Kissing Darkness (2014) Movie Script
1
[MUSIC]
[MUSIC]
[LAUGHING]
Oh, my god!
It's nice!
That's what fresh air
smells like?
It's wilderness.
[LAUGHING]
Well, we better start packing
stuff in.
Let's get this day started.
Yeah.
[MUSIC]
Are you going to help?
I am helping!
No, you're standing there.
Going to go check
the place out...
claim a room or two...
for when the girls get here.
Wouldn't want to be
too close to you...
Keeping our poor precious awake
with all the moaning
and boning.
Fuck you!
You wish, knob jockey!
[DOOR OPENING]
[DOOR CLOSING]
I can't believe we are missing
Pride weekend for this!
Yeah Brett!
Camping is bad enough,
not to mention you said anything
about bringing your
"rainbow in the dark", along!
Really guys?
When the idea of camping
first came up,
I practically had to beg him
to let us stay here.
Just give him a little time
to loosen up.
Something tells me
we didn't bring
enough lube
to loosen him up!
Very funny.
You know how he gets
when he is first around us.
The dude smells for one!
We don't need "his" cabin.
We can easily sleep in our tent.
Bitch please!
Like your tiny dick
can pitch a tent big enough
to accommodate all of us.
Better get some of
those magic growth pills
if that's your plan!
Ah!
[LAUGHING]
Shit!
[KNOCKING]
God! Damn it!
Fucking fairies...
Playing games already?
Shit, man!
Bitch,
I'll beat your ass for that!
[LAUGHING]
You straight boys
are too funny...
always wanting
to beat someone's ass.
Feel the tension baby!
Tight enough for ya?!
- Yeah, well...
- Fuck you!
Fuck you!
Get out here and give us a hand.
Besides,
this is his fathers cabin,
he kind of comes with the
package.
We wouldn't be here
if it wasn't for him,.
He isn't that bad,.
I'm not going to let that
muscle-bound fart machine
ruin my weekend.
Let's have some fun, boys.
[ANIMAL CALL]
Little late to help now
isn't it?
Where the hell are you going?
There's someone in here!
Yeah, you fucktard!
No really,
there is someone in here.
It sounds like it's coming
from the other room.
Remove the gerbil from your ass
already and grow up!
Swear, going to have to start
claiming you as one of the gays
if you keep the woman
in distress act up.
[MUSIC]
It's getting foggy out there.
I am so bored.
Is anyone getting
reception or
am I the only one with
the cheapo cereal-box phone?
It's all of us!
So, what do you think?
The "Cream Vanilla Scone"
candle
or the
"Raspberry-Lemon Sorbet"?
I don't know.
Besides, can't you forget about
Keith for just one week?
No! I miss him.
You are such a school-girl
when you're in love.
Shut up!
Look at you and Jonathan!
Just ever since he got this job,
we have a hard time to hang out
with each other.
This sucks.
Why are we even here?
I am sorry for thinking
we could all have fun
without doing something
gay for once.
Um hello?! We are gay!
You know what I mean guys.
I'm just so tired
of the scene...
The nightclubs,
the hookups, the sex...
Alright, maybe not the sex.
It just...
I want to do something normal
for a change.
- Like camping?
- Yeah.
And what an amazing
experience that was!
Exactly!
Did I mention I was bored?
Come on, you guys,
all have to be bored.
You too, Brad.
Can we please go back
in the morning?
Pride is just starting.
Please! Please!
I want to taste the rainbow!
I cannot believe this!
What?That you have perfected
the art of
taking your shirt off
for attention?
It's fucking summertime and
you guys got the damn fire on.
It's hot as hell in here.
Summertime doesn't account
for it still being cold.
Can you give me that?
I'm freezing!
Then put some more
fucking clothes on.
You guys are killing me!
What's with the glitter and
candles man?!
This is looking like the set
of a drag queen musical.
And you can stop
applying glitter.
It's there from the last time.
And, where are the girls?
Fleeing while they still can.
- Dude, what did you just say?
- Nothing,
Bullshit,
what did you just say?
I think it's funny
that I'm going to tell you
when I have sex with you.
Vlad and Jonathan sitting
in a tree... K-I-S...
Look at you...
All at giving me
the attention I deserve.
Cute!
Brett, better tell your
bitch boy to shut his mouth
before I break his face!
What?
Bobby... Whitney! Stop it.
Talk about third grade drama.
Shit!
[STRANGE NOISES]
Come out, we have a gun!
[DOOR BANGING]
[DOOR BANGING]
Ah!
[ANIMAL CALL]
Monsters!
- Are you alright?
- No,
Did they get you?
My life ashed before my eyes
thanks to a family of raccoons.
I'm really dead now."
decaying right before your eyes.
Want to see?
- Really? Does it hurt?
- Only the first time...
- That's good!
- Ok, I'm totally fine.
It's just a family of raccoons,
I opened up the door
and they scurried off.
I knew that.
Big bad Vlad and his Gucci-gun,
afraid of a cute little raccoon.
You ran too.
How much more of this charade
must we deal with.
You know what? Fuck this.
I'm hitting the shower.
Better not catch any of you
bitches trying to sneak a peek.
No worries there.
Novelty wears off in
closet-cases like you fast.
Stop it! Stop, stop, stop!
Until when must we deal with the
charade of Jerry Springerness?
Alright?
I'm going to go wash my face...
And then after that,
we going to get a drink.
One, two, three or thirty.
Where's the alcohol?!
[LAUGHING]
Another round!
Ooh,
Oh, oh!
R's all gone!
Stupid!
Stow!
Every last drop.
No!
We need more!
Vlad? Where does
daddy keep more at?
Yeah Vlad, you got anymore?
Candy!
Dinnertime!
Tasty taste surprise!
You're such a crack whore!
Am I the only one who's
not drunk around here?
Maybe if you weren't on a liquid
diet to begin with?!
Who doesn't know he is drunk?
Meat? No! Salad? No,
give him a straw and
a bottle, you know.
[LAUGHING]
Seriously?
I like... definitely could use
another drink... Vladly?
[STRANGE NOISES]
Do you guys hear something?
Yeah, I think my dad has
an entire box somewhere.
From the family reunion,
last summer.
Someone'; coming?!
Not yet!
[LAUGHS]
So Ash,"
Do you still wet the bed?
You know I stopped that
like a year...
...a year ago?
I solved that two years ago!
Well don't...
Water sports can be hot.
See, Vlad is loosening up
as we speak.
[LAUGHING]
See, I told you he would.
[LAUGHING]
Alcohol has a way of loosening
up the tightest of asses.
[MUMBLING]
Now".
If only the hot ones weren't
always such "closet" cases,
we'd be on the right track!
[LAUGHING]
You guys want to play a game?
Spin the bottle?
I thought we only played that
when we were at home alone...
Maybe later. Now screw off!
Oh, hell no!
Witches used to use
that to summon the devil!
You put that exactly
back where you found it.
Why does your family have
a Ouija board?
A few Halloweens ago, my Dad
thought it would be a good idea
to celebrate by scaring us.
Some family...
Explains why you need help.
[LAUGHS]
So what do you guys say?
My dad always said
these woods were haunted.
I say you march that discount
jeaned-ass of yours
back down the hallway and put it
back where you found it!
Do it now!
I don't want to see it.
Come on, Sky, live a little!
The gummy bears want to play!
And, do what?
Summon some hot buff demon
who will screw your brains out
and then just like
slip your throat open?
No!
Put it back where you found it!
Come on now, who's being the...
What's the term you guys use?
"Drama Queen"?
Oh no, he did not!
[LAUGHS]
Jock Boy's first queer-talk.
Wow!
Better be careful Skylar,
he might just be ready yet.
My dad used to tell us
these woods were haunted...
---by a girl.
Malice Valeria.
I knew a girl who had that once.
