Kubi (2023) Movie Script

Osaka, autumn, 1579.
Retainer Araki Murashige's rebellion
against Oda Nobunaga's campaign
to unify japan has lasted
one year and three long months.
Murashige asked for support from
other warlords opposed to Nobunaga,
including Mouri Terumoto,
ruler of the Chugoku region.
Reinforcements are on the way!
Araki Murashige
Wipe out these Owari bastards!
But the reinforcements never arrived.
Don't run away!
Don't run away!
Don't you run away!
Don't run away!
Don't run away!
After the castle fell,
Murashige disappeared.
Hashiba Hideyoshi
Akechi Mitsuhide
Niwa Nagahide
Takigawa Kazumasu
His Lordship approaches!
Oda Nobunaga
Oda Nobutada Oda Nobunaga Mori Ranmaru
Monkey and Balding,
Bug-eyes and Prodigy,
the gang's all here,
but not a peep out of any of you.
I was having fun hawking,
but you screwed it up.
A scolding in your dialect
makes the blood run cold.
We beat 'em this time,
but we only took back our territory,
didn't add any.
Your soldiers are
slobs and slowpokes.
And you'all let the main man,
Murashige, get away!
I'll track down Murashige,
and catch him dead or alive!
It's up to me to decide
if Murashige lives or dies.
Not for you to decide, Balding,
you shitty idiot!
But still,
even you fools are better than
Nobutada and Nobutaka here.
They're my own sons, but they're
so stupid it shames me.
One generation is plenty
of the Oda Family rule.
After that, one of you'all
can take over.
I'll choose whoever works hardest
as my successor,
so work for me like
your lives depend on it!
Yes, Sir!
Got that?
A moment, Sir!
What about Murashige's clan members
that we captured?
Kill 'em all!
What the hell else?
Come to think of it, you were
friendly with Murashige, right?
Don't tell me you let him get away
out of pity?
I swear to the gods,
I would never!
Then, shut the fuck up
and behead the whole Araki clan!
But even if you catch Murashige,
don't you kill him.
You bring him to me,
no matter what.
get Monkey's help
to capture Murashige.
The rest of my idiots!
Escort me until
I'm safely out of here!
Yes, Sir!
For him to even mention a successor,
this recent battle must have taken
heavy toll on His Lordship Nobunaga.
Yes, and Murashige resisted
to the bitter end.
If Chosokabe and Mouri
had joined the rebellion,
we wouldn't be idly sitting here.
His Lordship Nobunaga
was so fond of Murashige,
can he actually kill him?
Murashige, you're not up to
seizing Mouri's clan.
This is Monkey's shrewd plan.
you strategize with me to capture
Shikoku and Koshu.
Yes, Sir.
Murashige, go to Settsu
with Nobutada.
Please wait, Sir.
I am not...
a babysitter!
How dare you?!
You talking back to me?
You've got some balls.
If you don't want to babysit,
what will you do?
If you won't let me seize Mouri,
let me lead the men
seizing Shikoku or Koshu.
I want to go wild there
to make Your Lordship happy!
An admirable offer.
But there's no part for you!
Know your place!
I am, um,
I live only for Your Lordship.
Please let me play a part.
Give me a part!
If you want to take
Mitsuhide's place so bad,
go ahead and kill Balding.
I give you permission.
You'll agree, right?
Don't tell me you're full of lies!
No, my loyalty to Your Lordship
remains pure.
Makes me suspicious.
If you truly live only for me,
your bowels should be beautiful.
Use this for "harakiri".
Murashige is a brave warrior.
You must not let him die like a dog.
So it's your turn,
you busybody!
Then, you take Murashige's place
and commit harakiri!
He is the brave warrior!
Allow me.
Second me!
Give me the creeps!
Brave warriors sucking up to each
other! What are you two up to?
You're spoiling my fun!
Playing with men's lives
for entertainment...
You idiot!
From the moment you're born,
life is one big joke!
You piss me off.
eat this sweet.
I will do so with pleasure.
You are such
a dear, dear man!
Given my peasant roots,
I find Murashige and
Lord Nobunaga's relationship
beyond understanding.
Infatuations among samurai
are certainly complicated.
But where the hell is Murashige?
Hey, wait!
Hey, that's mine!
Wait, you.
Sosori Shinzaemon
What is Master Rikyu talking about?
There's no trace of Murashige
in this broken down castle.
Hanji, Choji, find anything?
Leave it!
Look at that priest,
better he strip and bury them
than pray over them.
The priest was a warrior in disguise!
Not so fast!
This man fits the description,
no question about it.
Master Rikyu was spot on!
You've got the wrong man.
I'm not Araki Murashige!
Nobody here ever said,
"You're Master Araki."
Mosuke Tamezo
It's disgusting to massacre
an entire clan.
They're a warrior clan,
they should have more valuables.
A miserly bunch today.
Mosuke, look at that woman,
she's with a child.
Let's go, Mosuke!
Time to grab treasures!
Rikyu Residence
Sen no Rikyu
bring the item.
I plan to accomplish great deeds,
so I offered my prayers to the gods.
To be the successor?
You'll have to work hard,
if you're to succeed
Lordship Nobunaga.
The greatest goal for a warrior
is to become ruler of the land.
Isn't that right, Lord Mitsuhide?
No, I have never once dreamed
of ruling the land.
