Krampus Unleashed (2016) Movie Script

(sweeping instrumental music)
(crickets chirping)
(crunching footsteps)
- Who's that?
(crickets chirping)
Somebody out there?
(crickets chirping)
(gun clicks)
You best make yourself known
before I light you up.
(crickets chirp)
(crunching footsteps)
- Christ, Harvey, a
bit jumpy, aren't we?
- Shit.
You tryin' to get a drop on me?
You're lucky I didn't
blow your heads off.
- Yeah, that's me, Mr. Lucky.
Anything yet?
- Rawlings and Lightfoot
have been up there all day
with that Kraut.
I'm startin' to think
this whole thing's nothin'
but a waste of time.
If there was somethin' here,
it was cleared
out long time ago.
That old German's got
us on a fool's errand.
- He used to run with
the Klaus Younger crew.
Bunch of crazy
old Germans robbed
every bank and stage
from here to Texas.
Now if he says this is where
old Eric Klaus buried his loot,
I think it's worth lookin' into.
- Hmm.
If you say so.
(crickets chirp)
(spade crunches)
(spade creaks)
(crickets chirp)
(spades crunch)
- Find anything, Ben?
- Nothin'.
- Maybe we're diggin'
in the wrong spot.
- Boy's got me diggin'
five holes today already.
Maybe this whole damn
thing's just a waste of time.
(digger speaking
foreign language)
- What's he sayin'?
- Nothin' friendly to be sure.
- I said if you Americans dig
as much as you talk,
we'd be to China by now.
- Ain't likin' that
mouth on you, ole boy.
- Hey, you don't touch me,
you (speaks foreign language)!
I will kill you!
- [Man On Right] Hey!
- Stuff it, kid.
There ain't no Kraut
gold down there.
- You quit now, Ben,
you lose your share.
- It's fine by me.
(man in suspenders
speaks foreign language)
You say somethin', sugar?
- Yeah, I said go!
Be gone!
- Well I don't take orders
from the likes of you.
- [Man In Suspenders] Oh really?
- [Voiceover] Hey, fellas!
- [Ben] I'll kick your ass.
I'll put you in that hole--
- [Voiceover] Fellas!
- You want some of me?
I'll bury you in
that fuckin' hole.
- [Voiceover] Hey, hey.
- [Voiceover] I think
we got somethin' here.
- (laughs) I told you!
- Shut up, man.
Help me dig.
- [Voiceover] Come on.
- [Man In Suspenders] Oh!
- This is it, Clayton, payday.
(chains rattling)
(lock rattling)
The hell?
- Looks like laundry.
- Shit!
Don't that just beat all?
The great Klaus Younger treasure
ain't nothin' but a
pile of dirty skivvies.
Too bad we listened
to you, Kraut.
(speaking foreign language)
- Wait, I feel somethin'.
(foreboding instrumental music)
- Shit, find of the decade.
Good goin', Clay.
You found yourself
a shiny new rock.
- No, Klaus wouldn't
have buried it out here
if it wasn't worth somethin'.
- [Voiceover] It, it's got
some kind of writin' on it.
- Yeah, symbols.
Bring that light here.
(speaking foreign language)
- What?
- What language you
suppose that is?
- It's ancient German.
Stones like this have existed
since the dawn of time.
And when they appear,
they bring nothing but
great evil with them.
- You can read that?
- Yeah, I know what it means.
It's a summoning stone.
- Looks like a
piece of coal to me.
- Yeah, it's coal.
Coal that was placed
into the shoes
of those who were cursed.
Those who angered the old gods.
- That is some story, ole boy.
- St. Nicholas himself
possessed just such a stone.
He stole it from the pagans.
He sent it to his
enemies as a warning.
To those who would not convert.
To those who opposed him.
- St. Nicholas?
- Yeah.
- You mean Santa Claus?
You boys hearin' this shit?
- Look, please, you
must put it back.
Please put it back.
This is not something that
you wish to trifle with.
- [Ben] Cursed stones.
Santa Claus.
Well I've heard about enough.
- [Voiceover] Hey,
hey, hey, hey!
- Get your damn
hands off it, Ben!
- Shit, look at that.
(eerie instrumental music)
- This ain't right.
- You mean that might
be worth something?
- It means we're all dead.
We're all dead men!
You stupid fools!
You have awakened him!
- Who?
- Krampus!
- (sighs) Bullshit.
That's what I say.
- What the hell is that?
- He's coming!
- I don't like this, Clay.
- You stupid fools,
we're all dead men!
You've damned us!
- Let's get outta here.
- Yeah, you called it, pardner.
(eerie instrumental music)
- Christ crucified,
what the hell is that?
- [Bald Man] Sounds
closer than before.
- I'm not stayin' to find out.
(eerie instrumental music)
(dramatic percussive music)
(pulsing heartbeat)
- Oh God!
- Get outta here!
- Clay!
- Run!
(gun fires)
- Oh my God!
(crunching footsteps)
(eerie instrumental music)
(dramatic percussive music)
(blood splatters)
(dramatic percussive music)
(clomping footsteps)
(water splatters)
(mysterious instrumental music)
(crickets chirping)
(dark instrumental music)
(bright, cheery
instrumental music)
Oh the weather
outside is frightful
But a fire is so delightful
Since we've no place to go
Let it snow, let
it snow, let it snow
It doesn't show
signs of stoppin'
And I brought some
corn for poppin'
The lights
are turned down low
Let it snow, let
it snow, let it snow
When we finally
kiss good night
Good night
How I hate to go
out in the storm
Oh no
But if you really
hold me tight
All the way home
I'll be warm
The fire is slowly dyin'
And, my dear, we're
still goodbye-ing
As long as you love me so
Love me so
Let it snow, let
it snow, let it snow
Let it snow, let
it snow, let it snow
But as long as
you love me so
Let it snow, let
it snow, let it snow
Oh yeah
(smooth jazz music)
- Okay, according
to the nav system,
we're on the homestretch.
