really think that?
A hundred percent.
You know, I'm kinda
proud of it to.
Because this director had
pushed me in this really
sort of modern, blagh,
direction you know?
It's just all, scary sounds,
and there was no
actual music music.
But I really wanted it
to have an old fashioned
theme driven vibe you know
like Hitchcock or like-
I was just gonna say that.
Really?
That's how it felt. You
were gonna say Hitchcock?
Yeah it felt like how did the
theme every time the shark
came around-Yeah.
It went brrnnrrr and...
am I butcherin' it?
What, no no no.
I just I can't sing.
You can't?
Yeah I don't I, it makes
me very self conscious
singing, dancing.
Oh well you're a lot of fun.
Yeah, you know everyone at
work makes fun of me for that
but I cannot do it, it
makes me feel naked.
So what about singing
in the shower?
Well there I'm already naked.
So my place or yours
Ahh.
Just kidding but do
you wanna come over?
Yeah, that'd be great.
CHRIS: So your parents are away?
Yep be out in a second.
Something that always confused
me in romantic movies is-
I'll go freshen up.
What do they do in there?
Am I doing the wrong thing?
Back
I meant to tell you earlier,
you look really pretty today.
Oh merci.
Umm do you want
to see my studio?
Wow this is like a real studio.
Yeah pretty much.
I've been saving up all year
and I just sound
proofed my window.
Ready?
Wow. Yeah.
I could murder you and
no one would hear it.
Oh that's in the front.
Shoulda thought of that.
Here we go.
Wow.
What?
You have really nice boobs.
Thank you, I've been told.
Not by anyone special
Not for a long time, sorry.
Let's just move on.
Okay.
What's wrong?
Something, something
fell out of you.
Oh god!
Oh god!
You okay?
Yeah that's my birth
control thing
it's called the ring
I was on the pill
but I got off it cause
it made me nuts.
Ohhh.
Oh boy.
So obviously we should
still use a condom.
Yeah, yeah, yeah of course.
Not that, you don't
seem diseased umm.
No it was actually you
that I was worried about
I was gonna say we
should use two.
Safety in numbers.
I went to the doctor
I went to the mountains
Arrgh. NORA: Driver picks.
Yeah I know but shouldn't
we be listening to Mozart
or something for the baby?
Yeah if you want the
baby to be like a weird
over achieving little freak.
Better that than a
granola lesbian.
And the less I seek my
source for some definitive
Closer I am to find it
Dude I can't believe this
whole place is yours.
I know.
It's actually the smallest
house in the neighborhood
the real estate market
just ass raped us.
Speaking of which did Nora
tell you about our mishap?
Mark. What?
Come on I wanna show you inside.
Okay.
I'm sorry it was an accident.
Uh huh.
The belly has me
all disoriented.
NORA: This is the dining room.
SONIA: Whoa, wow. I know.
This is the kitchen.
Do you think we're
like total sell outs?
First law school now this.
No, no, no.
It's just so grown up.
I know. Yeah.
Look how clean it is.
It really is impressively clean.
It was dumb of me.
I shouldn't have told
people before hand.
Now everybody at work looks
at me like I have cancer.
Fuck, so now what?
I don't know.
Guess she's thinking about it.
Well either way man I'm
sure it's not you.
Like if she says no she would
have said no to any guy.
What do you mean?
Well I'm not saying
she's a lesbian.
Look I'm no expert but most
girls are dying for this shit.
Like Nora begged me to marry her
and she was a lesbian.
She begged you?
Yeah dude, begged.
Sonia's different.
Right well that's what
I'm trying to say,
just maybe resolve
this sooner than later
because you don't wanna stick
around for another two years
if she's not going to marry you.
This is so good, I'm so
happy we found this place.
Oh, Chris can help me
dig out that stump.
Why do you need to
dig out a stump?
Because that's where
we're gonna bury
little Bing's foreskin.
It's a Jewish tradition.
No, we are not
butchering baby Ellie.
Bing.
Bing as in like, Chandler Bing?
No, Crosby.
Can I talk to you real quick.
Ya.
Sorry just, one second okay?
I just need a little time.
You know I still feel like
I need to, evolve more.
You know, like in general,
and you know at work to.
But I also was
thinking that maybe,
you know, we could
work on some stuff.
We could spice things up
a little bit, we could.
How much time do you
think you'll need?
I don't know.
Because the uncertainty
is kinda killing me here.
But it's not really
that uncertain.
Well if it's not uncertain
then can we just set a date
for our engagement for
like, a month or two?
A month, or two
months, or three.
Three?
Well what if I need six months,
what if I don't know how
long I'm gonna need?
Chris?
Then maybe we shouldn't-
be together.
You're gonna break up with me?
If I, if I don't give you
a date to get engaged by?
Look, you don't get it.
I love you and I want
to be with you forever.
I think you're perfect.
I don't think you need to...
Evolve? Evolve.
And I think we're great to.
And if you don't then maybe
we just want different
things and we always will.
Can I at least have a few
days to think about it?
This is so crazy.
Women give men ultimatums
all the time and
maybe he's right.
Maybe we're like, to different.
You guys love each other as
much as any couple I know
and before all this you guys
were doing great, right?
Did you email about google?
Hm?
Google?
I don't think I want to.
Why?
You said that that's every
nerds dream job, why?
I don't know, I'm
fine in my job here.
This is your career,
this is your whole life,
you don't want to
just be fine with it.
You are so great at what you do
you, you, you
should pursue this.
Maybe.
Ugh, maybe.
Chris, you're ugh.
Why are you getting so
worked up about this?
Because you're just, you're
like this with everything.
It's like you're okay with
everything just being okay.
Why shouldn't I be?
Because okay is like,
it's, you know.
It's like settling for
a seven out a ten.
A seven is great.
A seven it's, that's
barely passing!
If you get, if you get below a
seventy on a test, you fail.
You only live once and
you should at least try
to have everything in
your life be a ten.
That's crazy.
That's not crazy,
why is that crazy?
I think you're a ten.
I think you're more then a ten.
You do?
Of course I do.
Why, what do you think I am?
I think we just
grade differently.
I'm sorry.
It's okay.
I think you're a ten.
No, can we please just
forget it, I'm fine,
I'm fine, I just
want to forget it.
Look.
See this, this is
where I live right?
Like a really great
day, it's like a seven.
Okay?
Like the day my dad died,
it's probably a two.
And I just, I live
right in there.
You know I think you're amazing.
You do?
Yes, I've never met
anybody like you.
I think that's one of the
reasons that I don't
really care about the job thing
is because I'm so
happy with you.
Plus it's in San Francisco,
and you love New York.
I know but if you love it, we
could figure something out.
You know?
Are you still mad at me?
No, no, I just want to get
a little more work done.
But we will tomorrow, okay?
I promise.
Uh, that's how my grandma
used to kiss me.
You but what does
that mean exactly,
not all the time.
We haven't done it
in nine months.
Seriously?
Not since the baby.
Breast feeding gives women
a dry vagina. Whoa.
Anyway, you really can't
compare like that.
Every relationship is different.
Yeah, I know. I know, that's
what every body says,
but how else am I supposed
to gauge what's acceptable?
Well Chris's behavior
certainly isn't acceptable.
I don't know, I think that
he made some fair points.
If he doesn't cave, you should
defiantly get to keep the place.
What do you mean?
Well you're not gonna
let him extort
a yes out of you, are you?
It's not extortion,
an ultimatum is an acceptable
form of negotiation.
Extortion is illegal.
What?
I can't think straight.
You should talk to him.
Ya, well I left him
two messages and
he hasn't called my back.
I gotta go, I gotta go.
Hi.
I'm Laura, we ride the
same train right?
Yes, Sonia.
What'd you get?
Just some underwear.
I'm way behind on my laundry.
