Kids from Shaolin (1984) Movie Script
Congratulations, master! Thank you.
Oh, Pao...
Mum's given birth again!
Mum's given birth again!
- What's she given birth to this time?
- Sister, mum's...
Hey, is it a boy or a girl?
- Let's find out.
- Okay.
Sister, mum's given birth again!
- What did she have?
- What did she have?
- Mum... Mum...
- Stop stammering.
- Tell me, is it a boy or a girl?
- It's another phoenix.
- She can play with us!!
- Mum's had a girl!
Your mum's failed again. My dad...
It has nothing to do with you dad!
San Feng, stop! You've gone too far!
Dad said we should have
nothing to do with Shaolin boys.
If you want to complain, speak to him.
- You act just like a dragon.
- Tom boy!
Shaolin dragons can't lose
to a Wu Tang phoenix!
- Come on, your master isn't afraid.
- You call yourself our master?!
Too bad you don't have our little thing...
- Dad said never to argue with girls.
- We must not lose face to Wu Tang.
- Come on, brothers!
- Beat them, sister!
Look, Brother Sun Lung has arrived.
Let's help Sun Lung!
- What's that fighting style called?
- "Shaolin makes fun of Wu Tang".
Sister... be careful!
- Hey, impressive!
- Don't try to flatter me.
Hurry up and help!
We said it was
"Shaolin makes fun of Wu Tang".
No, it's "Monkey falling out of a tree".
- Are they singing about you?
- Don't listen!
- I'm sure they're singing about you...
- No singing!
Take this ginseng to Mrs Pao tomorrow
to pay our respects.
- She gives birth to a girl and we...
- She still needs her strength.
We need ten cows
for one of Pao Seng Fang's girls.
Ten years and we've only saved
enough for three cows.
It's impossible!
If we work hard,
we'll succeed eventually.
Look, in six months
we've saved enough for a leg.
Even when we have ten cows-
- how long will I wait
before we get another ten?
- Don't worry, you'll marry Yee Feng!
- How... how do I do that?
Stupid! That's not a cow.
- What's this?
- It has four legs.
What do you know?
- Let's see...
- You've got a funny bottom!
- You've got no sympathy for me.
- A cow has four legs!
- There, it's alright.
- And a tail too!
Practise your kung fu!
"Student of the godess of mercy."
"Buddhas on poles."
"Hovering on clouds."
"Flying over heaven."
"Beauty and the mirror."
Stop!
- What's that?
- "Beauty and the mirror."
What kind of mirror is that?
You never learn!
"By the riverside,
a poor little phoenix cries"...
What's wrong with girls?
A phoenix is what our family needs.
I need a dragon to carry on our line,
but mother has failed again.
Always a phoenix... always girls!
- You can't bame mum for that!
- And why not?
Dad, I'm as good as a dragon
in Wu Tang sword style.
Listen, child. Eighteen years ago,
when you were inside your mother...
- I gave you a boy's name, but...
- But what, dad?
You're just another girl.
Very soon you will fly the nest.
No way, I'm a dragon.
I won't fly the nest.
Half dragon and half phoenix...
Who'd want you?
- You...
- You can fly wherever you want.
But never to the Lung family!
They want marriage,
so they can steal my Wu Tang style.
Shaolin kung fu is bullshit!
I say the Wu Tang sword is unique!
Practise your sword skills.
Shaolin kung fu is forbidden!
Carry on!
No food for the lazy!
- I'd rather not have anything to eat!
- Carry on!
- He's a bastard!
- Who are you swearing at?
- I saw you cursing too!
- Don't deny it!
- I don't deny anything.
- That's good!
A real man says what he thinks.
- What, here?
- No...
One, two, three... Dad's a bastard!
One, two, three... Dad's a bastard!
Dad's coming!
You must be very tired... Sleep now.
Dad!
- What's wrong now?
- Dad, we're sorry.
- We were cursing you.
- Cursing me?
What did you say about me?
We'll tell you,
but only if you don't get mad.
Go ahead, nice and loud.
- Count us in.
- One, two, three...
- Dad's a bastard!
- Louder...
Dad's a bastard!
- Dad, you promised not to get mad.
- That's right...
- But... I am not your real father.
- You are our real father!
No. But if your fathers
had known kung fu...
...your families wouldn't have perished.
Ten years ago,
bandits atacked our village.
My brother, Yee Lung,
and I were heading home.
We immediately tried to help.
- Brother, what now?
- It's alright! Get in!
Kill them!
We must save the chldren!
Yee Lung, come on!
- Are you okay?
- Kill them!
I wounded him in the eyes
and got away safely... Those bastards.
I've had to bring you up alone
for ten years. It's not been easy.
- Should we call you master or dad?
- Dad, of course!
Dad, of course!
Father, please sit down.
Our father, please accept
our humble respect.
You brought us up,
you are our real father in our eyes.
You also taught us kung fu.
You are a great... great...
- A great father.
- Please accept our gratitude.
Good boys, my very good sons.
And you are the naughty one!
I'm the naughty one, so punish me!
- Does it hurt?
- No, I'm used to it.
Dad's too clumsy for delicate jobs.
What you really need is a mother.
When can I take revenge
for my ruined eye?
With our strength we can easily
handle the Shaolin brats.
Phoenix village is a tasty piece of meat
waiting to be licked clean.
Boss, Pao Seng Feng's daughters
have slim waists and large buttocks!
I'm not blind! But can we handle
both Shaolin and Wu Tang?
- Boss.
- Speak now.
Yes, tell us your plan, schemer.
They've been rivals for centuries,
so we get them to kill each other.
- That way you get your revenge.
- Right! Go on.
We then overcome Pao
and celebrate with his women!
I, Pao Seng Feng,
have always helped the needy.
I'm not asking a lot,
just a son of my own.
Though I have nine daughters,
I give you this offering.
Please bless the Pao family with a son.
I beseech you
in the name of my ancestors.
Put your faith in Buddha.
Master, do I look like a man
who is unable to have a son?
For you not to have a son, there must
be something wrong with your feng shui.
What must I do?
- Pao claims Wu Tang style is best.
- He's never proved it.
Shaolin teaches everything -
sabre, spear, rod and staff.
- Uncle...
- Chief!
- Why uncle and not father-in-law?
- Which phoenix are you after?
Can he be an uncle,
if he can't have a son?
- We have business to attend to.
- Of course, this way.
A happy land
for happy men... a fertile place.
Masculinity flourishes here.
- You should have had many sons.
- Please, go on.
- What a pity!
- What's wrong?
- Who are those people?
- Brother Sun Lung!
- Turtle!
- Egg!
You're calling Sun Lung a turtle egg?
- No! He can eat this turtle.
- My bird's egg, too!
I don't have much of an appetite,
even for turtle meat.
- What do you want?
- I want a phoenix.
The masculinity of the ten dragons
on the other side of the river-
- is a barrier, blocking the free flow
of Ying and Yang.
That is why you find yourself
unable to have any sons.
Master, I am prepared to do anything
to be blessed with a son.
The problem is the Shaolin.
If you really want a son,
you must get rid of them.
If Tai Feng were our mother-
- dad would be happy
and we'd learn Wu Tang style.
