Kiss the Bride (2002) Movie Script
Geoff.
(SOBBING)
Geoff.
(SIGHS)
Geoff!
DANNI:
That's me,
Danni Sposato.
You know, people say
your wedding is supposed to be
the happiest day of your life.
I'm not so sure.
(WOMAN SPEAKING IN ITALIAN)
Sweetheart, you're gonna...
You need to use more. Just
a little more flour next time.
All right, Mom.
More flour.
Good. Good.
Good. Good.
God, I can't believe
I'm getting married.
(CHUCKLING)
I remember the first time
I met Geoff.
I went to early mass
one Sunday
and there he was.
And he was just so...
So into it,
and he looked so sweet
and... I just about died.
I don't know...
Do you remember the first time
I brought him home
to meet you?
I do. I remember him.
You remember.
Do you remember, Grandma?
Danni is asking you,
do you remember?
Do you remember Geoffrey?
Yeah.
With the bad breath.
You know, Grandma,
I'm marrying Geoff
in three days.
Bad breath and all.
Well, that's a heck of
a lot of work.
Does he have good hands?
You can always tell a man
by his hands.
Breath you can fix,
but hands you can't.
Your grandpa
has beautiful hands.
I hope that your sisters
are gonna eat this pasta.
It's gonna be
perfect, Mom. Come on.
DANNI:
Growing up,
my older sister Niki
was the smart one.
She got straight A's and was
the class valedictorian,
which got her into Harvard.
And on top of that,
Niki was also beautiful.
Oh, and talented.
Then there was Chrissy.
Chrissy was always
getting into trouble.
Maybe she just wanted
to be different from Niki.
She was always skipping
school, or, when she went,
she'd end up
in the principal's office.
Mom and Dad
were constantly
at the school
to talk about her bad grades
and her bad behavior.
And then there was
my youngest sister, Toni.
By the time she was 10,
Toni realized
she had to outdo Chrissy
as the family rebel,
so she started her own
rock band.
Bite me!
Toni would belt out Joan Jett
and Hole in our living room,
turning her amp up
really high so we were
all sure to hear her.
I don't know, maybe we all
spent those years
just struggling to be heard.
(ITALIAN SONG
PLAYING ON RADIO)
(SINGING IN ITALIAN)
Hey, Santo! Santo!
(SPEAKING IN ITALIAN)
What, Pop?
This need more shit.
(MUSIC BLARING ON CAR STEREO)
What did you do,
go and get a Buick?
Hi.
It's your granddaughter.
Your granddaughter. Chrissy.
It's my granddaughter!
Hey, Chrissy!
Hi, cutie.
Oh, my God! Hi, Chrissy!
How you doing?
Geoff.
Hey.
I'm good.
How's my dad
been treating you?
It's okay at the store?
Yeah, things are good.
He's getting old, you know.
Holy shit, is that real?
Oh, my God, it's beautiful!
Not as beautiful
as the one
that's wearing it.
Thanks, Daddy.
SANTO: Who's that?
Wonder Woman.
Who do you think?
Chrissy. Chrissy...
Chrissy, it's your...
(SQUEALING)
Niki! Oh, my God!
God, you're skinny!
You're skinnier
than you are on TV.
It's 'cause
the camera adds
10 pounds.
Hello. Everybody,
this is Marty,
my manager.
Hello, family.
Hey, guys,
it's the Sposato
Family Special!
With Ma's homemade
sausage gravy.
Danni, you're really
going all-out here.
Yeah, we spent all day
slaving over this.
Everyone help yourself.
Look at this. Plus the band.
What's the difference
between an Italian mother
and a Jewish mother?
Danni, why don't you
help me in the kitchen?
Mom, what do I keep telling
you about the women-waiting-
on-the-men thing around here?
I got it.
Thank you, Geoff.
Okay. What?
Oh! Okay,
an Italian mother says,
"If you don't eat your food,
I'll kill you,"
and a Jewish mother says,
"If you don't eat your food,
I'll kill myself."
(ALL LAUGHING)
Nicoletta,
you have a boyfriend?
SANTO: Mama...
That's Christina.
Chrissy.
Oh. Yeah.
I got the baccala and nuts.
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
And... I got the smelts.
What's smelts?
Oh. Try one. They're great.
Okay.
(ALL LAUGHING)
(STAMMERS) Do you got
a boyfriend or don't you?
No, Grandma.
I do not have a boyfriend.
Really?
That one...
She got a boyfriend there.
And Danni.
Danni found a love, too.
Yeah.
Well, I have
more important things
to worry about, okay?
Like a company to run.
(SPEAKING ITALIAN)
Why is he talking in Italian?
We're in America now,
don't you know that?
Okay. Danni,
you're gonna say grace.
In the name of the Father,
the Son and the Holy Spirit.
Well, I guess
I just wanna say
how much it means to me
to have you guys here.
And I couldn't get married
without you.
I just hope
Toni gets here soon.
I'm really excited
to hang out with you
and spend time with you.
And it means the world
to me for you to
get to know Geoff better.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
And thank you, Lord,
for this home-cooked meal.
Maybe it's God
calling you back, right?
MARTY: Hello? No, no, no.
Not Long Island, Rhode Island.
Yeah, where the guy spent
half his term taking bribes
and half giving them.
(SPEAKING ITALIAN)
Look, I'm in the middle
of an intimate
family dinner here.
Who's he talking to?
Mama, that's California.
California!
Madonna mia.
Grandma, remember
Niki's an actress.
She's on the television.
Oh...
So, Nik, how'd you get
on
Pacific Black?
Oh, um...
Well, it started
a few weeks
after I met Marty.
He became my manager,
and he's the best.
And he got me in to read
for the casting director.
There were, like,
1,500 girls
up for the role.
So, um, I kept going back in.
I kind of had an edge
because they wanted
somebody who was smart.
I'm happy to see you're
taking advantage of your
120K Harvard education, Niki.
CHRISSY: Very impressive.
Guess who's here...
(MOTORCYCLE ACCELERATING)
I, um...
I went in and I had to read
in front of 10 producers and
all the network executives,
so it was this room
just filled with pressure.
You got it, though.
So, you guys are gonna stay
at my new place in Watch Hill,
right?
I don't...
Oh, yeah. Absolutely.
What are you gonna do
with two houses anyway?
One's an apartment, Mom.
And we can't exactly
all stay here.
Why?
What's the matter with here?
Hi!
ALL: Toni!
Everybody, I want you
to meet my friend Amy.
ALL: Hi, Amy.
Who's that little boy?
His name's Amy, Grandma.
Hi, Nik.
I don't know you.
Hi.
It's nice to meet you.
(WHISPERS)
Is your sister a lesbian?
I think so. Yeah.
Hi, Grandma.
Hello, sweetie.
How are you?
I'm bene.
SANTO: It's good of you
to show up.
TONI: With so many groupies,
we couldn't get away,
you know.
(SPEAKING ITALIAN)
(SPEAKING ITALIAN)
ALL:
Salute.
(PIANO PLAYING)
(SINGING IN ITALIAN)
(ALL SINGING)
(PLAYING PIANO OFF TUNE)
(PIANO THUNDERING)
You're a goddamn disgrace,
you know that?
I'm not your
little kid anymore...
Get out. Get out.
...you can push around
whenever you want.
Come back when you
have some respect, okay?
TONI: Amy, let's go.
Um, it was really nice
meeting you guys.
Welcome home.
(SEAGULLS CAWING)
(HONKING)
Hi, sweetie.
Good morning.
Good morning.
How are you feeling
after last night?
Dad's never gonna
change, is he?
He's just excited
to see everyone,
that's all.
Wait, hold on.
My baby's coming with.
What happened
to our binding time?
You mean our bonding...
Whatever.
I want you to
get to know Marty.
He's really important to me.
(GRUNTS)
Good morning, Marty.
Morning.
So what do you think
of Chrissy's little
beach cottage, Marty?
(CHUCKLES)
She's got some good taste.
I like her Basquiat.
And those...
Those blot paintings
were pretty cool.
Yeah, well, I guess.
I've never really been
into that stuff,
but Chrissy's wicked proud.
Oh, yeah, you think?
Do you remember we used to sit
out there on the beach
and wonder who in the world
got to have houses like these?
Yeah. Hooray for Chrissy.
So, are you from LA, Marty?
Yeah. Yeah,
born and raised.
Okay, tell me. Do you guys
have those parties, you know,
with movie stars
and paparasi or...
(LAUGHING)
Paparazzi.
You mean paparazzi.
You know, stuff like that.
Yeah, it's part
of the job, Dan.
DANNI: Cool!
Who do you guys know?
MARTY: Who don't we know?
Do you know, like,
Schwarzenegger?
Yup.
Wow. Stallone?
Uh-huh.
But they're movie guys.
Television's where it's at.
Television just reaches
so many more people, Dan.
Well, you know, I mean,
I guess if you think about
all those hours people spend
in front of a TV, just...
Exactly.
Like you.
NIKI: Where are we going?
Come on. Terranova's?
Any relation to Tom?
(CLEARS THROAT)
NIKI: Wasn't this
Palermo's Drugs?
Hey, Tom.
Danni.
Hi, Niki.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
NIKI: Oh, um...
Um, this is Marty.
What is it?
How's it going, buddy?
Fine. How are you?
All right.
Isn't that your job?
So, uh, you girls hungry?
Yeah. Sure.
Yeah.
MARTY: I can't talk right now.
I'm sitting down to breakfast.
Niki!
Hi!
Hi, you guys.
You look so skinny.
Oh, my God.
(ALL CHATTERING)
Your hair's so long!
Like we didn't know
you were going places,
Miss Most Likely To Succeed!
It's good
to see you.
The jacket!
Niki, I am so sorry.
I have no idea
how they found out
you'd be here.
It's fine.
I guess I'm not the only one
who's glad you're home.
Oh, thank you, sweetie.
(DANNI GIGGLING)
Here you go.
Buon appetito.
Oh, can I get a bottle of
water for the table...
Flat, if you got it.
Yes. Coming up.
This was always his dream.
Some people shoot
for the middle.
(HEAVY ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
I love the ocean.
It is so powerful
and then so peaceful.
I like it more
when it's rough.
Oh, that's 'cause
you're rough, right?
At least you try to be.
Look, if you feel
like you have to act
like this big rebellious bitch
while you're home,
that's fine, but I think
it's a waste of time.
And don't use me
as one of your props.
TONI: Are you kidding me?
How fucking cliche.
(HEAVY ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
That's right.
You like that?
Mmm-hmm.
Good morning,
chicas.
You didn't touch my papers,
did you?
Papers?
Excellent.
(EXCLAIMS)
Hello, vacation time.
Everybody enjoying my castle?
Yeah.
TONI: Beats staying
at Mom and Dad's.
I don't think that would
have been an option for
you last night, sweetie.
Yeah I know, I really wish
Dad would just fuck off
and leave me alone.
Relax.
What, you like the guy now?
Why wouldn't I?
I'm finally living up
to my potential.
I'm gonna go get
some more weed.
So, uh...
What do you, um...
Amelia, is it?
Amy.
I'll play out
with your sister.
She's so amazing.
You should really hear
some of her original stuff.
So we play out local,
you know, around Providence.
Yeah, there's a really
cool scene there now.
Toni, what the hell
are you doing?
What happened to Phil?
Amy's rooted.
We share something real.
Real?
