Jackass Shark Week (2021) Movie Script
1
[Johnny]
Jackass 4 is coming out.
And I'm sending the fellas on a
special mission for Shark Week.
Jackass meets Shark Week.
[electric zapping]
Ow! [bleep]
Things are gonna get
downright insane.
[narrator speaking]
[Johnny] Shark Week,
the Jackass guys.
This really seemed like
a perfect marriage,
of like-minded people
coming together.
I told them,
no goofing around this time.
And no silly costumes.
We've got the veterans,
Steve-O, and Chris Pontius,
joined by two rookies,
Jasper, and Poopies.
Aw. That's four peaches
right there.
And they're gonna donate
their bodies to science.
They're a little excitable,
these boys.
[laughs]
Whoo!
Yeah!
Shark Week, the Jackass
guys... What could go wrong?
Aah!
Oh, man, there's a shark!
Holy [bleep].
I mean, what could go right?
[all cheering] Yeah!
Woohoo! Yeah!
I've done a lot of experiments in
my life. This one's the dumbest.
Ol! Aah!
Whoo!
[gargles]
Oh, my God.
Yeah, baby. Shark Week!
Whoo-hoo!
[laughing]
Yeah.
Okay, are we ready?
Hey, fellas. How are you?
You made it.
- Yeah, man.
- Knox!
[Johnny] I'm sending
the fellas to shark school.
[music playing]
[growling]
To show the "dos"
and mostly "don'ts"
of what to do with sharks.
Thought it would be good
to send two of the wild boys
Steve-O and Pontius,
and then two of the new guys,
Poopies and Jasper.
Yeah. For science.
You met that handsome devil,
Craig.
Craig, the sea fox? Oh, yeah.
[laughing]
I don't know what
I got myself into.
My goal is to teach the guys
what to do,
and what not to do
around sharks.
Sharks are so misunderstood.
So I wanna get these guys eye-level
with these particular animals...
teach them to respect
these animals,
and teach them why we
need sharks in the environment.
Chris and I have been swimming
with sharks for so many years.
Just a train wreck. Every time.
[groaning]
Over twenty years ago,
my journey began on MTV,
with a little show
called Jackass.
[Steve-O] The first time
I ever swam with a shark,
I got bit.
Steve-O got bit. Imagine that.
A lot of people would say, "Hey, man.
Maybe I won't swim with sharks anymore."
But not me. No way, Bub.
That was just the start.
Hey, can you scratch my back
right here?
- Up, up.
- Yeah. Hard, hard, hard!
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.
Cool, man. That was sweet.
Aww.
There's a shark in the water.
We better get the hell off this boat.
I actually wanted to be a nature
show host, when I was a little kid.
And so, getting to do
a special on Shark Week...
is a dream come true.
I heard that you believe
in mermaids.
Yeah.
I do, dude. I watched Little
Mermaid, like, my whole childhood.
Like, legit?
I mean... Yeah!
We all got our thing.
They're out there somewhere.
Uh, they just don't like the
cameras. You know, they're shy.
Sometimes you gotta put fear
behind you,
and go straight forward
with science.
It's sharks. You don't know
what they might do.
But it's the best way
to get over your fears,
know what I'm saying? Get right in
the water, and look 'em face to face,
and grab 'em
by the [bleep] nuts.
You could cut
that last part out.
I've been looking up a lot
of videos on the internet,
and I'm gonna send you one right
now, to check out. Here you go.
When Knoxville finds stuff on
the internet, it's all bad news.
Bad for you. Good for me.
[laughing]
[Johnny] Check out this yahoo,
and let me know what you think.
[giggling]
Ooh... Oh, my God.
[laughing]
How does he find these videos?
[laughing]
Hey, can we rewind that?
[Craig] I mean, obviously I don't
need to say anything about that.
It's pure stupidity.
With this guy splashing around,
sharks can sense that.
The more erratic you behave
in the water,
it makes the sharks
a lot more aggressive.
Let's see what this next one is.
Woah! [bleep]
[man] This thing is huge.
A massive shark coming in
right here. Big white shark.
[bleep]
[man]
Look at this thing! [bleep]
Oh, my God.
Aah!
- He's tearing it up!
- Oh, my God.
It's a bull in a china shop.
Yeah, a bull in a china shop.
Bright yellow. It went
for the thing
that had the most contrast
in the water.
Just don't splash around
and be a moron,
and everything will go
nice and smooth.
Going into the water not
looking flashy with these sharks,
is gonna be a tall order.
That's just not our style.
I know. Just don't be erratic.
I'm just going to follow my
instincts, and hope for the best.
Aw, man. I can't wait.
[Craig] All right, guys.
Today, we're swimming
with bull sharks.
Somebody's gotta learn
about 'em,
and unfortunately,
it's gonna be you guys today.
We all know Johnny Knoxville
has a love-hate relationship
with bulls,
and he's asked me to give
the guys a little lesson
about bull sharks.
You mean the experiences
with bulls I can remember?
Sometimes I go nite-nite.
[grunts]
If you try to stop respecting
a bull,
he will get his respect
very quickly, and swiftly.
And continuously.
I don't know much about bull
sharks, but, fingers crossed there.
Are they called bull sharks because
they like to bump you and buck you?
That's how they got
their nickname.
[Craig] They're four hundred
to five hundred pounds,
amped up
with a bunch of testosterone.
They have this really
pugnacious and bold demeanor.
When they get really hyped up,
they come right in,
they charge you.
They bump you...
before they come back around
and attack.
If you act like prey,
they treat you like prey.
And so, if you make a mistake...
[all laughing]
...and flail or splash around
like the idiot in that video,
it could be the last mistake
you ever make.
- Wow.
- Yeah.
[Craig] Just like bulls,
bull sharks are colorblind.
But both bulls and bull sharks
respond to contrast, and also movement.
And that sparks the curiosity in these
bull sharks, and they come right in.
What if you had a costume
that had, like, a bunch of yellow,
and white, and black, and red?
That's an absolute disaster
in the water. Yeah.
[laughing]
I am a trained,
professional matador.
Never, and I mean never...
swim with bull sharks, dressed
in this type of attire at home.
It's just too dangerous.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
I'm gonna be completely honest
with you guys.
I'm speechless
with this whole design.
Just like the yellow bag
in the video,
this yellow is going to attract these
bull sharks like you won't believe.
This bright white shirt? Exactly
what you shouldn't be wearing,
when you're in the water, with one of the
most dangerous predators on the planet.
You know, I'd love to yack it
up with you guys all day long,
but it's fashion week
out there on the open sea.
And I'm ready to strut my
stuff with some bull sharks.
Chris, don't just show them
contrast, show them pizazz.
I am Chris Pontius, the matador.
Ol! Aah!
Crap. My mask.
[laughing]
[muffled] Ol!
Chris! From here it looks like the best
fashion show this ocean's ever seen.
[Jasper] Hopped on Google,
and I searched bull sharks.
They said "don't wear shiny
things or anything yellow."
What's so shiny over there?
Oh! It's Chris!
