Kiss Them for Me (1957) Movie Script

Got a cigarette, lieutenant, or isn't
that in the public relations budget?
WALLACE: It is for freeloaders like you
war correspondents. Here you are.
That's Andy Crewson's SBC.
Never was finicky about
what he took on. Friend or foe.
dive-bomber, why's he tackling a Zero?
That's number seven for Crewson...
...and he was only hired
to attack ships.
There goes Andy.
CORRESPONDENT 2: What's the idea
of cutting away from Crewson?
Wait. We might have film later.
CORRESPONDENT 3: What are you doing,
making a cliffhanger out of this?
- Somebody must've got hurt.
WALLACE: Luckily not.
Lieutenant J.G. MacCann's plane.
He came out fine, not even a bruise.
CORRESPONDENT 3: MacCann. Isn't that
the pilot who's running for Congress?
Yeah, a congressman died
in a Boston district...
...there's a special election on.
CORRESPONDENT 1: Ours or theirs?
WALLACE: U.S.S. Perch.
Now, look sharp,
we may see an old friend.
Who's that on the raft?
CORRESPONDENT 1: It must be Crewson.
CORRESPONDENT 2: He looks half-dead.
Lucky they picked him up.
Anybody here read lips?
What'd he say?
I got it straight from the skipper.
The first words out of Crewson's mouth:
"Are there any women aboard?"
I like that. Sounds like a good,
healthy, American attitude.
Well, that's all we have for now.
There's a jeep waiting for us
to take us to BOQ.
There, available for interviews,
I have stashed away...
...MacCann, Crewson
and various assorted heroes.
Goodie, that's a big scoop. Dragging
us from New York to Pearl Harbor...
- ...for a gabfest with heroes.
- How about interviewing a coward...
- ...just for the novelty?
- After Crewson, you can interview me.
They don't come any more cowardly.
I say to you, my fellow citizens
of Massachusetts...
...that those who have led
in war must lead in peace.
Those who have known
the horrors of war-
If you'll shut up,
I'll move to Massachusetts...
- ...and you can have my vote.
- Listen... couldn't pass our literacy test.
You've got the br-
- Hi, fellas.
- Hiya, Walter.
Now, don't slam the door, man.
I'm hung-over, but I mean hung-over.
Pull yourself together. I've got
some newsmen who wanna talk to you.
- They do? Whatever for?
- You guys are big heroes!
They know you've seen combat
and just got out of the hospital.
They want pictures and interviews.
I'll see to it that your
hometown papers get copies.
My hometown ain't got no newspaper.
- We hardly got no people.
- Any reporters from New England?
One fella from a Hartford paper.
- Hartford? That's close enough.
- Hartford. He laughs at the way I talk.
He knows you're running
for Congress...
...and I know your carrier
is due Friday at 0800...
...when you'll be returned to duty.
That is strictly off the record.
Yeah, don't rub it in, man.
All right, gentlemen, throw some gear
in a bag. You're on your way.
Don't slam the door.
My head is killing me.
CREWSON: Everybody, up, up.
- What you talking about?
Last night, after you were carried out
of the Officer's Club...
...the admiral came in.
Not bad, that admiral.
He said it's all right
if we flew to San Francisco...
- ...provided we're back Friday by 0800.
- Why didn't you tell us last night?
You were in no condition last night.
Do we go on orders?
Well, of course on orders.
Would I consider going AWOL?
One day there, one day to get back.
That's four days in San Francisco.
How do you figure four?
Whoever heard orders being written
in less than 2 or 3?
That leaves a glorious 16 or 17
hours in Frisco. No, thank you.
What makes you think we
have to stay for paperwork?
- You know Chuck Roundtree?
- The skipper's pilot? Why's he here?
He stopped on his way to San Francisco.
He has business there for the skipper.
They don't come better or drunker.
He swore he'd take us with him.
The United States!
- Uncle Sugar!
- Shut up.
He's leaving Hickam in
exactly 20 minutes.
- This is illegal.
- The trouble with me is...
- ...I don't know there's a war going on.
- You tell the old man we're leaving?
I should bother the commandant of the
14th Naval District with trivia?
WALLACE: What about me? My orders
are to get you guys interviews.
- Get us interviews in San Francisco.
- The plane leaves in 19 minutes.
WALLACE: I've got three
correspondents outside in a jeep.
- Jeep? Good. It can take us to the field.
- No, no. Hey, wait a minute.
CORRESPONDENT 1: What's going on?
What about those interviews?
It's only 10 minutes to the field,
can't you answer a few questions?
Oh, questions.
There I was on my back at 20,000 feet.
A Zero above me,
two Mitsubishis below....
Men, these reporters
have been around.
We saw you being picked up
by the sub.
- How was it on the raft?
- Lonely.
Any sharks?
One. Probably a female
from the way she nuzzled me.
- Let's go.
- You can't get off this quickly.
Folks back home eat up everything
they read about pilots-
Life on a carrier? Gentlemen, I'll sum
it up. No wine, no women, no song.
Shove off.
Uncle Sugar, here we come!
CREWSON: Hey, Chuck!
MAC: Hey, Chuck!
Here we are, we made it.
We had our party last night.
Get your tail off this runway.
I'm ready to take off.
You've forgotten what
happened last night?
Something happened
I should remember?
You put one hand over
your heart, the other hand on...
...the bartender's guide and swore
you'd fly us to San Francisco.
I did?
Oh, Chuck, you gave us your word.
Okay, then. I might renege on
anything I say when I'm sober...
- ...but a promise when drunk is sacred.
MISSISSIP: Oh, thanks, Chuck!
Hey, Lieutenant Roundtree,
this is Lieutenant Wallace.
- He's assigned to us.
- Hi.
Whatever your job is with these guys,
lieutenant, I don't envy you. Welcome.
I can't believe it, us in Uncle Sugar!
I have a big decision. Who do I call first,
my wife or my campaign manager?
Will there be time for
Anna to hop a plane to Frisco?
My boy, wives are not
on the agenda in San Francisco.
Crewson said we ain't even going out.
He said we'll get ourselves
the biggest hotel suite... the hotel and we ain't even
gonna raise the shades.
That's what I said.
Anything we need, animal, vegetable
or mineral can find its way to us.
What's the matter, Walter?
Having trouble?
I've got an awful confession to make.
This is my first time in a plane.
Any kind.
I'm scared stiff of planes,
scared stiff right now.
So am I. Walter, no pilot ever felt
completely safe with another pilot.
Especially one like Chuck.
He learned to fly by mail.
- International correspondence school.
CREWSON: Did he, now?
Got every letter but the last two.
Never did get those.
CREWSON: What letters where those?
- Ones on takeoffs and landings.
Never got them, huh?
Well, hang on, Walter, here we go.
Congratulations, Chuck.
- Thanks.
- That was good.
What happens if San Francisco
is foggy?
They got that all
worked out nice now.
They drop an anchor down
through the fog... see if you're over land or water.
- If it splashes, it's water.
- Oh, get off it.
MISSISSIP: What are you doing?
- Well, I think I'll hit the sack.
MISSISSIP: Well, I think I will too.
- Shove over, boy.
- We got a long trip.
- Thank you, lieutenant. Thank you.
He's fast asleep already.
- Oh, sure.
- Mississip, he's dead to the world too.
Oh, he imitates everything
Crewson does.
He's mad about him. He even
got wounded when Crewson did.
Thanks. This your first time
back to the States?
That's right.
It'll be tough leaving
after only four days.
If I'm elected,
I won't have to come back at all.
You really want to get out bad.
Of course I want out.
Show me somebody in his right mind
who doesn't want out.
If I only had gotten wounded.
Wait a minute.
You wanted to get wounded?
I make no bones about it.
I've always wanted to be in politics.
I was in real estate and hated it.
When Pearl was bombed
no one had a chance... politics without a war record.
So I got myself a record.
I'm just as patriotic as the next guy.
But if you can be a patriot and still
help yourself along okay, why not?
Right. So, what's better than a
war hero? A wounded war hero.
Believe me, nobody's tried
harder to get wounded.
I crashed on the deck of a carrier,
fallen off ladders, flown into ack-ack.
I've prayed for a minor leg injury.
A slight limp is worth
maybe 40,000 votes.
But no luck. I just couldn't
get myself wounded.
You think I'm a terrible guy?
How can I? I'm doing my job. But in
a way, I'm feathering my nest too.
There's a guy in San Francisco, Eddie
Turnbill, making ships and a fortune.
Look, this war isn't gonna last forever.
He's as much as promised me the
top desk in his public relations setup.
Oh, no. No, get off my tail.
- Get off my tail! Get off my tail!
- There he goes again.
CHUCK: What's wrong?
- It's okay, Chuck.
It's all right.
I'll take care of it.
Hey, Mississip. Come on, fella.
It's okay, settle down.
That's right.
Go on, boy, go back to sleep.
What's the matter with him?
It's the dream. He has it all the time.
Falling in flames.
Poor guy.
Poor guy? Wounded twice,
two Purple Hearts.
The lucky stiff could be a senator.
- How about that, a female navigator.
- Who's gonna pay?
- I have nothing less than 100.
- That's all right, I make change all day.