- Right!
- No way!
Dad has three cows.
Pao Seng Feng wants ten!
The tom boy is Pao's favourite.
Maybe she'd put in a good word for us.
But we offended her the other day.
- It's all your fault!
- Me? You were there too!
- I'll go and apologise.
- Just like that?
- You'll cause another fight.
- You must act like a gentleman.
Right... I'll dress up.
Let's get dad's wedding gown.
- Why is it so huge?
- He must have been happy, to be so fat!
Careful! Dad will kill you if you tear it.
There's room for a couple of people!
- This is dad's most beautiful gown.
- It looks awful on you.
Do you really think
you'll impress her looking like that?
Don't worry, I'll look really elegant.
- Miss, how are you?
- I'm fine.
No, that's no good.
She hates being called miss!
- How about Sister Phoenix?
- No!
- Brother Dragon?
- She's not a dragon.
- How about Brother Phoenix?
- That's it! Call her Brother Phoenix!
- Look!
- It's uncle.
- Lf Pao see, this we're finished.
- I thought he scared you?
Always that silly grin...
Can you never find something to say?
For you... for your mother.
- Oh, no. It's the witch!
- You can't say that anymore.
Sister... Have you forgotten
what father said? Go home!
Don't come any closer!
Can't you scum read?!
NO SHAOLIN BEYOND THIS POIN- You... You...
- Can't speak either?
That ugly face of yours
really scares me... Come on!
Uncle, dad wants you!
She's not worth it. Come home.
- Sun Lung, it's your turn.
- Okay.
Brother Phoenix...
- Brother Phoenix, how are you?
- What's the monkey up to now?
My parents died
when I was very young.
I don't even know my father's name.
- All I know is that you're crazy!
- Wait, I just...
- What do you want?
- Well, brother...
We live by the same river,
We should have intermarried long ago.
We've offended you,
so we want to apologise.
Stop! Go home!
My father says that the Shaolin
are nothing but trouble!
Brother Phoenix, don't get me wrong...
What...? Leave now or I'll take action!
Brother Phoenix...
Brother Phoenix...
Please don't get mad. I'll explain...
Stay back or I'll kill you.
Please, let's talk...
Sun Lung, show her
some Shaolin kung fu.
Get her!
Come on!
This is bullshit!
Excellent!
Sister!
Help! My sister can't swim!
She's not breathing...
What shall we do?
- Give her the kiss of life.
- How?
Blow into her mouth.
Sister, you mustn't die.
I'm out of breath. You take over.
- Hurry, blow!
- Give me back my sister!
- Your sword.
- Sister!!
- She's crying.
- Women are made from water!
That Wu Tang sword
is really something!
If she'd cut a little higher...
...you'd have lost your manhood.
So, she has human feelings?
- And a nice mouth...
- And strong legs!
If we learn Wu Tang sword
and combine it with Shaolin kung fu...
- We'd be invincible!
- Uncle's back!
- We have to fix them.
- We haven't time!
You were told not to fight with women!
If you love fighting,
you can fight each other!
But we're brothers.
We respect each other.
Fight!
If you don't hit harder,
I'll tell father what you've done!
Monkey boy, you asked for it!
Whoever loses
will have to go and see dad!
Uncle, tell them to stop.
- Fight!
- Fight who?
- Me!
- You must be kidding.
Come on!
- Now I'm serious.
- Uncle, don't...
- Grab that pole!
- Very Well!
Stop pretending. Get up! Sun Lung...?
- Sun Lung, are you alright?
- Well, he's dead.
Uncle, you're inhuman!
What... what shall we do?
He's not breathing.
Give him some air.
- How?
- Blow into his mouth.
Kid, you're dead!
- We did it to help you and dad!
- We did it for you!
We've got no chance now, have we?
Uncle, you mustn't give up now.
We'll get wives for you two
and the sword style for us all!
The fifth daughter likes kung fu.
We'll give her lessons.
We'll impress Pao
and then suggest father's marriage.
Great!
The martial arts contest between
Shaolin and Wu Tang will begin.
- The loser calls the winner "master".
- Let's see who's the best!
- Who challenges me?
- What stance is that?
- Water-snake. Use the eel.
- No! You need the duck.
Come on!
You've lost. Call me master!
Idiot! It was a poisonous snake,
not a water snake.
They're arguing!!
Don't crow too soon.
You're a snake but I'm a cat!
You're so skinny,
just like a sick cat!
Scared! Then bow and call me master.
Why are you scared?
Squeeze him to death!
Show them your moves.
She's about to wet herself!
- What now?
- My stomach aches...
Useless!
I win!
You play dirty!
I just play to win.
- Bow and call him master!
- I haven't lost yet.
Stop!
- What's going on?
- Mind your own business! Come on.
What's all this? Go and find out.
- What are they doing?
- What a ridiculous way to pee.
- Have you finished yet?
- Soon.
- Have you finished?
- Nearly.
Hey, I'm here
to apologise, not to fight.
The Wu Tang style is unique.
If you hadn't spared me,
I'd be a eunuch now.
Do you want to steal Wu Tang style?
Don't say "steal".
I want to learn it.
You defeated me on the bridge.
- This time I'll win.
- You think so?
Maybe not! Our styles
have their own virtues.
They also have weak points. If we
combine them, we can improve them.
Your mumbling actually makes sense.
- I'll show you my style first.
- Okay, go ahead.
Watch this!
- What do you think?
- It's nothing special. Go home!
- But...
- I could have kicked you into the river.
Now get off our land!
- You...
- lf I see you again, I'll kill you!
Sun Lung, you've been tricked.
I've been tricked, but she's hooked.
I can tell that she's interested in kung fu.
- Maybe she likes you.
- There's still hope for dad's marriage.
- Fantastic!
- Who's there? Come out!
Why aren't you at home?
So we can't learn kung fu,
but you can in secret?
- Come on! Let's go and tell dad.
- Hold it!
Wait... So you like to play
with that monkey boy?
- No, I like Big Head!
- I like Tong.
- I like monkey boy.
- I like learning Shaolin pole.
- Well, you can play with them.
- Sister, you're so kind.
Are you going to tell father?
No! Let's go and have
some fun with the boys!
Don't you understand? I need a son
to inherit my Wu Tang style.
I've done my best! My womb
never has a chance to rest.
Ten cows for a daughter,
you don't even have a cow shed!
- Wife, I know you've tried hard...
- Don't touch me!
You should think of your daughter.
What's wrong with Tin Lung
as a son-in-law?
But he's Shaolin and I'm Wu Tang!
The Pao family needs a successor.
You've tried nine times,
how about a last attempt?
You should be ashamed at you age!
Never mind! I call it a sign
of health and happiness.
If I agree, will you agree
to the marriage of Tai Feng?
Of course... But it's got to be a dragon.
- Pao, feel...
- Is it three months now?
Only three months and so big!
May Buddha bless us...
Buddha, bless the Pao family
with a dragon.
A dragon for them
and a phoenix for us.
- We'll have a mum then!
- Yeah, finally.
Buddha, bless us.
Congratulations,
madam, it's a baby girl!
Mum's given birth again!