It's perfectly fine for all of you
to be inspired by
word from His Lordship,
but as long as you work
for that man,
you can never have enough heads.
Murashige's rebellion last year,
cost him dearly.
After dedicating myself to him body
and soul, I only get Settsu Province.
I refuse to follow the bastard!
the first night you held me
in your arms,
you said, "When the time comes,
we will rise up,"
Hold your tongue and withdraw.
I'll beg for your life.
If you desist now,
you can get off with exile.
Better yet, tell me
to commit harakiri.
I'll die happy
if you second me.
care for me that much...
We're enemies at war, now.
Behave accordingly.
But Lord Mitsuhide,
I hear you tried to persuade
Murashige, after he raised his army.
Lord Mitsuhide handled
that situation admirably.
I pray the fugitive is captured soon.
No doubt,
if Mitsuhide captures him
he'll be favored to succeed.
I've also heard rumors that Mitsuhide
set up Murashige to fake a rebellion.
Now, now, there's...
My clan and the Araki clan are
related by blood, that's all.
If you're repeating baseless rumors,
I hope
you're prepared to pay the price.
No, no, nothing like that.
I make a habit of washing
my neck well each morning.
I plan to keep my kimono collar clean
until it's been decided
who will rule this land.
Lord Mitsuhide, a precious package
was delivered to the inner garden.
Please, this way.
Master Rikyu,
I told you to kill the rebel leader
as soon as you found him.
Lord Mitsuhide says he will kill him.
Let us pretend we never saw him.
We will remove ourselves, so if you
want to kill him there, feel free.
Master Rikyu!
I'm sorry for the trouble, but please
deliver this gift to Kameyama Castle.
Mosuke! Hey!
They're finally here! Look,
it's Lord Hashiba's army.
What, what?
Are you serious?
Of course I am, at my age,
this is my last big gamble!
They'll steal our rice.
Hide it, hide it!
You hide something, too, Grandpa!
Look at them scurrying around.
This is why I hate peasants.
Come with me, Mosuke.
Here, take this.
All right! Move!
Gimme that!
I'll be away awhile.
Where are you going,
for awhile?!
Next time you see your husband,
he might be a warlord.
No way!
I'll be a damn Shogun!
What are you talking about?
Where are you going?
Hey, husband!
Who's going to do the farming!
Get back here!
Sir samurais, excuse us,
may we blend in?
Blend in!
Sure, come on in!
Much obliged!
Samurai sirs!
May we blend in with you?
You're welcome.
Let's have some fun!
Looks good on you.
Can you figure it out?
You pass this through here.
It looks good on you.
Um, excuse me, excuse me.
Is this really Lord Hashiba's army?
That's right.
Hey, is Hashiba important?
You jumped in without knowing?
Mosuke, you're a moron!
I'm so sorry, Sir.
Hashiba Hiyoshimaru went straight
from a peasant to a samurai chief!
Why are you wearing
the enemy's helmet?
You've been stealing stuff
from dead warriors.
Hold your places!
Hold your places!
Hey! Run! Run!
Hey! Run! Run!
The samurai chief's head.
I did it!
It's the head of the samurai chief!
With this,
I can be Hiyoshimaru, too!
I'm Hiyoshimaru!
Be happy for me, Mosuke!
I did it!
I did it!
When I become Hiyoshimaru,
you can be my number one servant,
we did it, Mosuke!
Ouch, ouch, Mosuke, that hurts...
What are you...?
I am
You're disgusting!
I just wanted,
to become a samurai!
Kindly, kill me kindly!
You're a moron, not a samurai!
According to reports, many are
starving to death, inside the castle.
Kuroda Kanbei
Stopping their food supply is working.
Mouri's men will soon be so hungry,
they'll surrender with a white flag.
Tottori Castle
He'll choose me to succeed him.
Ukita Tadaie Hachisuka Koroku
What's wrong with you two?
If you don't get it together,
Hashiba Hidenaga
my brother can't
succeed Lord Nobunaga.
If my older brother
rules like Nobunaga,
both your clans would be
crucified and massacred.
Speaking of which,
Lord Tadaie has received
vital information.
Kikkawa Motoharu plans to send
reinforcements to Tottori Castle soon.
You idiot! If you know that, you both
should fend them off and kill them!
No, only Lord Tadaie was privy
to that information.
But that's...
Next month, my brother
heads to Azuchi.
Should he take both of yours heads
as an apology to His Lordship?
I have word, Sir.
A messenger from Sakai arrived.
Send him in.
First, let's end this meeting.
I am here to deliver a message
from Master Rikyu.
Are you the performer
Rikyu keeps?
Yes, Sir! I apprenticed as a ninja
in Koga, but today,
I am Sorori Shinzaemon, soon to be
the finest performer in the land.
He's got guts!
So you perform
by singing and dancing?
No, I talk to make people laugh
and then, land a punch at the end.
I know,
you served Priest Sugitani,
who nearly shot His Lordship.
You escaped from Koga
and Rikyu rescued you.
That was then, this is now.
I shed my ninja ways for a clean life.
Actually, you're all filthy.
You're all welcome to take baths.
Yes, Sir!
Open it.
Um, "Following Hideyoshi's orders,
at Hanakuma Castle, Sorori was..."
Not out loud!
Ouch! Ouch!
You know I can't read!
Kameyama Castle
Lord Mitsuhide!
The preparations are complete!
Heaven's punishment!
Who are you?