Hey, it beats hominy grits, don't it?
Restraint, restraint.
- Get them earrings.
- What earrings? What? Where?
Lieutenant, there isn't
a vacant hotel room north of Tijuana.
- How about the ambassadorial suite?
- Are these men ambassadors?
Better than ambassadors.
Incidentally, Eddie Turnbill...
- ...would regard it as a-
- Lieutenant.
I've had calls from the White House.
Well, suppose we just have a look.
You say these fliers are personally
acquainted with Mr. Turnbill?
They will be soon.
And very importantly.
Have Naval officers MacCann,
Hardy and Crewson paged...
- ...and bring them up to 607.
If an ambassador shows up,
I'm a dead duck.
I don't wanna discuss this
in front of them...
...but it'd be smart to give them
this layout for nothing.
What? Living room,
two bedrooms, terrace?
Now, now, I'm not trying
to sell you anything, but....
Four days' shore leave
is all they have...
...and they're about the best fliers
in the whole United States Navy.
- Every decoration in the book.
- Lieutenant, believe me, I'm sorry.
San Francisco's full of heroes.
You know what the corporation's like.
Anything I give away
upsets them terribly. I'm sorry.
Think of the publicity it means
for the hotel.
Of course, I'd see to it
that you're mentioned.
I could have flowers put in the room, or
the chef could bake them a special cake.
You know, with their names in the icing.
After all, the corporation
can't trace a cake.
Oh, well, all right.
Hi, fellas. This is Mr. Nielson,
the manager.
MAC: Hi.
- And a patriot.
- Lieutenants MacCann and Hardy.
NIELSON: An honor, gentlemen.
MISSISSIP: Is this for us?
WALLACE: This is for us.
Golly, huh, Mac?
This is the kind of terrain a man
likes to fight a war in.
Hey, Mississip, got anything
smaller than 100?
I got one 50, all the rest is 100s.
It's all right. I can change 100.
Here, I've got some change.
- Thanks.
- Where's Commander Crewson?
He'll be up in a minute.
He's scrounging.
- Scrounging?
- Means, sort of, promoting.
- Looking for things.
- Hey, how about that? Twin beds.
What a party we gonna have here.
Excuse me. How much is all this?
I told him what fine jobs you're doing.
He wouldn't hear of your paying.
Food, drinks and service not included.
Wait. I mean, thanks a lot,
but we have money.
MISSISSIP: Four whole months' back pay.
- It's settled. Not a penny.
Thank you, thank you very much.
You see, I have someone
out there myself.
My uncle's only son.
- Navy?
- No. Marines.
You gotta take your hat off to them
cotton-picking Marines.
That's right, Mississip.
Long distance, please.
Funny to hear a woman's voice
on the phone.
What a layout.
Walter, you're a wonder.
Help yourself to some
of my decorations.
Yes, operator. I'd like a person-to-person
call if you can still do that.
- Yes, I'll wait.
- Fuzzy decks.
What won't they think of next?
What a view!
The rotten old mosquito-happy,
crab-bottomed Pacific!
You can give that
back to the Indians.
- Come in.
WALLACE: On the piano.
The liquor department.
That's Crewson for you.
First things first.
MAC: This is a person-to-person call
to Mrs. Howard MacCann... department J, as in "jig. "
Pratt and Whitney Incorporated.
Hartford, Connecticut.
Hartford. H-A-R-T-F-O-R-D. Hartford.
I've even got my wife in the act.
Aircraft worker.
How many planes
can she spoil a week?
Well, okay.
Call me back. I'll be here.
- Six hours' delay on all calls east.
- Are you putting in a call to your folks?
There's plenty of time for that.
Four whole days.
Besides, I don't even remember
if we got a phone or not.
Well, gentlemen, to the enemy.
As far as I'm concerned, he can have
China, Guadalcanal...
...and the whole stinking
Pacific and Pearl Harbor.
Once an isolationist,
always an isolationist.
Might even give them Norfolk and
Pensacola too. It would serve them right.
And some folks say we don't know
what we fighting for.
Imagine reading a magazine
the same week it comes out.
You know what I'm gonna do?
Pretty soon now, I'm gonna take
myself a nice, hot-tub bath.
Then I'm gonna send a ring
back to the boys for a souvenir.
at every grocery store in the city, a new waxed wrapper
that slow-baked, softly fluffy...
...vitaminized, flaky, ready-sliced
Gibson's bread. I said Gibson's bread.
Ain't that beautiful? Everybody's still
selling things to everybody else.
MAN [OVER RADIO]: Now, news from
the Pacific. The latest communiqu-
That's all, brother.
Come in.
Look at that. Now, you know
that Crewson can scrounge.
- Quite a wardroom.
WALLACE: Where'd you dig that up?
Deal with a drug store.
It'll dress up the room.
MISSISSIP: It's a thing of beauty.
Just what it needed.
A present from me to you, Mac.
- And one for the infant.
MISSISSIP: Thank you.
- All plugged in?
- Yes.
Thank you, gentlemen. Wait a minute.
Who has-? I've only got-
I know, only hundreds.
Thank you, Walter.
If you have nickels,
will you prime the machine?
Well, what do you know,
complete with card.
"To Mac, a great guy,
from a greater one. "
Turn my face to the wall
and call me Mabel!
- Sorry I forgot about you, Walter.
- I sleep in the raw.
Gentlemen, these are what we wear
all the next four days.
Hey, look at me!
I'm just as good as a civilian!
Chinese civilian, you mean.
Except at the bottom.
All right. Chinese civilian all over.
Now, that's a pretty corny bit, isn't it?
Well, by jiminy, we made it.
Here you are, Andy, have one
of your stingers.
- Thank you. I think I will.
WOMAN 1: Excuse me, please.
Room 607?
- Sorry, wrong room.
- Oh, excuse me, please.
Crewson, this is 607.
This is definitely the life. Anybody's
a fool to choose war over this.
- I hate to think about going back.
- I got a hunch this little piggy isn't.
- Soon as my phone call comes, I'll know.
- Four days.
Andy, can't you get
our leave extended?
Four days. Why worry about it
this far ahead?
I think I could do something about that
leave. Have it extended, I mean.
This is room 607, and I'm as good
as anybody else, aren't I?
- You're too late. They're all gone.
- It's not just because I'm only a WAC?
Oh, that's what you are.
- Look, please don't make fun of me.
- Really, I didn't know. I've been away.
See, I was out of the country
when you were created.
It's a WAC, that's what it is, fellas.
Believe me, they're all gone.
Well, thank you.
- That's okay. Bye.
- Bye.
It's a WAC.
Crewson, what'd she want
that's all gone?
We've got nothing that's all gone.
MISSISSIP: Never mind. What were you
saying about getting our leaves extended?
- I think I know just the man who-
WOMAN 2: Hello.
Hello again.
Well, hello to you. Do come in.
- Well, thank you.
- Not at all.
I'm sure.
I've come about this.
No, no. Before business, a few
amenities. May I take your-?
Oh, well.
Now, what would you-?
What would you like to have to drink?
Oh, I have a very strict rule,
not a drop before sundown.
And I never break a strict rule...
...except for men in uniform.
What are you drinking?
- Well, at the moment, stingers.
- Stingers would be super.
My name is Alice Kratchna.
If I may be so bold.
Hi, Alice. I'm Crewson.
This is Lieutenant MacCann,
Wallace and Hardy.
Hello. Hello. Hello.
Are you Army, Navy or what?
It's all right if I say,
"Down the hatch"?
- Perfectly.
- Down the hatch.
It's getting close to sundown,
so let's make it a double.
Lieutenant Wallace! Gentlemen!
I am sorry.
- But we can't permit this.
- What is it?
I took a dozen away from a bellboy.
He was handing them out
to women in the lobby.
- What are they?
- Cards...
...on which someone has written
"Nylons. Room 607. "
Just a laborsaving device.
Look, I don't wanna interfere
with your fun.
My uncle's only son
is out there someplace.
- Cheer up.
- But I can't help it.
Now, about those nylons.
I just want everything clear
and on the table.
- Well, about the nylons-
- I know what you want.
I know what you want and well....
But no doing anything
until I've chosen.
You know, you're very kind,
but I must level with you.
I'm sorry, there aren't any nylons.
- It was just a joke.
- Joke?
- Is that true?
- Must be.
Oh, I wanted nylons so,
and I won't buy from the black market.
My legs look so terrible
without stockings.
Well, I'm going to choose anyhow.
No use looking at me. I'm off
to see that man about the leave.
MAC: Hey, what's going on here?
- I invited a few servicemen I met.
I told each to bring three girls or he
couldn't come. Something wrong?
- No!
- I thought we'd have a party.
A party. That's my middle name.
Say something sweet to me.
I can say this. You have beautiful hair.
And it's natural, except for the color.
NIELSON: No! No, please!
Don't force me to call the shore patrol!
Commander Crewson...
- ...I warn you, I overlooked the nylons-
- Miss, don't you dare go away.
- I've experienced parties.
- Mr. Nielson. You're needlessly excited.
At indoctrination school there was a
two-week course on shore-leave parties.
Conduct of, behavior at,
that sort of thing.
Don't worry about anything,
Mr. Nielson.
