Jonah: A VeggieTales Movie (2002) Movie Script
1
Now Billy Joe McGuffrey
was a really clumsy kid.
On the first day
of first grade
I'll tell you what he did.
He tripped over a pencil box,
Flew up in the air,
Landed on a kangaroo
who pulled out all his hair
He needed First aid
in the first grade.
First aid in the first grade.
First aid in the first grade.
You could a buy a zoo
With all the doctor bills
he paid!
Oh Billy Joe McGuffrey
Was a really clumsy kid.
On the second day of second grade
I'll tell you what he did.
He slipped on a banana peel,
Flew up in the sky,
Landed on a chimpanzee
Who poked him in the eye.
Route 59.
Where is Route 59?
First aid in the second grade.
First aid in the second grade.
You could a buy a zoo...
AAAAH! LIGHTS! AAAAH!
Now Billy Joe McGuffrey
Was a really clumsy kid.
Whoa... lights! Lights!
Where is that button?
He fell out of a fishing boat,
Splashed into the sea...
Switch! No! Where is it?
... Who bit him on the knee!
He needed First aid
in the third grade.
First aid in the third grade.
First aid in the third grade.
You could a buy a zoo
With all the doctor bills he paid!
I get to meet Twippo...
Twelfth grade!
Now Billy Joe McGuffrey
Was a really clumsy kid.
On the twelfth day of twelfth grade
I'll tell you what he did.
Walked into financial aid,
Fell and broke a bone,
Showed them all his bills
and Got a great big College Loan!
And he needed First aid in the twelfth grade.
First aid in the twelfth grade.
First aid in the twelfth grade.
You could a buy a zoo
with all the doctor bills he paid!
You could a buy a zoo
with all the doctor bills he paid!
Yay! Twippo! Let's do another Twippo song!
I love Twippo!
Me too!
But I'm the only one
who gets to meet him,
because I won
the Twippo Sweepstakes!
You don't have to rub it in!
It's great that you won the contest,
Laura, but let's try not to brag about it.
Nice one with the lights, Bob!
My pleasure.
For the next song, maybe I can
drive into the river!
Yeah!
Drive into the river Bob! Oh!
Drive into the river Bob...
Or maybe you could help me with the MAP!
Oh, I'm sorry.
Is there anything you want me to tell Twippo,
when I meet him?
Laura!
Ow!
My ticket!
Aaah! Quick! Get it!
The map!
Sorry!
AAAH!
My ticket!
Ahem... do you mind?
I'm stuck.
Whoooa!
Get it! Pick it up! Put it! Stick it in! Put it!
PORCUPINE!
Swish!
Whooa!...
Tree!...
Cabin!...
UNDERWEAR!
Heh-heh... Well I'm glad that's over!
Did you say something?
Oh...
... dear!
Aaaaaaaaah!!!!!!
Am I in heaven?
Smells like Wisconsin.
Well, nobody got hurt!
Aah-heh!
Wow. What a shot!
Eeh.
Hey!... What's that?
Oooooh.
What's "SEAFOO"?
Maybe it's like tofu...
...only saltier.
Aaahhhhh.
Oh yeah? Well, if it wasn't for you
we wouldn't be in this mess!
I said I was sorry.
I'll do better next time!
There isn't going to be a next time!
Mr. Bob, how are we going to get
to the Twippo concert?
Yeah!
We're going to miss the bald bunny song!
I don't know!
I don't know about any bald bunnies...
I'm a bald bunny...
Even if we make it to the concert,
I can't get in! I lost my ticket!
Serves you right!
It's your own fault
for waving it around in my face!
I have to go to the bathroom.
You know I'm usually
not that clumsy in the car...
Two flat tires.
Usually I'm quite dexterous.
How in the world are we going
to change two flat tires?
Where's the phone?
I lost my ticket!
If you hadn't been teasing me with it,
we wouldn't be in this mess, Laura!
Ahem... May we help you?
May I please use the bathroom?
Down the hall, first door on the left.
Thank you.
Oooh!
Captain Ahab's Moby Blaster!
My favorite!
What do you want?
Well, sirs, the Asparagus
hit me in the head with a guitar
and an angry mother porcupine shot out
our tires and one of her babies got me...
Ooh.
And I need to use your phone to call...
...A tow truck.
My wife.
I see.
Next to the Moby Blaster.
Thanks.
Well, in the meantime,
would you like to have a seat?
Maybe enjoy a nice combo platter?
Steak! Steak!
Eat it! Eat it!
Shrimp! Shrimp!
Need it! Need it!
Steak and Shrimp!
Steak and Shrimp!
Need to! Need to!
Eat it! Eat it!
Oh, ow, eeh, ow, eeh, ow!
Oh, ow, eeh, ow, eeh, ow!
Got to, got to, got to,
Get the steaky, wakey, shrimpy...
Do you prefer "poking" or "non-poking?"
Heh-heh-heh... non.
Ha-ha! Good one, Phillipe!
You are one clever pea, no?
Ho-ho-ho!
AAAH!
Whala!
A skewer for the scampi!
We are The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything...
We just stay home and lie around!
Please make yourselves comfortable.
I will be back to take your orders.
Why don't you two wait here.
I'm going to go call a tow truck.
Maybe we can still make it
to the concert on time.
Yeah, everyone but me...
Hey it's your own fault for teasing me!
You're just getting what you deserve!
Hmm!
I'm coming with you, Mr. Bob.
See, they got one guy.
All he does... he just folds these napkins.
Oh, the napkin guy.
He works at night after everybody's gone.
Yeah! You know, uh, he use to fold maps.
No, no!
Listen to me.
He takes one spoon,
he takes one knife and he takes one fork.
And he rolls it up in a napkin, just like this.
And makes it into that little swan shape.
Hey, could you pass the cheddar biscuits?
Excuse me!
AAAAAH!
How's it going?
Hey. What's up?
Who are you?
Uh, who us?
Yeah...
Oh!
We are "The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything!"
Oh you know that's right.
Nothing.
Zilch.
Nada.
Didn't you hear our song?
Well, yeah... but...
Look, Sonny... Can I call you Sonny?
Junior.
Hey! Pretty close!
Look, Junior, we couldn't help
but notice you were having a little thing
with your friend over there.
Yeah.
You weren't being very nice.
Well, it's her own fault!
She was teasing me and now
she's getting what she deserves!
Right.
Junior, we've seen these types
of situations before.
Happens all the time.
What you need is a little compassion.
...And maybe some scampi.
Hey, I saw that in the menu.
What is that?
What's compassion?
Ooh.
That's a hard question.
Mmm-hmm.
Well, compassion is when you see that
someone needs help,
and you want to help them!
That's what I thought you'd say.
They all do.
Yep.
We find it helpful to illustrate
with a little story.
A story?
Yep.
You know, we call ourselves
The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything,
but that's not entirely accurate.
Oh, yeah!
Remember when we did that one thing,
with that one guy?
Oh do I ever.
I remember it like it was yesterday...
Are you guys still doing that 'pirate thing?'
Arrgh!
Watch your tongue matey,
or we'll have to...
What will we do?
We won't do anything.
We're The Pirates
Who Don't Do Anything, remember?
Oh, that's right.
Arrgh! You got off easy today!
We need more
"Mister Twisty's Twisted Cheese Curls!"
Yeah! And root beer!
I told you boys, no more cheese curls
until you pay your tab!
You still owe me from last week!
But you'll take away our chance to win the
"Mister Twisty's
Twisted Cheese Curl Sweepstakes!"
Come again?
Inside one of those bags of cheesy goodness is
a golden ticket that'll change our lives forever!
Heh-heh!
Well, you could work here for me.
That way you could EARN more cheese curls...
Oh, that sounds good!
Okay! Good idea!
So, uh...
What do you know how to do?
Well, I'm pretty good at lawn darts.
Ping-Pong!
I can play Ping-Pong!
Croquet is my spe-ci-al-ity!
When do we start?
Monday's good for me...
We were short on cash.
It seems not doing anything
didn't pay very well.
So, what do we do now?
Umm, nothing.
You are a genius!
Uh, are these fish fresh?
You bet!
Oh, yeah!
Ooooh!
What?
They were fresh when we caught them...
That's right!
...two weeks ago!
Ho-ho-ho! He-he!
Mmm. Ninevites.
Beside the fact that we were low on funds,
this was a memorable day
because he showed up!
Jonah!
Now Jonah was a prophet of God-
which means he was one
of the very special people
God used to deliver messages to Israel.
He was kind of like a mailman,
except his letters came straight from God!
Ahem.
Anyway... Jonah loved helping his friends
by bringing them God's messages.
Sometimes the messages were good,
sometimes they were not so good.
But when a prophet talked, everybody listened!
What's the word, Jonah?
Yeah, what's the word?
Stop right here, Reginald.
Dear people,
I bring you a message from the Lord!
Oh, it's a message of encouragement!
Do not fight, Do not cheat,
Wash your hands before you eat,
There is nothing quite as sweet.
A message from the Lord!
Be a friend,
Say your prayers,
Heaven loves a heart that cares,
That is why I've come to share a message
from the Lord!
And if you follow God's commands -
There will be peace throughout the land!
You will live long and happy lives!
With your sheep, your kids, your wives!
Don't eat pigs,
Don't eat bats,
Don't eat beetles,
flies or gnats.
Stay away from all of that!
A message from the Lord!
Do what's right.
Don't provoke.
Put four tassels on your cloak.
Ha-ha-ha!
Do not laugh, it's not a joke!
A message from the Lord!
Do not fight,
Do not cheat,
Wash your hands before you eat,
There is nothing quite as sweet...
A message from the Lord!
All together now!
Be a friend,
Say your prayers,
Heaven loves a heart that cares,
That is why he came to share a message
from the Lord!
Music
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Woo! Woo! Woo!
And if we follow God's commands
There will be peace throughout our land!
We will live long and happy lives!
With our sheep, our kids, our wives!
Do what's right,
Don't provoke,
Put four tassels on your cloak.
Do not laugh,
it's not a joke!
A message from the Lord!
Don't do drugs!
Stay in school!
This is quite a lot of rules!
Follow them and you're no fool,
Follow them and you're no fool,
Follow them and you're no fool,
A message from the Lord!
Follow them and you're no fool,
A message from the Lord!
