LEGO Jurassic Park: The Unofficial Retelling (2023) Movie Script
1
I forgot about that.
Put me off petting zoos for a decade.
Oh, hello, I didn't hear you come in.
I was completely distracted
going down memory lane.
Look what I found.
My journal of the events
that happened thirty years ago.
I call it
Chaos In The Jungle.
You know the tale?
Everything that happened
on the Island?
The big...
The beasts? The augh?
You never heard about it?
Well, then slip into
something comfortable
and settle your caboose
into that seat
because you are about to go
on an adventure of
prehistoric proportions.
It all started
on a casual island trip
and, well, casual turned into chaos
not long after that.
Oh look! My new friends.
That rough and tumble gentleman
is Alan Grant
and next to him is
the, oh, lovely Ellie Sattler
and next to her is the man
that paid for this shindig
billionaire John Hammond.
The gentleman sleeping is
Hammonds lawyer, Donald Gennaro.
And lookie here, finally there's
this handsome devil. Yours truly.
And you're... what was it again?
Paleo botanist.
Yes, yes, yes.
And expert in ancient plant life.
How interesting.
And you with the hat. The dirt
on your hands, eh, construction?
Paleontologist.
Ah, so you dig up dinosaurs.
A paleo botanist, a palaeontologist
it's all making sense.
And what is it you do, mister
Doctor, actually. Doctor Ian Malcolm
I was hired by the board
to evaluate the risks
in Mr. Hammonds latest endeavour.
I'm a mathematician by trade,
fashion icon by choice.
More like a rock star if you ask me.
I specialize in a small field
of study called Chaos Theory.
I'm sure you've heard if it.
No, I can't say that
I have. What is it?
It's... well, it's...
There is order, and then chaos
and order always ends up
turning to chaos
so chaos can, in turn, predict order.
Sounds interesting.
We are here.
Isla Nublar.
The name means
Cloud Island in Spanish. Pretty.
A hundred and twenty miles
west of Costa Rica
and filled with vegetation
and more trouble than
we could have ever imagined.
Come along. Come along. A lot to see.
This island is full of my dreams.
Big. Big dreams.
Let's stop here, shall we?
Alan, this plant has been extinct
since the Cretaceous Period, I...
That's...
That's a dinosaur.
He did it, he actually did it.
How fast is it?
Well we're not sure,
but the T-Rex can run
- 32 miles an hour.
- What?
You have a T-Rex?
Welcome to Jurassic Park.
How did you do it?
Let me show you.
Howdy! My name is Mister DNA!
Inside me are the building blocks
of everything on the planet.
Including dinosaurs.
I love cartoons, but Mister DNA
is a little too long winded.
Let me sum it up.
The scientists took blood
from this here prehistoric mosquito.
A mosquito that once sucked
the blood from dinosaurs
and combined that DNA with the DNA
from frogs to fill in the missing.
Oh hi.
As I was saying, the frog DNA
filled in any gaps and voila.
Dinosaur.
Exactly.
Life... found a way.
But it gets better.
From there we were taken
to the Velociraptor pen.
This is Robert Muldoon.
Game warden for Jurassic Park.
You have velociraptors in there?
Three. Each one requiring a large
healthy diet of meat once per day."
Are these Velociraptors dangerous?
Well, they're about
as fast as a cheetah
but far more intelligent.
They often work in a pack,
hunting together.
They have a giant 6 inch claw
they use to dismember their prey.
By the time you see the Velociraptor,
it's too late.
You're dead.
Oh, good!
Who's hungry?
I have a question.
What happens
if the dinosaurs get out?
Oh, pish posh.
Impossible!
How can you be so sure?
Well, here, let Ray explain.
This is Ray Arnold.
He's the man in charge of
making sure the park runs smoothly.
Hi, Ray.
John seems to think, wrongly
that this island is
completely impervious to harm.
John's right, as usual.
Here, let me show you something.
Dennis.
Bring up the schematics.
Dennis. Bring up the schematics.
We've got 50 miles
of high powered electric fencing
with enough of a shock to knock out
the toughest lizard we've got.
The only way they get out
is if we let them out.
- That's it?
- Okay, enough of that.
