Laughing Heirs (1933) Movie Script

Here the lovely Rhine casts its spell.
This is where love must dwell.
Here, there 's no time to worry.
This is a place to laugh and be merry.
Come under the spell of the lovely Rhine.
Nowhere a prettier sight you will see.
I 'm not sure, but it seems to me.
The secret must be in the wine.
When's the Rh in e coming up?
I n three minutes.
When we...
When we get to the Rhine...
Where will we see it,
on the left or on the right?
That depends on where you're sitting.
If you're on the right,
it's to the right.
If you're on the left,
it's on your left.
And it depends which way you're looking.
You'II see for yourself in a minute.
Say, is that
a genuine Rhenish sparkling wine?
- From the Rhine?
- Yes, sir.
Would you like Stumm or Bockelmann, sir.
Well... which is better?
Oh, that's a matter of taste.
Excuse me for butting in,
but for a gentleman in your price range,
only one will do:.
Bockelmann,
the only quality sparkling wine.
If I may...
Th is is Bockelmann, too:.
Flowery, elegant, tangy.
- Bockelmann?
- Bockelmann!
That's unbelievable! A disgrace!
Beg your pardon?
Excuse me, Miss, did you mean me?
Didn't I hear a comment?
Let me introduce myself.
- I'm...
- I'm not interested.
What interests you, then?
Why are you pushing Bockelmann?
It's first-rate.
I wouldn't for just any brand.
BOCKELMANN SALES REPRESENTATIVE
Well? Now do you understand?
Oh, I see, that's you.
Yes, I'm the Boy Friday, so to say.
May I offer you some coffee?
Yes.
I'm the youngster
in the company, so to speak.
It's not a high-Ievel position.
I do all the little th ings
that need doing.
Sales rep and head of "propaganda."
You know the ad?
"A bottle now and then?
Sure, but only Bockelmann!"
I wrote that.
I mean, compared to Stumm's slogan...
I don't want to boast, but...
Have you worked there long?
Yes, but maybe not much longer.
Don't you get along with your boss?
Oh, we get along fine, it's just...
Well...
He's become qu ite ill, you see.
Very sad... and of cou rse,
if he doesn't recover, I'm out of a job.
- Miss Gina Stumm?
- Yes?
- Telephone for you.
- Excuse me.
Of course.
Waiter, can you come here? Yes?
Is that Miss Stumm
of Stumm vintners?
Robby, how nice of you to call!
Get me a bottle from the lady's company,
yes?
Can you do that? Of course, sir.
You're lucky you caught me!
So, dear...
I'II pick you up in Rdesheim.
With the car, yes!
AII right?
Fine, but then I have to get off now.
The bill, please.
Leaving so soon?
Yes, I have to get off.
But Miss Stumm...
I just ordered a bottle of Stumm!
But you only drink Bockelmann!
Oh, some Stumm now and then...
I was about to hire you
for our advertising,
but if you're swayed so easily... bye.
Goodbye.
Well! I'II have it myself, then.
Robby!
Robby! Robby!
- Robby?
- Rdesheim!
There's my little Gina!
- Rdesheim!
- You look fabulous!
How was school?
Wonderful. And how are you, Papa?
Oh, I see! Papa!
Who was he?
Someone I met on the train.
Oh, really?
Yes, and he was very nice.
I'm so glad you're back.
You are?
I missed you.
I've had a lot on my mind.
- Business trouble?
- Mostly.
- And otherwise?
- Oh...
A new lady in your life?
Let's not talk about that now.
Robby!
Please don't always call me Robby.
I just lost a big order
to the competition at Bockelmann.
By the way, know who that was?
Who?
- The guy on the train.
- No.
He's Bockelman n's advertising guy.
We shou Id lure h im away, he's very good.
Maybe we can.
Old Bockelmann just died.
- Hello, Marie.
- Oh, Mr. Frank!
Hello! You know what's going on?
Just a minute.
Mr. Notary?
Mr. Weinhppel, sir, Peter's here!
Well, hello, Peter!
My dear boy... Peter!
Hello.
Well, my dear boy...
We laid h im to rest this morning.
He didn't want the family to attend.
Just me, and Sch lemmel...
and a few of the workers.
And now they're down there...
singing.
Yes, they've been at it since noon.
Yes, my boy, that's how he wanted it.
If anyone should be sad about his dying,
then he himself.
And since he wasn't sad at all,
no one else should be.
That's why he invited everyone.
Oh, is that why?
Yes, my dear old uncle.
What's that noise?
They should show some respect!
When someone dies,
you don't sing, you shed tears!
Leave them alone, Mr. Bockelmann!
They were just as fond
of the old man as you!
I'm not going to argue with you
about my feelings, sir!
Can't stand him.
The other relatives are all here, too.
AII of them? The entire bu nch.
More soda and lemonade's been served
here today than in the past ten years.
It's a disgrace.
Yes, I guess I'm out of place here.
I think I'II be going.
You could stay till tomorrow.
Why?
For the reading of the will.
For that,
wait till Uncle Justus kicks me out?
At least till tomorrow morning?
Well, all right, I guess I can do that.
But I'd rather go and join the workers.
More to my taste, and U ncle's, too.
Mr. Weinhppel?
Mr. Justus Bockelmann wants to see you.
AII right, I'm coming.
I am aware that...
it would be a great sacrifice
for us all...
if we, as the heirs of the departed,
our dearly beloved Clemens,
were to close down
his highly successful winery.
But what alcohol is to some...
mineral water is to others.
Cou Id you stop reading
while I'm talking?
I'd appreciate it.
And as family shareholders
of a mineral water company,
it would completely contradict
our ethical principles
and our business philosophy
to run...
an alcohol enterprise on the side.
Unfortunately.
I'II pretend I didn't hear
that inappropriate comment, my dear.
