Letter of Introduction (1938) Movie Script

Well, here we are on Broadway folks
New Years Eve on Broadway
Everybody is happy.
Because I know the New Year has
better things in store for them.
Guaranteed to cure any headaches
no matter how much you deserve one.
Now, let's find out what Mr. and Mrs.
John Q. Public think about all this.
And you could see there is a lovely
little lady coming my way right now
And you'd wonder what she has to say
Come on, Miss, aw...
You know what they say,
this is New Year's Eve!
Do you need any help?
Hello, Mr. Burgin.
Hard going, isn't it?
Oh, crowds mean nothing to me
after a two week's engagement
in Macy's basement.
An actress of your ability
working in department stores
Well that's show business for you!
There's one thing: if I'm ever called
to play the part of a package wrapper,
I'll be superbe!
Burnhouse couldn't do it better.
What you need is a couple of rooms
somewhere and a husband to look after you.
I might considered Charlie McCarthy.
Well, you wouldn't if you really knew him
You know, I been thinking lately
that Charlie and I would separate.
You and Charlie?
I know, but people just aren't interested
in ventriloquists and their dummies.
Hey, you are in a bad way.
Come on. Snap out of it.
It's a New Year.
And it's going to be a good one!
Good for both of us.
I know.
Hope so.
What's that?
Edgar, look.
Look where they're stopping.
Is it ours?
I don't know. It might be.
Edgar, it is!
It's our house.
Charlie! Charlie's up there.
And my letter!
You need to wait a minute.
Hey you! Come back here.
Edgar! Edgar!
My letter of introduction
It's in my room in the top bureau drawer!
- All right...
Come on. Get back here.
Please officer, I don't think he heard!
[indistinct yelling]
[indistinct yelling]
Charlie. Come on,
we got to get out of here.
What's that? I thought the landlady gave
us until Monday to give up the rent?
Achoo! What's she trying to do?
Smoke us out of here?
No, the building is on fire.
Wow! Let's get out of here.
Did the Juggling Jacobeses
get out all right?
Yeah -- uh, Hey!
I'll Juggling Jacobes you,
if you don't get back there!
Alright, alright.
Take it easy.
Alright, come on folks.
Move back.
Move back!
I don't like a guy like that.
You ask him a simple question, and he...
Hey, I know you.
Oh, that makes me happy.
No, honestly, I do.
You live right up there in
the third floor upfront.
I live across the street. Do you see
the people up there in the window?
My house is burning, and he doesn't even...
Edgar, did you get my letter?
What letter?
She wrote you to tell you
the house was on fire!
Hey, Kay don't go in there!
Stop! Come on that'll
finish the both of you!
Kay, where are you?
Come back here.
Kay, where you're going?
Are you nuts? This place is on fire!
Come on back here!
Of all the stupid dames!
Of all the Dumb Dora's
risking out lives to--
Who ask you to follow me?
That stops me.
Maybe that thing is locked.
Well, if you stop shouting for a
minute, I might be able to open it.
Come on, come on. Would you please get what
you're after, and let's get out of here.
Here it is. Thank heavens!
- That must be a very important document.
- It is.
Don't be afraid.
Come on, let's go this way.
Don't worry.
We'll be out of here in a jiffy.
Let me help you.
Ah, that's got it!
Whoa woo!
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
I'm alright.
How are we going to get down?
Let's go this way. Come on.
Can you jump?
Oh yes, I think so.
There you are. You all right?
Yes, thanks.
I'd have been down there
dead if it weren't for you.
You've saved my life.
Oh, well, now you're not going to try
and make a hero of me, are you?
Hello there.
Barry, come on , let's go.
The house is on fire.
That is where I lived.
So, you've told me.
Oh, lady.
You haven't heard anything yet.
You know I have a
confession to make to you.
I've been sitting in that window for
months, looking right in your life.
Oh, a Peeping Tom!
Yeah, isn't it awful?
I- I could tell when you were high
and I could also tell when you were blue.
And many's the time you
made my mouth water when
you were poaching eggs
over that electric iron!
Whew! Let's go!
-Go on, get back!
-He can't push me!
I can't, eh? Well, get back!
- I guess you can.
My name's McCarthy, I--
I don't care what your name is.
Get back!
I got it, or rather he did.
Thank goodness, you're safe.
Would we be able to go in there?
No one can go in there.
The place is a wreck.
Gee, that's kinda tough.
Burnt out on New Year's Eve.
Burnt out or thrown out...
What's the difference?
Well, uh...
What are you fellas going to do?
Oh, we'll curl up with
a nice book somewhere.
Say, I've got an idea.
Why don't you come up to my place?
We're having a little party.
I think I can grow to care for you!
Three flights to heaven.
Hope you don't mind.
You're lucky to have stairs.
We're fresh out.
Looks like just another
fire trap if you ask me.
I didn't ask you.
My mansion in the hills!
There's Barry, now!
The fire is out.
Ladies and gentlemen,
I brought you back a couple of refugees.
Ms. Kay Martin.
Mr. Edgar Bergen.
Meet the Bushelites of Broadway!
May I take your coat?
Who are the Bushelites?
Alas, they're artists who hide their lights
under bushels! [Hence 'bushel-lights']
The place certainly looks lived in.
Quiet. All right.
Did you see the Juggling Jacobeses?
Did they get out alright?
I hope so! I didn't see them.
My name is Honey, honey.
Hope you didn't lose anything.
I don't think so.
We'll know in the morning.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Na-ah-ah, Bergen!
- Quiet,
can't you see I'm trying to drink?
Yes, but, uh, Honey honey didn't
get Charlie Charlie any beer.
I beg your pardon.
I'll get you some.
Whew, right, right right...
Honey, my partner
she's a swell kid! You'll like her.
What you do?
We dance.
Just at the moment, according to our agents
we're resting after a
long and arduous tour!
And, uh... what do you do?
Well, I'm a Bushelite, too.
I'm resting after a long run
in Shuberts' outer office.
Oh ho, congratulations!
Here you are, Charlie dear.
Oh! Last but not least, I thank you.
I, uh. I- I- I...
Too much beer isn't good for little boys.
Too much beer, no.
Uh, huh. Well,
you certainly took care of that!
Ah, it's fine.
- Yes.
Oh, I w...
It's good.
- Well, I wouldn't know about that.
- No.
A ventriloquist!
Can you beat that?
I didn't think they existed anymore.
When a house burns,
you never know what's coming out.
I don't think I'm gonna like her.
Oh, bearing gifts!
What? No caviar?
No, dear. Woolworth's isn't
carrying it this year.
Oh, well, Cora, This is Miss Kay Martin.
How do you do?
- How are you?
And that's Edgar Bergen.
How you do?
How you do? How do you do?
This is Cora Phelps. She's working.
Dooo tell!
Well, you didn't look jealous.
It's only a walk-on.
I appear in the 3rd act and say,
"I'm Jeffery's wife."
"He's killed himself."
Can you blame him?
Aren't you ashamed?
A great big dummy like you
making fun of my acting.
Is-is my face red?
I didn't know you were acting!
Oh, isn't he wonderful!
I really ought to be
thinking of a place to sleep.
Oh, leave that to Honey.
She'll figure it out.
She and the landlady are just like that.
She is nice.
Ladies and gentlemen...
"We speak to you from the Rainbow
Room at Rockefeller Center.
It is now 15 seconds before midnight.
Happy New Year, Kay!
The same to you, Edgar, and many of them.
Me too?
Yes, Charlie.
You too.
That nasty old year is gone, darling.
I hope the new one's much more fun.
I hope so.
Happy New Year.
Happy New Year.
Well, excuse me.
Barry, Happy New year.
Looks like a good game.
We ought to get in it, Bergen!
Happy New Year, Barry.
Happy New Year to you, Kay.
Shall we dance?
What is this?
I wouldn't know what to call
that, would you?
Uh, "Love la Barry".
Good night!
Good night, Jimmy!
Oh, hey! Cut it out. What's the idea?
What's all the noise around here?
Oh, look at Ray! Look at Ray in the Top!
The uniform got her again!
It's cold!
Well, good night, kid-sies.
I'll be seeing you in bed.
Good night, Cora.
Good night.
It's beginning to snow.
You better get inside where
it's warm and close the window.
Oh, wait a minute.
A little fresh air is good for you.
Not me.
Good night, dear.
I'll lay a nightgown out
on the couch for you.
Thanks. I'll be right down.
- Good night, Barry.
- Good night, Honey.
Good night.
I feel terribly guilty,
letting Honey do all this for me.
Oh, don't worry about her. She likes it.
Honey's got the biggest heart in the world.
That must be the dawn!
See, where it's getting light over
there in the top of that building?
Dawn of the new year.
Does it mean that much to you?
You said you were going to tell
me what was in that letter.
Did I?
Sure, don't you remember?
You said it was a path toward the
fame, fortune, and happiness.