Mum's given birth again!
Is it boy or girl?
- I said, is it a boy or a girl?
- It's the same as usual.
No, it's not the same!
This time it's different.
What does she mean?
- Different in what way?
- I'm not sure...
- Does it have a "little bird", like us?
- Yes, that's it!
- At last, a dragon!
- Come on, let's tell dad the good news!
- It's a boy!
- But I saw dad's unhappy face.
No, after you left,
I saw dad's face do this.
Finally, I've got a baby boy!
- Pao, give the baby girl a wash too.
- What? You'd better do it.
I will dress you up beautifully,
so as to give thanks to the gods.
You see, I interrupted the spirt of
the dragons and you have a son.
Sister, look!
Mum, look who's here.
- They're really happy for us.
- So it seems.
Don't trust them.
They're after something.
- Great!
- What's great?
- Are you okay?
- I can't make it!
Hold on! We mustn't lose again!
San Feng!
- Get up!
- I can't!
- Sister, I really can't make it.
- You making me really mad!
Get away!
Behave yourself. Let's team up
and give them a good show.
- He's molesting her.
- Avert your eyes.
Mr Pao, how dare they do this!
We must stop this
immoral display at once!
Don't be afraid.
FENG'S A PIG...
...A PIG-TAILED FATHER
...OF A GLORIOUS BOY
They're such nice boys.
- Congratulations.
- This is for you.
Thank you, auntie.
Dad sends his regards.
Thank you...
Look how considerate they are.
Dizzy?
Sister, I'm okay now.
It's some silk fowl pills!
- It's Yee Lung's own recipe.
- It's so big! How do you swallow it?
Silly girl, a bigger dose
has a bigger effect.
Tin Lung said that after childbirth,
you must build up your strength.
He's really a good and kind man,
unlike that father of yours.
Mum... Yee Lung
said they have four cows now.
- Ask him to speak to father.
- But dad...
- Dad wants ten cows!
- When can they get married?
Your dad will agree now he has a son.
Tell Yee Lung to visit.
Uncle!
- What are you doing here?
- So good to see you.
- We have the cows.
- Skinny ones...
Never mind, come in.
Tai Feng, Yee Feng, serve the tea.
You must talk with
your future father-in-law.
Uncle.
Uncle, it's about the marriage
of your two daughters...
Four skinny cows for my daughters!
The deal is not fair at all.
What? You promised that
if I gave you a dragon...
- I'm not selling them cheap.
- You...
Mr Pao!
- Mr Ma, so good to see you.
- I'm here on business. Ah Au!
- Father-in-law!
- Wait! You're not my son-in-law.
Oh, he soon will be. I have a gift
of ten strong cows waiting outside.
Well... please be seated.
Mr Mau, It's true. Tai Feng
and your son make a good couple.
Tai Feng is my future mother,
how dare you!
I don't dare!
Dad, it's not her I want!
Ah Au will be 20 this August
and Tai Feng...
How about Yee Feng?
Yee Feng is not 20 yet.
- How dare you steal my girl!
- I wouldn't dare!
- Father-in-law, I want to marry her.
- So it's me you want?
First you must ask
my friend's permission.
- Mr Pao, that...
- Surely he would fight for her hand?
- Lf you lose, you marry him.
- I agree.
If I must fight a mere girl,
I can at least allow you to go first.
- A hungry dog eats shit.
- I slipped.
- What should I do?
- He can't even help himself.
Thanks for the tip.
Ah Au!
Again Wu Tang is superior to Shaolin.
Ah Au uses the wrong style.
- I'm just not good enough.
- Then go practise for a decade.
- By then, you'll be too old.
- She's no good as a wife.
- You want a nice, gentle girl. Come!
- Give me the staff.
- What do you want?
- I want her.
- Not you, I want her!
- Yee Lung, don't!
You want her hand? Okay!
But we have rules.
Ten cows for Tai Feng.
Good fighting skills
for San Feng. And Yee Feng...
- Anything!
- Can you sing?
- Sing...?
- She's a song bird.
He husband must sing
better than she can.
- You... You...
- He can't even talk!
- You want to put us off?
- What if I do?
I'll take her hand in marriage!
- Come on!
- Sun Lung, that's enough!
- Let's go!
- Tin Lung, Yee Lung!
- Master?
- Those boys are with your girls.
I'm over here!
"By the riverside there lived a goat,
an elephant and a monkey."
It's a monkey!
Make sure it's tight -
and no peeking!
"A blind man and his wife
fell into the water..."
Fat Feng is right behind you.
You have to guess!
- It's Wu Feng.
- Wrong! I'm here.
Got you! Little bastard...
I'll kill you if you cross the river again.
You have stomach ache
if you have to practise Wu Tang-
- but you let them feel you up!
Bottoms in the air! Quickly now!
In all these years, I've never
had to punish you properly.
It's shameful!
You cheap little punks never learn.
- Does it hurt much?
- No.
Dad hasn't a lot of strength.
- Don't worry, you won't feel a thing.
- Higher!
Tell them, how does it feel?
Sore... burning... painful!
Do you deserve it?
- No!
- So, excuses now!
Dad, they were trying to help!
They want you to marry Tai Feng.
I know, but you can't
force things like that.
Even without a mother, we have
managed well for ten years.
All the Shaolin masters
went without women.
We'll also give them up.
Praise be to Buddha!
No meat or wine for this Buddhist.
A bald head glows in the dark!
No need to wash or comb,
so easy to care for!
Monkey head, monkey brains,
just like a baby's bottom!
He's a bald-headed thief!
"A monk must renounce
the world of desire."
Do you still have desires?
I won't shave my head!
I won't become a monk.
- Yee Lung!
- I will marry Yee Feng!
You're stupid as a pig!
Pao won't allow it, so why get angry?
- Give it up.
- I refuse!
- I won't betray my woman, like you!
- How... how dare you?!
- Don't talk to dad like that.
- We'll beat you!
Don't call me uncle again!
Dad, uncle, he...
He always loses his temper and
runs away, but only as far as the cave.
Uncle!
Monks have no relatives.
So don't call me uncle!
He's so headstrong!
No wonder Yee likes him.
Why be headstrong,
when you don' t know what to do?
- Meaning what?
- Uncle, look!
- What is it?
- You tell me.
It's a circle and a girl.
- What's she doing?
- Dancing.
It's the moon and the fairy.
Don't you get it, stupid?
You really are the dumbest person
I've ever met!
- So I'm stupid.
- Yee loves you being so dumb!
What next?
- Who is it?
- It's me.
- Who are you?
- Your new maid.
When I practise,
no one may enter. Go!
Yes, master.
- Who is it?
- The maid.
You're...
Uncle wants to elope.
Hurry up, before it's too late!
Sister, where are you going so late?
Sister, I beg you, please let me go.
No! You're going to elope. It's forbidden!
Pao has ruined one sister's life.
Will you do the same?
Will you obey him and marry
someone you don't love?!
Get going, both of you!
Thank you, sister.
The sinners are escaping.
Don't let them get away!
Hurry up and go!
You used to have
a mean look about you-
- but tonight you look very lovely.
- Don't flatter me.
- There's two of them!
- Go now!
