It Should Happen to You (1954) Movie Script

The field is all at the gate...
...headed straightaway
for this feature race.
The track fast, weather clear,
six furlongs out of the chute.
The flag is up.
We may get a start any moment.
Battling Fur at a little fraction.
And there they go.
Channel Boy breaks on top,
Picassio's away at second...
...Harper's Ferry third.
That's all you gotta do, girlie?
- What?
- Feeding pigeons, for crying out loud.
- Why?
- Why not?
- What?
- What a park.
- Would you care for a peanut?
- Would I what for?
Peanut? Care for?
- I bothering you?
- No.
okay. So why you wanna bother me?
What a park.
You said it. A person can't
even open their mouth in it.
Hey, how about you shut up? We're
trying to play a serious game here.
Look, girlie, I don't mind
a pickup once in a while...
...only I like to do the picking, see?
How'd you like to watch
some of your language?
- Who are you?
- Nobody, that's who.
So, what are you trying
to make a big stink?
- Who, me?
- Sure, you. Not who.
Comes in, walking in barefooty,
sits down on the top of me...
- Top of?
- ... starts throwing around peanuts...
...gets all them dusty birds over.
Top it off, she tries to pick me up,
as if I ain't got enough troubles now.
Listen, how'd you like
a good smack in your face?
- Why don't you try it.
- ecause it's too hot's why.
What a park.
- How'd you like that?
- Not bad. A real interesting shot.
Is there a water fountain
around here?
Yeah. Come on, I'll show you.
My whole throat's dry
from getting so mad.
No, no. Probably from
the peanuts, no doubt.
- Have one?
- Thanks.
What'd you say about a shot?
Movie shot, grabbed it
while you were screeching.
- What's the idea?
- It's my business. Documentaries.
- What's that?
- Well, I make movies.
only they're about real things.
People, places, things.
This one I'm working on now
is about Central Park.
Well, I'm glad you think
I'm a real thing.
Have a drink. on me.
What are you doing,
following me around?
Let's go, sunshine.
What a park!
- You think he'll be all right?
- I doubt it.
- okay, son?
- I'm thirsty.
Come on, Michael.
- Ma, can I have a dime?
- No, Michael.
I'm losing my patience with you.
I wanna get a bottle of soda.
I'm thirsty.
No, Michael.
Youve had enough to drink.
No. I'm losing my patience with you.
Wait till your father hears
about this day.
Are you a New Yorker?
only since about less than two years.
Are you?
Ten years, still not used to it.
I'm from Westfield, New Jersey.
The one thing I can't understand
about New York... why everybody here's
so unfriendly.
Ive wondered too.
Where are you from?
inghamton. Upstate New York.
- Pete Sheppard. How do you do?
- Thank you.
- Well, do you have a name?
- of course.
- Yeah?
- Gladys Glover.
- Glad to know you, Gladys.
- Thank you.
- Gladys Glover, huh?
- It's not much of a name.
- Why do you say that?
- ecause nobody ever heard of it.
And I guess nobody ever will.
- You mind that?
- of course.
You're on the young side
when that seems so important.
- After a while, you won't care so much.
- Sure, because then it'll be too late.
What's your line?
Well, since this morning
about 11:30, nothing.
I got canned on account
of three-quarters of an inch.
- Around the hips.
- Well, think of that.
I had this good job
modeling girdles.
- You know what they are?
- Well, sure.
This designer and the boss
got into a whole hassle...
...on account of a couple of wrinkles.
ack and forth. ack and forth.
I was in the middle.
So the designer says the girdle's
the right size, I'm the wrong size.
So the boss says, " I'll bet you $50."
So Mr. ostrander took the bet.
He's a designer.
They got out a tape measure.
Just my luck. This morning,
three-quarters of an inch too much.
So it wouldve been all right,
except on account of losing the $50.
The boss tells me to go get my time.
I wouldn't get discouraged.
Sometimes you lose a job
just to get a better one.
I don't know.
I just wanna think it over.
I mean, the whole thing over.
That's why I came here to the park.
I always think
I can think better in the park.
That's why I took my shoes off.
I always think better with my shoes off.
You ever notice that?
on or off, I have trouble.
ut what I have to think about... if I should stay in New York in
the first place, or else go back home.
I mean, you take New York.
You never meet anybody to talk to...
...unless it's somebody
you happen to know...
...or somebody fresh or looking
for something they're not entitled to.
It's an extremely unfriendly
If you only knew how long it took me
to save up the $1000.
- What $1000?
- That I saved up.
The reason I came to New York was
to try and make a name for myself.
And I haven't even
gotten started on it.
I'm getting nowhere.
You know what I mean?
Some people,
when they get to that point...
...where they realize
that they're getting nowhere...
...they just kill themselves.
ut I don't feel like it.
Well, that is a fairly drastic step.
The only other thing
is to go back home.
Do the same thing
as everybody else.
Go back to work in the shoe factory.
Marry the first man that asks.
or the second.
And then...
...goodbye " name for yourself. "
Goodbye dreams.
In fact, goodbye, Charlie.
If you'll forgive me, Gladys...
...I'd better get back
to being gainfully employed.
- Thanks for the peanuts.
- You're more than welcome.
Say, if you'd care to give me
your address...
...I could drop you a postcard and
show you this picture when it's done.
I'd give my right arm
to see myself in the movies.
Just give me your right address.
-262 West 61 st.
- Yeah? Fine.
Room nine.
Well, so long, Gladys.
I saw that in a French movie last week.
Ive been meaning to try it ever since.
Good luck to you, Gladys. I sure
hope you make a name for yourself.
- If that's what you want, you'll get it.
- How?
It's just a theory of mine that not only
where there's a will, there's a way...