That was her name dumb-ass,
not a disease.
Oh...
See, there was this girl... She
was obsessed with the devil...
witchcraft!
All that torture pom shit.
Real nut case".
Especially in the bedroom!
Bath salt crazy"
Let me tell you.
How original!
Let me finish!
Years ago...
she invited a few friends
to go camping
and then to celebrate a small
outdoor union to her fiance".
Well, in the middle of
animal sacrifice,
blood bonding, whips & chains,
all that crazy shit".
She found her soon to-be
husband fucking her friend.
It totally destroys her,
breaks her heart completely.
She totally tears the two
of them apart
into a zillion pieces
then goes after the others,
one by one,
all to serve Satan
or some shit,.
Bullshit!
They say she even drank
their blood, man...
Sold herself to the devil!
Intent on finding a new lover
to fill the void,
killing all those
who get in the way.
[THUNDER]
Okay, okay, I'll do it.
I'll play the stupid
Ouija, Ouija game.
But first, I've got to...
have a drink.
Okay, I will only have
two drinks,.
Or three or seventeen...
And then, I'll have
a fuckin' quiche!
You know what? A fuckin' quiche!
Now, I'm going to wash my face!
Alright?
Bitches!
[SUSPENSE MUSIC]
[LAUGHING]
[LAUGHING]
Be careful.
I need a break.
You alright, kiddo?
Yeah. I'm just... hangover.
After everything last night,
I didn't get much sleep.
It was all fake though!
I mean... Come on, it was Vlad.
He loves to scare people.
And Ouija boards are
so Ashlee Simpson.
Hundreds of years of fraud
is what they are.
I don't know, it just seemed
so real. It's creepy.
It was moving on its own.
He even tried scaring us
yesterday, when we got here,
tried to say there was
someone in the cabin.
It was a damn raccoon.
What's going on between
you guys anyway?
You guys are going to keep
fighting the entire time?
He's just such an asshole.
And you're not?
You've had major
attitude lately.
I didn't say I was not.
You know, he'; just so uptight
and I...
"Vladish"!
Are you sure you're
still not drunk? "Vladish"?
What kind of word is that?
You know what I mean.
Yeah, yeah, I guess I do.
I have lived with him for
over two years now
and we had our moments, but
for the most part,
he is pretty cool.
I just think he just feels
outnumbered with all of us.
And ever since he got pulled
over for drunk driving,
he has been a little off...
Your point?
We haven't anything but alcohol
to drink this entire weekend.
See, now you are just
making excuses for him.
Things looked different for the
two of you all cuddly on couch.
I was asleep. Whatever!
I didn't even know it was him.
Right! Another case
of the clueless "newbie"
trying to cop a feel of
a guy he can never have.
You are such a cheater!
I swear. I didn't know
it was him, I was asleep.
What?
Just messing with you, kiddo.
Wish I could find
a guy who liked me...
You're such a brat!
That too... but...
apologize to Vlad.
Just try and get along.
Come on.
Hey, you coming', kiddo?
I found something.
So what are we having?
Oh, just a little something
something, my mama used to make!
You miss him, don't you?
Who? Brendan?
Yes, Brendan.
Who else are we talking about?
Come here.
You've still got chocolate
on your face, let me get it.
Spit queen!
So, do you?
Of course I do.
He cheated on me
and everything else.
I mean...it hurt. It really did.
People make mistakes, right?
I think you should give Brendan
another chance.
I mean, he has made more than
his fair share of apologizing.
And you really haven't been
the same without him, you know.
Maybe someday...
About time you two got back.
Damn near burned the breakfast!
What is that?
Just something
we found in the woods.
Oh, what a find!
And how many emo bitches
did you cut to get find that?
It's kind of cool.
Looks pretty old too.
Of course, it looks old,
it's covered in dirt!
[YAWNING]
What you girls
whining about now?
Huh! Nice piece of shit!
Wouldn't get five bucks for it
at the pawn shop,
but people always find crap
like this around here.
So now the straight guy
knows his jewelry.
How dare you go to Tiffany's
without a queerpeer in hand.
Now, everybody eat up!
I don't want it to get cold and
you tell me my cooking is bad.
Alright?
There's a hair in this.
Bored, bored, bored, I'm bored!
Yeah, we hear you already.
Maybe it's just you
who's boring.
One more drink
and I am going to puke.
I second that...
Want to make out for fun?
Maybe a little 69 action?
Try 68!
Blow me and I will owe you one.
[LAUGHING]
Vlad, didn't you say
there was a lake nearby?
Yeah.
Why aren't we there
swimming or something?
Can't. It's contaminated.
Oh, like toxic waste
and one-eyed creatures?
Radiation is fun kids,
let's all say it together.
Radiation! Radiation!
What the hell, kid?! Seriously,
you scare me at times.
If you talk in tongues or speak
backwards and I'm outta here.
Wow bob wow!!!
I still think we should
go back to town.
Pride, hello?!
lfwe leave now,
we can be there by tonight.
Clubbing?
Anyone?!
I am thinking the same thing.
Me too.
[WOMAN SCREAMING]
Alright!
I told you there were would
be girls here.
Sounds like the Wilhite sisters
are at their cabin.
What? They are real screamers
those two!
[WOMAN SCREAMING]
Time to get laid!
Hey wait! I'll go with you.
What was that about?
Apology time.
Cute',!
Guys want some candy?!
Hey,Vlad!
Wait up, I just...
I just want to apologize
for yesterday
and acting such a bitch.
So I just want to let you know
that I'm sorry
and I'm going to be cool.
It would be nice, ah...
are we cool?
Yeah, you know...
[KNOCKING]
What? No one here?
They probably ran into town
to pick up some friends.
These girls are pretty wild,
you know...
What are you doing?
This isn't our place.
Really?
Cool it, man.They love me.
We used to spend every summer
together.
My first blowjob was right here!
Well, if that's the case...
I'd use the restroom.
[BIRDS CALLING]
[WOMAN LAUGHING]
Okay confess...
He let you blow him, didn't he?
Or better yet,
he sucked you off?!
Baptized into gaydom
with a nice protein smoothie.
Something happened, Someone
sucked or fucked or".
You didn't just go
to apologize.
Nothing of much concern
happened.
Better not have!
You have the glowing look of
someone who just got lucky.
If you break Brett's heart,
it will be the last thing
that you ever do.
Jonathan!
Jonathan!
What the hell, dude?
It's not funny, man!
I want to feed your ass for
this!
Jonathan!
Jonathan!
Damn it, man!
So give already, what happened?
Fuck you!
Here we go again with the
suppressed homo-desires.
You know how long I waited
for you out there?
Igor lost man!
What the hell is your deal?
I got tired of waiting for you.
Yeah, not everything revolves
around you Vlad.
Points for Jonathan!
I wasn't talking to you,
Ashton!
Like he said, not everything
revolves around you.
Bullshit! I waited for you
for two fucking hours.
[LAUGHING]
Silly boy. Silly, silly...
Thought you were just taking
a piss like you said.
Then I figured you were
probably jerking off...
But, then you were gone!
What the hell happened?
What the hell is your deal?!
I think I'm going to go to bed.
Infection has taken its course.
My soul infiltrates you.
Now is the time to cross over.
[HEAVY BREATHING]
You know why I chose you, Vlad?
Cause I have been watching you.
For years, watching you grow
as you pawned off my legacy
as just another ghost story.
I have dreamt of you
touching me.
YOU! arms around me.
Your lips warming my body...
But, I can't-- Who are you?
Give in to me.
Take what I'm offering.
Deliver me from weakness
and let my power grow.
I am so fucked up.
I drank so much...
This can't be real.
Shh!
[GIGGLING]
Oh yeah! Kinky Wilhite?
You're too good.
This won't hurt a bit...
Ah!
[LAUGHING]
[MOANING]
Give in to me.