A message from the Lord!
All right, good show everyone!
Thank you very much!
That was pretty much Jonah's life!
Town to town, bringing God's messages
to his friends.
Not a bad gig, overall!
So, every night before he went to sleep,
Jonah would pray
and ask God if there was a new message
for him to deliver.
And this night, there was a message
that would change Jonah's life!
A new message?
Yes, what's that?
People being unkind?
Lying?
Huh, stealing?
Oh, dear!
Sounds like a standard turn-and-repent to me.
All right, name the town!
I'll be on my way first thing in the morning!
Where is it?
Jericho?
Damascus?
What?
Nineveh?
I'm not aware of any Ninevehs in Israel.
No, I don't think...
Oh, you mean that Nineveh?
That Nineveh wasn't in Israel at all!
It was the capital of Assyria
and it was the biggest, meanest city around!
Now, the people of Nineveh were particularly
mean to Jonah's people, the Israelites.
They lied!
They stole!
But worst of all,
they slapped people with fishes!
Ho-ho!
They even slapped each other with fishes!
They didn't know the difference between
right and wrong.
The Ninevites were so mean, in fact,
that most Israelites, including Jonah,
wished God would just wipe Nineveh off
the face of the Earth!
Needless to say,
Jonah was shocked that God
would want him to deliver
a message to his enemies.
You don't want me to go there.
You don't know what Nineveh is like!
Perhaps you've never been there.
Well, of course, you haven't!
A God like you would never go
to a place like Nineveh!
For that matter, neither would
a prophet like me!
Ha-ha. Oh...
No, it cannot be...
Your messages are meant
for me and my brothers.
We are your chosen people.
And Nineveh, well, they're not!
There must be some mistake,
a big misunderstanding.
It's really hard to take.
How could you be so demanding?
For years I've been your messenger
from Moresheth to Gath.
But Nineveh should get no chance to turn.
They've earned your wrath!
No, it cannot be...
Your messages are meant
for me and my brothers.
We are your chosen people.
And Nineveh, well, they're not!
We're the good guys and they're the bad guys!
Please, don't send me there
with a message of your mercy!
Damascus or Jerusalem -
I'll be there in a minute!
Any town in Israel -
just ask me, I'll be in it!
Shiloh, Gilgal, Jericho -
just say the word!
But Nineveh - that is just absurd!
Joppa, Aphek, Jezreel - they're all just fine!
But Nineveh...
oh, Nineveh...
No!
Nineveh is where I draw the line!
No, it cannot be...
Your messages are meant for me.
Yup.
It sounded like God wanted
to offer mercy to the Ninevites.
The tow truck's on its way.
You know, Junior, I love your dad and all,
but that's the last time I pick him for a copilot.
Huh? What's going on?
Ahem...
We're telling a little story.
You should listen, too.
As I was saying, it sounded like God wanted
to offer mercy to Jonah's enemies.
What's mercy?
It's what this whole story is about!
I thought it was about compassion.
Remember?
The menu?
Uh, yeah.
There's that, too.
Better check your menu again.
We got TWO specials today
and they go hand in hand!
Compassion is when you want to help someone
who needs help.
Mercy is when you give someone
a second chance,
even if they don't deserve it!
This story is about both of them!
That's right, my cucumber friend.
You can't have mercy without compassion,
but mercy is even more important!
Jonah was afraid God was going to give
Nineveh a second chance -
that he was going to help them
even though they didn't deserve it!
So what did he do?
Well, never before had he gotten a message
from God that he didn't want to deliver!
He didn't know what to do!
Morning, Jonah!
What's the word?
What? Nothing!
There is no word!
Uh, nothing at all?
No! Nothing at all!
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm very busy!
Good morning, Jonah!
What's the word?
Aah! Stop it!
There is no word! Nothing!
I've got to get out of here!
There is no word.
I have no new messages!
And above all, I am not going to Nineveh!
Sorry, sir!
I can't sell you a ticket to Nineveh!
What? Who are you?
The name's Angus.
I sell cruise tickets!
There's nothing like a cruise on the Great Sea
to clean the sand out of your wicket, aye?
But you can't sail to Nineveh!
It's landlocked!
See?
You can't go by sea.
You got to go by land!
But I don't want to go to...
Oh, hello, Mr. Jonah!
What's the word?
Ah!
He's going to Nineveh!
Oh, really?
I am not going to Nineveh!
Why on Earth would I want to go to Nineveh?
In fact, I'm going in the opposite direction!
What's the farthest thing
in the world from Nineveh?
Well if you have a few days,
you could sail down to Egypt.
It's lovely this time of year.
There!
I want to go there!
What? Tarshish?
Why, that would take weeks!
It's the other end of the world!
Perfect! How much?
Even if you had the money,
no one around here has the time to sail
all the way to Tarshish.
We are The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything!
We just stay home and lie around!
Then again...
And if you ask us to do anything,
We'll just tell you...
We couldn't possibly.
We're very busy with, eh, cargo and stuff...
You know, Pirates have to pillage and plunder
and that really takes it out of you.
And, uh, Alf is on in a half-hour
so I don't think we should, uh...
And besides that,
we don't really sail - at all.
So the answer is no.
Money is no object.
Next stop, Tarshish!
I'll hoist the mainsail!
I'll pop the popcorn!
I'll get the moist towelettes!
Where did we put them?
Hey, Larry, have you seen the towelettes?
I got it! I got it!
No, those are baby wipes.
Sorry!
My fault!
Even though we'd never sailed before,
we took to it like a fish to water!
There she blows!
Where?
Right there!
Next to the grill!
Got it!
6-0!
7-0!
That's a skunk! I win!
Woo! Yeah!
All right! Woo-hoo!
What do you say, Jonah?
Two out of three?
Ahh... No.
I'm done.
Argh!
When we get to Tarshish,
Ho-ho's! On me!
Woo-hoo! Yeah!
He win-y at the ping pong!
We get the ho-ho and the ding-dong!
Ding-dong!
Once we finally got out to sea,
Jonah went below deck to rest a bit.
Oh, what have I done?
What have I done?
You are powerful and attractive.
What? Who's there?
You do not run from your problems,
but confront them face-to-face.
Ah! The bag! It speaks!
Ow!
What did you do that for?
Mr. Twisty?
Who's there?
Show yourself!
Hello!
What are you?
Who, me?
Oh, my name is Khalil.
I am a caterpillar.
Well, that is only half true.
My mother was a caterpillar.
My father was a worm.
But I am okay with that now.
Khalil?
Khalil.
You've got to get your gut into it.
I bet you are wondering why I am here.
Aaah...
you tidy up around the ship?
Oh, no!
I do not work on the ship.
I am a small business operator!
A traveling salesman!
I sell Persian rugs door to door!
See?
Oh, lovely.
By the way,
do you know where this ship is going?
Yes, Tarshish.
Tarshish!
Ha! What a trip!
You know, that may be just what I need!
The Persian rug business has not been
going very well around here.
But I still have a positive mental attitude
because of my motivational tapes!
You are a skilled metalworker.
I am a skilled metalworker!
Ah! I did not know that!
Yes.
Well, that's lovely, Carlyle,
but if you don't mind,
I think I'll just get some rest.
Jonah?
Huh?
You are Jonah!
You know me?
Of course I do!
You are the most famous prophet
in the whole world!
Well,
I don't know if I'd say...
I sell your licensed merchandise!
Look, look, look!
I have the Jonah rugs...
the Jonah plush toy...
with sound chip!
A message from the Lord!
A message from the Lord!
Well,
I'm... flattered...
You are huge!
You are a celebrity!
Well, I...
From town to town delivering God's messages!
What a life!
You are a big shot!
Oh, no!
It's really...
The man God can count on
to deliver his messages!
Yes... well...
You and God are like peas in a pod!
Like two humps on a camel -
you always 'sway the same way!'
Ho-ho-ho!
Oh, that is a good one!
You know,
humor runs very deep in my family!
My uncle was a big star back
at a comedy club in Nineveh...
the Taj Ma-Haha!
Standing room only!
And then he was hit with a fish.
I'm telling you,
those people do not know right from wrong.
Oh, Nineveh.
Hmm?
You are sad now, my friend?
Something about Nineveh
makes you feel sad inside?
I don't really want to talk about it.
I just need some rest.
Oh, you do not have to tell me.
Good.
Because I already know.
You do?
Oh, yes.
There is a woman in Nineveh, is there not?
A beautiful young asparagus!
She is waiting there for you, no?
Um, no.
You were promised to be married,
but your job is now in the way.
The woman's father is the head
of an international ring of camel thieves!
This very day you set sail
for Tarshish to deliver
a message that will break
the back of the camel thieves,
but in the process will break
the heart of the woman you love!
Insight runs very deep in my family.
Do not worry, the first one is free.
Please, Carlyle.
I just need to get some rest.
It's Khalil.
But you can call me Carlyle if you want to!
When we get to Tarshish,
you can deliver the message,
and I'll sell the plush toys!
We can be a team!
A message...
from the Lord!
Uhhh.
Well, sweet dreams traveling buddy!
We can make our plans
to save those camels tomorrow!
You are a go-getter.
Yes!
Which way is Tarshish?
Right this way.
You can't miss it!
Oh, thank you!
Jonah...
What? Who is it?
Jonah!
Where are you going?
Oh! It's you, Lord.
Um, I'm going to...
I'm going...
Jonah!
I'm sorry,
I can't hear you!
Jonah!
I can't hear you!
Lalalalalalala!
Jonah!
I... can't... hear... you!
Jonah!
Jonah! Jonah! Jonah!
No! I can't hear you!
Come on, wake up!
We got trouble!
What?
What's happening?
We're in a storm!
Like I've never seen before!
If we don't do something quick,
we're going to sink!
We seem to have sprung a leak,
traveling buddy!
Huh? Hey!
What are you doing here?
Didn't I tell you to get off my ship,
you lousy leaf-eater?
Well, yes.
But you see, my new friend and I are going to
Tarshish to break the back of the camel thieves!
Crime-fighting runs very deep in my family!
Why, if it wasn't for this storm
I'd make you walk the plank!
And you!
How can you sleep at a time like this?
What's going on?
I'll tell you what's going on!
We're all going to be fish food
if I don't get some help!