It might easily be.
Are you thinking of getting married?
No, nothing like that.
Well, I can't imagine what it could be.
Letter of introduction for John Mallory.
John Mallory?
The Great Lover!
- Is he?
So they say.
On the screen and in private life, too.
He's also a very great actor.
Oh! He's a great actor, alright.
All the Mallory's are good actors.
Well, I hope it brings you good luck.
Getting cold.
I think I better go.
I guess that ought to be comfortable.
Have you and Barry been together long?
Five years.
For five long, hard years.
But I don't regret a day of it.
Barry's been swell.
He's taught me and I've helped him.
And all we need is a place to
to get right up on top
with Rogers and Estair.
I will get there.
Nothing could stop us.
If Cora snores, throw a slipper at her.
I'll be alright.
Good night.
Good night.
John Mannering,
celebrated stage and screen star,
and Lydia Hoyt, his pretty
twenty two years old bribe-to-be,
were greeted by a throng
of well-wishing fans.
As they stepped off the
gangplank yesterday afternoon.
Ms. Hoyt will be the forth Mrs. Mannering.
Forth Mrs. Mannering.
They love him, but divorce him.
I ought to be like that.
How about it, Bergen?
Couldn't we afford a wife or two?
Listen to the young turkey!
What time is it, Barry?
Two o'clock.
Ooo, I'd better hurry.
Here you go.
You're gonna wear that hat?
I guess I'll have to.
My only nice one was soaked in the fire.
Don't you think you'd better phone
Mallory first and ask for an appointment?
Mhmm, I've been carrying this
letter around for months.
I'm not gonna give him
a chance to put me off.
Aren't you putting too
much faith in that letter?
Well, if he doesn't do anything for you,
I hope you won't be too disappointed.
But he will, Barry.
This is the beginning of everything for me.
A man like Mallory can do a lot for
you on Broadway. Here, try this one.
Oh, Honey.
Oh, you're an angel!
Hey! Bring out the sables.
I wouldn't dare.
Oh, they came out of a
hock shop on 6th avenue.
Sables, get that. haha
What won't they call rabbits next?
You can have a 3rd interest for 4$.
Oh, they're lovely.
How I look?
You look swell.
Oh, I don't know how
I'm going to thank you.
Have you got your letter?
I'll come back as soon as I see him.
If it's good news, the party's on me.
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye. Good luck.
I wonder if she'll see him.
I wonder if he'll see her.
I wonder what'll happen
if they see each other?
Might be better if they
didn't see each other!
Might be better if you shut up.
Well, that's another way
of looking at it. Yeah.
I'll like to see Mr. Mannering, please.
Mr. Mannering is occupied.
He sees no one.
Well, I'm sure he'll see me.
I have a letter of introduction.
From whom?
Well, if you let me come
inside, I'll tell you.
You were saying you have a letter.
You give it to me. I'll see that it
reaches Mr. Mallory in due course.
Perhaps an appointment can be arranged.
Well, I couldn't do that.
I have to see him in person.
Utterally out of the question!
This gentleman here has been
waiting since half after one.
You see how it is.
I have a great deal of patience.
Very well, I'm sure I've
done my duty in warning you.
This happens to be a superbe
example of a Bathava prayer rug.
It is not intended to
be used as an ashtray!
June. It was a cloudy day...
The cemetery of Pere La Chaise
was the slate grey of a
Joseph Pernell Skyscaper.
I walked down the path past
the tombs of Eloise and Abelard
and I stopped in reverence before it.
Before the memory of their love
that no man could put asunder.
I beg your pardon, sir.
No man could put asunder!
I went on in the mist.
Until I came to where your
sainted grandmother lived.
And there,
One by one,
as you directed,
I let drop the springs of heliotrope.
It was kind of you to remember, Monsieur.
For a friend it was nothing.
You stupid fool!
You imbecile!
I told you not to darken it too much.
I wanted a bit of rake up over the temple
and you make it look like a toupee!
On the contrary, sir. A touch of gray
would look infinitely more studied.
Stop lying!
Tell me what you want.
There are a number of
important matters, sir.
That'll be all.
This letter from Lou Woodstone...
Well, what does he say?
You old horse thief!
That's the salutation of the letter, sir.
I see.
You old horse thief,
I sent you a play three months ago
You needn't read it. Just say you'll do it
and get back in the
theater where you belong.
Affectionately, Lou.
Uh... take a letter, Andrews.
My dear old friend,
Nothing on Earth could ever induce
me to return to the theater,
you rat.
Is this it?
Yes, sir.
I shall keep the manuscript as a souvenir.
Affectionately, John.
Anything else?
Yes, sir. There's a lady with
a letter of introduction, sir.
Well, tell her to leave it.
I'm much too busy.
With pleasure, sir.
And a newspaper reporter.
A journalist?
Well, now. We mustn't be
ungracious to the press.
Has he a photographer with him?
No, sir, but he may have a candid camera.
They hide them in the most
extraordinary places, sir.
I'll give him five minutes. No more.
Very good, sir.
- Uh, my coat, Andrews.
- Yes, sir.
I do miss old Rover.
What's this one's name?
Blitzen, sir. He's German.
Blitzen. Does he bite?
Oh, no, sir. He's very tame.
I'm sure he won't bite, sir.
Well, I'm not.
'Sitzen' Blitzen. 'Sitzen'!
Why do you talk to him
in a foreign language?
He doesn't understand English, sir.
But he's beautifully mannered.
'Sitzen'. 'Sitzen'!
Lie down, Blitzen.
Lie down.
A very lovely picture, sir.
You may come in, now.
Not you. Him.
Good afternoon, my friend.
I'm afraid that I can
make no statement on my
forthcoming plans until
after the wedding.
Well, that's too bad, but...
You are John Mallory, aren't you?
What's this?
Just a summons, Mr. Mallory,
for non-payment of alimony!
Sorry, to trouble you!
Blitzen. Nice Blitzen!
That's a Blitzen!
Hold on!
Please, Blitzen!
ANDREWS! Blitzen.
[German command]
How do you do?
Mr. Mallory?
I have a letter of introduction.
Ah, yes. A letter of introduction!
I hope I didn't frighten you.
Oh that's quite all right.
It's safe to come in now.
Won't you come inside?
Thank you.
Won't you sit down?
Thank you.
That writing is familiar.
Le Comte Valery?
I don't believe you can guess.
I think you'll have to read it.
Please, say something.
Where have you been, my dear?
Why haven't I known?
I didn't know myself until recently.
Take off your hat.
No don't touch it.
Let me see you just as you are.
Yes, I see it now.
Same forehead.
Same lovely hair.
Only your mother's,
I imagine, is turning grey.
It turned very fast toward the end.
She's dead?
A few months ago.
I was in New York, trying to get a job.
Someone wired me.
When I go there, she
she gave me the letter.
It was the first time I knew.
She felt she owed it to
me and perhaps to you.
Perhaps to you.
And made me promise that
...forgive me...
Forgive you?
No, my dear.
I don't want to be any bother.
My little girl!
Let me look at you again.
That takes me back.
There were tears in her eyes,
too the last time I saw her.
After all these years...
to think that I found you!
The first thing I remember is
mother cutting out your clippings
and pasting them in a big yellow scrapbook.
Later I used to read the notices
and pretend they were mine.
Let's see, I
I played Ophelia with you
and Rosalind
Oh, I was wonderful in that!
Of course, we went to all your pictures.
I don't think Mother ever missed any.
Sometimes halfway through the
story I'd see tears in her eyes.
If I asked her why,
she'd say the scene was sad.
Once, I teased her about it.
I said she was too old to
have a crush on a movie star.
She didn't answer,
but I saw it hurt her. So,
I never mentioned it again.
How little one really knows!
Why do you say that?
If I had only realized. But how could I?
I was so young at the time, excitable.
Without experience and a
famous name to live up to
when she refused to leave Nashville
and take to the road with me, I
I thought she didn't care.
We quarreled.
I meant to go back,
but somehow the time never came.
It was always a new season, a new play...
Oh! I'm so sorry.
I had no idea.
Please don't let me disturb you.
Lydia, darling!
What a surprise!
Is that new?
- Yes.
Uh, come, dear, I want you to meet
my, uh.. My protege. Miss, uh
Kay Martin.
- Miss Martin.
How do you do Miss Martin?
How do you do?
I'm afraid I've stayed too long.
Will you excuse me?
Thank you for being so kind, and
I won't bother you again
until I hear from you.
Will you excuse me.
I'll uh...
I'll see you to the elevator.
Good bye.
Good bye.
I haven't even your address.
Oh, how stupid of me.
I'll write it down.
I feel the worst kind of blackguard.
I started to tell her.
I had every intention of telling her...
but, the word,
'daughter' seemed to stick in my throat.
I guess being a father so suddenly...
upset me.
I understand.
You can't suddenly spring a
daughter on an unsuspecting world.
