Leprechaun: Back 2 tha Hood (2003) Movie Script

There was a time long ago
when evil men
with greed in their hearts
would lay siege to the king
that possessed the ancient treasures
of the dark ages.
But the king was in league
with creatures of magic...
forest spirits...
These guardians summoned
from the earth to protect the gold
from falling into the hands
of evil men...
of wicked men.
The legend of their ferocity
spread through the land
and all would know not to trifle
with these creatures.
The king's reign would
come to an end.
And the leprechauns
would find their home again
back in Mother Nature's embrace.
Except for the myth of the one...
the one that did not go back.
(wheezing, coughing)
(thunder rumbles)
No, no!
(man whispering)
(sinister giggling)
- Where is it?
- (gasping) It's gone.
You can't hide it from me,
The rainbow always
points to me treasure.
Never again, foul creature.
You're going back
to hell tonight.
The Lord will help me send you.
Poor misguided Jacob.
Even if you steal for God
you still have
to pay the devil.
Damn clovers.
The Lord is at my side.
In the name of the Father,
I condemn thee
to the valley
in the shadow of death.
- I shall not fear your evil.
- Take the gold! Take it all!
Just don't send me back.
Back into the earth, back into the grave
whence you came,
I banish thee, spawn of Satan!
Help me!
Help! Help!
(voices whispering)
I'm sorry.
They hiring at the salon?
Fool, it's a woman's salon.
What you gonna do up in there?
I could give massages.
Or I could help with those bikini waxes.
- Bikini wax?
- Yeah, you know what I'm saying?
A little mohawk, a little triangle.
I'm the fucking bomb with that shit.
- I'll hook you up for free.
- Shut up.
Woman: They got everybody's
hopes up for no reason.
Man: Yeah, they broke
as a motherfucker now.
Anyone ever figure out
what happened to the money?
No. It vanished.
I guess the project died
with Father Jacob.
Damn. How come every time
something good is about to happen,
somebody always gotta
go and fuck it up?
- # Things were much better... #
- She is fine as hell. Ow!
- Girl, hey!
- Girl what?
# The days are much clearer... #
Be back in an hour or two.
# I can't reach back
and hold it in my hands #
# Those days live on
in my mind... #
(engine revs)
(rap music playing)
Man: Come on, man,
let's jack this punk.
Know what I'm saying?
Fool must be stupid.
Come here.
- Yeah you, punk!
- Shit.
Wassup, Watson?
Don't "Hey Watson" me,
you motherfucker.
What the fuck is this shit?
What the fuck is this shit?
What the fuck is this shit?!
Man, that was a Christmas gift
from my mom.
Shut up, punk!
Turn this fool over.
All right, wait, listen!
Hold on.
Ah, no!
Why you gotta do this, man?
Watson! Listen!
- Come on, man.
- What the fuck is this?
(engine revs)
You need something, punk?
I didn't think so, motherfucker.
You better have my shit
by the end of this week.
Understand me, motherfucker?
Give me these motherfuckin' shoes.
End of the week, punk.
# No sleep, gotta stay up,
can't sleep, gotta stay up #
# Won't sleep,
gotta wake up... #
# Here we go, come on, come on,
I like them big, small... #
Hey girl, what you gonna do
with all that cash?
I'm saving up for college,
when I go to Kansas State.
What you gonna do
with your ashy ass in Kansas?
There ain't no black people
in that motherfucker.
Girl, she's going somewhere
over the rainbow.
Excuse you, Grandma!
That child is always trippin'.
Can I get some service
up in here?
Will you be having work done
to your extensions?
First of all, this ain't no
nappy-ass weave.
Go ahead, feel it.
Feel it.
Right, so like I said,
can I get some service
up in here?
Woman: Hurry up!
Huh-uh, girl, this ain't
what I wanted.
I knew I should've
had Yolanda cut it.
Let me just trim a little off the edges.
I need to layer in the back anyway.
This don't look like no
Julia Roberts.
I look like
- Yolanda!
- Emily, come here!
I'm sorry,
she keeps changing her mind.
- She said she wanted long and curly.
- Don't back-talk, girl.
We got customers waiting. And if you
can't cut hair faster than this,
you gonna get
your dumb ass replaced.
Looks good on this motherfucker,
right? Wow!
Vroom, vroom!
All through the hood, son.
Where you off to, Jackson?
Punk-ass nigga drinking Kool-Aid.
