Kong Curling (2011) Movie Script
1
In curling everything is about
being able to predict the millimeters.
You have to be able to predict on the
millimeter the speed of the stone -
- to land exactly
on the deciding millimeter.
Truls Paulsen
was the champion of millimeters.
Truls knew exactly how much
he had to brush the stone, -
- for it to be smooth enough
in relation to the ice.
Truls, it is smooth now.
Yes!
He didn't release the stone!
He didn't release it before the line!
For Truls Paulsen a victory
wasn't good enough on its own, -
- if the stone wasn't precisely on
the millimeter where he'd planned it.
You see, Truls!
Details! Details, Truls!
For Truls these details
was more important than for others.
In the 90s the country's top curling-team
was called Team Paulsen.
And consisted of,
skip Truls Paulsen himself, -
- the number one Marcus Blume.
Marcus was the team's Casanova,
with his own philosophy -
- that there wasn't a woman
not worth going for.
You're fuck-ing-ly beautiful!
Flemming Haug was the number two on
Team Paulsen and an eager outdoorsman.
Flemming was currently
very engaged in birding.
You can lie all night,
and the adrenalin is pumping, -
- And suddenly they are here!
Maximum ten seconds before they disappear.
- Isn't it a really short amount of time?
- It's very short!
That's what makes it
so incredibly intense!
Espen Williamsen was vice skip
on Team Paulsen.
He was at times
very negatively oriented.
Very ok cabaret.
Good.
I think it looks fucking shitty.
Sigrid had always been
the popular girl in the scene.
She was now the girlfriend of the
country's reigning champion.
My friend's boyfriend
plays in Dance With A Stranger.
In the beginning
there was so much interest from other women.
So she let him date them.
So he knew what he had at home.
Do you know what I mean?
You've told that story before.
- He was allowed to date others.
- Yes, that's what you just told me!
- And then you continue telling me?
- Yeah, did you understand it, then?
That he got to fuck other women?
Yes!
Truls Paulsen biggest challenger
was Stefan Ravndal.
Gordon was the team's coach and
Truls' soulmate since the 70s.
Truls' parents was preoccupied.
So it was natural that Gordon took
care of the contact-seeking boy.
He taught Truls about not
leaving anything to chance.
There's no point in having the zipper all the
way up if it can't be drawn all the way up.
Then I'll buy another jacket
that does not have a zipper.
A robe, for example!
No, all the way up.
Truls realized early that sloppiness
does not belong in curling.
He became more and more focused on
everything being in balance.
The zipper!
It's got to go all the way up!
For the boss of Team Paulsen the
millimeters was the most important in life.
The brushing was not good enough
on the last one.
It curled too soon.
It should go in between.
We won! Or did the details
become more important than winning?
Espen was right in his suspicions.
Brush!
It turned out that the
exaggerated focus on millimeters -
- Had developed to become
fatal compulsion neuroses.
It is rough! The ice is ...!
It's rough ice!
It's rough!
Look! Come and feel!
Rough ice!
It is rough!
Come! The ice is rough!
Come here, then!
Look!
Rough ice!
It's rough!
Truls was found
a few days later -
- unable to
to account for himself
And in the process of sending a signal
to higher powers.
And later entered
at a home for mentally ill -
- Where he was put
on strong medication.
Are you ready for this, Truls?
Ready?
Yes.
Are you ready to be discharged?
Yes...
Yes, I am ready.
That's good.
Very good.
Then I decide
that we create a guardian for you -
- until we are completely sure.
Guardian?
What does that mean in practice?
It means in fact that you are
deprived control over your own life -
- until we see that you are healthy.
Together we will find a person
which can be fit for the task.
Do you have any suggestions?
Gordon.
Gordon? We can't have anyone associated
with that competitive environment.
Can I just ask you something?
Would it have been possible
I could have been...
A guardian?
What do you say to that, Truls?
Then it will be you.
Get up!
Pelle needs to urinate.
Look at him!
Can you sit on the chair?
You are so clever.
Learned to sit on the chair!
Drink water, then.
And swallow.
And swallow.
Let me see.
At 2 you're going to therapy. And don't
talk with anyone from the old scene.
Therapy at 2. Don't talk
with anyone of the old scene. Ok.
And then Pelle.
No...
Come on.
We can't discuss this every time.
Give him a kiss.
It's perfectly normal.
There you go.
He notices when you don't mean it.
Come on.
- Like this?
- There you go.
Ok.
Hello!
Hello, Truls.
These needs to be sorted, punched
and put into the new housing directories.
Sort, punch, put.
200 pieces.
You're doing an excellent job!
- Great atmosphere!
- Great atmosphere.
"You're doing a great job, Truls.
You know it. Keep it up."
"Great atmosphere."
And then thumbs up.
And how are you, Harald?
With me? Well, now I
long walks in the woods every day -
- Along with my better half...
Well, my wife.
It's very nice.
And I really would like to force my
meat whistle up your letterbox!
Breathe normally.
Just breathe very normally.
Can you talk a little more about that
pleasant trip. Did you fed the ducks?
What medications are you on?
Sobril?
Doprene?
Stesolid?
Everything.
Everything.
And then some... more.
And you?
Nothing.
- Nothing?
- Nothing!
I just pretend.
It's so much better. Just like Harald.
My big dick rises...
- Breathe.
- Harald's not on medication?
No, he just pretends.
The medicine makes him unhappy.
The popular series "Where no
would believe that someone could live ".
You know there's starting
a diet program on TV3 now?
Now? But we were going to watch "Where no
would believe that someone could live ".
I just thought it would be good
with a little variety.
They are in a new place every episode.
I wonder where they are this time.
I heard they were going to visit twins
who lives in a very cumbersome place.
If you waiting three minutes,
you'll see it. It will start soon.
It's just a bit funny trying to
predict where it is.
It's certainly in Western Norway.
It's very cumbersome.
Just wait three minutes, and then
it'll start. No point in guessing.
- Smla!
- Can't you just stop guessing?
It starts now!
We're going to visit a place one really
would not believe that someone could live.
Two hours by bus from Hammerfest
alongside majestic mountains -
- is a little godforsaken
peninsula called...
Here Hkon vers has lived
since he was a small boy.
Fuck!
He has settled on a spot where no one
would believe that someone could live.
It's Espen!
He's outside.
- Oh, it's you?
- I need to talk to Truls.
Haven't you been told
not to come here?
It's a little different now. I need to talk
with Truls about something serious.
- Is that you, Truls?
- There's no need for screaming!
Gordon is in the hospital
with a lung collapse.
They say max 2-3 months
if he can't find a donor!
Donor? are you screaming
"donor" on my stairs?
What will the neighbors say?
Donor? Now you have to shut up!
That's disgusting.
Everything is okay, Truls.
I will get it!
You know I don't inhale?
No no!
I inhale, stop the throat,
it's standing still and exhale again.
Just like not smoking.
Here are 295 prospects on Ulvesvingen.
But I need 5 pieces,
so I must go to the storage.
Gordon?
How are you doing?
Do you know how he's doing?
