Legacy (2008) Movie Script

Come on. You got to let me
be "bad cop" this time.
Come on! I wanna be
"bad cop" this time!
- Can I be "bad cop"?
- You can be the bad cop!
[slap]
Ow!
This is gonna be
real easy, anyway.
Three sorority chicks.
[Man on P.A.]
Detective Sams, Detective Richards,
report to
Interrogation Room 105.
I told you, this is
gonna be real easy.
Tell me the search
of the house
turned up something.
No murder weapons.
No usable evidence.
Fuck.
Everything we have
is circumstantial, boss.
Yeah.
Tell me something
I don't know.
[Woman]
Ugh. How about everything?
Whatever.
So I'm sure by now
that you're dying to know
what happened at the most
gorgeous sorority on campus.
Fine. I'll show you.
But boys, keep your
hands to yourselves.
How are you?
[indistinct dialogue]
This is gonna
be so great.
Wait. I wanna see
your earrings.
[Woman]
All right, girls!
This is Omega Kappa!
Everybody shut up
and get in line!
[blows whistle]
Oh, scoot!
You think you're
O.K. material?
From now on,
you need to shut up
and listen to me!
You got that?
You make me sick.
You're worthless.
What are you
smiling at?
## [rock on radio]
Psyched to have me
back, baby?
Gets better
every time.
How are you gonna
make it up to me?
I thought
we just made up.
That doesn't count.
That was just sex.
How about
a Marc Jacobs purse?
How about
the whole collection?
All of it?
Really?
I'll work on it.
You're the best
boyfriend ever.
Comprende?
Oh, my God.
That's Lana Stevens.
She's amazing.
Nina!
Oh, hi, Lana.
What were you
doing down there?
Just cleaning.
[sighs]
I think I have some
new voice mails.
Could you check them?
Uh, yeah. Sure.
That's cute!
I want one!
Oh! Uh, well, this looks
better on you anyways.
Thanks.
Everything looks
really nice.
What?
You're here!
Here's my girls!
How are you?
Mai, that sexy body
of yours
is totally centerfold!
Mm-hmm!
[chuckling]
Hey!
Zoey, you know
you always look good.
True.
Are you girls ready
to rush like hell?
Let's move,
sisters.
You little brats,
follow me now!
Move it!
Move it now! Go!
This way! Come on!
Move it! Move it!
Hurry up,
you and your high heels!
Oh, Mrs. Bubbles!
Oh, you... eww,
you're such a dork!
Eww. You smell.
Eww. Gross.
Eww. Disgusting.
Disgusting.
Not O.K. material!
Girls.
Mai, Zoey and I will be
watching you guys closer
than a shoe sale at Fendi.
[chuckling]
We're looking for
your quick evaluation
hand signals.
So remember,
if you hate her,
flash a one.
If you love her,
flash a five.
And if you need
further eval from me,
flash a fist.
Okay, let's assume
formation, ladies.
[soft chatter]
[doorbell]
[all chanting]
What's your favorite color?
Light pink!
Dark pink!
What's your
favorite letters?
O.K.!
Put it all together!
Light pink!
Dark pink!
O.K.!
Light pink!
Dark pink!
O.K.!
Louder! Light pink!
Dark pink!
O.K.!
Light pink!
Dark pink!
O.K.!
Light pink!
Dark pink! O.K.!
Come on.
Next stop, Delta Pi.
## [hip hop]
# I want
I wanna know #
# We just met
but, uh, let's jet #
# 'Cause, uh,
we gonna let #
# Our inhibitions
we'll forget #
# You gonna get wet,
make it the best yet #
# I knew you wanna sweat
and make a night you won't forget #
# Bet you'll be
lovin' it #
# When I'm rubbin' it #
Well, last year,
we had our spring formal
on a riverboat.
It was totally insane.
Wow.
That sounds sick.
Way more than sick.
Our parties
are off the hook.
I know. I heard that
everybody on campus
knows that this
is the "it" sorority.
Yeah, we are pretty
legendary.
Mai totally knows
what she's talking about.
She's the House
Social Chair.
Her and her girls have been
the talk of this house
for the last
four years now.
[giggles]
[Mai]
You're way cute.
Thanks.
Way cute.
[sighing]
# I wanna get
to know you like that #
# Holla at me and I'll
holla right back #
# Talk dirty 'cause
I like it like that #
# We just met... #
- Hey, Tina.
- Hey, Lana!
So, Fanny here
is a legacy.
I was a legacy, too,
you know.
But not here.
My mom, aunt, and grandma
were all in another house.
Isn't that against
the sacred Greek rules?
No way, babe.
You have to go
into the house
that you fit into
the most.
Have you checked out
E.W. E?
I heard they have
weekly chess meetings.
Do you like chess?
I love it.
I, uh, actually
placed first
in the National
Scholastic Tournaments.
Also, they talk about
really important things
like global warming.
Really.
Wow. Um...
So, you won't
be offended if I...
check it out,
will you?
Not even
a little bit.
You're totally Ewe.
Thank you.
# Holla at me and I'll
holla right back #
# Talk dirty 'cause
I like it like that #
# We just met
but, uh, let's chat #
# I wanna get
to know you like that #
You have to meet Zoey,
our Director of Recruitment.
Oh! Zoey!
[giggling]
This is Emily.
Oh. You look like
you work out.
Yeah. I do Pilates
twice a week.
Pilates?
That's so, like,
last year.
- Is it?
- Yeah.
I teach a Salsa Jam
Kick-Boxing
Sculpt and Tone To The Max
class at the campus gym.
You should totally
check it out.
There's my baby girl!
You two know each other?
Emily is in my Voice
For Performance class.
[Both]
Oh.
Yeah. We practice our
oohs and ahhs together.
[Both]
Ooh! Ahh!
[all giggling]
- Isn't she the cutest?
- [Both] Yeah!
So you're gonna come to the rush party
tomorrow night, aren't you?
- No.
- [gasps]
I think I'll be studying.
[all laugh]
- [bell jingles]
- Oh. Duty calls.
Aloha, girls.
I'm Lana Stevens,
President of Omega Kappa.
[cheering]
I want to thank you all
for coming to
our house today.
We have an incredible
group of women here
at the O.K. House.
It's not just about parties
and meeting boys.
It's about the feeling
I get when I come home
from a totally wretched
day of classes,
and I plop down
on the couch with my sisters.
It's so comfortable
and love-filled.
And I feel blessed
waking up
inside these walls
every day.
[All]
Aww...
- Oh, my God.
- That's so sweet.
I wish you all the best
of luck during rush.
I know it's
a really hard week,
but follow your hearts
and you all will find a home.
Just like I did.
Thanks.
Right.
[indistinct chatter]
My sisters...
this is the most
important decision
of each of our lives.
[types]
[beep]
Now, who can say
three words
about Megan Woods?
Funny. Spunky. Pretty.
[Lana]
Excellent.
But remember.
[sighs]
As much as we only want
exceptional-looking people,
that can't be included
in our O.K. descriptions.
Only words pertaining
to their personalities
can be included in voting,
according to our bylaws.
Got it?
Sorry, Lana.
Make that funny,
spunky, and nice.
- To look at.
- [laughing]
[Lana]
That's better.
Now, everyone, pick up
your paddles to vote.
Looks like majority vote.
Total agreement.
[beep]
- Eww!
- Ugh.
Fanny Applebaum.
What a cow.
Right?
