Knife Fight (2012) Movie Script

[Projector whirring]
[Bright rock and roll music]
# You can get it
if you really want #
# You can get it
if you really want #
# You can get it
if you really want #
# But you must try #
# Try and try #
# Try and try #
# You'll succeed at last #
# Listen #
# Persecution,
you must bear #
# Win or lose,
you've got to get your share #
# Got your mind
set on a dream #
# You can get it,
though hard it may seem now #
# You can get it
if you really want #
# You can get it
if you really want #
# You can get it
if you really want #
# But you must try #
# Try and try #
# Try and try #
# You'll succeed at last #
# And I know it #
# Listen #
# Rome was not built in a day #
# Opposition
will come your way #
# But the harder the battle,
you see #
# Is the sweeter the victory,
yeah #
# You can get it
if you really want #
# You can get it
if you really want #
# You can get it
if you really want #
# But you must try #
# Try and try #
# Try and try #
# You'll succeed at last #
[intense instrumental music]
Governor, we are not, not, not
going to be explaining.
When we're explaining,
we're losing.
[Cell phone ringing]
Now, we'll protect you
from this bullshit.
We will attack, attack,
and attack again.
This is Paul Turner,
former presidential aide
and the guy
for politicians in trouble.
He's called
"the master of disaster."
But I need Sophia
by your side.
I've got the, uh,
Vermont gov calling in.
And this is me,
Kerstin Rhee, his assistant.
I learned more
in my first week with Paul
on how it all really works
than in four years
of college.
All right.
I'll call you later.
You... don't worry.
Just... just don't.
Thank you.
Hey, listen.
I didn't have much.
Absent father,
mother with two low-paying jobs,
and my sister Mary,
my big sister,
who always dreamed
of becoming a doctor.
But, as hard
as my mother worked,
she couldn't keep up
the payments
on our little house.
And one day, the bank came
and foreclosed on us.
Larry Becker
was born to run for office.
He's taken on
the Wall Street banks,
who, in return, have declared
jihad against him.
And he's in a bare-knuckled
reelection campaign
against a crazy
ex-baseball player.
First we moved
into a homeless shelter,
but that wasn't safe.
Eventually we found
a tiny one-bedroom apartment...
three of us.
The press will most likely
have questions about
Afghan troop levels,
the Travis base closing,
levies, the budget debates.
Just blow through
those questions
and pivot to our message
of the day.
All right, great.
Got it.
Thank you, guys.
All right.
Stephen Green
is the real deal:
War hero, cares,
actually knows the facts.
And he's cruising
for reelection
against Duff Campbell,
who has none
of those things,
but Duff does have good hair
and unlimited money,
which is the mother's milk
of all politics.
My mama struggled
day and night,
but it wasn't enough.
Eventually, my sister Mary,
she had to quit high school,
get a job as a waitress.
Both of them working
just to provide me
with some food, clothing,
roof over my head.
What do you say
to Campbell's charge
that you're afraid
to debate him?
What is the air force
gonna do about the Travis Base?
As a former Navy SEAL,
what do you think about the way
they handled it?
Gas prices
are at a record high.
Companies are making
enormous profits.
What's your response?
Okay, guys,
these are great questions.
I'm gonna get to all these,
But my primary purpose
here today is to talk
about our most precious
natural resource,
which is our children.
We now live in a country
where over 2/3 of the population
is overweight.
Now, 90%
of our middle schools
no longer have
daily gym classes.
At night, I'd hear my mama
come home
from her late shift
at the tanning plant.
As I lay there in bed...
I could hear my mama cry.
And I ask you,
how is it possible
that a country that can afford
to bail out
the Wall Street banks
to the tune
of over $2 trillion...
how could that country
not afford to have
those same banks
from taking away
the American dream
from so many
hardworking Americans?
It's just not right.
This is a crisis.
And it's a crisis that we owe it
to our children to solve.
And the time to solve it is now.
Thank you.
[All speaking at once]
Just a couple more questions
on Afghan troop levels, Senator.
Hey, Reed?
Why don't you go fishing
for the three-day weekend?
We'll dump the divorce news
after 5:00 on Friday
by tipping the AP
to the legal filings
on an embargoed basis.
They'll play on the wires
after 7:00.
It's the perfect time
for a document dump.
All right.
Talk to you later.
He'll live.
[Kids shouting]
[People cheering]
All right!
Money shot.
The message of the day.
This one's yours, all right?
Oh, God!
Sir, are you okay?
Yeah, I'm all right.
Thanks. Thanks.
All right!
Come on!
Same thing?
Now, as I stand here
in the governor's house...
the people's house,
I am using the power
of this house
to help keep
the people of Kentucky
in their houses.
Today I am sending a bill
to the state senate
that offers real
and solid protection
from the kind of
cruel foreclosures
that my mama and so many
hardworking Kentuckians
have been forced to endure.
And I'm asking for you
to back me on this.
It's... it's fair, it's decent,
and it is right.
You don't have to do that.
You're an aide,
not a waitress.
It's my pleasure.
And can I ask you something?
Of course.
How much of that story
you just told is true?
Come here.
Room 1600?
You're Tawny?
To the rescue.
Down the hall
to your left.
Hey, could you be
a bit more obvious?
I thought
he was getting a masseuse,
not some starlet
playing a masseuse.
Hey, she and her company
were vetted.
- She had the recs.
- Yeah.
She has the killer bod.
That's the only rec that counts.
You know, come to think of it,
my back feels stiff too.
Yeah, that's not
the only thing, you jerk.
In Kentucky,
we're going to the mattresses.
I've got some ideas
on the statement.
Well, they better be good,
'cause if he goes down,
it's gonna be
a four-day school week there.
Minimum wage will drop
to 75 an hour.
You'll be able to light
the Kentucky rivers on fire.
How late are we?
Real time or Paul time?
Exactly on time.
How do you know this person?
She's my law school
roommate's sister.
But the object is
to get in, get out,
and get back
to the Kentucky mess.
Get me Paul.
Get him now.
Senator, let's just
go through this bit-by-bit.
What are we
talking about here?
She's claiming
that we did it.
Well, did what?
A happy ending, or...
I'm sure she thinks
it'll get her a bigger check.
Look, man, I am dying
because of your photo op,
and now I'm dying because
of this fucking psycho.
And what kind
of masseuse is this,
like a masseuse masseuse
or an escort?
Julia got her from
the Speaker of the Assembly!
We're in room five.
Okay, how many people
know about this?
Just us.
Come on, man.
This is...
This could be a career killer.
Okay, I need 15 minutes here...
make it 10...
and I am on this.
Look out the door:
Malnourished children,
AIDS rampant,
people looking for decent jobs
or any job,
for that matter,
victims of an education system
horribly broken,
and hope, something in
extremely short supply.
I completely agree,
and I can only imagine
what it's like
to try to run this
every year.
And next year, you're gonna have
even less money for this clinic.
So in terms of fund-raising,
I think I should
put you in touch
with some deep-pocket guys
in Woodside,
Pacific Heights,
internet do-gooder...
I want to run for governor.
Excuse me?
I want to run for governor.
Well, I guess that's one way
to solve your problem.
Okay, do you mind
if I ask you why?
For 9 years,
I have worked 12,
14 hours a day here,
seeing what's working
in our society
and, more importantly,
what isn't.
And I'm not
just a physician, I...
[knock at door]
- I'm really sorry.
- Yeah?
What do you want me
to tell Maria's mom?
Nothing from Children's?
Okay, we're gonna
have to road-trip it.
Get in their faces.
Guilt them into the transplant.
And ask the OR nurses
when Chris Anderson
gets out of his last surgery.
- Sure.
- Okay.
- Dim sum on the way back?
- Perfect, thanks.
[Sighs] Sorry.
My life.
Anyway, I'm not just
a physician.
I also do community organizing,
a job qualification
that didn't hurt our president.
And, uh, not
to sound too immodest,
but I think I can make
people's lives better.
Forgive me.
You're Dan's sister,
and I love him,
and you seem like
a very nice person yourself,
but I got to tell you,
and I think, as a doctor,
you'll understand
when I say this:
You need to have
your head examined.
I mean, seriously,
because this is insane.
Running a free clinic
with what the state gives me,
that's insane too.
Okay, um, all right.
We had something that came up,
so I don't have
a ton of time,
but let me just
walk you through this.
If you are ballsy enough
or crazy enough to do this,
I can promise you
an unending barrage
of innuendo, vitriol, and lies.
Everything will be
on the public record,
from the dope that you smoked
in the 11th grade
to the blow you did
with your girlfriends
during your college lesbian
experimentation period.
There's not one moment
of your past
that will not be scrutinized
in excruciating detail.
- Done?
- Not yet.
After that all comes out
and more,
the facts will be twisted,
stomped, and exaggerated
to the point that you will
no longer recognize them.
And if that doesn't do it,
new facts will be made up
so they can destroy you.
- Done?
- Not yet.
And then they'll say...
and I'll say it right now...
what the hell qualifications
do you have to be governor?
In my job, I work
with every sort of person,
a giant array of problems.