Oh, me to.
Did you see, there's a
sale on um, cosabellas.
Oh I've never really tried
the whole thong thing.
Oh, you know I used
to be like that to
but they're actually
totally comfortable.
And much more flattering
than you would think.
And you can't see them, not
even through a sarong.
I travel a lot for work.
of being a princess
now you have a little
princess of your own
and we understand that keeping
her clean and healthy
is the most important
thing to you.
That's why all our products
are made from the purest
organic ingredients
with no artificial
or chemical additives.
CHRIS: Breing.
Hey.
Hi Zack.
Hi, here to see Sonia?
Ya.
Is that for me?
Oh, we were flower shopping
for Nora's wedding
and they gave us
some free samples.
It was so much fun, it made
me want to get married again.
Sorry.
It's okay, it not like
I have a disease.
Smell this one.
Wow, wow.
That's what I said.
Lee said it's to strong.
I told you,
it's different when there's
one at every table.
Sonia.
Ya?
Are you wearing a thong?
No.
Yes you are.
Okay, please don't laugh at me.
I have thongs.
No, I know.
I didn't, until yesterday.
And then I picked up
the wrong bag so.
I told my friends
about the woman
from the train and how
I'd always fantasized
that by the time I got married,
I'd be more like her.
I told them that I
couldn't imagine
saying yes to Chris now,
given our different
expectations of life
and of love, and
if this meant that
he was going to dump me,
maybe that doesn't have
to be so terrible.
Maybe it could even be an
opportunity to explore
and grow, maybe even do some
traveling like that lady who
wrote Eat Pray Love.
Then do it.
Oh, I have a promotional
voucher with virgin,
we could get you a
ticket half off.
I think it's good anywhere
over the Atlantic.
So, where would you
ideally want to go?
Wait, wait, I don't.
What, it's okay.
If Chris backs out we can
just reclaim the voucher.
He's not, he's not
gonna back out.
He won't even speak to me.
Ya, okay, ya I'll
take a few days off.
Okay, so where to?
Oh you could go to
India like she did.
Paris. Rome?
Rome.
You could look up Fabrizio.
I'll see you soon. Ciao bella.
So, I guess this is goodbye.
Is a sadness you are
lesbian because,
when I first see you I
like you very much.
Hey.
Hi.
What's that?
It's an itinerary.
For you?
I'm really sorry.
I can't be engaged right now..
Son.
Just let me finish, okay?
Cuz I actually think
that it's okay.
You know, because the ultimatum
made me realize that
we want different things,
at least right now.
So I bought this ticket,
and I'm gonna go to Rome,
and do something
bold for once and.
Wait, are you saying
you don't want
to be together at all now?
Didn't you say that right?
We either get engaged.
Ya, ya, ya no.
Am I right? No, ya, right.
Right, have a great
time on your trip.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait,
what is all this?
I came here to tell you
I wanted to be with you
no matter what.
Wait, wait, wait.
What?
I don't know, don't you
ever feel like you
haven't really lived?
I feel like I was waiting
for you to start my life.
Ciao, ] Sonia Freedman.
Grazie.
Sonia.
Hi, Ciao.
Ciao bella.
Hi.
Wow how are you?
This is so nuts.
Wow, nuts I don't no-
Ah it's crazy.
Ah si, si, si.
We have a work emergenza,
maybe you help.
Okay. Yeah?
Yeah. Okay.
Sonia, Jessie my brother.
Ciao.
I'm of average height.
Perfecto.
Oh ah, oh no, no.
our model no show.
Ah, personal problem.
We do travel guides.
Oh you're missing and
H, it's a hipster.
A ipster. Hipster.
Ipster for Roma-
Hipster. Ipster Milan.
It's hipster.
Ipster.
Thank you.
Audrey in Roman Holiday.
Yeah, maybe her lesbian cousin.
Yeah you have to move
around a little bit.
Yeah just like.
Ah not so much robotic.
Do you want like
a glass of wine.
Yes, yes.
Okay, I'll be right back.
Grazie.
TV show okay.
Ah I Love Lucy, Captain Hook-
Walking Dead.
The Walking Dead.
Yeah.
Stabbing, I don't know anything
Amanda Knox.
Smurfs? The smurf girl.
Marilyn Monroe?
Oh, Jimi Hendrix.
No?
Kirk Cobain. I don't know.
It's Audrey Hepburn
in Roman Holiday.
Ah si, si.
Ah si, si pretty woman.
Hitler.
Ah fawlty towers.
Ah Charlie Chaplin.
Yes.
Miles Davis.
Hannibal Lector.
The bible or Adam and Eve.
Whooo.
Ah, gone with the wind.
I'm gonna be sick.
I'm good.
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
I don't, I don't
think I can do this.
I just I almost just got engaged
and I don't think I'm
ready for this I'm sorry.
Oh I've, I've never
done the whole
groom your private's thing.
Oh my god seriously,
I can't believe I'm
letting you do this.
Have you done this before?
My family all dabbles.
I'm an artist?
Great, yeah.
You should offer me candy
and then ask me to
get in your van.
You know like an after
school special?
Like a child molester.
Ah si, si, si.
No we no have those in Italy
is a free society
more open not so um-
We love who we love.
That just sounds like it's
okay to be a child molester
in Italy.
I kiss you now?
We kiss already no harm
we save the rest for marriage.
Okay.
Bella Sonia I had to go, I
take some money and phone.
I pay you back, I'm almost
married to and we have baby
soon, I promise her a ring
but never even have money.
Please forgive me.
And remember I like you always.
Fabrizio.
NORA: Hi this is Marc and
Nora please leave a message.
Hi Nora it's me are you there?
I really miss you guys.
So um the thing is I
think I just got robbed.
I mean I know that I did.
Hello?
Hello.
CHRIS: Hi.
Chris?
Yeah.
Hi.
CHRIS: Are you okay? Yeah.
NORA: Should I pause the movie?
Oh is that Nora?
Ah no it's the TV.
Are you alright?
Yeah, I'm fine I
just, I was an idiot
and I got robbed but when
in Rome you know
But you're okay physically?
Yeah no totally.
How are you?
I'm fine.
Oh damn it, hello?
Chris,
Hello?
So it wasn't amazing?
Um amazing?
No, but I'm glad
I went, I guess.
Dun dun dah dum.
Why didn't you take
your clothes off?
It was just to
give them an idea.
Okay well we'll have to do
something about this but-
I think you'll look gorgeous.
It's beautiful, it's beautiful.
I don't know I just don't
feel like it's me.
Honey, you would
be a burlap sack.
Yes that what I was talking
about when I said I wanted
something more canvasy.
Canvasy?
Wait are you talking
about linen?
Yes linen.
No linen is what you
wear to a beach party,
it's casual, it wrinkles.
So casual is good, please.
Why can't we just make
this whole wedding thing
more homey?
see what I can do.
So good to have you back.
Bye.
Thank you for everything.
Is Chris still living
with you guys?
How is he?
He's...
why don't you come for dinner?
No. What'd be the point?
The point would be
to have dinner.
Just think about it okay?
Hey I'm gonna head out.
Are you okay?
Tara left me.
For good this time.
Oh man I'm so sorry.
Listen I need you
to do me a favor.
I need to get outta here.
I'm a mess can you just throw
something together for me
for that sneaker thing?
Oh actually I have a
dinner that I have to-
It won't take you long.
You just got back from vacation
you'll rock it I know it.
You run.
You swim.
You climb.
You fight.
You fall.
You get up.
And you do it all again.
Because you are a woman.
Hi.
Is everything okay?
Yeah they've been going at it
For about an hour.
MARK: It's the 21st century
and you choose birth
and Fiddler on the Roof.
Hi Gary.
Hi Gary, hi.
What's happenin'?
Gary's the midwife, midhusband?