He's going to die if he doesn't get a
lung donor, just like me.
And I'm in front of him in the queue.
Which means that I get the lung
first, if there even is any.
Would you get me a sip of water?
Yeah.
If you try
to sneak him in front of me -
- I will rip off your balls.
You get me?
Thank you.
Now I will drink water.
You have to wake up!
Pelle has diarrhea.
Kiss Pelle.
Great atmosphere!
My dick is going to carve
its way into -
- the second floor of your moss
infested old cunt museum!
I said that the bord should not be in the middle
of the tablecloth. That's the point with bord.
But she would not hear of it.
I said, "Try a test patch."
But she wouldn't, because then she
would feel that she is bad at sewing.
I said, "Test patch is to test sew."
But she wouldn't.
It's not called a bord in the middle.
The pattern is in the middle.
I said, "You get to do it your way,
but it's going to look ridiculous..."
You know...
I just saw Truls race past me?
Truls, yes.
The madman.
- Hi.
- Hi.
I didn't hear you.
- I have learned to walk silently.
- Oh?
Get real!
These pill dumb you down.
You know Gordon is dying
at the hospital?
Yes, I've been to see him.
We must save Gordon!
I've heard of this
privately funded operation in the US.
To half a million. Do you have a
half a million in your pocket?
Earned a little extra
working in the evenings?
Fucking hell!
Do you remember this?
40th anniversary of Gordon.
Me and you and your father.
Truls Paulsen
is back on the track again!
Nice to see you again, Truls.
It was unexpected.
Thought you'd retired from curling. Are
you getting the team back together?
No, Gordon's sick, so...
Sick, yes. that's right.
I heard.
Lung problems as well, right?
It really hurts.
It's the worst kind.
Really long donor queues and...
Absolutely impossible, they say.
It's going only one way, then.
It does you know?
It's only...
You were really attached to him,
weren't you?
Attached?
And so were you?
But you were perhaps the most attached?
Well, you get linked.
Fond of each other.
He was a father-figure,
wasn't he? Wasn't it like that?
- Let's go.
- Truls, what are you doing here?
Truls, you should not be here.
It's the only place
you should not be.
The first program in a new
season of the popular series -
- "Where no one would believe
that someone could live ".
You can blame yourself.
The agreement was: no contact
the old environment. And then you do!
But if you're smart -
- you'll learn from this.
You don't sulk but you learn.
Daddy is worse than you
on the the dressage course.
You learn faster.
Today we are going to visit a fellow -
- who lives in a place where no one ever
would believe that someone could live.
This place lies deep inside the fjords, -
- far away from anything reminiscent
of a city or other civilization.
It's called...
- Championship.
- What are you doing?
Over the niche sport curling.
One of the sport's most ardent fans,
Arild Brekke -
- Recently won
one million kroner in the lottery.
To create publicity
about his favorite sport -
- He has decided
to donate the money prize -
- to the team that wins this year's
Norwegian Championship..
Curling is a niche sport.
Why spend so much money on
something so few are interested in?
How many times have I said -
- I'm not going to answer
questions with the word "niche" in it?
Now I repeat words
I will not hear today:
Niche, narrow,
special interests, marginally...
- Arild is giving away all his money.
- Go to your room!
- It is your job to create publicity!
- Do not watch the TV.
This fantastic final in
the "inventors"!
Candidate no. 1 is a lady
who has invented a tramway -
- That it's impossible
to get your bicycle wheel stuck in.
Candidate no. 2:
Twin brothers from Mjndalen who
has invented a soap dispenser -
- that you can attach the arm
while showering!
We're going live to
our man in the shower.
As we see it's straightforward to squeeze
out a suitable dose of soap...
The direction of the device
was certainly a bit misplaced.
Then we get ready to see -
- How Lisas tramway
makes it through the product test.
She gets ready,
approaching the critical point...
I'm leaving now.
And then -
- I want a divorce.
The journalist is biased. He wants
the tram shit to win.
He's like: "Oh, what a shame
the dispenser squirted the wrong way!"
But you can see on his face
he hates the dispenser thing.
What did you say?
I want a divorce.
And I'm leaving.
I'm going to save Gordon.
He says he's should be separated. wants a
divorce. And looks like he's packed sensibly:
Coat and lamp
and Scrabble and... puff?
Loony express is coming!
Now you have to watch out!
Can confirm coat,
lamp, Scrabble and puff.
Do you think he has met someone and is going
to have kinky sex with Scrabble and puff?
Espen?
- Espen?
- Yes, hi.
- Did you run away?
- Huh?
- Did you run away?
- Yes.
As if I am ten years old?
What do you call that?
Lamp, Scrabble and puff?
I have very good news.
Arild Brekke has won a lot of money.
He has set up a half million
in prize to whoever wins NM.
We must gather the gang and win NM
in curling and save Gordon.
The medicines have made you
become a complete vegetable.
We're never going to make it.
You can just forget it. Sorry.
Turn it off.
Fuck!
Turn it on again.
Throw them out, for fucks sake!
For fucks sake!
- Are you here?
- Yes!
- Why you screaming so bad?
- These fucking pillows!
Is it not possible to find one pillow
who has the right angle for your neck?
Why should it be
so damn difficult?
It is the height that is the problem?
Sure it's the height!
The high is too soft -
- And the low is too hard
and this dun-thing is too shitty!
Look at this thing!
I might as well have just used
the cover! Ridiculous!
Fuck!
I'll go and collect the guys tomorrow.
Then we'll begin to practice a little.
This thing is a tablecloth!
I am extremely attracted to you.
It's just that simple.
And I shouldn't be.
It would be indecent and unethical.
Simply unethical.
Fiercely attracted.
And I can't be in my profession.
Can't be attracted to the patient.
I'm attracted to you, girl.
Most importantly,
when you are out and chasing ladies:
You must never look them in the eyes
when you want them.
You get it?
If you do...
Then...
The point is...
I'm a little more focused on saving Gordon.
Because they will stalk you,
and you dont want that.
When you are single
you must always work from behind.
Right?
You may well start over.
Driving on the side and playing around.
But you must always
end the job from behind.
Ok?
You get it?
Well, how are you doing?
Yeah I'm fine.
Quit with medicine and stuff.
I am like the old days, now.
This is where it is.
Flemming?
Shut up!
We are waiting for a snipe
that can come anytime!
Snipe?
A bird.
A bird!
- We're looking for Flemming. Is he here?
- Shut up!
Approximately every three years it is
possible to spot a snipe here.
If you see it,
you're going to be totally hooked.
The plan is to train a bit so we can get
the championship title and save Gordon.
Truls has quit his medication.
What do you say?
I've got my new hobby now.
This is sort of full time.
Watching birds?
Stop fucking around!
I kinda have
committed myself to this.
I can not decide right now.
The bird might be here.
- Pay attention now, boys.
- Oh my god, I think I see it!
Marcus stop!
Damn!
Damn!
Did anyone see it?
You are out of the bird club for good,
Flemming.
Sitting in a cage for 10 hours
and watching birds.
Watching birds!
Help me!
Destroy him!
Fuck, Truls. I thought
you were in balance now.