What do you care?
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
How're we doing, Guy?
We still up?
Pull yourself together, Guy.
Which one?
So short more of it.
Get your average up.
God, I just feel
so wicked nervous, you know?
There's just so much to do.
Everyone's coming over
to cook their own specialties
for Saturday night.
And I have to be
really calm, you know.
Are you gonna eat that?
Oh, yeah. You can have
as much as you want, sweetie.
And then Mom and I
have to meet the florist.
What kind of flowers
are you gonna have?
Pink. Pink roses.
And then Geoff's
gonna come over
after he finishes up
closing the store so we
can meet with the priest.
Is everything okay?
Yeah, it's perfect.
I just hope I can still
fit in my Mom's dress.
I mean, jeez,
it's already tight as it is.
That is so cute.
You're wearing Mom's dress.
I know, right? What else am I
gonna wear? It's so beautiful.
Girls...
You almost ready?
I got that...
Got a conference call
at 11:00.
Then I wanna check out
these famous beaches of yours.
Dan?
Mmm.
Okay.
Just let me pay for breakfast.
No, no, no.
Breakfast is on me, please.
That's all right.
I got it taken care of.
It's on me. Thank you.
It's nice to see you, Tom.
It's good to see you,
too, Nik.
GIRL: Niki!
I guess they liked it.
(TONI PLAYING GUITAR)
Hey, guys.
Whatcha playing?
What do you want to hear?
Do you know,
Let Me Call You Sweetheart?
Oh, yeah, we rock that one
all the time.
I'm sure Grandma does.
AMY: Play it for your sister.
Come on.
Let me call you sweetheart
I'm in love with you
Let me hear you whisper...
You're just gonna have
to fire them up, man.
We've got this guy for months.
Don't stop.
We weren't planning to.
Let me call you sweetheart
I'm in love with you
MARTY: No, wait!
Let me hear you whisper...
Are you kidding me?
Hey. How was breakfast?
Did you meet
Tom's new girlfriend?
Chrissy!
CHRISSY: What?
Niki obviously doesn't care
about him anymore.
So, who would like
to throw around
the old pigskin?
I better get going.
Do you need any help?
Jesus Christ! Toni.
DANNI: No, no.
It's really all right.
It's just enough
knowing you guys
are all here.
All right, then
we'll see you at 2:00.
Okay, how about
Chrissy and I,
versus the bunch of you.
Great.
I never worry about the rain
It's gonna come anyway
Come on, come on, come on!
(GRUNTING)
Throw water on my face
awake
Today
Today is the day to play
I got the sun up in the sky
So high
Oh, yeah.
I got it. I got it.
And it'll be until I die
Goodbye
And how I live
My little life
You suck!
It all doesn't matter
To the sky at all
Catch the ball
And I don't know
What's around the corner
I just know
What I can see from here
And I let go
Follow the flow of the river
AMY: That's right!
To wherever it goes
I choose the people
that I meet, just like
Let me have the ball.
When things are getting
Strange like today
I wouldn't have it
Any other way
Oh, yeah.
(WHOOPS)
I'm driving down
my own road, alone
I grab hold of the wheel
I can feel
What's the matter,
sore loser?
Don't you wanna play?
ANNOUNCER:
Coming from Boston,
it's Garcia. Lifetime career
batting average 412...
Excuse me. Hello.
My daughter says
we absolutely...
Geoffrey,
let me see you out back.
All right.
I'll be right there.
Okay? Thank you.
That's great. Thank you.
Something wrong?
I wanted a minute
with my new
son-in-law, that's all.
You're the first one,
you know.
And believe me,
with all my girls,
I always wanted to have
another man around the house.
Here, take the keys.
What's the matter?
You don't want them, huh?
No, no. I want them.
I didn't expect them
for a long time, though.
You know,
these last couple years,
you've been so good to me.
You've been
like a father to me.
You're a good kid, Geoffrey.
And Pepe's gonna be
very happy that we keep
the business in the family.
Well, I'm gonna
make him proud.
I'm gonna make
the both of you proud.
We are proud. Here.
These are the very fancy ones
from the Dominican Republic.
(MUFFLED)
Puff. Puff.
Good.
Good.
Sit down in my office.
NIKI: Tom!
Think you can
still beat me?
Hey.
Hey.
What are you doing
on this side of town?
What are you talking about?
This is the same path
you and I always
used to run on.
It was really good
seeing you today.
Yeah. It was good
seeing you, too.
So, how are things
at your sister's?
Good.
Yeah?
Is, uh, Marty
your boyfriend?
Yes.
What about you?
I hear you have a girlfriend.
Girlfriend?
Yeah, Chrissy said
you have a girlfriend.
No, I've been...
I'm gonna kill her.
...way too tied up
at the restaurant.
It's overwhelming,
actually. It's...
But everybody in town
has been more than supportive.
Yeah, it's beautiful there.
I gotta tell you, you...
You really inspired me.
Just knowing you back then.
When we broke up,
you were so dead-set
on chasing your dream.
Whatever happened to that?
What do you mean?
Your dream.
Tom, I...
I'm on a TV show.
Haven't you watched it?
I've tried.
You know what?
Why don't you hang out with
my dad and not watch it.
Can I tell you the truth?
Man to man?
Sure.
The girls used to
respect me.
They loved me.
I was a hero.
I could tell by the look
in their pretty little eyes.
Then they...
They started to grow up.
They got mad at me.
Then mad at each other.
So now, everybody's mad.
Not Danni.
Danni I feel bad about.
I tried to get through to her
to get out of Rhode Island
so she could see
what the world's like.
No, no.
Hey, I don't mean that.
She was always
the happiest kid.
And now she's the one
that loves me the most.
They all love you.
They're lucky to have a father
who cares so much.
They just don't show it
as good as Danni does.
(CHUCKLES)
(WHIRRING)
Hand me that flour,
will you?
What time are you
gonna go to see her,
Grandma Virginia?
As soon as
we're finished up here.
Ooh, we better hurry up
if we're gonna
change our clothes.
What are we gonna
change our clothes for anyway?
It's a wake.
She's dead already.
Hey, I thought we were
only making the desserts.
You guys,
this is too much.
I told you not to go crazy.
(SPEAKS ITALIAN)
What are we gonna do,
eat catered food
at the wedding?
Terranova's isn't exactly
catered food, Aunt Speed.
AUNT SPEED:
It's a restaurant, ain't it?
The family ain't gonna
eat that kind of stuff.
You know that.
Only the Americans.
They don't know
the difference.
I thought you loved
Terranova's.
The Sposatos always
cook and bake
for their own weddings.
Honey, it gives them pleasure,
so let them do it.
Where are your sisters?
Well, I told them not to
come. It's crazy enough
here as it is.
When's the others
getting married, huh, Dan?
You tell them they better
do it quick if they want
Aunt Minnie's
pizzelli cookies.
I ain't gonna last
that much longer.
What are you making, Danisa?
I'm making a big cake,
Grandma.
I see. How come?
'Cause I'm getting married,
remember?
To the guy
with good hands.
Yeah. Yeah.
With the breath?
(LAUGHS) Yeah.
It makes me so sad.
Grammie. I know.
Just hope when she
stares off like that,
she goes someplace nice.
I'm getting married
to the prettiest girl
Geoff!
In Westerly...
He gave me the keys!
Oh, my God!
(SCREAMS)
AUNT MINNIE:
He gave you the keys!
How beautiful!
Don't hurt yourself.
Here's your scarf.
Oh, I'm all set. Thanks.
What are you doing?
This'll be the first time
one of us can get laid
officially.
The least I can do
is record the historic event.
Chris!
Where's the little lesbian?
I don't know. She said
she was meeting us here.
(BAND PLAYING A SLOW SONG)
Where do you want it, baby?
How about right here?
I'll give it to you there,
honey.
You ain't never
had it before.
I don't think so, honey.
I... I'll clean the table
with your ass.
Oh, let's do it! Come on!
Break it up! Break it up!
(SINGING)
Mamma mia,
you're Santo's little one.
What the heck happened to you?
Hey, Phil, get over here.
You see the big guy?
Yeah.
Boy, is he in for a surprise.
Phil!
Who's Phil?
Are you still causing trouble?
Hey.
Hi.
Thought you were gonna be
too big to play
in this shithole anymore.
I go where they listen.
Hi.
Hey.
Nice to meet you, too.
I gotta go.
(BLESSING IN ITALIAN)
(ALL CHANTING)
The Lord grants
that Danisa and...
DANNI: Geoffrey.
JULIA: Geoffrey,
Geoffrey. Right.
That they...they begin
to live in the sacrament
of marriage, uh...
And may they share
this bed as the token
of your gifts of love.
And, uh, dear Lord,
please bless Danni
so she will be
a good wife and mother,
caring for the home,
loving and faithful
for her husband.
And kind and generous,
carrying his name with honor.
Mom...
Women don't carry
their husbands' names anymore.
(GASPS)
Is that really
what you want, Danni?
It would make me proud
to be like Mom.
(WOMEN EXCLAIMING)
Fine.
(CONTINUES CHANTING)
Amen.
ALL: Amen.
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
AMY: It seemed like
the bed blessing
was important to Danni,
and I can't believe
you just blew it off
like that.
Come on, baby, let's not talk
about my fucked up life
or my fucked up family
anymore.
Look at it up here!
Oh, my God. It's awesome.
(TONI WHOOPS)
So cool!
You gotta stop holding on
to your baggage.
We've all got baggage.
Life is about letting it go,
you know.
So we can be here now.
Do you think you can do that?
I can try.
Do you know
you make me
crazy sometimes?
You want to roll?
Hmm?
E. I got white Buddhas.
Oh, yeah?
Mmm. I feel like I could
blow off into the Universe.
Kinda puts things
in perspective.
Hey, shit for brains,
shut up and listen to me.
My dog likes to pee
every morning
at 7:00 a.m., so...
If you show up at 7:15, 7:30,
chances are Elvis has already
pissed in the house.
You better get with it, kid.
Hi, baby.
Hi.
Oh, how was the, uh,
that bed-blessing thing?
Oh, it was, um...
Honey, if you wanna go home
to LA, you can. Really.
What are you talking about?
I'm having a great time.
Oh, yeah, I can see that.
Your family's kind of fun.
Kind of fun?
Yeah. Your mom's an exquisite
cook, your sisters are cute
like you.
Marty, I brought you here
because I wanted you
to meet my family.
Because I thought maybe
it would help you understand
where I come from.
Uh-huh.
Marty, I thought
that it might help us.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah. What...what time
is our flight on Sunday?
Party!
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
(WHOOPING)
Okay, who's next?
Who's next?
Chrissy. Chrissy, this is
your opportunity.
Get out of here.
I'm all set,
thank you very much.
Go, bring that little
tough guy over here.
No! Put me down!
(MUMBLING ANGRILY)
You're beautiful,
you know that?
Move.
PHIL: All right.
TONI: Fuck it.
(WOMAN GRUNTS)
(SCREAMS)
Yeah, one, two,
three, four, five...
(WHOOPING)
ALL: (CHANTING)
Danni! Danni! Danni! Danni!
MARTY: Guys, guys, guys!
The show's starting!
Let's go! Come on!
MARTY: Come on!
Are you okay?
Yeah, Marty.
I just don't wanna
watch the show right now.
MAN: Oh!
DANNI: Oh, yeah.