- How ya doin', kiddo?
- I'm okay.
- But?
- It's just weird.
It doesn't really feel
like Christmas this year.
- Lots of places don't
snow at Christmastime.
- I know.
- And aren't you excited
to see Nana and Grandpa?
- I can't even remember them.
- I know, honey.
It's been way too long
since you've seen them.
And that's one of the
reasons we're doing this.
And your cousin
Troy will be there.
- I hate Troy.
- Tommy,
we don't hate anyone, buddy.
- But he always tries
to mess with me.
- And he's a total little perv.
When they came to
visit us last year,
I caught him trying
to take pictures of me
through my window.
- That's not good.
- Well, it's been almost a year
since we last saw our my
brother and his family.
Maybe Troy's grown up.
- Well here's hopin' we can
say the same for your brother.
- Funny.
- You made it.
So good to see you, sweetheart.
- You, too, Mom.
- Hi, Will.
- Good to see you again.
- This can't be Fiona,
she's all grown up.
- Not quite.
- And Tommy.
- Hi, Grandma.
- So big.
- Hey, welcome to the casa.
- [Blonde Woman] Hey, Daddy!
- That's my girl.
- Dale.
- How was your flight?
- Oh, it was better
than the drive.
- (chuckling) I heard that.
Well maybe the next time
you all come to visit,
we can build an airstrip for ya.
- Oh stop.
- What, we don't
have enough land?
- Let's get you all settled in.
Dale, will you help
Will with the bags?
- [Dale] Yeah.
- [Grandma] Amber, I have
your old room prepared
for you and Will.
And I thought Tommy and Troy
could stay in the sun room.
And that leaves the
blue room for Fiona.
- [Amber] Perfect.
- Whoa.
- I'll say.
- Well, I see you fellas
met ole Blackfoot.
Now he's what you
call a real man-eater.
- Really?
- Yeah, when Amber was a baby
and David was a little guy,
that would've made me
about your age, Will,
when I first encountered
ole Blackfoot.
I swear, his eyes are faded now,
but, if you look real close,
you can still see
that look in 'em.
- What look is that?
- Hunger.
See, when an animal
gets a taste for man,
he goes crazy for it,
becomes an absolute beast.
He just can't get enough of it.
- This guy?
- (sighs) Yep.
Across the valley is
the Rogers' ranch.
Now, it seems ole Blackfoot
had acquired a taste
for old man Rogers' cows.
So he and his two sons decided
they were gonna put him down.
Now they picked up
his track easy enough.
But it was that night,
when they made camp,
that's when he got 'em.
- He killed them?
- Eviscerated would
be a better word.
He chopped those
bodies up so badly
that you couldn't tell
where one victim ended
and another one began.
- Crazy!
Is this you?
- Yeah, that's me
and ole Blackfoot.
You know, I could say
that it was due to skill,
but, really, it was pure luck.
I came across him at suppertime,
chewin' on an elk.
And it still took more
than half a dozen rounds
from my .308 to bring him down.
- Scary.
- I'll say.
Now when an animal
gets the hunger,
he becomes more than a beast.
He becomes
and if you were to
get the drop on him,
it's only because he let ya.
You see, he's lost
all fear of man.
And he just gets cocky.
(bird caws)
(dog barks)
(bird caws)
(dogs bark)
- [Voiceover] Mornin', Rog.
- Sam.
- Find the big one?
- Naw, man.
Tracks have been scarce
up by Clayton's Pass.
- Well, you just keep lookin'.
Eventually, you'll find him.
- Yeah, that I will, man.
- Sam, why the hell are you
encouragin' this nonsense?
- Nonsense?
Take a look at this.
- Lemme see.
- What does that
look like to you?
- Blurry nonsense.
- Shit, girl, you're crazy.
I took this photo
myself not two days ago.
And not a stone's throw
from Hangman's Wash.
I'm gettin' close.
I can feel it.
- Well, know what I think?
I think you need to
stop gettin' drunk
before you go huntin'.
- Later, Sam.
- Huh.
- What?
- Low fuel light just came on.
- Yeah?
- I thought we'd make it
there before running low.
Still, 600 miles is not
too bad on a single tank.
- [Troy] Yeah,
Dad, that's great.
Happy for you, Dad.
- Well, we still
got a ways to go,
so if nature's calling, now
would be a good time to go.
- Uh, no way am I peeing here.
- I grew up here, babe.
There's nothin' to be afraid of.
Guess I need to fill up.
- I'm sorry, cash only.
- Really?
You can't be serious.
- I'm serious.
- Shit.
You got an ATM?
- Yep.
- Great, where is it?
- It don't work.
- Well that's, that's lovely.
That's lovely.
- You, uh, got a
bathroom around here?
- Yep, but that
don't work either.
- [Troy] Well shit.
(window whirs)
- David, I don't like it here.
That strange man over there,
he keeps staring at me.
- Take it as a compliment.
Just means you still got it.
I need some cash.
What do ya got?
Let me see your purse.
- [Woman] Hey!
- Honestly?
It's a total mess.
- Sorry it's not up to
your rummaging standards.
(bird caws)
- Yep, that's it
right there, man.
Told you.
No doubt.
We're gettin' closer,
Roger, I can feel it.
- Yes we are, man.
(birds caw)
- Closer to what?
- Close to the mother lode, man.
- The mother lode?
