Jump, Darling (2020) Movie Script

- What if I took
a month off, and...
we went to...
I don't know, New York
or LA, and...
we'll get you
some new headshots,
meet some new agents...
We always said that we wanted
to live somewhere else.
Could be good.
We'll get you back into acting.
- I just can't
watch you do this...
gay variety show shit anymore.
- Normally, I'd be introducing
the legendary
Longshlonged Fairy,
but the bitch has taken
her pompadour
to the city
of brotherly love
to win big. So, instead,
I give you Fishy Falters.
- What the hell, man?
You're on!
- Where are you gonna go?
- Don't forget Cindy's
Liver Sprinkles.
She won't eat
without it.
- What about money?
- I stocked the freezer.
You're good for a month.
- Do I look like
a slot machine?
You want your bags or not,
- Hello?
- Get the hell out of my house,
you prowling son of a bitch!
- Hi, Grams.
- Russell.
So, to what
do I owe this...
long-awaited yet highly
unnerving surprise?
Is that my handwriting?
God, barely legible.
- Did you burn your hair?
- What would make you say that?
- Well, it's burnt.
- You should talk. You look like
you've been hit with a shovel.
I wasn't expecting
company, you know.
- Shall I make us dinner, then?
- Oh, please.
- It's very good, darling.
What is that?
- It's your meatloaf.
- I should cook more often.
So, to what do I owe
this much-anticipated visit?
- I'm here for the car.
- It's in mint condition,
I'll have you know.
Any trips planned?
- To the end of the earth.
- If you find it, darling,
please, draw me a map.
isn't this nice?
You'll stay and
cook for me, I hope.
- Actually, from here
I plan to, uh...
check out
this acting workshop.
Well, you might wanna get your
hair cut first. And some rest.
- I've been busy, I guess.
- Oh? Good.
And how is, um... oh, um...
- Justin?
- I know his name.
- He's fine.
- It's a shame
he didn't join you.
- He's fine, Grams.
- Well, stay
as long as you need.
- I'll be hitting the road
in the morning.
- How very efficient.
- Oh, darling. Good God.
- I just...
nodded off. It's no big deal.
- You know, your grandfather
thought himself an artist.
I think this car
would... would...
really be good for sale.
If I put it up for sale.
I think I just might do that.
Goodnight, darling.
Leaving already?
- I've got the workshop.
- Are you taking the car?
- Nope.
- How will you get there?
- Don't worry about it.
- This workshop starts
straight away, then?
Where'd you say it was?
- East of here.
- How precise.
- I'm not exactly sure
where it is yet.
- Well, I should think
you'd wanna find out,
since you're practically
on your way.
- I'll get to it.
- A man without directions.
Very unattractive, darling.
- It was good
to see you, Grams.
- Russell, darling?
Could you come back inside
for a moment, please?
- Jesus!
- I'm not myself, darling.
I'm sure you've noticed.
Could you help me
into the shower?
This feels wonderful.
It's been a while.
- Since you had a shower?
- Well, I hardly do anything, so
I can't possibly be very dirty.
- Maybe I should... call Mom.
- No, no, no, no, no.
She'd rush over here
like some kind of bullet train
and take me to that place.
All because I'm a little
sleep deprived.
- Does she know that you're
having trouble sleeping?
- Just leave it, darling.
Worry about yourself.
- Pop the trunk.
- Pony up, Mufasa.
I've been here
like twenty minutes.
- I was gonna stop at an ATM.
- Well, I guess it's gonna be
another one from your
collection, huh?
Hey, if you ever sort out your
cash situation, let me know.
I can get you
the harder stuff.
- You better be off, then.
- I think I'll stay. For a bit.
Maybe you could hold off on
putting the car up for sale?
- Put it up for sale?
I kept it for you.
- Come on.
- What can I do for you,
- Is this some sort
of gay night?
- County and college queers
need a lighthouse. I'm it.