Heard anything from Espen?
How's it going with him?
I am worried about Espen. He says
that he has not slept in 2-3 months.
He blames the shitty pillows from Jysk,
but it has nothing to do with Jysk.
It has nothing to do with Jysk.
It's about his father.
- His father?
- Look here.
Postcards from his father 20 years ago.
Lay hidden behind a bookcase.
And I found it here.
Wow! His father is an
Rod Stewart impersonator?
We need Espen in NM. He just needs to
talk with his father. Right?
Hey, it's Truls!
Hello.
It's good that you're teaming up.
It's impressive.
- It kicks off on Saturday.
- Yes.
Are you looking forward to it, Truls?
Yes, it is going to be
fun to play again.
- Now we mostly doing this for Gordon.
- Gordon?
Gordon.
Lyn Gordon.
Lyn Gordon.
Gordis...
You? The zipper, then?
It should not be that far down?
That's not like you. Like that.
Even higher, perhaps?
It should be up, should it not?
All the way up?
Like this?
Here.
Where it should be. Or?
Yes?
What?
Or don't you care about
that stuff anymore?
Don't you?
Wow. Good!
See you on the field.
I'll see you.
In sport of curling
it's all about millimeters.
You must have a sensory apparatus
which is 100% tuned -
- So you are able to
deal with the nuances of the game.
And you must have a team with players
which is 100% ready for the task.
Brush!
Brush!
Oh.
That was too short.
Truls Paulsen lacked both
the finely tuned senses, -
- And one of
the main players on the team.
I can't deal with this shit.
I'm out!
What about Gordon.
You can't leave now.
Look at yourself!
You're fucking junkie!
And I haven't slept in two months!
Face it. We tried,
but it did not work. Fuck!
In order to rescue Gordon
Truls was forced -
- to say goodbye to his
longtime companions:
Sobril, Doprene, Valium, Stesolid.
And other good stuff.
Truls had to let love in, -
- and simultaneously overcome
his fear of the millimeters.
Hello?
Hi!
I'm making pur.
Do you like it?
I don't think I've tasted pur.
Is it difficult?
Just mixing it.
Mixing it?
I usually eat vegetables separately.
That they are individually on the
plate, in departments.
And then I eat only one,
and then the next, until I finish.
- One and one?
- Consecutively.
Oh, well.
I've stopped with medication.
- How nice. How does it feel?
- Really weird.
I get very nervous by it.
Very unusual.
But I have to stop that if
I'm going to start with curling again.
I have a guest bed for you
if you want to stay over.
Stay the night today
and then we kiss tomorrow.
Good night!
What the fuck is that squeaking sound?
Was that you?
Do you know where it came from?
Ko-ko!
Hello?
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
I have to go.
Her you go.
This is your key.
And I tossed your exercise suit
to wash. You can borrow it.
This?
Robe?
Hello.
What are you doing?
It's a new mattress.
That was the problem, not the pillow.
Espen, I have realized something now.
I'm excited! Now I'm back.
Can't you join us in NM?
There' isn't going to be an NM,
dont you realize it?
You are completely insane. And what the
fuck are you walking around in?
A robe?
Is that a robe you're walking around in?
You're walking around in a robe and I haven't
fucking slept properly in three months!
I wondered about a turtleneck,
but maybe he's going to get claustrophobic?
Never knit turtleneck to dogs. They
shall have either V-neck or boat.
- Are you sad or something?
- Why?
You're comfort eating.
- I'm just eating some cookies
- You're mauling cookies.
Into your face.
Are you crying?
- Absolutely not.
- Swallow before you cry!
Maybe you should call him.
Hello?
- Truls?
- Hello?
Can you come home?
- What is it?
- There's something important I need to show you.
What's on your mind?
Come by. I have something I must
show you. That I'm doing.
Was it you that squeaked?
Are you sure?
Are you sure it was not
you squeaking? Absolutely sure?
Ok!
I'm not coming back, Sigrid.
But it... looked very good.
Great atmosphere!
Bye.
Espen, are you there?
Hello? Espen!
There's something you have to come see.
Are you coming?
Oh, for fucks sake!
This is kidnapping!
Can we leave soon?
I have someone that would like to meet
Rod Arne. Where should he go?
You are aware that Rod Stewart still
wears Speedos?
You know what Speedos is?
That forms around your nutsack nicely?
You wear Speedos, aren't you!
Say that you wear Speedos.
No...
I don't.
You're fucking wearing Speedos!
You are a Speedos man.
You are the Speedo Man. Say aloud that you
are wearing Speedos, or I'll scream.
You are the Speedo Man.
"I'm the Speedo Man!"
Come on!
"I'm the Speedo Man!"
- I'm wearing Speedos. I am.
- You fucking piggy boy!
You are the Cock Man,
you are the Speedo Man!
Why did you leave our family?
Why did you leave me?
How can I make you understand?
Remember grandfather?
Grandfather Werner?
Werner and your grandmother
ran a grocery store.
Until grandmother heard some gossip
that Werner had gone mad.
He was doing some strange import
a bent fruit called banana.
Grandma was forced to ask a
ultimatum: either bananas or her.
He chose her.
The following year he died of tuberculosis.
And on his deathbed he said to me:
"Follow your dream,"
"Follow your dream."
You know what, pops?
This may be -
- the stupidest story
I've ever heard.
The most ridiculous...
"Follow your dream"?
Banana?!
Grandpa?!
Holy fuck!
For fucks sake!
What the fuck is this?
You're needed on stage again
in 10 minutes, Roddan.
"You're needed on stage again
in 10 minutes, Roddan."
I'm so fond of you, Gordon.
Gordon?
You must wake up, Gordon.
We're going to play NM tomorrow.
Gordon?
Hi.
- You...
- Yes?
You probably know that I...
I inhaled the smoke.
Even though I said I didn't.
I could not stop the smoke in
throat, like all the others did.
It was probably only
to protect me, Gordon.
We'll save you now, Gordon.
Relax.
Gordon?
For you who are not
at work or school -
- but have chosen to stay home to watch
the Norwegian Championship in curling:
Welcome to Lillehammer,
Hkon's Hall and preliminary rounds!
This is going to quite an NM, Knut!
What's on everybodys lips today -
- is the comeback
Truls Paulsen and his team.
It's then ready for Team Hvang
against Team Paulsen.
There's great expectations
this comeback for Truls Paulsen.
Yes, yes, yes, yes!
Yes, brush!
Brush!
- And he does not disappoint!
- It's like the old adage says:
You do not catch fish with bare fists.
Brush, brush, brush!
Brush!
- The ice must to be watered!
- Team Paulsen is in great shape.
It is likely to be some tough games
here in the qualifying rounds.
Brush, brush!
Brush!
Look at Truls Paulsen.
He is outraged over something.
There's dust!
Can you give us close-ups, producer?
Is he holding something in his hand?
- The ice needs to be watered!
- Truls, we won, Jo!
There is chaos on the court, but Team Paulsen
is in the lead before the final round.
What a drama!
Did you see the dust?
There is a lot of dust there.