No actually that's
funny you say that.
NORA: You are a moron.
It's labor if you just read
the articles I gave you
then you would
understand
What is sacred about it?
What is sacred oh yeah
please little tiny hippie
she male with no medical
qualifications at all
by all means deliver
my first child!
Just gonna say midwife
means with woman
so you could be a
man or a woman.
BOTH: Okay.
I'm a man.
Right.
He doesn't understand, he just
doesn't respect my opinion.
Oh come on sure he does.
No I did all this homework,
I did all this research.
I mean Gary is the
seventh rated midwife
in the tri state area.
Actually it's sixth now. Sixth.
I'm gonna... Yeah.
Well everything looks great.
I think we got a
good one coming.
So nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you to Gary.
Nora take care, I will
see you soon, yes.
Thanks Gary, thank you.
Alright, stay cool.
Okay you too.
Oh no I mean what if Mark
and I just rushed into this
I mean we hardly
know each other?
No you guys are
amazing together.
He won't even talk to Gary,
he won't listen.
He will I think he's
just probably scared.
Scared of what?
You know guys they get
squeamish and you know scared
about stuff that they
don't know about.
He did tell me that he had a
dream that Gary ate the baby.
Oh did you see Chris?
Yeah.
And?
I feel like I'm intruding.
You told him I was coming right?
You're not intruding.
You didn't tell him?
Well I don't need to tell him
he wants to see you, I
know he wants to see you
and this is my house.
Oh no.
Where's Mark?
Bathroom.
How was your trip?
It was sort of a bust.
Thanks you guys.
Hey um, did Chris tell you
that he's been
teaching me to dance?
I wanna surprise Mark
for the wedding.
Do you wanna show her?
Sure.
Okay.
It's really hard.
One, two.
Not as impressive if
you count out loud.
Ready?
Oh.
No?
No.
Oh I'm like the worst.
You'd be surprised.
You're going to soon.
Oh.
Awesome.
We gonna eat or what?
I ah, I'm gonna take
off, I gotta get going.
Oh you're, you're not
going to stay for dinner?
No sorry I gotta go.
MARK: Bye dude.
I'm so sorry I should have
told him you were coming
I guess we caught him off guard
but I know he wants to see you.
Okay
I brought my stuff down
let's find our table.
Okay, I'll carry...
We're over here.
Oh Son, we were doing the
seating chart at Nora's
and Chris was there, you
guys had just broken up so-
He didn't want to sit with me.
It's okay, you know,
why would he.
Um I'm gonna go get my music.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
I'm sure he would
love to sit with you
if he knew you wanted to.
He doesn't like me anymore.
He won't even look at me.
He proposed to you
three weeks ago,
he loves you, you're
being looney.
Listen to me, seriously,
just go talk to him.
Johnathan is with him right now.
Hi. Hi.
Hi I'm Katey.
I went to college
with Mark and Chris.
Oh hi I'm Sonia.
I was just going to
show Chris my kid
anyways so I literally
feel like I haven't slept
in two and a half years.
I swear before I'd hear
these stories about people
throwing their babies in
the garbage and what ever
and I thought animals but
now I can understand.
I mean I wouldn't obviously but,
do either of you have kids?
No.
No.
They're great.
Aw, I'm gonna get another drink.
You guys want anything?
No, thank you. I'm good.
That kid looked a
little like the devil.
NORA: Chris?
It was really good to see
you the other night.
NORA: Chris, we need
you for pictures.
Wait, please hold on.
Can I sit with you tonight?
At the dinner part.
They seated us at
different tables but
I really want to sit with you.
I really miss you.
Do I have to talk to you?
Nope. Okay, good.
I promise to love you,
take care of you,
put up with you, and
never to watch TV shows
with out you and then pretend
I haven't seen them.
Nora I...
I'm sorry I...
What she said, everything she
said is what I think to.
Well folks there you have it.
Mark, Nora I now pronounce
you husband and wife.
Mark you may kiss the bride.
So we get in tomorrow
and Lee said that
right away they greet us with
like, this crazy spread.
MARK: Oh, did she tell you
how we're gonna be rich?
SONIA: No.
I have a great
idea, it's genius.
Three ounce lube.
Till death do us part.
Come on, no I'm serious.
This is a serious idea.
Okay if you, you can get
shampoo, you can get lotion,
you can get all that
stuff in a travel size,
you can't find travel
size lube anywhere.
I spent all morning
with a eye dropper,
filling a bunch of
containers of it.
That's really what he did. Ya.
get all the lovely couples
out here on the dance floor.
It had to be you
It had to be you
I wandered around
finally found
The somebody who
Chris I'm so sorry.
For everything.
So, you had a horrible time?
Mmhmm.
And it's safe to
say it's the worst
decision you've ever made?
Do you still love me?
Of course I still
love you, you moron.
Chris, dude our song's
coming on next.
Yes.
Mmhmm.
Ya.
Yes.
Okay, not using that.
Let me get in there,
I got some catching up
to do with the girls.
Ya, ya, ya.
How cute was Mark yesterday?
So cute.
Wasn't he adorable?
Your speech was really good,
you're really good at speeches.
Hello?
No, this is him.
Oh wow.
Ya no, absolutely.
That sounds great.
Ya, no I'll get back
to you by Monday.
Thank you.
Great, bye.
What was that?
I got the google job.
You did?
Ya.
You got it? Ya.
Oh my god, that's amazing.
I didn't even know you applied.
I'm so proud of you.
What's wrong?
It's just.
What about us?
We'll figure something out.
We could see each
other on weekends,
we could meet in the middle.
Eventually you can get a
transfer to the New York office.
Ya know, we'll figure it out.
I don't want to be in a
long distance relationship.
I'm 32.
Honestly I'd rather
just, not take the job.
You can't not take the job. Why?
Because- I would
rather be with you.
This is a once in a
life time opportunity.
You can't not take the job.
What are you doing?
Don't you see we're headed right
back to where we started?
Because I'm pushing you
with this job thing?
I want you to be happy,
I want you to fulfill
your potential.
There's one thing that
will make me happy
and you know exactly
what that is.
Wait.
Wait, wait, wait.
What?
I'm amenable to the idea.
Amenable?
Yeah, yeah.
Sonia, amenable people are
amenable to paying taxes.
I don't want you
to do this for me.
But I cannot help it if
your fantasy isn't mine.
Marriage isn't a fantasy,
it's what normal people do.
Okay, well I'm sorry I'm
not normal enough for you.
I don't know what to tell you.
I love that you're not normal.
Look, we've given this
more than a fair chance.
And obviously it's
just not gonna work.
Stars are just like you and me?
I guess that's possible.
Uh, wait, wait, so
it wasn't the coach?
It was the step father.
So I have some news.
Aw ya?
We're pregnant!
We're not pregnant
but I am pregnant.
Oh my god, congratulations.
Thank you.
I'm not sure how
I feel about it,
but as you can hear,
David is very exited.
Hey.
We finally hear back from Athletica.
Okay.
They love your track.
Seriously?
Like lost their shit, loved it.
Wow, that's great, awesome.
It's more than awesome,
come on let's go celebrate.
Can I take a rain check,
I'm not feeling very well.
Oh come one.
Let's go drown our sorrows
on the Athletica tab.
Who's the boss?
Ha, okay.
marked the 20th anniversary
of the tragic death of
Nirvana's front man
Kurt Cobain.
Fans gathered all over the world
to commemorate the occasion.
I always thought I'd
be dead by thirty.
Instead here I am, almost
forty and writing jingles.
Ya, well you could look
on the bright side.
What's that.
You're not dead.
Oh all the coolest
guys died young.
James Dean, Jimmy
Hendricks, Jim Morrison.
I guess.
Jim Morrison always seemed
kinda lame to me. What?
Ya, and do you think any of
those guys were ever happy?