- We both love our families.
- We'll share the same fate.
- You and me together? No way!
- Go now! You've got me in trouble.
- I'll repay you one day.
- You... Look what you've done!
- We must punish her.
Brother Sun Lung!
- She isn't a woman made of water.
- What is she made of?
- Spirit.
- That's true... The righteous spirit.
On your knees!
You are the village leader and
your daughter has broken village law.
You must punish her
according to custom.
I am a righteous man,
I will submit to the law of the village.
She let the couple escape by water.
The punishment is death by drowning.
San Feng, my daughter!
Give me back my daughter!
Please don't kill my child.
It's the law. If she is alive
after the incense has burned down-
- she will be released. Proceed!
- Begin!
- Sir, it's time!
Pao Sen Feng's not human!
He has no feelings!
San Feng is innocent!
FREE SAN FENG
- Kid, do you really want to die?!
- Let her go! I'm responsible.
Because of you, Yee Feng left
and San Feng is lying here!
- Why did you come?
- I said we'd share the same fate.
Your wish is about to come true.
Master, we're ready.
- I'll see you in the Sea Palace.
- Sun Lung!
Wait!
Come help!
- Pao Seng Feng isn't human.
- San Feng is innocent!
San Feng... Give back my child!
Save my child, do it!
- Dad's here...
- Dad.
Chicken soup with ginseng
is a tonic for women.
You don't mind
that I saved San Feng?
Remember, you must not drink this -
it's too strong for men.
Yes, dad.
Chicken soup with ginseng.
Drink it while it's still hot.
You try some.
Dad says it's good for women,
but too strong for men.
- Thank you for saving my life.
- I said we'd share the same fate.
I believed my father when
he said you were bad people.
- I was prejudiced against you.
- But not now?
In fact, you don't look
like such a bad guy at all.
- Anyway, I cheated over the kung fu.
- I planned to teach you.
But I'd teased you
and I threw you in the river.
I slashed your trousers.
- You want to learn Wu Tang sword?
- Show me now.
So you planned this too...
San Feng is still alive!
Sun Lung has hidden her in a cave.
San Feng... San Feng!
- You've seduced my daughter.
- I just wanted to save her life!
- San Feng, come with me!
- I can't let him harm you.
Nonsense, she's my daughter!
This is none of your business.
- A monster doesn't deserve children.
- Damn you!
- Who taught you that style?
- It was me.
You've given away the family treasure.
You are shameless!
Here I come!
- Don't go, he'll kill you!
- You're first on my list!
Dad, watch out!
Sun Lung, take care!
- I'll teach you...
- Hold it!
Don't move!
- Dad...
- Unhand me!
- Beg forgiveness now!
- I don't think I could give it. Come!
No!
- Sun Lung!
- San Feng will be killed!
Sun Lung, this is between me
and my family. Dad, I'll go with you.
You taught us to be righteous.
San Feng will die and you...
- Have you finished?
- You let Pao walk over you!
Because you're weak. You're pathetic...
Tai Feng has waited ten years because
you have no guts. Now, San Feng...
Come on... Let's go home.
I love Tai Feng, but I love you more.
- Dad can't sleep.
- He has no company at night.
- So sad.
- So sad.
- No one sleeps with me either.
- Don't be an idiot.
Yeah... Idiot.
In two days it's his birthday.
We'll have a surprise party for him!
A man of his age
needs nourishing food.
Already his hair has fallen out.
- It's because of us.
- It's true.
We'll have a real feast, with
snake, wild cat and chicken!
- I'll catch the wild cats.
- We'll get the wild chicken!
- And me?
- Snakes, of course.
I hate them!
I can't wait any longer!
When do we take action?
If I don't have
a woman soon, I'll explode!
- We must be patient.
- We can't stand it!
Boss, I know Pao very well now.
If we abduct Pao's baby...
The kids of Shaolin will all die!
Fish!
Snake!
- It bit me, I'm dying.
- Stop crying.
- Come on.
- I can't.
- Five more steps and I'm dead!
- Come on!
- You've moved ten paces.
- I'm still alive!
It's just a water-snake, silly.
Its fangs carry no poison.
You're so clever!
He looks so strange.
- Who is he?
- He's an Indian snake-charmer.
Why is he going to the cave?
There must be snakes inside!
It's moving...
Pao's kid?
You're dead!
Sun Lung, come on, quickly!
Brother!
Yee Lung, come quickly!
I say look after your brother
and you go to the toilet!
- Do I need a timetable to pee?
- Why you...
- I couldn't wait.
- I should strangle you!
- What have we done to deserve this?
- Leave me be!
No! Rewrite it. Not just ten cows.
Offer my land and daughters
for my son's return.
Master, why does Buddha
punish me like this?
Sir, it is your son's fate
to be menaced by evil people.
- Who would dare such a thing?
- Young master is home!
My baby boy!
Why have you got my son?
- The kidnapper was in the cave.
- We saved him.
How fortunate...
Tell me what you want as a reward!
To help the needy
is the duty of Shaolin monks.
- So, you don't want anything?
- Yes, we do!
- Here's our chance.
- A reward of cows, gold and girls...
- Dad's been so loney.
- And Uncle Yee...
As you insist... Keep the cows and gold,
but we want Tai Feng and Yee Feng.
- And...
- And? Just tell me what you want!
- The Wu Tang sword skills!
- You're deaming!
Just as I suspected...
this is more dirty tricks.
You dare trick me?!
Sir, you let them stay on your land
and they repay you with evil.
So, it's you, is it?
Get back!
If you don't kick them out,
Buddha will be mad.
Tell your father to leave my land.
I never want to see any of you again!
We'll leave and never return.
Happy journey.
Boss-eyes, don't think you're smart.
- Sister, they're leaving.
- And Yee Feng's already gone.
Let's have fun with Pao's daughters!
Then we'll take care of the Shaolin kids!
Back into the house!
Once we've killed the old man,
all this is ours. Kill him!
Pao, help Sai Feng!
Dad!
Pao, be careful!
Get out now!
Pao, take care!
- Chain-mail armour...
- A surprise for you!
- How do you know Wu Tang sword?
- Don't you recognise me?
So it's you!
Wu Tang sword is mighty,
but you're too old.
What are you doing back here?
Shaolin and Wu Tang
work best together against scum!
Pretty! You'll be my concubine.
- You!
- I hoped you'd changed...
But it seems you're still up to evil.
Take care of sister.
This bastard's mine!
- He's got an iron neck!
- Never mind that. Watch this!
We've got him!
"Moon in the sea".
Throw him in! One, two, three...
Sun Lung we... We've won the battle!
Tin Lung, you've saved my family.
How can I ever repay you? I...
- Uncle... Let my dad marry Tai Feng.
- Don't forget uncle!
Oh, well, just give me those four cows...
Hurray! Dad has a wife
and we have a mother!
Your adopted sons will make
wonderful husbands one day!
Auntie, we don't have any more cows...
- How about an egg for each girl?
- It's a deal!
Husband and wife, bow to each other.
Bow to mother and father.
Father, mother,
accept your sons' respect.
First bow.
Second bow.
- Third bow.
- Good, good...