...but where there's a way,
there's a will. See?
- So long.
- Thanks.
- Yes?
- What?
I want to see Mr. Pfeiffer, please.
- Who?
- Mr. Horace Pfeiffer.
- Isn't this his place?
- This is the Horace Pfeiffer Company.
ut there is no Mr. Pfeiffer.
- Excuse me.
- Just what was this in reference to?
About the sign on Columbus Circle.
It says it's for rent.
Well, so who do I see in reference to it
if there's no Mr. Pfeiffer like you say?
Well, one moment.
Well, that's Mr. Entrikin.
Walk down the hall and turn left,
on the floor below.
No, no. I don't want
the average space.
Give me the exact footage
on each location.
What was that? All right, go ahead.
Good morning. Have a chair.
Thank you.
Go ahead.
It's about the sign space you have
for rent over there in Columbus Circle.
How many? All right.
oh, yes, the double bulletin board.
I don't know what you call it.
It's pretty big, all right.
Right. I'll take it up with C.D.
Yes, that's available.
How much do you charge to rent it?
Well, now, just whom
do you represent?
oh, just myself.
I see.
ut what's your idea?
of what?
- of making this inquiry.
- oh, I'm not making any inquiry.
I just wanna rent that sign.
That is, if it isn't too expensive.
I see.
Well, it's something personal,
if that's what you mean.
I'm sorry, but I'm too busy
for this sort of thing.
What sort of thing?
What's the matter?
Well, here's to pay for it with
and everything.
See if you can get an option.
of course, if you're too stuck-up...
...or you think it's right to treat
somebody like some kind of a nut.
Call you back.
I just happened to be walking along
and the sign said "for rent"...
...and it said your name
and your address, so I want it.
So you say you haven't got the time.
What kind of a place is this anyway?
The space rate on that location
is $210 per month.
Three months minimum.
- Yes?
- Never mind 11.40. 11.30's all right.
- I'll take it.
- What?
What's the matter?
Nothing. Nothing.
Wait a second.
Wait a minute.
Hey. Hey, painters.
Wait a minute. Hey.
Hey, sign painters, listen.
Hey, listen.
- What's that?
- G. G.
- What'd she say?
- " oh, gee. "
Not C, like you got it.
G, like you haven't got it.
" Not C, like you got it.
G, like you haven't got it. "
Look at the paper.
" Look at the paper. "
Sure enough.
- Thanks, lady.
- Thank you.
Please, faster.
I don't want excuses.
I just want that space.
ut, Mr. A dams, you said
you'd call me by Monday.
- What about it?
- Well, you didn't.
- Well, what about it?
- Well, then I phoned you.
And they said that you were still away
on your weekend.
- oh, they did?
- So I tried again on Tuesday-
All right, all right.
Then I just assumed
you'd lost interest.
You know that
the A dams Soap Company...
...has always used that space
for every summer campaign.
You know how my father
feels about that space.
- He's very partial to it.
- I know-
Why don't we all watch
our blood pressure, Mr. A dams.
- I'm sure it can be arranged.
- Nothing to it.
Don't smooth me, gentlemen.
Right now he tells us
it's tied up for three months.
- Excuse me.
- Yes, but I'm quite sure that as soon-
Send her right in, please.
She's here. Troubles are over.
Sit down, Miss Glover.
Sit down.
Go ahead.
Now, Miss Glover, thank you
very much for coming up.
I told you on the phone that you
wouldn't regret it, and you won't.
These gentlemen are terribly keen
to use that Columbus Circle space...
...which you have tied up right now.
Now, they're fully aware
that in asking you to give it up...
...they're probably interfering
with some plans which you have.
After all, nobody hires display space
just to put their name on it.
What they're prepared to do is this.
And in my opinion,
it's a very handsome offer indeed.
Reimburse you to the full extent
of what youve spent so far...
...and in addition,
make you a bonus of-
I think the figure mentioned
was $500.
I don't think so.
oh, this is Mr. Evan A dams lll.
Miss Gladys Glover.
- How do you do?
- How do you do, Mr. A dams lll?
- Why not?
- Why not what?
Would you care to make
a counterproposal, Miss Glover?
What's that?
Well, if you won't accept 500,
what would you accept?
oh, nothing.
Come now. Surely you have
some figure in mind.
No, I haven't.
You would take 5 million,
wouldn't you?
oh, certainly.
Now, somewhere between 500
and 5 million...
...there must be
an acceptable figure.
I don't wanna do this. In 73 days more,
the whole thing will be over...
...and then you can have it back
and do whatever you want.
I don't like being hollered at.
What'd I do anyway?
Excuse me.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Hello!
- Hello.
Well, what are you doing
around here anyway?
I live here.
- Where?
- Room 7.
- Since when?
- Today.
Gee, that's great.
I wasn't figuring on this much
of a welcome.
You're welcome.
What's happened to you?
Last time, you were ready for the river.
That's over now. I'm fine.
I haven't changed.
I'm the same as I was before.
- only in a different way.
- I see.
- Well, I have to go up now.
- Yeah, so do I.
Say, you happen to be over around
Columbus Circle lately this week?
Why don't you go up there
- What for?
- oh, look around.
- A t what?
- Different things.
Such as what?
Different signs.
- Signs?
- Sure.
- Don't you ever look at signs?
- I suppose.
Take my word. If you go up there
around Columbus Circle...'ll see something.
Is it possible youve been out
in the sun too much today?
- Well, not me personally, no.
- What?
Is that your room, seven?
- You like to see it? My room?
- All right.
Not really settled down yet.
- What kind of view is it from here?
- oh, enchanting.
What's a good place
to eat around here?
- Room nine.
- I meant for me.
Glad to have you anytime.