Well, what can we do?
Get up and pray to your God!
Maybe he'll have mercy on us
and spare our lives!
Ugh! Oy!
Somebody up there must be really upset with
somebody down here!
Wait a minute! That's it!
All right you two, follow me!
You got an electric eel?
Nope. Go Fish.
One more card...
You are one cheating buccaneer.
How am I supposed to cheat at Go fish?
I don't know...
All right, you lazies!
Game over!
Shuffle them up and deal us in!
But...
He-he.
Okay!
Here's the deal.
The way I see it,
there is a reason for this storm.
Somebody up there is really upset
with somebody down here.
And it ain't going to let up until we know
who that "somebody" is.
It could be any one of us...
I have my suspicions...
But we won't know for sure
until we figure it out scientifically.
All right, men, Go Fish!
Loser takes a swim!
You got a perch?
Nope.
You have any pickerel?
Nope.
You got a muskellunge?
Nope!
Go fish!
Oh, dear!
I am most desperate for a lobster.
Sorry!
Drat!
He-he-he! Oh!
Got any bass?
Yeah.
Octopus?
Blue gill?
Tuna?
Halibut?
You got any trout?
Hmm? What a goose I am!
It's a match!
I had it all along!
Huh?
I thought for sure...
All right!
I admit it.
It's my fault!
All my fault!
I'm the one to blame!
But... I...
the worm...
I am a Hebrew.
And I worship the Lord, the God of heaven,
who made the sea and the land.
And I'm running away from him!
He told me to go to Nineveh,
but I didn't listen!
You know, I don't like those people...
Oooh. Fish slappers.
Yes! So I ran.
I ran and I ended up here.
And now everyone's in terrible danger
all because of me.
I'm afraid the only thing left
is to be thrown into the sea!
you don't have to do that.
We got a plank.
You can just walk off.
Yes... thank you.
You're too kind.
Well, Jonah, old buddy.
It was nice knowing you.
Normally you'd be entitled to a refund,
but under the circumstances - you know,
with you dying and all...
No, I don't suppose a refund
would do me much good now, would it?
Ah, thanks!
You're a trooper.
Ain't he a trooper?
But the camels...
Oh...
Hey! Wait a minute!
I just remembered something!
Maybe you don't have to walk the plank,
after all!
Huh?
Every winter my cousin from Moose Lake
asks me to take care of this...
Oooooh.
Cool.
What is it?
This, my friends, is a Jupiter 1600-horsepower,
high-octane, dual propeller,
pull ignition, outboard motor
with the optional chrome trim package.
Oooooh.
Cool.
What is it?
It gets us back to Joppa.
Oh.
Well, how does it work?
That I don't know.
Perhaps I could help.
You know, technical competency runs very...
I know, very deep in your family.
Oh!
Our reputation precedes us!
Well then, it appears that one should
pull the cord and then, perhaps,
push this black bubbly thingy.
No!
Maybe it's the other way around.
Perhaps if one first pushes the black bubbly
thingy and then pulls the cord...
brrrrrrr...
Aaah!
See?
Ahhhhh!
Yep.
That's how it works.
It has been delightful,
but I must go now...
Oh Lord, don't let us die for this man's sin.
And don't hold us responsible for his death,
because it isn't our fault.
Oh Lord, you have sent this storm upon him
for your own good reasons.
And keep my ducky safe.
Amen.
That was easy.
Well, should we pull him back in?
Uh, I don't see why not.
Something touched me!
There's... there's something in the water!
Hurry up! Hurry!
I'm hurrying!
Hold on, Jonah!
Aim this time!
I was aiming!
I can never tell where you're looking...
You should talk!
Hurry!
Fellows, please!
Pull it back in.
Hurry!
Okay, okay!
I got it!
Let me do that!
No, no!
I'll throw it!
Fellows, please!
Come on!
Give it here!
I said I got it!
Excuse me, gentlemen!
Perhaps I can be of assistance.
Oops.
Heh?
Whoooa! Ugh! Whoooa!
Man the cannon!
Aye, aye Cap'n!
We ain't got no ammo!
Oh yes we do!
Fire one!
Fire two!
Hello?
Fire three!
I'm coming traveling buddy!
Traveling buddy?
Where are you?
Hmmm!
Oh look, a bowling ball.
If I could only find some pins...
You found better than that, traveling buddy!
It's me!
Oh, my...
So forget about Tarshish!
All we need to do is get this whale
to swim to Nineveh!
You give the message - I sell the plush toys -
we'll be right back on track!
Carlyle, please don't speak to me.
I'm having a rather bad day.
Well you don't need to be so down about it,
Mr. Grumpy-pants!
Look around you!
We're inside a whale!
We're going to be digested!
Do you know what that means?
Of course I do!
Digestion runs very deep in my family.
I'm just trying to have a positive outlook,
you know!
You know the difference between you and me
is that you see the whale as half empty,
but I see the whale as half full!
I don't know what that means.
Neither do I.
Oh, I might as well face it.
God gave me a job to do and I disobeyed him.
I ran the other way!
I've done something terrible
and now I'm getting what I deserve.
I'm going to die here in this whale.
Have you ever seen anything so pathetic?
Mmm-mmm.
This boy needs some help!
What? Who's there?
Take it easy, Jonah!
We're on your side!
How did you know my name?
How did you get in here?
Were you in the bowling ball, too?
Uh, no.
That's not how we get around.
No, we came straight from the big man himself!
You mean...
Mmm-Hmm!
And just like you, we deliver his messages!
So you're prophets, too?
Not exactly.
You see, we work on a slightly higher level.
You do?
And Jonah, we've got a message for you!
You're feeling pretty blue.
You didn't do what God requested. Oh!
Yeah, I'd be moping too,
if I was gonna be digested!
This ain't a pretty picture, no.
I said, it ain't a pretty sight, no.
You ran from God this morning and you're...
...whale chow tonight!
But...
Hold up! Hang on!
Not so fast!
Your life ain't over yet!
See, we're here to tell you all about...
...the forgiveness that...
...you can get!
You see, God's a God of mercy,
God's a God of love.
And right now, he's gonna lend
a helping hand from up above!
Praise the Lord!
He's a God of second chances!
You'll be floored!
How his love, your life enhances!
You can be restored from
your darkest circumstances!
Our God is a God of second chances!
Ain't it good to know a God
who gives a second chance!
Why, that's enough to get a smile
from Mr. Grumpy-pants!
So if you say you're sorry
for all the stuff you do,
We know that he'll be ready
with a second chance for you!
Praise the Lord!
He's a God of second chances!
You'll be floored!
How his love, your life enhances!
You can be restored from
the darkest circumstances!
Our God is a God of second chances!
Our God is a God...
If you believe God's love is true,
Then you should know What you should do!
If you believe God's love is true,
Then you should know What you should do!
If you believe God's love is true,
Then you should know What you should do!
If you believe God's love is true,
Then you should know What you should do!
God gives a second chance!
Second chances!
Second chances!
Praise the Lord!
He's a God of second chances!
You'll be floored when you're restored
from your darkest circumstances!
Our God is a God...
Second chances!
Second chances!
Praise the Lord!
He's a God of second chances!
You'll be floored when you're restored
from your darkest circumstances!
Our God is a God...
Second chances!
If you believe God's love is true,
Then you should know What you should do!
If you believe God's love is true,
Then you should know What you should do!
Second chances!
Second chances!
Praise the Lord!
He's a God of second chances!
You'll be floored when you're restored
from your darkest circumstances!
Our God is a God...
Second Chances!
Our God is a God...
Yeah!
Our God is a God...
Second Chances!
So from inside the whale, Jonah prayed
and asked God to forgive him for not obeying.
He told God that if he got another chance,
he would go to Nineveh,
even though he didn't
like those people very much.
So did he get another chance?
Shouldn't you be looking out
for your tow truck?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That can wait.
Did Jonah get another chance?
Well, God saw that Jonah needed help,
and he wanted to help him.
That's compassion!
But did he give him a second chance
even though he didn't deserve it?
You know, mercy?
After three days,
Jonah noticed something strange happening...
Oh! Reginald! Good to see you!
Yes... well...
So God told the whale to burp up Jonah -
and Jonah got his second chance!
And just like he promised,
Turn back! Turn back! Turn back!
The slapping! The slapping!
Turn back! Turn back! Turn back!
Go in, give the message, get out...
Go in, give the message, get out...
Who goes there?
Ah, yes!
My name is Jonah.
And I'm a prophet from...
You're not from here, are you?
Um, no, you see, I'm from...
That would make you a stranger, wouldn't it?
Well, um, yes.
I suppose so.
But I...
We don't like strangers.
No... yes, I've heard that.
But you see I have a...
So why are you here?
Well, I have a message.
A message?
For who?
Well, for everyone!
For the whole city!
You've got a message for the whole city?
... the whole city?
Oh, that's rich!
I'll alert the king! "Your honor!
A bleached asparagus has a message for us all!"
Most important!
I do not think this is going very well.
Oh, let's just go home!
I did what you said,
I guess it just wasn't meant to be.
Jonah?
What?
It is our friends from the ship!
What on earth?
What are you doing here?
What are you doing here?
Yea... you're... you're...
...fish food!
The whale spit us out
like so much bad couscous,
and here we are now,
delivering the message to Nineveh!
But they wouldn't let us in,
so I guess we're going home.
Hey, I bet we could get him in...
Huh?
Hey, look!
It's the cheese curls blokes!
Oh, right!
Coming back for a visit, are you?
Yup!
Ahem...
Is this fellow with you?
Oh, yes!
He's with us!
You're with them, eh?
Yes, indeed!
Why, I sailed halfway across
the world with these...
fine... gentlemen.
All right.
You can come in.
Enjoy your stay in Nineveh.
What was that all about?
How did you do that?
Remember that money you gave us?
Eh, by the way,
you aren't going to want that refund, are you?
Ah...
Good.
'Cause we spent it!
Every last penny!
On cheese curls!
Cheese curls?
Yup!
1458 bags of "Mister Twisty's
Twisted Cheese Curls!"
And you'll never guess what
we found in bag 497...
The golden ticket!
We won the "Mister Twisty's
Twisted Cheese Curl Sweepstakes!"
Ah-ha!
And the prize was...?
Uh huh!