- Zoey.
- [still laughing]
[sighs]
I think we can
all say this one
is better suited
elsewhere.
[All]
Better suited elsewhere.
[beep]
[gasps]
My girl.
Emily Barton.
Emily is amazing.
Green for Emily!
[giggles]
Just one second,
girls.
I agree that Emily
is perfect.
However,
our recruitment team
discovered today that
her GPA is pretty low.
And so I'm, like,
totally afraid
that we might not be
able to let her in.
[All]
Aww...
Unfortunately,
what Zoey says is true.
She is a grade risk.
However, according
to the rule book...
page 268, section 2,
paragraph 5A...
if a legacy doesn't try
to get in this quarter,
Emily can slide right in
and take that spot.
[sighs]
You are such
a genius, Lana.
Now let's take
an official vote
on Ms. Barton.
Perfect.
Tomorrow, we're hosting
our annual
Rush Till You Puke party.
Just make sure
you're super-nice
to all the really cute girls.
For sure.
And one last thing.
If anything shady
happens at this party,
Omega Kappa
will be shut down
and kicked off campus.
Our lives will be over.
[girls gasp]
Zoey.
[soft giggles]
Meeting adjourned.
# I got one
for my baby #
# Two for my mamma #
# Three for my peeps
that go deep in Alabama #
# I got love
for my roots, yeah #
# I got love
for my roots #
Nina.
How could you let me
get a B on this?
Oh. I'm so sorry.
It... It's just been such a hard week,
with... you know, with rush,
- and getting everything organized, and...
- Look.
I'm the one with big stuff
to worry about.
Ugh. You let me down.
# Just blazin' hot tracks,
gettin' laid on wax #
# Raisin' the bar like a bench press
that elevates... #
I am so ready
for rush week to end,
and to secure our girls.
[sighs]
- It's been so stressful.
- I know.
I've only been able
to work out, like, twice a day.
[doorbell]
Oh, that's probably the keg!
Lana, I don't know who that is.
[sighs]
Don't worry. I'll get it.
Hi, girls!
I'm Catherine Whittington.
Omega Kappa, 1984!
[Both]
O.K.!
[laughing]
Welcome, Miss Whittington.
I'm Lana Stevens,
O.K. President.
Lana Stevens.
You are the spitting image
of your mother.
Cindy was my big sister.
Oh, my God!
I have to hug you.
[giggling, sighing]
Well, now it's time
for you to meet my daughter.
Katie? Come in here
and meet the girls!
- [giggling]
- [giggling]
Come on, Katie!
Don't be shy.
Come meet your
future sisters.
Ha ha!
This is Lana.
And, um...
[awkward laugh]
Mai.
- Hi! Katie! Nice to meet you.
- Hello.
- Hi!
- Zoey.
Hi! Nice to meet you.
Katie.
Too bad you weren't
here for rush.
Oh, yeah, well,
that was my fault.
You know, a little
family reunion
in the Hamptons,
you know.
But I am so excited
to be here.
I have been
doing research
on the Omega Kappa House
all semester.
I even got a pink
retainer! See?
- [shushing]
- [giggling]
Oh. You guys are O.K.
[laughing]
You're damn right.
Hey, you're friends
with Rachel Winters, right?
- No. I don't...
- Dykey Rachel Winters?
Yeah, she's my lab partner...
Katie, I'm talking.
Girls, how about we show
Katie the wall of fame?
Katie is absolutely dying
to see her mom
in her O.K. days.
Of course.
- This way.
- [giggling]
[Catherine]
Don't you think I look exactly the same?
- [Lana] Yeah.
- [giggling]
Do you think we should talk
for a little bit?
Sure.
Hey, your mom's really cute.
- [laughing]
- Yeah.
Look, Lana.
I know my Katie doesn't really
fit the O.K. bill.
But I am counting on you,
as my big sister's daughter,
to make sure she becomes
an Omega Kappa like us.
You don't think Katie
would be better suited elsewhere?
Please. I invented that phrase.
When Katie becomes a sister,
she will blossom into
a beautiful woman like me.
And you.
Mrs. Whittington,
with all due respect,
you can't possibly think
Katie would like it here.
I mean, she may be a sweet girl,
but some of the other girls
may not take a liking to her...
You will take my Katie
under your wing,
and you will make damn sure
those other bitches...
- sisters...
- [laughs]
treat her right.
Because one phone call from me
to the Alumni Association,
and you will be out of this house.
- You wouldn't.
- Try me.
See, I donate thousands
to the house each year.
And your mother
has never given a cent.
She never gave a shit about
anyone but herself, the cheap bitch.
She even spent all day long
in her fucking pajamas,
just like you.
So...
are you gonna
do the right thing?
As a Kappa, you have my word.
[sighs]
You are as smart as you are pretty.
Thanks.
Bitch.
[Zoey]
I like her hair.
[Katie]
Yeah, it's kinda like mine.
[Zoey chuckles]
Yeah. Kind of.
[Catherine]
Oh, do you girls still do
the Rush Till We Puke party?
Yes, we haven't missed
a single year.
Well, I'll make sure
Katie gets dropped off by 9:00.
Oh, great.
Well, we really should be going.
Oh, so soon?
Yes, have a little
packing to do.
A weekend getaway
to the Caribbean
with a new hubby.
[all giggling]
Ooh, light pink
and dark pink.
We make the boys'
hearts sink.
We're Omega Kappa
and we're better
than you think!
We're O.K.!
We're O.K.!
[laughing]
Bye!
[Mai] Oh, my God.
She'll eat all our food.
I know. I feel like
I gained a pound
just standing next to her.
- Have faith, girls.
- [cell phone ringing]
- Hey, baby!
- [Man] Hey, girl.
You still coming over
for a little pre-pre-party?
You know it, baby.
Okay. See you later.
Love you!
Yeah.
Yo, James, I got to go over there
and test the system out right now.
I want you to round up as many
DVD burners as you can from the guys.
- And what for?
- Dudes!
Will you please tell
what the DVD burners are for?
Aw, well, certainly, sir!
Genius here's been tapin' himself...
[Both]
Doing the deed...
With his ultra-hottie girlfriend.
[belching]
I go bang her,
bring the tapes back here.
Then he passes them to me,
we load them
into the computer,
burn a few copies,
and sell them...
[Both]
For $15.99!
Bop, baby! Yeah!
And people buy them?
Dude.
It's Lana Stevens.
She's, like, superfly,
and I got to get a piece of that.
No, mm-mm.
Sold them to a bunch
of freshmen last week,
and seriously, tonight,
we are going campus-wide.
Holy fuck!
That's brilliant!
- Yes.
- You know what I'm saying?
- Whoo!
- I got to go lick it and stick it,
and make some dough
with the ho, baby.
James.
[groans]
Oh! I love it, man!
Ah!
[heavy breathing]
- [Jeff] Yeah, that's my girl.
- [Lana moaning]
- [bed creaking]
- [Jeff moaning]
Tell me how good I am.
Jeff, you know I hate
the talking stuff.
[groaning]
Just say it.
You're so good.
Say my name.
Jeff, Jeff, you're so big.
Oh! That's my girl.
Mm-hmm.
[moaning]
[sighing]
[moaning]
Ah!
Oh.
Mmm.
[Lana]
Jeff.
Mm-hmm?
You have to help me
with the rushees tonight.
What can I do?
There's this awful legacy girl coming.
Katie.
You have to make her feel
totally unwelcome.