I couldn't do that,
unless you let me take you out-
Sure. Why not?
- Well, what about tonight?
- okay.
- Fine.
- You wanna see my room?
Sure thing.
My view wasn't so beautiful
last week...
...but this week it's sensational.
Notice anything?
No. What?
What's the matter
with your eyesight?
You got any ideas for after dinner?
I thought it would be nice
to go over to Columbus Circle...
...and sit around.
Well, sure, if you want to.
ut that doesn't sound like
entertainment to me.
- Wait and see.
- Gladys?
- I-
- Yes?
oh, excuse me.
- Did you get your message?
- No.
I left it by the phone.
You have to call Mr. A dams.
- The third?
- No, he only called twice.
Excuse me.
I guess you two
are pretty old friends, huh?
oh, yes, indeed.
I hear you have a movie machine
in there.
oh, that's right.
I'll show you some
fascinating documentaries.
Don't do me no favours.
Pay your rent 5:00 Fridays... radio after 11,
and we'll get along fine.
Well, sure, but I mean,
what's the point, Mr. A dams?
Well, I know, but it's not
a question of any deal.
Well, sure, I'm open-minded.
No. Why should I have
anything against you?
What kind of a break?
okay, 7:30.
oh, look, about tonight,
I'm sorry, but I can't.
It's sort of business,
you know what I mean.
Well, sure, if it's business.
Well, maybe tomorrow night.
No. I have to go to Westfield
for a couple days. Family stuff.
And I won't be back
till Friday morning.
- All right, what about Friday lunch?
- okay.
Wish you'd told me before
I got my hair brushed.
- I'm sorry.
- Yes, I am too.
I was looking forward to a big evening
sitting around Columbus Circle.
Pete, listen.
Everything's beginning
to go great for me, just great.
In a way, it's all on account of you.
- It is?
- Something you said.
Well, it made me do
something I did.
- And, well, that's why.
- Well, that's fine.
- So thank you very much.
- It was really nothing.
- Thank you.
- What for?
- For coming out this way.
- What way?
- I mean, I appreciate it.
- So do I.
oh, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait.
oh, no, wait.
- Wait. Where are you going?
- What is it?
Aren't you gonna go
around Columbus?
- What for?
- To see it.
- It?
- What this whole date's about.
- What?
- What Ive got that you want.
- What youve got-?
- The sign.
oh, the sign. Yes. Yes, of course.
Every time I see it,
I get a bigger one than last time. oot.
- Would you drive around once more?
- A pleasure.
If you knew what it means to me... it makes me feel and all...
If you knew,
you wouldn't ask me for it.
Not even for your own soap.
- I have another idea.
- Like?
- Well, I-
- once more?
- What?
- Around once more.
ut just once more.
I'm getting a little hungry.
What's food?
Now, what I had in mind was this...
...that we share the sign.
Then we'd all be happy.
I'm happy now.
When you think that last week
I was nobody...
...and this week Ive got my name
on that big sign...
...and dancing in a place like this
where everybody's somebody.
- You said something up at the office.
- Yeah.
- Something about 73 days more?
- From tomorrow, 72.
Now, my idea is this.
If you split the space with us,
you could be up there for six months.
- I could?
- I'd see to it.
In writing?
If you like.
only not in such big letters, huh?
Well, no.
- Look!
- What?
- Walter Winchell.
- oh, yeah.
That makes the seventh big name
Ive seen tonight.
What a night.
- Well, good night.
- Good night.
- Thank you very much.
- Not at all.
I had a real good time.
- Unusual.
- So did I.
- Well, good night.
- Good night.
- Well, good night.
- Good night.
Well, this is it.
- What?
- Where I live.
- oh, good.
- So I guess I better go in.
Very well.
- ecause it's pretty late.
- Yes, it is.
And besides, I don't think
your car's safe down there.
- No?
- You don't know this neighbourhood.
They don't need keys,
not around this neighbourhood.
I'm scared you'll lose your car.
I have another one.
Shall we?
- See that?
- What?
You better go.
- I'll call you tomorrow.
- okay, but-
ut I don't think I wanna
give up my sign.
- Yes?
- open up.
- Who is it, please?
- open up.
- What do you think-?
- I wanna talk to you.
- What about?
- That thing up in Columbus Circle.
I went over there, all right.
First off, I couldn't believe my eyes.
Then I thought, "What a gag. "
Since then, I have been thinking
about it, and it gets my goat.
I smoked a pack and a half
of cigarettes trying to figure it out.
- What out?
- And you.
Cost money, doesn't it?
- Certainly.
- Where'd you get it?
It's my own. I saved it up.
And is that the best
you can think of to do-?
What sort of a fruitcake
are you anyway?
No sort of.
- So kindly get out of my room, please.
- With pleasure.
It's none of your business.
- It is if there's a maniac on the loose.
- I'm no maniac-
Just once, every so often,
something really gets my goat.
And this is one!
To think I actually know a grown-up,
civilized woman...
...who can take her hard-earned cash,
just take it and throw it away...
...on a nonsense,
as though it were garbage!
You hear me ask you what you do
with your money?
- Don't bother, I haven't even got any.
- All I did-
All I did is happen to meet you
in the park, by accident.
So I don't see where that gives you
the right to tell me off.
And furthermore, different people
do different things...
...that may seem crazy
to other different people...
...but that doesn't make it.
And furthermore,
do me a favour and butt out!
- Would you do me a favour?
- Like what?
- Remember my name?
- Sure, Pete Sheppard.
Well, do me a favour and forget it!
- Is it still on for Friday lunch?
- Certainly!
- Thank you very much!
- Don't mention it!
So the point that we're trying
to make is just this...
...that there's no reason
for you to be unreasonable.
