Jack (2004) Movie Script
What's this?
- I'm putting in a hoop for Jack.
- What's going on here?
What?
What are you doing?
I'm putting in a hoop for Jack.
Today?
Yeah, it was the only day
Mike was available.
It wasn't supposed to be today.
You have to tell me these things.
Oh, God, look at it.
Oh! What? Why did you...
- Because this is the only spot it can go.
- Oh, that's not the only spot.
Oh, this is ridiculous.
I mean, oh, I don't believe it.
He's gonna love it.
- This is it.
- You know what, this is the last time.
But the roses have black
spot already, I'll spray.
No, not with the, oh,
dammit, leave me alone.
Leave me alone.
Do you ever look at your family
and wonder who they are?
Those are my parents.
They're not my roses,
they're the house's roses.
At least they used to be.
How's the boat building?
Are we going to the movies?
I have to move some stuff.
But it's Saturday,
and we always go to
the movies on Saturday.
Jack wants to go to the movie.
I thought I'd drop the stuff off,
then maybe take him.
You're not taking him anywhere.
You're acting extreme, Anne.
Don't tell me how I'm acting.
Okay.
Sorry, no movie today, Jack.
Why not?
Because I say so.
But we always go to
the movies on Saturday.
Anne.
To be honest, I didn't give
a damn about the movie,
but there was
something going on,
and I didn't know what it was,
and I didn't know what to do,
except act normal.
Tell Jack I'll call him later.
It's like you had a hero,
and all of a sudden he's gone.
When you're a kid and you've got a father
who reminds you of Superman,
who seems like
he can do anything.
A father who's the kind of guy that climbs
on the roof to rescue your dweeby G.I. Joe
when it's caught up there
in some idiotic experiment.
And then, one day, he's gone.
Disappeared into a million
different green plastic garbage bags.
No explanations offered.
Nothing anyone says later
makes a bit of difference.
Shot of the green?
No thanks.
Listen, I was thinking, I could just stay
at my place tonight, if you like.
Whatever makes you happy.
Look, if you want me here, I'm here.
I just never know what you're thinking.
Why don't you let him
move in already?
He practically lives here anyway,
so what's the big deal?
Oh come on, he's living out
of a duffel bag.
You should at least
give him a drawer.
I don't wanna rush things.
It's Wednesday, so don't forget,
dinner with Dad.
Okay.
- Want a ride?
- Sure.
See ya tonight.
Wednesdays are very intense.
Yeah, it's the dinner
with the dad thing.
You know, when he first left,
I wasn't allowed to see him at all.
Then she felt guilty, so she started
the Dinner with Dad program.
You're lucky you missed the bit
where she tried to be like my replacement dad.
Oh, was that the
basketball stuff?
Mm-hmm, and she's
actually gotten pretty good.
It's just a little weird.
Especially the time she tried
to take me to the father-son team dinner.
Yeah...
so are your parents
still married?
Yeah, 43 years.
You know, it's amazing to think of spending
your whole life with the one person.
Yeah...
equally amazing to watch
your whole family fall apart.
For five bucks, name the guidance counselor
I spied shoplifting at K-Mart.
Wagstaff.
Laydon! I saw her slip
a stapler into her purse,
and then some Tootsie Rolls.
All right, listen up.
We're gonna start with some drills.
Four lines, go, go.
One passes to three.
Two passes to four.
A braid, you guys,
like a smooth strand of DNA.
From one side of the
gym to the other, let's go.
Come on, synchronize,
guys, synchronize.
Know where the other men are,
anticipate the next move.
You're walking through it, guys,
you look like a buncha pansies, come on.
You know,
my dad showed
up again yesterday.
Oh yeah, what did
you do this time?
He put a basketball
hoop out front.
Oh really?
That's great.
Yeah, except last night,
I kinda lost my mind
and attacked it.
I tried to knock it down,
and now it's just a wee bit tilted.
Tilting adds character.
Maybe.
When Mrs. Burka smiled at me,
I think I turned beet red.
I woulda stared at her,
if only I could've figured out
how to do it without getting caught.
You want an apple?
No thanks.
Hey, Samster Hamster boy,
how you doing?
- Good.
- Want some milk?
No, we don't want milk, all right.
We don't wanna talk, either.
You staying for
dinner tonight, Jack?
No, not tonight.
Okay.
I like your mom. She always
wants to know everything...
No, my mom needs
to get a life, okay?
Every day I come home, she's like,
"Do you wanna talk?"
She's thoroughly bored.
See what I just did?
So, you gonna drop
a bomb or what?
No, Max,
I outgrew the impulse to blow
things up about two years ago.
I'm just waiting
for you to catch up.
Napalm!
Daddy's home!
Daddy's home, Daddy's home!
Hey, hey, monster man.
Hey, hon, how was your day?
- Good.
- Yeah?
Good, really good.
I scored a new client today.
It's gonna mean extra work, but uh,
that's what I'm here for, right?
Oh, no... here.
- Do you want a beer or something?
- Yes, please.
- Great.
- Thank you.
Maxie,
go deep.
Head's up!
Honey...
why are the trashcans
still here?
How many times have I told you
to take them out back?
I better go.
It's dinner with Dad.
How is your dad?
I haven't seen him for a while.
He's good.
What I didn't tell Mr. B.
is that every Wednesday
night, my father and I
played a weird game
where we got all dressed up
and he took me to some
totally expensive restaurant
and talked to me about
incredibly serious stuff,
like the meaning of life,
while I was busy worrying about
whether I was using the right fork.
What can I get you tonight?
I'll have the tuna.
Rare please.
Okay, and what would you like?
And chicken for me.
And can I get french fries
instead of scalloped potatoes, please?
Sure, honey.
Look, Jack...
I've been spending a lotta time
trying to figure things out.
Now I don't know if this is gonna
make any sense to you, but...
you're at an age now, that...
People love to do things, right?
Some people love to read,
some people love
to go to the movies.
Your mom loves
reading the newspaper.
You love basketball.
What I'm trying to say is that there
are many different kinds of love.
How we love...
no, not how we love.
What...
What we allow
ourselves to feel...
is very complicated.
And, and...
sometimes love
doesn't have any limits.
What do you think about
when you think about love?
Nothing.
I think nothing.
Nothing, you think nothing.
So basically this dinner
was a waste of time?
Pretty much.
Do you remember when we
went on that huge Ferris wheel?
I think I was three.
Why is it that parents always do things with
kids when they're too young to remember?
You enjoyed it very much.
Look, you're always
asking me to remember.
It's like a constant walk
down Memory Lane.
Do you remember when
everything used to be normal?
Do you remember when
you still lived at our house?
Come on, can we just stay
in the present, here and now?
I was just thinking
about things.
Duh!
Here, try the calamari.
Tastes like a
deep-friend rubber band.
So what's calamari?
It's Italian for
deep-fried rubber band.
It's squid.
Wanna try the portobello?
What is it?
Mushroom.
How about I pick the
restaurant the next time?
Might be a good idea.
How was dinner with your father?
Good.
What did you eat?
Creepy stuff.
What did you talk about?
I have no idea.
Shall we hang this?
Okay.
You know, I got a hammer downstairs,
if you need one?
No, no, it's not a big hole.
Okay.
Listen, they're coming around to collect
stuff for the homeless shelter tomorrow,
so anything you don't need
would be a bounty for the poor.
- Sure.
- Oh, very nice.
It's stuff I've been saving.
Historical artifacts
of my entire life,
in case the Smithsonian ever
needs to do an exhibit on me,
the American boy.
Aha.
There are a few key elements
in case I ever get amnesia and
need to be reminded of who I am.
Right.
Thank you.
And listen, I meant to ask you.
How would you feel if I built a Zendo in the backyard?
What's a Zendo?
It's like a meditation room.
You could use it too
whenever you need a moment.
It'd be great.
Our friends thank you.
Shoot a few?
Mom...
you're embarrassing me.
Oh come on,
You know, I could get good at this.
Maybe I should join a team.
Oh, come on, try again.
Okay.
Come on, be a good sport,
you should be proud.
How many kids can say
their moms can play basketball?
Yes!
It's gonna be okay, you know?
That's it!
- That's it.
- Yeah.
Oh, come on!
Come on.
Aren't you excited?
Hi, Mr. Bailey.
Mrs. Stanford.
Go on.
Go on!
New drivers pass through levels.
Each level offers
more responsibility,
freedom from restrictions.
What's this?
- Rear bumper.
- Mm-hmm.
Teenagers pick up
their parents' driving habits.
- Trunk.
- Correct.
How do your parents drive?
Do they put it in reverse
without looking behind?
Do they pull out too fast?
The more crashes
the parents have had,
the greater the likelihood
the teen will crash.
Get in the driver's seat.
Have your parents crashed?
I don't know, they're divorced.
Put on your seat belt.
Start her up.
And drive it very,
very slowly down the street.
Okay.
Sorry.
- I have only one neck, smoothly.
- Sorry, sorry.
- Slowly, slowly.
- Sorry.
Seeing is believing.
Think about your blind spots.
You can't ever forget...
there's always something
you cannot see.
Yeah, that I know already.
Time passed.
It wasn't like I got over it,
but life went on.
Except for now, my mom let
my dad take me on Saturdays too.
I was finally growing more
hair on my legs than my mom,
and things were
pretty much things.
So, what's new?
Not much.
Are you okay?
Yeah.
You just have that look.
What look?
Hmh, the one where you're
about to say something
that's gonna make
me lose my lunch.
Or the one where you
pause for a really long time
and you say something
like, Grandma's sick,
which means she's already
dead or something like that.
Well, Grandma's fine.
But we need to talk.
See?
Look, Jack, I...
I don't know if you can understand,
but I'm gonna tell you.
I have been running away
from myself...
all these years, and, and...
a person can't do that forever.
It catches up.
A while ago, I realized that...
that I would be happier...
if I did not live
with your mother.
Hey...
I love her.
I always did, I always will...
and I still do, but...
Do you remember Bob?
My friend Bob?
Yeah, the guy you went
on the trip with?
Mm-hmm.
Bob and I are lovers.
I wanna go home.
Jack!
Jack!
Jack!
Jack?
Get in the car,
I'll give you a ride.
I'll walk, thanks.
Get in the car!
You're gonna get pneumonia.
- I'll walk.
- Jack, don't do this.
Do what?
You're the one who's doing it.
I told you because I thought
you should know.
Nothing has changed.
I'm exactly the same person
I was 20 minutes ago.
Jack, I'm still your father.
No you're not.
He never even told you?
Elaine.
Okay.
Yeah, I'll see you
tomorrow, bye.
What happened?
Well, other than my father
telling me he was gay,
I went for a swim.
How can this...
I shoulda seen it coming.
I shoulda been smarter.
I shoulda been...
paying attention to what he was trying to
tell me over all that lobster and calamari.
- Your father loves you very much.
- He's not my father.
Yes, he is! He's your
father and you're his son.
No.
Mom, no.
No. He's a stranger.
He's a person I don't know.
He's got a whole other life.
He's got a boyfriend.
How can this even be happening?
Did you know?
Oh well, how did he tell you?
Did he take you out
in a rowboat too?
He doesn't like keeping secrets.
Well he shoulda kept that one.
He and Bob are getting an apartment together.
Did he tell you that?
No, but he was probably
about to when I jumped.
Mom...
I don't wanna see him anymore.
If you wanna talk,
you gotta dig.
And what's to talk about?
All of a sudden,
my father is a fairy queen.
Is that why he left us?
He's a fairy?
Don't use that word!
What word should I use?
Your father and I separated
because we couldn't get along.
We couldn't live together.
You remember how we were always fighting.
Yeah, because it turns out
Dad's a big old fag.
How can he be a homo
and have me as his kid?
Homos don't get married,
and homos don't have kids.
Was he always a homo?
Your father was always
going through phases.
Gardening, music, car repairs.
It was always something.
I actually thought
this was one of his phases.
Why is he doing this to me?
No one is doing anything to you!
He was telling you who
he was, about his life.
And he wanted to
make you part of his life.
Well...
if he's a homo,
what does that make me?
Am I homo too now?
Because maybe that's it,
maybe I'm a homo and I don't even know it.
Jack, you're two
separate people.
He is who he is, and...
you're gonna figure out
who you are.
When he first left...
I thought it was my fault.
I was too boring,
I wasn't enough of a movie freak,
I wasn't fast
enough at baseball.
Life is complicated.
You think I didn't
wonder what happened?
He's your father,
but he was my husband.
Maybe it was me, Jack.