Happy?
Who's ever happy?
Seriously, when was the
last time you were happy?
I totally understand.
When I was trying to decide
whether to quit my food blog
or go to law school
Mark said to me
don't let the idealized
version of your self
get in the way of what
you really want to do.
What makes you happy.
Mark said that?
I know, I thought to myself
I don't really like
doing this blog,
I just love eating and it's okay
if I want to have a job where
I make enough money to,
oh he's here.
Mark could you give
me Chris's address?
Can he hear me?
A man's word is his bond.
Come on Mark.
Mark I need Chris's address
and I know that you
don't trust me right now,
but I have to see him.
I want to tell him that
I want to marry him.
Are you going to propose?
Oh my god, Mark
did you hear her?
Ya I heard her, I heard her
but I don't have the address.
But he's not there any
ways, he's in Pennsylvania
it's his grandma's
birthday, or something.
Okay, calm down.
No I, I think the baby's coming.
What? What?
Holy shit, I'm gonna get the
bag, I'm gonna get the bag.
Calmly, calmly!
I want this baby brought
into a peaceful environment.
Should I come with you?
No, no, no.
No, no, no, absolutely not. You
go do what you need to do,
I want this baby to have a
whole set of god parents.
Hey, Sonia.
Hi, oh god I still
have your book.
Don't worry about it.
I've read it before.
Where ya headed?
Harrisburg.
I gotta visit my friend.
How about you?
Well I sell medical supplies so
I'm doing the Philly
hospitals this week.
Hey.
Hey.
Is the baby here.
No, but Son, Chris is here.
What?
Chris is here.
Mark put something
up on Facebook.
Oh my god, oh shit.
Shit, shit.
Sir I'm really sorry but I
have to get off the bus.
Ma'am please take your seat.
Please sir, this
is an emergency.
I can't stop the but now,
it's against the law.
Okay sir.
Ma'am please take your seat.
Please okay, my boyfriend,
my ex boyfriend,
I'm gonna propose to him,
that's why I'm on the bus.
Shouldn't your boyfriend be
the one doing the proposin'?
He tried.
And you said no?
Yep, sort of so can
I just please.
Does he drink?
No.
Oh he hit's you?
What, no.
No, no, no, aren't we setting
the bar a little low here?
So what was the problem?
I don't know, I just
didn't know what
I wanted to do with my life.
Ya, when was young I
wanted to be a poet.
Hi. Hi.
Wow.
Say hello to baby Ellie.
Known to his friends as Bing.
Ellie Bing Gestler.
You wanna hold him?
Ya.
Should I wash my hands first?
No you'll be fine.
Oh my god.
There we go.
Oh he's so handsome.
I know. I can't
believe we made him.
His head is like a little...
It'll change.
Oh thank god I thought
it was all the pot
we smoked before we realized
Nora was pregnant.
Well I'm not sure then um
it's supposed to change.
It'll definitely change.
Okay... Okay.
Alright, I gotta get going guys.
Oh you're leaving?
Congratulations buddy.
MARK: I love you. Love you too.
Bye. Bye.
Bye baby. Bye uncle Chris.
See ya.
Chris wait.
Chris. What?
I know I'm probably way to late.
And I know you have a
whole other life going
but I have to tell
you something.
I screwed up really
badly and I'm so sorry.
Sonia, you have nothing
to be sorry about.
You didn't do anything wrong.
Plus I don't want to go there.
There's no point. No
there is a point.
There is a huge point.
Okay please can I just
show you this one thing?
It'll take one minute
and then I swear
I will never bother you again.
Thanks.
There's no sound.
There's supposed to be a song.
It had to be you
It had to be you
I've wandered around
and finally found
Somebody who
could make me be true
Could make me be blue
Make me be sad
Or even be glad
Thinking of you
Some ah some, some
Some other's I've seen
Might never be mean
Might never be cross
Or try to be boss
But they wouldn't do
Did you really do
all this for me?
I'm sorry I pushed the
marriage thing on you.
We don't have to get married.
Seriously?
Will you marry me?
Of course I will.
Chris?
Chris!
Hello?
Nora?
Hello?
Nora, hello.
Mm, it's Sonia.
I think Chris is going
to propose to me.
Son hello?
Hello.
Mm, ah Son I can't
really hear you,
call me back when you
have better reception.
I never wanted to get married.
I mean I had nothing
against it, per say.
It's just, it was never
a fantasy of mine,
and no my parents
aren't divorced
and I'm not emotionally damaged.
I grew up in a crowded
apartment in Brooklyn.
That's mom,
grandma,
dad,
and me.
I always had the nagging
sense that life was short
and I really wanted
to be somebody.
Preferably someone who
died tragically young,
leaving behind a trail
of grieving fans,
and lovers.
I just can't believe it.
Sonia this is a good thing.
I know, I know it's just I don't
think I'm ready for this.
I'm not wife material.
Look Sonia if you're really
not ready just go in there
and talk to him.
No, no, no, he's got a
whole thing in there,
it's beautiful.
Um you know what?
I know what I'll do.
I, I, I'm gonna say
yes now and then
I'm just gonna tell him
that I'm not ready later,
that's what I'll do.
Chris.
I'm so sorry, I just saw the um,
and I, umm, I, I panicked.
Panicked?
Not panicked, but I freaked out.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
I'm so sorry, I'm sorry.
It's fine, just uh...
Ow, ow.
CHRIS: Hey this is Chris.
Leave a message.
Hi Chris, it's me.
I'm so sorry,
will you please call
me when you can.
I love you, okay.
Hello?
Hi.
Oh.
You know, it's so beautiful,
I'm such a moron.
Did you run here? Mhm.
Hi. ALL: Hi.
Oh, poppy's are expensive.
He knew I liked them
from your wedding.
Nora!
What, I'm pregnant!
And a bride!
SONIA: These are
my best friends.
We all went to high
school together.
When we were younger
romance seemed simple.
All you had to do was
become a gorgeous,
independent, prostitute, and the
rest would fall into place.
In college it turned
out it wasn't PC
to want to be a prostitute.
Even one with as much self
respect as Julia Roberts.
So we reshaped our priorities.
Like the lady's of
Sex in The City,
we to were going
to make the most
of our twenties and thirties.
But it turned out
to be pretty hard,
juggling our budding
careers and a social life,
and soon we all had boyfriends.
And then suddenly Lee
married a guy who's
fortieth birthday
she'd organized
for her party planning firm.
He designed it.
SONIA: Anna married a guy
from her yoga studio.
Nora's fianc Mark was
a friend of Chris's
and we'd introduced them
only six months earlier.
I thought we were gonna wait
until we were at least
thirty to get married.
We are thirty.
He'll call.
He'll definitely call.
Hello? Is that Mark?
Did he talk to Chris?
Did you talk to Chris? Ya.
And? And he's fucked up.
This is fucked up.
You tell her about the candles?
Wha? Oh ya,
he says to tell her to
put out the candles.
Okay, I love you so much.
Okay, I love you to.
K, bye.
What'd he say?
He told Mark to remind you
to put out the candles.
Aww.
That's it?
He said he sounded
pretty broken up.
God I want to be
put into a coma.
Thank you. It had to be you
I wandered around
No.
No, come on.
No, no.
No, no, no, I don't, I
can't, I don't do that.
Come on, come on.
Oh, it's cool I didn't
like those anyways.
Sorry.
It's alright.
Back, side two,
forward three,
side four. One.
How do you know how to do this?
Mark and I started a
ballroom dancing club
in college to meet girls.
You did?
What and?
One girl signed up.
And about seven other dudes.
So we mostly just
danced with each other.
Oh my god.
I can't believe you had to start
a dance club to meet girls.
I mean Mark, ya.
But you?
Wait, wait, wait.
Alright.
Hi.