[laughing]
It's gonna get a little
dangerous out here.
[Steve-O over radio]
[Craig speaking]
They're getting so close
to Pontius right now.
[Poopies] [bleep], Chris.
Holy [bleep]
[Chris speaking]
[excitedly]
[intense music playing]
[Craig continues]
[Craig speaking]
[Chris speaking]
Holy [bleep]
[Steve-O speaking]
[gurgling]
[Johnny] Coming up
on Jackass Shark Week.
-[man 1] Hold onto it.
-[Steve-O] Don't fall. Don't fall.
[Johnny] Things are going
to get a little out of hand.
[all] Yeah!
- [engine whirring]
- [splashing]
[gurgling]
- [splashing]
- [Poopies] Oh, no!
Poopies got bit.
[man] Grasp her
when you're ready.
Oh, [bleep].
[Craig speaking]
[underwater gurgling]
[intense music playing]
[Chris speaking]
[Poopies] Yeah, Pontius.
[Craig speaking]
Uh-oh, here
it goes. Oh, look at.
[Poopies speaking]
[Steve-O speaking]
Ole!
[laughing]
[Poopies] Yeah, Pontius!
[Jasper] Bull fighting
to its finest.
[exciting music playing]
They were totally into me.
They kept coming to me. I was
like, why are they coming to me?
They liked you.
Duh.
Pontius, you
got some balls, bro.
Good, crazy dive.
[Craig] There was so much
going on with the matador suit
that was attracting
the bull sharks.
It was the contrast.
It was the really shiny parts.
It was that cape
that was moving around.
[man screaming]
[Steve-O]
It was all the elements
from the videos Knoxville sent
combined into one.
[laughing]
How'd it go, fellas?
[Craig] I literally told these guys
what not to wear and how not to act
and the second they get in the
water, they do everything wrong.
I don't believe that.
[all chuckling]
Great job, fellas.
Ooh, man. Hotter than
a St. Louis laundromat.
I want some photos
of that. In pronto.
[Johnny] Well, that sounds a little
irresponsible, but check out this video.
[Craig] Oh, yeah, look at this.
A couple people
trying to feed a shark.
[man] Come on.
Spin around, fella.
- [woman screaming]
- [man] Oh!
- Whoa.
- Oh, my gosh.
- [Steve-O] What happened there?
- [Craig] So, it looks like
the shark took her hand,
as well. Not just the bait.
[Johnny] Uh-huh. Yeah. And
sharks bite hard. Look at this.
[Craig] So, this
is a sandbar shark.
That's a good video right there to show
you that they're incredibly powerful fish.
They have serious teeth and
they can do some serious damage.
How do you go about
testing the shark bite?
[Craig] I don't know
if that'd be a good idea.
We're only here for bad ideas.
- Oh, God damn it.
- [all laughing]
Oh, yeah, look at that, man.
We've got sharks
all over the place.
Knoxville really wants us to measure
the impact force of a sandbar shark's bite.
[woman screaming]
And based on the videos
we just saw,
I can't think of a worse idea
that he's ever had.
So, what the hell
are we doing, Craig?
So, this is called
the jaws of life experiment.
[Craig] Sandbar sharks got their
name because they like to hang out
in the murky and sandy
bottoms of the ocean.
They're some of the biggest
coastal sharks in the world,
growing up to six-feet in length
and weighing up to 150 pounds.
But we don't know
their bite or impact force.
They're a super understudied
species, and this gives us an opportunity
to measure the impact force, which is
something that hasn't necessarily been done.
Right here is the dynamometer
or a linear scale.
And we're gonna attach a bunch
of tuna heads to it.
And we wanna measure
the impact force of it.
So we want the shark to come
in hit the bait, shake it's head
And, Jasper, you have the job
of sitting on this tube
and getting the measurement
for us.
I love it. I love it. For safety
we got Jasper on this inner tube.
[laughing]
There's so many big sharks
in the water right now.
Oh, my God. Like, just
coming right on the surface.
[Johnny] Jasper's gonna put
his arse and Barry's on the line.
But I don't know if he's gonna
be able to keep them safe.
As a producer,
I think it's a great idea.
Not that I produced this.
[laughs]
It's not a calm shark,
they're hyper-aggressive.
If it pulls on that bait,
you could fall in the water and if
you fall in the water you splash around,
you're done.
I'm not nervous.
[indistinct conversation]
That's what I'm trying
to tell myself.
[Steve-O] Jasper's a really
nice, successfully kid.
I'm hoping epic music is
playing behind me right now.
Who just got mixed up with the wrong crowd
and now he's doing all this dumb stuff
[Craig] I failed a lot of
experiments in my life.
[man] Yeah, Jasper.
This one's the dumbest.
The scientist said, this is the
dumbest thing he's ever done.
Good luck, Jasper.
[Craig] Just close your eyes,
it will be over soon.
This is not safe at all,
I would never do it,
so I'm happy he's in the tube
getting the measurements for us.
Is your ass in the water?
My ass is fully in the water.
[laughs]
Oh, no. What am I doing?
[Craig] So now we wait, guys.
Sharks a little bit
skittish, right?
You put all those fresh bait, you expect
them to come in and eat but it takes a while.
Water's fine, though!
[all laughing]
[Craig] Oh, big shark coming
in. Right underneath you.
[Chris] Let's see if he bites
the scale.
[Jasper screaming]
[shouting]
Oh, my gosh.
[Craig] They got the scent
of it now, they'll bite soon.
[Jasper screaming]
[people shouting]
[all cheering]
[all cheering]
[Poopies] There he is!
He's down right there.
Oh, no, he's right there.
[all shouting and cheering]
[Jasper screaming]
[Craig] He's got the scent.
He's got the scent.
He bumped the raft with
his tail, what does that mean?
[Craig] They're targeting
this free food.
Free meal. Free calories.
Yeah, free proteins.
Free oils.
It's good for their skin.
[Steve-O] Get the reading,
scientist.
[Craig] They're gonna start
feeding off each other's energy.
They're gonna keep coming now.
Another one's coming in.
Holy [bleep]
- All right. Here we go!
- [Jasper groaning]
[man] No way! No way!
Oh, my God.
They went under his butt.
[all laughing]
Scientifically speaking,
getting credit carded,
is when an object, I don't
know, maybe your bro's hand
goes right down
the cheeks in your bottom.
Right down
[Craig] Keep rein and bait him.
[laughing] There we go.
There we go. There we go.
[Craig] They're starting
to frenzy now.
[Craig] Six of them
around you right now.
They're circling him.
Oh, here he comes.
Here they come!
[Craig] As they get more aggressive,
their bites will get stronger too.
[man] Here we go.
- Oh, he's got it!
- [shouting]
Get him back.
[people shouting]
[man] Hold on to it.
Hold on to it.
[man 2] Don't fall. Don't fall.
This is total chaos.
[man shouting] Oh, he's got it.
[Steve-O] What'd he say?
What was it?
[Craig] What was it?
It's about 90.
[all cheering]
Yeah! 90!
That was incredible!