It's Powerade,
you illiterate motherfucker.
That's why you don't drop out of school
before you learn how to read.
- Motherfucker, I'll beat your...
- Cedric!
You doing good for yourself,
little brother.
You only on the streets a few months
and already you're a big spender.
Just making ends meet, man.
The only problem that you making is
being on our part of this motherfucker.
I don't wanna fight you,
Do we understand each other?
My brother.
Punk-ass motherfucker.
What, nigga?
Yeah, get the fuck outta here.
Nigga shook
like a motherfucker.
"Watson, I don't want
to fight with you." Bitch-ass nigga.
Watson, you had the nigga's heart
going like this, son.
You should've let me pop
that motherfucker.
Fuck that nigga bitch.
Oh, hell no!
- Kill that motherfucker!
- Fuck!
(hip-hop music playing)
Hey, you want to go out Friday?
Mmmm... no.
- What, you got plans?
- No, I ain't got no plans.
Well, what's up then?
When we going to hang out?
We ain't gonna hang out.
Besides, what we do anyway
if we went on a date?
See, first of all,
we'll go somewhere real nice.
Then we'll drive to the beach,
lay out a blanket...
you can have one of them
tight-ass bikinis on,
then all the dudes'll be staring,
like "Damn, she is fine!"
The only thing is you're with me,
so they would suffer.
- That sounds good.
- For real?
Except for a few things.
One, you ain't got no car
to drive us in.
Two, you ain't got no money.
And three,
you ain't got me.
Oh... hey,
what about Saturday?
No? Sunday?
- Emily: How about dentistry?
- Woman: Huh-uh, girl,
I do not want to be sticking my hands
down people's nasty-ass mouths all day.
(pop, hissing)
Woman: Oh my God.
Emily: Looks like you're gonna
be taking a bus to school.
Come on, it's just a car.
When is it going
to get better for us, Em?
Why our lives
got to be like this?
We just got the bitter end
of things right now.
But it's going to get better.
- Promise?
- Promise.
Besides, you don't want
that old beat up car.
You're too cute for that car.
I know, huh.
Come on.
I thought you were
saving your money up.
You coming or what?
This building should've fell down
yesterday. I'm not going in there.
If you're scared...
I'm not scared.
Good to see you again,
Um, it's Emily.
- (laughing)
- Close enough.
What are you laughing at, Lisa?
(Emily snickers)
- How do you know my name?
- Come, sit.
All will be revealed.
I see peril coming.
Danger awaits you.
- Rory?
- Is that why we came here?
- Hush, Linda.
- Lisa.
You've suffered a great loss,
like so many other times
in your life.
It began with the loss
of your parents,
and it has come to this.
The nest egg you have
created is gone,
along with the bird
that stole it.
I see wealth in your future.
You will come
into it very soon.
Oh, child, I speak of riches
beyond your wildest dreams.
That sounds good.
But it must be denied,
for it will come
at a high price.
Wait, wait, why it got
to be denied?
At what price?
The very fabric of your essence
will be torn apart.
It must be denied.
Heed my words,
Erika and Linda.
(exhales heavily)
An evil so dark will come
to reclaim it.
Does that always happen?
(exhales heavily)
This that good shit, dawg.
Rory don't play.
You know you want some
of this, dawg.
No, no, you can't have none.
Huh-uh, this is my bud.
If you want your own,
you better go out and get a job,
get paid, and then you'll be able
to buy your own shit.
- (barking)
- (mimics barking)
What the fuck is this?
Rory got some fucked up
agriculture going on, up in this mother.
Boy, you talking
to that dog again?
- Just the man I was looking for.
- Man, I'm going to tell you right now,
there aren't any clovers in my bud,
so chill with that shit.
Man, it was filled
with the motherfuckers.
Satisfaction guaranteed!
- And I ain't no satisfied customer.
- Satisfied customer?
- Do I look like a Kmart?
- Man, I know my rights.
And that shit wasn't right.
All right, where the clovers at?
I knew you was gonna say that.
That's why I brought these bitches.
They right here.
Bag of motherfucking lucky charms.
Show your ass
right fucking now.
Man, I must've left
the motherfuckers at the crib.
Left them at the crib?
Check this out...
next time make sure you bring them
with your sorry ass
'cause no proof,
no motherfucking refund, all right?
All right, man, damn.
You ain't gotta get all up in my shit.
I'll bring them, you'll see.
Filled with clovers, ninja.