I just sort of like, wasn't
expecting it?, you know?
When we talked about
it before I told you
that I wasn't really ready yet.
That was a year ago.
What?
But we hadn't really talked
about it since then, you know?
I guess I just wanted
to surprise you.
I thought you said it
was stupid when people
talked all about it and went
and picked out the
ring together,
and just acted like it
was a big surprise.
Ha, ya, what were they thinking.
Sorry.
Sorry, they came over afterward.
So that wasn't a no yesterday?
No.
Well then what?
Do you just, need some
time to think about it?
Ya, that'd be great,
is, is that okay?
Sure.
Chocolate gives
me gas so sue me.
I gotta go to, I'm
gonna be late.
K, I'll see you later.
I'm sorry.
I'm such an asshole.
It's okay.
Probably just gonna die a
few years younger now,
that's all.
I've been proposed to.
I've been proposed to.
I've been.
I've been proposed to?
And just like that, every doubt
I've ever had about marriage
floated up in my brain,
like when people
fish with dynamite.
I worried Chris and I
weren't compatible enough.
Weren't they amazing?
The way they like seized
their fate and they just,
really did their thing.
They died.
Well ya, but that's the
price of really living.
But wouldn't you rather,
you know, live?
SONIA: Two.
I worried, well
frankly recently I
worried we didn't
have enough sex.
Or the right kind of sex.
I think that's a two sheeter.
SONIA: And three.
I always though that by
the time I got married,
I would be different.
Better, more like a real
woman, more accomplished,
cleaner, bolder, more like her.
Who was I kidding, I
mean just look at her.
She's probably
wearing a lady bra,
not a sports bra that gives
her one flat uni boob.
She probably had her light
gluten free breakfast.
She's obviously
traveled all over.
Had loads of lovers.
Hi.
This is where I work.
We write music for commercials.
You know, like na-bis-co
but also background music you
don't necessarily notice.
I try and compose as much
as I can but my actual job
is assisting the
other composers.
Morning.
I just need...
That's my boss Zack.
This, this is Christmas el.
Already?
Oh, and I put you on
the baby wash job.
This is your bio and.
This is so great,
thank you so much.
You are such a genius at this.
Yeah you are.
No seriously, this is
like the most amazing
composing website
I've ever seen.
Well it helped that you
knew what you wanted.
Oh no, was I a Hitler client?
No, no, not Hitler.
Maybe Mussolini.
Well let me get you your check.
Hey, would you maybe
want to get a drink?
Oh, I would love to but I'm
in this complicated thing.
Understood. Sorry.
No, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry, that was
inappropriate.
I guess.
A little.
Thanks.
And good luck on everything.
Seriously, you're gonna be huge.
Thank you.
He's from Wisconsin.
Or Wyoming, somewhere
in the mid west.
He really makes me laugh
and I don't know.
He's a really nice guy.
He taught his grandma
how to skype.
So why did you say no?
You said no?
Ladies.
And slide forward into
upper facing dog.
I told him I was involved
in a complicated situation.
There's nothing
complicated about it,
Zack just uses you
when he's lonely.
SONIA: Okay, so
remember my boss Zack?
He wasn't always just my boss.
In my defense, Zack was a
really musician. lented.
Plus he traveled
all over and had
these amazing stories,
like the time he saved
a little Indian boy
from a snake bite,
and was given this
sitar in gratitude.
I though you said
that you broke up?
We did.
Shh, I'm so sorry, sorry.
I became really insecure
about the audition and-
ZACH: I'm sorry.
I'm so embarrassed.
CHRIS: You should
not be embarrassed.
I thought it was great.
It wahh, god.
I've never seen
anything like that.
Ya, cuz it was terrible.
No!
I thought it was interesting.
And I thought your
music was terrific.
Really?
Ya, absolutely, I thought
it made the film.
You really think that?
A hundred percent.
You know, I'm kinda
proud of it to.
Because this director had
pushed me in this really
sort of modern, blagh,
direction you know?
It's just all, scary sounds,
and there was no
actual music music.
But I really wanted it
to have an old fashioned
theme driven vibe you know
like Hitchcock or like-
I was just gonna say that.
Really?
That's how it felt. You
were gonna say Hitchcock?
Yeah it felt like how did the
theme every time the shark
came around-Yeah.
It went brrnnrrr and...
am I butcherin' it?
What, no no no.
I just I can't sing.
You can't?
Yeah I don't I, it makes
me very self conscious
singing, dancing.
Oh well you're a lot of fun.
Yeah, you know everyone at
work makes fun of me for that
but I cannot do it, it
makes me feel naked.
So what about singing
in the shower?
Well there I'm already naked.
So my place or yours
Ahh.
Just kidding but do
you wanna come over?
Yeah, that'd be great.
CHRIS: So your parents are away?
Yep be out in a second.
Something that always confused
me in romantic movies is-
I'll go freshen up.
What do they do in there?
Am I doing the wrong thing?
Back
I meant to tell you earlier,
you look really pretty today.
Oh merci.
Umm do you want
to see my studio?
Wow this is like a real studio.
Yeah pretty much.
I've been saving up all year
and I just sound
proofed my window.
Ready?
Wow. Yeah.
I could murder you and
no one would hear it.
Oh that's in the front.
Shoulda thought of that.
Here we go.
Wow.
What?
You have really nice boobs.
Thank you, I've been told.
Not by anyone special
Not for a long time, sorry.
Let's just move on.
Okay.
What's wrong?
Something, something
fell out of you.
Oh god!
Oh god!
You okay?
Yeah that's my birth
control thing
it's called the ring
I was on the pill
but I got off it cause
it made me nuts.
Ohhh.
Oh boy.
So obviously we should
still use a condom.
Yeah, yeah, yeah of course.
Not that, you don't
seem diseased umm.
No it was actually you
that I was worried about
I was gonna say we
should use two.
Safety in numbers.
I went to the doctor
I went to the mountains
Arrgh. NORA: Driver picks.
Yeah I know but shouldn't
we be listening to Mozart
or something for the baby?
Yeah if you want the
baby to be like a weird
over achieving little freak.
Better that than a
granola lesbian.
And the less I seek my
source for some definitive
Closer I am to find it
Dude I can't believe this
whole place is yours.
I know.
It's actually the smallest
house in the neighborhood
the real estate market
just ass raped us.
Speaking of which did Nora
tell you about our mishap?
Mark. What?
Come on I wanna show you inside.
Okay.
I'm sorry it was an accident.
Uh huh.
The belly has me
all disoriented.
NORA: This is the dining room.
SONIA: Whoa, wow. I know.
This is the kitchen.
Do you think we're
like total sell outs?
First law school now this.
No, no, no.
It's just so grown up.
I know. Yeah.
Look how clean it is.
It really is impressively clean.
It was dumb of me.
I shouldn't have told
people before hand.
Now everybody at work looks
at me like I have cancer.
Fuck, so now what?
I don't know.
Guess she's thinking about it.
Well either way man I'm
sure it's not you.
Like if she says no she would
have said no to any guy.
What do you mean?
Well I'm not saying
she's a lesbian.
Look I'm no expert but most
girls are dying for this shit.
Like Nora begged me to marry her
and she was a lesbian.
She begged you?
Yeah dude, begged.
Sonia's different.
Right well that's what
I'm trying to say,
just maybe resolve
this sooner than later
because you don't wanna stick
around for another two years
if she's not going to marry you.
This is so good, I'm so
happy we found this place.
Oh, Chris can help me
dig out that stump.
Why do you need to
dig out a stump?
Because that's where
we're gonna bury
little Bing's foreskin.
It's a Jewish tradition.
No, we are not
butchering baby Ellie.
Bing.
Bing as in like, Chandler Bing?
No, Crosby.
Can I talk to you real quick.
Ya.