- [Roger] Yep, yep, yep.
- Hey, take a look,
take, take a look
at that right there.
You ever seen a track
like that before?
Naw, you ain't, have ya?
You wanna know
how come you ain't
never seen a track
like that before?
Ain't no man makes
a track like that.
And no beast neither.
Tell you what,
exceptin' for him.
- Him?
- Sasquatch.
- What?
- You know, Bigfoot?
Jesus Christ.
- (chuckling) You're
kidding, right?
- No!
- Bigfoot?
- What, you don't watch
the History Channel?
- God.
20 bucks.
At least this'll
get us outta here.
- Glad to hear it.
- All right, Terry, man,
now to triangulate
this correctly,
we need to start up
on the 15 mile marker
by old Route Nine.
- That makes sense.
- Gosh, "makes sense"?
(chuckles) You
guys are priceless.
- Man, what the
hell are you doin'?
- Believe me, guys,
this is going viral.
- You need to get the
hell outta here right now.
- Make me.
- Ah, you little shit!
(Troy giggles)
- You best do what the man says.
- Get that outta my face, son.
(Troy growls)
- [Father] Come on, Troy, now.
- Wait, they're getting mad.
This is the best part.
- You best do what the man says
before they wind up cleanin' up
what's left of your ass
with a goddamn spatula!
- [Troy] (giggles) Good one.
- [Father] Troy!
- Go run off to your dad, boy.
- [Troy] Have fun.
- Is that Will's car?
- It's a rental I guess.
I doubt they drove all
the way from Atlanta.
- Well, we know somebody
who doesn't care
about his carbon footprint.
Let's get this party started.
- David, come here
and give me a hug.
- [David] Hey, Mom.
- Troy.
- What?
- Get outta the car and
say hello to your family.
- (sighs) So lame.
- That must be Dave now.
- You ready for this, buddy?
- Are you?
- Hey, babe.
- Hey, Will.
- Hey, Dave.
- It's David.
- Right.
Sorry, David.
You remember Tommy?
- Of course.
How's it goin', big guy?
- Good.
- You remember your cousin Troy?
- Fiona, you are just
gorgeous, aren't you?
- Thanks, Aunt Viv.
- [David] Troy, let's
put the phone away
and join the rest
of the Homo sapiens.
Say hello to your
uncle and your cousin.
- What's up?
- So, Tommy's in what grade now?
- Seventh.
- Seventh?
God, how time flies.
- [Voiceover] That's me.
- [Voiceover] Santa Claus
will know if you
were nice to him.
Where's your sister?
- [Troy] Shit.
- Hey, you know we are
having dinner soon.
- So?
- So, your aunt and
your grandmother
have gone to a lot of trouble
to make a meal for everyone.
- [Voiceover] She
makes Daddy angry.
- Good for them.
- [Voiceover] So
sad that she cries.
- [Voiceover] And you,
does she make you sad?
- I'm sorry about that.
He's just going
through some phase.
- Not at all.
He reminds me of his father
when he was that age.
- [Voiceover] She
makes Daddy angry.
She makes Mommy sad.
So sad that she cries.
- [Voiceover] And you,
does she make you sad?
- Want some?
- No thanks.
- [Voiceover] What
are you reading?
- [Voiceover] Oh,
this is an old story.
- [Voiceover] Older than you?
- [Voiceover] Yeah,
even older than me.
- What you guys watchin'?
- I don't know, some
Christmas thing.
- It's a Christmas story.
- [Girl On TV] Can
you read it to me?
- Yeah, 'tis the season for
gross commercialization.
- [Voiceover] And this one
used to give me nightmares.
- Troubling, isn't it?
- What's that?
- Being surrounded
by all this murder.
You know, for years I wouldn't
set foot in this place.
- Really?
- But then I realized I
need to be more tolerant
to those less evolved.
- Good for you.
- [Voiceover] Who's that?
- [Voiceover] Who, that?
- Hey,
is that thing real?
- I'm sure it is, Tommy.
Let's not touch it.
- It's okay, Tommy,
Grandpa wouldn't mind.
- How much this thing worth?
- I don't know, what's
gold trading for today?
Uh, it's like 50,
60 bucks an ounce.
That's easy 25, 30 ounces, so
that would be, um--
- It's more like
$1,800 an ounce.
- For this little thing?
- You guys wanna know the really
interesting part about it?
Grandpa Dale found that
on this very property.
- No shit?
- No!
Yeah, I mean.
He was panning for
gold in the creek.
These hills are full of gold.
Hey, I got an idea.
You boys ever been
pannin' for gold?
- No.
- What do ya say I show you how?
- I don't think that's
a good idea, Dave.
I mean, dinner's comin'
up here pretty soon.
- Aw, come on, Will, the creek's
a five minute walk from here.
- I don't know if I'm
up for that, Dave.
- Come on, Dad, it'll be fun.
- All right, well, ask
Grandma and your mom
if it's okay.
- We've got plenty of time.
I'll get Grandpa's panning kit.
(bell clangs)
(police band chatters)
- Hey, Fran.
So what'd your
horoscope say today?
- "You will spend another
Christmas Eve alone
"in a small dispatch station."
- Fran, it's not that bad.
Hey, just, just hear me out.
How 'bout this?
How 'bout you and
I, we'll just sing
Christmas carols to each
other over the radio?
- So how'd you got stuck
on the holiday shift?
- Uh, just lucky I guess.
- Yeah.
How's the little lady
gonna feel about that?
- Well, actually, she moved
the rest of her stuff out
last week.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't know.
I liked that one, too.
- Yeah, well, you didn't
have to live with her.
- Hey, I hear that.
- Boom!
Single life.