- Today is a happy day, let them laugh.
- Go ahead.
Oh, Pao...
Mum's given birth again!
Mum's given birth again!
- What's she given birth to this time?
- Sister, mum's...
Hey, is it a boy or a girl?
- Let's find out.
- Okay.
Sister, mum's given birth again!
- What did she have?
- What did she have?
- Mum... Mum...
- Stop stammering.
- Tell me, is it a boy or a girl?
- It's another phoenix.
- She can play with us!!
- Mum's had a girl!
Your mum's failed again. My dad...
It has nothing to do with you dad!
San Feng, stop! You've gone too far!
Dad said we should have
nothing to do with Shaolin boys.
If you want to complain, speak to him.
- You act just like a dragon.
- Tom boy!
Shaolin dragons can't lose
to a Wu Tang phoenix!
- Come on, your master isn't afraid.
- You call yourself our master?!
Too bad you don't have our little thing...
- Dad said never to argue with girls.
- We must not lose face to Wu Tang.
- Come on, brothers!
- Beat them, sister!
Look, Brother Sun Lung has arrived.
Let's help Sun Lung!
- What's that fighting style called?
- "Shaolin makes fun of Wu Tang".
Sister... be careful!
- Hey, impressive!
- Don't try to flatter me.
Hurry up and help!
We said it was
"Shaolin makes fun of Wu Tang".
No, it's "Monkey falling out of a tree".
- Are they singing about you?
- Don't listen!
- I'm sure they're singing about you...
- No singing!
Take this ginseng to Mrs Pao tomorrow
to pay our respects.
- She gives birth to a girl and we...
- She still needs her strength.
We need ten cows
for one of Pao Seng Fang's girls.
Ten years and we've only saved
enough for three cows.
It's impossible!
If we work hard,
we'll succeed eventually.
Look, in six months
we've saved enough for a leg.
Even when we have ten cows-
- how long will I wait
before we get another ten?
- Don't worry, you'll marry Yee Feng!
- How... how do I do that?
Stupid! That's not a cow.
- What's this?
- It has four legs.
What do you know?
- Let's see...
- You've got a funny bottom!
- You've got no sympathy for me.
- A cow has four legs!
- There, it's alright.
- And a tail too!
Practise your kung fu!
"Student of the godess of mercy."
"Buddhas on poles."
"Hovering on clouds."
"Flying over heaven."
"Beauty and the mirror."
Stop!
- What's that?
- "Beauty and the mirror."
What kind of mirror is that?
You never learn!
"By the riverside,
a poor little phoenix cries"...
What's wrong with girls?
A phoenix is what our family needs.
I need a dragon to carry on our line,
but mother has failed again.
Always a phoenix... always girls!
- You can't bame mum for that!
- And why not?
Dad, I'm as good as a dragon
in Wu Tang sword style.
Listen, child. Eighteen years ago,
when you were inside your mother...
- I gave you a boy's name, but...
- But what, dad?
You're just another girl.
Very soon you will fly the nest.
No way, I'm a dragon.
I won't fly the nest.
Half dragon and half phoenix...
Who'd want you?
- You...
- You can fly wherever you want.
But never to the Lung family!
They want marriage,
so they can steal my Wu Tang style.
Shaolin kung fu is bullshit!
I say the Wu Tang sword is unique!
Practise your sword skills.
Shaolin kung fu is forbidden!
Carry on!
No food for the lazy!
- I'd rather not have anything to eat!
- Carry on!
- He's a bastard!
- Who are you swearing at?
- I saw you cursing too!
- Don't deny it!
- I don't deny anything.
- That's good!
A real man says what he thinks.
- What, here?
- No...
One, two, three... Dad's a bastard!
One, two, three... Dad's a bastard!
Dad's coming!
You must be very tired... Sleep now.
Dad!
- What's wrong now?
- Dad, we're sorry.
- We were cursing you.
- Cursing me?
What did you say about me?
We'll tell you,
but only if you don't get mad.
Go ahead, nice and loud.
- Count us in.
- One, two, three...
- Dad's a bastard!
- Louder...
Dad's a bastard!
- Dad, you promised not to get mad.
- That's right...
- But... I am not your real father.
- You are our real father!
No. But if your fathers
had known kung fu...
...your families wouldn't have perished.
Ten years ago,
bandits atacked our village.
My brother, Yee Lung,
and I were heading home.
We immediately tried to help.
- Brother, what now?
- It's alright! Get in!
Kill them!
We must save the chldren!
Yee Lung, come on!
- Are you okay?
- Kill them!
I wounded him in the eyes
and got away safely... Those bastards.
I've had to bring you up alone
for ten years. It's not been easy.
- Should we call you master or dad?
- Dad, of course!
Dad, of course!
Father, please sit down.
Our father, please accept
our humble respect.
You brought us up,
you are our real father in our eyes.
You also taught us kung fu.
You are a great... great...
- A great father.
- Please accept our gratitude.
Good boys, my very good sons.
And you are the naughty one!
I'm the naughty one, so punish me!
- Does it hurt?
- No, I'm used to it.
Dad's too clumsy for delicate jobs.
What you really need is a mother.
When can I take revenge
for my ruined eye?
With our strength we can easily
handle the Shaolin brats.
Phoenix village is a tasty piece of meat
waiting to be licked clean.
Boss, Pao Seng Feng's daughters
have slim waists and large buttocks!
I'm not blind! But can we handle
both Shaolin and Wu Tang?
- Boss.
- Speak now.
Yes, tell us your plan, schemer.
They've been rivals for centuries,
so we get them to kill each other.
- That way you get your revenge.
- Right! Go on.
We then overcome Pao
and celebrate with his women!
I, Pao Seng Feng,
have always helped the needy.
I'm not asking a lot,
just a son of my own.
Though I have nine daughters,
I give you this offering.
Please bless the Pao family with a son.
I beseech you
in the name of my ancestors.
Put your faith in Buddha.
Master, do I look like a man
who is unable to have a son?
For you not to have a son, there must
be something wrong with your feng shui.
What must I do?
- Pao claims Wu Tang style is best.
- He's never proved it.
Shaolin teaches everything -
sabre, spear, rod and staff.
- Uncle...
- Chief!
- Why uncle and not father-in-law?
- Which phoenix are you after?
Can he be an uncle,
if he can't have a son?
- We have business to attend to.
- Of course, this way.
A happy land
for happy men... a fertile place.
Masculinity flourishes here.
- You should have had many sons.
- Please, go on.
- What a pity!
- What's wrong?
- Who are those people?
- Brother Sun Lung!
- Turtle!
- Egg!
You're calling Sun Lung a turtle egg?
- No! He can eat this turtle.
- My bird's egg, too!
I don't have much of an appetite,
even for turtle meat.
- What do you want?
- I want a phoenix.
The masculinity of the ten dragons
on the other side of the river-
- is a barrier, blocking the free flow
of Ying and Yang.
That is why you find yourself
unable to have any sons.
Master, I am prepared to do anything
to be blessed with a son.
The problem is the Shaolin.
If you really want a son,
you must get rid of them.
If Tai Feng were our mother-
- dad would be happy
and we'd learn Wu Tang style.
- Right!