- The ice must be watered.
- Yes, yes.
It was too much dust.
It must indeed be watered.
That leaves one last stone
for Truls Paulsen, -
- then Team Paulsen is
in tomorrow's final.
Perfect stone by Paulsen!
And they're in the final!
Dust!
There's dust!
What's going on here now? He does not
even realize the victory.
See, that's dust.
Look, look! Dust!
There's dust!
- Why is there dust?
- It's nothing, Truls.
Welcome to the studio.
Congratulations on the comeback, Truls,
and a place in the finals!
Here we see some pictures
from the preliminary rounds.
When we look closer at
the gaze and concentration -
- it seems that you are
on your own planet.
Not to talk about the semifinals.
You seem immensely concentrated, Paulsen.
People ask themselves if you can control the
pressure that rests on your shoulders here in NM?
Why is there dust?
What in the world has
this got to do with curling?
- You're hiding something for us, Paulsen.
- Can you confirm or deny...
Well, well, well!
Here you are!
That's the "monkey's arm"
which means he has incredibly large...
Come!
Then it is ready for
the grand finale of this year's NM:
The favorites Team Ravndal meets
comeback Team Paulsen!
"Time to fight fire with fire," said the old
woman and farted against the thunderstorm.
We're in the final, then.
- There has been a mistake here.
- What?
One of you who have written on the
participating papers are not authoritative.
Not authoritative?
I don't believe you!
That's him. You must have
the guardian's signature.
Guardian?
What? Signature?
What are you saying? Guardian?
You must have the signature
of a guardian? Guardian?
Come on! Guardian? Is that true, or what?
You must have a guardian to sign?
You must have the signature of ...? What?
Why? Guardian? Why?
Sigrid!
Why did you do it?
Because I'm your guardian, Truls.
Your well-being is my responsibility.
If professionals say
that you should not play curling, -
- I can not say:
"Yes, he will play curling!"
I am your guardian, Truls!
That's it.
That's it!
That's what's dusting here.
It's Pelle!
That's what's dusting here.
That's what's dusting here!
That's what's dusting here!
The dog is dusting. The dog!
Truls, now you're going insane again!
It was the dog.
Look!
Look, its the dog who's dusting!
The dog. Dusting. The dog.
It's the dog who's dusting!
The dog!
It's the dog.
Look. Come. It's the dog.
It's the dog who's dusting.
It's the dog. The dog.
It's the dog who's scratching. Look.
Scratch him. Scratch!
Scratch him then!
In hell's name, scratch him then!
Scr...
Scratch.
It was the dog.
Can't we just get the psychiatrist
to release Truls?
What about Gordon?
Should we just give up? Declare him dead?
- It is up to this Mongoloid!
- What do we do with Gordon?
Gordon?
Gordon!
We must save Gordon.
We must save Gordon!
We must save Gordon!
We must save Gordon!
Of course we're going to save Gordon.
Calm down.
This will be fine, kiddo.
Of course we must save Gordon.
- We must save Gordon!
- Calm down, boy.
Hold your horses, motherfucker, or you
gonna die with a dick in your hand.
So you think it's time
you get to decide over your own life?
Yes.
Yes, it's a little weird when people should
sign everything all the time.
So you have no compulsions
of any kind these days?
- No.
- That's very good.
Then I just need to have you admitted
on neurological for a small check, -
- to make sure.
You understand that?
Yes.
Does it...
Does it take long?
- I'm about to play in the finals...
- Play?
Not curling, right?
You do not think it is a bit bold?
- No...
- How are you, then?
Can you put away the
worst compulsions?
How are you really?
Are you ok, Truls?
It's a bit early to release him.
It seems that Team Ravndal
can win on walkover!
In an hour the secretariat
will make a final decision...
Tonight is the last program
in the popular series -
- "Where no one would believe
that someone could live ".
Many are probably excited about where
we're going and who we're going to meet.
Fuck, we were so close!
I know we could have beaten them.
We need to hear where they live.
Fifteen kilometers from the closest road.
We are in...
Shall we play, boys?
Fuck!
Did anyone hear where they live?
Where do you live?
So you became his guardian?
Impressive! How did you do that?
We talked a bit together,
and then I persuaded her.
- There was a water there, and mountain...
- Mountain? Was that mountain there?
Then it was certainly in Western Norway.
Tends to be on the West Coast.
- Could it have been Smla?
- Please! Can you cut it out?
- Could it have been Smla?
- I don't know!
Well it seems that Truls Paulsen is
approved for playing again.
This is fantastic!
Team Paulsen arrive at the last minute!
It is then ready for the final:
Team Ravndal against Team Paulsen.
Yes Yes Yes!
The stone has been approved
as the best stone.
Yes, yes!
Team Ravndal is leading with
two best stones.
Truls!
Hi!
We're cheering for you!
Nice!
Got yourself an artistic babe?
Truls, we like that!
No wonder you're happy.
Artistic babes will do usually do it all.
Motherfucker!
I had a pottery woman once.
She insisted that number one was the
entrance, number two was the balcony.
I came into the entrance hall, said hello,
and straight up in the second floor.
- I'm gonna fuck you, big boy!
- Stay tuned, Marcus.
Number four on Team Paulsen
must set his stone.
Brush!
Yes!
Brush, brush!
Brush, brush, brush!
Yes Yes Yes!
Yes Yes Yes...
Stop!
A brilliant stone that puts Paulsen in checkmate! What a player!
Truls Paulsen has one stone left,
but this is an impossible task.
Stefan Ravndal and his team
are obvious winners of this year NM.
Once again: The boiler laughed at the cauldron,
but discovered that itself was black.
We're so experienced, that we know that this
is over and are packaging things together.
Thanks for another Championship in curling.
See you next year!
Truls!
Come on!
Between these legs hangs the largest
reproductive organ anyone has seen!
It's the size of a
four-month old baby!
Truls!
Are you ready to open the cunt??
We will sweep over you, Truls!
Feel yourself forcing your way
into the estate!
My rocket is ready.
We will go to the Moon together.
Just bend forward and...
Lean forward, Truls!
Just let go!
Let it go!
Let it go!
Truls, just let loose!
What's Truls Paulsen doing?
We left here like a hag...
No proverbs now!
He bends down
in the known Paulsen pose.
But what is he planning?
This can't work.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Truls Paulsen managed the impossible!
He is the King of Curling!
- Yes, and Team Ravndal was haughty.
- Pride comes before a fall?
A very appropriate saying, Knut.
You know what you're doing!
I hereby declare you
husband and wife.
You may now kiss.
I'm going to start smoking again.
You remember I coughed before?
Now nothing!
I only want to apologize!
Feel the cock force, boy?
Hey, big boy. Don't be afraid, boy.
- Suck my toe, boy. Suck my big...
- Truls is going to set the stone now.
Is this what she's doing for you?
Is this what I don't do for you?
Have you tried a sleep mask?
That's just nonsense!
One centimeter outside the light is on!
It's much more important to plant the
meat bulb right in their pad.
Gordon, where are you going?
Do you know something that I do not know?
You're my bitch.