Sorry just, one second okay?
I just need a little time.
You know I still feel like
I need to, evolve more.
You know, like in general,
and you know at work to.
But I also was
thinking that maybe,
you know, we could
work on some stuff.
We could spice things up
a little bit, we could.
How much time do you
think you'll need?
I don't know.
Because the uncertainty
is kinda killing me here.
But it's not really
that uncertain.
Well if it's not uncertain
then can we just set a date
for our engagement for
like, a month or two?
A month, or two
months, or three.
Three?
Well what if I need six months,
what if I don't know how
long I'm gonna need?
Chris?
Then maybe we shouldn't-
be together.
You're gonna break up with me?
If I, if I don't give you
a date to get engaged by?
Look, you don't get it.
I love you and I want
to be with you forever.
I think you're perfect.
I don't think you need to...
Evolve? Evolve.
And I think we're great to.
And if you don't then maybe
we just want different
things and we always will.
Can I at least have a few
days to think about it?
This is so crazy.
Women give men ultimatums
all the time and
maybe he's right.
Maybe we're like, to different.
You guys love each other as
much as any couple I know
and before all this you guys
were doing great, right?
Did you email about google?
Hm?
Google?
I don't think I want to.
Why?
You said that that's every
nerds dream job, why?
I don't know, I'm
fine in my job here.
This is your career,
this is your whole life,
you don't want to
just be fine with it.
You are so great at what you do
you, you, you
should pursue this.
Maybe.
Ugh, maybe.
Chris, you're ugh.
Why are you getting so
worked up about this?
Because you're just, you're
like this with everything.
It's like you're okay with
everything just being okay.
Why shouldn't I be?
Because okay is like,
it's, you know.
It's like settling for
a seven out a ten.
A seven is great.
A seven it's, that's
barely passing!
If you get, if you get below a
seventy on a test, you fail.
You only live once and
you should at least try
to have everything in
your life be a ten.
That's crazy.
That's not crazy,
why is that crazy?
I think you're a ten.
I think you're more then a ten.
You do?
Of course I do.
Why, what do you think I am?
I think we just
grade differently.
I'm sorry.
It's okay.
I think you're a ten.
No, can we please just
forget it, I'm fine,
I'm fine, I just
want to forget it.
Look.
See this, this is
where I live right?
Like a really great
day, it's like a seven.
Okay?
Like the day my dad died,
it's probably a two.
And I just, I live
right in there.
You know I think you're amazing.
You do?
Yes, I've never met
anybody like you.
I think that's one of the
reasons that I don't
really care about the job thing
is because I'm so
happy with you.
Plus it's in San Francisco,
and you love New York.
I know but if you love it, we
could figure something out.
You know?
Are you still mad at me?
No, no, I just want to get
a little more work done.
But we will tomorrow, okay?
I promise.
Uh, that's how my grandma
used to kiss me.
You but what does
that mean exactly,
not all the time.
We haven't done it
in nine months.
Seriously?
Not since the baby.
Breast feeding gives women
a dry vagina. Whoa.
Anyway, you really can't
compare like that.
Every relationship is different.
Yeah, I know. I know, that's
what every body says,
but how else am I supposed
to gauge what's acceptable?
Well Chris's behavior
certainly isn't acceptable.
I don't know, I think that
he made some fair points.
If he doesn't cave, you should
defiantly get to keep the place.
What do you mean?
Well you're not gonna
let him extort
a yes out of you, are you?
It's not extortion,
an ultimatum is an acceptable
form of negotiation.
Extortion is illegal.
What?
I can't think straight.
You should talk to him.
Ya, well I left him
two messages and
he hasn't called my back.
I gotta go, I gotta go.
Hi.
I'm Laura, we ride the
same train right?
Yes, Sonia.
What'd you get?
Just some underwear.
I'm way behind on my laundry.
Oh, me to.
Did you see, there's a
sale on um, cosabellas.
Oh I've never really tried
the whole thong thing.
Oh, you know I used
to be like that to
but they're actually
totally comfortable.
And much more flattering
than you would think.
And you can't see them, not
even through a sarong.
I travel a lot for work.
of being a princess
now you have a little
princess of your own
and we understand that keeping
her clean and healthy
is the most important
thing to you.
That's why all our products
are made from the purest
organic ingredients
with no artificial
or chemical additives.
CHRIS: Breing.
Hey.
Hi Zack.
Hi, here to see Sonia?
Ya.
Is that for me?
Oh, we were flower shopping
for Nora's wedding
and they gave us
some free samples.
It was so much fun, it made
me want to get married again.
Sorry.
It's okay, it not like
I have a disease.
Smell this one.
Wow, wow.
That's what I said.
Lee said it's to strong.
I told you,
it's different when there's
one at every table.
Sonia.
Ya?
Are you wearing a thong?
No.
Yes you are.
Okay, please don't laugh at me.
I have thongs.
No, I know.
I didn't, until yesterday.
And then I picked up
the wrong bag so.
I told my friends
about the woman
from the train and how
I'd always fantasized
that by the time I got married,
I'd be more like her.
I told them that I
couldn't imagine
saying yes to Chris now,
given our different
expectations of life
and of love, and
if this meant that
he was going to dump me,
maybe that doesn't have
to be so terrible.
Maybe it could even be an
opportunity to explore
and grow, maybe even do some
traveling like that lady who
wrote Eat Pray Love.
Then do it.
Oh, I have a promotional
voucher with virgin,
we could get you a
ticket half off.
I think it's good anywhere
over the Atlantic.
So, where would you
ideally want to go?
Wait, wait, I don't.
What, it's okay.
If Chris backs out we can
just reclaim the voucher.
He's not, he's not
gonna back out.
He won't even speak to me.
Ya, okay, ya I'll
take a few days off.
Okay, so where to?
Oh you could go to
India like she did.
Paris. Rome?
Rome.
You could look up Fabrizio.
I'll see you soon. Ciao bella.
So, I guess this is goodbye.
Is a sadness you are
lesbian because,
when I first see you I
like you very much.
Hey.
Hi.
What's that?
It's an itinerary.
For you?
I'm really sorry.
I can't be engaged right now..
Son.
Just let me finish, okay?
Cuz I actually think
that it's okay.
You know, because the ultimatum
made me realize that
we want different things,
at least right now.
So I bought this ticket,
and I'm gonna go to Rome,
and do something
bold for once and.
Wait, are you saying
you don't want
to be together at all now?
Didn't you say that right?
We either get engaged.
Ya, ya, ya no.
Am I right? No, ya, right.
Right, have a great
time on your trip.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait,
what is all this?
I came here to tell you
I wanted to be with you
no matter what.
Wait, wait, wait.
What?
I don't know, don't you
ever feel like you
haven't really lived?
I feel like I was waiting
for you to start my life.
Ciao, ] Sonia Freedman.
Grazie.
Sonia.
Hi, Ciao.
Ciao bella.
Hi.
Wow how are you?
This is so nuts.
Wow, nuts I don't no-
Ah it's crazy.
Ah si, si, si.
We have a work emergenza,
maybe you help.
Okay. Yeah?
Yeah. Okay.
Sonia, Jessie my brother.
Ciao.
I'm of average height.
Perfecto.
Oh ah, oh no, no.
our model no show.
Ah, personal problem.
We do travel guides.
Oh you're missing and
H, it's a hipster.
A ipster. Hipster.
Ipster for Roma-
Hipster. Ipster Milan.
It's hipster.
Ipster.
Thank you.
Audrey in Roman Holiday.
Yeah, maybe her lesbian cousin.
Yeah you have to move
around a little bit.
Yeah just like.
Ah not so much robotic.
Do you want like
a glass of wine.
Yes, yes.
Okay, I'll be right back.
Grazie.
TV show okay.
Ah I Love Lucy, Captain Hook-
Walking Dead.
