Leaving Normal (1992) Movie Script
(GIRL HUMMING
TWINKLE, TWINKLE, LITTLE STAR)
(BABY CRYING)
-WOMAN: Fine. Be like this.
-MAN: There's no work here.
WOMAN: We've only been here a week.
Have you even tried?
MAN: When I say there's no work here,
there's no work!
-WOMAN: There was no work in California!
-MAN: California sucks!
WOMAN: Well, Idaho sucks!
Nevada sucks!
MAN: Hey, shut up. It all sucks!
WOMAN: Why do we ever go anywhere?
Why don't we just live in the goddamn van?
MAN: Look, I want to go to Florida.
WOMAN: Florida? Last week it was Montana.
MAN: Yeah, well, it's too cold in Montana.
WOMAN: I thought you wanted seasons!
MAN: Hey, if you're staying here,
you're staying alone.
WOMAN: Oh, great! Like you could
last a fucking hour without me.
MAN: Hey, shut up and get
the kids in the car.
Shut up and get off your ass!
(CRYING)
We're out of here.
I don't want to go anywhere else.
I want to stop someplace.
I don't want to hear about it.
Just get your stuff together.
No! No!
I want to stop someplace.
Come on, Marianne, let's go.
Don't worry, Emily.
Everything's gonna work out fine.
I know it is.
Please leave me alone, Marianne.
I know it is.
I know it is!
I know it is!
(WATCH BEEPING)
BUS DRIVER: Greyhound, American cruiser.
Next stop will be Chicago
with continuing service
to Davenport, Des Moines,
Omaha, Lincoln, North Platte,
Oglala and Cheyenne.
(CHEERING)
(SNORING)
MARIANNE: I never would've expected
ending up anyplace called Normal
or even falling for a guy like Kurt.
But I really think I made
the right choice this time.
Like, people think he's "Mr. Strong Guy,"
you know.
But he's not. He's actually...
He's really...sad.
And it's other things too, besides, like, um,
you know, his sense of humor, you know?
Like, I think it's unusual you know
when you meet somebody and...
And they just...
I don't know, they just really
make you smile, you know.
And sometimes
you aren't even sure why,
or have you ever wanted to like,
go someplace or do something,
something really big,
-something like get married?
-Oh!
And then the next thing you know,
you just find yourself doing it?
-Well, I don't know.
-No.
I don't think I'd do anything like that.
No.
KURT: Hey, Marianne, it looks like
your suitcase exploded in here.
Where'd you put my damn bolo tie?
I put it in the bottom left-hand drawer.
Huh! Hey, Kurt!
You've got your gloves in with the glasses.
(CHUCKLES) I mean, I like the
"alphabeticalness" of it and everything.
As a matter of fact,
we could just make this the "G" shelf.
I could put glasses and gloves
and get grapes from the fridge
and a gallon of goo.
What are you doing with my shit?
Oh, um, well, I thought it needed a bath,
so I took it out,
and gave it a walk
and I thought I'd bathe it...
Oh!
(PLATES SHATTERING)
What the hell are you yapping about?
You got any idea what time it is?
I mean, they're gonna be here at eight.
Besides, shit's just shit. It...
(SIGHS)
You don't need to change anything.
Look, I'm, uh...
I'm sorry. I...
I just thought things were gonna be different
when you got here, that's all.
I don't know. Maybe I was just...
Dreaming or something, I don't know.
Look, I'm apologizing here!
It's not like that's a real easy
thing for me to do.
I know, I know. I'm... I'm sorry.
It's okay.
Oh, also, uh...
"Flan?"
Huh?
F-L-A-N. Flan.
Last week, uh, Lloyd Markham,
the man I work for,
he mentioned he liked it.
I thought...
I... I don't know what that is.
Sorry.
(SOBS)
(EXHALES)
KURT: Marianne?
Marianne, where'd you put the checks?
Marianne?
Marianne!
God damn it, Marianne,
where the hell are you?
Marianne!
DARLY: (WHISTLES)
Okay, listen up.
All you needle dicks
can just kiss my ass
because my ship
has finally come in.
And I'm sailing the fuck outta here!
Darly, come.
Danny, you gotta know by now,
it's gonna take more than two fingers
to make me come.
(LAUGHING)
Oh, man, I'm in a good mood,
I'm telling you!
You better watch out.
(LAUGHS)
Oh, Ellen, Ellen!
Hang on one second, okay?
I got something for you.
Just... Just one second, okay?
Um...
Look, um...
I know this is, yeah,
it's kinda weird, but, um...
I figured that I'd say
I'm sorry, you know.
That thing with Carl,
I should have known better.
Anyways, I brought you something.
I figured, you know, what the hell?
I'm leaving, I may as well, uh,
I don't know, seal the cracks or something.
Here. Look at it.
Oh!
I got it a long time ago.
It's, uh, it's an Eskimo thing.
It's a bone carving,
a whale bone, I don't know.
Well, they, they do that sort of thing there.
They carve bones, you know.
Save it, Darly.
I don't need anything to remember you by.
(MOCKING) I don't need anything
to remember you by.
They're closing.
Excuse me.
Sorry.
-Well, Alec.
-Darly.
-It's been real.
-See you, Carol.
Oh. Wait, Darly, dance with me.
God damn it, Danny,
you know I don't dance.
I'm sure as hell
not going to start now!
Darly, I don't feel so good.
All right, come on.
(GRUNTS)
Ooh, nice buns.
Danny, a week from now, these nice buns
will be toasting by a warm fire
in a little house
in goddamn fucking Alaska!
Hey, Charlie.
Danny, this is Charlie.
-Charlie.
-Danny.
-Nice to meet ya.
-Adis, amigos.
Adis, shithole! (LAUGHS)
If you're waiting for the brown line to Cresske,
you got about, oh, seven hours or so.
(WATCH BEEPING)
You okay?
(WATCH BEEPING)
You lost or something?
Aw, it's probably something personal, right?
Probably none of my business.
Yeah, I guess so.
I don't know.
So what is it?
Dog die? Huh?
Cat?
A guy perhaps?
That's wishful thinking.
(SIGHS) You make a mistake?
(SOBBING)
DARLY: I don't care
how much pain the guy's in,
I mean, why does that mean
you gotta take all the shit for it?
Yeah, I know, but what I'm saying is...
Besides, I thought flan was something
you coughed up when you were sick.
You know like...
(CLEARING THROAT)
No, that's phlegm.
Flan's a Mexican...
Marianne, I'm kidding.
-Oh! I get it.
-Yeah.
This is really nice of you to do this.
I don't know what I would have done...
Nah, it's fine!
I figured 15 cents per mile, plus gas,
plus depreciation, plus...
I'm kidding.
Oh, oh!
Well, you know, if you want to,
I understand 'cause it's a long way
out of your way...
No, no, no.
Seriously, I mean,
what's 800, 900 miles among strangers?
612 actually.
Portland's 612 miles out of your way.
Gee, I'm gonna need to be
a little more specific on that one.
Oh. (LAUGHS)
Well, you see, my sister,
I told her I was gonna
be there by five tomorrow.
Well, I... It's really silly,
but I do this thing.
It's called triangulate the vectors.
See, where you, um...
Well, in fact, If you like, I can help you
triangulate your trip to Alaska.
-I could help you...
-Hey, I do my own triangulatin', okay?
Really?
Oh! You're kidding.
DARLY: So basically,
it had gotten to the point where
I had one friend left in the whole world, right?
So I made the wise, healthy choice
to go and screw her husband.
Twice.
A week.
For four months.
(LAUGHS)
Then as reward for my good behavior,
I got some good news.
I did. Somebody died.
Anyway, I finally got my house back.
"Native Alaskan land settlement, 1973."
Yeah, back then they were letting
Native Alaskans buy shitty land cheap.
I know, don't laugh. I'm part Eskimo.
It's my grandfather on my mom's side.
Oscar Tauq. T-A-U-Q.
Anyways, we ended up with a couple of acres,
started a house, but...
You ran out of money?
Well, let's just say I ran out.
But Joe kept it. Finished it.
But now, now he's dead.
(LAUGHS)
(SINGSONG) La-la-la-la-la.
I'm sorry. Do I seem...
I don't know. What's that word?
A total bitch?
Well, I was thinking more like insensitive.
Oh, yeah, maybe just a little.
Well, if I am, I'm sorry.
No, no. It's no problem.
But I hope you rot in hell,
you slime-suckin' bastard!
(LAUGHS)
Oh, God! I'm an asshole.
DARLY: Darly Peters and Marianne...
Hey, what's your last name, anyhow?
-Um, Johnson.
-Johnson.
Um, well, that was Kurtis.
-It was Trainer before that.
-Oh.
David Trainer, my first husband.
-Okay.
-But originally Shore.
Shore.
Actually, I was born Morrison,
but we all took Shore
when my mom remarried.
Which actually was Shuretski, but,
step-gramp wanted to be more American.
Darly Peters, plus one.
MARIANNE: Now, this is where
David Trainer and I split up.
Where I dropped
out of college the first time.
Here's where I joined
the army and met Kurt.
Um, his parents' house
where he proposed.
-Put a "X."
-"X."
No, that's kiss.
Put his, uh, a "Y."
Yeah, a big "Y."
Okay, then came nursing school.
Great idea, Marianne.
Omaha and Wyoming.
Then I met you.
We left Normal.
And here we are.
This is weird.
What?
-I don't even know you.
-Hmm.
And here you are
in a sleazy motel with me,
you slut.
Oh, well, see you around 07:00 a.m.
No, no, wait. Is it 6:52?
Is that right?
'Cause, let's see,
if we "vectorate" the triangle...
-Triangulate.
-Yeah, right.
Although, um, actually, um,
if the I-84 from Salt Lake
to Portland is a hypotenuse,
San Francisco to Portland,
Portland to Salt Lake would be the leg.
So then you'd square 811,
you'd add 650 squared,
so that would be, oh, let's see...
That would be 11 hours,
15 minutes give or take.
So, 6:45 a.m. Okay?
Sure. That'll be fine.
-6:45 a.m.
-(WATCH BEEPING)
(WHIMPERING)
(WATER RUNNING)
(CLEARING THROAT)
Can I, uh, get you some water
or something?
Cigarette?
What?
I'm kidding.
-A little joke.
-(CHUCKLES)
(GASPS)
Um...
Well, I guess I'll, um...
(CHUCKLES)
I'll be in bed.
I can't believe I'm here again.
I can't believe I'm here again.
I can't believe I'm here again.
What? Here?
No. Here. Here, here!
Moving around. Traveling.
I mean, how long am I
supposed to keep going?
Oh, I don't know.
Um...
Till you get there, I guess.
Get there.
Get where?
(RINGING DOORBELL)
Mary.
Hi!
How are you?
How's it going?
Okay, Julie, now if you can get the kids
in their PJ's and put the baby down.
I was going to make
an ice cream tart for dessert.
There's this ice cream tart thing we really like.
But then I remembered
you don't like ice cream.
-You still don't, right?
-No, I still don't.
-I don't know why, I just...
-Well, this is a new recipe.
-Tell me what you think of it.
-What is it?
Flan.
(DARLY CLEARING THROAT)
Excuse me.
Sarah, Julie's going out tonight,
so why don't you take
Auntie Marianne's friend, Darly,
up to Daddy's office and show her
where the sleeping bags are?
Oh! Maybe she'll even tell you
a huggy bear story.
Huh?
Oh. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Sure.
Oh! I'm sorry.
Okay!
Now, let's start at the beginning.
Okay.
Good night.
Marshall gets Spiderman.
Nope. Tonight you get Spiderman.
Come on.
I don't want Spiderman.
Okay.
Come on, kid.
You're being evicted.
No!
-Shit.
-You just swore.
-No, I didn't.
-Did too!
-Oh, yeah? What'd I say?
-Shit!
-Uh-oh!
-Uh-oh is right.
And for that, kid, no story.
Yes, Mommy said
we could have a story.
-She said we...
-Okay. Right.
Of course.
Ah, so, um...
There was this bear, honey bear...
Huggy bear.
Right, huggy bear.
-And he lived in the zoo.
-Forest.
No, the forest burned down
so the trappers sold him to the zoo.
-No.
-Yes, Sarah. I'm telling you life can suck.
See, then these horrible children came
and they fed him all this candy.
And his arteries hardened.
Well, after that, it's just not a pretty picture.
Okay!
You, Spiderman and I'm going
to have a cigarette.
Cigarettes are bad.
No, Sarah, cigarettes are good.
And, you know something,
when you grow up, you should smoke.
Mmm good! Cigarettes!
MARIANNE: I know you think I take
these things lightly, but I don't.
Like Kurt.
Well, we'd been writing
for over a year and...
Well, college, well...
I was getting good grades,
but I just didn't know why I was there.
I guess I just gotta figure something out.
Yeah.
Sure.
Now, Marianne,
this morning I talked
to Dusty Jackson,
our personnel guy.
Now, he's not really looking,
but as a favor to me,
he may be able to squeeze something in,
maybe as a floater or something.
What that would mean,
is getting an apartment in town.
RICH: We could get you started.
We'd work out a payback schedule.
It's not that we need
the money right now,
but in terms of your self-esteem,
and whatnot,
we think it's important.
There's one thing, Marianne,
we need to ask you
regarding this job.
They'd need a commitment from you
and we would too.
-RICH: This is important.
-EMILY: This is a chance for you.
There's a chance to get serious
about your life, about your goals.
Well, the point is, Marianne,
as much as we all want to be kids,
and Lord knows I play
racquetball twice a week,
softball on Saturdays, fast pitch,
but as much as I do,
I know that being an adult
means taking responsibility.
It means making choices.
I do make choices!
I'm always making choices,
just always making the wrong choices!
I mean, they feel like
the wrong choices afterwards, they do.
-I just don't know...
-Oh, screw those guys. Screw 'em!
You think deep down, underneath it all,
they're actually happy?
-Yeah, I do.
-Why?
Just because they got what?
Money, love, a lot of friends,
careers, a beautiful home?
Yeah, that's why.
Darly, did you ever do anything
you were certain you wanted to do?
I don't know, maybe.
I don't remember.
-Darly, I'm serious.
-So am I! I don't remember. Okay?
Hey, hey!
That's my happy cup!
-I can't... Emily...
-That cup-stealing bitch.
Took my happy cup. I can't...
I love this cup.
You know, they oughta make
happy stuff for adults.
You know, like clown eviction notices,
clown condoms, clown diaphragms.
-Yeah.
-Little smiles on 'em.
Oh, my God!
This place has "please, God,
don't make my son a fag" written all over it!
(GIGGLING)
Oh, my God.
Although I am not sure
spending the formative years
sleeping under a large,
sweaty wrestler will do the trick.
Shh!
(BOTH LAUGHING)
You don't have to stay here, you know.
I gotta stop someplace.
MARIANNE: When I was little,
we moved around so much
I never really felt like I had a home.
But Emily and me,
we always used to dream
that this was the way
it was gonna be.
A home, a husband
sleeping next to me,
kids down the hall,
lots of kids.
You know, big noisy holidays,
coats on the bed, happy faces.
A family.
You know,
I figured this was the way
it was always gonna be.
Do you know?
Darly, did you ever figure that?
You mean it's not always that way?
I don't know.