I gotta get back on the saddle.
You mind if I grab a cookie?
- Watch out for
falling reindeer turds.
- [Cop] All right,
reindeer turds.
All right, have a good night.
- Yeah, see ya.
(birds tweeting)
- This is stupid.
You didn't tell me how
far it was gonna be.
- Come on, son, show
a little backbone.
Not even been half a mile.
- Whatever.
- Over here looks
like a good spot.
Boys, let me show
ya how it's done.
- [Will] You know,
I never took you
for the outdoors type.
- Okay, see that?
Once you get a nice
amount like this,
just swirl the pan.
Hey, Troy, wanna give it a try?
- [Troy] Pass.
- Okay.
Tommy, how 'bout you?
- [Will] Go ahead, Tommy.
Give it a shot.
- [Tommy] Like this?
- Good, just like that.
Now try and sift through it.
Tip it so you can
drain the water out.
- [Tommy] Oh!
- Be careful.
- [Will] It's okay, Tommy.
Just go ahead and
give it another try.
(David snorts)
- Smell that?
- What?
- He's smoking again.
Hey, Troy!
I can smell that cigarette.
- [Troy] What?
I'm not smokin'.
- [David] Yeah, sure you're not.
- [Tommy] Am I doin'
this right, Dad?
- Honestly, I don't know, buddy.
I don't even think your
uncle really knows either.
- Tryin' to strike it rich?
- [Will] Hi.
- You're not gonna
get anything that way.
lemme see your pan.
Okay, so.
Without a sifter,
you wanna start
with just a little bit, like
Just put in some water.
Just a little,
yeah, there ya go.
Yeah, get some of
the dirt, yeah,
and the wet off.
There ya go.
Good job, bud.
- [Will] Oh, perfect.
Well, we appreciate the help.
- Yeah.
- I'm Will.
- Oh, Bonnie.
- [Will] This is my son Tommy.
- Nice to meet you both.
- So, I take it you're
from around here?
- Yeah, born and raised.
- Oh, very cool.
- [Bonnie] Mm hmm.
- Oh, hi.
I'm uh, I'm Dave.
- Hi, Dave, I'm Bonnie.
- Yeah, yeah, I, uh,
it's David actually.
My, my name's David.
- Mine's still Bonnie.
- (chuckles) Yeah.
- [Troy] You guys done?
This is beyond lame.
- That's, that's my boy Troy.
- Hey!
I can't find my way back alone
and I'm fuckin' bored!
(Bonnie chuckles)
- Yeah, you know,
teenagers, right?
- Hey, this is the dumbest
thing I've ever done.
How are you doin'?
- I'm good.
- Okay, Will, I'm sure
supper's ready by now.
- [Will] Yeah.
- So, uh, it was,
it was a pleasure
meetin' you, Bonnie.
- [Bonnie] Yeah.
Yeah, it was nice to meet you.
I'll see y'all later.
- [Will] See ya around.
- Now that was one
sweet piece of ass.
- Really, is that how you
refer to women, is it?
- What?
- Let's go, come on.
- Are we going now?
- [David] Yes.
- [Troy] Thank you.
- Hey, Dad, what is that?
- [David] What?
- [Will] I don't know.
(foreboding instrumental music)
- [David] Looks like
it could be onyx maybe?
It's interesting.
- It's a rock.
- It's so smooth.
- Yeah, could be an onyx.
Can I see it?
It's light.
- It's really boring.
- Very interesting find, Tommy.
Way to go.
- Think your uncle's jealous.
(crickets chirp)
(oven beeps)
(doorbell rings)
- Hey, Bonnie.
- What do you want, Dan?
- Well, it is Christmas.
I figured I'd just
stop by and say hello.
I mean, I like what you've
done with the place.
- Hi, you need to leave.
- Why?
Is he here?
- He has a name.
- Yeah, I, I know,
but he also has a record, too.
But I bet you didn't know that.
- Seriously?
- Your man has a real lead foot.
He's had his license
suspended twice
because he doesn't
pay his fines.
- You're doing background
checks on my new boyfriend.
Do you have any idea
how creepy that is?
- Hey, look, I'm just
lookin' out for you.
- Well you need to stop
looking out for me.
It's over, Dan.
Take a hint.
(crickets chirp)
- Oh, I,
I didn't see you there.
- It's 'cause I'm not.
Just pretend you can't see me.
- 'Kay.
- Why are you so fascinated
by that stupid rock?
- I just think it's cool.
(laughing and coughing)
- Man, you're easy to impress.
Give it to me.
- Give it back, Troy!
- [Troy] What, you're gonna
tell your daddy on me?
- [Tommy] Dumbass.
(Troy chuckles)
- Troy.
Where are you?
(Troy clears throat)
You're smoking
again, aren't you?
- [Troy] (coughs) No I'm not.
- I can smell it.
- See, no cigarettes.
- Well come inside.
Your father needs your
help with his laptop.
- [Troy] Later.
- Now!
- Damn.
(sighs) Fine.
(ominous instrumental music)
(crickets chirp)
- Shit.
(gun cocks)
I, I wasn't--
- Shut up!
- Easy.
- Hands up.
What you doin'
outside my window?
- I was just trying to--
- Save it!
- Look, if you just
let me explain.
- Ooh, what's that little thing?
- Well, that would be my--
- Turn around.
So this is how you surprise me?
- I told ya I was coming
home for Christmas.
- Mm hmm.
I should kick your ass
for sneaking up on me.
- What?
Thought you liked
games like that.
And besides, I had to make sure
I wasn't being followed.
It was kinda risky considering
your ex carries a gun.
- Fuck that.
- What?
- You hear that?