Those aren't real.
Hey, hey...
Wait, wait, wait!
(ALL CHEERING)
DANNI: Niki!
Niki! Come here!
(INCOHERENT CHATTERING)
Oh, man. You're hot.
You must work out
like a madman.
She does.
She works out all the time.
I know, right?
Wish I could look like that.
Why? You're beautiful
the way you are.
Okay, I'm gonna
take Tower 18.
Right. I'm gonna go check out
those hot guys over there.Vera.
Just kidding, Officer Daisy.
You know what I like
best about this show?
The storyline.
What storyline?
That's her point, dick head.
(ALL LAUGHING)
MAN: Seriously.
Are her tits real?
DANNI: Yes, they are.
CHRISSY: No, they're not.
Backup to Tower 18.
I've got a 4-11 in progress.
Copy that.
The problem won't
go away by ignoring it.
You should
watch it with me.
We'll talk about it later.
Santo. What?
I've listened to you.
I've respected you in this
for too long.
But you don't want to
talk about it.
You're always doing
the right thing,
the girls are fine.
She was always so smart.
So... So put together.
She should be running
the country, not parading
around on television half...
I'm talking about
all the girls.
You shut Niki out,
you threw Toni away...
Chrissy's gotta act like
a man... We can't keep
pushing them.
They're adults now.
They... They have
the right to be free.
All we can do
is love and support them.
You keep saying "we."
Stop saying "we."
You mean me.
Isn't that right?
Isn't it?
No. I fell short.
I put your needs
ahead of theirs.
How dare you blame me
for every goddamn thing...
I'm responsible!
...that goes on wrong
in this family?
Hey.
A little too much
for you, too?
Yeah, it's pretty
fuckin' embarrassing.
No kidding.
That's not even acting.
That's...
When's she gonna step up,
man, and start taking herself
seriously?
When are you gonna start
taking yourself seriously?
Here we go.
I know, Chrissy.
You're the big success story,
okay?
I know.
Actually, my fund's
getting crushed this year.
A lot of people
have lost a lot
of money already.
I even had to
sell my apartment.
Really?
Oh. Who gives a shit?
I'm gonna quit
in a year anyway.
Leave it to the other millions
of freaks on Wall Street.
I thought you loved your job.
I lied.
(LAUGHS)
What about this rap
you keep giving me
about getting my shit together
and going back to college?
Toni...
You have a gift that nobody
can take away from you.
Okay?
People love to listen
to you sing.
Don't cop out on me,
all right?
Come on, you guys!
Come on!
(ALL SCREAMING)
Looks like we're gonna
go skinny-dipping, I think.
Let's do it!
Come on!
Now my back is to the wall
Now my heart is not in me
Now let's see
What I can find
I wanna get out
I wanna get out
So take this time
To imagine life without me,
Honey
When all your threats
I've realized
CHRISSY:
Hey, sell-out! We're gonna
do the dresses. Get in here!
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Are we filled?
Right. I know.
It's totally outdated.
Right?
I keep telling her it's not
healthy to have sex with only
one guy for your entire life.
That's why the divorce rate's
so high in this country.
Okay, enough small talk.
Call down to the floor
and get me a look
on letter "T."
So I guess Dad's just
gonna disappear
every time I come over.
It's fine with me.
I think I'm gonna get
a boob job.
What do you guys think?
Baby?
Baby?
You wanna know
what I think?
Baby?
Baby?
I think you need
to grow up.
I think you're so busy trying
to be cool and provocative
that you're, like,
stuck at age 15.
I think that you are
selfish and narcissistic
and a bitch.
I am so sorry that
I won't be able to be here
for your big day, Danni.
And since your sister
won't bother telling you,
you're an example
for all of us.
You are kind and generous
and truly beautiful.
When I first met you,
I actually envied
your recklessness.
And your guts.
But it's all a fraud.
You don't care about me.
You never cared about me.
I fell in love with you.
And you were just using me
to get attention.
You're leaving?
Amy! Wait!
I do care!
What about all those
orgasms you had?
Look, it's Santo's little one!
I faked them.
Hi, Dad.
Oh, Daddy,
I love that movie.
I wanna be just like her.
Well, one of these days,
Nicoletta.
One of these days you will.
(SPEAKS ITALIAN)
Here.
To the next Sophia Loren, huh?
You gonna make them cry?
You're gonna make
them laugh and share,
share your deepest feelings.
I'm gonna change the world.
That's right, baby doll.
You sure are.
Did I ever tell you
how my dad used to take me
to the Italian movies at
the old Knickerbocker Theater?
Of course.
You used to love Fellini,
and...
(WHISPERS) De Sica.
De Sica. Is that right?
Yeah.
Well, I walked by
there today
and I remembered why
I wanted to be an actress
in the first place.
I think once you make
a bad choice,
you don't notice
when all the other ones just
kind of slink in afterward.
Let me cook for you.
Yeah.
I think it's either there
or maybe just where we're at,
but it's like drying out
my skin on my face.
It is.
Maybe.
Can you see?
You were the guys
that ordered the martinis.
Excellent. Thank you.
So, do you like boats?
Not really, but it's the only
place in this shithole town
I can get a decent martini.
They begged me to join.
They know
I'm a big swinging dick
on Wall Street.
Oh, right. Right. Right.
Yeah, you're playing
with the big boys.
I'm winning. My fund's
at 100 mil after two years.
Most guys it takes like
10 years to get to this point,
if they ever do.
That's... That's beautiful.
You're amazing.
That's not a turn-off for you?
No. No.
On the contrary,
it's a novelty.
I'm used to dealing
with actresses who melt down
if I don't tell them
what to do
every second of the day.
Oh, and then telling them
how great they are
at doing it.
How are things going
with you two?
You mean, between
your sister and me?
Well, to be honest with you,
I think she's kind of
going through
her own thing right now.
I'm feeling
a little unnecessary.
Join the club.
(SPEAKING ITALIAN)
(MAN CHATTERING ON RADIO)
Grandpa, I got no idea
what you're talking about, eh?
Babe Ruth.
Babe Ruth. All right.
Where'd your sisters go,
sweetie?
To Looney Land. Who knows?
I just really wanted
everything to be perfect.
Well, God wanted the world
to be perfect,
but He gave us free will.
What, Ma?
You can hope that
people will do
what you want them to do.
You could even try
to change them.
But in the end,
they do what they wanna do.
Where's Grandma?
(LUIGI SPEAKING ITALIAN)
I got us some nice tomatoes
for the gravy.
If Mama's so fine, what's
she doing in Luigi's garden?
It looks like
a piece of art.
Well, it's food,
so eat it.
Oh, God. It looks good.
Mmm... Mmm.
Mmm, mmm. That's good.
Come on.
Oh, my God.
Just like old times, huh?
Yeah. Except now you're
living your dream instead of
just talking about it.
Well, you could be, too.
You don't even know, Tom.
LA is such
a lonely place.
When I first got there,
I was banging on
all these doors
and I was meeting
all these people, hoping
that somebody would...
Would see something in me,
but they didn't.
So, what?
So, I changed, okay?
And it's really disgusting
when your fate is in everybody
else's hands but your own.
No. No, no, no. Niki.
Your fate is never
in anyone else's hands.
Unless you give it to them.
You're the same Niki
you were 10 years ago.
You're so smart and talented.
For whatever reason,
you've just convinced yourself
that you're not.
It's not that easy, Tom.
Marty was the first person
who was ever even there
for me.
Right.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Looks like
nobody's back yet.
That's okay by me.
And how about you?
Say, have you seen
my bedroom yet?
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Oh, is that you?
No. I think that's you.
This is going to be
the most special night
of our lives.
Hey, come on, now.
Not in front of
the linguine.
Hey. What's the matter?
Nothing.
Hmm?
I'm just feeling
a little worried,
that's all.
All right,
you wanna check them?
No. About my sisters.
I just wish they could be
a little bit nicer, you know?
And I know I should just
love them and accept them
for who they are,
but I just don't. I can't.
I'm starting to think
my whole family
is impossible.
Your sisters are
a little loony,
but you're lucky.
Your mother and father
love you more than anything.
Oh, God,
you just don't understand.
Yeah, I don't understand.
You know the one time
I remember
my father being there?
It was my little league
championship game.
Bottom of the ninth,
and I step up to the bat.
The crowd's cheering.
I look over,
and there's my swearing,
drunk father in the crowd.
And I struck out.
Lost the championship.
Then, after the game,
he comes over,
and I'm with all my teammates.
And he calls me a fuckup.
So, believe me.
There's hope
with your family.
TONI: (SINGING)
Something's...
Something's on its way to me
What will I become
if I'm now those on the run?
Those on the run
Something's on its way to me
It's gonna smash my guts
to the wall
But I don't mind
'Cause I think it's time
to be looking
at the truth of it all
I'm lost as I've ever been
And moving my heart
to my skin
I'm killing the girl
That hated the world
And I'm being
what I've never been
What will I become if I'm
now one of those on the run?
What will I be
If I'm suddenly free
Of this gun I carry for fun?
What will I become if I'm
now one of those on the run?
What will I be
if I'm suddenly free
Of this gun
I carry for fun?
So, I'll see you tonight,
right? Dinner?
Yeah. Yeah, I guess,
since I'm cooking it.
Shut up.
All right.
Thanks.
Okay.
You're right. He doesn't
give a shit about me.
Who am I kidding?
And, yes, I'd forgotten how,
how honest this is.
We are.
It's just that I have shit
that I have to take care of,
first, I mean.
I just...
I want you to know.
I better go.
I just...
I just want you to know.
Marty?
Marty?
Yeah, baby. I'm in here.
Taking a bubble bath.
Oh. Marty, put that out.
Where have you been?
Oh, I was just helping
Danni longer than
I thought I would be.
I've been trying to get a hold
of you like crazy.
I got some really big news
for us.
What?
Sit down.
(CLEARS THROAT)
The network wants to do
a spin-off of
Pacific Black,
and they want you
to be their star.
Not Pam, not Britney,
not Cindy, but you, girl.
Are you kidding me?
No, I am not kidding you.
Now, what have I been telling
you for the last two years?
What have I been telling you
for the last two years?
Oh, my God.
Come on.
What have I been telling you?
That's great.
That I was gonna be
a big star.
Was I right or was I right?
You were right.
Come on,
get in this bathtub.
I can't. Sweetie,
I got to take a shower.
We're gonna be late.
No, no, no. Wait.
No. Wait a minute.
I got you something.
I was thinking about us,
and how happy I am
to be with you.
And I got you
a little something-something.
What is it?
It's a gift.
(WHISPERS) Marty.
Oh.
Marty, I need something more.
(MARTY CHUCKLING)
This is Rhode Island.
There is no Tiffany's here.
No, I mean,
from a relationship.
What?
You just don't get it.
(EXHALES)
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
How're you doing,
sweetie?
Can you fix my hair?
It just looks really gross.
So you haven't figured out
how you're gonna wear it
for tomorrow?
Geoff likes it down.
He says
I'm naturally beautiful.
Well, why wouldn't he?
Oh, come on, Mom.
Oh, sweetheart,
you are so beautiful.
Yeah, I know. I know.
I'm beautiful inside.
It's just, Toni and Chrissy
and Niki, you know,
they all know about sex,
and so they just seem
so much sexier.
I don't know.
Tomorrow night's almost here,
and me and Geoff have waited
a really long time, and I...