- Nigga, did you just call me a ninja?
- Hey, man.
You need to get out more, man.
Don't nobody say nigga no more.
- Ninja?
- Yeah, like, "What up, ninja?"
"Oh, look at them ninjas
over there."
You need to stop smoking that shit,
you dumb ass nigga.
Ninja, please.
- Uh-oh, who's the mafia guy?
- Hey, homey.
Shut the fuck up man, or leave.
This is business.
What's up, Marcos?
Got something for you here.
Got something for you.
I'm gonna be needing some more
in about a week.
My clients love this shit.
I swear I sell more
because of this "chronic."
Just make sure
you hit me up before you do.
I'm sorry, hit you up?
- Call me.
- All right. My nigga.
- (tires screeching)
- Man: What?
Man, who you calling nigga,
Uh... I thought
we were cool.
No one says that anymore.
It's ninja.
- Yeah.
- My ninja.
Okay... my ninja.
My ninja.
My bad, fellas.
Play on, playas.
You look good.
That guy looks good.
That's baby Jordan
over there.
Okay, I'll look for you
in the pros.
- Oh God, oh God, oh God!
- Almost got his ass kicked.
Don't matter, man.
It's all green, know what I'm saying?
Why we couldn't do this at the park,
like normal people?
What park? You see any parks
around here?
How about the beach?
Why you wanna go to the beach
when we got all of this right here?
'Cause I need to work on my tan.
- Girl, you a mess.
- Jamie: Yeah, that's right.
All my hos be cooking.
Where my dinner at?
You are so ghetto.
- Hey, Daddy's home.
- (giggles)
- Yeah. Get your...
- (motorcycle approaches)
How could you afford this?
Well, I had a little help.
Jamie, I'm going to kill you.
I didn't have the money
for the food
and I asked him would he float me,
and he said no.
He asked what for, and I told
him we was having a barbecue,
and that you was gonna be here.
That's when he bought this extra shit.
Kid: Asshole.
He even bought wings,
and some hot sauce.
You know how much
I love my hot sauce, girl.
- What's up, man?
- What's up, man?
- What up?
- Not much.
What's up, Em?
- You told her I was coming, right?
- Hell yeah, she's just shy.
Here, have a 40.
It's a shame they never
finished this, huh?
We ain't got nothing
to say to each other, Rory.
# A- L-L D-A-Y #
# You're so fly,
you're my type of guy #
# A- L-L D-A-Y #
# So true,
it's about nothing but you #
# A- L-L D-A-Y, you're so fly,
you're my type of guy... #
I didn't choose
this life for myself.
Don't act all high and mighty.
I never asked you for anything.
No, I was just dumb,
looking out for you.
I didn't want you
to give up shit for me.
- But I gave up everything.
- I tried to pay you back, right?
With drug money. You think
I was gonna take that, Rory?
Then you really are stupid.
Oh, shit!
Are you all right?
Get me outta here!
- Take this, okay?
- Okay.
I'll be right back with some rope.
(door rattles)
- (creaking)
- (gasps)
You scared
the piss out of me.
You don't have
to worry about me.
You're welcome.
What's that?
- I don't know.
- Let me see what's in it.
Wait a minute.
Holy shit...
How much do you
think they're worth?
Weigh about 8 ounces...
I'd say about 4 or 5K apiece.
Maybe more if they're old.
- (laughs)
- You would know the weight.
That's like 200 coins.
That's a million dollars.
That's 50 coins each.
- Nice.
- What are you talking about?
- Sounds fair to me, baby.
- Of course it does to you.
- She found it.
- Fuck you.
Hey, there's more than enough.
We can all benefit from this.
Lisa, I want you
to take some of this money,
and buy yourself a new car.
So you don't have
to take the bus to school, okay?
And, Rory,
I want you
to do the right thing.
- Jamie?
- Yeah! Wassup, baby?
You can not use the gold
to buy bud.
- What?
- No bud!
- Damn!
- You heard me.
What you laughing at?
It ain't funny.
# We're in the money! #
- All right, all right. Yeah, baby.
- Yeah.
(creature grunting)
hip-hop music playing)
(hip-hop song playing)
Welcome to my lair.
Happening, right here.
You like?
Look at this.
This is my first one.
I got it when I was
in the fourth grade.
- Fourth grade?
- Fourth grade.
- For real.
- That explains a lot.
- That's phat, man.
- Yeah, look at this motherfucker.