- No way!
Dad has three cows.
Pao Seng Feng wants ten!
The tom boy is Pao's favourite.
Maybe she'd put in a good word for us.
But we offended her the other day.
- It's all your fault!
- Me? You were there too!
- I'll go and apologise.
- Just like that?
- You'll cause another fight.
- You must act like a gentleman.
Right... I'll dress up.
Let's get dad's wedding gown.
- Why is it so huge?
- He must have been happy, to be so fat!
Careful! Dad will kill you if you tear it.
There's room for a couple of people!
- This is dad's most beautiful gown.
- It looks awful on you.
Do you really think
you'll impress her looking like that?
Don't worry, I'll look really elegant.
- Miss, how are you?
- I'm fine.
No, that's no good.
She hates being called miss!
- How about Sister Phoenix?
- No!
- Brother Dragon?
- She's not a dragon.
- How about Brother Phoenix?
- That's it! Call her Brother Phoenix!
- Look!
- It's uncle.
- Lf Pao see, this we're finished.
- I thought he scared you?
Always that silly grin...
Can you never find something to say?
For you... for your mother.
- Oh, no. It's the witch!
- You can't say that anymore.
Sister... Have you forgotten
what father said? Go home!
Don't come any closer!
Can't you scum read?!
NO SHAOLIN BEYOND THIS POIN- You... You...
- Can't speak either?
That ugly face of yours
really scares me... Come on!
Uncle, dad wants you!
She's not worth it. Come home.
- Sun Lung, it's your turn.
- Okay.
Brother Phoenix...
- Brother Phoenix, how are you?
- What's the monkey up to now?
My parents died
when I was very young.
I don't even know my father's name.
- All I know is that you're crazy!
- Wait, I just...
- What do you want?
- Well, brother...
We live by the same river,
We should have intermarried long ago.
We've offended you,
so we want to apologise.
Stop! Go home!
My father says that the Shaolin
are nothing but trouble!
Brother Phoenix, don't get me wrong...
What...? Leave now or I'll take action!
Brother Phoenix...
Brother Phoenix...
Please don't get mad. I'll explain...
Stay back or I'll kill you.
Please, let's talk...
Sun Lung, show her
some Shaolin kung fu.
Get her!
Come on!
This is bullshit!
Excellent!
Sister!
Help! My sister can't swim!
She's not breathing...
What shall we do?
- Give her the kiss of life.
- How?
Blow into her mouth.
Sister, you mustn't die.
I'm out of breath. You take over.
- Hurry, blow!
- Give me back my sister!
- Your sword.
- Sister!!
- She's crying.
- Women are made from water!
That Wu Tang sword
is really something!
If she'd cut a little higher...
...you'd have lost your manhood.
So, she has human feelings?
- And a nice mouth...
- And strong legs!
If we learn Wu Tang sword
and combine it with Shaolin kung fu...
- We'd be invincible!
- Uncle's back!
- We have to fix them.
- We haven't time!
You were told not to fight with women!
If you love fighting,
you can fight each other!
But we're brothers.
We respect each other.
Fight!
If you don't hit harder,
I'll tell father what you've done!
Monkey boy, you asked for it!
Whoever loses
will have to go and see dad!
Uncle, tell them to stop.
- Fight!
- Fight who?
- Me!
- You must be kidding.
Come on!
- Now I'm serious.
- Uncle, don't...
- Grab that pole!
- Very Well!
Stop pretending. Get up! Sun Lung...?
- Sun Lung, are you alright?
- Well, he's dead.
Uncle, you're inhuman!
What... what shall we do?
He's not breathing.
Give him some air.
- How?
- Blow into his mouth.
Kid, you're dead!
- We did it to help you and dad!
- We did it for you!
We've got no chance now, have we?
Uncle, you mustn't give up now.
We'll get wives for you two
and the sword style for us all!
The fifth daughter likes kung fu.
We'll give her lessons.
We'll impress Pao
and then suggest father's marriage.
Great!
The martial arts contest between
Shaolin and Wu Tang will begin.
- The loser calls the winner "master".
- Let's see who's the best!
- Who challenges me?
- What stance is that?
- Water-snake. Use the eel.
- No! You need the duck.
Come on!
You've lost. Call me master!
Idiot! It was a poisonous snake,
not a water snake.
They're arguing!!
Don't crow too soon.
You're a snake but I'm a cat!
You're so skinny,
just like a sick cat!
Scared! Then bow and call me master.
Why are you scared?
Squeeze him to death!
Show them your moves.
She's about to wet herself!
- What now?
- My stomach aches...
Useless!
I win!
You play dirty!
I just play to win.
- Bow and call him master!
- I haven't lost yet.
Stop!
- What's going on?
- Mind your own business! Come on.
What's all this? Go and find out.
- What are they doing?
- What a ridiculous way to pee.
- Have you finished yet?
- Soon.
- Have you finished?
- Nearly.
Hey, I'm here
to apologise, not to fight.
The Wu Tang style is unique.
If you hadn't spared me,
I'd be a eunuch now.
Do you want to steal Wu Tang style?
Don't say "steal".
I want to learn it.
You defeated me on the bridge.
- This time I'll win.
- You think so?
Maybe not! Our styles
have their own virtues.
They also have weak points. If we
combine them, we can improve them.
Your mumbling actually makes sense.
- I'll show you my style first.
- Okay, go ahead.
Watch this!
- What do you think?
- It's nothing special. Go home!
- But...
- I could have kicked you into the river.
Now get off our land!
- You...
- lf I see you again, I'll kill you!
Sun Lung, you've been tricked.
I've been tricked, but she's hooked.
I can tell that she's interested in kung fu.
- Maybe she likes you.
- There's still hope for dad's marriage.
- Fantastic!
- Who's there? Come out!
Why aren't you at home?
So we can't learn kung fu,
but you can in secret?
- Come on! Let's go and tell dad.
- Hold it!
Wait... So you like to play
with that monkey boy?
- No, I like Big Head!
- I like Tong.
- I like monkey boy.
- I like learning Shaolin pole.
- Well, you can play with them.
- Sister, you're so kind.
Are you going to tell father?
No! Let's go and have
some fun with the boys!
Don't you understand? I need a son
to inherit my Wu Tang style.
I've done my best! My womb
never has a chance to rest.
Ten cows for a daughter,
you don't even have a cow shed!
- Wife, I know you've tried hard...
- Don't touch me!
You should think of your daughter.
What's wrong with Tin Lung
as a son-in-law?
But he's Shaolin and I'm Wu Tang!
The Pao family needs a successor.
You've tried nine times,
how about a last attempt?
You should be ashamed at you age!
Never mind! I call it a sign
of health and happiness.
If I agree, will you agree
to the marriage of Tai Feng?
Of course... But it's got to be a dragon.
- Pao, feel...
- Is it three months now?
Only three months and so big!
May Buddha bless us...
Buddha, bless the Pao family
with a dragon.
A dragon for them
and a phoenix for us.
- We'll have a mum then!
- Yeah, finally.
Buddha, bless us.
Congratulations,
madam, it's a baby girl!
Mum's given birth again!
Mum's given birth again!
Is it boy or girl?