I run a team that daily
produces real, tangible results.
I see our problems up close,
and I think that I
can bring people together
to accomplish things...
good things.
- Good things?
- Yes.
Excuse me.
This isn't
a high school service club.
Okay, getting elected isn't
the Harvard-Yale debate society
where the best argument
carries the day.
These are steel-cage
death matches.
Even if you win,
which, with all due respect,
would be laughable,
they will hobble you.
They will shatter you.
The process itself
will change you in ways
that you cannot
even possibly imagine.
Is that what you want,
and is that what you want
for you, for your family?
Do you have a family?
I'm a single mom.
I have a six-year-old son.
- What about the kid's dad?
- Irrelevant.
Not if you're gonna do this.
Nothing will be irrelevant.
Despite this being
the bluest state in the country,
it still knocked down
gay marriage
and the legalization of pot.
Over half of the people
in the state
self-identify as born-agains
or regular church-goers,
not exactly the profile
of someone
who's gonna be voting for you.
This is a blood sport, okay?
I have worked for men
who were shot at in Vietnam,
and the campaign literally
broke them down to tears.
A man I loved...
who America loved,
with the Navy Cross
and two Purple Hearts,
sat crying
on my living room couch
because of what the press said
about him and his family.
You're too good a person
for this.
To win in politics,
you have got to be the person
who is willing to bring a gun
to a knife fight.
Is this your usual pep talk?
Well, that's good, I guess.
No, this one's
for friends and family.
Usually it's worse.
She wants to be governor.
Oh, man.
I liked her.
She was cool and sharp,
and it seemed
like she really wanted it.
Well, I want to play shortstop
for the Giants,
but it's not gonna happen
in this lifetime.
Jimmy, you want to start us off?
This is our friend
Tawny Shearson,
courtesy of YouTube
at her massage school
graduation picnic.
So she is an actual masseuse?
This is not a set-up?
and with six years' experience.
Oh, that sucks.
But with other experience too.
She had the misfortune
of being arrested twice
for prostitution.
The first time,
she pleaded guilty
and was sentenced to probation.
The other time,
charges were dropped.
Okay, so we're not dealing
with the Virgin Mary here.
And you, sir,
are a war hero
who served your country
in the freezing mountains
of Afghanistan
while she was selling her pussy
at the Beverly Hills hotel.
So if it becomes her word
against yours,
you should be okay.
That's the good news.
Okay, tell me the bad news.
She's a pro,
and you're on her massage table
in your boxers.
That's our bogey.
Do we know
what she's asking for?
- $2 million.
- Oh, forget that.
Jimmy, could you bring up
the next thing?
Okay, we just
threw this together,
probably a little early,
but we had to know.
You want to know why
you're up seven points?
This is why.
Soccer moms, 35 to 45.
These are your people.
No way would I believe him.
And if she had
a shady past
and was a known and proven liar?
I don't know.
Someone who looks like that?
He's still a guy.
Guys do what they're gonna do.
And how about
if someone told you
that he was in a state
of semiconsciousness
because of all the pain,
and that's why he didn't realize
how bad it might look,
him being in there with her?
If my husband
said something like that,
not only would I think
that he's a cheating jerk
but that he can't make up
a halfway decent lie.
Okay, they were my people.
And if I told you
that because of a war injury,
sometimes he takes
strong pain medication,
which makes him drowsy,
and that's why this happened?
Well, that's 10% better,
but 90% pure lame-o.
Come on.
They love you
when you're talking
about smaller class sizes
but not so much
when you're trying to explain
away a quickie with Tawny.
I am such an idiot.
You are anything but.
You got caught up
in some nasty shit.
We're gonna figure out a way
to get you out of it.
How's she gonna spill it?
She's got some kind of
in at Fox.
This asshole they brought in
to run KXSF, Roger Fillmore,
he's practically
smacking his lips on this one,
not to mention his riding-high
Tea Party pals.
This is their wet dream.
So what are they waiting for?
She's teed it up but hasn't
given the deliverables.
This is straight-up pay to play.
And even if we do pay,
Roger is still probably
gonna run with it.
Okay, look,
we're gonna figure out a way
to inoculate you against this,
and we're gonna dig up the shit
on this girl.
What do you think
is the best room service?
Carl Ludwig
at KCOP loves us.
Or Maggie Darcy?
I have two words for you:
Peaches O'Dell.
[Door bells jingle]
[Muzak playing]
- Hey.
- Hey.
Can I buy you another coffee?
No, thanks.
I got enough
to last me all night,
which, at the rate you're
dumping your garbage on me,
is where I'm gonna be again.
You did a great job
with that Tawny mug shot.
- She's a ho.
- She's a ho with a story.
Yeah, well, like all of us.
How much it cost you?
I did a little thing
for an Interpol guy
running a button cam video
on a dot-com gazillionaire.
- A thing?
- A thing.
You don't want to know.
Trust me.
And I got you a little present.
This wouldn't have
anything to do
with health-related issues,
would it?
Try everything.
Your buddy in Kentucky,
the ex-left fielder for
the Baltimore Orioles, no less...
Guess what?
He's mortal.
- I'm heartbroken.
- Yeah, me too.
Who would have thunk it?
Mr. "I used to play
in the big leagues
while you were a pussy
in the Peace Corps,"
arrogant prick fuck.
- And this is solid?
- Platinum.
Actually seen
or talked about?
What do you take me for?
As our friend the Gipper
always said,
"Doveryai, no proveryai."
Trust but verify.
Well, no pro... pro... prover...
Look at it.
You can kiss me
if you like.
Irregular heartbeat.
He's had it for years.
And one of the great truisms
of the game is,
when voters start to worry
about a candidate's health,
it is a gigantic
numbers suck.
Well, sure, Paul.
But I can't exactly
tell a local news honey
I just happened to sneak a peek
at Perkins' medical records.
Well, no, I mean,
not like that.
How, then?
It's all about how
you frame the narrative.
Look, this is a race
about leadership.
One guy is using his position
in the state senate
to conduct a completely
meritless witch hunt
against a man
who has served the public
his entire adult life,
a man who works
for the state of Kentucky 24/7.
I mean, look...
Look what time
we're talking now.
It's what?
It's 3:15 in the morning
your time.
What you do
is incredibly difficult.
It requires tremendous
strength and stamina.
Yeah, you're fucking
telling me.
Trying to get
my antiforeclosure thing
through this wing-nut
legislature is like
trying to run a Red Sox flag
up in Yankee Stadium.
How's it going?
Ah, you know,
2 steps forward, 11/2 back.
And not to sound
like some kind of ad
you guys do, but my mama
could've used
something like this.
And if these assholes
want a fight,
they're gonna get a fight.
And it's an incredibly
difficult fight, right?
I mean, look, all we're doing
is asking the voters
to compare the two candidates'
health records
and make an informed choice.
I mean, you're gonna release
everything you have, right?
I mean, and is there
anything in there
that I need
to be worried about?
- Really nothing?
- Trust me.
Despite decades
of avoiding the gym
like that's where
you get dengue fever,
I have, probably unfairly,
been dealt a pretty good hand.
I'm gonna have my guy
look it over anyway.
And then when we do release it,
every day, at every stop
through every news cycle,
we hammer him to release his.
What if he doesn't go for it?
Well, that's exactly
what we want.
More than anything else,
it's the refusal to release
that creates the story.
Campaigns always come down
to one thing above all else:
Who do you trust?
And by not releasing,
that causes people
to lose trust.
And once you've lost
the public trust,
you're a dead man walking.
Better him than me.
And that's just the beginning.
Then we get some credible
third parties down there
to just pound him,
ask him, "Has he ever
failed a steroids test?"
You think Roger Clemens
on steroids was a big story?
How about a guy
running for governor
on the juice?
And the nurses are with us
big-time, we get them out there,
picketing his fucking office
every week, and then we get
our blog buddies
to float a story
that he may be suffering
from some sort of STD,
and then we put the flyers on
the windshield at the churches,
and then we follow that up
with a killer push poll.
Well, that's nice, considering
he's got none of those things.
Well, maybe he has,
and maybe he hasn't.
We're just asking the questions.
Look, your guy loves to talk
about hitting
major-league pitching?
Well, politics is the NFL.
And we're gonna hit him
Let's say he does release them
and people feel sorry for him?
Then I just look like some kind
of a jerk for bringing it up.
You didn't know
what was in it!
You're as surprised
as anyone else.
He was an all-star
baseball player,
for Christ's sake.
Of course,
you feel for him,
and you'll keep him
in yours and Sophia's prayers,
but what
you're more interested in
is who is best qualified
to lead a state
that nobody could possibly
care about more than you.
Got it.
[Inhales deeply]
Crazy times, man.
Hey, is it true Stephen Green
got a hummer from a pro?
Where did you hear that?
I heard it.
Come on.
One of Green's guys
did the, uh...
the Webb race
with one of mine.
That makes my stuff
look like a walk in the park.
Was she hot?
I can neither confirm
nor deny the story.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Was she hot?
Allegedly, very.
Hey, Peaches!
You're coming to me?