[Lana]
I want to make her night a living hell.
What's that?
Baby, you are
a goddess.
I would do
anything for you.
[chuckling]
Now, what were
you saying?
I don't know, I forgot.
[chuckling]
Wait, you're leaving?
I got to go.
[grunts]
Got to save
some for later.
- [door closes]
- [sighs]
- ## [hip-hop]
- [Jeff moaning]
We're gonna be rich!
Oh! Oh!
## [rock]
All right, let's go say hi.
Hmm.
[sighing]
Let's move, sisters.
[Boy]
Yeah!
[indistinct chatter]
Hi!
Katie, I'm so glad
you could make it.
[giggling]
I am so excited to be here.
This is, like, my first
real college party.
That is, like, so cute.
[laughing]
[Girl #1]
I wanna see what's upstairs.
- [Girl #2] I touched her.
- Excuse me.
Um, excuse me, girls.
I've got to run upstairs for a bit.
For sure.
[chuckling]
My mom was raving
about this party all day.
She even told me
to buy a new outfit.
Isn't it cute?
[laughing]
[chuckling]
That outfit is so you.
This is Electric Blue.
It's delicious.
Oh. Scusi,
I have to go see
some of our other girls.
An O.K. president's job
is never done.
Zoey here would be thrilled
to introduce you to some
of our other sisters.
Right, Zoey?
[chuckling]
Of course.
[laughing]
Enjoy yourself, pumpkin.
Thanks.
[giggling]
I need a drink.
[laughing]
I want you to meet my girl, Stevie.
She's totally all about
being O.K., too.
Well, awesome.
Welcome, Stevie.
If you are half
as cool as Emmy says,
and I already know you're half,
- I mean, totally, as cute...
- [laughing]
then I'm sure you are
going to love being an O.K.
[all screaming]
[All]
O.K.!
[giggling]
[Boy]
Beer funnel, Emily!
Who wants
to watch me funnel?
Do it, sister.
Hey, Matty.
Zoey. Hey, baby.
[giggling]
[Matty]
You're looking hot as always.
[Zoey]
You're not so bad yourself.
What's that?
She's no one.
Four shots, please.
Ooh, what color?
Uh, whichever's the strongest.
[girls chattering]
Yeah!
## [hip-hop]
I really like Prada purses,
but everyone has them now.
So I was gonna get a Gucci one,
but then the girl
down the hall from me
had the one that I loved,
so I decided on this one.
It's L.V.
No one has it yet
because no one can afford it.
It's, like, totally gorgeous.
Yeah, I think Lana has that one.
Hmm.
Yeah, go, go!
- Swallow! Aww.
- [spewing]
[laughing]
Shit!
- [belches loudly, laughing]
- Damn!
Shit, that was a lot of beer.
Zoey, I never drank
before in my life.
- [laughing]
- Well, for an O.K., it's a must.
- Right everyone?
- [all cheering]
And for a newbie, it's double.
[chuckling]
Oh, Emily, you're here!
Yeah, this is, like,
the greatest party ever.
I know!
Oh!
[giggling]
Oh, Emily, this is Matty.
He's a Sig.
Pleasure to meet you.
Ooh. Hi, there.
- Oh.
- My bad.
Oh, no, that's fine.
These things happen
all the time.
So you guys wanna play
a little Truth or Dare?
- Totally.
- I want to go first.
Okay. Truth or dare?
You totally have to pick dare.
Good call. Dare.
I dare you to kiss me.
You know, kissing a sister
is an automatic in.
I want an auto in, too.
Well, what about me?
You know,
if you two kiss, it counts too.
You must be Katie.
I've been looking for you.
[giggling]
Emily here is also pledging.
Oh, hi, I'm so excited
to meet you.
Mmm.
I heard you're, like,
a guaranteed O.K.
Oh, well, you know,
I don't want to get in
just because I'm a legacy.
I love
the Omega Kappa House
and everything they stand for.
Let's grab a beer.
Oh, I'm okay.
My head feels kind of funny.
Nonsense, come on.
[Katie giggling]
He's hot.
[laughing]
[Emily] Okay, so I'm going
to do the first one,
so you have to
watch and learn.
And then you're
going to do one,
and try
and beat my time.
Oh, okay.
One...
[chatter from below]
Mai!
[Girl]
Eww, she's kind of butchy.
I, um...
Excuse me, girls.
I got to run
back inside, okay?
Let's go.
Excuse me.
[chuckling]
You okay, girlie girl?
Just have to handle
some business.
You handle it!
[all cheering]
Holy shit, I rock!
Yeah!
Oh!
Is he fucking kidding me?
You're, like,
on steroids.
This little piggy
went to market.
Excuse me.
Like, what the fuck
are you doing?
I d...
Nicole, here,
is a rushee,
and she was just
showing me how the, uh...
the... the new silicone,
it feels just like
the real thing!
- Oh.
- It's awesome.
Hey, what's going o...
What was that for?
Kissing those sluts.
It's rush, Rachel.
[Zoey moaning]
What's wrong, baby?
I'm just showing the girls here
a good time.
I told you to make them
feel welcome,
not to feel them up.
Girls, why don't
you two go join Emily
and some of the other
rushees over at the keg?
I need to speak
with Jeff for a second.
What are you doing here?
I had to see you.
Sweetie, I told you
not to come by the house,
especially not tonight.
I miss you. I haven't
seen you at all this week.
I'm just being friendly.
I can't have you
flirting with the rushees.
Do you know what
that makes me look like?
The president of this house
and my boyfriend
isn't being 100% loyal to me?
I told you I was going to be
on lockdown in the house.
I can't do this anymore!
All right? I want to spend the end of
my senior year with my girlfriend.
No more of this hiding shit.
[kissing]
[Zoey]
You like my room?
[grunting]
Totally.
It's hot, like you.
Get over here. Come on.
[Matty]
You ready for this?
Why are you so damn insecure
all the time, anyway?
I am not insecure,
and you should be a little more
appreciative of the fact
that you're dating the most
popular girl on this campus,
you little shit.
[laughing]
Why don't you get over yourself,
you itty-bitty titty committee?
I am so done
with you right now.
[scoffs]
Whatever.
Little pink bitch.
[heavy breathing]
[Matty moaning]
Mamacita.
[moaning louder]
You fucking kidding me?
No wait, just give me
a couple seconds.
I'll be right back
in the game, coach.
That worthless
little dick of yours
couldn't stay hard
for one fucking minute?
Hey, can you just...
can you grab me a beer?
Go fuck yourself.
Give me the rainbow.
Rainbow?
You okay, Mai?
Yeah. I'm good.
Jell-O wrestling time!
[cheering]
Woohoo!
Yeah!
[Lana]
I think you should go.
It would totally impress
the other girls.
Really?
Completely.
- Have fun.
- Okay.
Let me give you a hand, Katie.
Whoopsy! In you go!
[laughing]
[girls cheering]
Come on, Katie,
show us what you got!
Get her, girls!
[grunting]
Woohoo!
Let's hear it for the geek!
[cheering]
Whoo! Take off her clothes, yeah!
[laughing]
[scoffs]
So granny panties!
Ugh, that is so horrific.
[cheering]
[Boy]
Yeah!
[chanting]
Go fat girl! Go fat girl!
- Go fat girl! Go fat girl!
- Ow!
Go fat girl! Go fat girl!
Go fat girl! Go fat girl!