Feel yourself grow weak.
Return me to my love.
That feels great.
Summon this all you want.
[SCREAMING]
Bitch!
Shit man!
Untie me,
fucking butt pirate.
Help!
Fucking brownie poker!
[SHOWER WATER]
Unite with me,.
Unite with me,.
What happened to your callous?
Um, nothing.
They got lotion for that,
you know.
Thank you.
I was looking for those.
In the bathroom.
You coming?
Right behind you.
This is the place.
[BIRD CALL]
You feel it?
Last night, I was completely
covered in blood.
Now there's barely
a scratch on me.
It feels...
I got a pulse going through.
I've seen what we can have.
Even if only a dream,
it felt so real.
It's a wedding invitation!
Come again?
I see you got my invite.
You've only just begun
to help me grow.
I need the others.
Your friends...
If you can call them that...
No one is ever what they seem.
I've learned that for myself.
You felt the beginning of
my power last night, Jonathan,
when I entered you.
Even then it was so weak,
it helped me claim another...
Sweet little Vlad.
The two of you can
make it so much stronger.
You can allow it to grow.
Spread my power
and allow me to grow.
A kiss holds so much power.
Blood can feed you so much.
Let it ow freely.
Feed, feed...
Grow strong for me.
Feed...
Feed...
Love evokes
the darkest of emotions.
Unite me with my love...
Or die
and vanquish
in the dungeons of my hell.
Where the hell are they?
They have been gone
since this morning.
Fuckers!
They're obviously having sex.
Can you believe them?Thinking
we wouldn't actually find out.
"Where did you find my
sunglasses...
Prince Vlad in
shining closet?"
"Oh, in the Bedroom, my dear."
Shit!
Sorry Brett, but
you do not deserve this...
Jonathan needs a good
swift kick to the curb!
He's new to this.
What did I expect?
The boy grows up Mormon in
the middle of nowhere,
escapes to LA and
there you have it...
He's got boys on the mind.
I'm just getting a little
worried about them.
If they don't get back soon,
we have to call someone.
With what? Our cell phones don't
get reception here.
I have been trying to
call Keith since we got here.
Then maybe we gonna
have go look for them?
If we want to leave by morning,
it may be our only option.
Oh real smart, Brett.
This isn't a movie where a bunch
of queers get lost in the woods
and have to eat each others
asses in order to survive.
Exactly, I agree.
Let's stay here.
Total W!
They are probably
on their way back now,
following the yellow brick road
all the way here.
Must you compare everything
to a movie, Sky?
Something tells me
if you want to call Demille
and tell him you aren't
ready for your close-up.
You are still shiny.
Let's get the rest of our stuff
and hope they get back soon.
They should have been back
by now.
Something'; happened.
Flashlights dead.
I mean... I couldn't find
any batteries.
[PHONE RINGING]
Who dat?
I don't know, it's blocked.
[PHONE RINGING]
Hello?
[WHISPERING]
Didn't want to talk?
- Cold?
- No, it's vveirdskis!
Let's get some batteries
for the ashlight.
Someone'; calling you!
You answer it',!
I ain't your servant! You ain't
Daisy. Answer your own phone.
No, last time was creepy!
My god!
You rang?
Imagine that, it's for you.
- Who is it?
- The boogeyman! Be careful.
Hello?
Hello, sexy!
Keith!
Hi, cutie!
I've been trying to call you!
I have had no reception.
I think it's the rabbits,
you know they are scandalous.
I just glad that you are OK.
For the scandalous rabbits, you
used that a few times before.
You got me now... kind of...
it is kind of fuzzy though.
I'm sorry!
Don't be sorry.
Guess what! I'm down
the road a few miles.
You are?
Yeah, but there's a tree
blocking the road.
And I'm really fuckin' horny
and hungry as hell.
I was thinking if I'll park the
car, can you come pick me up?
[SIGHS]
[WOMAN LAUGHING]
Oh my God, babe!
You scared the shit out of me!
Are you okay? I am sorry...
Please...
- I was trying to scare you.
- Of course, you were.
I am so sorry. Is it bad?
Come on, let me see.
Let me see!
It looks OK, you going to live.
I'm so sorry,
you just took me off guard.
I'll get you some ice.
I'll be back...
You know Brett,
beating your boyfriend
is frowned upon in most states.
Excuse me?
You know what else is rude...
What the hell are
you talking about, Vlad?
You need to lay off the drink.
And you know what else is rude?
Seriously, Vlad...
Shut the fuck up!
It was an accident.
He scared me...
It still hurt.
Of course it hurt...
It was pretty rude.
But you know,what's
even more rude still?
Playing with your food...
You are sick in the head.
But I wasn't referring to you,
Brett.
Jonathan...
Do you always play with
your food?
Not when I can help it.
[SCREAMING]
[MOANING]
Keith!
[LAUGHING]
I'm glad you're okay.
I was worried when we talked
last night, your phone cutoff.
We didn't talk last night.
What? What do you mean
we didn't talk? Yes we did!
Maybe you dreamed it
because you missed me somehow.
No, no dream...
Unless you were too tired to
remember, we definitely talked.
No, we didn't!
No?Then...who was it?
I don't know.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
So this is it.The cabin.
Our torture chamber.
It can't be that bad.
That bad? It's been hell!
You guys, you can't be doing
this in front of me like this!
I'm so horny now that the
slightest bit of tease
or excitement may cause me
to explode!
Ooh,
Brett, are you here?
Brett? Brett?
Brett!
Ooh,
We just talked about this, guys.
You keep doing that
and you'll think
the Stay Puft Marshmallow
Man got gunned down again!
- Sounds hot!
- And sticky!
[LAUGHING]
Well, they aren't here, maybe
Brett went to look for them.
- Okay...
- You think?
Well, they are not here,
are they?
A little demonic,
don't you think?
What is that doing out again?
Who keeps dragging this out?
Put it away!
Loosen up,
it's just a damn game.
Just a damn game?
Just a damn game?
Linda Blair thought
it was just a game.
And we all know what
happen with that, don't we?
I am putting it away.
Thank you.
The boys came back.
Or should I say...
they came back
for a bite to eat.
You scared the hell out of me.
- Are you okay?
- Yes.
Yeah, I walked into a... branch.
The boys were out
hiking all day.
They found a great lookout
spot to watch falling stars.
Sounds like a bunch of
romantical bullshit.
They invited me to join them,
but I decided to stay back
so that you wouldn't
worry about me.
How'; Keith?
He's... good.
Hey, Brett!
Going somewhere?
Hello, Keith.
Getting outta here.
Going back to town!
How are you going to do that?
The boys left...
I mean, we can't leave
without them.
Oh, hell no! I'll come back
for them in the morning.
Look, if I leave now,
I can be there by 11:00.
Just in time to see the crowning
of the WeHo Sassy Queen & King!
How typical.
Isn't the road blocked?
I'll move it.
Or go around.
I'll figure it out. Look,
I've had enough of this place.
I can put up with
the lions and tigers...
Hell, even the bears...
Oh, my!
Even the bears every
now and then.
But even then, I prefer the ones
that wear leather harnesses
and are too stupid to realize
that I'm only irting with them
just because I am too cheap
to buy my own drinks.
Now, I'm going to go.
I'll be back for you
in the morning.l promise!
Don't make me miss Pride
for another night of...
well this! OK?
You know what? Take mine.
Switch up cars when
you get down there, alright?
See...
At least there is one
understanding guy around here.
Fine. Suit yourself.
You are giving me a headache.
Sq!
Really?
Thank you!
Why is your neck so scary?
- I ran into a bush.
- A bush?
Branch. Same thing...
Well, you got the marks
to prove it.
That or there was one hell
of a mosquito in here.
Look... Brett... Are you sure
that you are alright?
It's just a stomachache.
Something that I ate.
What?
I heard that!