Maybe it is. Maybe you just need
special glasses or something.
-Darly?
-Hmm?
Um...
Is Alaska nice?
So what? Are you gonna get
in trouble or something?
-I don't know.
-So what?
She's your sister.
Is she gonna ground you?
Uh-huh.
She'll ground me,
she'll ground me.
So long, flan eaters!
-Look.
-What?
My happy cup.
-Marianne, you stole that!
-Well, it's mine.
It's mine!
DARLY: Okay, we got three choices here.
We can either take the mountain road,
or head across the 26 up the coast,
or just bomb straight up the five.
Or we could just cut off our heads
and make soup.
-Oh, sorry, it's just, um...
-What?
I don't know. I don't know
that I should be doing this.
-Oh, no. Oh, Christ.
-How do I know I'm not gonna be
making the same stupid
choices all over again?
-Doing the same...
-'Cause, well, 'cause...
Because you're not gonna be
making any choices.
How do you like that?
That way you're covered, right?
Here, here, wait.
Okay, long is the 30,
medium is the 26,
short is the five.
Don't look, don't look.
Now, fate will choose for us, right?
We are simply gonna have,
you know, whatever,
faith and then act accordingly.
Hurry up, these are getting heavy.
Don't look!
Now repeat after me.
Come on!
I, relative stranger, Marianne...
(LAUGHS)
Come on!
I, relative stranger, Marianne...
...do hereby acknowledge that
every choice I've ever made...
...do hereby acknowledge that
every choice I've ever made...
...has resulted in complete disaster.
...has resulted in complete disaster.
DARLY: And therefore,
until we get where we're going...
MARIANNE: Therefore,
until we get where we're going...
-...I will no longer choose...
-...I will no longer choose...
...a goddamn thing.
...a goddamn thing.
-(BACKFIRING)
-DARLY: Oh, shit! Damn it!
Why'd you go and pick
that cigarette for?
-But you said...
-Hey, Marianne, it doesn't matter.
With my luck, if you'd picked another one,
we'd have driven off a cliff.
Or, I don't know, been hit by a truck.
Or, I don't know, a meteor.
Okay. So? This is fine.
It was time for a little break anyway, right?
Right?
Okay, so fine! We'll go pick up
some coolant and come back.
You know what?
In fact, this is perfect.
It's our first fateful moment.
(LAUGHING)
Ah, fuck you, faker assholes.
Trust me.
You are not going to regret this trip.
(CHICKENS CLUCKING)
WOMAN: And who would've thought a little
housewife from Bellingham, Washington,
would have a law practice
that'd cover three and a half states?
(CHUCKLES)
So, anywho, what do you gals do?
Well, um...
I'm a, uh, a structural analyst, you know.
Architectural consultant,
that sort of thing.
And Louise, here,
is in mergers and acquisitions.
-WOMAN: Really?
-Yeah.
Judy's majoring in business in the fall
at Western Washington University.
-DARLY: Really?
-Louise, are you a monetarist or a Keynesian?
(CLUCKING SOUND)
I'm sorry, it's...
Oh, my God!
(CLUCKING)
(EXHALES)
(SIGHS IN RELIEF)
DARLY: I feel much better now.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
-Invisible "inshmisible"!
-You looked so funny.
You want to make a good impression, honey,
you stick with me.
It was so funny when you
were pretending to be a...
(CLUCKING) I nearly died!
You should've seen their...
Oh, man!
(SIGHS)
It's my car, man!
-Screaming mother of fuck!
-(CAR DOOR THUDS)
One piece of good luck.
I should've known.
I should've known
nothing good ever happens.
I just thought, you know,
finally, maybe something out there
was actually looking after me somewhere.
But, oh, no. No.
Guess I just wanted to see that house
too much to ever really get there.
-No, we'll get there.
-Oh, sure. No problem.
No, it's gonna work out.
You'll see...
No. No, no.
Things don't just work out, Marianne.
I mean, look at you, right?
-I'm still going, aren't I?
-Oh, yeah, you're still going.
You're a goddamn punching bag,
is what you are.
Down, get back up.
Down, get back up.
So what are you saying?
If life gives you lemons,
you make lemonade? Huh?
Well, honey, guess what?
Life hasn't given us lemons,
it's given us shit!
-Darly?
-What?
I have to at least act
like it's gonna work out.
Because, um, if I sat here for one minute
and looked at things
the way they really are...
Okay. Okay!
(EXASPERATED SIGH)
What are you suggesting?
Leon "Crazy Eyes" Pendleton,
and this here's my new truck,
"Solo Flyer."
DARLY: What a big, long,
thick red truck it is, Leon.
Oh, yeah. It's the biggest truck
on the road.
-Ain't that right, Harry?
-Yeah.
Of course, what does Harry know?
-Harry's a poet.
-Oh!
-Leon! No, I'm not.
-Yeah, yeah. I've read his poetry.
I read his poetry.
What is it, "Moonlight angel...
-"Moonlight angel in moonlit night?"
-Leon!
Something or other, blah, blah, blah.
"It's gonna be all right."
(LAUGHS)
Actually, I betcha it's pretty good.
You know, it's got some rhymes going,
some touchy-feely stuff.
It's poetry, you know.
-DARLY: Oh, wow, look at that.
-You like it?
-It's yours!
-What?
Take it.
-You want it?
-What woman wouldn't?
Thank you.
What's the matter, Harrison?
Something in my eye.
You should've seen what he had in his eye
when he was reading that other book.
What was it?
The Mouse Man or something?
Of Mice and Men.
The Mickey Mouse Club Book?
(LAUGHS)
-Gone with the Wind Mouse.
-(LAUGHS)
Oh, thank you.
Is it a sad book?
Ah, not so much sad.
No, it's just...
It... The... Um...
(SOBS) Oh, God.
I'm sorry.
No, it's okay.
-Here, you want this?
-No, no. All right.
Believe me,
I'm not usually this way.
It's okay.
I usually am.
Yeah?
Okay.
I am too.
If you move any slower, I'm gonna throw
a goddamn tablecloth over ya.
Hi. Excuse me.
Okay, I have a Jell-O.
-I have one fish special.
-Yep!
-I have two vegetable plates.
-Thank you.
I'm sorry. They did not have
the dessert item that you requested.
What? No flan?
I'm sorry.
MARIANNE: She was just kidding.
Excuse me.
Am I reading that correctly?
Yes, ma'am,
my name is indeed 66.
Well, actually the Christian name is Cecelia,
the diminutive of which is Cece.
Oh, which I sign as follows.
-MARIANNE: Oh!
-Hence the name.
Of course, you know juveniles.
In my youth, I was often derogatorily
referred to as 69.
Ha-ha.
Thank you very much.
Or most deleteriously as 266.
Why?
Because the human animal
is capable of untold cruelty.
Oh. Oh!
-Well, I'm sure they didn't mean anything...
-It's quite all right.
Because I love myself now.
If fact, were it not
the health concern that it is,
I would happily increase
my dimension twofold.
66, god damn it all to hell.
Excuse me, my employer beckons.
Okay.
Well, shall we? Harry? Harry?
-Oh.
-Excuse me?
Are you suggesting
that we say grace?
He cracks me up!
He don't even believe in God
and we go through this...
I don't know that
I don't believe in God.
I'm just not sure
that I don't believe in him.
So what the hell?
Let's cover all the bases, huh?
Let's...
All right, all right.
(CLEARS THROAT)
Dear Lord, or whatever
you prefer to be called,
if you actually are out there,
please bless this meal,
and these people...
Though we don't even
really know them.
And may they pass safely
and with your blessing
wherever they may be going.
If you're listening, amen.
DARLY: Amen.
LEON: Amen.
Whatever that even means.
So, girls, what do you...
What do you want to do next, girls?
Do you want to think about
maybe going up the road a little bit
or do you want to see about
maybe finding a place?
-(LAUGHS)
-Hmm?
(DARLY CONTINUES LAUGHING)
What did you promise that guy?
Nothing! I only implied certain things
that his wishful thinking gonads
perhaps interpreted as a promise,
-but it paid off!
-What?
I think we scored fairly well
for the evening, don't you?
Now, we split, they jack off,
we get a motel.
What? You're looking at me
like I got three heads or something.
-You were teasing those guys!
-Oh, come on, they deserved it.
Please! The mud flaps,
the girlie mug, the...
Come on, Marianne, just think of it
as a justly levied fine, okay?
Now, do you want
to go first or should I?
Out the window?
What?
What!
Big night.
For who?
For us?
(WHISPERING) Jesus Christ.
Can I trust you, Harry?
Trust what?
What are you talking about, Leon?
I've been married for 23 years.
I've only had sex with
one woman in my entire life.
Aunt Marlene?
Yes.
Why do you think I got the truck?
I just wanted a little...
A little...
A little p...
You wanted to sow some wild oats!
I just want to sow one f... oat.
And these ladies are...
Hot!
They're road ladies.
And the tall one loves me.
She loves me.
Oh, Leon.
Oh, I'm not so sure.
What do you mean?
What are you talking about?
I don't think they're coming back.
Bitches!
I gave her 100 bucks.
Goddamn prick-teasers!
You'll never get 'em back that way, Leon.
LEON: It was your fault.
They were spooked by the prayer thing.
HARRY: My fault?
The prayer thing, come on!
Oh, yikes! Go! Go!
-Why would you say that?
-I can't believe that.
(ARGUING)
Harrison?
Harrison? Harrison?
-What?
-Stop. Stop!
Now, I've revealed
something to you and I wanna...
I have to ask you
something in return.
No, I won't tell anyone.
You know, as males
we have certain urges.
I won't even tell cousin Janet.
Well, at least it would've been
nice to say good-bye.
Ah, you've got your
whole life ahead of you.
There'll be a million others
you can say good-bye to.
I love and approve of myself.
I love and approve of myself.
I love and approve of myself.
-Check, please.
-(SCREAMS)
Hi.
You dine-and-dashers cost me my job.
-What are you talking about?
-I'm so sorry!
-Those guys didn't pay you?
-You want us to talk to your boss?
No! What's done is done.
It's happened for a reason.
Now, positive steps must be taken.
(SCREAMING)
CECELIA: There. Now I shall return
to my search for true love.
DARLY: True love doesn't exist.
People just wake up and they get tired
of putting on last night's clothes,
and so they settle.
MARIANNE: It has to exist.
DARLY: No.
Otherwise, why would people spend
so much time looking for it?
It's just biology, you know.
But somehow the species
was worried it would die out
and so it created, I don't know,
what's the scientific word for horniness?
Concupiscence. A noun.
Lust. Strong sexual appetites.
Although what you attribute to the species,
I attribute to God.
Biology, God, whatever.
It all boils down to the same thing.
Now we all have babies
and the crap starts all over again.
Oh, yeah, it is so weird to me.
After millions of years,
this is what we've evolved into.
All this hullabaloo simply to perpetuate
a race of confused and frightened beings.
No shit!
Howdy. Wanna dance?
No, I don't dance.
-Wanna dance?
-I do!
Oh, God. Oh, I can't.
I have to go.
I have a landlord waiting for me
and I would love to dance
But, um, next time
I would love to dance, okay?
So next time, let's do it, next time.
Don't worry about him, 66.
He's a jerk.
Oh, it's okay!
I believe that there is one person somewhere
in the world meant for me and only me.
I haven't met that person yet,
but I believe I will.
Well, I'm dancing.
-Dream on, sweetheart.
-Darly!
Hi, I'm 66, short for Cece,
short for Cecelia.
-Would you like to dance?
-No, thank you.
-I'm waiting for someone.
-Oh, no problem!
-Hi!
-Hi. I'm injured.
Hi!
(LAUGHS)
Jesus!
MARIANNE: It was nice of you
to offer to let us stay.
DARLY: Yeah, and cheap
and penny-pinching of us to accept it.
(WHISPERING) Who is this person?
Darly.
-Oh, my God.
-DARLY: What?
"To Mary Ann,
I don't really know you,
"but I have a feeling
you would like this.
"I hope to have a chance
to discuss it with you.
"Fondly, Harrison L. Raney III."
God! These guys will
do anything to get laid.
Darly, I think it's sweet.
More than sweet.
Given the base, vile, selfish, petty,
competitive nature of the human animal,
I believe that any act of kindness
constitutes a small miracle.
There's a sofa
and a sleeping bag.
I'll see you when the sun comes up.
(SINGING) Bed is too small
for my tiredness
Give me a hill
topped with trees
Tuck a cloud up
under my chin
Lord, blow the moon out
Please
-Darly?
-Yeah?
I feel like we're kinda just,
you know, bouncing around.
I mean, what if we never
make it to Alaska?
DARLY: We'll get there.
MARIANNE: Yeah, but how do you know?
DARLY: Okay, so we won't get there.
MARIANNE: Oh.
Then what?
DARLY: Now the five is more direct,
but the nine is more scenic.
(BIRD CHIRPING)
Oh! Darn you, bird!
Jesus.
-Wait, Darly, look!
-What?
-Look. The bird chose.
-Oh, wow!
-Yeah.
-Well, thank you, bird.
Okay, five it is.
MARIANNE: Well no, no. Wait, wait, wait.
Uh, do we go where the bird went
or do we not go where the bird went?
-That's a good point. Okay.
-Yeah.
Odd, we go where the bird shit, five.
Even, we go where
the bird didn't shit, nine.
Okay. Heads...
Even, no shit, nine.
Tails, odd, no shit, nine.
Excuse me, I believe highway nine
is closed for flood repair.
Also I believe I am going with you.
Normally, I would ask,
but given your agenda,
I thought I'd do you a favor
and remove the opportunity to choose.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Okay.
DARLY: Come on,
you stupid bird, crap!
MARIANNE: Come on,
we gotta get movin'.
One little crap,
you stupid bird!
Never mind, never mind.
I got an idea!
-(CROAKING)
-Oh!
-MARIANNE: 542.
-So we enter Canada right...
(ALL SCREAM)
Bye, America!
Happy Fourth of July!
Hello, Canada!
CECELIA: Then, I worked as a security guard
at Marineland, Africa, USA.
Then I dug holes for the forestry service.
MARIANNE: Hey, that sounds like fun!
(SHRIEKS)
Your turn, Marianne.
Well, uh, in high school once,
I almost worked for 31 Flavors.
-That's it?
-Yeah.
My God, you're hopeless.
-Your turn, Darly.
-Okay, that's tough.
Uh, waitress, waitress, cocktail waitress,
waitress, waitress,
cocktail waitress,
cocktail waitress,
topless dancer, waitress...
Whoa! Hold the bus! Whoa!
-When?
-Alaska. 1971.
-Oh, the pipeline!
-You got it.
There was so much money
coming down from the hills,
and me and my girlfriend, we figured,
you know, what the hell?
You're gonna pay me to shake my tits at you?
Fine, I'm there.
Christ. A year and a half.
My sharpest memory is bending at the waist
to pick up folded dollar bills.
I was called "Pillow Tauq."
Yeah, Grandpa Oscar
would've been real proud.
Of course, I was completely
embalmed the whole time, so...
Excuse me.
-Sorry to interrupt.
-No, in fact, thank God you did.
This is from that skinny gentleman
over there in the cowboy hat.
Oh, terrific.
-No, the other one in blue.
-What?
(WHISPERS) The other one.
