It's Flashbeagle, Charlie Brown (1984) Movie Script
1
(INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE)
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)
Go back! Stay, stay!
Don't follow me to school. Stay! Stay!
Some kids have dogs
that follow them to school.
(YAWN S)
(SNORING)
(FEMALE TEACHER SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
I think it's a head, ma'am.
Shall I throw it in the wastebasket?
Maybe you'd like to see it up close.
I can take it up to your desk, ma'am.
It's pretty heavy.
It feels like it's full of lead.
There you are, ma'am.
Now you can get a close look at it.
(FEMALE TEACHER SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)
You missed it, sir.
We've been studying the human head.
Somehow, I feel I should get you
for something, Marcie.
But I don't know what.
Put away that history book, Marcie.
Art is next.
I love art class.
How's this, ma'am?
24 cows standing in a pasture.
Each one rendered in exquisite detail.
Maybe I'll add some sheep
and rabbits and squirrels.
Ah. A gorgeous pastoral setting.
Now I'll color the sky blue
and the grass green
and I'll put in some yellow flowers.
Wow. What a picture.
What an artistic triumph.
Marcie, you haven't drawn a thing.
Some of us are just
patrons of the arts, sir.
What did you put down
for the fourth question?
Six times 12 is 72.
72? I put down "green."
"Green"? Why did you put down "green"?
I thought it was a trick question.
Marcie, this is hard work.
Boy, I sure could use a (YAWNS)
little break right now.
(SNORING)
(SCREAMS)
(FEMALE TEACHER SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
PATTY: Sorry, ma'am.
My nose is caught in my binder.
I'm trying not to scream.
It's very painful.
May I have permission
to see the school nurse?
Or maybe the custodian?
We may need a pair of pliers.
Sorry, ma'am.
I'm having trouble seeing where I'm going.
(YELLS)
Ouch.
(WOMAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
My report?
I'm sorry, ma'am. It's in my binder,
and my binder is caught in my hair.
I've tried whipping it backward
and forward...
(BOTH YELL)
But nothing seems to help.
Anyway, my report was called,
"Does Education Have to Be Painful?"
I think maybe it does.
(WOMAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
No, ma'am,
I really can't take it off because-- Yipe!
Because my hair
is still caught in the binder. Yipe!
She got it off. Marcie got it off.
Phew. What a relief.
(WOMAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
My report? It's right here in my binder.
Don't sigh like that, ma'am.
It breaks my heart.
Gym is my favorite class.
I'm so dumb, I wish all classes were gym.
I sure look forward to gym.
You know, Chuck, I may not be
as cute as that little red-haired girl,
and I may not have
naturally curly hair like Frieda
and I may not be as smart as Lucy,
but I've got one thing none of them has,
I'm in shape.
PATTY (SINGING):
I run five miles every morning
I do 100 pushups every day
I pedal every night
Take a swim, take a hike
I'm in shape, I'm in shape,
I'm in shape
CHORUS (SINGING): She's practicing
Peppermint Patty's P. E. Program
She's in shape, she's in shape
She's in shape
When other kids are fading
At the finish
When all the others fail
To break the tape
I saunter round the track
And wave to Daddy
I'm in shape, I'm in shape I'm in shape
CHORUS: She's practicing
Peppermint Patty's P.E. Program
She's in shape, she's in shape
She's in shape
Hey, Linus, get in shape
Pretty soon it'll be too late
Hey, Linus
Hey, Linus
Hey, Chuck, you know how
Get in shape and do it now
- Hey, Chuck
- Hey, Chuck
- Hey, Chuck
- Hey, Chuck
Everybody get fit
Stop thinking about it, this is it
Lucy, Linus, Schroeder, Sally
Everybody work
(ALL GROAN)
So if you wanna follow my example
You're gonna have to work
There's no escape
You gotta get with
Peppermint Patty's P.E. Program
Get in shape, get in shape
Get in shape
CHORUS: She's practicing
Peppermint Patty's P.E. Program
- She's in shape
- I'm in shape
- She's in shape
- I'm in shape
- I'm in shape
- She's in shape
- I'm in shape
- She's in shape
- I'm in shape
- In shape, in shape
(PANTING)
Okay, Chuck, lift those legs.