It's the oven timer.
- Okay.
- Dinner's ready.
- And?
- You don't feel like eating?
- My mind's kind of on
other things right now.
- First rule of survival?
You gotta eat.
- [Boyfriend] Well shit.
(coyotes howling)
(crickets chirp)
(crickets chirp)
- Oh.
Oh, it's on.
You hear that, Roger?
- Oh yeah.
- Got the night vision camera?
- Right here, man.
- What about that
heat-sensin' thingamajig?
- That's a big
ten-four, ole buddy.
Isn't that a .50 cal?
- Yes it is, man.
- That's a lot of firin' power.
- Should be enough, man.
- Enough for what?
- Man, what do you
mean "for what?"
We gotta take that
son of a bitch down.
- Well, wait, wait,
you mean kill him?
That's the plan?
- Yeah, that's
always been the plan.
Don't tell me you have
a problem with that now.
- Well,
shit, I'don't know, maybe.
- Come on.
- He could be the
last of his kind
in the whole dang
world for all we know.
- Come on, man.
What are you, fuckin'
Greenpeace now?
- No, I just,
shootin' somethin'
that's one of a kind
just don't seem right.
- It don't seem right?
Well obviously you ain't
never heard of Darwin,
you know, natural
selection and shit.
- Did he used to
drive that blue Chevy?
- What, man?
Darwin was like 1,000 years ago
or somethin', man.
Talked about survival
of the fittest.
So the way I see
it is if this thing
really is just runnin'
around out there,
last of its kind,
shit, man,
we're just takin' our part
in the natural
selection of things.
- I don't know.
- Look at it like
this then, okay?
What if he is out
there and, you know,
we find him,
what are we gonna do then, man?
- Well, I,
we'll be the famous as shit boys
who found Bigfoot.
- Man, not if we
can't prove it, man.
We'll end up just goin' home,
same laughingstock
we are right now.
- We're a laughingstock?
- Come on, Terry, what?
How can you be so
disconnected, man?
- Well, I, I--
- You don't hear
all that laughter?
All them murmurin' people
do underneath their breath
when you walk by?
- Guess I never noticed.
- Yeah, well I do.
And everybody thinks it, man.
- Thinks what?
- Man, they think, "Here
come Roger and Terry, man.
"Two guys who are
gonna find Bigfoot.
"Couple of fuckin' screws
loose in their head," they say.
- I never knew.
But, hey, we got a camera.
We got a heat-sensin'
They're gonna have
to believe us.
- Man, nobody's gonna have
to believe anything, man.
That's not gonna be good enough.
Not even close.
All right?
We got no options.
No matter which way
you look at it, man,
this boy's goin' down.
- All right, so
what you're sayin'
is it's him or us.
- Yeah.
- Well, fuck it.
Guess you're right.
- No, man, I am right.
Now let's go.
(engine rumbles)
(crickets chirp)
(owl hoots)
- Merry Christmas, baby.
- Merry Christmas to you.
(crickets chirp)
- [Dale] You know, you
don't have to do that, Will.
- [Will] It's no problem.
- You're a good man.
- [Will] What is that stuff?
- Well now, this
is Mr. Dale Henderson's
personal reserve.
- Moonshine?
(Dale chuckles)
Why not?
- Good answer.
(glasses clink)
- Oh God.
- Makes the hair on your
balls stand up, doesn't it?
- I'll say.
Wow. (coughs)
- Want another one?
- Absolutely.
- Still can't get
signal out here.
- Honey, give that thing a rest.
(Troy sighs)
- Oh, oh, oh shit.
- What the hell?
(Troy giggles)
- Troy, what are you doing?
- He was filming me again.
- Go to bed, Troy.
(Troy chuckles)
(Troy sighs)
- You're kidding, right?
The pet rock.
You're sleepin' with it now?
- Leave me alone.
(Troy chuckles)
- Whatever.
You know, your
sister's pretty hot.
- She's your cousin.
- So?
It's legal in some places.
Got a signal, finally!
- Now if you only
had someone to call.
- Shut up.
(crickets chirp)
- [Roger] Wow, man.
- [Terry] What?
- Keep it down.
- You talked first!
- [Roger] Shh, Terry,
keep it down, man.
- Dagnabbit, what?
- He's out here, man.
I can feel it.
- I don't feel nothin',
I don't feel shit.
- No, man.
He's definitely been out here.
Matter of fact,
he's still here.
You can bet on it.
Oh, man, do you see that?
(dramatic instrumental music)
- No!
- [Roger] Right there
in them bushes, man.
A dead man coulda seen that.
- God damn it, wait for me!
(gun fires)
- Damn, man.
It's a rabbit, man.
- That's you, Rog,
that's Peter Cottontail.
- Fuck, man.
- Oh God, oh you should,
you shoulda seen your face.
Oh goddamn, your
brow all gruesome,
lookin' mean as a rattlesnake.
"He, he's here, Terry.
"I, I got him."
Oh goddamn, what
a hoot. (laughs)
- Ha, ha, Terry, man.
Funny as always.
- Oh my God!
Oh, oh, wait, wait
until I tell people.
No, no, there he was, ole Rog,
facin' down the
creature, fearless,
regular fuckin' Sylvester
Stallone he was.
Put Grizzly Adams
to shame with that.
- Have your laugh, Terry.
(distant roaring)
Swear to God, man.
You hear that, man?
- What was that?
- I don't know, man.
It sounds like it's
gettin' closer.
- Sounds like a stampede.
- Wait.
Is it gone?
(eerie instrumental music)
- I'm not likin' this.
- Me neither, man.
- I think we should
head back to the truck.
- Yeah, I'm all right with that.