No, I guess I'm just a
vain and pompous idiot.
No, you're not.
You're famous.
You've a reputation.
And, please believe me.
I don't want to complicate your life.
If anything,
I'd like to add a little happiness to it.
I'd like to feel that you can count on me.
for anything.
As a father should.
First time in my life, I
I can't find words.
Let's not bother about telling it now.
It's been our secret for so long.
Let's keep it that way.
Will you kiss me?
I'm proud of you!
Good bye.
And I'll call you soon.
Good bye.
Bother? Protege?
Why do you lie to me?
Do you think I'm a stupid little fool?
Now, calm yourself Lydia.
I didn't lie to you. - You did!
I didn't!
You said she was a bother.
But she was a bother-- I
mean, there was a bother!
And now, she's a protege whose
name you couldn't even remember!
Lies! Lies! Lies!
Darling, she came to me with
a letter of introduction
from a very dear friend.
- Oh!
Well, all right.
If you don't believe me, here it is!
No. No!
I'm not going to show it to you.
This is no way to begin a marriage.
You ought to know.
You've had enough experience.
"Distrust heals not reproof"!
If you quote anything I'll scream!
Scream. Go ahead. It's good for you.
I warn you, John.
I'm not going to be longsuffering,
like some of your other wives.
The first time I catch
you doublecrossing me,
I'll walk out on you so fast--
Lydia, my adored one!
How can you be so unfair to yourself?
Don't you be unfair. That's all I ask.
So lovely.
So charming.
Well, I would no more...
Go on! I can feel the cameras grinding!
What you feel is the beat of my heart.
Pounding for the love of you!
I must be out of my mind
to think of marrying you.
Just plain mad.
Let me toot some more.
If you'd put those steps
end to end you'd be
halfway to Benton
Harbor, Michigan by now.
Say, when do we eat? I'm starved.
I wonder where she could be?
It's after 6 o'clock.
I don't know, but I wish she'd hurry.
I'm dying to find out what happened.
What makes you think you're gonna?
Shut up, Charlie.
Now, wait a minute, now.
Now, let's reconstruct this scene
from a scientific point of view.
Attractive girl goes to
great lover's apartment.
...to ask a favor, see...
Now, let me see...
If I was a great lover and a
girl came to my apartment...
Oh, boy! There's your answer.
Barry, where're you going?
He's really got it bad.
Oh, Barry! I'm so happy I'm going to burst.
What kept you so late?
Oh, he was wonderful!
Oh, if I could only tell you.
Tell me what?
He's the kindest, sweetest,
dearest man I've ever known!
No wonder all the women
are crazy about him!
Yeah, that's just what I was afraid of.
Oh, but he's thrilling! If you
could just see him or hear him talk.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
You haven't forgotten me, have you, pal?
Barry. Remember Barry Page?
The fella that's crazy about you?
Oh, Barry, I love you!
I love you! I love you!
Oh, I love everybody.
Just a second, are you by any change
making love to me and thinking about him?
Oh, don't be ridiculous!
That guy must be a wizard.
He is.
Well, the dinner's on me!
Any luck?
- How'd it go?
Did you get in?
Honestly, I don't know where to begin.
He's wonderful. I can tell you that much.
Did he show you his etchings?
Oh, people are all wrong to
talk about him the way they do!
He's a darling!
He wouldn't harm a flea.
Well, it's nice to know he
draws the line somewhere!
Oh, Charlie, keep quiet.
Tell me, Kay.
What's he going to do for you? Anything?
Well, we didn't have time to talk about it.
But I'm sure he will!
You didn't have time?
You've been gone four hours!
Well, I was late in getting there.
Then I had
to wait to see him
and then we had tea--
Look, I'm famished.
Let's hear the rest about it at dinner.
All right. Where should we go?
Charlie go, too?
- Of course!
If you take that dummy,
you'll upset the whole restaurant again.
And no hiding me under a shawl.
Either I go as an American citizen
or I stay at home in a trunk!
I don't blame you, Charlie.
Come in.
Telephone, Miss Martin.
For me? Who is it?
He says it's John Mallory.
But I have my doubts.
Excuse me, please.
He hasn't lost much time, has he?
She must have made a hit.
Oh, of course I'll come.
Where and when?
Park Plaza.
Meet you there at 8.
Look your prettiest.
I'll be there at 8.
Good bye.
He wants me to have dinner with him.
Do you mind?
Me? Mind? No certainly not, go right ahead.
Oh, don't be that way.
Well, how would you expect me to be?
Happy, because you've broken a date
with me to go out with another guy?
Especially after you've
been with him all afternoon.
It isn't like that.
Oh, if you only knew.
Oh, please be sensible.
Mallory isn't 'another guy', as you put it.
He's a man who's going
to be married in a week.
He's in love with Lydia Hoyt.
She has a headache and
he's free for this evening.
There won't be another
chance and he's kind
enough to give this evening
to me and my worries.
It means a great deal to me, Barry.
You know that.
Doesn't that make any sense at all to you?
Well, sure it makes sense.
I haven't got a come-back.
I can't find a floor in
your argument anywhere.
It's logical. It's convincing.
It's reasonable.
And it's sound.
But just the same and nevertheless,
I'm sore as a poisoned pup.
That's masculine logic for you.
Well, logic or no logic,
if that guy makes a pass at you---
Good evening, Mr. Mallory.
Good evening, Madame. Your table is ready.
Thank you.
Service pour deux.
May I suggest the pompano sir.
Strait from Palm Beach
by plane this morning.
I'm going to leave it to you entirely,
But remember,
this is a very special occasion.
Thank you, sir.
[giving instruction in French]
What are you smiling at?
Not at anything.
Just about everything.
Let me be perfectly frank.
I'm not altogether
sorry that Lydia had a
headache this evening.
What would Lydia do to
you if she heard that?
Well, I shudder to think.
But don't misunderstand me.
I don't!
It's just that it's so nice to have
this evening alone with you, Kay.
It's John Manly and Lydia!
What's Lydia wearing?
That isn't Lydia.
Stop squinting and eat your dinner.
tell me all about yourself.
Where you live... how you live...
who your friends are...
how broke you are...
I'm not broke. The money's holding out
carefully budgeted.
The only trouble is
the money and the budget
don't seem to come out together
at the end of the month.
No Manly ever made a
budget and lived up to it.
You won't have to worry
about that anymore, my dear.
You'll sprain your neck
if you're not careful.
I don't care. I think it's terrible.
Three weeks until the wedding
and he's out with another girl.
You wouldn't be calling Lydia would you?
Don't be absurd.
The nearest telephone is right out there.
Darling, this is Maude.
Maude, dear!
Maude Rawly
Oh, hello.
Oh, aren't you well?
John and I are both worn out.
We've been going so hard.
I'll be glad when the wedding's over.
Oh, then everything is all right.
Oh! I'm so relieved.
When I saw John come in with someone else
and someone so attractive, my dear
I got positively jittery.
Why, where are you calling from?
The Park Plaza. But I did want to
call up and find out if
everything was all right.
Of course, John was a sensation
when he walked in, as usual--
Yes, Miss?
I'm going out.
Yes, Miss.
We've been very lucky.
We've skipped all the bad parts.
You've never had to lecture
me because I flunked algebra.
You've never had to decide about schools
and report cards and taffeta party dresses.
Whether I should bob my hair.
Was he, Katherine?
He was the butcher's son.
Oh ho, most undurable.
I haven't seen him since I was thirteen.
And there hasn't been anyone since?
Oh, one or two...
One or two?
Well, one.
One at a time is enough.
I thought it that way with my wives.
You're very frank about it.
Well, I never take my wives too personally.
I don't allow myself to become too deeply
entrenched, because I hate to suffer.
You see, I know so well in advance
that the time is coming when
they can't stand it any longer.
They'll have to divorce me.
It's self protection.
Didn't it ever strike
you to be so nice and
faithful that they won't
want to divorce you?
I always think I am.
Then something happens.
But for Lydia, it's going to be different.
Good evening, Madame.
Good evening.
Is Madame looking for someone?
Why, yes, I--
Nevermind. I found him.
Shall we dance?
I'd love to.
will you excuse me a moment, my dear?
I fear that I'm in a slight predicament.
Why, of course.
Lydia, now wait a minute!
Let go of that door!
Not until you promise to listen to me!
- I've listened to you for the last time.
You're not going to make a fool out of me!
Lydia, this isn't like you!
You're being foolish.
I told you this afternoon I
wouldn't tolerate your two-timing.
Now let go of the door!
You're making a scene.
- Let go of that door or I'll scream.
Mr. Mallory,
Can I have your autograph?
- Why, certainly.
Oh, don't bother me!
Oh, please make up your mind!
It's one side or the other!
I've got to get out!
Lydia!! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
Get me a cab quick!
Well, what are you staring at?
I apologized didn't I?
