Jerry and Marge Go Large (2022) Movie Script

BILL: These are my friends,
Jerry and Marge Selbee.
They live in Evart, Michigan.
It's a small town that's
not exactly in its prime.
Though, to be honest,
neither are Jerry and Marge.
Today, they're on their way
to buy lottery tickets.
Lots and lots of lottery
BILL: But they're not hoping
to get lucky.
You see, they don't need luck.
But this story
doesn't start there.
It starts with Jerry,
getting up before dawn just like
he has every day for 42 years,
going to work at
the Corn Flakes factory,
for what he fears
will be the last time.
JERRY: It's a math problem,
If you count the letters, uh,
except the letter "I,"
which they skip
because it looks like a "1",
then you realize
that "J" is February.
And then, the last letter...
That designates the plant code,
which was not easy
to figure out, but, uh...
I did.
you don't have to work
so hard. You're retiring.
Well, yeah. But... I...
I don't have to be. Um...
I know my line
is shutting down, but...
You know, I have a thing
with numbers.
Come on.
You've served your time.
These are your golden years.
He's the best line manager
we ever had, right?
MAN: Hey. Why don't you
tell these guys
how you started
working here in high school?
You worked nights, right?
HOWARD: To Jerry. DOUG: All right.
Not everybody
can pull off 42 years
without getting fired.[ALL LAUGH]
And now you have a boss
who's going to let you sleep in.
And won't yell at me.
Wrong about that.Oh.
You know, you should get
your real estate license,
just like Howard did.
It's like having a job.
But it's also like
being retired,
because you don't do anything.
[ALL LAUGH]It's true.
Most days, I don't
even leave the house.
You know, I'll make it work.
You know, I can always help
Marge around the house.
No, you don't need to do that.
No, I'd be happy to.
I mean, you've been taking
care of this place for years.
I kind of have a system.
Oh, yeah, and a good one.
But, you know, every system
can use an improvement.
DOUG: Oh, God. Here we go.
Hey. I got an idea. Yeah?
Why don't I try consulting
on some of your job sites?
You know, find ways of
making things run better.Ah.
You wanna walk around
on my construction site
and tell me what I'm
doing wrong? Oof.
I wouldn't charge much.
Oh, and I have
to pay you for this?
Darn right. DOUG: Are you going
to also come by
and teach my wife
how to grade papers?[ALL CHUCKLE]
Hey, Dad, if I lived here,
I would welcome that.
Thank you, Dawn.
I'm gonna take you up on that.
I'm gonna drive down
to Grand Rapids more often.
Oh, whoops.
You sold it too well.
Shut up. Backfired right in your face.
Yeah, sweetie? Okay.
Can we show Pop Pop?
Uh, yeah, you wanna show
Pop Pop right now?
Show me what?
We got you
a retirement present. WOMAN: Surprise.
Open your eyes. LIZZY: Open.
JERRY: Holy cow!
A fishing boat. What...
Do I like fishing?
I do? Okay. Yeah, you took me once.
Yeah, now you can
go whenever you want.
JERRY: Yeah, how about that?
This is great.
Thank you.
Thank you, thank you,
thank you. DAWN: Oh, good.
[LAUGHS] Oh.DAWN: Dad likes it.
And you, for keeping a secret.
Thank you, pumpkin.
Thank you, Doug. You like it?
JERRY: Yeah. DOUG: All right.
My goodness.
My goodness. DOUG: Good job.
You didn't spoil it.
DOUG: That was your one job.
You did so good. You okay?
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
I don't have many
regular clothes.
It's all work shirts.
Well, we can
get you more clothes.
It'll be an adjustment.
You'll find your way.
Have you?
Not really.
But I don't have a boat.
You want this one?
Morning, Leon. Morning, Jerry.
Card was declined, Helen.
I'm sorry.
HELEN: [SIGHS] Dang it.
Maybe I have cash. Let me just...
LEON: I know
you're good for it.
HELEN: Thanks, Leon.
What are you doing out here?
My appointment is at 10:00.
No, you said
you'd come at 10:00.
I don't have any other
appointments. I have six clients.
How do you make a living
with only six clients?
I don't. I just became an online
travel agent. See the posters?
Oh, yeah.
So, why do you need
posters if it's online?
Because they were free.
Why do you always have to understand
the reasoning behind everything?
Oh, well.
It's the only way
I can make sense of things.
How's the boat?
Water's still too cold.
You don't get in the water.
That's the point of the boat.
Hmm. How's my account?
Speaking of cold...
2% gains,
which doesn't sound
like much, because it isn't.
Look, you gotta
be more aggressive.
If you let me put that in stocks,
I could probably get you 10%.
That would double
your money in only...
7.27 years.
Literally the only time I was
going to get to use that today.
This is all we've got.
And I'm not about
to gamble with it.
It's not gambling. It seems
like a risk, but the market...
Yeah, well, if you
could lose it, it's gambling.
I'll call you in a month
for my next appointment.
Don't need an appointment.Okay.
Take out the boat.
JERRY: I may just do that.
Holy cow!
LEON: Hey, Jer.
WOMAN: What's a roll down? LEON:
It's when the jackpot hits two million
and nobody gets six numbers.
Then the whole jackpot
rolls down
to the people
who got three or four...
Just better odds.
Good luck. Yeah.Thanks.
LEON: Better odds.
Can that be right?
All right.
It's not gambling.
The lottery? Yup. There's a way
to win every time.
Are you having a stroke?
There's a loophole
they didn't see, and it's
right here in the math.
Now, on a typical drawing,
you'd have a one in 54 chance
of hitting three out of six numbers,
and a one in 1,500
chance of hitting four.
Odds are you'll lose every time.
Not every time.
I won a free ticket
last week, which lost.
But on the roll down weeks,
the payouts to the lower numbers
increases above the amount
that you would pay to play.
So, the math is in your favor.
And they missed it.
STEVE: I don't know
what this says.
Looks like the numbers a crazy
man drew on his cell wall.
It means that
on the roll down weeks,
you're guaranteed to win.
That can't be true.
Why not? Because it's
the lottery, Jerry.
There's a building
of people in Detroit
whose job it is to know how
the numbers work. And they do.
I cannot believe
you are my accountant.
Part-time accountant.
Full-time online travel agent.
Hey, Mindy.
Hey, Jerry.
Making a deposit?
Uh, no... I...
