It's My Turn (1980) Movie Script
[]
KATE:
Let me show you how
to construct the map S,
which is the fun
of the lemma anyhow.
Okay?
So you assume you have
an element
in the kernel of gamma.
That is, an element in C such
that gamma takes you
to zero in C prime.
You pull back to B
by the map G,
which is surject--
Hold it, hold it, hold it.
That's-- That's not unique.
Yes, it is unique,
Mr. Cooperman.
Up to an element
in the image of F. All right?
So we pulled it back
to a fixed B here,
then you take beta of B,
which takes you
to zero in C prime
by the commutivity
of the diagram.
It's therefore in the kernel
of the map G prime,
hence is in the image
of the map F prime,
by the exactness
of the lower sequence.
No.
So we can pull it back
No.
to an element in A prime.
It's not well-defined.
Which it turns out
is a well-defined module
of the image of alpha.
And thus defines an element
in the co-kernel of alpha.
And that's the snake.
And on Monday
we'll address ourselves
to the co-homology
of groups
and Mr. Cooperman's
next objections.
This-- This stuff
is just garbage.
It's another diagram chase.
When are we going to move on
to something interesting?
Like your new group?
Any progress
with the two fusion?
Nope. Still stuck.
Maybe you've gone as far
as you can with it, Dr. G.
That's possible.
I've started looking
at it with a whole new angle.
Oh.
And if it works,
I'll be famous.
Oh.
That would be terrific.
I can relax.
I'll be famous
for having taught you.
Fuck face.
[]
Famous.
[]
[]
MAN:
Schneider.
Schneider, don't tell me
in all of Chicago
you can't get that wood.
Look, screw Consolidated!
[WHISPERING]
Screw Consolidated.
Screw me.
I'm-- I'm actually talking
on the phone.
I'm sorry.
Look, we've gotta get
the lumber by the 13th
or we can't start.
If you can't get the birch,
get the maple,
if you can't get the maple,
then go with
the goddamn $8 oak.
Formica.
Formica looks great.
Yeah, yeah.
But, you know, get something.
I don't care where you go
to get it, but get--
One thing I'm not gonna do.
I'm not gonna sit on my butt,
take Consolidated's word,
and wait till
the market bumps to 10.
We gotta
make a deal by noon.
Okay, Schneider?
I don't wanna yell at you,
but you know what I'm saying?
Okay, Schneider.
God, you're cute
when you're mad.
Do they wonder
what you're like at home?
What am I like at home?
You're like
one perfect asshole at home.
Perfect, huh?
Yeah.
You know--
These pillows.
I don't know, they're so big.
Nobody's gonna
be able to sit here.
I would've helped you
if you waited for me.
Don't try to get
on my good side.
I didn't know you
had a good side.
[MOCKING TONE]
I didn't know you
had a good side. Heh.
Oh, God. I don't know
what I'm gonna do
about this interview
in New York this weekend.
Oh, thank you.
You peeled the onions.
This is great.
Thank you.
Plus,
there's this dumb wedding.
Should I go or not?
Go.
I don't think so.
Don't go.
Why not?
Look, your father's
getting married.
Go to your father's wedding.
Go to your father's wedding.
I am staying
in this dumb hotel
so my father won't even know
that I'm in town.
I told you that.
I'm gonna be the spinster
at this wedding.
You're a spinster,
don't feel bad.
I'm not.
Come here, come here.
Look at me. Look at me.
Come with me to the wedding.
Ha-ha, I'm just kidding.
The reason I don't wanna go
to this wedding
is I can't stand the woman
that my father is marrying.
I mean, why does he have
to marry someone his own age?
You know, he could have married
a-- A chorus girl.
Really.
I understand.
No, you don't. You don't.
I mean, she's making him
sell the house.
She doesn't even know
how to swim.
She doesn't know how to swim?
Oh! You never said
she didn't know how to swim.
That's serious.
Give me a break.
A woman, who doesn't know how
to swim, is getting married.
We're having Grand Marnier
omelets for dessert.
We're having peaches
for dessert.
Cooperman
is snapping at my ass,
my father is marrying
someone I hate.
We're having
Grand Marnier omelets, okay?
[]
[HUMMING]
[]
Carry your two.
KATE:
I'd like to kill
that little Cooperman.
Now he's working
on the two fusion.
Jesus.
[SIGHS]
[SIGHS]
I should work this weekend
instead of running around
to a pointless interview.
They probably just want me
because I'm a woman.
I just don't wanna go up
for it and not get it, you know?
Oh, Homer.
Uh, no.
Do you know that I'm not even
sure that I want this job.
I mean, I don't know
I want an administrative job.
It's boring.
Do you know--?
Are you making fun of me?
What? No.
Go ahead. I'm-- I'm--
Oh, no.
BOTH:
You are!
Do you know what I'd like?
What?
God, if I could just solve
this problem.
I-- Do you understand,
it would be--?
I would be in a-- In a class
with Euclid and Newton.
Really.
Uh-huh.
I would be--
Except for Newton made his
breakthrough when he was 22.
Uh-oh.
Homer!
Okay.
It's not funny.
No, no.
This is serious.
I'm-- Oh, listen.
You kidding?
Talking about your breakthrough.
This is my life!
Of course, I'm listening.
Look, maybe...
Maybe I don't even
have to make a choice.
Maybe I can take this job.
I'll have time
to do my own work.
Then the only problem I'd have
would be leaving you.
Which might not
be a bad idea.
[LAUGHS]
[LAUGHS]
Kate, taking Homer with you
to New York this weekend?
No, what for?
To hang around outside
my interview?
No. To go with you
to your father's wedding.
I'm not sure
I'm gonna go.
Really?
Mm.
The original daddy's girl?
I think I might just go
to the interview
and come right back.
Well, I hope you get it.
It sounds like a great job.
I'd have to move to New York.
I'd go in a second.
Really?
What about Homer?
We're just getting settled,
you know?
Yeah, I know.
He's very nice, you
know.
He makes me laugh.
Yeah, I know.
He gives me lots of space.
Yeah, I know.
Of course I care,
she's my daughter too.
[WHISPERING]
Interview or wedding?
Either.
Well, why?
What does she say?
She's not eating or what?
Lucy.
On the left, I think.
Uh, appendicitis is what?
No, just a--
Oh, is her stomach hard
with pain?
Is her stomach hard with pain?
Is her stool loose?
Is her stool loose?
No.
It's not appendicitis.
Not appendicitis.
It's probably just
an upset stomach.
Yeah, just--
Just have her rest.
I thought that was fixed?
It broke?
It broke again?
All right,
well, don't--
Don't worry about it.
How did the audition go?
All your experience counts
for something.
Other people could
have big resumes but,
I mean, you know about--
[KATE GRUNTS]
HOMER: Unfeeling husbands.
[KATE GROANS]
Audrey, look, I wanna talk
to you about this more, but--
L-Let me call you back.
[SIGHS]
I cannot wear this
to an interview.
Katherine,
take it easy.
Take it easy.
You said it yourself.
You probably won't even
get the job.
It's just
an affirmative action ploy.
They gotta interview
a woman. Take it easy.
I don't wanna go
to the interview.
I don't wanna go
to the wedding.
You go to the wedding you'll
be able to have pastrami.
Do you think they're
getting married in a deli?
God.
Where are they getting married?
For lunch you're having--
What?
--a cheese sandwich.
Tonight you have--
What are you doing?
--cold skewers of shish kebab.
Sunday you have the kids.
Chinese with the kids.
Kate. Kate, take it easy.
Lunch.
Take it easy.
Shit.
I'll broil you--
I'll broil you a chicken.
I don't have time to do this.
Hey! Take it easy!
You're gonna have to go out.
So I'll make some eggs.
You can't have eggs.
We had eggs
in last night's souffl.
That's too much cholesterol.
So I'll have a coronary.
Really.
Ow! Ow!
Okay, it's nothing,
it's nothing.
The chicken slipped.
The chicken slipped.
Okay, let me see.
Broke my toe.
You should wear shoes.
Oh, it's nothing.
No, it's broken.
My toe.
It's your out.
It's your out.
Dear Dad, can't make wedding,
chicken broke toe
and I don't care.
Chicken broke toe
And I don't care
Chicken broke toe
And I don't care
Chicken broke toe
And I don't care
Da-boo, boo, boo, boo
I'm all packed.
This concept of housing
holds out the promise
of a life of dignified
and autonomous.
My toe's better.
Oh, okay.
What we've done
in this project
is to employ the idea
of defensible space.
There's been a gratifying
consensus among the elderly
that this concept
of housing will--
Uh...
What?
What?
No, no. W--
D-Don't you think
that, um,
"gratifying consensus" is--
Is a crap phrase?
A crap phrase?
Yeah.
I don't think
it's a crap phrase, no.
No?
No, I don't think so.
Possibly.
Yeah, look at it.
Possibly.
You want to listen to this?
Yeah.
Would you like that? Okay.
Well, listen to this.
Uh, you seem easy.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Um...
This is just the rough draft.
Don't, uh-- You know. Okay.
"The elderly in buildings with
family units include children--
"For the elderly in buildings
with family units,
including children
are being victimized."
What does that mean?
Could you make that
simpler, more direct?
Elderly people
who live in buildings, uh--
Down the hall could be a family
with teenage kids.
Uh-huh.
They go
to their mailbox to, uh,
pick up
a social security check.
They go shop, they come back
they're afraid somebody's gonna
beat the shit out of them.
Oh, I-- I didn't get that.
Oh, that's great.
Why don't you say that?
I can't say beat the shit out
of them. This is gonna be on TV.
You're right, you're right.
I'm sorry.
Um...
"What we do is take two
of the buildings in the project
"and designate them
as elderly buildings.
This way--"
Wait a minute.
I don't think you should
say "elderly buildings."
Why not?
I don't think it's clear.
It's perfectly clear.
It sounds as if the buildings
are elderly. Yes.
No, no.
Elderly people
in the building.
No.
It sounds like this, uh,
rusty pipes, cracking walls--
Elderly buildings.
Yeah.
Maybe. Maybe.
Uh...
All right, let me look--
It's probably a moot point.
Maybe. I'll look at it.
"Uh, a new person
coming to visit,
a teenage delivery boy
sticks out like a sore thumb."
Don't always-- I'm sorry.
What?
When you're doing it.
I'm not doing gestures.
No, I'm just running through--
Okay. Right.
Okay. No, I--
Don't think that-- This is not--
All right.
Oh, I-- I'm sorry.
"Patrols sit in
the lobby together
"and watch the television
monitor in the courtyard.
Then they press the buttons
to admit people or not."
That's-- I like that.
I like that phrase,
it's good.
What's a good phrase? Sit--
Sit in the lobby?
Press buttons?
Both of them.
Both?
Yeah. Good phrases.
[PHONE RINGS]
Brilliant.
Sure.
Hello. Schneider.
I'll have you out of there
in 24 hours.
[LAUGHS]
I'll miss you.
Have a good time.
"And designate them
as buildings
in which only elderly tenants
will reside."
[]
[]
Daddy?
I'm here.
No, in New York.
Yeah.
Oh, uh, actually, I'm--
I'm staying in a hotel.
Yeah.
I know it's crazy,
but I thought I'd surprise you.
Here's your keys, miss.
No. I wouldn't miss
your wedding for the world.
Oh, of course
I'll be there Sunday.
I'm going to this interview,
and I'll see you tonight.
Oh.
Jeremy Grant
at Yale,
he's a great fan
of your thesis.
You know, uh--
Have you done any, uh,
new work in your group yet?
Uh, no.
Not yet.
I broke my back
on group theory.
Now it's moved way past me now.
No, new younger minds
have to take over.
Has your own work come
to a standstill, Dr. Gunzinger?
Well, I--
[CLEARS THROAT]
I certainly hope not.
No.
You know this job
is largely administrative.
Oh, yes, I understand
that there'd be
some administrative duties,
but I certainly expect
to continue with my own work.
I-If you can manage
to do your own work too,
we'd be delighted.
You could guarantee me a--
A certain number of hours for
my own research, couldn't you?
No, no. We can't
guarantee that.
But-- But your workload
would vary from year to year.
Right. Sure.
Vary from year to year.
It's been a pleasure
to meet you.
Yes, you too, professor.
Take care.
Excuse me. Bye.
Take care.
Very nice--
Call you soon.
Nice to talk to you, professor.
Arigato, Professor Ioto.
[SIGHS]
[]
[BAND PLAYING MELLOW MUSIC]
[LAUGHS]
Daddy. How are you?
Oh!
Emma. Emma,
you remember my lovely girl?
Kate, how are you, dear?
KATE: Oh, you look great.
JACOB: Yes.
KATE: You should have seen me.
JACOB: How about you?
I just blew it.
The first thing they said to me,
"Has your own work
come standstill?"
Okay.
Come here, I wanna--
Where are you going?
If you wanna talk to me
you have to all around.
Kate.
[WHISPERS]
Thank God your dear mother
didn't live to see this day.
GAIL:
Kate, you creep.
I had to find out
from Uncle Jake
you moved in with Homer.
Oh, yeah. We finally--
We moved in because--
We thought, why not?
You know?
Oh, it's--
GAIL: That's great.
JACOB: Kate.
There's lots of space.
And love? No love?
JACOB:
Kate, come back here.
You haven't met everybody.
Can I help it?
I'm just
an old-fashioned girl.
Bloomingdale's tomorrow?
Great.
I'll talk to you later.
This is Maryanne,
my lovely new daughter.