We did see about
a 90 pound sandbar shark
hit with about 90 pounds
of force,
which is a really
important finding.
It means their hitting with
the equivalence of their weight.
[Chris]
So a shark that weighs more
likely to have substantially
stronger impact force
which hopefully makes
it pretty clear
that hand-feeding sharks
like we saw on that video...
- [woman screaming]
- ...is a very bad idea.
I better see me my God damn science
card or whatever you get for sciences.
Yeah, Jasper!
So, how did it go?
[Jasper]
It was pretty gnarly, like...
I've never been that close to
sharks with just my butt out.
[indistinct shouting]
I got slapped around
a couple of times.
We're all scientists here
just doing what we do.
-Let's never do that again
-[all laughing]
[Johnny] Well, I have
something else for you.
[Craig] Look at this.
Sharks swimming around
a bunch of surfers
[Jasper] I don't know
about that.
[Craig] That's about
a 12-foot great white.
[laughs]
This time I'm curious.
Like, right here, the second
he paddles the shark turns.
Oh, yeah!
[Johnny] Weird it's not
swimming straight for them.
Can sharks smell humans, Craig?
Like if they are not bleeding?
[Craig] It's a good question.
Sharks have an incredibly
good sense of smell,
but it's hard to say if they
can smell us.
[Johnny] But you scientists
better figure it out.
Let's do it.
What the worse
that could happen?
[Chris] Craig,
what are we doing?
We know sharks can smell
one drop of blood
in about a regular-size
swimming pool.
But we don't necessarily know
if they can smell us.
Sharks have an incredible
sense of smell
They're often referred
to as swimming noses.
But the real question is,
can they smell our saliva?
Can they smell our sweat?
Can they smell our urine?
I have absolutely no idea.
But Johnny wants us to find out.
I just started surfing and I'm
not cool if sharks are around.
Poopies, definitely
Two wives
and he thinks he's done.
Steve-O, the goal for you is to work
up the sweat, jump into the water,
and we're gonna see how
the shark responds.
And Poopies over here is gonna
eat the shark's favorite prey.
We got a little bit of tuna,
a little bit of shrimp.
[Steve-O] And we'll see if they can smell
the food as it leaks out of your pores.
If they wanted to eat and they're
attracted to Poopies and Steve-O,
they might express some body
language. Their fins may go straight down
or they may arch their back, or they
maybe swimming a little bit erratically.
That's telling the other sharks,
"Get away, that's my piece of meat."
Let's heat it up. I'm hungry.
If my pheromones drive sharks
nearly as wild as they drive women
then we're gonna get
us some action.
[all cheering]
God damn lunatic.
- All for you, buddy.
- Thank you, Jasper.
[Steve-O] We left that out
in the sun for, like, two days.
Guys, this is [bleep].
Can we get this man some
soy sauce please?
This is what I call
the Poo-Poo platter.
-Wow -[all laughing]
Jasper, you're in danger
of getting puked on, man.
I'm in danger of puking, too.
[gags and retches]
He's really got to get it all
down or else it's not gonna work.
I heard that if you eat the
eyeball, the sharks like that a lot.
- Did it pop?
- It popped.
[belches and retches]
Once it starts secreting from your
skin it's gonna drive the sharks wild.
- In theory.
- Yeah.
[retches]
What do you say
we run this experiment?
Who attracts sharks more?
Passionate sea food lovers
or hardcore gym junkies?
The world's about to find out.
[Steve-O] Oh, no.
[all] Ahh.
[Poopies speaking]
[Steve-O speaking]
[Craig speaking]
You know what? I think I'm
gonna take a look out there.
[Poopies speaking]
[Steve-O speaking]
[Jasper speaking]
Everything just turns sexual
with this group. Huh!
[Poopies speaking]
[Steve-O speaking]
[Poopies speaking]
[Steve-O speaking]
[Craig speaking]
[Steve-O speaking]
[Craig speaking]
[Johnny] Coming up, things
are gonna get a little out of hand.
Throw the kit. Throw the kit.
[Craig speaking]
[Steve-O speaking]
[Chris] That was sick.
Well, it's a completely
interesting experiment.
[Craig]
We got the result I expected.
If these sharks were attracted
to them because of their scent,
they would have went on
to full hunting mode
We're talking about bull sharks.
Hyper-aggressive animals
that are 400 pounds,
and it would have been
a disaster underwater.
[Johnny] All right!
So, tell me, how does
Craig look in a speedo?
[Steve-O] Oh, dude, Amazing!
[all laughing]
[Johnny] Well, I've been
working hard, too.
Check out this video I found of
people trying to run away from sharks.
[Craig] Oh yeah, it's chasing
the stingray. Look at that.
- [Chris] Oh gnarly.
- [Craig] Super agile in the water.
- Damn.
- That's crazy.
I think you're right, Craig.
[Craig] When food's in the
area and they want to hunt
- they go really fast.
- [all] Yeah.
No swimming away from
those sharks.
[Johnny] How fast can sharks go?
So we don't have a lot
of measurements
from different shark species as how
fast they could go, but some sharks
can have bursts of speed of
well over 30 miles per hour.
And the average humans swims
at two miles per hour.
[Johnny] Why don't we put
Poopies on a wakeboard
towing in some bait?
I bet that's faster
You down, Poopies?
- I'm good with it.
- All right, good luck.
- [Craig] You believe in mermaids right?
- Yeah.
You know how mermaids have those
beautiful tails that help them move around?
- Yeah.
- [Craig] Well, that's where
the sharks get
their forward propulsion
they use their massive
muscular tails
as a way to move really
effortlessly through the water.
But we have no idea what the max
speed of these Caribbean reef sharks are.
Poopies, it's time for you to get in
there and do some wakeboarding.
[Chris] Craig, I have a question.
Can we get data while he does that?
- Poopsie. Poopies.
- [all laughing]
I said, "Poopsie."
This is gonna be trailing
right behind the wakeboard.
[Craig] I'm diving under the
water, and if the sharks chase,
I'll track them with my camera
to get data on their speed.
- He is a scientist.
- He is a scientist, dude.
All right, let's do it.
Learning about shark speed
is super important, you know.
I mean, when you think about it,
when people see sharks in the water,
they frantically swim away
thinking
they could out swim these
perfectly hydro-dynamic predators.
If you think you can out swim a
shark, you're absolutely wrong.
It's just a perfect mix,
if you have reef sharks,
speed and Poopies,
your gonna get footage.
So... good luck.
I'm Poopies, I've got
a wave board
and I've got a full size tuna.
This is ride or die.
[music playing]
[Craig speaking]
[Poopies] We got sharks
in the bottom
- [Chris] Meal times over.
- [Steve-O] Oh, yeah.
[bleep]
Game on.
Get the slack out!
- [Poopies speaking]
- [Steve-O laughing]
[Poopies screaming]
[whooping]
[all cheering]
[Poopies] Holy [bleep].
[Craig speaking]
- [Poopies speaking]
- [all cheering]
[Chris] What a great day
for science.
Mother nature chose us
as her mouthpiece.
[all laughing]
I felt the shark taking
the fish from me.