I'd like to withdraw $2,000.
So, how are your feet?
Been better.
Rolling the tennis ball helped,
until my manager tripped on it
and threw it into the street.
I can bring you another one.
They come in threes.Thanks.
Oh, thank you.
I'll be back in a couple
of days with a deposit.
Probably be 20% more than this.
Give or take.
See you then.Okay.
MAN: Thank you.
MIDGE: Okay. Have a good day.
Two thousand WinFall tickets.
Two thousand?
Yes, ma'am.
Good evening, folks, and welcome
to this week's WinFall lottery roll down.
Grab your tickets, have a seat
and let's get right to it.
The first lucky number is six.
The second number...
You okay? Oh, yeah. Never better.
ANNOUNCER ON TV: Forty-three.
So, how'd it go with the boat?
Oh, uh...
They said they can fix the
motor, but it's not for me.
I mean, we're supposed to be
doing stuff together anyway, right?
ANNOUNCER ON TV: Thirty-one.
You want to watch a movie? ANNOUNCER ON TV:
The next winning number is...
Oh... No, I didn't
mean right now. ANNOUNCER ON TV: Ten.
Well, so, when? Well, I don't know.
I'm watching a program.
You're watching this?
Forty-three, 31, 10, and 32.
And we hope you're a winner.
That's one's four.
Twenty-one, 28.
Problem is, nobody knows
about this town.
Evart should start selling houses
for a dollar, like they do in Tuscany.
Lure people here.
We can live in Tuscany
for a dollar?
Well, a Euro.
SHIRLEY: That's a dollar.
HOWARD: No, a little
more than that.
Jerry, how much is a Euro?
Full house.
We're playing gin.
HOWARD: Thank you so much.
MARGE: All right. Well, goodnight.
SHIRLEY: Goodnight. MARGE: Take care.
Have a good
walk home. HOWARD: Okay.
JERRY: Gin, or poker,
or cribbage,
I get confused by them all. HOWARD:
You don't care. You don't care.
Scrabblenext.[JERRY LAUGHS]
All right, night.
You're going to have
to tell me what's going on.
I'm too old to wait it out.
I missed my chance.
I did everything
I was supposed to do.
Everything I had to do.
Now it's too late
to do anything else.
Oh, your life isn't over.
Everybody seems to think it is.
Heck, I can do anything.
I'd still be at the factory
if they didn't cut my line.
But instead...
These are my golden years.
Yeah, just because things didn't
work out the way you wanted,
doesn't mean they won't.
Good luck happens, same as bad.
Good luck, it happens
same as bad?
Yeah. It's just math.Yeah. [LAUGHS]
What? Oh, man. What a dummy.
Not you. Me.
You're a genius. [LAUGHS]
Sample size.[GASPS]
That is where I went wrong.
I didn't calculate
the frequency of probability.
It's just math.
Oh, I don't like math.
Oh. Oh, I'm sorry.
Here, let me show you...
Here. So,
if you take a coin
and you flipped it 1,000 times,
you might still get 60% heads.
But if you flipped it 5,000 times,
the probability gets closer to 50%.
The sample has to be large enough
to take luck out of the equation.
And this is for you.
Are you depositing a penny?
No. Uh...
I wanna make a withdrawal.
Oh, and how much does
that leave us with?
I am checking.
A little over four.
Make it six, then.
Six? Mmm-hmm.
Are you sure? Hmm.
JERRY: Ninety-eight.
JERRY: Ninety-nine.
Eight thousand.
Thank you, Midge.
There we go.
HOWARD: You know,
every town has a thing.
We need a thing.
What happened to jazz fest?
Well, we couldn't keep
the stage up to code.
Oh, one of those clogger
girls fell right through.
Oh, yeah.
SHIRLEY: Jazz fest
made money, too.
I mean, not that year,
because the girl sued us.Yeah.
She was upset 'cause
we were still clapping.
We thought it was
part of the show.
By the way, a bunch
of us are pooling money
for the lottery tonight.
They're doing that roll down
thing, where you can win more.
We're not lottery people. HOWARD:
That's probably for the best.
You know, there are some
people who blow thousands
on those things?[COUGHING]
You all right? HOWARD: Here we go.
What's the matter? Take the drink.
SHIRLEY: Down the wrong pipe.
Eating too fast.
STEVE: I mean, it's like
a regular travel agent,
but it's online,
so people can act like animals
when something doesn't work out.
Hey, you should be traveling.
You and Wendy used to go on
all these cruises and come back
and call everything port
and starboard.
[CHUCKLES] I didn't even
know which was which.
Depends which ocean you're on.
Hmm. No. No.HOWARD: Yep.
She'd want you to have fun.
It's been three years.
Oh, brats. Brats
and burgers. All?
cheese on it.Okay.
Brats and... Oh.HOWARD: Cheddar?
Doug, would you watch
the grill for a second?
See? This is
a good time. Huh?
Mmm. I told you it'd be
worth the drive.
No, you said you didn't know
how many weekends you have left.
Well, I don't.
[DAWN SCOFFS]Yeah, but the math works.
Drive for two hours,
get a free burger.
Offsets the cost of gas.
I don't eat meat, Dad.
Oh, right.
I'll get the chicken.
No, that's still meat.
JERRY: Okay.
Is he okay?
He just doesn't know
the formula for "I miss you."
It is more fun when you're here.
I know, but you and Dad,
you gotta have fun together.
I know you've waited
a really long time
for him to retire. I know.
I know. We need to work on it.
I can't even remember
the last time that we had...
[WHISPERS] You know? What?
Yeah. Oh, no, that's okay.
I don't need to hear about...
I'm gonna get a beer.
Okay? Okay. We'll work on it.
I'm thinking about it anyway. DAWN: Okay.
I wish he would.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
No, Lizzy, Lizzy, Lizzy!
No, no, no, no, Liz.
Let's not...
Let's not open that.
Why? I want the popcorn. I know. I know.
But this... this popcorn's
very stale. Ugh.
I like stale.
Well, but this is full of
sugar. It's no good for you.
I saw you eat seven Oreos.
You want an Oreo?
You ate them all, Pop Pop.
Okay. All right. Uh...
Let me just have it
for one minute.
Pop Pop will give it
back to you. I promise.
You trust Pop Pop now, right?
Let me just take one minute.
And I'll be right out.
Here you go.