- I said, is it a boy or a girl?
- It's the same as usual.
No, it's not the same!
This time it's different.
What does she mean?
- Different in what way?
- I'm not sure...
- Does it have a "little bird", like us?
- Yes, that's it!
- At last, a dragon!
- Come on, let's tell dad the good news!
- It's a boy!
- But I saw dad's unhappy face.
No, after you left,
I saw dad's face do this.
Finally, I've got a baby boy!
- Pao, give the baby girl a wash too.
- What? You'd better do it.
I will dress you up beautifully,
so as to give thanks to the gods.
You see, I interrupted the spirt of
the dragons and you have a son.
Sister, look!
Mum, look who's here.
- They're really happy for us.
- So it seems.
Don't trust them.
They're after something.
- Great!
- What's great?
- Are you okay?
- I can't make it!
Hold on! We mustn't lose again!
San Feng!
- Get up!
- I can't!
- Sister, I really can't make it.
- You making me really mad!
Get away!
Behave yourself. Let's team up
and give them a good show.
- He's molesting her.
- Avert your eyes.
Mr Pao, how dare they do this!
We must stop this
immoral display at once!
Don't be afraid.
FENG'S A PIG...
...A PIG-TAILED FATHER
...OF A GLORIOUS BOY
They're such nice boys.
- Congratulations.
- This is for you.
Thank you, auntie.
Dad sends his regards.
Thank you...
Look how considerate they are.
Dizzy?
Sister, I'm okay now.
It's some silk fowl pills!
- It's Yee Lung's own recipe.
- It's so big! How do you swallow it?
Silly girl, a bigger dose
has a bigger effect.
Tin Lung said that after childbirth,
you must build up your strength.
He's really a good and kind man,
unlike that father of yours.
Mum... Yee Lung
said they have four cows now.
- Ask him to speak to father.
- But dad...
- Dad wants ten cows!
- When can they get married?
Your dad will agree now he has a son.
Tell Yee Lung to visit.
Uncle!
- What are you doing here?
- So good to see you.
- We have the cows.
- Skinny ones...
Never mind, come in.
Tai Feng, Yee Feng, serve the tea.
You must talk with
your future father-in-law.
Uncle.
Uncle, it's about the marriage
of your two daughters...
Four skinny cows for my daughters!
The deal is not fair at all.
What? You promised that
if I gave you a dragon...
- I'm not selling them cheap.
- You...
Mr Pao!
- Mr Ma, so good to see you.
- I'm here on business. Ah Au!
- Father-in-law!
- Wait! You're not my son-in-law.
Oh, he soon will be. I have a gift
of ten strong cows waiting outside.
Well... please be seated.
Mr Mau, It's true. Tai Feng
and your son make a good couple.
Tai Feng is my future mother,
how dare you!
I don't dare!
Dad, it's not her I want!
Ah Au will be 20 this August
and Tai Feng...
How about Yee Feng?
Yee Feng is not 20 yet.
- How dare you steal my girl!
- I wouldn't dare!
- Father-in-law, I want to marry her.
- So it's me you want?
First you must ask
my friend's permission.
- Mr Pao, that...
- Surely he would fight for her hand?
- Lf you lose, you marry him.
- I agree.
If I must fight a mere girl,
I can at least allow you to go first.
- A hungry dog eats shit.
- I slipped.
- What should I do?
- He can't even help himself.
Thanks for the tip.
Ah Au!
Again Wu Tang is superior to Shaolin.
Ah Au uses the wrong style.
- I'm just not good enough.
- Then go practise for a decade.
- By then, you'll be too old.
- She's no good as a wife.
- You want a nice, gentle girl. Come!
- Give me the staff.
- What do you want?
- I want her.
- Not you, I want her!
- Yee Lung, don't!
You want her hand? Okay!
But we have rules.
Ten cows for Tai Feng.
Good fighting skills
for San Feng. And Yee Feng...
- Anything!
- Can you sing?
- Sing...?
- She's a song bird.
He husband must sing
better than she can.
- You... You...
- He can't even talk!
- You want to put us off?
- What if I do?
I'll take her hand in marriage!
- Come on!
- Sun Lung, that's enough!
- Let's go!
- Tin Lung, Yee Lung!
- Master?
- Those boys are with your girls.
I'm over here!
"By the riverside there lived a goat,
an elephant and a monkey."
It's a monkey!
Make sure it's tight -
and no peeking!
"A blind man and his wife
fell into the water..."
Fat Feng is right behind you.
You have to guess!
- It's Wu Feng.
- Wrong! I'm here.
Got you! Little bastard...
I'll kill you if you cross the river again.
You have stomach ache
if you have to practise Wu Tang-
- but you let them feel you up!
Bottoms in the air! Quickly now!
In all these years, I've never
had to punish you properly.
It's shameful!
You cheap little punks never learn.
- Does it hurt much?
- No.
Dad hasn't a lot of strength.
- Don't worry, you won't feel a thing.
- Higher!
Tell them, how does it feel?
Sore... burning... painful!
Do you deserve it?
- No!
- So, excuses now!
Dad, they were trying to help!
They want you to marry Tai Feng.
I know, but you can't
force things like that.
Even without a mother, we have
managed well for ten years.
All the Shaolin masters
went without women.
We'll also give them up.
Praise be to Buddha!
No meat or wine for this Buddhist.
A bald head glows in the dark!
No need to wash or comb,
so easy to care for!
Monkey head, monkey brains,
just like a baby's bottom!
He's a bald-headed thief!
"A monk must renounce
the world of desire."
Do you still have desires?
I won't shave my head!
I won't become a monk.
- Yee Lung!
- I will marry Yee Feng!
You're stupid as a pig!
Pao won't allow it, so why get angry?
- Give it up.
- I refuse!
- I won't betray my woman, like you!
- How... how dare you?!
- Don't talk to dad like that.
- We'll beat you!
Don't call me uncle again!
Dad, uncle, he...
He always loses his temper and
runs away, but only as far as the cave.
Uncle!
Monks have no relatives.
So don't call me uncle!
He's so headstrong!
No wonder Yee likes him.
Why be headstrong,
when you don' t know what to do?
- Meaning what?
- Uncle, look!
- What is it?
- You tell me.
It's a circle and a girl.
- What's she doing?
- Dancing.
It's the moon and the fairy.
Don't you get it, stupid?
You really are the dumbest person
I've ever met!
- So I'm stupid.
- Yee loves you being so dumb!
What next?
- Who is it?
- It's me.
- Who are you?
- Your new maid.
When I practise,
no one may enter. Go!
Yes, master.
- Who is it?
- The maid.
You're...
Uncle wants to elope.
Hurry up, before it's too late!
Sister, where are you going so late?
Sister, I beg you, please let me go.
No! You're going to elope. It's forbidden!
Pao has ruined one sister's life.
Will you do the same?
Will you obey him and marry
someone you don't love?!
Get going, both of you!
Thank you, sister.
The sinners are escaping.
Don't let them get away!
Hurry up and go!
You used to have
a mean look about you-
- but tonight you look very lovely.
- Don't flatter me.
- There's two of them!
- Go now!
- We both love our families.
- We'll share the same fate.