Lift them higher.
Oh, good grief.
Are you ready
for the party tonight, Sally?
I remember the last time
we went to a party.
Linus called up and asked me
if I would like to go to a party.
And I said, yes.
And then, when we got there
Linus asked me if I would like to dance.
And I said, yes.
Then after we danced, Linus said,
"Would you like a glass of punch?"
And I said, "Yes, that would be very nice.
"I would like to have a glass of punch."
I don't believe that ever happened.
Well, it should have!
Okay, gang, we're gonna play Simon Says.
I'll start it.
Simon says, "Raise your arms."
Simon says, "Turn around."
Simon says, "Clap your hands."
- Simon says--
- Okay, it's my turn now.
CHORUS (SINGING): Lucy's the boss
Lucy's the boss
So you got to listen to Lucy
Listen to Lucy
Lucy's the boss
Lucy's the boss
So you got to listen to Lucy
Listen to Lucy
And here's what Lucy says
(SINGING) Lucy says,
"Put your hands on your head"
Listen to Lucy
Listen to Lucy
Lucy says, "Now, turn around"
Listen to Lucy
Listen to Lucy
Put your hands by your side
I didn't say, "Lucy says"
Lucy's the boss
So listen to Lucy
And here's what Lucy says
Lucy says, "Take your hands off your head"
Listen to Lucy
Listen to Lucy
Lucy says,
"Put them on your hips now"
Listen to Lucy
Listen to Lucy
Now jump up and down
I didn't say, "Lucy says"
Lucy's the boss
So listen to Lucy
And here's what Lucy says
Lucy says,
"I wanna be the queen of the world"
Yes, I do
Lucy says,
"I want everything my way"
Hey, hey, hey
Lucy says,
"I'm gonna be a beautiful girl"
Yes, I am
Lucy says,
"I'm gonna marry Schroeder someday"
Oh, good grief.
Lucy says,
"Pick up your right foot"
Listen to Lucy
Listen to Lucy
Lucy says,
"Now, hop on your left foot"
Listen to Lucy
Listen to Lucy
Now start running in place
I didn't say, "Lucy says"
Lucy's the boss
So listen to Lucy
And that's what Lucy says
What are you doing, Sally?
I'm waiting for my sweet baboo.
I am not your sweet baboo!
I'm waiting here because my sweet baboo
asked me to have the next dance with him.
I did not!
Well, you should have!
Oh, brother.
I'll have a cup, please.
I'm glad to see
you're not only having a good time
but you're also helping out
with the party.
Ah!
I'll have a cup of punch, please.
You know, Charlie Brown,
you have to do something about your face.
It's impossible to talk to someone
when they're making such sour faces.
(SINGING) Okay, everybody gather round
It's time for the Pigpen hoedown
Kick up your heels, jump up and down
Shut your eyes and whirl around
Reach out your hand
And if no one's there
Grab your own hand
Dance round in a square
CHORUS: When you're doing
The Pigpen hoedown
Gotta have a caller you can trust
'Cause when Pigpen
Does the hoedown
He really kicks up some dust
Hey, Chuck,
we're all bumping into each other.
Let me give it a try.
(SINGING) Bow to your left,
Bow to your right
And if you find no one in sight
Just bow to your toes
And bow to your knees
And dance around
Just as you please
CHORUS: When you're doing
The Pigpen hoedown
Gotta have a caller you can trust
'Cause when Pigpen
Does the hoedown
He really kicks up some dust
(COUGHING)
BOY 1: I can hardly see.
BOY 2: It's getting worse.
Hey, Patty,
we're still bumping into each other.
Let me be the caller.
