Killing Mary Sue (2025) Movie Script
1
-Dad, look! I drew us.
-What?
- Other side.
- Oh.
- So beautiful! Look, that's me
and that's you, and...
...and the other-- Yes!
Oh, my God!
I'm gonna hold on to this
forever and ever.
You know, you deserve the world,
sugar plum.
And I'm gonna give it to you.
I mean, big-ass house,
toys, parties, friends!
You ready to go get it?
We're gonna go in there
and scrounge up
our investment capital
right now.
Let's go get it.
What do you want?
-Anything at all.
-Ice cream!
Yes! Good choice!
All right, now listen,
go grab a bunch,
but remember,
do not turn around.
Got it?
Okay, baby. Use your hands.
- Yo,
open the register!
Give me the fucking money!
Everybody,
get a load of this one,
you're not gonna believe it.
From trailer park trash
to Washington political trash.
No, no, no!
Let's, let's hear it.
We can confirm Senator
Bradley Weiner's stepdaughter,
Mary Sue Harper,
has returned today home
following her massive scandal
this week in Moscow.
The allegations? Sex,
violent confrontations
with authorities,
enough drugs
to kill an elephant,
and guess
who bailed her out again?
I mean, what business
does she even have over there?
She's a spoiled brat,
plain and simple.
Never thought of anything
other than her own
selfish desires
-and her own--
-Okay, that, that's enough.
This story has--
Are you serious?
Just, uh, don't tell
the big guy, huh?
Carrie?
Yeesh!
Carrie! You home?
Got my stuff?
And the housekeeper
pulls through again.
- She's in her room, I think.
-Nice.
Hey, you think I can hit it?
I bet she puts out super easy.
Careful.
She's a druggie piece of shit, just like her real dad.
He was stabbed or shot,
or what was it?
Stabbed 12 times
in the face and neck.
-Pretty fucking sick,
if you ask me.
-How the fuck
- did you get down here?
- And I only put out
if you can punch me
in the face. Hard.
All right? No pussy shit.
I'm talking broken orbitals.
Okay? Send me to the next week.
S-- scratch that,
next fucking month.
Okay? You can rock me like that,
I'll let you photograph me
however the hell you want.
How's that for a deal?
Gandhi once said,
"Do what you love and you'll
never work a day in your life."
- And, well, it,
it's a long story.
- People call me spoiled,
people call me entitled,
but I know where
the anger comes from.
They're jealous.
They're lucky if they can
just barely scrape by
and pay their bills
working some shit job.
Well, I'm lucky because my dad
robbed a convenience store
when I was seven.
- Give me
the fucking money!
- Fuck, man,
I was just--
Cue my mom's slut face...
...her meeting
Mayor Bradley Weiner
at a fundraiser...
...Mayor Bradley Weiner becoming
Senator Bradley Weiner...
...and Senator Bradley Weiner
freeing us from the tyranny
of having to live real lives.
Look at me now, Dad! I get
to have all your fun with none
of the consequences, don't I?
- People say that Bradley
only got married to further
his political goals
or something.
And also that he's trying
to get rid of me.
Like the time he sent me away
to another country?
- Or that I'm an abuse victim...
- whatever that means.
But again, that's just
stupid people being
stupid jealous.
- ...great to see you--
- If I could use
one word to describe
my stepdad...
...it would be honest,
loyal, hard-working, and pure.
- He's not the guy who says
one thing and does another
behind closed doors.
He lives his values.
I hope you vote for me
in 20 years. Thank you, Mommy!
Being a senator's kid truly
allows you to live your life
the way Gandhi would've wanted.
Rules? Not my problem.
Money? Not my problem.
Problems?
Not my fucking problem.
And he'll never say it...
...but I know why he does it.
It's because he loves me.
I mean,
I'm pretty sure he loves me.
The senator's stepdaughter
attacked two photographers
outside her home.
Inserting their own cameras
up their anal cavities.
After she claimed that they,
and I'd like to quote her
on this...
..."Couldn't hit her
in the damn face hard enough."
Get down there!
I mean, like,
why wouldn't he love me?
Mary Sue Harper got kidnaped
for a third time!
Another high profile scandal
for Senator Weiner,
as the Navy SEALs are
once again called in
- to rescue her
on the taxpayer's dime.
He definitely loves me.
- Mary Sue Harper...
- Mary Sue Harper was detained this afternoon.
- -Mary Sue Harper...
- Mary Sue Harper...
- ...has seduced
the Prime Minister of Malaysia
and stolen his kidneys.
She is a national...
...security risk.
Because, truth be told,
I would literally take
a bullet for that man.
I need you
to put a bullet in her.
- The waters
are very choppy
as Senator Weiner looks to be
reelected for his fourth term.
His opponent,
activist Anita Koch,
surges even further
in the polls.
Many are claiming this to be
the beginning of the end
of a long, hard road for Weiner.
Various analysts are looking
at the data and making
-grim predictions for Weiner
as his path to victory narrows.
-Here you go, sir.
-Only two months ago, he was
leading by double digits...
-But--
-...and now that's...
-Cut that into triangles.
It's more sandwich that way.
Oh, of, of course, sir.
There's a lot of housekeepers
I could go with, so don't
make me regret buying American.
-I understand.
Won't happen again.
-...push in the coming week...
Carrie.
-...he will secure...
-Triangles.
More sandwich.
Yes, sir. I understand.
Lucky I'm
in a good mood tonight.
The thing is, you need to take
control of your life, girl.
And he is never
gonna let you do that.
You know, Paige,
you're so fucking right.
God, I'm so happy
to hear you finally say that.
Right? Like, he's weak!
-He is. And holding you back!
-100%.
Like, sending you
around the world
to pick up bags of cash.
It's a power play,
with all his foreign bribes.
What better way to make sure
they know they're below him
than to make them hand
the money over to someone
he thinks is such a fuck up?
W-- wait, uh,
who are you talking about?
Your stepdad?
What? No! Bradley's awesome!
Who did you think
we were talking about?
Those fucking losers
who couldn't punch me
-in the face hard enough.
-What?
It's like,
just go for it, you know?
Like, if I give you
full permission,
why you gotta hold back?
-What?
-You know, Paige,
thanks for talking this through.
Really needed your support.
Your stepfather's coming.
It's time to check in on her.
-What's the price today?
-U-- um, skim, whole,
2%, or organic?
Whole.
It's, uh, it's, uh,
it's, uh, $4.38 a gallon.
Uh, com-- co-- come in!
Shit!
Mary Sue, on the bed.
Janine, let's have a word.
This doesn't go there.
Uh, my adorable little girl.
You've always been
so faithful and supportive.
You've been
my greatest champion,
and I'll never forget it.
Thanks, Bradley. You know
how much I love you.
And I... love
u--nique gifts.
Which is why we got you
a very unique and special gift.
We've been eagerly anticipating
your trip tomorrow.
Six months gone in a flash,
and now here you are,
off to one of your big,
important jobs.
Yeah, I always do feel
a strange urge to go back.
What the hell's going on?
Oh, uh, and I did wanna mention,
um, one other small,
tiny, little loose end.
About two years ago,
I brokered a deal
with Vladyslav Volkov.
It was a smart deal at the time.
It got Mary Sue
into the boardroom
at his banana farm,
she didn't have to do
diddly squat.
And it got him a steady stream
of American intel and influence.
You know, the whole shebang.
Did you just say...
Russian banana farm?
Well, Volkov wants her back
in Russia soon.
Yeah, so that's one more
little critical reason
we need...
to just make sure
she's out of this picture.
-No Mary Sue,
no scandals in Siberia.
-Ah.
But, but Russian banana farm?
Well-- uh--
This Vladyslav Volkov guy
is one serious badass
psychopath.
He's smart
and he's unpredictable.
So that is why this job
has to be so clean,
you could eat off it.
So, when the accusations
go flying,
all those nosy little faces
are looking everywhere...
...but this guy.
What the hell's going on?
One plane ticket to Moscow.
- Hmm.
- And...
One reservation,
completely off the grid,
to help you get better!
That, um, whole rehab thing?
Yeah. That was, uh,
that was Janine's idea,
I, I would've said no--
Well, except the girl's
never gonna make it back
- to Russia in the first place.
- Exactly.
- Are you fucking
kidding me?
- You have a bright future!
You are practically
American royalty.
If you guys wanted to get me
some kind of special gift,
-you could've gotten me a-- t--
Fuck, I don't know, a stripper!
-What?
Like a gigolo in some tight
leather pants or something.
- You need to find a calling
in life outside of...
-...outside of your vices.
-Or you could find solace
in drinking and dancing,
partying and vodka in Moscow.
Sure that's the real reason
you're compelled
to go back there, isn't it?
I know it.
Look, I-- I'm not--
t-- this isn't...
...I'm on
my best behavior, okay?
I've got this under control.
We are doing this
because we love you, Mary Sue.
Right, Bradley?
Just listen to your mother.
How can I say "no" to you
if this is what you want?
But I swear on all that is holy,
if you're really
making me do this,
before I leave tomorrow,
you will utter those three
magical words,
"I love you,"
no matter what it takes.
I fucking hate you with every
goddamn fiber of my being.
But soon,
all the pain will be over.
We'll be free. I'll be free!
Because after tonight...
you will be
as dead as a doornail.
No matter what it takes.
I'm so grateful! Thank you!
Uh--
Well, I know you wanna
get up bright and early,
you got that flight to catch.
Yeah, bright and early.
-Oh! I should
probably give you that.
-Yeah.
Oh, okay. Um,
all right. Okay.
Fuck.
So, then, I eat
my triangle sandwich,
I text Volkov to expect
Mary Sue the very next day,
and that I have full intention
of continuing our relationship.
I say good night to my wife,
kiss her on the cheek,
and head out
for an evening with the guys.
- Yeah,
'cause this campaign
has been long
and he deserves it.
So, it happens, that's--
you know, when he's, he's gone.
Is the team ready?
Ah, the Steiners. Yeah,
they're sick this week.
COVID.
-But I got a golden boy.
-I really wanted the Steiners.
-He really wanted the Steiners.
-He wants one guy.
It's quieter.
It's more maneuverable
for a high class job like this.
Yeah. Go on.
So, his birthday's
in three weeks. Do I,
- do I, do I get him
something tonight, or...
...shit, do I even have time?
Or, uh, or, or, or I could
get him a stripper,
'cause who wouldn't be
into that, but--
Wait, nah,
Mom would hate that.
- Shit. Uh,
I could get him, uh--
- What the hell
are you talking about?
For Bradley to open up to me
before I go back to Russia.
-Oh, the banana farm gig?
-Uh, yeah.
Plus, uh, something else.
God damn it! That's not fair!
Suck my dick, lady!
Choke on my fucking chode,
you little dipshit!
$3.77 for 2%.
-$3.77.
-Mom...
- $3...
- ...why are guys, like,
obsessed with their dicks?
It's like everything just
boils down to that one thing.
Happy dick, angry dick,
confused dick.
Oh, were you
studying your milk thing?
Honey, I think, um,
it would really mean
a lot to him
if you took
your treatment seriously.
It's gonna be hard
at first, yeah,
but it's what's best
for the campaign.
That's what's most important.
How do I help him
with this campaign?
That's what he wants from me,
that's how
I break through to him.
Fuck.
Gentlemen,
I'm giving you Cable Henry.
Certified genius at birth.
Admitted to Mensa
by the age of seven.
Full ride scholarships
to Harvard, Yale, and MIT.
And he gave it all up
for a blood lust.
And I'm really glad that he did,
because he's able to use
his genius in other ways.
Like getting rich killing folk.
Cable Henry knows
at least a thousand ways
to kill a man
as painfully as possible.
