KillTonyMania (2026) Movie Script

-[crowd cheering]
-[upbeat music playing]
[dramatic jazzy music plays]
Hey, this is Redban!
Coming to you live
from Dolby Live at Park MGM
in Las Vegas, Nevada!
For a brand new episode of Kill Tony,
give it up for Tony Hinchcliffe!
-[crowd cheering, applauding]
-[upbeat jazzy music playing]
Who's ready for the best
fucking night of their lives, huh?
[crowd cheering]
-Yippee!
-[crowd cheering]
Brian Redban, ladies and gentlemen.
The best damn band
in all the land, everybody!
[crowd cheering]
WrestleMania Weekend, Las Vegas,
who's with me, huh?
Oh, we are gonna have
some damn fun tonight.
How about one more time
for the WWE, Netflix,
putting this thing on?
[crowd cheering]
It is a first of its kind event.
We are so excited,
so let's just get the party started, huh?
Ladies and gentlemen,
your first guest tonight,
one of the best comedians in the world.
His new special is on Netflix,
Take a Banana for the Ride.
He will be doing The Roast
of Kevin Hart live on May 10th,
one of the greatest
joke smiths in the world,
one of the greatest comedians
on planet Earth,
a best friend, a mentor,
make some noise for the great and powerful
Jeffrey Ross, everybody!
-[upbeat jazzy music playing]
-[crowd cheering, applauding]
[Tony] Yeah!
The roast master general has arrived
to the WWE Universe!
Hell yeah!
Jeffrey Ross, everybody!
Let's go!
We're just gonna keep it moving along.
Ladies and gentlemen,
your second guest tonight,
-joining us live here.
-["Rest In Peace" playing]
[crowd cheering, applauding]
[Tony laughs]
[crowd cheering, applauding]
[Tony] The Undertaker,
ladies and gentlemen!
Fuck yeah!
Doesn't get any fucking cooler
than this, people.
This is Kill Tony at WrestleMania!
Welcome to Kill Tony Mania!
[crowd cheering]
Oh my God.
-[laughs]
-[crowd cheering]
I must have
left my dressing room door open.
[laughs]
-Who farted? What the fuck?
-[crowd chanting "Holy shit"]
This is the first true "holy shit" chant
in the history of Kill Tony.
Much deserved.
Make some noise one more time
for The Undertaker and Jeff Ross.
[crowd cheering, applauding]
[Tony] Hell yeah.
We are just getting
the party started, everybody.
This is unbelievable.
Jeffrey Ross, like I said,
the newest special on Netflix,
Take a Banana for the Ride.
You're going live
on Mother's Day, May 10th,
with The Roast of Kevin Hart.
Tony How many people
think Tony should return
and come back and roast Kevin Hart?
[crowd cheering, applauding]
[Jeff] Tony, you gotta do it, brother.
I'm asking you to do it.
On behalf of Kevin and Netflix
and me and everybody,
you gotta fucking come back
and tear that little motherfucker
a new asshole.
-May 10th.
-Let's make it official right now.
I'm on it, May 10th, representing you,
the Kill Tony Universe, again.
We crushed Tom Brady.
We're gonna double down
and go even harder on Kevin Hart.
We're gonna shoot him out of a cannon.
[laughs]
I love it.
The Undertaker is here, everybody.
His hit podcast Six Feet Underground
with The Undertaker.
Six Feet Under.
Six Feet Under.
[crowd laughing]
Six Feet Under with The Undertaker.
I should have known that.
I've done the show.
All your favorite comedians
have done this show.
All your favorite wrestlers have done it.
Make sure you check it out. It is amazing.
Undertaker, this is
your first time on the show.
I'm sure you kinda know what goes on,
but I'm gonna explain it.
About 200 comedians signed up earlier
for the chance to be pulled
out of this bucket.
If their name gets pulled,
they get 60 seconds uninterrupted.
You know their time is up
when you hear the sound of a kitten.
-[cat meows]
-That means they have to wrap it up then.
Or else they bring out
the angry West Hollywood bear
[bear growls]
which interrupts their set.
I conduct an interview.
We find out more about them.
The whole thing's improvised.
Anything can happen.
Are you guys ready
to start tonight's show?
[crowd cheering, applauding]
Well, we're gonna start it with a bang,
'cause this is
the first-ever Kill Tony Mania.
Let's start it
with the Kill Tony Hall of Famer
with the most appearances ever
in the history of the show.
The most interviews
in the history of the show.
Opening tonight's show,
the Big Red Machine, ladies and gentlemen,
the Vanilla Gorilla,
the Memphis Strangler,
this is William Montgomery!
-[upbeat jazzy music playing]
-[crowd cheering, applauding]
-[music concludes]
-[crowd cheering, applauding]
Redban!
This summer at Bash at the Beach,
me and "Mean" Gene Okerlund
are gonna tag team
your mom!
[crowd cheering, applauding]
I love how The Undertaker's manager
was named Paul Bearer.
If I were a wrestler,
my manager's name
would be Robin William Blind.
[crowd laughing]
Okay, let's keep moving. Fuck.
[crowd laughing]
Remember when Redban's mom
used to wrestle?
I think her name was Yokozuna.
No, but seriously,
if I were a professional wrestler,
my manager's name would be Willy.
Willy Baddett booking me
at any decent comedy clubs.
Okay. [chuckles]
If I were a wrestler,
my finishing move would be
putting jet fuel in my mouth
and spitting out flames.
But then Alex Jones said
that jet fuel can't melt steel chairs.
Okay, that's my time, Tony!
[chuckling] William Montgomery,
what is going on?
Tony, my name is Nectar.
[Tony] That's your character?
-Nectar.
-[Tony] Why is it Nectar?
Nectar? Hardly knew her.
Okay. [laughs]
Oh my God.
That's because it's my name!
So I can set myself up for that one, Tony!
-[chuckles]
-[drum snare]
[William] But so nice to be here.
Tony, I don't know if you knew this,
but I've kind of been going through it
over the past couple of weeks.
And actually, yesterday, I got a call
from my sweet brother, Selden.
And he's like,
"William, is everything okay?"
And I said, "Why do you ask?
Yeah, I'm okay."
And he said, "Oh, there's an ambulance
right in front of your apartment
and four police cars."
And I go out there to go get some ZYNs.
And I talked
to one of the police officers,
and he's like,
"Yeah, you're not in danger. Don't worry."
I asked if everything was okay.
So now I realized it was my neighbor
got murdered or died.
So Tony, last night
I'm in my bedroom thinking,
"My God, I wonder
if ghosts go through the walls."
Because it's a very thin wall.
["Toccata and fugue" plays, stops]
[William] It's a very thin wall
I'm working with, Tony.
I got to tell you,
it looks like you have a ghost
in your underpants there, William.
There is a zombie.
Tony.
Yeah, don't zoom in on that.
I actually took a little Adderall earlier,
and that's why
my penis looks like this, so
[crowd laughing]
-Yikes.
-Jeff Ross.
William, you're here at WrestleMania,
but your dick is still at Coachella.
-[laughs]
-[crowd laughing]
Okay, let's keep moving, Tony.
What's going on? [chuckles]
[Undertaker]
That's what we call a foreign object.
-[laughs]
-[crowd laughing]
He's got something in his tights.
I think he's wrestling with his sexuality.
[crowd laughing]
Yeah, I did get this
on a homosexual website,
um, so that would make sense.
Killtony.com.
-[laughs]
-[crowd laughing]
Kill Tony, yeah--
Let's go, motherfuckers!
[Tony] Oh yeah.
[Jeff] What a crowd, Tony.
What a crowd. What a way to kick it off.
[Tony] The best fans in the world,
the crossover, the WWE Universe
and the Kill Tony Universe.
Thank you for taking me
to WrestleMania today.
That was really fun, man.
Yeah, that was so much fun.
We watched some people go
through the Spanish announce table.
It was so exciting.
William, I've never seen that tattoo
before on your thigh.
-What is that?
-Which one?
I got a baby Taz with a cowboy hat.
I also have a geisha Stimpy
that I'm most proud of.
And then a Foghorn Leghorn,
Speedy Gonzales,
some different little characters I have.
Your balls to dick ratio
is absolutely incredible.
It looks like
Wait, is that a good thing
or a bad thing?
See, I was trying to mess with my penis
before I came out here
to try to make it bigger,
but it wasn't working.
It appears to be mostly balls.
That's not balls. That's his dick.
It appears to be mostly balls
and a little nub resting ever so slightly.
An acorn.
[William] Yeah, well, Redban's mom
loves my fucking balls
'cause she fucking chokes
on them, so yeah,
they are kind of big,
but her mouth is kind of small
'cause she's an old lady, but
[Tony] It does.
It looks like there's a baby
bird hanging by [chuckles]
sitting on a beanbag of some kind
inside of your singlet.
[Redban] Fell out of the nest.
Yeah, out of a nest.
Well, if anybody wants
to find me after the show,
I will be having sex
with people right backstage.
-[Redban] Oh.
-So if you're interested at all, uh
I'm kidding.
I've only had sex once in two years,
so let's keep it moving, Tony.
[Tony] Hell yeah.
William, we love you.
What else is going on?
You excited about WrestleMania Weekend?
Really excited. I wasn't able to go today.
I guess my phone wasn't on
when you called me asking
about the tickets.
-[Tony] Yeah.
-So I was, uh
Yeah, just hanging out.
But, Tony, I do want to be very
serious here for a second.
My best friend in Memphis,
a guy named Alex Rayner,
was tragically murdered
in Denver, Colorado this past Thursday.