- Okay, what about this?
- I can't even touch that.
Yeah, you can touch it. You just gotta
stroke it, stroke it right.
She like to be stroked.
Yes, that will put you
on your ass.
I need to get high right now!
- Yeah.
- Oh, man.
Hey, baby.
- What's up, baby?
- Y'all fucking?
- Hey, you know how we do, baby.
- You do your thing, man.
Hey, you don't mind if I sit back
and run one of these, right?
No, it's all good.
My shit is your shit, baby.
- Mi casa es su casa.
- We need more black people like you.
(hip-hop music continuing)
What's up, girl?
Huh-uh, he did not just
walk up in here with that skeez.
Oh, this is some good shit!
Oh no.
Yo, what's up, little man?
How you living, dawg?
You want some?
You want a hit, man?
Yeah, I haven't smoked
a good pipe in a long time.
Keep going, keep going.
Keep going. Let go. Let go.
- Yeah, yeah.
- (laughs)
- You like that, huh?
- That's good shit.
Nigga, it come
straight from Korea.
This ain't gonna stunt
your growth or anything, is it?
(coughs, laughs)
Yeah, you my nigga, man.
I like you, dude.
I like you a lot, man.
You know what I'm saying?
Just smoking out...
I'll go get you some more, dude.
Don't be stingy
on the shit, though.
(both laugh)
Oh, small man, you cool.
Oh, man.
Where'd you get that?
Oh hey, man, you don't even need
to worry about that, little man.
We just here to smoke, all right?
You know.
That's me gold.
Now give it back.
There's a good boy.
I'm gonna get you high, and you have
the nerve to ask me for my money?
Man, fuck you. You don't get...
Man, fuck you.
I'll hit a midget, man.
Get the fuck out of here,
you hallucinating motherfucker.
What? What?
You gonna get in my face?
Man, give me
my bong back, bitch.
Aw, man.
Thanks for the smoke.
Man, who the fuck
just took my shit?
Man, you niggas are crazy!
Can't a motherfucker enjoy a smoke
in his own goddamn house,
without somebody
stealing his shit?! Motherfuckers.
(music continuing)
That girl should be ashamed.
So you ain't got no beef
with nobody on the street, huh?
You think this might've
been Watson's gang?
No, man. I told you,
I squared everything.
What about all the ganja
you guys were smoking?
What ganja?
Oh, man.
My mom's l-talian.
She like a lot of oregano
with her lasagna.
If you know anything,
now is the time to speak up.
- I told you everything.
- We don't know anything else.
- Don't bullshit me!
- Hold up, man.
You've been making a lot
of moves on the street
in the past couple
of days, Rory.
Something tells me
you know exactly what's going on.
Look, don't trip.
We're gonna get you out.
Man, I can't be
nobody's prison bitch.
Don't leave me in there.
I know what they do.
I can't be tossing
nobody's salad.
Knock it off.
Knock it off.
Yo, don't worry, man.
We're coming to get you.
It's going to be okay, Jamie.
It's real.
Can we speed this up, please?
Thank you.
# Ooh, that's what we yell
when that ass looking phat... #
How long this gonna take?
# Ooh, I see you eyein' me,
come and yell back now #
# This cool cat right here
got the thing to relax us #
# These niggas trying to claim me,
and it's not for taxes #
# Black, black, black magic #
# Give it to him,
become an addict #
# One dose,
a coma, tragic... #
(shrieks, laughs)
So fly.
Damn, I look good.
You see that shit, man?
That's a big fucking account
he just took from us.
Fuck this shit. I say we go ice
this motherfucker, right now.
- No, no, no.
- Why not?
He deserves better than that.
Fuck you talking about?
We're gonna do this right.
It's going to be loud
and messy.
Gonna make his ass a cautionary tale
for the rest of the fucking hood.
Hell yeah.
Don't pay to be
a nice guy, huh?
Hurry up!
This is my last day.
You can't do me like this.
What? You are still
on my clock. Got it?
It's going to take me three hours
to rub her down.
- I'm outta here.
- What?
Girl, you better get in there and rub
her down and leave her satisfied.
Now I want you to remember,
I kept your ass employed
through all your bullshit
with Rory,
when you would float your ass in here
and do nothing for an entire month.
I have no idea what kind of crazy
bullshit you're mixed up in,
but I don't like it.
The Emily I remember
always kept her word.
Oooh, that is the shit!