I once saw him skin a man alive
with a plastic spoon.
And the spoon never broke.
Who else?
Uh, laundry, uh...
...bedroom upstairs.
Huh.
It's gonna,
it's gonna feel real.
Um, just...
I don't want them to get hurt.
Carrie, she's been with us
for ten years, and...
...Janine...
I need her.
J-- could he just scare them?
Just so hard, this part,
really, it's really hard.
Maybe you'll find a way
to justify it.
Say that it's Mary Sue's
drugged out ex-boyfriend
or somebody
who she owes money to,
or it could be that we kill
two birds with one stone here.
Eliminate Mary Sue,
and I also garner
the sympathy vote.
Janine must remain in the dark.
She always does.
My honest philosophy?
There are two kinds of people
in the world.
Some people assume control,
and some people...
are controlled.
Yes.
Oh, my God, no way!
Fuck yeah!
Just, just one second.
I, I gotta, I gotta go
to the bathroom first.
You know, I mean, I just wanna
freshen up, you know?
Not that I don't
appreciate the-- Okay.
Oh-- oh. Oh!
Yes, Daddy!
Fucking hell!
Do you know who my stepdad is?
Mm!
Mm!
Fucking what?
Do we have to do this
in front of my mom?
Unless you'd be into it.
I mean, I didn't really think
you liked this sort of thing,
but, hey,
I'm not one to kink shame.
Fucking Christ.
I'm really gonna enjoy this.
Make sure she suffers...
...the way I've suffered.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Go hard! Please!
Fuck, did Bradley get you off
fucking Craigslist or something?
No, no, fuck, no!
Do I need to show you?
Like this.
Oh, shit.
- Hello.
- Uh, Bradley?
Mary Sue. Are you okay?
I killed the hooker.
I'm telling you,
consent is BDSM 101,
and, and you're right,
it's fucked that
he didn't get your consent,
but he definitely had that
in mind when he was doing
your restraints.
-Could've slipped out
whenever you wanted.
-No, we weren't getting out.
- How did you even do that?
- Punch him so hard.
Oh, Bradley! Thank God!
Tell them the dude was here
-'cause you sent him for me.
-Oh-- Yeah, yeah. Uh,
God, yeah! I didn't send any--
I mean, that's preposterou--
I mean-- never do
such a thing, that's not--
H-- I'm--
thank God nobody got hurt!
By any chance,
did anyone call the police?
- We were
going to, but then--
- Nah, fuck the cops.
Honey, please talk
some sense into her!
I-- th-- they--
they'll know it was an accident!
-Self-defense!
-Do you mind? I'm--
-She's probably right.
-Well, listen, I-- I just
don't think we should make any
-rash decisions--
-Shouldn't--
Really, we have to think
about the campaign.
Yeah, come on. Fuck the pigs!
Are we sure about this? U--
W-- we need to know
that we are safe.
Yeah, we're safe, we're safe!
-Safe.
-Promise you, we're safe.
Oh, my God! What is happening?
Knox! Cable Henry is dead!
-There's gonna be hell to pay.
-No way. Cable Henry is
a legend.
This gotta happen tonight!
She cannot go
to the airport tomorrow.
Call the Steiners now.
I told you,
the Steiners have COVID.
But are they sick-sick,
or are they asymptomatic?
All right,
I'll make the call, okay?
I think they're close by,
but they're gonna want
- a lot more money.
- Pay them!
Bradley...
-...let me do it.
-You're my campaign manager.
-I can do it. You know I can.
-It's too risky.
I fucking hate her so much.
Well, stop it,
you're creeping me out.
-I didn't do--
-Oh, my God!
-What is happening?
-Is this part of the sex game?
-The what? The sex game?
-Huh?
Bradley, tell them. You bought
the hooker because you love me.
Wait. Oh, my God.
That guy wasn't a hooker,
was he?
- Shut the fuck
up...
- Oh, God!
- Now! Do not fucking move!
The Steiners.
Oh, my God, the Steiners.
Have them take us all hostage.
Plausible deniability.
I like it.
They're there for you.
And then,
after she's dealt with,
the brave senator
finally negotiates
a peaceful resolution.
- Six cousins,
a combined 18 tours of duty.
All they've ever known
is kill or be killed.
So why not keep killing?
Because their leader,
Chet Steiner,
is a monster.
Fuck!
These are our demands.
You resign from office
or we kill everyone.
We don't fucking play games.
I'll be back in ten minutes
for an answer.
- Oh!
- This is terrorism.
Oh, what are we gonna do?
I've given my life for service,
and this is the reward I get.
Bradley, I--
I think you need to...
...come up with one
of your brilliant speeches
and negotiate us out of this.
I mean-- but, I'm--
I-- Okay. Hmm. Uh--
All I ever wanted,
the poor and the sick,
the rich and powerful
to find, uh, harmony,
to find freedom,
to find a path
that they can blaze...
...um, to the future.
If only they knew my heart...
...yes. Yes, uh,
I don't even know, uh--
You're a man of such influence.
You, you give
so much of yourself,
and the fact that people
take that for granted,
-it's sickening!
-Yeah.
I owe everything to you.
From, from,
from partying
in Rio de Janeiro to,
to my art commissions
in Pyongyang to,
-to smoking crack
with the mayor of Toronto.
-Excuse me?
- I mean, not smoking crack
with the mayor of Toronto.
Yeah, Mary Sue,
about that whole rehab thing,
seriously, it wasn't me,
I didn't have-- uh--
-there was nothing about it--
-It's about everything.
You are not dropping out
of this race, Bradley.
You, you can't lose your voice.
You have far too many
beautiful things to say.
Beautiful words, phrases,
three word phrases that you
shower on those closest to you.
Uh...
...God bless America.
- Mm.
- Close. But maybe,
may-- maybe
if I prove it to you, huh?
Prove. Prove what?
-We fight!
-Oh, absolutely not.
- ...we stay
right here, we, we stall--
-we jump out of a window.
-Janine, no one's jumping
out of a window!
-Fuck!
-What do you mean, fight?
Uh, you know what?
I'll just resign.
No, they'll be fucking dead
before I let that happen,
Bradley, I promise you.
How do you suggest
that we fight?
They are trained,
they have machine guns!
I'm trained.
No, you're not.
But I have a 42% win rate
in solo Battle Royale, Mom!
- Come on!
- Can this really be?
All those years
I fought video games,
I championed the regulations,
and for good reason too.
The youth of America,
the pure, innocent youth
being turned
into heartless killers.
-I bet every terrorist
out there plays Fortnite.
-Yeah.
-That's why they're
so organized.
-No shit.
Mary Sue, this is not
a video game!
Mary Sue.
Listen to your mother.
Don't do it.
Do it. Do it.
Go on, do it, you stupid bitch!
Go out there, guns blazing.
If I drew a crayon picture
of us holding hands together,
would you even put it
on the refrigerator?
-Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
-I'm sure as hell!
So, what happens next?
Don't fucking know. Wait another
five minutes or so. Then go up.
Take care of the girl.
Discover the error of our ways.
Yeah. Well, that guy better have
a goddamn amazing monologue
to get us to surrender so fast.
It's the news headline he wants.
- Scott. Five minutes,
all right? Copy?
Copy.
Fuck! The girl is out.
Shoot her?
Shoot her!
Shoot her.
I'll suck your dick.
Wait. Seriously?
Shit!
Try spinning,
that's a good trick.
What the fuck?
Steiners are down.
I repeat, Steiners are down!
Oh, fuck,
forgot about the reload thingy.
Hey, guys,
how do you reload?
Oh! God-- Fuck.
Remember,
stealth is for pussies.
Hmm. Nice.
Shit!
Stop sweeping my fucking leg!
Something's wrong, Chet!
Something's wrong!
- Chet! Help! Help!
Somebody call 911!
It's stuck!
I need a Band-Aid,
somebody get me a Band-Aid!
Ricky! No!
Should leave this.
Shit!
Fuck!
- Hey, Paige.
- What up?
Isn't auto aiming the best?
You, like, barely even
have to try.
Yeah.
Heh.
Janine,
oh, my God. Is she here?
You know,
I'm starting to think
none of these guys
have even played Fortnite.
- Yo-- you gotta
let me do it, Bradley.
You know I'm your man,
I can do it. Please!
You're okay. Yeah. That's it.
Let it out.
Let it out. Yeah, let it out.
Let the poison out.
You gotta let me do it.
Let me do it.
- I'm your man.
- I'm your man. I can do it.
- I'm good.
- Yes. Yeah. Yeah.
Feeling better? Get it all out.
Yeah, there you go!
Get it out of there!
Get it out of there.
Man, Bradley's
really taking this hard.
-Poor guy.
-Mary Sue, what is going on?
W-- with what?
H-- how have you--
Like, the punching, the--
and the fighting? Shooting?
-Th--
-W-- what do you mean?
Did you kill all those people?
Yeah.
How?
-Huh?
-Huh?
-What?
-What?
-Uh? What?
-Huh? What?
What?
Time to call the police?
Uh--
Carrie, why do I feel
like nothing's adding up?
Everything tonight,
how it all unfolded,
the Russia thing.
What about the Russia thing?
It's just...
...I, um, I need to figure out
how much a gallon
of milk is over there.
Bradley would want me to know.
- Oh-- -You got it.
- It's all right.
Yeah. Okay. Okay.
-Oh, my--
-Okay. Oh, I got you.
- Yeah.
- I got you.
Are you-- you jonesing?
- Jonesing?
- Yeah.
You know,
you need a little puff-puff.
It's just, sometimes you need
to take the edge off a little.
You know, so you can...
...open up, talk about...
...our feelings...
...for one another.
Okay. Come on.
Okay, come on.
Well, listen...
if the Steiners couldn't handle it,
- I just don't know what to say.
- I need bigger!
I need your best!
No more bullshit, okay?
-No more bad recommendations.
-Senator, i-- it's not like--
it's not like I'm having
a birthday party
of assassins in my basement
where they're just
hanging around,
waiting to come
to your front door
every 20 minutes.
We were told you were the best.
- I am the best!
- Oh, bullshit!
You got less credibility
than a high school drug dealer
Nigerian prince, or one
of those spam phone callers,
-you know, with the,
with the car warranty guys.
-Yeah, who's the one
that found him, though, huh?
Who's the one that brought him
into our circle of trust?
Well, how was I supposed
to know, Bradley?
Yeah, you didn't know!
You don't know shit.
And now I'm 15 points
behind Anita in the polls!
-Listen, we are gonna win
this election, okay?
-How?
-You gotta trust me on this.
-How? Are you gonna kill her?
You bet I damn well
will kill her
if you just let me.
Oh, that-- Oh, my God!
You're such a failure!
-Failure?
-Yes!
...I'll do it!
-You hurt my feelings.
You hurt my feelings now.
-I feed you, I drive you around.
- ...terrible advisor!
- You don't understand me.
- Gentlemen, gentlemen.
- ...talking about?
- Another fucking fib!
- Gentlemen!
I didn't think it would
ever come to this again.
But I guess...
...drastic times
call for drastic measures.
He has been retired
for 20 years,
-I don't know, fuck me.
-Who?
He's not a savage...
like Cable Henry.
And he's not a tight fit,
like... well, like the Steiners.
But he has something
that they'll never have.
And I know he's available.
Okay. Well, who?
It isn't gonna be easy
to get him out of retirement.
It's gonna cost you
a pretty penny.
Oh, well, money is not
an issue, is it?
He's had many nicknames
in his time.
"The Blight of Man,"
"God's Chosen Butcher,"
"Death's Promise,"
"The Genius of Genocide,"
"The Maestro of Malevolence,"
"The Cancer of Creation."