There's been nothing wrong
with my cooking!
Don't be pulling the sick
act on me to get me to stay.
Just go already Skylar. Enough!
Alright, love you too!
Are you sure you are okay,
Brett?
[SCREAMING]
It's nothing.
Just a little squirrel
nibbling on some nuts.
I'm not a squirrel
Not yet a beaver
When I'm in my tree
so wild and so free
Ugh, this sucks!
Ok...
Help me!
Somebody please, help me.
Hello?
You okay?
Help me, please.
Get off of me!
Missing something?
Must you be going so soon?
Leaving rne hanging without
even a good night's kiss?
[LAUGHING]
[MOANING]
[LAUGHING]
You're rig ht...
- We can save that for later!
- Get off of me!
Oh you, silly silly boy...
Must a girl make all the moves?
Don't you know
you are bound to me?
Skylar, why do you cringe?
You're not attracted to me?
I used to think the same thing
about you, girly boys.
Especially when I found my
best friend fucking my husband
on my wedding night.
Can I let you in
on a little secret?
There is something that
young, stropping Vlad
left out of my story.
My best friend was a guy!
Wait! Wait!
Are you sure we
should be doing this?
We should have stopped this,
months ago!
You're crazy?
I wouldn't give this up
for the world!
Malice is too caught up in her
witches and demons to notice.
I guess... One more time.
One more time, huh?
Do you give a fuck?
God!
Does she have to bring
this Ouija board everywhere?
Fuck!
[WEEPING]
[SIGHS]
Malice!
It's not what it looks like!
Malice, put the knife down!
Malice...
What are you doing?
Put the knife down!
- We are sorry.
- Please, put the knife down.
This is crazy, come on...
[SCREAMING]
[SCREAMING]
[MOANING]
[CHOKING]
Looks like you bit your lip.
Are you okay?
Yeah. I, guess I fell asleep.
Bad dreams.
Looks like a bad dream to me!
[COUGHING]
I'll be fine.
I'm just a little tired.
I'll go fix the bed for you.
Look, if you need anything,
anything at all,
- I'm right next door.
- Okay.
Thank you.
Unite with me.
[MOANING]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Want to know a secret?
So what's the secret?
Oh...l missed you so much!
Me too...
What was that?
It's probably the guys
who just came back.
It's funny. Vlad comes here a
total straight closet-case
and he gets more action than the
rest of us have like in months.
Oh?
Well "the rest of us",
I mean everyone else.
That'; OK,
you still complete me.
Look, are you sure Brett
is okay there on the couch?
He seems pretty down and
shaken up about everything.
I cannot believe that Jonathan
cheated on him with Vlad,.
Brett's fine. He literally
forced me to take this bed
knowing that I made it for him.
Maybe he just feels guilty
for bringing us all up here?
Maybe, but...
Not to change the subject...
But since he gave up
this little bed,
would you like
to make use of it?
Now you are talking!
[MOANING]
How about some privacy, guys!
Yeah, what the hell is this?
The "Stepford Gays"?
I'm sorry.
I thought this was the room
for the climatic orgy scene.
Guess we will have to save that
for the "uncut" version.
What are you doing?
Stop!
[SCREAMING]
[DEMONIC SCREAMING]
[HEAVY BREATHING]
Ash!
Ashton.
Shhh!
What's going on?
I don't know...
I won: let it happen again.
[MOANING]
Are you ready for your
kiss of darkness?
It's time for you
to enter my world.
[LAUGHING]
[DEMONIC SCREAMING]
Your calling is here.
The strength
is limitless and eternal.
Immortal beauty, youth,
sex... fame.
You can have it all.
Our dark Lord,
the object my love, gives all.
Join me with him.
You feel his energy
and your bodies long for more.
To quiver at the touch
of his breathe on your neck.
You must do as I tell you.
Grow strong.
Kill, kill...
[SCREAMS]
[SCREAMING]
[SCREAMING]
[ROARING]
[MOANING]
[MOANING]
[HEAVY BREATHING]
[SCREAMING]
[SCREAMING]
[SCREAMING]
[SCREAMING]
[ROARS]
[DEMONIC NOISES]
We gather here today
in the joining of two.
I call upon the
forces of darkness
and the infernal powers
within to consume us
in their shadows.
We sacrifice our hearts...
Obey these words of power.
Keepers of the threshold,
watchers at the gate...
unbar the guarded door.
Let me go!
You'll all go to hell for this!
Isn't that the entire
point of it?
I thought you were the type to
always love a good wedding...
Even if it were for the damned!
Relax, your mind will be at ease
once I am finished with you.
I only want you for your body.
You ever love, Skylar?
What's wrong? You can't say?
Can't admit it to us...
or yourself perhaps?
We're your friends, Skylar.
Trust us.
I just need time to get to know
the fairy I'm about to induce
my husband into.
Fuck off bitch!
You have, haven't you?
Oh, so in love!
And it broke your heart too...
Even now, I can see your pain.
The look on your face
when you walked in on him,
your love,
sleeping with another.
The way your heart sunk
to depths you had only read
about as it turned into stone,.
Relationships are the most
beautiful as they are burning.
Just another aw in the human
condition, everybody wants
to love, but nobody wants
to do the maintenance.
Brendan broke your heart
and belongs in hell!
You hurt.
Now, hurt him in return.
Give us the power we need
to unite me with my prince
and you
will have the ability to destroy
him as he has done to you.
Just look into my eyes.
You are to become Death...
the destroyer of worlds...
Just look at me!
Fuck you,
you black filthy whore!
You carry so much hatred,
Skylar.
And you are an abomination.
I love it when you punish me.
Do it again!
Brett, you feel
the bitterness rising.
Trying time again
to gather Jonathan's affection.
And yet, you fail.
And yet, you come back,
begging for more...
Too addicted,
too blind to see the strangers
across the crowded room
who have eyes for you.
Your thoughts are caged
by another.
You're already
living in darkness.
So hungry for love.
So jealous of those that
Jonathan give his attention to.
To be ignored as you are
is the harshest.
You can kill that pain.
Brett, stop!
Look at what you're doing!
Sshh!
Adieu...
[WHISPERING]
[WHISPERING]
Guardian of hell,
my dark prince,
I summon thee!
Speak to me!
We follow your every command.
Take form and we shall serve.
Ah!
Sealed with a kiss.
Now, if anyone objects,
speak now or forever
hold your peace!
Time has come!
Now, connect into my eyes.
Penetrate into my soul.
You may kiss the bride!
I object!
[SCREAMING]
[MOANING]
[SCREAMING]
What the]
How did we get here?
We are at the Wilhite cabin.
Oh, no!
No, no... did we just...
Fuck!
No, no, no, no...
No way, Vlad.
What happened here?
That is the last time I go
binge drinking for a while!
I haven't blacked out
like that in...
well ever!
Told you... one more drink
and I was going to puke!
Seriously, that drink was
to get better with age.
It doesn't, it just becomes
bottled death!
You ready?
Just give me the keys, I want
to get the fuck out of here.
Time to find some real girls.
Let the kitty poking begin!
Here we go again!
Okay guys, you were right.
Next year we be totally cliche
and just go to Pride.
Camping sucks ass...
in a bad way!
- Hey!
- Hey Brendan!
You know...
I really am sorry for...
cheating on you.
I know, Brendan.
We all make mistakes. Just...
don't let it happen again.
How was the camping trip?
I'm surprised you survived,
the way you are so against
outdoors and everything.
Experience any inbreed psychos?
Not quite.
I actually had
a really good time.
- Really?
- Yeah.
You know...
I really do love you.
I love you too, Brendan.
We are each our own devil,
and we make this world our hell!
[SCREAMING]
[DEMONIC NOISES]
[LAUGHING]
You feel good to be bad.
[LAUGHING]
Come on, boys...
Let's go get a bite to eat.
