Jack Brown: Genius (1996) Movie Script
1
[owl hooting]
[snoring]
[snoring]
Kaspar?
Huh?
- Master...
- Hush, boy.
Thou wilt waken the others.
Tread softly.
We must hasten, Kaspar.
The sun is nearly upon us.
[Kaspar]
Whence thou fly heavenward and
reacheth thouest devout Father,
wilt thou advise the Lord God
of my eternal devotion to him?
I shall indeed, Kaspar.
I shall indeed.
Master, wilt thou confirm
that the Lord God's beard
reaches his midriff?
I shall see it
with mine own eyes, Kaspar.
Okay.
'Tis a high perch, Master.
Aye. I shall take to the air
like a mighty kestrel.
Master,
whence will thou be back?
At the setting
of the sun, Kaspar.
In time for vespers.
I will be waitin', Master.
Good lad. Oh, and bring
with thee a flagon of fine ale.
Indeed, Master.
[grunting]
Farewell, Kaspar!
Godspeed, Master!
[seagulls cawing]
[speaking Latin]
[speaking Latin]
[screaming]
[crash]
Oh...
[grunting]
Oh, Master. Master.
Thou hast committed self-murder.
Nay, Kaspar.
Thy soul is doomed
to a thousand years
in Purgatory.
Nay, Kaspar.
I... will... fly!
[groans]
[shrieks, gasps]
[praying in Latin]
[shrieks, prays in Latin]
[continues in Latin]
Merciful Father,
take thy child, Elmer,
into the bosom
of thy forgiveness.
[screaming, whimpering]
[rumbling]
Hi, and it's another great day
here in the capital city
here on Pirate Radio.
It's not quite so warm today.
Expecting a high of about 36.
Well, we all celebrate
Wellington's great win
over Auckland
at the cricket once again.
When will those guys learn...
Up with the gulls and fast
returning through the blue
I've got a bird's-eye view
and I'm looking down on you
I'm coming down
I'm coming down
If you would open up
your eyes you'd only see
I wouldn't fall
if you were holding onto me
I'm holding on
I'm holding on
This is no ordinary life
Extraordinary life
This is no ordinary life
It's a breeze
Extraordinary life
The sun is on my back
as I throw my shadow down
I watch it growing up
as I approach the ground
I'm coming down
I'm coming down
This is no ordinary life
Extraordinary life
This is no ordinary life
It's a breeze
Right now, Jack.
All set?
Uh...
This is no ordinary life
Extraordinary life
This is no ordinary life
Extraordinary life
This is no ordinary life
Come on, Jack.
This is no ordinary life
Excuse me, girls.
Good morning.
It's a breeze
Extraordinary life
Here we go.
That's us.
Mr. Chan, we are incredibly
proud of our research.
We've been working on this
for the last two years,
and our team has
perfected this model.
It is completely
energy efficient.
Right. Now, when
we're meeting them,
I want you to bow.
Like this. And don't
look 'em in the eye.
They don't like it. Come on.
Get 'em on, get 'em on.
In fact, this generates
enough power
to supply 60 domestic homes.
We've had one running
for a while now.
[Mr. Chan
speaking Chinese]
Mr. Chan
say thank you,
but he must have
one thousand time
the energy of such a device
to drive his steel mills.
You know, Jack,
there are those in life
who sniff arses...
and those who have
their arses sniffed.
[elevator bell dings]
This is-- Oh!
I'm completely confident that--
Good morning.
Alan MacGreenberg,
Am-Fac Industries.
Picture, if you will,
the entire population
of Hong Kong
going to work on these.
Allow me to introduce you
to Am-Fac's top man,
Jack Brown,
and the prototype
of his latest invention,
the Bigger Strides.
[grunting]
[grunting]
Revolutionary.
One small step for Am-Fac,
one giant leap for mankind.
Nature's energy
harnessed for all.
[speaking Chinese]
Mr. Chan would like to know,
what is the tape recorder?
Jack?
It's the power amplifier.
Works the hydraulics.
You see, you can decrease
or increase the power
like this.
[screaming]
[woman]
Oh, my gosh!
[sighs]
[screaming, shouting]
[screaming, shouting continue]
[grunting]
You bloody idiot!
You've stuffed
the Bigger Strides.
I don't believe it.
My big break ruined!
What a bloody disaster.
Alan Ian Donald
Lawrence MacGreenberg?
Yes.
[door slamming]
No.
Bloody tax department.
They're shutting me down.
Bastards!
My empire.
Finished.
[sighs]
When I first came
to this town,
I only had one shoe.
And that's all
I'll have when I leave.
[phone chirping]
Tell 'em I'm uncontactable.
[chirping]
- Hello.
- I'm not here.
I've left town.
This is Miss Wong,
calling on behalf of Mr. Chan.
- I'm sorry, Miss Wong--
- Good morning.
Am-Fac Industries,
Allan MacGreenberg speaking.
Mr. Chan was most impressed
by your demonstration.
Mr. Chan say this machine
could be what he looking for.
[speaking Chinese]
Mr. Chan say he can
purchase your machine
if proper demonstration
successful.
Mr. Chan has one hour free.
Thursday, six o'clock.
Fine. Perfect.
Thank you.
Thank you.
No, thank you. Thank you.
Sayonara, Miss Wong.
Konichiwa.
- Three days?
- Fix 'em!
[sighs]
I'll need cadmium bolts,
new pistons,
Kevlar, gerelium sheet,
titanium.
I've got to replace
the superconductors
in the power amplifier.
Boss... Boss, that's
at least eight grand.
Mmm...
Am-Fac are gonna be
a major partner
in revolutionizing
the Hong Kong transport system.
I feel tension.
Ah, the Bigger Strides.
Bloody triumph
of Kiwi ingenuity.
You shouldn't swear so much.
- I don't do it
in front of strangers.
- You shouldn't do it at all.
I hope you
didn't wear that tie
to meet with Mr. Chan.
Hmm?
The silk Yves Saint-Laurent
would have been more suitable.
Mmm. I'm gonna
make a fortune.
Tourists. They could walk
the Milford track in 20 minutes.
I'm gonna get listed
on the stock market.
I'll be floating some shares.
There's a killing
to be made by somebody.
Somebody will make
a wee fortune,
if they've got
the courage to invest.
Do friends get first...
bite of the cherry?
What are friends for?
How much?
Ten thousand.
Maximum five years.
Guaranteed 30 percent
over your original
investment per annum.
And your money back at the end.
[rumbling]
Shit!
Come on.
We'll be safe in bed.
We can seal the deal.
Direct Drive, Pseudo Byte,
Seminuclear Physics Monthly
and Hang Gliding For Fun and--
[rumbling]
What?
Oh, God!
Shit!
[grunts]
Oh...
[shrieks, whimpers]
- [Jack whimpers]
- [bookstore woman shrieks]
[screaming, panting]
[grunting, panting]
[screaming]
[Jack]
Dennis?
Dennis!
[panting]
Dennis!
- Dennis!
- [knocking]
Can't you see
I'm closed? Jack!
- [panting]
- What happened, mate?
- It's my eye.
- Eh? Who hit you?
- I don't know.
- Come on.
Better get something on that.
You'll have a face like
a pug's ass in the morning.
Here you go, mate.
- On the house.
- Thanks, Dennis.
- Yoo-hoo!
- Oop. Hey.
Hi, hon.
- Hi, Jack.
- Hi.
Trying to see how they
get the stick inside?
- He's been hit.
- I'm not surprised.
Come on. We're late.
Eileen's got tickets
to the Russian ballet.
Oh.
[belches, groans]
- See you, Dennis.
- Eh?
- You all right? No probs?
- Yeah. No.
Um, uh...
[retching]
[coughing, retching]
[Dennis]
There you go, mate.
[sighs]
Thanks.
No worries.
Come around in the morning.
[Eileen]
Do you think it would
be possible just once
for us to have a night out
without Jack messing it up?
He's my mate.
He hasn't got
anyone else.
When we go to the pictures,
he sits between us.
Go for a drive,
he talks nonstop.
We go for dinner, he tags along.
And these are
my best suede shoes!
[breathing heavily]
[screaming]
[gasps]
Ah! Ah. No, no!