He's not the Grim Reaper.
He's who the Grim Reaper
timidly asks for permission
to do his job.
An impeccable 100% success rate.
He's killed war generals,
untouchable billionaires,
regents of countries,
and under a dark cloud
of rogue influence,
he created an impact
on this world so deep
and so everlasting
that you'd think he was a god.
His weapon of choice?
A pair of pitch black
battle knives
that have cut the throats
of 10,000 men
across a half century of war.
He has a psychic connection
to them now.
- They speak to him.
They call his name...
...and they sing as he slays.
"Kill, kill, kill."
And his retirement
was a true pity.
It was only because he was
so pathetically unchallenged.
And alas, this dragon longed
for a worthy enemy
- to finally raise him
from his slumber once more.
- That's
what I'm talking about! Yeah!
- Yeah.
And how do I know so much about
this awful, awful man, you ask?
Because it's me.
What's for dinner?
Huh?
Oh, fuck!
Please,
don't hit me again.
Okay? Look, I'm hurt.
I mean, I'm hurt.
I just wanna go home.
I want my mother.
Ma! Ma!
Ma! Ma!
Okay, so, how do you,
uh, wanna approach this?
Well, we got him alive,
let's make him talk.
- All right, uh,
who, who sent you?
Uh, you guys,
um, thi-- this just,
just isn't right, you know?
-This guy's a human being too.
-He came with knives.
Yeah, and whoever sent him
definitely sent the other guys.
So, somebody's up to something.
Uh, yeah, you're right!
I don't know who would try
and harm my babies!
Yeah, your fucking babies.
All right, listen up, douchebag.
Who fucking sent you, huh?
For real,
this is a fucking interrogation.
- Spill it! Now! Come on!
- Yeah!
Start talking,
- asshole! Give us a name!
- Come on!
Who gave you--
Is it someone we know?
- If you don't start talking,
I start blasting! All right?
- Ten, nine...
- ...whoa!
...eight, seven, six...
...five, four,
three, motherfucker!
Okay!
It's a goddamn campaign tactic.
All the assassins
hired by the campaign
to fucking kill you.
They needed you dead.
I can explain.
There's nothing left
to explain, Bradley.
- Y-- you see--
- That bitch!
-Bitch?
-Yeah, you just
fucking heard the guy!
It's a campaign tactic?
Hello! Anita Koch,
your Senate opponent?
- Yeah! I mean, yeah!
I know, you're so right!
- That fucking bitch!
Yeah. Her! Fucking s-- can--
can-- Senate candidate.
Awful, corrupt, evil bitch!
-I don't know
if that makes sense.
-Yeah, it makes sense, Janine.
She thinks I'm a liability!
I'm gaining influence.
I got a job.
-Fucking bananas to sell.
-Yeah, you're gonna sell
the shit out of those
goddamn bananas, baby girl.
Quarterly banana profits
going through the fucking roof!
-That's what she's afraid of.
-Yeah. You know
what else she's afraid of?
She's afraid of how much I love
U--SA traditional values,
hard work, and good opportunity
for all Americans.
-I'm gonna call her.
-You're gonna do what?
I got her number when I stole
your phone last month--
I-- I mean, borrowed your phone.
Um...
Oh, hello, whore!
Thought you could
pull a fast one, huh?
That's a dirty
fucking trick, bitch!
The fucking assassins, huh?
Does that ring a bell, Anita?
Who the fuck
do you think it is, huh?
Mary Sue Harper? Heiress
to the Russian banana empire?
Yeah, Bradley's here.
Uh, no, he does not
wanna talk to you, slut.
No, no, no,
you fucking listen to me, okay?
We're coming for you, all right?
So you should, you should be
fucking scared shitless,
all right?
Because I'm going
to cunt-punt you
into next fucking Tuesday, okay?
You're fucking dead!
So choke
on my fucking bananas, bitch!
-I'm gonna take this outside.
-Yeah, you do, you do you.
Anita. Anita!
Ho-- how are things?
Why did I just get a call
from your stepdaughter
at 1:00 in the morning saying
she was coming to kill me?
What? I-- I mean, what?
She said you were with her.
Huh-- No, hold on. I'm, um,
here, uh, at the, uh,
campaign office. Yeah.
Um, boy, I gotta tell you,
you know what I mean?
You really raked me over
the coals with that last poll,
so I have to, uh,
work, um, overtime.
Double time.
I'm here at my campaign office.
Well, is she
at the campaign office too?
Uh, Mary Sue.
Uh...
uh, frankly, I barely know what she's up to.
Threatening to kill me!
Uh, yeah--
well, no, I'm, uh,
at my campaign office.
Yeah, you really raked me over
the coals with that last poll.
Bradley,
don't you find this odd?
She's a drug addict, Anita.
She threatens
to kill me all the time.
Nothing to worry about.
Well, I'm gonna call the police.
- Oh, well, I mean, I guess
you can if you want...
...but I don't really understand
how it makes any, uh...
...sense.
Uh... the, uh...
Uh, Bradley, is something wrong?
-No.
-The tone of your voice
does not seem--
Yeah, long night. Yeah.
Long night, um, in the coals,
um, raking over
my campaign office, yeah.
Yeah.
Uh, yeah,
Anita, let me just have you--
hold on just for one moment.
Uh, yeah. Just be two
easy breezy minutes here.
Huh. Vladyslav!
- My friend.
- Senator Weiner.
Quick question. Eh--
Why is Kremlin calling Vladyslav
about the assassins at doorstep?
The Kremlin?
You're alive, that's good.
Uh, what about girl?
Uh, uh, who? Um--
-Mary Sue?
-Oh, yes. Girl.
She's very important
to business.
Very important to banana farm.
I believe you know.
Crop yield down,
banana export in trouble.
- You don't want Vladyslav
in trouble, do you?
- No, never.
And you would never betray
Vladyslav's trust, would you?
Um, no need. Um, no, not at all.
Good. Because
I was starting to worry
about my business decisions.
Never.
- N-- no.
- Good. 'Cause that would
hurt my feelings.
Oh! You know, you Americans,
- do you-- you think
that you can govern anything?
- No. Untouchable.
- Us Americans.
I know, i--
But, uh, even
the most powerful man
can be punched.
I mean, I know because I have,
uh, people everywhere.
Look behind you.
I just kid.
All right,
so I will get girl tomorrow.
Well then, go ahead
and keep her.
I'm just kidding, seriously!
Uh, yeah, it's been, uh,
an honor to, um, collude.
What a dick.
Okay, Vladys.
Bradley, what--
Ah... what?
Why did you merge me
onto that call?
What? Oh, shit!
Uh--
They don't grow bananas
in Russia.
What are you talking about?
That was the single
strangest phone call of my life.
I got to call
my campaign manager.
-The Kremlin. The Kremlin!
The Kremlin.
-What? Who?
They're watching,
they're outside.
- Who?
- Yeah.
Do not fuck with Vladyslav!
Do you-- do you
understand me, Mary Sue?
And you're actually
going tomorrow.
This time, I'm serious.
What do you mean, you're
serious about it this time?
Why don't you just concentrate
on milk prices, please?
-Organic!
-4.84.
-Skim!
-It's 3.79!
-Chocolate!
-Ch-- uh, um--
- Chocolate!
- Uh-- Shit!
- All right, listen,
Bradley, there's gotta be
a logical explanation for,
for, you know,
wha-- whatever this is
that's going on, and--
What are you talking
about people outside?
You mean, like, people
who are trying to come in?
Yeah.
-Kremlin.
-Kremlin?
Gremlins?
- I--
I think that's you.
Oh, shit. Paige. Y-- Hi, yes.
D-- duh. I'm, I'm sor--
I'm coming right over.
-Oh.
-What the fuck?
God, I'm so dumb.
I called Paige and told her
to bring a bunch of people over.
You know,
back when the hooker was here.
Fuck. Girl, he wasn't a hooker.
There was never
gonna be a sex party.
I'm so sorry
I didn't text you back.
I just kind of got
caught up with all
the assassination attempts.
Wait, mm, what was all that?
Literally, I told him
I would suck his dick,
and then I fucking shot his ass.
It was crazy!
God, you had to be there.
So, yeah.
Now we gotta go rain hellfire
on the bitch
he's running against.
Do you guys wanna come?
It's actually not that hard
to kill people, apparently.
And we need a big send off
before I leave, yeah?
You guys down? Cool beans?
How did you not know
that Russia was spying on us?
- How was I supposed to know?
- Wes!
If Mary Sue
doesn't go to Russia,
Vladyslav's gonna bury my ass.
And if she does go to Russia,
then Anita's gonna bury my ass.
What did you say?
What did she overhear?
Did you tip her off?
Oh, fuck! Bradley!
She's gonna send press
to the airport!
It's gonna be in the newspapers.
It's gonna say, "Senator Weiner
took a pay-or-play deal."
It's gonna be
all over the place!
You think 15 points back is bad?
Try 30. Try 40! You're burning
this goddamn election
into the fucking ground.
Wes, get out!
You killed this campaign.
You were in command
of the whole thing.
Oh. Oh, you, you think
you're firing me?
-Is that it?
-Yeah, get the fuck
out of my house!
We can have a discussion about
your future at a later date.
Uh, uh, Carrie!
-You're making a big mistake.
-Carrie, get in here!
You are. I know things.
I know everything.
I know you, I know secrets.
And I've been loyal!
It's because of me you got here.
Now, listen, I can-- Look.
If you want me to,
I can go ahead and kill her.
Carrie, will you see Wes out
immediately, please?
Really?
Watching me.
How long were they watching?
This is a fucking nightmare.
Fucking hell. How?
-Senator?
-Not now!
Bradley.
You are backbone
of this federation.
You are bear.
You have no fear, no hesitation.
- You have only loyalty
to the Motherland.
- You will be
in peak physical condition.
You will feel no pain.
-Lie.
-I love America.
- There will be
no skill, however deadly,
you will not master.
-Lie!
-I love America!
- Your enemies
will flee with fear...
...or lay to waste
on battlefield
- with only their own
insolence to blame.
Lie!
I love America!
You will assimilate
into American society,
marry, obtain employment,
live double life...
- ...gain access
to people with influence.
- Gather information
of extreme sensitivity,
send back to Moscow.
Your American life is a lie.
- Your friends are your enemies,
your employers, your enslavers.
- Treat them like dogs
on battlefield.
Be pride of your Motherland.
Huh--
You know, I'm starting to think
none of these guys have even
played Fortnite.
Carrie, she's been
with us for ten years.
- Don't make me regret
buying American.
- Uh--
Senior KGB intelligence officer,
Svetlana Belski,
hero of the Russian Federation.
Order of Saint George,
defender of a free Russia.
- You are
like girl, you see,
spinning web of lies too vast
for your own brain
to comprehend.
- It renders you
unable to function. Like girl.
What is difference
between you and her?
A pipe for lie compounded
through an addiction to power.
No. I'm-- I'm not--
I'm not like-- I'm not like her.
You think you are in control
simply because
you can give orders?
It's--
it's-- just that--
Are you gonna kill me?
What I see is cry for help.
I see desperation.
I see dog.
Can you--
can you fix this?
- You want girl dead?
- Yeah!
You want Vladyslav off back?
You want campaign victory?
All are still possible.
Do you-- uh,
do you work for Vlad?
We have mutual friends.
But I represent
bigger interests.
I just can't--
- Can you just tell-- tell me what...
- what I can do or say or pledge?
-Loyalty.
-Oh.
Animals like Mary Sue
survive and thrive on chaos.
It is only way they can survive,
and you feed her.
You must strike girl
in only place
where her weakness lies.
Oh!
You want some? Sorry.
Hey, you're my guest!
You go first.