Who's Ranmaru,
this isn't Ranmaru,
what the hell are you doing?
If you're a samurai,
bear the consequences!
Saito Toshimitsu
No, stop it,
no, stop it!
Hold your tongue!
Stop it!
Stop it!
Be prepared!
Mitsuhide! It's me!
Look at my face, it's me!
It's me, Murashige, that you love,
you can see, it's me.
Follow me.
There's a room for you.
Following your orders,
we're buying up all the rice.
I plan to resell it for three times
the price.
Three times?
You mean ten times.
Someone starving to death
will pay any price.
Oh no! You're a man!
Shut up!
I'm just a whore with a stick.
Pay me back!
Never come back, asshole!
I hear His Lordship, Murashige,
and Mitsuhide were all in love?
find out what's up
between those three.
You'll find something.
Brother, can't you wait until His
Lordship appoints you next-in-line?
I'm sick of being used
by someone else.
Well said, Brother.
you also tried to persuade Murashige
and paid for it with your leg.
And I didn't help you.
But Kanbei, listen up,
this is just the beginning,
we're going to make it.
- Even!
- Odd!
This is odd!
Winner is!
Two sixes makes even.
Hurry, place your bets!
Brother, that's the performer
we met.
You're working hard, Sorori.
Open up your right hand.
Just show it.
Your left?
You tricked me, bastard!
Cut it out!
Mind the Lord!
Loan me your sword.
stick your neck out!
My blood will dirty your sword.
Move forward.
Forgive me!
Move forward!
Just kidding.
Give him money!
My brother
says to use this money
to pay for their winning bets.
Now, everyone drink up!
Drink and party!
Brother, why not let him
work for you?
He's a former ninja, right?
I'll give him a try.
Can you trust him?
Please, wait, Sir.
Great Lord, Younger Brother,
and General.
Please somehow forgive
my earlier insolence.
If you want to apologize, perform.
Yes! And if you like it,
can we serve you, Lord Hideyoshi?
How dare you, a former ninja?!
Serving that tea ceremony priest,
Rikyu, is no fun.
I want to serve the most
ambitious man in Japan!
If I like your act.
In that case, a short one.
A certain lordship dies
and he goes to hell.
The Devil says, "Tell me what you
did when you were alive."
"Depending on that, I may spare you
from going to hell."
The Lord says, "I'm the Sixth
Demon King, who sent"
"20,000 believers of
the Jodo Shinshu Sect,"
"and 2,000 Hieizan Temple priests
to their deaths."
The Devil falls down on his knees,
and says, "Brother!
Please let me serve you."
Brother, let's keep him, right?
Yes, I agree.
But first, send him to Koga
with an offer to buy the letter,
and retain him, only if
he completes the mission.
A good plan.
You're just going to die,
If we get that letter and report
on Mitsuhide, we'll be retained.
with a big reward, right?
The man we're meeting is Kougenbo,
a boss who'll do anything for money.
People say he kills anyone
who sees his face.
That's no good, let's run away.
What's this?
Mitsuhide's men did this.
I'm glad to be rid of my wife,
my children and my father.
I want to thank Mitsuhide
for getting rid of them!
Spoken like a brave man who kills
his friends and steals heads.
Mitsuhide's men are still nearby.
Choji, Hanji, bring him back.
That was Tame,
I'm sure of it.
You either saw his ghost
or some apparition, it wasn't him.
You killed him before, right?
Hey, stop that useless praying.
What is it?
They're just some peasants.
I hope so...
Did you come here knowing this land
belongs to Kougenbo of Koga?
Don't move, Mosuke!
What happens if we know?
You'll just be killed.
Hannya Sahei
Brother Sahei?
Oh, we're saved!
Seems safe.
Gotta pee.
Hey, wait!
You can pee,
but you'll pay for it with your life.
We have brought
Sorori Shinzaemon,
former disciple
of Sugitani Zenjubo,
now dead.
A disciple of Sugitani,
who died,
trying to kill Nobunaga?
Sorry to lose a man good with rifles.
What's your talent?
I see!
Handy, talk is cheap.
Keep telling tall tales.
To the matter at hand,
His Lordship Hideyoshi
wants to buy Nobunaga's letter.
His offer is 10,000 gold coins
for the letter
plus one foreign trading ship.
Payment to be delivered
through Sen no Rikyu.
The secret letter Nobunaga
wrote to his son, Nobutada,
could turn this country
upside down once again.
I will only sell it
to wise Lord Hideyoshi.
Sorori has also been ordered
to go to Mitsuhide's Kameyama Castle.
May I escort him?
You may.
On your way back,
get the money in Saka.
What's this festival about?
It's an annual prayer festival.
They pray to die soon,
to bid this earth farewell.
This is one peculiar village.
This is one peculiar world.
Look, you missed.
What will you do?
Hand it over!
You're going to shoot him like that?
You're brutal.
The garden is soiled.
Clean it up.
If you're going that far,
why not kill the real one?
You're in love with Nobunaga,
aren't you?
I put up with him to rule next,
no matter how badly he treats me.
Look at you,
you've done whatever it takes
to please His Lordship.
And for all your efforts...
For all my efforts, what?
For all my efforts, what?
I've put up with him for a long time,
to succeed.
A long time.
But for all my efforts,
my entire clan is massacred.
You have no idea how
nerve-wracking it is
to shelter a rebel leader
who sits around
drinking sake and tea.
I know.