Oh, sorry. My mistake.
It's for...
Excuse me.
You are the most beautiful woman
I have ever seen.
Would you honor me with a dance?
(SINGING) We were waltzing together
To a dreamy melody
When they called out change partners
And you waltzed away from me
Now my heart feels so empty
As I gaze around the floor
And I'll keep on changing partners
Till I hold you once more
Though we danced for a moment
And too soon we had to part
In that wonderful moment
Something happened to my heart
So I'll keep changing partners
Till you're in my arms again
All my life I will never
She's been gone
for four and a half freaking hours.
(HORN HONKING)
CECELIA: Hi! Hi, you guys! Hi!
Good evening, Darly.
Good evening, Marianne.
I'd like for you to meet my fianc!
-Dan-Earl Spicy Jones.
-Please to meet ya.
66 has told me all about ya.
Spicy owns D.E.J. Spices,
Western Canada's third
largest spice and herb farm.
Hence the name.
And hence the odor.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
If you'd like the car and trailer,
I'd like for you to have them.
You're not the best friends I've ever had,
but you're certainly the most recent.
And in ways we've all yet to understand,
I have no doubt we've made
each other better people.
Well...
I do not believe in good-byes.
I do!
Good luck in Alaska.
It's been a pleasure.
Off to perpetuate the species, I guess.
Yeah, create some oddly
proportioned Canadians.
You know what's weird?
All this stuff about our fate.
It was her fate we were
affecting this whole time.
Yeah, we don't know what we're doin'
or where we're going
and she lives happily ever after.
Yeah.
MARIANNE: I wonder where
David Trainer is tonight.
DARLY: (CHUCKLES)
Grover Delmont.
MARIANNE: Grover Delmont?
(DARLY CHUCKLES)
My third grade boyfriend.
He'd be, what, um, 37 now.
Wow, I wonder if he still eats paste.
Brian Prestwick, my third grade, in Toledo.
Don G. Atkinson, fifth and sixth.
Yeah, I think it's my longest
relationship to date.
Izzy Bross. (LAUGHS)
Izzy?
Please.
He had this fuzzy red hair
and we called it happy hair.
I bet you did.
Uh, Bobby Woods,
he wore Jade East cologne.
-Oh.
-Oh, God.
Mark. Mark somebody or other.
He was a big guy, played football.
Um, Ronny Kemmer
and his brother, Chris.
Yep.
Mark Diantenedes,
Dick Pike,
Larry Nelson.
Jamie Cowan.
I actually liked him.
David Trainer
and Kurtis Johnson, ah.
-You're done?
-Yeah.
I'm still in junior high.
MARIANNE: I wonder who
they all ended up with.
You know?
I mean, don't you think it's weird?
They're all out there somewhere
watching fireworks.
(CHUCKLING)
You are the sappiest goddamn
person I have ever met in my life.
-No, I'm not actually.
-You are.
No, actually, I'm very cold.
(LAUGHS) Yeah, right!
No, it's true. I'm serious.
I must be something. I...
I met thousands of people in my life.
Not one of them stuck.
So? That's better than me.
They stick all over me.
I'm always pulling 'em off, you know.
Like flies!
Yeah. Yeah, well, I've said,
"Till death do us part," two times already.
Hey, I don't think I'm ever
gonna be sayin' it, okay?
I've never slept with anyone
I was certain I loved.
So? I don't think I've slept with anybody
I was certain I liked.
I'm not even sure if I love anything.
I'm not even sure if I like things.
Well, I know for sure
that I don't love anything.
How about that?
Darly, I've done horrible things.
Oh, yeah?
Why don't you tell me about it?
Well, I cheated on Kurtis once
before I moved in with him.
The last thing I said to my father was,
"Fuck off."
Yeah? Well...
I've wished my sister would die.
Yeah?
Well, I split on my kid
when she was two days old.
Ding! I win.
Palmer Valley Hospital.
It was, uh, 1973.
Alaska, remember?
She came out. She was...
She was all freaky. I don't know.
I was so fucked up.
You abandoned your own baby?
Excuse me?
-You...
-No, no, no, I'm sorry.
I wasn't sure if that was you who said that
or the little witch voice in my head.
I was... I'm just reacting.
Yeah, which is what I did, okay?
I looked at her and I thought,
"This is perfect, Darly.
"This is really perfect.
This is what you bring into the world."
The next thing I know,
I'm on the road.
And the rest, as they say...
Yep, this is who you're traveling with.
It's fun to share, isn't it?
MARIANNE: Darly, is Joe's house nice?
DARLY: Oh, God, who knows?
I wonder if he ever
put in the corner desk.
We had this argument once.
(LAUGHS) Argument.
I wanted this corner desk, right?
It's just this little desk,
just like, you know,
a place to sit down, that's all.
'Cause I figured, you know,
I'd come home from the world.
Right?
And I sit down and bam!
Pen, checkbook,
automatic letter opener, you know.
I'm takin' care of it, right?
I'm payin' the bills.
I'm keepin' us afloat.
Aw, fuck it, never mind.
No, no, no, if he didn't put it in,
maybe you could now.
You could be falling down a pit
into hell and you'd say,
"Well, at least it would be warm."
Well, here we are.
MARIANNE: Maybe we should have
brought some brooms and stuff.
Yeah, at least a mop.
I'm sure the roof'll be leaking in this mess.
Darly?
-Darly?
-What?
I just wanna say this.
I really appreciate your
letting me stay with you.
-Oh, shut up.
-No, I do, I really do.
Oh, shut up. (CHUCKLING)
What?
DARLY: Joe, you fucker.
You never even built it.
(SIGHS) Right.
It's perfect.
What on earth was I thinking?
Are you sure this is the place?
Oh, yeah. It's exactly the place.
It's exactly the same goddamn place
as the day I left it!
Thanks, Joe!
Our garden.
Note the geraniums.
They're beautiful this time of year,
aren't they?
And this is the porch swing,
where we enjoy the aurora borealis.
And this is the foyer.
Now, is it pronounced foyer or "foyay?"
Well, in any case, it's lovely, isn't it?
And there is my
beautiful corner desk.
So it, uh, it looks like
someone's been using it.
(SIGHS) Fuck me.
Well, maybe we could think of it like...
A kind of a fixer-upper, you know...
Marianne, just shut up with
that positive shit, okay?
I'm sorry.
-Stop apologizing!
-Okay! I am trying!
Oh, it's so light out still.
What time is it?
(DARLY LAUGHING)
(SIGHING) What was I expecting?
(CONTINUES LAUGHING)
-You thought that, um...
-I don't know what I thought.
I mean, I knew she wouldn't be here.
I knew that.
Oh.
I just thought, you know, maybe...
But I knew Joe never wanted kids.
I mean I knew he'd split the second I did.
(SIGHS) I knew she could be
anywhere in the whole
goddamn world but here.
It's just, uh...
It just would have been
nice to know she was okay, you know,
that she was someplace good, that's all.
Ah, fuck it. Forget about it.
When I went to Normal,
even though I wouldn't
admit it to myself,
I, uh...
...had this feeling like things
weren't gonna work out with Kurt.
(CHUCKLES)
And you went anyway.
Yeah, I did.
Why?
I don't know.
Hope, maybe.
-(CLATTERING)
-(GASPS) What was that?
Jesus Christ.
What the fuck?
Ah, it's just kids.
Maybe, I don't know,
maybe we could find out about her.
I can't get used to
all this light on me all the time.
We've come this far, right?
-Darly?
-I hear you.
I'm standing right next to you.
You don't think I hear you?
What's the matter with you?
I mean, you never know, right?
(BABY CRYING)
(CLEARING THROAT)
Yes?
Uh, I, um...
I left my daughter in postpartum.
Uh-huh, and when was that?
Oh, about 18 years ago.
You think she might still be here?
I don't understand.
You left your daughter...
Circumstances were such...
Yeah, yeah, I ditched her here.
This, this isn't real easy for me, okay?
Oh, look, I'm actually shaking a little bit here.
You abandoned your daughter.
She was wondering...
I mean, we were wondering if there's
any way to find out any information at all.
You know, like if she's okay, you know?
If she was adopted?
You know, what kind of family?
Anything?
I'm sorry, those records
are not public domain.
And even if they were,
by abandoning the child,
she's forfeited any rights she may have had
to them in the first place.
There is an address she could write to
to try and make contact.
But the daughter would have
to write as well, independently.
The chances of that happening,
of both of them doing so...
Do you understand what
I'm trying to say?
This is really getting stupid, Mary.
The time to look would have been
18 years ago.
DARLY: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
"Maybe we can find out."
Well, we found out, didn't we?
Well, we found out that
maybe we won't find out.
Yeah, thanks for the fucking news.
Well, so now what?
All right.
-Short cigarette, back to Normal.
-What are you doing?
Medium cigarette, back to sister Emily's.
Long cigarette,
we throw darts at a map.
No, no, I don't... I don't... No.
-Come on, come on.
-I don't wanna do this.
It doesn't... I don't know.
It doesn't feel right, right now.
Oh, okay, fine.
How would you like to do it then?
Well, I don't know that
we should do anything.
We're not sticking' around here,
that's for sure.
Well, we can't just leave.
What are you talking about?
Of course, we can just leave.
All we have to do is get in the fucking car
and get out of here.
No. We don't have any money.
I don't know if you've checked recently,
but we have exactly $65.32 to our name.
Oh!
Christ, I'm 27.
Hell, you're... You're 38?
God, don't you even care?
-No, I don't care, Emily.
-Don't call me Emily.
Then don't act like her.
Okay! Fine.
Fine.
Okay.
Collect.
My name is Marianne.
Kurtis?
Uh, I want my ring back.
No, you... No, Kurt...
I, um, took it off
when I was doing the dishes.
I think it's on the windowsill, but...
Because, I'm ask...
Because I'm asking you
to send it, that's why.
And because I want the things...
I... I need the cash, okay?
Because it's mine.
Because... Because it's mine.
And I want the things that are mine
here with me.
Be... Kurtis!
Kurtis, I paid for
the damn thing anyway, okay?
Avenue 49, Palmer Valley, Alaska!
G... K...
Because you will.
Because I know, I know...
Somewhere inside of you
there's a shred of decency.
And you...
Goddamnit! Kurtis!
I'm only asking you to send me
my own god damn fucking stuff!
Oh! God, I know him.
He won't send it.
(EXHALES) Okay, fine, fine.
(YELLING)
God! I married him!
What is my problem?
Okay!
Fine, let's see,
here's what we're gonna do.
What do we need, a thousand maybe,
to get somewhere else?
Darly?
Uh, uh, I don't know.
Yeah, 500 apiece, sure.
500, okay, um, give me your keys.
What? What are you doing?
I don't know, I don't know!
I... I... I...
Huh! I think we need
some money or something.
And then, after that
we'll figure out the next step, okay?
Keys.
Please.
I feel like I'm hanging
by a thread here.
You mean to tell me you've lived
in seven cities in the last seven years
and you've never had a job?
Um, well, not one
that's paid me money.
So what skills could you actually bring?
None.
I can bring no skills.
Um, uh...
But, uh, in the army,
I learned a little bit of electricity.
And, uh...
Oh, oh, once I helped
my friend, David Trainer,
put in this horse-feeding thing.
Bes...
Besides if it doesn't work out,
you can always fire me.
I'm sorry. I...
MARIANNE: I got a job!
Geez, whenever
I told anybody they could fire me,
they always just did.
So what about you?
Did you?
Yeah, there was a sign up here
at this eternity bar.
I tried to go in, I did,
but the thought of another waitress job...
-I'm sorry, I just...
-Well, maybe you can find something else?
What would you like to do?
I know, I'll be Pillow Tauq again.
How about that?
Darly, we have to be serious now.
Okay, okay, you want serious?
Get some money and get the hell out of here.
Christ, those kids again.
-Hi there.
-Hey! What are you doing?
You have to leave, ladies.
You're on our property.
-Oh, yeah?
-Well, actually this is our property.
Or it's hers. She owns all of this.
Since when?
Since 18 years.
(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
-What are they saying?
-I don't know.
Prove it.
Read it and weep.
He can't read, so it don't matter
if you show it to him.
Oh, yeah?
(DOOR CLOSES)
DARLY: This is yours?
CLYDE: Our father has friends.
Haven't been around in a while.
Where's your father?
He's in jail.
Stole some things.
Hmm-hmm, great.
(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
You ladies aren't gonna
kick us out, are ya?
Marianne.
No, uh-uh, no way.
We are not gettin' into this.
Into what? They're kids.
Oh, yeah. And we're doing a good job
takin' care of ourselves, aren't we?
So what are you gonna do?
Just kick 'em out?
Uh-huh.
Mmm-hmm.
I'll tell you what.
We'll make you a deal.
(HORN HONKING)
(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
Hey, the lady.
Hi, Darly!
Hi, honey, I'm home.
Hi, kids, how was school today?
Darly, have you ever seen the mountains.
-I mean, the view?
-No.
It's really...
-Hey, you got work.
-Yep.
It was either the cocktail waitress job
or the brain surgery gig.
But I hear the tips are
really bad in surgeries, so.
Yeah, I'm really movin' up
in the world, right, kids?
I'm movin' north.
At least, I'm movin' north.
Ah. Wait till you wash.
It is $21.
-We'll be out of here soon enough, right?
-MARIANNE: Yeah, yeah.
(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
That's right.
You're having dinner with Mr. Rogers.
Hi, Mort!
Oh, um, I work in the hardware store.
You bought a bird feeder
from me yesterday.
-Oh, yeah, yeah.
-Yeah, yeah, Marianne. Hi.
-Bud.
-Bud, right.
-Melvin.
-Melvin, hi. I'm Marianne.
I work in the hardware store.
So, if you ever want some hardware
and you want to get it in a hardware store,
chances are you'll be talkin' to me.
Okay, well, uh, happy hardwarin'!
(HONKING)
-Hi!
-Hi.
-I got a package for a Marianne Ex-Johnson.
-Oh, that's me.
Thank you.
(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
Hey, guys, why don't you
go pull a weed or something?
"Marianne Ex-Johnson."
Unbelievable.
-Who him?
-No, me.
I asked him out.
Oh, wow.
That's that.
Oh, man, that's great.
What do you think?
75, 100 bucks for that? Mary?
"Please forward to Marianne Johnson
if she lives here."
Unbelievable, he even
mailed you your junk mail.
Oh, my gosh.
It's from Harry Raney.
-Harry from-the-truck Raney?
-Yeah.
He xeroxed it!
Geez. What does he have, a mailing list?
"Dear blank, I enjoyed
meeting you in blank city, blank state.
"I am writing you
because of your lovely pair of blanks."
(CHUCKLING) No.
"Dear Marianne,
"I have no idea
if you'll ever get this.
"But all I knew was
Johnson in Wyoming.
"And so I apologize to the 309
other Johnsons in Wyoming
"who receive this same letter."
Oh, my God, he wrote this letter
to every Johnson in Wyoming.
"In fact, if you're not the Marianne
who ditched us in a coffee shop
"off I-90 near Seattle,
"I'd appreciate it
if you stop reading now
"as what follows is an
especially embarrassing poem."
-Huh.
-Huh.
(LAUGHING)
Oh, it's bad.