Maybe it was something I did.
I wasn't a good enough wife.
I wasn't a good enough mother.
I never made breakfast.
I smoke.
I hate cleaning the house.
No!
No, no...
no, it's not you!
It's Dad, it's his fault.
Mom...
I hate him.
I hate him, I hate him,
I hate him!
- Shh. Shh!
- I hate him! I hate him!
My father called
about 20 times a day
trying to get me to let
him be my father again.
He would drive over
and just sit outside,
not moving, like a statue.
I refused to talk to him,
and even that didn't work.
You ever just wanna go up to a girl
and plant one on her?
Like, I bet I can get
that girl to kiss me.
You don't even know her.
So?
What's the deal with you?
Suddenly, you're Mr. Hormonal.
You have to kiss a girl
or you're gonna die or something.
Okay, just pick a girl
and I bet I can get her to kiss me.
Fine.
And what about her?
Can't you at least pick someone
who's human?
Maggie Rogers?
No, the degree of difficulty on her
is just a big too high.
Well, you can't just go
up and kiss somebody.
You'll get arrested.
Okay, remember that
kindergartener who got expelled?
You have to ask first.
Is this where you're
supposed to be?
Uh, yeah, yeah it is,
for the moment,
this is, uh...
this is exactly where
I'm supposed to be.
Okay...
how did you do that?
Did you give her money?
Did you offer to do
her homework, what?
No, I just...
I said I thought she was really pretty
and that I wanted to kiss her.
I said I felt
compelled to kiss her.
And that worked?
Yep.
Wow!
Your first kiss.
Nah, not my first.
Maryann Miller in the second
grade used to kiss me all the time,
and she was in the third grade.
- An older woman.
- Yeah.
End of drill!
Come on, everyone back to class!
Hey.
Hey.
Thanks for meeting me.
It's fine.
Where's The Bob?
His name is Bob, not The Bob!
And he had a meeting
at the last minute.
Oh.
Okay.
New bookcase?
Oh yeah, yeah.
Actually, that's
how I met Michael.
I hired him to build
me a bookcase.
Jack still doesn't wanna see me?
No.
He's 15.
He's trying to grow up.
You deserted him in more ways
than one, you know.
Bob and I being together
doesn't mean I'm deserting Jack.
Really?
I'll try telling him that.
You were his hero.
Life isn't as simple for Jack
as it is for you.
Annie, with all due respect,
you have no idea
what's simple for me.
What do you want?
For everything to be okay.
What furniture do you want?
I'll take the chair.
What, that chair?
- No, no, no.
- It's my chair.
No, no, I like that chair.
Jack likes that chair.
Take that chair.
That chair... I hate that chair.
I've always hated that chair, you know that.
Couch?
Watch, watch.
I got it, I got it, I got it.
- Okay?
- Here, wait a minute.
One, two, three.
Okay, here.
What?
Come on, it's better
to break up like that.
Oh please.
Do you remember how we met?
Yeah, summer camp.
I was nine, you were seven.
Oh no, not you.
How kind you were, dear.
Come on, seriously.
Anne. Annie!
No, I remember.
Here.
Here.
You spilled coffee in
my book and lied about it.
I didn't lie.
It was an accident.
I was nervous.
I was so in love with you.
This is yours.
Annie, I need you
to know something.
This has nothing to do with you.
This has everything
to do with me.
It's my life,
and you messed it up.
No, no, no, no,
you don't get to do that.
You don't dump on somebody
and then comfort them.
It's just against the rules.
Appreciate your helping out with Jack.
I know it's not easy.
It's worse than that.
I keep defending you,
and all I wanna do
is strangle you.
Hi, Jack.
I came by to pick up
a few things for the apartment.
Look, I know you don't wanna
spend time with me right now, so...
instead of dinner, I thought
maybe we could go bowling.
You know, a group
activity might be better.
- No thanks.
- We can bring Max if you want.
There's also somebody
I'd like to introduce you to.
The daughter of a friend mine,
Maggie Rogers.
The Maggie Rogers?
Well, I don't know if
it's The Maggie Rogers.
But I think she
goes to your school.
Anyway...
I thought we'd bowl
a few rounds.
Okay.
And it's games!
You bowl games,
not rounds.
As much as I hated the idea
of being around my
father and The Bob...
it was Maggie
that made me do it.
Hey, Jack.
Hey.
Max.
Uh, five and a half, please.
Full sizes only.
Okay, six.
No sixes.
Make it a seven.
The minute I saw her,
I turned green.
The only thing missing
was the yearbook photographer.
What size for you?
Oh, I bowl in socks,
it gives me more slide.
Right.
So are you like
alone here or what?
Um, no, that's my father.
Who's the other guy?
Why did I bring you?
Because you like me,
you like me very much.
Okay, everyone, let's take a practice round
and then we'll start.
Burpa, that's what they
call him, Max Burpa.
- Wow!
- That's my girl.
Go, Maggie, yeah!
Okay, Jack, you're up.
Way to go, Jack, make potholes,
confuse everyone.
Jack, next time try to
keep your wrist straight.
Um, Bob, no advice, thanks.
Isn't Maggie great?
Great is an understatement.
You've already had a hot dog,
nachos and a soda, and what else?
I don't know, some Tootsie Rolls,
if you're counting.
I can definitely
go for ice cream.
Speaking of which,
guess who's here.
No idea.
Okay, I'll rephrase.
For $200...
guess which one of our schoolmates
bowls in a league.
Eddie Hayes?
Oh, no way, that's so queer.
He's in a league?
Hey, we're going to the opera.
- Well, what are you seeing?
- Carmen.
Carmen.
How'd you get tickets?
I thought it was sold out.
It was, but you know John
when he sets his mind to something.
Do you have a medical problem?
Hmm?
You know, they have drugs
for people who are hyper.
Yeah, you see, they thought he was hyper
but the tests came back normal.
Maybe they should
get him tested again.
I am taking Jim to Provincetown
for Memorial Day.
- Why?
- He's never been.
Never?
I was remembering the
first time I met The Bob.
About nine months
after he moved out,
my dad and I were going
on one of our adventures.
A boat trip to St. Michael's Island.
And my dad asked
if he could bring a friend.
Had I known then what I
know now, I woulda said no.
Okay, anybody have any shoes
they haven't returned?
Yeah.
I took mine back already.
Okay, I'll see you
guys at the car.
- See you, guys.
- See you outside.
Oh my God.
Oh, gross.
Am I seeing what
I think I'm seeing?
Gross, totally gross!
Okay...
was that artificial
respiration or something?
Was there a reason
for that, can you tell me?
Shut up, just shut up!
Can you ever just not talk?
He kissed the guy
right on the mouth, okay.
Not on the cheek.
Why do they have
to make out in public?
Do your parents
make out in public?
No, no, actually my parents
avoid touching at all times.
This was the
beginning of the end.
Look, it's nothing to
go insane about, okay?
You can use my locker
'til it wears off.
It's goddam black magic marker!
It's permanent!
It doesn't wear off!
Did you do this?
No, I didn't do it.
But, uh,
but maybe I accidentally...
mentioned a bit about two guys
kissing to a couple people.
Well, it freaked me out, okay?
I'm over it now.
I mean I get it.
It's a disease, okay, like a sickness.
Same as guys who chop people up,
put the pieces outta the house.
You're completely mentally ill.
You know that?
No!
Don't polish it!
Charming, at this rate, there will be
a whole novel up there by the end of the year.
Talk to your girlfriend,
fag baby.
I don't know who
you think you are.
I go bowling with you and
your rodent friend as a favor,
and this is what happens?
What is what happens?
I mean, I stupidly agree to go bowling
with you and your queer bait father,
and they write fag baby
on my locker.
Look, this is my life,
and you and your friend
are like kamikazes.
I have no idea what
you're talking about.
Ask the rodent.
Okay, Maggie won't speak to me
and she says you know why.
There's been a small
letter-writing accident, okay.
What are you talking about?
Someone circulated
like a chain letter
to the whole school
about the bowling alley.
Someone other than you?
Yeah.
Eddie Hayes?
Okay, show me.
$25 to the one
who first identifies
which beautiful babe and star of
the basketball court I spotted last night
at a homosexual soiree
at the local 10-pin Lanes.
Post your answers on
the bulletin board in hall.
- Name names, and receive money.
- Look...
it'll be fine.
Okay, no one's gonna post anything.
They wrote fag baby
on my locker.
You don't think they'll
write a name for money?
Yeah, well, they should've
written it on Maggie's locker, right?
Because her dad's
one of the fags.
But she's too cool.
Oh, yeah, that makes me feel a lot better
except for one little thing.
Turns out my dad's a fag too.
- What?
- Shut up.
Shut up!
I feel sick.
Don't worry, okay, it's the tater tots.
They're hard to digest.
And how do you know
your dad is...
you know...
a fagola?
He told me, okay?
In a canoe.
And don't call him that.
And if you tell anyone,
I'm gonna torture you,
starting with your fingernails.
Okay, all right.
I have to go home.
You have a fever?
Are you gonna faint?
No, I just,
I've had this before.
I just need to call my mom.
Okay.
Hello.
Mrs. Stanford,
this is Miss Morgan.
I'm the school
nurse at Rolling Hills.
I have Jack here in the office.
And he's not feeling well.
Dizzy and nauseated.
Is he okay?
Shall I put him on?
You have to pick me up.
What... are you really sick?
Right now, Mom!
You have to pick me up!
Jack?
So shall we call this a
mental health moment?
Call it whatever you want.
I hate children.
Look, you can't
go home, all right.
Don't leave me
alone in this place.
Yeah, you're right.
I don't need to go home.
I can move,
like to another country.
So what if your dad's queer?
I don't care.
He sleeps with Bob.
They're lovers.
So?
I sleep with my dog.
It's not the same thing.
Can I ask you a question?
No!
What do you think they do?
Look, I don't know
and I don't wanna know.
Look, maybe it's
just a phase, okay.
He hasn't tried to make
you queer, has he?
Max, it's not a phase, okay.
And you can't make
a person queer.
They either are or they aren't.
What's going on here?
I'm waiting for my mom.
And you?
Waiting for his mom.
He's sick, I didn't
wanna leave him alone.
In case he loses consciousness.
Five minutes from now,
I don't wanna see you here.
You all right?
You got a sore throat?
Did something happen?
Your father called this morning.
Next Wednesday, instead of going out to dinner,
he wants you to come to the apartment.
No.
I told him you would.
Mom, I've had enough
of the whole Dad thing.
I'm about two minutes away
from losing my mind
because they wrote
fag baby on my locker.
Kids are idiots.
Boy, you need a haircut.
Both hands on the wheel, please.
You have hair
just like your father's.
No matter what you do to it,
it wants to do something else.
No, Mom,
I am not like my father!
There is nothing about me
that is like my father.
I don't wanna have
dinner with him,
or see his apartment,
or spend quality time
with his boyfriend.
Got it?
Maggie's gonna be there.
We're not speaking.
Jack, I know the
situation isn't easy.
Sometimes you have to wrestle
with things to make them fit.
Your father is not
something to be ashamed of.
He realized things
weren't working out,
and he did what he had to do.
Sometimes people spend their whole lives
trying to figure out what makes them happy.
So are you happy?
I might not be happy
even if I were happy.
He took a risk.
Maybe you should be
proud of him.
Oh come on, you don't even
believe what you just said.
He wrecked everything.
It's not okay.
I know.
What do you say
we get some Ring Dings?
Hit her?
- What?
- Hit her.
Stop that.
I'm not talking to you.
Hi.
I'm Anne, Jack's mom.
- Hi, Maggie, Maggie Rogers.
- Come on in.
Mom, hello?
I'm sorry I was harsh before.
Max is a total rodent, but,
about the other stuff,
the letters and the locker...
I'm sorry.
But why me, it was your father
that was kissing the guy.
I know, I overreacted
and I'm sorry.
Unfortunately, I'm sorry
doesn't remove magic marker.
I can't control everything.
So do your friends
know about your dad?
Did he take you out in a rowboat
and confess too?
Nope.
One day, there was just
some guy sleeping over.
My dad moved into the guestroom,
and then he moved out.
And I thought it was insomnia,
because he always had insomnia.
But one Saturday morning,
he just took all this stuff
and started packing it in Hefty bags.
And all I kept saying was,
"Are we going to the movies?"
"Are we going to the movies?"
Because we always used to go
to the movies on Saturday.
And I knew something horrible was happening.
I just didn't know what.
So, uh...
is this gonna be
something special?
Yeah, it's gonna be a Zendo.