KATE:
Hello. Good to meet you.
JACOB: Jerome, psychiatrist.
Pleased to meet you.
KATE: How do you do?
JACOB: Ben, like his father.
Hi.
Hi. Sorry.
Now tell me, how did
the interview go?
Oh...
I should have kept
my mouth shut.
I don't think
I'm gonna get it.
Well,
that doesn't sound like you.
This is the girl that got 100
on every math Regent except
for 98 in plane geometry.
Daddy.
JACOB:
Thesis was on sporadic groups.
I told my children to follow
their talents, do the things
that make them the happiest.
That's very impressive, Mom.
Let her eat.
Tell me, what did you get wrong
in plane geometry?
KATE:
The problem was to
compute the area
of a patio around a pool,
and I applied
the right method, but I--
I put the patio
inside the pool.
[LAUGHS]
That wouldn't happen to me now.
I live with a builder.
RITA:
So how is the married man?
KATE:
Rita.
Mom, Kate's friend was divorced
before she met him.
KATE:
Thank you, Gail.
Families.
Did you see
the dedication to, uh--
To Gail
in Lee Carnaby's novel?
No.
Yes. I saw it.
HUNTER:
She was his editor.
MARYANN:
Oh, I loved his last book.
[GUESTS CHATTERING]
[BAND PLAYING SLOW WALTZ MUSIC]
GAIL:
I really do enjoy it.
They're playing a waltz.
I wanna dance with my girl.
Thanks for the rescue.
Freudian.
I don't like shrinks.
Neither do I.
Why did you choose it
as a profession?
No, that was your father.
No, that was your father.
My father's a pediatrician.
Your father the pediatrician's
introduction.
My brother-in-law, Jerome,
he's a psychiatrist.
He said,
"Ben, like his father."
The name Ben.
Oh.
Which one is your wife?
Uh, the one you don't see.
She's in Holland.
Good.
Whoa. Excuse me.
Excuse me.
I'm sorry.
You all right?
Fred I think you'd
better find Ginger. I--
You feel sick?
I'm gonna barf all over
my tap shoes.
Take a deep breath. That's it.
Take a deep breath.
That's it.
That's good.
All right.
You still feel nauseous?
Yeah?
Yeah.
Uh...
Okay, let's go for it.
Put two fingers
in the back of your throat,
just let her rip.
I gotcha.
Just watch out for the shoes.
I gotcha.
Mm.
No guts?
Are you all right?
KATE:
Mm-hm.
You sure?
Yeah. Fine.
Oh, I hope you visit us
in Stockbridge.
It's a nice house.
We have a duck pond.
Oh. Well,
I have very little time off,
and when I do,
I try to get to the ocean.
Your father told you that, uh,
he sold the beach house
because of me.
Yeah.
Oh, I understand.
You have a duck pond.
That's wonderful.
Your father's not supposed to
heave that boat around.
I mean,
after his last cardiogram,
not even day sails
if he won't put a motor on.
I know that.
Well, if you and your mother
couldn't, uh--
Couldn't make him do it,
what chance do I have?
So I told him that I, uh--
I would like to live
in Stockbridge
to be near Maryanne
and the children.
That's nice. Nice.
I mean,
for you, that's great.
Be near your grandchildren.
Ha. Kate,
I've raised my children.
I mean, I-- I don't wanna
be an unpaid babysitter
for my grandchildren.
I don't understand.
Jacob will sell
the beach house for my sake,
not because
of his last cardiogram,
but because he thinks
that I want to live
in Stockbridge.
It's not a perfect plan.
My son-in-law and I are not
what you'd call devoted.
I mean, he thinks
I'm a pretty silly woman.
[LAUGHS]
I guess he's right.
Here I am choosing to live
only a goddamn duck pond
away from him.
[LAUGHS]
I'm not a brilliant young
mathematician who--
Who can do sporadic groups.
I just did
the best I could.
Uh, what color is your dress?
For Sunday?
Blue.
Nice.
A lovely color for you.
Ugh.
Come on.
Ah!
BEN:
I got two
or three stadiums.
You know, you get
those white lights...
So what's it feel like, uh,
not to be playing anymore?
I'm sore every morning.
No one bothered to tell me
this was Ben Lewin.
Who?
Ben Lewin, Kate.
The guy who robbed Reggie
Jackson of his homer in Detroit.
Katie, he's a ball player.
He had an operation
on his shoulder.
He went
to spring training anyway,
but the doctors told him
he had to quit.
[LAUGHS]
BEN:
No, I don't think so.
I think I'm--
So you think you're going
to be a manager or--
Are you okay?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah?
Yeah.
I almost didn't recognize
you with that beard.
Yeah. It's only about
three months old
Still itches a little bit,
you know?
Classic case
of compensatory displacement.
[MOUTHS]
The beard.
I better get back to the party.
Nice talking to you.
Nice talking to you.
See you later.
Bye-bye.
Ben's father encouraged him
to go after sports
in order to get into
medical school.
The sports thing
was a means to an end,
but Ben missed the point.
A highly overrated boy.
[SIGHS]
Jerome, why don't you
grab a little bench?
Speak English, Ben.
Man talk.
Jacob, may I have the pleasure
of inviting your future bride
for a little dance?
Why not?
Thank you. Mama, come on.
KATE:
Wanna dance with me, Daddy?
[BAND PLAYING UPBEAT MUSIC]
How's you life?
Nice to see you.
It's fine. Good.
Yeah?
I'm working a lot.
[EMMA LAUGHS]
We're not embarrassing you,
are we?
How does my hair look?
[LAUGHS]
Well, you could use
a little trim, maybe.
Don't cut it too short,
though.
Just a little bit.
Well, you know how I feel
about barbers.
Haven't had a decent
haircut in two years.
Lovely. Yes.
See you tomorrow, Ben.
Oh, it was so much fun.
Listen, why don't
I come home with you?
I don't have to stay
in the hotel.
Well, honey, I wish you would
have mentioned something before.
I'll walk you home.
We can go for a nightcap.
Uh, wait, how's he gonna
get home then?
Well, I'll tell
the doorman to expect him.
I forgot my glasses.
Goodnight, Mom.
See you later, all right?
Bye-bye, Jacob.
Goodnight, Emma.
Bye, Dad.
Do you find it weird,
thinking about our parents
sleeping together?
You know, actually,
I really don't know very much
about your work.
Baseball.
I have a friend,
though, in Chicago--
Is that the married man?
Are you a celebrity?
I mean, it's really
wasted on me.
Do people come up to you?
Occasionally, yes,
in airport urinals.
What is it that
they recognize?
My oversized wrists.
You want a piece of gum?
You know,
Homer isn't married.
Excuse me,
did you say Homer?
Wait a minute. Homer?
Yeah.
You know, I may be
offered this job in New York,
and, uh, he can't move.
That's Homer can't? Yeah.
Homer.
We have problems.
You know,
modern problems.
What are you doing
these days?
I'm trying to be
a very sincere speaker.
No, actually I speak
at father-sons breakfasts.
Two hundred bucks a shot.
Little League.
Talk about sportsmanship,
discipline,
Boy Scouts, you know.
Got any gigs for me
in Chicago? I'm available.
KATE:
Maybe Homer can book you
with some senior citizens.
Well, I'm your man.
Oh, I forgot, I gotta
call Chicago tonight.
Any messages
for Gunzinger, please?
CLERK:
Just a minute, ma'am,
I'll check.
No, ma'am,
nothing for you.
Thanks.
Uh-oh...
Oh.
BEN:
Hm.
Well, we can always
order room service.
Oh!
Look.
All right.
Ping pong.
I am a Picasso in ping pong.
[SIGHS]
Wanna warm up?
No.
Let's just play.
Just play? You wanna serve?
You can serve.
I can serve?
Sure.
I haven't played for a while.
Really? One-nothing.
Oh, I'm usually
so good at this game.
Is this a regulation table?
All right, it's 2-nothing.
These clothes are so tight.
It's hard to move your arm.
That's 3-nothing.
I can count.
Oh!
Goddamn it!
Four-nothing.
Yeah.
Oversized wrists.
What about darts?
Are you some kind of demon
at darts too?
It's a dull game, darts.
Here's one.
Come on, let's play this one.
Baseball?
You'll love it.
I think you have
a distinct advantage.
What are you talking about?
It's a computer game.
You probably invented it.
All right, this is the batter.
I am the pitcher
and the outfielder, okay?
I'm gonna pitch--
You've played it before.
Couple times.
All right,
I'll give you the pitch
and you gotta hit it
with the bat.
Okay.
All right?
Okay.
Here comes the first one.
Outfield's moving in.
Okay.
The pitch is coming.
Yes, she's got it!
It's a big one!
Moving through the left,
he's back, he's got it,
she's going in for two!
[BEEPS]
Out!
That was close.
Out is not close.
Notice the synchronization.
They're going very well here,
all right?
I'm giving you
a curve ball this time.
Lewin's outfield
is moving in and over.
She's ready.
The pitch is coming.
[BOTH SHOUTING]
It's a double she's going!
Moving fast!
She's rounding second,
heading for third!
She's going for third!
She's going for third!
And she's out!
[BEEPS]
This is a dumb game!
What are you talking about?
You could win.
You're good at this.
Have you ever tried
to play darts?
It's a dull game.
[GROANS]
[GASPS]
One thing about this game,
you gotta be very kind
to your male opponent.
You're gonna get it this time.
You are gonna get it bad.
I'm ready.
None of this...
Oh, damn it!
Why are your clothes so dumb?
You're dumb.
I'm a ballplayer.
[SIGHS]
Come on, let's play.
I can win
this goddamn game.
[SQUEALS]
Let's go!
I like that action.
Come on!
Oh, I'm good at this game!
One last for the shot.
[GASPS]
That was lucky.
It's getting late.
What do you say
we have that one drink?
I think I could take you
at darts.
BEN:
You just gotta
choose the game, don't you?
That's a thread.
Oh.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
Do you know Chicago?
Yeah, played
a few games there.
It's America's first city
of architecture.
Would you
like that drink?
No, I don't, uh--
No, I don't think
I really want that drink now.
No, no.
Maybe I'll have
that drink.
You know, uh,
I'll have a beer.
I think, yeah,
that would be good.
KATE:
Maybe there's one
in this weird refrigerator.
So it's, uh, you don't mind
if I make myself comfortable?
That's, uh, okay?
Grab a little bench.
Ah.
About four hours sleep
in the past 72,
those were all on the plane.
What's dumb
about my clothes?
Why are they so,
you know, complicated?
Why couldn't you have,
like, uh, a one color?
I know your favorite color.
Brown.
Green.
Green?
Green...
...makes me look yellow.
What about
black and white?
Black and white
and green?
Or green and black
or black and white?
Simpler.
Simple.
Oh.
"Happy families
are all alike." Tolstoy.
Yeah.
Boy, I know what it's like
to have two parents
who love each other
when you're growing up--
I don't.
You don't what?
I don't know what it's like.
My, uh--
My father was really
a true grotesque.
He gave my mother
a really bad time.
My father won't.
Oh, he's the dearest
man in the world.
My mother called me to tell me
she was getting married.
She said,
"I want you to know
I'll always
love you the best."
Now, I think that's kind of
a weird thing to tell your son
before you're gonna married.
[LAUGHS]
How'd you get that?
Stealing a homer
from Reggie Johnson?
No, no.
Jackson.
Your parents were really good
together, weren't they?
Yeah.
You just had to
see them together,
you know, they...
Oh...
My mother would take me
shopping, you know,
sometimes on Saturday.
We'd go to Best & Co.
or something,
and she'd just stop in a phone
booth and she'd call him.
She just would say hi.
Yeah.
You should have seen it.
Where'd you get that?
What?
Oh, that's...
[MUTTERS AND CLEARS THROAT]
I made an unassisted
triple play.
For an outfielder, that calls
for an extremely long stretch.
Mm.
What about that one?
Over the eye?
Yeah.
Well, I, uh, originated
the headfirst slide.
Pete Rose likes to
take credit for it.
But, uh...
What happened
to your shoulder?
My shoulder?
Mm.
Um...
Pitcher got pulled off
the mound.
[CLEARS THROAT]
The catcher, he broke his leg.
So I'm sitting
out in left field,
and I gotta come all the way in
and cover home plate.
Oh.
And that's when
Babe Ruth spiked me.
Do you have
lots of injuries?
Well, I had
a little tendonitis,
and, uh, a broken nose
last season.
I was the healthiest guy
on the team.
Are--
Are you a little uptight?
How many people in this bed?
What?
Freud said there that
are at least four people
in every relationship.
How many people do you
think there are here?
Are you shitting me?
No.
There's five.
Six.
Your father, my mother,
my father, your mother...
Oh.
Eight.
No, seven.
Boyfriend, married guy,
you and me is seven.
Your wife.
Hannah?
Eight.
Eight.
Have you ever, uh, been to bed
with a stranger before?
No.
Could you think of me
like a brother?
Don't tell anyone
you were here, okay?
All right, I won't, no.
It's okay.
I miss my mother.
You miss your mother?
Mm-hm.
[LAUGHS]
Are you always this nice?
Only if the lady likes me.
I don't like you.
You like this?
No.
I hate it.
Hate it.
I hate it.
[]
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
Oh, man...
[LAUGHS]
Oh, God.
Whoo!
I don't believe this.
Oh, thanks.
I just
don't believe this.
So, what have we got here?
Homer?
Is that what we got?
I'm really not sure.
I don't know.
What do you mean
you're not sure?
No signature.