Oh, his poem is really, really bad.
(CHUCKLING)
Oh.
-What's this, more poems?
-Oh, no, it's a letter.
-No, no, no, thanks.
-No?
Well, I'm gonna go take a walk.
"Oh, okay, Darly.
Gee, have a nice evening."
"Thanks, Mare, I will."
Oh, Christ, "Mare,"
I've done it. I've become Rhoda.
Oh, Harry, Harry, Harry.
Guess that lesson with Kurt
really sunk in deep, didn't it?
I'm gonna ask you
to apologize for that.
You're right. I'm sorry.
It's okay.
It's just, you know.
You're a very vulnerable person.
I just don't think you need
all the pain, that's all.
And what makes you so sure
it's gonna be so painful?
Okay, fine, forget it.
-No, I wanna know.
-No, no, no.
Seriously, forget I even brought it up.
Well, I'm off to work.
I feel I have to say this, okay?
Maybe I don't understand
because I've never been in love.
I'm not in love.
You know as well as I do,
it doesn't stand a rat's ass in hell of working.
I mean, here you go again.
All set to give everything up
to somebody you hardly know.
It's just a goddamn letter.
All right.
(SIGHS) I'm sorry.
No, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled...
No, no, no. You have nothing
to apologize for!
Oh, Christ, Mary, get a life.
(SIGHING)
-I'm scum, I'm sorry.
-You're not scum.
I am, I am, I'm scum.
I'm scum, I'm just scum.
Okay, okay, you're scum.
I'm what?
(CHUCKLING) Scum.
Oh, shit.
Want me to get you
something from town?
Some ice cream or something?
No, no, no, no, I know.
We hate ice cream.
Want me to mail the letter for you?
Okay.
-Thanks.
-Yeah.
Are you sure you don't
want to put a little heart over the "I"?
-See ya.
-Yeah.
(SIGHS)
Fucking Darlene. Geez.
(GASPS) Jesus Christ.
Hey, I know you.
I seriously doubt it!
NUQAQ: (READING) "She ran...
"Her clo..."
-"Clo..."
-"Clo..."?
-"Clothes?"
-Yeah.
Clothes.
What's that?
(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
(HOWLING)
Is the lady gonna
work with us anymore?
It's up to her, I guess.
How come she don't like it here?
I don't know.
Guess she expected
things to be different.
How come you like it?
I don't know.
I guess I didn't expect anything.
(SIGHING)
-Hi, Marianne.
-Oh, hi, Ceil.
This'll make the lady happy.
Oh, Claire, was that your kid
that came in yesterday
with those saggy
baseball pant thingies?
-Yeah, thanks for the pin.
-Sure, no problem.
Happy hardwarin'!
That's two bucks.
Came back just to see you.
Excuse me, I've got work to do.
-You don't think I know you, but I do.
-Oh, yeah?
You were my favorite.
I'd love to see you dance again.
Here's my card, Pillow Tauq.
I'd pay you.
You got the wrong person, man.
$100.
$200.
If you don't back off,
I'm gonna kick your nuts
through the roof of your mouth.
Come on, Pillow Tauq.
(GROANING)
Fuck you, asshole.
Hey, I only hit him a little.
Oh, come on, this is Alaska.
Hey!
Perfect, Darlene.
Okay. "Someday we're gonna
get the jack together.
"We're gonna have a little house
and a couple of acres...
"And a cow and some pigs
and live off the..."
Shh! Don't say anything.
"The fat of the land with each other
and have rabbits.
"Go on, George, tell what
we're gonna have in the garden.
"And how the rain in the winter
and the stove and how..."
Hey, "Gone with the Wind Mouse."
Oh, man, I've had it.
I hate small fuckin' towns.
Actually, they're building
that whole section out on the north end.
In fact, the store's been jammed lately
with people buying wood and...
It's empty.
-(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
-What?
-Come with us.
-What's going on?
Come on.
-Come on.
-What?
Well? Well?
-What did you do?
-This is our garden.
These are the geraniums.
Do you like 'em?
And this here is our porch swing
where we sit,
we watch the aurora borealis.
And this here over here, come on.
This is your desk.
Pen, checkbook, letter opener!
How much?
Oh, not all of it.
We've got 118 still left.
But that was our leaving money.
It's okay. It's okay.
Mr. Amaruk has offered me a promotion.
-A what?
-Well, not really a promotion.
It's kind of like an assistant manager
type thing, training thing.
Uh-huh, uh-huh,
and you agreed to it?
Well, I, uh, I told him
I'd think about it.
But you'd like to do it.
Yeah, well, I thought
we should talk about it.
Talk about what?
Well, I don't know. I'm not sure.
It's not like I figured all this out.
All what out?
I thought everything
was already figured out!
I thought we were saving enough money
and then we're gettin' the fuck
out of here, remember that?
Yeah, but it's just...
Where are we gonna go?
Ah.
(CHUCKLING)
So this is how it happens.
What happens?
Marianne gets an idea.
Army. Yeah, yeah, that'll be good.
Yeah, I'll learn a trade.
No, no, wait, college.
No, no, no, no, no.
Wait, um, I know.
I'll get married.
Yeah, wow.
I'll be Mrs. Kurtis Johnson.
No, no, I know.
Shithole, Alaska!
I'll stay there a while.
Why?
What on earth is here?
-Nothing yet.
-Yet.
I don't know.
Don't you think it could be nice?
How?
Well, we could do stuff to the land.
You know, fix it up.
Fix up the property.
Why?
Because, I don't know.
It's not like I've made
any decisions yet, you know.
But, um... This, uh...
Well, the town, it's really growing, you know.
-Yeah.
-And the air is nice.
-Nice, yeah.
-And it...
It... It feels good to me.
Well, so did everything else.
Where'd that get you?
Here.
(LAUGHS)
Oh, man, I don't fucking believe you.
I know. I don't believe it either.
I'm serious.
I don't know what's happened.
Except, uh, this feels different to me.
It's... It's like...
I don't know.
It's like I didn't choose any of this, you know.
This chose me.
It's like...
Like what? Like a fate?
Yeah.
-Like long cigarette, short cigarette?
-Yeah.
Right. Uh-huh. Well, guess what?
It's all bullshit.
The whole thing was bullshit.
We were just makin' it up
as we were goin' along.
Darly, how come you have
to shit on everything?
Oh, is that what I do?
Yeah! That's what you do!
Okay, fine, Marianne.
You stay, okay?
You stay, you pitch a tent,
you plant a tree, watch it grow.
I don't give a fuck what you do.
But I promise you, it's gonna turn into
Kurtis Johnson all over again.
No, uh-uh, this is turning into
Kurtis Johnson all over again.
Fuck you, Marianne.
No! No, Darly!
Wait, Darly!
You, wait!
-Look, I don't even know you.
-Wait!
You were just somebody
who needed a ride.
Fine, fine, I don't care.
Why should I care?
-You're right, I don't even know you.
-Excuse me!
We're two people that happened
to cross paths.
It's just... Darly!
Darly, wait!
Darly, don't go!
-Okay, all right, give me a reason!
-Don't go.
Because you said to me, leave bad things,
go towards good ones.
Right, that's what I'm doing.
-No, this is good! Here.
-For you!
No, it could be for you too, Darly!
-How?
-Because, because you have land here.
Because, Darly, because there's
someone here who cares about you,
who wouldn't be here
if it wasn't for you.
Who I'm gonna turn against me
sooner or later.
So, it might as well be sooner.
Save us both some pain.
Fine, that's your call.
Fine, and I'm callin' it.
Oh, here, take the land.
Use it well.
You're good at that stuff.
Me? I'm doing what I do best.
Darly? Darly!
Darly! Darly!
Darly!
Darly!
Just because you're leaving
doesn't mean you're not still
in the same goddamn place!
(CAR APPROACHING)
(DOOR CLOSING)
(YELLS)
-Oh!
-Surprise.
I got your letter.
Did I...
Did I come at a bad time?
(SOBBING)
It's okay, it's okay.
I can come back in a few months.
It's only a couple hundred miles
out of the way, a thousand tops.
Are you... Are you okay?
It isn't me, is it?
I mean, I couldn't have said
anything in this short a time.
No, it's... It's me.
It's just me.
-These are for you.
-Oh.
Thank you. They're really...
They're really lame.
I know.
Harry!
I got 'em about
400 miles back.
I kept thinkin' Eternity Bluff
is gonna show up any minute.
I bet this all is just going exactly
the way you were hoping, right?
Oh, yeah, I'm the undisputed
king of romance.
Oh, and, you know, Marianne?
Yeah?
-One other thing.
-Yeah?
I gotta go.
Huh?
-You see, Leon wigged.
-Uh-huh.
And so he and Aunt Marlene
went into some serious counseling.
So, so now I have the truck
and a whole route to fill.
In fact, God, I'm actually supposed
to be in Salt Lake as we speak.
And then Boise and Billings and Lincoln.
Hi, Marianne.
Hi, Harry.
Hey, uh, where's Darcy?
(WHIMPERING)
Oooh.
(APPLAUDING)
(LAUGHS)
Paradise.
(SINGING) Strange what desire
can make foolish people do
I never dreamed that
I'd meet somebody like you
I never dreamed that
I'd lose somebody
Yeah, um...
$500.
Yeah, that's right.
It's Pillow Tauq.
No, no, no. It's $500, firm.
Yeah, sure, for everything.
-I'm sorry you have to be going.
-Oh, yeah, me too.
But I was thinking since,
I don't know, since...
Darly's gone and Leon's gone.
And I'll be out there
by myself and whatnot,
I thought maybe,
if you're not doing anything,
maybe you'd like to come with me.
You want me to come with you?
Yeah, it would be great,
don't you think?
Oh, yeah, that would be...
That would be great.
-I could teach you to drive.
-Yeah.
I could read to you
and everything would be...
But, um...
No, I... I think... I, um...
I wanna stay here for a while.
-Oh.
-No, I mean...
I'd love to see you again.
I really would love to, but, um...
Can I keep on writing you?
Yeah, as long as you don't write
to every Marianne Johnson.
Well, I don't know.
I got all their addresses.
You!
Oh, here, I made this.
Thank you.
I'll be back real soon.
But probably not for a while
depending on my route.
But actually, you know,
if I triangulate the vector
using Houston as my apex,
I'd save, gosh,
almost 40 hours.
Time zones.
-Huh?
-Time zones.
Oh. Yeah.
-What?
-I drive a truck.
I can't believe it.
I know exactly how you feel.
(HONKING)
Tequila.
Schnapps.
Schnapps.
Did I remember correctly?
Beats me.
Got the money?
Oh, yeah.
-500?
-Yeah, sure.
(SINGING) I can hear her heart beat
From a thousand miles
Reminds me of the...
I don't know.
Maybe I'm a romantic.
So?
Dance first?
For old times' sake?
-Mind if I, uh...
-No, go ahead.
Thought I'd help.
Don't stop dancing.
Joe's not here to get jealous.
You knew Joe?
Yeah, I guess I knew him
about as well as anyone.
I ran into him a couple of years ago
when he and his daughter were in town.
-Did ya see her?
-Hey.
No, no, no, did ya?
I'm paying good money here.
I don't want to talk about Joe Ryan.
Okay, fine, 400.
Why?
One question and I'll shave a hundred bucks.
-Come on.
-Then we?
Yeah, yeah, sure.
Deal.
So, um, did you see her?
Yeah.
-Was she, uh...
-You said one.
Fine, 350.
Was she, you know,
was she okay?
Yeah, I guess.
No, wait, wait.
What do you mean okay?
-You asked it.
-I know, I know, but was she, you know...
-Hey!
-Oh, Walt, come on.
Come on, just tell me, okay?
Come on, tell me, huh?
Two hundred.
-Fuck you!
-Hey!
Let go!
No! Stop!
-What's the matter? I thought you liked it.
-No!
If you dated Joe Ryan,
you like it like that!
If you do, that's fine with me,
'cause I'm getting sick of this.
Okay, okay, just wait, please.
Just one thing, okay?
Just describe her to me, okay?
Here, look, here's 200 bucks.
Hey, look, please.
Okay.
I don't know.
-She's cute, I guess.
-Uh-huh.
-She had dark hair.
-Yeah.
-Wore a little lace dress.
-Yeah.
She was a five-year-old
version of her mother.
Five?
But she's...
I mean, she'd be...
From Joe's new wife.
Hey, what is...
Where are you goin'?
-No, I have to go.
-Hey.
Where is the goddamn...
(SOBBING)
Oh, God.
Here, take this money.
Two hundred.
You, uh, all right?
You want me to call somebody?
You got a place?
A home?
(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
Cheer up, lady,
this place is gonna be good.
We're gonna make sure of it.
DARLY: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You, uh...
You owe me $13.50.
You know, in terms of what
you made versus what I made.
And what went into the place.
I, uh, I subtracted the desk,
which is mine.
Ah, anyway, also, um,
on the way home
I picked up this.
It's, uh, flan.
They actually make it in a can.
Of course, now it means
we're gonna have to get a can opener.
So, I did.
Oh.
I don't know. Maybe this is stupid.
-I bought you a can opener.
-No, it's not stupid, thank you.
Thank you, Darly, thank you.
No, Christ, Marianne.
Thank you.
Hi.
You know, if you guys keep staring,
we're gonna start kissing in a second.
(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
Blah.
(BABIES CRYING)
Oh, can I help you?
Hi.
Hello.
Hello, um, you mentioned an address
that you can write to if, um,
you know, where if by some chance
your kid happens to write too, you know,
there's, um, well, a possibility.
You know, the odds
of this are very slim.
About ten thousand to one.
I know.
Thank you.
If you want to fill that out here,
I'll be happy to mail it for you.
Yeah.
Okay. Thank you.
That would be great.
MARIANNE: Nuqaq, wait till I finish serving.
DARLY: Clyde, get your elbow
off the table.
Jesus, I just said
get your elbow off the table.
-Hey, language at the table.
-No, I say that to you.
-I don't want vegetables.
-He don't like vegetables either.
He don't like vegetables either.
Too bad, you gotta eat 'em, kid.
They give ya color or something.
-Okay, are we set?
-Yup.
Wait, wait, wait, a toast. Okay?
Glasses.
DARLY: Okay, here's to...
66 and Spicy.
-And to the frog and bird that led her to him.
-Yeah. Yeah.
And to Leon and Harry.
Who we never would have met
if your car hadn't been stripped on the I-90.
DARLY: Which wouldn't have happened
if you'd chosen a different cigarette.
MARIANNE: Which if you hadn't
taken me to Portland.
DARLY: Which if you hadn't been
on the bus bench that night in Normal.
MARIANNE Which if my second marriage
hadn't been such a mistake.
DARLY: Or if Joe hadn't
kicked the bucket.
MARIANNE: Or if I hadn't
joined the army.
DARLY: Which if your first marriage
had been what you expected...
MARIANNE: Yeah!
-A toast.
-DARLY: A toast.
MARIANNE: To nothing turning out
the way you expect.
Dear whoever,
if you're actually
out there somewhere,
please bless this home,
uh, family,
whatever the hell this is,
and please, um,
watch over those who, uh,
aren't here tonight and are...
Are out there somewhere.
And while you're at it,
even bless the people
we owe money to for this place.
And please just help us to, um,
keep going somehow.