Go fat girl! Go fat girl!
[all cheering]
[indistinct yelling]
Whoo!
Oh!
Lana, Jeff is looking for you.
He's, like, pissed or something.
- Excuse me.
- [laughing]
What do you want?
We need to talk, now!
- Busy.
- No. Now!
I'm busy! I have
a big event outside,
and I don't have time
to deal with you.
Well, you're always
too busy for me.
Oh, here we go.
All you care about
is your sorority.
That's all you talk about,
how great your sorority is.
How you're the greatest
sorority president,
how your pledge class
is going to be so wonderful,
blah, blah, blah!
Oh, belette!
I am not having this discussion
with you right now.
Well, you'd better have it now,
or I'm out of here.
Fine, go!
Do I look like I care?
- Fine!
- Fine!
- Fine!
- Fine!
- We're over!
- So over!
- ## [hip-hop]
- Hmph.
Excuse me, excuse me.
Sorry.
Whoo!
[all grunting]
Ooh.
[chuckling]
I can't believe
this girl.
Yeah, she, like, might get
in here or something.
I will so not be
in the same
pledge class as her.
Girls, girls.
I can guarantee
that she won't get in.
- [laughing]
- Okay.
Looks like someone's had
a little too much fun.
Get out. Come on.
Let her go, girls.
- [Katie whining]
- Oh, God. Ugh.
Move, move.
Scoot. Move.
Fat girl
coming through.
[Katie]
Yeah, I'm coming through!
[laughs]
[crowd cheering]
Okay, put your arms through.
[giggling]
Come on.
[giggling]
[Lana]
Hey, no, no, no, no.
Oh.
- [grunting]
- Oh, God.
- [Katie squealing]
- Nasty little shoes.
[laughing]
[squealing]
Okay, now you just stay in here
until I come back and get you.
And try to sober up.
You're a disaster.
Where's the other one?
[laughing]
It's too bad you had
such a terrible night.
Guess you won't want to join now.
[slurring]
Are you kidding?
It was so much fun!
This was, like,
the best night of my life.
I love Omega Kappa!
[giggling]
Are you serious?
Absolutely.
[chuckling]
[sighing]
- Awesome.
- Ugh!
[Man]
This is God's great invention...
the doughnut.
Mm-hmm.
Delicious.
[mouth full]
This is good eatin', man.
Know what I'm saying?
What's up for tonight, man?
Well, I figure we'll go
over to Omega Kappa,
check on those girls.
Make sure they're
behaving themselves.
- [giggles]
- That's not funny, man.
Alcohol abuse
is a chronic problem
on college campuses these days.
You got a point.
As the order keepers of this campus,
their safety is our first priority.
And because alcohol
is such a problem,
we will have to
go into the house,
confiscate the booze
for their own protection.
- [laughing]
- That's right, man.
Mm-hmm.
For their own protection.
[both laughing]
That's good, man, that's good.
- Give me this.
- What you... Hey...
- That's mine.
- What... How...
You're a bully, dude.
Yeah.
I'm a bully.
You're an idiot.
[knocking]
- Nina.
- Everything okay in there?
Everything's fine.
Go get Mai and Zoey now.
Okay, sure.
Zoey, Lana needs you
in her room immediately.
[knocking]
[whimpering]
Thank God. Get in here now.
Oh, shit!
[crying]
[Nina]
Mai?
Oh, Mai, hi.
Lana needs you
in her room right away.
[sniffles]
[knocking]
- [Mai gasping]
- Look at this.
[siren blaring]
Security is coming!
Clear out
the house then!
Now!
Shit.
Everyone out,
get out, get out.
Out, now! Out!
What are we going to do?
We hide the body.
I'm not touching
those fat rolls.
I am not letting
my house get shut down
because of some geeky,
fat-ass freshman.
Now, pick her up.
- ## [rock]
- [indistinct chatter]
[yelling indistinctly]
- Everybody, stop where you are!
- Freeze! Freeze!
Hey, where you going?
Hey, you can't...
Get the hell off me!
[chatter]
Hey, give me some of that!
Where you going?
[grunting]
- Shit!
- Door's open.
[gasping]
Oh, shit, you dropped her!
What? You dropped her!
- [cars driving away]
- [bottles breaking]
[Lana]
Come on.
[knocking]
- Ugh.
- [grunting]
No, not downstairs!
That's the first place they look.
Ow.
Come on.
- [thud]
- [All] Ooh.
Here.
Are you sure
she's gonna fit in here?
I don't know, just help.
I knew she would
empty our fridge,
I just didn't expect it
to be this way.
Somebody help me
with the tray.
All right, here.
Okay.
[grunting]
She is too big.
No, she'll fit!
Just shove her in there.
[grunting]
I got it.
[all grunting]
Forget it, we don't
have any time.
Stuff her in the closet.
[grunting]
- Ha ha.
- What the hell is that?
S.W.A.T. tactics.
[all panting]
One, two...
[both grunting]
Get off me, you pervert!
- Get off me.
- What?
Get off me, man.
- You all right?
- You okay?
Yeah, that's just a little bigger ram
than I'm used to.
[chuckling]
Now that,
I can't believe.
I'm Lana Stevens, O.K. President.
- O.K.!
- What can I do for you officers?
Well, look here.
I'm Officer Jaul,
this is Officer Santocki,
and we're here to, uh,
break up this party.
Well, it looks like you officers
did an excellent job.
Oh.
Yeah, I guess we did.
- We broke it up.
- [chuckling]
So, uh, look,
I think we can, um...
You know, it's all clear.
We can let you off
with a little warning there,
Miss Stevens. Huh?
- Okay.
- You like that, don't you?
- Mm-hmm.
- [laughing]
What do we
have here? Huh?
Looks like I'm going
to have to confiscate this.
Oh...
those crazy frat boys
probably brought that in.
- Really?
- Yeah.
[glass breaking in next room]
I thought you said
everybody was gone.
Wait.
[Santocki]
Hello, ladies.
[chuckling]
You girls are in major trouble.
- [snaps fingers]
- Move.
Move.
[gasps]
What? No cold beer?
We do not keep alcohol
in this house, officer.
It's against policy.
Ha, ha, yeah.
No alcohol, huh?
What's that?
Hmm?
Move, girls.
Move!
Move.
What the fuck?
See? Told you
no alcohol.
[Jaul on radio] We got a homicide
at the Omega Kappa House.
[Lana] So now you know
how we ended up here.
Pretty lame, isn't it?
This police station thing
is just a big waste
of our valuable time.
Besides, the O.K. sisters
are perfectly capable
of keeping their
own house in order.
[door opening]
Ooh, hoo, hoo.
I guess you're doing
the whole "bad cop" thing.
[click]
I'm Detective Richards.
This is Detective Sams.
- Zoey Martin.
- Mm-hmm.
Got some bad news for you.
They cancelled my 7:00
Sweat It Out nude cycling class?
- [chuckling]
- That's cute,
but if I was in your situation,
I would not be
cracking jokes right now.
I'm serious.
So am I.
And you have much,
much, much, much,
much bigger problems
to worry about.
[Zoey chuckling]
Why?
It's not like I did anything.
[Sams] Not according
to your Omega Kappa sisters,
Mai and Lana.
Your sisters came clean,
and named you the killer
in under two minutes.
That's like a new record.
Right, Sams?
So much for sister loyalty.
Oh, God, they know.
Know what?
That I'm bi.
Bi who? Bi what?