We don't need a caller, Lucy.
We need a vacuum cleaner.
(SINGING) If we really wanna dance
And we stay here, we got no chance
So nod to the ceiling
Bow to the floor
Leave Pigpen here
And head for the door
CHORUS: When you're doing
The Pigpen hoedown
Gotta have a caller you can trust
'Cause when Pigpen
Does the hoedown
He really kicks up some dust
(CHILDREN COUGHING)
Do you realize what you're becoming?
I don't know what you're becoming
but I do know what you're not becoming.
You don't do any of the things
that a dog is supposed to do.
You don't bark at strangers.
You don't bring in the morning paper.
You don't even bring me
my slippers at night.
In the old days,
dogs used to round up sheep
and guard them in case wolves attacked.
I never see you rounding up sheep.
I'll bet you don't even know
what one looks like.
You don't try to follow me to school
and you don't meet me when I come home.
There's nothing worse
than owning a dog who isn't a dog.
(LAUGHS)
Who's in the bathroom? Open up.
(YELLS)
(PEOPLE APPLAUDING)
Flashbeagle? I can't stand it.
I need something for show-and-tell.
I picked you because
you're a first-round draft pick.
(YELPS)
Yes, sir, you're going to get me an A
for show-and-tell.
A real live dog.
(WOMAN SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)
For show-and-tell,
I brought my pet chameleon.
His name is George.
And George changes colors
with every shirt I wear.
George eats flies and bugs. Thank you.
(FEMALE TEACHER SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)
Yes, ma'am.
Heel, Snoopy.
For show-and-tell today,
I have brought a dog.
BOY: What's so great about that?
He doesn't do anything.
He just stands there.
He looks like he's asleep.
SALLY: A dog is not only
man's best friend,
but he's also a protector, a defender,
a ferocious friend in need. Indeed.
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYS ON STEREO)
I don't know what to do about Snoopy.
I should give him a good lecture,
the way he carries on.
You just leave him alone.
That's the first time I ever got an A
in show-and-tell.
English SDH
(INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE)
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)
Go back! Stay, stay!
Don't follow me to school. Stay! Stay!
Some kids have dogs
that follow them to school.
(YAWN S)
(SNORING)
(FEMALE TEACHER SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
I think it's a head, ma'am.
Shall I throw it in the wastebasket?
Maybe you'd like to see it up close.
I can take it up to your desk, ma'am.
It's pretty heavy.
It feels like it's full of lead.
There you are, ma'am.
Now you can get a close look at it.
(FEMALE TEACHER SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)
You missed it, sir.
We've been studying the human head.
Somehow, I feel I should get you
for something, Marcie.
But I don't know what.
Put away that history book, Marcie.
Art is next.
I love art class.
How's this, ma'am?
24 cows standing in a pasture.
Each one rendered in exquisite detail.
Maybe I'll add some sheep
and rabbits and squirrels.
Ah. A gorgeous pastoral setting.
Now I'll color the sky blue
and the grass green
and I'll put in some yellow flowers.
Wow. What a picture.
What an artistic triumph.
Marcie, you haven't drawn a thing.
Some of us are just
patrons of the arts, sir.
What did you put down
for the fourth question?
Six times 12 is 72.
72? I put down "green."
"Green"? Why did you put down "green"?
I thought it was a trick question.
Marcie, this is hard work.
Boy, I sure could use a (YAWNS)
little break right now.
(SNORING)
(SCREAMS)
(FEMALE TEACHER SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
PATTY: Sorry, ma'am.
My nose is caught in my binder.
I'm trying not to scream.
It's very painful.
May I have permission
to see the school nurse?
Or maybe the custodian?
We may need a pair of pliers.
Sorry, ma'am.
I'm having trouble seeing where I'm going.
(YELLS)
Ouch.
(WOMAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
My report?
I'm sorry, ma'am. It's in my binder,
and my binder is caught in my hair.
I've tried whipping it backward
and forward...