Yes!
[MUSIC]
[MUSIC]
[LAUGHING]
Oh, my god!
It's nice!
That's what fresh air
smells like?
It's wilderness.
[LAUGHING]
Well, we better start packing
stuff in.
Let's get this day started.
Yeah.
[MUSIC]
Are you going to help?
I am helping!
No, you're standing there.
Going to go check
the place out...
claim a room or two...
for when the girls get here.
Wouldn't want to be
too close to you...
Keeping our poor precious awake
with all the moaning
and boning.
Fuck you!
You wish, knob jockey!
[DOOR OPENING]
[DOOR CLOSING]
I can't believe we are missing
Pride weekend for this!
Yeah Brett!
Camping is bad enough,
not to mention you said anything
about bringing your
"rainbow in the dark", along!
Really guys?
When the idea of camping
first came up,
I practically had to beg him
to let us stay here.
Just give him a little time
to loosen up.
Something tells me
we didn't bring
enough lube
to loosen him up!
Very funny.
You know how he gets
when he is first around us.
The dude smells for one!
We don't need "his" cabin.
We can easily sleep in our tent.
Bitch please!
Like your tiny dick
can pitch a tent big enough
to accommodate all of us.
Better get some of
those magic growth pills
if that's your plan!
Ah!
[LAUGHING]
Shit!
[KNOCKING]
God! Damn it!
Fucking fairies...
Playing games already?
Shit, man!
Bitch,
I'll beat your ass for that!
[LAUGHING]
You straight boys
are too funny...
always wanting
to beat someone's ass.
Feel the tension baby!
Tight enough for ya?!
- Yeah, well...
- Fuck you!
Fuck you!
Get out here and give us a hand.
Besides,
this is his fathers cabin,
he kind of comes with the
package.
We wouldn't be here
if it wasn't for him,.
He isn't that bad,.
I'm not going to let that
muscle-bound fart machine
ruin my weekend.
Let's have some fun, boys.
[ANIMAL CALL]
Little late to help now
isn't it?
Where the hell are you going?
There's someone in here!
Yeah, you fucktard!
No really,
there is someone in here.
It sounds like it's coming
from the other room.
Remove the gerbil from your ass
already and grow up!
Swear, going to have to start
claiming you as one of the gays
if you keep the woman
in distress act up.
[MUSIC]
It's getting foggy out there.
I am so bored.
Is anyone getting
reception or
am I the only one with
the cheapo cereal-box phone?
It's all of us!
So, what do you think?
The "Cream Vanilla Scone"
candle
or the
"Raspberry-Lemon Sorbet"?
I don't know.
Besides, can't you forget about
Keith for just one week?
No! I miss him.
You are such a school-girl
when you're in love.
Shut up!
Look at you and Jonathan!
Just ever since he got this job,
we have a hard time to hang out
with each other.
This sucks.
Why are we even here?
I am sorry for thinking
we could all have fun
without doing something
gay for once.
Um hello?! We are gay!
You know what I mean guys.
I'm just so tired
of the scene...
The nightclubs,
the hookups, the sex...
Alright, maybe not the sex.
It just...
I want to do something normal
for a change.
- Like camping?
- Yeah.
And what an amazing
experience that was!
Exactly!
Did I mention I was bored?
Come on, you guys,
all have to be bored.
You too, Brad.
Can we please go back
in the morning?
Pride is just starting.
Please! Please!
I want to taste the rainbow!
I cannot believe this!
What?That you have perfected
the art of
taking your shirt off
for attention?
It's fucking summertime and
you guys got the damn fire on.
It's hot as hell in here.
Summertime doesn't account
for it still being cold.
Can you give me that?
I'm freezing!
Then put some more
fucking clothes on.
You guys are killing me!
What's with the glitter and
candles man?!
This is looking like the set
of a drag queen musical.
And you can stop
applying glitter.
It's there from the last time.
And, where are the girls?
Fleeing while they still can.
- Dude, what did you just say?
- Nothing,
Bullshit,
what did you just say?
I think it's funny
that I'm going to tell you
when I have sex with you.
Vlad and Jonathan sitting
in a tree... K-I-S...
Look at you...
All at giving me
the attention I deserve.
Cute!
Brett, better tell your
bitch boy to shut his mouth
before I break his face!
What?
Bobby... Whitney! Stop it.
Talk about third grade drama.
Shit!
[STRANGE NOISES]
Come out, we have a gun!
[DOOR BANGING]
[DOOR BANGING]
Ah!
[ANIMAL CALL]
Monsters!
- Are you alright?
- No,
Did they get you?
My life ashed before my eyes
thanks to a family of raccoons.
I'm really dead now."
decaying right before your eyes.
Want to see?
- Really? Does it hurt?
- Only the first time...
- That's good!
- Ok, I'm totally fine.
It's just a family of raccoons,
I opened up the door
and they scurried off.
I knew that.
Big bad Vlad and his Gucci-gun,
afraid of a cute little raccoon.
You ran too.
How much more of this charade
must we deal with.
You know what? Fuck this.
I'm hitting the shower.
Better not catch any of you
bitches trying to sneak a peek.
No worries there.
Novelty wears off in
closet-cases like you fast.
Stop it! Stop, stop, stop!
Until when must we deal with the
charade of Jerry Springerness?
Alright?
I'm going to go wash my face...
And then after that,
we going to get a drink.
One, two, three or thirty.
Where's the alcohol?!
[LAUGHING]
Another round!
Ooh,
Oh, oh!
R's all gone!
Stupid!
Stow!
Every last drop.
No!
We need more!
Vlad? Where does
daddy keep more at?
Yeah Vlad, you got anymore?
Candy!
Dinnertime!
Tasty taste surprise!
You're such a crack whore!
Am I the only one who's
not drunk around here?
Maybe if you weren't on a liquid
diet to begin with?!
Who doesn't know he is drunk?
Meat? No! Salad? No,
give him a straw and
a bottle, you know.
[LAUGHING]
Seriously?
I like... definitely could use
another drink... Vladly?
[STRANGE NOISES]
Do you guys hear something?
Yeah, I think my dad has
an entire box somewhere.
From the family reunion,
last summer.
Someone'; coming?!
Not yet!
[LAUGHS]
So Ash,"
Do you still wet the bed?
You know I stopped that
like a year...
...a year ago?
I solved that two years ago!
Well don't...
Water sports can be hot.
See, Vlad is loosening up
as we speak.
[LAUGHING]
See, I told you he would.
[LAUGHING]
Alcohol has a way of loosening
up the tightest of asses.
[MUMBLING]
Now".
If only the hot ones weren't
always such "closet" cases,
we'd be on the right track!
[LAUGHING]
You guys want to play a game?
Spin the bottle?
I thought we only played that
when we were at home alone...
Maybe later. Now screw off!
Oh, hell no!
Witches used to use
that to summon the devil!
You put that exactly
back where you found it.
Why does your family have
a Ouija board?
A few Halloweens ago, my Dad
thought it would be a good idea
to celebrate by scaring us.
Some family...
Explains why you need help.
[LAUGHS]
So what do you guys say?
My dad always said
these woods were haunted.
I say you march that discount
jeaned-ass of yours
back down the hallway and put it
back where you found it!
Do it now!
I don't want to see it.
Come on, Sky, live a little!
The gummy bears want to play!
And, do what?
Summon some hot buff demon
who will screw your brains out
and then just like
slip your throat open?
No!
Put it back where you found it!
Come on now, who's being the...
What's the term you guys use?
"Drama Queen"?
Oh no, he did not!
[LAUGHS]
Jock Boy's first queer-talk.
Wow!
Better be careful Skylar,
he might just be ready yet.
My dad used to tell us
these woods were haunted...
---by a girl.
Malice Valeria.
I knew a girl who had that once.
That was her name dumb-ass,
not a disease.
