John Bronco (2020) Movie Script

[WARM COUNTRY MUSIC]
[]
SINGER: Aah
He was cut from stone
With unbreakable bones
Diamonds for eyes
And titanium thighs
He had the world by the mane
So he couldn't complain
And they call him
John Bronco
- Ooh.
[INVESTIGATIVE MUSIC]
NARRATOR: Who was John Bronco?
ANNOUNCER: I'm told his name
is John Bronco.
NARRATOR: How did he have such
a major impact on the world?
Would you welcome John Bronco.
NARRATOR: How does a man
who enthralled audiences
over American airwaves
for over 30 years
just disappear?
REPORTER: John Bronco has disappeared.
- When I tell people that
I'm a John Bronco expert,
a lot of times they're like,
"Oh, John Bronco.
"Was he the guy in the old Ford commercials?
The spokesperson?"
And, uh, I'm like, "Well...
[CHUCKLES]
Not just a spokesperson."
That'd being like saying
I Can't Believe It's Not Butter
is just margarine.
Which, I guess it is,
but it's the most iconic margarine,
uh, and that's the reason why
I brought up the margarine.
- [SIGHS]
I'd have to say
a couple of dozen at least.
'Cause that's all you have out there.
Just you and your shoes.
Oh, man.
What a move.
But nothing compared
to the stuff John Bronco did.
[QUICKLY] Everyone in the spokesperson world
looked up to John Bronco.
And he set the model
for how you represent a brand.
This is the Micro Machine man
presenting the midget miniature
motorcade of Micro Machine.
I mean, let's face it, I especially admired
his cool laid-back demeanor
which is a real influence on me
and my style as a pitch man.
- Ah, nope, that would be like
asking George Clooney to do
something ten times less attractive.
I got one speed here, pal.
Now the Ford archives are huge.
We've got records going back
to Model A, Model T,
The Mustang,
drawings of the F-150,
everything that you could think of,
but most of it is John Bronco stuff.
So this is all--
all John Bronco stuff.
All John Bronco stuff.
Got a bunch of his hats in here.
Bunch of boots that he wore down here.
This is the John Bronco stuff
that can't be touched by light.
Kinda spooky.
Here we go.
This is the first known photo of John.
Look at that.
Yeah, that's a real man
right there.
[COUNTRY MUSIC]
[CHEERING]
[]
- I remember the first time
I ever laid eyes on John.
He was...
ah, just a rodeo rider
without a penny to his name,
but I knew we were destined to be together.
KAREEM: From the time
he started out in rodeo,
John Bronco was considered
a sort of a Renaissance man.
You knew he was destined
for something special,
it was just a matter
of being in the right place
at the right time.
NARRATOR: The place was Baja, California.
PERSON: Baja!
NARRATOR: The time, 1965.
ANNOUNCER: Modern day
gladiators prepare to battle
against the rugged obstacles
of the lower Californian peninsula.
It is a race, but the course
resembles a labyrinth
designed by the Devil himself.
NARRATOR: Ford was bringing
an as yet unnamed vehicle
to the race in Baja,
and they wanted to win.
After World War II,
both Jeep and International Harvester
introduced a utility vehicle,
but it was kinda like riding
around in a tumble dryer.
Ford had the idea
to design a sport utility vehicle,
one that could go to
the grocery store one minute
and off-road the next,
and they figured that Baja
would be the perfect place
for them to test it out.
Now apparently, Lee Iacocca
goes to his people and says,
[GRUFF VOICE] "Just get me the toughest
son of a bitch in town,"
and it turns out the toughest
son of a bitch in Baja that day
was in fact--
[GASPS]
- Yeah, I--yeah,
I was gonna say John Bronco.
ANNOUNCER: And out of the gate,
he's the number one rodeo rider,
John Bronco!
Well, uh, we were in Mexico for an event,
and, uh, this guy from the Ford Motor Company
comes up to me, and he goes,
uh, "Do you know any race car drivers?"
And I figured if anyone could do it,
John could do it.
[]
John didn't even have
a driver's license.
I told him,
"Ride it like it's a horse."
And that clicked for him.
ANNOUNCER: And gaining
is the newcomer in the Ford.