Cool.
Zendo, I've never seen one
in someone's backyard before.
You don't even know
what a Zendo is.
Yes I do.
It's a place where people...
It's a place where people, like...
Jack, what do
people do in a Zendo?
They meditate.
Yeah, it's a place
where people meditate.
Cool.
Yeah.
So are you like the poster child
for the well-adjusted
gay dad club?
It's not really like
I have a choice.
Are you going to your dad's house
for dinner next week?
I don't know.
I'll go if you go.
Okay.
Sure.
Do you wanna go to a movie?
- Now?
- No, like on Friday or something.
Um, sure.
Yeah, okay, I guess I could go.
Uh, do we dare
be seen in public?
Don't worry, I'll protect you.
Jack, you'll get used to it.
I did.
No, I don't think I will.
Elaine, look,
can I call you back?
Great, bye-bye.
I'm going,
but I'm not gonna eat.
Is that what you're wearing?
It's what I wear to school.
Don't you wanna get dressed up
for your father and Maggie?
Maggie, yes, my father, no.
Hey, what about meeting The Bob?
Mom, I already met The Bob when we
went bowling and once a long time ago.
When a long time ago?
Uh, when we went to
St. Michael's Island with Dad.
Bob came along.
Really? Bob was there?
I thought they just met.
No, he's known him for a while.
So do I have to change?
I don't care,
wear whatever you want.
I was at his apartment,
and all I kept thinking about
was him being gay
and this being the place
that he and The Bob lived in together.
I wanted to puke.
That is, until I
thought about Maggie.
Hey, hi ya.
Welcome.
Dining room. Bob, Jack's here.
That's the kitchen.
Let me show you this.
With a view.
Sofa looks pretty
good here, doesn't it?
Yeah.
Is that the chair that used
to be in the living room?
That's the chair that used
to be in the living room.
That's the coffee table
that I built you when you were little.
You've heard that story before.
Hi, Jack.
Nice slippers.
Oh, thanks.
I picked them up
at an antique fair.
I think they may have
belonged to Greta Garbo.
At least that's what
the guy told me.
I'll go check the oven.
Come on,
I wanna show you the view.
Not bad, huh?
Listen, Jack, I was hoping I could
come to your game, if that's okay.
Okay, where's Maggie?
She should be here any minute.
There you go.
Hi, hi, hi.
Come on in, Maggie.
You look wonderful.
- John.
- Nice to see you.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Jack, we'll only be able
to stay a minute.
Hey, how are you?
Hello, dear, how are you?
Come in, come. Please.
Dinner's just about ready, guys.
Okay.
I'm not hungry,
I'd like to go home.
Bob worked very hard on this dinner.
You'll hurt his feelings.
I don't care about his feelings.
I don't even know him.
I mean, shouldn't you care
more about my feelings than his?
Didn't I come first?
You know I care
about your feelings.
Then why are you
doing this to me?
I'm not doing anything to you.
Well then who
are you doing it to?
Jack...
who I am...
and who I love...
is about me.
It is not about you.
Well then how come they
call me fag baby at school?
Do you want me to talk to them?
Like what, have a
school assembly?
Okay, everybody, Jack's father
is here to talk about homosexuality
and why we shouldn't call
his son fag baby.
Come on.
Okay, you're right.
You have every
right to be upset.
Is there anything
I can do to help?
You can help me
by not being gay.
I wish I could do that, but I...
You know, it would
make my life easier too.
Well then just do it.
Do it for me.
I can't do that, Jack.
Then I'd like to go home.
Hey, dinner's ready.
Bob, Jack's not feeling that well.
I'm gonna drive him home.
- Oh.
- I feel fine.
I just don't wanna be here
with the two of you.
You were incredibly
rude to Bob tonight.
You know better than that.
Wasn't right.
You go and do this thing of yours,
you find yourself or whatever,
and then...
you expect everybody to knock
themselves out understanding you.
None of that is right.
Jack.
Jack!
What happened?
He's mad about me,
he's mad about Bob. He's...
I don't know what to do.
Can you blame him?
What happened to
my great defender?
She quit.
- Hey, hi guys.
- Hi.
- Where's Steve?
- He's working late, new client.
Hi, Michael, how's it going?
Oh, it goes and I go with it.
Why do I think
everyone's looking at me?
You may think that they are all
looking at you, but they are not.
I know, I know, I know.
Oh my God, he showed up.
Hi.
- They're not gonna sit with us, are they?
- No, they're not gonna sit with us.
It's your foot?
Yeah.
Do you think
you can stand on it?
I'm not sure.
I'll have to take a look.
Ow, ow.
Life is funny.
One minute, I was running
to the cheers of the crowd,
and the next I was
being wheeled down a hall
on a gurney by my
parents and their boyfriends.
You were playing beautifully.
Who belongs to who?
We can't have a thousand people
back here, immediate family only.
We're the parents.
Pick any two, the rest can
stay in the waiting room.
Who's in charge here?
Well, there's, uh...
nothing broken...
but you do have
a very bad sprain.
I'd like to have an air cast
and crutches, please.
Now...
I'd like you to keep
this elevated tonight
and all day tomorrow.
I want you to have ice on it
30 minutes out of every hour.
Any problems, give me a call.
What about basketball?
Well, I think you better
learn to walk before you run.
Maybe we shouldn't
have all gone to the game.
Maybe it ruined
your concentration.
It's not your fault.
My leg just got tangled
with the other guy's.
That's it.
Hey, kiddo, you got messages.
Your coach, Maggie, and Elaine.
She said she'll come over
during the day tomorrow
and hang out with you
while everyone's at work.
Oh, that's so nice.
She adores you.
She thinks you're very special.
- I am very special.
- I know.
But it's nice when someone else
agrees with you.
Mom?
Mm?
What's it mean when your father
picks a boring boyfriend?
That he had a lapse
in judgment after us.
That's what I thought.
- Enough?
- Thank you.
You're welcome.
You look very pale.
I feel very pale.
Do you want another pill?
No thanks.
If she hadn't been Mrs. Burka,
Max's mother,
I would have asked her to do that
to my whole body for hours on end.
I wondered if she knew
how she was making me feel.
That feels good.
Well...
I better run.
I told Steve I'd be home, and...
you know how he gets
if everything isn't perfect.
You rest a while longer, okay?
Your mom's gonna be home soon.
Oh, hey.
So, are you like down
for the count or what?
Down, but not out!
Hey, well, I brought
you a present.
Yeah, what, homework?
Ta-da.
Hi.
Hi.
I hope you're not out.
I'm really looking
forward to Friday.
I assume you're still free?
Free but crippled.
Well, what's happening Friday?
We have a date.
Really?
Well, uh, can I come?
No, Max, because then
it wouldn't be a date.
Anyways, uhm...
I'm gonna be late,
piano lesson day.
Did you see that?
She just kissed you.
That's like the second time
in recent history.
Well this is better than TV.
I'm watching you
go through puberty.
So, uh...
what do you do in a Zendo?
Just sit and wait?
No waiting, just sitting.
And then what?
Nothing.
I don't get it.
Well there's nothing to get,
nothing happens.
But if you do it enough,
you get yourself.
Okay.
So how many times
have you seen that film?
Like two million.
Yeah.
My dad used to take me to
the movies every Saturday.
Mine did too, maybe it's like a...
a gay dad thing or something.
I'm kidding.
So is it better or worse to be
a girl or a guy with a gay dad?
I think it's worse for a guy.
It's more threatening or
something, I don't know.
Yeah, I have to say,
when he first told me,
I kept thinking,
"Does that mean I'm gay too?"
And now?
Oh,
now I'm sure I'm not gay.
So how come you never
talk about your mom?
Because she's not around.
Is she dead?
No, she lives in Virginia.
Three years ago, she...
invited me to come and visit.
And...
I remember I spent the whole summer
baby-sitting her two new kids while
she went off with her friends
and got her nails done.
She's got a new life...
a new husband, and...
as far as she's concerned, my dad and I
are just mistakes she made a long time ago.
But she's your mom, right?
Yeah.
Then she got annoyed about something,
threw her stuff in the back of a car and...
never came back.
How old were you?
Six.
And I remember...
I thought it was my fault,
like I thought I had done
something wrong.
Yeah, I thought
I was too boring.
Good night.
- Can you get out?
- I can try.
- Thank you.
- Welcome.
Hey.
Sorry about that,
we just started talking.
Oh, that's all right.
So you want me to drive
you guys somewhere
where you can make out
or something?
Michael, it's our
first date, okay?
Geez! Kids today, you're damned
if you do, damned if you don't.
- Sorry about that.
- Okay.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
So, um...
I guess I'll phone you tomorrow.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Thank you.
- Bye.
Bye.
So?
Well, if I'd known
dating was that easy,
I woulda started
when I was like two.
We watched the film.
I held her hand.
And her hand was sweaty.
My hand was sweaty.
And our sweat
just kind of mixed.
And then we had ice cream.
And the vanilla melted
with the chocolate. And...
it was all just
kind of fantastic.
Yeah, I'll bet it was.
- You got enough warm clothes?
- Yeah.
- You got money?
- Yep.
It was very nice of
Elaine to invite you.
Yeah, I know,
I'm Max's entertainment.
Have a good time.
Bye.
Bye.
If someone could read the signs,
we'd know where to get off.
Steve, this is not my fault.
You're driving the car.
That's what you say.
Something about
Mr. Burka swerving...
made me think of Mr. Bailey.
Swerving on a highway was
definitely not a Mr. Bailey thing to do.
Made me think of him asking,
"Had my parents crashed?"
Dinner with Uncle Morris
and Aunt Mary is 7:30,
and they're looking
forward to seeing you.
Did they write "seeing you"
or "soaking you?"
Every time we go out to dinner
with them, I have to pay the check.
So just decide that
this time you won't.
I grew up on this lake.
I bet you didn't know that, Jack.
Almost drowned in
this bad boy once.
Every year, he tells us about
how he almost drowned.
You know, it means something
to have a place to come back to.
People always feel the need
to confess on a lake.
I myself don't like
lakes anymore.
They're overrated.
Boy, this is the life, huh?
Million miles away
from everything.
Million years away.
No littering please.
Feeding the fish.
Hey, Captain,
toss me those chips.
What's a lake made out of?
Oh, a lake's like
a really big puddle.
Well, what's a mountain
made out of?
Mountain's like a big rock.
Do rocks grow?
Only in your head.
Max.
Uh, could I have
some more ketchup?
Hey, Honey,
can I get a refill here?
Thanks.
Any time of day.
We've called him on emergencies.
So, how goes it in the market?
Any tips?
No tips.
Only top-secret insight
I'm not privy to share.
What do I owe you
for Mary and myself?
It's okay, Morris,
we'll split it 50-50.
But they've got
three extra people.
In the morning, I want you
all to come down to the house,
and I'll make you up
a nice big breakfast.
You know, I got this.
Whole, half,
what's the difference?
What pleases you
pleases the court.
Maybe next time, Morris.
- Next time.
- Uh, Sweetie...
thank you for everything.
It's very old-fashioned.
Yeah, like prison.
No, I like it.
Well you boys sleep well.
Is everything okay?
Mm-hmm.
Good night, Jack.
I love you.
What was that, "I love you?"
I don't know, it just
kinda slipped out.
Only top-secret insight
I am not privy to.
What an ass.
Honey, you could
have split the check.
What are you always on me for?
This is my vacation.
Why can't I relax
for 10 seconds?
So what if I pick up the check?
Well, you're the one who said
you were always getting soaked.
Can't I complain without
you throwing it my face?
You know what,
no, you know what?
Maybe the problem is you.
We should get pneumonia
not to hear them?
Is this normal?
It may not be normal, but...
they do it all the time.
I am so sick of
being criticized.
Not one thing I do is right,
according to you.
No, no, shut up,
Elaine, just shut up!
We can hear you!
Even the clanking of the fan
couldn't get their voices outta my head.
I closed my eyes,
trying to think of something else.
Anything else.
I told you he was sleeping.
Pack up, we're outta here.
We're leaving, get up.
Where are we going?
Home.
My father beat up my mom, okay.
He hauled off and slugged her.
Well, my dad once threw
a box of donuts at my mom,
and they went flying everywhere.
Pack, you idiot.
Where's Dad?
What an asshole.
This isn't the first time,
you know.
I want my dad.
Okay, so we have everything?
Where's my dad?
He went for a walk
with your uncle.
I'll put the stuff in the car.
Okay.
It was nothing like when
my dad threw the donuts.