The ladies and gentlemen sent for me?
I sent for you...
sir.
Marie, get me a cognac.
I can't bear to see so much water.
I'm sorry, but I can't celebrate
my brother's demise as you seem to.
No need to be so formal,
Iadies and gentlemen.
Dear old Clemens
wou Idn't have wanted that.
The ladies and gentlemen want to know
what the deceased decreed in his will,
- I presume?
- Indeed we do.
I thought so.
Are all relatives...
in the legal sense present?
As far as my wife and I are concerned,
yes.
I suppose the rest are, too.
Assmanshausen.
Greif.
I'm Krger and th is is my wife, Bertha.
Adele Lemke.
We're Leutner and Zuch.
So only Peter Frank is missing.
We have no need for him.
He never cared about h is relatives,
so now h is relatives
don't care about h im, see?
The boy didn't write me once
in six years!
He stayed with us one time
and broke my good cane,
the one with the silver handle,
right in the middle!
Really?
Quiet, please, I'm talking now!
He's really a poor lost soul,
that boy.
So, now that everyone's had their say,
I can go get him.
If you ask me, don't bother,
he can stay where he is!
- You hear me?
- Right!
Everybody pipe down, please!
Be quiet for a minute, will you?
- Qu iet!
- Quiet, everyone!
I have to make a speech.
Well, actually, I can't make a speech.
Why not?
The on ly thing I can say...
is that old Bockelman n...
was a real mensch.
Because he was...
- a mensch.
- Right.
And that's...
What more cou Id you say about someone
than...
he was a mensch?
He always said we should be happy.
- Right!
- That's true.
Remember how he used to come
and drink us all under the table?
And then he'd go up the stairs
all by himself,
holding his head high.
Yes, I remember!
- Peter!
- Yes?
The family...
Oh, yes, I guess I'd better be going.
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
To keep us waiting like this!
To treat us like this,
it's outrageous!
Let's start without him.
I've never seen the likes of it.
I may be an unreasonable fellow,
but this is unheard of!
I've heard of young men
kept waiting by their elders,
but never of a young man
keeping his elders waiting!
After all, death is no trifling matter.
I mean, one doesn't die every day,
and we want to get on with things!
Well?
Where is he, the you ng... nephew?
He's outside.
What is he doing there?
He has business to take care of.
What business?
How could it be business, outside?
Business, that's all.
It's just awful, Mr. Peter...
He hasn't eaten
since Mr. Bockelmann died.
Well...
Not a thing, in three days.
Now, Rolf, you're a big dog, right?
We all have to get over it.
Now grit your teeth and eat, okay?
Marie, give me that.
Here, doggie. Good, huh?
You see, that wasn't so hard.
One bite for Uncle...
One for Marie...
One for Weinhppel...
Is he eating, Peter?
Yes, he's eating!
Thank God, he's eating!
- Who's eating?
- The dog.
He's feeding the dog,
at a moment like this!
Unbelievable!
He still hasn't realized
that life isn't a game.
Britta, where are you?
In the dining room!
Put that down!
He hasn't realized that life is serious.
Right!
Hello.
Hello.
Come... sit!
You come here with that gluttonous dog?
Disgusting!
Justus!
Justus, for heaven's sake!
You be quiet! That's enough!
Would you begin, Mr. Weinhppel?
Oh, right, the will...
Just a minute.
Marie, the gramophone!
What's that?
You want to play music to this?
In that case, I'd have to protest
in all seriousness and due form.
That's really the limit!
So, I'II let you speak for yourself,
my dear friend, Clemens Bockelmann.
Assmanshausen, January 18, 1922.
I shall read my last will and testament,
as attested by Dr. Weinhppel.
My dear family...
Dear Gustav, dear Otto,
dear Sophie, dear Friedchen,
etc. Etc...
If God wants to punish someone,
he gives them the likes of you
for relatives.
But today, now that I 'm dead,
I'd have been glad to see you,
for the first time in my life.
U n believable, even now that he's dead
he has to annoy us.
- Justus...
- Yes?
You 're the worst:
Always going on about temperance,
though you know perfectly well
your wife likes to tipple.
Clemens, you ' re going too far!
You 're all equally dear to my heart.
I see each one of you before me,
mourning me,
while at the same time appraising
each piece of furniture
for its cash value.
My beloved family...
You are all so virtuous,
so steadfast, so firm
in your moral convictions
that nothing could happen to you.
Only one of you needs
the support provided by an inheritance,
and th us one of you
shall receive everything, namely...
my nephew P eter Frank, the rascal.
Wel I, we may as we I I leave, then.
Yes, I guess so.
My dear Peter...
When I took over the winery,
Bockelmann Assmanshausen was small
and Stumm Biebrich was big.
All my life I worked hard
to beat our strongest competitor.
My final wish is that you bring
this rivalry to a satisfactory end,
for I think it is foolish to make life
unnecessarily unpleasant for oneself.
But to prove to your relatives that,
though you appreciate a good wine
every bit as much as I do,
you are by no means a drinker,
you shall inherit my estate
only if you comply with one condition.
You 're not allo wed to drink
a drop of alcohol for a whole month.
No wine, no beer.
Not e ven your Lickersteiner Krnzchen.
Ah a!
Shh! That's how we' II get him!
That's not so easy, I know.
But show us you can stick with it.
Weinhppel will keep a watchful eye
on you, along with my good dog, Rolf.
In case this condition is not fulfilled,
I have deposited alternate provisions
with the notary.
Well, then...
Enjoy yourself.
You don 't have to wear black.
P ull yourself together...
T ake care...
Farewell.
Than k you.
Come.
Here's to you.
Wh at is it? Oh, I see.
Yes, he's a clever dog, isn't he?
Yes.
Well, wasn't I right to say
you should stay till today?