I'm told his name is John Bronco.
- I don't know if he even
knew who he was racing
or where he was going.
ANNOUNCER: And the Ford
is now passing
the favored Ken Stills for the lead.
John Bronco is in the lead,
and he ain't giving it up!
Ford, Bronco at the wheel.
- He drove nonstop,
36 hours.
- And he won.
ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen,
your winner,
John Bronco!
NARRATOR: A new racing
champion had been crowned,
and the world was about
to be introduced
to John Bronco.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
Tell me, how does it feel to win
the most important off-road rally race
in the world?
- Are you shitting me, right?
- I am not.
You have just won the race!
- No, like hell I did.
- No, no, you really won.
So tell me,
how's it feel to go from a nobody
to a racing hero?
Well, I--I ain't no hero,
but uh,
but I ain't no nobody neither now.
I'm just a-a country boy
in dirty boots
who's out there every day busting his ass
trying to make a living.
- Well, you must be exhausted
after that grueling drive.
Well, you ever tried to tame a wild buck?
I work five day shifts,
14 hours a day on a factory floor.
- Never done that.
- Well, driving through the
desert with no food or water
don't scare you that much.
It ain't shit compared to what
the average working man does
day in and day out.
So if you about to give me
a trophy or something,
why don't you keep it?
Take it back to that fancy-ass
country club you belong to.
Let honest hardworking Americans like me
go eat some fudge.
How 'bout that?
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
Huh? How 'bout that?
DONOVAN: That all struck a
chord with the average Johnny,
present company included.
Except for the part where he said,
"Eat some fudge."
I think that was a heatstroke thing.
Eat some fudge!
ALL: Eat some fudge, eat some fudge...
BEBE: The country went nuts
for John's speech.
I mean, it really hit a nerve.
- Yeah, it's one of
the greatest underdog stories
of all time.
- 'Scuse me, I didn't give you
my sunglasses, did I?
- I-I don't think so.
- And to top it off,
he did the whole race in reverse.
- I got to go back and get 'em!
[CROWD CHEERS]
DONOVAN: Actually beat his own time.
Somehow he did it even faster.
NARRATOR: People wanted to know,
who was this mystery man,
and what was this mystery car
he was driving?
DONOVAN: Ford knew they had
a big star on their hands.
You know what they did?
They told John that they were
gonna name the car after him.
Seemed pretty obvious to me.
Bronco is a great name for a truck,
and come to think of it,
it was the perfect name
for a rodeo rider,
but that was his given name:
John Bronco.
It's called an aptronym.
Like, uh, Cecil Fielder
the baseball player,
or Jude Law the judge.
Is there an actor named Jude Law?
- Oh, I guess I should've said,
uh,
Orlando Bloom the florist.
- Really?
What about Brad Pitt,
the peach pie maker?
- Absolutely not.
You never saw that commercial?
Oh, hi! I'm Bradley Pitt,
the peach pie guy.
Come on down to The Peach Pit
and get yourself some pie.
- Yeah.
Why?
The point is, Ford found its pitchman,
and it was John Bronco.
[FANFARE MUSIC]
ANNOUNCER: Bronco.
Bronco.
Bronco.
First four-wheel drive sportscar.
Blazing a new trail of excitement,
the new Ford Bronco
for 1966.
- Hi, I'm John Bronco.
I know good horse when I see one.
Now this may not be a horse,
but it sure does buck like one.
So if you're looking
for a horse that's a truck,
this is it.
The new Ford Bronco.
I know it's not a real horse.
[CHUCKLES]
I'm a Bronco!
Are you?
DONOVAN: On the surface,
it wasn't anything special.
Then all of a sudden,
the calls started coming in.
"Who is this country boy in dirty boots?"
[LAUGHING]
"Where'd he come from?
Why is his boot so dirty?"
[LAUGHS]
[MUMBLES] I don't know.
- This chart right here is Bronco sales.
This is right after
the first commercial aired,
and in this chart, up is good.
- And so Lee Iacocca said,
[SQUEAKY VOICE] "I want John Bronco
in every commercial,
"on every billboard,
in every radio spot I got."
And when Lee Iacocca speaks, people listen.
Steak and potatoes may feed my body,
but a Bronco feeds my soul.