[shrieking]
[car horn plays tune]
Yo! Mate!
Didn't know you
to do tai chi.
[inhales]
Hello, Dennis.
Great day for it.
Your eye okay?
[mock retching]
[laughing]
We, uh, we missed
the show last night.
Eileen was, uh--
Eileen was pretty ticked.
Listen, mate...
me and Eileen,
we gotta spend
more time alone.
Together.
I won't be able to see you
for a month or two.
I won't need a lift.
I'm not going to work today.
[laughing]
That's great, eh?
I knew you'd understand.
Well... see you
around sometime.
[laughing]
[car horn plays tune]
[Elmer speaking Latin]
[thinking]
Hmm?
[speaking Latin]
[thinking]
Who are you?
[Elmer]
I be Elmer of Malmesbury.
I'm in your knowledge box, Jack.
[thinking]
Knowledge box?
I stand falsely accused
of self-murder.
You have 30 sunrises
to save my immortal soul.
[thinking]
Thirty sunrises.
Thirty sunrises, Jack.
You must fly me to heaven
and prove my innocence,
or I shall spend all eternity
in the steaming bowels of Hell.
- Understand, boy?
- Yes.
Four spans of heavy twill.
Four sacks of feathers.
[Elmer]
And not chicken feathers.
That's the mistake
young Kaspar made.
Everyone knows
chickens can't fly!
Cheers, mate.
[ringing]
[Jack on answering machine]
I'm out.
- [beep]
- Jack, where the hell are you?
The stuff's all here.
It's cost me an arm and a leg.
Get your ass here right now!
Don't you bloody
let me down now!
Jack? Jack!
[Elmer]
'Tis a fine job
we've done, Jack.
My new design.
Twice the feathers
and half the weight.
Now...
find thee a watchtower.
There, Clarence, all better.
Come with me. Oh, shh.
[car horn plays tune]
[dogs barking, howling]
- Hi.
- Hi.
I, uh, still feel bad
about last night.
Oh, Dennis, no.
You know--
You know how we said
we shouldn't sleep
with each other
until we had
a committed relationship,
and I agreed?
Oh, Dennis.
I wanna sleep with you, Eileen.
Oh! [giggles]
[Elmer]
'Tis a fine high perch.
I shall take to the air
like a mighty kestrel.
[dogs barking]
[Dennis moans]
My place.
[Elmer]
Come on, now, Jack.
Keep thy peepers heavenward.
One step at a time, boy.
[grunting]
Jesus!
Jack? Jack! What the hell
do you think you're doing?
We're gonna fly!
- What?
- Fly?
- Don't be so bloody stupid!
- Dennis, do something.
It's all right!
These are duck feathers!
- What?
- Dennis, do something!
Jack, don't do it, mate!
Keep your eyes on me!
[Elmer]
Ready thyself
for a puff of wind.
[Dennis]
Step down off the rail!
Just gently step down!
I didn't mean what I said
this morning! We're mates!
We'll always be mates!
Eileen and me, we're here!
We can talk about it!
[Elmer]
Look to the heavens
and bend thy knees!
Stretch thine arms
to full height!
Don't do it, Jack!
Jump.
[Eileen]
Jack!
[Elmer speaking Latin]
[Jack, Dennis grunt]
[grunting]
Dennis?
Dennis?
[bell dings]
Dennis!
Just what did you
think you were doing?
I don't know.
[panting]
Jack!
What?
[Elmer]
Waste not a single minute.
Back up the tower.
Quick, boy, we jump again.
Thou must kick
thy pins out higher!
- Oh.
- What's going on?
I'm jumping off the tower again.
See you, Dennis.
- Eh?
- Jack!
All we have to do
is kick our pins out higher.
[sighs]
Jack, wait!
[Elmer]
Hasten, boy.
The wagtail hath you
in her sights!
Jack, are you out of your mind?
[grunting]
Break her clutches, lad.
[Elmer]
Flee!
[grunting]
Oh!
[grunting]
Help me.
Please. Help me.
Make haste, boy.
Let us be gone!
Get out!
Leave me alone.
- Obey me, boy!
- No!
What the hell were you doing?
I'm not feeling too good.
Mr. Chan's gonna be here
in two days.
So get to work, finish
the bloody Bigger Strides,
and don't even think about
leaving till you have.
I was soaring heavenward
to the roof of the sky
to visit my Lord God...
Come on.
Pull your finger out.
when a small error in my feather
cloak caused me to plummet.
Do you know how much
that stuff costs?
I was doomed
to a thousand years
in Purgatory,
falsely accused of self-murder.
Jesus wept!
What the hell are you doing?
Concern thee not
with lowly matters,
for we have an unfinished
task before us.
[Alan]
Can you work
any faster?
If I do not fly before
the thousand years is up,
I suffer in hell
for all eternity!
You're choked
on the way, sunbeam!
[Elmer]
Only thee can save
my immortal soul!
Shut up!
Thou canst not silence me, Jack.
Thy brain pan is
my permanent place of abode.
La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la
La la la la la la la
la la la la la la la
La la la la la la
la la la la la la la
- [loud rock]
- [Elmer continues vocalizing]
La la la la la
- [loud rock]
- [Elmer continues vocalizing]
[rock volume increases]
La la la la la la
- [loud rock continues]
- [Elmer continues]
La la la
[Elmer]
Now, young shaver,
you do as I bid.
[heavy breathing]
I've been
looking forward to this.
Me, too.
No, no, no.
I'll do it.
I'll do it.
Sorry, sorry.
I'm sorry.
It's all right.
Push your shoulders back a bit.
- [stifled laugh]
- Fuck it!
I'm sorry.
Welcome to Am-Fac.
[Elmer]
I hath great doubt that
these spring-heeled sandals
will get us
off the ground, Jack.
And if they don't,
you will truly
suffer the consequences.
[grunts]
Oh!
Oh-ho!
Well, I'll be bum-swizzled.
[clears throat, laughs]
Uh, a glass of sake?
Uh, some, uh--
Some raw fish?
- Uh, Mr. Chan
has not much time.
- Ah.
[clears throat]
Well, uh, come through.
Come through.
Come through.
All right, Old Jack.
[speaking Chinese]
Mr. Chan wishes to know
about tape recorder machine.
This.
Um, it amplifies power.
[speaking Chinese]
[speaking Chinese]
Mr. Chan wishes to know
could power amplify
connected to wind turbine,
drive steel mill?
Sure. Yeah. Drive dozens,
depending on the configuration.
[speaking Chinese]
[speaking Chinese]
Mr. Chan says he will buy
tape recorder machine.
He will pay you $2 million
with all world rights forever.
Two-- Two--
Excellent.
[clears throat]
Well, done, Jack.
My spring-heeled sandals
are not for barter!
Two million U.S. dollars.
Real money.
[Elmer]
Judas money, Jack.
[grunting]
Jack, there's $2 million
in that briefcase.
Get the bloody gear off.
[laughing]
- [grunts]
- [groans]
Aah!
[grunts]
You little bastard!
[Elmer]
Flee, Jack!
[MacGreenberg]
You bloody fool!
Uh! Shit!
[Elmer]
Push spring-heels inversely!
[yells]
[gasps, whimpers]
[yelling]
[horn blowing]
[horn blowing]
[whimpering]
Oh!
[passengers murmuring]
Get your bloody hair cut!
[yells, grunts]
[laughs]
Get back!
[Jack yells]
[grunting]
[crashing]
- You bloody yuppie!
- [MacGreenberg grunts]
Wow!
This'll sting a bit.
Do you want to tell me
what's going on?
[Elmer]
Careful, boy.
The wench speaks with
the tongue of a serpent.
I'll be the measure of her!
- Sayeth after me!
- Come on.
Oh, ye art doxy!
Ye craven fustilugs.
Dost thou think
a simple quicksilver
knoweth more than a man
of a thousand years?
Jack?
Dost thou take me
for a chuckleheaded fool?
What on earth
are you talking about?
[grunting]
There's a monk
in my head, Eileen.
Pardon?
[grunting]
He's a medieval tower jumper,
and he wants me to fly.
I see.
Stay here, Jack.
[thunder rumbling]
No, you, uh, you gotta
turn left here.
I'm sorry.