[Mai]
Lingual.
Nothing. I did not kill that Katie girl.
So you're saying
you didn't do anything?
I didn't even remotely do it.
And I can tell you exactly
where I was for the entire night.
- [click]
- Well, start talking.
Well, Katie got there way too early,
and I still hadn't made my rounds.
So I asked Zoey to make sure
she had a good time.
Zoey here would be
thrilled to introduce you
to some of our other sisters.
[echoing]
Right, Zoey?
[Lana]
I assumed she was in good hands.
This is, like, my first
real college party.
Enjoy yourself, pumpkin.
I only saw Katie for a minute
when she got there.
[Mai]
I had to run upstairs to meet up
with some other girls.
I'll catch you later, Katie.
For sure.
[laughing]
[Richard] You're looking
at a first-degree murder rap.
So what you really need
to start asking yourself is,
do you want to spend the rest of
your pretty young life behind bars?
Or are you going to fry?
Ehnn!
Why?
Because that backstabber
said that it was me?
Let me ask you a question, little lady.
You ever had a peanut butter
and jelly sandwich
with no peanut butter?
Mm-mm.
Backstabber, you said backstabber.
Who?
Lana.
Ooh, she was so concerned
that that legacy
was going to get in.
[Sams]
According to witnesses,
Katie Whittington
arrived at 2100 hours.
For you low-life civilians, that's 9 P. M.
You might want to start there.
[sighing]
[Zoey]
I wanted to show Katie a good time.
I need a drink.
So I decided to take her
around to meet some people.
- Oh, hey, baby.
- This is Matty.
[Katie]
I'm really excited to meet you.
We know you didn't want
Katie in your house.
And we know about
your little plan.
What plan?
Make sure Katie has
the worst night of her life.
We have to make her look dumb,
feel dumb, and act dumb.
Anything to keep her from joining.
Anything?
- Anything.
- [chuckling]
God, I love us.
[Both]
Totes.
Your two little sidekicks
told us everything.
Everything.
I don't believe you.
Zoey told us
you wanted Emily in,
and Katie was in your way.
What an ungrateful bitch!
So you're saying
you didn't do anything?
[Lana] I told Emily
that I absolutely love her,
and I'm dying for her
to be a sister.
There's this really geeky girl
named Katie here tonight.
She's a really important legacy,
and I'm scared
because of her grades
that she might take your spot.
Are you kidding me?
She's, like, the cutest
little version of me ever.
Which one is she?
Oh.
Done deal.
Where was Katie?
I believe I saw Katie
taking shots with Zoey.
I told her
that she did not have to
do it if she didn't want to.
But she just picked them
right up and went for it.
You're not done.
[Lana]
It was shocking.
We O.K. s do not condone
underage drinking.
[Emily]
Let's grab a beer.
Where did they go, Zoey?
How should I know?
She was making new friends.
[Sams]
New friends?
So how... how friendly
did they get?
Anyway, the next thing I knew...
Your turn.
Oh! Okay.
[chuckling]
[Katie groaning]
[All]
One, two...
[Richards]
So you left Katie upside-down?
Yeah.
But she looked like
she was having a blast.
Whoa!
[laughing]
Ow.
Oops, I slipped.
Is your head okay?
[laughing]
I saw Katie come outside
when I was talking to my friend.
She looked in bad shape
and pretty drunk.
I think she even threw up.
[retching, coughing]
Oh, hey, Rachel.
I knew it!
So anyway, I went over
to see if she was okay.
Go home, I'll call you later.
We'll talk about this.
Look here.
Nobody knows anything
about me and Rachel.
Why? There's nothing
wrong with love.
Shut your mouth!
You shouldn't be
at this party anyway.
If it wasn't for your mother,
you wouldn't even be here.
I know, but I thought maybe...
Don't think anything!
If you ever say
the name Rachel and Mai
in the same sentence again,
I'll fucking kill you, got it?
Yes.
[Mai]
So I finished explaining to her
she probably had too much to drink,
and she shouldn't be hanging outside.
- She really should be inside mingling
- [crying]
if she wanted to make friends.
A fat girl was murdered.
Really fat girl.
Hello! Interrupting?
The next time that
Katie came up to me,
was when Chris and I
were discussing
exercise techniques.
Yeah!
- Zoey, can I talk...
- [moaning]
Uh, I got to go.
Wait!
What about me?
[clearing throat]
Katie, honey, your lips
look a little dry.
Try this.
Oh. Thanks.
Oh. Tastes like
a postage stamp.
- [chuckling]
- It's the new extra protein kind.
Oh.
[giggling]
Um, Zoey?
Um, I'm beginning to think that
some of the girls
don't like me very much,
and I need some advice
from my big sister.
What?
My mom said that you would probably
end up being my big sister.
And I could really use
my big sister right now.
[scoffs]
Why would I be your big sister,
you fat, dorky little geek?
Zoey, that was really
nasty of you to say.
I don't mean to be ugly,
I just wasn't born pretty like you.
You think that
I was born this way?
This body takes
a lot of work.
Do you know how many times
that I had to binge and purge,
and how much time
I have spent at the gym?
You fat people are all the same.
Too lazy to get up off your ass
and do something about it.
I despise people like you.
But I thought you really liked me.
[laughing]
You thought wrong.
Lana, I'm done with her.
You take care of it.
[Richards] And what's
the next thing you remember?
I was a little worried
that she might have had
too much to drink already.
It looked like
she'd been drinking
since before she'd
even gotten there.
- [crying]
- [Zoey] Come on, Chris.
Don't cry.
[whimpering]
You look like
you could use a drink.
Oh.
I think I'm okay.
I think I should go home.
And then she insisted
she wanted to take shots.
So I turned my head.
Nina!
Four blue ones.
Oh, Lana, I don't think
I can drink anymore.
All O.K. sisters can party.
I know your mom could party.
- [chuckling]
- Too fast.
- Jell-O wrestling time!
- [cheering]
- Jell-O wrestling?
- Yes.
It's something that
I personally came up with
at last year's party as
a welcoming event for the rushees.
They absolutely love it.
Is it... Is it real Jell-O?
[Zoey]
Of course.
Does it really matter?
And your mother must be
real proud of you.
Oh, she is.
So you took Katie
to the Jell-O wrestling ring, huh?
It's not to be missed.
Ugh!
Woohoo!
[crowd cheering]
Man, you girls are brutal.
It was fine.
Plus, the crowd was
really into it, too.
It was...
It was pretty funny.
Katie looked like she was
having a little too much fun.
So we were all
just having a blast,
watching the wrestling...
And then Lana, like,
dragged her out of the ring
and back into the house.
She was, like, really, really drunk...
Which reflects poorly on us.
So that's when you got Katie
away from Lana,
and you brutally killed her!
Is he for real?
And that's when
you decided to kill her!
Didn't you?
He's kidding, right?
So you took Katie in your room.
Yes.
Like I said, so she could sober up.
Ah!
[Katie grunting, giggling]
[laughing]
So they went upstairs.
I'm not sure,
because right then,
Chris and James asked me
if they could go up
to my room to talk.
[Sams]
Both of them?
[Zoey]
Yeah. We're all friends.
[Sams]
Mm-hmm, you're all friends.
[sighing]
- Mmm.
- [chuckling]
So where'd you go
after you left Katie?
I walked outside to go
to the backyard to hang out.
What's wrong, Mai?
Nothing.
I'll be fine after this drink.