Don't bully me.
I'm grateful to you
with all my heart.
I love you
with all my heart.
Something's bothering me.
His Lordship plans to look for you,
all the way to hell and back.
As the man he put in charge
of finding you...
You do have a problem.
Don't laugh, you're the one
causing my torment.
Unless you find me,
the rumors that you planned
the rebellion I started
might be true?
What should I do?
To distract him,
why not report that I've escaped
into Ieyasu's camp?
Nobunaga's successor will be
either you,
or Ieyasu.
It would eliminate one of them.
Ieyasu's intentions are
impossible to read.
Eliminate Nobunaga, too.
And relax with your
romantic rival gone?
Don't be stupid.
Toshimitsu! Track them down and
find out who they spy for!
It couldn't be for Nobunaga.
Chase him.
Kyoto Martial Horse Parade
That's Lord Mitsuhide,
what a handsome face he has.
A good-looking man.
That's Lord Oda.
Hideyoshi isn't part of
this procession?
After all, he's the Monkey,
formerly a peasant.
Are we going the right way?
I know this area like my backyard.
I am sick of the capital.
Can't you sell that letter
to someone around here?
Who would buy it! If anyone discovers
who it's from, we're dead men.
Now, it's time to run.
On Akechi Mitsuhide's orders.
You're under arrest!
You're from Koga,
Hannya Sahei.
You're a dead man
if you betray Mitsuhide.
Whether we live or die
depends on who pays what.
Pardoned betrayals
is the way of the world.
Sorori! I've got this.
Get the hell outta here.
Someday I'll pay you back.
You were alive!
You're one tough son of a bitch.
"After I am gone, you..."
By "you," he's addressing
his son, Nobutada.
"I wish for you, Nobutada
to unify the nation by force."
"Nagahide's mysterious mask,"
"Kazumasa's demon mask,"
"Mitsuhide, the Balding,"
"the Raccoon, Ieyasu,"
"and the Monkey, Hideyoshi."
"Consider them,"
"and their heads,
all yours to do as wish."
"Be prepared to start by killing
the devious Mitsuhide,"
"and Ieyasu."
"As for the ape, lure him
with the promise of land,"
"but when he defies you,
it's vital to kill him without delay."
Don't be depressed, just because
he calls you monkey and ape.
You fool!
I'm furious!
Of course you are.
Promising he'll appoint whoever
works hardest as his successor,
was just a pack of lies!
Turns out His Lordship is just
another outlaw, bluffing.
Goddamn that bastard Nobunaga!
Kanbei, do something!
Yes, Sir.
Hey, and what was Mitsuhide up to?
They schemed to trap Ieyasu
while secretly sleeping together.
I see...
With your report and that letter,
we can...
Lord Hideyoshi,
will you leave this up to me?
I don't care what you do,
deal with it!
Yes, Sir.
Goddamn bastard Nobunaga!
Are you OK, Brother?
Hot, dammit!
Azuchi Castle
Feel good, Ranmaru?
You're developing a taste
for the way of the samurai.
Your turn.
Relax my body.
Yes, Sir.
Are you jealous of Ranmaru?
Shit! Asshole!
Oh, God!
look at me!
Is your report that Murashige escaped
from Omi to Mino and into Sunpu,
where Ieyasu is, the truth?
It is, but there are only eye witness
reports, no capture.
Ieyasu will kill Murashige
to shut him up.
It was Ieyasu who put Murashige
up to his rebellion.
kill that Raccoon, Ieyasu.
If it goes well,
I'll choose you as successor.
Long time no see, Monkey!
You're starting to look
like an old man!
Mouri's beating the shit out of you.
If you're going to give up,
now's the time.
He's a monkey,
acting like a samurai.
Yasuke here
says you're a monkey.
His Lordship intends to seize
Mouri himself.
He's even offering to leave you
in charge of Azuchi while he's away.
There is no need for that.
As soon as I return,
I'll make quick work of Mouri.
So even you want to be my successor,
and work hard for me?
So, you'all!
It's about time for the Monkey
to make us all laugh, right?
Lord Hideyoshi is tired
from his travels.
Shut the fuck up!
let's you and I make a bet.
This foreigner, Yasuke, has places
on his body that are white.
Know where? Guess.
The palms of his hands,
the soles of his feet,
and his teeth?
No smarter than a monkey!
As punishment, you have one year
to conquer Mouri.
If you can't, I'll have
that shriveled head of yours.
If you give me one year,
I can conquer all the clans
as far south as Kyushu.
Please, wait!
Under current conditions, it'll take
over a year to conquer Mouri.
Please order my army
as reinforcements.
We're all here
for some entertainment!
Kick him out!
Keep throwing him.
You Preachy Priest!
Look at this panorama!
I refuse to leave it to you
as you are now!
Fall in love with me for real.
And I'll happily leave
all this to you.
Got it?
Thank you for your kind invitation.
All eyes would be upon us
during daylight hours.
He gave you a real beating.
It's his way of showing love.
It's nothing.
We wish to discuss
Lord Murashige.
You have him,
in your castle, right?
Don't tell me,
you were the one
who sent spies
to my Kameyama castle?
Lord Hideyoshi sent his ninja
out of his concern for you.
We ask your pardon.
I was certain His Lordship or
Lord Ieyasu sent them.
I caused your men some trouble.
Ninja can easily be replaced.
I see,
you're a wise man.