Thank you and good-bye.
TWINKLE, TWINKLE, LITTLE STAR)
(BABY CRYING)
-WOMAN: Fine. Be like this.
-MAN: There's no work here.
WOMAN: We've only been here a week.
Have you even tried?
MAN: When I say there's no work here,
there's no work!
-WOMAN: There was no work in California!
-MAN: California sucks!
WOMAN: Well, Idaho sucks!
Nevada sucks!
MAN: Hey, shut up. It all sucks!
WOMAN: Why do we ever go anywhere?
Why don't we just live in the goddamn van?
MAN: Look, I want to go to Florida.
WOMAN: Florida? Last week it was Montana.
MAN: Yeah, well, it's too cold in Montana.
WOMAN: I thought you wanted seasons!
MAN: Hey, if you're staying here,
you're staying alone.
WOMAN: Oh, great! Like you could
last a fucking hour without me.
MAN: Hey, shut up and get
the kids in the car.
Shut up and get off your ass!
(CRYING)
We're out of here.
I don't want to go anywhere else.
I want to stop someplace.
I don't want to hear about it.
Just get your stuff together.
No! No!
I want to stop someplace.
Come on, Marianne, let's go.
Don't worry, Emily.
Everything's gonna work out fine.
I know it is.
Please leave me alone, Marianne.
I know it is.
I know it is!
I know it is!
(WATCH BEEPING)
BUS DRIVER: Greyhound, American cruiser.
Next stop will be Chicago
with continuing service
to Davenport, Des Moines,
Omaha, Lincoln, North Platte,
Oglala and Cheyenne.
(CHEERING)
(SNORING)
MARIANNE: I never would've expected
ending up anyplace called Normal
or even falling for a guy like Kurt.
But I really think I made
the right choice this time.
Like, people think he's "Mr. Strong Guy,"
you know.
But he's not. He's actually...
He's really...sad.
And it's other things too, besides, like, um,
you know, his sense of humor, you know?
Like, I think it's unusual you know
when you meet somebody and...
And they just...
I don't know, they just really
make you smile, you know.
And sometimes
you aren't even sure why,
or have you ever wanted to like,
go someplace or do something,
something really big,
-something like get married?
-Oh!
And then the next thing you know,
you just find yourself doing it?
-Well, I don't know.
-No.
I don't think I'd do anything like that.
No.
KURT: Hey, Marianne, it looks like
your suitcase exploded in here.
Where'd you put my damn bolo tie?
I put it in the bottom left-hand drawer.
Huh! Hey, Kurt!
You've got your gloves in with the glasses.
(CHUCKLES) I mean, I like the
"alphabeticalness" of it and everything.
As a matter of fact,
we could just make this the "G" shelf.
I could put glasses and gloves
and get grapes from the fridge
and a gallon of goo.
What are you doing with my shit?
Oh, um, well, I thought it needed a bath,
so I took it out,
and gave it a walk
and I thought I'd bathe it...
Oh!
(PLATES SHATTERING)
What the hell are you yapping about?
You got any idea what time it is?
I mean, they're gonna be here at eight.
Besides, shit's just shit. It...
(SIGHS)
You don't need to change anything.
Look, I'm, uh...
I'm sorry. I...
I just thought things were gonna be different
when you got here, that's all.
I don't know. Maybe I was just...
Dreaming or something, I don't know.
Look, I'm apologizing here!
It's not like that's a real easy
thing for me to do.
I know, I know. I'm... I'm sorry.
It's okay.
Oh, also, uh...
"Flan?"
Huh?
F-L-A-N. Flan.
Last week, uh, Lloyd Markham,
the man I work for,
he mentioned he liked it.
I thought...
I... I don't know what that is.
Sorry.
(SOBS)
(EXHALES)
KURT: Marianne?
Marianne, where'd you put the checks?
Marianne?
Marianne!
God damn it, Marianne,
where the hell are you?
Marianne!
DARLY: (WHISTLES)
Okay, listen up.
All you needle dicks
can just kiss my ass
because my ship
has finally come in.
And I'm sailing the fuck outta here!
Darly, come.
Danny, you gotta know by now,
it's gonna take more than two fingers
to make me come.
(LAUGHING)
Oh, man, I'm in a good mood,
I'm telling you!
You better watch out.
(LAUGHS)
Oh, Ellen, Ellen!
Hang on one second, okay?
I got something for you.
Just... Just one second, okay?
Um...
Look, um...
I know this is, yeah,
it's kinda weird, but, um...
I figured that I'd say
I'm sorry, you know.
That thing with Carl,
I should have known better.
Anyways, I brought you something.
I figured, you know, what the hell?
I'm leaving, I may as well, uh,
I don't know, seal the cracks or something.
Here. Look at it.
Oh!
I got it a long time ago.
It's, uh, it's an Eskimo thing.
It's a bone carving,
a whale bone, I don't know.
Well, they, they do that sort of thing there.
They carve bones, you know.
Save it, Darly.
I don't need anything to remember you by.
(MOCKING) I don't need anything
to remember you by.
They're closing.
Excuse me.
Sorry.
-Well, Alec.
-Darly.
-It's been real.
-See you, Carol.
Oh. Wait, Darly, dance with me.
God damn it, Danny,
you know I don't dance.
I'm sure as hell
not going to start now!
Darly, I don't feel so good.
All right, come on.
(GRUNTS)
Ooh, nice buns.
Danny, a week from now, these nice buns
will be toasting by a warm fire
in a little house
in goddamn fucking Alaska!
Hey, Charlie.
Danny, this is Charlie.
-Charlie.
-Danny.
-Nice to meet ya.
-Adis, amigos.
Adis, shithole! (LAUGHS)
If you're waiting for the brown line to Cresske,
you got about, oh, seven hours or so.
(WATCH BEEPING)
You okay?
(WATCH BEEPING)
You lost or something?
Aw, it's probably something personal, right?
Probably none of my business.
Yeah, I guess so.
I don't know.
So what is it?
Dog die? Huh?
Cat?
A guy perhaps?
That's wishful thinking.
(SIGHS) You make a mistake?
(SOBBING)
DARLY: I don't care
how much pain the guy's in,
I mean, why does that mean
you gotta take all the shit for it?
Yeah, I know, but what I'm saying is...
Besides, I thought flan was something
you coughed up when you were sick.
You know like...
(CLEARING THROAT)
No, that's phlegm.
Flan's a Mexican...
Marianne, I'm kidding.
-Oh! I get it.
-Yeah.
This is really nice of you to do this.
I don't know what I would have done...
Nah, it's fine!
I figured 15 cents per mile, plus gas,
plus depreciation, plus...
I'm kidding.
Oh, oh!
Well, you know, if you want to,
I understand 'cause it's a long way
out of your way...
No, no, no.
Seriously, I mean,
what's 800, 900 miles among strangers?
612 actually.
Portland's 612 miles out of your way.
Gee, I'm gonna need to be
a little more specific on that one.
Oh. (LAUGHS)
Well, you see, my sister,
I told her I was gonna
be there by five tomorrow.
Well, I... It's really silly,
but I do this thing.
It's called triangulate the vectors.
See, where you, um...
Well, in fact, If you like, I can help you
triangulate your trip to Alaska.
-I could help you...
-Hey, I do my own triangulatin', okay?
Really?
Oh! You're kidding.
DARLY: So basically,
it had gotten to the point where
I had one friend left in the whole world, right?
So I made the wise, healthy choice
to go and screw her husband.
Twice.
A week.
For four months.
(LAUGHS)
Then as reward for my good behavior,
I got some good news.
I did. Somebody died.
Anyway, I finally got my house back.
"Native Alaskan land settlement, 1973."
Yeah, back then they were letting
Native Alaskans buy shitty land cheap.
I know, don't laugh. I'm part Eskimo.
It's my grandfather on my mom's side.
Oscar Tauq. T-A-U-Q.
Anyways, we ended up with a couple of acres,
started a house, but...
You ran out of money?
Well, let's just say I ran out.
But Joe kept it. Finished it.
But now, now he's dead.
(LAUGHS)
(SINGSONG) La-la-la-la-la.
I'm sorry. Do I seem...
I don't know. What's that word?
A total bitch?
Well, I was thinking more like insensitive.
Oh, yeah, maybe just a little.
Well, if I am, I'm sorry.
No, no. It's no problem.
But I hope you rot in hell,
you slime-suckin' bastard!
(LAUGHS)
Oh, God! I'm an asshole.
DARLY: Darly Peters and Marianne...
Hey, what's your last name, anyhow?
-Um, Johnson.
-Johnson.
Um, well, that was Kurtis.
-It was Trainer before that.
-Oh.
David Trainer, my first husband.
-Okay.
-But originally Shore.
Shore.
Actually, I was born Morrison,
but we all took Shore
when my mom remarried.
Which actually was Shuretski, but,
step-gramp wanted to be more American.
Darly Peters, plus one.
MARIANNE: Now, this is where
David Trainer and I split up.
Where I dropped
out of college the first time.
Here's where I joined
the army and met Kurt.
Um, his parents' house
where he proposed.
-Put a "X."
-"X."
No, that's kiss.
Put his, uh, a "Y."
Yeah, a big "Y."
Okay, then came nursing school.
Great idea, Marianne.
Omaha and Wyoming.
Then I met you.
We left Normal.
And here we are.
This is weird.
What?
-I don't even know you.
-Hmm.
And here you are
in a sleazy motel with me,
you slut.
Oh, well, see you around 07:00 a.m.
No, no, wait. Is it 6:52?
Is that right?
'Cause, let's see,
if we "vectorate" the triangle...
-Triangulate.
-Yeah, right.
Although, um, actually, um,
if the I-84 from Salt Lake
to Portland is a hypotenuse,
San Francisco to Portland,
Portland to Salt Lake would be the leg.
So then you'd square 811,
you'd add 650 squared,
so that would be, oh, let's see...
That would be 11 hours,
15 minutes give or take.
So, 6:45 a.m. Okay?
Sure. That'll be fine.
-6:45 a.m.
-(WATCH BEEPING)
(WHIMPERING)
(WATER RUNNING)
(CLEARING THROAT)
Can I, uh, get you some water
or something?
Cigarette?
What?
I'm kidding.
-A little joke.
-(CHUCKLES)
(GASPS)
Um...
Well, I guess I'll, um...
(CHUCKLES)
I'll be in bed.
I can't believe I'm here again.
I can't believe I'm here again.
I can't believe I'm here again.
What? Here?
No. Here. Here, here!
Moving around. Traveling.
I mean, how long am I
supposed to keep going?
Oh, I don't know.
Um...
Till you get there, I guess.
Get there.
Get where?
(RINGING DOORBELL)
Mary.
Hi!
How are you?
How's it going?
Okay, Julie, now if you can get the kids
in their PJ's and put the baby down.
I was going to make
an ice cream tart for dessert.
There's this ice cream tart thing we really like.
But then I remembered
you don't like ice cream.
-You still don't, right?
-No, I still don't.
-I don't know why, I just...
-Well, this is a new recipe.
-Tell me what you think of it.
-What is it?
Flan.
(DARLY CLEARING THROAT)
Excuse me.
Sarah, Julie's going out tonight,
so why don't you take
Auntie Marianne's friend, Darly,
up to Daddy's office and show her
where the sleeping bags are?
Oh! Maybe she'll even tell you
a huggy bear story.
Huh?
Oh. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Sure.
Oh! I'm sorry.
Okay!
Now, let's start at the beginning.
Okay.
Good night.
Marshall gets Spiderman.
Nope. Tonight you get Spiderman.
Come on.
I don't want Spiderman.
Okay.
Come on, kid.
You're being evicted.
No!
-Shit.
-You just swore.
-No, I didn't.
-Did too!
-Oh, yeah? What'd I say?
-Shit!
-Uh-oh!
-Uh-oh is right.
And for that, kid, no story.
Yes, Mommy said
we could have a story.
-She said we...
-Okay. Right.
Of course.
Ah, so, um...
There was this bear, honey bear...
Huggy bear.
Right, huggy bear.
-And he lived in the zoo.
-Forest.
No, the forest burned down
so the trappers sold him to the zoo.
-No.
-Yes, Sarah. I'm telling you life can suck.
See, then these horrible children came
and they fed him all this candy.
And his arteries hardened.
Well, after that, it's just not a pretty picture.
Okay!
You, Spiderman and I'm going
to have a cigarette.
Cigarettes are bad.
No, Sarah, cigarettes are good.
And, you know something,
when you grow up, you should smoke.
Mmm good! Cigarettes!
MARIANNE: I know you think I take
these things lightly, but I don't.
Like Kurt.
Well, we'd been writing
for over a year and...
Well, college, well...
I was getting good grades,
but I just didn't know why I was there.
I guess I just gotta figure something out.
Yeah.
Sure.
Now, Marianne,
this morning I talked
to Dusty Jackson,
our personnel guy.
Now, he's not really looking,
but as a favor to me,
he may be able to squeeze something in,
maybe as a floater or something.
What that would mean,
is getting an apartment in town.
RICH: We could get you started.
We'd work out a payback schedule.
It's not that we need
the money right now,
but in terms of your self-esteem,
and whatnot,
we think it's important.
There's one thing, Marianne,
we need to ask you
regarding this job.
They'd need a commitment from you
and we would too.
-RICH: This is important.
-EMILY: This is a chance for you.
There's a chance to get serious
about your life, about your goals.
Well, the point is, Marianne,
as much as we all want to be kids,
and Lord knows I play
racquetball twice a week,
softball on Saturdays, fast pitch,
but as much as I do,
I know that being an adult
means taking responsibility.
It means making choices.
I do make choices!
I'm always making choices,
just always making the wrong choices!
I mean, they feel like
the wrong choices afterwards, they do.
-I just don't know...
-Oh, screw those guys. Screw 'em!
You think deep down, underneath it all,
they're actually happy?
-Yeah, I do.
-Why?
Just because they got what?
Money, love, a lot of friends,
careers, a beautiful home?
Yeah, that's why.
Darly, did you ever do anything
you were certain you wanted to do?
I don't know, maybe.
I don't remember.
-Darly, I'm serious.
-So am I! I don't remember. Okay?
Hey, hey!
That's my happy cup!
-I can't... Emily...
-That cup-stealing bitch.
Took my happy cup. I can't...
I love this cup.
You know, they oughta make
happy stuff for adults.
You know, like clown eviction notices,
clown condoms, clown diaphragms.
-Yeah.
-Little smiles on 'em.
Oh, my God!
This place has "please, God,
don't make my son a fag" written all over it!
(GIGGLING)
Oh, my God.
Although I am not sure
spending the formative years
sleeping under a large,
sweaty wrestler will do the trick.
Shh!
(BOTH LAUGHING)
You don't have to stay here, you know.
I gotta stop someplace.
MARIANNE: When I was little,
we moved around so much
I never really felt like I had a home.
But Emily and me,
we always used to dream
that this was the way
it was gonna be.
A home, a husband
sleeping next to me,
kids down the hall,
lots of kids.
You know, big noisy holidays,
coats on the bed, happy faces.
A family.
You know,
I figured this was the way
it was always gonna be.
Do you know?
Darly, did you ever figure that?
You mean it's not always that way?
I don't know.
Maybe it is. Maybe you just need
special glasses or something.