The Walking Dead.
Yeah.
Stabbing, I don't know anything
Amanda Knox.
Smurfs? The smurf girl.
Marilyn Monroe?
Oh, Jimi Hendrix.
No?
Kirk Cobain. I don't know.
It's Audrey Hepburn
in Roman Holiday.
Ah si, si.
Ah si, si pretty woman.
Hitler.
Ah fawlty towers.
Ah Charlie Chaplin.
Yes.
Miles Davis.
Hannibal Lector.
The bible or Adam and Eve.
Whooo.
Ah, gone with the wind.
I'm gonna be sick.
I'm good.
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
I don't, I don't
think I can do this.
I just I almost just got engaged
and I don't think I'm
ready for this I'm sorry.
Oh I've, I've never
done the whole
groom your private's thing.
Oh my god seriously,
I can't believe I'm
letting you do this.
Have you done this before?
My family all dabbles.
I'm an artist?
Great, yeah.
You should offer me candy
and then ask me to
get in your van.
You know like an after
school special?
Like a child molester.
Ah si, si, si.
No we no have those in Italy
is a free society
more open not so um-
We love who we love.
That just sounds like it's
okay to be a child molester
in Italy.
I kiss you now?
We kiss already no harm
we save the rest for marriage.
Okay.
Bella Sonia I had to go, I
take some money and phone.
I pay you back, I'm almost
married to and we have baby
soon, I promise her a ring
but never even have money.
Please forgive me.
And remember I like you always.
Fabrizio.
NORA: Hi this is Marc and
Nora please leave a message.
Hi Nora it's me are you there?
I really miss you guys.
So um the thing is I
think I just got robbed.
I mean I know that I did.
Hello?
Hello.
CHRIS: Hi.
Chris?
Yeah.
Hi.
CHRIS: Are you okay? Yeah.
NORA: Should I pause the movie?
Oh is that Nora?
Ah no it's the TV.
Are you alright?
Yeah, I'm fine I
just, I was an idiot
and I got robbed but when
in Rome you know
But you're okay physically?
Yeah no totally.
How are you?
I'm fine.
Oh damn it, hello?
Chris,
Hello?
So it wasn't amazing?
Um amazing?
No, but I'm glad
I went, I guess.
Dun dun dah dum.
Why didn't you take
your clothes off?
It was just to
give them an idea.
Okay well we'll have to do
something about this but-
I think you'll look gorgeous.
It's beautiful, it's beautiful.
I don't know I just don't
feel like it's me.
Honey, you would
be a burlap sack.
Yes that what I was talking
about when I said I wanted
something more canvasy.
Canvasy?
Wait are you talking
about linen?
Yes linen.
No linen is what you
wear to a beach party,
it's casual, it wrinkles.
So casual is good, please.
Why can't we just make
this whole wedding thing
more homey?
see what I can do.
So good to have you back.
Bye.
Thank you for everything.
Is Chris still living
with you guys?
How is he?
He's...
why don't you come for dinner?
No. What'd be the point?
The point would be
to have dinner.
Just think about it okay?
Hey I'm gonna head out.
Are you okay?
Tara left me.
For good this time.
Oh man I'm so sorry.
Listen I need you
to do me a favor.
I need to get outta here.
I'm a mess can you just throw
something together for me
for that sneaker thing?
Oh actually I have a
dinner that I have to-
It won't take you long.
You just got back from vacation
you'll rock it I know it.
You run.
You swim.
You climb.
You fight.
You fall.
You get up.
And you do it all again.
Because you are a woman.
Hi.
Is everything okay?
Yeah they've been going at it
For about an hour.
MARK: It's the 21st century
and you choose birth
and Fiddler on the Roof.
Hi Gary.
Hi Gary, hi.
What's happenin'?
Gary's the midwife, midhusband?
No actually that's
funny you say that.
NORA: You are a moron.
It's labor if you just read
the articles I gave you
then you would
understand
What is sacred about it?
What is sacred oh yeah
please little tiny hippie
she male with no medical
qualifications at all
by all means deliver
my first child!
Just gonna say midwife
means with woman
so you could be a
man or a woman.
BOTH: Okay.
I'm a man.
Right.
He doesn't understand, he just
doesn't respect my opinion.
Oh come on sure he does.
No I did all this homework,
I did all this research.
I mean Gary is the
seventh rated midwife
in the tri state area.
Actually it's sixth now. Sixth.
I'm gonna... Yeah.
Well everything looks great.
I think we got a
good one coming.
So nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you to Gary.
Nora take care, I will
see you soon, yes.
Thanks Gary, thank you.
Alright, stay cool.
Okay you too.
Oh no I mean what if Mark
and I just rushed into this
I mean we hardly
know each other?
No you guys are
amazing together.
He won't even talk to Gary,
he won't listen.
He will I think he's
just probably scared.
Scared of what?
You know guys they get
squeamish and you know scared
about stuff that they
don't know about.
He did tell me that he had a
dream that Gary ate the baby.
Oh did you see Chris?
Yeah.
And?
I feel like I'm intruding.
You told him I was coming right?
You're not intruding.
You didn't tell him?
Well I don't need to tell him
he wants to see you, I
know he wants to see you
and this is my house.
Oh no.
Where's Mark?
Bathroom.
How was your trip?
It was sort of a bust.
Thanks you guys.
Hey um, did Chris tell you
that he's been
teaching me to dance?
I wanna surprise Mark
for the wedding.
Do you wanna show her?
Sure.
Okay.
It's really hard.
One, two.
Not as impressive if
you count out loud.
Ready?
Oh.
No?
No.
Oh I'm like the worst.
You'd be surprised.
You're going to soon.
Oh.
Awesome.
We gonna eat or what?
I ah, I'm gonna take
off, I gotta get going.
Oh you're, you're not
going to stay for dinner?
No sorry I gotta go.
MARK: Bye dude.
I'm so sorry I should have
told him you were coming
I guess we caught him off guard
but I know he wants to see you.
Okay
I brought my stuff down
let's find our table.
Okay, I'll carry...
We're over here.
Oh Son, we were doing the
seating chart at Nora's
and Chris was there, you
guys had just broken up so-
He didn't want to sit with me.
It's okay, you know,
why would he.
Um I'm gonna go get my music.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
I'm sure he would
love to sit with you
if he knew you wanted to.
He doesn't like me anymore.
He won't even look at me.
He proposed to you
three weeks ago,
he loves you, you're
being looney.
Listen to me, seriously,
just go talk to him.
Johnathan is with him right now.
Hi. Hi.
Hi I'm Katey.
I went to college
with Mark and Chris.
Oh hi I'm Sonia.
I was just going to
show Chris my kid
anyways so I literally
feel like I haven't slept
in two and a half years.
I swear before I'd hear
these stories about people
throwing their babies in
the garbage and what ever
and I thought animals but
now I can understand.
I mean I wouldn't obviously but,
do either of you have kids?
No.
No.
They're great.
Aw, I'm gonna get another drink.
You guys want anything?
No, thank you. I'm good.
That kid looked a
little like the devil.
NORA: Chris?
It was really good to see
you the other night.
NORA: Chris, we need
you for pictures.
Wait, please hold on.
Can I sit with you tonight?
At the dinner part.
They seated us at
different tables but
I really want to sit with you.
I really miss you.
Do I have to talk to you?
Nope. Okay, good.
I promise to love you,
take care of you,
put up with you, and
never to watch TV shows
with out you and then pretend
I haven't seen them.
Nora I...
I'm sorry I...
What she said, everything she
said is what I think to.
Well folks there you have it.
Mark, Nora I now pronounce
you husband and wife.
Mark you may kiss the bride.
So we get in tomorrow
and Lee said that
right away they greet us with
like, this crazy spread.