I'm not taking you home.
[psychiatrist]
So, Jack, this monk's
a bit of a nuisance, eh?
He's an evil apothecary, Jack!
Tell him nothing!
His name's Elmer.
Elmer, huh?
Yeah, I can't shut him up.
He's talking to me
all the time.
I think you should spend
a week or two with us, Jack.
Honestly, Jack,
it's for the best.
[whimpering]
[chuckles]
He's well down
the track, isn't he?
[thinking]
Eileen!
[chuckles]
Ah...
So, this is what I get
for my ten thousand?
[moaning]
He's built the prototype.
It's inside one of
his little SanaTechno
tape recorder jobbies.
All the kids have them.
[panting]
[chuckling]
[yelping]
Oh!
[groaning]
- [groaning]
- So...
all we need to do...
is find Jack Brown.
- [sizzling]
- [screaming]
No, no, no.
No, no.
[bike horn tooting]
- No!
- We've done a few tests.
- He's quite extraordinary.
- No!
Phenomenal IQ.
It's off the scale.
The highest I've ever seen.
This flying fetish...
[woman laughing, chattering]
It's very likely
to be some sort of...
defense mechanism.
Manifestation
of his desire to escape.
Bah.
I'm sorry.
I can't be much help
with his family history.
He's a very private person.
- How are you coping?
- Me? I'm fine, thanks.
It can be very stressful
for the other partner.
- We've got a support group.
- Oh, I'm not-- Um, he's--
We're not--
- Oh, I'm sorry. I thought,
since you brought him in.
- No. No, no. Goodness sake, no.
No, he's just a friend.
Well, my fiance Dennis'
friend, actually.
Yes. Oh, uh...
[laughing]
Well, if you do
discover anything...
Of course.
Certainly.
Right.
J.P. equals air density...
deluxe cubic foot.
[sighs]
Look, Elmer, do you
want me to try this or not?
Then we gotta do it my way.
Better science, all right?
[sighs]
V equals speed, feet per second.
Hello?
Hey!
How's the flying going?
I'm not trying to fly, Eileen.
I'd need much bigger wings
than these.
We're just working out
the coefficient
for lift to drag.
We're making
extremely good progress.
In fact, I'd say that
within seven sunrises
we'll be
well and truly airborne.
- Oh.
- [chuckling]
- Let them help you, Jack.
- Oh, I do.
They give me
as much work here as I want.
Dr. Gillies was asking
about your past.
There you go.
My entire family history.
Uh, I... give up, Jack.
Oh.
I was abandoned as a baby,
and that was pinned to my nappy.
So, you've...
[sighs]
No idea. No.
No mother, no father.
No one.
Oh! Oh.
[laughing]
That's Elmer.
He's got a kind of
medieval attitude to women.
- Mm-hmm.
- [grunting]
[Dennis]
He's nuts!
He's not nuts.
He's actually very clever.
Oh, yeah? Well, there's
clever and there's clever,
isn't there?
Can you stick this in?
There's Jack's kind
of clever, where you do
very well at school,
ended up sleeping
in a room with mattresses
stacked up the wall.
And then there's
my kind of clever,
where you don't do so well
at school, but you end up
running your own business.
Hmph. Doing pretty well
at the moment, aren't you?
Can you grate
some cheese for me?
[sighs]
Don't know why you don't
pay someone to help you.
'Cause I can't
bloody afford it,
that's why.
Don't you swear at me, Dennis.
[laughing]
I could, uh,
I could shut the hatch.
Don't you think
about anything else?
Oh, I'm just
a healthy bloke with normal,
healthy appetites. Eh?
And I've got animals waiting.
You, uh--
You fancy a nibble
before you go? Hmm?
- Dennis!
- Hey, Eileen.
Hey, Eileen.
I was just kidding.
Excuse me.
Hello.
I was wondering
if you could help me.
Yeah, sure.
What do you fancy?
[chuckles]
You know Jack Brown?
[laughing]
Do I know Jack Brown?
[laughing]
I'm his sister, Judith.
I've just flown in
from Melbourne.
Sister, eh?
I didn't know
he had a sister.
We were separated at birth.
And I have some sad news.
Our mother's just passed away.
Really? He'll be
sorry to hear that.
Yes.
So I need to find him.
Uh, yeah, well,
fact is, uh,
Jack's out of circulation.
Whoo!
Toys in the attic?
I'm sor--
He, uh...
He's having
a bit of a spell
on the old funny farm.
Oh.
Oh!
[laughs]
Oh!
Ahh. Whoops.
Every day...
we sail out and fight
the Battle of Trafalgar.
We always win.
And at night, we sail
back into Portsmouth.
And there's
this incredible blonde
with her titties sticking
right out over the top.
Lovely, Arnold.
Thank you. Sit down.
[blowing raspberries]
Jack, perhaps you'd like
to tell us about your wings.
I believe they're
to keep Elmer happy.
[birds cooing]
[cat meowing]
[cockatoo chattering]
[whistles]
[Jack's voice]
Dear Eileen:
Thanks for coming to see me,
and thanks for being a friend.
Love, Jack.
Jack, with anybody else,
I'd just tell them the usual.
You know,
negative-hater complex,
that sort of stuff.
But you're up for the play.
You can grasp the concept.
This fictional father figure
is in fact nothing more
than an invented alter ego.
It's the fulfillment of a wish.
For the parents you never had.
[patients chanting]
You don't exist,
you don't exist.
Get out of my head.
You don't exist.
You don't exist,
you don't exist.
Get out of my head.
You don't exist.
- You don't exist...
- You're a fictitious
father figure.
A figment of my imagination.
[Elmer]
Shut thy potato trap,
quarrel picker.
Keep thy breath
to cool porridge!
Oh, yeah?
Well, a little more therapy,
a little more Prozac,
you'll be history.
[Elmer]
Ignorant lick spittle!
I already be history!
- Ooh!
- [Elmer grunts]
Ah! No!
Stop that, please!
[Elmer]
I be real!
- [Elmer grunts]
- [Jack groans]
Recant, ye bottle-headed
cockscomb,
or I shall make thee
whopper-eyed for all time!
You bastard!
[Elmer]
Jack, you can apologize
to me right now.
There's two things
I won't tolerate.
One's taking
the Lord's name in vain,
and the other's
being called a bastard.
You young whippersnappers
might think it's smart to cheat
like that, but I don't.
Never have, never will.
And I'm quite happy
to talk all night
if it'll put
a civil tongue in your head.
- [Jack moans]
- [Elmer continues ranting]
- [Jack screams]
- [screaming]
[Jack, Elmer jabbering, yelling]
[groans, spits]
- [squeak toy squeaking]
- [bike horn tooting]
[moaning]
[tooting]
Elmer?
Elmer?
Yes!
I looked at him,
and I said, "Kenneth,
- you've got to get
a grip on yourself.
- He's gone!
'Cause if you don't,
then that girl's gonna
get a grip on you."
Elmer. He's gone.
[mimics whooshing sound]
- 'Cause I've seen her--
- Jack!
Come here.
Jack, Jack, calm down.
Just look at me.
It's me.
Now, where is
the power amplifier?
I haven't got it.
Liar.
[screaming]
[raspberries]
[female patient singing]
No.
[panting]
[screaming]
Jeez!
[screaming]
[male singer]
We looked into infinity
Joined constellations
way up above
The sky stretched out
like sequined velvet
The air was close
Wide open doors
start to swing
[bird cawing]
And I tasted the salt
I could hear the sea
if I listened hard
[yelling]
It's like
swimming upstream
And I could hear the sea
if I listened hard
I'm the only one
on this island
[Elmer groaning]
- Elmer?
- [groaning]
Elmer.
[Elmer]
Huh?
I know how to do it.
[grunts]
[dogs barking]
- Jack.
- Eileen.
What are you doing here?
I can do it.
I know how to fly
with this.
Ah. I got jammed up
trying to get enough thrust
to overcome drag.
But then there was this magpie
and some seagulls.
Showed me the way.
I landed and I figured it out.
You see, with this?
Whoosh! I'm off.
Oh, Jack...
Don't do that.
Please.
I'm not mad.
Just give me five days, okay?
That's all I need.