[Zoey]
That convo was over pretty quick.
Too drunk to get it up?
Yeah, you're going
to have to leave.
You, too. Get out.
Get out!
Hey, drunky, out!
Boys don't really
have much to say anyway.
Get the hell out.
So where'd you go after that?
I went back up
to my room to check...
- [hits table]
- To kill Katie,
so your precious little Emily
could be in O.K.
For Christ's sake,
I went back up to my room
to check on her!
- Lana!
- Hi!
Katie and the Jell-O,
totally hilarious.
She must feel like an idiot.
Yeah, I know.
Hey, have you seen Zo?
No, haven't seen her.
Hmm.
[Lana]
Then, when I got up to my room,
it was the strangest thing...
my door was open.
When I saw she wasn't
on the bed, I was hurt,
because I thought she'd left
and hadn't even told me bye.
Hey, drunky.
Get out.
Get out of my room.
Get out!
[Sams]
So that's when you saw the body.
Yup.
That's all, folks.
That's not all, folks.
I want to clarify one thing.
Sh-Shoot.
After you left
the Jell-O wrestling ring,
you said you went back inside
when Nina came to find you.
That...
That's what I said.
So what were you doing
up to the point
when she did find you?
Just... Just chilling.
Just chilling?
So no one can actually
vouch for your whereabouts
during the time of the murder.
Well, no...
And you moved the body.
- See, she killed...
- Stop.
[sighing]
l...
I-I thought it was Lana.
Well, her or Zoey.
[Mai] Lana told us
to move the body,
and Zoey didn't argue,
so I just played along.
I-I just didn't want
to see either of them
get in trouble.
You know?
Don't go anywhere.
We'll be back.
- You ever had hot apple pie...
- Let's go, Sams.
- [door shuts]
- [sighing]
[Zoey]
I went into Lana's room,
and that's when
I saw Katie there, dead.
We heard the cops
were coming,
so that's when we had
to hide the body.
Wait, you moved the body?
Mm-hmm.
That's obstruction of justice.
Well, Lana said the O.K. House
would be shut down
if anyone found her.
Don't you move
a pretty false eyelash, little lady.
You're in deep trouble.
Deep.
Deep.
Hey, could I get, like,
a magazine or something?
When I saw it was Katie,
I was totally devastated.
I didn't even know what to do.
[door opens]
What a performance.
Yeah, okay,
and who are you?
I ask the questions.
Outside.
[Sams]
Jesus.
Close to what?
Solving the case.
You're a couple of first-class
USDA homogenized
fucking idiots!
I don't even know
what "homogenize" is.
It's a milk!
[whispering]
Shut up.
You call that an interrogation?
[high voice]
"I'm just trying to find out
if you killed her."
- [laughing]
- That's not how I said it.
I said it like that.
Goes inside the other pocket.
Fucking piece of shit.
The button's broken.
Okay, I'll fix that for you, sir.
[sighing]
You know how important
this case is to this town?
This is an important case.
That's how important it is.
[laughing]
Something funny?
Maybe you'd like to share
with me what is so funny,
because we got a killer in here.
So if there's something
funny about a killer,
then maybe you want
to tell me right now.
It's nothing...
Because I don't think there's
anything funny about killing.
That's why I became a cop!
- I wasn't laughing.
- To stop killers!
Is there anything funny about that?
I was that cl...
We got a killer in there!
We got a fucking killer in there.
Do we want to let
another killer walk free?
No.
Are we going to let
another killer walk free?
- No.
- No.
Is that a killer in there?
- Yes.
- Yeah.
Are we going to let
that killer walk free?
- No.
- No.
[exhales deeply]
Sometimes you young cops...
I just see you guys
coming in here
and just fucking
walking in like you think
you're fucking Starsky
and fucking Hutch!
This ain't a fucking joke.
Somebody's dead!
A girl is fucking dead!
And you fucking blew it!
You blew it like a couple
of fucking idiots!
What...
[cocks gun]
I swear to fucking God,
if you ever interrogate
anyone like that again...
But I was th... I was...
What did you say?
I was just that close.
You want to see me blow
my fucking head off?
Huh?
You wanna to see it?
You wanna see it?
Huh? I can tell you do.
You wanna see me blow
my fucking head right off.
Don't do it.
[indistinct whispering]
You make me want to blow
my fucking head right off!
Right the fuck off!
[releases hammer]
Why don't you do
a job you can handle?
So, am I done here, or what?
Silence!
You found a dead girl in your room.
Your friends arrived rather quickly.
How?
Well, Nina... she's like our little
super-helper girl in the house...
tried to pop her little head in.
- Nina.
- Is everything okay in there?
Everything's fine.
And you weren't afraid
she was gonna see the body?
I didn't let her open the door.
So you hid it.
No!
I didn't want to create
total chaos in our house.
Just go get Mai and Zoey now.
This is not happening.
So I sent her downstairs,
and I told her to bring
Mai and Zoey up right away.
Nina's super-dependable like that.
So you felt that
your best option
during this situation
was to move the body.
[Lana]
I know it was kind of dumb.
Hand me that.
And I'm sad, too.
Perfect.
But all I could think about was that
our house was gonna get shut down.
[Detective]
Thank you, Miss Stevens.
That's all I needed to know.
He's good.
The best.
You have all the hallmarks
of a self-involved sociopath,
with no care for anything
but yourself or your own image.
A girl has died!
In your room.
Look, Mr. Detective,
this may not have been
one of my best decisions,
but if I'm right, like I always am,
you technically didn't
put me under arrest,
so I can leave
whenever I want to,
and I want to leave, now.
You're a fucking bitch.
[scoffs]
We're gonna have to let them go.
What?
The only way we're gonna
find out the truth
is if we stay on them
until they crack.
Have Wacky Webb
and Psycho Suhart
go over to Omega Kappa,
keep a close eye on these girls.
You got it.
We're gonna release you for now,
but it's just a matter of time
until we get enough evidence to convict.
And when we do, it's the chair.
For all of you.
Just know we're gonna be
watching your every move.
Every pajama party,
every hot shower.
You're not even gonna
be able to take a shit.
[scoffs]
You're sick.
Don't get too comfortable, ladies.
This is far, far from over.
How dare you bitches rat me out.
Whatever happened
to sisterhood and loyalty?
What? Both of you cunts
named me as the killer.
What's up with that?
You disgust me!
What...
You used to be my friend.
And you should be
ashamed of yourself.
You used to be my best friend.
Oh, F-off, Zoey.
You're the one that
should be ashamed.
You know I didn't kill anyone.
Oh, actually,
I don't know if you know that
because you're off
chasing dick all night.
Right, Hoey Zoey?
Aah!
- Oh!
- Unh!
You would still be a fat-ass
closet eater if it wasn't for me.
You're the one who can't
kick the diet pills, bitch!
Hey, maybe your friendship
is as fake as your boobs, Lana.
They're real, and you know it.
Sorry you're just jealous
'cause you got tiny titties.
- Right, Mai?
- Fuck you!
You're such
a screwy bitch, Mai.
A bitch or a slut?
Which would I rather be?
Hmm. How many guys
was it last night?
Or did you lose count again?
[grunting]
Hey, enough!
This is not helping.
Ow!
[screaming]
Back off, Zoey!
Stop!
Oh. Now just get your ass off me.
[screaming, grunting]
So let's think about this.
Those detectives all
told us the same thing.