I don't know.
What if I...
I don't please him?
I was a virgin
when I married your father.
Men used to talk about sex.
You know, brag about it
in the locker room.
I didn't talk about sex.
Not even with my mother,
my sisters,
not even my friends.
Your father and I, we were...
We were very Catholic.
We didn't want to sin.
So, I remember
I was so nervous.
All during my wedding
reception, I kept on thinking,
oh, what's gonna happen
later that night?
And then your father
took me in his arms
and he kissed me.
I thought,
"What was I worrying about?
It was all for nothing."
What's it like?
Oh, it's magic.
It's sharing.
It's a connection.
It is a joining of souls.
It's lovely.
You don't feel guilty
for enjoying it?
Oh! The Church is wrong
about that, Danni. No!
No matter what goes on
in your life,
at night, when you close
your bedroom door,
your marriage bed
is a sanctuary.
(SIGHING)
Your father and I,
we've been through so much,
and when I go to bed
at night, I still
like to look sexy.
(SPEAKS ITALIAN)
You just relax, huh?
Trust.
(SIGHS)
Hey! Hey!
(SPEAKS ITALIAN)
I told you,
we don't eat
restaurant food.
The Sposatos don't eat
the catered food.
To my new daughter.
Everybody drink.
DANNI: Bottoms up!
Paparazzi.
Santo, you need to get
your little rockstar out
of there now.
Hey, Tom. You look good.
The place is wonderful.
Thank you, sir.
Thank you very much.
Niki.
Hi. Hi.
Do you remember Marty?
Yes, of course. How are you?
This is a really
awesome spread.
Thanks. It's especially made
for couples in love.
Yup! That's you guys.
Hi, Mama.
You look beautiful.
So do you.
Thank you.
Hey.
Well. All right, everyone.
Everyone, please.
Everyone, let's sit down
and have a dinner. Okay.
Geoffrey, Geoffrey,
have you...
Hey.
What happened to your friend?
I was being a jerk,
so she left.
It's their loss, anybody
who leaves my little kid.
Come on, let's go eat.
Come on.
(CLINKING)
CHRISSY: Yes?
I just wanna see which one
of the sisters is brave enough
to start us off with a toast.
I don't know
if I'm the bravest, but
I am definitely the oldest.
All right,
ladies and gentlemen.
The not-so-brave Niki Sposato.
Niki.
Come on, Niki.
Okay, listen.
So, I would like to say
that since I've been home,
I've realized
what is important to me.
And watching you and Danni
together has made me
feel jealous.
To be able to just
live so simply.
I'm not surprised, because
you were always the smiling
one and the easy one.
I mean there were
those couple of years
with the Ferraro sisters,
they were calling you
"Fatty" and "Fanny," but...
Okay.
...clearly there are
no signs of that now.
You're so beautiful.
And, Geoff,
it is very apparent
to all of us
that she's found strength
in herself through you
and through your love.
I just wonder how it feels
to just love somebody
like that.
To just trust that that person
is the person that
you're gonna be with
for the rest of your life.
To just say that
and to mean it.
To you guys.
WOMAN:
Salute!
ALL:
Salute!
(ALL CHATTERING)
No, no, Marty, Marty.
Come on, baby.
Marty, no...
Twinklebell wants
to make a toast.
MARTY: Thank you, Auntie...
Speedie.
Thank you, Auntie Speedie.
Thank you.
Before we get into this,
like, whole wedding affair,
I wanted everyone to know
we have a double occasion
to celebrate.
Because of her amazing success
on
Pacific Black,
the network has decided
to offer Niki, Officer Vera,
her very own TV show.
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
So here's to the girl I love.
Officer Vera.
Salute.
(ALL CHEERING)
DANNI: That's great.
Hold on a second, huh?
Great.
Before we toast
my daughter's life away,
I got a question for
the Hollywood-hotshot here.
What kind of man is it
that has the girl he loves...
(WHISPERING) Sit!
...parade around
on television
without any clothes?
Oh, with all due respect,
Mr. S., your daughter
is an amazing success.
She's wealthy,
she's amazingly talented,
and she's famous.
I mean, what more do you want?
(CHRISSY LAUGHING)
Well, again I ask you.
What kind of man
has my little girl
parade around on television
without any clothes?
I know, Daddy.
A man with a very,
very small penis.
Oh, Madonna!
Chrissy!
Did she say little penis?
No, she said he has
a small penis.
Oh! They're gonna
burn in hell!
I mean, come on.
I need to say it
like it is!
Were you with her?
Were you with her?
You were right.
Your whole family's
fucking nuts.
(ALL GASPING)
SANTO: Come here, you.
NIKI: No. Listen, stop.
TONI: Stop, Dad. Dad.
You, come here.
(GIRLS SCREAMING)
You know what?
That's it! That's it!
God! All my life
you guys have
made me feel bad
because I love to be at home
in Westerly with my family.
And when you were mean to me
or you made me feel stupid,
or you ignored me,
I tried not to judge you.
And I pretended
not to be subconscious of it.
And now I found a man
that I love.
Who I'm gonna spend
the rest of my life with.
And I'm gonna make
my own family with.
And I wanted you all
to be here.
So, maybe, we could
take the good times
and forget the bad.
Oh, but I'm an idiot!
'Cause you don't
care about me!
You'll never care about me!
You're never gonna care
about anyone but yourselves.
So you know what?
Just go. Go on!
Go back to wherever the hell
it is you came from.
Go back and hide in your
big fucking important lives.
I don't need you in my wedding
and I don't need you
in my life.
And you know what?
Just so you guys can stop
worrying, I'm not simple.
Or pathetic.
I'm actually really...
I'm really happy.
(GRUNTS)
Where we going, pumpkin?
You know, I'm not sure.
I didn't exactly plan
this part of the wedding.
But you just give me
a few seconds.
I'll figure it out.
Okay, honey.
Marty...
Your dad just punched me
in the jaw.
Yeah, I know. You know what?
It's over. So... So, get out.
Fresh car.
You really are a cunt.
You know that?
Toni, let me out of the car. No.
Let me out of the car!
What are you gonna do?
You gonna walk?
You're not getting out
of the car.
Toni.
I'm pulling over.
Chrissy, wait. Wait!
I need to know something.
Why do you hate me so much?
I don't hate you, Niki.
I don't give two shits
about you.
No, Chrissy, I'm sick of it.
I'm sick of this!
The avoiding and evading
and lying!
What? What is it?
Do you have any idea
what it feels like
to grow up after you?
Do you?
No.
You had it so fuckin' easy!
Mom and Dad thought
you were so perfect
and I was such a problem!
Just because
I didn't get straight A's
and win every fuckin' award!
Chrissy.
It wasn't that bad, okay?
You don't have to fuck
my boyfriend.
Wasn't that bad...
What are you...
We can't...
Yes! We can.
Where's my dress?
It's at Chrissy's, remember?
Okay, well, who needs it?
What about your family?
Screw them!
What about my family?
I'm...
(GRUNTS)
(MIMICS CAT)
(GRUNTS)
How many did you get?
Yeah, we're gonna need more
than that. Go. Now. Hurry!
(GIRLS SINGING IN ITALIAN)
IRENA: Okay, girls.
(CHEERING)
You know what I'm starting
to realize as I get older?
That maybe our dreams
don't come true.
I mean, maybe we wouldn't
even want them if they did.
What am I doing
with my life?
Look at me, I'm holding on
so tight to this childhood
dream of being a star.
And I'm acting like a,
like a total bimbo,
just to even, like,
hold on to this little...
Like, maybe, that's gonna
get me there, you know?
It's ridiculous.
I think that Mom and Dad,
they put this in my head.
It was, like, their dream.
Like Dad wanted
to make himself bigger
or something, you know?
Okay. Well, then, by that
logic, they're dying for me
to be a rocker?
I don't know, Nik.
I think our dreams come
from us, you know?
You got to hand it to them.
I mean, they said we could be
anything we wanted.
CHRISSY: Nik?
I didn't
go through with it.
I didn't sleep with Marty.
I really do admire you, Nik.
I just...
Sometimes it makes me crazy.
It was such a beautiful party.
(LAUGHING)
(SIGHS)
Good morning, pumpkin.
So, how are you feeling?
No. No! No!
It wasn't a dream.
Why? Oh, my head hurts.
From the champagne
or your family?
Was I really having a meltdown
at my own rehearsal dinner?
Yeah.
And I really
just sent everybody home?
Guess I didn't want
a traditional wedding anymore.
Oh...
But don't worry.
I called the priest,
and he's meeting us at the
university church in an hour.
We can still get married.
We don't need all
those loonies at our wedding.
Just the two of us.
(SOBBING) Okay.
(DANNI RETCHING)
No matter what,
it's still our wedding day.
And I am still
the luckiest guy
in all of Rhode Island.
Take your hair down.
You look beautiful.
(SIGHS)
Come on.
I got to see you
in that dress.
Geoff.
(SOBBING)
Geoff?
(SIGHS)
Geoff?
(SCREAMING)
(CHATTERING)
You're both getting married
today.
Thank you.
We are gathered here today
to celebrate
the joining of two souls
very much in love.
Geoffrey David and Danisa Ann
are saying their sacred vows
of holy matrimony.
With Jesus Christ our Lord
as their witness,
Geoffrey and Danisa
become a single thread
in the great fabric
of the universe.
Their vows are forever.
Together,
their love symbolizes
the great bonds of love
we all have for one another
and for Christ our Savior.
She's wearing my dress.
Do you, Geoffrey David,
take Danisa Ann to be
your lawfully wedded wife,
to have and to hold
for richer or for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
till death do you part?
I do.
Thanks.
And do you, Danisa...
I do.
(ALL LAUGHING)
All right, then.
By the power vested in me
by the state of Rhode Island,
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
Geoffrey,
you may kiss the bride.
DANNI:
People say your wedding
is supposed to be
the happiest day of your life.
Well, it's just the beginning.
You're a nobody
Till somebody loves you
You're nobody
till somebody cares
You may be king
you may possess
the world and its gold
But gold
won't bring you happiness
when you're growin' old
The world still is the same
you'll never change it
As sure as
the stars shine above
You're nobody
till somebody loves you
So find yourself
somebody to love
The world still is the same
you'll never change it
As sure as
the stars shine above
You're nobody
Till somebody loves you
So find yourself somebody
to love
Something's
on its way to me
It's gonna smash my guts
to the wall
But I don't mind
'Cause I think it's time
to be looking
at the truth of it all
I'm lost as I've ever been
And moving my heart
to my skin
I'm killing the girl
that hated the world
And I'm being
what I've never been
What will I become if I'm
now one of those on the run?
What will I be
if I'm suddenly free
Of this gun I carry for fun?
When the dawn
delivers the day
I will still be awake
Packing all my anger
away in a bag
That I will drive
into a lake
What will I become if I'm
now one of those on the run?
What will I be
if I'm suddenly free
Of this gun I carry for fun?
What will I become if I'm
now one of those on the run?
What will I be
if I'm suddenly free
Of this gun I carry for fun?
What will I become if I'm
now one of those on the run?
What will I be
If I'm suddenly free
Of this gun I carry for fun?
What will I become if I'm
now one of those on the run?
What will I be
if I'm suddenly free
Of this gun I carry for fun?
What will I become if I'm
now one of those on the run?
What will I be
if I'm suddenly free
Of this gun
I carry for fun?