- Always.
- Oh, come on.
When I'm looking my worst?
Your worst
is 1,000 times better
than most people's best.
Weren't you a Miss something?
- Nebraska?
- Arizona.
- Arizona.
- Miss Arizona.
Some of us had to get ahead
without the fancy schools.
Hey, while you were polishing
your tiara,
I was busting my ass
on construction sites
up in Minnesota.
Oh, please.
Didn't you go
to Harvard Law or something?
Sounds kind of silver-spoony
to me.
Try wooden spoon.
My dad was
a building trades union steward.
That's how I got
all my cushy jobs
lugging lumber
up four flights of stairs.
Well, you've got me
without the glam,
and as much as I do
enjoy seeing you,
I don't think you came
all the way across town
to check me out
in my sweaty gear.
- I have a story for you.
- Oh, stop it.
I hear that CNN
may be bringing you to D.C.
To try you out nationally?
Well, it could be.
Well, this could help.
Paul, whatever
you've got for me,
it cannot be as good
as what I'm getting
from Campbell's guys,
which, as I understand it,
involves a tasty treat
from a smokin' hot masseuse.
Well, Peaches,
of course we're gonna deny that.
We are talking about
a United States senator
and a Purple Heart winner
with a documented history
of a bad back
injured, I might add,
in service of his country.
Right, and John F. Kennedy
had a bad back,
but it didn't stop him
from fucking Marilyn Monroe.
- This is no Marilyn.
- No, Marilyn was a secret.
And not this baby.
She is hot,
and she is mine-oh-mine.
Okay, look.
Like everything else,
there's another side to this.
And I thought that you and I
might be able
to work something out.
Not friggin' likely.
I have a friend who tells me
that your newest anchor,
Connie Connor,
went to a bachelorette party
in Vegas a few years back.
Things got pretty wild.
Oh, yeah!
Okay, your friends are good.
These on the net?
Not yet.
Some room service?
Am I gonna love this?
- Do you love me?
- Deeply.
No, show me the spot first.
I used to be a Navy pilot.
On a mission in Afghanistan,
my helicopter was shot down.
Both of my legs and four ribs
were broken.
The enemy came
to finish us off.
The young officer
that I was transporting
single-handedly fought off
an entire squad of Taliban
until reinforcements
could arrive.
I didn't think
I'd make it through that night.
When the rescue choppers
finally came,
that same officer carried me
over 1/4 of a mile on his back.
By all accounts,
I should be dead.
But I'm not,
thanks to one man.
Stephen Green fought for me
with everything he had,
and now he's fighting
just as hard
for all
of California's families.
I was so very proud to serve
with Captain Johnny Duncan,
a true American hero.
I'm Stephen Green,
and I approve this message.
Some light reading?
it's for that new cruiser,
which costs more
than an aircraft carrier did
when I was coming up.
Well, somebody
will get rich on it.
Yeah, you know,
I got a feeling
it doesn't even do
what the Navy says
it's supposed to do.
But you try
to find real data on it,
then good luck.
Thank you.
You have a call to make.
Mandy Denton.
Sounds vaguely familiar.
She runs commercials
for Campbell.
Oh, God, those cloying, what,
"I believe how a guy
treats his family,"
those "Mr. Family Values
till you want to retch,"
those ads?
Yeah, that's her.
Good night.
You know what
they're doing, right?
The more they pound
family values,
they're just laying track
for you-know-who.
But it turns out that Mandy
not only makes the commercials
for Campbell.
She also makes his bed.
It's all one big happy family,
along with Roger Fillmore
down at KXSF.
But he's really just
a mouthpiece for Campbell
and his 90 million bucks
he's got earmarked to bury you.
Yeah, family values.
What's Roger actually got?
He's trying
to swiftboat you.
He's got all his guys meeting
with anybody and everybody
you ever served with.
Happy hunting.
What's Mandy's story?
She's good at what she does.
She's got two kids at home.
The husband's a dot-com guy.
I don't think he knows.
I want you
to blow that asshole up.
This Mandy thing, kill it.
She's a civilian.
What is it?
Talking points
for the governor on his budget.
And what do you know
about that?
Six weeks ago, not much.
Okay, but you can fake it.
Yeah, it's nothing.
My parents think
that I'm taking some time off
before applying to med school.
And remember,
you're not Samantha
but a guy named Sam.
Oh, thanks.
[Cell phone ringing]
You're welcome.
Don't be pissed.
- Oh, my God.
- Hey, Paul.
Hey, it's not too late
to call you, is it?
Uh, no.
- Do you remember the, uh...
- [whispers] Hi, Paul.
The football player
who was wanting to run
for mayor of San Diego?
Tony Blanchard.
Right, right.
Right, and doesn't he have
a book coming out?
First and Goal,
something like that.
Let's get him in here.
[Indistinct conversation]
Okay, so, uh, 89.
You want to push it?
Eight, nine.
Thank you.
[Rattles door]
You and me.
- Okay.
- You want pizza?
[Car engine idling]
You're gonna have to wait
just a second, honey.
Come on.
Hey, guys.
Petitions from people
who want me to run.
Did you have every junkie
in the Mission sign these?
Okay, yes.
But I also got architects,
other physicians,
waitresses, delivery guys,
teachers, painters.
Okay, look, I have no doubt
those people love you.
But you also need the farmers
in the Central Valley,
the soccer moms in Concord,
and the second-
and third-generation Latinos
in San Bernardino
to love you too,
not to mention the golf crowd
in Santa Barbara.
Hey, I was raised
in Santa Barbara.
My dad was a doctor there
for 35 years.
Okay, well, great,
but that's not gonna help you
and your druggie friends.
And then the other side of that,
your parents' friends
don't want to know
about the dirty needle crowd.
And here's the cold reality:
You have no name recognition.
So how the hell
are you gonna pay for this?
That's what the web's for.
There has to be a million people
willing to pay $10
for real change.
There's $10 million for you.
California has more
local media markets
than any state in the union.
It costs $2.5 million a week
for a statewide media buy.
$10 million?
Try multiplying that by five
just to get into the game.
Okay, then I'll get
4 million people.
That's only 10% of the state
to pay $10.
You got 40.
You know, I got to...
I got to believe
that one in ten people
will think
for the price
of two frappuccinos,
they'll finally get a governor
who will really change things.
Okay, I get it.
I'm sure you would be
a great governor.
But I'm in the business
of winning.
I thought you were
in the business of helping.
Helping people who can win.
[Phone rings]
- Great.
- Would you just...
Would you...
would you just help me?
Would you...
Would you think about it?
He loved the talking points.
I have thought about it.
I'm sorry.
Hey. No.
Come on, buddy.
We got to go.
For a girl born in Seoul,
she's sure got
that Kentucky thing down.
Thank you.
I think it's
gonna move the numbers a little.
Give me a break.
- What?
- Look.
I played professional baseball
for 15 years
and was fortunate enough
to make the American League
All-Star team six times.
And later, I shared
in the highest honor
in team sports:
Winning the World Series.
And after that amazing season,
I came home to serve
in our state senate,
where I stood up
for small businesses,
cutting your taxes
and cracking down
on bloated pensions
for overpaid
and underworked bureaucrats.
But the greatest honor
I could ever have
is going to bat
for all of Kentucky
as your governor.
I'm Justin Perkins,
and I approve this message.
Yeah, right?
Now, I don't have
an FBI badge,
but I know blackmail
when I see it.
As I'm sure
you can understand,
we see it rather differently.
My client has suffered
enormous emotional damage.
Imagine you're hired
to do a job,
you do it exceptionally well
for six years,
then suddenly,
out of the blue,
you're hit on
by a United States senator?
Senator Green has
a completely different
recollection of these events,
and with all due respect,
if it comes down to his word
against your client's,
I think we both know who wins.
You're a bit overconfident.
Do you have any idea
what faces your boss
if he doesn't settle this case?
A legal colonoscopy
without anesthesia.
Okay, I want to know
what you want.
What I want is a check...
Sweetheart, please.
Let me handle this.
What Miss Shearson wants
is three things:
$3 million.
- What your client wants...
- Wasn't it $2 million?
It was $2 million
until your boss
accused my client of extortion,
a million-dollar costly mistake.
Look, even if we were
to pay that outrageous amount,
what guarantee do we have
that we still wouldn't
hear this story
from Peaches O'Dell
or any of your other
media buddies?
Paul, I keep my promises.
How do you think I built
this law firm?
All right.
This is what I'm prepared
to offer you.
And I really want you
to think about it,
because this is as high
as it will ever get.
That's my offer.
Well, I guess we're gonna
be hearing a lot more
about a particular senator.
Now, Paul,
I want you to understand,
this is not a threat.
- It's just...
- You don't have much to go on.
On our side:
A sterling-silver reputation.
Your side:
Multiple prostitution arrests.
But we have something
that you don't have.
We have a lab report
from a forensic lab
in Mountain View.
It shows Tawny's shirt.
You want to guess what's on it?
I don't think I want to.
in a stain,
perfect match to your senator.
It seems as if your guy
is being screwed again.