Oh...
See, there was this girl... She
was obsessed with the devil...
witchcraft!
All that torture pom shit.
Real nut case".
Especially in the bedroom!
Bath salt crazy"
Let me tell you.
How original!
Let me finish!
Years ago...
she invited a few friends
to go camping
and then to celebrate a small
outdoor union to her fiance".
Well, in the middle of
animal sacrifice,
blood bonding, whips & chains,
all that crazy shit".
She found her soon to-be
husband fucking her friend.
It totally destroys her,
breaks her heart completely.
She totally tears the two
of them apart
into a zillion pieces
then goes after the others,
one by one,
all to serve Satan
or some shit,.
Bullshit!
They say she even drank
their blood, man...
Sold herself to the devil!
Intent on finding a new lover
to fill the void,
killing all those
who get in the way.
[THUNDER]
Okay, okay, I'll do it.
I'll play the stupid
Ouija, Ouija game.
But first, I've got to...
have a drink.
Okay, I will only have
two drinks,.
Or three or seventeen...
And then, I'll have
a fuckin' quiche!
You know what? A fuckin' quiche!
Now, I'm going to wash my face!
Alright?
Bitches!
[SUSPENSE MUSIC]
[LAUGHING]
[LAUGHING]
Be careful.
I need a break.
You alright, kiddo?
Yeah. I'm just... hangover.
After everything last night,
I didn't get much sleep.
It was all fake though!
I mean... Come on, it was Vlad.
He loves to scare people.
And Ouija boards are
so Ashlee Simpson.
Hundreds of years of fraud
is what they are.
I don't know, it just seemed
so real. It's creepy.
It was moving on its own.
He even tried scaring us
yesterday, when we got here,
tried to say there was
someone in the cabin.
It was a damn raccoon.
What's going on between
you guys anyway?
You guys are going to keep
fighting the entire time?
He's just such an asshole.
And you're not?
You've had major
attitude lately.
I didn't say I was not.
You know, he'; just so uptight
and I...
"Vladish"!
Are you sure you're
still not drunk? "Vladish"?
What kind of word is that?
You know what I mean.
Yeah, yeah, I guess I do.
I have lived with him for
over two years now
and we had our moments, but
for the most part,
he is pretty cool.
I just think he just feels
outnumbered with all of us.
And ever since he got pulled
over for drunk driving,
he has been a little off...
Your point?
We haven't anything but alcohol
to drink this entire weekend.
See, now you are just
making excuses for him.
Things looked different for the
two of you all cuddly on couch.
I was asleep. Whatever!
I didn't even know it was him.
Right! Another case
of the clueless "newbie"
trying to cop a feel of
a guy he can never have.
You are such a cheater!
I swear. I didn't know
it was him, I was asleep.
What?
Just messing with you, kiddo.
Wish I could find
a guy who liked me...
You're such a brat!
That too... but...
apologize to Vlad.
Just try and get along.
Come on.
Hey, you coming', kiddo?
I found something.
So what are we having?
Oh, just a little something
something, my mama used to make!
You miss him, don't you?
Who? Brendan?
Yes, Brendan.
Who else are we talking about?
Come here.
You've still got chocolate
on your face, let me get it.
Spit queen!
So, do you?
Of course I do.
He cheated on me
and everything else.
I mean...it hurt. It really did.
People make mistakes, right?
I think you should give Brendan
another chance.
I mean, he has made more than
his fair share of apologizing.
And you really haven't been
the same without him, you know.
Maybe someday...
About time you two got back.
Damn near burned the breakfast!
What is that?
Just something
we found in the woods.
Oh, what a find!
And how many emo bitches
did you cut to get find that?
It's kind of cool.
Looks pretty old too.
Of course, it looks old,
it's covered in dirt!
[YAWNING]
What you girls
whining about now?
Huh! Nice piece of shit!
Wouldn't get five bucks for it
at the pawn shop,
but people always find crap
like this around here.
So now the straight guy
knows his jewelry.
How dare you go to Tiffany's
without a queerpeer in hand.
Now, everybody eat up!
I don't want it to get cold and
you tell me my cooking is bad.
Alright?
There's a hair in this.
Bored, bored, bored, I'm bored!
Yeah, we hear you already.
Maybe it's just you
who's boring.
One more drink
and I am going to puke.
I second that...
Want to make out for fun?
Maybe a little 69 action?
Try 68!
Blow me and I will owe you one.
[LAUGHING]
Vlad, didn't you say
there was a lake nearby?
Yeah.
Why aren't we there
swimming or something?
Can't. It's contaminated.
Oh, like toxic waste
and one-eyed creatures?
Radiation is fun kids,
let's all say it together.
Radiation! Radiation!
What the hell, kid?! Seriously,
you scare me at times.
If you talk in tongues or speak
backwards and I'm outta here.
Wow bob wow!!!
I still think we should
go back to town.
Pride, hello?!
lfwe leave now,
we can be there by tonight.
Clubbing?
Anyone?!
I am thinking the same thing.
Me too.
[WOMAN SCREAMING]
Alright!
I told you there were would
be girls here.
Sounds like the Wilhite sisters
are at their cabin.
What? They are real screamers
those two!
[WOMAN SCREAMING]
Time to get laid!
Hey wait! I'll go with you.
What was that about?
Apology time.
Cute',!
Guys want some candy?!
Hey,Vlad!
Wait up, I just...
I just want to apologize
for yesterday
and acting such a bitch.
So I just want to let you know
that I'm sorry
and I'm going to be cool.
It would be nice, ah...
are we cool?
Yeah, you know...
[KNOCKING]
What? No one here?
They probably ran into town
to pick up some friends.
These girls are pretty wild,
you know...
What are you doing?
This isn't our place.
Really?
Cool it, man.They love me.
We used to spend every summer
together.
My first blowjob was right here!
Well, if that's the case...
I'd use the restroom.
[BIRDS CALLING]
[WOMAN LAUGHING]
Okay confess...
He let you blow him, didn't he?
Or better yet,
he sucked you off?!
Baptized into gaydom
with a nice protein smoothie.
Something happened, Someone
sucked or fucked or".
You didn't just go
to apologize.
Nothing of much concern
happened.
Better not have!
You have the glowing look of
someone who just got lucky.
If you break Brett's heart,
it will be the last thing
that you ever do.
Jonathan!
Jonathan!
What the hell, dude?
It's not funny, man!
I want to feed your ass for
this!
Jonathan!
Jonathan!
Damn it, man!
So give already, what happened?
Fuck you!
Here we go again with the
suppressed homo-desires.
You know how long I waited
for you out there?
Igor lost man!
What the hell is your deal?
I got tired of waiting for you.
Yeah, not everything revolves
around you Vlad.
Points for Jonathan!
I wasn't talking to you,
Ashton!
Like he said, not everything
revolves around you.
Bullshit! I waited for you
for two fucking hours.
[LAUGHING]
Silly boy. Silly, silly...
Thought you were just taking
a piss like you said.
Then I figured you were
probably jerking off...
But, then you were gone!
What the hell happened?
What the hell is your deal?!
I think I'm going to go to bed.
Infection has taken its course.
My soul infiltrates you.
Now is the time to cross over.
[HEAVY BREATHING]
You know why I chose you, Vlad?
Cause I have been watching you.
For years, watching you grow
as you pawned off my legacy
as just another ghost story.
I have dreamt of you
touching me.
YOU! arms around me.
Your lips warming my body...
But, I can't-- Who are you?
Give in to me.
Take what I'm offering.
Deliver me from weakness
and let my power grow.
I am so fucked up.
I drank so much...
This can't be real.
Shh!
[GIGGLING]
Oh yeah! Kinky Wilhite?
You're too good.
This won't hurt a bit...
Ah!
[LAUGHING]
[MOANING]
Give in to me.
Feel yourself grow weak.