- Well, let's ante it up then,
shall we?
Let me pick one.
- You're certainly not an early
riser, are you, darling?
- Russell! Oh! Oh!
- Sorry, Grams.
- That man was retarded.
What? He was. He was!
- I think he was just old.
- Careful.
- People don't say "retarded"
anymore, Grams.
- Oh, for God's sake, darling.
- How much? For all of them.
- My wife says some of them
are human.
I don't know which ones.
- Pretty sure
they're synthetic.
What do you think?
- Have you come down
with cancer?
- She's got dementia.
- How 'bout a hundred bucks?
What a fabulous surprise!
Oh, how I've missed you
at bridge!
Well, now who is this Greek god
glowing under
the fluorescent lights?
I'm Jeanne.
- Russell.
- This is my grandson.
- I can tell the girls
I finally met the "actor".
Now, when are you gonna give
this queen of yours
some great-grandkids, huh?
I already have five.
Five already.
Well, it's marvellous
to see you out preparing
one of your famous feasts
for the next generation.
Margaret, do please try
and come to the next game.
Good to see you.
Nice to meet you.
- Bitch.
- Ha! Grams!
- Next up is our arts
and culture correspondent,
fresh off his book launch,
in which he says fear is good.
Like self-doubt, fear is an
indicator. Fear tells us...
- This is familiar.
- It's a news cycle,
Grams. It repeats.
- The fire we reported
at the old fire hall
is still burning out of control.
There are no reports
of injuries,
but a three-block area
has been evacuated.
You might want to avoid that
route on the way home from work.
- I'll put a brighter bulb
in the lighthouse
if I can
drink for free.
The name's Fishy Falters.
- Sold.
You got a microphone?
- All you queers best pull out
your iQueens
and text
every homo you know,
because tonight, this place
is getting a serious reno.
- Russell? Russell Hill.
Derek! Derek Johnson!
Trinity College '09!
This is my wife Molly.
I live out here now.
Date night with the gays.
- I'm totally ape
for Pointer Sisters.
- Scissor Sisters.
- So, this is, like,
what you do now?
I thought you'd be
in Hollywood, man.
- Derek!
- Seriously. You were gonna be
like Andrew Garfield, no?
- This is just a hobby.
Look at you!
- It's nice to meet you.
- Aw...
How 'bout a shot?
You wanna hang out sometime?
Toss a football around?
- I don't need the practice.
- So what are you into, then?
- Sorry?
- I got the impression
this was working for you.
Was I mistaken?
- Hard to say.
In your regular
threads, though.
- Sixty.
- A hundred.
- Seventy-five.
- A hund--
- OK, fuck it.
- What the hell is that?
- Music, Grams. It plays music.
- The attic is a good place
for it, then.
What are you doing
up there, anyhow?
- Meditation!
- How contemporary.
- Dear God.
- You said the room
had no character.
- It sure as hell does now.
- You should get back
into bridge.
- Oh, please.
- Beach?
- Shit, girl,
I forgot my bikini.
You seem like
a dog person.
- I do?
- Yep.
Like a snout-kissing,
tail-pulling pooch cuddler.
- OK.
So you're an actor?
- Was.
- Was?
So, what, you're
a drag queen now?
- Sometimes.
- Is that a legit job?
- Can be.
- What's the degree for that?
- So, uh, what about you?
What's your deal, anyway?
- I'm a student at Loyalist.
- Student of what?
- Anatomy.
- Seriously.
- I don't feel
like being serious.
Let's go swimming.
Take your time.
After you.
- OK, OK.
Shit, it's cold.
That was a little aggressive.
- Aren't you used
to being humiliated?
- Miss Fishy getting a Brazilian
or something?
- Those wigs are
junkyard shit anyway.
- You work here, right?
- Sort of.
- I'm on vacay at
my sister-in-law's, right,
and she tells me there's some
fantastic queen kicking around.