I'm black, and you are black as well.
In curling everything is about
being able to predict the millimeters.
You have to be able to predict on the
millimeter the speed of the stone -
- to land exactly
on the deciding millimeter.
Truls Paulsen
was the champion of millimeters.
Truls knew exactly how much
he had to brush the stone, -
- for it to be smooth enough
in relation to the ice.
Truls, it is smooth now.
Yes!
He didn't release the stone!
He didn't release it before the line!
For Truls Paulsen a victory
wasn't good enough on its own, -
- if the stone wasn't precisely on
the millimeter where he'd planned it.
You see, Truls!
Details! Details, Truls!
For Truls these details
was more important than for others.
In the 90s the country's top curling-team
was called Team Paulsen.
And consisted of,
skip Truls Paulsen himself, -
- the number one Marcus Blume.
Marcus was the team's Casanova,
with his own philosophy -
- that there wasn't a woman
not worth going for.
You're fuck-ing-ly beautiful!
Flemming Haug was the number two on
Team Paulsen and an eager outdoorsman.
Flemming was currently
very engaged in birding.
You can lie all night,
and the adrenalin is pumping, -
- And suddenly they are here!
Maximum ten seconds before they disappear.
- Isn't it a really short amount of time?
- It's very short!
That's what makes it
so incredibly intense!
Espen Williamsen was vice skip
on Team Paulsen.
He was at times
very negatively oriented.
Very ok cabaret.
Good.
I think it looks fucking shitty.
Sigrid had always been
the popular girl in the scene.
She was now the girlfriend of the
country's reigning champion.
My friend's boyfriend
plays in Dance With A Stranger.
In the beginning
there was so much interest from other women.
So she let him date them.
So he knew what he had at home.
Do you know what I mean?
You've told that story before.
- He was allowed to date others.
- Yes, that's what you just told me!
- And then you continue telling me?
- Yeah, did you understand it, then?
That he got to fuck other women?
Yes!
Truls Paulsen biggest challenger
was Stefan Ravndal.
Gordon was the team's coach and
Truls' soulmate since the 70s.
Truls' parents was preoccupied.
So it was natural that Gordon took
care of the contact-seeking boy.
He taught Truls about not
leaving anything to chance.
There's no point in having the zipper all the
way up if it can't be drawn all the way up.
Then I'll buy another jacket
that does not have a zipper.
A robe, for example!
No, all the way up.
Truls realized early that sloppiness
does not belong in curling.
He became more and more focused on
everything being in balance.
The zipper!
It's got to go all the way up!
For the boss of Team Paulsen the
millimeters was the most important in life.
The brushing was not good enough
on the last one.
It curled too soon.
It should go in between.
We won! Or did the details
become more important than winning?
Espen was right in his suspicions.
Brush!
It turned out that the
exaggerated focus on millimeters -
- Had developed to become
fatal compulsion neuroses.
It is rough! The ice is ...!
It's rough ice!
It's rough!
Look! Come and feel!
Rough ice!
It is rough!
Come! The ice is rough!
Come here, then!
Look!
Rough ice!
It's rough!
Truls was found
a few days later -
- unable to
to account for himself
And in the process of sending a signal
to higher powers.
And later entered
at a home for mentally ill -
- Where he was put
on strong medication.
Are you ready for this, Truls?
Ready?
Yes.
Are you ready to be discharged?
Yes...
Yes, I am ready.
That's good.
Very good.
Then I decide
that we create a guardian for you -
- until we are completely sure.
Guardian?
What does that mean in practice?
It means in fact that you are
deprived control over your own life -
- until we see that you are healthy.
Together we will find a person
which can be fit for the task.
Do you have any suggestions?
Gordon.
Gordon? We can't have anyone associated
with that competitive environment.
Can I just ask you something?
Would it have been possible
I could have been...
A guardian?
What do you say to that, Truls?
Then it will be you.
Get up!
Pelle needs to urinate.
Look at him!
Can you sit on the chair?
You are so clever.
Learned to sit on the chair!
Drink water, then.
And swallow.
And swallow.
Let me see.
At 2 you're going to therapy. And don't
talk with anyone from the old scene.
Therapy at 2. Don't talk
with anyone of the old scene. Ok.
And then Pelle.
No...
Come on.
We can't discuss this every time.
Give him a kiss.
It's perfectly normal.
There you go.
He notices when you don't mean it.
Come on.
- Like this?
- There you go.
Ok.
Hello!
Hello, Truls.
These needs to be sorted, punched
and put into the new housing directories.
Sort, punch, put.
200 pieces.
You're doing an excellent job!
- Great atmosphere!
- Great atmosphere.
"You're doing a great job, Truls.
You know it. Keep it up."
"Great atmosphere."
And then thumbs up.
And how are you, Harald?
With me? Well, now I
long walks in the woods every day -
- Along with my better half...
Well, my wife.
It's very nice.
And I really would like to force my
meat whistle up your letterbox!
Breathe normally.
Just breathe very normally.
Can you talk a little more about that
pleasant trip. Did you fed the ducks?
What medications are you on?
Sobril?
Doprene?
Stesolid?
Everything.
Everything.
And then some... more.
And you?
Nothing.
- Nothing?
- Nothing!
I just pretend.
It's so much better. Just like Harald.
My big dick rises...
- Breathe.
- Harald's not on medication?
No, he just pretends.
The medicine makes him unhappy.
The popular series "Where no
would believe that someone could live ".
You know there's starting
a diet program on TV3 now?
Now? But we were going to watch "Where no
would believe that someone could live ".
I just thought it would be good
with a little variety.
They are in a new place every episode.
I wonder where they are this time.
I heard they were going to visit twins
who lives in a very cumbersome place.
If you waiting three minutes,
you'll see it. It will start soon.
It's just a bit funny trying to
predict where it is.
It's certainly in Western Norway.
It's very cumbersome.
Just wait three minutes, and then
it'll start. No point in guessing.
- Smla!
- Can't you just stop guessing?
It starts now!
We're going to visit a place one really
would not believe that someone could live.
Two hours by bus from Hammerfest
alongside majestic mountains -
- is a little godforsaken
peninsula called...
Here Hkon vers has lived
since he was a small boy.
Fuck!
He has settled on a spot where no one
would believe that someone could live.
It's Espen!
He's outside.
- Oh, it's you?
- I need to talk to Truls.
Haven't you been told
not to come here?
It's a little different now. I need to talk
with Truls about something serious.
- Is that you, Truls?
- There's no need for screaming!
Gordon is in the hospital
with a lung collapse.
They say max 2-3 months
if he can't find a donor!
Donor? are you screaming
"donor" on my stairs?
What will the neighbors say?
Donor? Now you have to shut up!
That's disgusting.
Everything is okay, Truls.
I will get it!
You know I don't inhale?
No no!
I inhale, stop the throat,
it's standing still and exhale again.
Just like not smoking.
Here are 295 prospects on Ulvesvingen.
But I need 5 pieces,
so I must go to the storage.
Gordon?
How are you doing?
Do you know how he's doing?
He's going to die if he doesn't get a
lung donor, just like me.