Well, there's a card,
isn't there?
Yeah.
But it's in the florist's
handwriting.
What does it say?
Maybe they're
from my father.
"Miss you tonight."
Well, we know daddy ain't
missing you tonight, don't we?
Oh!
Mm.
Let me get something
for you.
Wait a second.
Oh.
No, no, Jesus!
Why? That's my shirt.
You mind--?
Tough titty! God!
I'll buy you a new one.
Yeah?
Why don't
you try washing it?
Do you like women
to do your washing?
Is that how you
get your kicks?
How do you get yours, honey?
That's what I'd like to know.
Do you think that your, um,
scars are some
kind of a turn-on?
Honey, I don't know
what turns you on.
I'm sorry if I, um,
I gave you more trouble
than the groupies
that you must be used to.
[LAUGHS]
I don't know
what right you have--
I got no right at all.
I'm sorry, I just--
I-I don't believe you.
Yeah, you said a bunch of things
that you know nothing about,
just-- I don't know
what I'm doing.
You don't know
what you're doing.
My life is, uh...
Your life?
It's complicated.
My wife and I, you know, it's--
It's not good.
You know, this, uh...job.
You start talking
about your family...
I think it's a trap.
Well, I never had anything
like that.
It's been, uh...
What?
What's it been?
Tough titty?
[LAUGHS]
I think your mother
is a lovely person.
[]
[BEN SIGHS]
What do you say, Kate?
I think, uh,
maybe call it a night,
huh?
Okay.
Okay.
It's been nice
meeting you.
Ha. Yeah.
Really.
[SIGHS]
You sit over there.
And...
Where?
Right--
Right in that chair.
I have this all arranged.
Wait, wait,
I have to get you...
Oh, these are nice flowers
you got here.
Yeah. Here, you're gonna
sit on these.
Yeah?
Yeah.
See if it's comfortable.
All right.
Okay?
You want me real high up, huh?
Kate, I, uh,
like to give you and Homer
the beach house
as a wedding present.
I don't know.
Thank you, Daddy.
We'll see.
What about this job?
Well,
you'd have
a fancy daughter.
I have a fancy daughter.
[LAUGHS]
Would you have enough time
for your own research?
I don't know.
It's not--
It's not clear.
I'd have to--
I'd have to move
to New York.
Mm.
Well, I think you ought
to sit down with Homer
and seriously discuss it.
How it affects
your work if you...
[BLOWS]
...move.
Or if you stay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And, uh, I mean,
uh, the life that you're
building together,
what that's all
gonna be about.
Who can bend and how...
Katherine?
Yes, Daddy?
You ever cut
anyone's hair before?
[LAUGHING]
I used to watch very
carefully what Mommy did.
Are you aware
that everything you bought
is black and white or green?
[LAUGHS]
Okay,
I'll see you Sunday.
You and Hunter
seemed great last night.
I hope I have that
some day.
You'll have it.
Yeah, maybe
I'll get lucky this time.
Well, it's not just luck,
it's hard work.
I can work hard.
Katie, if you've found the right
person, then make it work.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
I think so.
I hope so.
I'll see you Sunday.
See you Sunday.
BOTH:
Bye.
[PHONE RINGING]
Uh, hello?
Oh.
Yes, Professor Raskawa.
I enjoyed it too.
Oh...
Well, I'm honored.
Yes.
Oh, of course, I owe it
to my department
to talk to them first.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
I'll speak to you Monday.
Thank you.
Oh.
Thank you.
Uh--
"Sorry."
Hi.
Hi, Emma.
It's me.
Hi, Daddy. No, actually,
I wanted to talk to, uh, Emma.
I wanted Maryanne's
phone number.
Oh, he is?
Ben's there?
Oh, really.
[GASPS]
Oh,
actually, I have
a special wedding present
for you too.
Yeah.
Could I bring it over?
Great. Okay.
I'll see you
in a couple of minutes.
All right.
Bye-bye.
Shit.
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
[]
Please, be careful
of the top.
Very good.
Excellent.
Daddy, hi.
JACOB: Hi.
I saw Mommy's chest,
it's just out on the sidewalk.
Yeah, I know. I know.
The elevator's stuck.
They're gonna bring it right up.
I thought you were Goodwill.
[LAUGHS]
Hi.
BEN:
L-E-W-I-N.
I ordered this
over a month ago
from your national
vice president, right.
The demonstrator
was supposed to be here
between 2 and 3.
One of your gift's arrived.
Yeah, I'll hold.
You look nice.
Let me help you.
Hi.
Your wedding present.
Oh.
Uh, yeah.
It's right here.
"L-3-4-9-9."
Let me show you
around the house.
This-- We're gonna make this
into a little study.
No, Lewin as in Larry.
And, uh, this is
the dining room.
Isn't this nice?
Yeah.
JACOB:
There's the, uh, living room.
KATE:
Uh-huh.
JACOB: Isn't that nice?
KATE: Yep.
We got a lot of room here
when you--
Yes.
When you come to visit.
It's big.
You could always
sleep in Ben's bed.
JACOB:
The master bedroom here.
Kate.
You'll like this room.
MAN:
Hey, Ben.
Hey! Your goddamn company's
got me on hold, huh?
Good to see you.
Good to see you, as well.
Come on out here,
I need your muscles. Oh.
I'm surprised. I didn't expect
you to be here in person.
I figured I'd come myself.
Yeah.
I thought you'd show up
to watch the old fox.
Flicker.
Hey, Mrs. L!
Ah, nice to see you.
Ha-ha.
Francis V. Jarvis,
executive vice president
in charge of public relations,
at your service.
Well. Jacob? I'd like you
to meet my fianc,
Dr. Jacob Gunzinger.
Congratulations, doc.
Thank you.
I was gonna
court her myself.
You beat my time.
This guy's got
a lot of hustle.
Well, why else
would I be marrying him?
A doctor, huh?
Retired.
Aren't we all?
You said it, babe.
Let's go, huh?
[LAUGHS]
See, this is a little larger
than the home models, you know?
But it's got 80 percent
more power.
Flicker, I can't
thank you enough
for bringing it over
yourself.
Thank you, Ben,
that's a fine present.
I'll just get rid
of those boxes for you.
I'll walk you out.
Uh, Ben.
Yeah.
Out, it's got to go out.
Jacob could break his hip.
Oh, no, no, I like it.
I'd like to try it.
Out, right now. Ben,
I want it out of the house.
Why don't you two discuss it?
I'll say goodbye to Flicker.
I told George
to list you for today.
You--?
Oh, what an asshole thing to do.
What the hell you do
something like that for?
It would be fun,
like old times.
Come on, the old-timers' game?
It's a freak show.
Am I gonna sit there with
Ty Cobb's 91-year-old roommate?
Come on.
Look, you'll be on national TV.
Now, just think
of the Nielsen rating.
That's some exposure.
Yeah.
Maybe some tire company's
looking for a fancy VP.
You got a job lined up, man?
Nope.
You hear about Jerry Lanz?
What?
Slapped those franchises
all over the middle Atlantic.
Fun furs, frozen yogurt.
Yeah, you caught
his act on the tube?
[BOTH LAUGH]
It's been a thrill.
It's been a thrill.
Hey, and I wanna--
I wanna see you later.
Okay, babe.
Ah. Shit.
Here, I'll get it out.
Uh-oh, here you go.
Oh, I love it, I love it.
Oh.
Oh, Kate. Kate.
What a thoughtful gift.
Yeah?
It looks dangerous.
You can make sherbet,
you can shred zucchini--
And you could also
cut a hand off.
You just follow
the directions.
Do you like sherbet?
Yeah, sure.
Oh!
Uh-oh. Oh.
Just a minute.
Oh, God.
There's nothing to worry about.
It's not deep.
Emma, where's my bag?
Oh, it's--
I think it's in the kitchen.
I'll get it.
JACOB:
It's all right.
Just keep your hand up
a few minutes.
Emma, I think
I put it in the closet.
Serves you right.
Trying to mutilate
my mother like that.
What about you, trying to
disintegrate my dear old dad?
This really-- This really is
a very, very pretty blouse.
Is that, uh--?
It's green.
[PHONE RINGS]
Still alive?
EMMA:
Hello.
All right. Ben?
Telephone.
Just hold it.
Paper...
Hannah's back.
Hello?
Hey, Tinka! Hiya, honey.
How was Grandma's?
What--?
Honey, speak English, will you?
It's Daddy.
You did, huh? Well, I got
a present for you too.
No, no, tomorrow.
No, in the afternoon.
Yeah,
I love you too, honey.
Okay.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
MAN:
Goodwill.
Hi, Listen, I'm catching a
flight tomorrow afternoon.
Getting into Akron
about 4:00.
Hey, you wanna help me?
Sure.
[KNOCKING]
MAN: Goodwill.
BEN:
No, I can call you
from the airport.
Okay. I'll talk
to you then. Bye.
You call that
three things?
[EMMA GASPS]
Last call for books, Ben.
[SIGHS]
Want me to give you
a hand?
Yeah.
It'd be nice, thank you.
This was my, uh,
father's study.
Yeah?
Yeah.
I used to hate this room.
Yeah?
Yeah.
I always felt like I was coming
into the principal's office.
"Your mother informs me
you plan to play Triple-A ball."
He was angry?
He was nothing. He was
like a goddamn death mask.
MOVER:
You call that ready, huh?
You know, it's ironic,
he didn't pay
any attention to baseball
because it really was the kind
of game he would've appreciated.
You call that finished?
Freddy, back off, will you?
I thought your father hated
your being a ball player?
Well, ha,
I thought so too.
Just how many
are there here? Hm.
Look at this.
How many are there?
There must be
more than 20.
It looks to me like he was
trying to work out
some kind of trade. You know,
he needed about 14 of me
to get one Lou Piniella.
Who's Lou Piniella?
"Who is Lou Piniella?"
Lou.
Lou?
Lou.
Lou!
Lou, Lou, Lou!
What are you doing?
You got a coat?
Yeah.
BEN:
How about a hat?
You got a hat?
No. Ooh!
BEN:
If you get cold,
sit on the glove.
If you're home in an hour,
turn on the television.
Catch your son, one last time.
You're gonna be on television?
Yeah.
[ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING]
ANNOUNCER:
Good afternoon, everybody,
and welcome to Old-Timers' Day
at Yankee Stadium.
It's a pleasure
to be here again
for the 34th annual
Old-Timers' Game.
Everybody's a Yankee
on Old-Timers' Day
at Yankee Stadium.
We've been waiting all year
for this game.
And it's a gorgeous day
here in New York City.
In just a few minutes
we'll have our annual
two-inning game.
How old do you you have to be
to be an old-timer ?
Not old, lady.
Just finished.
ANNOUNCER:
Former Yankee player,
former coach,
now an assistant
to the owner
of the New York Yankees,
Elston Howard.
[ORGAN PLAYS, CROWD CHEERS]
Once again,
here at great Yankee Stadium,
welcome for "Rapid Robert,"
Bob Feller.
[ORGAN PLAYS, CROWD CHEERS]
[CROWD LAUGHS]
ANNOUNCER:
This Hall Of Fame member
was the greatest left-hander
of the '50s.
The Chairman of the Board,
Whitey Ford.
[ORGAN PLAYS,
CROWD CHEERS LOUDLY]
ANNOUNCER:
We have a young old-timer.
He played in the 1975
World Series.
Big hand for Ben Lewin.
[ORGAN PLAYS, CROWD CHEERS]
[SCREAMS]
Go, Ben!
Hey.
MAN 1:
Too bad.
He had a couple
of good years left.
Yeah.
Great arm.
MAN 2:
Yeah.
MAN 3:
I thought Lewin
still played for Cleveland.
He's the guy who robbed
Reggie Jackson
of his homer in Detroit,
you know?
Robbed?
Yeah.
The ball fell in his glove.
ANNOUNCER:
The man who's set a record
of 61 home runs in one season,
Roger Maris.
[ORGAN PLAYS, CROWD CHEERS]
Hey, Roger, what do you think
you get for 61 home runs?
What do you think
they give you?
Two-fifty hitters
are getting a million bucks!
ANNOUNCER:
What else can I say other
than the great number seven,
Mickey Mantle.
[ORGAN PLAYS, CROWD CHEERS]
MAN 1:
Hey, Mickey, they couldn't
afford to pay you today!
There ain't enough money,
Mickey.
They'd have to
give you the team!
They'd have to
give you the stadium!
Which one is Lou Piniella?
That's in the real game.
MAN:
Oh, say, can you see?
By the dawn's early light
What so proudly
We hailed
At the twilight's
Last gleaming
Whose broad stripes
And bright stars
Through the perilous fight
O'er the ramparts
We watched
Were so gallantly streaming
And the rockets' red glare
The bombs bursting in air
ANNOUNCER:
And now coming up: Roger Maris.
[CROWD CHEERING]
[ORGAN PLAYING "CHARGE"]
ANNOUNCER:
Foul ball,
out of play.
[WOMAN YELLS]
[CROWD CLAMORING]
ANNOUNCER:
A sharp ground ball
back to the pitcher.
He lobs it to first
and Maris is out.
I almost caught it.
ANNOUNCER:
And here now is Mickey Mantle.
[ORGAN PLAYS "CHARGE"]
[CROWD CHEERS]
[GASPS]
ANNOUNCER:
A spectacular play.
[ORGAN PLAYS "CHARGE"]
BOY 1:
It's Ben Lewin.
BOY 2:
Mr. Lewin,
can we have your autograph?