Okay.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
[Elmer]
Careful, Jack.
She be a cunning piece
of laced mutton.
And thank you for the card.
Gobsmacking!
[Elmer]
No!
[Elmer]
There'll be no surer way
to catch the pox!
[grunting]
[gasping]
Jack?
Jack!
Jack!
Hey! Jack! Jack!
Hey! Eileen!
Eileen!
Jack!
[gasps]
Elmer.
Elmer! Stop it!
What are you doing to me?
You're supposed to be
in my head.
[Elmer]
That not be me, boy!
Jack, sanctuary.
Ask them for sanctuary.
[Elmer]
That be you, Jack.
See? 'Tis your destiny
to fly.
[monk]
You are the divine
reincarnation of Saint Kaspar,
and we, the last of the brothers
of the Order of Saint Kaspar,
are your humble servants
in your quest for flight.
I visited Jack up at the asylum.
It was most peculiar.
He stole something off me.
A cassette deck.
I was playing
our mother's dying words,
and he snatched it
off me and ran away.
Now I don't know
where he is. Do you?
Maybe I don't.
Maybe I do.
A simple swap.
He need never know.
I'd compensate you, of course.
A thousand?
Yeah. Yeah, sure.
A thousand would be fine.
Half now,
half on delivery.
We've only got two days.
Can they build it in time?
Yes, fine.
[tires screeching]
[door slamming]
Dennis.
Only had another week to go.
You seen Jack?
Lucky I'm a quick mender.
Good as new.
Dennis, have you seen Jack?
Not exactly.
He rang me...
to tell me he couldn't
see me for a while.
He's joined the monastery.
[laughing]
Reckons he's gonna
fly off the roof.
Friday.
Oh.
Eileen...
I love you, Eileen.
Let's get married.
Now.
We could do it at the weekend.
All you have to do is say yes.
Just say yes.
It's all you have to do.
[Jack]
Amplified wind controls?
[abbot]
Working.
Steering system?
[monk #1]
Ready.
Tail feathers?
[monk #2]
Working!
Dihedral control.
Power amplifier ready.
Our work is done.
[cheering]
- To us.
- To us!
[chattering, laughing]
Come, Jack.
Sluice thy gob.
I be yearning for a good tipple.
[snoring]
Eileen!
The door was unlocked.
Eversby Furness killed himself.
Al-Jafiri. Wooden wings.
Dropped like a stone.
Cleem Son, Lou Valentine.
They all died.
Look, I know you're not mad.
But you're crazy if you
think you can fly.
Please? Don't do it.
Look.
With this,
any move I make, it's amplified
and transmitted
right through the wingspan.
See?
- [beep]
- I can open them...
operate them...
and close them again...
when I land.
I'm gonna fly, Eileen.
I'm gonna prove
that it can be done.
I better go.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Good luck.
[sighing]
[speaking Chinese]
Mr. Chan says he enjoy
doing business with you.
Better than man with no hair.
Tell Mr. Chan...
he drives a hard bargain.
[speaking Chinese]
Mr. Chan
wishes to know,
when can he have delivery
of tape recorder machine?
Tell him...
tomorrow.
[speaking Chinese]
Thank you.
We have but two turns of
the hourglass till dawn, Jack.
Don't panic, Elmer.
Everything's under control.
[Jack]
Very slowly.
[Jack]
Easy. Right.
[chattering]
[Jack]
Brother, tug the rope
with a twist.
Cheers, Jack.
[grunts]
[chuckles]
[chuckles]
Cheers, dickhead!
[grunting]
[laughing]
[seagulls cawing]
[groaning]
[car engine starting]
Oh, sh--
Shit!
[groans]
Eileen.
Oh. Hi.
I had to come see, um...
Yeah. Yeah, me, too.
[chuckles]
Slept in the van.
Uh, I, uh--
I thought we'd keep
the reception quite small.
You know?
Dennis...
we have to talk. I--
[creaking]
Jesus!
Hey, uh...
if you're not happy
with the Registry Office,
it's not too late to find
a little church somewhere.
You know, if you'd rather.
Dennis...
[Dennis]
What's he doing
with that tape recorder?
It's not a tape recorder.
That's the power amplifier.
Makes the whole thing work.
Shit!
Hey!
- Move out of the way!
- [clamoring]
Once we fly
to the top of the sky,
the pearly gates
will appear before me,
and Saint Peter will
lead me to my Lord God.
[woman chattering]
- [woman shouts]
- [Dennis grunts]
[pugs yelping]
This is a great day.
[laughs]
Jack!
Jack, stop!
Don't do it!
No! No, it won't fly!
Yes, it will, Dennis.
No!
[gasping]
[grunting]
Elmer!
[Elmer]
Pray, Jack!
- Elmer!
- Faith is our only hope!
Jack!
[Jack]
Help!
[Eileen]
Jack!
Jack!
A false prophet, brothers.
We shall not mourn him.
[moaning]
Jack?
[groaning]
Jack?
[groans]
Jack.
[grunting]
[seagulls cawing]
Oh...
[murmuring]
[sighs]
I'm selling the van.
Jack... you're gonna have
the best funeral money can buy.
[sobs]
Mahogany casket.
Flowers.
Catering.
The bloody works.
[crying]
Come on.
I want to say goodbye.
I love you, Jack.
Where the hell is it?
Looking for this?
[laughing]
[both grunting]
Don't!
[gulps]
Oh...
Little bitch.
Put your seatbelt on.
[MacGreenberg]
The power amplifier's
useless without the key.
I'll have to make her vomit.
[Sylvia]
No, we'll just
cut her open.
Oh, Jesus.
Needs must
when the devil drives.
[cricket match
broadcaster talking]
[groaning]
[Elmer]
Jack?
Jack!
The carrion hunter
hath come for us!
[praying]
Jack!
[Elmer]
I be not ready
for the eternity box!
Oh, Jack!
[whirring]
[grunting]
[grunting]
[Elmer]
Jack!
No!
[MacGreenberg]
This is never gonna work.
[Sylvia]
Shut up and leave
the talking to me.
Let's not waste time,
Mr. Chan.
Here's your power amplifier.
[speaking Chinese]
Mr. Chan say,
"Thank you.
Thank you again."
My pleasure.
You're a bloody genius!
I know.
Did you see him
checking for the scratches?
The key had him fooled, too.
Oh.
[heavy breathing]
[muffled talking]
[muffled scream]
[whimpering]
She's just a wee lassie.
Right there.
- Do it.
- [muffled whimpering]
[muffled gasp]
I can't.
[muffled sigh of relief]
You are such a big softie.
You're such a Jell-o man.
[laughs, moans]
Oh...
- [squishing sound]
- [MacGreenberg grunts]
I always wondered
if they'd touch.
[muffled screams, shouts]
Oh. You'd like
to scream, would you?
[muffled whimpering]
[gasping]
[spitting]
[Sylvia]
Hey!
Stop!
Come here, you bitch!
[yelling, grunting]
Ah! Oh!
[grunting]
[shrieking]
[panting]
Eileen!
Jack?
Eileen.
Jack!
[chuckling]
Jack, what are you doing?
[screaming]
[screaming]
We're flying, Elmer!
We're flying!
[Elmer]
It's a triumph.
- Of science.
- And faith.
Four and a half.
Can't be fairer than that.
[crash]
On second thoughts...
I might just hang onto it
for a bit longer.
[whoops]
- [Jack whoops]
- [laughing]
[Elmer]
Ready thyself, Jack.
Ready, Elmer.
God be with you, Jack.
Godspeed, Elmer.
Up with the gulls and fast
returning through the blue
I've got a bird's-eye view
and I'm looking down on you
I'm coming down
I'm coming down
If you would open up
your eyes you'd only see
I wouldn't fall
if you were holding onto me
I'm holding on
I'm holding on
This is no ordinary life
Extraordinary life
This is no ordinary life
It's a breeze
Extraordinary life
The sun is on my back
as I throw my shadow down
I watch it growing up
as I approach the ground
I'm coming down
I'm coming down
This is no ordinary life
Extraordinary life
This is no ordinary life
Extraordinary life
This is no ordinary life
This is no ordinary life
It's a breeze
Extraordinary life
Extraordinary life
Closed-captions by CAPTION FILES
[owl hooting]
[snoring]
[snoring]
Kaspar?