That was quite a surprise.
Where are all my dear relatives?
Packing up to go back home.
Hurry, the train leaves in ten minutes!
Bye!
The train goes in ten minutes!
- Goodbye!
- Goodbye!
Go on, hu rry!
Don't want to miss you r train!
How many ch ildren these people have!
Dreadful!
Tell her to wash your neck!
Goodbye!
You already had one this morning.
Goodbye.
Oh, now August, it's all right.
But it was a mean thing to do!
Well, yes...
But don't worry,
we'II look after your interests.
Bye!
Bye! Thank God they're gone.
Look after their interests? How?
Leave it to me.
I'II think of a way to trick the lad.
Why, Peter! Not in bed yet?
How about a nice glass of wine?
A glass of wine?
That's over with.
What do you mean?
No more drin king, so lock everything up
and h ide the key, okay?
I mustn't find a drop of alcohol
in the house.
You must be joking.
Now you've become a teetotaler?
I'm not joking.
Believe me, I'm serious.
I'm not allowed a drop
for the next four weeks.
Boy, am I thirsty!
- Twelve.
- Hear that?
Hear that, my boy?
It's the stroke of midnight.
From now on, you're dry as a bone.
I know. I'II manage.
One month.
Four weeks without alcohol.
Four weeks. That's 30 days.
Let me think, that's...
30 times 6 times 4...
That's 720 hours.
720 hours.
Why, do nights count, too?
Yes, nights count double, actually.
I see.
- I have...
- What's the matter?
Over here. No! What's this, now?
Mr. Weinhppel...
For when you leave,
here's the front door key.
Lock up and put it under the rock.
Under the rock.
I'm going to bed, I'm tired.
Good night.
Yes, good night...
but I'm staying here.
Why are you staying here?
I have to keep an eye on you.
- What? At night?
- Sure.
After all, you can drink at night
as well as during the day, can't you?
Yes. AII right, then.
Come, give that to me.
That's disgusting.
- Disgusting.
- Let's go to bed.
Leave that here.
Yes, let's go to bed.
Well, then.
Are you a restless sleeper?
When I've had my ration,
I sleep like a baby.
Oh, Justus...
This is just awfu I, really.
Can't you get to sleep at all?
How can I fall asleep
if you keep asking me if I can't sleep
just when I'm about to fall asleep?
Why don't you count sheep?
Then you'II be asleep in no time.
10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90, 100.
No.
See, nothing helps.
No, that won't work.
You have to count slowly.
One... two... three...
That way it'II take even longer
for me to fall asleep.
Besides, I don't want to fall asleep.
I...
What I really want is to come up with
a way of getting that boy to drink.
That would be wonderfu I.
Get him to drink
and we get the in heritance.
I was going to buy you a fu r coat.
And new wallpaper...
I could get my appendix removed.
Just like that, for no reason at all.
Oh, Justus.
Don't tortu re yourself like that,
Justus.
Keep cou nting and you'II fall asleep.
- Hasensprung...
- Hasensprung.
Pfarrgarten...
Daxberg Riesling...
- Okay.
- Steinkopf...
- Gartenloch...
- Yes.
- And that slope...
- Yes?
- Morning, Peter.
- Morn ing.
Pinot noir...
And down there, Trockenbeerenauslese.
And my Lickersteiner Krnzchen?
Up there.
- How's it looking?
- Great.
Just three more weeks,
and it's all yours.
- Maybe.
- No frost damage...
No vine pest... Plenty of sun...
That's worth a lot.
No vine pest, eh?
40 kilometers to Biebrich.
For the heir to a fortune,
you don't look very happy.
Was th is week really that bad?
I always say:.
Never let drinking become a habit.
Or is something else trou bling you?
No, no.
Tell me...
How is Stumm's business doing?
- Not well at all.
- Oh?
See that? That's the Steinhaufen slope,
the best one on the Rhine.
Stumm offered it to your uncle,
for half of what it's worth.
Half...
- That's 20 kilometers.
- What?
But he didn't buy it, did he?
Well, he was ill, and the lawyer said,
"The longer we wait,
the cheaper we'II get it."
Morn ing Peter, Mr. Schlemmel.
Morning, Karl.
May I?
You should try what you're inheriting.
Slow down, I haven't inherited anything.
Not yet.
Cheers. And who knows if I will?
I would hope so.
Well, three weeks with no wine...
They'II go by. It's a long time.
Peter, my dear boy, stop! Stop!
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Peter, you drank!
Oh, that was just grape juice.
Unfermented.
Oh, all right, then.
My dear Peter...
I have business to discuss with you.
Business, eh? Well, I'II pass!
I've had it with all your business!
Just count me out!
Peter! Peter, wait!
Peter, my boy!
- Yeah, yeah.
- My dear boy!
You know...
As you know,
the Bockelmann and Stu mm wineries
are fierce competitors.
Yes, I know, absolutely.
So...
First I'm supposed to buy the slope,
then I'm supposed to wait
till he sells...
Forget it!
I've had it, I'm telling you!
- Peter, my boy...
- Oh, stop it!
Listen...
I've been listening for a week!
But you know what your dear u ncle said.
Now it's my turn to say someth ing.
I'm tired of all this.
The drinking, inheriting, the family...
If things go on like this, then I quit,
and my uncle would have done the same!
I'II have three big cognacs
and go work for the competition!
Wait! Wait, Peter, wait!
Wait, my boy, wait a minute!
Old Stumm has a daughter, doesn't he?
Yes, I know.
And she's a pretty girl.
- I know that, too.
- Yes.
Well, Peter... My dear boy...
Sooner or later her father
will want her to get married.
Oh, I see.
That's how
to acquire vineyards cheaply, is it?
No one cares whether she wants to.
Or whether I want to.