I don't think I'm unreasonable.
- You don't?
- No.
I think I'm reasonable.
You're the ones that are " un. "
- Wait a minute. Here's something.
- Where?
Would this be a solution?
Supposing we gave you two signs
in trade for this one?
Possibly three?
How big?
I don't know offhand.
We'd have to look into it.
- ut not as big as this one, huh?
- Possibly not, no.
- No soap.
- What?
After all, Gladys- Miss Glover,
the size of the sign doesn't matter.
- No?
- No.
No, it's the location.
Now, what if we found you
four fine locations...
...and fitted them up for you?
How about six?
- Very well, six.
- And where?
Let me have the chart,
will you, please?
Now, let's see.
There's a fine one on 47th Street.
- Well...
- Most desirable.
And one in the 42nd Street
subway station.
- Well...
- Then there's one on the West Side.
- Yeah?
- And one on the East Side.
- Yeah?
- And one in Grand Central Station.
So now I'm all over the place.
This may be the best lamb chop
I ever had.
one of them's an electric sign.
Did I say that?
You sure know what
to do with chops.
I bet if I held out for eight signs
instead of six, I wouldve got eight.
Fish is what I like.
Did you ever go down
to the Fulton Fish Market?
- No.
- I'd like to take you down there.
- How about tomorrow night?
- Fine.
And on the way down,
you can look at some of my signs.
The Central Park picture's
practically finished.
- Really?
- I just need to get some music.
- I'm dying to see it.
- Next week.
- You know what would be nice?
- What?
If you took pictures of some
of my signs and put it in.
You certainly are one fine cook,
I bet I'm the only cook that's got her
name up on six signs all over New York.
What's the point of it? Where's it
getting you? No place.
No place?
I started out with no signs,
so then I got one sign... then I got six.
So where do you get " no place"?
I don't know what it is, honey,
but I cannot get through to you.
Let me put it this way.
What most people, real people,
want is privacy.
That's about the best thing
anybody can have.
Not me.
- What is this craze to get well-known?
- Why " craze"?
Do you think everybody is so anxious
to be above the crowd?
- Yes.
- ut what's the point of it?
In the first place, everybody can't be
above the crowd, can they?
No. ut everybody can try
if they want to.
ut why isn't it more important to learn
how to be a part of the crowd?
Not me.
It isn't just making a name.
Don't you understand that?
It's making a name stand
for something.
- Names stand for different things.
- So who said not?
- Want my opinion?
- No.
My opinion is this. It's better
if your name stands for something...
...on one block than if it stands
for nothing all over the entire world.
I don't follow your point.
I wish you could. This thing is getting
more in our way every day.
What do you mean " in our way"?
I mean that...
There's a lot of things,
sensible things we could... about and do and try for...
...but I can't seem
to get you down to Earth.
What's so wonderful about Earth?
Well, when this whole thing is over...
...when the bubble bursts,
I'll show you.
Do you like me?
I sure do, except for one thing.
Well, if you do, don't you be
the one to burst the bubble.
And another thing.
- Could I ask you one question?
- Sure, Gladys.
Would you come out
and look at one sign?
est coffee I ever had
in my whole mouth.
I think that one's my favourite.
- Why?
- I don't know.
It's so...
So clear.
- Let's go.
- Wait. I wanna buy a few things.
Some towels.
Well, buy me one too,
for my head.
- Could I help you, madam?
- Yes, please. I want six of these.
- You'll take them with you?
- No, CoD.
- Name?
- Gladys Glover, G-L-o-V-E-R.
- A ddress?
-262 West-
- What?
- Did you say Gladys Glover?
- That's right.
- Are you her? Yourself?
- That's right.
- Well, for heaven's sake.
- Why?
Well, we were wondering
all last week about that.
- Miss Glover, would you mind?
- What?
Would you mind signing this
for my little niece?
She collects them.
She'll get the biggest kick.
- Harold! Guess who this is.
- Yes?
- I give up.
- It's Gladys Glover.
- No kidding.
- Why should I?
- Who?
- Don't know, dear.
- Gladys Glover.
- oh? Who's she?
- See?
- My, my.
She gave me her autograph, Harold.
- Would you mind?
- of course not.
Me too.
- Would you sign here?
- Will you sign this?
- Who is it?
- I don't know.
Please, Gladys,
let me have your autograph.
You got a pencil I can borrow
for a minute?
- It's Gladys Glover.
- Gladys Glover!
I must get her autograph.
Hey, quit shoving.
I was here before you!
Me next, Gladys.
Do you mind, Miss Glover,
signing my book?
- Who is it?
- Nobody, believe me.
St. Louis 11, Philadelphia 8.
Now for the National League.
There were only three games today.
Philadelphia at Milwauk ee
was rained out.
The Giants defeated Chicago 5 to 3.
Cincinnati beat St. Louis 10 to 9.
Three days more...
...and I'm nobody again.
Yeah, but I'll show you
how to enjoy that.
If I only had the money.
It isn't a question of money,
believe me.
I could have been on the covers
of matchboxes, pencils...
...anything you can think of.
We're gonna have a long talk
in a few days, Gladys.
In fact, several other talks.
- In fact, we may end up talking-
- What about?
- What do you think?
- Why not now?
ecause this is important.
And Ive got to wait
till I'm sure...
...that your ears and eyes
and your everything...
...are just a little more ready to-
- Gladys Glover.
- Yeah?
Gladys Glover.
Gladys Glover.
Mean anything to you?
He's talking about me.
Well, it's the subject for your
Manhattan Nightcap for tonight.
New York ers are speculating
as to the answer... one of the most unimportant
questions of the day.
Namely, who or what
is Gladys Glover?
Did you hear that?