Mac. Blow some air through the keyhole
every other half-hour. That'll help him.
Nielson. Miss Livingston will be along.
Will you send her up to room...?
- Yes, Mr. Turnbill.
I must register a protest.
I know they're friends of yours...
...and Mr. Turnbill's, but-
I know the owner, and asked him. I said,
"Where do you get all these points?"
He winks and says, "You know the right
people, you don't need points. "
Ain't that the truth?
I don't know the right people.
That's how come I'm in uniform.
Hey, Andy.
I can't get with this girl.
She won't let go of my hand.
Ditch her. There's three women
to every guy.
That's the trouble,
embarrassment of riches.
None of us gonna do good tonight.
Since I was grounded
for sinus I've served... Washington, Montreal and San
Francisco. One party after another.
- I've never had a better time.
- Baby, you're not mingling.
You're not circulating.
I have a problem.
I have to choose between three men.
And you ain't one of them.
I can't hear you, sweetheart.
No, no, there's nobody here. There's a
roughhouse in the next suite.
Marines. Yeah, the walls
are paper-thin.
For crying out loud,
will you shut up?
You'll ruin me.
I'm trying to speak to my wife.
Hello, sweetheart,
how's the campaign going?
Tell Huntzinger that when
he speaks on the radio... stress that I'm just out
of the hospital.
Now, he doesn't have to specify
where or how I was wounded.
Look, darling. Darling, tell him to call me
the minute the meeting is over.
Yeah. All right.
Come on, you shouldn't
do this to Mississip. He's a hero.
He's got five Zeros to his credit.
He's been wounded.
Nowhere along the scenic route.
Come on, will you-?
- Crewson!
- Yeah, what?
I want you to meet Eddie Turnbill.
- This is Commander Andrew Crewson.
- How do you do?
Andy, you shouldn't have done that
to the manager.
- Trouble is, I don't know there's a war.
- Walter gave me a thumbnail.
I'm busy, so I'll talk fast. You're what I'm
looking for: colorful, good-looking, a hero.
There are two more just like him.
Lieutenant Hardy, Eddie Turnbill.
How are you, Mr. Turnbill?
Come on, now, let go of my paws now
so I can shake hands with Mr. Turnbill.
How are you, Mr. Turnbill?
Hey, Wallace, I was just speaking to
my wife. She says it's in the papers.
Leave it to Wally. I put it on the wire.
The last of the trio.
Lieutenant MacCann, Eddie Turnbill.
- An honor, lieutenant.
- A drink, Mr. Turnbill?
How about letting me
order a couple rounds?
Plenty here, unless you
want something special.
Seems silly for me to drink your liquor.
I know what you get paid.
Crewson, Eddie Turnbill is head of the
Turnbill Shipbuilding Company.
I'll talk, Walter. See, commander,
I'm doing a big job, like you.
I'm in this war up to my neck.
We build wood hulls, PBY floats, P boats, everything wood for the Navy.
Excuse me, but you're Mr. Turnbill,
are you not?
- Yes, yes.
- Well, I've seen your picture in the paper.
- Well?
- Would you come into the bedroom?
- What?
- You're wanted on the telephone.
They say it's Washington.
Don't I get a minute to myself?
Everywhere I go, Washington.
Well, that means a half an hour.
Crewson, I wanna talk to you.
- I won't go away. Scout's honor.
- Good. Good.
I wish you wouldn't take
that tone with Eddie.
- I must see if I have another tone.
- Want your leave extended?
Two weeks? A month, maybe more?
Eddie's the boy who can do it.
Now, what would you like
to do on your leave?
What kind of a girl are you looking for?
I'm looking for a girl who doesn't
smoke, drink or have any bad habits.
What for?
- Hello, Gwynneth.
- Hello, Walter.
They told me Eddie said to
meet you here. Where is the lad?
- On the phone.
- Of course. Where else?
Who's throwing this coffee klatch?
Those three, over there.
I had a story on them in the papers.
Oh, those. Who's the tall, dark one
in the black kimono?
Oh, that's Andy Crewson. Funny how
everybody always picks him out first.
- How can you help it?
- Would you like to meet them?
- Is it safe?
- No, but come on.
You know, I know fitters and welders
that make 125 bucks-
I mean "dollars. " A week. Imagine.
- I'm getting rich too. I steal planes.
- Really?
Gwynneth, may I present
Lieutenant MacCann...
...Hardy, Commander Crewson.
Miss Livingston.
- How do you do?
- Hi.
Why do I feel like saluting?
Miss Kratchna, Miss Livingston.
Quite pleased to meet you, I'm sure.
You're engaged to Mr. Turnbill,
aren't you?
I read the columns and the
society things. They say you are.
In that case, I suppose I am.
Miss Livingston, do you think
I wear too much makeup?
I think you look fine.
Even when I carry Fortune magazine...
...people still look at me like
I was from the wrong part of town.
- Is that new? I haven't heard it before.
- You haven't? Where have you been?
Anyway, I'd like to dance to it.
Providing, of course, that I'm asked.
Whose outfit is that?
Very well. Being that it's wartime,
I'll do the asking myself.
- How about it, lieutenant?
- What? Oh, delighted, Miss Kratchna.
- I only asked you to make him jealous.
- Thanks a million.
- The trumpeter, who is he?
- Are you mad for trumpets too?
When I can hear them.
Come with me.
Manny Klein!
A pitcher of stingers,
some cigarettes, a few acorns...
...and we can dig in here for winter.
Don't go away.
Thank you. You are a good provider.
- What?
You supposed to call
operator six. Great Neck.
- Thanks.
- Where's Great Neck?
Long Island, you ignoramus.
If I said Hattiesburg...
- ...would you know it was Mississippi?
- Certainly.
Come on.
- Aren't you going to call operator six?
- No, I-
Wait a minute, chum. Take it easy.
No, I'm not gonna call operator six.
To trumpet players everywhere.
Friend and foe alike.
- What's the matter?
- Uh....
You look so, so glossy.
Clean living and Elizabeth Arden.
Do you act, model?
In New York I registered
at a modeling agency.
They said they'd call me
and never did.
Now when I list my occupation,
I always put down "model. "
Naturally. And what do you do?
- I have a very unusual occupation.
- What's that?
I'm engaged to Eddie Turnbill.
How do you like the work?
The hours are great.
Do you mind telling me,
what did you do before the war?
You name it, I did it.
- Such as what?
- What's the difference? It all bored me.
- Come on, let's listen to the music.
MAC: Oh, Andy.
Could we see you a minute, please?
Excuse me.
Commander, this is Ensign Lewis
from the Alameda Naval Air Station.
Welcome aboard, Lewis.
- Thank you.
- Glad to have you.
- Pour Lewis a drink.
- Thanks, but I'm on duty.
- What's that got to do with it?
- Drinking on-
- Here, Lewis. Have a drink.
- Thank you, sir.
My goodness.
Nobody's called me "sir" since...
- ...well, nobody ever called me "sir. "
- Lewis is here for a copy of our orders.
You went through Alameda so fast
that I didn't-
Alameda, huh? Nice air station
you have there, Lewis.
- Thank you, sir.
- Very neatly kept. At least what I saw.
- Thank you, sir. But those orders-
- That's a smart-looking uniform.
- Thank you, sir. But about those-
- Have another drink.
- Thank you, sir. But I just finished one-
- Come on. Have another. Do you good.
- Now, what were you saying?
- I have to get back...
...but I'll have to have
a copy of your orders.
You know how it is.
We only had an hour to get ready.
- If you need copies, I could make them.
- We're on verbal orders...
...from the skipper himself.
You don't understand.
- We have to file written orders.
- Everything's fine. Everything's in order.
Would you like a cigarette? To dance?
I mean with a girl, of course.
Sir, I can't go back empty-handed.
We have to file written orders.
That's what we do.
I know. But why must you worry
about every little detail, Lewis?
This is a party. Get yourself in the spirit.
Grab yourself a girl. Wait a minute.
Sweetheart. Sweetheart, come here.
- This is Ensign Lewis. This is-?
- Hello.
No. Well, you stand by
and I'll talk to you later.
- She's not worthy of him, is she?
- No, no.
Well, she looks very nice to me.
How about her?
Sorry, she's reserved.
What kind of girls do you like?
Concave? Convex?
- Well, I-
- Oh, darling, I....
- Your last name has slipped my mind.
- Kratchna.
- And your first name?
- Alice.
Come on, now, you have
a better memory than that.
Alice, this is Ensign Lewis.
He's been watching you for hours, but
he's been too shy to ask you to dance.
Well, he's in luck. I only dance
with servicemen and civilians.
He's sort of in between,
but dance with him anyway.
Now, be kind to the ensign, Alice.
He's had a rough war.
Gas rationing, meat-point shortages.
Don't worry, he's in good hands.
If you wanted, I could phone the station
to radio the ship for confirmation.
You do that. Excellent idea.
Congratulations. As smooth
an operation as I've ever seen.
If our luck holds,
we'll never see him again.
Everybody in Washington's a crackpot.
I don't know why
we're winning this war.
- Don't look at me, I don't know why.
- Hello, Mr. Turnbill, sir.
Oh, Gwynneth.
- Darling.
- He's a very busy man.