Oh, more for me.
Mom, hi! Knock much?
I actually told her to come up.
Right.
Uh, so, so,
so is Bradley ready to go?
'Cause we're, we're all eager
to go to Anita's house
and fuck shit up, aren't we?
Or we can,
I guess, just chill.
What the fuck is up
with you guys?
We didn't come here tonight
for the BDSM.
I mean, we did come
for the BDSM,
-but then, after that--
-This needed to happen
before you left home.
So you recruited
my friends into this too?
She didn't recruit anyone.
This conversation
was all of our idea.
Conversation about what?
If I had a problem,
I think I'd know.
Plus, I don't need anything
that I don't already have, okay?
I'm, I'm happy, I'm alive,
I'm taken care of by,
by, by Bradley, okay?
Bradley takes care of me!
Mary Sue, you can't go a day
without that pipe.
You're always late.
You're never motivated.
-It's a stranglehold.
-Okay, I just killed,
like, a bunch of people
to save my family, okay?
I'm, I'm better!
All right? I'm stronger!
And one day soon,
it's gonna catch up with you.
I have seen it happen before.
I love you.
- We love you, Mary Sue.
- Yeah!
We love you, Mary Sue.
O-- okay. Whe-- wh-- where,
where's Bradley, all right?
Because if this were
the right thing to do,
Bradley would be here too.
Bradley, he's--
Yeah. Busy with the campaign?
I know, 'cause he's got
a fucking plan.
-You think he gives
two shits about you?
-He, he's the reason
that I'm going to fucking
Russia tomorrow, okay?
With, with pride for him!
And, and I'm gonna be
growing fucking bananas
because Bradley knows--
You just-- what is it you think
that Bradley feels about you?
He's never even told me
he loves me.
His own wife.
I'm a political token, a--
a puppet who screwed up one time
in front of the camera,
and now I have to memorize
milk prices
until the end of time.
I used to be young and free,
just like you.
More free, actually.
But... it's too late for me.
But for you--
Free?
I'm as free
as I need to be, okay?
My real dad, remember him?
'Cause I barely fucking do.
He was free to do
whatever the fuck he wanted,
and look what happened to him.
Why would I be
any different, huh?
If he had a Bradley in his life,
he would still be here.
You don't
really think that, do you?
Everything tonight,
the break-ins,
the killers.
It's not Anita,
it doesn't add up.
I don't even think
that I can admit out loud
who I think it really was.
Hey, everybody.
I just want you to know,
if I haven't said it yet
today...
...I love you, sugar plum.
See? Bradley takes care of me.
Yeah. Okay, yeah.
Yeah. I-- I did the,
uh, with the, uh--
You have nothing left to do.
You go rest.
Take comfort in victory.
I will bring girl to plane,
I will placate her anxieties,
I will be friend
in dark places...
...and then she will be no more.
How can I rest?
What about the dead bodies
down in the living room?
I am housekeeper.
I will take care.
- Okay, but--
what about Janine, my family?
- The authorities?
- -Housekeeper will take care.
Media?
Housekeeper will take care.
We need
professional photographers
to catch everything on film.
-Right, but it's
gonna be dangerous.
-D-- Bodyguard.
Uh, of course, bodyguards.
And they're gonna be
armed and ready.
Guess who's gonna take you
to the airport?
Gonna see you off
on your big adventure.
- Carrie! I knew
you'd understand.
Look, just keep
that girl away from us, okay?
-She's a psycho.
-She ain't touching nobody.
Janine, give me the milk.
I'll get the bag.
- You can get going.
- Are you sure?
You drive the senator
and his family,
not the housekeeper.
- I'll Uber.
- Okay.
You really see how vodka...
Hello! Oh, nobody prepared me
for senator's stepdaughter
to be so beautiful.
The plane will arrive
in 30 minutes.
We will fuel, and then into sky.
You like cocktails?
We have on board.
What the hell?
-Carrie?
-Yeah.
T-- the ticket.
Ticket?
Th-- the one
that Bradley gave me?
It was for an airline.
No. This is where
he told me to take you.
He said the Russians were
flying you out private.
No. No, no.
It, it was for an airline.
Are you questioning Bradley?
No. I just--
- I, I actually have the ticket in my bag.
- -Careful.
Don't let them see
what's inside.
I packed you something,
but you need to use it
before you get on the plane.
You don't want another scandal
for his campaign, do you?
Russian drug laws and all.
Y--
you put that in my bag?
Just go into the restroom
and check the front pocket.
Consider it
a special parting gift.
Not from your housekeeper,
but from a friend.
Who do you think facilitated
her habits when you were away?
Cleaned up her messes,
kept her dependent?
She will not leave
hanger bathroom alive.
Drug will be laced
with ten times lethal dose
of fentanyl.
Her body will shut down
60 seconds after inhalation.
Oh, Mary Sue, I didn't--
um, I didn't expect
to hear from you.
Why not?
Well...
because, well, I-- well,
I thought you'd be on the plane.
Carrie took me
to the wrong airport,
some weird place
in the middle of the woods.
-Well, did she now?
-I think so.
A-- actually, I don't know.
I'm, I'm confused.
Don't be. Listen to Carrie.
I'm, I'm flying private?
You were always flying private.
Just do as Carrie says.
Then everything
will be over. I promise.
Bradley...
...last night,
Mom told me something,
something about you.
- Hmm. Really?
- That's interesting.
And I wanted to know
if it's true or not.
Here's what's true...
...okay, Mary Sue?
What's true is that I love you.
I love you.
I'll always love you.
I mean, I'm not Bradley.
I'm Dad.
Dad.
Now, enjoy the gift from Carrie.
Wait five minutes,
then clear out bathroom.
Leave bags with me.
- Take body into forest.
- -We have place in mind already.
Drag her out to--
Who the fuck?
Get him now!
-Oh! Oh, oh, shit. Oh, shit.
-Come on, come on!
No, no, shit, shit. No, no.
Shit. No, no, no-- Hey. Hey.
Oh, no, no. No,
hey, hey, hey, hey, guys.
Hey! Hey, hey, guys,
hey, hey, how are you?
All right. Hiya.
Carrie! Hi!
Wes. What are you doing here?
I-- I w-- I wanted
to just check on Mary Sue,
you know,
with the long flight and all.
Man, you ruined the shot!
You're gonna ruin us all!
- Hold on now. Back up.
- Who are you?
This is private property.
Everyone.
State your business, now!
All right, fuck it. I'll say it.
I'm here to shoot the girl.
No, wait a minute.
We're here to shoot the girl.
-Yet, there will be no shooting.
-She's already been shot.
-Really?
-I did not see girl get shot.
-In the cloud.
-Wait, she's
on the plane already?
There is no plane.
Well, then how
is she in the cloud?
-The shot is in the cloud.
-The bullet?
Wait, wait-- Carrie,
why do you have
a Russian accent
all of a sudden?
It appears,
despite our differences,
we are all here
on similar mission.
The girl, she is to die.
-Die?
-In fact, she is already dead.
Mary Sue Harper is
dead in that bathroom?
I'll believe that when I see it.
Give me my gun back!
Mary Sue!
Why does he have a gun?
To shoot the girl?
Like you said.
No, no, don't shoot!
You didn't take the drugs?
The drugs took me.
D-- j-- just-- ah--
Did you come to America?
Yes. Eh, Vladyslav was worried.
Y-- ah, yeah.
Uh, yeah. In fact,
uh, the housekeeper just took
Mary Sue to the airport
-about an hour ago.
-No, uh, housekeeper dead.
What? 'Cause--
- Are you
going to kill us?
- What? No. Don't be crazy--
Shut up, Bradley! God!
Are you?
Come on, don't be craze,
huh?
No, asset will do that herself.
-Uh, asset?
-Yeah.
-Mary Sue?
-I mean, what did you think
Vladyslav would do
with girl, hmm?
All those months,
hidden on a banana farm.
What, do you think
that she was running the empire?
No!
I create asset, I create weapon,
I create monster.
A drug-addled brain
is a pile of mush, like sponge,
- perfect for shaping
into any form.
Her skills and instincts are now
second nature, but hidden,
ready to answer
Vladyslav's call,
helpless to disobey.
And with the right trigger,
her psychosis was
easy to obtain.
Trigger?
What trigger?
A totem.
Uh, something of vast
emotional significance,
something that she carries
with her wherever she travels.
This is how one
truly gains power.
- Take your subject's
emotional weakness...
...and box them in with it,
a prison of her own mind.
This key, held by Vladyslav.
Ah, Senator, I want
to thank you for the opportunity
that you handed to me
on a silver platter.
And the girl, she gave me
ultimate leverage,
all against you,
against your country,
and against anyone
who tries to defy Vladyslav.
It's just such a shame
to have to do this to you
after years of trust.
But, yes, you have
broken our arrangement.
Girl can fulfill
her final purpose.
Control.
It is all about control.
I mean, okay, yeah, but, like,
- what if I wanna be
in control...
-...of myself for once?
-Shit.
No, no.
Vladyslav's brainwash
cannot be undone.
-Looks a bit undone.
-No, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
As long as she
still values totem,
she will never be free.
Oh, the picture.
Yeah, picture's gone.
You really wanna box me
into my emotional weaknesses?
Try a gigolo in some tight
leather pants next time.
Oh, go!
Fuck that!
Oh!
Mary Sue!
God! Amazing job, I just--
I knew you'd come through
for me again.
Yeah. About that.
- Uh, no, no,
don't shoot, please!
Uh, Janine, do something,
talk to her! She's yours. Um--
I love you.
I agree with her.
Fuck that!
All this time,
the vice, the real vice?
It wasn't just the drugs,
it wasn't them.
It was you, Bradley.
It was always you.
Fuck off, Mary Sue.
What the fuck?
You think you're so big
you can supersede
your true superiors?
You stupid little child!
What the fuck!
You can't outsmart me.
You can't outrun me.
You cannot rule over me!
You are not invincible!
You cannot kill God!
What the fuck! Oh, my God!
Did-- did ya--
What?
O-- oh!
- Why--
What do you think?
- Should we do it?
- I-- just--
-How c--
-If you don't, um...
- No. no.
- ...there's plenty
of others who will.
Other Vladyslavs
around the world
who will gladly discard him
with the trash,
now that he's on his way out.
What now?
I don't know.
Check me in somewhere?
You're still going?
Maybe not all the way
in Russia, but...
...I've had my body and mind
fucked with for far too long.
A break would be nice.
I'm proud of you,
following through on this,
even though I'm sure
you just wanna
run away screaming.
You keep kicking ass,
Mary Sue, you got that?
Let me go get the car.
Goodbye, Bradley.
Tragic news today
out of our nation's capital.
At the age of 65,
Senator Bradley Weiner,
the beloved politician who gave
a voice to a generation
and who was, of course,
a longtime friend
of the Clintons,
has committed suicide
via two gunshots
to the back of his head.
- The president is
preparing a statement
- and is reported to deliver...
- -Hey, honey, did you see this?
I've been inundated. Holy shit!
I'm having my manager
prepare a statement
to be released within the hour.
Well, I guess you know
what this means
for the campaign.
Oh, I'm well aware.
I even have
some bigger dirt to boot.
And that goddamn Jeremy?
He's there playing video games,
you know, all day long
again, hibernating in his room.
Trash everywhere.
Goddamn room
smells like marijuana.
Oh, I-- can you, uh, go tell him
to come down and spend
some family time?
-Of course.
-Aha! Gotcha.
- Stupid little kid.
- Stop fucking camping so much.
Oh, I suck?
Ask your mom who really sucks.
-Jeremy.
Dinner will be ready soon.
-Get out of my room! God!
- Hey, house lady.