(pulsing heartbeat)
- Rog?
- That was.
- Yeah it was.
- [Boyfriend] Yeah.
- I'll be right back.
- Okay, what the hell?
(suspenseful instrumental music)
Is someone there?
(suspenseful instrumental music)
(muffled roaring)
(dark instrumental music)
(crickets chirp)
- James?
(eerie, suspenseful
instrumental music)
Babe, where'd you go?
(chomping and slurping)
(dramatic instrumental music)
(gun cocks)
(gun fires)
(gun fires)
(gun fires)
(eerie instrumental music)
- Whoa.
(eerie instrumental music)
This is too weird.
- I, uh, I gotta tell
you somethin', Dale.
This, this is some
really good stuff.
- (chuckles) You
might wanna sit down
before you fall down.
- I'm okay.
- [Bonnie] Mr. Henderson!
It's Bonnie Tyler,
you gotta let me in!
- [Voiceover] The noise?
- You expectin' somebody?
- No.
- [Bonnie] Mr. Henderson,
please open the door!
Please open the door!
Mr. Henderson,
please open the door!
Please open the door!
Please let me in!
- Bonnie, are you okay.
- You gotta call 911 right now.
- What, why?
- Please just let me in!
- [Will] What's goin' on?
- Something attacked us
and now James is dead.
- Bonnie, why are you
dressed in a bathrobe?
- [Bonnie] You got a land line?
- Yeah, it's right
through the kitchen.
(Bonnie gasping)
- Damn it, pick up,
pick up, pick up.
(phone beeps)
- Two sheets, guys?
All right, I'm comin'.
(phone beeps)
South Tower 911, what
is your emergency?
- Yes, you gotta send help.
I, I'm at my neighbor's.
Um, I've been attacked
by some kind of creature,
and now my boyfriend is dead.
- Come again, ma'am?
You said a creature
killed your boyfriend?
- I fired a ton of buckshot
but it just kept coming.
- Everything okay out here?
- Okay.
And what is your name
and location, ma'am?
- [Voiceover] Bonnie Tyler.
614 North Desert Vista Drive.
- Okay, Bonnie, got it.
Now just stay on
the line with me.
- Well are you sending someone?
Call Trooper Shelling,
he's a friend of mine.
- Dad, you gotta see this.
- Not now, Tommy.
- But, Dad.
- Dale, where are you going?
- I'm gonna go out and
take a look around.
- I'll come with you, Dale.
- No, sweetie, I don't
think that's the best idea.
- It's okay, Amber.
I'll make sure he
doesn't get killed.
- You be careful
yourself out there, Dale.
- Well wait for me.
- Why?
- [David] So I can
stop you from shooting
the first thing that moves.
(gun cocks)
- 111, this is dispatch.
You got your ears on?
- This is 111, go for, dispatch.
- Hey, Dan, I got
a weird one for ya.
- What's that?
- Woman claims her
boyfriend was attacked
by some kind of
creature or somethin',
animal of some kind I guess.
- Okay, have you called
in search and rescue?
- Not yet.
Could be a crank.
Thought you might wanna
check it out for yourself
before I call in the cavalry.
- Okay, ten-four.
Hey, what's the 20?
- Uh,
614 North Desert Vista Drive.
- Wait, that, that's
Bonnie Tyler's place.
- Yeah.
She said she was
a friend of yours.
- Okay, ten-four,
stand by, dispatch,
I'm on my way.
(siren wails)
(crunching footsteps)
(eerie instrumental music)
- Shine that light over there.
- You see something?
- (sighs) No.
I can't see or
hear a damn thing.
- That's good, right?
- No, it's like somethin'
scared everything off
of this damn mountain.
- Hey, Dale, I think we
should go back to the house.
- Yeah, Dad, I'm with
Will on this one.
- Did you hear that?
(dramatic instrumental music)
(heartbeat pulses)
(suspenseful instrumental music)
I got somethin'.
- [David] What is that?
(eerie instrumental music)
- Is that cow tracks?
- Have you ever seen a
damned two-legged cow?
- [Will] All right, this
is gettin' really spooky.
We need to go back to the house.
- [Dale] Yeah, I
think you're right.
(suspenseful instrumental music)
(suspenseful instrumental music)
- The house is this way.
(suspenseful instrumental music)
(exciting instrumental music)
(fleshy squishing)
Oh God!
(exciting instrumental music)
(gun clicks)
(exciting instrumental music)
(fleshy thunk)
(intestines splatter)
(dramatic instrumental music)
- [Fiona] Mom, what's going on?
- Uh, we don't quite
know yet, sweetheart.
- Who's she?
And where's Daddy?
(door slams)
(David gasping)
- We gotta get outta here!
- Where's Will and your father?
- They, they're gone, Mom.
- What, what does that
mean, "they're gone"?
- Look, we gotta get
everybody in the cars
and get out of here.
- No, David, hold on!
Where is my husband?
- Everyone, please.
- Where is Will?
- They're dead!
Both of them ripped to shreds
by whatever that is out there!
- What?
No, no way.
- I'm on the phone
with the police.
- That's great, but trust me,
we don't wanna stay here.
- We're safer here
than we are out there.
- And we'd be safer still
going 100 miles an hour
away from this place, come on!
- I am not leaving here
without your father.
- Me neither.
- Dad is dead!
Okay, Mom?
Him and Will both!
- I'll get Troy.
- [Grandma] Get out
of the way, David.
- What are you doing?
- Get out of my way, David.
- No.
What is your name?
- [Bonnie] Bonnie.
- Bonnie, you saw this thing.
Will you please tell
my mother and sister
how bad an idea it is to go
lookin' around out there?
- He's right.