(SOBBING)
Geoff.
(SIGHS)
Geoff!
DANNI:
That's me,
Danni Sposato.
You know, people say
your wedding is supposed to be
the happiest day of your life.
I'm not so sure.
(WOMAN SPEAKING IN ITALIAN)
Sweetheart, you're gonna...
You need to use more. Just
a little more flour next time.
All right, Mom.
More flour.
Good. Good.
Good. Good.
God, I can't believe
I'm getting married.
(CHUCKLING)
I remember the first time
I met Geoff.
I went to early mass
one Sunday
and there he was.
And he was just so...
So into it,
and he looked so sweet
and... I just about died.
I don't know...
Do you remember the first time
I brought him home
to meet you?
I do. I remember him.
You remember.
Do you remember, Grandma?
Danni is asking you,
do you remember?
Do you remember Geoffrey?
Yeah.
With the bad breath.
You know, Grandma,
I'm marrying Geoff
in three days.
Bad breath and all.
Well, that's a heck of
a lot of work.
Does he have good hands?
You can always tell a man
by his hands.
Breath you can fix,
but hands you can't.
Your grandpa
has beautiful hands.
I hope that your sisters
are gonna eat this pasta.
It's gonna be
perfect, Mom. Come on.
DANNI:
Growing up,
my older sister Niki
was the smart one.
She got straight A's and was
the class valedictorian,
which got her into Harvard.
And on top of that,
Niki was also beautiful.
Oh, and talented.
Then there was Chrissy.
Chrissy was always
getting into trouble.
Maybe she just wanted
to be different from Niki.
She was always skipping
school, or, when she went,
she'd end up
in the principal's office.
Mom and Dad
were constantly
at the school
to talk about her bad grades
and her bad behavior.
And then there was
my youngest sister, Toni.
By the time she was 10,
Toni realized
she had to outdo Chrissy
as the family rebel,
so she started her own
rock band.
Bite me!
Toni would belt out Joan Jett
and Hole in our living room,
turning her amp up
really high so we were
all sure to hear her.
I don't know, maybe we all
spent those years
just struggling to be heard.
(ITALIAN SONG
PLAYING ON RADIO)
(SINGING IN ITALIAN)
Hey, Santo! Santo!
(SPEAKING IN ITALIAN)
What, Pop?
This need more shit.
(MUSIC BLARING ON CAR STEREO)
What did you do,
go and get a Buick?
Hi.
It's your granddaughter.
Your granddaughter. Chrissy.
It's my granddaughter!
Hey, Chrissy!
Hi, cutie.
Oh, my God! Hi, Chrissy!
How you doing?
Geoff.
Hey.
I'm good.
How's my dad
been treating you?
It's okay at the store?
Yeah, things are good.
He's getting old, you know.
Holy shit, is that real?
Oh, my God, it's beautiful!
Not as beautiful
as the one
that's wearing it.
Thanks, Daddy.
SANTO: Who's that?
Wonder Woman.
Who do you think?
Chrissy. Chrissy...
Chrissy, it's your...
(SQUEALING)
Niki! Oh, my God!
God, you're skinny!
You're skinnier
than you are on TV.
It's 'cause
the camera adds
10 pounds.
Hello. Everybody,
this is Marty,
my manager.
Hello, family.
Hey, guys,
it's the Sposato
Family Special!
With Ma's homemade
sausage gravy.
Danni, you're really
going all-out here.
Yeah, we spent all day
slaving over this.
Everyone help yourself.
Look at this. Plus the band.
What's the difference
between an Italian mother
and a Jewish mother?
Danni, why don't you
help me in the kitchen?
Mom, what do I keep telling
you about the women-waiting-
on-the-men thing around here?
I got it.
Thank you, Geoff.
Okay. What?
Oh! Okay,
an Italian mother says,
"If you don't eat your food,
I'll kill you,"
and a Jewish mother says,
"If you don't eat your food,
I'll kill myself."
(ALL LAUGHING)
Nicoletta,
you have a boyfriend?
SANTO: Mama...
That's Christina.
Chrissy.
Oh. Yeah.
I got the baccala and nuts.
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
And... I got the smelts.
What's smelts?
Oh. Try one. They're great.
Okay.
(ALL LAUGHING)
(STAMMERS) Do you got
a boyfriend or don't you?
No, Grandma.
I do not have a boyfriend.
Really?
That one...
She got a boyfriend there.
And Danni.
Danni found a love, too.
Yeah.
Well, I have
more important things
to worry about, okay?
Like a company to run.
(SPEAKING ITALIAN)
Why is he talking in Italian?
We're in America now,
don't you know that?
Okay. Danni,
you're gonna say grace.
In the name of the Father,
the Son and the Holy Spirit.
Well, I guess
I just wanna say
how much it means to me
to have you guys here.
And I couldn't get married
without you.
I just hope
Toni gets here soon.
I'm really excited
to hang out with you
and spend time with you.
And it means the world
to me for you to
get to know Geoff better.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
And thank you, Lord,
for this home-cooked meal.
Maybe it's God
calling you back, right?
MARTY: Hello? No, no, no.
Not Long Island, Rhode Island.
Yeah, where the guy spent
half his term taking bribes
and half giving them.
(SPEAKING ITALIAN)
Look, I'm in the middle
of an intimate
family dinner here.
Who's he talking to?
Mama, that's California.
California!
Madonna mia.
Grandma, remember
Niki's an actress.
She's on the television.
Oh...
So, Nik, how'd you get
on
Pacific Black?
Oh, um...
Well, it started
a few weeks
after I met Marty.
He became my manager,
and he's the best.
And he got me in to read
for the casting director.
There were, like,
1,500 girls
up for the role.
So, um, I kept going back in.
I kind of had an edge
because they wanted
somebody who was smart.
I'm happy to see you're
taking advantage of your
120K Harvard education, Niki.
CHRISSY: Very impressive.
Guess who's here...
(MOTORCYCLE ACCELERATING)
I, um...
I went in and I had to read
in front of 10 producers and
all the network executives,
so it was this room
just filled with pressure.
You got it, though.
So, you guys are gonna stay
at my new place in Watch Hill,
right?
I don't...
Oh, yeah. Absolutely.
What are you gonna do
with two houses anyway?
One's an apartment, Mom.
And we can't exactly
all stay here.
Why?
What's the matter with here?
Hi!
ALL: Toni!
Everybody, I want you
to meet my friend Amy.
ALL: Hi, Amy.
Who's that little boy?
His name's Amy, Grandma.
Hi, Nik.
I don't know you.
Hi.
It's nice to meet you.
(WHISPERS)
Is your sister a lesbian?
I think so. Yeah.
Hi, Grandma.
Hello, sweetie.
How are you?
I'm bene.
SANTO: It's good of you
to show up.
TONI: With so many groupies,
we couldn't get away,
you know.
(SPEAKING ITALIAN)
(SPEAKING ITALIAN)
ALL:
Salute.
(PIANO PLAYING)
(SINGING IN ITALIAN)
(ALL SINGING)
(PLAYING PIANO OFF TUNE)
(PIANO THUNDERING)
You're a goddamn disgrace,
you know that?
I'm not your
little kid anymore...
Get out. Get out.
...you can push around
whenever you want.
Come back when you
have some respect, okay?
TONI: Amy, let's go.
Um, it was really nice
meeting you guys.
Welcome home.
(SEAGULLS CAWING)
(HONKING)
Hi, sweetie.
Good morning.
Good morning.
How are you feeling
after last night?
Dad's never gonna
change, is he?
He's just excited
to see everyone,
that's all.
Wait, hold on.
My baby's coming with.
What happened
to our binding time?
You mean our bonding...
Whatever.
I want you to
get to know Marty.
He's really important to me.
(GRUNTS)
Good morning, Marty.
Morning.
So what do you think
of Chrissy's little
beach cottage, Marty?
(CHUCKLES)
She's got some good taste.
I like her Basquiat.
And those...
Those blot paintings
were pretty cool.
Yeah, well, I guess.
I've never really been
into that stuff,
but Chrissy's wicked proud.
Oh, yeah, you think?
Do you remember we used to sit
out there on the beach
and wonder who in the world
got to have houses like these?
Yeah. Hooray for Chrissy.
So, are you from LA, Marty?
Yeah. Yeah,
born and raised.
Okay, tell me. Do you guys
have those parties, you know,
with movie stars
and paparasi or...
(LAUGHING)
Paparazzi.
You mean paparazzi.
You know, stuff like that.
Yeah, it's part
of the job, Dan.
DANNI: Cool!
Who do you guys know?
MARTY: Who don't we know?
Do you know, like,
Schwarzenegger?
Yup.
Wow. Stallone?
Uh-huh.
But they're movie guys.
Television's where it's at.
Television just reaches
so many more people, Dan.
Well, you know, I mean,
I guess if you think about
all those hours people spend
in front of a TV, just...
Exactly.
Like you.
NIKI: Where are we going?
Come on. Terranova's?
Any relation to Tom?
(CLEARS THROAT)
NIKI: Wasn't this
Palermo's Drugs?
Hey, Tom.
Danni.
Hi, Niki.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
NIKI: Oh, um...
Um, this is Marty.
What is it?
How's it going, buddy?
Fine. How are you?
All right.
Isn't that your job?
So, uh, you girls hungry?
Yeah. Sure.
Yeah.
MARTY: I can't talk right now.
I'm sitting down to breakfast.
Niki!
Hi!
Hi, you guys.
You look so skinny.
Oh, my God.
(ALL CHATTERING)
Your hair's so long!
Like we didn't know
you were going places,
Miss Most Likely To Succeed!
It's good
to see you.
The jacket!
Niki, I am so sorry.
I have no idea
how they found out
you'd be here.
It's fine.
I guess I'm not the only one
who's glad you're home.
Oh, thank you, sweetie.
(DANNI GIGGLING)
Here you go.
Buon appetito.
Oh, can I get a bottle of
water for the table...
Flat, if you got it.
Yes. Coming up.
This was always his dream.
Some people shoot
for the middle.
(HEAVY ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
I love the ocean.
It is so powerful
and then so peaceful.
I like it more
when it's rough.
Oh, that's 'cause
you're rough, right?
At least you try to be.
Look, if you feel
like you have to act
like this big rebellious bitch
while you're home,
that's fine, but I think
it's a waste of time.
And don't use me
as one of your props.
TONI: Are you kidding me?
How fucking cliche.
(HEAVY ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
That's right.
You like that?
Mmm-hmm.
Good morning,
chicas.
You didn't touch my papers,
did you?
Papers?
Excellent.
(EXCLAIMS)
Hello, vacation time.
Everybody enjoying my castle?
Yeah.
TONI: Beats staying
at Mom and Dad's.
I don't think that would
have been an option for
you last night, sweetie.
Yeah I know, I really wish
Dad would just fuck off
and leave me alone.
Relax.
What, you like the guy now?
Why wouldn't I?
I'm finally living up
to my potential.
I'm gonna go get
some more weed.
So, uh...
What do you, um...
Amelia, is it?
Amy.
I'll play out
with your sister.
She's so amazing.
You should really hear
some of her original stuff.
So we play out local,
you know, around Providence.
Yeah, there's a really
cool scene there now.
Toni, what the hell
are you doing?
What happened to Phil?
Amy's rooted.
We share something real.
Real?
What do you care?