Follow that cab, Mick!
I'd better not wait any longer.
Something must've happened.
Very good, Madame.
Oh, but I was with Mr. Manion.
Oh, The Maitre D''hotel is
gone for the night, Madame.
I am only a waiter.
I couldn't take the responsibility.
For chicken?
Poulet Tetrazini Garnes Aux Cloches
is not exactly chicken, Madame.
Could I use your phone?
Why, certainly, Madame.
This way, please.
Thank you.
Why, that's where the lift comes in.
Oh, all right. All right.
So, I forgot the lift.
What's the matter with you tonight?
Well, it's 11 o'clock.
Generally gets to be around this time.
We finally get a chance for a job--
--But it was only a chance.
Let's drop the whole
thing for tonight, huh?
You know she ought to be home by now.
Well, that's it, huh?
Still worried about Kay
and the Big Bad Wolf?
You act as though she were
made of whipped cream.
Believe it or not, the city's a lot
kinder to little girls from the country
than it used to be.
Especially, if they've got
letters to the right people.
Oh, it's easy enough for
you to talk like that.
You've been around.
But Kay is different.
So, was I once.
I had hay in my hair, too.
But it shook out fast after
two seasons at McCoys.
And no casualties either.
So, stop being a Rover boy.
I guess I do sound like that.
But every time I think of her having dinner
with that guy I could kick the ceiling off.
So, that's the way it is, huh?
I guess I'm silly, but...
I've never been in love before.
I don't know whether I like it or not.
Who is it?
Mr. Page, you're wanted on the phone.
It's Kay.
Mr. Mallory was called away
suddenly and I'm stuck with a check.
21 dollars.
What did you have?
Platinum pheasant stuffed with pearls?
Oh, Barry, please be serious.
Do you think you could raise it?
Yes, I guess so.
I, um, may have to touch the landlady.
What do I tell her?
All right, honey. You sit tight.
I'll be right over.
Oh, Mrs. Megs?
Yes, Mr. Page.
Can you let me have 20 dollars?
I cannot, Mr. Page.
Well, it's for Kay.
She's been in an accident.
I'm very sorry, Mr. Page.
I trust it won't be fatal.
What's the matter, Barry?
Kay's in a jam. She needs 20 bucks.
Is she in jail?
No, in the Park Plaza.
She's stuck with a check.
I thought she went out with
Mallory, the great picture star.
She did. How much money do you girls got?
Well, for all the nerve!
See what Bergen's got.
It won't be money.
I can tell you that much.
Open up the penny bank.
Show White's in trouble again.
Good evening, Miss Martin.
Well, fancy meeting you here.
Did you get it?
Oh, yes. I finally got it. I had to
take up a collection to do it, though.
Won't you join me in a cup of tea?
I understand
it's only 10 dollars
a pot at this place.
Oh, Barry. Please get me out.
I've been sitting her for hours.
Yes, sir. Right away sir.
Five, ten, fifteen..
twenty-one. There you are.
I deeply regret this inconvenience, sir.
Of course, Miss Martin will never dine
here again. You know that, don't you?
Never, sir?
I was in hopes...
Never under any circumstances. Come, dear.
Oh, it was a nightmare sitting there.
Well, uh, what do you suppose
happened to his royal nebs?
I'd rather not talk about it, Barry.
Thanks, Barry.
It was sweet of you to rescue me.
I'll pay you back in the morning.
And where will you get
the money in the morning?
Oh, I have a little in the bank.
So, the lady has money in the bank.
The lady has money in the bank!
What did he say?
He said the lady has money in the bank.
Well, you have money in the bank.
Shall we dance?
Barry. What will people say?
Are there any other people
in the world besides us?
Just a minute,
I have some unfinished business.
Say, what's the big idea?
Gee, there's a cop! Come on!
Get back here, you.
Come on, in here.
Is he after us?
The cop.
Oh, he wasn't coming.
Well, then, why?
I thought you liked to run!
Oh, you idiot.
Oh, Kay, darling.
I love you.
We don't need any money.
We don't fame. We don't need anything
except the world for our shooting gallery.
Will you marry me?
If you really want me to.
We may not be able to eat a 20$
chicken dinner at the Plaza.
But a hot dog in Central
Park is a lot more fun.
Come on and talk to me, Charlie.
I can't sleep.
I never sleep.
I can't even close my eyes.
I know.
I haven't been able to work that out, yet.
There's a lot you haven't
been able to work out, yet.
Such as, for instance.
Kay and Barry.
She's in love with him, Charlie
Why, tonight when she
couldn't pay her check
he was the one she thought of.
Well, it could've been you if
you weren't so tongue tied.
Oh, I know.
I could never think of the right word.
I could. You should let me tell her.
Oh, I am sick and tired of you
saying everything I want to.
What's that?
Where's number 217?
Over there.
See what I told you...
No, no...
Go ahead.
[Bergen throws a deep voice to the horse.]
My, my...
Who said that?
[Horse voice]
Uh-uh. Be careful.
Smart fellow, huh?
Are you making noises at me, by any chance?
[Horse voice]
Yeah, what are you going to do about it?
Egads! a talking horse!
You're making too much noise down there.
You're waking up the whole neighborhood.
Will you keep quiet!
Yeah, would you get along, Mister?
Oh, ho! A ventriloquist!
I think you're fine.
I'm looking for Miss Kay Martin.
Kay Martin?
I believe she lives in this house.
Wait a minute. I'll be right down.
Yeah, we'll be right down.
Uh, don't look now, Bergen,
but I think I picked up a splinter.
Wonder what he wants?
Ha ha, well, well...
Ah, he's wonderful!
This is a strange time to be making a call.
But I'm not making a call.
I wouldn't come at this
hour if wasn't important.
You better wait until later.
No, I want to see her now.
Well, alright.
If you come up to my room,
I'll see if I can get Miss Martin for you.
What a funny little fellow.
You're quite amusing young
man, you know that?
Shall I take a poke at him?
Certainly not. The gentleman
is paying you a compliment.
Tell me.
How does it work??
Well, he doesn't. I do it all.
That's why neither of us work.
What's he laughing at?
How did you get so cocked?
I beg your pardon.
That's no way to talk to a stranger.
Oh, well let me put it another way.
If it isn't too embarrassing a question,
where, pray, did you get the snoot full?
Cute little fellow, eh?
If he said 'cute' I'll mow 'em down!
Easy, Charlie.
- I'll clip him, so help me!
Who do you suppose that is?
Sounds like Bergen.
I hope it's not the termites
nibbling at Charlie.
For the love of Pete,
what's all the racket?
What's going on here?
Oh, this gentleman wants to see Kay.
Gentleman? Where's any gentleman?
Allow me to introduce myself, ladies.
My name is Mallory.
John Mallory.
It's him, all right, and is he boiled!
Sorry, if I've disturbed you ladies.
It's Edgar. John Mallory is
downstairs and he wants to see you.
Wait a minute.
What did you say?
John Mallory's downstairs.
He wants to see you.
John Mallory. Are you sure?
Are you sure?
Oh, Mr. Mallory, I haven't my album,
but would you autograph my wall?
Oh, Katherine, dear, I...
may I use your room for a moment?
Well, there he is. You know
Katherine, this is a great talent.
I thought that I'd seen
everything in my life
and this is too extraordinary.
- Mr. Mallory!
May I speak to you alone?
Would you excuse us, please.
I owe you an apology.
You're disappointed in me, aren't you?
I don't know what to think.
Would you like a cup of coffee?
- No, no. I'll be all right.
I shouldn't have come here
like this tonight, but..
I wanted to explain.
Lydia saw us.
At the Plaza.
We had a scene.
It's all over, Katherine.
Because of me?
And you didn't tell her even then.
I couldn't.
But why?
She wouldn't let me.
She wouldn't even listen to me.
Now that it's over
I don't care.
Well, some day you're
going to hate me for this.
You'll wish I'd never come.
Don't say that.
Well, that's a sign of prosperity:
more handkerchiefs than mirror space.
Come in.
Good morning, ladies.
Hiya, Barry!
We can have that booking in Pitsburg.
Oh, swell!
Is Kay here?
No, she isn't.
I'll say she isn't.
Where is she?
She had to go out.
I'll say she had to go out.
Out? Out where?
I don't know. She didn't tell me.
Say, what's going on here?
Oh, don't mind us old boy.
We didn't get much sleep last night.
The traffic was terrific.
Come on, come on, Cora.
What's on your mind?
My mind? No such thing, old boy.
No such thing!
What's she talking about?
Mallory dropped in to see Kay.
At 4 am, Mr. Crow-fly
He was a little tight.
Probably just wanted to apologize to
Kay for leaving her at the Park Plaza.
At least, that's what we think.
Of course we couldn't hear much
after they closed the door.
Kay took him home.
Oh, she did!
It was the only thing she could do, Barry.
Oh, my, my, my..