Mr. Green, in the bedroom,
with his happy little gun.
Why did he do it?
Look, politicians
are politicians
because they have completely
interrelated strengths
and frailties.
They can be incredibly committed
to truly changing the world
and also be wildly
I'll take the first
and pass on the second.
It's not so easy
in the real world.
The qualities that make
a star politician...
the need for the spotlight,
the quest for power,
the ability to use people
and then discard them
when you're through with them...
is the exact same skill set
that enables an FDR
to create the New Deal,
saving the country
and having multiple affairs.
Or Eisenhower,
liberate a continent
and be carrying on an affair
with his aide the whole time.
Or President Clinton
presiding over
an unprecedented period
of peace and prosperity
and then banging
Monica Lewinsky.
To all our detriment.
But is this something
that we got to have
or something
we've just bought into?
You don't get
the outsized talent
without the outsized weakness.
And look, this isn't
a video game or a TV show.
This is the real thing.
People in power
truly impact our lives.
You know, do they screw up?
Are they perfect?
Stephen Green
could be president, right?
And he would be a great one.
Because of some
blackmailing hooker,
are we gonna throw away
all of the good that he's done,
all of the good
that he's gonna do?
Yeah, but still.
When it gets like this,
you just got to get
revved and ready
and say, "WWMD?"
What would Machiavelli do?
[Horses neighing]
This better work, man.
Look at it this way.
If it doesn't,
I've got you back on the road
to get in shape.
I'd rather be riding
down that road on my Harley.
- A lot more fun.
- What?
What, what?
You're looking
at the new me, sweetheart.
Don't sound so skeptical.
I used to be
in pretty good shape.
Hey, I still am
in reasonable shape, sort of.
Oh, come on.
What'd you bring 'em for?
Tony Blanchard.
So nice to meet you, sir.
The pleasure is all mine.
Tony Blanchard.
I used to watch you
all the time,
just in awe of your talent.
- Amazing.
- Thank you. Thank you.
I appreciate it, sir.
Thank you.
Thanks for coming.
Hey, I hear you're gonna be
the next mayor of San Diego.
Oh, trying.
Where did you think
I heard it from?
[All laugh]
- Governor!
- Tony, Tony, over here!
- Just one question!
- Just a few questions.
Governor, do you have
any comments on Justin Perkins
releasing his medical records
later today?
Just that it's long overdue.
We both...
We both owe it to the voters
to be completely up front
and open.
As you know, I released
my records over two weeks ago.
But I think if you want
to occupy this fine house, well,
the voters have a right
to know the state
of their governor's health.
Is having Tony Blanchard
with you today
related to the release?
Absolutely not.
This is one
of the finest athletes
this country has ever produced,
and when Tony offered to take
time out of his busy schedule
to come here,
I jumped at the chance.
Not every day you get whupped
by an all-pro.
[Reporters all speaking at once]
Tony, what do you think
of the governor
as a jogging partner?
I think...
and let me stress "think"...
that I could beat
your governor today.
But if I'm in
as half as good a shape
as Governor Becker is
when I hit his age,
I'll be one happy guy.
"His age."
Don't believe it.
Get off. Go. Go.
Go long.
You want to join us?
Not in these heels,
but have a good run, Governor.
[Reporters all speaking at once]
Okay, here we go.
Man, you are fast!
Not as fast as you and Tony.
Cheers to that.
For state senator
and gubernatorial candidate
Justin Perkins,
it was a major day indeed.
Perkins finally released
his medical records
this morning,
and as we've been reporting,
they showed
an irregular heartbeat.
All over the capital
and, in fact, the state,
this has been topic number one.
And earlier the Perkins campaign
made every effort
to diminish the damage,
including having
his personal physician
speak to reporters here
at Mercy Hospital.
Thank you.
Welcome to Mercy Hospital.
I'm Dr. Ryan Johnson.
I'm Senator Perkins'
and his attending physician.
Senator Perkins
has arrhythmia,
a condition commonly known
as an irregular heartbeat,
a condition shared
by millions of Americans.
He is a former
professional athlete,
as everybody in Kentucky knows.
He is in superb health.
There will be no
physical limitations for him
because of this condition.
But what about the reports
of steroids?
[All speaking at once]
Excuse me.
One at a time, please.
Why were his records
not released earlier?
I'll refer you
to the campaign on that.
Again, he's in superb condition.
His arrhythmia
will have no impact.
Any evidence of STDs?
That's an offensive question
that I won't be answering.
[All speaking at once]
At the same time,
our current governor
had a different take
on the day's events.
Let me begin by saying
that the issue
of a person's health
is far more important
than any political campaign.
But this is really
about the public trust.
If the public can't trust you
to be up front
about your own health,
then how can they trust you
with the health of our state?
Of course, Sophia and I
will have state Senator Perkins
in our hearts
and our prayers tonight,
when it comes to his overcoming
this very serious
health problem.
I think if you want to occupy
this fine house,
well, the voters have a right
to know the state
of their governor's health.
And later in the day,
Tony Blanchard spoke
to a packed-to-the-rafters crowd
at Leland Middle School
and then afterward
signed autographs.
And for those lucky kids
getting to meet our governor's
all-pro jogging partner,
it'll be a day they'll remember
their entire lives.
And we caught up
with Governor Becker
as he attended
a talk and book signing
for football superstar
Tony Blanchard
at the Pine Valley Mall.
Some rush there, Governor!
Well, I promised I'd come
hear Tony speak.
He's a good friend.
I'm running a little late.
You know, like everyone else
in America,
I cheered when he made that
unbelievable Super Bowl run,
and I'm cheering for him now
that he's setting
such a fine example
for Kentucky's children.
Thanks for your time,
It's a Picasso.
A Picasso.
The escalator was genius.
And you had the cameras
everywhere they needed to be.
Just a great job.
It's great.
It's a great job.
Thanks, sweetheart.
I owe you.
Well, that is it for jogging!
No, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Once a week every week
till the campaign ends.
Can't you just release
some photos or something?
Just one, 'cause you and I
are going
to the Seville Bar later.
- The wine bar?
- The wine bar.
Seems a little upscale
for you.
Really? Why?
What do you mean?
The girls
keep their clothes on,
- for one thing.
- Don't be so sure.
There's this waitress there
named Lara.
Oh, my God.
She's absolutely gorgeous.
Is she the new thing?
Well, actually,
she's more your type.
Why are we going
to the Seville?
Okay, Lara,
who is becoming very tight
with myself,
has agreed
to show some pictures.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Clothed?
- Kind of sort of.
Regarding bite marks
of a certain set of teeth
from a person of interest
regarding a certain fleshy part
of the body.
What are you still doing here?
You're here, boss.
Anyway I love this spot.
Love it?
Swiftboat the swiftboaters,
Want to see it?
It's still rough in my voice,
but we'll get Don in here
tomorrow if you like it.
Let's have a look.
[Patriotic music playing]
Imagine this:
You attend Annapolis.
You play football there
and did so well,
you had the chance
to go on
and play professionally.
But instead,
you turned down the NFL
and went to fight
for your country.
Your leadership was recognized
with the Navy Cross,
and then, years later,
someone begins knocking
on the doors
of those who served with you.
They came into my house
and started asking me questions
about Stephen Green
and all the bad things
he had done
when he was a lieutenant
in my unit.
Bad things?
There wasn't an officer
in all of Afghanistan
as respected as he was.
Yeah, they asked me
the same thing,
and every time
I said something good
about Stephen Green,
they wanted something bad.
This is the guy
who put his body
between us and the Taliban.
And what they're doing
is un-American.
So I asked them
to please leave my house.
Far too many of our friends
are buried here,
and it shocks me that instead
of honoring those
that fought and died
for this country,
Duff Campbell
is spending his money
looking for some kind of dirt
that doesn't even exist
on the finest officer
I had the honor to serve under:
Lieutenant Stephen Green.
- Fuck you, motherfucker!
- Oh!
That is a Rembrandt!
[Hardcore music playing]
Kerstin's still here?
Yeah, she's on the roof.
You gonna jump?
I should.
Is that Stephen Green stuff?
No, it's not that.
"I first aspired
to go to medical school
"when, as a small child,
I would accompany my uncle
"to his small pediatric clinic
in Seoul,
where he was a beloved figure."
What is this?
Well, that's my life,
the clich of my life.
It's what you do when you're
first-generation American
and your parents
run a fruit market
in the shadows of Berkeley.
They work, like, 15 hours a day,
just so that, one day,
you can go
to that very same college.
And become a surgeon.
Not just that.
I could be
an internationally renowned
concert pianist or a professor
in electrical engineering.
You ended up here.
I thought it was a good thing.
Well, I can't offer you
a lab coat, but...
the truth of it is, is that,
as fucked up as things are
and as bad as they may seem,
that most people really believe
that leaders
can make a difference.
If you're helping
great leaders get in,
aren't you doing a service?
I know, but...
It doesn't fit the narrative,
the clich that we work with
every day.
Like being the daughter
of outrageously hardworking
Korean immigrants,
who one day goes off
to Johns Hopkins Medical School.