In bloody wine country!
Where is she?
- That was a one-off.
- Oh, well, that's a fucking
tragedy, ain't it?
Do I know you?
- Don't think so.
- I run Peckers, in the city.
You heard of it? Peckers.
- Yeah, of course.
It's an institution.
- Right. Best ass, best chest,
pageant, and queens every night,
the whole fucking lot.
So I always need new blood,
keep the roster fresh,
you know what I mean?
- Yeah, well, I'll see if I can
find her number for you.
- Good. 'Cause you see,
if I find new blood,
I'll test it out.
You know what I mean?
- Like I said, I'll see
if I can find her number.
- 'Cause the boys who got
the guts to put on face
and do it proper,
you know what I mean?
I'm gonna help 'em out.
But I mean, there's only
so much I can do.
Like a few weeks back,
I had this new girl, right?
Ask me for a spot
on the show on Satty,
was thinking of going
professional-- the real deal.
And from what I heard,
she got the tits for it.
But then she ditched
without a word.
- What a bitch.
- Yeah.
Jacqueline O'Nasty had
to double up on the spot.
Well, she's earned it, I guess.
You see, my stage
matters too much
for dilettantes or girls who
haven't got titanium bollocks,
you know what I mean?
- Right.
- Bye, Hannah! See you tomorrow.
- Something is off.
- Oh, stop fussing, darling.
- Hey, Mom.
- Your mother
scared the living daylights
out of me this morning.
- Mother, I come
every month, same time.
- Whatever you say, darling.
- May I have some time
with Russell alone, please?
- Ene, have you done something
different with your hair?
- No.
She's a little testy
at the moment.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- How are you?
- Fine. How are you?
- Your grandmother seems
to think that you've moved in.
- Well, that's one
- Is there another one?
- No. Maybe. I don't know.
- I barely hear from you,
and now suddenly
you're squatting
at your grandmother's house.
- I am looking after her.
- Where's Justin?
- At home.
- Do you know what
she told me this morning?
That she might have had
a small stroke.
Apparently, she almost
blew her head off.
Why the hell didn't you tell me
that when you found her?
I've been trying to get her
to Millbrook for months!
- Well, she doesn't want that.
- Of course she doesn't want
that. Nobody wants that.
- Well, exactly.
- Look, I don't
give a shit
about that
right now.
Will you please tell me
what the hell is going on?
You certainly can't be doing
any auditions up here.
- I can't?
- Know anything
about that?
It's underlined. Pretty out of
character for your grandmother
to be writing
$4,000 cheques these days.
Did Justin cut you off
or something?
- Not exactly.
- Well, then what exactly?
- We broke up.
What happened?
Was it sudden?
Was it about money?
- No, it was not about money.
- Well, your compatibility
never promising, astrologically.
- Very vibrant.
- At times.
- It's quite spacious.
- Well.
- Plenty of wall space.
You said this was available
- Say the word.
- The view is very bucolic.
- Sometimes, I think...
your father had the right idea.
- Pardon me?
- He got off the bus
when he realised
it wasn't going anywhere.
- May we have a minute, please?
- Of course.
- The balcony is lovely.
- Yeah.
Good for a quick exit.
- Mother!
- If you're gonna imprison me
here in this asylum,
why shouldn't I behave
like a madwoman?
- Don't be so dramatic.
- Oh, no.
What would you call it, then?
- Keeping you safe.
- Oh God, darling,
safe from what?
- Safe from what? Safe
from falling down the stairs,
setting yourself on fire!
- Would that really be so bad?
Things are perfectly fine
with Russell and me.
- He is stealing from you,
- Nonsense.
What the hell will I need
the money for, anyway?
Less to pay for this hellhole.
Here we go.
Come on now. Hold my hand.
Hold this hand too.
You're good.
You cleared it. OK, OK!
- Hungry?
- This is
very good, darling.
Tell me, who does
most of the cooking?