But in addition to our enviably
fashionable headgear,
we also got a tour of Mister Twisty's factory,
right here in Nineveh!
Which, despite its unseemly location,
was a splendid experience!
And, believe it or not,
in this town we're famous!
Hey, look!
Here comes a city official to greet us!
Hello!
We were in the neighborhood,
so we thought we'd...
These are the men!
Arrest them at once!
But...
Excuse me.
What have they done?
Thievery!
High theft against the Royal City of Nineveh!
That's ridiculous!
Oh, is it?
No! Wait!
I thought they were free samples!
Take them away!
You can't do that!
I'm sorry...
Are you with these men?
Well, um, yes, I suppose...
Hello? What are you doing?
Oh! Wonderful!
It must be time for my speech!
Hey! I can't move!
I can't move, either!
What?
Have I got something on my face?
This doesn't look good...
I'm sorry, guys!
I thought they were free samples.
They were right out there in the open,
in a big bowl.
Very misleading!
Oh, don't go blaming yourself!
No, blame HIM!
"Let's put it all in cheese curls," he says.
"No," I say,
"We need a balanced portfolio!"
A little stock, a little bonds,
a little cash or cash equivalents.
And then maybe some snacks.
But no.
"Put it all in cheese curls!" he says.
Man, you got to plan for the future!
What?
It got us here, didn't it?
Not "here" literally!
But we were somebody!
We were celebrities!
We are going to die!
People of Nineveh!
These four men and that small...
whatever-it-is...
I am a caterpillar!
Well, that is only half true...
Have been found guilty of high thievery
against the Royal City of Nineveh!
For their punishment -
"The Slap of No Return!"
What's so funny?
Observe!
No!
What is happening that is making you all cry
like little babies?
Why on earth do you take snack food
so seriously?
People of Nineveh!
I give you...
It's Mister Twisty.
Well, that explains it!
He looks happier on the bag.
Your royal gourdliness, these are the
perpetrators of the heinous act
against your curls of cheese!
For their punishment -
"The Slap of No Return!"
Proceed.
Wait!
Won't you at least give the guilty parties
a chance to speak in their own defense?
You may speak.
Well, as I understand it,
the snacks in question
were right out in the open,
in a large bowl!
I think we'll all agree
this was somewhat misleading.
Don't you think?
Slap them.
No!
You don't understand!
I'm not REALLY with them.
I mean, how could I be?
While they were taking the tour,
I was in the belly of a whale!
What did you say?
I said, while they were on the tour,
I was in the belly of a whale!
But you're not dead!
No! That's just it!
I was in the whale for three days and nights!
Then I prayed to my God, and the great monster
spit me up onto the shore.
So that I could bring you all a message.
Hmm...
Asparagus, here in Nineveh
we bow to the Great Fish.
We celebrate the Great Fish in our art.
Yes, I noticed.
If what you are saying is true...
Yes!
How do we know if he is telling the truth, sire?
Smell him.
Your highness?
Smell him.
Ooooooh!
I'm terribly sorry.
I've been meaning to shower,
but...
He has been in the Great Fish.
We must hear the message.
What?
Oh, the message.
Yes... the message.
What was the message?
Come on!
It's been so long,
I... Oh, yes.
Ahem... Stop it!
Stop cheating!
Stop lying!
And especially,
stop slapping people with fishes!
Or this entire city will be destroyed!
A message from the Lord!
Well, the king was very upset!
He had no idea they weren't
suppose to do that stuff!
No one had ever told him before!
A decree from the king!
Let everyone call urgently to God.
Let them give up their
evil ways and their violence.
Perhaps the God that brought this man out
of the Great Fish will give us a second chance!
And let the asparagus and his friends go free!
So the king and the people of Nineveh
said they were sorry,
stopped the fish-slapping
and started being nice to people.
Wow! That's great!
Yeah! Everyone must have been
really happy, right?
Well, almost everyone.
Yes, thank you!
Thank you!
Thank you, thank you!
So long!
Yes, thank you very much!
You see, Jonah figured God wouldn't
really forgive the Ninevites.
I mean, they'd done some terrible stuff.
No! He figured God had something else in mind.
What are we doing?
Oh, it's time to watch the fun!
And what fun would that be?
Well, I did what I was supposed to do.
I warned them that they were going
to get in big trouble!
So now that they've had their warning,
it's time to watch God wipe them
off the face of the Earth!
Aha!
I picked a safe distance so we won't get singed.
Oh, this is going to be great!
The bad guys finally getting what they deserve!
So Jonah waited for God to destroy Nineveh.
Even now, God was compassionate towards
Jonah and caused a plant to grow
that shaded him from the hot sun.
Hmm? Oh! Yes! Very nice!
Thank you! Very nice!
Jonah kept waiting.
But it didn't seem like anything was happening!
He wondered if maybe God
was forgetting something.
All right! I did my job!
So... Fire!
Brimstone! Whatever! You pick!
Right over there!
I'll just sit here under my weed and wait.
What, what happened?
What? How could you?
Hmm?
All your whining made me hungry!
It was just a weed...
Just a weed?
It... it was my shade!
It was my friend!
Oh, dear Lord, how could you let this happen?
Would you look at yourself?
You care more about that weed than about
all the people in Nineveh!
Well, I...
Why are you here now instead of back in
the belly of that whale?
Because God is compassionate,
he wanted to help you!
And because he is merciful,
he gave you a second chance!
Oh, yes!
And I'm very grateful...
Has it ever occurred to you
that maybe God loves everybody?
Not just you!
That maybe he wants to give everyone
a second chance?
Uh, well...
He saw that those people needed help -
that they didn't know right from wrong -
and he wanted to help them!
And that is why he sent you!
Ah...
And when you told them what they were
doing wrong they said they were sorry.
They put down their mackerels
and their halibuts.
And they asked God for a second chance.
And by golly, he gave them one!
Don't you see?
God wants to give everyone a second chance!
And so should we!
Well, if they get a second chance -
those fish-slappers -
well, then, it would be better if I were dead!
Oh, I wish I were back in that whale!
You are pathetic.
You know, patience runs very deep
in my family, but not that deep.
I am out of here!
What?
What are you doing?
I wanted to be big and important, just like you!
But the world doesn't need more people
who are big and important.
The world needs more people who are nice
and compassionate and merciful.
That's what I want to be.
You can find yourself a new traveling buddy.
Goodbye.
You can't just leave!
Can and am!
But who will I talk to?
You can't just leave me here all alone!
Hello? Carlyle? Reginald?
Carlyle? Khalil? Khalil?
Khhhalil? Ohh!
The end!
Wait a minute!
It's over?
Yup!
That's how it ends?
Yup!
But what did Jonah learn?
The question, my friends,
is not "what did Jonah learn."
The question is,
"what did you learn?"
Well, I learned that we need to help people
who need help...
And we need to give second chances.
Even if they don't deserve them.
But what's that got to do with us?
Hey, tomato...
Heh?
Your friend there, the big asparagus.
If I'm not mistaken,
he didn't do such a good job
helping you with the map.
Oh, it was a disaster!
He said he was sorry and that he'd do better
next time, but no way! Uh uh, I...
Mercy.
I guess everyone deserves a second chance.
Yup!
Now get out of here
before my crab legs get cold!
You know, that still wasn't
a very good way to end a story!
Well, what do you want?
A big musical number?
Well... yeah!
Who do they think I am?
Twippo?
Yes?
Twippo! Yeah...
What are you doing here?
Well, I've a concert tonight,
but I'm running late!
Can't find Route 59 to save my life!
I stopped here for directions.
We're going to your concert tonight!
At least we were...
And then... porcupines!
... and underwear!
... and pirates!
And now it looks like
we aren't going to make it at all.
Good heavens!
Well, if it's a ride you need,
I've plenty of room on my bus...
you can all come with me!
Yay!
Yeah. Everyone but me.
Laura, you can have my ticket.
But, Junior, it was my fault.
Why, that was a very merciful thing to do!
Tell you what,
I'll give you all a ride to the concert.
And I'll make sure you ALL have
backstage passes!
Yeah!
Speaking of mercy, have any of you heard
the story of a man named Jonah?
Yes.
Oh.
Well, uh, would you like to hear
a song about it?
Is it like the bald bunny song?
Ah, not really.
It's more of a big musical number.
Perfect!
When I was a boy I went to church back home
in Arizona And that is where I heard
the tale of a man whose name was Jonah!
Now Jonah was a prophet,
but that's not why he's remembered.
We tell the tale 'cause in a whale
he nearly was dismembered!
Jonah was a prophet!
Ooh, ooh!
But he really never got it!
Sad, but true!
If you've been watching you can spot it!
Doodle-ee-doo!
He did not get the point!
Compassion and mercy!
From me to you and you to me!
Exactly what God wants to see!
And yes, that is the point!
Jonah was a prophet!
Ooh, ooh!
But he really never got it!
Sad, but true!
If you've been watching you can spot it!
Doodle-ee-doo!
He did not get the point!
Now Jonah set sail On a pirate ship
in a dreadful gale
Got eaten up by a giant whale
But managed not to be dead.
You'd think he would learn a lot
From being saved from an awful spot
But the second chance that he had got
He didn't want to be spread!
So poor old Jonah!
Now he's all alone-a!
Got to use a megaphone-a!
To get it through to his head!
Hey!
Jonah was a prophet!
Ooh, ooh!
But he really never got it!
Sad, but true!
If you've been watching you can spot it!
Doodle-ee-doo!
He did not get the point!
Jonah was a prophet!
Ooh, ooh!
But he really never got it!
Sad, but true!
If you've been watching you can spot it!
Doodle-ee-doo!
He did not get the point!
Now, true, in your life you probably
don't ride on a camel
And you probably won't wake up inside a large,
aquatic mammal.
But all the same, like Jonah,
there is something you can do
Everyone deserves to get
a second chance from you!
Compassion and mercy!
From me to you and you to me!
Exactly what God wants to see!
And yes, that is the point!
Jonah was a prophet!
Ooh, ooh!
But he really never got it!
Sad, but true!
Jonah was a prophet!
Ooh, ooh!
But he really never got it!
Sad, but true!
Jonah was a prophet!
Yah! Twippo!
I beg your pardon.
I hate to break up the party,
but who needed a tow?