Doria needs some more
of that, honey.
I need more oil.
How much they put
in them small bottles?
- They don't come in beached-whale size.
- What?
I need some more oil.
Get that "Caribbean Coconut."
That shit is the bomb!
Hurry up!
Come start rubbing me
before I cool down.
(moaning louder)
Oooh, this is wonderful!
Work it, baby!
Ooh, work it!
You got magic
in those little hands!
Yeah, I've always had
a way with the ladies.
Where's me gold?!
(razor buzzing)
Oh, there you are.
Irish eyes will soon
be smiling again.
(both laughing)
Rory, we can't spend
any more money.
It's a leprechaun and he's after us.
He wants his gold back.
He's the one who killed that guy...
that guy at the party.
What are you talking about?
Are you smoking Jamie's stash?
Girl, you need to calm down,
acting all crazy,
talking about
leprechauns and shit.
What's up, dawg?
We have to get Lisa.
Come on, we have to go.
- What?
- Get in the car.
- I just got here!
- Head home and I'll call you.
This doesn't concern you, all right?
Here. Take this.
(creaking, faint thud)
(faint creak)
- (thud, glass clinking)
- (gasps) What?
(Leprechaun grunts,
Oh, come on, Em!
Come on!
Please! Come on!
Hello, love.
(doorknob rattling)
(pounding on door)
Ah, into the bath, my pretty.
I like my girls nice and clean.
- Fry, you little motherfucker!
- (screaming)
Come on.
Come on.
Oh my God. Please.
- Woman: 911. What's...
- (screams)
(Emily screams)
- (phone beeping)
- (screaming continues)
Oh my God.
I can't believe she's gone.
I'm sorry, Em.
I know how much she meant to you.
Did you?
- So what's next y'all?
- We return the gold.
No, hell no. There's gotta be
another way. Fuck that.
We return the gold and everything that's
left and maybe all this stuff will stop.
Everybody ante up.
- Hey, easy come, easy go.
- We're fucked!
You did it again.
How could you spend all of it?!
What's your prob...
What the fuck is wrong
with you, woman?
Oh shit.
Shit is heavy as hell.
Rory: lmpossible.
- (coins rattle)
- Holy shit.
What you waiting for?
Yo, while you're bullshitting,
I say we jump in
that motherfucking 6-4 outside
and haul ass
and don't stop till we get to Mexico.
You in, partner?
We're not spending any more gold.
We're giving it up.
That's a fucking shame!
- I can't believe you left this up.
- Emily: It was only four months ago.
It was a lifetime ago.
You're right, Em.
We need to give back that gold.
It's the only play.
You found it.
I knew you would.
- What is it?
- None of you are safe.
The accursed one will not stop
until he gets it back!
What are you talking about?
(motorcycle revving)
Where's Rory?
He said he had
to get something from his bike.
- Where's the gold?
- Huh?
Oh shit!
Come to bed, my sweet.
- I don't have your gold.
- Oh, I know that.
I'm not here for me gold.
I'll catch that thief soon enough.
What do you want?
An eye for an eye, me dear.
Come on, baby.
Come on.
Rory, where the hell
you run off to?
You better call me back!
I'm not playing with you.
Call me back!
- Fuck.
- (door opens)
Hello, dear.
Fuck you get in here,
you crazy-looking motherfucker?
That gold didn't even belong
to the one you stole it from.
Listen, don't hurt me.
I didn't have nothing to do with this.
Goddamn crackers.
Always breaking into niggas' houses.
You have such a nice smile.
Say "Ah."
- (cracks)
- (screams)
Pull over right now!
Rory, come on, pull over!
Emily, we don't have time
for this shit.
Why should I trust you?
Everybody was right about you.
You are no good.
You're right.
I ain't no good.
But I'm trying, Em.
I'm trying to do the right thing.
Hit it.
Take the alley and cut him off.
(siren blares)
- Where you going in such a hurry, boy?
- We're being followed.
- You shut your trap.
- What you got in that box?
- Nothing.
- It's my dirty laundry.
Just give us a ticket
and let us go.
Hey! Hey!
- Here.
- Let her go!
What the fuck are you?
- Little early for Halloween, ain't we?
- They have me gold.
Oh, it's your gold?
Of course, you're a leprechaun.
- So we'll just hand it over to you.
- I'd appreciate it.
Why don't you go home
to your momma?
What did you say
about me mother?
You want some more?
Come on!
Give... that... back!