It was 1,000 times worse.
Everything that had
happened to my family
and everything that I'd
ever felt about the Burkas
or anyone else was
spilling out all over the place,
and I didn't know
how to stop it.
Here...
you boys go and get
yourself something, okay?
I had this image of myself
as a grown-up,
sitting in the car with her,
while the kids
were in the store.
I guess I just didn't think
she should be alone.
I guess I wanted to protect her.
Why don't you go on inside,
see if something catches your eye?
I don't know what to say.
You don't have to say anything.
To place a collect call,
press two.
Please state your name.
Jack.
We're not home right now,
but leave your name and number,
we'll call you back.
Will you accept charges,
press one. Now...
To place a collect call,
press two.
Please state your name.
Jack.
You have a collect
call from Jack.
- Will you accept charges, press one.
- Jack?
Yeah, Dad, press one.
- Jack, hello.
- Dad?
Jack?
Is everything all right?
Mr. Burka hit Mrs. Burka.
What do you mean, Jack?
Hit her, you know,
hit her, like in a boxing match
only without a ring.
Oh, is Elaine all right?
I don't know, it means
she's driving, but...
her face looks like a hamburger.
I'll meet you at the Burkas.
Just keep it together
until you get there, okay?
Okay.
Dad?
Yeah, yeah.
Promise you'll pick me up.
I promise, I'll be there.
I realized at that moment
that there were only three people
in the world that I could turn to.
Mrs. Burka, who couldn't
help anyone right now.
My mother, who wasn't home.
And my father, who was.
Hey.
Did you guys get
everything you wanted?
Yeah, yeah, we're fine,
let's just go.
Okay?
I...
I got you a present.
Thank you, Jack.
How come he's here?
Because I called him.
What did you do,
send smoke signals?
Are you all right?
Yeah, I'm okay.
Did you call the police?
He didn't mean it,
he just, he gets angry.
Help them out with the bags.
Are you expecting
him back today?
I don't know, I think he's gonna
stay with his family for a few days.
Come on, let's put some ice on that.
Do you think anything's broken?
- No, it's...
- Are you sure?
It's fine, it's just...
it's bruised, not broken.
If you mention one word
of this to anyone,
I will have you taken care of.
- Taken care of?
- Yeah, I will kill you, okay?
I will have you killed.
Max, hello, it's me, Jack.
Jack, your best friend.
Okay, first of all,
you're scaring me.
Second of all,
you're acting demented.
And third of all, if you don't
start acting nicer to your own mom
I'm gonna kill you.
I keep trying to imagine
Mr. Burka hitting Mrs. Burka.
And every time I come close to the
moment when something bad happens,
my mind just freezes.
Mr. B hitting Mrs. B.
Pretty scary.
I imagine myself older...
bigger...
blocking Mr. Burka's
punch with one arm,
knocking him out with the other.
Hey, Max.
Hey.
How's your mom doing?
She looks like she got
her face put in a Cuisinart.
Look, Bob and I are having some
people over next Saturday for brunch,
why don't you two come?
Look, I may have called you,
but I still don't wanna
hang out with you.
Oh, I know you don't
wanna hang out with me.
But Maggie Rogers
was coming, so I...
Sure, for how long,
five minutes?
No, for the whole thing.
That's not fair.
Come on, that's
flat-out bribery.
You know I'm weak
when it comes to her.
So, are you coming or not?
- Yeah.
- Good.
Max, you?
Little football?
Come on, here we go.
- No, no, my leg, I can't.
- Okay. Come on!
Gannon, to Rice.
What am I gonna do?
You're gonna take care of yourself for once.
That's what you're gonna do.
What about the kids?
The kids don't wanna
see you get hit anymore.
Jack gave me this.
He just...
Anne, I'm so scared.
You must be Jack.
You look just like your father.
How's school?
I hear so much about you.
Um, actually I'm Max.
That's Jack right there.
Let's go!
I think that woman who
cornered Max is Bob's shrink.
I didn't know that
Bob had a shrink.
Yeah, my Dad took me
to see him a couple times.
Did I mention that I
hate my dad's boyfriend?
Okay, he clips his toenails
and then he eats the pieces.
I caught him doing it when
he thought no one was looking.
Isn't that disgusting?
- Yeah.
- Ugh.
Don't you wish your dad
would just find some girl,
get married and then
all this would stop?
No, I'd be totally jealous.
Oh.
So, can I kiss you?
No!
- Why not?
- Because you kiss everyone.
I do not!
Come on, I saw you with Jenny.
Yeah, but that was different.
Oh.
It was.
And besides, you kissed me the other day,
so that's where I got the idea.
Yeah, but you were injured.
And you've gotta wait til you earn
my trust, and then you can kiss me.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
Hey, do you think Max is okay?
No.
Max?
Max!
What?
Ew, are you stuck?
No.
Hey, are you okay?
Why are you throwing up into a trash chute
instead of a restroom like a normal person?
Um, can we get you
some seltzer or something?
Yeah, that'd be great.
Why don't you go get it?
Okay.
What is wrong with you?
Okay, why do I feel like I'm seeing
tomorrow's headlines:
"Teenager Dies at
Homosexual Brunch?"
This is totally pathetic, Max.
Oh, what are you gonna do,
you're gonna hit me?
Look...
just leave me alone, okay.
I'm not doing anything,
it's none of your business.
Oh, it's none of my business,
and that's why you're doing it at my dad's
apartment instead of your own goddam house.
There's no one at my
house, asshole, remember?
You're driving me crazy, Max.
No, no, no, no,
you're driving me crazy.
Okay, look, your life
is a complete mess
but you don't have to make it a
bigger drama than it already is.
Look who's talking, okay,
you have no idea.
Have you ever seen
your parents fight?
Huh?
Literally haul off
and punch each other?
If you ever heard the kinds of things
my parents say to each other, you'd die.
I mean, they hate
each other, okay.
And right now,
I hate both of them.
How do you think
that makes me feel?
Look, Max...
you're not your father.
You're not your mother.
You're you.
And you have to
take care of yourself.
And you have to
protect yourself.
And you have to find
a way through this.
And, okay, you can't fix it,
but it doesn't mean you
should wreck your own life either.
This coming from someone
who hates his own father.
I'd trade my dad with
yours in a second.
No, Max, you can't do that.
You don't trade one set
of problems for another.
Who says?
What are you, the pope
or something?
Okay, I don't know what to do.
Max, I don't know what to do.
Nothing I say is the right thing,
and you're scaring me, okay.
I mean, I already watched
my whole family fall apart,
and the truth is that I thought
your family was
the perfect family.
Now look...
both our families are nuts.
God, it stinks in here.
Sorry.
Um, this is all I could find.
He's completely drunk.
Okay, Max,
let's take a little walk.
Hello.
Hi.
Mom?
Jack?
Um...
Max went a little crazy
at dad's party today.
I mean, everything's fine,
everything's under control.
But I think Max and I are
gonna stay here tonight.
Do you want me to come and get you?
I can be there in two minutes.
You sure you're not
being held hostage?
No, Mom, everything's okay.
There's no hostage situation.
Okay, bye.
Bye.
You know, Max is really lucky
to have you as a friend.
I spoke with Elaine.
She said Steve is getting help,
and they're going to therapy.
Is he gonna move back in?
Uh,
don't know, but it is
never over until it is over.
That's true.
- Hey, Dad.
- Yeah.
Do you remember when we went
to St. Michael's with Bob?
Mm-hmm.
Well...
were you and him together then?
No, we were just friends then.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
We'll come back for that.
Okay, let's try it again,
be careful.
You know, we don't
have to do this in the rain.
I can wait and get my
license when I'm 30.
It's no problem.
Okay great, come on,
let's go, cut the wheel.
Come on.
Cut!
Cut a little more.
Cut it more.
Look, you're doing fine.
Stop!
What happened?
Did you do that on purpose?
No, are you okay?
Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine.
Why don't we call it
a day today, okay?
Okay.
God, a car is not a car,
it's a machine.
When you're ready, I'd like to
take you for your driver's test.
It's okay, Michael
said he would.
I know, but I'd like to,
if you don't mind.
Yeah, sure.
Are you gonna hate me forever?
I don't know.
Hard to believe.
You are turning 16.
Yeah, it kinda creeps up on you.
Yeah.
Maybe we should
do something special.
Do you remember when
we went to the circus?
Yeah, I was six.
You took 10 of my friends,
we had front-row seats,
and then the lion bit
the head off the monkey,
and we all had nightmares
for about a week.
Well, Mom's baking a cake.
I think that should be good enough.
Okay.
When you're a kid, everyone
makes a big deal outta your birthday.
You get presents, your mom
brings cupcakes to your school.
It's like a national holiday.
The fact is, when you're 16,
you're not 15 anymore.
You wake up, you look at yourself,
and there you are.
Your hopes, dreams and
fantasies starting right at you.
At a certain point, you stop
waiting for your life to begin.
You realize this is your life,
right here, right now.
Make of it what you will,
what you can.
Hey.
So what, when I graduate,
is somebody gonna write
fag baby grows up in big
letters on the school roof?
Maybe?
- Happy birthday.
- Thanks.
What is it, a pipe bomb, a gun?
No.
Okay.
Condoms?
You got me condoms
for my birthday?
Yeah.
Okay, well thanks for thinking of me
in such a weirdly personal way.
I'll treasure them.
And then I'll use them when I'm
like 50 and married or something.
So...
your papers are due next week.
And all papers are due.
No exceptions.
The thing about people
is that they're human.
As obvious as that is,
we have to remember it.
People are who they are.
And once you realize that...
you'll end up less disappointed.
And then sometimes
they'll surprise you.
Jack.
Jack?
Are you with us?
Not really.
So, uh...
see your cake?
Yeah...
it's fantastic.
I got these guys, um...
but, uh...
I thought I better
ask you first.
Um...
do we actually have
to put them on the cake?
I just think I'm a little
too old for decorations.
I think you're right.
What is that?
It's a Zendo.
- A Zendo.
- Yeah, a long story.
It's a Zendo.
So, this is where
I had my garden.
And this is where
I used to play with Jack.
It's not a historical landmark,
we still live here.
I know, I know,
I'm just showing Bob around.
Okay.
Is Mom feeding the holly?
I don't know.
Anne.
What?
Are you feeding the holly?
Am I feeding the hungry?
The holly.
The holly, uh, yeah, um,
go ahead and do what you want.
I mean, feed the holly, clip the forsythia,
deadhead the roses, be my guest.
She's not feeding the holly.
Oh, who wants sprouts?
Yes, please.
Hi, Jack, sorry I'm late.
Hi, Maggie.
That Maggie did that,
in front of everyone,
was rather impressive.
I was also hoping Mrs. Burka
was just a teeny bit jealous.
Mom and I worked
together on that one.
Thank you.
Oh, it's beautiful.
- Did you make that?
- I did.
I bet you did.
- Thank you.
- Oh you're welcome, I hope it fits.
I have one, it'll fit.
There we go.
Here, open mine next.
That's my favorite.
See?
Now I know.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
I wanted to thank everyone,
but really I didn't.
Because thank you is
such an overused word.
It means too many things,
and at the same time...
it means nothing.
But one thing I did know...
was that I wanted to sit there until
I became old enough to understand my life.
Well, I think that
went very well.
Yes, well, nothing fell on any one
and no one choked,
so they all seemed
to have a good time.
Oh, my baby's 16 years old.
16, that makes me an old woman.
- Can I go for a walk?
- Go, go, go.
Watch the leg.
- Who says you're old?
- I do.
So are you.
I walked through
the night alone,
Jack singular.
I'd always be my mother's Jack,
and my father's Jack,
and the Jack with
the gay dad and Bob,
and Michael and Max and Mrs. B.
I'd always be all that,
but more than that,
I was myself.
Jack, no strings attached.
Whatever my family was or wasn't
seemed to be getting less important.
My life was my own now,
and my job was to make it
what I wanted it to be.
I only wished I'd known
that a couple of years ago.
I was Jack,
plain Jack,
Jack out there all by myself.
"Jack takes the pass."
The announcer's voice
boomed in my head.
I ran unevenly across the court,
wondering if my leg
would ever be normal again.
Or if my life would
ever be normal again.
"Fast Jack is coming in low."
I crouched down,
dancing in and out.
My leg felt like I was
stepping on pushpins.
"He's up! Fast Jack is up!"
I pushed through the pain.
As the crowd roared,
my leg didn't hurt.
Nothing hurt.
My mind was flowing.
I was Fast Jack, and
I knew I would make it.