-Darly?
-Hmm?
Um...
Is Alaska nice?
So what? Are you gonna get
in trouble or something?
-I don't know.
-So what?
She's your sister.
Is she gonna ground you?
Uh-huh.
She'll ground me,
she'll ground me.
So long, flan eaters!
-Look.
-What?
My happy cup.
-Marianne, you stole that!
-Well, it's mine.
It's mine!
DARLY: Okay, we got three choices here.
We can either take the mountain road,
or head across the 26 up the coast,
or just bomb straight up the five.
Or we could just cut off our heads
and make soup.
-Oh, sorry, it's just, um...
-What?
I don't know. I don't know
that I should be doing this.
-Oh, no. Oh, Christ.
-How do I know I'm not gonna be
making the same stupid
choices all over again?
-Doing the same...
-'Cause, well, 'cause...
Because you're not gonna be
making any choices.
How do you like that?
That way you're covered, right?
Here, here, wait.
Okay, long is the 30,
medium is the 26,
short is the five.
Don't look, don't look.
Now, fate will choose for us, right?
We are simply gonna have,
you know, whatever,
faith and then act accordingly.
Hurry up, these are getting heavy.
Don't look!
Now repeat after me.
Come on!
I, relative stranger, Marianne...
(LAUGHS)
Come on!
I, relative stranger, Marianne...
...do hereby acknowledge that
every choice I've ever made...
...do hereby acknowledge that
every choice I've ever made...
...has resulted in complete disaster.
...has resulted in complete disaster.
DARLY: And therefore,
until we get where we're going...
MARIANNE: Therefore,
until we get where we're going...
-...I will no longer choose...
-...I will no longer choose...
...a goddamn thing.
...a goddamn thing.
-(BACKFIRING)
-DARLY: Oh, shit! Damn it!
Why'd you go and pick
that cigarette for?
-But you said...
-Hey, Marianne, it doesn't matter.
With my luck, if you'd picked another one,
we'd have driven off a cliff.
Or, I don't know, been hit by a truck.
Or, I don't know, a meteor.
Okay. So? This is fine.
It was time for a little break anyway, right?
Right?
Okay, so fine! We'll go pick up
some coolant and come back.
You know what?
In fact, this is perfect.
It's our first fateful moment.
(LAUGHING)
Ah, fuck you, faker assholes.
Trust me.
You are not going to regret this trip.
(CHICKENS CLUCKING)
WOMAN: And who would've thought a little
housewife from Bellingham, Washington,
would have a law practice
that'd cover three and a half states?
(CHUCKLES)
So, anywho, what do you gals do?
Well, um...
I'm a, uh, a structural analyst, you know.
Architectural consultant,
that sort of thing.
And Louise, here,
is in mergers and acquisitions.
-WOMAN: Really?
-Yeah.
Judy's majoring in business in the fall
at Western Washington University.
-DARLY: Really?
-Louise, are you a monetarist or a Keynesian?
(CLUCKING SOUND)
I'm sorry, it's...
Oh, my God!
(CLUCKING)
(EXHALES)
(SIGHS IN RELIEF)
DARLY: I feel much better now.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
-Invisible "inshmisible"!
-You looked so funny.
You want to make a good impression, honey,
you stick with me.
It was so funny when you
were pretending to be a...
(CLUCKING) I nearly died!
You should've seen their...
Oh, man!
(SIGHS)
It's my car, man!
-Screaming mother of fuck!
-(CAR DOOR THUDS)
One piece of good luck.
I should've known.
I should've known
nothing good ever happens.
I just thought, you know,
finally, maybe something out there
was actually looking after me somewhere.
But, oh, no. No.
Guess I just wanted to see that house
too much to ever really get there.
-No, we'll get there.
-Oh, sure. No problem.
No, it's gonna work out.
You'll see...
No. No, no.
Things don't just work out, Marianne.
I mean, look at you, right?
-I'm still going, aren't I?
-Oh, yeah, you're still going.
You're a goddamn punching bag,
is what you are.
Down, get back up.
Down, get back up.
So what are you saying?
If life gives you lemons,
you make lemonade? Huh?
Well, honey, guess what?
Life hasn't given us lemons,
it's given us shit!
-Darly?
-What?
I have to at least act
like it's gonna work out.
Because, um, if I sat here for one minute
and looked at things
the way they really are...
Okay. Okay!
(EXASPERATED SIGH)
What are you suggesting?
Leon "Crazy Eyes" Pendleton,
and this here's my new truck,
"Solo Flyer."
DARLY: What a big, long,
thick red truck it is, Leon.
Oh, yeah. It's the biggest truck
on the road.
-Ain't that right, Harry?
-Yeah.
Of course, what does Harry know?
-Harry's a poet.
-Oh!
-Leon! No, I'm not.
-Yeah, yeah. I've read his poetry.
I read his poetry.
What is it, "Moonlight angel...
-"Moonlight angel in moonlit night?"
-Leon!
Something or other, blah, blah, blah.
"It's gonna be all right."
(LAUGHS)
Actually, I betcha it's pretty good.
You know, it's got some rhymes going,
some touchy-feely stuff.
It's poetry, you know.
-DARLY: Oh, wow, look at that.
-You like it?
-It's yours!
-What?
Take it.
-You want it?
-What woman wouldn't?
Thank you.
What's the matter, Harrison?
Something in my eye.
You should've seen what he had in his eye
when he was reading that other book.
What was it?
The Mouse Man or something?
Of Mice and Men.
The Mickey Mouse Club Book?
(LAUGHS)
-Gone with the Wind Mouse.
-(LAUGHS)
Oh, thank you.
Is it a sad book?
Ah, not so much sad.
No, it's just...
It... The... Um...
(SOBS) Oh, God.
I'm sorry.
No, it's okay.
-Here, you want this?
-No, no. All right.
Believe me,
I'm not usually this way.
It's okay.
I usually am.
Yeah?
Okay.
I am too.
If you move any slower, I'm gonna throw
a goddamn tablecloth over ya.
Hi. Excuse me.
Okay, I have a Jell-O.
-I have one fish special.
-Yep!
-I have two vegetable plates.
-Thank you.
I'm sorry. They did not have
the dessert item that you requested.
What? No flan?
I'm sorry.
MARIANNE: She was just kidding.
Excuse me.
Am I reading that correctly?
Yes, ma'am,
my name is indeed 66.
Well, actually the Christian name is Cecelia,
the diminutive of which is Cece.
Oh, which I sign as follows.
-MARIANNE: Oh!
-Hence the name.
Of course, you know juveniles.
In my youth, I was often derogatorily
referred to as 69.
Ha-ha.
Thank you very much.
Or most deleteriously as 266.
Why?
Because the human animal
is capable of untold cruelty.
Oh. Oh!
-Well, I'm sure they didn't mean anything...
-It's quite all right.
Because I love myself now.
If fact, were it not
the health concern that it is,
I would happily increase
my dimension twofold.
66, god damn it all to hell.
Excuse me, my employer beckons.
Okay.
Well, shall we? Harry? Harry?
-Oh.
-Excuse me?
Are you suggesting
that we say grace?
He cracks me up!
He don't even believe in God
and we go through this...
I don't know that
I don't believe in God.
I'm just not sure
that I don't believe in him.
So what the hell?
Let's cover all the bases, huh?
Let's...
All right, all right.
(CLEARS THROAT)
Dear Lord, or whatever
you prefer to be called,
if you actually are out there,
please bless this meal,
and these people...
Though we don't even
really know them.
And may they pass safely
and with your blessing
wherever they may be going.
If you're listening, amen.
DARLY: Amen.
LEON: Amen.
Whatever that even means.
So, girls, what do you...
What do you want to do next, girls?
Do you want to think about
maybe going up the road a little bit
or do you want to see about
maybe finding a place?
-(LAUGHS)
-Hmm?
(DARLY CONTINUES LAUGHING)
What did you promise that guy?
Nothing! I only implied certain things
that his wishful thinking gonads
perhaps interpreted as a promise,
-but it paid off!
-What?
I think we scored fairly well
for the evening, don't you?
Now, we split, they jack off,
we get a motel.
What? You're looking at me
like I got three heads or something.
-You were teasing those guys!
-Oh, come on, they deserved it.
Please! The mud flaps,
the girlie mug, the...
Come on, Marianne, just think of it
as a justly levied fine, okay?
Now, do you want
to go first or should I?
Out the window?
What?
What!
Big night.
For who?
For us?
(WHISPERING) Jesus Christ.
Can I trust you, Harry?
Trust what?
What are you talking about, Leon?
I've been married for 23 years.
I've only had sex with
one woman in my entire life.
Aunt Marlene?
Yes.
Why do you think I got the truck?
I just wanted a little...
A little...
A little p...
You wanted to sow some wild oats!
I just want to sow one f... oat.
And these ladies are...
Hot!
They're road ladies.
And the tall one loves me.
She loves me.
Oh, Leon.
Oh, I'm not so sure.
What do you mean?
What are you talking about?
I don't think they're coming back.
Bitches!
I gave her 100 bucks.
Goddamn prick-teasers!
You'll never get 'em back that way, Leon.
LEON: It was your fault.
They were spooked by the prayer thing.
HARRY: My fault?
The prayer thing, come on!
Oh, yikes! Go! Go!
-Why would you say that?
-I can't believe that.
(ARGUING)
Harrison?
Harrison? Harrison?
-What?
-Stop. Stop!
Now, I've revealed
something to you and I wanna...
I have to ask you
something in return.
No, I won't tell anyone.
You know, as males
we have certain urges.
I won't even tell cousin Janet.
Well, at least it would've been
nice to say good-bye.
Ah, you've got your
whole life ahead of you.
There'll be a million others
you can say good-bye to.
I love and approve of myself.
I love and approve of myself.
I love and approve of myself.
-Check, please.
-(SCREAMS)
Hi.
You dine-and-dashers cost me my job.
-What are you talking about?
-I'm so sorry!
-Those guys didn't pay you?
-You want us to talk to your boss?
No! What's done is done.
It's happened for a reason.
Now, positive steps must be taken.
(SCREAMING)
CECELIA: There. Now I shall return
to my search for true love.
DARLY: True love doesn't exist.
People just wake up and they get tired
of putting on last night's clothes,
and so they settle.
MARIANNE: It has to exist.
DARLY: No.
Otherwise, why would people spend
so much time looking for it?
It's just biology, you know.
But somehow the species
was worried it would die out
and so it created, I don't know,
what's the scientific word for horniness?
Concupiscence. A noun.
Lust. Strong sexual appetites.
Although what you attribute to the species,
I attribute to God.
Biology, God, whatever.
It all boils down to the same thing.
Now we all have babies
and the crap starts all over again.
Oh, yeah, it is so weird to me.
After millions of years,
this is what we've evolved into.
All this hullabaloo simply to perpetuate
a race of confused and frightened beings.
No shit!
Howdy. Wanna dance?
No, I don't dance.
-Wanna dance?
-I do!
Oh, God. Oh, I can't.
I have to go.
I have a landlord waiting for me
and I would love to dance
But, um, next time
I would love to dance, okay?
So next time, let's do it, next time.
Don't worry about him, 66.
He's a jerk.
Oh, it's okay!
I believe that there is one person somewhere
in the world meant for me and only me.
I haven't met that person yet,
but I believe I will.
Well, I'm dancing.
-Dream on, sweetheart.
-Darly!
Hi, I'm 66, short for Cece,
short for Cecelia.
-Would you like to dance?
-No, thank you.
-I'm waiting for someone.
-Oh, no problem!
-Hi!
-Hi. I'm injured.
Hi!
(LAUGHS)
Jesus!
MARIANNE: It was nice of you
to offer to let us stay.
DARLY: Yeah, and cheap
and penny-pinching of us to accept it.
(WHISPERING) Who is this person?
Darly.
-Oh, my God.
-DARLY: What?
"To Mary Ann,
I don't really know you,
"but I have a feeling
you would like this.
"I hope to have a chance
to discuss it with you.
"Fondly, Harrison L. Raney III."
God! These guys will
do anything to get laid.
Darly, I think it's sweet.
More than sweet.
Given the base, vile, selfish, petty,
competitive nature of the human animal,
I believe that any act of kindness
constitutes a small miracle.
There's a sofa
and a sleeping bag.
I'll see you when the sun comes up.
(SINGING) Bed is too small
for my tiredness
Give me a hill
topped with trees
Tuck a cloud up
under my chin
Lord, blow the moon out
Please
-Darly?
-Yeah?
I feel like we're kinda just,
you know, bouncing around.
I mean, what if we never
make it to Alaska?
DARLY: We'll get there.
MARIANNE: Yeah, but how do you know?
DARLY: Okay, so we won't get there.
MARIANNE: Oh.
Then what?
DARLY: Now the five is more direct,
but the nine is more scenic.
(BIRD CHIRPING)
Oh! Darn you, bird!
Jesus.
-Wait, Darly, look!
-What?
-Look. The bird chose.
-Oh, wow!
-Yeah.
-Well, thank you, bird.
Okay, five it is.
MARIANNE: Well no, no. Wait, wait, wait.
Uh, do we go where the bird went
or do we not go where the bird went?
-That's a good point. Okay.
-Yeah.
Odd, we go where the bird shit, five.
Even, we go where
the bird didn't shit, nine.
Okay. Heads...
Even, no shit, nine.
Tails, odd, no shit, nine.
Excuse me, I believe highway nine
is closed for flood repair.
Also I believe I am going with you.
Normally, I would ask,
but given your agenda,
I thought I'd do you a favor
and remove the opportunity to choose.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Okay.
DARLY: Come on,
you stupid bird, crap!
MARIANNE: Come on,
we gotta get movin'.
One little crap,
you stupid bird!
Never mind, never mind.
I got an idea!
-(CROAKING)
-Oh!
-MARIANNE: 542.
-So we enter Canada right...
(ALL SCREAM)
Bye, America!
Happy Fourth of July!
Hello, Canada!
CECELIA: Then, I worked as a security guard
at Marineland, Africa, USA.
Then I dug holes for the forestry service.
MARIANNE: Hey, that sounds like fun!
(SHRIEKS)
Your turn, Marianne.
Well, uh, in high school once,
I almost worked for 31 Flavors.
-That's it?
-Yeah.
My God, you're hopeless.
-Your turn, Darly.
-Okay, that's tough.
Uh, waitress, waitress, cocktail waitress,
waitress, waitress,
cocktail waitress,
cocktail waitress,
topless dancer, waitress...
Whoa! Hold the bus! Whoa!
-When?
-Alaska. 1971.
-Oh, the pipeline!
-You got it.
There was so much money
coming down from the hills,
and me and my girlfriend, we figured,
you know, what the hell?
You're gonna pay me to shake my tits at you?
Fine, I'm there.
Christ. A year and a half.
My sharpest memory is bending at the waist
to pick up folded dollar bills.
I was called "Pillow Tauq."
Yeah, Grandpa Oscar
would've been real proud.
Of course, I was completely
embalmed the whole time, so...
Excuse me.
-Sorry to interrupt.
-No, in fact, thank God you did.
This is from that skinny gentleman
over there in the cowboy hat.
Oh, terrific.
-No, the other one in blue.
-What?
(WHISPERS) The other one.
Oh, sorry. My mistake.