(Leprechaun laughs)
- Shit!
- (Emily screams)
(shotgun blast)
Come on!
(engine starts)
Watch out, kiddies,
revenge will be mine tonight!
Oh, bloody hell.
- Emily: Jamie!
- (knocking on door)
- We don't want none!
- (knocking)
Man! Damn!
Hold on!
What's up, dawg?
Y'all want some smoke-smoke?
- We gotta get rid of this gold now.
- We have to go.
- Why?
- We're getting chased by a leprechaun.
You can't be smoking
your own shit.
That's the first thing
they teach you, ninja.
- Ninja?
- Don't ask. Come on, let's go.
Hey, big spender.
How's the business treating you?
Fuck you got here?
Holy shit!
You slick motherfucker.
No wonder you be acting
like a fucking pimp.
- We're cool, right? You got the gold.
- No, motherfucker, we ain't cool.
- (siren wailing)
- Yo, Watson, we're done.
The police, nigga.
- Damn!
- Ew, man, that's nasty!
- (laughs)
- Who the fuck is that?!
- Shoot that little freak for real.
- Shut the fuck up!
Hello, lads.
I think you got
something of mine.
What the fuck you want, you little
Lucky-Charm-looking motherfucker?
You have stolen
what's been stolen from me.
- (cell phone rings)
- Hold on. Hold on.
Hey, hey, baby.
How you doing?
No, I can't get
into that right now.
No, baby, I ain't with nobody.
I'm with you and only you, baby.
I know. Look, baby, I can't.
I got a problem.
A small motherfucking problem.
- Why don't you call a brother back?
- Okay. Well, I love you.
Me too, baby.
Me too.
You were saying,
little motherfucker?
You have stolen
what's been stolen from me.
Now be a good lad.
Give it back.
Oh, the gold is yours?
Of course...
a fucking leprechaun.
And you...
you want the gold back?
- Aye.
- Hold on, let me get that for you.
Oh shit!
Come on, motherfucker, get up!
Come on!
- You hit like a wee lass.
- Yeah?
- Okay, motherfucker.
- Come on.
"Wee lass"? We class, motherfucker.
We start this class, bitch.
Welcome to the hood, baby.
Come on, man, Watson!
Fuck that nigga up, man!
Hit him!
- Come on.
- Oh, getting tired, are we?
Damn, Watson!
Fuck, man!
What the...
- What's up, ninjas?
- What the fuck?!
Kill this motherfucker!
Rory, jump in!
- Let's get out of here.
- You said it.
- (screaming)
- Oh shit!
(cell phone ringing)
- Hello?
- Woman: Who the fuck are you?
- Where's Watson?
- Watson?
- Uh-huh.
- No, he's unavailable. Sorry.
You one of his boys...
better than one of those skanks.
- What you look like?
- What do I look like?
- Uh-huh.
- Well, I've got red hair...
...and a nice smile.
- That sounds good.
- I'm a pretty sharp dresser.
- Okay.
Do you work out?
You got a good body?
- I think I got a good body.
- Mmmm!
- How tall are you, sweet pea?
- How tall am I?
- About 3' 6".
- 3'6"?!
But I make up for it
in other areas...
if you know what I mean.
- (dial tone)
- Hello?
Why are we stopping?
Man, it's all done, man!
Ain't nothing we can do!
He's gonna fucking kill us all, man!
- Just like he tore apart Lisa.
- Just chill out, all right?
This is your fault, man!
I ain't keeping quiet no more.
You better
slow your fucking roll...
- Get out of my face, Rory!
- Get out your face?!
What you put your hands on me for?
You fucking crazy?!
Stop it!
You said weren't gonna hurt me!
You said you were my friend.
You supposed to look out for me!
It ain't my fault I'm scared.
Just don't hit me no more.
- He started this shit!
- You started it.
Both of you shut the fuck up!
That thing is gonna kill all of us
if we don't get our shit together.
The only way
we can survive this is together,
so stop acting like a bunch
of momma's boys!
My bad, man.
We cool?
Yeah, we cool, man.
So what are we supposed
to do now?
No more running.
So we just sit here
and wait for him to kill us?
We gotta kill him first.
Bullets don't do shit,
neither does getting
squashed by a two-ton car.
- How do we kill him?
- I don't know.
But I know
just the person to ask.
- We need to talk.
- What about my dead wife?
She'll still be dead tomorrow.
Come on, let's go.