Huh?
- Master...
- Hush, boy.
Thou wilt waken the others.
Tread softly.
We must hasten, Kaspar.
The sun is nearly upon us.
[Kaspar]
Whence thou fly heavenward and
reacheth thouest devout Father,
wilt thou advise the Lord God
of my eternal devotion to him?
I shall indeed, Kaspar.
I shall indeed.
Master, wilt thou confirm
that the Lord God's beard
reaches his midriff?
I shall see it
with mine own eyes, Kaspar.
Okay.
'Tis a high perch, Master.
Aye. I shall take to the air
like a mighty kestrel.
Master,
whence will thou be back?
At the setting
of the sun, Kaspar.
In time for vespers.
I will be waitin', Master.
Good lad. Oh, and bring
with thee a flagon of fine ale.
Indeed, Master.
[grunting]
Farewell, Kaspar!
Godspeed, Master!
[seagulls cawing]
[speaking Latin]
[speaking Latin]
[screaming]
[crash]
Oh...
[grunting]
Oh, Master. Master.
Thou hast committed self-murder.
Nay, Kaspar.
Thy soul is doomed
to a thousand years
in Purgatory.
Nay, Kaspar.
I... will... fly!
[groans]
[shrieks, gasps]
[praying in Latin]
[shrieks, prays in Latin]
[continues in Latin]
Merciful Father,
take thy child, Elmer,
into the bosom
of thy forgiveness.
[screaming, whimpering]
[rumbling]
Hi, and it's another great day
here in the capital city
here on Pirate Radio.
It's not quite so warm today.
Expecting a high of about 36.
Well, we all celebrate
Wellington's great win
over Auckland
at the cricket once again.
When will those guys learn...
Up with the gulls and fast
returning through the blue
I've got a bird's-eye view
and I'm looking down on you
I'm coming down
I'm coming down
If you would open up
your eyes you'd only see
I wouldn't fall
if you were holding onto me
I'm holding on
I'm holding on
This is no ordinary life
Extraordinary life
This is no ordinary life
It's a breeze
Extraordinary life
The sun is on my back
as I throw my shadow down
I watch it growing up
as I approach the ground
I'm coming down
I'm coming down
This is no ordinary life
Extraordinary life
This is no ordinary life
It's a breeze
Right now, Jack.
All set?
Uh...
This is no ordinary life
Extraordinary life
This is no ordinary life
Extraordinary life
This is no ordinary life
Come on, Jack.
This is no ordinary life
Excuse me, girls.
Good morning.
It's a breeze
Extraordinary life
Here we go.
That's us.
Mr. Chan, we are incredibly
proud of our research.
We've been working on this
for the last two years,
and our team has
perfected this model.
It is completely
energy efficient.
Right. Now, when
we're meeting them,
I want you to bow.
Like this. And don't
look 'em in the eye.
They don't like it. Come on.
Get 'em on, get 'em on.
In fact, this generates
enough power
to supply 60 domestic homes.
We've had one running
for a while now.
[Mr. Chan
speaking Chinese]
Mr. Chan
say thank you,
but he must have
one thousand time
the energy of such a device
to drive his steel mills.
You know, Jack,
there are those in life
who sniff arses...
and those who have
their arses sniffed.
[elevator bell dings]
This is-- Oh!
I'm completely confident that--
Good morning.
Alan MacGreenberg,
Am-Fac Industries.
Picture, if you will,
the entire population
of Hong Kong
going to work on these.
Allow me to introduce you
to Am-Fac's top man,
Jack Brown,
and the prototype
of his latest invention,
the Bigger Strides.
[grunting]
[grunting]
Revolutionary.
One small step for Am-Fac,
one giant leap for mankind.
Nature's energy
harnessed for all.
[speaking Chinese]
Mr. Chan would like to know,
what is the tape recorder?
Jack?
It's the power amplifier.
Works the hydraulics.
You see, you can decrease
or increase the power
like this.
[screaming]
[woman]
Oh, my gosh!
[sighs]
[screaming, shouting]
[screaming, shouting continue]
[grunting]
You bloody idiot!
You've stuffed
the Bigger Strides.
I don't believe it.
My big break ruined!
What a bloody disaster.
Alan Ian Donald
Lawrence MacGreenberg?
Yes.
[door slamming]
No.
Bloody tax department.
They're shutting me down.
Bastards!
My empire.
Finished.
[sighs]
When I first came
to this town,
I only had one shoe.
And that's all
I'll have when I leave.
[phone chirping]
Tell 'em I'm uncontactable.
[chirping]
- Hello.
- I'm not here.
I've left town.
This is Miss Wong,
calling on behalf of Mr. Chan.
- I'm sorry, Miss Wong--
- Good morning.
Am-Fac Industries,
Allan MacGreenberg speaking.
Mr. Chan was most impressed
by your demonstration.
Mr. Chan say this machine
could be what he looking for.
[speaking Chinese]
Mr. Chan say he can
purchase your machine
if proper demonstration
successful.
Mr. Chan has one hour free.
Thursday, six o'clock.
Fine. Perfect.
Thank you.
Thank you.
No, thank you. Thank you.
Sayonara, Miss Wong.
Konichiwa.
- Three days?
- Fix 'em!
[sighs]
I'll need cadmium bolts,
new pistons,
Kevlar, gerelium sheet,
titanium.
I've got to replace
the superconductors
in the power amplifier.
Boss... Boss, that's
at least eight grand.
Mmm...
Am-Fac are gonna be
a major partner
in revolutionizing
the Hong Kong transport system.
I feel tension.
Ah, the Bigger Strides.
Bloody triumph
of Kiwi ingenuity.
You shouldn't swear so much.
- I don't do it
in front of strangers.
- You shouldn't do it at all.
I hope you
didn't wear that tie
to meet with Mr. Chan.
Hmm?
The silk Yves Saint-Laurent
would have been more suitable.
Mmm. I'm gonna
make a fortune.
Tourists. They could walk
the Milford track in 20 minutes.
I'm gonna get listed
on the stock market.
I'll be floating some shares.
There's a killing
to be made by somebody.
Somebody will make
a wee fortune,
if they've got
the courage to invest.
Do friends get first...
bite of the cherry?
What are friends for?
How much?
Ten thousand.
Maximum five years.
Guaranteed 30 percent
over your original
investment per annum.
And your money back at the end.
[rumbling]
Shit!
Come on.
We'll be safe in bed.
We can seal the deal.
Direct Drive, Pseudo Byte,
Seminuclear Physics Monthly
and Hang Gliding For Fun and--
[rumbling]
What?
Oh, God!
Shit!
[grunts]
Oh...
[shrieks, whimpers]
- [Jack whimpers]
- [bookstore woman shrieks]
[screaming, panting]
[grunting, panting]
[screaming]
[Jack]
Dennis?
Dennis!
[panting]
Dennis!
- Dennis!
- [knocking]
Can't you see
I'm closed? Jack!
- [panting]
- What happened, mate?
- It's my eye.
- Eh? Who hit you?
- I don't know.
- Come on.
Better get something on that.
You'll have a face like
a pug's ass in the morning.
Here you go, mate.
- On the house.
- Thanks, Dennis.
- Yoo-hoo!
- Oop. Hey.
Hi, hon.
- Hi, Jack.
- Hi.
Trying to see how they
get the stick inside?
- He's been hit.
- I'm not surprised.
Come on. We're late.
Eileen's got tickets
to the Russian ballet.
Oh.
[belches, groans]
- See you, Dennis.
- Eh?
- You all right? No probs?
- Yeah. No.
Um, uh...
[retching]
[coughing, retching]
[Dennis]
There you go, mate.
[sighs]
Thanks.
No worries.
Come around in the morning.
[Eileen]
Do you think it would
be possible just once
for us to have a night out
without Jack messing it up?
He's my mate.
He hasn't got
anyone else.
When we go to the pictures,
he sits between us.
Go for a drive,
he talks nonstop.
We go for dinner, he tags along.
And these are
my best suede shoes!
[breathing heavily]
[screaming]
[gasps]
Ah! Ah. No, no!