You broke out of your clich.
I think that's a great thing.
On election night,
when your guy goes over the top,
the feeling
is un-fucking-believable.
It courses through your veins
like nothing else.
See, that's what I want to do.
I want to do what you do.
I want to make kings and queens,
but I can't do what you do.
You can.
And you'll be better than I am.
I can't.
Then you'll be a great doctor,
a Penelope-great doctor.
I'll write a letter
of recommendation for you.
I'll get the Vice President
of the United States
to write a letter
of recommendation for you.
I'm sorry,
but thank you.
That photo probably cost him
five grand.
- For you.
- You're kidding.
Not at all.
I go to meetings all the time.
All I get from them
is a headache.
Now at least
you'll have something good
to remember our little talk by.
Well, hopefully we'll be able
to provide a happy memory
of our talk.
We can all use them,
or more to the point, uh,
your man Stephen Green can.
Not happy times
for our junior senator,
huh, Paul?
Well, I don't know about that.
He's up nine points
in the latest field poll.
He's got 16 major
newspaper endorsements,
and more importantly, he's doing
great things for the state.
Spare me.
We're in a no-spin zone
here, Paul.
We both know that he's got
a giant bull's-eye
painted on his back,
and I have a huge fucking archer
standing right behind him.
But you haven't fired.
I wanted to see what you had
to offer first.
You're interested
in our story?
Of course.
We're fair.
We're balanced.
We're a news organization,
for Christ's sake, Paul.
- Come on.
- [Laughs]
Well, I'm not sure that I agree
with any of those claims.
Our story is
that there is no story.
- Zilch.
- Mm.
That's too bad.
Then I guess we'll be hearing
a lot more from Miss Shearson.
It's horrible,
what that poor girl experienced.
Something tells me
she's gonna be just fine.
I was hoping you would do me
a personal favor.
I'd like you to kill any stories
with her ridiculous claims.
You must be joking.
Not at all.
You see, I've recently
become aware of a waitress
at the Seville Wine Bar
named Lara.
She tells
a pretty incredible story.
I've never been there.
The story is, guy comes in,
is drinking.
He's interested.
He bites her ass in the bar.
Now, it's... it's...
That was my reaction as well.
So she tells her friend,
who also works there,
and it turns out the same guy
did the same thing to her too.
And there's more.
Apparently, the guy is so rich...
he was brought in to run
a television station
or something...
that both girls,
looking for opportunities,
as people are wont to do
in these tough economic times,
take pictures...
- Hmm.
- Of the bite marks
and what this guy did to them.
I thought you'd want to know.
I can have this story
up on Gawker
before I get back to my office.
Most of the major media outlets
will probably pick it up,
certainly The Chronicle,
maybe some other
television stations.
But I'm guessing
not here?
Probably not.
This has been great.
Paul, best.
Thanks for the mug.
- Hey, guys.
Both: Hey.
I'd like you to meet Angela.
Sorry, I was working all day.
- And Dimitris...
- What?
He spent, like,
half your company's budget
on me tonight.
Just a few drinks.
This girl can go toe-to-toe
with the best.
You look familiar.
Very good, Jimmy!
There's something
in between your ears
besides unlistenable punk.
Very nice.
Okay, now tell me from where.
And Paul's disqualified.
Oh, come on.
The Tawny video.
Orange bikini.
That's my girl.
It was red,
and it's my favorite.
Red, blue, yellow.
Who cares?
You looked
that fucking beautiful in it.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Okay, Dimitris says
that you are a proud graduate
of the Bay City School
of Massage Therapy?
She is the all-star graduate.
She... she won, like,
the what?
The President's Award
or the Iron Cross or something.
Hi, I'm sorry.
- Oh, my God.
- I'm sorry I'm late.
Oh, my God!
I watch you all the time!
You're Peaches O'Dell!
You're the best!
Thank you.
You are very sweet to say that.
Oh, wow!
All I ever wanted to be
when I was a little girl
was a TV reporter,
and you did it.
Look at you.
And you're like...
Wow, you're here,
like, right here
on the couch beside me!
Angela went to school
with Tawny.
What is she like?
- Mean.
- Oh.
Well, she's not always,
but when she drinks,
she gets that way.
Um, pretty, tell her what you
uh, told me about the Baja.
Oh, right.
We were out drinking and...
Well, something she did
a lot of.
Well, but to be honest,
kind of something
I did a lot of too.
And we'd had
this crazy happy hour
where we did
way too many tequila shots
at the Baja Cantina.
You know it?
In Venice?
- I don't.
- It's awesome!
So when we left, we passed
this rollerblading place,
and she picked up a pair
of knee pads,
and she said, "These guys,
"a ticket to Washington,
"and this body,
and I'm golden."
But how'd she end up
in Sacramento?
Oh, she had some thing
with, like, a politician dude
that she thought
was gonna go, like, a week,
but then he got elected
Speaker of the Assembly.
And when he moved
his whole family up there,
then he brought her up too.
I kind of didn't
think much about it.
I didn't think
it was that big of a deal.
- But then Dimitris...
- Yes, I did.
Found me,
and it all came back.
Dimitris found me.
Would you be willing
to tell this story on camera?
You want me?
Peaches O'Dell, you want to...
you want to interview me?
- Yep.
- Hell yeah!
Absolutely, I would, yes.
Thank you.
Thank you.
This is a story
that needs to be heard.
Just keeping the media happy.
- Fat and happy.
- Fat?
I don't think so.
Just be glad
you're not on camera.
Do you know what I think?
- Hmm?
- I think you're running a con.
I bring you
to the best sushi restaurant
in the town, and this is
the thanks I get?
Are you?
No hidden microphones
or secret cameras?
Want to pat me down?
- Absolutely.
- No.
I think we're surrounded
by the con.
"Tax breaks for the rich
will help the poor.
"Diet drinks will help you
lose 20 pounds,
"and you snag the man
of your dreams.
"Paul, please give us
the inside scoop,
and we promise we'll treat
your guy fairly in the story."
"The guy you elect today
will change
your world tomorrow."
You know, the first race
I ever ran
was for my dad's
childhood friend, Ron Gerace.
Great guy.
Just very little
formal education,
but smart and honest.
He was running for mayor
against a corrupt asshole
who had been in office forever
and was considered unbeatable.
I was, like, 20
and had no experience
but a lot of energy
and a lot of ideas.
But really,
I didn't know shit.
Like now.
- More so.
- [Laughs]
But what I did know was
that if I worked hard enough
and a miracle happened
and Ron got in,
that the world would somehow
be a better place.
Did he win?
He killed.
He was the best mayor
Minneapolis ever had.
So, as corny as it sounds,
if you believe,
it happens.
So what do you believe?
That if you get
the right guy elected,
you are so far into a place
that is beyond
running a campaign
or reporting the news.
You are making the news.
And that's what we dream of.
So do I believe?
I believe.
Conning me?
I am not.
It's the truth.
Straight up.
Swear to God.
Oh, yeah, right.
[Cell phone ringing and buzzing]
That'll be the day.
That... That is your god.
You believe in the god
of BlackBerry.
Please, it's only a tool.
Then don't answer it.
I dare you.
You love that thing
more than life itself.
Well, that would be crazy.
What are you...
What the fuck?
It's merely a tool.
- What?
- We did a sweeps piece on this.
I know it looks really weird,
but the rice
will bring it back to life.
It better.
Oh, you have some right there.
There you go.
[Music playing]
I'm not too much
of a vapid beauty queen?
I don't know.
I'm not too much
of an overeducated,
BlackBerry-addicted guy
running a con?
# Come bring me home #
# It's been a long time coming #
[cell phone ringing and buzzing]
- Hello.
- Paul, where the hell are you?
I've been emailing you
every two minutes!
You know, I had a long night.
I had meeting after meeting,
and then I just lost track
of time.
And then I had a BlackBerry
technical malfunction.
It works!
Did you send it to the iPhone?
I'll look at it there.
And we just learned tonight
that a local man claims
his girlfriend is having
an ongoing affair
with the governor.
And he claims he has her diary
to prove it.
Sounds like this is one
explosive story.
And what was
the governor's response?
Well, nothing yet, Dani.
And to be fair,
this just came in but our...
This is terrible.
We need to get down there.
What's the first flight
we can get?
Oh, God.
Fuck a duck.
No, honey.
You fucked an intern.
That's why we're all here.
Has anyone actually
seen the diary?
Hey, darlin'.
Do we even know
that the diary's real?
We don't,
and if it's electronic,
that would be a huge break.
Is she a nutter?
No. No.
She's solid.
I like her.
I mean, I...
You know what I mean.
Paul, as much as I want
to violently disagree
with every single thing,
every word,
every syllable
my alleged husband says,
that one thing is true.
She's the daughter
of one of our professors.
And you're not gonna
Kobe Bryant her,
turn her into some sort of
predatory slut.
Well, we're just
getting started here.
She may not be perfect
or even completely innocent.
I have no idea.
But you are not gonna trash her.
- Look, honey...
- No, honey.
You guys trash her,
and I won't be there
to do my stand-by-my-man thing,
and then you're really fucked.