Take. Thanks, Pop Pop.
Something you wanna tell me?
The pantry.
I'm playing the lottery.
I meant the empty bag of Oreos.
I'm playing the lottery,
and I'm winning.
I figured out the math,
and I won $15,000.
It's stuffed inside
the Frosted Mini-Wheats box.
I gave $20 to
Shirley's lottery pool.
I guess it's not
such a big deal now.
I had to try it.
I... I found this
flaw in the game,
and I had to find out
if I was right.
Well, why didn't
you just tell me?
I... felt silly.
We barely have enough money
to retire on as it is, and...
This is no time to risk it.
Yes, it is. What?
It's time to risk it.
Because right now we're losing
something that
matters even more.
I've waited 40 years
for it to be just us,
and so far
we kind of suck at it.
We have Jeopardy.
Oh, that's not
a thing. Jerry!
I wanna have fun.
I wanna have fun.
Let's be
a little stupid. Huh?
We got married when we were 17,
so we know how to do it.
Well, that's true.
We need something for us.
I didn't think it would
be playing the lottery,
but I'd rob a bank if it gave
us something to talk about.
JERRY: If we bet the
whole $15,000...
Oh, we should.
Let's bet it all. You think?
Yeah, 'cause I was thinking
the same thing. It's right...
No. No,
no, no, no.
Leon, what happened to WinFall?
Oh, they...
they phased it out.
What? It's gone,
just like that?
You don't play anyway, do you?
No.Yeah, well, I guess
people will just
have to play the one
in Massachusetts now.
The math works. You can see
that. You're an accountant.
Yeah. I mean...
I mean, it looks right.
And Massachusetts
isn't that far.
No, it's only about a 10-hour
drive if our truck doesn't break down.
If it does, we'll get a ride.Yeah.
From whom?
Truckers. Yeah, they're always
looking for company.
To murder. We'll jump out
if it gets weird.
And they won't even know that
we have a duffle bag full of cash.
Yeah, we'll keep
that zipped up.[JERRY LAUGHS]
All right. All right, what?
I'm in, too.
You sure? STEVE: No.
But what the hell? Put me in
for 1,000. [LAUGHS]
I just got a cruise
I gotta cancel now.
JERRY: Hey. Oh.Oh. Got our dinner.
Yeah. We're going to need
three days of food.
And I found us
a small town to play in.
Yeah, keep things quiet.
You know, like how
I park a block away
at a good garage sale.
Yeah? Oh.Move.
You got a ham radio? What?
Ham radio. We're gonna
hit some dead zones.
I suppose I can go to Ace... Wait a minute.
How are we on batteries?
Uh... I...
Okay. Let's get some more.
[CHUCKLES] Just in case.
Feels like we really
are robbing a bank.
Nah. It's gonna be
more fun. You take that.
Here are the keys.
All right. Aah.
I got the coupons.
All right. You grab that.
Oh, now? Oh.
Let's go.Oh.
Can I get dressed first?
You have cookies?
Doesn't look like much.
Well, all we need is
a ticket machine, right?
Hey, kid, those are
buy one, get one free,
'cause they're so out of date.
They're from 2013,
but they'll still
turn your mouth blue.
Actually, I'm gonna
get them first.
[SIGHS] How can I help you?
We'd like to buy
8,000 WinFall tickets.
BILL: I'm gonna
get you first.
No way is this enough.[BOY CHUCKLES]
There's no way that was enough.
Eight thousand WinFall
tickets is, like...
No. 16,000.$16,000.
And that is how much we brought.
Well, the machine prints 1,000
tickets an hour, so you'll be here all day.
And let me tell you from
experience, being here all day sucks.
Because I'm here all day.
Well, he's right. It's gonna
take eight hours.
I can do it. Let's get rolling.
You want us? Yeah, come on.
I got work to do.
I'm busy. Well, can you show us
how it works?
You'll figure it out.
JERRY: Sorry, the motel's
not so great.
MARGE: The Pick
and Shovel. [LAUGHS]
Perfect name.
Because it's what you
need to dig a grave.
Hah. Reminds me
of our wedding night.
My dad gave me enough money
to take you to the prom.
But then I thought, "Heck,
the prom ends at midnight,
"but a marriage,
that lasts forever.
"And it's 20 bucks cheaper."
Which you spent on a Days Inn.
Oh, on our honeymoon.Yeah.
Well, I'm glad
we're being crazy.
I'd sleep in the car
if I had to.
Well, you may have to.
I don't think this door locks.
Oh, it's on, Jerry. Oh, oh, oh, oh.
All right.
Oh, you have the...
ANNOUNCER ON TV: Cross those
fingers, our very last lucky number is 21.
Folks, those numbers, one more
time, are 23, 45, 01, 25, 06 and 21.
All right, folks, check those
numbers. We wish you the best of luck.
Hopefully this was your week.Okay.
JERRY: Well, we got 8,000
tickets to check.[MARGE SIGHS]
JERRY: Let's get started.
We'll probably see sunrise.
[GASPS] The last one
is a three-number winner.
So we bet 16,000.Mmm-hmm.
And the two number winners
just gives us free tickets,
so if we count those
as a push...
Which means we made...
I think we're gonna
need more Oreos.
Yeah, we're all... No, heck.
There's a little piece left there for you.
[LAUGHS] No.You sure you don't...
No, thank you.
They just said,
"Congratulations." Huh.
Of course they did.
It's not against the rules
to buy tickets.
I thought an alarm would go
off and they'd start yelling at me.
[LAUGHS] So did I.
Do you really think
we're the only ones who know?
Hey, why are there ultrasonic
sensors on our toilet stalls?
BOY: Bathroom vacancy grid.
I got tired of walking in there
and seeing feet under every stall.
So, now I know that when
the light is green, the toilet is...
Well, not clean,
but nobody is sitting on it.
We're supposed to be doing
our research projects.
I am.
Bathroom lights? No. That'd be stupid.
I'm doing one on the lottery.
Ah. That's way
more stupid.
It's not. I'm evaluating
the exact odds of winning
Power ball versus Mega Millions.
Okay. Yeah, it's stupid.
Whatever. I'll still get a B.
What are these?
The smaller state games.
I need them for comparison.
Sweet. The handicapped
stall is open.
Jerry, pull over.
Come on, pull over. We're
only a mile from home.
No.You can't hold it?
It's not that.