I saw behind me
and I was freaking out.
And then I felt them bite
the fish. It was so sick.
How'd it look down
there, scientist?
Absolutely crazy, I saw you drop of
the boat, there were sharks everywhere.
And the second you started
the gauge, I saw the tuna going
- and the shark followed right behind.
- Oh, my God.
[Craig] Based on the wind speed,
these animals are moving
at 22 miles an hour.
That's 11 times faster than
the average human can swim.
We don't stand a chance.
Craig isn't around,
so it's come to this.
We have now exhausted
every single idea we could
possibly come up with.
The well has run dry.
Poopies,
there's nothing left to do
but jump the shark.
"Jumping the shark" is a term
used in Hollywood
when a show makes
a desperate attempt
to restore
its original popularity
with cheap gimmicks.
Like in Happy Days
when Fonzie jumps the shark.
I happen to think that stunt
was pretty badass,
so now we're gonna
repeat history
with Poopies playing
the role of Fonzie.
Yay.
And sharks playing
the role of sharks.
[laughs] Let's send it.
Gotta land it, Poops.
There's all these fins
in the landing zone.
Be careful, Fonzie.
Poopies!
You got it!
He's on! Yeah!
- Yeah!
- [cheering]
Yeah, Poopies! Oh.
Oh, no. [bleep]
Oh, [bleep].
- Okay, everyone back.
- Get back, get back.
[groaning]
All right, get him up.
Get him up!
Tourniquet. Tourniquet!
Transfer right here,
transfer when you're ready.
Poopies got bit.
Putting a tourniquet on him
right now.
Tourniquet on this [bleep]
in there.
We've got to be ready
to transport him.
- Right behind you.
- Right in here, right in here.
So I need the medical bag
going with me.
- Get it by, get it by!
- We got it.
All right, I want all divers
recalled right now.
I need the phone hanging in.
Get back from here.
This was only one bite
in one spot?
Okay.
And he's not missing anything?
No, no. It's a reminder that...
Yeah, like, we are pushing it
pretty hard.
And this could happen,
of course.
It's either, like, everything's
okay or this happens.
And hopefully it's always
everything's okay, everything's okay.
But then...
You know, this time
it's not okay.
[speaks indistinctly]
He says, "I want a bonus."
So, fellas, how'd this week go?
Poopies got bit real bad, man.
Oh, my God.
- Yeah.
- But he's gonna be all right.
[Chris] Thank God
Poopies is doing great.
They were able to repair
all the damage.
If you're in the daredevil
business, you know,
you expect, and you accept,
like, that some things are gonna
go wrong every once in a while.
[Steve-O] But as long as
Poopies makes a full recovery,
his Bumble account
is gonna be firing.
There's nothing sexier
than a shark scar.
- Nothing.
- Yeah.
[Johnny] What happened?
Yeah!
[Steve-O] Everything
was going great, Knox,
Yeah, Poopies! Oh.
[Steve-O] And then Poopies
decided to cannon ball
into a big pack of sharks.
A lot of slapping going on, so
the sharks were just, you know.
It was
a perfect storm, Knoxville.
So we kinda broke every rule
we talked about.
Yeah.
[Steve-O] Those sharks
were just doing their thing.
We were in their territory,
you know?
So the sharks
were not responsible.
A lot of people,
you know, do crazy things
like this.
And they don't think
there's any consequences.
If you push the limits
with nature,
sometimes nature pushes back.
I'm really grateful
that Poopies only got bitten
on the hand and he's okay.
But at the end of the day,
I think it's really important
for the world to see
that these are wild animals
and we need to respect them.
We've been taking
a lot of chances,
doing a lot of stuff that we're not
supposed to be doing with sharks.
So let's go back in
one last time
and do it the right way.
Just us swimming around
with the sharks.
- Yeah.
- I like the sound of that, let's do that.
All right, guys, be safe, okay?
- Yeah!
- Yeah, we will be.
- For Poopies.
- For Poopies.
[Steve-O] Here we are
at the scene of the crime.
Obviously, none of us
are thrilled about
what happened
to Poopies yesterday.
I'm shaking my head hard
about that.
I know.
Well, guys, you do the right
things around sharks,
they don't pose that much
of a threat.
They're generally very shy.
We're gonna have an amazing dive
with Caribbean reef sharks.
You're gonna see them
for what they really are.
Peaceful. They are predators,
they're not gonna be amped up,
they're not gonna be hyper aggressive.
I'm gonna show you
their environment,
and it's gonna blow your mind.
- Awesome.
- All right.
Look, we're here to settle
some unfinished business.
We're back and we're going
down in the water
to take the high road.
- We wanna go make peace with these sharks.
- That's right.
Not leave a bad taste
in their mouth.
Because trust me, Poopies
tastes bad.
[laughs]
Forgiveness is freedom.
- So we're not mad at these sharks.
- Not at all.
Can't be.
We're not the kind of people
who hold grudges.
So we're gonna go in there,
maybe shake a fin.
Tell them, there's no beef here.
After what happened yesterday,
the last thing I thought
we were gonna do today
is get back in the water
to swim with more sharks.
Yeah. And here we go. [laughs]
This is for you, Poopies. Yeah!
Craig, is everything okay?
[Steve-O] Even though
I've had this weird blind spot
where I felt unaccountable
for my activity around sharks,
I've always had a deep respect
and admiration for them.
And now I respect them
even more.
The boys is hitting the surface.
Chris is here.
Getting to do a special on
Shark Week is a dream come true.
I actually have a great
respect for the power of sharks.
This has been an incredible week
and I did some crazy stuff that I
never thought I'd do in my entire life.
But I think this is
the perfect way to top it off.
Seeing these sharks
for what they really are.
Absolutely beautiful predators.
[Craig] At the end of this
expedition, I think we all learned a lot.
Sharks are very curious
animals, they're very intelligent.
And these sharks are just
swimming around the reef,
being sharks.
To me, that's what
it's all about.
You know, hindsight being 20/20.
I'm not sure if Jackass meets
Shark Week was a good idea.
It was a great idea.
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
[yelling]
Who learned the most
on this trip?
- I didn't learn anything.
- [chuckling]
Oh, my gosh, you guys.
Well...
I definitely got a degree
in Shark College there.
But no disrespect to the sharks,
like, I still love sharks
and it's not their fault
that this happened.
[cheering]
Yeah, Poopies! Oh.
I knew there was a chance
I was gonna get bit by a shark
but I didn't think
it was gonna happen.
No, I don't blame the sharks
at all.
I mean, I was in their living
room, and it was dinner time.
They were just being sharks.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
I'm proud of you,
I'm proud of all of you.
Oh, the boys had a very
successful Shark Week.
And I think Poopies definitely
has a respect
for sharks
he didn't have before.
You need to respect
these animals,
and you need to conserve
these animals,
because if you do,
you're gonna have
a healthy ocean
for many generations to come.
You're a really good scientist,
- by the way, too.
- Thanks.
- We.
- [laughs]
- We're all good scientists.
- We're all scientists now.