It's time for the tour!
Dennis.
Oh, yeah. Tour.
Right away, boss.
We were finally on our way
to see some dinosaurs
when some unexpected guests arrived.
Grandpa!
Hello, children.
Ian, Alan, Ellie,
I'd like to introduce you
to my grandchildren,
Tim and Lex Murphy.
They are going
to accompany you on the tour.
Isn't that, you know, dangerous?
Of course not.
It's as safe
as any amusement park ride.
Yes, well, most amusement park rides
if they break down, the robots
don't come alive and eat you.
You need to get out more, Ian.
Don't worry,
they can ride with my lawyer.
He's the most
risk adverse man I know.
Hurry up, everyone into
our automated electric vehicles.
I've spared no expense.
How much did you spend exactly?
Grandpa, aren't you coming?
No, no. I'll stay here
and monitor everything
to make sure your tour
is as exciting as possible!
Ah, those gates were huge.
I'd love to have
a pair of those in my drive way.
Keep the fans out.
Anyway, we moved through the gates
and drove around
for what felt like hours.
But, sadly...
There's no dinosaurs!
This tour stinks.
Oh, you're right. It does stink.
What is that?
That is the biggest pile of...
You know what
I've only smelled something
that bad once before.
Kids, oysters on a cruise ship
are a big no no.
But, there we were.
Staring at a poor, sick Triceratops,
with an angry tummy.
We've all been there.
What's wrong with her?
I'm afraid she might
have eaten something
that made her tummy a bit rumbly.
If I can dig through her stool
I should be able to help
figure out what's going on.
Oh! You're going to stick
your hands in there?
Yeah, I brought gloves!
I'm sorry we have
to cut the tour short.
Ray has informed me that there is
a tropical storm headed this way.
We're gathering all the employees
and sending them back
to the mainland by boat.
Not the way I wanted this to go.
I-I think I can help this Triceratops
but I need some more time.
Can I get a ride back with you?
That's fine.
I've got a gas powered vehicle
so I can probably give you
another ten minutes
Ellie, are you sure?
Yeah. Go. I'll be right behind you.
Now, let's dig for treasure!
Hey, guys. I'm gonna go grab a snack
from the vending machine.
You guys want anything? My treat!
Okay, see ya!
What a weird guy.
I always thought that
Dennis was up to something nefarious.
It turns out I was right.
Well, hello my pretties.
So clever.
And with my baby smooth skin,
no one will think twice
that I'm sneaking dinosaur embryos to
Hammond's competitors inside of it.
A million and half dollars
was never so easy to earn.
In five, four, three, two, one!
No, no, I'm just kidding.
It was scary though.
Outside of the security room
power to various services
shut down all over the park
just as Ellie made it back
to the security room.
Something strange was afoot.
Power is down all over the park.
How is that possible?
I don't know.
Hey! Where are Alan and the kids?
According to the map, it looks like
their vehicles have just powered down
next to the T-rex paddock.
The T-rex paddock?
Robert, go get my grandchildren.
Wait for me.
Why did we stop?
The power must have gone out.
Maybe there's a flashlight somewhere.
Oh! These are awesome!
Did you hear that?
What is that?
Forget it, I'd rather not know.
Boy, I hate being right all the time.
Keep absolutely still.
Where is he going?
When you gotta go,
I guess you gotta go.
Oh, at least
the kids are safe, right?
Hammond spared no expense.
Turn the light off. Turn it off.
Turn it off, Lex! Turn it off!
I'm sorry, I...
Yup, totally safe.
Over here!
No, not them. Over here!
Pick me! Pick me!
Help the kids! Help the kids!
My plan worked, I had got
the dinosaur's attention.
It was chasing me
instead of the kids.
I ran. And then...
you know, I'm not sure
what happened after that.
Give me your hand! I've got you!
Don't. Move.
Tim! Tim!
Get on my back.
Tim!
I'm okay!
I can't see anything in this rain!
Which way is the dock?
It's so muddy.
Hey, little guy.
Don't mind me.
Wanna play catch?
What, did you have Italian
for dinner?
I can't see!
I can't see!
Now, kids. I want to make sure
our younger viewers are spared
anything unsavory.