And I'm in front of him in the queue.
Which means that I get the lung
first, if there even is any.
Would you get me a sip of water?
Yeah.
If you try
to sneak him in front of me -
- I will rip off your balls.
You get me?
Thank you.
Now I will drink water.
You have to wake up!
Pelle has diarrhea.
Kiss Pelle.
Great atmosphere!
My dick is going to carve
its way into -
- the second floor of your moss
infested old cunt museum!
I said that the bord should not be in the middle
of the tablecloth. That's the point with bord.
But she would not hear of it.
I said, "Try a test patch."
But she wouldn't, because then she
would feel that she is bad at sewing.
I said, "Test patch is to test sew."
But she wouldn't.
It's not called a bord in the middle.
The pattern is in the middle.
I said, "You get to do it your way,
but it's going to look ridiculous..."
You know...
I just saw Truls race past me?
Truls, yes.
The madman.
- Hi.
- Hi.
I didn't hear you.
- I have learned to walk silently.
- Oh?
Get real!
These pill dumb you down.
You know Gordon is dying
at the hospital?
Yes, I've been to see him.
We must save Gordon!
I've heard of this
privately funded operation in the US.
To half a million. Do you have a
half a million in your pocket?
Earned a little extra
working in the evenings?
Fucking hell!
Do you remember this?
40th anniversary of Gordon.
Me and you and your father.
Truls Paulsen
is back on the track again!
Nice to see you again, Truls.
It was unexpected.
Thought you'd retired from curling. Are
you getting the team back together?
No, Gordon's sick, so...
Sick, yes. that's right.
I heard.
Lung problems as well, right?
It really hurts.
It's the worst kind.
Really long donor queues and...
Absolutely impossible, they say.
It's going only one way, then.
It does you know?
It's only...
You were really attached to him,
weren't you?
Attached?
And so were you?
But you were perhaps the most attached?
Well, you get linked.
Fond of each other.
He was a father-figure,
wasn't he? Wasn't it like that?
- Let's go.
- Truls, what are you doing here?
Truls, you should not be here.
It's the only place
you should not be.
The first program in a new
season of the popular series -
- "Where no one would believe
that someone could live ".
You can blame yourself.
The agreement was: no contact
the old environment. And then you do!
But if you're smart -
- you'll learn from this.
You don't sulk but you learn.
Daddy is worse than you
on the the dressage course.
You learn faster.
Today we are going to visit a fellow -
- who lives in a place where no one ever
would believe that someone could live.
This place lies deep inside the fjords, -
- far away from anything reminiscent
of a city or other civilization.
It's called...
- Championship.
- What are you doing?
Over the niche sport curling.
One of the sport's most ardent fans,
Arild Brekke -
- Recently won
one million kroner in the lottery.
To create publicity
about his favorite sport -
- He has decided
to donate the money prize -
- to the team that wins this year's
Norwegian Championship..
Curling is a niche sport.
Why spend so much money on
something so few are interested in?
How many times have I said -
- I'm not going to answer
questions with the word "niche" in it?
Now I repeat words
I will not hear today:
Niche, narrow,
special interests, marginally...
- Arild is giving away all his money.
- Go to your room!
- It is your job to create publicity!
- Do not watch the TV.
This fantastic final in
the "inventors"!
Candidate no. 1 is a lady
who has invented a tramway -
- That it's impossible
to get your bicycle wheel stuck in.
Candidate no. 2:
Twin brothers from Mjndalen who
has invented a soap dispenser -
- that you can attach the arm
while showering!
We're going live to
our man in the shower.
As we see it's straightforward to squeeze
out a suitable dose of soap...
The direction of the device
was certainly a bit misplaced.
Then we get ready to see -
- How Lisas tramway
makes it through the product test.
She gets ready,
approaching the critical point...
I'm leaving now.
And then -
- I want a divorce.
The journalist is biased. He wants
the tram shit to win.
He's like: "Oh, what a shame
the dispenser squirted the wrong way!"
But you can see on his face
he hates the dispenser thing.
What did you say?
I want a divorce.
And I'm leaving.
I'm going to save Gordon.
He says he's should be separated. wants a
divorce. And looks like he's packed sensibly:
Coat and lamp
and Scrabble and... puff?
Loony express is coming!
Now you have to watch out!
Can confirm coat,
lamp, Scrabble and puff.
Do you think he has met someone and is going
to have kinky sex with Scrabble and puff?
Espen?
- Espen?
- Yes, hi.
- Did you run away?
- Huh?
- Did you run away?
- Yes.
As if I am ten years old?
What do you call that?
Lamp, Scrabble and puff?
I have very good news.
Arild Brekke has won a lot of money.
He has set up a half million
in prize to whoever wins NM.
We must gather the gang and win NM
in curling and save Gordon.
The medicines have made you
become a complete vegetable.
We're never going to make it.
You can just forget it. Sorry.
Turn it off.
Fuck!
Turn it on again.
Throw them out, for fucks sake!
For fucks sake!
- Are you here?
- Yes!
- Why you screaming so bad?
- These fucking pillows!
Is it not possible to find one pillow
who has the right angle for your neck?
Why should it be
so damn difficult?
It is the height that is the problem?
Sure it's the height!
The high is too soft -
- And the low is too hard
and this dun-thing is too shitty!
Look at this thing!
I might as well have just used
the cover! Ridiculous!
Fuck!
I'll go and collect the guys tomorrow.
Then we'll begin to practice a little.
This thing is a tablecloth!
I am extremely attracted to you.
It's just that simple.
And I shouldn't be.
It would be indecent and unethical.
Simply unethical.
Fiercely attracted.
And I can't be in my profession.
Can't be attracted to the patient.
I'm attracted to you, girl.
Most importantly,
when you are out and chasing ladies:
You must never look them in the eyes
when you want them.
You get it?
If you do...
Then...
The point is...
I'm a little more focused on saving Gordon.
Because they will stalk you,
and you dont want that.
When you are single
you must always work from behind.
Right?
You may well start over.
Driving on the side and playing around.
But you must always
end the job from behind.
Ok?
You get it?
Well, how are you doing?
Yeah I'm fine.
Quit with medicine and stuff.
I am like the old days, now.
This is where it is.
Flemming?
Shut up!
We are waiting for a snipe
that can come anytime!
Snipe?
A bird.
A bird!
- We're looking for Flemming. Is he here?
- Shut up!
Approximately every three years it is
possible to spot a snipe here.
If you see it,
you're going to be totally hooked.
The plan is to train a bit so we can get
the championship title and save Gordon.
Truls has quit his medication.
What do you say?
I've got my new hobby now.
This is sort of full time.
Watching birds?
Stop fucking around!
I kinda have
committed myself to this.
I can not decide right now.
The bird might be here.
- Pay attention now, boys.
- Oh my god, I think I see it!
Marcus stop!
Damn!
Damn!
Did anyone see it?
You are out of the bird club for good,
Flemming.
Sitting in a cage for 10 hours
and watching birds.
Watching birds!
Help me!
Destroy him!
Fuck, Truls. I thought
you were in balance now.