So what do we do?
Sweetie, we have entered
a deep, dark, unspinnable place.
[Loud dance music playing]
[indistinct chatter]
It's nice to know no matter
how bad things get,
there's gonna be a naked girl
on a pole to cheer you right up.
Try many, many girls.
You object?
- Enjoying.
- That's my girl.
There's a gentleman
sitting across the way
in a football jersey.
That's the boyfriend.
His name is Junior,
believe it or not,
Junior Conway.
He's here all the time.
Don't get me wrong.
I could stay here all day.
But you got to do better
than that.
Patience, my friend.
He sells coke to everyone:
Girls, customers.
Shit, he probably even sells it
to the cops that come in.
Okay, what about her?
I did see her once.
And did Junior there
provide the refreshments?
Yes and no.
What do you mean?
One time we were all,
like, three girls from the club,
Junior and a couple
of his buddies...
we were at a frat party
in Lexington
doing a bunch
of Junior's blow,
and he kept telling her
to do it.
But she didn't want to do it?
Not really.
She kept saying no.
Junior wouldn't let it go.
He was buggin' on it,
and he kept saying
over and over,
"Are you 22 or 62?
Just go for it."
Did she do any?
She did a tiny bit
of the blow,
and then, five minutes later,
she went home alone.
I mean, if I had to guess,
that was probably the beginning
of the end.
I mean, they're just
so different.
Did you ever see her
do the drugs again?
I mean, I barely saw her
do it that once.
It's go time.
It's do or die,
but it's your call.
Sophia's gonna go batshit.
You should look at this.
They've made a major ad buy.
It's about to hit.
A guy at the station
slipped it to me.
Larry Becker wants us
to give him another term
as governor
so he can A: Continue
to use the governor's office
as his personal sex spa,
B: Use our tax dollars
to pay the state troopers
who guard him
when he's on the prowl,
or C: Convince you that a girl
just out of high school
really isn't
the first mistress of Kentucky
so he can have four more years
in office?
Is this really the kind of man
you would trust
with your daughter?
Or your state?
I'm Justin Perkins.
[Baseball bat cracks]
And I'll restore dignity back
to the governor's office.
I don't know
where to fucking start.
And by the way, since when is 22
just out of high school?
She could have been 32.
They'd have used the same line.
Know what's weird?
She's a good girl, really.
Well, the boyfriend's
asshole central.
Dimitris already got him
getting a 100k payday
and double that if you go down.
Oh, fuck me.
Six months ago, the only way
I could lose this thing
was to get caught in bed
with a dead girl or a live boy.
Now this.
So what's it gonna be?
Sonny or Michael?
Go nuclear.
- Bloggers.
- Yep.
- TV reporters.
- Yeah.
Talk show bloviaters
and newspapers.
- All of them.
- Newspapers.
City, community, college.
I want all of our big guys,
and I want every newbie
looking to break in.
Okay, they're set up.
Got it.
Take this on deep background.
Just follow the money.
It leads straight back
to Perkins.
Listen, I'm doing you this favor
so you don't get beat again.
You did all the legwork,
but you definitely did not
get this information from us.
Now, this story is yours
and yours only,
but remember, whatever you do,
don't source back to us.
And remember, this is embargoed
for a 7:00 a.m.
Online posting tomorrow.
Yeah, yeah,
but you're not giving this
to anyone else, right?
Because, let's face it.
My blog
drives the cable coverage.
All the insiders come
to us first.
No, absolutely.
You get the first pop.
This is gonna be more
than a pop.
When I heard about this story,
I had a blogasm.
Now you get multiple blogasms.
Perkins and his buddies
are rat-fucking Kentucky.
So we're talking about
the Sunday edition
above the fold, right?
So I hear that you two
are Kentucky's answer
to Woodward and Bernstein.
Never mind.
But I am Deep Throat.
[Loud dance music playing]
Hey, didn't you go to school
with that major anchor
in Lexington, Dani whatever?
I competed against her.
Well, that's close enough.
But if you slipped her
the information...
We're not exactly friends.
- But you can call her, right?
- Paul.
I don't understand
what's wrong.
Paul, shut up and fuck.
It had been nearly a week
since Governor Becker
last answered
reporters' questions.
But when he came out
of church this morning,
the governor was finally ready
to speak to the media.
Governor, would you like
to make a statement?
Yes, I would.
Uh, more than anything,
these charges are complete
and utter fiction.
John Grisham
could have written this
or, better still,
Stephen King,
'cause this has...
This has truly been
a horror story for my family.
And this alleged diary
the man claims to have
is just more fiction,
pure and simple.
And what about
Helena St. John,
the woman at the center
of all of these charges?
Well, Dani,
Ms. St. John returned
to her parents' home
near Boston,
where she was briefly seen
Helena, over here.
We have a question!
Helena, Helena!
[All speaking at once]
Why are you denying the affair?
Why did you do it, Helena?
Was all the sex consensual?
Has the governor
been in touch with you?
Can we get an interview?
Is the governor gonna
divorce his wife?
- Helena, are you in rehab now?
- Helena!
And Ms. St. John
also came up back home,
when we caught up
with the governor
heading for a performance
of the Good Shepherd
Youth Choir,
run by Lexington
police officers.
The lady in question
is a good girl,
who, like so many fine people
from good families,
fell into that terrible,
terrible abyss of drugs.
I wish her all the luck
in the world
in getting her life together,
and I know that with
the assistance of clergy,
she'll be just fine
and become clean and sober
once again.
That's good.
Here's the spot Jimmy just cut.
We're running it
at 2,000 points,
heavy rotation
for the next two weeks,
major cable buy.
Lifetime, Ellen,
just buying the shit
out of the mom demo.
Some things
are pretty darn expensive,
and it makes you wonder
where all that money comes from.
The cost of incarcerating
a cocaine dealer
in Kentucky for 15 months:
The cost of a brand-new pickup:
which was purchased
two days after claiming
he had a diary for sale.
The cost of cocaine rehab
for a month?
The cost of Wall Street banks
trying to ruin the reputation
of a man who has served
the commonwealth of Kentucky
his entire adult life:
Booyah, motherfucker!
I owe you, man!
But you better get your ass
out of Dodge.
Hey, next time you think
about running for office,
try France.
It's a better fit.
Well, merci beaucoup.
Taxi will be here in five.
- So you also have the...
- Paul.
You son of a bitch.
I can't fucking believe it.
When you graduated law school,
you know where I was, right?
You were two years behind me.
Right, in the same class
with your favorite pal.
I got to tell you,
I have taken a lot.
- I know you have.
- I'm not sure you do.
My father was an artist
who struggled his whole life
to support us,
and he told me if I worked hard,
got good grades,
and got into Harvard,
I could do whatever I wanted.
Guess what I did
when I got there.
Fell for one
Larry Lincoln Becker,
dragged me back
to this godforsaken place.
If you grew up
in Brooklyn, absolutely.
You know,
I've been a good sport.
I've done my
stand-by-your man thing
for a guy who will fuck anyone...
anything in a skirt.
Honestly, it must be
so confusing for him
when those Scottish bagpipers
come here to play.
But it was all
between me and him,
but now you go ahead
and you drag this girl
through the mud,
a girl with her whole life
ahead of her?
Is that what it's come to?
- Hey, she did the coke.
- Big deal.
Half of America has done a line
once in their lives.
And she wasn't raped.
She was a completely
willing participant.
- Hardly.
- She knew what the score was.
What the fuck, Paul?
Is it worth it?
Let me tell you
what I'm doing.
I am playing to win
so that your guy
gets another four years,
so that that asshole Perkins,
who is diametrically opposed
to every single issue
that you care about:
Foreclosures, minimum wage,
clean air
and who doesn't so much
as take a shit
without first
having it stamped and approved
by Wall Street banks
and the mega-mining
and health care industries,
doesn't get to sit
where Larry sits.
And doesn't it bother you,
the way you get there?
It's just you and me here, Paul.
[Breathing heavily]
Thought you'd never
make it home.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Is that more Kentucky stuff?
- No.
Penelope's petitions.
And they're not just petitions.
I mean, they are,
but there's also notes on them.
Oh, boy.
For example:
"Best doctor I ever had."
"Yes," followed by four
exclamation points.
"I wish I could sign ten times,
"because you are going to be
ten times better
than what we got."
And ten times as likely
to get slaughtered.
Why not Penelope?
You know why.
There's 101 reasons
why she can't win.
Yeah, I know.
And they're all
really good ones,
but I just feel like,
if she won,
this world would be
a better place.
[Chuckles quietly]
Not so?
I didn't know
you were in town.
Can I talk to you
for a minute?
Yeah, sure.
Look, I know that you're still
upset about Helena, but...
this is what happens.
Paul, Helena tried
to commit suicide.
She took a container
full of pills,
but her mother found her.
It happened over the weekend.
They're keeping it quiet.
It's not in the media
and won't be.
But her mother called
to tell me,
and I thought
you should know too.
I had no idea it would...
I didn't think
it would play like this.
This is what happens.