- You got my stuff?
Yeah.
-Dad, look! I drew us.
-What?
- Other side.
- Oh.
- So beautiful! Look, that's me
and that's you, and...
...and the other-- Yes!
Oh, my God!
I'm gonna hold on to this
forever and ever.
You know, you deserve the world,
sugar plum.
And I'm gonna give it to you.
I mean, big-ass house,
toys, parties, friends!
You ready to go get it?
We're gonna go in there
and scrounge up
our investment capital
right now.
Let's go get it.
What do you want?
-Anything at all.
-Ice cream!
Yes! Good choice!
All right, now listen,
go grab a bunch,
but remember,
do not turn around.
Got it?
Okay, baby. Use your hands.
- Yo,
open the register!
Give me the fucking money!
Everybody,
get a load of this one,
you're not gonna believe it.
From trailer park trash
to Washington political trash.
No, no, no!
Let's, let's hear it.
We can confirm Senator
Bradley Weiner's stepdaughter,
Mary Sue Harper,
has returned today home
following her massive scandal
this week in Moscow.
The allegations? Sex,
violent confrontations
with authorities,
enough drugs
to kill an elephant,
and guess
who bailed her out again?
I mean, what business
does she even have over there?
She's a spoiled brat,
plain and simple.
Never thought of anything
other than her own
selfish desires
-and her own--
-Okay, that, that's enough.
This story has--
Are you serious?
Just, uh, don't tell
the big guy, huh?
Carrie?
Yeesh!
Carrie! You home?
Got my stuff?
And the housekeeper
pulls through again.
- She's in her room, I think.
-Nice.
Hey, you think I can hit it?
I bet she puts out super easy.
Careful.
She's a druggie piece of shit, just like her real dad.
He was stabbed or shot,
or what was it?
Stabbed 12 times
in the face and neck.
-Pretty fucking sick,
if you ask me.
-How the fuck
- did you get down here?
- And I only put out
if you can punch me
in the face. Hard.
All right? No pussy shit.
I'm talking broken orbitals.
Okay? Send me to the next week.
S-- scratch that,
next fucking month.
Okay? You can rock me like that,
I'll let you photograph me
however the hell you want.
How's that for a deal?
Gandhi once said,
"Do what you love and you'll
never work a day in your life."
- And, well, it,
it's a long story.
- People call me spoiled,
people call me entitled,
but I know where
the anger comes from.
They're jealous.
They're lucky if they can
just barely scrape by
and pay their bills
working some shit job.
Well, I'm lucky because my dad
robbed a convenience store
when I was seven.
- Give me
the fucking money!
- Fuck, man,
I was just--
Cue my mom's slut face...
...her meeting
Mayor Bradley Weiner
at a fundraiser...
...Mayor Bradley Weiner becoming
Senator Bradley Weiner...
...and Senator Bradley Weiner
freeing us from the tyranny
of having to live real lives.
Look at me now, Dad! I get
to have all your fun with none
of the consequences, don't I?
- People say that Bradley
only got married to further
his political goals
or something.
And also that he's trying
to get rid of me.
Like the time he sent me away
to another country?
- Or that I'm an abuse victim...
- whatever that means.
But again, that's just
stupid people being
stupid jealous.
- ...great to see you--
- If I could use
one word to describe
my stepdad...
...it would be honest,
loyal, hard-working, and pure.
- He's not the guy who says
one thing and does another
behind closed doors.
He lives his values.
I hope you vote for me
in 20 years. Thank you, Mommy!
Being a senator's kid truly
allows you to live your life
the way Gandhi would've wanted.
Rules? Not my problem.
Money? Not my problem.
Problems?
Not my fucking problem.
And he'll never say it...
...but I know why he does it.
It's because he loves me.
I mean,
I'm pretty sure he loves me.
The senator's stepdaughter
attacked two photographers
outside her home.
Inserting their own cameras
up their anal cavities.
After she claimed that they,
and I'd like to quote her
on this...
..."Couldn't hit her
in the damn face hard enough."
Get down there!
I mean, like,
why wouldn't he love me?
Mary Sue Harper got kidnaped
for a third time!
Another high profile scandal
for Senator Weiner,
as the Navy SEALs are
once again called in
- to rescue her
on the taxpayer's dime.
He definitely loves me.
- Mary Sue Harper...
- Mary Sue Harper was detained this afternoon.
- -Mary Sue Harper...
- Mary Sue Harper...
- ...has seduced
the Prime Minister of Malaysia
and stolen his kidneys.
She is a national...
...security risk.
Because, truth be told,
I would literally take
a bullet for that man.
I need you
to put a bullet in her.
- The waters
are very choppy
as Senator Weiner looks to be
reelected for his fourth term.
His opponent,
activist Anita Koch,
surges even further
in the polls.
Many are claiming this to be
the beginning of the end
of a long, hard road for Weiner.
Various analysts are looking
at the data and making
-grim predictions for Weiner
as his path to victory narrows.
-Here you go, sir.
-Only two months ago, he was
leading by double digits...
-But--
-...and now that's...
-Cut that into triangles.
It's more sandwich that way.
Oh, of, of course, sir.
There's a lot of housekeepers
I could go with, so don't
make me regret buying American.
-I understand.
Won't happen again.
-...push in the coming week...
Carrie.
-...he will secure...
-Triangles.
More sandwich.
Yes, sir. I understand.
Lucky I'm
in a good mood tonight.
The thing is, you need to take
control of your life, girl.
And he is never
gonna let you do that.
You know, Paige,
you're so fucking right.
God, I'm so happy
to hear you finally say that.
Right? Like, he's weak!
-He is. And holding you back!
-100%.
Like, sending you
around the world
to pick up bags of cash.
It's a power play,
with all his foreign bribes.
What better way to make sure
they know they're below him
than to make them hand
the money over to someone
he thinks is such a fuck up?
W-- wait, uh,
who are you talking about?
Your stepdad?
What? No! Bradley's awesome!
Who did you think
we were talking about?
Those fucking losers
who couldn't punch me
-in the face hard enough.
-What?
It's like,
just go for it, you know?
Like, if I give you
full permission,
why you gotta hold back?
-What?
-You know, Paige,
thanks for talking this through.
Really needed your support.
Your stepfather's coming.
It's time to check in on her.
-What's the price today?
-U-- um, skim, whole,
2%, or organic?
Whole.
It's, uh, it's, uh,
it's, uh, $4.38 a gallon.
Uh, com-- co-- come in!
Shit!
Mary Sue, on the bed.
Janine, let's have a word.
This doesn't go there.
Uh, my adorable little girl.
You've always been
so faithful and supportive.
You've been
my greatest champion,
and I'll never forget it.
Thanks, Bradley. You know
how much I love you.
And I... love
u--nique gifts.
Which is why we got you
a very unique and special gift.
We've been eagerly anticipating
your trip tomorrow.
Six months gone in a flash,
and now here you are,
off to one of your big,
important jobs.
Yeah, I always do feel
a strange urge to go back.
What the hell's going on?
Oh, uh, and I did wanna mention,
um, one other small,
tiny, little loose end.
About two years ago,
I brokered a deal
with Vladyslav Volkov.
It was a smart deal at the time.
It got Mary Sue
into the boardroom
at his banana farm,
she didn't have to do
diddly squat.
And it got him a steady stream
of American intel and influence.
You know, the whole shebang.
Did you just say...
Russian banana farm?
Well, Volkov wants her back
in Russia soon.
Yeah, so that's one more
little critical reason
we need...
to just make sure
she's out of this picture.
-No Mary Sue,
no scandals in Siberia.
-Ah.
But, but Russian banana farm?
Well-- uh--
This Vladyslav Volkov guy
is one serious badass
psychopath.
He's smart
and he's unpredictable.
So that is why this job
has to be so clean,
you could eat off it.
So, when the accusations
go flying,
all those nosy little faces
are looking everywhere...
...but this guy.
What the hell's going on?
One plane ticket to Moscow.
- Hmm.
- And...
One reservation,
completely off the grid,
to help you get better!
That, um, whole rehab thing?
Yeah. That was, uh,
that was Janine's idea,
I, I would've said no--
Well, except the girl's
never gonna make it back
- to Russia in the first place.
- Exactly.
- Are you fucking
kidding me?
- You have a bright future!
You are practically
American royalty.
If you guys wanted to get me
some kind of special gift,
-you could've gotten me a-- t--
Fuck, I don't know, a stripper!
-What?
Like a gigolo in some tight
leather pants or something.
- You need to find a calling
in life outside of...
-...outside of your vices.
-Or you could find solace
in drinking and dancing,
partying and vodka in Moscow.
Sure that's the real reason
you're compelled
to go back there, isn't it?
I know it.
Look, I-- I'm not--
t-- this isn't...
...I'm on
my best behavior, okay?
I've got this under control.
We are doing this
because we love you, Mary Sue.
Right, Bradley?
Just listen to your mother.
How can I say "no" to you
if this is what you want?
But I swear on all that is holy,
if you're really
making me do this,
before I leave tomorrow,
you will utter those three
magical words,
"I love you,"
no matter what it takes.
I fucking hate you with every
goddamn fiber of my being.
But soon,
all the pain will be over.
We'll be free. I'll be free!
Because after tonight...
you will be
as dead as a doornail.
No matter what it takes.
I'm so grateful! Thank you!
Uh--
Well, I know you wanna
get up bright and early,
you got that flight to catch.
Yeah, bright and early.
-Oh! I should
probably give you that.
-Yeah.
Oh, okay. Um,
all right. Okay.
Fuck.
So, then, I eat
my triangle sandwich,
I text Volkov to expect
Mary Sue the very next day,
and that I have full intention
of continuing our relationship.
I say good night to my wife,
kiss her on the cheek,
and head out
for an evening with the guys.
- Yeah,
'cause this campaign
has been long
and he deserves it.
So, it happens, that's--
you know, when he's, he's gone.
Is the team ready?
Ah, the Steiners. Yeah,
they're sick this week.
COVID.
-But I got a golden boy.
-I really wanted the Steiners.
-He really wanted the Steiners.
-He wants one guy.
It's quieter.
It's more maneuverable
for a high class job like this.
Yeah. Go on.
So, his birthday's
in three weeks. Do I,
- do I, do I get him
something tonight, or...
...shit, do I even have time?
Or, uh, or, or, or I could
get him a stripper,
'cause who wouldn't be
into that, but--
Wait, nah,
Mom would hate that.
- Shit. Uh,
I could get him, uh--
- What the hell
are you talking about?
For Bradley to open up to me
before I go back to Russia.
-Oh, the banana farm gig?
-Uh, yeah.
Plus, uh, something else.
God damn it! That's not fair!
Suck my dick, lady!
Choke on my fucking chode,
you little dipshit!
$3.77 for 2%.
-$3.77.
-Mom...
- $3...
- ...why are guys, like,
obsessed with their dicks?
It's like everything just
boils down to that one thing.
Happy dick, angry dick,
confused dick.
Oh, were you
studying your milk thing?
Honey, I think, um,
it would really mean
a lot to him
if you took
your treatment seriously.
It's gonna be hard
at first, yeah,
but it's what's best
for the campaign.
That's what's most important.
How do I help him
with this campaign?
That's what he wants from me,
that's how
I break through to him.
Fuck.
Gentlemen,
I'm giving you Cable Henry.
Certified genius at birth.
Admitted to Mensa
by the age of seven.
Full ride scholarships
to Harvard, Yale, and MIT.
And he gave it all up
for a blood lust.
And I'm really glad that he did,
because he's able to use
his genius in other ways.
Like getting rich killing folk.
Cable Henry knows
at least a thousand ways
to kill a man
as painfully as possible.