Okay. Okay.
Marge, how long
is this gonna take?
'Cause I actually have to go.
Did you ever think maybe the
world wasn't passing you by?
Maybe you were meant to be here.
To work in the factory
and to care about all these
people the way you do,
because the day would come
when you could help them.
What do you mean?
Well, you said the more
we bet, the better the odds.
I did say that.
So you wanna start
a corporation?
Bring in the whole town.
If we sell shares, we'll have
more capital to invest.
Go big or go home. [CHUCKLES]
Then we'll split the profits
with the shareholders.
Everybody rides.
Will you stop talking like that?
Sorry. I'm just
really into it.
She's really into it.
Because she knows it'll work.
House always wins.
Stop it.
You really think
people will come in on this?
Yup. You did.
Yeah, but I'm a depressed
widower with nothing to live for.
You wanna buy
more shares, then? Yes!
JERRY: And that
about does it.
Any questions?
So, uh, GS
Investment Strategies? That's right.
We've got a business license
and everything.
Not much of a name.
Well, don't worry
about the name.
You need "lottery"
in there somewhere.
Well, the name's not important.
It is if you wanna sell the
idea. I took a class on marketing.
Well, the idea sells itself. You buy a
share for $500 and you make a profit.
It's that simple. Do you have a logo?
Don't need a logo. Logos help.
I have a pig on a tractor.
Yeah. Okay, look, you all
have known me for years.
This will work,
and it'll help everybody.
What if we want in,
but we're behind on our bills,
and don't have enough for a share?
Do you accept other
forms of payment?
Like what?
Wait, wait, wait.
Got it all right here.
SHIRLEY: Oh, we're in.
I've never done
anything criminal like this.
MARGE: No, Shirley,
it's not criminal.
We're gonna pay taxes on all
the winnings and claim expenses.
Jerry's got it all worked out.
Your mother and I
are going into business.
[CHUCKLES] Are you
selling her toffee or something?
No. We're gonna play
the lottery.
It's 500 a share.Okay.
Oh, yeah? Okay?
You don't wanna know details?
No, no, no, I'm good.
It sounds great.
You can see in
the first three plays Dad, Dad.
That we've increased our profit.
It's just not for me.
I just don't understand
this. It's just math.
It's always just math.
It's like sorting through coins,
looking for buffalo nickels,
because you had
calculated there was,
what, one in every
seven rolls or something?
Yeah. We made $600.
We sorted through coins every
weekend for a month. I was 12.
It was fun.
It would have been nice to just
throw the football or something.
Look, I'm...
HEATHER: Hey, Doug?
Doug, the Porters lost power in their
barn and they want you to come take a look.
All right.
I'll be right there.
Okay. I gotta go.Okay. Yup.
I'll be in your business,
Pop Pop.
How are you at logos? Good.
Well, come here and show
Pop Pop.
Let me give you some paper.
And you show me what you can do
about drawing a logo
for Pop Pop's business.
If you wanna get that going,
push your button.
Right there.
Push the button.
Bill? BILL: Hey, Jerry.
Hey, Marge.
Hey, uh, if we're gonna
do this again,
I'm gonna need to charge you
for using the microwave.
We are betting 40,000.
You guys drug dealers?
No. We're professional
lottery players.
I don't think that's a thing.
It is now.
Listen, as much as I'd like to see
if you can stand behind that thing
for that long
without breaking a hip,
there's no way you can buy that
many tickets before closing time.
Can you stay open later?
Oh, I'm afraid not.
I'm undergoing some marital
trauma at the moment.
Oh.Well, truth be told,
tonight is a drinking
celebration with my buddies.
Now, admittedly we do it out
there, in the parking lot,
but, uh, I just can't have
customers in here.
It's a liability.
What if we weren't customers?
I have no idea what you're
talking about.
What if we were partners?
Bill, I'd like to introduce you
to GS Investment Strategies.
I'm in. Can I be in?
So I'm a shareholder, and I could
totally get you guys in if you want.
So, it's a WinFall,
so when the numbers...
Okay, you're an investor... Okay, let's
say you've got several hundred dollars.
Then there is these lottery
numbers. If they don't hit, you win.
You in? You got any money?
I believe we are done.
Hey, I got two more
One of them's got to rob his parents'
house real quick, but he's definitely in.
That's 500 more tickets.Yup.
[LAUGHING] All right.
You want a bong hit real quick?
I don't know what that is. BILL: Marge?
No thanks, Bill. All right. Ow!
Our next number is 46...
Number 24...
And our very last number for
today is number 23.
So, one more time, those
numbers are 05, 21, 39, 46, 24, 23...
MARGE: Okay, here we go.
No more
cigarette burns, huh? Yeah.
Well... [EXHALES]
I guess we fire up some
of that delicious motel coffee
and get started.
Or it could wait till morning.
MAYA: The lottery?
MARTIN: Lottery winners get
a lot of clicks.
I don't do clicks. I do news.
Do you not see all these
empty cubicles?
Just poke around for something.
Find me a headline that I can
throw in the Spotlight section.
Oh, nice thing about this mattress
is, we both roll to the center.
I don't think I can
get out if I tried.
Well, we have time.
What? What the heck?
all right, all right.
Got the wrong room.
Got the wrong room.
It came in! What did?
The lottery sends a tally of all
the winnings sold by the store.
WinFall tickets won $82,000.
And how many WinFall tickets
did you sell at your store?
Just yours, plus six more. Yes!
To me. But those didn't win.
We doubled it. We doubled it.
We doubled it! [LAUGHS]
We doubled it!
BILL: We doubled it!
BOTH: Whoo!
It's Steve.
Hey, Steve.
Hey, Jerry.
I was just checking to see how
we did. Um, you know, curious.
sending out an official shareholder report.
Yeah, yeah, right, right,
but you know...
He wants to know.
What do you think?
Well, we doubled it.
We doubled it!
This can't be real. I
didn't believe it either,
but I've been running simulations
during the drawings, and it's right.
If you bet at least 10 grand,
the odds tilt towards the buyer.
Can you get money
from your dad? I'm not asking him for shit.
Why not? His name is on a
building. I think he can afford it.
Because this is mine.
Do you have 10 grand? No.
I have a dorm.
Okay, that is one slice of pizza
per person. One slice.
Thank you.[CLINKING]
ERIC: Hey, only take a piece
if you contributed to the fund.