It's for...
Excuse me.
You are the most beautiful woman
I have ever seen.
Would you honor me with a dance?
(SINGING) We were waltzing together
To a dreamy melody
When they called out change partners
And you waltzed away from me
Now my heart feels so empty
As I gaze around the floor
And I'll keep on changing partners
Till I hold you once more
Though we danced for a moment
And too soon we had to part
In that wonderful moment
Something happened to my heart
So I'll keep changing partners
Till you're in my arms again
All my life I will never
She's been gone
for four and a half freaking hours.
(HORN HONKING)
CECELIA: Hi! Hi, you guys! Hi!
Good evening, Darly.
Good evening, Marianne.
I'd like for you to meet my fianc!
-Dan-Earl Spicy Jones.
-Please to meet ya.
66 has told me all about ya.
Spicy owns D.E.J. Spices,
Western Canada's third
largest spice and herb farm.
Hence the name.
And hence the odor.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
If you'd like the car and trailer,
I'd like for you to have them.
You're not the best friends I've ever had,
but you're certainly the most recent.
And in ways we've all yet to understand,
I have no doubt we've made
each other better people.
Well...
I do not believe in good-byes.
I do!
Good luck in Alaska.
It's been a pleasure.
Off to perpetuate the species, I guess.
Yeah, create some oddly
proportioned Canadians.
You know what's weird?
All this stuff about our fate.
It was her fate we were
affecting this whole time.
Yeah, we don't know what we're doin'
or where we're going
and she lives happily ever after.
Yeah.
MARIANNE: I wonder where
David Trainer is tonight.
DARLY: (CHUCKLES)
Grover Delmont.
MARIANNE: Grover Delmont?
(DARLY CHUCKLES)
My third grade boyfriend.
He'd be, what, um, 37 now.
Wow, I wonder if he still eats paste.
Brian Prestwick, my third grade, in Toledo.
Don G. Atkinson, fifth and sixth.
Yeah, I think it's my longest
relationship to date.
Izzy Bross. (LAUGHS)
Izzy?
Please.
He had this fuzzy red hair
and we called it happy hair.
I bet you did.
Uh, Bobby Woods,
he wore Jade East cologne.
-Oh.
-Oh, God.
Mark. Mark somebody or other.
He was a big guy, played football.
Um, Ronny Kemmer
and his brother, Chris.
Yep.
Mark Diantenedes,
Dick Pike,
Larry Nelson.
Jamie Cowan.
I actually liked him.
David Trainer
and Kurtis Johnson, ah.
-You're done?
-Yeah.
I'm still in junior high.
MARIANNE: I wonder who
they all ended up with.
You know?
I mean, don't you think it's weird?
They're all out there somewhere
watching fireworks.
(CHUCKLING)
You are the sappiest goddamn
person I have ever met in my life.
-No, I'm not actually.
-You are.
No, actually, I'm very cold.
(LAUGHS) Yeah, right!
No, it's true. I'm serious.
I must be something. I...
I met thousands of people in my life.
Not one of them stuck.
So? That's better than me.
They stick all over me.
I'm always pulling 'em off, you know.
Like flies!
Yeah. Yeah, well, I've said,
"Till death do us part," two times already.
Hey, I don't think I'm ever
gonna be sayin' it, okay?
I've never slept with anyone
I was certain I loved.
So? I don't think I've slept with anybody
I was certain I liked.
I'm not even sure if I love anything.
I'm not even sure if I like things.
Well, I know for sure
that I don't love anything.
How about that?
Darly, I've done horrible things.
Oh, yeah?
Why don't you tell me about it?
Well, I cheated on Kurtis once
before I moved in with him.
The last thing I said to my father was,
"Fuck off."
Yeah? Well...
I've wished my sister would die.
Yeah?
Well, I split on my kid
when she was two days old.
Ding! I win.
Palmer Valley Hospital.
It was, uh, 1973.
Alaska, remember?
She came out. She was...
She was all freaky. I don't know.
I was so fucked up.
You abandoned your own baby?
Excuse me?
-You...
-No, no, no, I'm sorry.
I wasn't sure if that was you who said that
or the little witch voice in my head.
I was... I'm just reacting.
Yeah, which is what I did, okay?
I looked at her and I thought,
"This is perfect, Darly.
"This is really perfect.
This is what you bring into the world."
The next thing I know,
I'm on the road.
And the rest, as they say...
Yep, this is who you're traveling with.
It's fun to share, isn't it?
MARIANNE: Darly, is Joe's house nice?
DARLY: Oh, God, who knows?
I wonder if he ever
put in the corner desk.
We had this argument once.
(LAUGHS) Argument.
I wanted this corner desk, right?
It's just this little desk,
just like, you know,
a place to sit down, that's all.
'Cause I figured, you know,
I'd come home from the world.
Right?
And I sit down and bam!
Pen, checkbook,
automatic letter opener, you know.
I'm takin' care of it, right?
I'm payin' the bills.
I'm keepin' us afloat.
Aw, fuck it, never mind.
No, no, no, if he didn't put it in,
maybe you could now.
You could be falling down a pit
into hell and you'd say,
"Well, at least it would be warm."
Well, here we are.
MARIANNE: Maybe we should have
brought some brooms and stuff.
Yeah, at least a mop.
I'm sure the roof'll be leaking in this mess.
Darly?
-Darly?
-What?
I just wanna say this.
I really appreciate your
letting me stay with you.
-Oh, shut up.
-No, I do, I really do.
Oh, shut up. (CHUCKLING)
What?
DARLY: Joe, you fucker.
You never even built it.
(SIGHS) Right.
It's perfect.
What on earth was I thinking?
Are you sure this is the place?
Oh, yeah. It's exactly the place.
It's exactly the same goddamn place
as the day I left it!
Thanks, Joe!
Our garden.
Note the geraniums.
They're beautiful this time of year,
aren't they?
And this is the porch swing,
where we enjoy the aurora borealis.
And this is the foyer.
Now, is it pronounced foyer or "foyay?"
Well, in any case, it's lovely, isn't it?
And there is my
beautiful corner desk.
So it, uh, it looks like
someone's been using it.
(SIGHS) Fuck me.
Well, maybe we could think of it like...
A kind of a fixer-upper, you know...
Marianne, just shut up with
that positive shit, okay?
I'm sorry.
-Stop apologizing!
-Okay! I am trying!
Oh, it's so light out still.
What time is it?
(DARLY LAUGHING)
(SIGHING) What was I expecting?
(CONTINUES LAUGHING)
-You thought that, um...
-I don't know what I thought.
I mean, I knew she wouldn't be here.
I knew that.
Oh.
I just thought, you know, maybe...
But I knew Joe never wanted kids.
I mean I knew he'd split the second I did.
(SIGHS) I knew she could be
anywhere in the whole
goddamn world but here.
It's just, uh...
It just would have been
nice to know she was okay, you know,
that she was someplace good, that's all.
Ah, fuck it. Forget about it.
When I went to Normal,
even though I wouldn't
admit it to myself,
I, uh...
...had this feeling like things
weren't gonna work out with Kurt.
(CHUCKLES)
And you went anyway.
Yeah, I did.
Why?
I don't know.
Hope, maybe.
-(CLATTERING)
-(GASPS) What was that?
Jesus Christ.
What the fuck?
Ah, it's just kids.
Maybe, I don't know,
maybe we could find out about her.
I can't get used to
all this light on me all the time.
We've come this far, right?
-Darly?
-I hear you.
I'm standing right next to you.
You don't think I hear you?
What's the matter with you?
I mean, you never know, right?
(BABY CRYING)
(CLEARING THROAT)
Yes?
Uh, I, um...
I left my daughter in postpartum.
Uh-huh, and when was that?
Oh, about 18 years ago.
You think she might still be here?
I don't understand.
You left your daughter...
Circumstances were such...
Yeah, yeah, I ditched her here.
This, this isn't real easy for me, okay?
Oh, look, I'm actually shaking a little bit here.
You abandoned your daughter.
She was wondering...
I mean, we were wondering if there's
any way to find out any information at all.
You know, like if she's okay, you know?
If she was adopted?
You know, what kind of family?
Anything?
I'm sorry, those records
are not public domain.
And even if they were,
by abandoning the child,
she's forfeited any rights she may have had
to them in the first place.
There is an address she could write to
to try and make contact.
But the daughter would have
to write as well, independently.
The chances of that happening,
of both of them doing so...
Do you understand what
I'm trying to say?
This is really getting stupid, Mary.
The time to look would have been
18 years ago.
DARLY: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
"Maybe we can find out."
Well, we found out, didn't we?
Well, we found out that
maybe we won't find out.
Yeah, thanks for the fucking news.
Well, so now what?
All right.
-Short cigarette, back to Normal.
-What are you doing?
Medium cigarette, back to sister Emily's.
Long cigarette,
we throw darts at a map.
No, no, I don't... I don't... No.
-Come on, come on.
-I don't wanna do this.
It doesn't... I don't know.
It doesn't feel right, right now.
Oh, okay, fine.
How would you like to do it then?
Well, I don't know that
we should do anything.
We're not sticking' around here,
that's for sure.
Well, we can't just leave.
What are you talking about?
Of course, we can just leave.
All we have to do is get in the fucking car
and get out of here.
No. We don't have any money.
I don't know if you've checked recently,
but we have exactly $65.32 to our name.
Oh!
Christ, I'm 27.
Hell, you're... You're 38?
God, don't you even care?
-No, I don't care, Emily.
-Don't call me Emily.
Then don't act like her.
Okay! Fine.
Fine.
Okay.
Collect.
My name is Marianne.
Kurtis?
Uh, I want my ring back.
No, you... No, Kurt...
I, um, took it off
when I was doing the dishes.
I think it's on the windowsill, but...
Because, I'm ask...
Because I'm asking you
to send it, that's why.
And because I want the things...
I... I need the cash, okay?
Because it's mine.
Because... Because it's mine.
And I want the things that are mine
here with me.
Be... Kurtis!
Kurtis, I paid for
the damn thing anyway, okay?
Avenue 49, Palmer Valley, Alaska!
G... K...
Because you will.
Because I know, I know...
Somewhere inside of you
there's a shred of decency.
And you...
Goddamnit! Kurtis!
I'm only asking you to send me
my own god damn fucking stuff!
Oh! God, I know him.
He won't send it.
(EXHALES) Okay, fine, fine.
(YELLING)
God! I married him!
What is my problem?
Okay!
Fine, let's see,
here's what we're gonna do.
What do we need, a thousand maybe,
to get somewhere else?
Darly?
Uh, uh, I don't know.
Yeah, 500 apiece, sure.
500, okay, um, give me your keys.
What? What are you doing?
I don't know, I don't know!
I... I... I...
Huh! I think we need
some money or something.
And then, after that
we'll figure out the next step, okay?
Keys.
Please.
I feel like I'm hanging
by a thread here.
You mean to tell me you've lived
in seven cities in the last seven years
and you've never had a job?
Um, well, not one
that's paid me money.
So what skills could you actually bring?
None.
I can bring no skills.
Um, uh...
But, uh, in the army,
I learned a little bit of electricity.
And, uh...
Oh, oh, once I helped
my friend, David Trainer,
put in this horse-feeding thing.
Bes...
Besides if it doesn't work out,
you can always fire me.
I'm sorry. I...
MARIANNE: I got a job!
Geez, whenever
I told anybody they could fire me,
they always just did.
So what about you?
Did you?
Yeah, there was a sign up here
at this eternity bar.
I tried to go in, I did,
but the thought of another waitress job...
-I'm sorry, I just...
-Well, maybe you can find something else?
What would you like to do?
I know, I'll be Pillow Tauq again.
How about that?
Darly, we have to be serious now.
Okay, okay, you want serious?
Get some money and get the hell out of here.
Christ, those kids again.
-Hi there.
-Hey! What are you doing?
You have to leave, ladies.
You're on our property.
-Oh, yeah?
-Well, actually this is our property.
Or it's hers. She owns all of this.
Since when?
Since 18 years.
(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
-What are they saying?
-I don't know.
Prove it.
Read it and weep.
He can't read, so it don't matter
if you show it to him.
Oh, yeah?
(DOOR CLOSES)
DARLY: This is yours?
CLYDE: Our father has friends.
Haven't been around in a while.
Where's your father?
He's in jail.
Stole some things.
Hmm-hmm, great.
(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
You ladies aren't gonna
kick us out, are ya?
Marianne.
No, uh-uh, no way.
We are not gettin' into this.
Into what? They're kids.
Oh, yeah. And we're doing a good job
takin' care of ourselves, aren't we?
So what are you gonna do?
Just kick 'em out?
Uh-huh.
Mmm-hmm.
I'll tell you what.
We'll make you a deal.
(HORN HONKING)
(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
Hey, the lady.
Hi, Darly!
Hi, honey, I'm home.
Hi, kids, how was school today?
Darly, have you ever seen the mountains.
-I mean, the view?
-No.
It's really...
-Hey, you got work.
-Yep.
It was either the cocktail waitress job
or the brain surgery gig.
But I hear the tips are
really bad in surgeries, so.
Yeah, I'm really movin' up
in the world, right, kids?
I'm movin' north.
At least, I'm movin' north.
Ah. Wait till you wash.
It is $21.
-We'll be out of here soon enough, right?
-MARIANNE: Yeah, yeah.
(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
That's right.
You're having dinner with Mr. Rogers.
Hi, Mort!
Oh, um, I work in the hardware store.
You bought a bird feeder
from me yesterday.
-Oh, yeah, yeah.
-Yeah, yeah, Marianne. Hi.
-Bud.
-Bud, right.
-Melvin.
-Melvin, hi. I'm Marianne.
I work in the hardware store.
So, if you ever want some hardware
and you want to get it in a hardware store,
chances are you'll be talkin' to me.
Okay, well, uh, happy hardwarin'!
(HONKING)
-Hi!
-Hi.
-I got a package for a Marianne Ex-Johnson.
-Oh, that's me.
Thank you.
(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
Hey, guys, why don't you
go pull a weed or something?
"Marianne Ex-Johnson."
Unbelievable.
-Who him?
-No, me.
I asked him out.
Oh, wow.
That's that.
Oh, man, that's great.
What do you think?
75, 100 bucks for that? Mary?
"Please forward to Marianne Johnson
if she lives here."
Unbelievable, he even
mailed you your junk mail.
Oh, my gosh.
It's from Harry Raney.
-Harry from-the-truck Raney?
-Yeah.
He xeroxed it!
Geez. What does he have, a mailing list?
"Dear blank, I enjoyed
meeting you in blank city, blank state.
"I am writing you
because of your lovely pair of blanks."
(CHUCKLING) No.
"Dear Marianne,
"I have no idea
if you'll ever get this.
"But all I knew was
Johnson in Wyoming.
"And so I apologize to the 309
other Johnsons in Wyoming
"who receive this same letter."
Oh, my God, he wrote this letter
to every Johnson in Wyoming.
"In fact, if you're not the Marianne
who ditched us in a coffee shop
"off I-90 near Seattle,
"I'd appreciate it
if you stop reading now
"as what follows is an
especially embarrassing poem."
-Huh.
-Huh.
(LAUGHING)
Oh, it's bad.
Oh, his poem is really, really bad.