And that everything
would be okay.
- I'm putting in a hoop for Jack.
- What's going on here?
What?
What are you doing?
I'm putting in a hoop for Jack.
Today?
Yeah, it was the only day
Mike was available.
It wasn't supposed to be today.
You have to tell me these things.
Oh, God, look at it.
Oh! What? Why did you...
- Because this is the only spot it can go.
- Oh, that's not the only spot.
Oh, this is ridiculous.
I mean, oh, I don't believe it.
He's gonna love it.
- This is it.
- You know what, this is the last time.
But the roses have black
spot already, I'll spray.
No, not with the, oh,
dammit, leave me alone.
Leave me alone.
Do you ever look at your family
and wonder who they are?
Those are my parents.
They're not my roses,
they're the house's roses.
At least they used to be.
How's the boat building?
Are we going to the movies?
I have to move some stuff.
But it's Saturday,
and we always go to
the movies on Saturday.
Jack wants to go to the movie.
I thought I'd drop the stuff off,
then maybe take him.
You're not taking him anywhere.
You're acting extreme, Anne.
Don't tell me how I'm acting.
Okay.
Sorry, no movie today, Jack.
Why not?
Because I say so.
But we always go to
the movies on Saturday.
Anne.
To be honest, I didn't give
a damn about the movie,
but there was
something going on,
and I didn't know what it was,
and I didn't know what to do,
except act normal.
Tell Jack I'll call him later.
It's like you had a hero,
and all of a sudden he's gone.
When you're a kid and you've got a father
who reminds you of Superman,
who seems like
he can do anything.
A father who's the kind of guy that climbs
on the roof to rescue your dweeby G.I. Joe
when it's caught up there
in some idiotic experiment.
And then, one day, he's gone.
Disappeared into a million
different green plastic garbage bags.
No explanations offered.
Nothing anyone says later
makes a bit of difference.
Shot of the green?
No thanks.
Listen, I was thinking, I could just stay
at my place tonight, if you like.
Whatever makes you happy.
Look, if you want me here, I'm here.
I just never know what you're thinking.
Why don't you let him
move in already?
He practically lives here anyway,
so what's the big deal?
Oh come on, he's living out
of a duffel bag.
You should at least
give him a drawer.
I don't wanna rush things.
It's Wednesday, so don't forget,
dinner with Dad.
Okay.
- Want a ride?
- Sure.
See ya tonight.
Wednesdays are very intense.
Yeah, it's the dinner
with the dad thing.
You know, when he first left,
I wasn't allowed to see him at all.
Then she felt guilty, so she started
the Dinner with Dad program.
You're lucky you missed the bit
where she tried to be like my replacement dad.
Oh, was that the
basketball stuff?
Mm-hmm, and she's
actually gotten pretty good.
It's just a little weird.
Especially the time she tried
to take me to the father-son team dinner.
Yeah...
so are your parents
still married?
Yeah, 43 years.
You know, it's amazing to think of spending
your whole life with the one person.
Yeah...
equally amazing to watch
your whole family fall apart.
For five bucks, name the guidance counselor
I spied shoplifting at K-Mart.
Wagstaff.
Laydon! I saw her slip
a stapler into her purse,
and then some Tootsie Rolls.
All right, listen up.
We're gonna start with some drills.
Four lines, go, go.
One passes to three.
Two passes to four.
A braid, you guys,
like a smooth strand of DNA.
From one side of the
gym to the other, let's go.
Come on, synchronize,
guys, synchronize.
Know where the other men are,
anticipate the next move.
You're walking through it, guys,
you look like a buncha pansies, come on.
You know,
my dad showed
up again yesterday.
Oh yeah, what did
you do this time?
He put a basketball
hoop out front.
Oh really?
That's great.
Yeah, except last night,
I kinda lost my mind
and attacked it.
I tried to knock it down,
and now it's just a wee bit tilted.
Tilting adds character.
Maybe.
When Mrs. Burka smiled at me,
I think I turned beet red.
I woulda stared at her,
if only I could've figured out
how to do it without getting caught.
You want an apple?
No thanks.
Hey, Samster Hamster boy,
how you doing?
- Good.
- Want some milk?
No, we don't want milk, all right.
We don't wanna talk, either.
You staying for
dinner tonight, Jack?
No, not tonight.
Okay.
I like your mom. She always
wants to know everything...
No, my mom needs
to get a life, okay?
Every day I come home, she's like,
"Do you wanna talk?"
She's thoroughly bored.
See what I just did?
So, you gonna drop
a bomb or what?
No, Max,
I outgrew the impulse to blow
things up about two years ago.
I'm just waiting
for you to catch up.
Napalm!
Daddy's home!
Daddy's home, Daddy's home!
Hey, hey, monster man.
Hey, hon, how was your day?
- Good.
- Yeah?
Good, really good.
I scored a new client today.
It's gonna mean extra work, but uh,
that's what I'm here for, right?
Oh, no... here.
- Do you want a beer or something?
- Yes, please.
- Great.
- Thank you.
Maxie,
go deep.
Head's up!
Honey...
why are the trashcans
still here?
How many times have I told you
to take them out back?
I better go.
It's dinner with Dad.
How is your dad?
I haven't seen him for a while.
He's good.
What I didn't tell Mr. B.
is that every Wednesday
night, my father and I
played a weird game
where we got all dressed up
and he took me to some
totally expensive restaurant
and talked to me about
incredibly serious stuff,
like the meaning of life,
while I was busy worrying about
whether I was using the right fork.
What can I get you tonight?
I'll have the tuna.
Rare please.
Okay, and what would you like?
And chicken for me.
And can I get french fries
instead of scalloped potatoes, please?
Sure, honey.
Look, Jack...
I've been spending a lotta time
trying to figure things out.
Now I don't know if this is gonna
make any sense to you, but...
you're at an age now, that...
People love to do things, right?
Some people love to read,
some people love
to go to the movies.
Your mom loves
reading the newspaper.
You love basketball.
What I'm trying to say is that there
are many different kinds of love.
How we love...
no, not how we love.
What...
What we allow
ourselves to feel...
is very complicated.
And, and...
sometimes love
doesn't have any limits.
What do you think about
when you think about love?
Nothing.
I think nothing.
Nothing, you think nothing.
So basically this dinner
was a waste of time?
Pretty much.
Do you remember when we
went on that huge Ferris wheel?
I think I was three.
Why is it that parents always do things with
kids when they're too young to remember?
You enjoyed it very much.
Look, you're always
asking me to remember.
It's like a constant walk
down Memory Lane.
Do you remember when
everything used to be normal?
Do you remember when
you still lived at our house?
Come on, can we just stay
in the present, here and now?
I was just thinking
about things.
Duh!
Here, try the calamari.
Tastes like a
deep-friend rubber band.
So what's calamari?
It's Italian for
deep-fried rubber band.
It's squid.
Wanna try the portobello?
What is it?
Mushroom.
How about I pick the
restaurant the next time?
Might be a good idea.
How was dinner with your father?
Good.
What did you eat?
Creepy stuff.
What did you talk about?
I have no idea.
Shall we hang this?
Okay.
You know, I got a hammer downstairs,
if you need one?
No, no, it's not a big hole.
Okay.
Listen, they're coming around to collect
stuff for the homeless shelter tomorrow,
so anything you don't need
would be a bounty for the poor.
- Sure.
- Oh, very nice.
It's stuff I've been saving.
Historical artifacts
of my entire life,
in case the Smithsonian ever
needs to do an exhibit on me,
the American boy.
Aha.
There are a few key elements
in case I ever get amnesia and
need to be reminded of who I am.
Right.
Thank you.
And listen, I meant to ask you.
How would you feel if I built a Zendo in the backyard?
What's a Zendo?
It's like a meditation room.
You could use it too
whenever you need a moment.
It'd be great.
Our friends thank you.
Shoot a few?
Mom...
you're embarrassing me.
Oh come on,
You know, I could get good at this.
Maybe I should join a team.
Oh, come on, try again.
Okay.
Come on, be a good sport,
you should be proud.
How many kids can say
their moms can play basketball?
Yes!
It's gonna be okay, you know?
That's it!
- That's it.
- Yeah.
Oh, come on!
Come on.
Aren't you excited?
Hi, Mr. Bailey.
Mrs. Stanford.
Go on.
Go on!
New drivers pass through levels.
Each level offers
more responsibility,
freedom from restrictions.
What's this?
- Rear bumper.
- Mm-hmm.
Teenagers pick up
their parents' driving habits.
- Trunk.
- Correct.
How do your parents drive?
Do they put it in reverse
without looking behind?
Do they pull out too fast?
The more crashes
the parents have had,
the greater the likelihood
the teen will crash.
Get in the driver's seat.
Have your parents crashed?
I don't know, they're divorced.
Put on your seat belt.
Start her up.
And drive it very,
very slowly down the street.
Okay.
Sorry.
- I have only one neck, smoothly.
- Sorry, sorry.
- Slowly, slowly.
- Sorry.
Seeing is believing.
Think about your blind spots.
You can't ever forget...
there's always something
you cannot see.
Yeah, that I know already.
Time passed.
It wasn't like I got over it,
but life went on.
Except for now, my mom let
my dad take me on Saturdays too.
I was finally growing more
hair on my legs than my mom,
and things were
pretty much things.
So, what's new?
Not much.
Are you okay?
Yeah.
You just have that look.
What look?
Hmh, the one where you're
about to say something
that's gonna make
me lose my lunch.
Or the one where you
pause for a really long time
and you say something
like, Grandma's sick,
which means she's already
dead or something like that.
Well, Grandma's fine.
But we need to talk.
See?
Look, Jack, I...
I don't know if you can understand,
but I'm gonna tell you.
I have been running away
from myself...
all these years, and, and...
a person can't do that forever.
It catches up.
A while ago, I realized that...
that I would be happier...
if I did not live
with your mother.
Hey...
I love her.
I always did, I always will...
and I still do, but...
Do you remember Bob?
My friend Bob?
Yeah, the guy you went
on the trip with?
Mm-hmm.
Bob and I are lovers.
I wanna go home.
Jack!
Jack!
Jack!
Jack?
Get in the car,
I'll give you a ride.
I'll walk, thanks.
Get in the car!
You're gonna get pneumonia.
- I'll walk.
- Jack, don't do this.
Do what?
You're the one who's doing it.
I told you because I thought
you should know.
Nothing has changed.
I'm exactly the same person
I was 20 minutes ago.
Jack, I'm still your father.
No you're not.
He never even told you?
Elaine.
Okay.
Yeah, I'll see you
tomorrow, bye.
What happened?
Well, other than my father
telling me he was gay,
I went for a swim.
How can this...
I shoulda seen it coming.
I shoulda been smarter.
I shoulda been...
paying attention to what he was trying to
tell me over all that lobster and calamari.
- Your father loves you very much.
- He's not my father.
Yes, he is! He's your
father and you're his son.
No.
Mom, no.
No. He's a stranger.
He's a person I don't know.
He's got a whole other life.
He's got a boyfriend.
How can this even be happening?
Did you know?
Oh well, how did he tell you?
Did he take you out
in a rowboat too?
He doesn't like keeping secrets.
Well he shoulda kept that one.
He and Bob are getting an apartment together.
Did he tell you that?
No, but he was probably
about to when I jumped.
Mom...
I don't wanna see him anymore.
If you wanna talk,
you gotta dig.
And what's to talk about?
All of a sudden,
my father is a fairy queen.
Is that why he left us?
He's a fairy?
Don't use that word!
What word should I use?
Your father and I separated
because we couldn't get along.
We couldn't live together.
You remember how we were always fighting.
Yeah, because it turns out
Dad's a big old fag.
How can he be a homo
and have me as his kid?
Homos don't get married,
and homos don't have kids.
Was he always a homo?
Your father was always
going through phases.
Gardening, music, car repairs.
It was always something.
I actually thought
this was one of his phases.
Why is he doing this to me?
No one is doing anything to you!
He was telling you who
he was, about his life.
And he wanted to
make you part of his life.
Well...
if he's a homo,
what does that make me?
Am I homo too now?
Because maybe that's it,
maybe I'm a homo and I don't even know it.
Jack, you're two
separate people.
He is who he is, and...
you're gonna figure out
who you are.
When he first left...
I thought it was my fault.
I was too boring,
I wasn't enough of a movie freak,
I wasn't fast
enough at baseball.
Life is complicated.
You think I didn't
wonder what happened?
He's your father,
but he was my husband.
Maybe it was me, Jack.
Maybe it was something I did.