But of course you'II want to, Peter.
Hah!
And so will she.
You don't know Gina Stu mm.
I know her better.
But Peter!
Now don't do anything foolish!
Oh, dear,
the headaches that boy gives me!
Schlemmel!
Come quick, I need you to do me a favor!
Keep Weinhppel off my back, okay?
I need to go to Biebrich.
Bye!
Come on, Rolf! Come, hop in!
- Hello!
- Hello, Dr. Wein hppel.
- Have you seen Peter?
- Peter?
Yes.
Don't worry, he's headed the right way.
You have no idea.
Drink, that's what he wants to do.
The trouble I have with that boy...
He's not that stupid.
He's on exactly the right road.
- Oh? To where?
- To Biebrich.
To Biebrich?
When's the next train to Biebrich?
What do you plan to do?
Pay our competitor a visit.
What's this?
Mrs. Heller's account.
She hasn't paid in seven months.
We'II let my father take care of that.
Put it back, wou Id you?
Of course.
I don't think your father's arrived yet.
Oh.
Is he always this late?
Maybe he's in a meeting.
Give me his calendar, would you?
Certainly.
Here you are.
Who is this Liane?
That's Mrs. Heller.
Ah... very pretty.
Two pictures of her, and one of me.
Who is Mrs. Heller?
Why, she's a good friend of your father.
So that's what he's been up to.
Hello, Mr. Stumm's office.
Sorry, not at the moment, ma'am.
That's her on the phone now.
Yes, hello, I'm calling from Wiesbaden.
Yes.
Do you know when Mr. Stu mm will retu rn?
Yes!
May I ask to whom I'm speaking?
Gina Stumm.
I'm afraid my father's busy right now.
He has an important meeting.
I'm sorry.
But I'm giving a party tonight!
Mr. Stumm promised me
a case each of wine and champagne.
Has that been taken care of?
Excuse me?
What did you just say?
Perhaps you misunderstood.
We don't sell to private customers.
I am authorized!
You'II just have to buy elsewhere!
Buy elsewhere? You're sending
customers to the competition?
Fine, I'II call Bockelmann right away.
Good morning!
Morning, Mr. Stumm.
- Morning, Gina!
- Morning.
Here, in honor of
your first day at work.
I hope our working relationship
will be as good as our private one.
And so on. How sweet of you, Robby.
Oh, quit saying Robby, I'm your father.
As long as you do things like that,
you'II be Robby, and a silly one, too.
Good morning.
Excuse me, I have loads to do.
Well, have fun, dear!
And good luck on the job.
By the way...
Did you read the news
about the competition?
"It seems the will of the late owner
of the B. Winery stipulates
that his would-be heir fulfill
some rather unusual requirements."
That's funny.
H e has to stay dry for four weeks.
And fin d a way to end the rivalry
with the S. Company. That's us.
That means he plans to swallow us!
Is that fu nny?
Su re, I'm not the one all high and dry.
But maybe the winery.
We'II just work harder.
Nonsense. You know what we need?
A real publicity expert.
Preferably by Sunday,
for the Rhine cruise.
I bet th is whole th ing about the will
is just a publicity stunt, too.
I bet it was Peter Fran k's idea.
Yes.
Young Mr. Frank...
Hello.
I'm Peter Frank.
You're here to see...?
Miss Stumm.
- Pardon me?
- She's in, I see.
Would you be so kind as to
give her my card?
But the dog stays here.
He's no dog, he's a friend.
Hello, Weinhppel's my name.
How can I help you?
I'm here to see Mr. Stumm.
Just a moment.
Agreed?
Someone's here to see you, Miss.
- Ask him to wait.
- Yes.
Can I hire him?
As you're so determined
about your first job decision...
fine.
Robby, you're a real businessman,
after all!
Erna, get me Bockelmann
in Assmanshausen.
Mr. Peter Frank, to be exact.
Just a moment.
Show him in. Well, good luck, dear.
Thanks!
Is that the Bockelmann winery?
Peter Frank, please.
Excuse me...
You can't go in, this is urgent!
Then I really have to go in...
Hello? Hey!
Hello.
You wanted to talk to me, here I am.
But how did you get here so fast?
Just a little trick of mine.
But I only do it for friends.
I sent in my card, actually,
but if no one reads it...
Oh, I see!
So, what's on you r mind?
Well...
- What's on my mind?
- Oh, I see.
Your boss died
and now you want to work for us.
No, actually, it's a bit different.
Oh, no need to apologize.
And?
So, you'd like to have me here,
is that right?
For professional reasons.
What position did you have in mind?
Head of advertising.
- Head of advertising.
- Right.
My dear Clemens Bockelmann
explicitly stated in his will
that he wished to have the rivalry between
ou r two companies put to an end.
You're speaking for the beneficiary?
Well, not exactly, but...
Let's say I have a strong feeling
that my little project...
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
Very good. I have a feeling that
my plan won't meet much opposition
on the you ng man's part.
- You understand?
- You smoke?
No, thank you.
You don't get along with you r new boss?
You know how it is.
We don't always agree.
Yes, I can imagine.
I heard he's not particularly agreeable.
Oh, I wouldn't go that far.
I'd rather not discuss it, I'm biased.
Why's that?
Well, the young fellow...
He's quite a drin ker, you see.
But that's the nice thing about him.
It's very decent of you to defend him.
Well, half-heartedly.
Yet you want to leave?
You were thinking of a merger?
More of a marriage, actually.
I th in k the you ng people
would make an excellent match.
If it works out...
the merger will follow on its own.
Do talk to your daughter and encou
rage her to wed young Bockelmann.
It's a splendid idea.
But totally u nfeasible.
I quite like it.
I won't marry in cold calculation.
It needn't be out of calculation.
You know about business, not love.
Bockelmann wants to end ou r rivalry.