Lord Mitsuhide,
we have your interests at heart.
You can't trust Lord Murashige.
The plot to get rid of Ieyasu
cannot possibly be
Your Lordship's idea.
Why don't you just kill Murashige?
No, to me, Murashige is...
In that case,
how about His Lordship?
As a samurai,
I plan to live my life
by staying true to my loyalties.
When you read His Lordship's
true intentions,
your loyalties will vanish.
"After I am gone, I wish for you
to unify the nation by force."
"Be prepared to start by killing"
"the devious Mitsuhide and Ieyasu."
"As for the ape, lure him
with the promise of land,"
"but when he defies you,
it's vital to kill him without delay."
I have served him, believing him
to be an otherworldly demon,
but to hand over
his rule to that son of his...
Turns out he's just like
every other human being.
I've put up with his beatings
for nothing!
Even though you should be
his rightful heir.
If he's backing his stupid son, the
end is in sight for His Lordship.
If you're prepared to take his place,
Lord Hideyoshi will support you.
Is that old Raccoon really here?
Brother! Ieyasu is nearby,
he'll hear you.
Too bad if he does!
So far...
Too far!
I can't help that.
Tokugawa Ieyasu
Oh, my,
Lord Hideyoshi.
What brings you here?
Taking the long way to Sakai?
My brother is here to
personally warn you
that an assassin is being
sent to kill you.
Who would want to kill me?
His Lordship.
He suspects you of hiding Araki
Murashige, in Sunpu.
His Lordship
has lost his mind.
I had long thought
that he wasn't right in his mind,
but if he's that far gone,
I can't keep up.
Lord Hideyoshi wishes to support you,
Lord Ieyasu,
however secretly.
Lord Ieyasu!
Just once, let me rule this land!
I'm begging you.
If not,
I'll settle for half.
I'm at a loss.
Please raise your head.
Lord Ieyasu, my brother will even
be your sandal bearer!
Here, here, here!
I bow before you.
There's no need for that.
I understand.
It is yours.
Happy now?
Now, now, get up.
Calm down, Brother.
What the hell?!
I made a fool of myself!
What a fucking joke!
Why did I have to hold
that Raccoon's sandals?
I tried to stop you, but you raced
over there to suck up to Ieyasu.
Let that Raccoon die!
Why keep him alive?
If we stop Lord Ieyasu's murder,
His Lordship will rage at Mitsuhide.
Mitsuhide and Murashige
will panic and screw things up.
Please leave this to me.
Is that true?
Kanbei says so, so it's true.
You handed his sandals to me because
you follow whatever Kanbei says!
You told me to bow down to him.
You did the same sandals trick
with His Lordship.
But I did it for a Raccoon!
And then, you even
shoved my head down!
I never went that far!
You grabbed my collar.
Didn't he?
He did, yes, he did.
We both bowed our heads, right?
How dare you?!
I order you both to commit harakiri!
Harakiri is going too far, Brother!
Takatenjin Castle.
Here we go.
Are you the bodyguards
Lord Hideyoshi sent?
Hattori Hanzo Honda Tadakatsu
We never asked you,
but you just showed up.
We have our orders.
From the looks of you,
you're all ex-ninja.
He sent some weirdos.
Send them home?
Well, they came all this way.
Stay and play for a few days.
Show 'em around, Hanzo.
Thank you so much.
Hurry up!
What are you doing?
Look at them.
They sure do smell good.
They say Lord Ieyasu
prefers ugly women,
but I wonder which he'll pick.
Wish he'd send the leftovers
our way.
What the hell are you doing?!
Your Lord, they are
all assembled.
bow down, all of you.
Which girl would you like today?
How about this one?
Then, how about this one?
It's her first time.
In that case, how about her?
She's good in bed.
Behind her.
Behind her?
What, me?
My name is Matsu.
Your Lord.
You must be tired.
Shall I massage you?
Your Lord?
You're a bitch of a witch.
Who sent you?
Female ninja won't talk?
Lord Nobunaga must have
sent her.
A woman, too bad she had to die.
But you did a great job, Hanzo.
You saved my life.
No, all the credit goes to Sorori,
behind you.
He saw the women
and informed me.
I'm impressed.
I see why Lord Hideyoshi sent you.
Sorori whoever you are,
I'm in your care.
Takeda had it coming...
Hey, clean this up.
Bring the next one!
I hear you screwed up
bringing down Ieyasu.
My humble apologies.
A body double, huh?
Cheap trick.
That's why they call him
the Raccoon.
I have word, Sir.
Takeda's men
are attacking from
the Torii Pass.
Take him away.
Tadakatsu, any more doubles?
that's all for today.
Maybe I'll sit.
I am the general.
Oh, no, no, please,
that's too dangerous.
What are Ieyasu's
favorite things?
He likes ugly women
and snapper.
All right, then.
I have a plan for you.
If you manage to catch
the Raccoon with a snapper,
you can spend a night with me.
Chausuyama Castle
Don't hold back!
Let's party hearty today!
Lord Ieyasu.
It was Ieyasu who defeated
Takeda's army.
His Lordship is celebrating
with salt-baked snapper.
The area from Koshu to Sunpu
is yours, Lord Ieyasu.
Perhaps you'll succeed His Lordship?
No, no.
As long as Mikawa is mine,
I don't need to rule
the land.
Lord Ieyasu, how does it taste?
Words can hardly describe
how delicious it is.