So I want to give a real quick shout-out
to sweet Alex Rayner.
-So I've been dealing with a bunch of
-[airhorn blaring]
Yeah, Redban,
not fucking with that, dumbass!
-[laughs]
-I'm not kidding!
He was my best friend, you idiot!
-[Tony] Why are you getting--
-You wouldn't even know that!
You don't have any friends, dumbass!
-[laughs]
-[guitar riff]
You wouldn't even know
what it's like to have a friend, idiot!
-[drum snare]
-[guitar riff]
When you're talking
about your murdered friend,
you got slightly harder.
[crowd laughing]
It's so blatantly visible.
This giant red dong of yours
is absolutely incredible.
Yeah, well, I get hard when I think
about the dead sometimes, Tony, so
That's not a good thing, but
No better way
to get tonight's show started.
[William chuckling] Yeah.
Nice to be here, Tony!
We love you, William.
Thanks for getting it started for us.
The great William Montgomery.
And it has begun, everybody.
-[upbeat jazzy music playing]
-[crowd cheering, applauding]
We are going
to our first bucket pull, everyone.
How about this?
They're gonna come out
and see Jeff Ross and The Undertaker
and be shocked.
So, our first bucket pull of the night,
ladies and gentlemen.
[crowd laughing]
This looks like an interesting name.
Make some noise for Red Dawn,
Red Goddess of Love.
Can't even make it up.
[upbeat jazzy music playing]
[Tony] Red Dawn, Red Goddess of Love.
Oh, hey.
[music concludes]
Hey, I don't give a fuck
if you get off on my set or not tonight,
'cause all of you and you
make sure I get off later tonight
and the rest of my life.
God made this pussy on the eighth day.
[crowd laughing]
That's right.
He said, "World, this is good,
but you need to be wetter."
[crowd laughing, cheering]
That's right. My pussy is so divine,
when God commissioned the Sistine Chapel,
he was reaching out to finger my pussy.
[crowd laughing]
That's right,
but the Catholic Church said no.
But who do they come to for holy water?
Me.
Relax. I've blessed this whole stadium.
That's right.
Another reason I know my pussy
is so divine is-- Oh, why?
-Because it can turn water into wine.
-[cat meows]
And you know how I know this?
Because my ex-husband
and my current boyfriend are alcoholics.
But they only drink top shelf.
My name's Red Dawn,
the crack you want to wake up to.
-[crowd cheering, applauding]
-Wow.
What an interesting creature
we've discovered.
Red Dawn.
Welcome.
Somebody nail this bitch to a cross.
[Tony laughs]
Wow.
What a wild little beast you are, huh?
Look at you, you horny little church lady.
Oh yes.
Take me home so I can yell, "Oh God!"
[Tony laughs]
Oh my God.
I just came a little bit, I think.
-[laughs]
-[crowd laughing]
Oh my goodness.
Red Dawn, how long
have you been doing stand-up?
[Red Dawn] Oh man.
Do you want to know in years or hours?
How about centuries?
[Red Dawn] One.
-Ten years.
-[Tony] Okay.
-All of it here in Las Vegas?
-About 40 hours.
Las Vegas and the Midwest.
Okay.
-[Red Dawn] Nebraska.
-Hell yeah.
The Midwest.
Your pussy probably looks
like the Middle East.
-[crowd laughing]
-[Tony laughs]
As long as you hit me in the middle.
Oh my goodness.
Wow.
I can't tell whether she's wet or dry.
This is incredible.
You're like a mirage
or something like that.
-Oh, she's wet.
-[laughs]
I'm so excited.
-I know.
-This is the real deal. You're in it.
And I mean, you're built for comedy.
You literally look
like every character
in Beetlejuice put together.
I [chuckles] I didn't hear you.
-I'm sorry.
-[Tony] It's perfect.
I'm not surprised.
Your ears work as good
as your pussy does, probably.
[laughs]
They don't need to hear down there.
-So
-[Tony] I love it. What do you do for fun?
Do you have any other
special skills or talents?
[Red Dawn] Um
Yeah, but I can't say here.
Got it. You're a little
one trick pony over here.
-That's what I'm noticing.
-[Red Dawn] No, I
It's from the coma, I think.
[Tony] You got in a coma?
How'd you end up in a coma?
I got T-boned
by a semi in my Volkswagen.
-[Tony] Oh my God.
-And I was in a coma for a week.
[Tony] Wow. Okay.
Did you have all these pussy jokes
before or did you wake up
Um, no. It started
after the coma, actually.
[Tony] Amazing.
I've been very heightened sexually
after the coma.
[Tony] Wow. Interesting.
Very interesting.
It is. My son did
a bunch of research on it.
I bet he did.
Ew. From behind?
-Redban.
-[Red Dawn] No!
-I love it.
-It cracked me up.
Yeah, Jeff Ross.
Tony, I don't know.
People can boo if they're
But I think you're fucking
There's something very special about you.
-[Red Dawn] Well, thank you.
-[Tony] I agree.
I don't know if it's comedy, but it's you.
There's something positive
no matter what comes up.
You just go, "Yes."
And even-- you just lead with love,
and I love that about you.
-I love you all!
-What's your name? Red Dawn?
Give it up for Red Dawn, in my opinion.
-[Tony] Red Dawn.
-[crowd applauding, cheering]
[Jeff] And if
I think if we're nice to her,
we might get fucking Magnus laid,
so I'm really working here.
[Tony chuckles] I agree.
Red Dawn, I love your style.
Thanks for coming out.
I love different shapes
and sizes of people.
-Here's a big joke book for you.
-Thank you.
-Ah!
-[Tony] Boom. Red Dawn.
Thank you very much.
[Tony] There she goes, everybody.
Make some noise for Red Dawn, everyone.
[crowd cheering]
Remember, don't hate, masturbate.
That is one horny old bitch, everybody.
-There she goes.
-Would you fuck her if no one knew?
[Tony chuckles] What?
Shut up. Put the mic down.
[chuckles] All right, guys.
Back to the bucket we go, folks.
Let's see what we got here.
["Veil of Fire" playing]
[Tony] Oh my God.
[Redban] What's happening?
[crowd cheering]
[inaudible]
By God, it's Kane!
[chuckles]
Make some noise for Kane, everybody!
[crowd cheering, applauding]
[Undertaker] Did you meet Red Dawn?
What's that? Yeah, saw that.
Do I start?
I mean, forget about Kane,
it's The Undertaker,
how awesome is that, right?
[crowd cheering, applauding]
I'm supposed to do
like 60 seconds of stand-up,
so guys, hang with me, all right?
You know, I lost my mind
after getting out of wrestling
and went into politics.
And as someone who has done both now,
I can tell you
that politics is just like wrestling,
it's just not nearly as entertaining.
In wrestling, we've got great heels
like "Rowdy" Roddy Piper
and Ric Flair, Randy Orton.
[crowd cheering, applauding]
In politics, we've got Dr. Anthony Fauci.
[crowd booing]
And here's the thing, I'm not even talking
about the COVID stuff, okay?
This dude funded experiments
in which beagles were tortured to death.
[crowd booing]
Kane is a sadistic monster,
but even he loves puppies.
[crowd cheering, applauding]
And if you think
that the storylines in WWE are wild,
I've got one for you.
The government is going
to give billions of dollars
without any oversight or accountability
to Somali immigrants in Minnesota
to build daycares.
[crowd booing]
And then, it's like everyone is aghast
because there's no daycares,
but there's a lot
of new Somali millionaires.
Speaking of Minnesota,
you guys may have seen this a while back,
Governor Tim Walz
-[crowd booing]
-claimed that he could kick the asses
[chuckles]
This is just like wrestling actually,
this is awesome.
Claimed that he could kick
the asses of Trump supporters.
So I challenged him
to a charity wrestling exhibition.
You guys are gonna be shocked.
[crowd cheering, applauding]
And you guys are gonna be shocked,
he never got back to me.
[crowd laughing]
I guess that's
why they call him Tampon Tim.
Ba-da-bum-ching, I'm done. Thank you.
Kane, ladies and gentlemen.
Glad I could make it out tonight
for a wild talk. All right.
[crowd cheering, applauding]
How awesome is this?
-The mayor of Knoxville, Tennessee.
-Yeah.
Knox County.
-[Tony] Knox County.
-Knox County, close.
-[Tony] All right. I got it.
-Yes.
Uh
-This is your brother.
-My little brother. Yeah.
-[laughs]
-[Kane] Yeah.
How do you feel
about watching your brother
do stand-up comedy?
That's awesome.
That's the greatest thing I've ever seen.
So, have you guys
seen Triple A in Mexico?
[crowd cheering]
Is he not doing an amazing job?
But then the thing is, I'm like, "Wait."
"The Undertaker is booking Triple A?"
And now he's on this show?
It's awesome.
-Are you done?
-No.
-[laughs]
-[crowd laughing]
[Kane] I never get the spotlight.
-[laughs]
-[crowd laughing]
Just sell.
I'll take the pin.
[Jeff] I don't know what that was.
That was, like, political.
That was, like, were you Kane or McCain?
-[Tony laughs]
-[crowd laughing]
Well, maybe both. I don't know.
[Jeff] No, that was very entertaining.
That was some
of my favorite Somali immigrant humor
that I've heard here
in Vegas in a long time.
Pretty easy target right now.
I love it. No, it's true.
It's really going down.
How are things in Knox County?
Are there Somali immigrants there?
Yes, we-- Yes.
-[Tony] Oh, wow.