The first thing you learn at Harvard
is that you're here for your future.
Second thing you learn...
Is that's all bullshit.
TYLER: There is no future.
There is just now
waiting for you to take it.
I found a flaw in the lottery.
Okay? A way to beat
the game every time
because nobody at the lottery
figured out what I did.
But it only works
if you can bet big.
So, tell your parents that you
have new lab fees, or need books,
or got an STD.
Whatever it takes, because if we
pull this off, then we are legends!
Also, I'm gonna need you all
to fill out about 300 lottery slips,
so we don't bet duplicates.
Here you go. That's for you.
Thank you.
You're not filling any out?
No. I'm in charge.
DOUG: Okay, talk to me.
So you wanna renovate it?
HOWARD: Yup. All the
shareholders are chipping in.
We're bringing back
the jazz festival.
The best music is the music
you make up as you go along.
HOWARD: Ah, I'm just sad we couldn't
have had it when Prince was around.
He wouldn't have come, Howard.
We'll never know.
You guys are sure this is what
you wanna do with your money?
You don't wanna
invest it somewhere?
We are investing it
somewhere. [CHUCKLES]
All right.
I'll give you a hand. All right.
Doug, put it on top there.Yup. All right.
[EXHALES] Thank you.
Why do you keep all these?
The IRS.
When we get audited,
we'll need a paper trail of all
the losing tickets we bought.
Think you're gonna get audited?
Oh, yeah.
DOUG: Jesus.
You know, your group hired me to
fix the amphitheater. Six-month job.
Oh. How about that?[BOX THUDS]
Yeah, how about that?
Well, you may wanna consider
chipping in on that.
Well, you have a share.
You did, from the start.
DOUG: Dad...
You didn't have to do that.
Oh, I didn't wanna count
nickels without you.
I'm telling you, Dottie has done
such a great job with this bookstore.
Yeah. You know,
Leon is renovating the hotel.
Howard got him a deal on it,
but his commission is that
he and Shirley get to use the
hot tub whenever they want.
Leon will regret that.
You are not kidding.
JERRY: Hello,
hello, everybody. WOMAN: Oh, hey!
JERRY: All right.
Well, go ahead...
Go on, sit on down.
Look, first off, I can say that
we're doing pretty darn well.
Yeah. But you probably already know
that by reading your shareholder report...
I can't get mine to open.
Oh, do you have Word?
I have Windows, I think.
I'll print you one, Shirley.
Oh, thank you.
As you might have imagined it,
we're gonna use the majority
of our capital for betting.
MAN: Yeah.
But there are dividends
that you can access.
Right. So, I know a lot of people would
like to see the jazz festival come back.
And, Old Frank can sure use a
mail truck he doesn't fall out of.
Uh, so, now on to
the profit ratios. We...
Yes, Raj? Is there not food
at this thing?
No. No. This is a shareholder
meeting. It's not a party.
Then why did you have it at
6:00, when we all eat?
Well, you're welcome to
all go to the diner, but...
No, then you're not gonna
learn about the numbers.
STEVE: So, what's
the next play?
312,000 tickets.
That's $600,000.JERRY: Yeah.
We're betting half a million
in one play?
Oh, the money is the easy part.
Is it? Yeah.
It'll take four days of betting,
two machines, 12 hours a day.
Then why don't you
just bet the normal amount?
It's Newton's law.
If you push against something,
it's gonna push back.
And we discovered a flaw.
But by using it, we've introduced
a variable that changes it.
And we don't know how long
this game is gonna last.
Then we need to make as much
money as we can, while we can.
Get the festival going, and finish
rebuilding before it pushes back.
I ordered a second machine
from the lottery,
but they said you're only
allowed one per location,
so I was like, "Well, what
if I have a second store?"
They're like, "What's the address?" I
was like, "Uh-oh. There's my mistake."
And that's where
my buddy, Darryl, comes in.
And, uh, we're gonna give him
an extra share, but here you are.
You can print out 24 hours
a day, plus unlimited pie.
Look at this.
What's this?
From my source
at the AG's office.
Now, the lottery has to disclose
players who claim more than 50 grand,
five times a year.
Sometimes the winners
are fronts, you know,
cashing tickets for people who
owe child support, or have a warrant,
but look at this guy.
Wins big every three weeks.
Lives in Michigan.
A retired factory worker.
No criminal record.
He's won this much? Yeah.
Who drives 10 hours every month
to play the lottery in a different state?
Yeah, that doesn't
make any sense.Right.
Did that woman just rob you?
That's my wife.
Well, she certainly
seems spirited.
Yeah, she's a spitfire.
No, she's just pissed off
'cause I filed for divorce,
and she didn't ever think
I'd be able to afford it.
Looks like money well spent.Yeah.
Kind of lost the magic ever
since Steely Dan stopped touring.
You know...
I need to find someone like you.
Only younger. Yeah, that started off great.
No, I mean, you know, just
someone that's still fertile.
And their womb can have babies.
You're not good at this.
Oh, I'm really not.
Can you help me?
Well, my mother used to say,
"Kiss a few frogs, then when
you find your prince,
"you'll realize that the frogs are
better, 'cause they make you laugh."
Does laughing at you count?
Bill, you need a new frog.
I need a new frog.
Welcome to the now, bitches.
We are going to make
a shitload of money,
but it's going to take time,
and sweat, and passion, okay?
So, everybody fill out
two stacks of slips.
We need to get 25,000 in
in the next three weeks.
Something wrong?
There's another group.
The payout should
have been bigger.
The only thing that makes sense
is another group eating into the pot,
so I checked sales
at every store.
That's public information? No, I hacked
the state lottery.
Wait. That's my laptop.
Yeah. You should destroy
your hard drive after this.
Dude.Whatever. It worked.
Look at the winnings in
Sunderland, from only two locations.
Two locations. They'd have to buy tickets
for a week to get those kind of numbers.
They're there right now.
Hey. I finished early tonight.
What's the rush?
Oh... [LAUGHS]
You didn't think I'd forget
our anniversary, did you?
Oh, you just got that out
of the cooler. Well, yeah.
But I hid it behind the Yoo-hoo this
morning so that nobody would get it.
You know it's good when
it does that.
JERRY: Beautiful
plastic china.
Here you go.
Here's to 46 more years.
I think I still owe you
a prom night.
This was easier when I was 16.