Hee-ya!
DONOVAN: Bronco the man
and Bronco the car
both became a sensation.
- Be an American.
Be a Bronco.
KAREEM: John Bronco?
He was all over my TV set back then.
- John was on TV, like,
ten times day.
We had to fly all over the world to do press.
[CHUCKLES]
We spent a lot of time in Iceland
where the Bronco sold like hotcakes.
Even today, they say Iceland
is the place where the Bronco never died.
I still get Icelandic underwear
in the mail for John.
[LAUGHS]
Mostly women's.
The new Ford Bronco,
'cause daddy wants a pony too.
BEBE: Oh, he came up
with so much stuff for them.
They would just roll cameras
and let him talk.
KAREEM: John starred in them,
but I heard he directed them too.
- This thing's tough.
[GRUNTS]
John Bronco tough.
He made me want to buy a Bronco.
What's the fun of being a Bronco
if you can't share it?
NARRATOR: John Bronco
was a hit for Ford,
but they soon learned that his talents
didn't just stop at commercial acting.
He even wrote a jingle for the car.
[UPBEAT COUNTRY MUSIC]
JOHN: Mama, she named me Bronco
'Cause I'm tough as nails
There's no place I can't go
DONOVAN: I mean, everybody's
jaw just hit the floor.
Nobody knew he could sing.
- And the track was so good,
they released it as a single.
DONOVAN: They were playing it everywhere.
JOHN: I'm Bronco, John Bronco
- People were doing the Bronco
all over the world.
It was the number one
on the Billboard chart
for three weeks.
- Normally, you get a celebrity
to be your spokesperson.
This was the first time a spokesperson
became a celebrity.
I mean, that just doesn't happen.
It'd be like Colonel Sanders
going on Jay Leno.
You see what I'm saying?
Do you [BLEEP] get it?
Would you welcome, John Bronco.
[APPLAUSE]
DANIEL: He did "Carson,"
he did "Laugh-In,"
he did "Dick Cavett."
He was everywhere.
I booked him three TV guest spots
in one week.
He's the first guy to ever do that.
- To be honest, I don't think
they would wear this
on the range, would they?
Only you could pull that off, Johnny.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
We were living the American dream.
We got married,
moved into our dream house,
we talked about having kids.
Then...
[MUSIC WINDS DOWN]
He met Bo.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
DONOVAN: John and Bo met on the set
of a movie she was doing.
John had a small role
as a lifeguard.
Uh, the moment their eyes locked,
it was instant chemistry.
[]
- He was married?
No, that definitely never came up.
You know, I was young and just having fun
and I didn't think too much back then,
so when I met a guy
who also didn't think too much, sparks flew.
And then he started dating Bo Derek.
To me, it just seemed like
John Bronco had the world by the plums,
and this is after I had won
three championships.
I have to say, he's the only guy that
I ever asked for an autograph.
- John sent me a message from New York.
It said,
"The disco floor
is calling these old boots to boogie."
[]
That was John's way of saying it's over.
NARRATOR: The country boy
in dirty boots
had become a city slicker
in a shiny jacket.
Even worse, John started
to focus on his own brand.
He had a cologne, exercise tape,
breakfast cereal, coloring book,
Bronco-Vision,
an early video format competitor
to VHS and Betamax,
and a video game,
"Baja John Bronco."
[CHIPTUNE MUSIC]
It was sold very much as a racing game,
but it was in fact,
a taco assembly game.
The goal and rules
were both very confusing.
I only won once.
I just made a pretty standard fish taco
with mango salsa.
The weird thing is, I'd made
that same taco once before,
and lost.
DIGITIZED JOHN: Messy taco.
Messy taco.
[FAILURE MUSIC]
- I thought it was great
doing all those products.
I mean, the cash was rolling in,
but John was--
his whole life was on the film set, you know?
He couldn't take it.
DIRECTOR: Action!
What better way to spend your day off
than having fun in a Ford Bronco?
I don't catch Frisbees, man.
I don't--I don't like Frisbees
because, uh, I don't like
things coming at my face.
And I saw a man once
who got his head chopped off with a Frisbee.
Yeah, cut it right off,
just like that.
DIRECTOR: Action.