-We have, yeah, we have everybody.
-[Tony] Okay.
-Yeah.
Do you ever go around
and put on your mask at night
and scare them
and, like, knock on their doors
to try to get them?
Wait, that's not a mask?
-[laughs]
-[crowd laughing]
[Kane] No, no.
I love it.
I've been watching you my entire life,
and it is such an honor
to have you on this show.
-[Kane] Thank you.
-You used to scare the hell out of me.
Thank you. Thank y'all.
[Tony] Kane,
ladies and gentlemen, the great.
[crowd cheering, applauding]
[Tony] Heck yeah.
Make some noise for Glenn Jacobs,
Kane, everybody,
one more time, the man.
Thank you so much.
Heck yeah.
[Jeff] Tony, it's so funny
watching you live out
your childhood dreams tonight.
Yeah, it really is.
This is where the show came
from, you know,
big entrances, theme songs,
building of characters
week after week,
every Monday at 8:00 p.m., right?
The whole thing is really built off of
-Twelve years.
-Have you missed a Monday in twelve years?
Thirteen years, and no.
We've put out a show
every Monday at 8:00 p.m.
for 13 years straight.
Incredible.
-Incredible.
-Yeah.
And how many of those shows
had Kane doing comedy?
[chuckles] Right, absolutely zero.
-[Jeff] Congratulations.
-Thank you.
Thank you. We've had Kane
and Red Dawn on the same show.
That goes to show you the range
of a Kill Tony episode.
"My pussy's crazy!"
And then a mayor of an actual county.
[crowd laughing]
All right, to the bucket we go.
We're gonna meet them all together.
Make some noise
for Evan Connolly, everybody.
Evan Connolly.
-[upbeat jazzy music playing]
-[crowd cheering, applauding]
I'm Irish and Filipino,
[crowd cheering]
which is why I kind of look
like I'm on the spectrum.
[crowd laughing]
I have what my doctor
calls resting special ed face.
[crowd laughing]
It's my dad that's Filipino,
and we don't look much alike.
He used to pick me up
from school when I was a kid.
My teachers would be like,
"Evan, why do you get
in the car of a random
Asian man after class?"
I'd be like, "Oh, that's my dad."
And then they'd be like,
"Why are you failing math?"
[crowd laughing]
Whenever I say that, people ask
if I'm really Filipino, which I am.
Nobody has ever asked
if I was really on the spectrum.
[crowd laughing]
They're like, "I'm not sure,
but that autistic kid looks a lot
like 'Stone Cold' Steve Autism."
[crowd laughing]
It's flattering.
[crowd cheering, applauding]
Is that the minute?
That is exactly one minute
from Evan Connolly.
You know exactly when a minute is.
Very funny set.
I'm guessing you've
been doing this a while.
-How long have you been doing stand-up?
-About four and a half years. Out here.
-All of it in Vegas?
-Yep.
-Nice. Well, welcome, welcome.
-Thank you.
Have you ever done a show this big before?
No. [chuckles]
I love the "Stone Cold" Steve Autism joke.
Very funny.
Haven't heard anything like that before.
What's autistic about you?
What's your specialty?
What's your finishing move of autism?
[chuckling]
You're good at math or something?
I solve a Rubik's Cube
and smash it off my head.
[Tony] Oh, wow.
Amazing. Amazing.
Any other autistic tricks that you have?
I'm always intrigued by the gifts
of the autistic people.
I'm a casino dealer out here,
and that's like
being professionally autistic.
-[Tony]
-[chuckles] Kinda.
What's his game? What game does he play?
Yeah. What are you dealing?
Texas Hold'em.
-Oh, nice.
-And poker.
What's the craziest thing that's happened
at the table that you've worked at?
-Uh, hookers.
-[Tony] Oh.
Seen people get hookers.
I didn't know
it was that common. [chuckles]
It just happens.
They just hang out and head out.
-[Tony] Right.
-[chuckles] That's about it.
Do you know any good deals
or anything that you could share?
-About
-[Jeff] Can you give us a tip?
[Evan chuckles] Deals, yeah.
If I wink at you 32 times, fold.
[Tony] Okay.
-[chuckles, mumbles]
-[crowd laughing]
[Tony] I'll start counting.
[Evan chuckles]
-[Jeff] I like this guy, Tony.
-Yeah.
-You're fantastic, Evan.
-Thank you.
Do you have a girlfriend?
Do you have any Love on the Spectrum?
-[chuckles] No.
-[crowd laughing]
Uh, no, I'm a free agent.
[Tony] What's it like?
What can people expect going on a date
with Evan Connolly other
than a Rubik's Cube?
[chuckles]
Um, a train set?
-[train horn blowing]
-No, no, I'm kidding.
Wow, very quick on that sound effect.
We've got trains
and fire trucks ready to go.
Oh, wow.
What are your thoughts on fire trucks?
Do you love fire trucks?
Do I have any fire trucks?
[Tony] Do you love fire trucks?
Yeah, I lick the window
whenever they drive by.
-[Tony chuckles] Very good.
-[siren blaring]
[Tony] That's an ambulance, but okay.
-[air siren blaring]
-Thank you.
Amazing. The last date
that you've been on, though,
I'm curious to know,
because I have some friends
that watch Love on the Spectrum,
-and I find it very, very intriguing.
-[Evan] Oh yeah.
Just to be clear, I said I look
like I'm on the spectrum.
-I am not
-[Tony] Oh, okay.
I don't want like stolen valor.
-[laughs]
-[crowd laughing]
Irish Filipino.
I went with it three times, you know.
The fourth time, I'm pinning it.
-[Tony] Got it.
-That's about it.
Got it. Perfect.
My friend, you nailed it.
Very, very fun set.
-Here's a big joke book.
-Thank you. Appreciate it.
-Here you go, buddy.
-[crowd cheering, applauding]
[Tony] Boom.
There he goes, Evan Connolly.
Let's kick this thing up
a notch, everybody.
I have one of the great regulars
of Kill Tony here,
ready to do yet another set.
This guy never takes a week off.
He's absolutely dominating
Las Vegas, Nevada.
Make some noise
for the great Dedrick Flynn, everybody.
Here we go.
-[upbeat jazzy music playing]
-[crowd cheering, applauding]
You know, people are gonna tell you
that women want you more
when you have like a girlfriend or a wife
because they want what they can't have.
But I'm here to tell y'all
it's just because we look better.
Because we're better kept.
Have y'all seen single dudes?
Single dudes look and smell
like what happens after years
of kicking ice cubes
underneath the refrigerator.
And then the radiation melt the ice
and then the mold come in
and then it make a, it form a body
and it crawl out and it's like
[in raspy voice] "You should smile more."
[crowd laughing]
And the reason why we're so better kept
is because we're using
their hair care products in the shower.
Long are the days
of me using my six-in-one body wash.
[cat meows]
Shampoo, conditioner,
body wash, ZYN juice,
the original Four Loko recipe
with the caffeine in it,
and DUI tears.
Nah, she got good shit. She got
Her shower looked
like Gordon Ramsay's seasoning cabinet
and two black Southern women.
You remember you used to suicide
the sodas in Taco Bell?
That's me with her shit.
She think I'm in there jacking off.
Nah, I'm just trying stuff out.
They got shit called purple shampoo.
It's only for people with blonde hair
or a nigga with free time.
[crowd laughing]
Bro, they got
these shit called bath bombs.
It takes bubble baths
to a whole new level.
This shit is a bomb that you drop in there
and it changes the color of the water
and it got sprinkles and glitter in there
and it's got lavender oils
and all these scents.
And that's why women look so delicious,
is because they treat their body
like a crawfish boil.
[crowd laughing]
-That's my time, I love y'all.
-[crowd cheering]
[Tony] Dedrick Flynn, The Dark Storm
of Austin, Texas.
-[laughs]
-[Tony] Hell yeah, buddy.
What an amazing set.
Over two minutes, always doing
more work than you have to.
-Yeah.
-[Tony] Amazing, amazing set.
You're having fun, huh?
I'm having the greatest time
of my motherfucking life!
Las Vegas!
-[Tony] The crowd goes wild.
-[Dedrick] Oh my God.
Oh man.
Can I do a quick shout-out, Tony?
[Tony] Absolutely.
My mama's birthday on Wednesday,
and this is going to air.
And I promised my mama when she turned 55
that before she turned 60,
I was going to be on Netflix.
Now I'm on there twice
before she turns 60.
Y'all make sure you buy her a drink!
I love you, mama!
-[crowd cheering]
-[Tony] Hell yeah.
Awesome.
Jeff Ross, you've seen Dedrick.
-I want to meet your mom.
-[crowd laughing]
You can.
She's cool as fuck.
[Jeff] She sounds cool.
I loved your jokes tonight.
I'm glad you really
took down those bath bombs.
[both laugh]
-[Jeff] They deserve it.
-[laughs]
[Tony] Yeah.
It was awesome, man.
I hope you get all the teeth you need.
-[laughs]
-[crowd laughing]
Dedrick, that was great.
You killed in this giant arena.
-Thank you so much, man.
-You're crushing, Dedrick.
Uh, you're an old-school wrestling fan.
-Right?
-Yes, I am.
This is a big deal, being around Mania?
Yeah, looking Man.
I see you eyeballing The Undertaker.
Can't tell whether you're
scared or excited.
I used to watch you on the big booty TVs.
[crowd laughing]
You know what I'm talking about,
the big booty TVs?
Oh, yeah, I got you. Yep.
The ones you turn, like, with a knob,
and when you turn it off, you got
that electric cheese when
you wipe across the screen.