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
How're we doing, Guy?
We still up?
Pull yourself together, Guy.
Which one?
So short more of it.
Get your average up.
God, I just feel
so wicked nervous, you know?
There's just so much to do.
Everyone's coming over
to cook their own specialties
for Saturday night.
And I have to be
really calm, you know.
Are you gonna eat that?
Oh, yeah. You can have
as much as you want, sweetie.
And then Mom and I
have to meet the florist.
What kind of flowers
are you gonna have?
Pink. Pink roses.
And then Geoff's
gonna come over
after he finishes up
closing the store so we
can meet with the priest.
Is everything okay?
Yeah, it's perfect.
I just hope I can still
fit in my Mom's dress.
I mean, jeez,
it's already tight as it is.
That is so cute.
You're wearing Mom's dress.
I know, right? What else am I
gonna wear? It's so beautiful.
Girls...
You almost ready?
I got that...
Got a conference call
at 11:00.
Then I wanna check out
these famous beaches of yours.
Dan?
Mmm.
Okay.
Just let me pay for breakfast.
No, no, no.
Breakfast is on me, please.
That's all right.
I got it taken care of.
It's on me. Thank you.
It's nice to see you, Tom.
It's good to see you,
too, Nik.
GIRL: Niki!
I guess they liked it.
(TONI PLAYING GUITAR)
Hey, guys.
Whatcha playing?
What do you want to hear?
Do you know,
Let Me Call You Sweetheart?
Oh, yeah, we rock that one
all the time.
I'm sure Grandma does.
AMY: Play it for your sister.
Come on.
Let me call you sweetheart
I'm in love with you
Let me hear you whisper...
You're just gonna have
to fire them up, man.
We've got this guy for months.
Don't stop.
We weren't planning to.
Let me call you sweetheart
I'm in love with you
MARTY: No, wait!
Let me hear you whisper...
Are you kidding me?
Hey. How was breakfast?
Did you meet
Tom's new girlfriend?
Chrissy!
CHRISSY: What?
Niki obviously doesn't care
about him anymore.
So, who would like
to throw around
the old pigskin?
I better get going.
Do you need any help?
Jesus Christ! Toni.
DANNI: No, no.
It's really all right.
It's just enough
knowing you guys
are all here.
All right, then
we'll see you at 2:00.
Okay, how about
Chrissy and I,
versus the bunch of you.
Great.
I never worry about the rain
It's gonna come anyway
Come on, come on, come on!
(GRUNTING)
Throw water on my face
awake
Today
Today is the day to play
I got the sun up in the sky
So high
Oh, yeah.
I got it. I got it.
And it'll be until I die
Goodbye
And how I live
My little life
You suck!
It all doesn't matter
To the sky at all
Catch the ball
And I don't know
What's around the corner
I just know
What I can see from here
And I let go
Follow the flow of the river
AMY: That's right!
To wherever it goes
I choose the people
that I meet, just like
Let me have the ball.
When things are getting
Strange like today
I wouldn't have it
Any other way
Oh, yeah.
(WHOOPS)
I'm driving down
my own road, alone
I grab hold of the wheel
I can feel
What's the matter,
sore loser?
Don't you wanna play?
ANNOUNCER:
Coming from Boston,
it's Garcia. Lifetime career
batting average 412...
Excuse me. Hello.
My daughter says
we absolutely...
Geoffrey,
let me see you out back.
All right.
I'll be right there.
Okay? Thank you.
That's great. Thank you.
Something wrong?
I wanted a minute
with my new
son-in-law, that's all.
You're the first one,
you know.
And believe me,
with all my girls,
I always wanted to have
another man around the house.
Here, take the keys.
What's the matter?
You don't want them, huh?
No, no. I want them.
I didn't expect them
for a long time, though.
You know,
these last couple years,
you've been so good to me.
You've been
like a father to me.
You're a good kid, Geoffrey.
And Pepe's gonna be
very happy that we keep
the business in the family.
Well, I'm gonna
make him proud.
I'm gonna make
the both of you proud.
We are proud. Here.
These are the very fancy ones
from the Dominican Republic.
(MUFFLED)
Puff. Puff.
Good.
Good.
Sit down in my office.
NIKI: Tom!
Think you can
still beat me?
Hey.
Hey.
What are you doing
on this side of town?
What are you talking about?
This is the same path
you and I always
used to run on.
It was really good
seeing you today.
Yeah. It was good
seeing you, too.
So, how are things
at your sister's?
Good.
Yeah?
Is, uh, Marty
your boyfriend?
Yes.
What about you?
I hear you have a girlfriend.
Girlfriend?
Yeah, Chrissy said
you have a girlfriend.
No, I've been...
I'm gonna kill her.
...way too tied up
at the restaurant.
It's overwhelming,
actually. It's...
But everybody in town
has been more than supportive.
Yeah, it's beautiful there.
I gotta tell you, you...
You really inspired me.
Just knowing you back then.
When we broke up,
you were so dead-set
on chasing your dream.
Whatever happened to that?
What do you mean?
Your dream.
Tom, I...
I'm on a TV show.
Haven't you watched it?
I've tried.
You know what?
Why don't you hang out with
my dad and not watch it.
Can I tell you the truth?
Man to man?
Sure.
The girls used to
respect me.
They loved me.
I was a hero.
I could tell by the look
in their pretty little eyes.
Then they...
They started to grow up.
They got mad at me.
Then mad at each other.
So now, everybody's mad.
Not Danni.
Danni I feel bad about.
I tried to get through to her
to get out of Rhode Island
so she could see
what the world's like.
No, no.
Hey, I don't mean that.
She was always
the happiest kid.
And now she's the one
that loves me the most.
They all love you.
They're lucky to have a father
who cares so much.
They just don't show it
as good as Danni does.
(CHUCKLES)
(WHIRRING)
Hand me that flour,
will you?
What time are you
gonna go to see her,
Grandma Virginia?
As soon as
we're finished up here.
Ooh, we better hurry up
if we're gonna
change our clothes.
What are we gonna
change our clothes for anyway?
It's a wake.
She's dead already.
Hey, I thought we were
only making the desserts.
You guys,
this is too much.
I told you not to go crazy.
(SPEAKS ITALIAN)
What are we gonna do,
eat catered food
at the wedding?
Terranova's isn't exactly
catered food, Aunt Speed.
AUNT SPEED:
It's a restaurant, ain't it?
The family ain't gonna
eat that kind of stuff.
You know that.
Only the Americans.
They don't know
the difference.
I thought you loved
Terranova's.
The Sposatos always
cook and bake
for their own weddings.
Honey, it gives them pleasure,
so let them do it.
Where are your sisters?
Well, I told them not to
come. It's crazy enough
here as it is.
When's the others
getting married, huh, Dan?
You tell them they better
do it quick if they want
Aunt Minnie's
pizzelli cookies.
I ain't gonna last
that much longer.
What are you making, Danisa?
I'm making a big cake,
Grandma.
I see. How come?
'Cause I'm getting married,
remember?
To the guy
with good hands.
Yeah. Yeah.
With the breath?
(LAUGHS) Yeah.
It makes me so sad.
Grammie. I know.
Just hope when she
stares off like that,
she goes someplace nice.
I'm getting married
to the prettiest girl
Geoff!
In Westerly...
He gave me the keys!
Oh, my God!
(SCREAMS)
AUNT MINNIE:
He gave you the keys!
How beautiful!
Don't hurt yourself.
Here's your scarf.
Oh, I'm all set. Thanks.
What are you doing?
This'll be the first time
one of us can get laid
officially.
The least I can do
is record the historic event.
Chris!
Where's the little lesbian?
I don't know. She said
she was meeting us here.
(BAND PLAYING A SLOW SONG)
Where do you want it, baby?
How about right here?
I'll give it to you there,
honey.
You ain't never
had it before.
I don't think so, honey.
I... I'll clean the table
with your ass.
Oh, let's do it! Come on!
Break it up! Break it up!
(SINGING)
Mamma mia,
you're Santo's little one.
What the heck happened to you?
Hey, Phil, get over here.
You see the big guy?
Yeah.
Boy, is he in for a surprise.
Phil!
Who's Phil?
Are you still causing trouble?
Hey.
Hi.
Thought you were gonna be
too big to play
in this shithole anymore.
I go where they listen.
Hi.
Hey.
Nice to meet you, too.
I gotta go.
(BLESSING IN ITALIAN)
(ALL CHANTING)
The Lord grants
that Danisa and...
DANNI: Geoffrey.
JULIA: Geoffrey,
Geoffrey. Right.
That they...they begin
to live in the sacrament
of marriage, uh...
And may they share
this bed as the token
of your gifts of love.
And, uh, dear Lord,
please bless Danni
so she will be
a good wife and mother,
caring for the home,
loving and faithful
for her husband.
And kind and generous,
carrying his name with honor.
Mom...
Women don't carry
their husbands' names anymore.
(GASPS)
Is that really
what you want, Danni?
It would make me proud
to be like Mom.
(WOMEN EXCLAIMING)
Fine.
(CONTINUES CHANTING)
Amen.
ALL: Amen.
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
AMY: It seemed like
the bed blessing
was important to Danni,
and I can't believe
you just blew it off
like that.
Come on, baby, let's not talk
about my fucked up life
or my fucked up family
anymore.
Look at it up here!
Oh, my God. It's awesome.
(TONI WHOOPS)
So cool!
You gotta stop holding on
to your baggage.
We've all got baggage.
Life is about letting it go,
you know.
So we can be here now.
Do you think you can do that?
I can try.
Do you know
you make me
crazy sometimes?
You want to roll?
Hmm?
E. I got white Buddhas.
Oh, yeah?
Mmm. I feel like I could
blow off into the Universe.
Kinda puts things
in perspective.
Hey, shit for brains,
shut up and listen to me.
My dog likes to pee
every morning
at 7:00 a.m., so...
If you show up at 7:15, 7:30,
chances are Elvis has already
pissed in the house.
You better get with it, kid.
Hi, baby.
Hi.
Oh, how was the, uh,
that bed-blessing thing?
Oh, it was, um...
Honey, if you wanna go home
to LA, you can. Really.
What are you talking about?
I'm having a great time.
Oh, yeah, I can see that.
Your family's kind of fun.
Kind of fun?
Yeah. Your mom's an exquisite
cook, your sisters are cute
like you.
Marty, I brought you here
because I wanted you
to meet my family.
Because I thought maybe
it would help you understand
where I come from.
Uh-huh.
Marty, I thought
that it might help us.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah. What...what time
is our flight on Sunday?
Party!
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
(WHOOPING)
Okay, who's next?
Who's next?
Chrissy. Chrissy, this is
your opportunity.
Get out of here.
I'm all set,
thank you very much.
Go, bring that little
tough guy over here.
No! Put me down!
(MUMBLING ANGRILY)
You're beautiful,
you know that?
Move.
PHIL: All right.
TONI: Fuck it.
(WOMAN GRUNTS)
(SCREAMS)
Yeah, one, two,
three, four, five...
(WHOOPING)
ALL: (CHANTING)
Danni! Danni! Danni! Danni!
MARTY: Guys, guys, guys!
The show's starting!
Let's go! Come on!
MARTY: Come on!
Are you okay?
Yeah, Marty.
I just don't wanna
watch the show right now.
MAN: Oh!
DANNI: Oh, yeah.
Those aren't real.
Hey, hey...