(BOTH YELL)
But nothing seems to help.
Anyway, my report was called,
"Does Education Have to Be Painful?"
I think maybe it does.
(WOMAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
No, ma'am,
I really can't take it off because-- Yipe!
Because my hair
is still caught in the binder. Yipe!
She got it off. Marcie got it off.
Phew. What a relief.
(WOMAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
My report? It's right here in my binder.
Don't sigh like that, ma'am.
It breaks my heart.
Gym is my favorite class.
I'm so dumb, I wish all classes were gym.
I sure look forward to gym.
You know, Chuck, I may not be
as cute as that little red-haired girl,
and I may not have
naturally curly hair like Frieda
and I may not be as smart as Lucy,
but I've got one thing none of them has,
I'm in shape.
PATTY (SINGING):
I run five miles every morning
I do 100 pushups every day
I pedal every night
Take a swim, take a hike
I'm in shape, I'm in shape,
I'm in shape
CHORUS (SINGING): She's practicing
Peppermint Patty's P. E. Program
She's in shape, she's in shape
She's in shape
When other kids are fading
At the finish
When all the others fail
To break the tape
I saunter round the track
And wave to Daddy
I'm in shape, I'm in shape I'm in shape
CHORUS: She's practicing
Peppermint Patty's P.E. Program
She's in shape, she's in shape
She's in shape
Hey, Linus, get in shape
Pretty soon it'll be too late
Hey, Linus
Hey, Linus
Hey, Chuck, you know how
Get in shape and do it now
- Hey, Chuck
- Hey, Chuck
- Hey, Chuck
- Hey, Chuck
Everybody get fit
Stop thinking about it, this is it
Lucy, Linus, Schroeder, Sally
Everybody work
(ALL GROAN)
So if you wanna follow my example
You're gonna have to work
There's no escape
You gotta get with
Peppermint Patty's P.E. Program
Get in shape, get in shape
Get in shape
CHORUS: She's practicing
Peppermint Patty's P.E. Program
- She's in shape
- I'm in shape
- She's in shape
- I'm in shape
- I'm in shape
- She's in shape
- I'm in shape
- She's in shape
- I'm in shape
- In shape, in shape
(PANTING)
Okay, Chuck, lift those legs.
Lift them higher.
Oh, good grief.
Are you ready
for the party tonight, Sally?
I remember the last time
we went to a party.
Linus called up and asked me
if I would like to go to a party.
And I said, yes.
And then, when we got there
Linus asked me if I would like to dance.
And I said, yes.
Then after we danced, Linus said,
"Would you like a glass of punch?"
And I said, "Yes, that would be very nice.
"I would like to have a glass of punch."
I don't believe that ever happened.
Well, it should have!
Okay, gang, we're gonna play Simon Says.
I'll start it.
Simon says, "Raise your arms."
Simon says, "Turn around."
Simon says, "Clap your hands."
- Simon says--
- Okay, it's my turn now.
CHORUS (SINGING): Lucy's the boss
Lucy's the boss
So you got to listen to Lucy
Listen to Lucy
Lucy's the boss
Lucy's the boss
So you got to listen to Lucy
Listen to Lucy
And here's what Lucy says
(SINGING) Lucy says,
"Put your hands on your head"
Listen to Lucy
Listen to Lucy
Lucy says, "Now, turn around"
Listen to Lucy
Listen to Lucy
Put your hands by your side
I didn't say, "Lucy says"
Lucy's the boss
So listen to Lucy
And here's what Lucy says
Lucy says, "Take your hands off your head"
Listen to Lucy
Listen to Lucy
Lucy says,
"Put them on your hips now"
Listen to Lucy
Listen to Lucy
Now jump up and down
I didn't say, "Lucy says"
Lucy's the boss
So listen to Lucy
And here's what Lucy says
Lucy says,
"I wanna be the queen of the world"
Yes, I do
Lucy says,
"I want everything my way"
Hey, hey, hey
Lucy says,
"I'm gonna be a beautiful girl"
Yes, I am
Lucy says,
"I'm gonna marry Schroeder someday"
Oh, good grief.