Boy, I love you so fucking much, man.
It's so good to meet you.
[crowd cheering, applauding]
You remember him from, I believe,
the first coffin match.
This is Kamala. Uh, here he is.
-[both laugh]
-[crowd laughing]
Holding strong. Looking better than ever.
I'm gonna need that urn back though, man.
-[laughs]
-[crowd laughing]
It was [laughs]
Dedrick's ashier than anything
that's ever been in that urn.
[Undertaker]
I think those teeth are the urn.
Oh yeah.
He melted down the urn
and used it as a grill.
Y'all can't be mean to me.
I'm on Netflix.
-[Tony laughs]
-Uh, I-- I
I rebuke your mean comments
in the name of Jesus,
and I'm just gonna bask in my glow.
[crowd cheering, applauding]
[Tony] I love it.
The American dream alive and well.
Signed up, what, 59 times?
-Thirty-nine times.
-[Tony] Thirty-nine times.
Told everybody,
"This is my last time signing up."
"I'm sick of hanging out
with all these fucking
filthy open micers at the bar
next to the Mothership,"
where we contain everybody.
Told everyone,
"This is my last time signing up."
"If I don't get up tonight,
I'm going back to Atlanta,
where I'm respected
and can make some money."
And that night, he got pulled
out of the bucket of destiny,
and his life has changed.
This is his second appearance on Netflix.
Every single time, he crushes.
The American dream
right in front of your eyes.
Ladies and gentlemen, one more time
for Dedrick Flynn.
-[crowd cheering]
-[Dedrick] I love you!
-Kill Tony!
-[Tony] Hell yeah.
The man, Dedrick Flynn.
Heck yeah. We love you, Dedrick.
Get the hell out of here. There he goes.
-[crowd cheering]
-[Tony laughs]
[upbeat funky music playing]
All right.
I got a special treat for you guys,
ladies and gentlemen.
We have a young man
who you know very well,
and you know for a fact
that he's a wrestling fan
because he's been one
of the most wrestling-like characters
ever since his debut on Kill Tony.
You've gotten to watch him grow.
We've all watched him grow
from a normal civilian
to a comedian.
This is the guy,
you know him, you love him,
Uncle Lazer, ladies and gentlemen,
is here, live in the flesh.
Living his dream
on a wrestling edition of Kill Tony.
-[upbeat rock music playing]
-[crowd cheering, applauding]
-[music concludes]
-[crowd cheering, applauding]
Hey, y'all, Vegas, y'all ready to party?!
[crowd cheering]
Hey, well, listen, there's two things
you don't do at a party, okay?
You don't talk about God,
you don't talk about politics,
so let's talk about the Jews, listen.
[crowd laughing]
Now, listen, I need you to know,
I'm from a small town, okay?
Where I'm from, we burn trash for fun,
we fuck our relatives
'cause it's cost-effective, you know?
I don't know shit about no Jew.
I never seen no Jew.
Where I'm from, there's no Jews.
And where I'm originally from,
we used to put them in summer camps.
[crowd laughing]
But I went to New York
and they got a different type of Jew.
Acidic.
[crowd chuckling]
Orange juice Jew, you know?
And look, man, I'm a fucking retard, okay?
But I saw there was a hot dog stand.
I was going to go get me a glizzy, okay?
And I walked up there,
and it says "kosher dog."
It didn't have no pictures.
Well, look, my dumb ass thought--
I though "kosher" meant grilled onions.
-[cat meows]
-[crowd laughing]
And so I ordered it.
He handed me the bun,
just a wiener and bun.
I said, "Where's the onions?"
He goes, "That's not what that means."
And I said, "What's it mean?"
He said, "Well, it means
it's been blessed by a rabbi."
I said, "Do you know what's in a hot dog?"
And he looked at me, he said,
"It's people like you, rednecks like you
that are ruining this fucking country."
I said, "Hold on just a goddamn minute."
I said, "You mean to tell me
you got to have a rabbi
bless this hot dog,
but y'all don't need permits
from the city of New York
to build them tunnels
under that synagogue?"
"Give me my motherfucking
grilled onions, boy!"
[crowd cheering, applauding]
[Tony] All right.
I'm pretty sure
our show has been canceled.
-[laughs]
-[crowd laughing]
I was informed today that Redban,
you took a taxi cab here, right?
-A Vegas cab.
-Yeah.
As you know, here, this is one
of the last cities of taxi cabs existing
'cause they're outside of the casinos.
You just jump in one.
You tell them where you're going,
this and that.
And then you got in the taxi cab
and they ask, "Where are you going?
What are you up to?"
And you said, Kill Tony.
And the cab driver said
[in foreign accent] "Oh, I met somebody
on Kill Tony show last night."
"I took him and he didn't tip me.
I don't know what I did wrong."
"I don't-- What did I do?"
You didn't tip a cab driver
last night here in Las Vegas.
This is an actual fact.
You're watching us.
We held on to the secret.
We've been talking about it all day,
about how we're gonna bring it up
when he's on the show.
[crowd booing]
[Tony laughs]
[Uncle Lazer] Fuck y'all, shut up, listen.
-[Tony] Meanwhile--
-[Uncle Lazer] Listen, I'm cash poor.
I'm cash poor,
I'm gonna be honest with you.
And first off, listen,
it wasn't a taxi, Redban.
It was a fucking Uber.
And second of all, look, if you drive bad,
breaking hard, turning too fast,
I'm shifting on the fucking window,
I won't give you no stars
'cause I know that's
how you make your living,
but I'm not gonna fucking tip you.
So fucking Ying Yang Ding
or whoever that was,
not going to tip you, dude.
Don't come at me like that, Redban.
God damn it.
You are saying our show--
You're representing our show.
He's going to talk shit about Kill Tony
and how we're cheap-ass bastards now
forever
because of your--
You can't even tip him a dollar?
Come on, dude.
That's crazy
'cause he fucking messaged me back.
He goes, "Redban didn't tip either."
-So now
-[Redban] I tipped for you!
He didn't say that.
That's not a real thing.
You didn't go check back in with him.
But I will say this, is not tipping
local people here in the city
and then coming out
and doing an entire set
about Jews is very contradictory.
[crowd laughing]
-I will say that.
-Listen-- [chuckles]
-I get it, dude.
-[Jeff] Amen.
-[laughs]
-I get it. You got to save the show.
But listen, I'm telling you, look.
If you don't do a good job,
I'm not gonna tip you.
What did he do wrong?
What do you expect when you get
in an Asian cab driver's car exactly?
You think he's going to NASCAR you
to the hotel on the monorail?
Look, my grandma was old, but she was,
you know, she's slow,
but like she could drive
I'm pretty sure she was
on the show tonight.
[crowd laughing]
Oh, that woman, Jesus's mom?
Dude, she was all about that holy pussy.
-Shit, I like that.
-Yeah.
I can see you two getting along real well.
Oh, dude, I'll fucking peel this cap back
and put her Old Testament.
[Tony] I bet you'll give her the tip.
You'll give her the tip
that you didn't give
the Asian cab driver last night.
[Uncle Lazer laughing]
[Tony] Amazing.
Uncle Lazer here
at WrestleMania Weekend.
Is there anything else crazy
we should know about you?
No, it's kind of,
let's get gay real quick.
It's kind of bittersweet.
I wasn't supposed to be here.
I was supposed to be snowboarding
in Austria at an EDM festival.
But then my grandma
had a stroke last week.
-[Tony] Oh God.
-And my dad's like,
"Hey, we're gonna pull the plug on her
on Monday."
"And the funeral's going
to be on Saturday."
And I was like, "All right, cool."
But they pulled the plug and she started
breathing again for a couple more days.
-She stayed alive.
-Oh, wow.
-She died. Yeah.
-[air horn blaring]
[Tony chuckles] That is the most
[Uncle Lazer] And so, uh
[chuckling]
Yeah, I should have tipped
that cab driver.
I'm sorry, Redban. I'm so sorry.
-[laughs]
-[crowd laughing, cheering]
[Tony] Amazing.
Uncle Lazer, thank you so much.
-A true wrestling fan.
-Thank you for having me. Vegas!
I'll be back!
There he goes, Uncle Lazer,
with his championship belt.
He's the champion of tipping the least
in this city this weekend.
Reigning defending champion.
How's it going up there on the balcony?
[crowd cheering, applauding]
Yeah.
I love this venue, Tony.
[Tony] This is awesome.
The Dolby Live theater here.
[Jeff] Everybody has a good seat.
Yeah.
[crowd cheering]
A lot like the Forum will be
for The Roast of Kevin Hart, May 10th.
-[Jeff] I love it. You're in, baby.
-[Tony] Yeah. We're gonna have fun.
-[Jeff] Shane Gillis is hosting.
-[Tony] Yeah.
Make sure you check out Take a Banana
for the Ride on Netflix.
And of course, like I said earlier,
Undertaker's podcast, Six Feet Down.
Um
Six Feet Under.
Oh. Shit.
[chuckling] I'm so sorry.
Hey, that's twice.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
[Jeff] What's the podcast about?
People who get the name wrong
and get their ass kicked.
-[laughs]
-[rimshot]
Holy shit.
Oh shit. Shots fired.
Oh shit.
All right, back to the show, everybody.
We are going with a WWE Superstar,
ladies and gentlemen.
This young lady crushed last year
at The Roast of WrestleMania,
and she dominated tonight
in actual WrestleMania.
Ladies and gentlemen, make some noise
for the great and powerful
Nia Jax, everyone!