Besides, I'm sure that Dennis and
the dinosaur probably played a game
or maybe had a nice glass of tea.
In fact, they might still
be having that tea as
we never saw dear Dennis again.
Anyway...
let's get back to
the most important part of the story
me.
Ian!
Where's Alan? Where are the kids?
He was in the car
and then the T-Rex.
- The what?
- The T-Rex!
Oh, we should go.
Come on, get in, get in.
Must go faster.
Do something!
As we barely escaped
the jaws of death
thanks to my quick thinking
Alan and the kids were
snuggled safely above ground
where they met a much friendlier
and nosier dinosaur.
It's alright.
It's alright.
That's a Brachiosaurus.
They're herbivores.
They have no interest
in the likes of us.
Wow.
They're kind of pretty.
Bless you.
I'm covered in dino-snot!
Yes.
Well, come on. We'll get you
cleaned up at the Visitor Center.
I think I know where it is, and I bet
your grandpa is worried to death.
I'm worried to death!
Ian! Where are the kids?
Last I saw them,
the T-Rex was, well...
Don't worry, Mister Hammond.
I know Alan.
He'll keep your grandkids safe.
I'm glad someone will.
Because hold onto
your butts, my friends
I think Dennis was the one
that sabotaged the island.
It looks like he planted a virus
causing all the security protocols
to shut down.
In order to get
the systems back online
I need someone
to go to the power room
and flip the switch
to reroute the power.
Then head to the control center
to reboot the system.
That should be easy enough.
It would be except between here
and there is the Velociraptor pen
and I'm pretty sure they've escaped.
I'll go.
And I'll make sure
you get there alive.
Oh look, it's my neighbor.
Wow. That's quite the set
up there. I'm impressed.
You know, you've really got
an eye for this.
Isn't he great? Always creating
something magnificent.
Sharks. Dinosaurs.
Oh, wow.
Well, you can always rebuild it.
Now, where were we? Oh, right!
Kids, I'm gonna look for the others.
Stay here and get something to eat,
I'll be back in a minute.
Food!
They're here. I'll lead them away
while you turn on the power.
- Be careful.
- Of course.
Alright, come out, come out
wherever you...
Clever girl.
Sorry, just working on
some Chaos Theory.
You know, crunching those numbers.
Oh, speaking of crunching.
Muldoon, well, kids
maybe he met Dennis
for that cup of tea
because we never
saw him again either.
So back to the story.
It tastes so good.
Tim?
I'm going to eat so much food.
All the food. Every piece of food...
Tim!
Don't worry, they can't open doors.
How am I supposed to know
which one to flip?
Ellie?
Alan! You're alive.
Barely. What are you doing out here?
We have to reboot
the security system.
I've primed the power, we just need
to make our way to the control room.
Where are the kids?
I left them here, I...
Run!
To the control room!
Go! Go!
The computer!
Reboot the system!
Come on!
Come on, Lex!
You're the computer genius.
- Hold on!
- Hurry up!
Ellie did it! The security systems
are coming back online!
Call a chopper for
our immediate evacuation.
On it!
How are we gonna get out of here?
The air ducts.
We'll take them
toward the Visitor Center
and from there
we should be able to get out.
Come on!
We're here!
The Bones! Everyone on the bones.
Stay behind me!
We were planning on it.
Now! Run!
Kids! Get in!
And with that, John's dream,
well, had become a nightmare.
If only there was someone
that could have warned him about it.
Oh, wait.
I did.
They were so busy
thinking about whether or not
they could create a dinosaur
they didn't stop
to think if they should.
And, well, look what happened.
That's chaos for you,
always unpredictable.
Thankfully we all left the island
that day with our limbs intact.
I wish I could say that was
my last interaction with dinosaurs
but...
no.
In fact, I have another journal here.
Oh, where is it?
Would you look at that! I call it
Lost World!
Pretty catchy, right?
I'm sure you have time
for another story?
Yes?
No?
Okay.
Well, it was great to see you.
I think I'll go help him
with the fountain.
Bye!
Could I have my journal back?
Please? The Lost World was great!
Mostly because it was
all about me, but hey...
Please! Don't leave.