Lucy says,
"Pick up your right foot"
Listen to Lucy
Listen to Lucy
Lucy says,
"Now, hop on your left foot"
Listen to Lucy
Listen to Lucy
Now start running in place
I didn't say, "Lucy says"
Lucy's the boss
So listen to Lucy
And that's what Lucy says
What are you doing, Sally?
I'm waiting for my sweet baboo.
I am not your sweet baboo!
I'm waiting here because my sweet baboo
asked me to have the next dance with him.
I did not!
Well, you should have!
Oh, brother.
I'll have a cup, please.
I'm glad to see
you're not only having a good time
but you're also helping out
with the party.
Ah!
I'll have a cup of punch, please.
You know, Charlie Brown,
you have to do something about your face.
It's impossible to talk to someone
when they're making such sour faces.
(SINGING) Okay, everybody gather round
It's time for the Pigpen hoedown
Kick up your heels, jump up and down
Shut your eyes and whirl around
Reach out your hand
And if no one's there
Grab your own hand
Dance round in a square
CHORUS: When you're doing
The Pigpen hoedown
Gotta have a caller you can trust
'Cause when Pigpen
Does the hoedown
He really kicks up some dust
Hey, Chuck,
we're all bumping into each other.
Let me give it a try.
(SINGING) Bow to your left,
Bow to your right
And if you find no one in sight
Just bow to your toes
And bow to your knees
And dance around
Just as you please
CHORUS: When you're doing
The Pigpen hoedown
Gotta have a caller you can trust
'Cause when Pigpen
Does the hoedown
He really kicks up some dust
(COUGHING)
BOY 1: I can hardly see.
BOY 2: It's getting worse.
Hey, Patty,
we're still bumping into each other.
Let me be the caller.
We don't need a caller, Lucy.
We need a vacuum cleaner.
(SINGING) If we really wanna dance
And we stay here, we got no chance
So nod to the ceiling
Bow to the floor
Leave Pigpen here
And head for the door
CHORUS: When you're doing
The Pigpen hoedown
Gotta have a caller you can trust
'Cause when Pigpen
Does the hoedown
He really kicks up some dust
(CHILDREN COUGHING)
Do you realize what you're becoming?
I don't know what you're becoming
but I do know what you're not becoming.
You don't do any of the things
that a dog is supposed to do.
You don't bark at strangers.
You don't bring in the morning paper.
You don't even bring me
my slippers at night.
In the old days,
dogs used to round up sheep
and guard them in case wolves attacked.
I never see you rounding up sheep.
I'll bet you don't even know
what one looks like.
You don't try to follow me to school
and you don't meet me when I come home.
There's nothing worse
than owning a dog who isn't a dog.
(LAUGHS)
Who's in the bathroom? Open up.
(YELLS)
(PEOPLE APPLAUDING)
Flashbeagle? I can't stand it.
I need something for show-and-tell.
I picked you because
you're a first-round draft pick.
(YELPS)
Yes, sir, you're going to get me an A
for show-and-tell.
A real live dog.
(WOMAN SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)
For show-and-tell,
I brought my pet chameleon.
His name is George.
And George changes colors
with every shirt I wear.
George eats flies and bugs. Thank you.
(FEMALE TEACHER SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)
Yes, ma'am.
Heel, Snoopy.
For show-and-tell today,
I have brought a dog.
BOY: What's so great about that?
He doesn't do anything.
He just stands there.
He looks like he's asleep.
SALLY: A dog is not only
man's best friend,
but he's also a protector, a defender,
a ferocious friend in need. Indeed.
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYS ON STEREO)
I don't know what to do about Snoopy.
I should give him a good lecture,
the way he carries on.
You just leave him alone.
That's the first time I ever got an A
in show-and-tell.
English SDH