-["Two Bosses" playing]
-[crowd cheering, applauding]
-[music concludes]
-[crowd cheering]
Thanks for bringing me back, Tony.
Huh, Kill Tony.
I can think of ways
to kill Tony in 60 seconds.
I would just sit on his face
and then I would call that finisher
Rest In Yeast.
[crowd groaning, laughing]
But you know what?
I would feel really comfortable here.
It's just like WWE.
A lot of trauma,
a lot of daddy issues in WWE.
There's a lot of job security
in our HR department.
It's just like a Kill Tony guest
with the job security of being disabled.
[crowd chuckling]
But hey, listen, as a woman
whose disability is
having massive amounts
of testosterone,
I
Sorry, Tony.
[crowd laughing]
My 60 seconds.
Listen, Tony, being backstage
looking at the men who are
oiled up is kind of creepy.
I just want to let you know.
You look like a little bitch.
You're so small
I could probably use you as a tampon.
[crowd laughing]
But you know what?
Second thought, I would never
let anything that ugly inside of me.
Unless it was Jeff Ross.
[crowd cheering, applauding]
But before I go,
I wanna shout out my mother
because she loves it
when I talk about my yeasty pussy.
I love you, mom.
[Tony] That tiny lady is your mom?
-[Jeff] She's hot!
-[Nia] That's really my mom.
[Tony] Oh my goodness, look at that!
[crowd cheering, applauding]
Your mom looks
like a tiny little normal mom.
How the hell did that come out of you?
I was ten pounds, too.
-Oh, wow.
-Yeah.
Ten pounds, two ounces.
Oh my goodness.
How about one more time for Nia's mom?
Adorable. Look at this sweet lady.
[crowd cheering]
Pussy probably looks like this bucket
after Nia came out of it.
Just a hollow, giant
[chuckling] Yeah, there's probably
That's how big your pussy is, too.
-[crowd] Oh!
-Oh! [laughs]
Don't go roasting my mom, Tony.
[Tony] Oh, no, no.
I possibly can't.
I'm sure her pussy is tight.
Tighter than Uncle Lazer
at the end of a cab ride.
[crowd laughing]
Amazing.
Nia, you're so funny.
It's actually incredible.
You're very well prepared.
You absolutely just--
your timing, your execution.
This is two years in a row
where I'm very impressed by you.
A lot of people
I think would assume that someone
with your like physicality
is like all show
and probably not great
on the mic, but you are,
you are really awesome.
Absolutely incredible.
-Jeff.
-[crowd cheering]
What do you think about Nia Jax, huh?
Nia, amazing, amazing.
I wanna Jax to you in my dreams tonight.
Oh my God, thank you.
You're like J-Lo, you're like PB and J-Lo.
-[crowd laughing]
-That's a compliment.
-[Tony] It is.
-[Jeff] Even your mom's kinda hot.
That's true.
-[smooches]
-[cat growling]
I wanna wrestle your mom.
[crowd laughing]
Tony, give me 60 seconds with the mom.
-[laughs]
-[Nia] Hell yeah, mom.
Hell yeah. Hell yeah.
What a fun family.
Thank you for coming out here
and doing stand-up.
-That was fun.
-Thank you so much.
[Tony] Nia, you're awesome.
All those jokes, I gotta ask,
like, do you have a boyfriend?
Like, what type of man
can satisfy a woman like you?
Gosh, Tony.
-[Tony laughs]
-Geez.
No, I don't have a boyfriend, okay?
Thanks.
Yes, I'm single. Thanks, guys.
I'd love to have you
on The Secret Show.
[laughs] Redban.
What's your type? Just out of curiosity.
I can't help but ask.
Like, pick a musician out of this panel.
We have a blind saxophonist.
We have a tiny drummer.
I feel like he could live under my skirt.
[Tony chuckling] Yeah. Yeah.
-[Jeff] And with that hat.
-[Tony laughs] Yeah.
[Tony] I think it's going
to have to be a tag team, Tony.
-Oh my god!
-[crowd laughing]
I do love a good tag team.
Title, championship.
-[Tony] That's right. Yeah.
-I'm in a tag team.
-I wrestle.
-You were in it tonight.
Absolutely awesome.
Great performance here, Nia.
You're awesome.
One more time for Nia Jax, everybody.
[crowd cheering, applauding]
[Tony] So, so cool.
Hell yeah.
One more time for the great Nia Jax,
everybody.
Nia, thank you. I love you.
-There she goes.
-That was fun.
Hell yeah.
It's fun seeing the wrestlers out
of their comfort zone like this.
[Tony] Yeah.
All right, ladies and gentlemen,
your next comedian
is a Golden Ticket winner
on Kill Tony, who won his Golden Ticket
at the age of 21.
I think he's one of the
most promising musical prodigies
we've ever seen
in the history of Kill Tony.
He wrote something specifically
for this event,
specifically for you.
Make some noise for Tony Scar, everyone.
Here he comes.
-This is the future.
-[crowd cheering]
[Tony] Twenty-one-year-old Tony Scar.
[upbeat rock music playing]
[Tony] Come on, people,
make some noise for Tony.
-[music concludes]
-[crowd cheering, applauding]
Nia Jax is single, holy shit, dude.
That's the kind of woman
that'll turn me into a lesbian.
Give me fifteen minutes,
I'll come back with makeup on,
looking like Rhea Ripley
with Down syndrome, dude.
It's gonna be great.
[crowd laughing]
I got one question for you, Vegas.
Just one question.
Are we ready to fucking rock?
[crowd cheering]
Las Vegas, Nevada,
are we ready to fucking rock?
[crowd cheering, applauding]
[upbeat guitar music playing]
Ever since I was a kid
I loved the WWE
But we were poor
And couldn't afford cable TV
I didn't want to miss out
So instead I went to see
Our local bootleg trailer park wrestling
We had a luchador with an extra eye
And we called him eye-yi-yi
And he was gay, so the only way
He'd take it is from behind
There was a wrestler in a wheelchair
I was shocked when he turned heel
He couldn't throw kicks
But I must admit
He threw a crazy left wheel
They had a Rock impersonator
And I was a huge fan
But he didn't have arms
So his People's Elbow
Was just a floppy hand
He parked his RV right outside
Windows taped, no looking
But it's hard to hide
The smell of meth
So you could smell
What The Rock was cooking
We had Cold Stone Steve Austin
He ate way too much ice cream
But he was lactose intolerant
So he left streaks in his jeans
He fought our rip-off Bella Twins
And they really messed him up
They finished him with a nut kick
Two girls, one cup
[crowd laughing]
What can you expect
From trailer park wrestling
Nothing quite compares to the WWE
We had our own Triple H
But he had three types of HPV
We also had Triple F
He had three different felonies
We had about every letter
You guys can take your pick
There was a hooded man
Named Triple K
And he got canceled quick
[crowd laughing]
A fat lady was undefeated
She just couldn't be pinned
So someone threw a sugar cube
And she ran after it
There was a wrestler
Who had two wooden arms
And two wooden legs
He was a dog in the ring
And by that I mean
All he did was sit and stay
There was a blind John Cena
He'd never see stunts through
He'd wave his hand
In front of his face and say
I can't see you
He had a killer headlock
Choked a dude till he slept
But lost the match to a forfeit
Because he choked out the ref
What can you expect
From trailer park wrestling
Nothing quite compares to the WWE
[crowd cheering, applauding]
Thank you very much.
Wow. God damn.
That is so awesome.
[Scar] Hell yeah.
You wrote that specifically for this.
Yeah.
-Put a lot of work into it.
-It was great.
Can't really rep it out anywhere,
you know what I mean?
[Tony] Yeah.
But it was fantastic, man.
Nowhere I'd rather be.
That's awesome.
The whole thing's kind of great
because it's like the
two best fan bases collide.
You know what I mean?
Because wrestling fans go nuts
and comedy fans go nuts.
So when you put them together,
this fucking crowd, I mean,
-it's just great.
-Yeah. These are the best.
We're having more fun than anybody
else in Vegas tonight.
I promise you that.
Tony, you're an anomaly, man.
You're out there working every night,
hustling around Austin,
doing as many spots as possible.
Jeff, what do you think?
You've got a lot of music
in your amazing special,
Take a Banana for the Ride.
You must admit,
Tony, freak talent, right?
I love people
who can write their own music,
and you have a beautiful voice.
And I heard you rehearsing today,
and I see how seriously you take it.
-[Scar] Are you flirting with me?
-No.
No.
But I don't know.
You're like Justin Bieber missing
a chromosome or something.
Thank you. Yeah, that's great.
You do. You look like a cross
of Justin Bieber
and the Bucky Beaver.
Right. These teeth can chew, Tony.
I bet.
Well, Tony, amazing stuff.
You look like you're
about to pull a Jeff Jarrett
with that guitar,
so we're going to get you out
of here before you break
that over somebody.
Make some noise
for Tony Scar, everybody.
There he goes.
-Thank you very much, Vegas!
-[crowd cheering]
Hell yeah.
[Tony] Oh, yeah.
Tony Scar, everybody.
Here we go.
Back to the bucket.
Make some noise, everybody,
for Chris Waldeck, everyone.
Chris Waldeck.
-Here, live, in Las Vegas.
-[upbeat jazzy music playing]
[Tony] Here we go.
-[music concludes]
-[crowd cheering]
Hello, ladies and gentlemen.
My name is Chris Waldeck.
I'm 34 years old and I'm autistic.
[crowd cheering, applauding]
I appreciate the applause,
but don't clap too loud.