- You and me together? No way!
- Go now! You've got me in trouble.
- I'll repay you one day.
- You... Look what you've done!
- We must punish her.
Brother Sun Lung!
- She isn't a woman made of water.
- What is she made of?
- Spirit.
- That's true... The righteous spirit.
On your knees!
You are the village leader and
your daughter has broken village law.
You must punish her
according to custom.
I am a righteous man,
I will submit to the law of the village.
She let the couple escape by water.
The punishment is death by drowning.
San Feng, my daughter!
Give me back my daughter!
Please don't kill my child.
It's the law. If she is alive
after the incense has burned down-
- she will be released. Proceed!
- Begin!
- Sir, it's time!
Pao Sen Feng's not human!
He has no feelings!
San Feng is innocent!
FREE SAN FENG
- Kid, do you really want to die?!
- Let her go! I'm responsible.
Because of you, Yee Feng left
and San Feng is lying here!
- Why did you come?
- I said we'd share the same fate.
Your wish is about to come true.
Master, we're ready.
- I'll see you in the Sea Palace.
- Sun Lung!
Wait!
Come help!
- Pao Seng Feng isn't human.
- San Feng is innocent!
San Feng... Give back my child!
Save my child, do it!
- Dad's here...
- Dad.
Chicken soup with ginseng
is a tonic for women.
You don't mind
that I saved San Feng?
Remember, you must not drink this -
it's too strong for men.
Yes, dad.
Chicken soup with ginseng.
Drink it while it's still hot.
You try some.
Dad says it's good for women,
but too strong for men.
- Thank you for saving my life.
- I said we'd share the same fate.
I believed my father when
he said you were bad people.
- I was prejudiced against you.
- But not now?
In fact, you don't look
like such a bad guy at all.
- Anyway, I cheated over the kung fu.
- I planned to teach you.
But I'd teased you
and I threw you in the river.
I slashed your trousers.
- You want to learn Wu Tang sword?
- Show me now.
So you planned this too...
San Feng is still alive!
Sun Lung has hidden her in a cave.
San Feng... San Feng!
- You've seduced my daughter.
- I just wanted to save her life!
- San Feng, come with me!
- I can't let him harm you.
Nonsense, she's my daughter!
This is none of your business.
- A monster doesn't deserve children.
- Damn you!
- Who taught you that style?
- It was me.
You've given away the family treasure.
You are shameless!
Here I come!
- Don't go, he'll kill you!
- You're first on my list!
Dad, watch out!
Sun Lung, take care!
- I'll teach you...
- Hold it!
Don't move!
- Dad...
- Unhand me!
- Beg forgiveness now!
- I don't think I could give it. Come!
No!
- Sun Lung!
- San Feng will be killed!
Sun Lung, this is between me
and my family. Dad, I'll go with you.
You taught us to be righteous.
San Feng will die and you...
- Have you finished?
- You let Pao walk over you!
Because you're weak. You're pathetic...
Tai Feng has waited ten years because
you have no guts. Now, San Feng...
Come on... Let's go home.
I love Tai Feng, but I love you more.
- Dad can't sleep.
- He has no company at night.
- So sad.
- So sad.
- No one sleeps with me either.
- Don't be an idiot.
Yeah... Idiot.
In two days it's his birthday.
We'll have a surprise party for him!
A man of his age
needs nourishing food.
Already his hair has fallen out.
- It's because of us.
- It's true.
We'll have a real feast, with
snake, wild cat and chicken!
- I'll catch the wild cats.
- We'll get the wild chicken!
- And me?
- Snakes, of course.
I hate them!
I can't wait any longer!
When do we take action?
If I don't have
a woman soon, I'll explode!
- We must be patient.
- We can't stand it!
Boss, I know Pao very well now.
If we abduct Pao's baby...
The kids of Shaolin will all die!
Fish!
Snake!
- It bit me, I'm dying.
- Stop crying.
- Come on.
- I can't.
- Five more steps and I'm dead!
- Come on!
- You've moved ten paces.
- I'm still alive!
It's just a water-snake, silly.
Its fangs carry no poison.
You're so clever!
He looks so strange.
- Who is he?
- He's an Indian snake-charmer.
Why is he going to the cave?
There must be snakes inside!
It's moving...
Pao's kid?
You're dead!
Sun Lung, come on, quickly!
Brother!
Yee Lung, come quickly!
I say look after your brother
and you go to the toilet!
- Do I need a timetable to pee?
- Why you...
- I couldn't wait.
- I should strangle you!
- What have we done to deserve this?
- Leave me be!
No! Rewrite it. Not just ten cows.
Offer my land and daughters
for my son's return.
Master, why does Buddha
punish me like this?
Sir, it is your son's fate
to be menaced by evil people.
- Who would dare such a thing?
- Young master is home!
My baby boy!
Why have you got my son?
- The kidnapper was in the cave.
- We saved him.
How fortunate...
Tell me what you want as a reward!
To help the needy
is the duty of Shaolin monks.
- So, you don't want anything?
- Yes, we do!
- Here's our chance.
- A reward of cows, gold and girls...
- Dad's been so loney.
- And Uncle Yee...
As you insist... Keep the cows and gold,
but we want Tai Feng and Yee Feng.
- And...
- And? Just tell me what you want!
- The Wu Tang sword skills!
- You're deaming!
Just as I suspected...
this is more dirty tricks.
You dare trick me?!
Sir, you let them stay on your land
and they repay you with evil.
So, it's you, is it?
Get back!
If you don't kick them out,
Buddha will be mad.
Tell your father to leave my land.
I never want to see any of you again!
We'll leave and never return.
Happy journey.
Boss-eyes, don't think you're smart.
- Sister, they're leaving.
- And Yee Feng's already gone.
Let's have fun with Pao's daughters!
Then we'll take care of the Shaolin kids!
Back into the house!
Once we've killed the old man,
all this is ours. Kill him!
Pao, help Sai Feng!
Dad!
Pao, be careful!
Get out now!
Pao, take care!
- Chain-mail armour...
- A surprise for you!
- How do you know Wu Tang sword?
- Don't you recognise me?
So it's you!
Wu Tang sword is mighty,
but you're too old.
What are you doing back here?
Shaolin and Wu Tang
work best together against scum!
Pretty! You'll be my concubine.
- You!
- I hoped you'd changed...
But it seems you're still up to evil.
Take care of sister.
This bastard's mine!
- He's got an iron neck!
- Never mind that. Watch this!
We've got him!
"Moon in the sea".
Throw him in! One, two, three...
Sun Lung we... We've won the battle!
Tin Lung, you've saved my family.
How can I ever repay you? I...
- Uncle... Let my dad marry Tai Feng.
- Don't forget uncle!
Oh, well, just give me those four cows...
Hurray! Dad has a wife
and we have a mother!
Your adopted sons will make
wonderful husbands one day!
Auntie, we don't have any more cows...
- How about an egg for each girl?
- It's a deal!
Husband and wife, bow to each other.
Bow to mother and father.
Father, mother,
accept your sons' respect.
First bow.
Second bow.
- Third bow.
- Good, good...
- Today is a happy day, let them laugh.
- Go ahead.