If he saw the same
thing that attacked us,
it's too late.
- Hello?
Are you still there?
- Yeah, I'm here, um,
but two other people
have gone missing.
- I heard a lot of shouting.
Make sure everyone
stays in the house.
Secure all your
doors and windows,
but don't leave.
Help is on the way.
- I'll try.
- I gotta find Daddy.
- Move!
- [David] Mom! Tommy!
Amber, Fiona, get over here!
(siren wails)
(crickets chirp)
(dark instrumental music)
- 111 requestin' back-up.
We're gonna need a
cadaver unit out here.
(crickets chirp)
- Dale!
- Will?
- Dad?
We've gotta find Daddy.
- Tommy, come back here!
- Dale, where are you?
(phone chatters)
- Hey.
(phone chatters)
- The fuck, Dad?
- Unbelievable.
Are you this disconnected
from reality?
All hell is breaking
loose out there
and you're playing
your stupid game!
- Whatever.
- Move!
- All right, enough
with the yelling.
- Car's leavin' in 30 seconds
and you're gonna be in it.
- [Troy] Shit!
(eerie instrumental music)
- Amber!
(ominous instrumental music)
(thudding footsteps)
(fleshy thunk)
- These are mine but I
think they'll fit you.
- Thank you.
- Okay, baby, go get your stuff.
We'll leave, okay?
- [Viv] 'Kay.
- Fiona, you're gonna
come with us, okay?
- The police want
us to stay here.
- Well that's because
they have no idea
what they're dealing with.
Do they?
- Fuck it.
We're leaving.
- No, ma'am,
do not leave the premises.
I have to insist ya
stay on the line.
(phone beeps)
(dial tone drones)
- Fuck, where's Troy?
- Comin'.
- Dad, Grandpa?
- Tommy, you stay close to me!
(dramatic instrumental flourish)
- What is that?
(dark instrumental music)
- No, Tommy!
- Dad?
- We have to go.
- Mom?
- Run, Tommy, run! (weeping)
- Mom!
Where's your grandma
and your mom?
- Okay, buddy, you come with us.
- Where's Mom and Grandma?
- That all you guys?
- [Fiona] Yeah.
- Now we gotta use
gas guzzlers again.
(engine cranks)
(tires crunch)
(tires screech)
(engine rumbles)
- Slow down, you're
going too fast.
(exciting instrumental music)
(engine rumbles)
- Honey, please!
- Slow down before
you kill all of us!
- Shut up, shut up, shut up!
- Don't you tell me to shut up.
- You're distractin' me!
(engine rumbles)
Keep it up and I guarantee you
we're gonna have an accident!
- Look out!
(tires squeal)
(shattering crash)
- Everyone okay?
- No, Dad.
- Everyone alive at least?
It's on foot from here I guess.
- Great plan, Uncle Dave.
- You got a better one, Fiona?
How far is it to town from here?
- The fastest way'll
be through the desert.
Let's go, go.
- Viv.
(ominous instrumental music)
Oh my God.
- Mom?
- [David] No, no, no.
(melancholic instrumental music)
- [Troy] You killed her.
You fucking freak,
you killed her!
You killed my mother.
(fleshy smack)
- Hey, Troy!
- Come on, man.
- [Troy] Get your damn
hands off me, lady!
- Son, please,
I'm so sorry.
(melancholic instrumental music)
- We gotta go.
That thing's still out there.
- Too late, he's already here.
- Okay, Mister, time
to snap out of it.
Let's go.
- No, you go, get
the kids to safety.
- Mister, there is brave,
and there's stupid.
Let's go.
- Go!
(kids shout)
(suspenseful instrumental music)
(pulsing heartbeat)
(David shouts)
(dramatic instrumental music)
(tires crunch)
- [Dan] State police!
State police, I'm coming in!
State police!
State police, come out
with your hands up.
111 to dispatch.
- Go ahead.
- This place is deserted.
There's nobody here.
- Yeah, the woman hung up on me.
How do you wanna proceed?
- Uh, right now
I'm not too sure.
Any word on my back-up
and that cadaver unit?
- I've called everyone,
from the Forest Service
to the Country Sheriff.
Word's gone out but
all they'll tell me
is they're en route.
- You gotta be kiddin' me.
- It's Christmas Eve, Dan.
What do you want me to say?
- Look, just, just
keep me posted, okay?
- Be careful out there, Dan.
Somethin' strange is goin' on.
(crickets chirp)
(crunching footsteps)
(Troy gasping)
- [Tommy] Come on,
Troy, hurry up.
- Eat me.
- The monster'll do that for me
if you don't hurry up.
- If you lose that
backpack, we'll move faster.
- Yeah, what's in there anyways?
- Don't worry about it.
- Come on, guys,
we're almost at Old
Man Coop's place.
From there, we can catch
a ride back into town.
Tommy, help him.
- Come on.
- I don't need your
help, half-pint.
- Come on, let's move,
come on, come on!
(dog barking)
(fence rattles)
Hey, Coop, you home?
It's Bonnie.
Hey, Coop.
- Bonnie, what the hell are
you doin' out here, girl?
- I'd tell ya, but I don't think
you'd believe us.
- Friends of yours?
- Listen, we need
to get into town.
You still got that old
beater truck of yours?
- She don't run.
Hasn't since last winter
when her engine froze up on me.
- Well that's just wonderful.
- Well, come on in.
- Go ahead, go.
Go, move!
- [Coop] The place is
a bit cramped but, uh,
do your best to make
yourselves to home.
- We really can't stay,
there's somethin' after us.
- There's an evil moon
in the sky tonight.
I've seen this once before.
- [Bonnie] When?