They tried to turn us
on each other to nail us.
[scoffs]
And we fell for it.
We're so lame.
Totes.
Light pink and dark pink,
we make the boys' hearts sink.
Really?
Please, come on.
Do this with me.
Come on, Mai.
That's an order.
[All]
Light pink and dark pink,
we make the boys' hearts sink.
Light pink and dark pink,
we make the boys' hearts sink.
Apologies, girls.
I'm so sorry I even
thought for two seconds
you guys would turn on me.
Same goes here.
And, Mai, so sorry about
that nasty bitch remark.
Triple.
And, Zoey, totally ashamed
by that slut reference.
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
Excellent
mea culpas, girls.
The only way we're
gonna get through this
is if we work together
in our sisterhood.
Now, those fine officers
are not gonna leave O.K. alone
until we totally
hand over a killer.
[sighs]
Ew.
So, come on.
Let's think.
It certainly wasn't one of us.
Ugh, those stupid cops.
Like I would ever get any blood
on my Michael Kors shoes.
Who else would care about killing
some loser legacy besides us?
Well, she was really fat. Blut.
Yeah, she was.
Yeah, but still, guys.
Hey, girlies.
Nice to see you
back all... unchained.
Well, hello, asshole.
You didn't even answer my call.
I used my only one on you.
I'm sorry, I was sleeping.
Lana, can we go
in your room and talk
just a little, quick bit?
Please?
I'm so sure he just
wants to talk, right?
Shut up, slut.
That should be over quick.
Like...
[both making squeaky noises]
I wanna get back
together with you.
Again.
[scoffs]
Screw you, Jeff.
I'm pissed.
You blew me off last night,
then you don't answer my call.
You don't even give a shit
about the trouble I'm in.
Baby, I'm sorry.
I owe you an apology for the party.
I acted like a stupid frat guy,
but... you know I don't mean it.
Besides, who cares how
that geeky legacy died anyway?
It's not like you
wanted her in the house.
That's not the point.
Jeff, stop.
I'm not in the mood.
Baby.
Come on.
You know that's my weak spot.
[giggles]
Are you okay?
Oh, just... a little cramp.
Yeah, we're good.
Just... Whew.
[giggles]
What are you doing?
Tension.
I'm good.
Um... shit.
I forgot to tell James
to TiVo the Miami game.
So call him.
- You can use my cell phone.
- No, I gotta go.
I got a lot of money
riding on that game, baby.
Mwah!
Now?
Mwah.
[scoffs]
[sighs]
[Zoey]
Oh.
My brain hurts.
Yeah, all this thinking
is really bumming me out.
Stop complaining, girls.
We really have to step up
to the plate on this one.
Our names cannot be tarnished.
Okay, you're right.
Hey, who wants to do an O.K. chant
to get us in the mood?
Oh, saved by the freshman.
- Hi.
- Hey.
I stopped by earlier,
but no one was here.
I've been so worried
about you girls, you poor things.
Emmie, it's so good to see you.
I baked them myself.
Okay, you got me.
Stevie helped.
Well, if there's anything
I can do to cheer you guys up,
just let me know.
Where are all the O.K. sisters?
Oh, it's community service day.
Oh, cool.
Um, my timing in asking this
may not be the best,
but now that Katie's gone,
I'm a shoo-in, right?
Right.
Wow, that's, like,
the best news I've heard all night.
Or is it day now?
Shit, I'm so confused.
Me, too.
Wait a minute.
Now that I think about it,
there's something
you could help us with.
Anything.
You were at the party
all night last night, right?
Yeah, absolutely.
You don't remember
anything remotely weird?
[sighs]
I really don't remember much.
I was pretty trashed.
It was only last night, Emily.
Just think.
Okay. I'm gonna try
real hard and remember.
Heh. Now that I think about it,
and don't get mad at me
for saying this, Lana,
but Jeff was acting
kind of weird last night.
I could be wrong,
but he was, like, hitting on me.
Yeah. I hate to admit it,
but I totally busted him flirting
with these two dumpy skanks.
Jeff is such
a sleazebag sometimes.
I cannot believe
you tolerate his shit.
There's something
about him, though.
Yeah, he's, like,
totally crazy about you.
[expels breath]
Crazy enough to kill
someone for you?
You're a goddess, baby.
I would do anything for you.
Okay, wait.
Now that I think about it,
Jeff has been acting really weird.
What do you mean by "weird"?
Okay, he is always weird.
No. Like, this whole last week,
every time we've had sex, he's been
making these, like, strange faces,
and then he just rushes
off right afterwards.
That's normal.
No.
Oh, wait. Wait.
How does that
make him the killer?
Well, I don't know, but... I mean,
it definitely shows a change
in his sexual behavior pattern.
Last time I saw him at the party,
he made this crazy, weird face like this.
- [gasps]
- Yeah.
Wait a minute.
I saw Jeff walking out
of your room last night
with that same look on his face.
- My room?
- Mm-hmm.
Emily, that's the kind of information
we needed, like, five minutes ago.
Holy shit. It was Jeff!
You guys, no, no, no, no.
This is crazy.
My own boyfriend the killer?
[mumbling]
I don't know.
Damn, baby!
You look amazing.
I thought you'd like it.
Can we talk for, like,
one second, though?
[scoffs]
There's just something
I've been meaning to tell you.
What's that?
I think I'm in love with you.
Wow, Jeff.
I'm serious.
I think I see a future with you.
I know. Crazy, right?
[starts]
I don't know what to say.
What's wrong?
I thought this was what
you've been wanting to hear.
I have been, it's just...
I guess I'm still
a little freaked out
about finding a dead body
in my room, you know?
Lana, just...
tell me what I can do
to make you happy again.
Take that!
[Jeff]
What the... Ow!
Guys! Ow!
[Zoey]
Jam the bra in his mouth.
- [muffled moan]
- Make sure it's on there real good.
Don't be afraid to hurt him.
Now start talking.
[muffled talking]
We know you killed Katie.
Record this.
I saw you walk out of Lana's room
last night, Jeff.
- [muffled talking]
- Yeah.
Right after you got
in a fight with Lana.
Right, Emily?
Tell us the truth, Jeffrey.
[muffled yelling]
Take the bra
out of his mouth.
Ow! God!
Damn crazy bitches!
Yeah, I do have something
to confess, but...
I knew it!
It's not what you think.
I had nothing to do
with the murder.
Nothing?
Hell, no!
I knew my baby boy
wasn't a killer.
Well, I do kind of
have this little camera
that videotapes us having sex.
- What?
- Ow!
How else am I supposed
to provide the lifestyle
- that you're used to?
- Who's seen this?
So, wait. Jeff's not the killer?
Not now, Zoey.
Sorry.
Some freshmen.
- What?
- Ow!
Freshmen? I could kill you.
Wait. Solve murder
and then kill boyfriend, okay?
- Right.
- Jeff's not a killer,
just a sleazebag
money-hungry pervert.
That's fair.
Wait, are you saying you have
this camera rolling all the time?
Most of the time.
Well, what about
last night at the party?
Oh, yeah, it was on.
I tried to get at it last night,
but that girl Katie was in here
all covered in vomit,
and I just bailed.
The tape from last night,
where is it?
Oh, it's over there behind your bed
in Bubble's mouth.
Look, stay here until
I come back and get you.
And try to sober up.
You're a disaster.
[drunken giggle]
Look, it's too bad
you had such a terrible night.
You probably won't
want to join now.