So, this is the way the
idle rich live, huh?
You see, Bergen.
If you were only a dramatic actor
we could have all this junk--
---I mean,
Oh, Charlie.
I worked very hard for all this.
Oh, come, come. All you do is mug a
little and have a popular leading lady.
Andrews, some more coffee,
please for Mr. Bergen and Mr. McCarthy.
Yes, yes. Just put a hit on the saucer.
Putting on a little weight,
aren't you, Andrews?
Yeah, oh! Well, excuse me...
That's quite all right, old fellow.
I do it myself, sometimes.
No sense of humor at all. Ha ha
You know, Bergen, it's an outrage
that the public doesn't know Charlie.
He ought to be working constantly.
That's what I say.
We haven't worked for months.
But, I'm afraid ventriloquism
is a thing of the past.
Well, I don't b--
Get Mr. Cummings at the
Landstra on the telephone.
Very good, sir.
Eh, Make it snappy, Andrews. Will you?
What are you going to do?
I'm going to try to get
Charlie the chance he deserves.
Oh, that would be wonderful.
Did-did you hear that Bergen?
Now, I don't want
you to try to horn in on this
thing, either.
Mr. Cummings, please.
Mr Cummings.
Andrews, let me talk to him, please.
Hello, Tony
This is John Mallory talking.
Hey, Tony, uh... What is our next gamble?
Sunday week?
Oh, well that's splendid.
I've got a specialty act
that I want you to put in.
The name is Edgar Bergen
and Charlie McCarthy.
That's all I'm going to tell you.
I'll let them talk for themselves.
When can you see them?
Well, uh
How long will you be there?
All right. I'll send them over.
Thanks very much, Tony. Good bye.
Right away?
No, there's no hurry.
Oh, that's what you think. Mr. Mallory.
I can't begin to express-
--Well, I mean, after
all, you're a stranger---
Eh, I mean-- Well, I hope that--
Why don't you let Charlie say it?
Yeah, what he's trying to say is, "Thanks".
And they call me a dummy.
I wonder if I could have some
paper to wrap Charlie in?
Andrews, some paper, please.
What's the idea of wrapping me up?
What's- are you ashamed of me?
Can't go out in broad
daylight in a full-dress suit.
Pushed around.
I think we'd better wrap
him up on the floor.
On, the floor. In the alley. D'oh!
That's nice, thank you.
- I'm sorry.
Easy, easy Andrews.
You're going to bust something.
Now if you'll bend your head...
Nuuu, no you don't! No, you don't, Bergen.
Will you take his hat?
- Yes, sir.
Yeah. Well, give me a check on it.
It's a clip joint!
Will you move down here?
- Uhyeah.
Yeow! Will you give me a pillow, Bergen?
- Oh, I'm sorry.
I thought you better
wrap up his feet first.
Pleasant idea, I'll take him with me.
What's this Bergen?
Judge refuses alimony.
Oh now that's not it.
Easy with my legs there.
Oh you and... cut it out will you Andrews.
Just use the clippers in back here.
I don't know how to wrap him up.
Suppose you get down here
and I'll wrap you up.
Oh! You're tickling. Haha
I feel so silly!
Andrews: I'll have him
tied up in a minute, sir.
You're terribly sweet to do this.
I appreciate it.
Am I forgiven?
For what?
For last night.
Well, of course.
Hey, you're pinching me! Let go.
I can't breathe. Ouch!
Dirty, double crossing, good for nothing--
Well I'd better run along
before the real language starts!
Say, you haven't heard anything yet!
Good bye old-timer!
Good luck!
Charlie: Good bye, Kay.
Au revoir, Mr. Mallory.
I'll give you a ring tonight
if I can get away from Bergen.
Thank you.
Good bye.
Eh, Good bye. Good bye.
Who am I saying good bye to?
- Andrews.
Oh, Andrews.
What are we waiting for?
- We're waiting for the elevator.
Will you please shut-up?
Well, how am I supposed to know?
I can't see.
Hello, Bergen!
Will you get down, there!
Just peeking.
- All right.
- Down, yes. Yes.
Yea, down and out. Take it easy, buddy.
I got a weak heart.
Which is Mallory's apartment?
Right across the hall, sir.
Yes, sir?
I want to see Mr. Mallory.
Are you expected?
- No.
Mr. Mallory sees no one
except by appointment.
I'm sorry, sir.
Well, you tell him it's very important.
I've got to see him right away.
I beg your pardon, sir!
If you'll be good enough to sit down, sir.
I'll see what I can do.
I beg your pardon, sir. There's a
gentleman who insists on seeing you.
Mallory: Will you pardon me, dear?
Of course.
What's his name?
- I didn't quite get it, sir.
Andrews, if you've let in another
process server, I'll have your hide!
Good morning.
Mr. Mallory.
Yes, what can I do for you?
Where is she?
She? Who?
Mr. John Mallory!
The great movie actor.
The guy that's so marvelous that all
the women fall in love with so easily.
Well, I'm glad that I finally
got a good look at you!
What is this?
All my life I've had an insane
desire to twist your nose! - OW!
- Charming!
OW! Shout for the police!
- Don't you look great?
Help! You'll ruin my face!
Andrews! Help!!
- Barry!
Oh, you poor darling!
- Aoohw.
Oh, Barry. How could you?
So, you know this ruffian!
I'll have you in jail for this.
Get out of my apartment!
Oh, Barry! What have you done?
Spoiled the old peacock's
face for him, I hope.
Oh you stupid fool!
So, that's how it is!
He's a poor darling and I'm a stupid fool.
Barry, wait!
It's turning blue!
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Let me look at it.
No, no, no, no. Don't touch it!
Does it hurt?
I..I shall consider myself very
fortunate if I'm not disfigured for life.
Oh, he must have been out of his mind!
Tell me. Who was that gangster?
Oh, he's not a gangster.
He's Barry Page,
the boy I told you about last night.
We're going to be married.
Well, things are happening!
Yesterday, I discovered I was a father.
Today I'm to be a Father-in-law.
And in a year, all things being equal,
I'll be a grandfather!
If you'll excuse me,
I'll try to catch Barry and explain.
Explain what?
That you're my father.
Why, I couldn't let him go on thinking
what he does about me, could I?
Oh, yes.
I'll be back in a little while.
I'm finished, Andrews.
It's all over.
I couldn't stop her. She's going to tell.
Tell what, sir?
You'll know soon enough.
Read the morning papers.
Read Beachel. Read Skolski
and see how they laugh at me.
But what have you done, sir.
I don't understand.
Don't you know that it's
a crime to stay young?
How old am I, Andrews?
How old do I look?
Not a day over 35, sir.
I'm 52.
And tomorrow every housewife in America is
going to read it over her morning coffee.
Get me a cup and make it strong.
Yes, sir.
Oh, Honey.
Oh, hello, Barry.
Where are you going?
Up to the corner for a cup of coffee.
Come on, I'll go with you.
Anything wrong, Barry?
No. Nothing.
You think we can still get that booking?
Maybe. If we can make
Pittsburgh by tomorrow.
We can make it.
You pack and I'll run down,
pick up the tickets and sign the contract.
But Barry,
why in the world are you trying--
- Now,
don't ask a lot of questions!
I just want to get out of this
town as quickly as possible.
You haven't killed anyone, have you?
What's the matter? Don't you wanna go?
Sure! If you want to.
Anything you want is okay with me.
It's always been like that, hasn't it?
Kay was right.
She said you were--
--Said I was what?
She said you were in love with me.
What if I were?
S'pose I told you that
I thought the same way about you?
I'd say you're a liar.
All right, so I'm a liar.
Would you marry me?
Barry, have you forgotten that last night
you told me that you're in love with Kay?
That was last night.
I realize now what a class-A sap I've been.
Looking for something real
when I had it all the time.
Maybe I needed a good,
swift kick to find it out.
Barry, do you really mean it?
Now, what do you want me to do?
Stand on my head?
from now on it's you and me. Remember that.
Nobody else.
Get your coffee.
Where are you going?
I'm going to get us booked
before you change your mind.
Come in.
Honey, have you seen Barry?
Yes, I just left him.
I've got to see him.
Where is he?
Gone to see an agent
about a job.
We're going on the road.
I'm packing now for both of us.
Just like old times, only better!
Kay, do me a favor, will you and drag
that suitcase out from under the bed?
Kay, what do you think?
He asked me to marry him!
After being together 5
years, suddenly he asks me.
Just like that!
You could've knocked me over.
When did this happen?
Just now.
I wonder what Cora did
with that clean laundry?
I don't mind telling you,
I was pretty scared when you came along.
I thought he was nuts about you!
It's funny how things turned out.
One minute you want to take poison and
the next you're singing like a Canary.
You must think I'm crazy
carrying on like this
but I think it's swell when two
people are married and work together.
I'd give my life to put
Barry up where he belongs.