You're even more beautiful now.
That's the out-of-date
champagne talking.
Yeah, he really shouldn't
be selling that.
Oh. Mmm.
No teacher to pull us apart.
You guys are the other group?
Oh, man. We thought it was gonna be,
like, a crime syndicate or something. Phew.
I don't know what
you're talking about.
Sorry, we are being super
rude. I'm Tyler, this is Eric.
We run a betting club
at Harvard.
We're called Random Industries,
which is also the name
of my skateboard brand.
Well, I figured there'd
be somebody else.
Me, too, but I mean, I didn't expect this.
Look at you guys. It's like Up.[LAUGHS]
Would you like a glass
of champagne?
No, I only drink Jager
and Red Bull. But thank you.
Oh, well, at least you'll never
have to worry about being our age.
Look, we're really only hurting each
other by playing at the same time,
so here's a better offer.
You join my group,
add your capital to our pot,
and we'll handle
all the betting.
Well, I don't know.
We kind of like to do
our own thing.
You'll get a cut without
having to do anything.
I have an army of bettors. You won't
even have to leave your rocking chairs.
We're good.
This is about making money.
You like money, right?
Well, not as much
as I like other things.
ERIC: Oh, my God.
Uh, now, look, if you two don't
mind, this is our anniversary.
And you are killing the
ambience of our liquor store.
You're welcome to take
a Red Bull for the road.
Or maybe a juice box.
You're good at math.
I'm sure that helps out on
the farm, but at Harvard,
we learn a little something
called binomial distribution.
Look it up.
Then you'll see why your odds are
better when you fill out your own slips.
You're welcome.
Binomial distribution
only considers two factors.
Not a third, which is human
error, or a fourth,
which is the time it takes
for you to fill in the tickets.
You gain a whooping 32 bucks
for every $100,000 you win.
You're welcome.
Seriously? Shut up!
I guess it wouldn't be a prom
without dumb teenagers.
That reminds me of
where we left off.
So I get the house?
You get everything.
Bill just wants to keep
his share of GS Strategies.
Whatever. I got the house.
Well, good luck to you, Candace.
You know, we had a few good
years there before it all turned to shit.
And I hope you find your frog.
Hey, what is GS whatever?
Oh, yeah. That's a little
company I'm a part of.
Uh, we win the lottery
every month.
See you around.
RAJ: I'd love to re-open
the ice cream shop.
Well, now you can lease it
for $1.19 a year.
And the Downtown fund
will cover the rest.
Oh, it's a euro.
It's a complicated story.
Jerry can explain it to you.
Boy, oh, boy.
I just bought a Corvette.
Yeah, I can see that.
You want to take it for a ride next
week? I'm going on a cruise to Me-hi-co.
Oh, no, I don't think
I can get into it.
All right, old man,
suit yourself.
There's another group.
Some kids from Harvard
figured it out.
Well, that sucks.
We should be okay.
We're still winning enough for people
to rebuild and get the jazz fest going.
We just have to stay
in the game.
And we will. Well, that's easy
for you to say.
You're not standing at a
machine for five days straight.
I said I would take a shift.
No, no. That's okay.
Yeah, because you guys
like it, right?
Yeah, we do. Yeah, you do.
Yeah, you do.
MARGE: So glad
you got the day off.
Well, it doesn't feel
like I did. MARGE: Oh, oh...
How did you guys do this
for weeks?
Because it's an adventure.
Oh, no, this is
not an adventure.
It's getting paper cuts in a motel
filled with prostitutes and drug dealers.
Well, Dawn, you don't
have to do it.
Oh, no, no,
I want to. I do.
I mean, I never get to spend time
with you guys, and, you know...
Feeling trapped in a gross
hotel, filling bins with losing tickets
is just a memory
I will never ever forget.
Oops. This one's a winner.
Oh, you missed it.Okay. [SIGHS]
I'm done. I'm done.
Hey, when's the part where
you get to turn in all the winners?
Because I will do that. Well, that is fun.
We're gonna have to
double check all the...
Is there a bar at this motel?
Mr. Grazio?
Maya Jordon. Boston Globe.
I had some questions
about the WinFall game.
Well, Melanie Hawkins
handles our publicity.
But the game has been
a huge success for the state.
Not just for the state.
Are you aware there's a player in
Michigan winning millions every month?
We raise a lot of money for schools,
but nobody does an article about that.
Some retiree gets lucky and
they send a Spotlight reporter?
I didn't say he was a retiree.
Yeah, well, you know,
it's a lottery.
People win. So,
wouldn't call it news.
I have a meeting.
Thanks for your time.
JERRY: Morning, Leon. LEON: Morning, Jerry.
Made you a fresh pot.
French roast. JERRY: Oh.
Wow. You're
getting fancy.
TYLER: Hey, Jerry.
They said I'd find you here.
What do you want?
This won't take long.
We're not joining your group.
I don't want you to.
I don't really need
your capital anymore.
I just need you out of the game.
So, you're out. What?
See, you're not really as good at
calculating people as you are numbers.
So you haven't really run the math on
what somebody like me would do to win.
And what would you do?
Set an army of the smartest
kids you've ever met against you
and everyone you play with.
We hacked into the state lottery
to find where you were betting.
You don't think that we can
hack into your accounts?
Your credit? Your identity?
It won't be hard. I mean...
Most of them think a firewall is
something in their chimney, so...
Why are you doing this?
It's just math.
Nothing personal.
Look, you had a good run.
You made some cash for Mayberry.
But it's over.
Enjoy your golden years.
Hey, so how many days
do you think we'll need?
We're out of the game.
WOMAN: Jerry!
Oh... Uh...
Okay. Uh.
Oh, boy. Well, uh...
I'm sad to report that, due to
some new variables in the game...
We're going to have
to stop playing.
I am sorry.
So, you're really going to let some college
smart ass take all this away from you?
The odds that he might do
something outweigh the benefits...
It's not about the math.
It's about being human.
You know, Dad, I...
I've watched you spend
so much of your life
just being overlooked
and pushed around.
Nobody knew what you could do.
Nobody cared.
And then you finally took your
shot, and you brought us all with you.
You know what you did? You
made our little town feel big.
That's why they're all in there.
That's why I was in there.
He'll be okay.
You know why
I don't like to fish?
The last time that I went,
I took him with me.
He was 16, 17.