- I was a young
man, just about, uh,
the age of this feller.
I'd taken up with a gang
of treasure hunters.
(discordant rumblings)
Our leader was a fella
named Clay Olson.
And he met this German
that claimed to know
the location of the
Klaus Younger loot.
- Who's Klaus Younger?
- Klaus and Younger were
a pair of Hessian outlaws,
said to be the deadliest
pistols of their day.
They robbed every bank,
stage, train, and pay house
from here to Santa Fe.
So you can imagine
our excitement
when we thought we'd
found their stash.
- Did you find it?
- [Coop] Yeah,
but let's just say
it wasn't what we expected.
- This is it, Clayton, payday.
- [Clayton] What the hell?
- Looks like laundry.
- [Clayton] Wait,
I feel somethin'.
- [Coop] Looked like a bust.
All we found was this
slick black stone
about the size of a football.
- Wait, you, you
mean like, like this?
- My rock.
- Where'd ya get that?
- I found it this
afternoon at the creek
by my granddad's house.
- Well that's the one,
and that's why the
Krampus is chasin' you.
- The Krampus?
- All these years, the
Krampus has laid in wait.
Now, somehow, one of
y'all's waken him.
- Christ, Coop, this
is crazy, even for you.
- I don't get it.
How can a stupid
rock cause all this?
- 'Cause it ain't
no ordinary rock.
- What's that?
- I searched high
and low to find this.
I spent a whole lotta time.
I knew for sure that one
day it'd come in real handy.
Ah, here we are.
Well now, that there is what's
called the summonin' stone.
In ancient times, it was used
to bring evil spirits
into the world.
Trouble is, very few learned how
to control the
creature once summoned.
Legend says Cleopatra was one.
St. Nicholas the other.
- Santa?
- Don't tell me you
believe in Santa Claus.
- No, every legend's
based on a shred of truth.
- Does this book tell
us how to control him?
Like St. Nicholas?
- No, but it does tell
us how to stop him.
- Great, how?
- Well here you
have your elements.
Earth, fire, and water.
Now it's fire that awakens him.
One mere spark hits the stone,
then it brings
the curse to life.
- But how do we
reverse the curse?
- Well, he must be returned
to the Netherworld.
Buried under stone and earth.
Once his thirst for
blood is quenched,
he'll return himself, as
he did all those years ago.
But since he's still chasin' ya,
it's clear that he's
not finished yet.
- So,
so we have to bury him then.
Great idea.
Anyone got a shovel?
- Just a stone's throw from here
is the entrance to
the Vulture Mine.
It was closed back in the 1880's
when the diggers
hit the water table.
- This is really crazy.
- How are we supposed to
get him to go in there?
- Well, that's the easy part.
The Krampus is
drawn to the stone.
If we bring that with
us into the mine,
and, rest assured, he'll follow.
We'll bring him close,
we light the fuse,
and run like hell,
and we bring the whole
mountain down on him.
- Light the fuse?
- Yeah, dynamite.
- No, no, this is the dumbest
thing I've ever heard.
Coop, our best bet
is to get to town
and get some help.
- What kind of help you
reckon you'll find there?
Bullets won't kill him.
Hell, an A-bomb won't.
Now you're the folks
that's woken him up.
And that's who he's after.
So even if you make it to town,
a lot of good people
are gonna die.
- Then we have to stop him.
- Well I've studied the
Krampus all my life,
and I know that the
only way to stop him
after he's awoken
is to send him back
to the depths of hell.
People said I was crazy,
but I knew that
one day he'd awaken
and come back to
finish what he started.
And, at long last,
that time is here.
- What in the hell?
(ominous instrumental music)
- It only glows like
that when he's close.
It's time to move!
All right, let's go.
- [Bonnie] I still
don't like this, Coop!
(eerie instrumental music)
(coyotes howling)
(crunching footsteps)
- All right, this is it.
Stay close.
- [Bonnie] It's okay, go ahead.
(dark, suspenseful music)
- I can't.
Fuck this, I need a break.
- Here, I can hold it.
- [Troy] Get away!
- Hey, come on.
- Fuck off.
- Fine, come on, Tommy.
Fiona, keep movin'.
(crunching footsteps)
- Fran, back-up, now!
- This here is the spot.
Now let us plant
us some dynamite.
(wind moans)
(lighter clicks)
(crunching footsteps)
- [Troy] Fuck!
(exciting instrumental music)
- Well that should do it.
Blow this here pillar
and the whole dang cave
should come down.
- What, you're gonna
blow this place up
with us in here?
- Well I'm gonna blow it,
but by the time the fuses go,
we'll be home free.
- Sure about that, Coop?
(exciting instrumental music)
- [Troy] He's coming.
- Bonnie, go on and
get 'em outta here, go.
- Run.
- That's the best way, go!
- [Bonnie] Go!
(exciting instrumental music)
- Aha!
- [Bonnie] Run, run,
run, run, go, go, go!
(exciting instrumental music)
- I'll see you in hell, demon.
(flame crackles)
(shattering boom)
(birds caw)
(dramatic instrumental music)
- I'll be damned.
Call for back-up.
Are you guys okay?
- Merry Christmas, Dan.
- Is there anybody
else out there?
- Troy.
- Okay, all right,
come on, come on, guys,
let's go, come on, come on.
111 to dispatch, I
have 'em, they're safe.
Send a second unit.
Come on, guys.
Come on.
(dramatic instrumental music)
(birds tweet)
(birds caw)
- Fuck.
(birds caw)
The fuck?
(birds caw)
(Troy gasps)
(exciting instrumental music)
(crunchy squishing)
(dark instrumental music)
(thrilling instrumental music)