BEN:
Uh, I can't do it now.
I'm looking for my lady.
All right? Huh?
BEN:
Come on, guys.
Ben!
Get to the game next year.
All right?
Hey! Thanks, guys.
How are you?
What?
How are you?
I'm fine, I'm all right.
You are?
Yeah, let's get out of here
before the game starts.
What were you in?
A sideshow.
Oh.
I had a great time.
Did you? Yeah?
Oh. It was great.
Good. I'm glad.
That was a great catch.
Ah, no great catches
in the Old-Timers' game.
You hungry?
Yeah.
You like Chinese food? I know
a great Chinese restaurant.
Wanna go?
All right, let's go.
I almost caught a ball
up there.
Did you?
Yeah.
I owe you one.
What's this?
What?
AB. It's At Bats.
Oh.
Hey!
[WHISTLES]
You've compiled a lot
of statistics here.
It's very impressive.
Impressive, huh?
Uh-huh.
Entire history on the back
of a bubblegum card,
that's impressive?
Here we go.
Let's forget the food, huh?
I got a better idea.
[]
Your watch is slow.
It's Chicago time.
Why don't you change it?
Mm-mm.
Why?
It's Cooperman's time.
Cooperman's time?
Mm.
Who the hell is Cooperman?
He's this kid in my class.
He's working on the same stuff
I'm working on.
I keep my watch
on Chicago time
so I can keep track
of when he sleeps,
which he probably
never does.
You know, mm,
I should probably
take this fancy
administrative job,
move to New York. I wouldn't
worry about Cooperman.
Administrative. What is that?
You don't want that kind of job.
You know,
if I'd become a doctor,
I'd just be beginning
my career now.
You know, I went down
to the Institute of Biofeedback.
I saw this guy controlling
his own heartbeat.
Right, he had no pills,
no machines,
nothing.
That'd be a great field
for you.
I figured
if I could do something
like that for somebody...
Oh, you should do it.
Definitely.
Well, see in New York here
it would cost a fortune.
No.
Do it anyway.
Yeah?
A lousy marriage,
got a kid in school, no job.
I don't know.
Maybe.
Yeah. You should.
I should, huh?
Yeah.
[]
[CHUCKLES]
Why are you trying
to talk me out of this job?
We'd be in New York
at the same time.
RABBI:
We are here,
family of Emma and Jacob,
to witness an act of faith.
Faith in themselves,
in their future,
and faith in the institution
of marriage.
By the power vested in me
by the State of New York,
I now pronounce you
man and wife.
May God shine his blessings
upon you,
and shed his radiance
on the sweetness
of your days together.
Hey, all right!
[ALL CHATTERING]
Marvelous.
Congratulations.
Good match.
I can't say congratulations.
It's okay.
You don't have to go back
right away, do you?
Why don't you come down
to Florida and visit me?
Oh. Rita, too many spring
trainings down there.
No, actually I gotta leave
for Akron tonight.
I'm catching a 5:00 flight
tomorrow morning
for Charleston, West Virginia.
An awards breakfast.
Is that a way for a mature man
to make a living?
What? Are you kidding?
I'd love it.
Well...
Congratulations.
Thank you.
She's a lovely lady,
believe me.
I-I wish you
all the best.
Um, to, uh,
the felicitous exchange
of souls,
I would like to propose a toa--
Thank you, Jerome.
Thank you.
I'll tell Emma.
Do you always
make toasts like that?
JEROME: Well...
Uh, I mean--
No, you don't.
I do.
I do too.
Oh, do you?
[TALKING INDISTINCTLY]
[WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]
Ladies and gentlemen...
The bride is feeling
a little tired.
We're going to be
leaving you now
so that she can, uh,
sit quietly for a few minutes
and decide
if she's made a mistake.
[ALL LAUGHING]
You never know what he's
going to come out with.
I got that,
I got that.
RITA:
Oh, darlings, wait for us.
We'll all go down
to the airport together.
Listen,
what do you do on Monday?
I get up.
I, uh-- I make breakfast.
Yeah, what do you do then?
I, um...
I prepare my lecture,
and at 10:30 I go to school.
Then what do you do?
I, uh--
I wanna know what you do
for the whole day.
Oh, my bag! Wait!
I got your bag,
I got your bag.
Let me take the suitcase.
You take this here.
I need to talk to you.
My flight's boarding already.
You need something to make
you feel the way you do
when you play ball, right?
Yeah.
You're having a bad time
with your wife.
I'm gonna take this job.
No, it's okay.
And you can come to New York,
you could do your training.
I love being in New York.
We can take
an apartment together.
I can pay for the rent.
Look, I get a big raise
with this job.
I can help you
with your tuition.
You're gonna take the job?
Yeah.
You said I like to choose
my game, right?
What are you choosing,
a fancy title?
I'm choosing you.
Oh, bullshit.
You're not choosing me.
I am.
No, you're not.
You're telling me
that I am the solution
to your problem.
I'm not gonna be
indebted to you
taking a job
you don't even want.
You said it was a question
of money.
Well, that was
for starters, yeah.
Not to mention a wife
and a daughter.
And the fact that I got a plane
to catch, and so do you.
Yeah,
but I can take the next one.
I can change in Buffalo.
I'll leave from Newark,
I don't care.
Before I came here I found out
my wife was having an affair
with my best friend.
You know how I felt?
You know what I felt?
Nothing.
I didn't feel anything.
I felt more this weekend
than I have
in a hell of a long time.
But the fact is, I've still
got a daughter in Akron,
and I don't wanna
leave her alone.
And I got a marriage.
Seven years.
You know what I'm talking about?
I'm talking about seven years.
WOMAN [ON PA]:
Trans World Airlines, Flight--
But we need more time.
You could probably re-route
through Cleveland.
We could have another hour.
An hour is not gonna
make a difference.
I have a through flight to Akron
and I gotta go home.
You know,
if you flew to Detroit,
you might get a direct
Akron connection.
You could even fly
to Toronto.
Toronto?
I don't wanna fly to--
Shh.
I'm not flying to Toronto.
I gotta resolve
what's there.
I'm not ready to jump into
something new yet, you know.
What is wrong
with something new?
Look at our parents.
Look what they found.
What our parents found
is terrific, honey.
But they're
connected to each other.
And that takes hard work,
responsibility,
and a lot of demands.
I don't think you ever made
that kind of commitment
in your life.
You're so in control, I don't
think you know what you feel.
You sound like this dumb jock
who would rather
hang onto a wife
who is screwing his best friend
than change
a plane reservation.
I mean, at least I'm willing
to take a chance in this.
How are you gonna put
your life together
if you can't even contemplate
re-routing through Toronto?
You wanna change your life on
some guy you balled last night
for the first time, go ahead,
just leave me out.
Fine. Okay. You're out.
At least I'm not hiding
behind some dead marriage.
You wanna take a cop-out job
to be near this true love,
you met two days ago, fine. Just
leave me out if it, no thanks.
Out. You're out of it!
And so while--
While at it, Lady Chicago, you
just leave him out of it too.
Why don't you give
Homer a break?
You leave him out of it and you
make your own goddamn decision
about whether you do
want this job,
or whether you do or don't want
that man or this man, all right?
It's no smoking, please.
[]
Take care of yourself, okay?
Yeah. Thanks.
Does that make us nothing?
No. It's--
It's-- It's not nothing.
It's just--
There's no way.
I can't do it now, Kate.
I'm proud to know
I have a brother
who robbed Reggie Jackson
of his homer in Detroit.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
I love you, sis.
Goodbye.
Bye.
[]
What are you-- What were you
doing in New York, Kate?
Oh, uh, I was going
to my father's wedding.
A prime number is one
that cannot be expressed--
Help you with these?
No, I'm just gonna go upstairs.
Not too heavy?
Is two a prime number?
Yes.
Is-- Is three?
Yes.
Is four?
No.
Why?
Two times two.
Smart?
Yeah, smart kid.
See you later.
Bye.
Bye.
You a graduate of, uh, Harvard?
BOY: No. I went to Yale.
HOMER: Yeah.
[]
Hi.
Hi.
Mm. You all right?
Yeah.
Sure?
Congratulations
on the job.
Oh, thanks.
What's happening? What?
Sit down, Homer.
Uh-oh, what? What's-- What's--
No, it's just...
I-- I don't know
how to say this to you.
I saw something
in New York that--
Oh, I don't know, but--
My parents had it.
Gail has it.
My father has it again.
Bigger than a breadbox?
Don't joke with me!
I need to be able
to talk to you.
Uh, I talk to you.
No, you don't.
You don't talk to me,
you make me laugh,
but you don't talk to me.
I talk to you.
I'm talking now.
Before I left I wanted to
talk to you about Emma,
and all you could say was,
"Leave her alone."
You said you didn't like her
because she couldn't swim.
Did you actually want me
to discuss that?
That's because you don't
hear me.
You don't pay attention
to me.
What,
I'm supposed to walk around,
any time you have
something on your mind
I should just stop and listen?
Maybe.
Oh, God! No.
You mean that, don't you?
I can't do that.
Uh, that's like
a full-time job.
I can't. It would be
exhausting to do that.
Look, what-- What--
What's happening here?
You got the job, you wanna
move to New York, and--
And you're worried about
how we're gonna work it out?
Is that what's happening?
It's more than that.
I really don't know what
we're talking about here.
I really don't.
I mean, I--
You don't know
what you want.
You want what
your parents have,
and you want to do
breakthroughs.
You want laughter but I
shouldn't make a lot of jokes.
You can't have it all.
I love you,
but it does take
a lot of jokes. It works.
It doesn't work for me.
[]
It doesn't.
Listen, uh,
you're not, uh--
Uh, what--?
What's happening here?
Really, what's happening here?
Are you--? Are you...?
You're not saying you might
want to stay in Chicago
and not live here?
You don't hear me, do you?
I just need to be
more connected.
I need to feel that my problems
are your problems,
and that your problems are mine,
and that--
That we nurture each other.
It's not just you, it's me.
I-- I want to support you
more too.
You mean,
like we two as one?
Yes!
It sounds just like
my marriage.
It does. That sounds exactly
like my marriage.
I get you to help me
with my gestures on my speech.
Oh, don't joke, please.
Ah, no,
this is not what we wanted.
We were stupid.
I mean, we talked about,
uh, space.
Give each other
a lot of space.
We have too goddamn
much space!
I'm sorry.
I don't think I can do
what you're describing.
I-I-I really don't.
I mean, I did that,
and it really
drove me crazy.
I know.
Frankly,
I-I prefer the jokes.
I know.
I really don't wanna live
through every moment
of another person's life.
I mean, not even yours.
[LAUGHING]
I don't know what happened
in New York.
I really don't know,
but I don't want it
to turn my life inside out.
I don't--
I don't want that.
I know you don't.
You never have.
I knew something
was wrong.
I knew it.
I just didn't know
what it was till I left.
And you know now what...
Yeah, now I know.
Do you realize
what this sounds like to me?
I do.
Boy, see, I-I knew we should
never have sat down to talk.
I knew what I was doing.
This is really...
Oh, boy.
[]
Hey, Dr. Gunzinger.
Oh, hi.
Hi, Mr. Cooperman.
Hi.
How was your weekend?
Weekend?
Yeah.
Uh,
you made any progress?
Well,
I'll tell you,
I've been thinking.
Yeah?
KATE:
I think I've been looking
in the wrong place.
I have some new ideas
about the two fusion.
COOPERMAN: What? What?
Yeah.
COOPERMAN:
You mean Dot O
to Dot G?
KATE:
Right. Just in
the simplest case though.
Oh, but that might be the hinge
of the whole problem.
Yeah, right away that's
gonna give you the quotient.
That's immediate.
Right.
It's just
a beginning though.
Show me what
you're talking about.
Oh, I can't do it now.
Show me.
Look, I-- I'm gonna
be here for a while.
The classification
might even drop right out.
This is incredible.
Yeah, if this works
we could be famous.
What? Listen,
it's just a beginning.
The tough part
is working it out.
Yeah, I know.
[]
Dr. Gunzinger?
Yeah.
First they sent me
to New Hall,
I thought I was
gonna miss you.
From Benjamin Lewin, Jr.,
who owes you one.
He said to tell you he's working
on re-routing through Toronto.
[DIANA ROSS' "IT'S MY TURN"
PLAYING]
[SIGHS]
It's my turn
To see what I can see
I hope you'll understand
This time's just for me
Because it's my turn
With no apologies
I've given up the truth
To those
I've tried to please
But now it's my turn
If I don't have
All the answers
At least I know
I'll take my share
Of chances
Ain't no use in holding on
When nothin' stays the same
So I'll let it rain
'Cause the rain
Ain't gonna hurt me
And I'll let you go
Though I know
It won't be easy
It's my turn
With no more room for lies
For years I've seen my life
Through someone else's eyes
And now it's my turn
To try and find my way
And if I should get lost
At least I'll own today
It's my turn
Yes, it's my turn
And there ain't no use
In holding on
When nothing stays the same
So I'll let it rain
'Cause the rain
Ain't gonna hurt me
And I'll let you go
Though I know
It won't be easy
It's my turn
To see what I can see
I hope you'll understand
This time's just for me
Because it's my turn
To turn and say goodbye
I sure would like to know
That you're still
On my side
Because it's my turn
It's my turn
It's my turn
To start from number one
Trying to undo
Some damage
That's been done
But now it's my turn
To reach and touch the sky
No one's gonna say
At least I didn't try
It's my turn
Yes, it's my turn
It's my turn
It's my turn
It's my turn
KATE:
Let me show you how
to construct the map S,
which is the fun
of the lemma anyhow.