Translator: SPECTRA MEDIA
I forgot about that.
Put me off petting zoos for a decade.
Oh, hello, I didn't hear you come in.
I was completely distracted
going down memory lane.
Look what I found.
My journal of the events
that happened thirty years ago.
I call it
Chaos In The Jungle.
You know the tale?
Everything that happened
on the Island?
The big...
The beasts? The augh?
You never heard about it?
Well, then slip into
something comfortable
and settle your caboose
into that seat
because you are about to go
on an adventure of
prehistoric proportions.
It all started
on a casual island trip
and, well, casual turned into chaos
not long after that.
Oh look! My new friends.
That rough and tumble gentleman
is Alan Grant
and next to him is
the, oh, lovely Ellie Sattler
and next to her is the man
that paid for this shindig
billionaire John Hammond.
The gentleman sleeping is
Hammonds lawyer, Donald Gennaro.
And lookie here, finally there's
this handsome devil. Yours truly.
And you're... what was it again?
Paleo botanist.
Yes, yes, yes.
And expert in ancient plant life.
How interesting.
And you with the hat. The dirt
on your hands, eh, construction?
Paleontologist.
Ah, so you dig up dinosaurs.
A paleo botanist, a palaeontologist
it's all making sense.
And what is it you do, mister
Doctor, actually. Doctor Ian Malcolm
I was hired by the board
to evaluate the risks
in Mr. Hammonds latest endeavour.
I'm a mathematician by trade,
fashion icon by choice.
More like a rock star if you ask me.
I specialize in a small field
of study called Chaos Theory.
I'm sure you've heard if it.
No, I can't say that
I have. What is it?
It's... well, it's...
There is order, and then chaos
and order always ends up
turning to chaos
so chaos can, in turn, predict order.
Sounds interesting.
We are here.
Isla Nublar.
The name means
Cloud Island in Spanish. Pretty.
A hundred and twenty miles
west of Costa Rica
and filled with vegetation
and more trouble than
we could have ever imagined.
Come along. Come along. A lot to see.
This island is full of my dreams.
Big. Big dreams.
Let's stop here, shall we?
Alan, this plant has been extinct
since the Cretaceous Period, I...
That's...
That's a dinosaur.
He did it, he actually did it.
How fast is it?
Well we're not sure,
but the T-Rex can run
- 32 miles an hour.
- What?
You have a T-Rex?
Welcome to Jurassic Park.
How did you do it?
Let me show you.
Howdy! My name is Mister DNA!
Inside me are the building blocks
of everything on the planet.
Including dinosaurs.
I love cartoons, but Mister DNA
is a little too long winded.
Let me sum it up.
The scientists took blood
from this here prehistoric mosquito.
A mosquito that once sucked
the blood from dinosaurs
and combined that DNA with the DNA
from frogs to fill in the missing.
Oh hi.
As I was saying, the frog DNA
filled in any gaps and voila.
Dinosaur.
Exactly.
Life... found a way.
But it gets better.
From there we were taken
to the Velociraptor pen.
This is Robert Muldoon.
Game warden for Jurassic Park.
You have velociraptors in there?
Three. Each one requiring a large
healthy diet of meat once per day."
Are these Velociraptors dangerous?
Well, they're about
as fast as a cheetah
but far more intelligent.
They often work in a pack,
hunting together.
They have a giant 6 inch claw
they use to dismember their prey.
By the time you see the Velociraptor,
it's too late.
You're dead.
Oh, good!
Who's hungry?
I have a question.
What happens
if the dinosaurs get out?
Oh, pish posh.
Impossible!
How can you be so sure?
Well, here, let Ray explain.
This is Ray Arnold.
He's the man in charge of
making sure the park runs smoothly.
Hi, Ray.
John seems to think, wrongly
that this island is
completely impervious to harm.
John's right, as usual.
Here, let me show you something.
Dennis.
Bring up the schematics.
Dennis. Bring up the schematics.
We've got 50 miles
of high powered electric fencing
with enough of a shock to knock out
the toughest lizard we've got.
The only way they get out
is if we let them out.
- That's it?
- Okay, enough of that.
It's time for the tour!
Dennis.