MARK: Oh, did she tell you
how we're gonna be rich?
SONIA: No.
I have a great
idea, it's genius.
Three ounce lube.
Till death do us part.
Come on, no I'm serious.
This is a serious idea.
Okay if you, you can get
shampoo, you can get lotion,
you can get all that
stuff in a travel size,
you can't find travel
size lube anywhere.
I spent all morning
with a eye dropper,
filling a bunch of
containers of it.
That's really what he did. Ya.
get all the lovely couples
out here on the dance floor.
It had to be you
It had to be you
I wandered around
finally found
The somebody who
Chris I'm so sorry.
For everything.
So, you had a horrible time?
Mmhmm.
And it's safe to
say it's the worst
decision you've ever made?
Do you still love me?
Of course I still
love you, you moron.
Chris, dude our song's
coming on next.
Yes.
Mmhmm.
Ya.
Yes.
Okay, not using that.
Let me get in there,
I got some catching up
to do with the girls.
Ya, ya, ya.
How cute was Mark yesterday?
So cute.
Wasn't he adorable?
Your speech was really good,
you're really good at speeches.
Hello?
No, this is him.
Oh wow.
Ya no, absolutely.
That sounds great.
Ya, no I'll get back
to you by Monday.
Thank you.
Great, bye.
What was that?
I got the google job.
You did?
Ya.
You got it? Ya.
Oh my god, that's amazing.
I didn't even know you applied.
I'm so proud of you.
What's wrong?
It's just.
What about us?
We'll figure something out.
We could see each
other on weekends,
we could meet in the middle.
Eventually you can get a
transfer to the New York office.
Ya know, we'll figure it out.
I don't want to be in a
long distance relationship.
I'm 32.
Honestly I'd rather
just, not take the job.
You can't not take the job. Why?
Because- I would
rather be with you.
This is a once in a
life time opportunity.
You can't not take the job.
What are you doing?
Don't you see we're headed right
back to where we started?
Because I'm pushing you
with this job thing?
I want you to be happy,
I want you to fulfill
your potential.
There's one thing that
will make me happy
and you know exactly
what that is.
Wait.
Wait, wait, wait.
What?
I'm amenable to the idea.
Amenable?
Yeah, yeah.
Sonia, amenable people are
amenable to paying taxes.
I don't want you
to do this for me.
But I cannot help it if
your fantasy isn't mine.
Marriage isn't a fantasy,
it's what normal people do.
Okay, well I'm sorry I'm
not normal enough for you.
I don't know what to tell you.
I love that you're not normal.
Look, we've given this
more than a fair chance.
And obviously it's
just not gonna work.
Stars are just like you and me?
I guess that's possible.
Uh, wait, wait, so
it wasn't the coach?
It was the step father.
So I have some news.
Aw ya?
We're pregnant!
We're not pregnant
but I am pregnant.
Oh my god, congratulations.
Thank you.
I'm not sure how
I feel about it,
but as you can hear,
David is very exited.
Hey.
We finally hear back from Athletica.
Okay.
They love your track.
Seriously?
Like lost their shit, loved it.
Wow, that's great, awesome.
It's more than awesome,
come on let's go celebrate.
Can I take a rain check,
I'm not feeling very well.
Oh come one.
Let's go drown our sorrows
on the Athletica tab.
Who's the boss?
Ha, okay.
marked the 20th anniversary
of the tragic death of
Nirvana's front man
Kurt Cobain.
Fans gathered all over the world
to commemorate the occasion.
I always thought I'd
be dead by thirty.
Instead here I am, almost
forty and writing jingles.
Ya, well you could look
on the bright side.
What's that.
You're not dead.
Oh all the coolest
guys died young.
James Dean, Jimmy
Hendricks, Jim Morrison.
I guess.
Jim Morrison always seemed
kinda lame to me. What?
Ya, and do you think any of
those guys were ever happy?
Happy?
Who's ever happy?
Seriously, when was the
last time you were happy?
I totally understand.
When I was trying to decide
whether to quit my food blog
or go to law school
Mark said to me
don't let the idealized
version of your self
get in the way of what
you really want to do.
What makes you happy.
Mark said that?
I know, I thought to myself
I don't really like
doing this blog,
I just love eating and it's okay
if I want to have a job where
I make enough money to,
oh he's here.
Mark could you give
me Chris's address?
Can he hear me?
A man's word is his bond.
Come on Mark.
Mark I need Chris's address
and I know that you
don't trust me right now,
but I have to see him.
I want to tell him that
I want to marry him.
Are you going to propose?
Oh my god, Mark
did you hear her?
Ya I heard her, I heard her
but I don't have the address.
But he's not there any
ways, he's in Pennsylvania
it's his grandma's
birthday, or something.
Okay, calm down.
No I, I think the baby's coming.
What? What?
Holy shit, I'm gonna get the
bag, I'm gonna get the bag.
Calmly, calmly!
I want this baby brought
into a peaceful environment.
Should I come with you?
No, no, no.
No, no, no, absolutely not. You
go do what you need to do,
I want this baby to have a
whole set of god parents.
Hey, Sonia.
Hi, oh god I still
have your book.
Don't worry about it.
I've read it before.
Where ya headed?
Harrisburg.
I gotta visit my friend.
How about you?
Well I sell medical supplies so
I'm doing the Philly
hospitals this week.
Hey.
Hey.
Is the baby here.
No, but Son, Chris is here.
What?
Chris is here.
Mark put something
up on Facebook.
Oh my god, oh shit.
Shit, shit.
Sir I'm really sorry but I
have to get off the bus.
Ma'am please take your seat.
Please sir, this
is an emergency.
I can't stop the but now,
it's against the law.
Okay sir.
Ma'am please take your seat.
Please okay, my boyfriend,
my ex boyfriend,
I'm gonna propose to him,
that's why I'm on the bus.
Shouldn't your boyfriend be
the one doing the proposin'?
He tried.
And you said no?
Yep, sort of so can
I just please.
Does he drink?
No.
Oh he hit's you?
What, no.
No, no, no, aren't we setting
the bar a little low here?
So what was the problem?
I don't know, I just
didn't know what
I wanted to do with my life.
Ya, when was young I
wanted to be a poet.
Hi. Hi.
Wow.
Say hello to baby Ellie.
Known to his friends as Bing.
Ellie Bing Gestler.
You wanna hold him?
Ya.
Should I wash my hands first?
No you'll be fine.
Oh my god.
There we go.
Oh he's so handsome.
I know. I can't
believe we made him.
His head is like a little...
It'll change.
Oh thank god I thought
it was all the pot
we smoked before we realized
Nora was pregnant.
Well I'm not sure then um
it's supposed to change.
It'll definitely change.
Okay... Okay.
Alright, I gotta get going guys.
Oh you're leaving?
Congratulations buddy.
MARK: I love you. Love you too.
Bye. Bye.
Bye baby. Bye uncle Chris.
See ya.
Chris wait.
Chris. What?
I know I'm probably way to late.
And I know you have a
whole other life going
but I have to tell
you something.
I screwed up really
badly and I'm so sorry.
Sonia, you have nothing
to be sorry about.
You didn't do anything wrong.
Plus I don't want to go there.
There's no point. No
there is a point.
There is a huge point.
Okay please can I just
show you this one thing?
It'll take one minute
and then I swear
I will never bother you again.
Thanks.
There's no sound.
There's supposed to be a song.
It had to be you
It had to be you
I've wandered around
and finally found
Somebody who
could make me be true
Could make me be blue
Make me be sad
Or even be glad
Thinking of you
Some ah some, some
Some other's I've seen
Might never be mean
Might never be cross
Or try to be boss
But they wouldn't do
Did you really do
all this for me?
I'm sorry I pushed the
marriage thing on you.
We don't have to get married.
Seriously?
Will you marry me?
Of course I will.