You or...
- Justin.
- I know his name!
- About even, I guess.
- Couples who cook together
stay together.
- Ahem! Mother, tomorrow,
I'm going to meet
with the real estate agent.
- Well, I should think
you'd need my permission.
- You gave me your permission
when you gave me power
of attorney.
- I don't know what that means.
- If you think Millbrook is
such a prison,
we can talk
about my place.
- Oh, God.
- That just horrifies you?
- Oh, God.
- You're a Taurus,
I get it.
- Oh, hell.
- Even if you did put the house
on the market right away,
it could take months
to sell out here.
- Quite right, darling.
- Easy on the wine.
- Hey, Grams?
What's the story
with this?
- I don't know
what you're holding.
I'll be damned.
- She almost joined
the Ice Capades...
But it was wartime.
- And?
- I don't know, darling.
Part sport, part art form--
I couldn't explain it.
Seemed like a dead end.
- That's quite the smile.
I've heard the story before.
I just wanted
to hear it again.
- I made you some tea.
It's decaffeinated.
- Can I have
a hug, please?
Talk to me.
- What do you wanna know?
- Russell...
- I... I don't know
what to tell you.
- You were with him for years.
- Look, Mom, it's fine, OK?
I'll be fine.
- What about work?
- I can... work
from out here.
You know, take the train
into the city when I need to.
Find a sitter.
- So...
is he still
supporting you?
- Mom, enough with
the fucking money.
- Have you been cast
in anything lately?
- Are we really doing this
right now?
- Look,
you took a big risk, you chose
something that is very difficult
and you're
already tempestuous.
- Yes, yes, I am
a shitty actor.
- I have always been
very supportive of you.
But you're a Pisces.
- And this family has a history.
- Yup.
- He made you so happy.
- He made you happy.
- I don't even know
what is going on, and you're
being very defensive.
- He... met someone else.
- Well, he sure as hell will
still be supporting you, then.
What an asshole!
- Mom.
- Sorry. Sorry.
- Look, Grams and I have
a good thing going.
- And by good thing, you mean
paying yourself a salary?
- No.
I mean keeping her from having
to move into that shithole.
- It's not a shithole!
OK, it's...
a little drab, maybe.
- I'll repay the money,
- How?
- I actually found
some work in town.
As a DJ.
- As in disc jockey?
- Yeah.
And I'm getting her back
into bridge.
- OK.
- This is my favourite spot.
- It's impressive.
- But lonely.
- Exactly.
- So do you bring
all your dates here?
Only the slutty ones.
- What's funny?
- Ene?
- So he lied about the cheating?
- Yeah.
- Well, so?
He likes drag.
So what?
- Yeah, for shits
and giggles, sure.
But as a legit career?
- Well, is he any good?
- He wanted to be an actor,
and now his sphere of ambition
has become bar stardom.
I do need to respect him.
- Hard to explain
to the other suits
at law society events, I guess?
- What's up, darkness?
- I need a job.
- What do you have in mind?
- I'll DJ.
Thursday through Saturday, every
week, 5 bucks cover at the door.
- This is the only gayish bar
for a hundred klicks.
I don't do cover.
- OK. 300 a night, then.
- Oof... I mean, I could
probably do 100 a night,
one night a week,
and if you do it in drag.
- What, so basically I'm just
a volunteer service around here?
OK, easy there, sister.
Sky, my girl!
- Hey, Hannah.
Is Zach here yet?
- He's not working tonight.
- We're meeting here
for drinks. I'm Sky.
Zach's girlfriend.
- It's not particularly
but it makes you feel
like more of a man.
Hi. I'm Fishy.
- Luca.
- Sky.
- Hi, good to see you again.
- Did Sky here mention
we've become acquainted?
- Oh yes.
- You'll have to excuse me,
I was in a bit of a state.
See, Hannah can be
sort of a battle-axe.