I think, I dream, I pray for his success.
It's all I care about.
Well, of course with you
it's something else again.
You've got your own career.
Not to mention Mallory!
You don't have to explain, Honey.
I wish you all the happiness in the world.
Both of you.
Shall we go inside?
- I'd love to.
Rick, how are you?
John! How are you? - You needn't
bother about us. We know everybody.
All right, I'll see you later.
Katherine, I want you to meet Mr. Tucker.
This is my protege, Miss Katherine Martin.
Simply everybody in New York is here.
Everybody wants to see what she looks like.
He can still pick 'em.
I wish you all the luck in the world.
Oh, thank you.
- And he means it, too.
Indeed, I do!
Excuse me a moment, please.
- Certainly.
Cora, I'm so glad you came.
I thought you'd deserted us.
Not me.
You're looking lovelier than ever.
Thank you!
What's going on in there?
Charlie McCarthy is causing
a riot among the guests.
Say, fine thing not allowing
women at the Lamb's Gamble
I'd have given anything to
have seen Charlie mow 'em down!
Now, listen.
I'm going to tell you a secret.
Rudy Vallee was there and he
was so impressed with Bergen
That he's invited him to appear as
a guest star on his radio program.
Good heavens!
What's a dummy going to do on the air?
Never you mind.
I have complete faith in Charlie.
I don't think that's funny.
You don't!
Oh, people, people, people.
I've never seen so many faces!
Such a distinguished looking mob, too!
Charlie, we're mingling with
the cream of society today.
The cream?
- Yes, indeed.
What do you mean?
Why, you know.
The cream, eh, floats on top.
Oh, yeah. Yeah...
So does scum!
- Eh? Well...
Will you excuse me, please?
Of course.
Isn't this something?
Not much like the old boarding
house on 45th street is it?
Oh, I'd miss 45th street
if I weren't so busy.
You're lucky to be away from it.
It's like a morgue since you
and Honey and Barry left.
I expect Bergen will be checking out next.
Heard from Honey lately?
Had a letter yesterday.
They've been held over in Buffalo.
Oh, I'm glad!
Have they, uh, been married, yet?
No. Honey wants to wait until
they play her home town.
- I'm just crazy about you!
Well, she's sober. She's...
Eh, tell me some more.
I want to be your friend.
Well, you could be my friend
if you'd do me a little favor.
Oh, I'd love to. What is it?
Would you, eh,
loan me 50 cents until Wednesday?
No. No, I couldn't do that.
Eh, Tuesday?
Til Monday?
What's going on here?
You don't mean to tell me
that you're trying to
borrow money from this lady!
Well, I- I didn't mean to tell you, no.
- No and worse than that, I didn't get it.
- Oh, I see.
Well, I'm glad you didn't give it to him!
- Yes.
And that reminds me, young man!
- What?
I left a quarter on my
dresser this morning,
- Yes.
And when I came back, the quarter was gone.
It was?
- Yes.
And we are the only two people up there.
Well, there's always, eh... there's eh...
Mr. Bergen!
Do you realiiiize what you've said?
Yes, I do!
Do you realiiiize what you've done?
I do!
Well, that's the last straw!
The man has called me a common thief!
- Now listen, Charlie.
If I've made a mistake--
- Oh, there's nothing you can do!
I want to apologi--
--there's nothing you can DO Mr. Bergen!
And the- the wrong is done!
Now, listen---
Listen, Charlie! I'll be glad
to apologize--- - DOOO DO DO!
There's nothing you can do!
All right. I'm sorry! I want to apologize!
You do?
- Yes,
I really don't think you took it.
Don't you think I took it?
- I don't think so.
- And I want to apologize.
You do?
- Yes.
Will you forgive me?
Uh. Uhhhh, well you won't mention it again?
I'll never mention it again.
A-all right. I'll forgive you.
- Thank you.
- Yes.
Now, that it's all settled, is it
all right for me to keep the quarter?
I don't think that's very funny.
You don't?
Well, then why did you make me say it?
Oh, I see.
That kills him.
- Yes, em...
You're not so clever either, Mr. Bergen.
Oh, I'm not?
I can see your lips moving.
- Oh, you do?!
That burns him up, you know.
I'll hear about this when I get home.
Yes, you will.
Well, I'm sorry about that.
Will you watch it, please?!
I will watch it. Yes.
Yes. It spoils the illusion.
Yes, I know.
After all, there's no use
of us BOTH being dummies!
- No, I...
Well, he's still got them
laughing, hasn't he?
The Great Mr. Bergen.
The ventriloquist here.
Why you went out with the Bustle.
Aall right!
I can do that stuff myself.
What are you doing down there, George?
[Charlie throwing his voice.]
"Oh, something old!"
Now, go ahead. Top it!
Yeah, all right. All right.
- Where would you be without me?
Yeah, well, where would you be without me?
Yeah? Well, you got me there.
Yes, well I'll show you where I would be.
You'd be selling papers.
Oh, no, I wouldn't! Now,
sit right over there!
- Oh!
That's right. Kick me in the face!
Mortimer! Mortimer!
- Yeuh, yup.
Come right up here.
Would you like to meet these people?
Naw, no, no.
There's some very charming girls here.
This is Charlie.
Isn't he funny?
All right.
Mortimer. What is your last name?
- I said, what is your last name?
Who me?
- Yes, you.
- Yes. That's your first name.
Yeup, yup, yup, yup
Eh, Mortimer, uh...
All right, the last name.
Mortimer, phh...
Yeah. Well, that's the first name.
- Yeah, that's the first name. Stupid.
Mortimerrr... phh...
Oh, come on! Don't you know your last name?
Well, I'm working on it!
Come on!
Mortimer Snerd!
Yea ha ha ha
That's mean all right!
Yes. Well, uh, are you a city boy?
No. I'm a country boy.
A country boy.
You work on a farm?
Yeup, yup, yup
What do you raise?
Oh, corn, potatoes and stuff like that.
Well, then you must have great soil.
I say, you must have rich soil.
On the farm?
Rich soil?
Well, if you raise all those products,
- yes.
Yes, what?
I don't know.
You don't know...
You must have rich soil, haven't you?
Yea... rich soil?
On the farm?
-On the farm.
You mean, you mean it's FER'EL? [fertile]
- Yea, yea
Oh, yea, mighty, mighty fer'el.
I don't think it's funny.
Are you a farmer?
No, Char-- Eh, No, Mortimer.
Just call me Dugan, that's alright.
You know. You see, um...
I, uh. I'm not a farmer,
but I'm a student of Palmer Street.
Are you really?
Yes. Yes.
You know I can look into your hand here
and I can read your past and your future.
Is that so?
What will they think of next?
You have a very interesting hand.
Yea, yea, yea.
You notice that your fingers
are all the same shape.
Yea, five of a kind.
Yea that's right.
And now your index finger you'll
notice the nail on your index finger...
is very broad.
-There's a lesson there.
Yep what is it?
I'll never stick it in the wringer again.
Now this is your heart line.
ehhh... that's the love line.
You were in love last summer weren't you?
Oh my my my.
-You mean Tilly?
Where you in love with Tilly?
Uh well we fooled around.
Just the once.
Well now I'm very happy
to tell you Mortimer.
That you're going to inherit
two thousand dollars.
Oh boy, oh boy.
But through legal procedings
you're going to lose it.
Oh bo... Oh yea?
I went through that in a hurry didn't I?
Are you making much money?
Well I make two dollars a
hole selling fertile dirt.
You do?
I used to only get a dollar a load.
-A dollar a load.
Why you're making good money now...
-two dollars a load for fertile dirt.
Great man Roosevelt.
You have increased your
product a hundred percent.
Yep, and it's the same old stuff.
Well wasn't that funny Charlie?
Oh come on now wasn't that funny?
Don't talk to me. Don't touch me.
Don't touch me!
- All right!
Did you enjoy Mortimer?
That's the most humiliating thing
you've ever done to me, Bergen!
Well, what do you mean?
Either he goes or I go!
Oh, I see.
There ain't room for three of us, Bergen.
That's all!
That's all!
That's all!
- No lis--
D-DON'T touch me.
- All right.
- L-let go of the lapel!!
All right.
I'll clip you, so help me!
I'll mow you down!
Oh, you will?
- Yeeah!
Aw, you're not mad at me.
Yes, I am.
No, you're not.
Yes, I am.
No, you're not.
Oh, yes, I am.
That's a lovely suit you have on.
Oh, you like it? I have a new tailor.
And I'm mad at you! No.
- Listen. Eh, Charlie.
- No!
I want you to look at me.
- No, I don't want to look at you.
- No! I can't stand it.
- Do do doo...
Look at me.
- Look at me.
Are you sure you're mad at me?
- Are you mad at me?
Well, I just said,
it was a dirty trick.
I think I know. But are you mad at me?
Well, I just said...
Well, I guess blood is thicker than water!