Ah...
Have we met?
Now Billy Joe McGuffrey
was a really clumsy kid.
On the first day
of first grade
I'll tell you what he did.
He tripped over a pencil box,
Flew up in the air,
Landed on a kangaroo
who pulled out all his hair
He needed First aid
in the first grade.
First aid in the first grade.
First aid in the first grade.
You could a buy a zoo
With all the doctor bills
he paid!
Oh Billy Joe McGuffrey
Was a really clumsy kid.
On the second day of second grade
I'll tell you what he did.
He slipped on a banana peel,
Flew up in the sky,
Landed on a chimpanzee
Who poked him in the eye.
Route 59.
Where is Route 59?
First aid in the second grade.
First aid in the second grade.
You could a buy a zoo...
AAAAH! LIGHTS! AAAAH!
Now Billy Joe McGuffrey
Was a really clumsy kid.
Whoa... lights! Lights!
Where is that button?
He fell out of a fishing boat,
Splashed into the sea...
Switch! No! Where is it?
... Who bit him on the knee!
He needed First aid
in the third grade.
First aid in the third grade.
First aid in the third grade.
You could a buy a zoo
With all the doctor bills he paid!
I get to meet Twippo...
Twelfth grade!
Now Billy Joe McGuffrey
Was a really clumsy kid.
On the twelfth day of twelfth grade
I'll tell you what he did.
Walked into financial aid,
Fell and broke a bone,
Showed them all his bills
and Got a great big College Loan!
And he needed First aid in the twelfth grade.
First aid in the twelfth grade.
First aid in the twelfth grade.
You could a buy a zoo
with all the doctor bills he paid!
You could a buy a zoo
with all the doctor bills he paid!
Yay! Twippo! Let's do another Twippo song!
I love Twippo!
Me too!
But I'm the only one
who gets to meet him,
because I won
the Twippo Sweepstakes!
You don't have to rub it in!
It's great that you won the contest,
Laura, but let's try not to brag about it.
Nice one with the lights, Bob!
My pleasure.
For the next song, maybe I can
drive into the river!
Yeah!
Drive into the river Bob! Oh!
Drive into the river Bob...
Or maybe you could help me with the MAP!
Oh, I'm sorry.
Is there anything you want me to tell Twippo,
when I meet him?
Laura!
Ow!
My ticket!
Aaah! Quick! Get it!
The map!
Sorry!
AAAH!
My ticket!
Ahem... do you mind?
I'm stuck.
Whoooa!
Get it! Pick it up! Put it! Stick it in! Put it!
PORCUPINE!
Swish!
Whooa!...
Tree!...
Cabin!...
UNDERWEAR!
Heh-heh... Well I'm glad that's over!
Did you say something?
Oh...
... dear!
Aaaaaaaaah!!!!!!
Am I in heaven?
Smells like Wisconsin.
Well, nobody got hurt!
Aah-heh!
Wow. What a shot!
Eeh.
Hey!... What's that?
Oooooh.
What's "SEAFOO"?
Maybe it's like tofu...
...only saltier.
Aaahhhhh.
Oh yeah? Well, if it wasn't for you
we wouldn't be in this mess!
I said I was sorry.
I'll do better next time!
There isn't going to be a next time!
Mr. Bob, how are we going to get
to the Twippo concert?
Yeah!
We're going to miss the bald bunny song!
I don't know!
I don't know about any bald bunnies...
I'm a bald bunny...
Even if we make it to the concert,
I can't get in! I lost my ticket!
Serves you right!
It's your own fault
for waving it around in my face!
I have to go to the bathroom.
You know I'm usually
not that clumsy in the car...
Two flat tires.
Usually I'm quite dexterous.
How in the world are we going
to change two flat tires?
Where's the phone?
I lost my ticket!
If you hadn't been teasing me with it,
we wouldn't be in this mess, Laura!
Ahem... May we help you?
May I please use the bathroom?
Down the hall, first door on the left.
Thank you.
Oooh!
Captain Ahab's Moby Blaster!
My favorite!
What do you want?
Well, sirs, the Asparagus
hit me in the head with a guitar
and an angry mother porcupine shot out
our tires and one of her babies got me...
Ooh.
And I need to use your phone to call...
...A tow truck.
My wife.
I see.
Next to the Moby Blaster.
Thanks.
Well, in the meantime,
would you like to have a seat?
Maybe enjoy a nice combo platter?
Steak! Steak!
Eat it! Eat it!
Shrimp! Shrimp!
Need it! Need it!
Steak and Shrimp!
Steak and Shrimp!
Need to! Need to!
Eat it! Eat it!
Oh, ow, eeh, ow, eeh, ow!
Oh, ow, eeh, ow, eeh, ow!
Got to, got to, got to,
Get the steaky, wakey, shrimpy...
Do you prefer "poking" or "non-poking?"
Heh-heh-heh... non.
Ha-ha! Good one, Phillipe!
You are one clever pea, no?
Ho-ho-ho!
AAAH!
Whala!
A skewer for the scampi!
We are The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything...
We just stay home and lie around!
Please make yourselves comfortable.
I will be back to take your orders.
Why don't you two wait here.
I'm going to go call a tow truck.
Maybe we can still make it
to the concert on time.
Yeah, everyone but me...
Hey it's your own fault for teasing me!
You're just getting what you deserve!
Hmm!
I'm coming with you, Mr. Bob.
See, they got one guy.
All he does... he just folds these napkins.
Oh, the napkin guy.
He works at night after everybody's gone.
Yeah! You know, uh, he use to fold maps.
No, no!
Listen to me.
He takes one spoon,
he takes one knife and he takes one fork.
And he rolls it up in a napkin, just like this.
And makes it into that little swan shape.
Hey, could you pass the cheddar biscuits?
Excuse me!
AAAAAH!
How's it going?
Hey. What's up?
Who are you?
Uh, who us?
Yeah...
Oh!
We are "The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything!"
Oh you know that's right.
Nothing.
Zilch.
Nada.
Didn't you hear our song?
Well, yeah... but...
Look, Sonny... Can I call you Sonny?
Junior.
Hey! Pretty close!
Look, Junior, we couldn't help
but notice you were having a little thing
with your friend over there.
Yeah.
You weren't being very nice.
Well, it's her own fault!
She was teasing me and now
she's getting what she deserves!
Right.
Junior, we've seen these types
of situations before.
Happens all the time.
What you need is a little compassion.
...And maybe some scampi.
Hey, I saw that in the menu.
What is that?
What's compassion?
Ooh.
That's a hard question.
Mmm-hmm.
Well, compassion is when you see that
someone needs help,
and you want to help them!
That's what I thought you'd say.
They all do.
Yep.
We find it helpful to illustrate
with a little story.
A story?
Yep.
You know, we call ourselves
The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything,
but that's not entirely accurate.
Oh, yeah!
Remember when we did that one thing,
with that one guy?
Oh do I ever.
I remember it like it was yesterday...
Are you guys still doing that 'pirate thing?'
Arrgh!
Watch your tongue matey,
or we'll have to...
What will we do?
We won't do anything.
We're The Pirates
Who Don't Do Anything, remember?
Oh, that's right.
Arrgh! You got off easy today!
We need more
"Mister Twisty's Twisted Cheese Curls!"
Yeah! And root beer!
I told you boys, no more cheese curls
until you pay your tab!
You still owe me from last week!
But you'll take away our chance to win the
"Mister Twisty's
Twisted Cheese Curl Sweepstakes!"
Come again?
Inside one of those bags of cheesy goodness is
a golden ticket that'll change our lives forever!
Heh-heh!
Well, you could work here for me.
That way you could EARN more cheese curls...
Oh, that sounds good!
Okay! Good idea!
So, uh...
What do you know how to do?
Well, I'm pretty good at lawn darts.
Ping-Pong!
I can play Ping-Pong!
Croquet is my spe-ci-al-ity!
When do we start?
Monday's good for me...
We were short on cash.
It seems not doing anything
didn't pay very well.
So, what do we do now?
Umm, nothing.
You are a genius!
Uh, are these fish fresh?
You bet!
Oh, yeah!
Ooooh!
What?
They were fresh when we caught them...
That's right!
...two weeks ago!
Ho-ho-ho! He-he!
Mmm. Ninevites.
Beside the fact that we were low on funds,
this was a memorable day
because he showed up!
Jonah!
Now Jonah was a prophet of God-
which means he was one
of the very special people
God used to deliver messages to Israel.
He was kind of like a mailman,
except his letters came straight from God!
Ahem.
Anyway... Jonah loved helping his friends
by bringing them God's messages.
Sometimes the messages were good,
sometimes they were not so good.
But when a prophet talked, everybody listened!
What's the word, Jonah?
Yeah, what's the word?
Stop right here, Reginald.
Dear people,
I bring you a message from the Lord!
Oh, it's a message of encouragement!
Do not fight, Do not cheat,
Wash your hands before you eat,
There is nothing quite as sweet.
A message from the Lord!
Be a friend,
Say your prayers,
Heaven loves a heart that cares,
That is why I've come to share a message
from the Lord!
And if you follow God's commands -
There will be peace throughout the land!
You will live long and happy lives!
With your sheep, your kids, your wives!
Don't eat pigs,
Don't eat bats,
Don't eat beetles,
flies or gnats.
Stay away from all of that!
A message from the Lord!
Do what's right.
Don't provoke.
Put four tassels on your cloak.
Ha-ha-ha!
Do not laugh, it's not a joke!
A message from the Lord!
Do not fight,
Do not cheat,
Wash your hands before you eat,
There is nothing quite as sweet...
A message from the Lord!
All together now!
Be a friend,
Say your prayers,
Heaven loves a heart that cares,
That is why he came to share a message
from the Lord!
Music
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Woo! Woo! Woo!
And if we follow God's commands
There will be peace throughout our land!
We will live long and happy lives!
With our sheep, our kids, our wives!
Do what's right,
Don't provoke,
Put four tassels on your cloak.
Do not laugh,
it's not a joke!
A message from the Lord!
Don't do drugs!
Stay in school!
This is quite a lot of rules!
Follow them and you're no fool,
Follow them and you're no fool,
Follow them and you're no fool,
A message from the Lord!
Follow them and you're no fool,
A message from the Lord!