I once saw him skin a man alive
with a plastic spoon.
And the spoon never broke.
Who else?
Uh, laundry, uh...
...bedroom upstairs.
Huh.
It's gonna,
it's gonna feel real.
Um, just...
I don't want them to get hurt.
Carrie, she's been with us
for ten years, and...
...Janine...
I need her.
J-- could he just scare them?
Just so hard, this part,
really, it's really hard.
Maybe you'll find a way
to justify it.
Say that it's Mary Sue's
drugged out ex-boyfriend
or somebody
who she owes money to,
or it could be that we kill
two birds with one stone here.
Eliminate Mary Sue,
and I also garner
the sympathy vote.
Janine must remain in the dark.
She always does.
My honest philosophy?
There are two kinds of people
in the world.
Some people assume control,
and some people...
are controlled.
Yes.
Oh, my God, no way!
Fuck yeah!
Just, just one second.
I, I gotta, I gotta go
to the bathroom first.
You know, I mean, I just wanna
freshen up, you know?
Not that I don't
appreciate the-- Okay.
Oh-- oh. Oh!
Yes, Daddy!
Fucking hell!
Do you know who my stepdad is?
Mm!
Mm!
Fucking what?
Do we have to do this
in front of my mom?
Unless you'd be into it.
I mean, I didn't really think
you liked this sort of thing,
but, hey,
I'm not one to kink shame.
Fucking Christ.
I'm really gonna enjoy this.
Make sure she suffers...
...the way I've suffered.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Go hard! Please!
Fuck, did Bradley get you off
fucking Craigslist or something?
No, no, fuck, no!
Do I need to show you?
Like this.
Oh, shit.
- Hello.
- Uh, Bradley?
Mary Sue. Are you okay?
I killed the hooker.
I'm telling you,
consent is BDSM 101,
and, and you're right,
it's fucked that
he didn't get your consent,
but he definitely had that
in mind when he was doing
your restraints.
-Could've slipped out
whenever you wanted.
-No, we weren't getting out.
- How did you even do that?
- Punch him so hard.
Oh, Bradley! Thank God!
Tell them the dude was here
-'cause you sent him for me.
-Oh-- Yeah, yeah. Uh,
God, yeah! I didn't send any--
I mean, that's preposterou--
I mean-- never do
such a thing, that's not--
H-- I'm--
thank God nobody got hurt!
By any chance,
did anyone call the police?
- We were
going to, but then--
- Nah, fuck the cops.
Honey, please talk
some sense into her!
I-- th-- they--
they'll know it was an accident!
-Self-defense!
-Do you mind? I'm--
-She's probably right.
-Well, listen, I-- I just
don't think we should make any
-rash decisions--
-Shouldn't--
Really, we have to think
about the campaign.
Yeah, come on. Fuck the pigs!
Are we sure about this? U--
W-- we need to know
that we are safe.
Yeah, we're safe, we're safe!
-Safe.
-Promise you, we're safe.
Oh, my God! What is happening?
Knox! Cable Henry is dead!
-There's gonna be hell to pay.
-No way. Cable Henry is
a legend.
This gotta happen tonight!
She cannot go
to the airport tomorrow.
Call the Steiners now.
I told you,
the Steiners have COVID.
But are they sick-sick,
or are they asymptomatic?
All right,
I'll make the call, okay?
I think they're close by,
but they're gonna want
- a lot more money.
- Pay them!
Bradley...
-...let me do it.
-You're my campaign manager.
-I can do it. You know I can.
-It's too risky.
I fucking hate her so much.
Well, stop it,
you're creeping me out.
-I didn't do--
-Oh, my God!
-What is happening?
-Is this part of the sex game?
-The what? The sex game?
-Huh?
Bradley, tell them. You bought
the hooker because you love me.
Wait. Oh, my God.
That guy wasn't a hooker,
was he?
- Shut the fuck
up...
- Oh, God!
- Now! Do not fucking move!
The Steiners.
Oh, my God, the Steiners.
Have them take us all hostage.
Plausible deniability.
I like it.
They're there for you.
And then,
after she's dealt with,
the brave senator
finally negotiates
a peaceful resolution.
- Six cousins,
a combined 18 tours of duty.
All they've ever known
is kill or be killed.
So why not keep killing?
Because their leader,
Chet Steiner,
is a monster.
Fuck!
These are our demands.
You resign from office
or we kill everyone.
We don't fucking play games.
I'll be back in ten minutes
for an answer.
- Oh!
- This is terrorism.
Oh, what are we gonna do?
I've given my life for service,
and this is the reward I get.
Bradley, I--
I think you need to...
...come up with one
of your brilliant speeches
and negotiate us out of this.
I mean-- but, I'm--
I-- Okay. Hmm. Uh--
All I ever wanted,
the poor and the sick,
the rich and powerful
to find, uh, harmony,
to find freedom,
to find a path
that they can blaze...
...um, to the future.
If only they knew my heart...
...yes. Yes, uh,
I don't even know, uh--
You're a man of such influence.
You, you give
so much of yourself,
and the fact that people
take that for granted,
-it's sickening!
-Yeah.
I owe everything to you.
From, from,
from partying
in Rio de Janeiro to,
to my art commissions
in Pyongyang to,
-to smoking crack
with the mayor of Toronto.
-Excuse me?
- I mean, not smoking crack
with the mayor of Toronto.
Yeah, Mary Sue,
about that whole rehab thing,
seriously, it wasn't me,
I didn't have-- uh--
-there was nothing about it--
-It's about everything.
You are not dropping out
of this race, Bradley.
You, you can't lose your voice.
You have far too many
beautiful things to say.
Beautiful words, phrases,
three word phrases that you
shower on those closest to you.
Uh...
...God bless America.
- Mm.
- Close. But maybe,
may-- maybe
if I prove it to you, huh?
Prove. Prove what?
-We fight!
-Oh, absolutely not.
- ...we stay
right here, we, we stall--
-we jump out of a window.
-Janine, no one's jumping
out of a window!
-Fuck!
-What do you mean, fight?
Uh, you know what?
I'll just resign.
No, they'll be fucking dead
before I let that happen,
Bradley, I promise you.
How do you suggest
that we fight?
They are trained,
they have machine guns!
I'm trained.
No, you're not.
But I have a 42% win rate
in solo Battle Royale, Mom!
- Come on!
- Can this really be?
All those years
I fought video games,
I championed the regulations,
and for good reason too.
The youth of America,
the pure, innocent youth
being turned
into heartless killers.
-I bet every terrorist
out there plays Fortnite.
-Yeah.
-That's why they're
so organized.
-No shit.
Mary Sue, this is not
a video game!
Mary Sue.
Listen to your mother.
Don't do it.
Do it. Do it.
Go on, do it, you stupid bitch!
Go out there, guns blazing.
If I drew a crayon picture
of us holding hands together,
would you even put it
on the refrigerator?
-Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
-I'm sure as hell!
So, what happens next?
Don't fucking know. Wait another
five minutes or so. Then go up.
Take care of the girl.
Discover the error of our ways.
Yeah. Well, that guy better have
a goddamn amazing monologue
to get us to surrender so fast.
It's the news headline he wants.
- Scott. Five minutes,
all right? Copy?
Copy.
Fuck! The girl is out.
Shoot her?
Shoot her!
Shoot her.
I'll suck your dick.
Wait. Seriously?
Shit!
Try spinning,
that's a good trick.
What the fuck?
Steiners are down.
I repeat, Steiners are down!
Oh, fuck,
forgot about the reload thingy.
Hey, guys,
how do you reload?
Oh! God-- Fuck.
Remember,
stealth is for pussies.
Hmm. Nice.
Shit!
Stop sweeping my fucking leg!
Something's wrong, Chet!
Something's wrong!
- Chet! Help! Help!
Somebody call 911!
It's stuck!
I need a Band-Aid,
somebody get me a Band-Aid!
Ricky! No!
Should leave this.
Shit!
Fuck!
- Hey, Paige.
- What up?
Isn't auto aiming the best?
You, like, barely even
have to try.
Yeah.
Heh.
Janine,
oh, my God. Is she here?
You know,
I'm starting to think
none of these guys
have even played Fortnite.
- Yo-- you gotta
let me do it, Bradley.
You know I'm your man,
I can do it. Please!
You're okay. Yeah. That's it.
Let it out.
Let it out. Yeah, let it out.
Let the poison out.
You gotta let me do it.
Let me do it.
- I'm your man.
- I'm your man. I can do it.
- I'm good.
- Yes. Yeah. Yeah.
Feeling better? Get it all out.
Yeah, there you go!
Get it out of there!
Get it out of there.
Man, Bradley's
really taking this hard.
-Poor guy.
-Mary Sue, what is going on?
W-- with what?
H-- how have you--
Like, the punching, the--
and the fighting? Shooting?
-Th--
-W-- what do you mean?
Did you kill all those people?
Yeah.
How?
-Huh?
-Huh?
-What?
-What?
-Uh? What?
-Huh? What?
What?
Time to call the police?
Uh--
Carrie, why do I feel
like nothing's adding up?
Everything tonight,
how it all unfolded,
the Russia thing.
What about the Russia thing?
It's just...
...I, um, I need to figure out
how much a gallon
of milk is over there.
Bradley would want me to know.
- Oh-- -You got it.
- It's all right.
Yeah. Okay. Okay.
-Oh, my--
-Okay. Oh, I got you.
- Yeah.
- I got you.
Are you-- you jonesing?
- Jonesing?
- Yeah.
You know,
you need a little puff-puff.
It's just, sometimes you need
to take the edge off a little.
You know, so you can...
...open up, talk about...
...our feelings...
...for one another.
Okay. Come on.
Okay, come on.
Well, listen...
if the Steiners couldn't handle it,
- I just don't know what to say.
- I need bigger!
I need your best!
No more bullshit, okay?
-No more bad recommendations.
-Senator, i-- it's not like--
it's not like I'm having
a birthday party
of assassins in my basement
where they're just
hanging around,
waiting to come
to your front door
every 20 minutes.
We were told you were the best.
- I am the best!
- Oh, bullshit!
You got less credibility
than a high school drug dealer
Nigerian prince, or one
of those spam phone callers,
-you know, with the,
with the car warranty guys.
-Yeah, who's the one
that found him, though, huh?
Who's the one that brought him
into our circle of trust?
Well, how was I supposed
to know, Bradley?
Yeah, you didn't know!
You don't know shit.
And now I'm 15 points
behind Anita in the polls!
-Listen, we are gonna win
this election, okay?
-How?
-You gotta trust me on this.
-How? Are you gonna kill her?
You bet I damn well
will kill her
if you just let me.
Oh, that-- Oh, my God!
You're such a failure!
-Failure?
-Yes!
...I'll do it!
-You hurt my feelings.
You hurt my feelings now.
-I feed you, I drive you around.
- ...terrible advisor!
- You don't understand me.
- Gentlemen, gentlemen.
- ...talking about?
- Another fucking fib!
- Gentlemen!
I didn't think it would
ever come to this again.
But I guess...
...drastic times
call for drastic measures.
He has been retired
for 20 years,
-I don't know, fuck me.
-Who?
He's not a savage...
like Cable Henry.
And he's not a tight fit,
like... well, like the Steiners.
But he has something
that they'll never have.
And I know he's available.
Okay. Well, who?
It isn't gonna be easy
to get him out of retirement.
It's gonna cost you
a pretty penny.
Oh, well, money is not
an issue, is it?
He's had many nicknames
in his time.
"The Blight of Man,"
"God's Chosen Butcher,"
"Death's Promise,"
"The Genius of Genocide,"
"The Maestro of Malevolence,"
"The Cancer of Creation."
He's not the Grim Reaper.