What better way to spend your day off
than having fun
in the Ford Bronco.
I told you I don't catch Frisbees, man!
[GRUNTS]
I don't catch Frisbees, all right!?
[HEAVY BREATHING]
Take this [BLEEP] beer.
NARRATOR: To alleviate
some of the pressure
of being the lead pitchman,
Ford decided to have John costar
in a Ford Ranger commercial
with college quarterback
sensation, Doug Flutie,
and the results would haunt him forever.
- You know, when it comes
to being a champion,
size isn't everything.
Who knows better than Doug Flutie?
The main thing is,
you gotta be tough
like this small-sized Ford Ranger.
Okay, go long.
And the Ranger's cab is high and wide.
[WHISTLE BLOWING]
Hey, Doug, can you do it again?
What do you want, another miracle?
- Yes, I do--
[GRUNTS]
SINGERS: Ford trucks!
The best never rest
KAREEM: Doug Flutie had one of the
best arms in football.
That football was basically
coming out of a shotgun.
[SHOTGUN LOADING]
- Aah!
BO: Not only did the impact
knock John unconscious,
his face was messed up beyond recognition.
John was put into a medical coma.
That was rough.
DONOVAN: He had to have plastic surgery,
and by plastic, I mean,
an experimental surgery
where they literally gave him
a plastic face.
He never aged past that day.
Actually, now,
it's a pretty common surgery.
Paul Rudd, Tom Cruise,
Macaulay Culkin,
they've all had their faces locked in.
And me.
I actually just celebrated
my 91st birthday last week.
NARRATOR: John's accident
also delayed production
of a new commercial
for the recently announced Bronco II.
So against doctors' orders,
he checked himself out
of the hospital early
to resume the campaign.
He was still out of it.
I think he had a lot of drugs
still left in his system
from the hospital.
John pitched Ford a bunch of ideas
for the Bronco II commercial,
even though he clearly had
a little brain damage.
Aah!
And they rejected 'em all,
so John rented a warehouse
in San Pedro
and shot it himself.
[BEEPING]
[NEW WAVE MUSIC]
- Push Rod.
[]
Crankshaft.
[]
Sparkplug.
Bronco.
- Deux.
- Seatbelts.
- Bucket seat.
- Bronco.
- II!
- Do it.
- [GASPS]
- Um...
S-stop that.
Bronco II.
SINGERS: Ford trucks!
The best never rest
- Oh, the Bronco II commercial?
What was that shit?
- He didn't even show
the [BLEEP] car.
It was brilliant.
A battle between light and dark.
Angels and demons.
Kind of like my Nestl's Crunch commercial.
S-Crunch-ous
When it crunches
ALL: That's why I love
Nestl Crunch
- Well, the Bronco II didn't
take off like the original.
It sold well in Iceland, though.
Ideal for the rough terrain,
and they like things that are
a little off, you know?
Anyway, the rest of the world...
[SIGHS]
They didn't really get
behind the Bronco II, and...
[SOMBER MUSIC]
A lot of people blamed John for that.
NARRATOR: John Bronco
began to question everything:
his sense of self,
his place in the world,
and his decision
to spend $475,000
of his own money on that commercial.
He retreated from the public eye
until 1995.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
When you're in a slump,
you gotta go back to the basics.
For John, that was Baja.
- I had a bad feeling
about him going back to Baja.
He wasn't in the right frame
of mind to race that course.
John, it must be rather emotional to be here.
- [LAUGHS]
- I mean, after all,
yesterday's big announcement.
- Yeah, it, uh...
It--it--it is, uh...
What announcement are you talking about?
- From Ford.
That they'll be discontinuing the Bronco.
REPORTER: After 30 years and
over a million Broncos sold,
the iconic SUV
will drive off
into the sunset.
[SOMBER FLUTE MUSIC]
- I'm...
- I'm sorry, am I just telling
you this for the first time?
- Uh...
No.
No, no, no, no, no.
I knew that.
I knew that, and it's, uh,
it's good.
John didn't know.
- Did you think for a second
that I didn't know?
[LAUGHS]
Yeah, I knew!
He definitely didn't know.
- Everything there is to know
about a Bronco, I know it.