A message from the Lord!
All right, good show everyone!
Thank you very much!
That was pretty much Jonah's life!
Town to town, bringing God's messages
to his friends.
Not a bad gig, overall!
So, every night before he went to sleep,
Jonah would pray
and ask God if there was a new message
for him to deliver.
And this night, there was a message
that would change Jonah's life!
A new message?
Yes, what's that?
People being unkind?
Lying?
Huh, stealing?
Oh, dear!
Sounds like a standard turn-and-repent to me.
All right, name the town!
I'll be on my way first thing in the morning!
Where is it?
Jericho?
Damascus?
What?
Nineveh?
I'm not aware of any Ninevehs in Israel.
No, I don't think...
Oh, you mean that Nineveh?
That Nineveh wasn't in Israel at all!
It was the capital of Assyria
and it was the biggest, meanest city around!
Now, the people of Nineveh were particularly
mean to Jonah's people, the Israelites.
They lied!
They stole!
But worst of all,
they slapped people with fishes!
Ho-ho!
They even slapped each other with fishes!
They didn't know the difference between
right and wrong.
The Ninevites were so mean, in fact,
that most Israelites, including Jonah,
wished God would just wipe Nineveh off
the face of the Earth!
Needless to say,
Jonah was shocked that God
would want him to deliver
a message to his enemies.
You don't want me to go there.
You don't know what Nineveh is like!
Perhaps you've never been there.
Well, of course, you haven't!
A God like you would never go
to a place like Nineveh!
For that matter, neither would
a prophet like me!
Ha-ha. Oh...
No, it cannot be...
Your messages are meant
for me and my brothers.
We are your chosen people.
And Nineveh, well, they're not!
There must be some mistake,
a big misunderstanding.
It's really hard to take.
How could you be so demanding?
For years I've been your messenger
from Moresheth to Gath.
But Nineveh should get no chance to turn.
They've earned your wrath!
No, it cannot be...
Your messages are meant
for me and my brothers.
We are your chosen people.
And Nineveh, well, they're not!
We're the good guys and they're the bad guys!
Please, don't send me there
with a message of your mercy!
Damascus or Jerusalem -
I'll be there in a minute!
Any town in Israel -
just ask me, I'll be in it!
Shiloh, Gilgal, Jericho -
just say the word!
But Nineveh - that is just absurd!
Joppa, Aphek, Jezreel - they're all just fine!
But Nineveh...
oh, Nineveh...
No!
Nineveh is where I draw the line!
No, it cannot be...
Your messages are meant for me.
Yup.
It sounded like God wanted
to offer mercy to the Ninevites.
The tow truck's on its way.
You know, Junior, I love your dad and all,
but that's the last time I pick him for a copilot.
Huh? What's going on?
Ahem...
We're telling a little story.
You should listen, too.
As I was saying, it sounded like God wanted
to offer mercy to Jonah's enemies.
What's mercy?
It's what this whole story is about!
I thought it was about compassion.
Remember?
The menu?
Uh, yeah.
There's that, too.
Better check your menu again.
We got TWO specials today
and they go hand in hand!
Compassion is when you want to help someone
who needs help.
Mercy is when you give someone
a second chance,
even if they don't deserve it!
This story is about both of them!
That's right, my cucumber friend.
You can't have mercy without compassion,
but mercy is even more important!
Jonah was afraid God was going to give
Nineveh a second chance -
that he was going to help them
even though they didn't deserve it!
So what did he do?
Well, never before had he gotten a message
from God that he didn't want to deliver!
He didn't know what to do!
Morning, Jonah!
What's the word?
What? Nothing!
There is no word!
Uh, nothing at all?
No! Nothing at all!
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm very busy!
Good morning, Jonah!
What's the word?
Aah! Stop it!
There is no word! Nothing!
I've got to get out of here!
There is no word.
I have no new messages!
And above all, I am not going to Nineveh!
Sorry, sir!
I can't sell you a ticket to Nineveh!
What? Who are you?
The name's Angus.
I sell cruise tickets!
There's nothing like a cruise on the Great Sea
to clean the sand out of your wicket, aye?
But you can't sail to Nineveh!
It's landlocked!
See?
You can't go by sea.
You got to go by land!
But I don't want to go to...
Oh, hello, Mr. Jonah!
What's the word?
Ah!
He's going to Nineveh!
Oh, really?
I am not going to Nineveh!
Why on Earth would I want to go to Nineveh?
In fact, I'm going in the opposite direction!
What's the farthest thing
in the world from Nineveh?
Well if you have a few days,
you could sail down to Egypt.
It's lovely this time of year.
There!
I want to go there!
What? Tarshish?
Why, that would take weeks!
It's the other end of the world!
Perfect! How much?
Even if you had the money,
no one around here has the time to sail
all the way to Tarshish.
We are The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything!
We just stay home and lie around!
Then again...
And if you ask us to do anything,
We'll just tell you...
We couldn't possibly.
We're very busy with, eh, cargo and stuff...
You know, Pirates have to pillage and plunder
and that really takes it out of you.
And, uh, Alf is on in a half-hour
so I don't think we should, uh...
And besides that,
we don't really sail - at all.
So the answer is no.
Money is no object.
Next stop, Tarshish!
I'll hoist the mainsail!
I'll pop the popcorn!
I'll get the moist towelettes!
Where did we put them?
Hey, Larry, have you seen the towelettes?
I got it! I got it!
No, those are baby wipes.
Sorry!
My fault!
Even though we'd never sailed before,
we took to it like a fish to water!
There she blows!
Where?
Right there!
Next to the grill!
Got it!
6-0!
7-0!
That's a skunk! I win!
Woo! Yeah!
All right! Woo-hoo!
What do you say, Jonah?
Two out of three?
Ahh... No.
I'm done.
Argh!
When we get to Tarshish,
Ho-ho's! On me!
Woo-hoo! Yeah!
He win-y at the ping pong!
We get the ho-ho and the ding-dong!
Ding-dong!
Once we finally got out to sea,
Jonah went below deck to rest a bit.
Oh, what have I done?
What have I done?
You are powerful and attractive.
What? Who's there?
You do not run from your problems,
but confront them face-to-face.
Ah! The bag! It speaks!
Ow!
What did you do that for?
Mr. Twisty?
Who's there?
Show yourself!
Hello!
What are you?
Who, me?
Oh, my name is Khalil.
I am a caterpillar.
Well, that is only half true.
My mother was a caterpillar.
My father was a worm.
But I am okay with that now.
Khalil?
Khalil.
You've got to get your gut into it.
I bet you are wondering why I am here.
Aaah...
you tidy up around the ship?
Oh, no!
I do not work on the ship.
I am a small business operator!
A traveling salesman!
I sell Persian rugs door to door!
See?
Oh, lovely.
By the way,
do you know where this ship is going?
Yes, Tarshish.
Tarshish!
Ha! What a trip!
You know, that may be just what I need!
The Persian rug business has not been
going very well around here.
But I still have a positive mental attitude
because of my motivational tapes!
You are a skilled metalworker.
I am a skilled metalworker!
Ah! I did not know that!
Yes.
Well, that's lovely, Carlyle,
but if you don't mind,
I think I'll just get some rest.
Jonah?
Huh?
You are Jonah!
You know me?
Of course I do!
You are the most famous prophet
in the whole world!
Well,
I don't know if I'd say...
I sell your licensed merchandise!
Look, look, look!
I have the Jonah rugs...
the Jonah plush toy...
with sound chip!
A message from the Lord!
A message from the Lord!
Well,
I'm... flattered...
You are huge!
You are a celebrity!
Well, I...
From town to town delivering God's messages!
What a life!
You are a big shot!
Oh, no!
It's really...
The man God can count on
to deliver his messages!
Yes... well...
You and God are like peas in a pod!
Like two humps on a camel -
you always 'sway the same way!'
Ho-ho-ho!
Oh, that is a good one!
You know,
humor runs very deep in my family!
My uncle was a big star back
at a comedy club in Nineveh...
the Taj Ma-Haha!
Standing room only!
And then he was hit with a fish.
I'm telling you,
those people do not know right from wrong.
Oh, Nineveh.
Hmm?
You are sad now, my friend?
Something about Nineveh
makes you feel sad inside?
I don't really want to talk about it.
I just need some rest.
Oh, you do not have to tell me.
Good.
Because I already know.
You do?
Oh, yes.
There is a woman in Nineveh, is there not?
A beautiful young asparagus!
She is waiting there for you, no?
Um, no.
You were promised to be married,
but your job is now in the way.
The woman's father is the head
of an international ring of camel thieves!
This very day you set sail
for Tarshish to deliver
a message that will break
the back of the camel thieves,
but in the process will break
the heart of the woman you love!
Insight runs very deep in my family.
Do not worry, the first one is free.
Please, Carlyle.
I just need to get some rest.
It's Khalil.
But you can call me Carlyle if you want to!
When we get to Tarshish,
you can deliver the message,
and I'll sell the plush toys!
We can be a team!
A message...
from the Lord!
Uhhh.
Well, sweet dreams traveling buddy!
We can make our plans
to save those camels tomorrow!
You are a go-getter.
Yes!
Which way is Tarshish?
Right this way.
You can't miss it!
Oh, thank you!
Jonah...
What? Who is it?
Jonah!
Where are you going?
Oh! It's you, Lord.
Um, I'm going to...
I'm going...
Jonah!
I'm sorry,
I can't hear you!
Jonah!
I can't hear you!
Lalalalalalala!
Jonah!
I... can't... hear... you!
Jonah!
Jonah! Jonah! Jonah!
No! I can't hear you!
Come on, wake up!
We got trouble!
What?
What's happening?
We're in a storm!
Like I've never seen before!
If we don't do something quick,
we're going to sink!
We seem to have sprung a leak,
traveling buddy!
Huh? Hey!
What are you doing here?
Didn't I tell you to get off my ship,
you lousy leaf-eater?
Well, yes.
But you see, my new friend and I are going to
Tarshish to break the back of the camel thieves!
Crime-fighting runs very deep in my family!
Why, if it wasn't for this storm
I'd make you walk the plank!
And you!
How can you sleep at a time like this?
What's going on?
I'll tell you what's going on!
We're all going to be fish food
if I don't get some help!
Well, what can we do?