(CHUCKLING)
Oh.
-What's this, more poems?
-Oh, no, it's a letter.
-No, no, no, thanks.
-No?
Well, I'm gonna go take a walk.
"Oh, okay, Darly.
Gee, have a nice evening."
"Thanks, Mare, I will."
Oh, Christ, "Mare,"
I've done it. I've become Rhoda.
Oh, Harry, Harry, Harry.
Guess that lesson with Kurt
really sunk in deep, didn't it?
I'm gonna ask you
to apologize for that.
You're right. I'm sorry.
It's okay.
It's just, you know.
You're a very vulnerable person.
I just don't think you need
all the pain, that's all.
And what makes you so sure
it's gonna be so painful?
Okay, fine, forget it.
-No, I wanna know.
-No, no, no.
Seriously, forget I even brought it up.
Well, I'm off to work.
I feel I have to say this, okay?
Maybe I don't understand
because I've never been in love.
I'm not in love.
You know as well as I do,
it doesn't stand a rat's ass in hell of working.
I mean, here you go again.
All set to give everything up
to somebody you hardly know.
It's just a goddamn letter.
All right.
(SIGHS) I'm sorry.
No, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled...
No, no, no. You have nothing
to apologize for!
Oh, Christ, Mary, get a life.
(SIGHING)
-I'm scum, I'm sorry.
-You're not scum.
I am, I am, I'm scum.
I'm scum, I'm just scum.
Okay, okay, you're scum.
I'm what?
(CHUCKLING) Scum.
Oh, shit.
Want me to get you
something from town?
Some ice cream or something?
No, no, no, no, I know.
We hate ice cream.
Want me to mail the letter for you?
Okay.
-Thanks.
-Yeah.
Are you sure you don't
want to put a little heart over the "I"?
-See ya.
-Yeah.
(SIGHS)
Fucking Darlene. Geez.
(GASPS) Jesus Christ.
Hey, I know you.
I seriously doubt it!
NUQAQ: (READING) "She ran...
"Her clo..."
-"Clo..."
-"Clo..."?
-"Clothes?"
-Yeah.
Clothes.
What's that?
(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
(HOWLING)
Is the lady gonna
work with us anymore?
It's up to her, I guess.
How come she don't like it here?
I don't know.
Guess she expected
things to be different.
How come you like it?
I don't know.
I guess I didn't expect anything.
(SIGHING)
-Hi, Marianne.
-Oh, hi, Ceil.
This'll make the lady happy.
Oh, Claire, was that your kid
that came in yesterday
with those saggy
baseball pant thingies?
-Yeah, thanks for the pin.
-Sure, no problem.
Happy hardwarin'!
That's two bucks.
Came back just to see you.
Excuse me, I've got work to do.
-You don't think I know you, but I do.
-Oh, yeah?
You were my favorite.
I'd love to see you dance again.
Here's my card, Pillow Tauq.
I'd pay you.
You got the wrong person, man.
$100.
$200.
If you don't back off,
I'm gonna kick your nuts
through the roof of your mouth.
Come on, Pillow Tauq.
(GROANING)
Fuck you, asshole.
Hey, I only hit him a little.
Oh, come on, this is Alaska.
Hey!
Perfect, Darlene.
Okay. "Someday we're gonna
get the jack together.
"We're gonna have a little house
and a couple of acres...
"And a cow and some pigs
and live off the..."
Shh! Don't say anything.
"The fat of the land with each other
and have rabbits.
"Go on, George, tell what
we're gonna have in the garden.
"And how the rain in the winter
and the stove and how..."
Hey, "Gone with the Wind Mouse."
Oh, man, I've had it.
I hate small fuckin' towns.
Actually, they're building
that whole section out on the north end.
In fact, the store's been jammed lately
with people buying wood and...
It's empty.
-(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
-What?
-Come with us.
-What's going on?
Come on.
-Come on.
-What?
Well? Well?
-What did you do?
-This is our garden.
These are the geraniums.
Do you like 'em?
And this here is our porch swing
where we sit,
we watch the aurora borealis.
And this here over here, come on.
This is your desk.
Pen, checkbook, letter opener!
How much?
Oh, not all of it.
We've got 118 still left.
But that was our leaving money.
It's okay. It's okay.
Mr. Amaruk has offered me a promotion.
-A what?
-Well, not really a promotion.
It's kind of like an assistant manager
type thing, training thing.
Uh-huh, uh-huh,
and you agreed to it?
Well, I, uh, I told him
I'd think about it.
But you'd like to do it.
Yeah, well, I thought
we should talk about it.
Talk about what?
Well, I don't know. I'm not sure.
It's not like I figured all this out.
All what out?
I thought everything
was already figured out!
I thought we were saving enough money
and then we're gettin' the fuck
out of here, remember that?
Yeah, but it's just...
Where are we gonna go?
Ah.
(CHUCKLING)
So this is how it happens.
What happens?
Marianne gets an idea.
Army. Yeah, yeah, that'll be good.
Yeah, I'll learn a trade.
No, no, wait, college.
No, no, no, no, no.
Wait, um, I know.
I'll get married.
Yeah, wow.
I'll be Mrs. Kurtis Johnson.
No, no, I know.
Shithole, Alaska!
I'll stay there a while.
Why?
What on earth is here?
-Nothing yet.
-Yet.
I don't know.
Don't you think it could be nice?
How?
Well, we could do stuff to the land.
You know, fix it up.
Fix up the property.
Why?
Because, I don't know.
It's not like I've made
any decisions yet, you know.
But, um... This, uh...
Well, the town, it's really growing, you know.
-Yeah.
-And the air is nice.
-Nice, yeah.
-And it...
It... It feels good to me.
Well, so did everything else.
Where'd that get you?
Here.
(LAUGHS)
Oh, man, I don't fucking believe you.
I know. I don't believe it either.
I'm serious.
I don't know what's happened.
Except, uh, this feels different to me.
It's... It's like...
I don't know.
It's like I didn't choose any of this, you know.
This chose me.
It's like...
Like what? Like a fate?
Yeah.
-Like long cigarette, short cigarette?
-Yeah.
Right. Uh-huh. Well, guess what?
It's all bullshit.
The whole thing was bullshit.
We were just makin' it up
as we were goin' along.
Darly, how come you have
to shit on everything?
Oh, is that what I do?
Yeah! That's what you do!
Okay, fine, Marianne.
You stay, okay?
You stay, you pitch a tent,
you plant a tree, watch it grow.
I don't give a fuck what you do.
But I promise you, it's gonna turn into
Kurtis Johnson all over again.
No, uh-uh, this is turning into
Kurtis Johnson all over again.
Fuck you, Marianne.
No! No, Darly!
Wait, Darly!
You, wait!
-Look, I don't even know you.
-Wait!
You were just somebody
who needed a ride.
Fine, fine, I don't care.
Why should I care?
-You're right, I don't even know you.
-Excuse me!
We're two people that happened
to cross paths.
It's just... Darly!
Darly, wait!
Darly, don't go!
-Okay, all right, give me a reason!
-Don't go.
Because you said to me, leave bad things,
go towards good ones.
Right, that's what I'm doing.
-No, this is good! Here.
-For you!
No, it could be for you too, Darly!
-How?
-Because, because you have land here.
Because, Darly, because there's
someone here who cares about you,
who wouldn't be here
if it wasn't for you.
Who I'm gonna turn against me
sooner or later.
So, it might as well be sooner.
Save us both some pain.
Fine, that's your call.
Fine, and I'm callin' it.
Oh, here, take the land.
Use it well.
You're good at that stuff.
Me? I'm doing what I do best.
Darly? Darly!
Darly! Darly!
Darly!
Darly!
Just because you're leaving
doesn't mean you're not still
in the same goddamn place!
(CAR APPROACHING)
(DOOR CLOSING)
(YELLS)
-Oh!
-Surprise.
I got your letter.
Did I...
Did I come at a bad time?
(SOBBING)
It's okay, it's okay.
I can come back in a few months.
It's only a couple hundred miles
out of the way, a thousand tops.
Are you... Are you okay?
It isn't me, is it?
I mean, I couldn't have said
anything in this short a time.
No, it's... It's me.
It's just me.
-These are for you.
-Oh.
Thank you. They're really...
They're really lame.
I know.
Harry!
I got 'em about
400 miles back.
I kept thinkin' Eternity Bluff
is gonna show up any minute.
I bet this all is just going exactly
the way you were hoping, right?
Oh, yeah, I'm the undisputed
king of romance.
Oh, and, you know, Marianne?
Yeah?
-One other thing.
-Yeah?
I gotta go.
Huh?
-You see, Leon wigged.
-Uh-huh.
And so he and Aunt Marlene
went into some serious counseling.
So, so now I have the truck
and a whole route to fill.
In fact, God, I'm actually supposed
to be in Salt Lake as we speak.
And then Boise and Billings and Lincoln.
Hi, Marianne.
Hi, Harry.
Hey, uh, where's Darcy?
(WHIMPERING)
Oooh.
(APPLAUDING)
(LAUGHS)
Paradise.
(SINGING) Strange what desire
can make foolish people do
I never dreamed that
I'd meet somebody like you
I never dreamed that
I'd lose somebody
Yeah, um...
$500.
Yeah, that's right.
It's Pillow Tauq.
No, no, no. It's $500, firm.
Yeah, sure, for everything.
-I'm sorry you have to be going.
-Oh, yeah, me too.
But I was thinking since,
I don't know, since...
Darly's gone and Leon's gone.
And I'll be out there
by myself and whatnot,
I thought maybe,
if you're not doing anything,
maybe you'd like to come with me.
You want me to come with you?
Yeah, it would be great,
don't you think?
Oh, yeah, that would be...
That would be great.
-I could teach you to drive.
-Yeah.
I could read to you
and everything would be...
But, um...
No, I... I think... I, um...
I wanna stay here for a while.
-Oh.
-No, I mean...
I'd love to see you again.
I really would love to, but, um...
Can I keep on writing you?
Yeah, as long as you don't write
to every Marianne Johnson.
Well, I don't know.
I got all their addresses.
You!
Oh, here, I made this.
Thank you.
I'll be back real soon.
But probably not for a while
depending on my route.
But actually, you know,
if I triangulate the vector
using Houston as my apex,
I'd save, gosh,
almost 40 hours.
Time zones.
-Huh?
-Time zones.
Oh. Yeah.
-What?
-I drive a truck.
I can't believe it.
I know exactly how you feel.
(HONKING)
Tequila.
Schnapps.
Schnapps.
Did I remember correctly?
Beats me.
Got the money?
Oh, yeah.
-500?
-Yeah, sure.
(SINGING) I can hear her heart beat
From a thousand miles
Reminds me of the...
I don't know.
Maybe I'm a romantic.
So?
Dance first?
For old times' sake?
-Mind if I, uh...
-No, go ahead.
Thought I'd help.
Don't stop dancing.
Joe's not here to get jealous.
You knew Joe?
Yeah, I guess I knew him
about as well as anyone.
I ran into him a couple of years ago
when he and his daughter were in town.
-Did ya see her?
-Hey.
No, no, no, did ya?
I'm paying good money here.
I don't want to talk about Joe Ryan.
Okay, fine, 400.
Why?
One question and I'll shave a hundred bucks.
-Come on.
-Then we?
Yeah, yeah, sure.
Deal.
So, um, did you see her?
Yeah.
-Was she, uh...
-You said one.
Fine, 350.
Was she, you know,
was she okay?
Yeah, I guess.
No, wait, wait.
What do you mean okay?
-You asked it.
-I know, I know, but was she, you know...
-Hey!
-Oh, Walt, come on.
Come on, just tell me, okay?
Come on, tell me, huh?
Two hundred.
-Fuck you!
-Hey!
Let go!
No! Stop!
-What's the matter? I thought you liked it.
-No!
If you dated Joe Ryan,
you like it like that!
If you do, that's fine with me,
'cause I'm getting sick of this.
Okay, okay, just wait, please.
Just one thing, okay?
Just describe her to me, okay?
Here, look, here's 200 bucks.
Hey, look, please.
Okay.
I don't know.
-She's cute, I guess.
-Uh-huh.
-She had dark hair.
-Yeah.
-Wore a little lace dress.
-Yeah.
She was a five-year-old
version of her mother.
Five?
But she's...
I mean, she'd be...
From Joe's new wife.
Hey, what is...
Where are you goin'?
-No, I have to go.
-Hey.
Where is the goddamn...
(SOBBING)
Oh, God.
Here, take this money.
Two hundred.
You, uh, all right?
You want me to call somebody?
You got a place?
A home?
(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
Cheer up, lady,
this place is gonna be good.
We're gonna make sure of it.
DARLY: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You, uh...
You owe me $13.50.
You know, in terms of what
you made versus what I made.
And what went into the place.
I, uh, I subtracted the desk,
which is mine.
Ah, anyway, also, um,
on the way home
I picked up this.
It's, uh, flan.
They actually make it in a can.
Of course, now it means
we're gonna have to get a can opener.
So, I did.
Oh.
I don't know. Maybe this is stupid.
-I bought you a can opener.
-No, it's not stupid, thank you.
Thank you, Darly, thank you.
No, Christ, Marianne.
Thank you.
Hi.
You know, if you guys keep staring,
we're gonna start kissing in a second.
(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
Blah.
(BABIES CRYING)
Oh, can I help you?
Hi.
Hello.
Hello, um, you mentioned an address
that you can write to if, um,
you know, where if by some chance
your kid happens to write too, you know,
there's, um, well, a possibility.
You know, the odds
of this are very slim.
About ten thousand to one.
I know.
Thank you.
If you want to fill that out here,
I'll be happy to mail it for you.
Yeah.
Okay. Thank you.
That would be great.
MARIANNE: Nuqaq, wait till I finish serving.
DARLY: Clyde, get your elbow
off the table.
Jesus, I just said
get your elbow off the table.
-Hey, language at the table.
-No, I say that to you.
-I don't want vegetables.
-He don't like vegetables either.
He don't like vegetables either.
Too bad, you gotta eat 'em, kid.
They give ya color or something.
-Okay, are we set?
-Yup.
Wait, wait, wait, a toast. Okay?
Glasses.
DARLY: Okay, here's to...
66 and Spicy.
-And to the frog and bird that led her to him.
-Yeah. Yeah.
And to Leon and Harry.
Who we never would have met
if your car hadn't been stripped on the I-90.
DARLY: Which wouldn't have happened
if you'd chosen a different cigarette.
MARIANNE: Which if you hadn't
taken me to Portland.
DARLY: Which if you hadn't been
on the bus bench that night in Normal.
MARIANNE Which if my second marriage
hadn't been such a mistake.
DARLY: Or if Joe hadn't
kicked the bucket.
MARIANNE: Or if I hadn't
joined the army.
DARLY: Which if your first marriage
had been what you expected...
MARIANNE: Yeah!
-A toast.
-DARLY: A toast.
MARIANNE: To nothing turning out
the way you expect.
Dear whoever,
if you're actually
out there somewhere,
please bless this home,
uh, family,
whatever the hell this is,
and please, um,
watch over those who, uh,
aren't here tonight and are...
Are out there somewhere.
And while you're at it,
even bless the people
we owe money to for this place.
And please just help us to, um,
keep going somehow.
Thank you and good-bye.