Signs bearing this mysterious name
are appearing all over our town.
ut it's this department's guess
that Gladys Glover... a second cousin
to the famous ilroy.
That's 30 for tonight, friends.
See you tomorrow.
- Good show tonight, rod.
- Naturally, thanks.
Telephone, rod.
Yeah? Speaking.
Who? oh, can it.
Who is this?
It is?
Gladys Glover in person.
Well, insulting in what way?
Well, now, you can't blame folks
for wondering, now, can you?
Say, where are you anyway,
and how long you gonna be there?
No, I just wanted to get the rest
of the story.
Yeah, fine.
I'll be right down.
Gladys Glover?
The mystery woman!
Correction. For " mystery woman"
read " screwball. "
I'll let you know.
- eep going, sweetie.
- Well, that's about all.
Except I was telling Pete...
...if I had money,
I couldve made myself...
...into one of the most
well-known people around.
Let me ask you something, Glover.
What if I could plant you around
a few spots? You know, radio, TV.
- Would you do it?
- Do what?
- Go on.
- Yeah, but do what once I'm on?
- Look, Gladys-
- I don't know.
Maybe just tell your story.
It's funny.
- Funny?
- Well, fascinating.
- I might get scared?
- No, you wouldn't get scared.
- I think so. I better not.
- Yeah, that's right.
Might be some cash in it.
There would?
Might. of course,
I'd expect my cut.
oh, sure. Why not?
You're not hooked up
in any way?
How do you mean?
Well, like engaged or
engaged to be engaged.
- Look, mister-
- Wait a second. Why?
I was just thinking,
there's this TV turn.
They call it Man and Wife.
You get married on the program.
- I understand it's quite a haul.
- Really?
- What are you looking at?
- I don't know.
Gladys, please don't get mixed up
in anything more.
You wanna turn into a freak?
How do you-?
There's The People Speak.
They're looking for goofballs.
- You hear? You're a goofball.
- Now, that's just a figure of speech.
I happen to know this fella
who runs the program.
Let me sound him,
see what happens, okay?
Go ahead, sound.
Ladies and gentlemen,
you have just heard the story...
...of three very great
and very brave men.
And so another miracle is entered
into the annals of exploration.
Gentlemen, thank you
for an inspiring story.
- Now?
- When he gives you a wave.
And here she is,
the gal who believes in signs.
Come on.
Everyone wants to be famous,
don't you?
Everyone would like to see their name
in lights, wouldn't you?
ut as Mark Twain once said
about the weather:
" Everybody talks about it,
but nobody does anything about it. "
Well, Gladys Glover is one girl who
decided to do something about it.
ut let's get her own story
in her own words.
Well, Gladys,
how did you get this idea?
" It just came to me.
I was walking along, and I happened
to feel on the blue side.
And I just lost my job, and I realized
that I certainly was a failure.
And I realized how the whole reason
I came to New York in the first place...
...was to see if I could not make
a name for myself.
And time was going by,
and I was not getting any younger.
And it looked like I never would.
And so then I saw this big-"
And then what happened?
" And so then I saw this big sign
up there on Columbus Circle.
And all of a sudden, I seemed
to see my name on it. "
That's happened
to many of us, I'm sure.
" oh, yes.
And so then I...
...began to wonder how much
it would cost.
So I went down and asked the man,
and this is how it started.
I was in a store and somebody who
saw my sign asked for my autograph.
That was some thrill,
and this is too. "
You mean, being with us
on The People Speak?
"That's right. Some thrill. "
Thank you, Gladys Glover.
And another thrill is
I'm gonna get paid for it too.
Indeed you are.
Indeed you are.
Do you mind telling us what
you're gonna do with the money?
I'm gonna rent a lot more signs
and put my name on them.
Thank you very much.
- She's all yours, man.
- You were great, honey.
Just do that all the time. Just say
whatever comes into your head.
okay, whatever.
So the real value of discussion,
say, on a program lik e this...
...or this sort, for example,
is the point of view...
All she's got is nerve,
far as I can see.
Maybe that's all you need nowadays.
Four programs in one week.
She's making a name for herself.
Well, to get back to our topic.
A t what age should a girl marry?
It seems to me, Dr. Manning,
that it's very dangerous to generalize.
We have found now after many,
many years-
I quite agree with llka.
I know lots of girls who've been
married at 16, and very happily too.
Well, statistics show us that
an early marriage-
Connie, for a certain type,
maturity is terribly important.
- If you consider-
- Gladys, what do you think?
I think, if they're big enough,
they're old enough.
ut, now, seriously, Dr. Manning.
Don't you feel that the laws
governing this whole matter...
- ... are very outmoded?
- If you mean-
of course, llka.
Most of them were written
too long ago.
And by men.
Then, of course, there is the whole
question of the parents' consent.
To do what?
- May I just read-?
- I'm terribly sorry. our time is up.
Good night, and thank you
so much, Dr. Manning.
This is llka Chase saying
good night.
- Give me a double.
- A double what?
A double anything.
What do I care?
Anybody suggested to me
that this Gladys Glover thing...
...was gonna mushroom like this,
I wouldn't have believed it.
That's just the point.
We're more or less responsible
for starting the whole promotion.
- So why don't we get the benefit of it?
- What's the angle?
The average American girl.
There's a lot of penetration there.
Something the customer
can identify with.
Right. It's a whole new approach
to the endorsement angle.
Who endorses products now?
Movie stars, opera singers,
debutantes, six-day bicycle riders.
The whole thing's been done to death.
How's this?
"Stars use it. Celebrities too.
ut more important...'s the favourite of average American
girls such as Miss Gladys Glover. "
- I don't think she's so average.
- Why not?
- ecause she's unusual.