And we'll see you
in the theatres for Jackass.
[Johnny]
Jackass 4 is coming out.
And I'm sending the fellas on a
special mission for Shark Week.
Jackass meets Shark Week.
[electric zapping]
Ow! [bleep]
Things are gonna get
downright insane.
[narrator speaking]
[Johnny] Shark Week,
the Jackass guys.
This really seemed like
a perfect marriage,
of like-minded people
coming together.
I told them,
no goofing around this time.
And no silly costumes.
We've got the veterans,
Steve-O, and Chris Pontius,
joined by two rookies,
Jasper, and Poopies.
Aw. That's four peaches
right there.
And they're gonna donate
their bodies to science.
They're a little excitable,
these boys.
[laughs]
Whoo!
Yeah!
Shark Week, the Jackass
guys... What could go wrong?
Aah!
Oh, man, there's a shark!
Holy [bleep].
I mean, what could go right?
[all cheering] Yeah!
Woohoo! Yeah!
I've done a lot of experiments in
my life. This one's the dumbest.
Ol! Aah!
Whoo!
[gargles]
Oh, my God.
Yeah, baby. Shark Week!
Whoo-hoo!
[laughing]
Yeah.
Okay, are we ready?
Hey, fellas. How are you?
You made it.
- Yeah, man.
- Knox!
[Johnny] I'm sending
the fellas to shark school.
[music playing]
[growling]
To show the "dos"
and mostly "don'ts"
of what to do with sharks.
Thought it would be good
to send two of the wild boys
Steve-O and Pontius,
and then two of the new guys,
Poopies and Jasper.
Yeah. For science.
You met that handsome devil,
Craig.
Craig, the sea fox? Oh, yeah.
[laughing]
I don't know what
I got myself into.
My goal is to teach the guys
what to do,
and what not to do
around sharks.
Sharks are so misunderstood.
So I wanna get these guys eye-level
with these particular animals...
teach them to respect
these animals,
and teach them why we
need sharks in the environment.
Chris and I have been swimming
with sharks for so many years.
Just a train wreck. Every time.
[groaning]
Over twenty years ago,
my journey began on MTV,
with a little show
called Jackass.
[Steve-O] The first time
I ever swam with a shark,
I got bit.
Steve-O got bit. Imagine that.
A lot of people would say, "Hey, man.
Maybe I won't swim with sharks anymore."
But not me. No way, Bub.
That was just the start.
Hey, can you scratch my back
right here?
- Up, up.
- Yeah. Hard, hard, hard!
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.
Cool, man. That was sweet.
Aww.
There's a shark in the water.
We better get the hell off this boat.
I actually wanted to be a nature
show host, when I was a little kid.
And so, getting to do
a special on Shark Week...
is a dream come true.
I heard that you believe
in mermaids.
Yeah.
I do, dude. I watched Little
Mermaid, like, my whole childhood.
Like, legit?
I mean... Yeah!
We all got our thing.
They're out there somewhere.
Uh, they just don't like the
cameras. You know, they're shy.
Sometimes you gotta put fear
behind you,
and go straight forward
with science.
It's sharks. You don't know
what they might do.
But it's the best way
to get over your fears,
know what I'm saying? Get right in
the water, and look 'em face to face,
and grab 'em
by the [bleep] nuts.
You could cut
that last part out.
I've been looking up a lot
of videos on the internet,
and I'm gonna send you one right
now, to check out. Here you go.
When Knoxville finds stuff on
the internet, it's all bad news.
Bad for you. Good for me.
[laughing]
[Johnny] Check out this yahoo,
and let me know what you think.
[giggling]
Ooh... Oh, my God.
[laughing]
How does he find these videos?
[laughing]
Hey, can we rewind that?
[Craig] I mean, obviously I don't
need to say anything about that.
It's pure stupidity.
With this guy splashing around,
sharks can sense that.
The more erratic you behave
in the water,
it makes the sharks
a lot more aggressive.
Let's see what this next one is.
Woah! [bleep]
[man] This thing is huge.
A massive shark coming in
right here. Big white shark.
[bleep]
[man]
Look at this thing! [bleep]
Oh, my God.
Aah!
- He's tearing it up!
- Oh, my God.
It's a bull in a china shop.
Yeah, a bull in a china shop.
Bright yellow. It went
for the thing
that had the most contrast
in the water.
Just don't splash around
and be a moron,
and everything will go
nice and smooth.
Going into the water not
looking flashy with these sharks,
is gonna be a tall order.
That's just not our style.
I know. Just don't be erratic.
I'm just going to follow my
instincts, and hope for the best.
Aw, man. I can't wait.
[Craig] All right, guys.
Today, we're swimming
with bull sharks.
Somebody's gotta learn
about 'em,
and unfortunately,
it's gonna be you guys today.
We all know Johnny Knoxville
has a love-hate relationship
with bulls,
and he's asked me to give
the guys a little lesson
about bull sharks.
You mean the experiences
with bulls I can remember?
Sometimes I go nite-nite.
[grunts]
If you try to stop respecting
a bull,
he will get his respect
very quickly, and swiftly.
And continuously.
I don't know much about bull
sharks, but, fingers crossed there.
Are they called bull sharks because
they like to bump you and buck you?
That's how they got
their nickname.
[Craig] They're four hundred
to five hundred pounds,
amped up
with a bunch of testosterone.
They have this really
pugnacious and bold demeanor.
When they get really hyped up,
they come right in,
they charge you.
They bump you...
before they come back around
and attack.
If you act like prey,
they treat you like prey.
And so, if you make a mistake...
[all laughing]
...and flail or splash around
like the idiot in that video,
it could be the last mistake
you ever make.
- Wow.
- Yeah.
[Craig] Just like bulls,
bull sharks are colorblind.
But both bulls and bull sharks
respond to contrast, and also movement.
And that sparks the curiosity in these
bull sharks, and they come right in.
What if you had a costume
that had, like, a bunch of yellow,
and white, and black, and red?
That's an absolute disaster
in the water. Yeah.
[laughing]
I am a trained,
professional matador.
Never, and I mean never...
swim with bull sharks, dressed
in this type of attire at home.
It's just too dangerous.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
I'm gonna be completely honest
with you guys.
I'm speechless
with this whole design.
Just like the yellow bag
in the video,
this yellow is going to attract these
bull sharks like you won't believe.
This bright white shirt? Exactly
what you shouldn't be wearing,
when you're in the water, with one of the
most dangerous predators on the planet.
You know, I'd love to yack it
up with you guys all day long,
but it's fashion week
out there on the open sea.
And I'm ready to strut my
stuff with some bull sharks.
Chris, don't just show them
contrast, show them pizazz.
I am Chris Pontius, the matador.
Ol! Aah!
Crap. My mask.
[laughing]
[muffled] Ol!
Chris! From here it looks like the best
fashion show this ocean's ever seen.
[Jasper] Hopped on Google,
and I searched bull sharks.
They said "don't wear shiny
things or anything yellow."
What's so shiny over there?
Oh! It's Chris!
[laughing]
It's gonna get a little
dangerous out here.