Wait, wait, wait!
(ALL CHEERING)
DANNI: Niki!
Niki! Come here!
(INCOHERENT CHATTERING)
Oh, man. You're hot.
You must work out
like a madman.
She does.
She works out all the time.
I know, right?
Wish I could look like that.
Why? You're beautiful
the way you are.
Okay, I'm gonna
take Tower 18.
Right. I'm gonna go check out
those hot guys over there.Vera.
Just kidding, Officer Daisy.
You know what I like
best about this show?
The storyline.
What storyline?
That's her point, dick head.
(ALL LAUGHING)
MAN: Seriously.
Are her tits real?
DANNI: Yes, they are.
CHRISSY: No, they're not.
Backup to Tower 18.
I've got a 4-11 in progress.
Copy that.
The problem won't
go away by ignoring it.
You should
watch it with me.
We'll talk about it later.
Santo. What?
I've listened to you.
I've respected you in this
for too long.
But you don't want to
talk about it.
You're always doing
the right thing,
the girls are fine.
She was always so smart.
So... So put together.
She should be running
the country, not parading
around on television half...
I'm talking about
all the girls.
You shut Niki out,
you threw Toni away...
Chrissy's gotta act like
a man... We can't keep
pushing them.
They're adults now.
They... They have
the right to be free.
All we can do
is love and support them.
You keep saying "we."
Stop saying "we."
You mean me.
Isn't that right?
Isn't it?
No. I fell short.
I put your needs
ahead of theirs.
How dare you blame me
for every goddamn thing...
I'm responsible!
...that goes on wrong
in this family?
Hey.
A little too much
for you, too?
Yeah, it's pretty
fuckin' embarrassing.
No kidding.
That's not even acting.
That's...
When's she gonna step up,
man, and start taking herself
seriously?
When are you gonna start
taking yourself seriously?
Here we go.
I know, Chrissy.
You're the big success story,
okay?
I know.
Actually, my fund's
getting crushed this year.
A lot of people
have lost a lot
of money already.
I even had to
sell my apartment.
Really?
Oh. Who gives a shit?
I'm gonna quit
in a year anyway.
Leave it to the other millions
of freaks on Wall Street.
I thought you loved your job.
I lied.
(LAUGHS)
What about this rap
you keep giving me
about getting my shit together
and going back to college?
Toni...
You have a gift that nobody
can take away from you.
Okay?
People love to listen
to you sing.
Don't cop out on me,
all right?
Come on, you guys!
Come on!
(ALL SCREAMING)
Looks like we're gonna
go skinny-dipping, I think.
Let's do it!
Come on!
Now my back is to the wall
Now my heart is not in me
Now let's see
What I can find
I wanna get out
I wanna get out
So take this time
To imagine life without me,
Honey
When all your threats
I've realized
CHRISSY:
Hey, sell-out! We're gonna
do the dresses. Get in here!
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Are we filled?
Right. I know.
It's totally outdated.
Right?
I keep telling her it's not
healthy to have sex with only
one guy for your entire life.
That's why the divorce rate's
so high in this country.
Okay, enough small talk.
Call down to the floor
and get me a look
on letter "T."
So I guess Dad's just
gonna disappear
every time I come over.
It's fine with me.
I think I'm gonna get
a boob job.
What do you guys think?
Baby?
Baby?
You wanna know
what I think?
Baby?
Baby?
I think you need
to grow up.
I think you're so busy trying
to be cool and provocative
that you're, like,
stuck at age 15.
I think that you are
selfish and narcissistic
and a bitch.
I am so sorry that
I won't be able to be here
for your big day, Danni.
And since your sister
won't bother telling you,
you're an example
for all of us.
You are kind and generous
and truly beautiful.
When I first met you,
I actually envied
your recklessness.
And your guts.
But it's all a fraud.
You don't care about me.
You never cared about me.
I fell in love with you.
And you were just using me
to get attention.
You're leaving?
Amy! Wait!
I do care!
What about all those
orgasms you had?
Look, it's Santo's little one!
I faked them.
Hi, Dad.
Oh, Daddy,
I love that movie.
I wanna be just like her.
Well, one of these days,
Nicoletta.
One of these days you will.
(SPEAKS ITALIAN)
Here.
To the next Sophia Loren, huh?
You gonna make them cry?
You're gonna make
them laugh and share,
share your deepest feelings.
I'm gonna change the world.
That's right, baby doll.
You sure are.
Did I ever tell you
how my dad used to take me
to the Italian movies at
the old Knickerbocker Theater?
Of course.
You used to love Fellini,
and...
(WHISPERS) De Sica.
De Sica. Is that right?
Yeah.
Well, I walked by
there today
and I remembered why
I wanted to be an actress
in the first place.
I think once you make
a bad choice,
you don't notice
when all the other ones just
kind of slink in afterward.
Let me cook for you.
Yeah.
I think it's either there
or maybe just where we're at,
but it's like drying out
my skin on my face.
It is.
Maybe.
Can you see?
You were the guys
that ordered the martinis.
Excellent. Thank you.
So, do you like boats?
Not really, but it's the only
place in this shithole town
I can get a decent martini.
They begged me to join.
They know
I'm a big swinging dick
on Wall Street.
Oh, right. Right. Right.
Yeah, you're playing
with the big boys.
I'm winning. My fund's
at 100 mil after two years.
Most guys it takes like
10 years to get to this point,
if they ever do.
That's... That's beautiful.
You're amazing.
That's not a turn-off for you?
No. No.
On the contrary,
it's a novelty.
I'm used to dealing
with actresses who melt down
if I don't tell them
what to do
every second of the day.
Oh, and then telling them
how great they are
at doing it.
How are things going
with you two?
You mean, between
your sister and me?
Well, to be honest with you,
I think she's kind of
going through
her own thing right now.
I'm feeling
a little unnecessary.
Join the club.
(SPEAKING ITALIAN)
(MAN CHATTERING ON RADIO)
Grandpa, I got no idea
what you're talking about, eh?
Babe Ruth.
Babe Ruth. All right.
Where'd your sisters go,
sweetie?
To Looney Land. Who knows?
I just really wanted
everything to be perfect.
Well, God wanted the world
to be perfect,
but He gave us free will.
What, Ma?
You can hope that
people will do
what you want them to do.
You could even try
to change them.
But in the end,
they do what they wanna do.
Where's Grandma?
(LUIGI SPEAKING ITALIAN)
I got us some nice tomatoes
for the gravy.
If Mama's so fine, what's
she doing in Luigi's garden?
It looks like
a piece of art.
Well, it's food,
so eat it.
Oh, God. It looks good.
Mmm... Mmm.
Mmm, mmm. That's good.
Come on.
Oh, my God.
Just like old times, huh?
Yeah. Except now you're
living your dream instead of
just talking about it.
Well, you could be, too.
You don't even know, Tom.
LA is such
a lonely place.
When I first got there,
I was banging on
all these doors
and I was meeting
all these people, hoping
that somebody would...
Would see something in me,
but they didn't.
So, what?
So, I changed, okay?
And it's really disgusting
when your fate is in everybody
else's hands but your own.
No. No, no, no. Niki.
Your fate is never
in anyone else's hands.
Unless you give it to them.
You're the same Niki
you were 10 years ago.
You're so smart and talented.
For whatever reason,
you've just convinced yourself
that you're not.
It's not that easy, Tom.
Marty was the first person
who was ever even there
for me.
Right.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Looks like
nobody's back yet.
That's okay by me.
And how about you?
Say, have you seen
my bedroom yet?
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Oh, is that you?
No. I think that's you.
This is going to be
the most special night
of our lives.
Hey, come on, now.
Not in front of
the linguine.
Hey. What's the matter?
Nothing.
Hmm?
I'm just feeling
a little worried,
that's all.
All right,
you wanna check them?
No. About my sisters.
I just wish they could be
a little bit nicer, you know?
And I know I should just
love them and accept them
for who they are,
but I just don't. I can't.
I'm starting to think
my whole family
is impossible.
Your sisters are
a little loony,
but you're lucky.
Your mother and father
love you more than anything.
Oh, God,
you just don't understand.
Yeah, I don't understand.
You know the one time
I remember
my father being there?
It was my little league
championship game.
Bottom of the ninth,
and I step up to the bat.
The crowd's cheering.
I look over,
and there's my swearing,
drunk father in the crowd.
And I struck out.
Lost the championship.
Then, after the game,
he comes over,
and I'm with all my teammates.
And he calls me a fuckup.
So, believe me.
There's hope
with your family.
TONI: (SINGING)
Something's...
Something's on its way to me
What will I become
if I'm now those on the run?
Those on the run
Something's on its way to me
It's gonna smash my guts
to the wall
But I don't mind
'Cause I think it's time
to be looking
at the truth of it all
I'm lost as I've ever been
And moving my heart
to my skin
I'm killing the girl
That hated the world
And I'm being
what I've never been
What will I become if I'm
now one of those on the run?
What will I be
If I'm suddenly free
Of this gun I carry for fun?
What will I become if I'm
now one of those on the run?
What will I be
if I'm suddenly free
Of this gun
I carry for fun?
So, I'll see you tonight,
right? Dinner?
Yeah. Yeah, I guess,
since I'm cooking it.
Shut up.
All right.
Thanks.
Okay.
You're right. He doesn't
give a shit about me.
Who am I kidding?
And, yes, I'd forgotten how,
how honest this is.
We are.
It's just that I have shit
that I have to take care of,
first, I mean.
I just...
I want you to know.
I better go.
I just...
I just want you to know.
Marty?
Marty?
Yeah, baby. I'm in here.
Taking a bubble bath.
Oh. Marty, put that out.
Where have you been?
Oh, I was just helping
Danni longer than
I thought I would be.
I've been trying to get a hold
of you like crazy.
I got some really big news
for us.
What?
Sit down.
(CLEARS THROAT)
The network wants to do
a spin-off of
Pacific Black,
and they want you
to be their star.
Not Pam, not Britney,
not Cindy, but you, girl.
Are you kidding me?
No, I am not kidding you.
Now, what have I been telling
you for the last two years?
What have I been telling you
for the last two years?
Oh, my God.
Come on.
What have I been telling you?
That's great.
That I was gonna be
a big star.
Was I right or was I right?
You were right.
Come on,
get in this bathtub.
I can't. Sweetie,
I got to take a shower.
We're gonna be late.
No, no, no. Wait.
No. Wait a minute.
I got you something.
I was thinking about us,
and how happy I am
to be with you.
And I got you
a little something-something.
What is it?
It's a gift.
(WHISPERS) Marty.
Oh.
Marty, I need something more.
(MARTY CHUCKLING)
This is Rhode Island.
There is no Tiffany's here.
No, I mean,
from a relationship.
What?
You just don't get it.
(EXHALES)
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
How're you doing,
sweetie?
Can you fix my hair?
It just looks really gross.
So you haven't figured out
how you're gonna wear it
for tomorrow?
Geoff likes it down.
He says
I'm naturally beautiful.
Well, why wouldn't he?
Oh, come on, Mom.
Oh, sweetheart,
you are so beautiful.
Yeah, I know. I know.
I'm beautiful inside.
It's just, Toni and Chrissy
and Niki, you know,
they all know about sex,
and so they just seem
so much sexier.
I don't know.
Tomorrow night's almost here,
and me and Geoff have waited
a really long time, and I...
I don't know.