Okay?
So you assume you have
an element
in the kernel of gamma.
That is, an element in C such
that gamma takes you
to zero in C prime.
You pull back to B
by the map G,
which is surject--
Hold it, hold it, hold it.
That's-- That's not unique.
Yes, it is unique,
Mr. Cooperman.
Up to an element
in the image of F. All right?
So we pulled it back
to a fixed B here,
then you take beta of B,
which takes you
to zero in C prime
by the commutivity
of the diagram.
It's therefore in the kernel
of the map G prime,
hence is in the image
of the map F prime,
by the exactness
of the lower sequence.
No.
So we can pull it back
No.
to an element in A prime.
It's not well-defined.
Which it turns out
is a well-defined module
of the image of alpha.
And thus defines an element
in the co-kernel of alpha.
And that's the snake.
And on Monday
we'll address ourselves
to the co-homology
of groups
and Mr. Cooperman's
next objections.
This-- This stuff
is just garbage.
It's another diagram chase.
When are we going to move on
to something interesting?
Like your new group?
Any progress
with the two fusion?
Nope. Still stuck.
Maybe you've gone as far
as you can with it, Dr. G.
That's possible.
I've started looking
at it with a whole new angle.
Oh.
And if it works,
I'll be famous.
Oh.
That would be terrific.
I can relax.
I'll be famous
for having taught you.
Fuck face.
[]
Famous.
[]
[]
MAN:
Schneider.
Schneider, don't tell me
in all of Chicago
you can't get that wood.
Look, screw Consolidated!
[WHISPERING]
Screw Consolidated.
Screw me.
I'm-- I'm actually talking
on the phone.
I'm sorry.
Look, we've gotta get
the lumber by the 13th
or we can't start.
If you can't get the birch,
get the maple,
if you can't get the maple,
then go with
the goddamn $8 oak.
Formica.
Formica looks great.
Yeah, yeah.
But, you know, get something.
I don't care where you go
to get it, but get--
One thing I'm not gonna do.
I'm not gonna sit on my butt,
take Consolidated's word,
and wait till
the market bumps to 10.
We gotta
make a deal by noon.
Okay, Schneider?
I don't wanna yell at you,
but you know what I'm saying?
Okay, Schneider.
God, you're cute
when you're mad.
Do they wonder
what you're like at home?
What am I like at home?
You're like
one perfect asshole at home.
Perfect, huh?
Yeah.
You know--
These pillows.
I don't know, they're so big.
Nobody's gonna
be able to sit here.
I would've helped you
if you waited for me.
Don't try to get
on my good side.
I didn't know you
had a good side.
[MOCKING TONE]
I didn't know you
had a good side. Heh.
Oh, God. I don't know
what I'm gonna do
about this interview
in New York this weekend.
Oh, thank you.
You peeled the onions.
This is great.
Thank you.
Plus,
there's this dumb wedding.
Should I go or not?
Go.
I don't think so.
Don't go.
Why not?
Look, your father's
getting married.
Go to your father's wedding.
Go to your father's wedding.
I am staying
in this dumb hotel
so my father won't even know
that I'm in town.
I told you that.
I'm gonna be the spinster
at this wedding.
You're a spinster,
don't feel bad.
I'm not.
Come here, come here.
Look at me. Look at me.
Come with me to the wedding.
Ha-ha, I'm just kidding.
The reason I don't wanna go
to this wedding
is I can't stand the woman
that my father is marrying.
I mean, why does he have
to marry someone his own age?
You know, he could have married
a-- A chorus girl.
Really.
I understand.
No, you don't. You don't.
I mean, she's making him
sell the house.
She doesn't even know
how to swim.
She doesn't know how to swim?
Oh! You never said
she didn't know how to swim.
That's serious.
Give me a break.
A woman, who doesn't know how
to swim, is getting married.
We're having Grand Marnier
omelets for dessert.
We're having peaches
for dessert.
Cooperman
is snapping at my ass,
my father is marrying
someone I hate.
We're having
Grand Marnier omelets, okay?
[]
[HUMMING]
[]
Carry your two.
KATE:
I'd like to kill
that little Cooperman.
Now he's working
on the two fusion.
Jesus.
[SIGHS]
[SIGHS]
I should work this weekend
instead of running around
to a pointless interview.
They probably just want me
because I'm a woman.
I just don't wanna go up
for it and not get it, you know?
Oh, Homer.
Uh, no.
Do you know that I'm not even
sure that I want this job.
I mean, I don't know
I want an administrative job.
It's boring.
Do you know--?
Are you making fun of me?
What? No.
Go ahead. I'm-- I'm--
Oh, no.
BOTH:
You are!
Do you know what I'd like?
What?
God, if I could just solve
this problem.
I-- Do you understand,
it would be--?
I would be in a-- In a class
with Euclid and Newton.
Really.
Uh-huh.
I would be--
Except for Newton made his
breakthrough when he was 22.
Uh-oh.
Homer!
Okay.
It's not funny.
No, no.
This is serious.
I'm-- Oh, listen.
You kidding?
Talking about your breakthrough.
This is my life!
Of course, I'm listening.
Look, maybe...
Maybe I don't even
have to make a choice.
Maybe I can take this job.
I'll have time
to do my own work.
Then the only problem I'd have
would be leaving you.
Which might not
be a bad idea.
[LAUGHS]
[LAUGHS]
Kate, taking Homer with you
to New York this weekend?
No, what for?
To hang around outside
my interview?
No. To go with you
to your father's wedding.
I'm not sure
I'm gonna go.
Really?
Mm.
The original daddy's girl?
I think I might just go
to the interview
and come right back.
Well, I hope you get it.
It sounds like a great job.
I'd have to move to New York.
I'd go in a second.
Really?
What about Homer?
We're just getting settled,
you know?
Yeah, I know.
He's very nice, you
know.
He makes me laugh.
Yeah, I know.
He gives me lots of space.
Yeah, I know.
Of course I care,
she's my daughter too.
[WHISPERING]
Interview or wedding?
Either.
Well, why?
What does she say?
She's not eating or what?
Lucy.
On the left, I think.
Uh, appendicitis is what?
No, just a--
Oh, is her stomach hard
with pain?
Is her stomach hard with pain?
Is her stool loose?
Is her stool loose?
No.
It's not appendicitis.
Not appendicitis.
It's probably just
an upset stomach.
Yeah, just--
Just have her rest.
I thought that was fixed?
It broke?
It broke again?
All right,
well, don't--
Don't worry about it.
How did the audition go?
All your experience counts
for something.
Other people could
have big resumes but,
I mean, you know about--
[KATE GRUNTS]
HOMER: Unfeeling husbands.
[KATE GROANS]
Audrey, look, I wanna talk
to you about this more, but--
L-Let me call you back.
[SIGHS]
I cannot wear this
to an interview.
Katherine,
take it easy.
Take it easy.
You said it yourself.
You probably won't even
get the job.
It's just
an affirmative action ploy.
They gotta interview
a woman. Take it easy.
I don't wanna go
to the interview.
I don't wanna go
to the wedding.
You go to the wedding you'll
be able to have pastrami.
Do you think they're
getting married in a deli?
God.
Where are they getting married?
For lunch you're having--
What?
--a cheese sandwich.
Tonight you have--
What are you doing?
--cold skewers of shish kebab.
Sunday you have the kids.
Chinese with the kids.
Kate. Kate, take it easy.
Lunch.
Take it easy.
Shit.
I'll broil you--
I'll broil you a chicken.
I don't have time to do this.
Hey! Take it easy!
You're gonna have to go out.
So I'll make some eggs.
You can't have eggs.
We had eggs
in last night's souffl.
That's too much cholesterol.
So I'll have a coronary.
Really.
Ow! Ow!
Okay, it's nothing,
it's nothing.
The chicken slipped.
The chicken slipped.
Okay, let me see.
Broke my toe.
You should wear shoes.
Oh, it's nothing.
No, it's broken.
My toe.
It's your out.
It's your out.
Dear Dad, can't make wedding,
chicken broke toe
and I don't care.
Chicken broke toe
And I don't care
Chicken broke toe
And I don't care
Chicken broke toe
And I don't care
Da-boo, boo, boo, boo
I'm all packed.
This concept of housing
holds out the promise
of a life of dignified
and autonomous.
My toe's better.
Oh, okay.
What we've done
in this project
is to employ the idea
of defensible space.
There's been a gratifying
consensus among the elderly
that this concept
of housing will--
Uh...
What?
What?
No, no. W--
D-Don't you think
that, um,
"gratifying consensus" is--
Is a crap phrase?
A crap phrase?
Yeah.
I don't think
it's a crap phrase, no.
No?
No, I don't think so.
Possibly.
Yeah, look at it.
Possibly.
You want to listen to this?
Yeah.
Would you like that? Okay.
Well, listen to this.
Uh, you seem easy.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Um...
This is just the rough draft.
Don't, uh-- You know. Okay.
"The elderly in buildings with
family units include children--
"For the elderly in buildings
with family units,
including children
are being victimized."
What does that mean?
Could you make that
simpler, more direct?
Elderly people
who live in buildings, uh--
Down the hall could be a family
with teenage kids.
Uh-huh.
They go
to their mailbox to, uh,
pick up
a social security check.
They go shop, they come back
they're afraid somebody's gonna
beat the shit out of them.
Oh, I-- I didn't get that.
Oh, that's great.
Why don't you say that?
I can't say beat the shit out
of them. This is gonna be on TV.
You're right, you're right.
I'm sorry.
Um...
"What we do is take two
of the buildings in the project
"and designate them
as elderly buildings.
This way--"
Wait a minute.
I don't think you should
say "elderly buildings."
Why not?
I don't think it's clear.
It's perfectly clear.
It sounds as if the buildings
are elderly. Yes.
No, no.
Elderly people
in the building.
No.
It sounds like this, uh,
rusty pipes, cracking walls--
Elderly buildings.
Yeah.
Maybe. Maybe.
Uh...
All right, let me look--
It's probably a moot point.
Maybe. I'll look at it.
"Uh, a new person
coming to visit,
a teenage delivery boy
sticks out like a sore thumb."
Don't always-- I'm sorry.
What?
When you're doing it.
I'm not doing gestures.
No, I'm just running through--
Okay. Right.
Okay. No, I--
Don't think that-- This is not--
All right.
Oh, I-- I'm sorry.
"Patrols sit in
the lobby together
"and watch the television
monitor in the courtyard.
Then they press the buttons
to admit people or not."
That's-- I like that.
I like that phrase,
it's good.
What's a good phrase? Sit--
Sit in the lobby?
Press buttons?
Both of them.
Both?
Yeah. Good phrases.
[PHONE RINGS]
Brilliant.
Sure.
Hello. Schneider.
I'll have you out of there
in 24 hours.
[LAUGHS]
I'll miss you.
Have a good time.
"And designate them
as buildings
in which only elderly tenants
will reside."
[]
[]
Daddy?
I'm here.
No, in New York.
Yeah.
Oh, uh, actually, I'm--
I'm staying in a hotel.
Yeah.
I know it's crazy,
but I thought I'd surprise you.
Here's your keys, miss.
No. I wouldn't miss
your wedding for the world.
Oh, of course
I'll be there Sunday.
I'm going to this interview,
and I'll see you tonight.
Oh.
Jeremy Grant
at Yale,
he's a great fan
of your thesis.
You know, uh--
Have you done any, uh,
new work in your group yet?
Uh, no.
Not yet.
I broke my back
on group theory.
Now it's moved way past me now.
No, new younger minds
have to take over.
Has your own work come
to a standstill, Dr. Gunzinger?
Well, I--
[CLEARS THROAT]
I certainly hope not.
No.
You know this job
is largely administrative.
Oh, yes, I understand
that there'd be
some administrative duties,
but I certainly expect
to continue with my own work.
I-If you can manage
to do your own work too,
we'd be delighted.
You could guarantee me a--
A certain number of hours for
my own research, couldn't you?
No, no. We can't
guarantee that.
But-- But your workload
would vary from year to year.
Right. Sure.
Vary from year to year.
It's been a pleasure
to meet you.
Yes, you too, professor.
Take care.
Excuse me. Bye.
Take care.
Very nice--
Call you soon.
Nice to talk to you, professor.
Arigato, Professor Ioto.
[SIGHS]
[]
[BAND PLAYING MELLOW MUSIC]
[LAUGHS]
Daddy. How are you?
Oh!
Emma. Emma,
you remember my lovely girl?
Kate, how are you, dear?
KATE: Oh, you look great.
JACOB: Yes.
KATE: You should have seen me.
JACOB: How about you?
I just blew it.
The first thing they said to me,
"Has your own work
come standstill?"
Okay.
Come here, I wanna--
Where are you going?
If you wanna talk to me
you have to all around.
Kate.
[WHISPERS]
Thank God your dear mother
didn't live to see this day.
GAIL:
Kate, you creep.
I had to find out
from Uncle Jake
you moved in with Homer.
Oh, yeah. We finally--
We moved in because--
We thought, why not?
You know?
Oh, it's--
GAIL: That's great.
JACOB: Kate.
There's lots of space.
And love? No love?
JACOB:
Kate, come back here.
You haven't met everybody.
Can I help it?
I'm just
an old-fashioned girl.
Bloomingdale's tomorrow?
Great.
I'll talk to you later.
This is Maryanne,
my lovely new daughter.
KATE:
Hello. Good to meet you.