I wasn't a good enough wife.
I wasn't a good enough mother.
I never made breakfast.
I smoke.
I hate cleaning the house.
No!
No, no...
no, it's not you!
It's Dad, it's his fault.
Mom...
I hate him.
I hate him, I hate him,
I hate him!
- Shh. Shh!
- I hate him! I hate him!
My father called
about 20 times a day
trying to get me to let
him be my father again.
He would drive over
and just sit outside,
not moving, like a statue.
I refused to talk to him,
and even that didn't work.
You ever just wanna go up to a girl
and plant one on her?
Like, I bet I can get
that girl to kiss me.
You don't even know her.
So?
What's the deal with you?
Suddenly, you're Mr. Hormonal.
You have to kiss a girl
or you're gonna die or something.
Okay, just pick a girl
and I bet I can get her to kiss me.
Fine.
And what about her?
Can't you at least pick someone
who's human?
Maggie Rogers?
No, the degree of difficulty on her
is just a big too high.
Well, you can't just go
up and kiss somebody.
You'll get arrested.
Okay, remember that
kindergartener who got expelled?
You have to ask first.
Is this where you're
supposed to be?
Uh, yeah, yeah it is,
for the moment,
this is, uh...
this is exactly where
I'm supposed to be.
Okay...
how did you do that?
Did you give her money?
Did you offer to do
her homework, what?
No, I just...
I said I thought she was really pretty
and that I wanted to kiss her.
I said I felt
compelled to kiss her.
And that worked?
Yep.
Wow!
Your first kiss.
Nah, not my first.
Maryann Miller in the second
grade used to kiss me all the time,
and she was in the third grade.
- An older woman.
- Yeah.
End of drill!
Come on, everyone back to class!
Hey.
Hey.
Thanks for meeting me.
It's fine.
Where's The Bob?
His name is Bob, not The Bob!
And he had a meeting
at the last minute.
Oh.
Okay.
New bookcase?
Oh yeah, yeah.
Actually, that's
how I met Michael.
I hired him to build
me a bookcase.
Jack still doesn't wanna see me?
No.
He's 15.
He's trying to grow up.
You deserted him in more ways
than one, you know.
Bob and I being together
doesn't mean I'm deserting Jack.
Really?
I'll try telling him that.
You were his hero.
Life isn't as simple for Jack
as it is for you.
Annie, with all due respect,
you have no idea
what's simple for me.
What do you want?
For everything to be okay.
What furniture do you want?
I'll take the chair.
What, that chair?
- No, no, no.
- It's my chair.
No, no, I like that chair.
Jack likes that chair.
Take that chair.
That chair... I hate that chair.
I've always hated that chair, you know that.
Couch?
Watch, watch.
I got it, I got it, I got it.
- Okay?
- Here, wait a minute.
One, two, three.
Okay, here.
What?
Come on, it's better
to break up like that.
Oh please.
Do you remember how we met?
Yeah, summer camp.
I was nine, you were seven.
Oh no, not you.
How kind you were, dear.
Come on, seriously.
Anne. Annie!
No, I remember.
Here.
Here.
You spilled coffee in
my book and lied about it.
I didn't lie.
It was an accident.
I was nervous.
I was so in love with you.
This is yours.
Annie, I need you
to know something.
This has nothing to do with you.
This has everything
to do with me.
It's my life,
and you messed it up.
No, no, no, no,
you don't get to do that.
You don't dump on somebody
and then comfort them.
It's just against the rules.
Appreciate your helping out with Jack.
I know it's not easy.
It's worse than that.
I keep defending you,
and all I wanna do
is strangle you.
Hi, Jack.
I came by to pick up
a few things for the apartment.
Look, I know you don't wanna
spend time with me right now, so...
instead of dinner, I thought
maybe we could go bowling.
You know, a group
activity might be better.
- No thanks.
- We can bring Max if you want.
There's also somebody
I'd like to introduce you to.
The daughter of a friend mine,
Maggie Rogers.
The Maggie Rogers?
Well, I don't know if
it's The Maggie Rogers.
But I think she
goes to your school.
Anyway...
I thought we'd bowl
a few rounds.
Okay.
And it's games!
You bowl games,
not rounds.
As much as I hated the idea
of being around my
father and The Bob...
it was Maggie
that made me do it.
Hey, Jack.
Hey.
Max.
Uh, five and a half, please.
Full sizes only.
Okay, six.
No sixes.
Make it a seven.
The minute I saw her,
I turned green.
The only thing missing
was the yearbook photographer.
What size for you?
Oh, I bowl in socks,
it gives me more slide.
Right.
So are you like
alone here or what?
Um, no, that's my father.
Who's the other guy?
Why did I bring you?
Because you like me,
you like me very much.
Okay, everyone, let's take a practice round
and then we'll start.
Burpa, that's what they
call him, Max Burpa.
- Wow!
- That's my girl.
Go, Maggie, yeah!
Okay, Jack, you're up.
Way to go, Jack, make potholes,
confuse everyone.
Jack, next time try to
keep your wrist straight.
Um, Bob, no advice, thanks.
Isn't Maggie great?
Great is an understatement.
You've already had a hot dog,
nachos and a soda, and what else?
I don't know, some Tootsie Rolls,
if you're counting.
I can definitely
go for ice cream.
Speaking of which,
guess who's here.
No idea.
Okay, I'll rephrase.
For $200...
guess which one of our schoolmates
bowls in a league.
Eddie Hayes?
Oh, no way, that's so queer.
He's in a league?
Hey, we're going to the opera.
- Well, what are you seeing?
- Carmen.
Carmen.
How'd you get tickets?
I thought it was sold out.
It was, but you know John
when he sets his mind to something.
Do you have a medical problem?
Hmm?
You know, they have drugs
for people who are hyper.
Yeah, you see, they thought he was hyper
but the tests came back normal.
Maybe they should
get him tested again.
I am taking Jim to Provincetown
for Memorial Day.
- Why?
- He's never been.
Never?
I was remembering the
first time I met The Bob.
About nine months
after he moved out,
my dad and I were going
on one of our adventures.
A boat trip to St. Michael's Island.
And my dad asked
if he could bring a friend.
Had I known then what I
know now, I woulda said no.
Okay, anybody have any shoes
they haven't returned?
Yeah.
I took mine back already.
Okay, I'll see you
guys at the car.
- See you, guys.
- See you outside.
Oh my God.
Oh, gross.
Am I seeing what
I think I'm seeing?
Gross, totally gross!
Okay...
was that artificial
respiration or something?
Was there a reason
for that, can you tell me?
Shut up, just shut up!
Can you ever just not talk?
He kissed the guy
right on the mouth, okay.
Not on the cheek.
Why do they have
to make out in public?
Do your parents
make out in public?
No, no, actually my parents
avoid touching at all times.
This was the
beginning of the end.
Look, it's nothing to
go insane about, okay?
You can use my locker
'til it wears off.
It's goddam black magic marker!
It's permanent!
It doesn't wear off!
Did you do this?
No, I didn't do it.
But, uh,
but maybe I accidentally...
mentioned a bit about two guys
kissing to a couple people.
Well, it freaked me out, okay?
I'm over it now.
I mean I get it.
It's a disease, okay, like a sickness.
Same as guys who chop people up,
put the pieces outta the house.
You're completely mentally ill.
You know that?
No!
Don't polish it!
Charming, at this rate, there will be
a whole novel up there by the end of the year.
Talk to your girlfriend,
fag baby.
I don't know who
you think you are.
I go bowling with you and
your rodent friend as a favor,
and this is what happens?
What is what happens?
I mean, I stupidly agree to go bowling
with you and your queer bait father,
and they write fag baby
on my locker.
Look, this is my life,
and you and your friend
are like kamikazes.
I have no idea what
you're talking about.
Ask the rodent.
Okay, Maggie won't speak to me
and she says you know why.
There's been a small
letter-writing accident, okay.
What are you talking about?
Someone circulated
like a chain letter
to the whole school
about the bowling alley.
Someone other than you?
Yeah.
Eddie Hayes?
Okay, show me.
$25 to the one
who first identifies
which beautiful babe and star of
the basketball court I spotted last night
at a homosexual soiree
at the local 10-pin Lanes.
Post your answers on
the bulletin board in hall.
- Name names, and receive money.
- Look...
it'll be fine.
Okay, no one's gonna post anything.
They wrote fag baby
on my locker.
You don't think they'll
write a name for money?
Yeah, well, they should've
written it on Maggie's locker, right?
Because her dad's
one of the fags.
But she's too cool.
Oh, yeah, that makes me feel a lot better
except for one little thing.
Turns out my dad's a fag too.
- What?
- Shut up.
Shut up!
I feel sick.
Don't worry, okay, it's the tater tots.
They're hard to digest.
And how do you know
your dad is...
you know...
a fagola?
He told me, okay?
In a canoe.
And don't call him that.
And if you tell anyone,
I'm gonna torture you,
starting with your fingernails.
Okay, all right.
I have to go home.
You have a fever?
Are you gonna faint?
No, I just,
I've had this before.
I just need to call my mom.
Okay.
Hello.
Mrs. Stanford,
this is Miss Morgan.
I'm the school
nurse at Rolling Hills.
I have Jack here in the office.
And he's not feeling well.
Dizzy and nauseated.
Is he okay?
Shall I put him on?
You have to pick me up.
What... are you really sick?
Right now, Mom!
You have to pick me up!
Jack?
So shall we call this a
mental health moment?
Call it whatever you want.
I hate children.
Look, you can't
go home, all right.
Don't leave me
alone in this place.
Yeah, you're right.
I don't need to go home.
I can move,
like to another country.
So what if your dad's queer?
I don't care.
He sleeps with Bob.
They're lovers.
So?
I sleep with my dog.
It's not the same thing.
Can I ask you a question?
No!
What do you think they do?
Look, I don't know
and I don't wanna know.
Look, maybe it's
just a phase, okay.
He hasn't tried to make
you queer, has he?
Max, it's not a phase, okay.
And you can't make
a person queer.
They either are or they aren't.
What's going on here?
I'm waiting for my mom.
And you?
Waiting for his mom.
He's sick, I didn't
wanna leave him alone.
In case he loses consciousness.
Five minutes from now,
I don't wanna see you here.
You all right?
You got a sore throat?
Did something happen?
Your father called this morning.
Next Wednesday, instead of going out to dinner,
he wants you to come to the apartment.
No.
I told him you would.
Mom, I've had enough
of the whole Dad thing.
I'm about two minutes away
from losing my mind
because they wrote
fag baby on my locker.
Kids are idiots.
Boy, you need a haircut.
Both hands on the wheel, please.
You have hair
just like your father's.
No matter what you do to it,
it wants to do something else.
No, Mom,
I am not like my father!
There is nothing about me
that is like my father.
I don't wanna have
dinner with him,
or see his apartment,
or spend quality time
with his boyfriend.
Got it?
Maggie's gonna be there.
We're not speaking.
Jack, I know the
situation isn't easy.
Sometimes you have to wrestle
with things to make them fit.
Your father is not
something to be ashamed of.
He realized things
weren't working out,
and he did what he had to do.
Sometimes people spend their whole lives
trying to figure out what makes them happy.
So are you happy?
I might not be happy
even if I were happy.
He took a risk.
Maybe you should be
proud of him.
Oh come on, you don't even
believe what you just said.
He wrecked everything.
It's not okay.
I know.
What do you say
we get some Ring Dings?
Hit her?
- What?
- Hit her.
Stop that.
I'm not talking to you.
Hi.
I'm Anne, Jack's mom.
- Hi, Maggie, Maggie Rogers.
- Come on in.
Mom, hello?
I'm sorry I was harsh before.
Max is a total rodent, but,
about the other stuff,
the letters and the locker...
I'm sorry.
But why me, it was your father
that was kissing the guy.
I know, I overreacted
and I'm sorry.
Unfortunately, I'm sorry
doesn't remove magic marker.
I can't control everything.
So do your friends
know about your dad?
Did he take you out in a rowboat
and confess too?
Nope.
One day, there was just
some guy sleeping over.
My dad moved into the guestroom,
and then he moved out.
And I thought it was insomnia,
because he always had insomnia.
But one Saturday morning,
he just took all this stuff
and started packing it in Hefty bags.
And all I kept saying was,
"Are we going to the movies?"
"Are we going to the movies?"
Because we always used to go
to the movies on Saturday.
And I knew something horrible was happening.
I just didn't know what.
So, uh...
is this gonna be
something special?
Yeah, it's gonna be a Zendo.