Please move to the Ninomaru Room
for the Merit Rewards announcements.
You fucking idiot!
Forget the poison?
That is impossible!
Hey, steward!
Taste that snapper.
It's delicious.
What the fuck is going on,
He only pretended to eat it...
That shitty bastard!
Foreigner priest!
Want to build your temples
across the land?
Want to build your temples
across the land,
you shitty white priest?
Yes, with God's blessing
and yours, King.
Yes, King!
Behead this man!
Cut off his head!
Think of him as the devil
and kill him!
Kill him, thinking it's the devil!
I, too, have always worshipped
Your Lordship!
You idiot!
You all are idiots!
I thought you did!
You've made me so happy!
His Lordship approaches!
An addition to the Merit Rewards!
Because Akechi Mitsuhide is useless,
I strip him of Tanba,
relieve him of his rule of Kinki,
and order him to invade Shikoku
under the Monkey's command,
as has always been his wish.
Now, now, time to party hearty!
Yes, Sir.
Tell Rikyu to host a tea ceremony
at Honnoji Temple.
And invite merchants from Sakai
and Ieyasu, too.
Pretend you're setting off
with reinforcements,
and attack Ieyasu.
You send the Raccoon
to his death,
this land will be
yours and mine to rule.
What the fuck is,
"I always worshipped you"?!
Even if it's a lie,
I'm jealous.
I'm sorry,
it slipped out,
as I clung to life...
You weren't
speaking the truth?
I only live for you.
You doubt me?
Forget it.
you're the only one who can
mobilize an army
in the capital, right?
If you attack Honnoji Temple
with all your men,
this land is ours.
only wants you to bait you
as his successor.
But the bait is fake.
Let's kill Nobunaga.
The Monkey in the West
is your ally.
Find the courage!
Is this...
Is this Heaven's will?
You're shaking?
There, there.
Bicchu Takamatsu
What a racket!
What are you up to?
Lord Hideyoshi said to race around
the battlefield.
To fill the hood on my back with
wind, because it's great body armor.
On horseback?
I hoped so, but Kanbei says I need
ten more years to ride a horse.
You need to do something
about your blackened teeth.
Don't laugh, it's revolting.
Charge more!
That idiot!
He fell.
What is this thing?!
Who gave it to me?
Lord Hideyoshi,
Lord Hideyoshi.
Shall we send 2,000 men
on an attack?
Kanbei, Sir, such an attack
would be wasted.
Hey! Attack with all we've got!
Hey, Koroku,
you lead the attack!
Me, lead?
That's right!
No, Lord Tadaie should go first!
No, my men's morale is low.
Fool! If you love your men so much,
you lead the charge!
My brother is waiting for the enemy
to run out of ammunition.
Use your brain,
you're a samurai.
You idiot!
Withdraw! Withdraw!
I have a great idea.
I won't waste this.
What's he doing beheading
one of his own men?
The head of the enemy!
I, Naniwa Mosuke,
beheaded the enemy's
samurai general!
Everyone, to your places.
Lord Mitsuhide sent word,
"There will be a tea ceremony"
"at Honnoji, around the first day
of next month."
"See you there."
Can Mitsuhide pull it off?
I'm worried about that.
What do you say to having
Sorori keep watch?
He's a former ninja.
But he's a crafty one,
if there's prize money,
he'll do just fine.
Word of
the entertainment at Kiyomizu
Temple the other day,
has even reached Azuchi.
Time to make a deal with Mouri, too.
Hurry to inform the priest, Ankokuji.
Oh, and what to do about Ieyasu?
To make him our ally,
let him escape to Sunpu.
Rikyu, can you handle that?
Bring Sorori.
And in the end, the fires
burned the whole village down.
So, a story about a younger brother
avenging his older brother.
Now, now, anyone who laughed,
throw me some coins!
Hey, Mosuke! If you drink so much,
how can you make your name in battle?
You can barely walk.
Look! It's Tame!
Where?! Where?
You're drinking 'cause
you're scared of his ghost?
Shut the fuck up!
we need you to visit His Lordship
and see how he's feeling.
And also, if possible,
see what he's up to.
Something smells fishy.
Keep your mouth shut and do
as you're told, you'll be fine.
This will protect you.
Watch him like a hawk until His
Lordship tells you to go home.
Here's your prize money advance.
Lord Hideyoshi,
I'm envious you can become ruler
while Kanbei and Rikyu do the work.
When I become ruler,
I'll make them all disappear.
What? For real?
And you, too.
Your jokes will be the death of me.
What a shock.
Hurry! You're just blocking
the water!
This is the water attack?
More like rice planting!
Sir Kanbei
says it's just like flooding a rice
field, but is that really true?
Place your bets!
Lord Hidenaga,
are you cheating?
Hey, hey!
Is it really going to flood?
Just a little while longer.
Brother, it's raining so hard,
just two more days.
Two more days?!
That's too late!
All of you! Scoop up all that water
and pour it over there!
Hurry, go!
Damn you!
- You go, too!
- Huh?
You pour water, too!
Are you sure it will flood?
It will, there's no doubt.
- This rain?
- Yes.
So it's you! The performer
and the Monkey's pet.
I hear you talk and make people laugh.
What stories do you tell?
The tale about how Lord Nobunaga,
the Sixth Demon King,
makes the Devil beg, "Brother,
please let me serve you."