TURNBILL: Commander Crewson, is there
some quiet spot we can have a quick talk?
Here. Everybody's got liquor and girls.
They're not gonna eavesdrop.
Andy, the Turnbill Shipbuilding
Corporation is doing a fine job.
But, commander,
we need your help badly.
Isn't there some way you can
turn down that blasted machine?
Thank you. Now then, this is
about absenteeism.
The people in our country can't possibly
keep conscious of the facts of war.
We have to drive home that they must
stay on their job.
Crewson, this is important.
Eddie is trying to get a contract from
the government. He's having trouble.
Right now, all the publicity he can get-
I mean, publicity-
That is not the point.
Commander, we need your help to make
our workers stay on the job.
All you've gotta do
is appear at our assemblies.
The graveyard shift, tonight,
for example, you make a speech.
Listen, Mr. Turnbill.
Now, let me explain something.
You see, we're tired.
Now, Mac's been out 20 months,
Mississip two years, and me three.
- We're on leave at last. I'm sorry.
- Crewson, you don't get the picture.
- No, well-
- Please, Eddie, let me recap.
Crewson, it's fun. A nice bar in the
executive grill and a speech.
Anything that's happened to you.
Well, sure. You must have a hundred
anecdotes. Anything real.
Oh, anecdotes, huh? Real, huh?
Now, let me think.
Oh, you mean something like this:
On Guadalcanal, they're bombing us
every night. Us bombing them every day.
I had a little native boy that sort of
took up with me. Ugly little cuss.
He acted as valet in
Gentleman's Gentleman.
Slept on the floor of my tent.
One night, bomb.
He was blown to bits.
Took us days to scrape him
off the sides of the tent.
Oh, we found most of him,
his arms, and legs and liver...
...all except his head.
Never did find that.
I got a million. Little human-interest
touches of war.
Very real.
I will have that refill now.
- I take it you're not interested.
- That's right.
Get a drink, let's talk about girls.
I will not talk about girls.
This is important.
Do you realize that my time is worth
$ 1000 an hour, maybe more?
Listen. I'll pay you 100 bucks apiece.
That sound better?
Now, you listen. Listen carefully. I'm not
interested in your money or your shipyard.
I came here to get drunk
and chase girls.
Do you realize I can have you
ordered to do it?
Now, listen, little man. Maybe you can
have your stockroom boys...
...and vice presidents pushed around,
but you don't rate with the U.S. Navy.
I'll tell you something.
If there's another war, if there is...
...characters like you are gonna be paid
off in war scrip. Made of soybeans.
At the end, the one that collected
the most gets his head cut off.
Now, your job is to build ships.
Mine is to blow them up.
Now, you do your job,
and leave me alone.
I've had my hands filled with my job
for three years.
Now, for four days,
they're going to be empty.
Have I made myself sufficiently clear?
Nobody, nobody has ever talked
to me that way.
- You know how nervous you are-
- There's a call for Mr. Turnbill. London.
Tell them I'll take it in
the manager's office.
Good. You do that.
He makes a nice exit, don't he?
Well, this is the swellest party
I've ever been asked to leave.
No, you stay. Everybody else go.
End of party.
Cheer up. Same time,
same place, tomorrow.
A month's leave right in your hands,
and you blew it.
- Didn't I, though.
- A few minutes a day...
...and all the leave you'd ever want.
What was so terrible?
- Oh, shut up.
- Oh, I gotta go hold Eddie's hand.
- You feel all right?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
What happens to this lad?
He's in no condition to navigate.
Walk him around the block a few times.
The cold air will sober him up.
Not at all. Come along, now.
- You sure you're all right?
- I'm fine.
You better get under the covers. You've
got the Guadalcanal wobblies again.
Hey, Mac, where'd you put the Atabrine?
I'll get the water. Here. Come on.
All right, here we are.
Thanks, Mac.
- Here's the other one.
- Have a chaser.
- Should I call the doctor?
MAC: No, no, it's only malaria.
- We all got it. It only lasts a few minutes.
- Feel better now, sweetie?
He's the one with the attack,
not me.
A few minutes ago I was crazy
about Crewson, but now I like you best.
- Here.
- Well, thank you.
Funny how men change.
Do they make you fly like this?
Our flight surgeon says mosquitoes
have malaria, and they keep flying.
- Oh, Miss Kratchna.
- Yes?
- Would you please get me water?
- Why, you bet, honey.
Now, you just take it easy.
I'll be right back with it.
I feel so helpless.
All those first-aid courses.
I'll tell you what. Could you just get
under the blanket with me?
Would you deny me a little body heat?
I thought you were sick.
It would mean so much to me
and so little to you.
I haven't much body heat to spare.
I'm anemic.
Come on, you'd love it. It's like
snuggling up to a washing machine.
Oh, no! No.
What's the trouble?
What's the matter?
My name's Crewson, chief.
What's the word?
I got orders for you.
Same as Mr. Hardy's and Mr. MacCann's.
You gotta report for medical
examinations and flight physicals.
- It's a mistake. We're here on leave.
- It ain't no mistake.
Crewson, look. It's signed
by the exec at Alameda.
- That ensign didn't tell them to radio.
MISSISSIP: I don't get it.
Well, the CO must've been afraid.
Having people in the area
he couldn't account for.
- So he throws us in the hospital.
- We're not going to the hospital.
Commander, these are orders,
not invitations.
You'll be out in two or three days.
- Then you can-
- We only have four days' leave.
Sorry, commander. If you'll read this,
you ain't got any leave.
- You're on patient duty at the hospital.
- I've been in a hospital.
It ain't so bad. With luck, you can get
a pass every night from 7 to 10.
Besides, you don't have to report
till 6...
- ...tomorrow morning.
- All right.
Hey, fella. The party's over.
GWYNNETH: Gentlemen, follow me
into the bedroom.
MISSISSIP: That's the best offer
we had all day.
- Why, hello, Miss Kratchna.
- Well, pleased to meet you, I'm sure.
You don't remember me.
You won the E for "energy" at the
Schnieffen Company factory.
I was in charge of the Navy
guard of honor. I pinned it on you.
And a very nice guard it was too.
But you should've seen it when I
won the O for "overtime. "
- I don't know what-
- Can't you keep him quiet?
This is your only chance to stay out
of the hospital.
Eddie? This is Gwynneth, dear.
Eddie, I'm still at the party.
- And I wish you could see Crewson.
- Yeah.
He's a quivering mass
of remorse and regret.
MISSISSIP: Oh, that's enough.
- Shh!
Now, look. Wait, wait-
He says he had one too many.
He realizes now how important you
and your shipyard are to the war effort.
If it will help the absentee problem...
...they're willing to talk
their fool heads off.
To the night shift?
Sure, they're ready right now.
Tell him to square it
with the exec at Alameda.
Eddie, there's just one thing.
You'll have to call the exec at Alameda.
There's been a mix-up. The boys have to
report to the hospital in the morning.
Don't worry about it.
He'll call the admiral direct.
Thank you, Eddie. You get a cab,
and we'll meet you outside.
Let him talk now if he has
anything to say.
CREWSON: You know, I-
- Before you say one word.
I'll do anything you say. I'll go to that
shipyard, I'll tell that civilian to go... know.
But I wanna say one thing first.
I had enough of hospitals...
...and I had enough of this
crummy war...
...and I wanna stay out of it.
Just as long as I can.
And I figure I'm entitled...
...don't you?
You mean, you want us to tell them
what heroes we are?
- I don't mean that.
- We don't have to do it that way.
I'll say what a great guy you are.
You tell them about him,
and he'll tell about me.
- How about that?
- Oh....
Just one second, please.
Great Neck, Long Island calling you.
I'm not in.
Tell them I'm on my way
to the Turnbill Shipyards.
He's not in.
There's always cabs for playboys,
but here we are...
...essential to the war effort and-
Lieutenant, I just wanna make it clear...
...this ain't my responsibility, sir.
I want everybody to know that.
- It'll be all right, chief.
- Yes, sir.
Oh, Miss Kratchna.
- Yes?
- Well, goodbye, Miss Kratchna.
It's a pleasure to meet you
in private life.
Well, goodbye. I'm sure.
Miss Kratchna... name is Ruddle.
Well, goodbye, Mr. Ruddle.
- Oh, commander.
- Yeah?
You boys are out of uniform.
In this town, you gotta wear blues
after 6:00. Shore patrol gets you.
Thanks, chief, we'll manage.
I have to go to work now. War work.
I'll call you when I get through.
My wife- I mean, you know,
I'm married.
Married. So what? Everybody is.
So long, honey.
TURNBILL: Come on. If we hurry,
we can catch them at the coffee break.
We'll never find another taxi.
- What's the matter with the streetcar?
- It doesn't go to the shipyard.
Now then.
I don't get it. You don't resist,
and you don't cooperate.
I don't want you to kiss me, and
I don't want you not to kiss me.
- Does that make sense?
- No.
- Isn't it puzzling and confusing?
- Yes.
- Shall we just leave it that way, then?
- All right.
All right.
Well, is that a definite and final "no"?
- Until further notice.
- I see.
Do you know a place where there's
a decent trumpet player?
I know a shipyard
with an angry owner.