Oh, yeah. Tour.
Right away, boss.
We were finally on our way
to see some dinosaurs
when some unexpected guests arrived.
Grandpa!
Hello, children.
Ian, Alan, Ellie,
I'd like to introduce you
to my grandchildren,
Tim and Lex Murphy.
They are going
to accompany you on the tour.
Isn't that, you know, dangerous?
Of course not.
It's as safe
as any amusement park ride.
Yes, well, most amusement park rides
if they break down, the robots
don't come alive and eat you.
You need to get out more, Ian.
Don't worry,
they can ride with my lawyer.
He's the most
risk adverse man I know.
Hurry up, everyone into
our automated electric vehicles.
I've spared no expense.
How much did you spend exactly?
Grandpa, aren't you coming?
No, no. I'll stay here
and monitor everything
to make sure your tour
is as exciting as possible!
Ah, those gates were huge.
I'd love to have
a pair of those in my drive way.
Keep the fans out.
Anyway, we moved through the gates
and drove around
for what felt like hours.
But, sadly...
There's no dinosaurs!
This tour stinks.
Oh, you're right. It does stink.
What is that?
That is the biggest pile of...
You know what
I've only smelled something
that bad once before.
Kids, oysters on a cruise ship
are a big no no.
But, there we were.
Staring at a poor, sick Triceratops,
with an angry tummy.
We've all been there.
What's wrong with her?
I'm afraid she might
have eaten something
that made her tummy a bit rumbly.
If I can dig through her stool
I should be able to help
figure out what's going on.
Oh! You're going to stick
your hands in there?
Yeah, I brought gloves!
I'm sorry we have
to cut the tour short.
Ray has informed me that there is
a tropical storm headed this way.
We're gathering all the employees
and sending them back
to the mainland by boat.
Not the way I wanted this to go.
I-I think I can help this Triceratops
but I need some more time.
Can I get a ride back with you?
That's fine.
I've got a gas powered vehicle
so I can probably give you
another ten minutes
Ellie, are you sure?
Yeah. Go. I'll be right behind you.
Now, let's dig for treasure!
Hey, guys. I'm gonna go grab a snack
from the vending machine.
You guys want anything? My treat!
Okay, see ya!
What a weird guy.
I always thought that
Dennis was up to something nefarious.
It turns out I was right.
Well, hello my pretties.
So clever.
And with my baby smooth skin,
no one will think twice
that I'm sneaking dinosaur embryos to
Hammond's competitors inside of it.
A million and half dollars
was never so easy to earn.
In five, four, three, two, one!
No, no, I'm just kidding.
It was scary though.
Outside of the security room
power to various services
shut down all over the park
just as Ellie made it back
to the security room.
Something strange was afoot.
Power is down all over the park.
How is that possible?
I don't know.
Hey! Where are Alan and the kids?
According to the map, it looks like
their vehicles have just powered down
next to the T-rex paddock.
The T-rex paddock?
Robert, go get my grandchildren.
Wait for me.
Why did we stop?
The power must have gone out.
Maybe there's a flashlight somewhere.
Oh! These are awesome!
Did you hear that?
What is that?
Forget it, I'd rather not know.
Boy, I hate being right all the time.
Keep absolutely still.
Where is he going?
When you gotta go,
I guess you gotta go.
Oh, at least
the kids are safe, right?
Hammond spared no expense.
Turn the light off. Turn it off.
Turn it off, Lex! Turn it off!
I'm sorry, I...
Yup, totally safe.
Over here!
No, not them. Over here!
Pick me! Pick me!
Help the kids! Help the kids!
My plan worked, I had got
the dinosaur's attention.
It was chasing me
instead of the kids.
I ran. And then...
you know, I'm not sure
what happened after that.
Give me your hand! I've got you!
Don't. Move.
Tim! Tim!
Get on my back.
Tim!
I'm okay!
I can't see anything in this rain!
Which way is the dock?
It's so muddy.
Hey, little guy.
Don't mind me.
Wanna play catch?
What, did you have Italian
for dinner?
I can't see!
I can't see!
Now, kids. I want to make sure
our younger viewers are spared
anything unsavory.