JACOB: Jerome, psychiatrist.
Pleased to meet you.
KATE: How do you do?
JACOB: Ben, like his father.
Hi.
Hi. Sorry.
Now tell me, how did
the interview go?
Oh...
I should have kept
my mouth shut.
I don't think
I'm gonna get it.
Well,
that doesn't sound like you.
This is the girl that got 100
on every math Regent except
for 98 in plane geometry.
Daddy.
JACOB:
Thesis was on sporadic groups.
I told my children to follow
their talents, do the things
that make them the happiest.
That's very impressive, Mom.
Let her eat.
Tell me, what did you get wrong
in plane geometry?
KATE:
The problem was to
compute the area
of a patio around a pool,
and I applied
the right method, but I--
I put the patio
inside the pool.
[LAUGHS]
That wouldn't happen to me now.
I live with a builder.
RITA:
So how is the married man?
KATE:
Rita.
Mom, Kate's friend was divorced
before she met him.
KATE:
Thank you, Gail.
Families.
Did you see
the dedication to, uh--
To Gail
in Lee Carnaby's novel?
No.
Yes. I saw it.
HUNTER:
She was his editor.
MARYANN:
Oh, I loved his last book.
[GUESTS CHATTERING]
[BAND PLAYING SLOW WALTZ MUSIC]
GAIL:
I really do enjoy it.
They're playing a waltz.
I wanna dance with my girl.
Thanks for the rescue.
Freudian.
I don't like shrinks.
Neither do I.
Why did you choose it
as a profession?
No, that was your father.
No, that was your father.
My father's a pediatrician.
Your father the pediatrician's
introduction.
My brother-in-law, Jerome,
he's a psychiatrist.
He said,
"Ben, like his father."
The name Ben.
Oh.
Which one is your wife?
Uh, the one you don't see.
She's in Holland.
Good.
Whoa. Excuse me.
Excuse me.
I'm sorry.
You all right?
Fred I think you'd
better find Ginger. I--
You feel sick?
I'm gonna barf all over
my tap shoes.
Take a deep breath. That's it.
Take a deep breath.
That's it.
That's good.
All right.
You still feel nauseous?
Yeah?
Yeah.
Uh...
Okay, let's go for it.
Put two fingers
in the back of your throat,
just let her rip.
I gotcha.
Just watch out for the shoes.
I gotcha.
Mm.
No guts?
Are you all right?
KATE:
Mm-hm.
You sure?
Yeah. Fine.
Oh, I hope you visit us
in Stockbridge.
It's a nice house.
We have a duck pond.
Oh. Well,
I have very little time off,
and when I do,
I try to get to the ocean.
Your father told you that, uh,
he sold the beach house
because of me.
Yeah.
Oh, I understand.
You have a duck pond.
That's wonderful.
Your father's not supposed to
heave that boat around.
I mean,
after his last cardiogram,
not even day sails
if he won't put a motor on.
I know that.
Well, if you and your mother
couldn't, uh--
Couldn't make him do it,
what chance do I have?
So I told him that I, uh--
I would like to live
in Stockbridge
to be near Maryanne
and the children.
That's nice. Nice.
I mean,
for you, that's great.
Be near your grandchildren.
Ha. Kate,
I've raised my children.
I mean, I-- I don't wanna
be an unpaid babysitter
for my grandchildren.
I don't understand.
Jacob will sell
the beach house for my sake,
not because
of his last cardiogram,
but because he thinks
that I want to live
in Stockbridge.
It's not a perfect plan.
My son-in-law and I are not
what you'd call devoted.
I mean, he thinks
I'm a pretty silly woman.
[LAUGHS]
I guess he's right.
Here I am choosing to live
only a goddamn duck pond
away from him.
[LAUGHS]
I'm not a brilliant young
mathematician who--
Who can do sporadic groups.
I just did
the best I could.
Uh, what color is your dress?
For Sunday?
Blue.
Nice.
A lovely color for you.
Ugh.
Come on.
Ah!
BEN:
I got two
or three stadiums.
You know, you get
those white lights...
So what's it feel like, uh,
not to be playing anymore?
I'm sore every morning.
No one bothered to tell me
this was Ben Lewin.
Who?
Ben Lewin, Kate.
The guy who robbed Reggie
Jackson of his homer in Detroit.
Katie, he's a ball player.
He had an operation
on his shoulder.
He went
to spring training anyway,
but the doctors told him
he had to quit.
[LAUGHS]
BEN:
No, I don't think so.
I think I'm--
So you think you're going
to be a manager or--
Are you okay?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah?
Yeah.
I almost didn't recognize
you with that beard.
Yeah. It's only about
three months old
Still itches a little bit,
you know?
Classic case
of compensatory displacement.
[MOUTHS]
The beard.
I better get back to the party.
Nice talking to you.
Nice talking to you.
See you later.
Bye-bye.
Ben's father encouraged him
to go after sports
in order to get into
medical school.
The sports thing
was a means to an end,
but Ben missed the point.
A highly overrated boy.
[SIGHS]
Jerome, why don't you
grab a little bench?
Speak English, Ben.
Man talk.
Jacob, may I have the pleasure
of inviting your future bride
for a little dance?
Why not?
Thank you. Mama, come on.
KATE:
Wanna dance with me, Daddy?
[BAND PLAYING UPBEAT MUSIC]
How's you life?
Nice to see you.
It's fine. Good.
Yeah?
I'm working a lot.
[EMMA LAUGHS]
We're not embarrassing you,
are we?
How does my hair look?
[LAUGHS]
Well, you could use
a little trim, maybe.
Don't cut it too short,
though.
Just a little bit.
Well, you know how I feel
about barbers.
Haven't had a decent
haircut in two years.
Lovely. Yes.
See you tomorrow, Ben.
Oh, it was so much fun.
Listen, why don't
I come home with you?
I don't have to stay
in the hotel.
Well, honey, I wish you would
have mentioned something before.
I'll walk you home.
We can go for a nightcap.
Uh, wait, how's he gonna
get home then?
Well, I'll tell
the doorman to expect him.
I forgot my glasses.
Goodnight, Mom.
See you later, all right?
Bye-bye, Jacob.
Goodnight, Emma.
Bye, Dad.
Do you find it weird,
thinking about our parents
sleeping together?
You know, actually,
I really don't know very much
about your work.
Baseball.
I have a friend,
though, in Chicago--
Is that the married man?
Are you a celebrity?
I mean, it's really
wasted on me.
Do people come up to you?
Occasionally, yes,
in airport urinals.
What is it that
they recognize?
My oversized wrists.
You want a piece of gum?
You know,
Homer isn't married.
Excuse me,
did you say Homer?
Wait a minute. Homer?
Yeah.
You know, I may be
offered this job in New York,
and, uh, he can't move.
That's Homer can't? Yeah.
Homer.
We have problems.
You know,
modern problems.
What are you doing
these days?
I'm trying to be
a very sincere speaker.
No, actually I speak
at father-sons breakfasts.
Two hundred bucks a shot.
Little League.
Talk about sportsmanship,
discipline,
Boy Scouts, you know.
Got any gigs for me
in Chicago? I'm available.
KATE:
Maybe Homer can book you
with some senior citizens.
Well, I'm your man.
Oh, I forgot, I gotta
call Chicago tonight.
Any messages
for Gunzinger, please?
CLERK:
Just a minute, ma'am,
I'll check.
No, ma'am,
nothing for you.
Thanks.
Uh-oh...
Oh.
BEN:
Hm.
Well, we can always
order room service.
Oh!
Look.
All right.
Ping pong.
I am a Picasso in ping pong.
[SIGHS]
Wanna warm up?
No.
Let's just play.
Just play? You wanna serve?
You can serve.
I can serve?
Sure.
I haven't played for a while.
Really? One-nothing.
Oh, I'm usually
so good at this game.
Is this a regulation table?
All right, it's 2-nothing.
These clothes are so tight.
It's hard to move your arm.
That's 3-nothing.
I can count.
Oh!
Goddamn it!
Four-nothing.
Yeah.
Oversized wrists.
What about darts?
Are you some kind of demon
at darts too?
It's a dull game, darts.
Here's one.
Come on, let's play this one.
Baseball?
You'll love it.
I think you have
a distinct advantage.
What are you talking about?
It's a computer game.
You probably invented it.
All right, this is the batter.
I am the pitcher
and the outfielder, okay?
I'm gonna pitch--
You've played it before.
Couple times.
All right,
I'll give you the pitch
and you gotta hit it
with the bat.
Okay.
All right?
Okay.
Here comes the first one.
Outfield's moving in.
Okay.
The pitch is coming.
Yes, she's got it!
It's a big one!
Moving through the left,
he's back, he's got it,
she's going in for two!
[BEEPS]
Out!
That was close.
Out is not close.
Notice the synchronization.
They're going very well here,
all right?
I'm giving you
a curve ball this time.
Lewin's outfield
is moving in and over.
She's ready.
The pitch is coming.
[BOTH SHOUTING]
It's a double she's going!
Moving fast!
She's rounding second,
heading for third!
She's going for third!
She's going for third!
And she's out!
[BEEPS]
This is a dumb game!
What are you talking about?
You could win.
You're good at this.
Have you ever tried
to play darts?
It's a dull game.
[GROANS]
[GASPS]
One thing about this game,
you gotta be very kind
to your male opponent.
You're gonna get it this time.
You are gonna get it bad.
I'm ready.
None of this...
Oh, damn it!
Why are your clothes so dumb?
You're dumb.
I'm a ballplayer.
[SIGHS]
Come on, let's play.
I can win
this goddamn game.
[SQUEALS]
Let's go!
I like that action.
Come on!
Oh, I'm good at this game!
One last for the shot.
[GASPS]
That was lucky.
It's getting late.
What do you say
we have that one drink?
I think I could take you
at darts.
BEN:
You just gotta
choose the game, don't you?
That's a thread.
Oh.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
Do you know Chicago?
Yeah, played
a few games there.
It's America's first city
of architecture.
Would you
like that drink?
No, I don't, uh--
No, I don't think
I really want that drink now.
No, no.
Maybe I'll have
that drink.
You know, uh,
I'll have a beer.
I think, yeah,
that would be good.
KATE:
Maybe there's one
in this weird refrigerator.
So it's, uh, you don't mind
if I make myself comfortable?
That's, uh, okay?
Grab a little bench.
Ah.
About four hours sleep
in the past 72,
those were all on the plane.
What's dumb
about my clothes?
Why are they so,
you know, complicated?
Why couldn't you have,
like, uh, a one color?
I know your favorite color.
Brown.
Green.
Green?
Green...
...makes me look yellow.
What about
black and white?
Black and white
and green?
Or green and black
or black and white?
Simpler.
Simple.
Oh.
"Happy families
are all alike." Tolstoy.
Yeah.
Boy, I know what it's like
to have two parents
who love each other
when you're growing up--
I don't.
You don't what?
I don't know what it's like.
My, uh--
My father was really
a true grotesque.
He gave my mother
a really bad time.
My father won't.
Oh, he's the dearest
man in the world.
My mother called me to tell me
she was getting married.
She said,
"I want you to know
I'll always
love you the best."
Now, I think that's kind of
a weird thing to tell your son
before you're gonna married.
[LAUGHS]
How'd you get that?
Stealing a homer
from Reggie Johnson?
No, no.
Jackson.
Your parents were really good
together, weren't they?
Yeah.
You just had to
see them together,
you know, they...
Oh...
My mother would take me
shopping, you know,
sometimes on Saturday.
We'd go to Best & Co.
or something,
and she'd just stop in a phone
booth and she'd call him.
She just would say hi.
Yeah.
You should have seen it.
Where'd you get that?
What?
Oh, that's...
[MUTTERS AND CLEARS THROAT]
I made an unassisted
triple play.
For an outfielder, that calls
for an extremely long stretch.
Mm.
What about that one?
Over the eye?
Yeah.
Well, I, uh, originated
the headfirst slide.
Pete Rose likes to
take credit for it.
But, uh...
What happened
to your shoulder?
My shoulder?
Mm.
Um...
Pitcher got pulled off
the mound.
[CLEARS THROAT]
The catcher, he broke his leg.
So I'm sitting
out in left field,
and I gotta come all the way in
and cover home plate.
Oh.
And that's when
Babe Ruth spiked me.
Do you have
lots of injuries?
Well, I had
a little tendonitis,
and, uh, a broken nose
last season.
I was the healthiest guy
on the team.
Are--
Are you a little uptight?
How many people in this bed?
What?
Freud said there that
are at least four people
in every relationship.
How many people do you
think there are here?
Are you shitting me?
No.
There's five.
Six.
Your father, my mother,
my father, your mother...
Oh.
Eight.
No, seven.
Boyfriend, married guy,
you and me is seven.
Your wife.
Hannah?
Eight.
Eight.
Have you ever, uh, been to bed
with a stranger before?
No.
Could you think of me
like a brother?
Don't tell anyone
you were here, okay?
All right, I won't, no.
It's okay.
I miss my mother.
You miss your mother?
Mm-hm.
[LAUGHS]
Are you always this nice?
Only if the lady likes me.
I don't like you.
You like this?
No.
I hate it.
Hate it.
I hate it.
[]
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
Oh, man...
[LAUGHS]
Oh, God.
Whoo!
I don't believe this.
Oh, thanks.
I just
don't believe this.
So, what have we got here?
Homer?
Is that what we got?
I'm really not sure.
I don't know.
What do you mean
you're not sure?
No signature.
Well, there's a card,
isn't there?