Return me to my love.
That feels great.
Summon this all you want.
[SCREAMING]
Bitch!
Shit man!
Untie me,
fucking butt pirate.
Help!
Fucking brownie poker!
[SHOWER WATER]
Unite with me,.
Unite with me,.
What happened to your callous?
Um, nothing.
They got lotion for that,
you know.
Thank you.
I was looking for those.
In the bathroom.
You coming?
Right behind you.
This is the place.
[BIRD CALL]
You feel it?
Last night, I was completely
covered in blood.
Now there's barely
a scratch on me.
It feels...
I got a pulse going through.
I've seen what we can have.
Even if only a dream,
it felt so real.
It's a wedding invitation!
Come again?
I see you got my invite.
You've only just begun
to help me grow.
I need the others.
Your friends...
If you can call them that...
No one is ever what they seem.
I've learned that for myself.
You felt the beginning of
my power last night, Jonathan,
when I entered you.
Even then it was so weak,
it helped me claim another...
Sweet little Vlad.
The two of you can
make it so much stronger.
You can allow it to grow.
Spread my power
and allow me to grow.
A kiss holds so much power.
Blood can feed you so much.
Let it ow freely.
Feed, feed...
Grow strong for me.
Feed...
Feed...
Love evokes
the darkest of emotions.
Unite me with my love...
Or die
and vanquish
in the dungeons of my hell.
Where the hell are they?
They have been gone
since this morning.
Fuckers!
They're obviously having sex.
Can you believe them?Thinking
we wouldn't actually find out.
"Where did you find my
sunglasses...
Prince Vlad in
shining closet?"
"Oh, in the Bedroom, my dear."
Shit!
Sorry Brett, but
you do not deserve this...
Jonathan needs a good
swift kick to the curb!
He's new to this.
What did I expect?
The boy grows up Mormon in
the middle of nowhere,
escapes to LA and
there you have it...
He's got boys on the mind.
I'm just getting a little
worried about them.
If they don't get back soon,
we have to call someone.
With what? Our cell phones don't
get reception here.
I have been trying to
call Keith since we got here.
Then maybe we gonna
have go look for them?
If we want to leave by morning,
it may be our only option.
Oh real smart, Brett.
This isn't a movie where a bunch
of queers get lost in the woods
and have to eat each others
asses in order to survive.
Exactly, I agree.
Let's stay here.
Total W!
They are probably
on their way back now,
following the yellow brick road
all the way here.
Must you compare everything
to a movie, Sky?
Something tells me
if you want to call Demille
and tell him you aren't
ready for your close-up.
You are still shiny.
Let's get the rest of our stuff
and hope they get back soon.
They should have been back
by now.
Something'; happened.
Flashlights dead.
I mean... I couldn't find
any batteries.
[PHONE RINGING]
Who dat?
I don't know, it's blocked.
[PHONE RINGING]
Hello?
[WHISPERING]
Didn't want to talk?
- Cold?
- No, it's vveirdskis!
Let's get some batteries
for the ashlight.
Someone'; calling you!
You answer it',!
I ain't your servant! You ain't
Daisy. Answer your own phone.
No, last time was creepy!
My god!
You rang?
Imagine that, it's for you.
- Who is it?
- The boogeyman! Be careful.
Hello?
Hello, sexy!
Keith!
Hi, cutie!
I've been trying to call you!
I have had no reception.
I think it's the rabbits,
you know they are scandalous.
I just glad that you are OK.
For the scandalous rabbits, you
used that a few times before.
You got me now... kind of...
it is kind of fuzzy though.
I'm sorry!
Don't be sorry.
Guess what! I'm down
the road a few miles.
You are?
Yeah, but there's a tree
blocking the road.
And I'm really fuckin' horny
and hungry as hell.
I was thinking if I'll park the
car, can you come pick me up?
[SIGHS]
[WOMAN LAUGHING]
Oh my God, babe!
You scared the shit out of me!
Are you okay? I am sorry...
Please...
- I was trying to scare you.
- Of course, you were.
I am so sorry. Is it bad?
Come on, let me see.
Let me see!
It looks OK, you going to live.
I'm so sorry,
you just took me off guard.
I'll get you some ice.
I'll be back...
You know Brett,
beating your boyfriend
is frowned upon in most states.
Excuse me?
You know what else is rude...
What the hell are
you talking about, Vlad?
You need to lay off the drink.
And you know what else is rude?
Seriously, Vlad...
Shut the fuck up!
It was an accident.
He scared me...
It still hurt.
Of course it hurt...
It was pretty rude.
But you know,what's
even more rude still?
Playing with your food...
You are sick in the head.
But I wasn't referring to you,
Brett.
Jonathan...
Do you always play with
your food?
Not when I can help it.
[SCREAMING]
[MOANING]
Keith!
[LAUGHING]
I'm glad you're okay.
I was worried when we talked
last night, your phone cutoff.
We didn't talk last night.
What? What do you mean
we didn't talk? Yes we did!
Maybe you dreamed it
because you missed me somehow.
No, no dream...
Unless you were too tired to
remember, we definitely talked.
No, we didn't!
No?Then...who was it?
I don't know.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
So this is it.The cabin.
Our torture chamber.
It can't be that bad.
That bad? It's been hell!
You guys, you can't be doing
this in front of me like this!
I'm so horny now that the
slightest bit of tease
or excitement may cause me
to explode!
Ooh,
Brett, are you here?
Brett? Brett?
Brett!
Ooh,
We just talked about this, guys.
You keep doing that
and you'll think
the Stay Puft Marshmallow
Man got gunned down again!
- Sounds hot!
- And sticky!
[LAUGHING]
Well, they aren't here, maybe
Brett went to look for them.
- Okay...
- You think?
Well, they are not here,
are they?
A little demonic,
don't you think?
What is that doing out again?
Who keeps dragging this out?
Put it away!
Loosen up,
it's just a damn game.
Just a damn game?
Just a damn game?
Linda Blair thought
it was just a game.
And we all know what
happen with that, don't we?
I am putting it away.
Thank you.
The boys came back.
Or should I say...
they came back
for a bite to eat.
You scared the hell out of me.
- Are you okay?
- Yes.
Yeah, I walked into a... branch.
The boys were out
hiking all day.
They found a great lookout
spot to watch falling stars.
Sounds like a bunch of
romantical bullshit.
They invited me to join them,
but I decided to stay back
so that you wouldn't
worry about me.
How'; Keith?
He's... good.
Hey, Brett!
Going somewhere?
Hello, Keith.
Getting outta here.
Going back to town!
How are you going to do that?
The boys left...
I mean, we can't leave
without them.
Oh, hell no! I'll come back
for them in the morning.
Look, if I leave now,
I can be there by 11:00.
Just in time to see the crowning
of the WeHo Sassy Queen & King!
How typical.
Isn't the road blocked?
I'll move it.
Or go around.
I'll figure it out. Look,
I've had enough of this place.
I can put up with
the lions and tigers...
Hell, even the bears...
Oh, my!
Even the bears every
now and then.
But even then, I prefer the ones
that wear leather harnesses
and are too stupid to realize
that I'm only irting with them
just because I am too cheap
to buy my own drinks.
Now, I'm going to go.
I'll be back for you
in the morning.l promise!
Don't make me miss Pride
for another night of...
well this! OK?
You know what? Take mine.
Switch up cars when
you get down there, alright?
See...
At least there is one
understanding guy around here.
Fine. Suit yourself.
You are giving me a headache.
Sq!
Really?
Thank you!
Why is your neck so scary?
- I ran into a bush.
- A bush?
Branch. Same thing...
Well, you got the marks
to prove it.
That or there was one hell
of a mosquito in here.
Look... Brett... Are you sure
that you are alright?
It's just a stomachache.
Something that I ate.
What?
I heard that!