Besides, I'm sure that Dennis and
the dinosaur probably played a game
or maybe had a nice glass of tea.
In fact, they might still
be having that tea as
we never saw dear Dennis again.
Anyway...
let's get back to
the most important part of the story
me.
Ian!
Where's Alan? Where are the kids?
He was in the car
and then the T-Rex.
- The what?
- The T-Rex!
Oh, we should go.
Come on, get in, get in.
Must go faster.
Do something!
As we barely escaped
the jaws of death
thanks to my quick thinking
Alan and the kids were
snuggled safely above ground
where they met a much friendlier
and nosier dinosaur.
It's alright.
It's alright.
That's a Brachiosaurus.
They're herbivores.
They have no interest
in the likes of us.
Wow.
They're kind of pretty.
Bless you.
I'm covered in dino-snot!
Yes.
Well, come on. We'll get you
cleaned up at the Visitor Center.
I think I know where it is, and I bet
your grandpa is worried to death.
I'm worried to death!
Ian! Where are the kids?
Last I saw them,
the T-Rex was, well...
Don't worry, Mister Hammond.
I know Alan.
He'll keep your grandkids safe.
I'm glad someone will.
Because hold onto
your butts, my friends
I think Dennis was the one
that sabotaged the island.
It looks like he planted a virus
causing all the security protocols
to shut down.
In order to get
the systems back online
I need someone
to go to the power room
and flip the switch
to reroute the power.
Then head to the control center
to reboot the system.
That should be easy enough.
It would be except between here
and there is the Velociraptor pen
and I'm pretty sure they've escaped.
I'll go.
And I'll make sure
you get there alive.
Oh look, it's my neighbor.
Wow. That's quite the set
up there. I'm impressed.
You know, you've really got
an eye for this.
Isn't he great? Always creating
something magnificent.
Sharks. Dinosaurs.
Oh, wow.
Well, you can always rebuild it.
Now, where were we? Oh, right!
Kids, I'm gonna look for the others.
Stay here and get something to eat,
I'll be back in a minute.
Food!
They're here. I'll lead them away
while you turn on the power.
- Be careful.
- Of course.
Alright, come out, come out
wherever you...
Clever girl.
Sorry, just working on
some Chaos Theory.
You know, crunching those numbers.
Oh, speaking of crunching.
Muldoon, well, kids
maybe he met Dennis
for that cup of tea
because we never
saw him again either.
So back to the story.
It tastes so good.
Tim?
I'm going to eat so much food.
All the food. Every piece of food...
Tim!
Don't worry, they can't open doors.
How am I supposed to know
which one to flip?
Ellie?
Alan! You're alive.
Barely. What are you doing out here?
We have to reboot
the security system.
I've primed the power, we just need
to make our way to the control room.
Where are the kids?
I left them here, I...
Run!
To the control room!
Go! Go!
The computer!
Reboot the system!
Come on!
Come on, Lex!
You're the computer genius.
- Hold on!
- Hurry up!
Ellie did it! The security systems
are coming back online!
Call a chopper for
our immediate evacuation.
On it!
How are we gonna get out of here?
The air ducts.
We'll take them
toward the Visitor Center
and from there
we should be able to get out.
Come on!
We're here!
The Bones! Everyone on the bones.
Stay behind me!
We were planning on it.
Now! Run!
Kids! Get in!
And with that, John's dream,
well, had become a nightmare.
If only there was someone
that could have warned him about it.
Oh, wait.
I did.
They were so busy
thinking about whether or not
they could create a dinosaur
they didn't stop
to think if they should.
And, well, look what happened.
That's chaos for you,
always unpredictable.
Thankfully we all left the island
that day with our limbs intact.
I wish I could say that was
my last interaction with dinosaurs
but...
no.
In fact, I have another journal here.
Oh, where is it?
Would you look at that! I call it
Lost World!
Pretty catchy, right?
I'm sure you have time
for another story?
Yes?
No?
Okay.
Well, it was great to see you.
I think I'll go help him
with the fountain.
Bye!
Could I have my journal back?
Please? The Lost World was great!
Mostly because it was
all about me, but hey...
Please! Don't leave.
Translator: SPECTRA MEDIA