Get up and pray to your God!
Maybe he'll have mercy on us
and spare our lives!
Ugh! Oy!
Somebody up there must be really upset with
somebody down here!
Wait a minute! That's it!
All right you two, follow me!
You got an electric eel?
Nope. Go Fish.
One more card...
You are one cheating buccaneer.
How am I supposed to cheat at Go fish?
I don't know...
All right, you lazies!
Game over!
Shuffle them up and deal us in!
But...
He-he.
Okay!
Here's the deal.
The way I see it,
there is a reason for this storm.
Somebody up there is really upset
with somebody down here.
And it ain't going to let up until we know
who that "somebody" is.
It could be any one of us...
I have my suspicions...
But we won't know for sure
until we figure it out scientifically.
All right, men, Go Fish!
Loser takes a swim!
You got a perch?
Nope.
You have any pickerel?
Nope.
You got a muskellunge?
Nope!
Go fish!
Oh, dear!
I am most desperate for a lobster.
Sorry!
Drat!
He-he-he! Oh!
Got any bass?
Yeah.
Octopus?
Blue gill?
Tuna?
Halibut?
You got any trout?
Hmm? What a goose I am!
It's a match!
I had it all along!
Huh?
I thought for sure...
All right!
I admit it.
It's my fault!
All my fault!
I'm the one to blame!
But... I...
the worm...
I am a Hebrew.
And I worship the Lord, the God of heaven,
who made the sea and the land.
And I'm running away from him!
He told me to go to Nineveh,
but I didn't listen!
You know, I don't like those people...
Oooh. Fish slappers.
Yes! So I ran.
I ran and I ended up here.
And now everyone's in terrible danger
all because of me.
I'm afraid the only thing left
is to be thrown into the sea!
you don't have to do that.
We got a plank.
You can just walk off.
Yes... thank you.
You're too kind.
Well, Jonah, old buddy.
It was nice knowing you.
Normally you'd be entitled to a refund,
but under the circumstances - you know,
with you dying and all...
No, I don't suppose a refund
would do me much good now, would it?
Ah, thanks!
You're a trooper.
Ain't he a trooper?
But the camels...
Oh...
Hey! Wait a minute!
I just remembered something!
Maybe you don't have to walk the plank,
after all!
Huh?
Every winter my cousin from Moose Lake
asks me to take care of this...
Oooooh.
Cool.
What is it?
This, my friends, is a Jupiter 1600-horsepower,
high-octane, dual propeller,
pull ignition, outboard motor
with the optional chrome trim package.
Oooooh.
Cool.
What is it?
It gets us back to Joppa.
Oh.
Well, how does it work?
That I don't know.
Perhaps I could help.
You know, technical competency runs very...
I know, very deep in your family.
Oh!
Our reputation precedes us!
Well then, it appears that one should
pull the cord and then, perhaps,
push this black bubbly thingy.
No!
Maybe it's the other way around.
Perhaps if one first pushes the black bubbly
thingy and then pulls the cord...
brrrrrrr...
Aaah!
See?
Ahhhhh!
Yep.
That's how it works.
It has been delightful,
but I must go now...
Oh Lord, don't let us die for this man's sin.
And don't hold us responsible for his death,
because it isn't our fault.
Oh Lord, you have sent this storm upon him
for your own good reasons.
And keep my ducky safe.
Amen.
That was easy.
Well, should we pull him back in?
Uh, I don't see why not.
Something touched me!
There's... there's something in the water!
Hurry up! Hurry!
I'm hurrying!
Hold on, Jonah!
Aim this time!
I was aiming!
I can never tell where you're looking...
You should talk!
Hurry!
Fellows, please!
Pull it back in.
Hurry!
Okay, okay!
I got it!
Let me do that!
No, no!
I'll throw it!
Fellows, please!
Come on!
Give it here!
I said I got it!
Excuse me, gentlemen!
Perhaps I can be of assistance.
Oops.
Heh?
Whoooa! Ugh! Whoooa!
Man the cannon!
Aye, aye Cap'n!
We ain't got no ammo!
Oh yes we do!
Fire one!
Fire two!
Hello?
Fire three!
I'm coming traveling buddy!
Traveling buddy?
Where are you?
Hmmm!
Oh look, a bowling ball.
If I could only find some pins...
You found better than that, traveling buddy!
It's me!
Oh, my...
So forget about Tarshish!
All we need to do is get this whale
to swim to Nineveh!
You give the message - I sell the plush toys -
we'll be right back on track!
Carlyle, please don't speak to me.
I'm having a rather bad day.
Well you don't need to be so down about it,
Mr. Grumpy-pants!
Look around you!
We're inside a whale!
We're going to be digested!
Do you know what that means?
Of course I do!
Digestion runs very deep in my family.
I'm just trying to have a positive outlook,
you know!
You know the difference between you and me
is that you see the whale as half empty,
but I see the whale as half full!
I don't know what that means.
Neither do I.
Oh, I might as well face it.
God gave me a job to do and I disobeyed him.
I ran the other way!
I've done something terrible
and now I'm getting what I deserve.
I'm going to die here in this whale.
Have you ever seen anything so pathetic?
Mmm-mmm.
This boy needs some help!
What? Who's there?
Take it easy, Jonah!
We're on your side!
How did you know my name?
How did you get in here?
Were you in the bowling ball, too?
Uh, no.
That's not how we get around.
No, we came straight from the big man himself!
You mean...
Mmm-Hmm!
And just like you, we deliver his messages!
So you're prophets, too?
Not exactly.
You see, we work on a slightly higher level.
You do?
And Jonah, we've got a message for you!
You're feeling pretty blue.
You didn't do what God requested. Oh!
Yeah, I'd be moping too,
if I was gonna be digested!
This ain't a pretty picture, no.
I said, it ain't a pretty sight, no.
You ran from God this morning and you're...
...whale chow tonight!
But...
Hold up! Hang on!
Not so fast!
Your life ain't over yet!
See, we're here to tell you all about...
...the forgiveness that...
...you can get!
You see, God's a God of mercy,
God's a God of love.
And right now, he's gonna lend
a helping hand from up above!
Praise the Lord!
He's a God of second chances!
You'll be floored!
How his love, your life enhances!
You can be restored from
your darkest circumstances!
Our God is a God of second chances!
Ain't it good to know a God
who gives a second chance!
Why, that's enough to get a smile
from Mr. Grumpy-pants!
So if you say you're sorry
for all the stuff you do,
We know that he'll be ready
with a second chance for you!
Praise the Lord!
He's a God of second chances!
You'll be floored!
How his love, your life enhances!
You can be restored from
the darkest circumstances!
Our God is a God of second chances!
Our God is a God...
If you believe God's love is true,
Then you should know What you should do!
If you believe God's love is true,
Then you should know What you should do!
If you believe God's love is true,
Then you should know What you should do!
If you believe God's love is true,
Then you should know What you should do!
God gives a second chance!
Second chances!
Second chances!
Praise the Lord!
He's a God of second chances!
You'll be floored when you're restored
from your darkest circumstances!
Our God is a God...
Second chances!
Second chances!
Praise the Lord!
He's a God of second chances!
You'll be floored when you're restored
from your darkest circumstances!
Our God is a God...
Second chances!
If you believe God's love is true,
Then you should know What you should do!
If you believe God's love is true,
Then you should know What you should do!
Second chances!
Second chances!
Praise the Lord!
He's a God of second chances!
You'll be floored when you're restored
from your darkest circumstances!
Our God is a God...
Second Chances!
Our God is a God...
Yeah!
Our God is a God...
Second Chances!
So from inside the whale, Jonah prayed
and asked God to forgive him for not obeying.
He told God that if he got another chance,
he would go to Nineveh,
even though he didn't
like those people very much.
So did he get another chance?
Shouldn't you be looking out
for your tow truck?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That can wait.
Did Jonah get another chance?
Well, God saw that Jonah needed help,
and he wanted to help him.
That's compassion!
But did he give him a second chance
even though he didn't deserve it?
You know, mercy?
After three days,
Jonah noticed something strange happening...
Oh! Reginald! Good to see you!
Yes... well...
So God told the whale to burp up Jonah -
and Jonah got his second chance!
And just like he promised,
Turn back! Turn back! Turn back!
The slapping! The slapping!
Turn back! Turn back! Turn back!
Go in, give the message, get out...
Go in, give the message, get out...
Who goes there?
Ah, yes!
My name is Jonah.
And I'm a prophet from...
You're not from here, are you?
Um, no, you see, I'm from...
That would make you a stranger, wouldn't it?
Well, um, yes.
I suppose so.
But I...
We don't like strangers.
No... yes, I've heard that.
But you see I have a...
So why are you here?
Well, I have a message.
A message?
For who?
Well, for everyone!
For the whole city!
You've got a message for the whole city?
... the whole city?
Oh, that's rich!
I'll alert the king! "Your honor!
A bleached asparagus has a message for us all!"
Most important!
I do not think this is going very well.
Oh, let's just go home!
I did what you said,
I guess it just wasn't meant to be.
Jonah?
What?
It is our friends from the ship!
What on earth?
What are you doing here?
What are you doing here?
Yea... you're... you're...
...fish food!
The whale spit us out
like so much bad couscous,
and here we are now,
delivering the message to Nineveh!
But they wouldn't let us in,
so I guess we're going home.
Hey, I bet we could get him in...
Huh?
Hey, look!
It's the cheese curls blokes!
Oh, right!
Coming back for a visit, are you?
Yup!
Ahem...
Is this fellow with you?
Oh, yes!
He's with us!
You're with them, eh?
Yes, indeed!
Why, I sailed halfway across
the world with these...
fine... gentlemen.
All right.
You can come in.
Enjoy your stay in Nineveh.
What was that all about?
How did you do that?
Remember that money you gave us?
Eh, by the way,
you aren't going to want that refund, are you?
Ah...
Good.
'Cause we spent it!
Every last penny!
On cheese curls!
Cheese curls?
Yup!
1458 bags of "Mister Twisty's
Twisted Cheese Curls!"
And you'll never guess what
we found in bag 497...
The golden ticket!
We won the "Mister Twisty's
Twisted Cheese Curl Sweepstakes!"
Ah-ha!
And the prize was...?
Uh huh!