Cool.
Zendo, I've never seen one
in someone's backyard before.
You don't even know
what a Zendo is.
Yes I do.
It's a place where people...
It's a place where people, like...
Jack, what do
people do in a Zendo?
They meditate.
Yeah, it's a place
where people meditate.
Cool.
Yeah.
So are you like the poster child
for the well-adjusted
gay dad club?
It's not really like
I have a choice.
Are you going to your dad's house
for dinner next week?
I don't know.
I'll go if you go.
Okay.
Sure.
Do you wanna go to a movie?
- Now?
- No, like on Friday or something.
Um, sure.
Yeah, okay, I guess I could go.
Uh, do we dare
be seen in public?
Don't worry, I'll protect you.
Jack, you'll get used to it.
I did.
No, I don't think I will.
Elaine, look,
can I call you back?
Great, bye-bye.
I'm going,
but I'm not gonna eat.
Is that what you're wearing?
It's what I wear to school.
Don't you wanna get dressed up
for your father and Maggie?
Maggie, yes, my father, no.
Hey, what about meeting The Bob?
Mom, I already met The Bob when we
went bowling and once a long time ago.
When a long time ago?
Uh, when we went to
St. Michael's Island with Dad.
Bob came along.
Really? Bob was there?
I thought they just met.
No, he's known him for a while.
So do I have to change?
I don't care,
wear whatever you want.
I was at his apartment,
and all I kept thinking about
was him being gay
and this being the place
that he and The Bob lived in together.
I wanted to puke.
That is, until I
thought about Maggie.
Hey, hi ya.
Welcome.
Dining room. Bob, Jack's here.
That's the kitchen.
Let me show you this.
With a view.
Sofa looks pretty
good here, doesn't it?
Yeah.
Is that the chair that used
to be in the living room?
That's the chair that used
to be in the living room.
That's the coffee table
that I built you when you were little.
You've heard that story before.
Hi, Jack.
Nice slippers.
Oh, thanks.
I picked them up
at an antique fair.
I think they may have
belonged to Greta Garbo.
At least that's what
the guy told me.
I'll go check the oven.
Come on,
I wanna show you the view.
Not bad, huh?
Listen, Jack, I was hoping I could
come to your game, if that's okay.
Okay, where's Maggie?
She should be here any minute.
There you go.
Hi, hi, hi.
Come on in, Maggie.
You look wonderful.
- John.
- Nice to see you.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Jack, we'll only be able
to stay a minute.
Hey, how are you?
Hello, dear, how are you?
Come in, come. Please.
Dinner's just about ready, guys.
Okay.
I'm not hungry,
I'd like to go home.
Bob worked very hard on this dinner.
You'll hurt his feelings.
I don't care about his feelings.
I don't even know him.
I mean, shouldn't you care
more about my feelings than his?
Didn't I come first?
You know I care
about your feelings.
Then why are you
doing this to me?
I'm not doing anything to you.
Well then who
are you doing it to?
Jack...
who I am...
and who I love...
is about me.
It is not about you.
Well then how come they
call me fag baby at school?
Do you want me to talk to them?
Like what, have a
school assembly?
Okay, everybody, Jack's father
is here to talk about homosexuality
and why we shouldn't call
his son fag baby.
Come on.
Okay, you're right.
You have every
right to be upset.
Is there anything
I can do to help?
You can help me
by not being gay.
I wish I could do that, but I...
You know, it would
make my life easier too.
Well then just do it.
Do it for me.
I can't do that, Jack.
Then I'd like to go home.
Hey, dinner's ready.
Bob, Jack's not feeling that well.
I'm gonna drive him home.
- Oh.
- I feel fine.
I just don't wanna be here
with the two of you.
You were incredibly
rude to Bob tonight.
You know better than that.
Wasn't right.
You go and do this thing of yours,
you find yourself or whatever,
and then...
you expect everybody to knock
themselves out understanding you.
None of that is right.
Jack.
Jack!
What happened?
He's mad about me,
he's mad about Bob. He's...
I don't know what to do.
Can you blame him?
What happened to
my great defender?
She quit.
- Hey, hi guys.
- Hi.
- Where's Steve?
- He's working late, new client.
Hi, Michael, how's it going?
Oh, it goes and I go with it.
Why do I think
everyone's looking at me?
You may think that they are all
looking at you, but they are not.
I know, I know, I know.
Oh my God, he showed up.
Hi.
- They're not gonna sit with us, are they?
- No, they're not gonna sit with us.
It's your foot?
Yeah.
Do you think
you can stand on it?
I'm not sure.
I'll have to take a look.
Ow, ow.
Life is funny.
One minute, I was running
to the cheers of the crowd,
and the next I was
being wheeled down a hall
on a gurney by my
parents and their boyfriends.
You were playing beautifully.
Who belongs to who?
We can't have a thousand people
back here, immediate family only.
We're the parents.
Pick any two, the rest can
stay in the waiting room.
Who's in charge here?
Well, there's, uh...
nothing broken...
but you do have
a very bad sprain.
I'd like to have an air cast
and crutches, please.
Now...
I'd like you to keep
this elevated tonight
and all day tomorrow.
I want you to have ice on it
30 minutes out of every hour.
Any problems, give me a call.
What about basketball?
Well, I think you better
learn to walk before you run.
Maybe we shouldn't
have all gone to the game.
Maybe it ruined
your concentration.
It's not your fault.
My leg just got tangled
with the other guy's.
That's it.
Hey, kiddo, you got messages.
Your coach, Maggie, and Elaine.
She said she'll come over
during the day tomorrow
and hang out with you
while everyone's at work.
Oh, that's so nice.
She adores you.
She thinks you're very special.
- I am very special.
- I know.
But it's nice when someone else
agrees with you.
Mom?
Mm?
What's it mean when your father
picks a boring boyfriend?
That he had a lapse
in judgment after us.
That's what I thought.
- Enough?
- Thank you.
You're welcome.
You look very pale.
I feel very pale.
Do you want another pill?
No thanks.
If she hadn't been Mrs. Burka,
Max's mother,
I would have asked her to do that
to my whole body for hours on end.
I wondered if she knew
how she was making me feel.
That feels good.
Well...
I better run.
I told Steve I'd be home, and...
you know how he gets
if everything isn't perfect.
You rest a while longer, okay?
Your mom's gonna be home soon.
Oh, hey.
So, are you like down
for the count or what?
Down, but not out!
Hey, well, I brought
you a present.
Yeah, what, homework?
Ta-da.
Hi.
Hi.
I hope you're not out.
I'm really looking
forward to Friday.
I assume you're still free?
Free but crippled.
Well, what's happening Friday?
We have a date.
Really?
Well, uh, can I come?
No, Max, because then
it wouldn't be a date.
Anyways, uhm...
I'm gonna be late,
piano lesson day.
Did you see that?
She just kissed you.
That's like the second time
in recent history.
Well this is better than TV.
I'm watching you
go through puberty.
So, uh...
what do you do in a Zendo?
Just sit and wait?
No waiting, just sitting.
And then what?
Nothing.
I don't get it.
Well there's nothing to get,
nothing happens.
But if you do it enough,
you get yourself.
Okay.
So how many times
have you seen that film?
Like two million.
Yeah.
My dad used to take me to
the movies every Saturday.
Mine did too, maybe it's like a...
a gay dad thing or something.
I'm kidding.
So is it better or worse to be
a girl or a guy with a gay dad?
I think it's worse for a guy.
It's more threatening or
something, I don't know.
Yeah, I have to say,
when he first told me,
I kept thinking,
"Does that mean I'm gay too?"
And now?
Oh,
now I'm sure I'm not gay.
So how come you never
talk about your mom?
Because she's not around.
Is she dead?
No, she lives in Virginia.
Three years ago, she...
invited me to come and visit.
And...
I remember I spent the whole summer
baby-sitting her two new kids while
she went off with her friends
and got her nails done.
She's got a new life...
a new husband, and...
as far as she's concerned, my dad and I
are just mistakes she made a long time ago.
But she's your mom, right?
Yeah.
Then she got annoyed about something,
threw her stuff in the back of a car and...
never came back.
How old were you?
Six.
And I remember...
I thought it was my fault,
like I thought I had done
something wrong.
Yeah, I thought
I was too boring.
Good night.
- Can you get out?
- I can try.
- Thank you.
- Welcome.
Hey.
Sorry about that,
we just started talking.
Oh, that's all right.
So you want me to drive
you guys somewhere
where you can make out
or something?
Michael, it's our
first date, okay?
Geez! Kids today, you're damned
if you do, damned if you don't.
- Sorry about that.
- Okay.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
So, um...
I guess I'll phone you tomorrow.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Thank you.
- Bye.
Bye.
So?
Well, if I'd known
dating was that easy,
I woulda started
when I was like two.
We watched the film.
I held her hand.
And her hand was sweaty.
My hand was sweaty.
And our sweat
just kind of mixed.
And then we had ice cream.
And the vanilla melted
with the chocolate. And...
it was all just
kind of fantastic.
Yeah, I'll bet it was.
- You got enough warm clothes?
- Yeah.
- You got money?
- Yep.
It was very nice of
Elaine to invite you.
Yeah, I know,
I'm Max's entertainment.
Have a good time.
Bye.
Bye.
If someone could read the signs,
we'd know where to get off.
Steve, this is not my fault.
You're driving the car.
That's what you say.
Something about
Mr. Burka swerving...
made me think of Mr. Bailey.
Swerving on a highway was
definitely not a Mr. Bailey thing to do.
Made me think of him asking,
"Had my parents crashed?"
Dinner with Uncle Morris
and Aunt Mary is 7:30,
and they're looking
forward to seeing you.
Did they write "seeing you"
or "soaking you?"
Every time we go out to dinner
with them, I have to pay the check.
So just decide that
this time you won't.
I grew up on this lake.
I bet you didn't know that, Jack.
Almost drowned in
this bad boy once.
Every year, he tells us about
how he almost drowned.
You know, it means something
to have a place to come back to.
People always feel the need
to confess on a lake.
I myself don't like
lakes anymore.
They're overrated.
Boy, this is the life, huh?
Million miles away
from everything.
Million years away.
No littering please.
Feeding the fish.
Hey, Captain,
toss me those chips.
What's a lake made out of?
Oh, a lake's like
a really big puddle.
Well, what's a mountain
made out of?
Mountain's like a big rock.
Do rocks grow?
Only in your head.
Max.
Uh, could I have
some more ketchup?
Hey, Honey,
can I get a refill here?
Thanks.
Any time of day.
We've called him on emergencies.
So, how goes it in the market?
Any tips?
No tips.
Only top-secret insight
I'm not privy to share.
What do I owe you
for Mary and myself?
It's okay, Morris,
we'll split it 50-50.
But they've got
three extra people.
In the morning, I want you
all to come down to the house,
and I'll make you up
a nice big breakfast.
You know, I got this.
Whole, half,
what's the difference?
What pleases you
pleases the court.
Maybe next time, Morris.
- Next time.
- Uh, Sweetie...
thank you for everything.
It's very old-fashioned.
Yeah, like prison.
No, I like it.
Well you boys sleep well.
Is everything okay?
Mm-hmm.
Good night, Jack.
I love you.
What was that, "I love you?"
I don't know, it just
kinda slipped out.
Only top-secret insight
I am not privy to.
What an ass.
Honey, you could
have split the check.
What are you always on me for?
This is my vacation.
Why can't I relax
for 10 seconds?
So what if I pick up the check?
Well, you're the one who said
you were always getting soaked.
Can't I complain without
you throwing it my face?
You know what,
no, you know what?
Maybe the problem is you.
We should get pneumonia
not to hear them?
Is this normal?
It may not be normal, but...
they do it all the time.
I am so sick of
being criticized.
Not one thing I do is right,
according to you.
No, no, shut up,
Elaine, just shut up!
We can hear you!
Even the clanking of the fan
couldn't get their voices outta my head.
I closed my eyes,
trying to think of something else.
Anything else.
I told you he was sleeping.
Pack up, we're outta here.
We're leaving, get up.
Where are we going?
Home.
My father beat up my mom, okay.
He hauled off and slugged her.
Well, my dad once threw
a box of donuts at my mom,
and they went flying everywhere.
Pack, you idiot.
Where's Dad?
What an asshole.
This isn't the first time,
you know.
I want my dad.
Okay, so we have everything?
Where's my dad?
He went for a walk
with your uncle.
I'll put the stuff in the car.
Okay.
It was nothing like when
my dad threw the donuts.
It was 1,000 times worse.