- How angry?
- Very.
Must be something wrong with me.
I find myself not caring.
I must. I'm engaged to him.
How engaged?
Well, he's tall, but there must be
another reason.
- There is.
- What's that?
- I was engaged once, to a lieutenant.
- Oh, it's always a lieutenant.
He was killed in Africa.
I'm sorry.
He didn't have the satisfaction
of dying decently.
He was hit by a cab, crossing
against the light in Casablanca.
What's the difference how you get it?
Cab, bomb, dysentery, it's all the war.
And that, Mr. Crewson, is why
I'm engaged to Mr. Turnbill.
He's alive, and he'll still be alive
at the end of the war.
He's filthy rich now,
and he'll be even filthier rich then.
That's the stuff.
True love almost always fades,
but money stays green forever.
- You approve, then?
- Certainly.
Thank you very much.
Now, how about the shipyard?
How about the place
with the trumpet player?
- It's the next corner.
- All right.
I hear ice cubes rattling in glasses, I hear
people talking, I hear people laughing.
I can hear your heartbeat,
but I cannot hear that trumpet.
You wanna try another place?
Why, do you know a joint
that has quieter ice cubes?
- You just wanna keep on dancing?
- Dancing?
Is that what we're doing?
Oh, what a disappointment.
- Oh, I'm sorry, sport.
- Don't worry about it, soldier.
If you don't mind, I'd like to worry
about it. That nice, new, blue suit.
It's not important, but technically,
I'm in the Navy.
You ask me, you're the best-dressed
man in the room.
Thank you very much.
You don't know how hard I tried
to get into a uniform like that.
But the fools in Washington say
the scrap business is essential.
- Well, it is. It is.
- Maybe it is. But if you ask me-
- Look, can I buy you a drink, soldier?
- Thank you, but I never indulge.
Oh, dear, I did it again.
I'm terribly sorry. I am.
We fought our way to home base.
GWYNNETH: In that case, shall we sit?
- Just a minute.
I saw a man do this
in an English movie.
See, it's one of their customs.
- I think you're loaded.
- Well, I do hope so.
I've invested about 50 bucks so far,
wouldn't you say?
From the same movie.
How was I with that fellow?
I wasn't rude, was I?
I couldn't tell. What did you intend?
I don't know. It's so difficult to talk to
civilians these days. They're so sensitive.
- What was he, the third or the fourth?
- The third.
Here comes the fourth now, I think.
Commander? Your picture was on
the front page of my paper.
- I'm with the Chronicle, may I sit?
- Why, are you tired?
No, I'd just like an interview.
I notice no other paper has succeeded
so far, and I'd also like to buy you...
...and Miss Livingston-
I know her from the society page.
- I'd like to buy you and her a drink.
- I'm buying the drink.
I know how underpaid reporters are.
Oh, waiter. Waiter. Oh, here.
Three stingers, please.
I suppose you want me to give you
the word, about the war, that is.
- Well, I sure would.
- Which war do you mean?
How many are there? I know of one.
Oh, well, there's the war between
the Army and Navy...
...and one between the Navy and the
Marines, and the Marines and the Army.
Then there's the global conflict between
the fighting Navy and the paper Navy.
What happens to the enemy
is coincidental.
I've read your citation.
It was a great feat.
Oh, that. It was nothing, really.
Any man with unlimited courage and a
genius for flying could have done as well.
Have your stinger.
You're going to earn it.
All right, commander.
Suppose you tell me about the action.
There I was on my back at 20,000 feet.
Zero above and two Mitsubishis below.
And through a break in the clouds...
- ...guess what I saw in the drink.
- What?
A battleship of the Haruna class.
Well, I dived straight down
on the battleship's pagoda.
As I released the bomb and pulled up,
I heard the boys on the radio saying:
"Nice hit, Andy. You got her right
in the funnel, Crewson. " It was rugged.
Then what did you do?
I did my best to think up
a good sentence.
- A good sentence?
- A slogan-type sentence.
If you can think up a good slogan,
you're a cinch for the Navy Cross.
Things like, "Send me more Japs"...
...or, "My only regret is that I have but
one life to give. " Stuff like that.
If you can think up a hot slogan
that makes all the news services... may even rate
the Medal of Honor.
Can it be that I'm being had?
I tried to warn you.
All right, commander.
I'll try just one more question.
I don't suppose you're anxious
to get back there.
Well, no man likes to be shot at.
But, still, there's a job to be done.
I've been on too many missions,
flown too many hours in combat.
The odds are against me.
Still, I wanna get back there, even if
I'm just as certain I'll never return.
Most of the fellows realize they can't
come back from all the missions.
When my turn comes, I'll have
the satisfaction of knowing...
...what I'm fighting for will keep burning
with a hard, gem-like flame...
...long after I'm gone.
That's really all that matters.
"Hard, gem-like flame. "
That's from Walter Pater.
I studied him in college too.
I guess I deserve this.
Thanks for the drink.
Now, wait a minute. Aren't you gonna
ask me what I'm really fighting for?
- No, thank you, I don't think I will.
- I'm gonna tell you. You should know.
Don't you ever read the ads
and editorials? Listen to the radio?
I read that one guy was fighting
for his right to boo the Dodgers.
Another fellow was apparently
fighting for a new icebox.
But me, do you know what
I'm fighting for?
I'm fighting for the right to call
Mr. Turnbill...
...that's the man Miss Livingston's
engaged to, I'm fighting to call him Eddie.
Good night, one and all.
- What's the matter with him?
- Listen, Commander Crewson....
Folks, we've got
a little treat for you tonight.
I want you to meet a buddy of mine
from Chicago, Bing Crosby ll.
We don't want trouble. The shore patrol
is outside. Why don't you leave quietly.
The tab's on me, huh?
Folks, attention. This man wants us to
join a union before he'll let us perform.
- Now, do you think that's right?
It's all yours, buddy boy. It's all yours.
Bing who?
While my buddy is trying to
remember the words, I'll juggle.
The show must go on, you know.
Thank you, thank you.
Settle up.
OFFICER 1: He got away. Disappeared.
OFFICER 2: We got the big one inside.
OFFICER 1: Right.
Just throw him in for safekeeping.
- Don't put him on report, he's harmless.
- You're out of uniform. I'll report you.
Oh, that's fine.
A man's ship is torpedoed, he loses all
his uniforms, the pay accounts get lost...
...he can't get paid. Then shore patrol
expects him to own blues or stay indoors.
Sometimes I wonder
if they know there's a war.
- I'm sorry, commander.
- Don't apologize.
We try to be reasonable. So many
others try to take advantage of us.
I reported a three-striper tonight.
He said he'd talk to the admiral...
...but I put him on report just the same.
But I'm gonna let you off, commander.
Very well done.
Nothing to it. They get an inferiority
complex around anyone on sea duty.
- They feel landlubberly and that's the-
- Salute me!
Oh, come on, son, hands off.
Now, you learned better than
that at boot camp. Scram.
Hey, you, salute me. You salute me.
Every time I salute you...
- salute me. That's the law.
- Yeah. Here's an empty cab. Get in.
- Shore patrol will get you.
- Salute me, you two-and-a-half striper!
I give you my word. First thing,
I'll buy myself a new set of blues.
You said your ship had been sunk,
I believe. What ship was it?
The Titanic.
Big joke.
A little better than that kiss
in the cable car...
- ...but we still got a long way to go.
- Yes, I think so too.
You're so good to look at,
and you feel so good to the touch.
Thank you.
- Do you live alone?
- Yes.
- An apartment?
- A darling apartment.
But don't worry,
you're not going to see it.
I'm not?
Oh, that's too bad.
Well, what will we do now?
- Might as well go back to the Onyx, huh?
- No.
At the Onyx
they drown out the trumpet.
I know a smart spot where
you can't hear a piano player.
Well, lead the way which.
With the difference in time,
it should be about now.
- What's about now, captain?
- Hello, Crewson.
About now, my wife in London is going
to work, might get caught in the Blitz...
- ...and here I swill Scotch and soda.
- Change to stingers, and I'll buy them.
That's very kind of you.
I believe I will.
Captain, are you going to dance
with me or not?
Thank you. I should love to.
Very kind of you to ask me.
Would you excuse us?
Crewson, by the way...
...I put that young ensign to sleep
in your suite.
Just before I left, there was
a telephone call for you.
Ring operator six, Great Neck.
Stingers, and keep them coming.
Who keeps calling from Great Neck
you don't wanna speak to?
My ex-wife.
How long has she been ex?
- Why, is it important?
- Just like to know.
She started proceedings
as soon as I got overseas.
I got my first Zero and she got
her decree, the same day, I think.
Has she remarried?
Why don't you call operator six
and find out?
Okay, I'm sorry. She remarried, and
she got rid of him three months ago.
- Let's forget the whole thing.
- Why is she calling you now?
I don't know, and I'm not gonna
find out. What makes you so nosy?
You protest too much. You'll probably
go back to her after the war.
Not even after the next war.
Let's stick to one war at a time. What
do you plan to do when this one's over?
I have trained myself
not to think back.
And not to think forward either.
- You don't think at all?
- That's right.
I've developed a new art.
The art of stopping my mind dead.