Are you kidding?
This was so much fun.
This was, like,
the best night of my life.
I love Omega Kappa!
[giggles]
Are you serious?
Absolutely.
Awesome.
[drunken grunting]
[chuckles]
Emily, what are you doing?
[Lana]
Oh, my God.
[Emily] Why are you guys
looking at me like that?
You're really freaking me out.
Emily, how could
you do this to us?
You guys are nuts!
Leave me alone.
Mai! Somebody, go get her!
- [Emily] Out of the way!
- [Jeff] Ow!
Get me out of these cuffs!
[Lana]
Well, I gotta go find the keys.
- [thump]
- Ow!
[Zoey]
Emily!
[Mai]
Emily, we just want to talk!
[Jeff]
Stupid... bitches!
[Emily]
You guys are crazy! I didn't kill Katie!
We don't want to hurt you.
We just need you to
talk to the detectives.
Everything is gonna be okay, Emily.
[grunting, screaming]
- Leave me alone!
- Oh, my God!
[screaming]
Hurry up!
Get up! Let's go! Let's go!
Get out the house!
Coming!
Found them. Sorry.
Hurry.
I'm trying.
All right.
You guard the tape.
I'm gonna go get
the power turned back on.
Wait, you're
leaving me by myself?
Yes!
- [radio static]
- Follow the girls.
They just took off running
north towards main street.
[starts engine]
[distant yelling]
What the hell?
- Ha ha, yeah! Come on, T.O.
- [snoring]
Catch the ball, baby.
Stop bellyachin', man.
[Man on radio]
Jaul, Santocki, wake up.
[girls screaming, sirens]
[Jaul]
Touchdown!
[laughs]
[girls screaming]
[girls screaming
incoherently]
All right, calm down.
Okay, calm down.
Calm down.
What do I do? What do I do?
- What do I do?
- The killer's in the house!
- The killer's in the house!
- The killer's in the house!
Not my sweet Emily.
[gasps]
[Katie]
Oh.
Hi.
This is for your own good.
[gasps]
No!
- [screaming]
- Shh.
[Lana gasping]
Nina?
Need something, Lana?
No, I was just...
I was gonna go to the bathroom.
I was a legacy, too, Lana.
- Remember?
- Yeah.
When I joined this house, I thought,
"Wow, this is my chance to change
and become cool."
I lost weight, bought new clothes,
but none of that mattered
because you all still saw me
as the legacy geek who
slid her way into this house.
You started giving me chores
and making me do your schoolwork.
Look, just put
the knife down, Nina.
We can talk about this.
Oh, no, there's nothing
to talk about.
You and everyone here hates me.
That's not true.
We love you.
You're okay.
Oh, you are the biggest manipulative bitch
I have ever met.
Now, you listen to me.
I wanted Katie
to leave this house,
but you wouldn't let her
because she was having
too much fun.
You listen.
When I thought about
what Katie was gonna
have to put up with
for the next four years,
I had to save her.
From you and your selfish,
awful, evil friends.
Look, I'm sorry, Nina.
I didn't know
you felt that way.
But it's really
not any easier being me.
I'm so sick of being
perfect all the time.
For once I wish I could just
eat whatever I wanted to,
or wear my glasses
instead of my contacts,
or not bleach my fucking hair
every three weeks.
Do you think I really
enjoy this life?
For once, I just wish
I could be normal.
Like you, Nina.
But in my world,
or my mother's world,
that's just not an option.
Well, then I guess
I'll be doing you a favor, too.
[Jeff]
Nina! Stop!
Ow! Stop hitting me!
Ow!
[crying]
Get off of me!
Get off of me!
No, leave me alone!
- Oh, my gosh.
- What's going on?
Lana?
Aw, yeah.
Aw, man.
I had her, you know.
Yeah, baby, I know.
[Woman]
I'm so glad you guys got here...
[Man] Okay, ma'am,
you ran out of the house?
[Woman]
Yeah.
[siren blaring]
You got her, Lana.
Good job.
I'm really sorry
about the tapes, Lana.
It's gonna take a lot
to make it up to me.
I know.
And next time,
I want half the profits.
[both chuckle]
Got it, partner.
[EKG beeping]
[Lana]
Has it already been three years?
Wow. Okay, updates.
Emily's now O.K. 's president,
following in my fabulous footsteps,
Zoey grew out
of her sex addiction
and stopped worrying about
her figure, obviously.
And Mai?
Mai's engaged,
and she'll make a gorgeous bride.
Or will Rachel be the bride?
It doesn't matter.
The gay marriage debate
just got much better looking.
That is, like, so great.
Lana Stevens.
Hey.
Oh, my God.
I bet you're wondering
about me and Jeff.
Well, let's just say
our extra-curricular activities
turned into a very
profitable business.
For both of us.
Well, time for all of you
to run along.
We O.K. s have a lot
of catching up to do.
Oh, my God.
Zoey is so out of shape.
Ugh, and Mai a lesbian?
So embarrassing.
Did you see that jacket
that Lana was wearing?
You know, I wonder
what ever happened to Nina.
- I'm O.K.
- [Girls chanting] Light pink, dark pink, O. K.
- Light pink, dark pink, O. K.
- I'm O. K.
- Light pink, dark pink, O. K.
- I'm O...
Light pink, dark pink, O. K.
That's my favorite color.
- Light pink, dark pink, O. K.
- O.K. O. K.
Light pink... Louder!
- Light pink, dark pink, O. K.
- O. K.
I'm O.K.
# Come down,
no hanging around #
# Slow down,
be ready to sit down #
# Run down, we're
bringing you to town #
# It's your time,
ready to rush, oh, yeah #
[Girls chanting]
Light pink, dark pink, O. K.
Light pink, dark pink, O. K.
# Going down,
your body is sound #
# You run around,
chasing the scene down #
# Got down, bringing
the scene to town #
# But you're just
a dirty slut, oh, yeah #
# Oh, yeah #
# Oh, oh, oh #
# You're not O.K. now,
you're not O.K. now #
# You're not O.K. now #
# You're not O.K. now,
you're not O.K. now #
# You're not O.K. now #
# You're not O.K. now,
you're not O.K. now #
# You're not O.K. now #
# You're not O.K. now,
you're not O.K. now #
# You're not O.K. now #
# You think that
you're a legacy #
# But they'll be
kicking you out the door #
# You come around
and dirty the town #
# You're such a clown,
always looking down #
# Your fake smile
and shiny teeth #
# Your personality
can't be beat, oh, yeah #
Light pink, dark pink, O. K.
Light pink, dark pink, O. K.
# It wouldn't take much
to make you mind #
# Something fraternities
exploitin' all the time #
# Your education's
on your back #
# Sorority girl #
# You're not O.K. now,
you're not O.K. now #
# You're not O.K. now #
# You're not O.K. now,
you're not O.K. now #
# You're not O.K. now #
# You're not O.K. now,
you're not O.K. now #
# You're not O.K. now #
# You're not O.K. now,
you're not O.K. now #
# You're not O.K. now #
# You're not O.K. now,
you're not O.K. now #
# You're not O.K. now #
# You're not O.K. now,
you're not O.K. now #
# You're not O.K. now #
# You're not O.K. now,
you're not O.K. now #
# You're not O.K. now #
# You're not O.K. now,
you're not O.K. now #
# You're not O.K. now #
# You think that
you're a legacy #
# But they'll be kicking
you out the door #