- That's what you don't seem to realize.
- What?
- The average American girl is unusual.
- How's that again?
- Exactly.
- He's got something there, .P.
- Wait a minute. Wait.
I see a big campaign...
...with photographs by,
say, Con Cooley.
That's enough.
That's it.
Not too languorous.
Now, give us a smile.
eep it " Glover. " That's it.
Good, good. Hold it.
Now, let's have the pose.
Now, let's have the smile.
That's good. That's fine.
Plenty of movement now.
That's it. Winter sports!
Smile again.
Enjoy yourself. Relax.
All right! Now, don't get excited.
Take it easy.
Is she all right?
Is she all right?
okay, babe? You're all right.
Don't be nervous.
Everything is fine. You can't fall.
That's a girl. All right,
let's go, fellas. Come on.
- You all right, Con?
- Smile.
Smile, now. That's a girl. Plenty of
movement. Come on. Enjoy yourself.
Smile. Now, let's make this
a good one.
Fine, fine. Come on, smile.
Come on, Gladys! Look lovable!
I'm pooped.
You know how much
you earned today?
What's the difference?
I'm too tired to count it.
What you need is a nice,
long, cool drink.
or a nice, long, cool sleep
would be better still.
How would it be if we stopped
up at my place?
- I don't know. How would it be?
- Excellent.
I get a wonderful breeze up there
from the river. We could relax...
- ... talk things over.
- What things?
oh, different things.
Different things from what?
As a matter of fact,
there's something...
There's something important.
I ought to take it up
with you tonight. It can't wait.
- It can't?
- No.
It's about a big cross-country personal
appearance tour that I had in mind.
- For me?
- That's right.
oh, I can't tonight.
Ive got a date, sort of.
oh, to do what?
To drive out to Westfield, New Jersey,
and meet these certain people.
That's a big drive
after a long day's work.
Yeah, but I promised this person
to meet these people.
What about our conference?
You see, I'd have to go to the board
first thing in the morning.
If I don't, it'll be another two weeks.
Then it'll be too late.
Too late for the cross-country
Well, for the arrangements.
- ... maybe I could ask.
- That's the way.
- That's right.
- Great little car.
- I like it.
- I like it too.
What's a car like this worth?
oh, about 5000.
- Why? Do you want to buy it?
- Yes, I do.
only, I don't have 5000 on me just
now, and I don't get paid until Friday.
That's too bad.
You wouldn't take $11 and about
30 cents? I do have that on me.
- No.
- I didn't think you would.
- Hey, that's a nice shirt you got on.
- What?
- I don't wanna buy it. I just noticed it.
- Thank you.
I'm a great friend of Gladys.
- oh, is that so?
- Yes, it is so.
- She's a fine girl, Gladys.
- I'm not so sure.
- No?
- I'm still thinking it over.
There's quite a lot to her on the one
hand, but on the other hand, no.
- What did you say your name was?
- I didn't say.
- Sheppard.
- A dams.
I know. You're the fellow
she's working for.
- Well, I wouldn't put it that way.
- Well, what way would you put it?
Just trying to help her get
what she seems to want.
- How's is she making out?
- eautifully.
How are you making out?
- I can't complain.
- I can.
- What?
- You wanna hear me?
No, thank you.
Well, goodbye and bad luck,
Mr. A dams. I enjoyed our little chat.
Thank you.
- Yes, who is it?
- Me.
I knocked at your door.
I wanna see you.
- Well, youve already seen me.
- What?
You saw me, but didn't see me. I was
on the stoop. You went right by.
- oh, I'm sorry.
- There's this fellow waiting downstairs.
I know. Could you do this?
It's stuck again.
- Should I tell him to go?
- Well, he's waiting for me.
- He is?
- That's one of the things...
...I wanted to tell you. We have to
do the Westfield thing another time.
It's sort of business.
Look, Gladys, any other kind of date,
you wanna break it, okay.
ut this has been set up
for a week.
And when I go to the trouble of calling
my mother, and she fixes us dinner...
...and my father probably
even shaved.
- Maybe tomorrow night?
- Dinner will be cold by then.
- I feel just terrible.
- You should!
I have to tonight,
for the board of directors.
- What?
- A cross-country personal appearance.
I don't know what you're talking about,
and neither do you!
Please don't be nasty.
I'm so tired.
You're not too tired
to see junior down there.
- Listen, Pete, I'm over 21.
- From the neck down, yeah.
All right!
Can't you try and understand?
That's the whole trouble.
I do. I wish I didn't.
- ut it's business!
- What kind of business?
- That's some fine question, I must say!
- Then how about some fine answer?
Go ahead, Gladys. Go ahead.
These stairs are killing you.
- There you are.
- Yes.
- You feeling better?
- Much.
There's nothing like champagne.
- Yes, there is.
- What?
More champagne.
It's a very interesting thing
I found out.
All these different things- I mean,
the expensive ones, like champagne...
...and thick steaks and silk stuff...
What I mean to say is,
it's very easy to get into the habit.
ut then you take,
like, different things.
Like, once when I was
at a boarding house...
...they gave bean sandwiches for
lunch. That's a habit I never got into.
- What's this?
- What's what?
- This.
- Nothing.
I thought it was something.
That's not nothing.
You're very sweet.
So, what about this...
- ... cross-country...?
- This what?
The personal appear-
I'm sorry.
- oh, I'm sorry!
- Fine place for vintage champagne.
oh, I'm sorry!
Was that an accident,
or did you do it on purpose?
I'll tell you the truth. I don't know.
You don't know?
Everything is so sudden.
Incidentally, that chap I met outside
your house earlier tonight.
What chap?
oh, Pete.
- He said his name was Sheppard.
- That's right. Pete Sheppard.