Come. Smile, my dear. That's better!
You know. I'm doing all
this just to make you happy.
I'd be terribly disappointed
if I thought I'd failed.
You haven't.
Darling, I love you.
I came all this way hoping
you'd ask me to marry you.
- I couldn't.
But why not?
There's nothing to prevent it now.
- How can you say that?
A blind man who has to be
led around by the hand.
I want to hold you by the hand forever.
-It's impossible.
Where ever we'd go there'd be glances.
I wouldn't mind for myself. But for you...
- I couldn't have you pitied because of me.
- I love you too much.
Then there's nothing else in
the whole world I care about.
-It's no use, Mary.
-You're in the world.
-I'm out of it.
Don't say that!
Good. Good. She's fine.
Nice quality.
Thank you.
- I knew you'd think so.
John, I can't tell you what a kick
I got when I heard your voice.
I'd give anything to see you do it!
Why, Lou,
I haven't done a play in 12 years.
You know that.
I couldn't even remember the lines.
I'd risk it.
However, I suppose it's useless to argue.
Hollywood's got you.
Miss Martin, I regret to say that
I'm not doing anything more this year
perhaps next season?
If you're still available.
Well, do I hear you saying you're
not going to do this play??
Well, I've got to have a
star in the man's part, John.
If you won't do it,
I can't think of anyone else.
Couldn't you persuade him?
Oh, no. I couldn't.
Well... uheh...
Too bad for me and for you, too.
Well, good bye, Miss Martin.
It was very nice.
I'm sure you'll have
no trouble on Broadway.
Thank you, very much.
John, why don't you stick around awhile?
You might recall some of your
family's ancient glories.
Remember when your mother and
father did Romeo and Juliet together
for 39 weeks?
Your brother did Othello for 40.
Seems a pity to think you're
not going to carry on!
You dog!
Well, if you change your mind,
Oh, it's too bad. You know, eh...
You two would be very good together!
Good bye, Miss Martin.
Good bye.
- Good bye, Mr. Mallory.
Bye, Joe!
Would you like to do this play with
me, Katherine?
Oh, I'd love to!
But you mustn't.
Not if you think it's wrong.
How can it be wrong?
It's the least I can do for you.
If you're going on the stage at all..
It ought to be here.
and with me.
You see up there?
Second row in the balcony.
the end seat
That's where I sat when I was 10 years old.
I saw my mother for the last time.
That was a long time ago.
Too long.
Oh, but how would I remember that
audience in their jewels and their urbans
standing there, cheering!
And they will again,
soon, for you, my dear.
And when you've taken curtain
call after curtain call
and they still want more of you
I'll come out.
And put my arm around
you before the footlights
and I'll tell them Katherine.
I'll tell them who you are.
John Mallory in "Return To Paradise"
I hear it's sold out for 4 weeks, Lou.
Pretty smart, bringing Mallory back.
I hope you'll say so in your reviews.
How's the girl?
I mean, as an actress.
- Yes, that's what I mean.
I thought she was Mallory's discovery.
Oh, Good evening, Miss Martin.
My, but you look lovely!
Thank you,
I'm so excited I can hardly talk.
And who isn't?
Oh, Johnny,
You better call half hour.
Half hour, please!
High ball glasses.
Cocktail glasses. Cards...
Yes, sir.
And uh... have the table
'bout four foot downstage.
Oh, hello, Katherine.
- Hello, Joe.
Take a look at that house. It's sold out.
Half hour, please.
Where shall I put these?
Out in the hall.
Is that the cord he rehearsed with?
- Yes, sir.
How's Mr. Mallory?
Is he here, yet?
No, miss.
- What?
I've been here since 5:30.
You know how he dreads a New York opening.
He's always the last one in.
Well, even so. Half hour's been called.
You better go check on him.
Very good, sir.
Hey, you!
Yes, you!
Come here.
I think we've had the
pleasure of meeting before.
I wouldn't call it a pleasure.
You seeing the show?
Do you think I'm a sucker?
Still a blundering,
hot-headed fool, aren't you?
For my part, I'd be very happy
if I never had to see you again.
I think I'll be able to
arrange that all right!
Oh, it isn't as easy as all that.
You're still in love with her.
Otherwise, you wouldn't be here.
Go on in. Maybe you'll learn something.
From you?
Oh, don't argue. Do as I say.
When you hear my curtain speech,
come back and offer your apologies.
On stage. Places please.
On stage. Places please.
You're late, Mr. Mallory.
Nonsense. You've got loads of time
Loads of time.
My cane, Andrews.
My gloves.
My chapeau.
Are you all right, sir?
Why, of course, I'm all right.
Can I get you some coffee, sir?
No, I don't need any coffee.
I only had a couple of highballs
just to steady my nerves.
Important night, Andrews!
The house is sold out.
- Yes, sir.
Miss Martin in her dressing room?
Yes, sir.
What's my first line?
"I waited for you in the garden"!
Oh, yes. Of course.
"I waited for you in the garden."
You know, Andrews. It's the strangest thing
that I can never remember my
first lines on opening night.
Until I get on the stage,
and then it all comes back to me.
Mr. Mallory!
Awwww, Andrews.
You haven't too much time, sir.
Andrews. Now, you treat me like a child.
The act runs 6 minutes
before I make my entrance.
And in 6 minutes I can make up
for Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde.
I wonder if Barry is here.
He said he wasn't coming.
Oh, that was for Honey's benefit.
He isn't fooling her, either.
May I have Charlie's autograph?
This is forgery, you know.
Charlie may sue me.
Thank you. Thank you, Mrs. Bergen.
Oh, I'm not Mrs. Bergen.
I'm Mrs. McCarthy!
The scene is the drawing room of
Richard Storm's Long Island estate.
And evening in late Spring.
See who that is.
Kay: May I come in?
Not just now, Miss Martin.
Mr. Mallory's dressing.
I just wanted to thank him for the flowers.
And tell him I'm going to do my best.
Thanks, my dear! Good luck!
Same to you.
Bottle snatcher!
I feel it's too ghastly.
I never even
suspected anything until
he bought her here.
Brought who here, Charlotte?
The house is full of people.
Mary Draper!
Good luck.
Thanks, Joe!
I need it.
You don't know what tonight means to me.
...and I won't have it!...
"And when they're cheering,
"I'll come out and put my arm around you.
"And I'll tell them who you are.
What did you say?
Nothing, Joe.
Wait and see.
...I don't see why you need
any help to wreck this one...
- I'm going home.
The idea of you dragging me
here away from my own guests,
simply because you two--
- Shh!
Miss Draper. Mrs. Stopherson, my aunt.
How do you do?
Richard has told me a great deal about you.
Charlotte has told me
a great deal about you.
Forgive me for leaving you now.
I have guests waiting.
I'd like to have a cup of tea with
you, if you're still here tomorrow.
I should love that.
Good bye, Jenny.
Good bye, Charlotte.
Sorry, I can't help.
Au revoir, Miss Draper.
- Good bye.
Where is everybody?
-At supper.
Richard, too? - Miss Draper,
I'd like to have a talk with you.
I'm going to be very frank.
- I wish you would.
Your staying here...
Mr. Mallory. On stage.
Just a moment!
I can't do it, Andrews.
I can't do it.
10 years of those wretched
pictures have done something to me.
It isn't like carrying a play in New York.
But they're ready to
tear anybody apart who
has the temerity to come
back from Hollywood.
But you were excellent in Cleveland, sir.
Mr. Mallory, please hurry.
Give me that first line again, Andrews.
"I waited for you in the garden"!
- Yes. I've got it.
"I waited for you in the garden."
"I hated to leave, because
"I wanted to see your
face in the moonlight.
What's next, Andrews?
"Where it's quiet and we can be alone"
...Richard is an artist...
...it's important that his family
look after his interests...
...when he chooses to ignore them...
I'm sorry you don't like me, Miss Dor.
...because I'm leaving here
tonight and never coming back.
...and Richard is coming with me.
Good luck, Mr. Mallory.
Thanks, Joe.
...all your life...
...You're much too young for Richard...
...You're not suited to each other...
That may be. But he loves me
...and I love him...
...and there's nothing you can
do or say that can change that...
Don't be too sure of that!
These fools. They're confusing me.
I waited for you in the garden.
I hated to leave because I wanted
to see your face in the moonlight.
Richard, can't we go away from here
where it's quiet and we can be alone?
We can be alone here.
Please, Richard.
I'm not comfortable here.
What's my next line?
[Kay whispers]
"But, Mary, this is my home".
This is my home!
I want you to love it as I do.
Soon it will be all yours.
We've a lot to talk over before that.
Please, Richard. Let's go.
Whatever you say, my dear.
I'll get my things and meet you in the car.
What's the matter with him, Andrews?
It's just nerves, Miss. That's all.
You were very nice, Miss.
Thank you, Andrews.
...Say, Richard.
I didn't know you were down...