Yes.
And he wants to do so by marrying me.
Tell him I won't have it!
What? He hears all right.
What do you mean?
He meant Bockelman n'II hear about it,
all right.
Well, so much the better.
Mr. Stumm, there seems
to be a misunderstanding here.
Not at all.
If I may... my name's Peter Frank,
of Bockelmann vintners.
The chap from the train.
Is there a misu nderstanding here?
But not at all, Mr. Weinhppel.
We're leaving.
Well, I must say...
- Goodbye.
- Bye.
- Adieu.
- Adieu.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
How did you get here? By train.
What were you doing in there?
And what did that
have to do with Mr. Bockelmann?
It only had to do with him.
- Oh...
- I don't get it.
- Why?
- This morning you said
you want to marry her and now you don't.
But I do want to marry her.
That's why I told her I don't want to.
- I don't get it.
- Why?
I may be du mb, but not dumb enough
to understand that.
You mean you really don't understand?
Not a word.
The idea's not bad.
I'm not interested in marrying,
or in Bockelmann.
Only in the ad man.
Yes, and I'II go
and settle everyth ing today.
Fine.
I still don't get it.
Now, really.
Okay, once again, then.
She thinks the heir, Bockelmann,
wants to marry her, yes?
She doesn't th ink I'm Bockelmann,
and I'm not, but I'm the heir
and want to marry her,
so I said
I was against her marrying Bockelman n.
- Simple enough, isn't it?
- Yes.
Finally!
But I still don't get it.
Not a single word!
You don't have to shout.
Everything will work out.
Let's wait and see, and drink tea.
There you are!
- Justus!
- Tea, huh?
Well, it was about time!
One has tea at five o'clock.
That's why we say "five o'clock tea."
It's twenty past five now.
I'd just like to point that out.
AII right?
You're not leaving any time soon, right?
Not as far as I know.
Do you have some rum, perhaps?
No, we don't do rum.
- Tea with rum.
- Britta! Rum?
Of course there's rum here.
Drink rum all you like, but without me!
I don't like your tone!
I don't like dirty tricks!
You put liqueur in my dessert,
now there's rum in my tea!
Not with me, you don't!
I'm on to you, you devious bunch!
Shh, the girl.
Mr. Peter, there's a lady
waiting for you downstairs.
That's nice.
Might be Gina Stumm.
I'II be right down!
- Hello.
- Hello.
Have you seen a lady anywhere?
A lady?
I was told a lady's waiting for me.
I'm waiting for a Bockelmann salesman.
I see. Well, I'm one.
Oh, I see.
Yes. Would you be the... Iady?
Yes, if you don't mind.
I don't mind, exactly.
You're here on business.
Yes, what did you think?
Well, I'm Peter Frank, sales agent.
Follow me.
Very romantic.
How do you mean, ma'am?
A bit spooky, almost.
Oh, you get used to it.
Very nice.
Say, who's the director
of the company now?
That hasn't been decided yet.
Oh.
We're still waiting.
What can I do for you?
Well, I'm giving a party.
Sparkling wine, perhaps?
Why, yes, of cou rse.
Then I recommend our best label:
Bockelmann Privat. Demi-sec.
Famous for its underlying sweetness.
Nicely said.
May I taste it?
Certainly, ma'am.
Just a moment, please.
Here.
Than ks. But what about you?
I don't drink.
Not even at parties?
No, I'm afraid I don't care for wine.
What?
Yes.
A wine salesman who doesn't drin k!
That's hilarious.
Yes, but what can you do?
Didn't I just see someone?
- Who is it?
- Oh, my supervisor.
You know, Britta...
I feel a bit ashamed of myself...
Shh!
It's a bit embarrassing
to be spying on him like th is.
Don't be a coward.
He's in the wine-tasting room now.
But the five o'clock tea incident
made h im suspicious.
Oh, come on.
Say, Britta...
How come you had rum in the house?
I use it as rubbing alcohol.
I see.
But how come there was rum in your tea?
I have no idea, it just was.
But my alcohol's not the issue,
his alcohol's the issue, so come on!
Can I do anything else for you?
I need a light wine to go with fish.
What kind of fish?
Rhine River salmon.
Then a Rhine wine would be best.
I'd say a 1921 Geisenheimer Katzenloch.
How many dozen shall I put down?
Six bottles.
Oh! So, half a dozen, then.
Fine.
If it's as good as the champagne...
Oh, it's even better, ma'am.
Believe me.
The wine's even better.
Though the champagne's su perb,
I must say.
Why won't you have some, then?
Excuse me, ma'am... but the young man
isn't allowed to drin k.
- Excuse me?
- I can't allow that.
But why aren't you allowed to drink?
Well, you see, if I'm not allowed to...
then I can't, can I?
I'm not supposed to.
That's how it is.
But why aren't you su pposed to?
Don't you know?
It was in all the papers.
He can't drink for four weeks,
or he loses h is in heritance.
Yes, Bockelmann's heir, but...
But? Why "but"?
You're the you ng Bockelmann?
I used to be even you nger...
But I can't change that.
Yes, I am, and it's awful.
What's awful about in heriting a fortune?
But only after four weeks.
And I'II go crazy in those fou r weeks.
The whole family's after me,
trying to get me to drink alcohol.
I can't get away from them.
So go someplace you won't be bothered.
What do you mean?
Why not go to a sanatorium,
Iike Waldesruh?
Waldesruh sanatorium?
Hide there.
Then no one can make you drin k.
Hey, isn't that a great idea?
Excellent!
I'II do the Rhine cruise tomorrow,
then it's off to Waldesruh!
They'II never find me!
- And?
- Noth ing.
I don't get it.
He must be hiding it somewhere.
- Dr. Hubert told me...
- Shh!