- [LAUGHS]
Yeah.
- I get it all first.
Everything first.
At least I'm not the first to tell you
about Bo Derek dating
Doug Flutie then, right?
[LAUGHS]
[]
- Uh...
Yeah.
I knew that too.
Bo had been seeing Doug Flutie.
John had no idea.
We'd been dating for a long time by then,
and John was such a sweet guy,
I just didn't know how to tell him,
and um...
[SIGHS]
That's why I got Doug
to try and kill him with that football.
[SHOTGUN COCKS]
- Aah!
I mean, what was I supposed to do?
It was Doug Flutie, man.
We were in love.
DANIEL: I think people thought
that he already knew
about the news.
- Why, why, why?
DANIEL: But to tell him
like that, live on air...
- Why?
- That's a Chevy move.
That's some GM shit.
DONOVAN: Someone should've stopped him
from getting in that car
and running that race.
What's your point?
ANNOUNCER: And it's John Bronco
approaching mile marker 635,
now falling back into 15th position.
Bronco's got his work cut out for him
if he wants to get back into this thing.
Whoop, where'd he go?
Let's go to a different angle here.
Uh, this is odd.
We seem to have completely
lost view of the truck.
I'm sure we'll track him down.
For now, let's cut back to Jeff.
NARRATOR: But they never did
track him down.
- John Bronco has disappeared.
At the Baja 1,000,
somehow he seemed to vanish into thin air.
Now you see it, now you don't.
Sources say he was quite distraught
when he took off in the race,
something that has absolutely
nothing to do with me
or our interview right beforehand.
- Where did Bronco go?
A nation waits with bated breath
for the return of a folk hero.
- When the Ford Bronco died,
part of John Bronco died.
Yeah.
Well, t-they did make one more commercial
before that with John,
but they never aired it.
ANNOUNCER: Hit the road
in the new Ford Bronco.
Its spacious cab has plenty of room
for when you and your passengers
just need to get away.
With best-in-class MPG,
this baby can run for miles and miles.
Plus, with pricing so low,
it should be against the law.
When people think of the Ford Bronco,
like the one beside me right here,
they will always think
of one guy in particular:
Me.
John Bronco!
- Yeah, that never aired...
[SIGHS]
Because he disappeared.
So timing wasn't right.
[CHUCKLES]
NARRATOR: How is it possible
to disappear in the modern world
in front of thousands of spectators
and hundreds of cameras?
- It's like losing
Santa Claus, you know?
Or Chef Boyardee.
CROWD: Find John Bronco.
Find John Bronco.
INTERVIEWEE: He was the last person on TV
that you could actually believe.
- Yeah, we were competitors,
but we respected each other.
I mean, I certainly didn't want
to see him disappear.
If I'd known he was gonna disappear,
I never would've tried to kill him.
[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC]
- Never found his body.
NARRATOR: Over the years,
there were numerous accounts
of John Bronco sightings,
but none were ever confirmed.
If he was still out there,
why he couldn't he be tracked down?
- Sure, sightings of John
Bronco pop up here and there.
You know, people claiming that
they saw him breaking horses
or driving by him on the highway.
I wish I knew where he was.
I mean, Ford's called me
every week looking for the guy.
I got this in the mail the other day.
It says, "John Bronco is alive in Iceland."
They don't mean that literally of course.
NARRATOR: Or did they?
"John Bronco is alive in Iceland."
John Bronco died.
- Iceland is the place
where the Bronco never died.
"Alive in Iceland."
- He still lives here.
- Ooh.
[INVESTIGATIVE MUSIC]
[]
Are you serious?
Is she pointing at his [BLEEP] house?
[LAUGHS]
That's--
How the [BLEEP] did people
not know about this?
What the [BLEEP]?
He's been there for years.
Oh, my God.
That's...
Can I keep this?
Can I keep the iPad?
[EXCITING COUNTRY MUSIC]
[]
Hello?
- No.
No.
No, no.
No speak-a the English.
Does he live around here?
- [SOUTHERN ACCENT] No, no, no,
he doesn't--no. No, go away.
Aw, damn.
All right, you got me.
Hi.
[LAUGHS]
It's me. It's John Bronco.
- Yeah, yeah.