I'd love to hear you tell it,
but right now, I'm busy with
an important tea ceremony.
When I'm done, make me laugh
so hard I die.
reserve a room in the capital
for the performer.
Please hurry and prepare,
Your Lordship.
Yeah, don't forget
the tea ceremony utensils.
How many escort soldiers?
Don't need none!
They'll scare the Raccoon.
if you make me laugh, I'll tell
Monkey that you'll serve me.
Battle orders to Mitsuhide!
Tell him to attack
Ieyasu's residence!
Honnoji Temple
That's the legendary tea caddy.
Sure wish it was mine.
And the other famous caddy, too.
Please follow Mamiya.
Tadakatsu, where are the others?
Most of them have left the residence,
leaving a body double behind.
I see.
Now, let's escape.
We bring unwanted attention.
We will guard you
from a distance.
To murder every human being
in this world in a bloodbath.
And in the end,
to have your own head cut off
would feel cleansing.
To battle!
The time is upon us.
Thank you for everything.
Let's pray for victory.
Wait a minute.
What's this?
His Lordship is not
so foolish as to keep
a smooth talker like you
by his side.
I see, you and Mitsuhide...
Hey, Mitsuhide, you let him
feed you a pack of lies!
You nothing!
Shut your filthy mouth!
Tell me, what the hell do
you like about this jerk?!
What about this jerk?!
Bring the box.
Since when did you two...?
Since when?!
What's this?
What is this?
What's this?
You idiot!
Get in there!
Get in!
Hey, Mitsuhide,
what happened to the
bond between us?
Listen, Murashige,
the weight of ruling this land
far outweighs the bond
between two samurai like us.
You understand?
I don't understand that.
Open this.
Open this, please.
You'll regret this,
you'll regret it!
separate from the troops
and attack Ieyasu as planned.
We'll meet again, after
they've killed Nobunaga.
Come quick!
What is it?
Your Lordship...
Mitsuhide betrayed me!
Your Lordship...
All is lost!
I'm going to die!
I'll second you.
I'm so happy!
Hurry up!
Hey, Yasuke.
I'll second you, too.
You yellow piece of shit!
Your Lordship.
Oda Nobutada has taken his life
at Nijo Castle.
Have you found Nobunaga's head yet?
The fires are so strong,
it's burning their bones to ashes.
Find his head! His head!
Without proof of Nobunaga's death,
my samurai duty is incomplete!
Crawl if you have to,
bring me his head!
Where's his head...?
Here, this way!
I'm always grateful.
It's my honor.
I got it!
Withdraw! Withdraw!
Get another body double, now.
Who's the real Ieyasu, tell me!
This fight must wait.
I'm gone!
He did it!
His, His Lordship...
Was killed by Lord Mitsuhide!
And how is Lord Hideyoshi?
As soon as he heard,
he considered harakiri.
His sorrow was so deep,
he has collapsed.
We have called a physician
while he rests.
Before he lay down,
my brother said,
"By enduring the unendurable
and suffering..."
"By enduring the unendurable
and suffering..."
"To honor the bonds of lord
and vassal, crush Mitsuhide."
Time to avenge His Lord!
I will crush Mitsuhide!
Even if Mouri attacks us from behind,
let us return to the capital!
Oh, right, I'll convey
my brother's strategy.
Kanbei will make peace with Mouri.
Tadaie spread false rumors along
the road that His Lordship is alive.
He thinks of everything.
Indeed, as if the plans had
been made in advance.
Time is of the essence.
Let us make haste.
Make haste!
That was risky.
Your acting was pathetic.
I'm sorry, Brother.
It was my first time.
You don't get second chances.
In any event, let's force
Shimizu Muneharu to commit harakiri.
- Sorori.
- Yes?
those two,
they're both dangerous.
You'll kill them?
You toy with people...
will the priest, Ankokuji,
honor his promise?
Who knows?
That's what I'd like to know.
The Mouri clan's precepts are
Three Arrows and here sit three of us.
I am here to make peace.
That's something parents
teach their children.
Priest Ankokuji Ekei
Shimizu Muneharu
We are strangers,
and sworn enemies.
Now, now.
Sir Kanbei was only speaking
in metaphors.
So your general, the Monkey,
what does he want?
In a word, he wants to settle this
with the castle lord's harakiri.
So then, it's not Three Arrows.
How dare you declare
one of them should break?!
I will not bow to the whims of you
newcomers, even if we all die!
In the rules of war, the surrendering
castle lord slices up his guts.
There's no rule like that!
The Buddha has his rules
as do the samurai.
You're preaching to a priest!
Priest Ankokuji!
Calm down.
You're a wicked priest!
You fucker!
What the hell did you say?!
Wicked priest!
Sir Kanbei!
I quit, I quit!
I've had enough of these talks!
So then, we invade you
with all our might.
Sure, fine! But first,
I'll send you packing to hell!
Please wait!
If they promise
the safety of my family
and all my soldiers,
I shall happily
commit harakiri.
Lord Muneharu,
don't commit harakiri.
You must not!
You must not!
Must not!
What the hell is he thinking?
You must not commit harakiri!
They're all out of their minds.
it's time for me to disappear.
Even though we just made it back?
I figure the odds on this all-out
battle are fifty-fifty.
When you think your time is up,
hurry up and run.
You coming back?
You guys, help him out.
If Naniwa Mosuke becomes a warlord,
let me perform a tale for you.