What about him?
oh, he works on movies.
Very interesting.
Is it anything?
Is what?
- You and he.
- oh, no.
oh, no!
He's just sort of a neighbour.
In fact, he doesn't even like me.
In fact, more like hate.
...not exactly hate.
We just think each other are wacky.
I suppose it's
because we probably...
- ... don't understand each other.
- ut you and I...
...we understand each other.
Don't we?
- We do?
- of course we do.
That's nice.
That was all right.
Thank you.
Thank you.
You must be pretty experienced, huh?
In what way?
Well, I mean...
...I guess you do quite
a lot of this, don't you?
I suppose I do my share.
You just live here alone?
- y yourself?
- Yeah.
I suppose that's why.
You must be on the lonesome side.
Yes, I am.
You ever think of getting a parrot?
A what?
That would be nice company.
Somebody to talk to.
I mean, something.
And, of course, there's
lots of parrots can talk.
So then you could be talking to it,
and it could be talking to you, and...
I mean, you probably wouldn't be
talking to each other, but it'd be talk.
- I'd rather have you.
- Than a parrot?
- I think I better be going.
- Why?
- ecause I'm not enjoying myself.
- oh, give me time.
I don't mind the way
you're acting, exactly.
What I mind is the way you give
the idea you're sort of entitled.
- Maybe I am.
- oh, well, sure.
If you wanna make it
into a sort of business proposition.
Well, that's what you're doing,
isn't it?
If you want true romance,
missy, the magazines are full of it.
The way it looks to me, Mr. A dams,
there are two kinds of people:
The ones who do anything
to make a name for themselves.
- And ones who'll do almost anything.
- And which are you?
- I'll let you know.
- Now, wait a second.
No. You didn't really
wanna have a conference.
Least not the kind I thought.
- You just said that.
- ut after all-
In the second place, this
is the most important thing...
...soon there will be ads and signs
saying I'm the average American girl.
- Your idea, wasn't it?
- Well?
Well, I don't think the average
American girl should do this.
So good night.
Remember this day, Gladys?
That was the first time I saw you.
You hadn't met me yet,
but you were about to.
And when I made that close-up,
I had no idea... were gonna turn out
to be someone special.
ut a few minutes later,
at the time I shot this...
...I had decided I was gonna
mak e a try with you.
This was right after I left you.
I followed you.
And a few days later,
I moved in, right into here...
...right across the hall from you,
and lived here.
I wonder if you realize how tough it's
been living across the hall from you.
And I suppose it's all right now
to tell you...
...that I sure never did
get much sleep.
It was quite
an uncomfortable thing... lie there in the dark,
night after night...
...knowing that you
were only a few steps away.
Well, at first it wasn't so bad,
because I had hopes...
...that the trouble I was having
was only temporary.
I was confident that things
would develop with us.
ut as time has gone by,
I've realized more and more...
...that this thing is just
never gonna work out.
Now, maybe I didn't handle it
as well as I should have.
Maybe all of those times that I got
sore at you, you thought I really was.
ut I wasn't, Gladys.
What I was sore at was
that crackbrained idea of yours...
...that seemed to be taking up all of
your time, your energy and interest...
...and attention, so you had no time
to concentrate on anything else!
Least of all me.
That's what I was sore about.
And the other day, when you drove
up in that last straw...
...I knew my goose was cook ed.
Here I had gone along...
...figuring all the time that I was
competing with your passion for fame.
And suddenly, in one fell swoop,
I realized I'd been wrong all along.
Now, it is just hopeless for me
to try and compete...
...with a man who drives a foreign car
and wears a silk suit...
...and, no doubt, real gold cuff links.
Also, I had a good look at this Joe...
...and, well, I'm only being honest
with myself when I say that... my opinion,
he's even better-looking than I am.
Although I personally have reached
a point where I sort of lik e my looks.
ut then, of course, I've been around
with them for quite a long while.
Well, be that as it may...
...I never got around to bringing
up the subject of "I love you. "
ut no doubt you're aware of it.
I'm sorry to bother you
with all of this...
...but I couldn't face handling
it in person, and I can't write.
So this is probably the best way.
The reason I did not
wanna just disappear... because I wouldn't want you
to ever think badly of me.
In fact, I hope that you can
remember me with...
...some amount of affection...
...because that is the way
I intend to remember you...
...for the rest of my life.
Goodbye, Gladys.
What's doing?
oh, no.
oh, no.
oh, no!
- What do you say? Time's a-wasting.
- I hate this idea.
We'll talk later.
Put it in your mouth.
- No, I'm telling you-
- Just do it, will you, Gladys?
All right, let's have the pose.
Just let your arms hang down.
That's right.
And look miserable.
I can do that without
even trying, mister.
And don't talk.
That's it. Let's get the next one.
Snap it up now.
- Why did I let you rope me into this?
- Rope?
This is one of the best touches
weve hit.
I feel foolish, and I don't like
to feel foolish.
Why, sugar?
- ecause.
- Don't you realize that every place...
...that uses this display, we get $20?
They're talking about 1000 displays.
Don't you understand
what that means? 20,000.
- There's one thing you forget.
- What?
- It's a fake.
- oh, come on.
- Not only that, it's dishonest.
- Well, don't worry about it.
- And it's not dignified.
- Well, isn't tomorrow dignified?
- What tomorrow?
- The Air Force.
I got them to name a plane after you
and your picture taken...
...with generals and colonels and
everything. Isn't that dignified?
Well, yes, but this isn't.
Well, will you let me run it, baby?
Ive done a lot of things in my life,
some stupid, but never crooked.
And certain people I know,
they're gonna know it's a fake.
- What do you care?
- I don't mean everybody.
ut a few people. one.