It's me.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
Ow, damn, this house is small.
Uh, y'all come on in.
[MELANCHOLY PIANO MUSIC]
- [SIGHS]
Should I sit right here?
[]
[SIGHS]
- So, um...
Well, that's always a good place to start.
Well, a magician never reveals his secrets.
- God, you guys are good!
God!
Yeah, that's what I did.
Ha, you got me.
I dug a big hole,
and I drove right into it.
Next.
- Well, I just got tired
of the roller coaster, man.
The whole fame game,
I just had to--
had to step off that train.
What?
Take me.
I just have to get my go bag.
Now, do they have a pitchman yet, huh?
'Cause I've been coming up with
all kinds of ideas out here.
All kinds of ideas.
I mean, I've been thinking
of some gems, you know?
Kinda like how fjord and Ford sound alike.
Like--like--like,
hop off the fjord
and into a Ford.
You know, something like that.
I ain't got it all worked out,
but that's what I'm thinking, you know?
Here we go.
Tell me on the way to the airport.
Let's go.
FEMALE REPORTER: John Bronco is back.
He was found in Iceland.
MALE REPORTER: The beloved
pitchman is slated
to return to the States sometime tomorrow.
A homecoming is planned
at Ford Headquarters
in Dearborn, Michigan
to celebrate the icon's return.
[EXCITING COUNTRY MUSIC]
[]
NARRATOR: With a new Bronco in the works,
the people at Ford were eagerly
awaiting John's return.
- There he is.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
- Bronco!
- [LAUGHS]
- Whoo!
- Yeah!
- [INAUDIBLE]
This changed.
[NOSTALGIC MUSIC]
I can't believe anybody'd
keep all this stuff.
[]
Wow.
Lookie there.
Yeah, it don't look anything like me.
[CHUCKLES]
Wait a minute.
- [LAUGHS]
Look familiar?
- That's my girl.
I know her.
I know this old girl right here.
This is really something, y'all.
This is something else, ain't it?
- How would you like to take
a look at the new Bronco?
Uh, well,
sure.
All right, it's right through here.
- [SIGHS]
[BEEPING]
[SIGHS]
- [CHUCKLES]
Oh, yeah, sorry, guys.
No camera crews allowed in here.
This is for John's eyes only.
So,
here it is, John,
the brand-new Bronco.
[SHEET FALLS]
JOHN: Holy [BLEEP] shit!
God damn, that is a bona fide
ass kicker right there.
Look at that.
EMPLOYEE: Sure is.
JOHN: Holy, [BLEEP] balls.
You really went with the classic design?
EMPLOYEE: Yep.
JOHN: Like a [BLEEP] moon vehicle meets
a goddamn horse is what it is.
Now there's a 2-door
and a 4-door.
EMPLOYEE: That's right.
JOHN: Shut your butts!
And who's this little guy right here?
Look at you,
you sporty little [BLEEP].
That's almost like--
like this Bronco
gave birth to that Bronco.
I thought for sure
you would [BLEEP] this up,
but god damn, man.
Oh, y'all, this just brings
back so many memories.
Can I--can I touch it?
EMPLOYEE: No, no,
actually, John, you can't.
This is just a clay model.
So I really wouldn't--
- Just let me--
just let me have this moment.
Mmm, mmm, mmm!
EMPLOYEE: No, no, no,
no, John, no, no, no,
John, please, no!
[SIGHS]
[SIGHS]
Uh, not bad.
Classic but modern.
Well done.
It was, uh...
It was good to see.
Uh, yeah, I kissed it a little bit.
In the front and the back,
on the side.
- Regretting leaving?
No, no, no,
I don't regret leaving,
I just, uh,
maybe I regret
being gone for so long, you know?
I mean,
maybe I could've been gone for a--
a couple weeks maybe?
You know, like a--
like a month maybe.
I don't know,
maybe, like, five--five weeks.
Something like that.
But coulda, shoulda, woulda, ya know?
That's just the way that, uh,
the cookie crumbles sometimes.
It just, uh...
I made some mistakes.
That's for sure.
And I might have some regrets
of being gone
for 25 years, you know?
Living in the middle of nowhere.
[SOMBER MUSIC]
I mean, I love the Ford Bronco.