What if I...
I don't please him?
I was a virgin
when I married your father.
Men used to talk about sex.
You know, brag about it
in the locker room.
I didn't talk about sex.
Not even with my mother,
my sisters,
not even my friends.
Your father and I, we were...
We were very Catholic.
We didn't want to sin.
So, I remember
I was so nervous.
All during my wedding
reception, I kept on thinking,
oh, what's gonna happen
later that night?
And then your father
took me in his arms
and he kissed me.
I thought,
"What was I worrying about?
It was all for nothing."
What's it like?
Oh, it's magic.
It's sharing.
It's a connection.
It is a joining of souls.
It's lovely.
You don't feel guilty
for enjoying it?
Oh! The Church is wrong
about that, Danni. No!
No matter what goes on
in your life,
at night, when you close
your bedroom door,
your marriage bed
is a sanctuary.
(SIGHING)
Your father and I,
we've been through so much,
and when I go to bed
at night, I still
like to look sexy.
(SPEAKS ITALIAN)
You just relax, huh?
Trust.
(SIGHS)
Hey! Hey!
(SPEAKS ITALIAN)
I told you,
we don't eat
restaurant food.
The Sposatos don't eat
the catered food.
To my new daughter.
Everybody drink.
DANNI: Bottoms up!
Paparazzi.
Santo, you need to get
your little rockstar out
of there now.
Hey, Tom. You look good.
The place is wonderful.
Thank you, sir.
Thank you very much.
Niki.
Hi. Hi.
Do you remember Marty?
Yes, of course. How are you?
This is a really
awesome spread.
Thanks. It's especially made
for couples in love.
Yup! That's you guys.
Hi, Mama.
You look beautiful.
So do you.
Thank you.
Hey.
Well. All right, everyone.
Everyone, please.
Everyone, let's sit down
and have a dinner. Okay.
Geoffrey, Geoffrey,
have you...
Hey.
What happened to your friend?
I was being a jerk,
so she left.
It's their loss, anybody
who leaves my little kid.
Come on, let's go eat.
Come on.
(CLINKING)
CHRISSY: Yes?
I just wanna see which one
of the sisters is brave enough
to start us off with a toast.
I don't know
if I'm the bravest, but
I am definitely the oldest.
All right,
ladies and gentlemen.
The not-so-brave Niki Sposato.
Niki.
Come on, Niki.
Okay, listen.
So, I would like to say
that since I've been home,
I've realized
what is important to me.
And watching you and Danni
together has made me
feel jealous.
To be able to just
live so simply.
I'm not surprised, because
you were always the smiling
one and the easy one.
I mean there were
those couple of years
with the Ferraro sisters,
they were calling you
"Fatty" and "Fanny," but...
Okay.
...clearly there are
no signs of that now.
You're so beautiful.
And, Geoff,
it is very apparent
to all of us
that she's found strength
in herself through you
and through your love.
I just wonder how it feels
to just love somebody
like that.
To just trust that that person
is the person that
you're gonna be with
for the rest of your life.
To just say that
and to mean it.
To you guys.
WOMAN:
Salute!
ALL:
Salute!
(ALL CHATTERING)
No, no, Marty, Marty.
Come on, baby.
Marty, no...
Twinklebell wants
to make a toast.
MARTY: Thank you, Auntie...
Speedie.
Thank you, Auntie Speedie.
Thank you.
Before we get into this,
like, whole wedding affair,
I wanted everyone to know
we have a double occasion
to celebrate.
Because of her amazing success
on
Pacific Black,
the network has decided
to offer Niki, Officer Vera,
her very own TV show.
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
So here's to the girl I love.
Officer Vera.
Salute.
(ALL CHEERING)
DANNI: That's great.
Hold on a second, huh?
Great.
Before we toast
my daughter's life away,
I got a question for
the Hollywood-hotshot here.
What kind of man is it
that has the girl he loves...
(WHISPERING) Sit!
...parade around
on television
without any clothes?
Oh, with all due respect,
Mr. S., your daughter
is an amazing success.
She's wealthy,
she's amazingly talented,
and she's famous.
I mean, what more do you want?
(CHRISSY LAUGHING)
Well, again I ask you.
What kind of man
has my little girl
parade around on television
without any clothes?
I know, Daddy.
A man with a very,
very small penis.
Oh, Madonna!
Chrissy!
Did she say little penis?
No, she said he has
a small penis.
Oh! They're gonna
burn in hell!
I mean, come on.
I need to say it
like it is!
Were you with her?
Were you with her?
You were right.
Your whole family's
fucking nuts.
(ALL GASPING)
SANTO: Come here, you.
NIKI: No. Listen, stop.
TONI: Stop, Dad. Dad.
You, come here.
(GIRLS SCREAMING)
You know what?
That's it! That's it!
God! All my life
you guys have
made me feel bad
because I love to be at home
in Westerly with my family.
And when you were mean to me
or you made me feel stupid,
or you ignored me,
I tried not to judge you.
And I pretended
not to be subconscious of it.
And now I found a man
that I love.
Who I'm gonna spend
the rest of my life with.
And I'm gonna make
my own family with.
And I wanted you all
to be here.
So, maybe, we could
take the good times
and forget the bad.
Oh, but I'm an idiot!
'Cause you don't
care about me!
You'll never care about me!
You're never gonna care
about anyone but yourselves.
So you know what?
Just go. Go on!
Go back to wherever the hell
it is you came from.
Go back and hide in your
big fucking important lives.
I don't need you in my wedding
and I don't need you
in my life.
And you know what?
Just so you guys can stop
worrying, I'm not simple.
Or pathetic.
I'm actually really...
I'm really happy.
(GRUNTS)
Where we going, pumpkin?
You know, I'm not sure.
I didn't exactly plan
this part of the wedding.
But you just give me
a few seconds.
I'll figure it out.
Okay, honey.
Marty...
Your dad just punched me
in the jaw.
Yeah, I know. You know what?
It's over. So... So, get out.
Fresh car.
You really are a cunt.
You know that?
Toni, let me out of the car. No.
Let me out of the car!
What are you gonna do?
You gonna walk?
You're not getting out
of the car.
Toni.
I'm pulling over.
Chrissy, wait. Wait!
I need to know something.
Why do you hate me so much?
I don't hate you, Niki.
I don't give two shits
about you.
No, Chrissy, I'm sick of it.
I'm sick of this!
The avoiding and evading
and lying!
What? What is it?
Do you have any idea
what it feels like
to grow up after you?
Do you?
No.
You had it so fuckin' easy!
Mom and Dad thought
you were so perfect
and I was such a problem!
Just because
I didn't get straight A's
and win every fuckin' award!
Chrissy.
It wasn't that bad, okay?
You don't have to fuck
my boyfriend.
Wasn't that bad...
What are you...
We can't...
Yes! We can.
Where's my dress?
It's at Chrissy's, remember?
Okay, well, who needs it?
What about your family?
Screw them!
What about my family?
I'm...
(GRUNTS)
(MIMICS CAT)
(GRUNTS)
How many did you get?
Yeah, we're gonna need more
than that. Go. Now. Hurry!
(GIRLS SINGING IN ITALIAN)
IRENA: Okay, girls.
(CHEERING)
You know what I'm starting
to realize as I get older?
That maybe our dreams
don't come true.
I mean, maybe we wouldn't
even want them if they did.
What am I doing
with my life?
Look at me, I'm holding on
so tight to this childhood
dream of being a star.
And I'm acting like a,
like a total bimbo,
just to even, like,
hold on to this little...
Like, maybe, that's gonna
get me there, you know?
It's ridiculous.
I think that Mom and Dad,
they put this in my head.
It was, like, their dream.
Like Dad wanted
to make himself bigger
or something, you know?
Okay. Well, then, by that
logic, they're dying for me
to be a rocker?
I don't know, Nik.
I think our dreams come
from us, you know?
You got to hand it to them.
I mean, they said we could be
anything we wanted.
CHRISSY: Nik?
I didn't
go through with it.
I didn't sleep with Marty.
I really do admire you, Nik.
I just...
Sometimes it makes me crazy.
It was such a beautiful party.
(LAUGHING)
(SIGHS)
Good morning, pumpkin.
So, how are you feeling?
No. No! No!
It wasn't a dream.
Why? Oh, my head hurts.
From the champagne
or your family?
Was I really having a meltdown
at my own rehearsal dinner?
Yeah.
And I really
just sent everybody home?
Guess I didn't want
a traditional wedding anymore.
Oh...
But don't worry.
I called the priest,
and he's meeting us at the
university church in an hour.
We can still get married.
We don't need all
those loonies at our wedding.
Just the two of us.
(SOBBING) Okay.
(DANNI RETCHING)
No matter what,
it's still our wedding day.
And I am still
the luckiest guy
in all of Rhode Island.
Take your hair down.
You look beautiful.
(SIGHS)
Come on.
I got to see you
in that dress.
Geoff.
(SOBBING)
Geoff?
(SIGHS)
Geoff?
(SCREAMING)
(CHATTERING)
You're both getting married
today.
Thank you.
We are gathered here today
to celebrate
the joining of two souls
very much in love.
Geoffrey David and Danisa Ann
are saying their sacred vows
of holy matrimony.
With Jesus Christ our Lord
as their witness,
Geoffrey and Danisa
become a single thread
in the great fabric
of the universe.
Their vows are forever.
Together,
their love symbolizes
the great bonds of love
we all have for one another
and for Christ our Savior.
She's wearing my dress.
Do you, Geoffrey David,
take Danisa Ann to be
your lawfully wedded wife,
to have and to hold
for richer or for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
till death do you part?
I do.
Thanks.
And do you, Danisa...
I do.
(ALL LAUGHING)
All right, then.
By the power vested in me
by the state of Rhode Island,
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
Geoffrey,
you may kiss the bride.
DANNI:
People say your wedding
is supposed to be
the happiest day of your life.
Well, it's just the beginning.
You're a nobody
Till somebody loves you
You're nobody
till somebody cares
You may be king
you may possess
the world and its gold
But gold
won't bring you happiness
when you're growin' old
The world still is the same
you'll never change it
As sure as
the stars shine above
You're nobody
till somebody loves you
So find yourself
somebody to love
The world still is the same
you'll never change it
As sure as
the stars shine above
You're nobody
Till somebody loves you
So find yourself somebody
to love
Something's
on its way to me
It's gonna smash my guts
to the wall
But I don't mind
'Cause I think it's time
to be looking
at the truth of it all
I'm lost as I've ever been
And moving my heart
to my skin
I'm killing the girl
that hated the world
And I'm being
what I've never been
What will I become if I'm
now one of those on the run?
What will I be
if I'm suddenly free
Of this gun I carry for fun?
When the dawn
delivers the day
I will still be awake
Packing all my anger
away in a bag
That I will drive
into a lake
What will I become if I'm
now one of those on the run?
What will I be
if I'm suddenly free
Of this gun I carry for fun?
What will I become if I'm
now one of those on the run?
What will I be
if I'm suddenly free
Of this gun I carry for fun?
What will I become if I'm
now one of those on the run?
What will I be
If I'm suddenly free
Of this gun I carry for fun?
What will I become if I'm
now one of those on the run?
What will I be
if I'm suddenly free
Of this gun I carry for fun?
What will I become if I'm
now one of those on the run?
What will I be
if I'm suddenly free
Of this gun
I carry for fun?