Pilots, man your planes.
- Gunner.
GUNNER: Commander.
You old windbag,
what are you doing on shore?
I'm at Alameda Hospital.
They keep saying I'm sick. Me.
- You mean they let you roam around?
- Oh, there's ways and means.
You're the same old sea lawyer.
Hello, toots.
Gunner Thorgerson,
Gwynneth Livingston.
Sight for sore eyes.
- Come on, tiny, what's the word?
- You know, the same old scuttlebutt.
- What'll you drink?
- Boilermakers.
- You got a better suggestion?
- I'm gonna buy you a flock of stingers.
Okay. Wait a minute. Don't go away.
I'll be right back, I got a surprise for you.
Age of miracles. Gunner Thorgerson
alive, I don't know how he does it.
- There's the bravest man I ever knew.
- I know I'll be in the way.
- I can take a cab home.
- If you want to.
- No, I don't want to.
- All right, stick around.
- But don't say much. Just be decorative.
PETERS: I say, Crewson.
That girl borrowed a nickel to ring her
boyfriend. You think I'll see her again?
Commander, I brought you a present.
Why, it's Hedrick.
Well, somebody shake hands.
- Oh, kid, am I glad to see you.
- You old goldbrick, how are you?
Fine. I'm fine.
Well.... Hey, bartender,
five of the same.
- Let's get the social stuff out of the way.
- Lieutenant Hedrick, Captain Peters.
- Gunner Thorgerson.
- How are you?
- Gwynneth Livingston, Al.
- How do you do?
She promised not to say much.
Why, don't tell me. Are you
in the same hospital with Gunner?
Gunner runs the joint.
How else could I get out nights?
- We wanted to write, couldn't find you.
- I know. How's Mac?
Mac's fine, he's here in town with me.
So is Mississip.
What do you know.
How about the others?
Terry still acey-deucy champ?
Yeah. Buckley still gets his
compass readings backwards.
I miss them all.
You wouldn't know about that.
I miss my guys too.
I tell myself I ought to be glad
I'm out of it, but I'm not.
Oh, now, come on, you two
are being too sentimental.
You forget the bad things,
terrible things.
Give me a chance to get out.
You'll see what will happen.
- Here, Al.
- No, thanks.
Well, when were stingers too strong?
Here, Gwynneth.
- Captain.
- Thanks.
- Tiny.
- Thank you.
I still wake up and think I'm late
for general quarters.
Sometimes in my sleep I fly combat.
One day I'm TBF... day, SBD.
One-man air group I've become.
I was always like that.
I'll never forget when you lost
your tail section over Tulagi.
That wasn't so much.
Tulagi, was that where you were-?
No, I ate my flak at Bougainville.
I was in a 70-degree dive, when suddenly
I lost control. So I salvoed.
I tried to get out, the hatch was stuck.
Too much pressure. I used my ailerons.
I never thought of that.
I rolled into a controlled spin...
...hoping to break the pressure. When
it was right, I hit the hatch and was out.
That's all there was to it.
All I hope is I get to fly
just once more.
You'll be back on combat.
Wait and see.
Funny, I never thought I'd miss it.
I must be getting soft in the head, huh?
Hey, Al. I hear you got
the Congressional Medal of Honor.
It was our turn. They'd given some
to the Army and one to the Marines.
Even I know that's a real medal.
The Medal of Honor.
- Excuse me for speaking.
- Please, don't make me blush.
- When I do, they have to give me blood.
- We better get back to the hospital, kid.
- The nurse will blame me if you're late.
- Okay, Gunner.
- So long, captain. It was nice seeing you.
- Goodbye, old boy.
Goodbye, Miss Livingston.
Thank you for listening to me.
When you make a liberty
in a blown-up place...
...with no lights and no water... Scotch or women... might think of me in a land
with a million pretty nurses.
If you do, shoot me a postcard.
- Let's go, Gunner.
- Right.
I didn't recognize him.
He must have lost at least 75 pounds.
Yeah, I know.
We used to call him Butterball.
How bad is he, really?
Things are all messed up in his gut.
Once in a while the doctors operate...
...but just to keep their hand in,
he says.
Is he dying?
Yeah. He won't last out the month.
I take him out now and then.
It can't do any harm at this stage.
Thanks, Gunner.
- Crewson, may I say something now?
- Oh, no, not-
Gwynneth. It's a good thing I know all
your homes away from home.
- I thought I'd find you here.
GWYNNETH: Congratulations.
And you. I suppose you're proud
of yourself.
- Two thousand waiting to hear you-
- Turnbill, I'm in no mood for small talk.
Small talk? Two thousand workers
waiting. Who do you think you are?
After I called the admiral.
You got some crust-
- I beg you, Turnbill, get lost.
- San Francisco is full of two-bit heroes.
Aren't there enough tramps to
take care of them without you-?
I'm sorry. It saves
a lot of conversation.
Well, where's Mr. Turnbill?
In the washroom...
- ...attending to the cut under his eye.
- I didn't hit him in the eye.
I know you didn't.
That's where the ring hit him.
- What ring?
- My engagement ring.
I threw it at him.
It's crazy. I don't even know
what I'm crying about.
Well, that's the best kind of cry.
It's all mixed-up.
Even Eddie.
Let's just say it's world conditions.
Are you laughing at me?
No. No, I wouldn't do that.
- Are you through?
- No.
Take your time.
Well, that time I think we made it.
Crewson, what am I
going to do with you?
Well, for starters....
Oh, now, come on.
You must know a place
where there are no crowds... noise, no hysterical laughter.
Where we can be together and the music
comes through nice, and soft and clear.
In San Francisco? Where?
Your apartment.
Now, isn't that clever?
MAC: They took me out to the Turnbill
Shipyards. Yeah, I made speeches.
Yeah. They took pictures.
Yeah, news photographers.
Two thousand war workers.
They cheered me, Huntzinger.
Look, how long after the polls
close do you think they'll know?
And if it's close?
It better not be close.
I may be in the Pacific
before you can get me out.
Let me talk to Anna again.
Huntzinger thinks it may be
a landslide for me.
Anna, darling, I just wanted to
tell you again that I love you.
Thanks, that's good to know.
Well, if what Huntzinger says is true, I'll
see you in a couple of days. Right. Bye.
- I think it's very, very bad taste.
- What's very bad taste?
Telling your wife you love her
in front of me.
But I do love my wife.
Nobody knows that better than me.
That's how we spent the entire evening.
You telling me how crazy
you are about her.
You gonna waste
your entire leave that way?
Oh, gee, Alice. It's not fair.
To Anna, or me or you. Not fair at all.
And why ain't it fair to me,
if you please?
All the time I'd be kissing you, you'd
know that I was thinking about my wife.
Look, honey, I'll explain you something.
It ain't like that to me.
I don't care who you're really
thinking about when you kiss me.
Like I told you,
I never do it for any reason...
...if I don't want to.
But if I want to, I do it.
And I want to.
You know, a couple of months ago,
I got a letter from a friend.
Not what you'd call
a close friend anymore...
...but he writes to me,
and I answer him.
He was at the last landing
with MacArthur and everybody.
Well... this letter, he said that they was
getting pushed around and bombed...
...and all of a sudden
our airplanes were there.
So he said,
"Alice, every fella you see...
...Army or Navy... kiss them for me. "
Well, well.
Where'd you disappear to last night?
- Is she still holding on to your hands?
- All night long.
- I didn't even score a near miss.
- You and me both.
What a dirty trick, leaving us to
face 2000 workers alone.
Dirty trick? They couldn't get you off
the speaker's stand, congressman.
You should've seen Turnbill's face
when you didn't show.
As a matter of fact, I did see him.
And it was not a thing of beauty.
Oh, good morning, sir.
Sir? There's only one sure-fire way
to set you straight.
Well, well.
Oh, the house detective.
What'd you do to Eddie Turnbill?
I shot him down in flames.
Come in and relax.
You fixed my wagon. I was
all set with Eddie for after the war.
Either get yourself another sucker
or wait for the next war.
MAC: Come in chief, lieutenant.
- Still going on, I see.
No, this is the second game.
The first one ended in a tie.
Men, I'm sorry to have to tell you this.
But you were supposed to report
to Alameda Naval Hospital at 0600.
It's now approximately 0800.
It can't be that late. My hangover
ain't even awake yet. Is now, though.
Evidently, you didn't get the word.
A Mr. Turnbill called the admiral.
Well, he must've made another call,
because the admiral gave me the word.
He asked me to take three
members of the shore patrol.
All hand-picked, by the way.
Did you expect Eddie to
recommend you for a medal?
Well, we're not going. I've got big plans
for the rest of my leave. Big plans.
I must say, I'm very disappointed
in you, Chief Ruddle.
I'm sorry, Miss Kratchna, real sorry...
...but I gotta do my duty.
Can't do worse for myself at the hospital
than I'm doing at the Fairmont. So long.
In 36 hours, I'll be a congressman,
chief. Then will you hear from me.
- You better figure something out.
- Don't worry.
I'll dig up another pigeon.
Where's the classified book?
I hate to do this to friends of hers,
but here are your orders.
Orders? Oh, thank heaven.
Let's go.
Alameda Naval Hospital.