Dr. Hubert told me...
that no matter how hard he tries,
a person contaminated by alcohol...
will never be able to give up
his vice.
He's right.
Well, then.
You're truly worth your weight in gold!
Give me your hand.
I don't know how to thank you, Liane.
May I call you Liane? Of course.
Wonderful.
Hello.
Oh, please forgive me...
This is Liane Heller...
Miss Gina...
- We've already spoken.
- Pardon?
Yes, my name's Gina Stumm.
Goodbye!
Say... why were you so odd to me
on the phone today?
I see you found someone to console you.
I beg your pardon?
What do you thin k I am?
I don't care who or what you are,
but I won't allow...
Won't allow what?
You to walk all over my father!
How can you say such a thing?
Then tell me
why you came to see Mr. Frank!
To place an order.
You called Father about that, too.
Strange how you always get in my way.
Strange? How dare you!
I'd call that strange, yes!
Oh, good Lord...
I ncredible!
What do you say to that?
Well, you know,
from her point of view...
I might see things differently,
but she might have a point.
You're defending the competition?
Well, no, but Miss Gina and I...
I see. Don't bother with my order.
Stumm and Bockelmann
aren't the only wineries.
Miss!
Let her make debts elsewhere.
- Wait, Miss Stumm!
- What?
Listen, I have something important
to say!
I had the impression she was offended.
Very disappointed, are you?
Not really...
Any sort of relationsh ip
is out of the question now!
Relationship?
Yes, I wanted you to do promotion
on our next Rhine cru ise.
Yes, that's a fabulous idea!
No, we'II do without you!
Did you say you'II do without me?
Yes.
Know what? I'II do without you!
I don't need you!
- Do what you want!
- I will!
We'II see who wins the game,
you or me!
"AN UN US UAL RIVALRY"
"The steamship Rheinland will go
on her maiden voyage this Sunday."
The Stumm and Bockelmann wineries
will be serving refreshments
to all passengers free of charge.
Thus participants will have
the opportunity to compare
"and try the two companies' wines
and champagnes for themselves."
I won der who' II win.
We will, of cou rse.
Peter will see to that. Cheers.
Okay, we' re going to give it our all!
Let's just see who wins, him or me!
Hello! Why haven't you started loading?
Be patient, we'II fin ish in time.
Isn't the chap from Bockelmann here yet?
I don't know.
Usually he's here first.
Early bird gets the worm.
Is your friend on her maiden voyage,
too?
Just a second.
Could you take Rolf for a minute?
Rolf's first time, too, eh?
And my hat and coat?
I have to find the captain.
Ask your girlfriend.
Here.
Waiter, the wine list, please!
Hey, wait!
My coworker will help you.
I need to speak to the captain.
He can't be disturbed now.
- Why?
- Bad nerves.
Excuse me, I have a lot to take care of.
But look at that machine! What a beauty!
So, if you'II excuse me...
Why don't you go up and have fun!
God, the people they're sending me
from Dsseldorf!
So many guests, all in uniform...
It's enough to make you dizzy.
That's just for the maiden voyage.
It's good publicity.
Society types
who're interested in these things.
Tomorrow it'II be just us again.
I wish it were over already.
There's another one!
Hello, Captain.
I wanted to ask about the loading.
How do we proceed with the loading?
Loading?
It's best if you take care of that.
That's fine with me.
What a big deal about the loading.
We'II set off once loading's completed.
But put a cap on or
people will mistake you for a passenger.
Fine, I'II put on my cap.
Morning.
Morn ing, Helmsman.
Morning, Inspector.
Why aren't you loading?
We don't know what to begin with,
Stumm or Bockelmann.
Bockelmann, of course.
In the alphabet, B is before S.
You know that, don't you?
What's right is right.
Good day. Good day, I nspector.
Boss, you know that guy?
You can't get everyone straight
on the first day.
Okay, let's start!
Finally!
And no one from Bockelmann
has shown u p yet!
That's where their feuding gets them!
What?
They cou Id've taken one of ou rs!
Be patient, Miss, we'II keep up.
Nice and easy, now.
Hey, you! What about our crates?
You can't favor one party!
Let's not talk about politics.
That's good, ours will be on top.
Oh, nonsense!
I bet that rogue's behind this!
Loading is completed.
Full steam ahead!
Thank you.
What's this?
They're leaving without us!
- Stop!
- Wait!
Hey, what about our crates?
I don't believe this!
What are we going to do now?
Guess you'II have to swim.
Bye, and say hi to the folks at home!
I should've known he was up to something!
That little rogue! The cad!
May I say a few words about the ship?
I don't think that's necessary.
But if you really want to, go ahead.
Thank you.
Ladies and gentlemen!
Don't get the wrong idea,
I'm not the captain.
I'm from Bockelmann vintners,
and today we'd like to present
some of our finest wines.
Due to a lucky accident of my doing,
there are actually
only Bockelmann wines on board.
If you like to drink, drink!
Order quick and you'II get a bargain!
I'II hand out price lists in a minute
for you to pass around.
Well, and... uh... Right.
Uh, I wanted to say... something else.
Well, we all get stuck now and then,
and I...
Well, I'II fumble through somehow.
I may not be a good speaker,
but I am a good salesman.
I know there are potential customers
out there.
I look forward to
doing business with you,
though a sh ip's maiden voyage
shou Id be a pleasure cruise, above all.
How much for a trip
that's not a pleasure cruise?
We have to catch up with them.
Eight marks an hour.
Not cheap, but with so much at stake,
eight marks don't count.
We know what counts,
dear passengers: The bouquet!
And I can say with pride of our wines:
The bouq uets speak for themselves.
I just find this so romantic.
You think our house back home...
will be just as romantic
when we're dead?
I doubt it.
It'II be auctioned off when we're dead.
But it's also located on the water.