- Thought the DJ booth was
dark tonight, Russell.
- We're all in the dark,
seems like.
- Something to drink?
- Oh no, thank you, I'm turning
over a new leaf.
- So...
You're the drag DJ.
- Oh, is that all
that Zach's told you?
- If you don't mind,
we don't really get to
hang out that
often just the three of us.
- Hey, Zach, chill out.
- Yeah, rude.
- So, um, drag, for you,
is that like a gay thing
or a gender thing?
- Drag isn't so much about
who or how you fuck
as it is about saying...
fuck you.
You know, fuck you to the boxes.
Fuck you to the shame.
And fuck you to being
your own whipping boy.
How 'bout I demonstrate?
May I?
- OK...
This'll do you nice. Now,
let's put on your face.
- Polly, Delia, this is
Margaret, the Columbia grad.
We have all become
such good friends
since my Bill died,
haven't we, girls?
And Margaret, it is such a shame
that I forgot to invite you
to the funeral.
- One heart?
- Pass.
- You're so quiet, Margaret.
- I always get
the damnedest hands.
- Oh, come now.
You and Bill used
to take this table by storm.
But you never were one
to be lost without
a man, were you?
- So am I to--
- Bid, Margaret.
- Pass, or depending
on your count--
- Oh now, now, now, no. No,
Marg is a very talented player.
My Bill wouldn't partner
with anybody else,
would he, Margaret?
He always said that Margaret's
impressive management career
made her ready for combat
at the card table.
- Vintage 2006 pot pie.
- That's an interesting
- What?
- Pot pie and spirits.
- I think it's the whole
- Nonsense.
Your grandfather, he fancied
himself an artist, you know.
- Well, he was just a drunk.
It practically ruined
your mother.
- Well, she turned out alright.
- I'm surprised she can bring
herself to talk about it.
- You're talking about it.
- Yes, darling, well, it's...
ancient history now.
If she was overprotective
of you, that's why.
Made her weak, darling.
All that self-help nonsense.
- Well, she was pretty
comfortable talking about it.
- Why must everybody talk
about everything these days?
There's no shame,
absolutely none.
- You brought it up.
- We're just thrilled that
you didn't inherit the gene.
- What gene?
- He stole money
to pay for booze.
From wherever he could.
It was a terrible thing.
Of course I'm forgetful,
darling. I forget things.
I'm sure that's what it is.
I'm sure of it.
I don't care about
the money, of course.
I just like to keep
track of things.
- He overdosed on pills, right?
- That would've been
far too elegant.
- How did he do it, then?
- Don't be pushy, darling.
- I thought it was
ancient history.
- Oh, for the love
of God, drop it!
- It just seems like you
specifically brought him up
to share the story with me.
- He jumped off a hotel balcony
and made a giant mess
of a Manhattan sidewalk
for some blue-collar immigrant
to deal with.
- I hope
you're hungry.
I was up early, so I thought
I'd make us breakfast.
- Well, this is lovely.
- I'm leaving.
- What?
- I've arranged for a service
to come in
and check on you
and bring you groceries.
I'll be back every week
until I work out something
more permanent.
- Darling, I don't understand.
- This way,
you can stay here.
And when Mom shows up,
she'll see that you don't need
to move to Millbrook.
These are the phone numbers
and details you need.
Mine's in there too.
I owe you more,
that's just an installment.
- Where are you going?
- I need to focus on acting,
and I can't do that
out here. Look,
I can call Mom if you want, but
I thought this way was better.
Grams, I'm sorry.
- You'll take the car?
You know,
I remember...
when I got my driver's license.
Suddenly, so much freedom.
I need you to do
something for me.
- Grams, I can't stay.
- I need you to get me
some pills.
- What?
- Something strong,
so I can take fewer.
I'm serious.
I'm tired.
What can I do? I'm no longer
I don't add anything.
I don't even...
remember what I like to do.
- Then I'll stay.