[Steve-O over radio]
[Craig speaking]
They're getting so close
to Pontius right now.
[Poopies] [bleep], Chris.
Holy [bleep]
[Chris speaking]
[excitedly]
[intense music playing]
[Craig continues]
[Craig speaking]
[Chris speaking]
Holy [bleep]
[Steve-O speaking]
[gurgling]
[Johnny] Coming up
on Jackass Shark Week.
-[man 1] Hold onto it.
-[Steve-O] Don't fall. Don't fall.
[Johnny] Things are going
to get a little out of hand.
[all] Yeah!
- [engine whirring]
- [splashing]
[gurgling]
- [splashing]
- [Poopies] Oh, no!
Poopies got bit.
[man] Grasp her
when you're ready.
Oh, [bleep].
[Craig speaking]
[underwater gurgling]
[intense music playing]
[Chris speaking]
[Poopies] Yeah, Pontius.
[Craig speaking]
Uh-oh, here
it goes. Oh, look at.
[Poopies speaking]
[Steve-O speaking]
Ole!
[laughing]
[Poopies] Yeah, Pontius!
[Jasper] Bull fighting
to its finest.
[exciting music playing]
They were totally into me.
They kept coming to me. I was
like, why are they coming to me?
They liked you.
Duh.
Pontius, you
got some balls, bro.
Good, crazy dive.
[Craig] There was so much
going on with the matador suit
that was attracting
the bull sharks.
It was the contrast.
It was the really shiny parts.
It was that cape
that was moving around.
[man screaming]
[Steve-O]
It was all the elements
from the videos Knoxville sent
combined into one.
[laughing]
How'd it go, fellas?
[Craig] I literally told these guys
what not to wear and how not to act
and the second they get in the
water, they do everything wrong.
I don't believe that.
[all chuckling]
Great job, fellas.
Ooh, man. Hotter than
a St. Louis laundromat.
I want some photos
of that. In pronto.
[Johnny] Well, that sounds a little
irresponsible, but check out this video.
[Craig] Oh, yeah, look at this.
A couple people
trying to feed a shark.
[man] Come on.
Spin around, fella.
- [woman screaming]
- [man] Oh!
- Whoa.
- Oh, my gosh.
- [Steve-O] What happened there?
- [Craig] So, it looks like
the shark took her hand,
as well. Not just the bait.
[Johnny] Uh-huh. Yeah. And
sharks bite hard. Look at this.
[Craig] So, this
is a sandbar shark.
That's a good video right there to show
you that they're incredibly powerful fish.
They have serious teeth and
they can do some serious damage.
How do you go about
testing the shark bite?
[Craig] I don't know
if that'd be a good idea.
We're only here for bad ideas.
- Oh, God damn it.
- [all laughing]
Oh, yeah, look at that, man.
We've got sharks
all over the place.
Knoxville really wants us to measure
the impact force of a sandbar shark's bite.
[woman screaming]
And based on the videos
we just saw,
I can't think of a worse idea
that he's ever had.
So, what the hell
are we doing, Craig?
So, this is called
the jaws of life experiment.
[Craig] Sandbar sharks got their
name because they like to hang out
in the murky and sandy
bottoms of the ocean.
They're some of the biggest
coastal sharks in the world,
growing up to six-feet in length
and weighing up to 150 pounds.
But we don't know
their bite or impact force.
They're a super understudied
species, and this gives us an opportunity
to measure the impact force, which is
something that hasn't necessarily been done.
Right here is the dynamometer
or a linear scale.
And we're gonna attach a bunch
of tuna heads to it.
And we wanna measure
the impact force of it.
So we want the shark to come
in hit the bait, shake it's head
And, Jasper, you have the job
of sitting on this tube
and getting the measurement
for us.
I love it. I love it. For safety
we got Jasper on this inner tube.
[laughing]
There's so many big sharks
in the water right now.
Oh, my God. Like, just
coming right on the surface.
[Johnny] Jasper's gonna put
his arse and Barry's on the line.
But I don't know if he's gonna
be able to keep them safe.
As a producer,
I think it's a great idea.
Not that I produced this.
[laughs]
It's not a calm shark,
they're hyper-aggressive.
If it pulls on that bait,
you could fall in the water and if
you fall in the water you splash around,
you're done.
I'm not nervous.
[indistinct conversation]
That's what I'm trying
to tell myself.
[Steve-O] Jasper's a really
nice, successfully kid.
I'm hoping epic music is
playing behind me right now.
Who just got mixed up with the wrong crowd
and now he's doing all this dumb stuff
[Craig] I failed a lot of
experiments in my life.
[man] Yeah, Jasper.
This one's the dumbest.
The scientist said, this is the
dumbest thing he's ever done.
Good luck, Jasper.
[Craig] Just close your eyes,
it will be over soon.
This is not safe at all,
I would never do it,
so I'm happy he's in the tube
getting the measurements for us.
Is your ass in the water?
My ass is fully in the water.
[laughs]
Oh, no. What am I doing?
[Craig] So now we wait, guys.
Sharks a little bit
skittish, right?
You put all those fresh bait, you expect
them to come in and eat but it takes a while.
Water's fine, though!
[all laughing]
[Craig] Oh, big shark coming
in. Right underneath you.
[Chris] Let's see if he bites
the scale.
[Jasper screaming]
[shouting]
Oh, my gosh.
[Craig] They got the scent
of it now, they'll bite soon.
[Jasper screaming]
[people shouting]
[all cheering]
[all cheering]
[Poopies] There he is!
He's down right there.
Oh, no, he's right there.
[all shouting and cheering]
[Jasper screaming]
[Craig] He's got the scent.
He's got the scent.
He bumped the raft with
his tail, what does that mean?
[Craig] They're targeting
this free food.
Free meal. Free calories.
Yeah, free proteins.
Free oils.
It's good for their skin.
[Steve-O] Get the reading,
scientist.
[Craig] They're gonna start
feeding off each other's energy.
They're gonna keep coming now.
Another one's coming in.
Holy [bleep]
- All right. Here we go!
- [Jasper groaning]
[man] No way! No way!
Oh, my God.
They went under his butt.
[all laughing]
Scientifically speaking,
getting credit carded,
is when an object, I don't
know, maybe your bro's hand
goes right down
the cheeks in your bottom.
Right down
[Craig] Keep rein and bait him.
[laughing] There we go.
There we go. There we go.
[Craig] They're starting
to frenzy now.
[Craig] Six of them
around you right now.
They're circling him.
Oh, here he comes.
Here they come!
[Craig] As they get more aggressive,
their bites will get stronger too.
[man] Here we go.
- Oh, he's got it!
- [shouting]
Get him back.
[people shouting]
[man] Hold on to it.
Hold on to it.
[man 2] Don't fall. Don't fall.
This is total chaos.
[man shouting] Oh, he's got it.
[Steve-O] What'd he say?
What was it?
[Craig] What was it?
It's about 90.
[all cheering]
Yeah! 90!
That was incredible!
We did see about
a 90 pound sandbar shark
hit with about 90 pounds
of force,
which is a really
important finding.