Everything that had
happened to my family
and everything that I'd
ever felt about the Burkas
or anyone else was
spilling out all over the place,
and I didn't know
how to stop it.
Here...
you boys go and get
yourself something, okay?
I had this image of myself
as a grown-up,
sitting in the car with her,
while the kids
were in the store.
I guess I just didn't think
she should be alone.
I guess I wanted to protect her.
Why don't you go on inside,
see if something catches your eye?
I don't know what to say.
You don't have to say anything.
To place a collect call,
press two.
Please state your name.
Jack.
We're not home right now,
but leave your name and number,
we'll call you back.
Will you accept charges,
press one. Now...
To place a collect call,
press two.
Please state your name.
Jack.
You have a collect
call from Jack.
- Will you accept charges, press one.
- Jack?
Yeah, Dad, press one.
- Jack, hello.
- Dad?
Jack?
Is everything all right?
Mr. Burka hit Mrs. Burka.
What do you mean, Jack?
Hit her, you know,
hit her, like in a boxing match
only without a ring.
Oh, is Elaine all right?
I don't know, it means
she's driving, but...
her face looks like a hamburger.
I'll meet you at the Burkas.
Just keep it together
until you get there, okay?
Okay.
Dad?
Yeah, yeah.
Promise you'll pick me up.
I promise, I'll be there.
I realized at that moment
that there were only three people
in the world that I could turn to.
Mrs. Burka, who couldn't
help anyone right now.
My mother, who wasn't home.
And my father, who was.
Hey.
Did you guys get
everything you wanted?
Yeah, yeah, we're fine,
let's just go.
Okay?
I...
I got you a present.
Thank you, Jack.
How come he's here?
Because I called him.
What did you do,
send smoke signals?
Are you all right?
Yeah, I'm okay.
Did you call the police?
He didn't mean it,
he just, he gets angry.
Help them out with the bags.
Are you expecting
him back today?
I don't know, I think he's gonna
stay with his family for a few days.
Come on, let's put some ice on that.
Do you think anything's broken?
- No, it's...
- Are you sure?
It's fine, it's just...
it's bruised, not broken.
If you mention one word
of this to anyone,
I will have you taken care of.
- Taken care of?
- Yeah, I will kill you, okay?
I will have you killed.
Max, hello, it's me, Jack.
Jack, your best friend.
Okay, first of all,
you're scaring me.
Second of all,
you're acting demented.
And third of all, if you don't
start acting nicer to your own mom
I'm gonna kill you.
I keep trying to imagine
Mr. Burka hitting Mrs. Burka.
And every time I come close to the
moment when something bad happens,
my mind just freezes.
Mr. B hitting Mrs. B.
Pretty scary.
I imagine myself older...
bigger...
blocking Mr. Burka's
punch with one arm,
knocking him out with the other.
Hey, Max.
Hey.
How's your mom doing?
She looks like she got
her face put in a Cuisinart.
Look, Bob and I are having some
people over next Saturday for brunch,
why don't you two come?
Look, I may have called you,
but I still don't wanna
hang out with you.
Oh, I know you don't
wanna hang out with me.
But Maggie Rogers
was coming, so I...
Sure, for how long,
five minutes?
No, for the whole thing.
That's not fair.
Come on, that's
flat-out bribery.
You know I'm weak
when it comes to her.
So, are you coming or not?
- Yeah.
- Good.
Max, you?
Little football?
Come on, here we go.
- No, no, my leg, I can't.
- Okay. Come on!
Gannon, to Rice.
What am I gonna do?
You're gonna take care of yourself for once.
That's what you're gonna do.
What about the kids?
The kids don't wanna
see you get hit anymore.
Jack gave me this.
He just...
Anne, I'm so scared.
You must be Jack.
You look just like your father.
How's school?
I hear so much about you.
Um, actually I'm Max.
That's Jack right there.
Let's go!
I think that woman who
cornered Max is Bob's shrink.
I didn't know that
Bob had a shrink.
Yeah, my Dad took me
to see him a couple times.
Did I mention that I
hate my dad's boyfriend?
Okay, he clips his toenails
and then he eats the pieces.
I caught him doing it when
he thought no one was looking.
Isn't that disgusting?
- Yeah.
- Ugh.
Don't you wish your dad
would just find some girl,
get married and then
all this would stop?
No, I'd be totally jealous.
Oh.
So, can I kiss you?
No!
- Why not?
- Because you kiss everyone.
I do not!
Come on, I saw you with Jenny.
Yeah, but that was different.
Oh.
It was.
And besides, you kissed me the other day,
so that's where I got the idea.
Yeah, but you were injured.
And you've gotta wait til you earn
my trust, and then you can kiss me.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
Hey, do you think Max is okay?
No.
Max?
Max!
What?
Ew, are you stuck?
No.
Hey, are you okay?
Why are you throwing up into a trash chute
instead of a restroom like a normal person?
Um, can we get you
some seltzer or something?
Yeah, that'd be great.
Why don't you go get it?
Okay.
What is wrong with you?
Okay, why do I feel like I'm seeing
tomorrow's headlines:
"Teenager Dies at
Homosexual Brunch?"
This is totally pathetic, Max.
Oh, what are you gonna do,
you're gonna hit me?
Look...
just leave me alone, okay.
I'm not doing anything,
it's none of your business.
Oh, it's none of my business,
and that's why you're doing it at my dad's
apartment instead of your own goddam house.
There's no one at my
house, asshole, remember?
You're driving me crazy, Max.
No, no, no, no,
you're driving me crazy.
Okay, look, your life
is a complete mess
but you don't have to make it a
bigger drama than it already is.
Look who's talking, okay,
you have no idea.
Have you ever seen
your parents fight?
Huh?
Literally haul off
and punch each other?
If you ever heard the kinds of things
my parents say to each other, you'd die.
I mean, they hate
each other, okay.
And right now,
I hate both of them.
How do you think
that makes me feel?
Look, Max...
you're not your father.
You're not your mother.
You're you.
And you have to
take care of yourself.
And you have to
protect yourself.
And you have to find
a way through this.
And, okay, you can't fix it,
but it doesn't mean you
should wreck your own life either.
This coming from someone
who hates his own father.
I'd trade my dad with
yours in a second.
No, Max, you can't do that.
You don't trade one set
of problems for another.
Who says?
What are you, the pope
or something?
Okay, I don't know what to do.
Max, I don't know what to do.
Nothing I say is the right thing,
and you're scaring me, okay.
I mean, I already watched
my whole family fall apart,
and the truth is that I thought
your family was
the perfect family.
Now look...
both our families are nuts.
God, it stinks in here.
Sorry.
Um, this is all I could find.
He's completely drunk.
Okay, Max,
let's take a little walk.
Hello.
Hi.
Mom?
Jack?
Um...
Max went a little crazy
at dad's party today.
I mean, everything's fine,
everything's under control.
But I think Max and I are
gonna stay here tonight.
Do you want me to come and get you?
I can be there in two minutes.
You sure you're not
being held hostage?
No, Mom, everything's okay.
There's no hostage situation.
Okay, bye.
Bye.
You know, Max is really lucky
to have you as a friend.
I spoke with Elaine.
She said Steve is getting help,
and they're going to therapy.
Is he gonna move back in?
Uh,
don't know, but it is
never over until it is over.
That's true.
- Hey, Dad.
- Yeah.
Do you remember when we went
to St. Michael's with Bob?
Mm-hmm.
Well...
were you and him together then?
No, we were just friends then.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
We'll come back for that.
Okay, let's try it again,
be careful.
You know, we don't
have to do this in the rain.
I can wait and get my
license when I'm 30.
It's no problem.
Okay great, come on,
let's go, cut the wheel.
Come on.
Cut!
Cut a little more.
Cut it more.
Look, you're doing fine.
Stop!
What happened?
Did you do that on purpose?
No, are you okay?
Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine.
Why don't we call it
a day today, okay?
Okay.
God, a car is not a car,
it's a machine.
When you're ready, I'd like to
take you for your driver's test.
It's okay, Michael
said he would.
I know, but I'd like to,
if you don't mind.
Yeah, sure.
Are you gonna hate me forever?
I don't know.
Hard to believe.
You are turning 16.
Yeah, it kinda creeps up on you.
Yeah.
Maybe we should
do something special.
Do you remember when
we went to the circus?
Yeah, I was six.
You took 10 of my friends,
we had front-row seats,
and then the lion bit
the head off the monkey,
and we all had nightmares
for about a week.
Well, Mom's baking a cake.
I think that should be good enough.
Okay.
When you're a kid, everyone
makes a big deal outta your birthday.
You get presents, your mom
brings cupcakes to your school.
It's like a national holiday.
The fact is, when you're 16,
you're not 15 anymore.
You wake up, you look at yourself,
and there you are.
Your hopes, dreams and
fantasies starting right at you.
At a certain point, you stop
waiting for your life to begin.
You realize this is your life,
right here, right now.
Make of it what you will,
what you can.
Hey.
So what, when I graduate,
is somebody gonna write
fag baby grows up in big
letters on the school roof?
Maybe?
- Happy birthday.
- Thanks.
What is it, a pipe bomb, a gun?
No.
Okay.
Condoms?
You got me condoms
for my birthday?
Yeah.
Okay, well thanks for thinking of me
in such a weirdly personal way.
I'll treasure them.
And then I'll use them when I'm
like 50 and married or something.
So...
your papers are due next week.
And all papers are due.
No exceptions.
The thing about people
is that they're human.
As obvious as that is,
we have to remember it.
People are who they are.
And once you realize that...
you'll end up less disappointed.
And then sometimes
they'll surprise you.
Jack.
Jack?
Are you with us?
Not really.
So, uh...
see your cake?
Yeah...
it's fantastic.
I got these guys, um...
but, uh...
I thought I better
ask you first.
Um...
do we actually have
to put them on the cake?
I just think I'm a little
too old for decorations.
I think you're right.
What is that?
It's a Zendo.
- A Zendo.
- Yeah, a long story.
It's a Zendo.
So, this is where
I had my garden.
And this is where
I used to play with Jack.
It's not a historical landmark,
we still live here.
I know, I know,
I'm just showing Bob around.
Okay.
Is Mom feeding the holly?
I don't know.
Anne.
What?
Are you feeding the holly?
Am I feeding the hungry?
The holly.
The holly, uh, yeah, um,
go ahead and do what you want.
I mean, feed the holly, clip the forsythia,
deadhead the roses, be my guest.
She's not feeding the holly.
Oh, who wants sprouts?
Yes, please.
Hi, Jack, sorry I'm late.
Hi, Maggie.
That Maggie did that,
in front of everyone,
was rather impressive.
I was also hoping Mrs. Burka
was just a teeny bit jealous.
Mom and I worked
together on that one.
Thank you.
Oh, it's beautiful.
- Did you make that?
- I did.
I bet you did.
- Thank you.
- Oh you're welcome, I hope it fits.
I have one, it'll fit.
There we go.
Here, open mine next.
That's my favorite.
See?
Now I know.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
I wanted to thank everyone,
but really I didn't.
Because thank you is
such an overused word.
It means too many things,
and at the same time...
it means nothing.
But one thing I did know...
was that I wanted to sit there until
I became old enough to understand my life.
Well, I think that
went very well.
Yes, well, nothing fell on any one
and no one choked,
so they all seemed
to have a good time.
Oh, my baby's 16 years old.
16, that makes me an old woman.
- Can I go for a walk?
- Go, go, go.
Watch the leg.
- Who says you're old?
- I do.
So are you.
I walked through
the night alone,
Jack singular.
I'd always be my mother's Jack,
and my father's Jack,
and the Jack with
the gay dad and Bob,
and Michael and Max and Mrs. B.
I'd always be all that,
but more than that,
I was myself.
Jack, no strings attached.
Whatever my family was or wasn't
seemed to be getting less important.
My life was my own now,
and my job was to make it
what I wanted it to be.
I only wished I'd known
that a couple of years ago.
I was Jack,
plain Jack,
Jack out there all by myself.
"Jack takes the pass."
The announcer's voice
boomed in my head.
I ran unevenly across the court,
wondering if my leg
would ever be normal again.
Or if my life would
ever be normal again.
"Fast Jack is coming in low."
I crouched down,
dancing in and out.
My leg felt like I was
stepping on pushpins.
"He's up! Fast Jack is up!"
I pushed through the pain.
As the crowd roared,
my leg didn't hurt.
Nothing hurt.
My mind was flowing.
I was Fast Jack, and
I knew I would make it.
And that everything
would be okay.