Lieutenant Commander Crewson?
Just a moment, please.
I'm sorry, but Commander Crewson
is not yet allowed to receive calls.
Operator. Is this an official call?
Of course it's an official call. I want
to speak to a Miss Gwynneth Livingston.
May I have your name and rank, sir?
Yes. It's Admiral Perry, Oliver Hazard.
No, it won't help to
come to the hospital.
What is possible?
Is he allowed to receive messages?
Yes, ma'am. One second, please.
I'm sorry, sir. We haven't an
Admiral Oliver Perry listed.
What? No Admiral Perry?
Where did you go to school?
- Operator? Operator?
- Hello, is that you operator?
No, this is not.
I'm trying to get the operator.
Our lines must be crossed.
Please, hang up.
I will not. You hang up.
This is a matter of life and death.
I'm sorry, ma'am.
Who shall I say called?
Hello. Hello.
We might as well be in prison.
A man can't even speak to his girl.
- Hi, fellas.
- Gunner! How are you, Gunner?
- Crewson told us he ran into you.
- How'd you three wind up here?
Crewson kissed a girl and hit a fella.
- That's par for the course.
- It's a routine checkup.
Routine checkup?
I came here for a routine checkup.
That was seven months ago.
- Hey, what tests have you had?
- Complete type A, I think.
Type A? Complete type A, he says.
You mean there's something else?
We already had eye, ear, nose,
throat, X-rays, psychiatrists.
Wait till the guys in the ward
hear about this.
Type A is just to see whether
you're male or female.
What do they think I'll tell Gwynneth,
the disposition of our fleet?
What are you crabbing about? Election's
over and they won't let me hear if I won.
I still haven't lost faith in Walter.
He's slippery enough to
come up with something.
Operator, get me
Miss Gwynneth Livingston.
Yes, this is a member of the staff.
This is an emergency.
Dr. Finegold speaking. Finegold.
- Doctor who?
- Finegol-
If I can't see an admiral,
I want a lawyer.
That is not the uniform
for patients in this hospital.
But, madam, I am not sick.
I've had the corpsmen undress
him three times.
None of you is really sick.
We have your orders ready.
Leave is up at 0800 tomorrow morning.
You'll ship out for Pearl on a transport.
We're not shipping out.
I've only had one night with my girl.
I'm sorry, but this is the Navy,
not the lonely-hearts club.
Nurse, maybe we can manage-
Why are you here?
You're not allowed in here.
I'm sorry, I took the wrong turn coming
down the corridor. So long, fellas.
Lieutenant, the trouble is you
don't know there's a war going on.
I sure don't. Oh, I forgot.
Lieutenant MacCann, a telegram.
- For me?
- Miss Wilinski, clean up this mess.
Yes, ma'am.
Honestly, can't you fellas stay
out of trouble for one single minute?
- Commander, you get off that phone.
- Hello, this is the secretary of the Navy.
First fall to Congressman MacCann!
- Mac, you made it!
- And how! And I made it the hard way...
...without a wound.
That's great!
Lieutenant, there is such
a thing as disciplining yourself.
Careful, nurse, you are not only speaking
to a congressman, but to a civilian.
Oh, now, that's just great, boy.
I wish I could get you fellas out too.
I know. Crewson, I'll appoint
you to Annapolis as a cadet.
Now, hear this.
Commander Crewson and
Lieutenants Hardy and MacCann.
Your presence is requested
by Lieutenant Wallace.
It's Walter! He come through.
What'd I tell you?
I knew he'd do it.
He could get us a hotel room-
- Just when I don't need it, I get it.
A limp.
CREWSON: Come on. Never mind.
We'll help you. Don't worry.
- Oh, hello, Miss Kratchna.
- We've been calling you all day.
GWYNNETH: Sorry, but I've been out.
- Got great news. The boys.
My Mac, he's a senator or something,
and he's clean out of the service.
And Mississip and Crewson.
Oh, you know Crewson, the crazy one.
- What about Crewson? Is he out?
- He's just as good as out.
Lieutenant Wallace went up and dug up
another big industrial typhoon.
Industrial what?
Typhoon is something, you know,
one of them big shots.
- Oh, "tycoon. "
- Well, have it your way.
Mississip and Crewson are
gonna go talk to his workers.
Wallace said he's got
so many plants and factories...
...that the boys will be making speeches
all through the peace conference.
Ain't that great?
- Where's Crewson?
- They're out buying liquor and stuff.
They're throwing a
celebration at the hotel.
Oh, is it gonna be a terror.
Probably the end of the Fairmont
as a first-class hotel.
So you get into something chic with a
heavy asbestos lining and hurry over.
- Bye.
- Bye.
- Thirty-eight.
- Forty.
You win the turkey, lady.
Where are they? Where are they?!
Well, hello there, Mr. Nielson.
- Where you been keeping yourself?
- The first time was a joke.
I'm done playing.
I'm calling the shore patrol.
Won't do you any good. I'm a civilian
now. It's the reason for this shindig.
Well, if you're a civilian, then I don't
have to kowtow to you any longer.
I want you all to vacate this suite
by 8:00 tomorrow morning...
...or I'll have the police put you out.
A short man, a short temper.
- Oh, Mac, you look lovely in that outfit.
- Well, thank you. Thank you very much.
MISSISSIP: Where's Crewson?
- In the bedroom, phoning for firewater.
CREWSON: How many bottles of
brandy can you spare?
Six? All right, send them up.
And all the soda you can find.
Yeah, room 607. You know.
What can I do for you?
Now, just because I didn't struggle,
don't get the notion I'm easy.
Of course not. You have to save
your energy for those speeches.
That's right. That's right.
Why don't I tell everybody to go home.
- That would be rude.
- And in character.
Don't bother. Only a matter of minutes
before the police get here, anyway.
Would you like a cigarette?
In lieu of what?
- Where are you making those speeches?
- Well, I don't know.
- Probably up and down the coast.
- Good.
Then you'll never be too far from home.
I'll redo the apartment, for one thing.
- Wait a minute.
- What's the matter?
Did I detect a note of domesticity
in your voice?
That bothered you?
Well, "bother" isn't exactly the word.
Perhaps it's too much for one day.
I'm not only out of combat,
but about to be tied down.
Crewson, I love you very much.
That's the way to love,
or it isn't worth the trouble.
I love you very much too.
- All right, then.
- "All right, then" what?
When two people love each other,
they usually do something about it.
Do they, really?
They make plans.
They think about marriage.
I'm willing to think about it,
just not willing to go through with it.
- Why not?
- I've been married, thank you very much.
All right, so you had a bad time.
Listen, I not only had a bad time,
I gave a bad time too.
- Maybe we'll be different.
- What makes you think that?
Are you afraid to find out?
I'm a member of the United States
Naval Air Force. I know no fear.
- I'll tell you something, Crewson.
- What?
It was dashing,
that philosophy of yours:
"Don't think back, don't think ahead. "
- Very dashing.
- Wasn't it?
And very sophomoric.
But you're not a flier anymore.
You're safe now. And you'd better
start thinking like a human being.
You'd better start living
like a human being.
In other words, start thinking
about getting trapped.
How can you use that word to me?
I hardly knew you, and I threw
my ring in my fianc's face.
I thought you were breaking an
engagement, not making a trade.
Damn you!
Yes. Just a second. For you.
- Wait, who is it?
- Who do you think?
- Operator six, Great Neck.
- Well, hang it up.
What's the matter, Crewson?
Scared of ex-wives too?
Hello, yes,
this is Commander Crewson.
Yes, all right.
Put her on, I'll talk to her.
Oh, hello, Helen. How are you?
Fine. Well, that is, I'm a little
sophomoric, but otherwise, I'm fine.
Am I drunk?
No, but what a lovely idea.
Helen, I am touched.
How nice. Thank you, Helen.
Of all your ex-husbands,
you want to see me.
No, I will not meet you at the
airport. I'll be here at the hotel.
What? No, I did not think about you.
No, not at all.
You mean, you still
want to come? All right.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Goodbye, Helen.
Well now, I hope you approve.
You wanted me to talk to her.
- Why did she want to see you?
- I don't know.
I wasn't around when she filed suit.
Maybe she just wants
to consummate the divorce.
- But she won't be here until tomorrow.
- Don't be silly. How could she be?
We can't let the great Crewson
go without a girl a whole day, can we?
I beg your pardon. What was that?
I mean, we all have to do our bit
for a war hero, mustn't we?
I must say,
this is very decent of you.
I know what you use for bait.
Here. Maybe this will
help you get a girl.
My, my.
Oh, my. Women.
You don't have to worry, commander.
Nothing bad this time.
Just the papers
for you to sign, you know.
Detaching you from combat and
assigning you to special services.
Oh, good day, Miss Kratchna.
Oh, good day, Chief Ruddle.
You look lovely, if I may say so.
Pleased to hear so.
- Thank you.
- Thank you, I'm sure.
Shall we dance?
What's all that about?
They're trying to communicate.
Have you seen better
casting for war heroes?
Fine-looking specimens. Fine-looking.
- Mr. Turnbill, may I-?
- Mister who?
Oh, pardon me,
I mean Mr. Hotchkiss.
May I present Lieutenant J.G. MacCann.