Yes, once... those were all buildings
people used to live in.
But they're castles,
robber barons used to live there.
Yes, those were the days!
When someone stole an inheritance then,
the knights charged the castle, ta-ta,
ta-ta, the robber got a beating,
and that was the end of it!
They didn't have to bother about
whether he dran k or not!
Well done!
Come, have a drink with us!
Thanks, but really, gentlemen...
My dear boy!
My tu rn first!
You're younger, after all.
- Cheers!
- Cheers!
Say...
What's going on here?
Wasn't he going to mention the sh ip?
He hasn't said a word about it.
Someth ing's fishy here.
- Cheers!
- Morning.
- Wait a minute, Peter!
- Yes?
You were great!
I can see why your uncle liked you.
That's how to get orders!
Glad to hear it.
Join us for a glass!
No, thanks, you go ahead.
But thanks, anyway.
Cheers to you!
- Good job!
- Thank you.
My husband also placed an order.
Glad to hear that, than ks. Enjoy!
Cheers!
Cheers, gentlemen!
Peter, where've you been hiding?
Come drink with us!
No time, sorry.
- Nonsense!
- No, really...
How much is this one?
I put price lists out.
Who needs that modern stuff?
We can discuss that over a drink!
Yeah?
- Great bouquet, huh?
- You bet!
Did you place your order?
Of course!
Hey! You wouldn't turn down
a glass of your own wine, would you?
You know what?
If I drink I'II get seasick.
Hey, Rolf, what's the matter?
Excuse me, may I?
Oh, good Lord!
Uncle Justus!
Quick, young man,
or the lout will drink on the sly!
But you don't have any wine!
No, really...
Gentlemen...
Long live the Bockelmann company!
We can't unpack them
as fast as they're drinking!
Cheers, Mr. Frank.
Let's clink glasses!
Sure...
No, no. You have to drin k, too.
Afterwards.
No, we have to drink now.
Uh, I meant... after you.
AII right.
- Now you drink.
- With pleasure.
Now was that so hard, Mr. Frank?
Well...
Bye!
- Cheers, Mister.
- Yeah.
Oh, good, relief is here. Get to work.
Here you are.
Go on, get moving.
Gentlemen, what's all this about?
Come on, move it! Wait a minute!
Thank you, but I...
I can't. I'm... not allowed.
I mustn't...
Where are you going with those bottles?
Rolf... Come here, Rolf.
Listen, Rolf.
I have to tell you something, Rolf.
I'm going away for a while.
And I'II tell you where, too.
I'm going to a sanatorium
called Waldesruh.
I don't think they allow dogs, so you'II
spend a few days with Weinhppel, okay?
Weinhppel!
I'm busy!
"Dear Weinhppel,."
Here are 78 orders.
Congratulations!
Please take care of everything.
I have to go away for a while.
"I'll be at Waldesruh sanatorium."
Hey, look, you forgot your cap!
Oh, thanks.
You mustn't be too upset with Gina.
She' II apologize.
And when she hears
we're getting married, well...
You'II get along just fine, I'm sure.
Gina, come here for a minute, would you?
You've met, haven't you?
Of course. Hello.
Hello.
Gina...
Liane and I are getting married.
It's your life, Papa.
Why must you call me Papa?
Call me Robby.
It's your life, Robby.
Miss Gina, I understand how hard
it must be to let such a nice man go.
He is very charming.
Do you have any other su rprises for me?
Yes. I know where
the you ng Bockelmann heir is.
He's in a sanatorium.
You're sure?
We're getting along better already.
We should go there!
- We three?
- Agreed!
What would we do there?
Get him to have a drink.
The teetotalers will take over
and we're rid of the competition.
But we don't know what sanatoriu m.
We can't look in every one.
But I know which one he's in.
Really? Where?
Waldesruh sanatorium.
I wish I was in New York.
Why?
Not as a human being.
As a shark.
Oh, what nonsense.
Yesterday 50,000 liters of wh isky
were dumped into New York harbor.
And here there's only milk...
Nothing but milk.
Well, that's good, isn't it?
Milk... just milk.
I think it's great here.
Just look at old Rolf here.
Rolf...
Now there's a person who feels with me.
He likes it here, too.
Right, Rolf?
You know what it's like for me.
No relatives...
No one I know... No alcohol...
One, two, three, four...
five, six.
That will do the trick!
I'm curious to see how.
Well, it isn't fair,
but fairer than marrying for money.
- Don't you think?
- Well...
But I need you r help.
Liane's already looking.
Hello, Mr. Frank.
Yes? Hello, who's there?
Oh, hello, Liane! How are you?
Hello, please, stay put.
Would you like to sit down?
Thank you.
My friend, Rolf.
Nice to meet you.
Rolf, meet Liane.
So, what brings you here?
I'm here with Mr. Stumm.
Oh, that's nice.
Yes, and Gina. Who did you say?
- Yes.
- Gina's here?
I'II go look for young Bockelmann, then.
Good luck.
Let's hope so.
Miss Stumm's room number, please.
Let me check.
26. And what's the number of...
Good morning.
Miss Stumm, please!
It's really not my fault!
I'm only doing it for my boss!
And where is he?
- In his room.
- Which is...?
Great!
First floor, has a nice view...
What number is it?
A number, a bath...
But what number is it?
Of course, it has a number.
Odd, all the doors and rooms here
have numbers on them.
I want to know the number, please.
That you shall, but said number is...
Oh, dear, I seem to have forgotten.
Isn't that strange?
Strange, indeed.
A guy I knew even forgot to forget.
Enough of this!
I'II ask at the front desk!
Mr. Bockelmann's room number?
Number 11.
- He's in the building?
- Yes.
Wait, what does he look like?
Older, glasses, talks funny.
Talks a bit funny? That's him.