And I started calculating
how fast the bobber was moving
so I can figure out
the speed of the current.
And then I hear him ask me,
"What do you think, Dad?"
And it was at that moment
that I realized
he was talking about
a girl that he liked.
And... Oh.
I had no idea.
You know, it's...
It's never been a gift.
It's been a trick.
Your brain tells you
that you see what other's don't,
but in the end,
you're just seeing less.
I think I'll walk home tonight.
All right, guys, it's gonna be a big
one. It's all of us now, so make it count.
Go, go, go.
Roll down's this weekend.
Mmm-hmm. I know.
I'm just trying to do
the right thing.
Oh, you always do.
I love that about you.
And that's why everyone in
town trusts you to take a chance.
The one thing I have
never seen you do
is give up on a problem
before you find a solution.
What do you mean?
Well, you've calculated Tyler's
threat, and the value of the game,
but binomial distribution
doesn't consider the third factor.
That as long as you and I have each
other, we are not afraid to be stupid.
You're bat shit crazy.
JERRY: Oh, there's Steve.
We're heading to Massachusetts.
Ha-ha! I see you!
Go get 'em, boy!
Whoa! Yeah, let's do this!
Marge! Give me five.
[LAUGHS] Jerry!
You're a madman. Pound me.
I thought it was supposed to
be more without the split.
Did you check for
other claims? Yes. There was one.
Where? Sunderland.
He called your bluff, okay? There's
nothing we can do but accept it.
If there's a roll down,
he's going to play.
Unless we create
the roll down. What?
It takes weeks for
a roll down, right?
I mean, WinFall takes
in 100 grand a day,
and then when it hits two million,
we know a roll down is coming in,
and everybody starts betting, and
Benjamin Button gets in his truck.
But if we create a roll down when
nobody expects it, we take it all.
We squeeze the other
players out.
We use our hack
to track the pot,
we wait for it to hit
a million before a drawing,
and then we bet a million in one
day. I mean, we own the game.
And where do we get $1 million?
As you can see
by our returns, it works.
And with more capital,
we can control the game.
Is your dad in on this?
No. He... Um...
Thinks you're going to college?
He thinks I'm studying
to be a lawyer, like him.
But last time I checked, my father
never made $1 million in a night.
We have 14 hours
to pull this off.
Get to your location and don't
leave until you print all your tickets.
Some locations might push back
on printing all day, but do not let them.
They work for us.
Let's ride.
GIRL: Yes! BOY 1: Whoo!
BOY 2: Yeah.
Hey. What happens
if somebody wins the jackpot
and we lose $1 million?
Beyond dropping out of school
because I blew my entire tuition?
I think one of those investors
might actually kill me.
You all right? JERRY: Yeah, I got it.
Oh. Okay.
I got the key.
What the heck?
BILL: Hey!
We missed it!
What, someone actually
hit all six numbers?
No. No. It rolled down.
No, that's impossible.
It's only the second week.
It never rolls down
before three.
It rolled down last night,
and we missed it.
The Harvard group
triggered it on their own.
MARGE: How would they know
how much to bet?
The lottery doesn't post
the amount...
Well, they knew.
Where are you going, Jerry?
TYLER: It's on the freakin' news.
The lottery didn't even see it coming.
This is so epic.[ERIC LAUGHS]
Hey, Jerry.
What, did you come ridin' in
on your tractor
to come give me a whoopin'?
Believe me, I wanted to.
Part of me still does.
But then on the long drive here,
well, most of that just,
poof, went away.
And I realized that I wasn't
really angry at you.
I'm disappointed.
Aw, you're disappointed in me?
No, not you.
You're insignificant.
No, I was disappointed that I let a
selfish kid like you get to me. Huh.
I was always good with math,
but it took a long time for me
to figure people out.
So, tell us, Jerry,
what did you figure out?
That the solution isn't numbers.
You told me that I was playing the
lottery because I had nothing else.
But the reason you won't share the
pot is because you have nothing else.
You think being the smartest
guy in the room is all that matters.
But it turns out
it's this room that matters.
All these bright, young people
helping you get rich.
How are you helping them?
Guess you haven't
run the math out on that, huh?
Anyway... my tractor's running.
I wish you all the best of luck.
What? Just get
back to counting.
If the Harvard team can trigger
a roll down, they run the game.
So we trigger our own roll down.
Yeah, we have enough cash.
Because it's not fair
to the regular players.
He's right.
It's not who we are.
But we're so close.
I mean, downtown is back,
the jazz fest is coming.
If we keep winning, we could
actually hire somebody to play there.
You should get Steely Dan.
That is an amazing idea.
We should get Steely Dan.
We can't win if we can't play.
Well, this just sucks.
The lottery isn't stopping us,
but a bunch of college kids are?
Huh, that's a good point. What is? I wasn't
making a point.
Why isn't the lottery
stopping them?
It's because they don't care.
That could be our answer.
Always happy to meet with our
loyal players, Mr. and Mrs. Selbee.
Oh, please. "Jerry
and Marge" is fine.
What can we help you with?
JERRY: So here's the thing.
The state lottery was losing
money a few years ago,
and hardly anybody
was winning the jackpot,
so Mega Millions ate your lunch.
Then along comes WinFall,
and all that changes.
You folks made millions,
before you realized
there was a flaw in the math.
You probably panicked at first,
because you knew that
once everybody saw it,
that the game would collapse.
Except they didn't see it.
Only me and a few kids
from Harvard.
Which meant that we were
pushing millions into the game,
and, boy, sent your profits
through the roof.
So, all of a sudden, your
mistake became your windfall.
I gave him that line.
Yeah, she sure did,
and it's a dandy.[ALL CHUCKLE]
So, what exactly do you want?
We'd like the website to show
the size of the jackpot.
That prevents any group
from forcing a roll down.
Makes it fair for anybody
who plays.
And we would like two machines
at the Liquor Hut in Sunderland.
So we can be together.
These are our golden years.
We'll take care of it.
Yeah, we'll be making
another play soon.
That's great
to hear. Yeah. Talk soon.
He's wants to bring in
other partners from the firm.
Dude, we might not
ever need a real job.
They posted the jackpot. What?
The lottery changed the website.
You can track the jackpot online.
We can't roll it down anymore.
Shit. Shit.
All right, let's break this guy.
He wants a war?
We'll give him one.
You want some nachos? Uh, no.
Yeah, I'll try some.