You see I'm a little bit different.
I'm on what's called the lower end
of the spectrum
because I thought I wasn't autistic
until I turned 28 years old.
And you're all chuckling
'cause you all figured it out
as soon as I walked on stage.
[crowd laughing]
That's how I know I'm
on the low end of the spectrum.
In fact, I'm so low on the spectrum,
if you guys had clapped any louder
when I said I was autistic,
I would have had to stop the set
and start counting.
[crowd laughing]
You know what age most kids find
out they're autistic?
Two.
And I didn't find out until I turned 28.
You know, what the fuck
were my parents doing?
Like, I may be autistic, but I
just found out my parents are retarded.
[crowd laughing]
[cat meows]
My dad's name is Gerald.
So they say I'm one of Jerry's Kids.
And my mom's name is Tina,
she's an accountant.
But she's not a good one, though.
She can count everything except
for the correct amount of Tylenol.
Thank you, everybody.
Yes.
Chris Waldeck.
Hell yeah.
As everyone knows,
you're my type of fucking guy.
Thank you.
I appreciate that.
Boom.
Wow.
Yes.
Look at that chain.
Absolutely incredible.
You are balling out of control.
Fly as fuck, baby.
I'm fly as fuck.
[crowd cheering, applauding]
I'm just dressed this fly
'cause they said
I couldn't wear my helmet on stage.
-[crowd laughing]
-[Tony laughs]
I love it, Chris.
I love it.
-Boom.
-Boom.
Hell yeah. You have a catchphrase.
-Boom.
-You have a catchphrase.
Dude, I fucking
love your whole vibe, bro.
I'm fucking into the hand shit
and the fucking movement.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Thank you, man.
[Jeff] We got to fucking
go dancing tonight, baby.
I wish I had my coordination skills.
Honestly, this helps me when I'm
on stage because you see,
if one of my jokes doesn't land,
I always got
one hand clapping for me.
[crowd laughing]
I can't talk to women,
though, because, well
[crowd laughing]
Yeah, no, we get it. We get it.
[Tony laughs]
Boom.
[Tony] Chris Waldeck, how long
have you been doing stand-up comedy?
Eight years.
[Tony] Eight years.
I love it. Where at?
All here in Vegas?
Yep, all here in Vegas.
Is this where you were born and raised?
Oh, no, I'm from Florida originally.
[Tony] What made you move to Vegas?
I had a different job at the time,
and then when that job ended,
I just started doing Lyft
and Uber, and then pandemic hit,
became a warehouse worker,
Lyft and Uber.
It's kind of depressing
because I have two master's degrees,
so that's how I know
I'm a really bad autistic guy.
-[laughs]
-[Tony laughs]
Go ahead, Jeff.
I just love how you laugh with your hands.
-It's amazing.
-Yeah.
You're-- You're like-- You're unique.
Great comedians are one of a kind.
Oh, thank you.
It's too bad-- I go to Subway.
They keep putting me
too many damn olives.
[Jeff] You look like Jared.
There is
There is a lot of Jared in you.
Oh, yeah.
Looking a little creepy is good,
though, in Vegas.
Makes me the perfect Uber driver.
[Redban] No.
Well, at least the one
that Uncle Lazer will tip,
you know what I'm saying?
[Tony] Yeah!
[Jeff] Wow.
I can understand why
he doesn't tip, though,
because he's probably used
to the only tips he gets
with all those tattoos is in jail, so
[Tony laughs]
Hell yeah.
[crowd laughing]
-Boom.
-Boom.
Boom, motherfuckers.
[Tony] Oh, you got the crowd
doing the boom with you now.
You look out.
You got this pro wrestling crowd
doing the boom.
[Chris] I love WWE, man.
I love WWE.
[Tony] Tell me about your history
with the WWE.
Oh, man, growing up, that used to be,
like, my part-time.
Whenever I'd come back from school,
I just used
to watch wrestling all the time.
My favorite match is still to this day
both your matches with Shawn Michaels
at WrestleMania.
I saw both of them.
-I completely agree.
-[Chris] My favorite ones by far.
Completely agree.
When Shawn Michaels did
that damn moonsault
off the top and gets caught
into a Tombstone, epic.
It doesn't get any better than that.
-[Chris] Fucking amazing. Beautiful.
-Absolutely.
When it comes to pro wrestling,
I am also autistic.
[crowd laughing]
Boom.
[laughs]
-Chris.
-[Chris] Boom.
[Tony] Chris, I gotta know,
what are your two masters in?
Ironically, communications and English,
neither of which I'm good at.
-[laughs]
-[crowd laughing]
You are awesome.
[Chris] Boom.
Boom.
Boom, motherfuckers.
You are built for this.
[crowd cheering, applauding]
[Tony] You are built for this, Chris.
[Chris] Oh, thank you so much.
I appreciate that.
[crowd chanting "Boom"]
[Redban] They're doing boom chants.
[Tony] Oh my God.
-This
-[Chris] Boom.
[Tony] This is incredible.
Tell us more about your,
uh, about your autistic side.
Uh, my autistic side?
Well, a lot of it is
that I know a lot about movies.
Like, I can, like, recite a lot
of different random knowledge.
My friends always,
like, tease me about it.
They always ask me,
like, damn random movie facts.
I'm just like, I'm like the ChatGPnobody asked for
when it comes to movies.
Like, they'll just name a movie,
and I'll just start reciting, like,
credits and stuff about it.
Like, I used to walk through,
like, like, like,
video stores all the time.
I used to just, like, you know,
just read the credits.
I used to just,
like, watch a lot of movies.
Yeah, I'm nerdy as fuck.
I apologize.
Is it mostly older movies
or just pretty much any movie?
Older and newer movies and stuff.
Like, you know, like, I used
to watch, like, you know,
just both of them all the time.
I used to study
film, study cinematography.
I'm trying to learn AI right now
because I want to use it
to design my own films, like, you know,
through the scripting and stuff
and, like, script writing.
So, like, you know, I feel
at this point pretty much,
like, that's where the industry's going,
so, you know, behind it.
No, I think you're ahead
of the curve here.
You're exactly right.
I wish my teacher said the same thing.
I really wish they did.
Just out of my own curiosity,
like, let's drop a movie.
Let's drop a, like a
[crowd shouting]
Huh?
Behind the Green Door.
He said Devil's Rejects with Rob Zombie?
[Tony] Yeah. Let's do that one.
Oh, that's amazing.
The Devil's Rejects with Rob Zombie
featuring Sid Haig.
It's a Western take.
It's an influence
from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
Before he made that, he made
House of a Thousand Corpses
in which it featured Rainn Wilson,
one of his earlier debuts,
as well as Chris Hardwick in it.
And that film is like the prequel to it.
And then The Devil's Rejects,
what comes with it is it was the influence
of the doctor, the evil doctor.
Oh yeah.
-Boom, boom.
-Boom!
Yeah, baby.
They're one-hand clapping for me.
[Jeff] They're saying boom!
And then they made a third one
that came right after,
Three From Hell, and
that one replaced Richard Brake,
who was in Rob Zombie's 31,
where he had his breakout performance.
They used him to replace Sid Haig
because Sid Haig was dying
from cancer when
Rob Zombie went and saw him.
And speaking of cancer, I actually
just got cancer removed from my back,
so I'm doing pretty damn good right now.
-[crowd cheering, applauding]
-[Tony] Wow.
[Tony] Wow.
You are something else.
-Boom.
-Yeah, man.
The last two years,
man, have been, like,
the roughest years of my life,
but I'm just excited
that I got over them.
Like, I got hit by two cars,
and then I got cancer diagnosed, and I
Despite getting hit
by a car the first time,
I actually made it
to a comedy competition, like,
right after I went in,
made it to the quarterfinals
for the World Series of Comedy.
And then, after I got my settlement,
passed my physical therapy,
I was the victim of a hit-and-run,
So I didn't get a settlement.
And then I got diagnosed
with cancer right after it.
And I'm just happy they cut it out.
So, you know, luckily the warehouse
I work at has amazing insurance.
So I'm fucking blessed as far
as I'm concerned.
Wow.
[Tony] So you're healed from cancer.
Sorry.
That's another autism thing.
I ramped it way too much.
By the way, cancer is
like number five on the list
of shit that's weird about you.
-[Tony laughs]
-[crowd laughing]
I always call myself a living,
breathing Bad Luck Brian sometimes.
-[Jeff] Tony.
-[Tony] Yeah.
-[Jeff] Can I ask you a question?
-Yeah, absolutely.
Are you sure
those cars that hit you twice,
are you sure they weren't cabs
that they thought you were
hailing them cabs?
[crowd laughing]
Did you say,
sorry, I can't really hear.
-You said they were cabs or something?
-[Jeff] Yeah.
Did I use it to hail cabs?
Well, if I did, they'd probably tell me
to fuck off 'cause I'm an Uber driver.
[Tony] When the cars hit you,
what noise did it make?
It was just like a [laughs]
-[Tony] I really set you up for that one.
-Boom!
I set you up for that one, buddy.
[Chris] Damn right you did.
I'll tell you what, pal.
I find you very, very funny,
and I can't help myself.
-You guys know I have a soft spot.
-[crowd cheering, applauding]
A very big soft spot
in my heart for people
that use their energies
and talents and gifts from God
in a crazy way.
Ladies and gentlemen,
this is a Golden Ticket,
and it is going to you, Chris Waldeck.
Here you go, buddy. Boom.
-Thank you so much.
-Welcome.
-[crowd cheering]
-[celebratory jazzy music playing]
That's as real as it gets, buddy.