Yeah.
But it's in the florist's
handwriting.
What does it say?
Maybe they're
from my father.
"Miss you tonight."
Well, we know daddy ain't
missing you tonight, don't we?
Oh!
Mm.
Let me get something
for you.
Wait a second.
Oh.
No, no, Jesus!
Why? That's my shirt.
You mind--?
Tough titty! God!
I'll buy you a new one.
Yeah?
Why don't
you try washing it?
Do you like women
to do your washing?
Is that how you
get your kicks?
How do you get yours, honey?
That's what I'd like to know.
Do you think that your, um,
scars are some
kind of a turn-on?
Honey, I don't know
what turns you on.
I'm sorry if I, um,
I gave you more trouble
than the groupies
that you must be used to.
[LAUGHS]
I don't know
what right you have--
I got no right at all.
I'm sorry, I just--
I-I don't believe you.
Yeah, you said a bunch of things
that you know nothing about,
just-- I don't know
what I'm doing.
You don't know
what you're doing.
My life is, uh...
Your life?
It's complicated.
My wife and I, you know, it's--
It's not good.
You know, this, uh...job.
You start talking
about your family...
I think it's a trap.
Well, I never had anything
like that.
It's been, uh...
What?
What's it been?
Tough titty?
[LAUGHS]
I think your mother
is a lovely person.
[]
[BEN SIGHS]
What do you say, Kate?
I think, uh,
maybe call it a night,
huh?
Okay.
Okay.
It's been nice
meeting you.
Ha. Yeah.
Really.
[SIGHS]
You sit over there.
And...
Where?
Right--
Right in that chair.
I have this all arranged.
Wait, wait,
I have to get you...
Oh, these are nice flowers
you got here.
Yeah. Here, you're gonna
sit on these.
Yeah?
Yeah.
See if it's comfortable.
All right.
Okay?
You want me real high up, huh?
Kate, I, uh,
like to give you and Homer
the beach house
as a wedding present.
I don't know.
Thank you, Daddy.
We'll see.
What about this job?
Well,
you'd have
a fancy daughter.
I have a fancy daughter.
[LAUGHS]
Would you have enough time
for your own research?
I don't know.
It's not--
It's not clear.
I'd have to--
I'd have to move
to New York.
Mm.
Well, I think you ought
to sit down with Homer
and seriously discuss it.
How it affects
your work if you...
[BLOWS]
...move.
Or if you stay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And, uh, I mean,
uh, the life that you're
building together,
what that's all
gonna be about.
Who can bend and how...
Katherine?
Yes, Daddy?
You ever cut
anyone's hair before?
[LAUGHING]
I used to watch very
carefully what Mommy did.
Are you aware
that everything you bought
is black and white or green?
[LAUGHS]
Okay,
I'll see you Sunday.
You and Hunter
seemed great last night.
I hope I have that
some day.
You'll have it.
Yeah, maybe
I'll get lucky this time.
Well, it's not just luck,
it's hard work.
I can work hard.
Katie, if you've found the right
person, then make it work.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
I think so.
I hope so.
I'll see you Sunday.
See you Sunday.
BOTH:
Bye.
[PHONE RINGING]
Uh, hello?
Oh.
Yes, Professor Raskawa.
I enjoyed it too.
Oh...
Well, I'm honored.
Yes.
Oh, of course, I owe it
to my department
to talk to them first.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
I'll speak to you Monday.
Thank you.
Oh.
Thank you.
Uh--
"Sorry."
Hi.
Hi, Emma.
It's me.
Hi, Daddy. No, actually,
I wanted to talk to, uh, Emma.
I wanted Maryanne's
phone number.
Oh, he is?
Ben's there?
Oh, really.
[GASPS]
Oh,
actually, I have
a special wedding present
for you too.
Yeah.
Could I bring it over?
Great. Okay.
I'll see you
in a couple of minutes.
All right.
Bye-bye.
Shit.
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
[]
Please, be careful
of the top.
Very good.
Excellent.
Daddy, hi.
JACOB: Hi.
I saw Mommy's chest,
it's just out on the sidewalk.
Yeah, I know. I know.
The elevator's stuck.
They're gonna bring it right up.
I thought you were Goodwill.
[LAUGHS]
Hi.
BEN:
L-E-W-I-N.
I ordered this
over a month ago
from your national
vice president, right.
The demonstrator
was supposed to be here
between 2 and 3.
One of your gift's arrived.
Yeah, I'll hold.
You look nice.
Let me help you.
Hi.
Your wedding present.
Oh.
Uh, yeah.
It's right here.
"L-3-4-9-9."
Let me show you
around the house.
This-- We're gonna make this
into a little study.
No, Lewin as in Larry.
And, uh, this is
the dining room.
Isn't this nice?
Yeah.
JACOB:
There's the, uh, living room.
KATE:
Uh-huh.
JACOB: Isn't that nice?
KATE: Yep.
We got a lot of room here
when you--
Yes.
When you come to visit.
It's big.
You could always
sleep in Ben's bed.
JACOB:
The master bedroom here.
Kate.
You'll like this room.
MAN:
Hey, Ben.
Hey! Your goddamn company's
got me on hold, huh?
Good to see you.
Good to see you, as well.
Come on out here,
I need your muscles. Oh.
I'm surprised. I didn't expect
you to be here in person.
I figured I'd come myself.
Yeah.
I thought you'd show up
to watch the old fox.
Flicker.
Hey, Mrs. L!
Ah, nice to see you.
Ha-ha.
Francis V. Jarvis,
executive vice president
in charge of public relations,
at your service.
Well. Jacob? I'd like you
to meet my fianc,
Dr. Jacob Gunzinger.
Congratulations, doc.
Thank you.
I was gonna
court her myself.
You beat my time.
This guy's got
a lot of hustle.
Well, why else
would I be marrying him?
A doctor, huh?
Retired.
Aren't we all?
You said it, babe.
Let's go, huh?
[LAUGHS]
See, this is a little larger
than the home models, you know?
But it's got 80 percent
more power.
Flicker, I can't
thank you enough
for bringing it over
yourself.
Thank you, Ben,
that's a fine present.
I'll just get rid
of those boxes for you.
I'll walk you out.
Uh, Ben.
Yeah.
Out, it's got to go out.
Jacob could break his hip.
Oh, no, no, I like it.
I'd like to try it.
Out, right now. Ben,
I want it out of the house.
Why don't you two discuss it?
I'll say goodbye to Flicker.
I told George
to list you for today.
You--?
Oh, what an asshole thing to do.
What the hell you do
something like that for?
It would be fun,
like old times.
Come on, the old-timers' game?
It's a freak show.
Am I gonna sit there with
Ty Cobb's 91-year-old roommate?
Come on.
Look, you'll be on national TV.
Now, just think
of the Nielsen rating.
That's some exposure.
Yeah.
Maybe some tire company's
looking for a fancy VP.
You got a job lined up, man?
Nope.
You hear about Jerry Lanz?
What?
Slapped those franchises
all over the middle Atlantic.
Fun furs, frozen yogurt.
Yeah, you caught
his act on the tube?
[BOTH LAUGH]
It's been a thrill.
It's been a thrill.
Hey, and I wanna--
I wanna see you later.
Okay, babe.
Ah. Shit.
Here, I'll get it out.
Uh-oh, here you go.
Oh, I love it, I love it.
Oh.
Oh, Kate. Kate.
What a thoughtful gift.
Yeah?
It looks dangerous.
You can make sherbet,
you can shred zucchini--
And you could also
cut a hand off.
You just follow
the directions.
Do you like sherbet?
Yeah, sure.
Oh!
Uh-oh. Oh.
Just a minute.
Oh, God.
There's nothing to worry about.
It's not deep.
Emma, where's my bag?
Oh, it's--
I think it's in the kitchen.
I'll get it.
JACOB:
It's all right.
Just keep your hand up
a few minutes.
Emma, I think
I put it in the closet.
Serves you right.
Trying to mutilate
my mother like that.
What about you, trying to
disintegrate my dear old dad?
This really-- This really is
a very, very pretty blouse.
Is that, uh--?
It's green.
[PHONE RINGS]
Still alive?
EMMA:
Hello.
All right. Ben?
Telephone.
Just hold it.
Paper...
Hannah's back.
Hello?
Hey, Tinka! Hiya, honey.
How was Grandma's?
What--?
Honey, speak English, will you?
It's Daddy.
You did, huh? Well, I got
a present for you too.
No, no, tomorrow.
No, in the afternoon.
Yeah,
I love you too, honey.
Okay.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
MAN:
Goodwill.
Hi, Listen, I'm catching a
flight tomorrow afternoon.
Getting into Akron
about 4:00.
Hey, you wanna help me?
Sure.
[KNOCKING]
MAN: Goodwill.
BEN:
No, I can call you
from the airport.
Okay. I'll talk
to you then. Bye.
You call that
three things?
[EMMA GASPS]
Last call for books, Ben.
[SIGHS]
Want me to give you
a hand?
Yeah.
It'd be nice, thank you.
This was my, uh,
father's study.
Yeah?
Yeah.
I used to hate this room.
Yeah?
Yeah.
I always felt like I was coming
into the principal's office.
"Your mother informs me
you plan to play Triple-A ball."
He was angry?
He was nothing. He was
like a goddamn death mask.
MOVER:
You call that ready, huh?
You know, it's ironic,
he didn't pay
any attention to baseball
because it really was the kind
of game he would've appreciated.
You call that finished?
Freddy, back off, will you?
I thought your father hated
your being a ball player?
Well, ha,
I thought so too.
Just how many
are there here? Hm.
Look at this.
How many are there?
There must be
more than 20.
It looks to me like he was
trying to work out
some kind of trade. You know,
he needed about 14 of me
to get one Lou Piniella.
Who's Lou Piniella?
"Who is Lou Piniella?"
Lou.
Lou?
Lou.
Lou!
Lou, Lou, Lou!
What are you doing?
You got a coat?
Yeah.
BEN:
How about a hat?
You got a hat?
No. Ooh!
BEN:
If you get cold,
sit on the glove.
If you're home in an hour,
turn on the television.
Catch your son, one last time.
You're gonna be on television?
Yeah.
[ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING]
ANNOUNCER:
Good afternoon, everybody,
and welcome to Old-Timers' Day
at Yankee Stadium.
It's a pleasure
to be here again
for the 34th annual
Old-Timers' Game.
Everybody's a Yankee
on Old-Timers' Day
at Yankee Stadium.
We've been waiting all year
for this game.
And it's a gorgeous day
here in New York City.
In just a few minutes
we'll have our annual
two-inning game.
How old do you you have to be
to be an old-timer ?
Not old, lady.
Just finished.
ANNOUNCER:
Former Yankee player,
former coach,
now an assistant
to the owner
of the New York Yankees,
Elston Howard.
[ORGAN PLAYS, CROWD CHEERS]
Once again,
here at great Yankee Stadium,
welcome for "Rapid Robert,"
Bob Feller.
[ORGAN PLAYS, CROWD CHEERS]
[CROWD LAUGHS]
ANNOUNCER:
This Hall Of Fame member
was the greatest left-hander
of the '50s.
The Chairman of the Board,
Whitey Ford.
[ORGAN PLAYS,
CROWD CHEERS LOUDLY]
ANNOUNCER:
We have a young old-timer.
He played in the 1975
World Series.
Big hand for Ben Lewin.
[ORGAN PLAYS, CROWD CHEERS]
[SCREAMS]
Go, Ben!
Hey.
MAN 1:
Too bad.
He had a couple
of good years left.
Yeah.
Great arm.
MAN 2:
Yeah.
MAN 3:
I thought Lewin
still played for Cleveland.
He's the guy who robbed
Reggie Jackson
of his homer in Detroit,
you know?
Robbed?
Yeah.
The ball fell in his glove.
ANNOUNCER:
The man who's set a record
of 61 home runs in one season,
Roger Maris.
[ORGAN PLAYS, CROWD CHEERS]
Hey, Roger, what do you think
you get for 61 home runs?
What do you think
they give you?
Two-fifty hitters
are getting a million bucks!
ANNOUNCER:
What else can I say other
than the great number seven,
Mickey Mantle.
[ORGAN PLAYS, CROWD CHEERS]
MAN 1:
Hey, Mickey, they couldn't
afford to pay you today!
There ain't enough money,
Mickey.
They'd have to
give you the team!
They'd have to
give you the stadium!
Which one is Lou Piniella?
That's in the real game.
MAN:
Oh, say, can you see?
By the dawn's early light
What so proudly
We hailed
At the twilight's
Last gleaming
Whose broad stripes
And bright stars
Through the perilous fight
O'er the ramparts
We watched
Were so gallantly streaming
And the rockets' red glare
The bombs bursting in air
ANNOUNCER:
And now coming up: Roger Maris.
[CROWD CHEERING]
[ORGAN PLAYING "CHARGE"]
ANNOUNCER:
Foul ball,
out of play.
[WOMAN YELLS]
[CROWD CLAMORING]
ANNOUNCER:
A sharp ground ball
back to the pitcher.
He lobs it to first
and Maris is out.
I almost caught it.
ANNOUNCER:
And here now is Mickey Mantle.
[ORGAN PLAYS "CHARGE"]
[CROWD CHEERS]
[GASPS]
ANNOUNCER:
A spectacular play.
[ORGAN PLAYS "CHARGE"]
BOY 1:
It's Ben Lewin.
BOY 2:
Mr. Lewin,
can we have your autograph?
BEN:
Uh, I can't do it now.