- Get off me!
- Come on, man, let's go!
Did you heed my warning?
Of course not.
No one ever does
once they have the gold.
And now you have
his wrath upon you.
- How do we stop him?
- Why should I help you?
How about that?
These creatures,
the Leg're Ghaun,
they were guardians
from the Dark Ages.
They were protectors
of the king's fortune.
Born of earth magic,
they would retrieve the king's gold
and punish anyone who'd steal it.
But after the king died,
they were all whisked away
back into the earth.
Except for one.
He stayed in this mortal world
and became twisted and evil.
How do we kill
this little motherfucker?
This creature's only weaknesses
are two things:
His gold
and the four-leaf clover.
A four-leaf clover?
Where the hell
are we gonna get
a four-leaf clover in the hood?
Come on, man, this ain't not time
to be lighting up!
Told you. Clovers.
My ninja.
How do we use this
to kill the leprechaun?
- What about a crucifix?
- This creature predates Christianity.
What about garlic?
Will that work?
If he's hungry.
That's it.
A silver bullet!
Man, why you even buy a Glock?
Those bitches always jam.
Hollow tips.
What you doing?
Time to go fuck up
some little people.
Here you go.
Man, how the fuck you get a gun
and all I get is a goddamn bat?
What you want me to do,
hit a home run?
I just need you
to watch my back.
All we gotta do
is wait until the morning,
and the little fucker's toast.
- Morning?
- Yeah, sunlight and shit.
He's not a vampire,
dumb ass.
Look at you. Look who's the expert
on leprechauns now.
How you know sunlight
ain't gonna work? You don't know.
How come you think
you know everything...
Hold right here.
I'm gonna go check on Em, all right?
You better come back too!
Leave me in this motherfucker
by myself...
with a goddamn bat!
Good luck, my child.
I thought I had
problems before.
Em, I'm...
I was just, you know...
(loud crash)
Setting up a trap for me, boyo?
Fuck you, you little
mick motherfucker.
The damn clover.
Don't kill me.
Take the gold.
Take it all!
Just spare me life...
and I'll never
harm you again.
I swear.
You swear?
Say hello to St. Patrick's
for me, bitch!
(gun clicking)
It's jammed!
Stay away from my friends!
- You used me gold.
- That's right, bitch.
I bought me a new car,
I bought some ice.
I bought some new kicks
and an assload of bud too!
And I smoked that shit,
and it was good, you motherfucker!
I have no quarrel
with you, witch.
Well, that will
have to change.
Run, Emily. I have
an unwanted guest to deal with.
Leprechaun: You can't take me gold!
You can't take it!
It's mine!
I'll have it back!
- (yells)
- (screams)
(Leprechaun laughs)
You son of a bitch!
Sorry, that hurt
the old knee, did it?
I'll fuck you up!
This is what you want,
isn't it?
My babies.
Come and get 'em.
There will be no escaping
for you this time, darling.
You're going to hell with all the others
who stole from me.
Come on!
Come on, work, fucker, work!
Leprechaun: No!
I'll show you!
I like her.
We've had our fun.
Now give me what's mine,
and I might spare
your miserable life.
Why did you kill them?
For this?
You evil fuck!
Don't you presume to tell me
right from wrong.
You compromised all you believed in
once you got the gold,
just like all those
before you.
Your kind is weak,
and will always give in
to your selfish yearnings.
It brings out the worst
in us, doesn't it?
Do you really want
to die so badly?
You can't live forever.
Get back!
I'm melting!
Come on, Rory...
wake up.
Wake up.
Where is he?
He's dead.
It's all over.
How'd you get
the gun to work?
- The clovers.
- (thunderclap)
Nothing like a nice fire
to warm the soul.
Rory: Come on!
For 2,000 years,
you filthy mortals
have tried to steal my riches,
to satisfy your greedy urges.
And it always
ends the same...
with you begging
for your miserable lives.
- Rory!
- Fucking...!
Emily: I'm slipping!
Was it all worth it in the end?
One day,
your kind will learn
that the treasures
of the leprechaun...
(gun clicks)
All out of clovers, lad?
Oh, that's too bad.
(hip-hop music playing)
# You may not be
a superstar #
# With cash to buy
everything you want #
# If you could see
all the things that happened to me #
# You may not be
a superstar #
# But God the father
has a plan #
# If time lets you be
all the things that you want to be... #
Check out little ninja!
(instrumental music playing)