Hardy, Commander Crewson.
- How are you, Mr. Hotchkiss?
- Forget Hotchkiss, it's Bill.
- Well, Bill, where's your girlfriend?
- Girlfriend?
I'm married to the same woman for 22
years. That's girlfriend enough for me.
Well, I thought it was standard procedure
for men in war work to have a girlfriend.
- Now, boys, I'd like Eddie-
- Eddie? Who's Eddie?
I'm sorry, I mean Bill,
to tell you what his problem is.
Well, you know that I'm
the Hotchkiss Paper Mill.
Practically every piece of paper
our government...
- ...uses is Hotchkiss.
- And you have a problem?
People don't realize the importance
of paper in winning the war.
See, every time I say it,
somebody laughs.
Well, that's not nice. Now, I don't
want to hear anyone laughing.
Chief, take the name
of anyone who laughs.
Yes, sir.
- You go right ahead, Eddie.
- Bill.
- Of course. Excuse me, Mr. Turnbill.
- No, Hotchkiss.
Yes, Mr. Hotchkiss.
Well, come along and sit down.
Yes. Sit here. Now, be comfortable,
and tell us your story.
Do you realize you can't
start a war without paper?
After all, on what is the
declaration of war written?
Then you're drafted. "Greetings from
the president to John J. Doe. "
- That's paper, isn't it?
- I enlisted.
But your commission. Paper.
Your manual of arms,
your training books. Paper.
The orders sending you
into combat. Paper.
The orders taking you
out of combat, right, chief?
That's right, sir.
And in every government washroom,
in every Gl latrine and head.
- Paper towels. Not to mention-
- The unmentionables.
And in those moments of tragedy,
which are part and parcel of every war...
...when it is time
to notify the next of kin.
See, you can't even
get killed without paper.
I know you think I'm going
overboard with this...
...but when I realize how
unappreciated- Well, to me-
I mean, Crewson, I feel about paper
like you do about planes.
Choked up, kind of.
I know the feeling, sir.
We've got to make them realize-
- We need a slogan.
- I like slogans.
They think the war is
nothing but men and steel.
How about, "It's pilots,
and planes and paper too. "
Or, "Send me more paper. "
Brilliant. Oh, but I forgot the most
important thing. Carbon paper.
- Everything has to be made out in-
- We'll be proud to be part of your team.
Let's celebrate. Let's get so drunk
they think we're Army fliers.
Well, it won't do us no good.
We can't do better than old Roundtree.
Hey, Chuck.
How'd you get in such
great shape in four days?
I come to say goodbye.
I'm taking off for a little while.
As a matter of fact,
they're fueling the tanks now.
You don't need gasoline. The fumes
from your breath ought to do it, boy.
Hey, I hear I'm going back empty.
I hear you guys are out.
You can say that again.
No, I can't.
Not in my condition.
Hey, Chuck, where'd you
get that girlfriend at?
Ain't she sweet?
I'm taking her back with me.
Well, she's better than nothing.
Who wants the first dance?
What's the matter, fella?
Not like you to get this crocked
just before a takeoff.
It so happens that I am flying back.
- But not to the ship.
- Why not?
Because she's- She's sunk.
She's what?
Sunk. Kamikazed.
It's all in the afternoon papers.
Well, there we are
back to paper again.
- I just don't believe it.
- What about survivors?
- Did it say?
- Yep.
Some made it.
Some didn't.
What about the old man?
Did you hear?
He's gone.
Plane hit the bridge.
Naturally, I didn't know the ship
or any of its gallant men...
...but I'd be honored to drink to them.
- I ask each and every one of you to-
CREWSON: Oh, shut up.
Silly disease, malaria.
Any darn fool civilian can start it off.
Look at me, Crewson.
Remember saying to me,
in similar circumstances:
"Would you deny me
a little body heat?"
Bossing a squadron around,
I do all that manly stuff... on shore,
I have to lean on a woman.
- Do you love me, Crewson?
- I do. I love you.
What kind of love?
All kinds.
Sacred and profane.
All right, then. Keep on leaning.
Thanks, babe.
Now he's talking about his line of "get
well" cards from civilians to servicemen.
Boy, you can have this Uncle Sugar,
I'm telling you.
You know, this whole thing is a bust.
Everybody pushing everybody around
and promoting and conniving.
- I can't go through with this.
- I know.
Can't go through with what?
What do you mean?
Making them speeches.
What do we know about speeches?
The only thing we know is flying.
Sure, what else can we do?
Especially with the Beetle being gone.
We can't-
All right, your ship is sunk.
That's awful. That's terrible.
But you've done your share.
What are you trying to prove?
It's not only the ship.
The ship just cinched it.
But you heard that man.
You heard what he said.
Turnkiss or Hotchbill,
whatever his name is.
When he began to talk...
...I began to get smaller and smaller.
- I knew I would be going back.
- This is just nonsense.
If only he hadn't brought up
them paper towels.
I can't peddle paper,
it would be goldbricking.
Not that we got anything
against goldbricking.
We're old hands at it. We polished it.
Raised it to a new art.
- But we can't goldbrick now.
MAC: Hey, come on, you guys.
We gotta get Chuck to the airport.
Tell him, Andy. Tell him.
You go ahead. We can't all get
into one cab. We'll follow.
All right. Come on, Alice.
Crewson, I want you to know I
understand. No hard feelings.
- And after the airport-
- If you gentlemen will sign these papers.
Until these papers get to Washington, no
one really knows we've been detached.
- You've been called.
- I mean knows officially.
Can't you lose those papers
for a while?
Drop them in the wrong chute,
put them in the wrong basket.
- By the time they're found-
- I'm sorry, commander, you're dreaming.
- Here it is, I've got 500 bucks left.
- I don't take bribes.
You're losing me my job with Eddie.
- Please, Andy, will you listen?
Hold on, commander.
What are you doing here?
Andy, will you wait a minute?
Please, Gwynneth, if you gonna cry,
I'm gonna have to move up in the front.
I promise you, darling, you won't
lose me. I'm indestructible.
I'm not.
All I asked is to be with
the man I love.
To feel safe and secure.
Yeah. Then I'm afraid you've
picked the wrong time to live.
Did I pick the wrong man too?
No, no, darling.
I'm wrong for a lot of people,
but not for you.
Come on, sweetie. That's right.
Hey, Chuck. Chuck. Mississip and I
are going back with you, okay?
CHUCK: Why, sure.
MAC: What is this? You lost your mind?
Now, you stay out of this,
you congressman.
Snap out of it, will you, Crewson?
This is baloney
on the lowest boy-scout level.
All right, commander.
Believe it or not, commander,
I'm not angry yet.
I broke down a closet door, and I
think I broke my hand doing it...
...but if you two will just sign-
We're not signing.
We're going back with Chuck.
What good's it gonna do you?
They'll wire Pearl, and you'll sit the war
out in the brig. Did you think of that?
No, I didn't think of that.
How about it, commander?
Okay, Chuck, let's get this on the plane.
Mississip, bring Chuck's girl.
Mr. Ruddle, wouldn't you
like to do me a little favor?
I'd do anything for you,
Miss Kratchna.
Well then, if you would help my friends,
I would personally appreciate it... the fullest extent.
- Why don't you help them.
- Miss Kratchna, I'd do anything for you.
But please sign them forms. It was
a direct order. I gotta get them signed.
All right, chief. I'll sign them. Turn your
back. Come on, fella. That's right.
Come on, sign the man's forms.
Come on, do as I tell you.
Come on, make him happy.
- There you are, chief. There.
- Thank you, commander.
Oh, I'm sorry. There's a little mistake.
You signed the lieutenant's form.
- He signed yours.
- No. Did I really?
If you'll scratch out his name
and write yours.
- But, chief, that wouldn't be neat.
- No, but it would make it legal.
You mean this way they aren't legal?
They wouldn't be official.
How would we file them?
Under the signed names or the typed
names? This is a clerical impossibility.
My, that is unfortunate, chief.
Chuck said to say goodbye. He couldn't
bear to look into your sad eyes.
Come on. Wake up. This is
what we've been looking for.
We're covered. The forms are signed,
but they don't mean anything.
You've got Alice,
who could ask for more?
Mississip, tell Chuck
we're coming with him.
Right! Right!
- Now, look, commander-
- Oh, wait, now, Mr. Ruddle.
- Don't be an old worrywart.
- But I- But I'm not-
There's no time to get sloppy.
Just tell me you love me.
There's time for that.
Crewson, you can't do this to me.
You think I can let you two
fly off alone?
I won't need these for anyone.
Save them for me.
So long, congressman.
If that isn't the nicest way of saying
"I love you" I've seen.
Pardon my language, Miss Kratchna...
...but those two are the
biggest horses' rear ends I ever-
You're pardoned, I'm sure.
Yeah. And I'm the biggest
rear end of them all.
Hey, Crewson! Andy, wait for me!
Hey, Crewson! Stop! Wait! Hold it!
Hold it! Hey. Come on, open up.
Open up.
- Let's go.
He spent his entire leave telling me
how much he loved his wife.
- What a waste.
- They'll be all right.
CREWSON: I promise you, darling,
you won't lose me. I'm indestructible.