...the others have all gone to supper...
Have they?
What's happening?
...Did you ring, sir?
...Oh, uh, yes...
Bring me my hat and coat,
please, and have my car waiting.
Yes, sir.
You're not going out anywhere
this evening are you?
Ah, yes.
Yes, I'm going into town.
Have you forgotten your guests?
Crowd: What's the matter with Mallory?
- He's drunk.
[Off-stage whisper]
"Make my apologies."
Can't you go in the morning?
Mallory: What's my next line?
"Charlotte, can't I even go into town?"
Can't I even go into town
without consulting you?
"Will you stop interfering in my life."
Go out there. He's coded.
Your coat, sir.
Will you put it on?
- Oh, thank you...
Cut it down to his exit speech!
You can't go on like this.
I've stood it as long as I intend to.
This girl's presence in this place
is, is...
[audience titters]
it's an intolerable humiliation!
Help him with his coat.
Help him. with. his. coat.
...Richard, can I help you?
You never seem to enjoy yourself as
much, Charlotte,
as when you're making me--
- You're going the wrong way.
This way.
You never seem to enjoy
yourself as much a--- - Oh!
Bring down the curtain. Bring it down.
What's happened?
Ladies and gentlemen...
due to the...
sudden illness of Mr. Mallory,
I regret to announce that we're unable
to continue the performance this evening.
Your money will be
refunded at the box-office.
Why don't you say it, Katherine?
Why don't you say that I failed you?
Why don't you say that
I'm a drunken has-been?
I'd stay here for a little while, sir,
if I were you. I wouldn't try to go out.
Was that Mallory?
I didn't see his face.
It looked like him.
You're the first to congratulate me.
What did you think of my night of triumph?
Stop it. Stop it!
Just a minute!
I can't imagine what happened.
Guess he drank himself out of it...
I liked what I saw of the girl.
He's smashed, is all.
It would have been funny,
if it weren't so tragic.
Yes. Certainly, it was Mallory.
I saw him myself.
He was hit by a taxi.
I tell you and badly injured.
Was Kay Martin with him?
Well stick there.
Call me if anything happens.
Hey, Suzy.
Find out where Kay Martin lives.
Get her on the phone.
How should I know?
Where shall I put this stuff
from the dressing room?
Oh, anywhere Edgar. Just leave it there.
Shall I answer?
Miss Martin has nothing to say.
She won't talk to any reporters.
It's nearly 11, Edgar.
I know. I've got to beat it.
I'm on the air in a half hour.
Good luck, Edgar.
Thanks a lot for everything.
Kay, if I could only tell you how sorry--
All right, Lancelot.
You've said your piece. Get going.
You know what Charlie will
do if you're late. - What?
He'll clip you Bergen. He'll mow you down!
We'll do what we can. It's...
useless to operate.
Opiates to relieve his pain is
about all we can do at the present.
Have you notified his family?
Mr. Mallory has no family, sir.
He's calling for someone named Katherine.
Oh, yes. Do you think
he might see her, sir?
Well, there's no reason why Mr. Mallory
shouldn't do anything he wants to now.
Thank you, sir.
Oh, Doctor! You know the...
Listen, operator. I told you.
Miss Martin isn't talking to anybody.
No, not anybody.
She has no statement to make!
Oh, let them say anything they like.
Everything that's nasty
and mean has already
been printed in all
those gossip columns.
What harm can they do now?
Oh, you mustn't feel like that, Kay.
Oh, it's time for Edgar. Do you mind?
Of course, not.
He'd never forgive us if we didn't
listen and tell him how bad he is.
"And now, ladies and gentlemen,
the boys who have New York at their feet!
"Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy!
Mr. Bergen,
before we continue with another broadcast,
I want you to answer me one question.
Do I get an increase in my allowance?
After all, 75 cents a week isn't enough.
What's that?
I'm afraid we're not going
to be very funny tonight.
Mr. Bergen?
I'm afraid not, Charlie.
Ladies and gentlemen,
will you forgive us for not
being at our best this evening?
Because a dear friend of
ours, a great actor,
met with a disaster.
He opened in a new play tonight.
His first appearance on
Broadway in 12 years.
Because he was nervous,
he went up in his lines.
For the first time in a
long and brilliant career,
the curtain had to be
run down on John Mallory.
Must've been a terrible blow to his pride.
If only we could tell him
that it didn't matter.
But every man is entitled to one muff.
But we can't.
Because 20 minutes after
the curtain came down,
John Mallory was struck by a taxi
and is now lying close to death.
If any of his friends are listening
in, they ought to go to him.
He's at the mid-town hospital.
Mid-town hospital? Where is that?
- Get your coat on. I'll take you.
Andrews! He's going to be all
right, isn't he?
The reports are exaggerated.
I'm afraid not, Miss.
He wants to see you.
It will make him very
happy to know you're here.
I'll wait for you here.
Mr. Mallory,
call the reporters...
something I...
want to tell them...
I should have done it long ago.
Mr. Mallory,
you were asking for Miss Martin.
Yes, Andrews.
Be sure...
be sure to tell her...
if you see her...
how much I love her...
Darling, I'm here.
It's Katherine.
Oh, my darling.
To think I could be so selfish and cruel!
you've made me happier..
than all the people I've ever known...
put together...
You mustn't cry, dear.
Mustn't cry.
I didn't keep my promise, Katherine.
I didn't tell them about you.
It doesn't matter.
But I'm going to.
- Yes?
They're downstairs.
Do you want them to come up now?
Yes! Yes.
Bring them in.
- Very good.
You must be quiet now. Rest.
try to forgive me...
for being such a bad father.
Oh, darling, you haven't!
I've never done anything for you...
as a father should...
I'm going to tell the world about you.
Well, at least...
I can do that.
Miss Ryan.
Hoooh, no!
Just one moment, please.
Mr. Mallory has just passed away.
This goes to Pennsylvania station.
I'm really sorry you're going away.
Why don't you stay here and do
another play for me? Right away.
I can't.
Not while I'm...
I'm... on Roman Holiday for
all the gossip columnists.
I'd feel I were capitalizing on his death.
But he would have wanted you to go on.
Well, maybe next year when
they've forgotten all about me.
I'll come back and try again.
whenever you do decide, let me know.
You've been very kind.
If you wanna make that
plane, you'd better hurry.
All set, Kay?
I think I have everything.
- Shall I take this?
Please, will you?
Mr. Bergen.
- Hello, Andrews.
Excuse me, please.
Hello, Andrews.
- Miss Cora.
Miss Martin,
I was so afraid I'd missed you.
You know I wouldn't go without seeing you.
I've been going through
Mr. Mallory's effects.
I came across this letter of yours.
I thought perhaps you'd like to keep it.
My letter of introduction.
Thank you, Andrews.
You- you won't...
Not if you don't want me to, Miss.
But don't you think it might be
better for you, if-- - No, Andrews.
No one would understand my
waiting until now to announce it.
If he had told,
it would have been different, but...
If I were to tell now, it would only cause
more unpleasant publicity about him and
I don't want that.
I understand.
Allow me.
Thank you.
Oh, there's Barry.
Oh, Miss Martin!
Miss Martin,
could we have a statement, please?
Please, gentlemen, I have nothing to say.
- Where're you going?
- Barry!
Where, Miss Martin?
Beat to the shore, will you, Sparky?
Just a second.
- Now, Come on!
Newspaper bloodhounds!
Are you going home?
Kay, darling...
Yes, Barry.
I love you.
I always have and I always will.
I was a fool. Jealous and suspicious.
I tried to forget you.
I never wrecked Honey's life.
It doesn't seem possible so many
things could happen in so short a time.
And all because of this letter.
The letter that was to open the
doors of fame, success and happiness.
And now...
Now, he's dead.
Did he mean so much to you?
More than anyone will ever know.
Then, I guess there's nothing else to say.
Barry, dear,
Will you please read this?
Edgar, tell them to hurry or we'll
never get to the station in time.
Yeah, step on it. - Oh,
let's not bother. They'll never go there.
You're pretty sure, aren't you?
Listen, Cora.
That boy and that girl clicked
the first moment they
looked at each other.
It's that kind of a look that
will last until eternity.
My, my! How poetic.
Oh, shut-up.
Edgar, is Charlie always
going to come between us?
Ye- How do you like that?
This is my car!
Bergen bought it for me, so I wouldn't
have to be wrapped up in newspapers
every time I went out.
Oh, I'm sorry, Charlie.
But you are in the way.
- Mr. Bergen and I have things to discuss.
Oh, sure, yeah...
I suppose you want to sit on his lap, huh?
- Huh?
- Would you be good enough, to...
No, I wouldn't!
Don't be a sap.
As long as I'm between you, you're safe!
Why if I leave,
she'll take you like Grant took Richmond!
Join hands. In chorus we will sing...
...through the hot time, do the whole town
tonight, my baby!