Man, it changed my life.
And being back here's like...
It's like coming home.
And I let a lot of good people down.
A lot of people,
but one person in particular...
There was one that was always there for me.
[]
I sure would like to see her again.
[]
[SIGHS]
I mean, I miss him.
I've...
I wish I'd gotten to see him
one more time.
NARRATOR: What John didn't know
is that the crew had already arranged
for a special someone from his past...
- Everybody get in.
everybody get in.
NARRATOR: To be in Dearborn
that very day.
What about this,
you hop off a fjord and into a Ford.
Maybe instead of seat warmers,
you do seat coolers, you know?
Something to keep your ass c--
- John?
[ROMANTIC PIANO MUSIC]
[]
What's she doing here?
They told me you were alive.
[SIGHS]
Well, come here, John.
[]
- [MUMBLES]
No.
Just a hug for old time's sake?
You've got to get this woman away from me.
- I love you!
- She's got a fork!
- I wanna wear your skin!
- Get away from me!
- John!
- Get her, security, get her!
- I just wanna wear you!
- Get out!
- Aah!
Did you get the blood I sent you?
It was big vial.
- Get away from me!
- We belong together, John!
- We don't belong nowhere!
BEBE: I love you!
- I don't love you!
Keep going!
BEBE: No!
[SCREAMS]
Why'd you bring my stalker here?
- No, that wasn't my wife.
That woman's crazy now.
I've had restraining order
against her for years!
[OFF-KEY BANJO MUSIC]
[]
Bo, man!
Obviously I was talking about Bo Derek.
Who you think?
Bo.
[BLEEP] Bo, man.
Bo!
Is Bo coming?
- Hey, John,
why don't I walk you through
what we're thinking for the new campaign.
[WARM MUSIC]
They offered him the whole kit and caboodle.
Face of the campaign.
[CHUCKLES]
Everything he always wanted.
- I just need to go outside.
[GRUNTS]
- Take your time.
- [SIGHS]
- Maybe it's like they say,
you can't go home again.
You can't put together all the pieces
exactly like they used to be,
but maybe
you can make something new
from the memories of the past,
and maybe that's enough
just to know that
you haven't been forgotten.
Truth is, I've always been
a-a wild horse,
and I'm always gonna be a wild horse,
but I'll always be John.
Bronco.
I don't know where John went again.
Ford called and said
that the original Bronco
was missing from the museum.
[ROCK MUSIC]
JOHN: Hoo, ha
Wha
Hoo, watch this move
right here
Watch it, watch it
[]
Mama, she named me Bronco
[]
'Cause I'm tough as nails
There's no place I can't go
Yeah, I'm tougher
Than a head honcho
'Cause I stick it to the man
'Cause I'm Bronco
It's coming right at you,
it's as thin as piece of paper,
and it could hit you in the face.
I like to see things when they're coming.
I can't see a Frisbee.
Okay, let's see,
there's John Hamm the butcher.
There's Nicolas Cage the zookeeper.
There's Sean Penn the calligrapher.
Yeah, he invented that F
with the little thing on the end of it.
- This one didn't sell well,
'cause, um, the fudge there
looked like, uh,
two kind of weird pieces of shit.
JOHN: Seats so soft
You'll get a thank you
from yo' ass
My mama
I even remember the first thing
he said to me
that day when I met him.
He said,
"What's my line?"
JOHN: When I do something
I do with a gusto
Well, I bring all I got
Because I'm Bronco
I'm Bronco
John Bronco
I'm blagga, blagga,
blagga, blagga, blow
I'm Bronco
John Bronco
Yeah, I stick it to the man
'Cause I'm Bronco
Well, I bring all I got, ha!
And that's a lot
My name
Is John Bronco
Ha, heh, ha!
SINGER: Yeah, yeah, yeah
JOHN: JB, JB, JB, JB!
SINGER: Shi-bi-dee-doo-doo-doo
JOHN: Ha, just stick it to the man!
Nah
SINGER: Yeah, yeah, yeah
Mama named him Bronco
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
Mama named him Bronco
Mama named him--
JOHN: Shoo-doo-bee-doop
bee-doopy-doopy-doo
Go Bronco