Miss Stumm, go on up! Bye!
Come in!
- Excuse me.
- What is it?
I wanted to speak to Mr. Bockelmann.
That's me.
Oh! You?
You're the young Mr. Bockelmann?
Young, well, yes...
I suppose maybe I am a bit younger
than many other older gentlemen.
There's no other Mr. Bockelmann?
No.
I'm proud to say I'm the only one,
the only Bockelmann.
You see, Rolf, everything's fine.
Didn't we pull that off splendidly?
Now we can drink our milk
without worrying, right?
Do you want some, too?
Just a bit? Here you go.
Since Peter can't drink alcohol,
Rolf's decent enough not to, either.
Yes, you're a decent chap, aren't you?
Leave me alone!
I won't let you out of my sight.
Hello, Gina?
I need to speak with you.
She doesn't seem to be in.
Why, the room's empty.
No...
It's not empty.
The room... is...
What, am I dreaming?
I've been looking forward
to meeting you.
My dear, sweet child,
those are very kind words, indeed.
My father wants to meet you, too.
I n spite of our differences?
But Mr. Bockelmann, a man like you,
so young at heart and modern...
You flatter me, my dear.
But you see, alcohol and mineral water
just don't mix.
You've never had a drin k?
Water, yes.
- And alcohol?
- My worst enemy.
How can you fight an enemy
you don't even know?
Well, that's a new way of looking at it.
You aren't trying to seduce me, are you?
- Well, yes.
- What's that?
Alcohol!
At last, a little alcohol!
You know, slowly...
Slowly but surely,
I'm beginn ing to realize...
how much I've missed out on in life.
Little by little, you know?
But I'II make up for it,
you can bet on that.
My dear child,
I'm going to make up for it all.
And when I say I'II make up for it,
I really mean it.
You understand? I'm serious!
Britta, darling. My God, Justus!
I go for a walk and find you having
an orgy with some strange woman!
Madam, let me explain.
No need to explain.
I don't talk to your kind, anyway.
My dear little Britta.
Oh, where's my handkerchief
when I need it?
Britta, my dear, please don't cry.
You know I can't bear to see you cry.
We've been married 18 years,
and now you treat me like th is?
But Britta, it was completely innocent!
It hurts me, though.
Britta, come, my sweet, dearest Britta,
come on and let's have a drink.
Come, have a bit!
It's really so good!
Let's have a glass with the young lady.
Where did she go?
Rolf, those are water lilies.
But you mustn't drink the water.
AII drinks must be approved here,
you know?
Mr. Frank!
Your company lost out!
Yes, Bockelmann is drinking!
Isn't that wonderfu I?
Now you can work for us.
I have to tell you someth ing.
I can't work for you, actually.
Not yet. I have to explain someth ing.
It's a bit difficu It, see.
What do you mean?
You assumed Bockelmann wants
to marry you out of expediency, right?
Well, now the time has come...
for me to make a confession.
A confession?
Uh, it's not easy for me.
- Yes, I know.
- What do you know?
I've known all along, Peter.
Really, you've figured it out?
That Peter Fran k and Bockelmann
are the same person? It was my idea.
Not bad, eh? One of my craziest stunts.
G lad you figured it out.
But I didn't mean that.
What did you mean?
So you've been lying to me?
Well, not lying...
I wasn't always honest,
but only to...
To play me for a fool.
Well, you figured wrong!
To play you for a fool?
Well, certainly.
I figured wrong? What's this now?
Here we are, arguing again!
Whenever we're getting along,
something messes it up!
You have no idea, Miss Stumm,
what plans I had for you!
It may sound corny,
but I wanted to make you happy!
So, now you know.
You stay right there, you hear?
You stay there, damn it!
We'II see who figured wrong.
Now I'II be the one
to upset your plans!
Excuse me, sir.
Do you have a bottle of wine for me?
Listen...
It's urgent.
I know, but you won't get alcohol here.
Peter! My dear boy!
I hope you haven't had a drink
in the meantime?
Why, Wein hppel, you're sozzled!
That's wonderfu I!
Show me where you got the stuff!
But then off to bed with you!
Well, this is just great, really!
I ncredible!
You drank that all by you rself?
- Yes, I guess I did.
- Well!
I had to make up for lost time.
And what about me?
What am I going to do now?
Wait... H ush!
Justus will give me someth ing for sure!
Peter!
Britta, I think you're a little tipsy.
No, Justus...
I think we both are.
Ah, there you are, Peter! Peter!
And the good doggie.
Come, shake hands.
Come! You don't want to, huh?
He's got character, that dog.
You drank that all by yourselves?
Yes, Britta and me, all by ourselves.
But we left a little for you.
Oh, good.
No, we should drink together.
Right...
To our reconciliation.
Yes, let's drink to that, shan't we?
Peter, my boy, I want to...
Don't, I want to tell you something!
I want to have a serious word with you.
I see.
There's no need for us to fight over
the inheritance anymore.
Right?
Right. It will soon be yours, won't it?
Say, where...?
- You're still there? Good!
- Oh!
No, seriously! Wait, Miss Stumm!
The heir didn't win you over,
maybe this youngster can!
Now watch closely!
Uh, disgusting! Watch this!
It's too late, I already drank some.
Oh? Just a moment, my boy.
Just a moment.
"T o be read if my nephew Peter Frank
starts drinking before the time is up."
"My dear Peter,
you miserable rascal,"
I'm used to mischief from you,
but I really didn 't expect
that you 'd cast that inheritance
to the wind.
But at least it shows me that you
love wine more than you love money,
which proves that you are indeed
my worthy successor.
H ence, the inheritance shall go to you,
after all.
T ake care, my boy, and don 't squander
your fortune again.
"I won 't be able to help you next time."
TH E E N D
Ho I land Subtitlin g