[shrieking]
[car horn plays tune]
Yo! Mate!
Didn't know you
to do tai chi.
[inhales]
Hello, Dennis.
Great day for it.
Your eye okay?
[mock retching]
[laughing]
We, uh, we missed
the show last night.
Eileen was, uh--
Eileen was pretty ticked.
Listen, mate...
me and Eileen,
we gotta spend
more time alone.
Together.
I won't be able to see you
for a month or two.
I won't need a lift.
I'm not going to work today.
[laughing]
That's great, eh?
I knew you'd understand.
Well... see you
around sometime.
[laughing]
[car horn plays tune]
[Elmer speaking Latin]
[thinking]
Hmm?
[speaking Latin]
[thinking]
Who are you?
[Elmer]
I be Elmer of Malmesbury.
I'm in your knowledge box, Jack.
[thinking]
Knowledge box?
I stand falsely accused
of self-murder.
You have 30 sunrises
to save my immortal soul.
[thinking]
Thirty sunrises.
Thirty sunrises, Jack.
You must fly me to heaven
and prove my innocence,
or I shall spend all eternity
in the steaming bowels of Hell.
- Understand, boy?
- Yes.
Four spans of heavy twill.
Four sacks of feathers.
[Elmer]
And not chicken feathers.
That's the mistake
young Kaspar made.
Everyone knows
chickens can't fly!
Cheers, mate.
[ringing]
[Jack on answering machine]
I'm out.
- [beep]
- Jack, where the hell are you?
The stuff's all here.
It's cost me an arm and a leg.
Get your ass here right now!
Don't you bloody
let me down now!
Jack? Jack!
[Elmer]
'Tis a fine job
we've done, Jack.
My new design.
Twice the feathers
and half the weight.
Now...
find thee a watchtower.
There, Clarence, all better.
Come with me. Oh, shh.
[car horn plays tune]
[dogs barking, howling]
- Hi.
- Hi.
I, uh, still feel bad
about last night.
Oh, Dennis, no.
You know--
You know how we said
we shouldn't sleep
with each other
until we had
a committed relationship,
and I agreed?
Oh, Dennis.
I wanna sleep with you, Eileen.
Oh! [giggles]
[Elmer]
'Tis a fine high perch.
I shall take to the air
like a mighty kestrel.
[dogs barking]
[Dennis moans]
My place.
[Elmer]
Come on, now, Jack.
Keep thy peepers heavenward.
One step at a time, boy.
[grunting]
Jesus!
Jack? Jack! What the hell
do you think you're doing?
We're gonna fly!
- What?
- Fly?
- Don't be so bloody stupid!
- Dennis, do something.
It's all right!
These are duck feathers!
- What?
- Dennis, do something!
Jack, don't do it, mate!
Keep your eyes on me!
[Elmer]
Ready thyself
for a puff of wind.
[Dennis]
Step down off the rail!
Just gently step down!
I didn't mean what I said
this morning! We're mates!
We'll always be mates!
Eileen and me, we're here!
We can talk about it!
[Elmer]
Look to the heavens
and bend thy knees!
Stretch thine arms
to full height!
Don't do it, Jack!
Jump.
[Eileen]
Jack!
[Elmer speaking Latin]
[Jack, Dennis grunt]
[grunting]
Dennis?
Dennis?
[bell dings]
Dennis!
Just what did you
think you were doing?
I don't know.
[panting]
Jack!
What?
[Elmer]
Waste not a single minute.
Back up the tower.
Quick, boy, we jump again.
Thou must kick
thy pins out higher!
- Oh.
- What's going on?
I'm jumping off the tower again.
See you, Dennis.
- Eh?
- Jack!
All we have to do
is kick our pins out higher.
[sighs]
Jack, wait!
[Elmer]
Hasten, boy.
The wagtail hath you
in her sights!
Jack, are you out of your mind?
[grunting]
Break her clutches, lad.
[Elmer]
Flee!
[grunting]
Oh!
[grunting]
Help me.
Please. Help me.
Make haste, boy.
Let us be gone!
Get out!
Leave me alone.
- Obey me, boy!
- No!
What the hell were you doing?
I'm not feeling too good.
Mr. Chan's gonna be here
in two days.
So get to work, finish
the bloody Bigger Strides,
and don't even think about
leaving till you have.
I was soaring heavenward
to the roof of the sky
to visit my Lord God...
Come on.
Pull your finger out.
when a small error in my feather
cloak caused me to plummet.
Do you know how much
that stuff costs?
I was doomed
to a thousand years
in Purgatory,
falsely accused of self-murder.
Jesus wept!
What the hell are you doing?
Concern thee not
with lowly matters,
for we have an unfinished
task before us.
[Alan]
Can you work
any faster?
If I do not fly before
the thousand years is up,
I suffer in hell
for all eternity!
You're choked
on the way, sunbeam!
[Elmer]
Only thee can save
my immortal soul!
Shut up!
Thou canst not silence me, Jack.
Thy brain pan is
my permanent place of abode.
La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la
La la la la la la la
la la la la la la la
La la la la la la
la la la la la la la
- [loud rock]
- [Elmer continues vocalizing]
La la la la la
- [loud rock]
- [Elmer continues vocalizing]
[rock volume increases]
La la la la la la
- [loud rock continues]
- [Elmer continues]
La la la
[Elmer]
Now, young shaver,
you do as I bid.
[heavy breathing]
I've been
looking forward to this.
Me, too.
No, no, no.
I'll do it.
I'll do it.
Sorry, sorry.
I'm sorry.
It's all right.
Push your shoulders back a bit.
- [stifled laugh]
- Fuck it!
I'm sorry.
Welcome to Am-Fac.
[Elmer]
I hath great doubt that
these spring-heeled sandals
will get us
off the ground, Jack.
And if they don't,
you will truly
suffer the consequences.
[grunts]
Oh!
Oh-ho!
Well, I'll be bum-swizzled.
[clears throat, laughs]
Uh, a glass of sake?
Uh, some, uh--
Some raw fish?
- Uh, Mr. Chan
has not much time.
- Ah.
[clears throat]
Well, uh, come through.
Come through.
Come through.
All right, Old Jack.
[speaking Chinese]
Mr. Chan wishes to know
about tape recorder machine.
This.
Um, it amplifies power.
[speaking Chinese]
[speaking Chinese]
Mr. Chan wishes to know
could power amplify
connected to wind turbine,
drive steel mill?
Sure. Yeah. Drive dozens,
depending on the configuration.
[speaking Chinese]
[speaking Chinese]
Mr. Chan says he will buy
tape recorder machine.
He will pay you $2 million
with all world rights forever.
Two-- Two--
Excellent.
[clears throat]
Well, done, Jack.
My spring-heeled sandals
are not for barter!
Two million U.S. dollars.
Real money.
[Elmer]
Judas money, Jack.
[grunting]
Jack, there's $2 million
in that briefcase.
Get the bloody gear off.
[laughing]
- [grunts]
- [groans]
Aah!
[grunts]
You little bastard!
[Elmer]
Flee, Jack!
[MacGreenberg]
You bloody fool!
Uh! Shit!
[Elmer]
Push spring-heels inversely!
[yells]
[gasps, whimpers]
[yelling]
[horn blowing]
[horn blowing]
[whimpering]
Oh!
[passengers murmuring]
Get your bloody hair cut!
[yells, grunts]
[laughs]
Get back!
[Jack yells]
[grunting]
[crashing]
- You bloody yuppie!
- [MacGreenberg grunts]
Wow!
This'll sting a bit.
Do you want to tell me
what's going on?
[Elmer]
Careful, boy.
The wench speaks with
the tongue of a serpent.
I'll be the measure of her!
- Sayeth after me!
- Come on.
Oh, ye art doxy!
Ye craven fustilugs.
Dost thou think
a simple quicksilver
knoweth more than a man
of a thousand years?
Jack?
Dost thou take me
for a chuckleheaded fool?
What on earth
are you talking about?
[grunting]
There's a monk
in my head, Eileen.
Pardon?
[grunting]
He's a medieval tower jumper,
and he wants me to fly.
I see.
Stay here, Jack.
[thunder rumbling]
No, you, uh, you gotta
turn left here.
I'm sorry.
I'm not taking you home.