But in addition to our enviably
fashionable headgear,
we also got a tour of Mister Twisty's factory,
right here in Nineveh!
Which, despite its unseemly location,
was a splendid experience!
And, believe it or not,
in this town we're famous!
Hey, look!
Here comes a city official to greet us!
Hello!
We were in the neighborhood,
so we thought we'd...
These are the men!
Arrest them at once!
But...
Excuse me.
What have they done?
Thievery!
High theft against the Royal City of Nineveh!
That's ridiculous!
Oh, is it?
No! Wait!
I thought they were free samples!
Take them away!
You can't do that!
I'm sorry...
Are you with these men?
Well, um, yes, I suppose...
Hello? What are you doing?
Oh! Wonderful!
It must be time for my speech!
Hey! I can't move!
I can't move, either!
What?
Have I got something on my face?
This doesn't look good...
I'm sorry, guys!
I thought they were free samples.
They were right out there in the open,
in a big bowl.
Very misleading!
Oh, don't go blaming yourself!
No, blame HIM!
"Let's put it all in cheese curls," he says.
"No," I say,
"We need a balanced portfolio!"
A little stock, a little bonds,
a little cash or cash equivalents.
And then maybe some snacks.
But no.
"Put it all in cheese curls!" he says.
Man, you got to plan for the future!
What?
It got us here, didn't it?
Not "here" literally!
But we were somebody!
We were celebrities!
We are going to die!
People of Nineveh!
These four men and that small...
whatever-it-is...
I am a caterpillar!
Well, that is only half true...
Have been found guilty of high thievery
against the Royal City of Nineveh!
For their punishment -
"The Slap of No Return!"
What's so funny?
Observe!
No!
What is happening that is making you all cry
like little babies?
Why on earth do you take snack food
so seriously?
People of Nineveh!
I give you...
It's Mister Twisty.
Well, that explains it!
He looks happier on the bag.
Your royal gourdliness, these are the
perpetrators of the heinous act
against your curls of cheese!
For their punishment -
"The Slap of No Return!"
Proceed.
Wait!
Won't you at least give the guilty parties
a chance to speak in their own defense?
You may speak.
Well, as I understand it,
the snacks in question
were right out in the open,
in a large bowl!
I think we'll all agree
this was somewhat misleading.
Don't you think?
Slap them.
No!
You don't understand!
I'm not REALLY with them.
I mean, how could I be?
While they were taking the tour,
I was in the belly of a whale!
What did you say?
I said, while they were on the tour,
I was in the belly of a whale!
But you're not dead!
No! That's just it!
I was in the whale for three days and nights!
Then I prayed to my God, and the great monster
spit me up onto the shore.
So that I could bring you all a message.
Hmm...
Asparagus, here in Nineveh
we bow to the Great Fish.
We celebrate the Great Fish in our art.
Yes, I noticed.
If what you are saying is true...
Yes!
How do we know if he is telling the truth, sire?
Smell him.
Your highness?
Smell him.
Ooooooh!
I'm terribly sorry.
I've been meaning to shower,
but...
He has been in the Great Fish.
We must hear the message.
What?
Oh, the message.
Yes... the message.
What was the message?
Come on!
It's been so long,
I... Oh, yes.
Ahem... Stop it!
Stop cheating!
Stop lying!
And especially,
stop slapping people with fishes!
Or this entire city will be destroyed!
A message from the Lord!
Well, the king was very upset!
He had no idea they weren't
suppose to do that stuff!
No one had ever told him before!
A decree from the king!
Let everyone call urgently to God.
Let them give up their
evil ways and their violence.
Perhaps the God that brought this man out
of the Great Fish will give us a second chance!
And let the asparagus and his friends go free!
So the king and the people of Nineveh
said they were sorry,
stopped the fish-slapping
and started being nice to people.
Wow! That's great!
Yeah! Everyone must have been
really happy, right?
Well, almost everyone.
Yes, thank you!
Thank you!
Thank you, thank you!
So long!
Yes, thank you very much!
You see, Jonah figured God wouldn't
really forgive the Ninevites.
I mean, they'd done some terrible stuff.
No! He figured God had something else in mind.
What are we doing?
Oh, it's time to watch the fun!
And what fun would that be?
Well, I did what I was supposed to do.
I warned them that they were going
to get in big trouble!
So now that they've had their warning,
it's time to watch God wipe them
off the face of the Earth!
Aha!
I picked a safe distance so we won't get singed.
Oh, this is going to be great!
The bad guys finally getting what they deserve!
So Jonah waited for God to destroy Nineveh.
Even now, God was compassionate towards
Jonah and caused a plant to grow
that shaded him from the hot sun.
Hmm? Oh! Yes! Very nice!
Thank you! Very nice!
Jonah kept waiting.
But it didn't seem like anything was happening!
He wondered if maybe God
was forgetting something.
All right! I did my job!
So... Fire!
Brimstone! Whatever! You pick!
Right over there!
I'll just sit here under my weed and wait.
What, what happened?
What? How could you?
Hmm?
All your whining made me hungry!
It was just a weed...
Just a weed?
It... it was my shade!
It was my friend!
Oh, dear Lord, how could you let this happen?
Would you look at yourself?
You care more about that weed than about
all the people in Nineveh!
Well, I...
Why are you here now instead of back in
the belly of that whale?
Because God is compassionate,
he wanted to help you!
And because he is merciful,
he gave you a second chance!
Oh, yes!
And I'm very grateful...
Has it ever occurred to you
that maybe God loves everybody?
Not just you!
That maybe he wants to give everyone
a second chance?
Uh, well...
He saw that those people needed help -
that they didn't know right from wrong -
and he wanted to help them!
And that is why he sent you!
Ah...
And when you told them what they were
doing wrong they said they were sorry.
They put down their mackerels
and their halibuts.
And they asked God for a second chance.
And by golly, he gave them one!
Don't you see?
God wants to give everyone a second chance!
And so should we!
Well, if they get a second chance -
those fish-slappers -
well, then, it would be better if I were dead!
Oh, I wish I were back in that whale!
You are pathetic.
You know, patience runs very deep
in my family, but not that deep.
I am out of here!
What?
What are you doing?
I wanted to be big and important, just like you!
But the world doesn't need more people
who are big and important.
The world needs more people who are nice
and compassionate and merciful.
That's what I want to be.
You can find yourself a new traveling buddy.
Goodbye.
You can't just leave!
Can and am!
But who will I talk to?
You can't just leave me here all alone!
Hello? Carlyle? Reginald?
Carlyle? Khalil? Khalil?
Khhhalil? Ohh!
The end!
Wait a minute!
It's over?
Yup!
That's how it ends?
Yup!
But what did Jonah learn?
The question, my friends,
is not "what did Jonah learn."
The question is,
"what did you learn?"
Well, I learned that we need to help people
who need help...
And we need to give second chances.
Even if they don't deserve them.
But what's that got to do with us?
Hey, tomato...
Heh?
Your friend there, the big asparagus.
If I'm not mistaken,
he didn't do such a good job
helping you with the map.
Oh, it was a disaster!
He said he was sorry and that he'd do better
next time, but no way! Uh uh, I...
Mercy.
I guess everyone deserves a second chance.
Yup!
Now get out of here
before my crab legs get cold!
You know, that still wasn't
a very good way to end a story!
Well, what do you want?
A big musical number?
Well... yeah!
Who do they think I am?
Twippo?
Yes?
Twippo! Yeah...
What are you doing here?
Well, I've a concert tonight,
but I'm running late!
Can't find Route 59 to save my life!
I stopped here for directions.
We're going to your concert tonight!
At least we were...
And then... porcupines!
... and underwear!
... and pirates!
And now it looks like
we aren't going to make it at all.
Good heavens!
Well, if it's a ride you need,
I've plenty of room on my bus...
you can all come with me!
Yay!
Yeah. Everyone but me.
Laura, you can have my ticket.
But, Junior, it was my fault.
Why, that was a very merciful thing to do!
Tell you what,
I'll give you all a ride to the concert.
And I'll make sure you ALL have
backstage passes!
Yeah!
Speaking of mercy, have any of you heard
the story of a man named Jonah?
Yes.
Oh.
Well, uh, would you like to hear
a song about it?
Is it like the bald bunny song?
Ah, not really.
It's more of a big musical number.
Perfect!
When I was a boy I went to church back home
in Arizona And that is where I heard
the tale of a man whose name was Jonah!
Now Jonah was a prophet,
but that's not why he's remembered.
We tell the tale 'cause in a whale
he nearly was dismembered!
Jonah was a prophet!
Ooh, ooh!
But he really never got it!
Sad, but true!
If you've been watching you can spot it!
Doodle-ee-doo!
He did not get the point!
Compassion and mercy!
From me to you and you to me!
Exactly what God wants to see!
And yes, that is the point!
Jonah was a prophet!
Ooh, ooh!
But he really never got it!
Sad, but true!
If you've been watching you can spot it!
Doodle-ee-doo!
He did not get the point!
Now Jonah set sail On a pirate ship
in a dreadful gale
Got eaten up by a giant whale
But managed not to be dead.
You'd think he would learn a lot
From being saved from an awful spot
But the second chance that he had got
He didn't want to be spread!
So poor old Jonah!
Now he's all alone-a!
Got to use a megaphone-a!
To get it through to his head!
Hey!
Jonah was a prophet!
Ooh, ooh!
But he really never got it!
Sad, but true!
If you've been watching you can spot it!
Doodle-ee-doo!
He did not get the point!
Jonah was a prophet!
Ooh, ooh!
But he really never got it!
Sad, but true!
If you've been watching you can spot it!
Doodle-ee-doo!
He did not get the point!
Now, true, in your life you probably
don't ride on a camel
And you probably won't wake up inside a large,
aquatic mammal.
But all the same, like Jonah,
there is something you can do
Everyone deserves to get
a second chance from you!
Compassion and mercy!
From me to you and you to me!
Exactly what God wants to see!
And yes, that is the point!
Jonah was a prophet!
Ooh, ooh!
But he really never got it!
Sad, but true!
Jonah was a prophet!
Ooh, ooh!
But he really never got it!
Sad, but true!
Jonah was a prophet!
Yah! Twippo!
I beg your pardon.
I hate to break up the party,
but who needed a tow?
Ah...
Have we met?