Holy shit, you're tall.
[Tony laughs]
[crowd laughing]
[Tony] One more time
for Chris Waldeck, everybody.
He got hit with two cars, cancer,
and now a golden ticket.
Boom.
[crowd chanting "Boom"]
Chris Waldeck, everybody.
Tony making dreams
come true over here.
It's amazing.
This is a full show now tonight,
it feels like.
There's that heart.
We got a little bit of heart in it.
You guys with me?
-[crowd cheering]
-Feels good.
This place is on fire.
It feels good in here tonight.
-Uso!
Tony.
-["Main Event Ish" playing]
-[crowd cheering, applauding]
Hey, hey, Main Event Jey Uso
Is now in your city
Yah-hoo!
It's just me, uce, okay
Day one ish, it's just me, uce
Day one ish
It's just me, uce, okay
Day one ish, it's Jey, I line 'em all up
And knock 'em down like this, I did
Hey, it's on me now, uce
Aye, I'ma get 'em all
I'ma get 'em all, uce
Yeah, ha-ha
I'ma get 'em, I'ma get 'em
I'ma get 'em, yeah
Yo, yo, it's on me now, uce
It's on me
Aye, aye
Main Event Jey Uso is now in your city
It's just me, uce, okay
Day one ish, it's just me, uce
Day one ish, it's just me, uce, okay
Day one ish, it's Jey, I line 'em all up
And knock 'em down like this, I did
[music fades]
[crowd cheering]
Uso!
[music resumes]
Main Event Jey Uso is now in your city
It's just me, uce, okay
Day one ish, it's just me, uce
Day one ish, it's just me, uce, okay
Day one ish, it's Jey, I line 'em all up
And knock 'em down like this, I did
All right, cut it.
Cut it, uce.
I just broke your mic on accident, uce.
When I say I really be getting tired
doing that shit, I'm so serious.
Seriously.
I'm nervous. I'm real nervous, though.
I didn't know it was going
to be like this, uce.
All I got is a minute, uce.
Sit down.
I wanted Tony to do my entrance
with me earlier, man.
They said he wasn't allowed
within 50 feet of the kids.
[crowd gasping, laughing]
[Jey] All right, look, that's all I got.
I'm gonna take it home,
so y'all don't turn heel on my boy,
like y'all did Sami Zayn.
Four letters. One word.
Uh-uh.
[crowd] Yeet!
[Tony] Jey Uso, ladies and gentlemen.
I love it.
-Fuck.
-[crowd cheering]
The way you move
this crowd when you come out
is absolutely incredible.
Redban's new to the WWE Universe.
I lost my virginity to WrestleMania III,
though, watching Hulk Hogan
and Andre the Giant.
And I'd rather watch them
than fuck a pussy
for my first time, though.
-I remember that.
-Wow.
What's wrong with me?
There you go.
Had to learn how to dap up, uce.
Yeah.
Kind of missed your shit.
Jey, this is the closest thing
to stand-up comedy that you've
done before, right?
-Yeah. Yeah, Tony.
-Hell yeah.
I like it, though. I mean, this is
by far the most nervous
or whatever I've ever done.
I know wrestling
in front of sixty thousand,
but making people
laugh is different, man.
-So, yeah. Yeet.
-Yeah.
-[Tony] Respect. Absolutely.
-Yeah.
I respect the hell
out of what you guys do,
and it's amazing to hear
that something like this
can make you guys,
who are larger than life, nervous.
It's incredible.
Jeff Ross was
at his first WrestleMania today.
We saw you crushing it.
Be nice, Jeff.
We saw you crush it over there
and just absolutely
eat shit over here.
But I get it man,
you're out of your comfort zone
over here trying
stand up comedy But you had one joke.
I heard of Bad Bunny.
You're like Bad Funny.
Hey Jeff. At least I'm from the Bloodline,
motherfucker.
It look like you in line for blood.
[crowd cheering, applauding]
That's what I'm talking about!
That's what I'm talking about!
Hey, hey, Jeff looked
like he cleaned my pool on Wednesday.
-[Tony] Oh, shit.
-That's what I'm talking about!
Yeah, Jeff over here belting and shit.
That's what you look like.
"Hurry up, man, so we can go, man."
"It's past Taker's bedtime.
We gots to go."
[Tony laughs]
[Jey] I ain't gonna finna do
nothing about Taker.
You woke up the monster.
There's a little roaster in there.
I mean, man, I know what he do.
I love it.
I love it.
You're dressed for today and tomorrow.
[crowd laughing]
Sneak up in your back door, too.
[Jeff] I love this guy now.
See?
You fucking broke through,
baby, and they love you.
It's amazing.
[crowd chanting "Yeet"]
Jey, I'm so happy you joined us for this.
The people fucking love you.
You're such an amazing, entertaining,
you have the aura
of a thousand fucking wrestlers right now.
It is incredible.
You're on top of your game.
Thank you for joining us
and gracing us with your presence.
Thanks, uce.
[Tony] The great Jey Uso,
ladies and gentlemen.
Hell yeah.
[crowd cheering, applauding]
One more time for the great Jey Uso,
everybody.
[crowd cheering, applauding]
[crowd] Yeet!
I'm wondering if The Undertaker
has ever been to a roast.
Have you ever been roasted?
No.
I hope you come out and see me
and Tony at the Kevin Hart roast.
-Invite me. I'll be there, man.
-You're there, baby.
-All right.
-There, baby.
One more guy to make fun of at the roast.
I love it.
Yeah, you go ahead and do that.
Yes, hello, fanhausens.
It is I, Danhausen.
You're very nice, very evil.
Danhausen was in his brand-new blimp,
and he took a wrong turn,
so he could not get
to the Dolby Theatre tonight.
However, he's been tasked
with cursing you,
a new comedian out here.
So, here is Casey Rockethausen.
Yay!
Woo!
Laugh at him, because if you don't,
you are cursed!
Hello, Mr. Undertaker!
[splashing, muttering]
There's no way
this could possibly be happening.
One of the most
Oh my
There's no way.
Oh my God!
[upbeat ska music playing]
-[music concludes]
-[crowd cheering]
I'll be damned,
here comes your ghost again.
What a rush.
Get real.
It's still real to me, damn it.
Hey, abolish ICE, whose idea was
that, the Heat Miser?
Okay, so cool.
Taker, don't get any ideas.
I, uh, so cool.
Swanton bomb.
I don't give a fuck.
Cut the lights out. I'm going acapella.
I got to get out of here.
I'm supposed to go to the Sphere
and watch Cannibal Holocaust.
There's nothing more dangerous
than a man with nothing to lose.
So cool.
Y'all serve napalm here?
I, um
So sick to think about, especially
around the holidays.
Let's go.
No one can go up anymore.
[chuckles]
I broke your special mic.
Give me ten last minutes.
A lot of people
say they can't fall asleep
without ambient noise.
Not me.
I can only fall asleep
if I listen to Ambien noise.
Steal a car. Steal a car.
Become a goose. You're a goose now.
I should get going.
I heard there
was a haunting in Connecticut.
Why did that hit so hard?
Why did it work so well?
This city needs a hero.
It's just me on top of the Tropicana.
I'm just smoking K2.
[chuckles] Wah!
He's gonna jump.
Wah!
He's gonna stay.
Wah!
[crowd laughing]
I shouldn't even be here.
I violated the Kill Tony wellness policy.
I took thirty Benadryl and made
commune with the winged serpent.
I've been dating someone.
We did a Lady and the Tramp thing
with a slinky.
Can I ask you guys a serious question,
if you have a second?
[crowd] Yeah!
Do you guys also hate it when mommy
and daddy fight?
-[crowd] Yeah.
-[laughs]
But it has been a tough month.
Don't you give me that bear sound.
So cool to think about.
I took six slugs in a DEA shootout
in Port Aransas.
And they said I could never
come back from it.
And look at me now.
I have six kids
by seven different women.
Thank you guys for having me back.
I'm a hundred days sober today.
-[crowd cheering, applauding]
-[fireworks whistling]
[Tony] I love that.
I did not know that.
Casey, stick with us up here.
Grab that mic.
That is amazing.
I haven't seen Casey a little
behind the Kill Tony
uh, studio. I haven't seen you
in such a long time.
That is amazing news to find out
you're a hundred days sober.
How about one more time for that?
Thanks.
I can tell you for a fact,
Casey is a wild boy,
a throwback to a different era.
It's the real deal.
Not only does he dress
like the Hardy Boyz,
he also parties like the Hardy Boyz.
More like Hardly Boyz.
Stop.
Not on my special night.
Casey, this is amazing.
You are one of the true legends
of the Kill Tony Universe.
And we absolutely are amazed
that you're back.
-["Welcome To The Queendom" playing]
-[crowd cheering, applauding]
Wow, Stephanie McMahon,
ladies and gentlemen!
[Stephanie] How's it goin', Casey,
I'm out here for you.
Thanks, I got scared.
[group laughs]
You should be scared.
-You should, you should.
-Oh, cool.
You know, just last night I was inducted
into the WWE Hall of Fame right here
on this very stage.
But tonight, Casey,
it isn't about me.
It's about you.
[crowd cheering, applauding]
Thanks.
So, Casey, it seems
that you're no stranger
to receiving awards, and of course,
you know, the WWE
is extremely prestigious
with the WWE Hall of Fame,
but there is
no more prestigious Hall of Fame
than the well-established
Kill Tony Hall of Fame.
So, congratulations, Casey Rocket.
You are the sixth official member
of the Kill Tony Hall of Fame.