He's who the Grim Reaper
timidly asks for permission
to do his job.
An impeccable 100% success rate.
He's killed war generals,
untouchable billionaires,
regents of countries,
and under a dark cloud
of rogue influence,
he created an impact
on this world so deep
and so everlasting
that you'd think he was a god.
His weapon of choice?
A pair of pitch black
battle knives
that have cut the throats
of 10,000 men
across a half century of war.
He has a psychic connection
to them now.
- They speak to him.
They call his name...
...and they sing as he slays.
"Kill, kill, kill."
And his retirement
was a true pity.
It was only because he was
so pathetically unchallenged.
And alas, this dragon longed
for a worthy enemy
- to finally raise him
from his slumber once more.
- That's
what I'm talking about! Yeah!
- Yeah.
And how do I know so much about
this awful, awful man, you ask?
Because it's me.
What's for dinner?
Huh?
Oh, fuck!
Please,
don't hit me again.
Okay? Look, I'm hurt.
I mean, I'm hurt.
I just wanna go home.
I want my mother.
Ma! Ma!
Ma! Ma!
Okay, so, how do you,
uh, wanna approach this?
Well, we got him alive,
let's make him talk.
- All right, uh,
who, who sent you?
Uh, you guys,
um, thi-- this just,
just isn't right, you know?
-This guy's a human being too.
-He came with knives.
Yeah, and whoever sent him
definitely sent the other guys.
So, somebody's up to something.
Uh, yeah, you're right!
I don't know who would try
and harm my babies!
Yeah, your fucking babies.
All right, listen up, douchebag.
Who fucking sent you, huh?
For real,
this is a fucking interrogation.
- Spill it! Now! Come on!
- Yeah!
Start talking,
- asshole! Give us a name!
- Come on!
Who gave you--
Is it someone we know?
- If you don't start talking,
I start blasting! All right?
- Ten, nine...
- ...whoa!
...eight, seven, six...
...five, four,
three, motherfucker!
Okay!
It's a goddamn campaign tactic.
All the assassins
hired by the campaign
to fucking kill you.
They needed you dead.
I can explain.
There's nothing left
to explain, Bradley.
- Y-- you see--
- That bitch!
-Bitch?
-Yeah, you just
fucking heard the guy!
It's a campaign tactic?
Hello! Anita Koch,
your Senate opponent?
- Yeah! I mean, yeah!
I know, you're so right!
- That fucking bitch!
Yeah. Her! Fucking s-- can--
can-- Senate candidate.
Awful, corrupt, evil bitch!
-I don't know
if that makes sense.
-Yeah, it makes sense, Janine.
She thinks I'm a liability!
I'm gaining influence.
I got a job.
-Fucking bananas to sell.
-Yeah, you're gonna sell
the shit out of those
goddamn bananas, baby girl.
Quarterly banana profits
going through the fucking roof!
-That's what she's afraid of.
-Yeah. You know
what else she's afraid of?
She's afraid of how much I love
U--SA traditional values,
hard work, and good opportunity
for all Americans.
-I'm gonna call her.
-You're gonna do what?
I got her number when I stole
your phone last month--
I-- I mean, borrowed your phone.
Um...
Oh, hello, whore!
Thought you could
pull a fast one, huh?
That's a dirty
fucking trick, bitch!
The fucking assassins, huh?
Does that ring a bell, Anita?
Who the fuck
do you think it is, huh?
Mary Sue Harper? Heiress
to the Russian banana empire?
Yeah, Bradley's here.
Uh, no, he does not
wanna talk to you, slut.
No, no, no,
you fucking listen to me, okay?
We're coming for you, all right?
So you should, you should be
fucking scared shitless,
all right?
Because I'm going
to cunt-punt you
into next fucking Tuesday, okay?
You're fucking dead!
So choke
on my fucking bananas, bitch!
-I'm gonna take this outside.
-Yeah, you do, you do you.
Anita. Anita!
Ho-- how are things?
Why did I just get a call
from your stepdaughter
at 1:00 in the morning saying
she was coming to kill me?
What? I-- I mean, what?
She said you were with her.
Huh-- No, hold on. I'm, um,
here, uh, at the, uh,
campaign office. Yeah.
Um, boy, I gotta tell you,
you know what I mean?
You really raked me over
the coals with that last poll,
so I have to, uh,
work, um, overtime.
Double time.
I'm here at my campaign office.
Well, is she
at the campaign office too?
Uh, Mary Sue.
Uh...
uh, frankly, I barely know what she's up to.
Threatening to kill me!
Uh, yeah--
well, no, I'm, uh,
at my campaign office.
Yeah, you really raked me over
the coals with that last poll.
Bradley,
don't you find this odd?
She's a drug addict, Anita.
She threatens
to kill me all the time.
Nothing to worry about.
Well, I'm gonna call the police.
- Oh, well, I mean, I guess
you can if you want...
...but I don't really understand
how it makes any, uh...
...sense.
Uh... the, uh...
Uh, Bradley, is something wrong?
-No.
-The tone of your voice
does not seem--
Yeah, long night. Yeah.
Long night, um, in the coals,
um, raking over
my campaign office, yeah.
Yeah.
Uh, yeah,
Anita, let me just have you--
hold on just for one moment.
Uh, yeah. Just be two
easy breezy minutes here.
Huh. Vladyslav!
- My friend.
- Senator Weiner.
Quick question. Eh--
Why is Kremlin calling Vladyslav
about the assassins at doorstep?
The Kremlin?
You're alive, that's good.
Uh, what about girl?
Uh, uh, who? Um--
-Mary Sue?
-Oh, yes. Girl.
She's very important
to business.
Very important to banana farm.
I believe you know.
Crop yield down,
banana export in trouble.
- You don't want Vladyslav
in trouble, do you?
- No, never.
And you would never betray
Vladyslav's trust, would you?
Um, no need. Um, no, not at all.
Good. Because
I was starting to worry
about my business decisions.
Never.
- N-- no.
- Good. 'Cause that would
hurt my feelings.
Oh! You know, you Americans,
- do you-- you think
that you can govern anything?
- No. Untouchable.
- Us Americans.
I know, i--
But, uh, even
the most powerful man
can be punched.
I mean, I know because I have,
uh, people everywhere.
Look behind you.
I just kid.
All right,
so I will get girl tomorrow.
Well then, go ahead
and keep her.
I'm just kidding, seriously!
Uh, yeah, it's been, uh,
an honor to, um, collude.
What a dick.
Okay, Vladys.
Bradley, what--
Ah... what?
Why did you merge me
onto that call?
What? Oh, shit!
Uh--
They don't grow bananas
in Russia.
What are you talking about?
That was the single
strangest phone call of my life.
I got to call
my campaign manager.
-The Kremlin. The Kremlin!
The Kremlin.
-What? Who?
They're watching,
they're outside.
- Who?
- Yeah.
Do not fuck with Vladyslav!
Do you-- do you
understand me, Mary Sue?
And you're actually
going tomorrow.
This time, I'm serious.
What do you mean, you're
serious about it this time?
Why don't you just concentrate
on milk prices, please?
-Organic!
-4.84.
-Skim!
-It's 3.79!
-Chocolate!
-Ch-- uh, um--
- Chocolate!
- Uh-- Shit!
- All right, listen,
Bradley, there's gotta be
a logical explanation for,
for, you know,
wha-- whatever this is
that's going on, and--
What are you talking
about people outside?
You mean, like, people
who are trying to come in?
Yeah.
-Kremlin.
-Kremlin?
Gremlins?
- I--
I think that's you.
Oh, shit. Paige. Y-- Hi, yes.
D-- duh. I'm, I'm sor--
I'm coming right over.
-Oh.
-What the fuck?
God, I'm so dumb.
I called Paige and told her
to bring a bunch of people over.
You know,
back when the hooker was here.
Fuck. Girl, he wasn't a hooker.
There was never
gonna be a sex party.
I'm so sorry
I didn't text you back.
I just kind of got
caught up with all
the assassination attempts.
Wait, mm, what was all that?
Literally, I told him
I would suck his dick,
and then I fucking shot his ass.
It was crazy!
God, you had to be there.
So, yeah.
Now we gotta go rain hellfire
on the bitch
he's running against.
Do you guys wanna come?
It's actually not that hard
to kill people, apparently.
And we need a big send off
before I leave, yeah?
You guys down? Cool beans?
How did you not know
that Russia was spying on us?
- How was I supposed to know?
- Wes!
If Mary Sue
doesn't go to Russia,
Vladyslav's gonna bury my ass.
And if she does go to Russia,
then Anita's gonna bury my ass.
What did you say?
What did she overhear?
Did you tip her off?
Oh, fuck! Bradley!
She's gonna send press
to the airport!
It's gonna be in the newspapers.
It's gonna say, "Senator Weiner
took a pay-or-play deal."
It's gonna be
all over the place!
You think 15 points back is bad?
Try 30. Try 40! You're burning
this goddamn election
into the fucking ground.
Wes, get out!
You killed this campaign.
You were in command
of the whole thing.
Oh. Oh, you, you think
you're firing me?
-Is that it?
-Yeah, get the fuck
out of my house!
We can have a discussion about
your future at a later date.
Uh, uh, Carrie!
-You're making a big mistake.
-Carrie, get in here!
You are. I know things.
I know everything.
I know you, I know secrets.
And I've been loyal!
It's because of me you got here.
Now, listen, I can-- Look.
If you want me to,
I can go ahead and kill her.
Carrie, will you see Wes out
immediately, please?
Really?
Watching me.
How long were they watching?
This is a fucking nightmare.
Fucking hell. How?
-Senator?
-Not now!
Bradley.
You are backbone
of this federation.
You are bear.
You have no fear, no hesitation.
- You have only loyalty
to the Motherland.
- You will be
in peak physical condition.
You will feel no pain.
-Lie.
-I love America.
- There will be
no skill, however deadly,
you will not master.
-Lie!
-I love America!
- Your enemies
will flee with fear...
...or lay to waste
on battlefield
- with only their own
insolence to blame.
Lie!
I love America!
You will assimilate
into American society,
marry, obtain employment,
live double life...
- ...gain access
to people with influence.
- Gather information
of extreme sensitivity,
send back to Moscow.
Your American life is a lie.
- Your friends are your enemies,
your employers, your enslavers.
- Treat them like dogs
on battlefield.
Be pride of your Motherland.
Huh--
You know, I'm starting to think
none of these guys have even
played Fortnite.
Carrie, she's been
with us for ten years.
- Don't make me regret
buying American.
- Uh--
Senior KGB intelligence officer,
Svetlana Belski,
hero of the Russian Federation.
Order of Saint George,
defender of a free Russia.
- You are
like girl, you see,
spinning web of lies too vast
for your own brain
to comprehend.
- It renders you
unable to function. Like girl.
What is difference
between you and her?
A pipe for lie compounded
through an addiction to power.
No. I'm-- I'm not--
I'm not like-- I'm not like her.
You think you are in control
simply because
you can give orders?
It's--
it's-- just that--
Are you gonna kill me?
What I see is cry for help.
I see desperation.
I see dog.
Can you--
can you fix this?
- You want girl dead?
- Yeah!
You want Vladyslav off back?
You want campaign victory?
All are still possible.
Do you-- uh,
do you work for Vlad?
We have mutual friends.
But I represent
bigger interests.
I just can't--
- Can you just tell-- tell me what...
- what I can do or say or pledge?
-Loyalty.
-Oh.
Animals like Mary Sue
survive and thrive on chaos.
It is only way they can survive,
and you feed her.
You must strike girl
in only place
where her weakness lies.
Oh!
You want some? Sorry.
Hey, you're my guest!
You go first.
Oh, more for me.