[psychiatrist]
So, Jack, this monk's
a bit of a nuisance, eh?
He's an evil apothecary, Jack!
Tell him nothing!
His name's Elmer.
Elmer, huh?
Yeah, I can't shut him up.
He's talking to me
all the time.
I think you should spend
a week or two with us, Jack.
Honestly, Jack,
it's for the best.
[whimpering]
[chuckles]
He's well down
the track, isn't he?
[thinking]
Eileen!
[chuckles]
Ah...
So, this is what I get
for my ten thousand?
[moaning]
He's built the prototype.
It's inside one of
his little SanaTechno
tape recorder jobbies.
All the kids have them.
[panting]
[chuckling]
[yelping]
Oh!
[groaning]
- [groaning]
- So...
all we need to do...
is find Jack Brown.
- [sizzling]
- [screaming]
No, no, no.
No, no.
[bike horn tooting]
- No!
- We've done a few tests.
- He's quite extraordinary.
- No!
Phenomenal IQ.
It's off the scale.
The highest I've ever seen.
This flying fetish...
[woman laughing, chattering]
It's very likely
to be some sort of...
defense mechanism.
Manifestation
of his desire to escape.
Bah.
I'm sorry.
I can't be much help
with his family history.
He's a very private person.
- How are you coping?
- Me? I'm fine, thanks.
It can be very stressful
for the other partner.
- We've got a support group.
- Oh, I'm not-- Um, he's--
We're not--
- Oh, I'm sorry. I thought,
since you brought him in.
- No. No, no. Goodness sake, no.
No, he's just a friend.
Well, my fiance Dennis'
friend, actually.
Yes. Oh, uh...
[laughing]
Well, if you do
discover anything...
Of course.
Certainly.
Right.
J.P. equals air density...
deluxe cubic foot.
[sighs]
Look, Elmer, do you
want me to try this or not?
Then we gotta do it my way.
Better science, all right?
[sighs]
V equals speed, feet per second.
Hello?
Hey!
How's the flying going?
I'm not trying to fly, Eileen.
I'd need much bigger wings
than these.
We're just working out
the coefficient
for lift to drag.
We're making
extremely good progress.
In fact, I'd say that
within seven sunrises
we'll be
well and truly airborne.
- Oh.
- [chuckling]
- Let them help you, Jack.
- Oh, I do.
They give me
as much work here as I want.
Dr. Gillies was asking
about your past.
There you go.
My entire family history.
Uh, I... give up, Jack.
Oh.
I was abandoned as a baby,
and that was pinned to my nappy.
So, you've...
[sighs]
No idea. No.
No mother, no father.
No one.
Oh! Oh.
[laughing]
That's Elmer.
He's got a kind of
medieval attitude to women.
- Mm-hmm.
- [grunting]
[Dennis]
He's nuts!
He's not nuts.
He's actually very clever.
Oh, yeah? Well, there's
clever and there's clever,
isn't there?
Can you stick this in?
There's Jack's kind
of clever, where you do
very well at school,
ended up sleeping
in a room with mattresses
stacked up the wall.
And then there's
my kind of clever,
where you don't do so well
at school, but you end up
running your own business.
Hmph. Doing pretty well
at the moment, aren't you?
Can you grate
some cheese for me?
[sighs]
Don't know why you don't
pay someone to help you.
'Cause I can't
bloody afford it,
that's why.
Don't you swear at me, Dennis.
[laughing]
I could, uh,
I could shut the hatch.
Don't you think
about anything else?
Oh, I'm just
a healthy bloke with normal,
healthy appetites. Eh?
And I've got animals waiting.
You, uh--
You fancy a nibble
before you go? Hmm?
- Dennis!
- Hey, Eileen.
Hey, Eileen.
I was just kidding.
Excuse me.
Hello.
I was wondering
if you could help me.
Yeah, sure.
What do you fancy?
[chuckles]
You know Jack Brown?
[laughing]
Do I know Jack Brown?
[laughing]
I'm his sister, Judith.
I've just flown in
from Melbourne.
Sister, eh?
I didn't know
he had a sister.
We were separated at birth.
And I have some sad news.
Our mother's just passed away.
Really? He'll be
sorry to hear that.
Yes.
So I need to find him.
Uh, yeah, well,
fact is, uh,
Jack's out of circulation.
Whoo!
Toys in the attic?
I'm sor--
He, uh...
He's having
a bit of a spell
on the old funny farm.
Oh.
Oh!
[laughs]
Oh!
Ahh. Whoops.
Every day...
we sail out and fight
the Battle of Trafalgar.
We always win.
And at night, we sail
back into Portsmouth.
And there's
this incredible blonde
with her titties sticking
right out over the top.
Lovely, Arnold.
Thank you. Sit down.
[blowing raspberries]
Jack, perhaps you'd like
to tell us about your wings.
I believe they're
to keep Elmer happy.
[birds cooing]
[cat meowing]
[cockatoo chattering]
[whistles]
[Jack's voice]
Dear Eileen:
Thanks for coming to see me,
and thanks for being a friend.
Love, Jack.
Jack, with anybody else,
I'd just tell them the usual.
You know,
negative-hater complex,
that sort of stuff.
But you're up for the play.
You can grasp the concept.
This fictional father figure
is in fact nothing more
than an invented alter ego.
It's the fulfillment of a wish.
For the parents you never had.
[patients chanting]
You don't exist,
you don't exist.
Get out of my head.
You don't exist.
You don't exist,
you don't exist.
Get out of my head.
You don't exist.
- You don't exist...
- You're a fictitious
father figure.
A figment of my imagination.
[Elmer]
Shut thy potato trap,
quarrel picker.
Keep thy breath
to cool porridge!
Oh, yeah?
Well, a little more therapy,
a little more Prozac,
you'll be history.
[Elmer]
Ignorant lick spittle!
I already be history!
- Ooh!
- [Elmer grunts]
Ah! No!
Stop that, please!
[Elmer]
I be real!
- [Elmer grunts]
- [Jack groans]
Recant, ye bottle-headed
cockscomb,
or I shall make thee
whopper-eyed for all time!
You bastard!
[Elmer]
Jack, you can apologize
to me right now.
There's two things
I won't tolerate.
One's taking
the Lord's name in vain,
and the other's
being called a bastard.
You young whippersnappers
might think it's smart to cheat
like that, but I don't.
Never have, never will.
And I'm quite happy
to talk all night
if it'll put
a civil tongue in your head.
- [Jack moans]
- [Elmer continues ranting]
- [Jack screams]
- [screaming]
[Jack, Elmer jabbering, yelling]
[groans, spits]
- [squeak toy squeaking]
- [bike horn tooting]
[moaning]
[tooting]
Elmer?
Elmer?
Yes!
I looked at him,
and I said, "Kenneth,
- you've got to get
a grip on yourself.
- He's gone!
'Cause if you don't,
then that girl's gonna
get a grip on you."
Elmer. He's gone.
[mimics whooshing sound]
- 'Cause I've seen her--
- Jack!
Come here.
Jack, Jack, calm down.
Just look at me.
It's me.
Now, where is
the power amplifier?
I haven't got it.
Liar.
[screaming]
[raspberries]
[female patient singing]
No.
[panting]
[screaming]
Jeez!
[screaming]
[male singer]
We looked into infinity
Joined constellations
way up above
The sky stretched out
like sequined velvet
The air was close
Wide open doors
start to swing
[bird cawing]
And I tasted the salt
I could hear the sea
if I listened hard
[yelling]
It's like
swimming upstream
And I could hear the sea
if I listened hard
I'm the only one
on this island
[Elmer groaning]
- Elmer?
- [groaning]
Elmer.
[Elmer]
Huh?
I know how to do it.
[grunts]
[dogs barking]
- Jack.
- Eileen.
What are you doing here?
I can do it.
I know how to fly
with this.
Ah. I got jammed up
trying to get enough thrust
to overcome drag.
But then there was this magpie
and some seagulls.
Showed me the way.
I landed and I figured it out.
You see, with this?
Whoosh! I'm off.
Oh, Jack...
Don't do that.
Please.
I'm not mad.
Just give me five days, okay?
That's all I need.
Okay.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
[Elmer]
Careful, Jack.