I'm looking for my lady.
All right? Huh?
BEN:
Come on, guys.
Ben!
Get to the game next year.
All right?
Hey! Thanks, guys.
How are you?
What?
How are you?
I'm fine, I'm all right.
You are?
Yeah, let's get out of here
before the game starts.
What were you in?
A sideshow.
Oh.
I had a great time.
Did you? Yeah?
Oh. It was great.
Good. I'm glad.
That was a great catch.
Ah, no great catches
in the Old-Timers' game.
You hungry?
Yeah.
You like Chinese food? I know
a great Chinese restaurant.
Wanna go?
All right, let's go.
I almost caught a ball
up there.
Did you?
Yeah.
I owe you one.
What's this?
What?
AB. It's At Bats.
Oh.
Hey!
[WHISTLES]
You've compiled a lot
of statistics here.
It's very impressive.
Impressive, huh?
Uh-huh.
Entire history on the back
of a bubblegum card,
that's impressive?
Here we go.
Let's forget the food, huh?
I got a better idea.
[]
Your watch is slow.
It's Chicago time.
Why don't you change it?
Mm-mm.
Why?
It's Cooperman's time.
Cooperman's time?
Mm.
Who the hell is Cooperman?
He's this kid in my class.
He's working on the same stuff
I'm working on.
I keep my watch
on Chicago time
so I can keep track
of when he sleeps,
which he probably
never does.
You know, mm,
I should probably
take this fancy
administrative job,
move to New York. I wouldn't
worry about Cooperman.
Administrative. What is that?
You don't want that kind of job.
You know,
if I'd become a doctor,
I'd just be beginning
my career now.
You know, I went down
to the Institute of Biofeedback.
I saw this guy controlling
his own heartbeat.
Right, he had no pills,
no machines,
nothing.
That'd be a great field
for you.
I figured
if I could do something
like that for somebody...
Oh, you should do it.
Definitely.
Well, see in New York here
it would cost a fortune.
No.
Do it anyway.
Yeah?
A lousy marriage,
got a kid in school, no job.
I don't know.
Maybe.
Yeah. You should.
I should, huh?
Yeah.
[]
[CHUCKLES]
Why are you trying
to talk me out of this job?
We'd be in New York
at the same time.
RABBI:
We are here,
family of Emma and Jacob,
to witness an act of faith.
Faith in themselves,
in their future,
and faith in the institution
of marriage.
By the power vested in me
by the State of New York,
I now pronounce you
man and wife.
May God shine his blessings
upon you,
and shed his radiance
on the sweetness
of your days together.
Hey, all right!
[ALL CHATTERING]
Marvelous.
Congratulations.
Good match.
I can't say congratulations.
It's okay.
You don't have to go back
right away, do you?
Why don't you come down
to Florida and visit me?
Oh. Rita, too many spring
trainings down there.
No, actually I gotta leave
for Akron tonight.
I'm catching a 5:00 flight
tomorrow morning
for Charleston, West Virginia.
An awards breakfast.
Is that a way for a mature man
to make a living?
What? Are you kidding?
I'd love it.
Well...
Congratulations.
Thank you.
She's a lovely lady,
believe me.
I-I wish you
all the best.
Um, to, uh,
the felicitous exchange
of souls,
I would like to propose a toa--
Thank you, Jerome.
Thank you.
I'll tell Emma.
Do you always
make toasts like that?
JEROME: Well...
Uh, I mean--
No, you don't.
I do.
I do too.
Oh, do you?
[TALKING INDISTINCTLY]
[WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]
Ladies and gentlemen...
The bride is feeling
a little tired.
We're going to be
leaving you now
so that she can, uh,
sit quietly for a few minutes
and decide
if she's made a mistake.
[ALL LAUGHING]
You never know what he's
going to come out with.
I got that,
I got that.
RITA:
Oh, darlings, wait for us.
We'll all go down
to the airport together.
Listen,
what do you do on Monday?
I get up.
I, uh-- I make breakfast.
Yeah, what do you do then?
I, um...
I prepare my lecture,
and at 10:30 I go to school.
Then what do you do?
I, uh--
I wanna know what you do
for the whole day.
Oh, my bag! Wait!
I got your bag,
I got your bag.
Let me take the suitcase.
You take this here.
I need to talk to you.
My flight's boarding already.
You need something to make
you feel the way you do
when you play ball, right?
Yeah.
You're having a bad time
with your wife.
I'm gonna take this job.
No, it's okay.
And you can come to New York,
you could do your training.
I love being in New York.
We can take
an apartment together.
I can pay for the rent.
Look, I get a big raise
with this job.
I can help you
with your tuition.
You're gonna take the job?
Yeah.
You said I like to choose
my game, right?
What are you choosing,
a fancy title?
I'm choosing you.
Oh, bullshit.
You're not choosing me.
I am.
No, you're not.
You're telling me
that I am the solution
to your problem.
I'm not gonna be
indebted to you
taking a job
you don't even want.
You said it was a question
of money.
Well, that was
for starters, yeah.
Not to mention a wife
and a daughter.
And the fact that I got a plane
to catch, and so do you.
Yeah,
but I can take the next one.
I can change in Buffalo.
I'll leave from Newark,
I don't care.
Before I came here I found out
my wife was having an affair
with my best friend.
You know how I felt?
You know what I felt?
Nothing.
I didn't feel anything.
I felt more this weekend
than I have
in a hell of a long time.
But the fact is, I've still
got a daughter in Akron,
and I don't wanna
leave her alone.
And I got a marriage.
Seven years.
You know what I'm talking about?
I'm talking about seven years.
WOMAN [ON PA]:
Trans World Airlines, Flight--
But we need more time.
You could probably re-route
through Cleveland.
We could have another hour.
An hour is not gonna
make a difference.
I have a through flight to Akron
and I gotta go home.
You know,
if you flew to Detroit,
you might get a direct
Akron connection.
You could even fly
to Toronto.
Toronto?
I don't wanna fly to--
Shh.
I'm not flying to Toronto.
I gotta resolve
what's there.
I'm not ready to jump into
something new yet, you know.
What is wrong
with something new?
Look at our parents.
Look what they found.
What our parents found
is terrific, honey.
But they're
connected to each other.
And that takes hard work,
responsibility,
and a lot of demands.
I don't think you ever made
that kind of commitment
in your life.
You're so in control, I don't
think you know what you feel.
You sound like this dumb jock
who would rather
hang onto a wife
who is screwing his best friend
than change
a plane reservation.
I mean, at least I'm willing
to take a chance in this.
How are you gonna put
your life together
if you can't even contemplate
re-routing through Toronto?
You wanna change your life on
some guy you balled last night
for the first time, go ahead,
just leave me out.
Fine. Okay. You're out.
At least I'm not hiding
behind some dead marriage.
You wanna take a cop-out job
to be near this true love,
you met two days ago, fine. Just
leave me out if it, no thanks.
Out. You're out of it!
And so while--
While at it, Lady Chicago, you
just leave him out of it too.
Why don't you give
Homer a break?
You leave him out of it and you
make your own goddamn decision
about whether you do
want this job,
or whether you do or don't want
that man or this man, all right?
It's no smoking, please.
[]
Take care of yourself, okay?
Yeah. Thanks.
Does that make us nothing?
No. It's--
It's-- It's not nothing.
It's just--
There's no way.
I can't do it now, Kate.
I'm proud to know
I have a brother
who robbed Reggie Jackson
of his homer in Detroit.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
I love you, sis.
Goodbye.
Bye.
[]
What are you-- What were you
doing in New York, Kate?
Oh, uh, I was going
to my father's wedding.
A prime number is one
that cannot be expressed--
Help you with these?
No, I'm just gonna go upstairs.
Not too heavy?
Is two a prime number?
Yes.
Is-- Is three?
Yes.
Is four?
No.
Why?
Two times two.
Smart?
Yeah, smart kid.
See you later.
Bye.
Bye.
You a graduate of, uh, Harvard?
BOY: No. I went to Yale.
HOMER: Yeah.
[]
Hi.
Hi.
Mm. You all right?
Yeah.
Sure?
Congratulations
on the job.
Oh, thanks.
What's happening? What?
Sit down, Homer.
Uh-oh, what? What's-- What's--
No, it's just...
I-- I don't know
how to say this to you.
I saw something
in New York that--
Oh, I don't know, but--
My parents had it.
Gail has it.
My father has it again.
Bigger than a breadbox?
Don't joke with me!
I need to be able
to talk to you.
Uh, I talk to you.
No, you don't.
You don't talk to me,
you make me laugh,
but you don't talk to me.
I talk to you.
I'm talking now.
Before I left I wanted to
talk to you about Emma,
and all you could say was,
"Leave her alone."
You said you didn't like her
because she couldn't swim.
Did you actually want me
to discuss that?
That's because you don't
hear me.
You don't pay attention
to me.
What,
I'm supposed to walk around,
any time you have
something on your mind
I should just stop and listen?
Maybe.
Oh, God! No.
You mean that, don't you?
I can't do that.
Uh, that's like
a full-time job.
I can't. It would be
exhausting to do that.
Look, what-- What--
What's happening here?
You got the job, you wanna
move to New York, and--
And you're worried about
how we're gonna work it out?
Is that what's happening?
It's more than that.
I really don't know what
we're talking about here.
I really don't.
I mean, I--
You don't know
what you want.
You want what
your parents have,
and you want to do
breakthroughs.
You want laughter but I
shouldn't make a lot of jokes.
You can't have it all.
I love you,
but it does take
a lot of jokes. It works.
It doesn't work for me.
[]
It doesn't.
Listen, uh,
you're not, uh--
Uh, what--?
What's happening here?
Really, what's happening here?
Are you--? Are you...?
You're not saying you might
want to stay in Chicago
and not live here?
You don't hear me, do you?
I just need to be
more connected.
I need to feel that my problems
are your problems,
and that your problems are mine,
and that--
That we nurture each other.
It's not just you, it's me.
I-- I want to support you
more too.
You mean,
like we two as one?
Yes!
It sounds just like
my marriage.
It does. That sounds exactly
like my marriage.
I get you to help me
with my gestures on my speech.
Oh, don't joke, please.
Ah, no,
this is not what we wanted.
We were stupid.
I mean, we talked about,
uh, space.
Give each other
a lot of space.
We have too goddamn
much space!
I'm sorry.
I don't think I can do
what you're describing.
I-I-I really don't.
I mean, I did that,
and it really
drove me crazy.
I know.
Frankly,
I-I prefer the jokes.
I know.
I really don't wanna live
through every moment
of another person's life.
I mean, not even yours.
[LAUGHING]
I don't know what happened
in New York.
I really don't know,
but I don't want it
to turn my life inside out.
I don't--
I don't want that.
I know you don't.
You never have.
I knew something
was wrong.
I knew it.
I just didn't know
what it was till I left.
And you know now what...
Yeah, now I know.
Do you realize
what this sounds like to me?
I do.
Boy, see, I-I knew we should
never have sat down to talk.
I knew what I was doing.
This is really...
Oh, boy.
[]
Hey, Dr. Gunzinger.
Oh, hi.
Hi, Mr. Cooperman.
Hi.
How was your weekend?
Weekend?
Yeah.
Uh,
you made any progress?
Well,
I'll tell you,
I've been thinking.
Yeah?
KATE:
I think I've been looking
in the wrong place.
I have some new ideas
about the two fusion.
COOPERMAN: What? What?
Yeah.
COOPERMAN:
You mean Dot O
to Dot G?
KATE:
Right. Just in
the simplest case though.
Oh, but that might be the hinge
of the whole problem.
Yeah, right away that's
gonna give you the quotient.
That's immediate.
Right.
It's just
a beginning though.
Show me what
you're talking about.
Oh, I can't do it now.
Show me.
Look, I-- I'm gonna
be here for a while.
The classification
might even drop right out.
This is incredible.
Yeah, if this works
we could be famous.
What? Listen,
it's just a beginning.
The tough part
is working it out.
Yeah, I know.
[]
Dr. Gunzinger?
Yeah.
First they sent me
to New Hall,
I thought I was
gonna miss you.
From Benjamin Lewin, Jr.,
who owes you one.
He said to tell you he's working
on re-routing through Toronto.
[DIANA ROSS' "IT'S MY TURN"
PLAYING]
[SIGHS]
It's my turn
To see what I can see
I hope you'll understand
This time's just for me
Because it's my turn
With no apologies
I've given up the truth
To those
I've tried to please
But now it's my turn
If I don't have
All the answers
At least I know
I'll take my share
Of chances
Ain't no use in holding on
When nothin' stays the same
So I'll let it rain
'Cause the rain
Ain't gonna hurt me
And I'll let you go
Though I know
It won't be easy
It's my turn
With no more room for lies
For years I've seen my life
Through someone else's eyes
And now it's my turn
To try and find my way
And if I should get lost
At least I'll own today
It's my turn
Yes, it's my turn
And there ain't no use
In holding on
When nothing stays the same
So I'll let it rain
'Cause the rain
Ain't gonna hurt me
And I'll let you go
Though I know
It won't be easy
It's my turn
To see what I can see
I hope you'll understand
This time's just for me
Because it's my turn
To turn and say goodbye
I sure would like to know
That you're still
On my side
Because it's my turn
It's my turn
It's my turn
To start from number one
Trying to undo
Some damage
That's been done
But now it's my turn
To reach and touch the sky
No one's gonna say
At least I didn't try
It's my turn
Yes, it's my turn
It's my turn
It's my turn
It's my turn