- Darling, my whole life, I've
been fighting for... something,
so preoccupied with...
but I couldn't for the life
of me tell you what it is.
But you know your preoccupation,
don't you?
This is as bad
as I want it to get.
- Then I'll stay. I'll stay.
- No, darling.
- He must be prepared, each day,
to confront his own
- The attack occurred in the
southern part of the country,
in what some describe
as a hotbed--
- How's the food?
- Oh, it's fine.
- How about the activities?
- I don't really participate.
- Why not?
- I don't know, they don't
interest me much, I guess.
- Well, what kind
of activities are there?
- Oh, I couldn't say.
- So...
are you happy?
Russell. I'm Jacqueline O'Nasty.
- Well, Fishy Falters, actually.
- Oh. Oh, you.
The Polkaroo.
- Is Rene here?
I need to get up there.
- Are you out of the treehouse?
- I have something really solid.
- You can show me your solid
in the back room, if you like,
when I'm done, but right now
what you need
is a little rye and reliability.
OK, corn flake?
- Hey.
- No fucking entry, man.
- Rene, it's Russell.
From the county.
- The closet queen.
- Can I get on stage tonight?
I have a thing I have to do.
I'll do Monday nights.
- Every week for at least
six weeks.
- Yeah.
- You'll get half rate after
each show, including tonight.
You'll get the rest once
you finish the whole lot.
In case you flake again.
- Let's hope,
when you're finished,
Monday nights aren't such
a fucking ghost town.
- Mother.
- Jesus, darling!
You mustn't sidle up like that.
- What are you doing?
- Oh, I'm just contemplating
my navel.
- Where's Russell?
- Oh, he left.
- What?
- To develop some kind
of character, I think.
Back to the city,
- So he just up
and abandoned you?
- Oh no, someone will be
coming in. He arranged it.
He wrote it down
so I'll remember it.
- Everything's gonna be OK,
- I know it, darling.
- Are you OK?
- I'm fine, I'm fine.
- Are you sure?
- You're kind, darling.
I never quite mastered that
the way you have.
- Well, you had a tough go.
With Daddy.
- Maybe that's it.
- I need to find Russell. OK,
I'll, uh... I'll be back soon.
Hopefully tomorrow.
- OK, darling.
- OK.
- Fishy Falters, right?
- A little under the gun, here.
- Oh, don't let me interrupt.
How long have you been at this?
- What?
Fishy Falters.
- Couple of years, casually.
- Hmm.
But not so casually anymore.
I got my start on a Monday,
twenty years ago.
It's just
interesting, you know,
how you strays
swagger in off the street.
Tell me, Fishy,
why do you do drag?
- Keeps me alive.
- Hm. And do you know why?
- Not especially.
- You're a boozer.
Or let me guess.
You're an aging dancer.
Or you wanna be a woman,
but you're not quite ready
for prime time daytime.
- Do you mind?
- Then why?
- It just has me.
- Oh. That's it?
That's good.
I know what
you're going through.
The other girls
were gossiping
about your Houdini act.
But I get it.
If I could go back
and change it all,
I'd ditch the Manolo Blahniks
for a Prada suit,
I'd get my ass in a Herman
Miller chair.
I had great grades.
- You're basically a legend.
- Someone's fantasy
fetish, maybe.
He was a young fashion
photographer, right,
and there was this
impressionable young thing
willing to try out drag,
be his subject...
and then we were in love.
Twenty years later, he tells me
I'm one of three husbands
that he's got in different
corners of the continent
and that he's done flying.
- But you love it.
And you're an artist.
- An artist.
- Didn't you just win
in Philadelphia?
- Oh yes. That was when
he decided to tell me,
so that the high
would blunt the blow.
- Well, I admire you.
- Think about it, Fishy.
And in the meantime,
- And now, performing here every
Monday until further notice,
I give you
Fishy Falters.
Closed Captioning by SETTE inc.