She be a cunning piece
of laced mutton.
And thank you for the card.
Gobsmacking!
[Elmer]
No!
[Elmer]
There'll be no surer way
to catch the pox!
[grunting]
[gasping]
Jack?
Jack!
Jack!
Hey! Jack! Jack!
Hey! Eileen!
Eileen!
Jack!
[gasps]
Elmer.
Elmer! Stop it!
What are you doing to me?
You're supposed to be
in my head.
[Elmer]
That not be me, boy!
Jack, sanctuary.
Ask them for sanctuary.
[Elmer]
That be you, Jack.
See? 'Tis your destiny
to fly.
[monk]
You are the divine
reincarnation of Saint Kaspar,
and we, the last of the brothers
of the Order of Saint Kaspar,
are your humble servants
in your quest for flight.
I visited Jack up at the asylum.
It was most peculiar.
He stole something off me.
A cassette deck.
I was playing
our mother's dying words,
and he snatched it
off me and ran away.
Now I don't know
where he is. Do you?
Maybe I don't.
Maybe I do.
A simple swap.
He need never know.
I'd compensate you, of course.
A thousand?
Yeah. Yeah, sure.
A thousand would be fine.
Half now,
half on delivery.
We've only got two days.
Can they build it in time?
Yes, fine.
[tires screeching]
[door slamming]
Dennis.
Only had another week to go.
You seen Jack?
Lucky I'm a quick mender.
Good as new.
Dennis, have you seen Jack?
Not exactly.
He rang me...
to tell me he couldn't
see me for a while.
He's joined the monastery.
[laughing]
Reckons he's gonna
fly off the roof.
Friday.
Oh.
Eileen...
I love you, Eileen.
Let's get married.
Now.
We could do it at the weekend.
All you have to do is say yes.
Just say yes.
It's all you have to do.
[Jack]
Amplified wind controls?
[abbot]
Working.
Steering system?
[monk #1]
Ready.
Tail feathers?
[monk #2]
Working!
Dihedral control.
Power amplifier ready.
Our work is done.
[cheering]
- To us.
- To us!
[chattering, laughing]
Come, Jack.
Sluice thy gob.
I be yearning for a good tipple.
[snoring]
Eileen!
The door was unlocked.
Eversby Furness killed himself.
Al-Jafiri. Wooden wings.
Dropped like a stone.
Cleem Son, Lou Valentine.
They all died.
Look, I know you're not mad.
But you're crazy if you
think you can fly.
Please? Don't do it.
Look.
With this,
any move I make, it's amplified
and transmitted
right through the wingspan.
See?
- [beep]
- I can open them...
operate them...
and close them again...
when I land.
I'm gonna fly, Eileen.
I'm gonna prove
that it can be done.
I better go.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Good luck.
[sighing]
[speaking Chinese]
Mr. Chan says he enjoy
doing business with you.
Better than man with no hair.
Tell Mr. Chan...
he drives a hard bargain.
[speaking Chinese]
Mr. Chan
wishes to know,
when can he have delivery
of tape recorder machine?
Tell him...
tomorrow.
[speaking Chinese]
Thank you.
We have but two turns of
the hourglass till dawn, Jack.
Don't panic, Elmer.
Everything's under control.
[Jack]
Very slowly.
[Jack]
Easy. Right.
[chattering]
[Jack]
Brother, tug the rope
with a twist.
Cheers, Jack.
[grunts]
[chuckles]
[chuckles]
Cheers, dickhead!
[grunting]
[laughing]
[seagulls cawing]
[groaning]
[car engine starting]
Oh, sh--
Shit!
[groans]
Eileen.
Oh. Hi.
I had to come see, um...
Yeah. Yeah, me, too.
[chuckles]
Slept in the van.
Uh, I, uh--
I thought we'd keep
the reception quite small.
You know?
Dennis...
we have to talk. I--
[creaking]
Jesus!
Hey, uh...
if you're not happy
with the Registry Office,
it's not too late to find
a little church somewhere.
You know, if you'd rather.
Dennis...
[Dennis]
What's he doing
with that tape recorder?
It's not a tape recorder.
That's the power amplifier.
Makes the whole thing work.
Shit!
Hey!
- Move out of the way!
- [clamoring]
Once we fly
to the top of the sky,
the pearly gates
will appear before me,
and Saint Peter will
lead me to my Lord God.
[woman chattering]
- [woman shouts]
- [Dennis grunts]
[pugs yelping]
This is a great day.
[laughs]
Jack!
Jack, stop!
Don't do it!
No! No, it won't fly!
Yes, it will, Dennis.
No!
[gasping]
[grunting]
Elmer!
[Elmer]
Pray, Jack!
- Elmer!
- Faith is our only hope!
Jack!
[Jack]
Help!
[Eileen]
Jack!
Jack!
A false prophet, brothers.
We shall not mourn him.
[moaning]
Jack?
[groaning]
Jack?
[groans]
Jack.
[grunting]
[seagulls cawing]
Oh...
[murmuring]
[sighs]
I'm selling the van.
Jack... you're gonna have
the best funeral money can buy.
[sobs]
Mahogany casket.
Flowers.
Catering.
The bloody works.
[crying]
Come on.
I want to say goodbye.
I love you, Jack.
Where the hell is it?
Looking for this?
[laughing]
[both grunting]
Don't!
[gulps]
Oh...
Little bitch.
Put your seatbelt on.
[MacGreenberg]
The power amplifier's
useless without the key.
I'll have to make her vomit.
[Sylvia]
No, we'll just
cut her open.
Oh, Jesus.
Needs must
when the devil drives.
[cricket match
broadcaster talking]
[groaning]
[Elmer]
Jack?
Jack!
The carrion hunter
hath come for us!
[praying]
Jack!
[Elmer]
I be not ready
for the eternity box!
Oh, Jack!
[whirring]
[grunting]
[grunting]
[Elmer]
Jack!
No!
[MacGreenberg]
This is never gonna work.
[Sylvia]
Shut up and leave
the talking to me.
Let's not waste time,
Mr. Chan.
Here's your power amplifier.
[speaking Chinese]
Mr. Chan say,
"Thank you.
Thank you again."
My pleasure.
You're a bloody genius!
I know.
Did you see him
checking for the scratches?
The key had him fooled, too.
Oh.
[heavy breathing]
[muffled talking]
[muffled scream]
[whimpering]
She's just a wee lassie.
Right there.
- Do it.
- [muffled whimpering]
[muffled gasp]
I can't.
[muffled sigh of relief]
You are such a big softie.
You're such a Jell-o man.
[laughs, moans]
Oh...
- [squishing sound]
- [MacGreenberg grunts]
I always wondered
if they'd touch.
[muffled screams, shouts]
Oh. You'd like
to scream, would you?
[muffled whimpering]
[gasping]
[spitting]
[Sylvia]
Hey!
Stop!
Come here, you bitch!
[yelling, grunting]
Ah! Oh!
[grunting]
[shrieking]
[panting]
Eileen!
Jack?
Eileen.
Jack!
[chuckling]
Jack, what are you doing?
[screaming]
[screaming]
We're flying, Elmer!
We're flying!
[Elmer]
It's a triumph.
- Of science.
- And faith.
Four and a half.
Can't be fairer than that.
[crash]
On second thoughts...
I might just hang onto it
for a bit longer.
[whoops]
- [Jack whoops]
- [laughing]
[Elmer]
Ready thyself, Jack.
Ready, Elmer.
God be with you, Jack.
Godspeed, Elmer.
Up with the gulls and fast
returning through the blue
I've got a bird's-eye view
and I'm looking down on you
I'm coming down
I'm coming down
If you would open up
your eyes you'd only see
I wouldn't fall
if you were holding onto me
I'm holding on
I'm holding on
This is no ordinary life
Extraordinary life
This is no ordinary life
It's a breeze
Extraordinary life
The sun is on my back
as I throw my shadow down
I watch it growing up
as I approach the ground
I'm coming down
I'm coming down
This is no ordinary life
Extraordinary life
This is no ordinary life
Extraordinary life
This is no ordinary life
This is no ordinary life
It's a breeze
Extraordinary life
Extraordinary life
Closed-captions by CAPTION FILES