You know, I'm good.
Where is everyone?
We're supposed to be betting.
Dude, it's over.
Nobody wants to do it anymore.
What? Why? We're winning.
No. We're assholes.
And that doesn't work
for anybody but you.
Fine. I'll do it on my own.
GIRL 1: It's gonna be insane.
GIRL 2: Crazy.
BOY 1: I told you
we should have...
BOY 2: Did you get
the pretzels? GIRL 3: Yeah.
This just came for you. Thank you.
Oh. Finally.
[SCOFFS] Like I'd get
excited about that.
No. State lottery commission.
They don't want to talk to me,
but anybody that wins above
60,000 is in the public record.
You just have to
submit a request.
Which I did, for every drawing
in the last six months.
Gerald Selbee,
every three weeks.
MARTIN: Tyler Langford.
Same drawings.
There's another one.
Tyler Langford.
Tyler Langford.
Okay, Tyler Langford, I see you.
Best euro I've ever spent.
Thanks, Raj. RAJ: Thank you.
Okay, girl.
Darn! JERRY: Whoa!
Try one more time, sweetheart.
Like a kangaroo.[JERRY LAUGHS]
Hey, would you
hand me a 10 mil? Yeah.
Ten mil.
Here you go. Thank you.
You won't even buy
yourself a new truck?
Nah. This one works.
Does it?
Not all the time. But I think
that's why I like it.
You know what?
I did buy this.
I counted nickels with you because
it was something I understood.
I didn't know a better way
to spend time with you.
I just knew that I wanted to.
You know how it works?
Well, I assume you create
spin, which gives it a third axis,
so that the wind can
offset the gravity.
Yeah, that's it.
Just like that.
Wanna test that theory?
All right.
Fingers on the laces.Yeah.
Oh, well. Not bad.
I'll work it out. I know you will.
Oh, that's it. MAYA: Mr. Selbee?
Maya Jordon. Boston Globe.
I'd like to ask you some questions
about GS Investment Strategies.
So, you and your wife count
tickets in a hotel room for 11 days?
That's so much work.
It doesn't seem like work.
I've worked all my life.
This is different.
This is very different.
You send it in yet?
They helped their entire town.
The flaw isn't the story.
Well, this can't be
a puff piece.
I need a headline.
[SIGHS] well, we do well on this
one, we won't need the game anymore.
You know, I was thinking,
if we're going to have
a fund for the town,
managing it, it's gonna be
a full-time job.
Hey, you think we can get one of
those offices downtown, like Steve's?
I already got us one
right next to his.
You did? [LAUGHS]Yes!
In fact, his Corvette is actually
in one of our parking spots.
JERRY: Well, we'll have to
take care of that.
MARGE: What? They're moving out
the WinFall machine.
Hey, hey! Hey. Hey!
Hey. Bill! Bill,
what happened?
The lottery suspended
our license.
Why? You didn't see the article?
Hey, buddy. How's school? Uh, Dad.
What are you doing here? You're famous.
Great move, genius.
Let's go. Pack up your stuff.
You're coming home.
The high-volume betting groups
discovered a flaw in the game
and took advantage of it, to
the tune of millions of dollars.
Lottery officials expressed
their surprise at the discovery
and announced they will phase
out the game after tonight's drawing.
Moving on to our next...[TV STOPS]
The last roll down was today.
You could've gotten your final win.
Yes. But even if
we found a place to bet,
it wouldn't have felt the same.
It was more than
just a game to him.
He finally got to use his gift
to connect to people.
The shareholders
are having a meeting tonight
and were wondering if
you could stop by.
Are they upset?
If I told you that,
you wouldn't come.
JERRY: I tried to answer all
their questions in the newsletter.
I don't think they know
how to open the newsletter.
Well, they don't have to
worry about anything.
We didn't break any laws.
Holy... It's jazz fest? What?
MAN: Jerry! Marge! JERRY: Huh.
MAN: Yeah!
BILL: Come on!
Let's do this!
Yeah! Okay, right?
Jer and Marge!
How did you...
We missed the final play.
Oh, no, we did not.
Yeah, everybody took a store,
Dad. All across the state.
We had a bus and everything.
What? Oh.
You didn't have to do that.
You did it for us.
Why wouldn't we do it for you?
And don't worry, we left
you two the counting part.
Hey, Raj!
I would help,
but, uh, I can't count.
HOWARD: Yes, you can. I can
count. I just don't like to count.
This town isn't just a newspaper
article, Jerry. It's all of us.
And you brought this town
back from the dead
when nobody else could, because
you don't think we're just numbers.
No. No.
You're family.
Ladies and gentlemen,
please put your hands together
for Tori Kelly!
Stars shining bright
Above you
Night breezes seem
To whisper "I love you..."
Shall we?
It is jazz fest.
Birds singing in the
Sycamore tree
Dream a little dream of me
Say nighty-night
And kiss me
Just hold me tight
And tell me you'll miss me
While I'm alone and blue
As can be
Dream a little dream of me
Stars fading
But I linger on, dear...
Hey, Steve. Hey, Rhoda.
Hey, you know, I've been working
on that Eat, Pray, Love trip for you.
I got some great rates.
Ooh. That's exciting.
Thank you.Yeah.
Yeah, sure.
Um, do you want to dance?
Um, yeah. I mean, do you?
Yes. That's why I asked.
Right. That does make
sense.[CHUCKLES] Yeah.
But in your dreams
Whatever they be
Dream a little dream
Of me...
How badly do you want to go
and just count all those tickets?
JERRY: It's taking everything
in me not to do it right now.
I'm going to miss it. Yeah, yeah.
Me, too.
I kinda wish we'd won
the jackpot. Just once.
I won the jackpot
before we ever started.
Stars fading
But I linger on, dear
Still craving your kiss...
BILL: Jerry and Marge
dissolved our betting group
when the WinFall game
was phased out.
They used most of their lottery winnings
to start a construction loan business
for the town of Evart.
Like many of their friends
and neighbors,
they also put their children and
grandchildren through school.
I myself invested
in a very luxurious man cave.
Whoo! Ah!
BILL: Jerry did finally give in
and buy himself a new truck,
which was actually
slightly used,
because he calculated
that was a smarter purchase.
And he would know.
His lottery calculation won
a grand total of $27 million.
Okay, let's go count.
Dream a little dream of me
He made how much?