See ya!
figure out a way
to get rid of Sorori.
have you released
the rest of the water?
You can cross by horseback now.
What the hell are they up to?!
Thanking us and bidding
farewell to his Lord.
In this floating world,
now leave the name of this
in the moss
of Takamatsu.
He's ready now.
Hurry up and die!
No, no, Your Lord.
The last rites of a samurai...
I'm a peasant!
Is he still at it?
Your Lord!
Your Lord!
Where are you going,
Your Lord?!
Here, over here!
Your Lord!
Lord Hideyoshi, Lord Hideyoshi!
We travel to Himeji.
On that horse?
You guys, too, right?
- Yes, of course, please.
- Of course.
Brother, let's go.
Wait a minute.
Is it safe?
Of course.
You guys go first.
Of course we'll go.
Please go ahead.
What the...?
We're going to gallop all the way
to Himeji without stopping.
If you don't want to die,
travel light!
Are they starting a war?
Oh no, they're going home.
Our meal tickets are escaping!
Pack up, we're following them!
Get moving!
Run, run, run, go,
don't stop, don't stop!
Want a rice ball?
Want a rice ball?
Prepare to cross the river!
Brother, you did a great job.
We're almost at Himeji.
Shut up!
You'll be fine,
they'll carry you across.
- Carry me across, on that?!
- On that.
Nobody told me about this.
You guys can go ahead to Himeji.
I've had it.
You want to rule the land, right?
Help him board.
Raise it up.
Like this?
Together now.
Hey! I won't drown, will I?
If my brother
drowns, I'll become the general.
Don't bring bad luck!
You fucking idiot!
Himeji Castle
Hey, where's Mosuke?!
Sir Kanbei!
I'm so sorry! I was running
with this hood on my back,
so I got behind,
and couldn't protect
His Lordship from bullets.
You came all this way
with that stupid hood?
You took Lord Hideyoshi's
sick joke seriously?
You're even stupider
than your hood.
Where did Sorori go?
Dunno, he said he quit
and disappeared somewhere.
He got away.
Did you want something?
No, no, not anymore.
But you'll be fighting
under me in the next battle.
With your own servant.
Eat and drink up tonight and come to
Nishinomaru at first light tomorrow.
If we win, you can
ride a horse into battle.
There's another battle?
Why the hell do you think
we raced back here so fast?
You really are a moron.
Listen, this is a battle in
honor of Lord Nobunaga.
If you want to succeed
like Lord Hideyoshi,
capture the enemy general,
Akechi Mitsuhide's head as a trophy.
Leave it to me.
I'll do it!
I'll do it, I swear it!
Where's Lord Hideyoshi?!
Lord Nobutaka, please refrain!
Please refrain!
A few moments more!
This is your reward
for going to battle tomorrow.
All of you!
If I become ruler of the land,
there'll be mountains of coins!
I'm sorry to appear suddenly.
How is Master Rikyu?
He's currently occupied with business
in his quarters.
In this battle between Lord Mitsuhide
and Lord Hideyoshi,
in your opinion,
which side will win?
Between the Monkey, who dragged
his army all the way back,
and that brooding, boring samurai,
I call this battle fifty-fifty.
If Lord Hideyoshi doesn't become
ruler of the land,
we're in trouble.
I know that...
talk too much.
I just thought you
were an old geezer!
Yamashiro Province,
Our soldiers out number theirs,
but the outcome depends on
the initial attack.
Unless it's decisive,
the battle could get drawn out.
You want to lead?
You're my younger brother.
What are you saying?
Don't joke like that.
Somebody has to die.
Lord Hideyoshi!
Lord Nakagawa Kiyohide just
arrived to fight with us!
He's finally arrived.
I have him standing by at our camp,
what should I do?
Can you and Nakagawa die together?
No, I mean,
lead the attack together?
You'll spearhead it!
Yes, Sir!
I'll go ahead to capture Mitsuhide
and Toshimitsu's heads.
As soon as the battle begins,
you all raise Mitsuhide's flag,
and pretend to be the enemy.
And follow Gonzo to
the main camp, got it?
Rebels among the Mitsuhide warriors!
If we can maintain our position,
we may be victorious...
Now's the time to launch
a full-out attack on Hideyoshi's army.
What shall we do, Your Lordship?
I convey a message!
The enemy, Ikeda's army made
a surprise attack on Tsuda's men!
Lordship! Let's withdraw!
Mitsuhide's army is collapsing.
We outnumber them.
There's Mitsuhide!
Your Lordship, please escape!
Don't let him escape!
Chase him!
Your Lordship!
Found him!
Let's go!
Your Lordship!
Please escape...
You're Mitsuhide...
You nothing!
You want my head?!
I want to be a samurai general!
You want it, it's yours!
Take it!
I did it,
I did it, damn it!
I'm the samurai general!
Lord Hideyoshi!
Lord Hideyoshi!
He took his head!
Next one, come here!
That's not him?
No, it's not,
totally different.
Pick two or three and bring 'em!
Just bring a bunch of 'em!
What's this?
Could it be the one?
What? Or that one?
It looks...
It looks like someone.
Mosuke? Is it Mosuke?
Oh, yeah, that's him,
it's him.
Mosuke? Hey,
so, um, who's this?
Man, this head is filthy.
Hey, toss this one!
Hey, bring more heads!
Listen up you all!
As long as I know Mitsuhide's dead,
I don't give a damn about his head!