Professor St. John,
it's just Paul Turner
calling again.
Um, I know it's a hard time
for you and your family,
but if you could give me a call
at the number
that I left earlier,
that... that would be great.
Thank you.
Hello, Helena.
It's Paul Turner calling again.
Um, look, if you'd like me
to stop calling you,
just text me, and I will.
Okay, thanks.
[Doorbell rings]
Please, I just need five minutes
of your time.
Pl... five minutes,
and I will go home.
I promise.
I can't begin to tell you
how sorry I am.
We never should have done it.
I never should have done it.
But you did.
Why me?
I don't know.
No, I do know.
What we do
is like a military guy
in Virginia
piloting a drone
over Afghanistan
and launching a missile.
It seems like a video game
and there aren't
real people involved.
And you hit the fire button,
and you're thinking,
"How'd we do?
Did we hit it?"
And sometimes we hit the target,
and other times,
we destroy the building
with a red cross
painted on the top.
It's not right.
It's so not right.
For years,
after a bad day at school,
I'd jump on that trampoline.
And I'd feel better,
feel like I was free,
floating in space.
But at some point,
my mom would come out
and tell me that I couldn't
stay here all night.
The last thing that I wanted
was to come back to Earth.
And this is a big dose
of coming back down to Earth.
Giant dose.
And my dad teaches
power and politics.
I should've known.
Nobody really understands power.
I think that's why
we all abuse it so easily.
I'm sorry, but that's just
not good enough.
Actions have consequences.
And I think you do understand.
You know better than that.
Oh, yes, I do.
[Cell phone ringing and buzzing]
[Cell phone stops ringing]
[Cell phone ringing]
We have last month's
foreclosure stats,
and we're cutting the spot now.
Where's the big guy?
You got me.
What's he doing,
hiking the Appalachian Trail?
Yeah, something like that.
We're talking about the most
electronically connected dude
on the planet.
Where the hell is he?
I have no idea.
Hi, I'm so sorry
for calling you so many times,
and I know you're really busy
and I called you yesterday.
It's fine, really.
Um, you haven't heard
from him yet, have you?
I haven't, but if I do,
I'll call you or text you.
Are you okay?
Just a little worried.
Okay, well, I'll let you know
if I do.
Okay, bye.
I think you need a shot.
That's my line.
This is what
you're up against:
Trip Simmons:
Internet tycoon
who, after two grueling
months teaching,
is running as
a public school teacher,
albeit a public school teacher
willing to spend $45 million,
95% of which is his own money.
Serious stuff.
If you happen to get past him
in the primary,
and that is a gigantic "if,"
this is who you will face:
Hammering Hank Harrison,
beloved television star
and Tea Party hero,
who is running as the outsider
in this race
in spite of having $65 million
already in the bank
and off-the-charts
name recognition.
And what do we have?
I'm flattered.
But anything else?
Are you sure
you're up for this?
No more Appalachian Trail
You know, I actually was on
the Appalachian Trail in Maine.
Well, welcome home.
So Jimmy is gonna
be following you around 24/7.
He's gonna be filming you.
We'll cut together some spots
about who you are,
what you're about,
your commitment to service,
your dedication to this office,
that kind of thing.
And people are gonna want
to see this?
We can only hope.
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
In the words
of the great Hubert Humphrey,
"I am proud to be here today
to represent the people
who don't always have a voice,"
those in the dawn of life:
Our children,
those in the shadows of life:
Our poor,
and those in the dusk of life:
Our elderly.
I am proud to be here
on behalf of those
who work
to make California work,
the people who build our houses,
teach our children,
care for our sick,
put out the fires,
protect our streets,
cook our food,
pick our fruit,
drive the trucks,
and clean our offices.
I am here because we are all
in this together
when it comes to standing tall
and standing strong
to fight
for the California dream.
Field poll.
Where are we?
Still in the single digits.
Oh, there's still time.
While they will protect
Wall Street banks
and lower taxes
for corporations
and millionaires,
we will fight for jobs.
Can you do that again,
but really emphasize,
"we will fight for jobs"?
While they will protect
Wall Street banks
and lower taxes
for corporations
and millionaires,
we will fight for jobs.
And while they will complain
about what is wrong in America,
we will focus
on what is right in America.
Today, our party,
which has saved this nation
from depression, from fascism,
from racism,
from corruption,
is called upon to do it again,
this time to save the state
from confusion and division,
from the threat
of eventual fiscal disaster
and from those
who lack the courage and vision
to understand that we are all
in this together.
A little higher.
Yeah, up.
Now how is it?
What do you think?
I think it's gonna be
a knife fight in a phone booth.
Protein shakes.
Are you sure you're gay?
Then what the hell am I doing
with Peaches?
Is this a thing or a fling?
We need her.
We need her?
What if I told you
I was screwing
some hair product reporter
because we needed him?
What would you say?
Is he local or national?
You would not.
[Cell phone ringing]
[Man speaking indistinctly]
You got to get here now!
No, we'll be there...
We'll be there
in less than five.
We're in the Mission now.
We're on our way.
[Car engine starts]
You're gonna give them
to me now, huh?
You're gonna give me
my meds, huh?
'Cause I will cut
your fucking throat,
little girl.
Excuse me!
Excuse me!
Hey, hey!
You gonna give 'em to me now,
little girl, huh?
Put it down! Stop!
You too, Penelope?
You gonna fucking dis me too?
Fucking dis me too!
Hey, Tommy.
Tommy, Marisol is one
of the sweetest,
nicest people I have ever met.
She would never
intentionally disrespect you.
And you know that, right?
- It's not true.
- No, never.
We don't even have
the pills you want, Tommy.
Okay, Tommy.
Give me the knife, okay?
No, I need my meds.
I know.
Give me the knife.
Give me the knife, Tommy.
Give me the knife.
Give me the knife.
I can't.
Give me the knife.
I need my meds, Penelope!
My meds, Penelope.
[Siren wailing]
- Are you okay?
- Yeah.
We should get you inside.
Holy shit.
[Phones ringing]
[Indistinct chatter]
I'm glad you're okay.
- I'm fine.
- I'm glad.
- I'll be fine.
- Thank you.
I'm, um, so sorry.
Really, really, sorry, you know?
Don't be sorry.
No, we're just glad
that everyone's okay
and that Jimmy called us.
Yeah, I mean,
you were amazing out there.
- Yeah.
- Incredible.
No, no.
You see,
one of the biggest clichs
about this neighborhood.
Normally it's not
like this, really.
You're probably right.
If I can't even control
my own little space,
how can I control
an entire state?
[Reporters all speaking at once]
So this is what
you've wrought:
Facebook likes,
1.2 million and counting.
Number of YouTube views
of you taking the knife away
from the crazy person:
And counting.
And watch this.
She's awesome.
She's really inspiring.
That lady is definitely
walking the walk.
Okay, you cannot
take that bandage off
until the election.
It's been almost two weeks.
I think it's time.
No, no, no.
You've got to give me
at least another month.
- I'll give you a week.
- Sold.
- What the fuck?
- What?
Check it out.
Helping the homeless
is nothing new
for San Francisco.
We have a long history of it
in our city.
But what is new is a program
one of the volunteers here
has started.
[Child exhales]
[All sigh]
Breathe in.
Tawny Shearson
is no ordinary volunteer.
She has started
a special program
for San Francisco's
homeless children.
Well, the idea is,
why should only rich children
get all the amazing benefits
of yoga?
These kids love it!
They can't get enough of it.
And honestly, I can't get enough
teaching them.
Tawny Shearson, a woman
truly making a difference
for those who need it most.
Rick Sanchez, KXSF News,
at Saint Mary's Church
in the Tenderloin.
Okay, so when she's not
blackmailing us,
she's running for saint?
Those guys are good.
Mandy Denton behind this?
And we violated the number one
commandment in politics.
We had her down,
and we did not put in the shiv.
All right,
when you think of family,
what are the first things
you think of?
Love, protection, warmth.
Security, fun.
Caring, a bond, support.
Strength as a unit, shelter.
That's good.
When we get back...
Penelope Nelson
runs this clinic,
the same Penelope Nelson
who claims she's qualified
to be your governor.
What she doesn't tell you is,
28% of those who come here are
not Americans
but illegal aliens.
And it's all funded by you.
You pay far too much
in taxes already
so that Penelope
can spend your money
on illegals?
You work hard.
You play by the rules.
Why doesn't she?
Hank Harrison.
Let's make California
great again.
I'm Hank Harrison,
and with your help,
we can take back
our government.
[Cell phone ringing]
That's good.
Now it's really incoming.
Tawny's lawyer.
Erik the Red
has scheduled a press conference
with Tawny tomorrow at 6:00.
He'll call it off
if we deliver him $2 million
tomorrow at 4:00.
- Down $1 million.
- It's still blackmail.
- And the answer is still...
- No fucking way!
Good, good.
Good. Okay.
All right.
First, Tawny has a story,
but so does Peaches
and her new BFF, Angela.
How is that going?
- All set.
- Good.
And second,
starting on the 5:00 news,
we're launching a saturation buy
of the downed helicopter spot
with your war buddy.