[crowd cheering, applauding]
[Tony] Absolutely awesome.
Thank you, Stephanie McMahon,
for crowning the great Casey Rocket.
Congratulations, buddy,
on a hundred days and a
hundred thousand amazing sets.
You are a firefly of greatness and we
absolutely love
your originality and style.
Casey Rocket, ladies and gentlemen.
[crowd cheering, applauding]
Thanks, y'all.
Keep riffing. I appreciate it.
If you ever look up
at the moon, just know I'm riffing
under the same moon, man.
I appreciate it, y'all.
[Tony] There he goes, Casey Rocket.
One more time
for the great Stephanie McMahon,
ladies and gentlemen.
[crowd cheering, applauding]
Absolutely awesome.
Well, there's only one way
to end a show
like this, and when you start
with William Montgomery, it's
a tough situation, right?
How do you follow all of this?
The return of Casey Rocket
and so many great things
that happened tonight.
Let's not forget our new guy,
Boom Boom, Chris Waldeck,
ladies and gentlemen, receiving
a Golden Ticket tonight.
Casey Rocket going
into the Hall of Fame.
But I got one more little trick up
my sleeve, ladies and gentlemen.
The man is simply an anomaly.
He's the only person in the history
of the show that I've ever
given creative control
to in any way whatsoever.
Sometimes he abuses it.
Let's see what happens here tonight.
I present to you a man
unlike anybody else.
Some say he's a character.
I think it's realer than that.
It's real to me, damn it.
I present to you the powerhouse
unlike any other.
This is Timmy No Brakes!
-[upbeat jazzy music playing]
-[crowd cheering, applauding]
[Tony] Oh my God, there he is!
-[music concludes]
-[crowd cheering, applauding]
Bill Cosby Entertainment.
The Weinstein Company, Kill Tony.
What do all
these businesses have in common?
None of them give their employees
health insurance.
And look, I get it.
It's expensive, you know?
Everybody on the show
is fucking disabled.
Tone has AIDS and he's fighting,
he's fighting every day.
Casey has fucking lead poisoning
from swallowing fifty
thousand Dutchman's Keys, okay?
William is a redhead, fucking, look
at Redban, I don't know.
D-Madness is fucking black, you know?
[crowd laughing]
And I have a horse cock.
On that table is a contract
that on this night will be signed by Tone,
and it will give me health insurance.
I will read from said contract.
Start the timer, Redban.
This agreement is entered between
So I have to include our real names
for this.
Timothy No Brakes.
And Tony Statutory Hinchcliffe.
Timothy will appear on Kill Tone
where he will perform minutes,
interviews, and like, fuck Heidi and shit.
[crowd laughing]
Okay, Heidi, if you're not cool
with that, just come out and let me know.
Okay, great.
That's fucking great.
In exchange for services rendered,
he will get
health insurance, five "ya gays"
per appearance,
and most importantly,
ten panel appearances per year
for the next ten years
or until I get SNL, okay?
How do we fucking feel about that?
[crowd cheering]
Tone, let's sign the contract.
Come over here.
Yes, sign the contract, Tone.
[Tony] No.
Why? What's your problem?
[Tony] Because I'm not signing a contract.
Why? What about his fucking--
That contract's crazy.
I'm not going to sign it.
It's not. What's crazy about it?
The panel shit?
-Yeah. I mean
-Why is that crazy?
I mean, you know, I like
to have creative control, Timmy.
I got to book the thing.
I have to envision it.
-I have to
-[crowd booing]
Here's what I'll say.
Shut the fuck up, guys.
I got this.
Every fucking time
I see the same panel people
on every episode.
Pauly Shore has been
on the fucking panel
like five times.
That guy's a has-been.
That guy's a never-was.
What?
-He's a never-was.
-[Pauly] Boo.
[Tony] Oh shit.
It's Pauly Shore.
[crowd cheering, applauding]
Yo, why are you fucking
pushing this motherfucker?
Don't push him.
You're lucky you're
on the stage, dude.
You should be kissing his ring, dude.
Guys like you and Cam Patterson
and William Montgomery
and all these
fucking guys have careers
because of this guy.
You're lucky you're even
in the fucking building, dude.
This guy is the Mitzi Shore, my mom
who started The Comedy Store.
Many years ago,
who started Richard Pryor,
Robin Williams, all
these people, this is the guy
of this generation.
Don't push contracts on him.
That's not fucking cool, dude.
I'm gonna say one thing, and that's
that I didn't understand
a single fucking thing
you said, you gay Californian.
Okay?
All I'm saying is because of Kill Tony,
there's a lot of young comics.
You know what?
If anything, I should be the one
that's fucking pissed off, dude.
I saw his show.
Give it up for Kill Tony,
one of the best shows ever.
-[crowd cheering]
-I saw his show recently.
I think it was
New Year's Eve or something.
And I saw fucking Carrot Top, bro.
Fucking Carrot Top.
This guy, Carrot Top.
I started freaking out
on this guy, Carrot Top.
[Tony] Oh shit!
What the fuck?
Fuck.
This guy.
This guy. How are you?
I didn't mean to. You know I didn't mean--
I said I like you. I like you.
You're cool, dude.
-We've never been together this close.
-I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Give it up for Carrot Top.
I didn't mean to say that.
I'm sorry.
[Tony] Oh my God.
The 2026 guest of the year. Carrot Top.
Co-guest of the year.
What's up, Jeffrey Ross?
Hell yeah.
Look at his cop-- Look at this.
He's like a fucking federal agent.
Fuck. I love that.
Boom.
[Tony] Welcome, Carrot Top.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm sorry, dude.
He was mad that I was Guest
of the Year, and he said,
why was I Guest of the Year?
Which, by the way,
wasn't Guest of the Year.
It was Guests of the Year.
Yeah.
The trophy said Guest,
and it was Rob Schneider and me.
[Jeff] Is this guy a vegetable?
No, I had my I had my
He's a fucking retard.
Stop fucking around.
This isn't a retirement home party.
I want you to sign the contract.
[Pauly] See, this is all the way.
I took this all the way
from the Luxor just
for this moment.
I'm so sorry.
I actually really
I love Carrot Top.
-We do love each other.
-You gotta see his show at the Luxor.
No, get out of there. Stop doing that.
That was funny.
That was actually pretty funny.
He deserves it.
He deserves it, right?
Pauly Shore, everybody.
God bless Pauly Shore.
We've been friends for
Yeah, a long fucking time.
Speaking of old, we are fucking old.
[Tony] I love you guys.
I love you.
And these guys respect me, Timmy.
They're not like you out here,
out of control and greased up
and whatever's going on over here.
Whatever. I don't fucking care, Tone.
You got to sign this contract,
and I'm not doing the show anymore.
I'm not signing the contract.
So what are we going
to do about it, Tone?
Are you saying I'm off the show?
I mean, I'm going to tell you this.
You were a regular,
and if you want to,
I'll downgrade you
to being a bronze ticket winner.
You know what?
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
I don't need this fucking show.
I'm bigger than this show.
I'm bigger than this fucking audience.
You guys disgust me.
All you guys look
like fat fucking slobs.
Every time I'm looking at
This fucking guy is a virgin.
This guy's never fucked in his life.
Look at all you guys.
I've been seeing you
all weekend running after people
in the casino who are oiled up
and jacked, you fucking
[Pauly] Get him out of here.
Get him out of here.
like it's a fucking belt, fuck you,
and fuck you.
Look at these poors up here,
I can't even fucking see you poor people.
I have to get on a fucking chair
to look at every one
of you poor motherfuckers.
I have one thing to say and that's that
fuck you, Kill Tony audience.
-[crowd cheering]
-And fuck you, Wrestlemania!
I don't give a shit.
Oh, you're applauding for me now?
[Tony] Oh shit.
What's up?
[Tony] Holy fuck.
Oh, shit.
[chuckles] Make some noise
for Triple H, everybody!
[crowd cheering, applauding]
Fuck yes.
[laughs]
["The Game" playing]
It's all about the game
And how you play it
Hell yeah.
All about control
And if you can take it
My man.
The great Triple H.
It's all about pain
Putting on an unbelievable
WrestleMania weekend for everybody.
How fucking awesome is this, huh?
I am heavy debts
No way you can pay me
Did you guys have fun tonight?
-[crowd cheering]
-Look over your shoulder ready to run
Like a good little bitch
From a smoking gun
Hello, one more time
for everybody you saw,
all the regulars, Casey Rocket,
the new Golden Ticket winner
Chris Waldeck, Dedrick Flynn,
everybody, thanks to the WWE,
make sure you watch Raw out tonight,
WrestleMania, re-watch it.
One more time for Jeff Ross,
make sure you see
Take a Banana for the Ride.
It's the greatest special
on Netflix right now
and uh, and the roast
on May 10th, no doubt about it, live.
Netflix live, The Roast of Kevin Hart.
Thank you Tony, what a fun fun night.
[Tony] Absolutely, yes,
and, uh, one more time
for The Undertaker everyone.
[crowd cheering]
Make sure you check out his podcast,
uh, Six Feet Below.
-It's, uh--
-Fuck!
It's Six Feet Fucking Under
with The Undertaker!
Shit! God!
-Oh shit!
-[crowd cheering]
-["Rest In Peace" playing]
-[crowd cheering, applauding]
Holy shit! Holy shit!
Holy Holy shit.
[crowd cheering, applauding]
[Redban] Holy shit.
[bell tolling]
-[crowd cheering, applauding]
-[Redban chattering, laughing]