It means their hitting with
the equivalence of their weight.
[Chris]
So a shark that weighs more
likely to have substantially
stronger impact force
which hopefully makes
it pretty clear
that hand-feeding sharks
like we saw on that video...
- [woman screaming]
- ...is a very bad idea.
I better see me my God damn science
card or whatever you get for sciences.
Yeah, Jasper!
So, how did it go?
[Jasper]
It was pretty gnarly, like...
I've never been that close to
sharks with just my butt out.
[indistinct shouting]
I got slapped around
a couple of times.
We're all scientists here
just doing what we do.
-Let's never do that again
-[all laughing]
[Johnny] Well, I have
something else for you.
[Craig] Look at this.
Sharks swimming around
a bunch of surfers
[Jasper] I don't know
about that.
[Craig] That's about
a 12-foot great white.
[laughs]
This time I'm curious.
Like, right here, the second
he paddles the shark turns.
Oh, yeah!
[Johnny] Weird it's not
swimming straight for them.
Can sharks smell humans, Craig?
Like if they are not bleeding?
[Craig] It's a good question.
Sharks have an incredibly
good sense of smell,
but it's hard to say if they
can smell us.
[Johnny] But you scientists
better figure it out.
Let's do it.
What the worse
that could happen?
[Chris] Craig,
what are we doing?
We know sharks can smell
one drop of blood
in about a regular-size
swimming pool.
But we don't necessarily know
if they can smell us.
Sharks have an incredible
sense of smell
They're often referred
to as swimming noses.
But the real question is,
can they smell our saliva?
Can they smell our sweat?
Can they smell our urine?
I have absolutely no idea.
But Johnny wants us to find out.
I just started surfing and I'm
not cool if sharks are around.
Poopies, definitely
Two wives
and he thinks he's done.
Steve-O, the goal for you is to work
up the sweat, jump into the water,
and we're gonna see how
the shark responds.
And Poopies over here is gonna
eat the shark's favorite prey.
We got a little bit of tuna,
a little bit of shrimp.
[Steve-O] And we'll see if they can smell
the food as it leaks out of your pores.
If they wanted to eat and they're
attracted to Poopies and Steve-O,
they might express some body
language. Their fins may go straight down
or they may arch their back, or they
maybe swimming a little bit erratically.
That's telling the other sharks,
"Get away, that's my piece of meat."
Let's heat it up. I'm hungry.
If my pheromones drive sharks
nearly as wild as they drive women
then we're gonna get
us some action.
[all cheering]
God damn lunatic.
- All for you, buddy.
- Thank you, Jasper.
[Steve-O] We left that out
in the sun for, like, two days.
Guys, this is [bleep].
Can we get this man some
soy sauce please?
This is what I call
the Poo-Poo platter.
-Wow -[all laughing]
Jasper, you're in danger
of getting puked on, man.
I'm in danger of puking, too.
[gags and retches]
He's really got to get it all
down or else it's not gonna work.
I heard that if you eat the
eyeball, the sharks like that a lot.
- Did it pop?
- It popped.
[belches and retches]
Once it starts secreting from your
skin it's gonna drive the sharks wild.
- In theory.
- Yeah.
[retches]
What do you say
we run this experiment?
Who attracts sharks more?
Passionate sea food lovers
or hardcore gym junkies?
The world's about to find out.
[Steve-O] Oh, no.
[all] Ahh.
[Poopies speaking]
[Steve-O speaking]
[Craig speaking]
You know what? I think I'm
gonna take a look out there.
[Poopies speaking]
[Steve-O speaking]
[Jasper speaking]
Everything just turns sexual
with this group. Huh!
[Poopies speaking]
[Steve-O speaking]
[Poopies speaking]
[Steve-O speaking]
[Craig speaking]
[Steve-O speaking]
[Craig speaking]
[Johnny] Coming up, things
are gonna get a little out of hand.
Throw the kit. Throw the kit.
[Craig speaking]
[Steve-O speaking]
[Chris] That was sick.
Well, it's a completely
interesting experiment.
[Craig]
We got the result I expected.
If these sharks were attracted
to them because of their scent,
they would have went on
to full hunting mode
We're talking about bull sharks.
Hyper-aggressive animals
that are 400 pounds,
and it would have been
a disaster underwater.
[Johnny] All right!
So, tell me, how does
Craig look in a speedo?
[Steve-O] Oh, dude, Amazing!
[all laughing]
[Johnny] Well, I've been
working hard, too.
Check out this video I found of
people trying to run away from sharks.
[Craig] Oh yeah, it's chasing
the stingray. Look at that.
- [Chris] Oh gnarly.
- [Craig] Super agile in the water.
- Damn.
- That's crazy.
I think you're right, Craig.
[Craig] When food's in the
area and they want to hunt
- they go really fast.
- [all] Yeah.
No swimming away from
those sharks.
[Johnny] How fast can sharks go?
So we don't have a lot
of measurements
from different shark species as how
fast they could go, but some sharks
can have bursts of speed of
well over 30 miles per hour.
And the average humans swims
at two miles per hour.
[Johnny] Why don't we put
Poopies on a wakeboard
towing in some bait?
I bet that's faster
You down, Poopies?
- I'm good with it.
- All right, good luck.
- [Craig] You believe in mermaids right?
- Yeah.
You know how mermaids have those
beautiful tails that help them move around?
- Yeah.
- [Craig] Well, that's where
the sharks get
their forward propulsion
they use their massive
muscular tails
as a way to move really
effortlessly through the water.
But we have no idea what the max
speed of these Caribbean reef sharks are.
Poopies, it's time for you to get in
there and do some wakeboarding.
[Chris] Craig, I have a question.
Can we get data while he does that?
- Poopsie. Poopies.
- [all laughing]
I said, "Poopsie."
This is gonna be trailing
right behind the wakeboard.
[Craig] I'm diving under the
water, and if the sharks chase,
I'll track them with my camera
to get data on their speed.
- He is a scientist.
- He is a scientist, dude.
All right, let's do it.
Learning about shark speed
is super important, you know.
I mean, when you think about it,
when people see sharks in the water,
they frantically swim away
thinking
they could out swim these
perfectly hydro-dynamic predators.
If you think you can out swim a
shark, you're absolutely wrong.
It's just a perfect mix,
if you have reef sharks,
speed and Poopies,
your gonna get footage.
So... good luck.
I'm Poopies, I've got
a wave board
and I've got a full size tuna.
This is ride or die.
[music playing]
[Craig speaking]
[Poopies] We got sharks
in the bottom
- [Chris] Meal times over.
- [Steve-O] Oh, yeah.
[bleep]
Game on.
Get the slack out!
- [Poopies speaking]
- [Steve-O laughing]
[Poopies screaming]
[whooping]
[all cheering]
[Poopies] Holy [bleep].
[Craig speaking]
- [Poopies speaking]
- [all cheering]
[Chris] What a great day
for science.
Mother nature chose us
as her mouthpiece.
[all laughing]
I felt the shark taking
the fish from me.