Mom, hi! Knock much?
I actually told her to come up.
Right.
Uh, so, so,
so is Bradley ready to go?
'Cause we're, we're all eager
to go to Anita's house
and fuck shit up, aren't we?
Or we can,
I guess, just chill.
What the fuck is up
with you guys?
We didn't come here tonight
for the BDSM.
I mean, we did come
for the BDSM,
-but then, after that--
-This needed to happen
before you left home.
So you recruited
my friends into this too?
She didn't recruit anyone.
This conversation
was all of our idea.
Conversation about what?
If I had a problem,
I think I'd know.
Plus, I don't need anything
that I don't already have, okay?
I'm, I'm happy, I'm alive,
I'm taken care of by,
by, by Bradley, okay?
Bradley takes care of me!
Mary Sue, you can't go a day
without that pipe.
You're always late.
You're never motivated.
-It's a stranglehold.
-Okay, I just killed,
like, a bunch of people
to save my family, okay?
I'm, I'm better!
All right? I'm stronger!
And one day soon,
it's gonna catch up with you.
I have seen it happen before.
I love you.
- We love you, Mary Sue.
- Yeah!
We love you, Mary Sue.
O-- okay. Whe-- wh-- where,
where's Bradley, all right?
Because if this were
the right thing to do,
Bradley would be here too.
Bradley, he's--
Yeah. Busy with the campaign?
I know, 'cause he's got
a fucking plan.
-You think he gives
two shits about you?
-He, he's the reason
that I'm going to fucking
Russia tomorrow, okay?
With, with pride for him!
And, and I'm gonna be
growing fucking bananas
because Bradley knows--
You just-- what is it you think
that Bradley feels about you?
He's never even told me
he loves me.
His own wife.
I'm a political token, a--
a puppet who screwed up one time
in front of the camera,
and now I have to memorize
milk prices
until the end of time.
I used to be young and free,
just like you.
More free, actually.
But... it's too late for me.
But for you--
Free?
I'm as free
as I need to be, okay?
My real dad, remember him?
'Cause I barely fucking do.
He was free to do
whatever the fuck he wanted,
and look what happened to him.
Why would I be
any different, huh?
If he had a Bradley in his life,
he would still be here.
You don't
really think that, do you?
Everything tonight,
the break-ins,
the killers.
It's not Anita,
it doesn't add up.
I don't even think
that I can admit out loud
who I think it really was.
Hey, everybody.
I just want you to know,
if I haven't said it yet
today...
...I love you, sugar plum.
See? Bradley takes care of me.
Yeah. Okay, yeah.
Yeah. I-- I did the,
uh, with the, uh--
You have nothing left to do.
You go rest.
Take comfort in victory.
I will bring girl to plane,
I will placate her anxieties,
I will be friend
in dark places...
...and then she will be no more.
How can I rest?
What about the dead bodies
down in the living room?
I am housekeeper.
I will take care.
- Okay, but--
what about Janine, my family?
- The authorities?
- -Housekeeper will take care.
Media?
Housekeeper will take care.
We need
professional photographers
to catch everything on film.
-Right, but it's
gonna be dangerous.
-D-- Bodyguard.
Uh, of course, bodyguards.
And they're gonna be
armed and ready.
Guess who's gonna take you
to the airport?
Gonna see you off
on your big adventure.
- Carrie! I knew
you'd understand.
Look, just keep
that girl away from us, okay?
-She's a psycho.
-She ain't touching nobody.
Janine, give me the milk.
I'll get the bag.
- You can get going.
- Are you sure?
You drive the senator
and his family,
not the housekeeper.
- I'll Uber.
- Okay.
You really see how vodka...
Hello! Oh, nobody prepared me
for senator's stepdaughter
to be so beautiful.
The plane will arrive
in 30 minutes.
We will fuel, and then into sky.
You like cocktails?
We have on board.
What the hell?
-Carrie?
-Yeah.
T-- the ticket.
Ticket?
Th-- the one
that Bradley gave me?
It was for an airline.
No. This is where
he told me to take you.
He said the Russians were
flying you out private.
No. No, no.
It, it was for an airline.
Are you questioning Bradley?
No. I just--
- I, I actually have the ticket in my bag.
- -Careful.
Don't let them see
what's inside.
I packed you something,
but you need to use it
before you get on the plane.
You don't want another scandal
for his campaign, do you?
Russian drug laws and all.
Y--
you put that in my bag?
Just go into the restroom
and check the front pocket.
Consider it
a special parting gift.
Not from your housekeeper,
but from a friend.
Who do you think facilitated
her habits when you were away?
Cleaned up her messes,
kept her dependent?
She will not leave
hanger bathroom alive.
Drug will be laced
with ten times lethal dose
of fentanyl.
Her body will shut down
60 seconds after inhalation.
Oh, Mary Sue, I didn't--
um, I didn't expect
to hear from you.
Why not?
Well...
because, well, I-- well,
I thought you'd be on the plane.
Carrie took me
to the wrong airport,
some weird place
in the middle of the woods.
-Well, did she now?
-I think so.
A-- actually, I don't know.
I'm, I'm confused.
Don't be. Listen to Carrie.
I'm, I'm flying private?
You were always flying private.
Just do as Carrie says.
Then everything
will be over. I promise.
Bradley...
...last night,
Mom told me something,
something about you.
- Hmm. Really?
- That's interesting.
And I wanted to know
if it's true or not.
Here's what's true...
...okay, Mary Sue?
What's true is that I love you.
I love you.
I'll always love you.
I mean, I'm not Bradley.
I'm Dad.
Dad.
Now, enjoy the gift from Carrie.
Wait five minutes,
then clear out bathroom.
Leave bags with me.
- Take body into forest.
- -We have place in mind already.
Drag her out to--
Who the fuck?
Get him now!
-Oh! Oh, oh, shit. Oh, shit.
-Come on, come on!
No, no, shit, shit. No, no.
Shit. No, no, no-- Hey. Hey.
Oh, no, no. No,
hey, hey, hey, hey, guys.
Hey! Hey, hey, guys,
hey, hey, how are you?
All right. Hiya.
Carrie! Hi!
Wes. What are you doing here?
I-- I w-- I wanted
to just check on Mary Sue,
you know,
with the long flight and all.
Man, you ruined the shot!
You're gonna ruin us all!
- Hold on now. Back up.
- Who are you?
This is private property.
Everyone.
State your business, now!
All right, fuck it. I'll say it.
I'm here to shoot the girl.
No, wait a minute.
We're here to shoot the girl.
-Yet, there will be no shooting.
-She's already been shot.
-Really?
-I did not see girl get shot.
-In the cloud.
-Wait, she's
on the plane already?
There is no plane.
Well, then how
is she in the cloud?
-The shot is in the cloud.
-The bullet?
Wait, wait-- Carrie,
why do you have
a Russian accent
all of a sudden?
It appears,
despite our differences,
we are all here
on similar mission.
The girl, she is to die.
-Die?
-In fact, she is already dead.
Mary Sue Harper is
dead in that bathroom?
I'll believe that when I see it.
Give me my gun back!
Mary Sue!
Why does he have a gun?
To shoot the girl?
Like you said.
No, no, don't shoot!
You didn't take the drugs?
The drugs took me.
D-- j-- just-- ah--
Did you come to America?
Yes. Eh, Vladyslav was worried.
Y-- ah, yeah.
Uh, yeah. In fact,
uh, the housekeeper just took
Mary Sue to the airport
-about an hour ago.
-No, uh, housekeeper dead.
What? 'Cause--
- Are you
going to kill us?
- What? No. Don't be crazy--
Shut up, Bradley! God!
Are you?
Come on, don't be craze,
huh?
No, asset will do that herself.
-Uh, asset?
-Yeah.
-Mary Sue?
-I mean, what did you think
Vladyslav would do
with girl, hmm?
All those months,
hidden on a banana farm.
What, do you think
that she was running the empire?
No!
I create asset, I create weapon,
I create monster.
A drug-addled brain
is a pile of mush, like sponge,
- perfect for shaping
into any form.
Her skills and instincts are now
second nature, but hidden,
ready to answer
Vladyslav's call,
helpless to disobey.
And with the right trigger,
her psychosis was
easy to obtain.
Trigger?
What trigger?
A totem.
Uh, something of vast
emotional significance,
something that she carries
with her wherever she travels.
This is how one
truly gains power.
- Take your subject's
emotional weakness...
...and box them in with it,
a prison of her own mind.
This key, held by Vladyslav.
Ah, Senator, I want
to thank you for the opportunity
that you handed to me
on a silver platter.
And the girl, she gave me
ultimate leverage,
all against you,
against your country,
and against anyone
who tries to defy Vladyslav.
It's just such a shame
to have to do this to you
after years of trust.
But, yes, you have
broken our arrangement.
Girl can fulfill
her final purpose.
Control.
It is all about control.
I mean, okay, yeah, but, like,
- what if I wanna be
in control...
-...of myself for once?
-Shit.
No, no.
Vladyslav's brainwash
cannot be undone.
-Looks a bit undone.
-No, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
As long as she
still values totem,
she will never be free.
Oh, the picture.
Yeah, picture's gone.
You really wanna box me
into my emotional weaknesses?
Try a gigolo in some tight
leather pants next time.
Oh, go!
Fuck that!
Oh!
Mary Sue!
God! Amazing job, I just--
I knew you'd come through
for me again.
Yeah. About that.
- Uh, no, no,
don't shoot, please!
Uh, Janine, do something,
talk to her! She's yours. Um--
I love you.
I agree with her.
Fuck that!
All this time,
the vice, the real vice?
It wasn't just the drugs,
it wasn't them.
It was you, Bradley.
It was always you.
Fuck off, Mary Sue.
What the fuck?
You think you're so big
you can supersede
your true superiors?
You stupid little child!
What the fuck!
You can't outsmart me.
You can't outrun me.
You cannot rule over me!
You are not invincible!
You cannot kill God!
What the fuck! Oh, my God!
Did-- did ya--
What?
O-- oh!
- Why--
What do you think?
- Should we do it?
- I-- just--
-How c--
-If you don't, um...
- No. no.
- ...there's plenty
of others who will.
Other Vladyslavs
around the world
who will gladly discard him
with the trash,
now that he's on his way out.
What now?
I don't know.
Check me in somewhere?
You're still going?
Maybe not all the way
in Russia, but...
...I've had my body and mind
fucked with for far too long.
A break would be nice.
I'm proud of you,
following through on this,
even though I'm sure
you just wanna
run away screaming.
You keep kicking ass,
Mary Sue, you got that?
Let me go get the car.
Goodbye, Bradley.
Tragic news today
out of our nation's capital.
At the age of 65,
Senator Bradley Weiner,
the beloved politician who gave
a voice to a generation
and who was, of course,
a longtime friend
of the Clintons,
has committed suicide
via two gunshots
to the back of his head.
- The president is
preparing a statement
- and is reported to deliver...
- -Hey, honey, did you see this?
I've been inundated. Holy shit!
I'm having my manager
prepare a statement
to be released within the hour.
Well, I guess you know
what this means
for the campaign.
Oh, I'm well aware.
I even have
some bigger dirt to boot.
And that goddamn Jeremy?
He's there playing video games,
you know, all day long
again, hibernating in his room.
Trash everywhere.
Goddamn room
smells like marijuana.
Oh, I-- can you, uh, go tell him
to come down and spend
some family time?
-Of course.
-Aha! Gotcha.
- Stupid little kid.
- Stop fucking camping so much.
Oh, I suck?
Ask your mom who really sucks.
-Jeremy.
Dinner will be ready soon.
-Get out of my room! God!
- Hey, house lady.
- You got my stuff?
Yeah.