There's been nothing wrong
with my cooking!
Don't be pulling the sick
act on me to get me to stay.
Just go already Skylar. Enough!
Alright, love you too!
Are you sure you are okay,
Brett?
[SCREAMING]
It's nothing.
Just a little squirrel
nibbling on some nuts.
I'm not a squirrel
Not yet a beaver
When I'm in my tree
so wild and so free
Ugh, this sucks!
Ok...
Help me!
Somebody please, help me.
Hello?
You okay?
Help me, please.
Get off of me!
Missing something?
Must you be going so soon?
Leaving rne hanging without
even a good night's kiss?
[LAUGHING]
[MOANING]
[LAUGHING]
You're rig ht...
- We can save that for later!
- Get off of me!
Oh you, silly silly boy...
Must a girl make all the moves?
Don't you know
you are bound to me?
Skylar, why do you cringe?
You're not attracted to me?
I used to think the same thing
about you, girly boys.
Especially when I found my
best friend fucking my husband
on my wedding night.
Can I let you in
on a little secret?
There is something that
young, stropping Vlad
left out of my story.
My best friend was a guy!
Wait! Wait!
Are you sure we
should be doing this?
We should have stopped this,
months ago!
You're crazy?
I wouldn't give this up
for the world!
Malice is too caught up in her
witches and demons to notice.
I guess... One more time.
One more time, huh?
Do you give a fuck?
God!
Does she have to bring
this Ouija board everywhere?
Fuck!
[WEEPING]
[SIGHS]
Malice!
It's not what it looks like!
Malice, put the knife down!
Malice...
What are you doing?
Put the knife down!
- We are sorry.
- Please, put the knife down.
This is crazy, come on...
[SCREAMING]
[SCREAMING]
[MOANING]
[CHOKING]
Looks like you bit your lip.
Are you okay?
Yeah. I, guess I fell asleep.
Bad dreams.
Looks like a bad dream to me!
[COUGHING]
I'll be fine.
I'm just a little tired.
I'll go fix the bed for you.
Look, if you need anything,
anything at all,
- I'm right next door.
- Okay.
Thank you.
Unite with me.
[MOANING]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Want to know a secret?
So what's the secret?
Oh...l missed you so much!
Me too...
What was that?
It's probably the guys
who just came back.
It's funny. Vlad comes here a
total straight closet-case
and he gets more action than the
rest of us have like in months.
Oh?
Well "the rest of us",
I mean everyone else.
That'; OK,
you still complete me.
Look, are you sure Brett
is okay there on the couch?
He seems pretty down and
shaken up about everything.
I cannot believe that Jonathan
cheated on him with Vlad,.
Brett's fine. He literally
forced me to take this bed
knowing that I made it for him.
Maybe he just feels guilty
for bringing us all up here?
Maybe, but...
Not to change the subject...
But since he gave up
this little bed,
would you like
to make use of it?
Now you are talking!
[MOANING]
How about some privacy, guys!
Yeah, what the hell is this?
The "Stepford Gays"?
I'm sorry.
I thought this was the room
for the climatic orgy scene.
Guess we will have to save that
for the "uncut" version.
What are you doing?
Stop!
[SCREAMING]
[DEMONIC SCREAMING]
[HEAVY BREATHING]
Ash!
Ashton.
Shhh!
What's going on?
I don't know...
I won: let it happen again.
[MOANING]
Are you ready for your
kiss of darkness?
It's time for you
to enter my world.
[LAUGHING]
[DEMONIC SCREAMING]
Your calling is here.
The strength
is limitless and eternal.
Immortal beauty, youth,
sex... fame.
You can have it all.
Our dark Lord,
the object my love, gives all.
Join me with him.
You feel his energy
and your bodies long for more.
To quiver at the touch
of his breathe on your neck.
You must do as I tell you.
Grow strong.
Kill, kill...
[SCREAMS]
[SCREAMING]
[SCREAMING]
[ROARING]
[MOANING]
[MOANING]
[HEAVY BREATHING]
[SCREAMING]
[SCREAMING]
[SCREAMING]
[SCREAMING]
[ROARS]
[DEMONIC NOISES]
We gather here today
in the joining of two.
I call upon the
forces of darkness
and the infernal powers
within to consume us
in their shadows.
We sacrifice our hearts...
Obey these words of power.
Keepers of the threshold,
watchers at the gate...
unbar the guarded door.
Let me go!
You'll all go to hell for this!
Isn't that the entire
point of it?
I thought you were the type to
always love a good wedding...
Even if it were for the damned!
Relax, your mind will be at ease
once I am finished with you.
I only want you for your body.
You ever love, Skylar?
What's wrong? You can't say?
Can't admit it to us...
or yourself perhaps?
We're your friends, Skylar.
Trust us.
I just need time to get to know
the fairy I'm about to induce
my husband into.
Fuck off bitch!
You have, haven't you?
Oh, so in love!
And it broke your heart too...
Even now, I can see your pain.
The look on your face
when you walked in on him,
your love,
sleeping with another.
The way your heart sunk
to depths you had only read
about as it turned into stone,.
Relationships are the most
beautiful as they are burning.
Just another aw in the human
condition, everybody wants
to love, but nobody wants
to do the maintenance.
Brendan broke your heart
and belongs in hell!
You hurt.
Now, hurt him in return.
Give us the power we need
to unite me with my prince
and you
will have the ability to destroy
him as he has done to you.
Just look into my eyes.
You are to become Death...
the destroyer of worlds...
Just look at me!
Fuck you,
you black filthy whore!
You carry so much hatred,
Skylar.
And you are an abomination.
I love it when you punish me.
Do it again!
Brett, you feel
the bitterness rising.
Trying time again
to gather Jonathan's affection.
And yet, you fail.
And yet, you come back,
begging for more...
Too addicted,
too blind to see the strangers
across the crowded room
who have eyes for you.
Your thoughts are caged
by another.
You're already
living in darkness.
So hungry for love.
So jealous of those that
Jonathan give his attention to.
To be ignored as you are
is the harshest.
You can kill that pain.
Brett, stop!
Look at what you're doing!
Sshh!
Adieu...
[WHISPERING]
[WHISPERING]
Guardian of hell,
my dark prince,
I summon thee!
Speak to me!
We follow your every command.
Take form and we shall serve.
Ah!
Sealed with a kiss.
Now, if anyone objects,
speak now or forever
hold your peace!
Time has come!
Now, connect into my eyes.
Penetrate into my soul.
You may kiss the bride!
I object!
[SCREAMING]
[MOANING]
[SCREAMING]
What the]
How did we get here?
We are at the Wilhite cabin.
Oh, no!
No, no... did we just...
Fuck!
No, no, no, no...
No way, Vlad.
What happened here?
That is the last time I go
binge drinking for a while!
I haven't blacked out
like that in...
well ever!
Told you... one more drink
and I was going to puke!
Seriously, that drink was
to get better with age.
It doesn't, it just becomes
bottled death!
You ready?
Just give me the keys, I want
to get the fuck out of here.
Time to find some real girls.
Let the kitty poking begin!
Here we go again!
Okay guys, you were right.
Next year we be totally cliche
and just go to Pride.
Camping sucks ass...
in a bad way!
- Hey!
- Hey Brendan!
You know...
I really am sorry for...
cheating on you.
I know, Brendan.
We all make mistakes. Just...
don't let it happen again.
How was the camping trip?
I'm surprised you survived,
the way you are so against
outdoors and everything.
Experience any inbreed psychos?
Not quite.
I actually had
a really good time.
- Really?
- Yeah.
You know...
I really do love you.
I love you too, Brendan.
We are each our own devil,
and we make this world our hell!
[SCREAMING]
[DEMONIC NOISES]
[LAUGHING]
You feel good to be bad.
[LAUGHING]
Come on, boys...
Let's go get a bite to eat.
Yes!