I saw behind me
and I was freaking out.
And then I felt them bite
the fish. It was so sick.
How'd it look down
there, scientist?
Absolutely crazy, I saw you drop of
the boat, there were sharks everywhere.
And the second you started
the gauge, I saw the tuna going
- and the shark followed right behind.
- Oh, my God.
[Craig] Based on the wind speed,
these animals are moving
at 22 miles an hour.
That's 11 times faster than
the average human can swim.
We don't stand a chance.
Craig isn't around,
so it's come to this.
We have now exhausted
every single idea we could
possibly come up with.
The well has run dry.
Poopies,
there's nothing left to do
but jump the shark.
"Jumping the shark" is a term
used in Hollywood
when a show makes
a desperate attempt
to restore
its original popularity
with cheap gimmicks.
Like in Happy Days
when Fonzie jumps the shark.
I happen to think that stunt
was pretty badass,
so now we're gonna
repeat history
with Poopies playing
the role of Fonzie.
Yay.
And sharks playing
the role of sharks.
[laughs] Let's send it.
Gotta land it, Poops.
There's all these fins
in the landing zone.
Be careful, Fonzie.
Poopies!
You got it!
He's on! Yeah!
- Yeah!
- [cheering]
Yeah, Poopies! Oh.
Oh, no. [bleep]
Oh, [bleep].
- Okay, everyone back.
- Get back, get back.
[groaning]
All right, get him up.
Get him up!
Tourniquet. Tourniquet!
Transfer right here,
transfer when you're ready.
Poopies got bit.
Putting a tourniquet on him
right now.
Tourniquet on this [bleep]
in there.
We've got to be ready
to transport him.
- Right behind you.
- Right in here, right in here.
So I need the medical bag
going with me.
- Get it by, get it by!
- We got it.
All right, I want all divers
recalled right now.
I need the phone hanging in.
Get back from here.
This was only one bite
in one spot?
Okay.
And he's not missing anything?
No, no. It's a reminder that...
Yeah, like, we are pushing it
pretty hard.
And this could happen,
of course.
It's either, like, everything's
okay or this happens.
And hopefully it's always
everything's okay, everything's okay.
But then...
You know, this time
it's not okay.
[speaks indistinctly]
He says, "I want a bonus."
So, fellas, how'd this week go?
Poopies got bit real bad, man.
Oh, my God.
- Yeah.
- But he's gonna be all right.
[Chris] Thank God
Poopies is doing great.
They were able to repair
all the damage.
If you're in the daredevil
business, you know,
you expect, and you accept,
like, that some things are gonna
go wrong every once in a while.
[Steve-O] But as long as
Poopies makes a full recovery,
his Bumble account
is gonna be firing.
There's nothing sexier
than a shark scar.
- Nothing.
- Yeah.
[Johnny] What happened?
Yeah!
[Steve-O] Everything
was going great, Knox,
Yeah, Poopies! Oh.
[Steve-O] And then Poopies
decided to cannon ball
into a big pack of sharks.
A lot of slapping going on, so
the sharks were just, you know.
It was
a perfect storm, Knoxville.
So we kinda broke every rule
we talked about.
Yeah.
[Steve-O] Those sharks
were just doing their thing.
We were in their territory,
you know?
So the sharks
were not responsible.
A lot of people,
you know, do crazy things
like this.
And they don't think
there's any consequences.
If you push the limits
with nature,
sometimes nature pushes back.
I'm really grateful
that Poopies only got bitten
on the hand and he's okay.
But at the end of the day,
I think it's really important
for the world to see
that these are wild animals
and we need to respect them.
We've been taking
a lot of chances,
doing a lot of stuff that we're not
supposed to be doing with sharks.
So let's go back in
one last time
and do it the right way.
Just us swimming around
with the sharks.
- Yeah.
- I like the sound of that, let's do that.
All right, guys, be safe, okay?
- Yeah!
- Yeah, we will be.
- For Poopies.
- For Poopies.
[Steve-O] Here we are
at the scene of the crime.
Obviously, none of us
are thrilled about
what happened
to Poopies yesterday.
I'm shaking my head hard
about that.
I know.
Well, guys, you do the right
things around sharks,
they don't pose that much
of a threat.
They're generally very shy.
We're gonna have an amazing dive
with Caribbean reef sharks.
You're gonna see them
for what they really are.
Peaceful. They are predators,
they're not gonna be amped up,
they're not gonna be hyper aggressive.
I'm gonna show you
their environment,
and it's gonna blow your mind.
- Awesome.
- All right.
Look, we're here to settle
some unfinished business.
We're back and we're going
down in the water
to take the high road.
- We wanna go make peace with these sharks.
- That's right.
Not leave a bad taste
in their mouth.
Because trust me, Poopies
tastes bad.
[laughs]
Forgiveness is freedom.
- So we're not mad at these sharks.
- Not at all.
Can't be.
We're not the kind of people
who hold grudges.
So we're gonna go in there,
maybe shake a fin.
Tell them, there's no beef here.
After what happened yesterday,
the last thing I thought
we were gonna do today
is get back in the water
to swim with more sharks.
Yeah. And here we go. [laughs]
This is for you, Poopies. Yeah!
Craig, is everything okay?
[Steve-O] Even though
I've had this weird blind spot
where I felt unaccountable
for my activity around sharks,
I've always had a deep respect
and admiration for them.
And now I respect them
even more.
The boys is hitting the surface.
Chris is here.
Getting to do a special on
Shark Week is a dream come true.
I actually have a great
respect for the power of sharks.
This has been an incredible week
and I did some crazy stuff that I
never thought I'd do in my entire life.
But I think this is
the perfect way to top it off.
Seeing these sharks
for what they really are.
Absolutely beautiful predators.
[Craig] At the end of this
expedition, I think we all learned a lot.
Sharks are very curious
animals, they're very intelligent.
And these sharks are just
swimming around the reef,
being sharks.
To me, that's what
it's all about.
You know, hindsight being 20/20.
I'm not sure if Jackass meets
Shark Week was a good idea.
It was a great idea.
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
[yelling]
Who learned the most
on this trip?
- I didn't learn anything.
- [chuckling]
Oh, my gosh, you guys.
Well...
I definitely got a degree
in Shark College there.
But no disrespect to the sharks,
like, I still love sharks
and it's not their fault
that this happened.
[cheering]
Yeah, Poopies! Oh.
I knew there was a chance
I was gonna get bit by a shark
but I didn't think
it was gonna happen.
No, I don't blame the sharks
at all.
I mean, I was in their living
room, and it was dinner time.
They were just being sharks.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
I'm proud of you,
I'm proud of all of you.
Oh, the boys had a very
successful Shark Week.
And I think Poopies definitely
has a respect
for sharks
he didn't have before.
You need to respect
these animals,
and you need to conserve
these animals,
because if you do,
you're gonna have
a healthy ocean
for many generations to come.
You're a really good scientist,
- by the way, too.
- Thanks.
- We.
- [laughs]
- We're all good scientists.
- We're all scientists now.
And we'll see you
in the theatres for Jackass.