Heard anything from Espen?
How's it going with him?
I am worried about Espen. He says
that he has not slept in 2-3 months.
He blames the shitty pillows from Jysk,
but it has nothing to do with Jysk.
It has nothing to do with Jysk.
It's about his father.
- His father?
- Look here.
Postcards from his father 20 years ago.
Lay hidden behind a bookcase.
And I found it here.
Wow! His father is an
Rod Stewart impersonator?
We need Espen in NM. He just needs to
talk with his father. Right?
Hey, it's Truls!
Hello.
It's good that you're teaming up.
It's impressive.
- It kicks off on Saturday.
- Yes.
Are you looking forward to it, Truls?
Yes, it is going to be
fun to play again.
- Now we mostly doing this for Gordon.
- Gordon?
Gordon.
Lyn Gordon.
Lyn Gordon.
Gordis...
You? The zipper, then?
It should not be that far down?
That's not like you. Like that.
Even higher, perhaps?
It should be up, should it not?
All the way up?
Like this?
Here.
Where it should be. Or?
Yes?
What?
Or don't you care about
that stuff anymore?
Don't you?
Wow. Good!
See you on the field.
I'll see you.
In sport of curling
it's all about millimeters.
You must have a sensory apparatus
which is 100% tuned -
- So you are able to
deal with the nuances of the game.
And you must have a team with players
which is 100% ready for the task.
Brush!
Brush!
Oh.
That was too short.
Truls Paulsen lacked both
the finely tuned senses, -
- And one of
the main players on the team.
I can't deal with this shit.
I'm out!
What about Gordon.
You can't leave now.
Look at yourself!
You're fucking junkie!
And I haven't slept in two months!
Face it. We tried,
but it did not work. Fuck!
In order to rescue Gordon
Truls was forced -
- to say goodbye to his
longtime companions:
Sobril, Doprene, Valium, Stesolid.
And other good stuff.
Truls had to let love in, -
- and simultaneously overcome
his fear of the millimeters.
Hello?
Hi!
I'm making pur.
Do you like it?
I don't think I've tasted pur.
Is it difficult?
Just mixing it.
Mixing it?
I usually eat vegetables separately.
That they are individually on the
plate, in departments.
And then I eat only one,
and then the next, until I finish.
- One and one?
- Consecutively.
Oh, well.
I've stopped with medication.
- How nice. How does it feel?
- Really weird.
I get very nervous by it.
Very unusual.
But I have to stop that if
I'm going to start with curling again.
I have a guest bed for you
if you want to stay over.
Stay the night today
and then we kiss tomorrow.
Good night!
What the fuck is that squeaking sound?
Was that you?
Do you know where it came from?
Ko-ko!
Hello?
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
I have to go.
Her you go.
This is your key.
And I tossed your exercise suit
to wash. You can borrow it.
This?
Robe?
Hello.
What are you doing?
It's a new mattress.
That was the problem, not the pillow.
Espen, I have realized something now.
I'm excited! Now I'm back.
Can't you join us in NM?
There' isn't going to be an NM,
dont you realize it?
You are completely insane. And what the
fuck are you walking around in?
A robe?
Is that a robe you're walking around in?
You're walking around in a robe and I haven't
fucking slept properly in three months!
I wondered about a turtleneck,
but maybe he's going to get claustrophobic?
Never knit turtleneck to dogs. They
shall have either V-neck or boat.
- Are you sad or something?
- Why?
You're comfort eating.
- I'm just eating some cookies
- You're mauling cookies.
Into your face.
Are you crying?
- Absolutely not.
- Swallow before you cry!
Maybe you should call him.
Hello?
- Truls?
- Hello?
Can you come home?
- What is it?
- There's something important I need to show you.
What's on your mind?
Come by. I have something I must
show you. That I'm doing.
Was it you that squeaked?
Are you sure?
Are you sure it was not
you squeaking? Absolutely sure?
Ok!
I'm not coming back, Sigrid.
But it... looked very good.
Great atmosphere!
Bye.
Espen, are you there?
Hello? Espen!
There's something you have to come see.
Are you coming?
Oh, for fucks sake!
This is kidnapping!
Can we leave soon?
I have someone that would like to meet
Rod Arne. Where should he go?
You are aware that Rod Stewart still
wears Speedos?
You know what Speedos is?
That forms around your nutsack nicely?
You wear Speedos, aren't you!
Say that you wear Speedos.
No...
I don't.
You're fucking wearing Speedos!
You are a Speedos man.
You are the Speedo Man. Say aloud that you
are wearing Speedos, or I'll scream.
You are the Speedo Man.
"I'm the Speedo Man!"
Come on!
"I'm the Speedo Man!"
- I'm wearing Speedos. I am.
- You fucking piggy boy!
You are the Cock Man,
you are the Speedo Man!
Why did you leave our family?
Why did you leave me?
How can I make you understand?
Remember grandfather?
Grandfather Werner?
Werner and your grandmother
ran a grocery store.
Until grandmother heard some gossip
that Werner had gone mad.
He was doing some strange import
a bent fruit called banana.
Grandma was forced to ask a
ultimatum: either bananas or her.
He chose her.
The following year he died of tuberculosis.
And on his deathbed he said to me:
"Follow your dream,"
"Follow your dream."
You know what, pops?
This may be -
- the stupidest story
I've ever heard.
The most ridiculous...
"Follow your dream"?
Banana?!
Grandpa?!
Holy fuck!
For fucks sake!
What the fuck is this?
You're needed on stage again
in 10 minutes, Roddan.
"You're needed on stage again
in 10 minutes, Roddan."
I'm so fond of you, Gordon.
Gordon?
You must wake up, Gordon.
We're going to play NM tomorrow.
Gordon?
Hi.
- You...
- Yes?
You probably know that I...
I inhaled the smoke.
Even though I said I didn't.
I could not stop the smoke in
throat, like all the others did.
It was probably only
to protect me, Gordon.
We'll save you now, Gordon.
Relax.
Gordon?
For you who are not
at work or school -
- but have chosen to stay home to watch
the Norwegian Championship in curling:
Welcome to Lillehammer,
Hkon's Hall and preliminary rounds!
This is going to quite an NM, Knut!
What's on everybodys lips today -
- is the comeback
Truls Paulsen and his team.
It's then ready for Team Hvang
against Team Paulsen.
There's great expectations
this comeback for Truls Paulsen.
Yes, yes, yes, yes!
Yes, brush!
Brush!
- And he does not disappoint!
- It's like the old adage says:
You do not catch fish with bare fists.
Brush, brush, brush!
Brush!
- The ice must to be watered!
- Team Paulsen is in great shape.
It is likely to be some tough games
here in the qualifying rounds.
Brush, brush!
Brush!
Look at Truls Paulsen.
He is outraged over something.
There's dust!
Can you give us close-ups, producer?
Is he holding something in his hand?
- The ice needs to be watered!
- Truls, we won, Jo!
There is chaos on the court, but Team Paulsen
is in the lead before the final round.
What a drama!
Did you see the dust?
There is a lot of dust there.
- The ice must be watered.