I care what they think. Him. He.
I don't even know where he is,
but wherever he is-
Will you close your mouth?
I wrote a speech for you for tomorrow.
You have to memorize it.
And wear something simple
and dignified.
ecause tomorrow is dignified.
Yeah, but today isn't.
- What do you say?
- All set.
okay, clear it.
Here we go, Gladys.
Let's have the pose.
Let's see a smile now.
oh, no! A real smile!
Think of the money.
Think of not doing this anymore.
Good! Hold it!
To think that of all
the girls in America... have-
No. You men of the...
...military air transport service...
...have chosen me "the girl
we would most like to... up in the air with. "
And all I can say,
from the bottom of my...
- From the bottom of my...
- Heart.
From the bottom of my heart.
Let me read it from the paper.
" Gen. Dunkley, Col. Wiley
and all you fine men. "
This has been
the greatest day of my life.
To think that of all the girls
in America... men of the military air
transport service...
...have chosen me "the girl we would
most like to be up in the air with. "
- Hold it! Hold it!
- Move in closer, fellas.
Put your arms on them.
Everyone look at her.
Quiet, will you, please? We're trying
to tape this. Start again, Gladys!
Gen. Dunkley, Col. Wiley
and all you fine men-
iss her, somebody! iss her!
one on each side.
- Look like you enjoy it!
- Quiet! Quiet! Start again, Gladys!
Gen. Wunkley, Col. Diley
and all you fi-
Fine men... think that of all the girls in
America, you men of the military...
...air transport service
have chosen me:
"The girl you would most like to be
up in a plane with. " And naming this...
...magnificent plane after me, I can
only say, from the bottom of my...
Heart. From the bottom
of my heart, this means...
It's all right. She's just nervous.
Stay there. We'll be back.
She's okay, nothing to worry.
- What's the matter?
- I don't know.
- You sick?
- No.
What are you trying to do?
This wasn't easy to set up.
- I don't care.
- You don't care?
Who are you not to care? Now,
come on. Pull yourself together here.
Get through with this, or
I'll drop you like a hot potato.
I wish you would. I wish everybody
would drop me. Just leave me alone.
Where do you come off throwing
temperament around here? You cluck!
- What?
- You heard me.
You're a nobody that
Ive blown up into a property.
You haven't done so much,
Mr. Clinton.
- You just made me a freak.
- You were a freak...
...when I first met you, only I'm
showing you how to cash in on it.
- Youve been doing all right too, right?
- Sure, sweetie.
Weve been doing all right,
and we can continue.
And we can do better,
only you have to stay in line.
- No!
- Why " no"?
ecause it's all over, the whole thing.
The whole goofy thing.
There's no sense to it,
no nothing.
What's the good of being
above the crowd all the time?
What's wrong with being part
of it?
- What is all this?
- Well, if you don't understand...
...I'm just sorry for you, that's all.
It isn't just making a name.
What's that?
It's making a name
stand for something...
...even on one block, instead
of for nothing all over the world.
- Now, wait a minute-
- What most people want is privacy.
That's about the greatest thing
anybody can have.
You know what's the trouble with you?
You're not real.
- I'm real enough to pop you one.
- Try it.
All right. Now we blow off the steam.
Now let's get down to the facts.
The fact is...
...there's only one thing I want.
- Like what?
- You can't get it for me.
I don't even think
I can get it myself.
ut I'm gonna have to try.
- What's happening?
- Just a spin. e right there.
- Roger.
- Yeah, yeah, roger.
- Now, listen, Gladys-
- okay, I'll do it.
Now, look, kid.
I'll forget everything you just said...
...and you forget everything
I just said. Fair enough?
Look, honey, don't conk out on me.
We got all this stuff going for us.
And listen, Gladys, the way
the dough is rolling, I figure-
Hold it, fellas.
Ladies and gentlemen...
...on behalf of Gladys Glover,
she just wants me to say that, well...
...she was a little overwhelmed,
but she's all right now.
Gen. Dunkley, Col. Wiley...
...and all you fine men...
...this has been
the greatest day of my life.
Not only because you wanna
name a plane after me...
...but because today I found out
I don't want you to.
And why?
I'm nobody to name a plane after.
I don't stand for anything.
ut that plane does...
...and so do you fellas.
That makes you somebody,
even if nobody knows your names...
...whatever they are. ecause every
one of you are one of the crowd.
Hey, that's an idea.
Why don't you call your plane
one of the Crowd?
ecause that's what it is,
and that's what makes it great.
Gen. Dunkley, Col. Wiley...
...and all you fine men...
That's it. Laugh it up!
That's it. Don't go away, anybody.
So I really appreciate
your help, folks.
You see, the idea is this.
We're making this picture...
...on how the people who come here
look to the animals. See what I mean?
Now, the shot that we're trying for
is you looking at the chimp, you see?
okay, here we go. Now, everybody
watches me just as if I'm the chimp.
You see what I mean?
You know?
Everybody's looking up at me.
That's it!
That's it! Everybody watches me.
Let's go, kids.
All right. Somebody down front, throw
a peanut at me, would you? That's it.
one at a time.
Take it easy, will you?
That's it. Take it easy! Take it easy.
one at a time. one at a time.
That's it.
Everybody's watching
the chimpanzee.
Well, wouldn't you know it?
Just as we're getting it going almost.
Hey, Pete! Look, will you?
I figure we can make it
to Pittsburgh before dark.
Like to get just past
and get a nice little room... one of those motels
and get right to bed.
Then in the morning, get in an hour
on the road before breakfast.
Can't we have breakfast first?
I'll tell you what. I will get up first and
bring you back your breakfast in bed.
How about that, Mrs. Sheppard?
What are you looking at?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.