Three, we are making your name
and the word "family"
Think Stephen Green,
think family.
Take all the things
that family means,
and go from there,
like love, warmth, strength,
protection, support, caring.
And with each one of those,
we do a photo and message
of the day.
Like what?
Well, let's start
with the last one
on the list: Caring.
As in caring
for your children's future.
We've worked something up
around your affordable
college program,
which I love, incidentally.
We'll send you to a school
or something.
Fourth: Editorials.
Tawny's gonna cry to
every reporter with a laptop
that you're a bad guy.
We get editorials saying
that the last thing
anybody needs in this economy
is more lipstick
and pig stories.
Everybody should be focusing
on real issues
that affect real Americans.
Okay, okay, how about this:
We suggest, gently, but serve it
on a silver platter,
that Tawny
is a complete distraction
from real issues.
And let them hark back
to when Mark Twain
was a reporter here
and that he could see through
all the smoke and nonsense,
like this smoke and nonsense.
Mark Twain.
They love Mark Twain.
I love quoting Mark Twain.
Well, she actually uses
zero fossil fuels
and thus has zero emissions.
She can go at highway speeds,
and what's more,
she was built entirely
by the class you see here.
Thank you all for coming.
- This is Tawny Shearson.
- Hello.
She's gonna tell you
quite a story
about a woman wronged
by a United States senator.
Senator, last month we went
to the California
Solar Challenge.
And of the five finalists,
we were the only
public school there,
but we won.
And what we're showing here
is that what it takes
to achieve in science
isn't all about money.
It's about inventiveness
and creativity and brain power,
all of which this class has
in abundance.
Well, this is amazing.
This is truly amazing.
And I think I speak for myself,
but I also think I speak
for every senator
when I say that we can learn
a lot from Mr. Quinn's class.
It's truly amazing!
Give yourselves
a round of applause.
Thank you so much for coming.
[All speaking at once]
Senator Green, one question.
Senator Green.
Senator Green.
Are you aware
of the press conference.
Tawny Shearson just gave?
She's claiming
you had an affair.
I was just thinking
about something
that Mark Twain once said,
which is, "When in doubt,
tell the truth."
Well, here's the truth.
I have a bad back.
I injured it in the service
in Afghanistan.
And I receive physical therapy
for that injury,
including massages.
And during one
of those massages,
I crossed the line.
And, uh, here's some more truth.
There is... there's no one
to blame for this but me.
There is no excuse
for what I did.
It was wrong.
It was...
It was wrong to do to my family.
It was wrong to do
to the people
that I set an example for.
It was just plain wrong, period.
Now, I could stand up here,
and I could spin the facts,
and I could maybe fool
some of you,
but I believe that the people
of California deserve better.
I think that we are all tired
of the spin.
So, I am just here to offer
my sincere apology.
And it is my hope
that the citizens of California
will forgive me
for this mistake
and will choose to reelect me.
I promise I will be
your senator,
and I will work tirelessly
for the things
that matter most to you,
like classes taught
by Matt Quinn here,
where our children
are truly inventing the future.
And to that end,
I am proposing
a oil company
windfall profit tax
with the revenue
providing the funds
for every student in America
with a B-plus average and above
to go to college.
I'm prepared
to do everything for you,
as a not-perfect
but a truly dedicated man
who will always fight for you.
[Epic percussive music]
Mission in Afghanistan
my helicopter was shot down.
Both of my legs
and four ribs were broken.
The enemy came to finish us off,
but the young officer
that I was transporting
single-handedly fought off
an entire squad of Taliban
until reinforcements
could arrive.
Up, up, up!
Senator, you have jumped
five points!
It is off the charts!
On the other hand,
Tawny is going to kick ass
if she ever decides to open
a chain of massage parlors.
Oh, sweet.
Tell him to check his email.
Jimmy just
sent us all a present.
Check your email.
We got something
coming your way.
And then Tawny went up
to the rollerblade guy
and took two knee pads,
and she said,
"These guys,
a ticket to Washington,
and this body,
and I'm golden. "
How did that make you feel?
Now, that is room service.
Oh, my God.
Penelope's video just got
5 million views on YouTube.
You see, when you're doing
God's work
and you're at the right place
at the right time,
good things happen.
Best 100 bucks you ever spent.
What do you mean?
What do you mean
what do I mean?
What are you talking about?
Does somebody want to tell me
what's going on?
- It's okay.
- Oh, my God.
I just assumed
that she told you.
Your girl here had me
send the guy to the clinic.
You did what?
Okay, in her defense,
I gave the guy 100 bucks.
I told him to scream,
wave the knife around a little.
In no way...
I did not think that he was
gonna take a hostage.
I didn't think
that was gonna happen.
You gave a junkie a knife?
Yeah, well, in retrospect...
Meg Whitman spent
$175 million-plus
running for governor.
We spent $100
and took Penelope's
name recognition
from nonexistent to omnipresent.
Am I fired?
You are a brilliant,
beautiful woman.
What happened to the guy?
He's doing 90 days.
I'll give him another $500
when he gets out.
He'll send me flowers
for such a nice payday.
Okay, I'll give him $1,000.
As we've been reporting,
Stephen Green
had an easy reelection tonight,
but the real story
is right here,
in a gubernatorial race
that's too tight to call
between upstart candidate
Penelope Nelson
and Hollywood megastar
Hank Harrison.
We have really done
something incredible.
No matter what happens tonight,
we have done
something incredible.
[Cheers and applause]
It was a very steep hill
to climb indeed.
Ms. Nelson is going to need
a huge turnout
in Los Angeles
and the Bay Area
if she has any hope of eating
into Mr. Harrison's margins.
Again, very discouraging news
for Ms. Nelson's campaign
and her supporters.
Hank Harrison,
one of the country's
most popular television
and movie stars,
has been in the public eye
for over three decades.
And with 76%
of precincts reporting,
if he can maintain that lead,
he'll be our next governor.
We have just learned
that Santa Barbara,
San Joaquin,
and Sacramento Counties,
all bellwether counties,
have reported,
and all three
have gone narrowly
for Hank Harrison.
This is a devastating blow
to Ms. Nelson's campaign.
Sacramento must also
be particularly disappointing
for her, as, traditionally...
- You okay?
- Yeah, I'm okay.
As goes Sacramento County,
so goes California.
And we're still waiting
for results
from Los Angeles County
and the Bay Area to come...
We just got word.
Los Angeles County
has reported,
and Penelope Nelson
is over the top.
My God!
[Cheers and applause]
What an incredible victory
for Penelope Nelson.
Penelope Nelson,
who ran her campaign
on passion and promise
but so very little money,
will be the next governor
of California.
[Cheers and applause]
Thank you!
Thank you!
Thank you, California!
Thank you!
[Cheers and applause]
And at the governor's mansion
earlier, this was the scene.
What a feeling!
[Cheers and applause]
There she is.
Oh, thank you,
thank you, thank you.
And you.
I think it's, "Wow, Governor."
Wow, Governor!
I got a lot of work to do.
So do both of you.
Well, I'm losing her.
I'm losing her
to medical school.
This is her swan song.
I'm gonna withdraw my apps.
Well, I got to get reelected
in four years,
and I can't get stabbed twice,
you know.
Oh, we'll think of something.
# Mine eyes
have seen the glory #
# Of the coming of the Lord #
# He's trampling out
the vintage #
# Where the grapes
of wrath are stored #
# He hath loosed
the fateful lightning #
# Of his terrible, swift sword #
# His truth is marching on #
# Glory, glory, hallelujah #
# Glory, glory, hallelujah #
# Glory, glory, hallelujah #
# His truth is marching on #
# Glory, glory, hallelujah #
# Glory, glory, hallelujah #
# Glory, glory, hallelujah #
# His truth is marching on #
# I've read a fiery gospel #
# Written burnished
rows of steel #
# "As ye deal
with my contemners #
# So with you,
my grace shall deal" #
# Let the hero born of woman #
# Crush the serpent
with his heel #
# Since God is marching on #
# He has sounded forth
the trumpet #
# That shall never
call retreat #
# He is sifting out
the hearts of men #
# Before his judgment seat #
# Be swift, my soul,
to answer him #
# Be jubilant, my feet #
# His truth is marching on #
# Glory, glory, hallelujah #
# Glory, glory, hallelujah #
# Glory, glory, hallelujah #
# His truth is marching on #
# Glory, glory, hallelujah #
# Glory, glory, hallelujah #
# Glory, glory, hallelujah #
# His truth is marching on #
# In the beauty of the lilies #
# Christ was born
across the sea #
# With a glory in his bosom #
# That transfigures
you and me #
# As he died to make men holy #
# Let us die
to make men free #
# While God is marching on #
# Glory, glory, hallelujah #
# Glory, glory, hallelujah #
# Glory, glory, hallelujah #
# His truth is marching on #
# Glory, glory, hallelujah #
# Glory, glory, hallelujah #
# Glory, glory, hallelujah #
# His truth is marching on #
# Marching on #
# Marching on #
# The truth is marching on #
# The truth is marching on #