- Yes, yes.
It was too much dust.
It must indeed be watered.
That leaves one last stone
for Truls Paulsen, -
- then Team Paulsen is
in tomorrow's final.
Perfect stone by Paulsen!
And they're in the final!
Dust!
There's dust!
What's going on here now? He does not
even realize the victory.
See, that's dust.
Look, look! Dust!
There's dust!
- Why is there dust?
- It's nothing, Truls.
Welcome to the studio.
Congratulations on the comeback, Truls,
and a place in the finals!
Here we see some pictures
from the preliminary rounds.
When we look closer at
the gaze and concentration -
- it seems that you are
on your own planet.
Not to talk about the semifinals.
You seem immensely concentrated, Paulsen.
People ask themselves if you can control the
pressure that rests on your shoulders here in NM?
Why is there dust?
What in the world has
this got to do with curling?
- You're hiding something for us, Paulsen.
- Can you confirm or deny...
Well, well, well!
Here you are!
That's the "monkey's arm"
which means he has incredibly large...
Come!
Then it is ready for
the grand finale of this year's NM:
The favorites Team Ravndal meets
comeback Team Paulsen!
"Time to fight fire with fire," said the old
woman and farted against the thunderstorm.
We're in the final, then.
- There has been a mistake here.
- What?
One of you who have written on the
participating papers are not authoritative.
Not authoritative?
I don't believe you!
That's him. You must have
the guardian's signature.
Guardian?
What? Signature?
What are you saying? Guardian?
You must have the signature
of a guardian? Guardian?
Come on! Guardian? Is that true, or what?
You must have a guardian to sign?
You must have the signature of ...? What?
Why? Guardian? Why?
Sigrid!
Why did you do it?
Because I'm your guardian, Truls.
Your well-being is my responsibility.
If professionals say
that you should not play curling, -
- I can not say:
"Yes, he will play curling!"
I am your guardian, Truls!
That's it.
That's it!
That's what's dusting here.
It's Pelle!
That's what's dusting here.
That's what's dusting here!
That's what's dusting here!
The dog is dusting. The dog!
Truls, now you're going insane again!
It was the dog.
Look!
Look, its the dog who's dusting!
The dog. Dusting. The dog.
It's the dog who's dusting!
The dog!
It's the dog.
Look. Come. It's the dog.
It's the dog who's dusting.
It's the dog. The dog.
It's the dog who's scratching. Look.
Scratch him. Scratch!
Scratch him then!
In hell's name, scratch him then!
Scr...
Scratch.
It was the dog.
Can't we just get the psychiatrist
to release Truls?
What about Gordon?
Should we just give up? Declare him dead?
- It is up to this Mongoloid!
- What do we do with Gordon?
Gordon?
Gordon!
We must save Gordon.
We must save Gordon!
We must save Gordon!
We must save Gordon!
Of course we're going to save Gordon.
Calm down.
This will be fine, kiddo.
Of course we must save Gordon.
- We must save Gordon!
- Calm down, boy.
Hold your horses, motherfucker, or you
gonna die with a dick in your hand.
So you think it's time
you get to decide over your own life?
Yes.
Yes, it's a little weird when people should
sign everything all the time.
So you have no compulsions
of any kind these days?
- No.
- That's very good.
Then I just need to have you admitted
on neurological for a small check, -
- to make sure.
You understand that?
Yes.
Does it...
Does it take long?
- I'm about to play in the finals...
- Play?
Not curling, right?
You do not think it is a bit bold?
- No...
- How are you, then?
Can you put away the
worst compulsions?
How are you really?
Are you ok, Truls?
It's a bit early to release him.
It seems that Team Ravndal
can win on walkover!
In an hour the secretariat
will make a final decision...
Tonight is the last program
in the popular series -
- "Where no one would believe
that someone could live ".
Many are probably excited about where
we're going and who we're going to meet.
Fuck, we were so close!
I know we could have beaten them.
We need to hear where they live.
Fifteen kilometers from the closest road.
We are in...
Shall we play, boys?
Fuck!
Did anyone hear where they live?
Where do you live?
So you became his guardian?
Impressive! How did you do that?
We talked a bit together,
and then I persuaded her.
- There was a water there, and mountain...
- Mountain? Was that mountain there?
Then it was certainly in Western Norway.
Tends to be on the West Coast.
- Could it have been Smla?
- Please! Can you cut it out?
- Could it have been Smla?
- I don't know!
Well it seems that Truls Paulsen is
approved for playing again.
This is fantastic!
Team Paulsen arrive at the last minute!
It is then ready for the final:
Team Ravndal against Team Paulsen.
Yes Yes Yes!
The stone has been approved
as the best stone.
Yes, yes!
Team Ravndal is leading with
two best stones.
Truls!
Hi!
We're cheering for you!
Nice!
Got yourself an artistic babe?
Truls, we like that!
No wonder you're happy.
Artistic babes will do usually do it all.
Motherfucker!
I had a pottery woman once.
She insisted that number one was the
entrance, number two was the balcony.
I came into the entrance hall, said hello,
and straight up in the second floor.
- I'm gonna fuck you, big boy!
- Stay tuned, Marcus.
Number four on Team Paulsen
must set his stone.
Brush!
Yes!
Brush, brush!
Brush, brush, brush!
Yes Yes Yes!
Yes Yes Yes...
Stop!
A brilliant stone that puts Paulsen in checkmate! What a player!
Truls Paulsen has one stone left,
but this is an impossible task.
Stefan Ravndal and his team
are obvious winners of this year NM.
Once again: The boiler laughed at the cauldron,
but discovered that itself was black.
We're so experienced, that we know that this
is over and are packaging things together.
Thanks for another Championship in curling.
See you next year!
Truls!
Come on!
Between these legs hangs the largest
reproductive organ anyone has seen!
It's the size of a
four-month old baby!
Truls!
Are you ready to open the cunt??
We will sweep over you, Truls!
Feel yourself forcing your way
into the estate!
My rocket is ready.
We will go to the Moon together.
Just bend forward and...
Lean forward, Truls!
Just let go!
Let it go!
Let it go!
Truls, just let loose!
What's Truls Paulsen doing?
We left here like a hag...
No proverbs now!
He bends down
in the known Paulsen pose.
But what is he planning?
This can't work.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Truls Paulsen managed the impossible!
He is the King of Curling!
- Yes, and Team Ravndal was haughty.
- Pride comes before a fall?
A very appropriate saying, Knut.
You know what you're doing!
I hereby declare you
husband and wife.
You may now kiss.
I'm going to start smoking again.
You remember I coughed before?
Now nothing!
I only want to apologize!
Feel the cock force, boy?
Hey, big boy. Don't be afraid, boy.
- Suck my toe, boy. Suck my big...
- Truls is going to set the stone now.
Is this what she's doing for you?
Is this what I don't do for you?
Have you tried a sleep mask?
That's just nonsense!
One centimeter outside the light is on!
It's much more important to plant the
meat bulb right in their pad.
Gordon, where are you going?
Do you know something that I do not know?
You're my bitch.
I'm black, and you are black as well.