Lilith (2025) Movie Script
1
- Lilu!
Lilu!
Baby, are you okay?
Lilu!
Lilu!
Lilith.
Lilu.
- Any change?
- I'm really sorry.
It's not a good time.
- And so when would be a good time?
- Not now.
- Come on, sweetie!
- I know you.
Yeah.
I know you.
That's not yours.
- "Behind every man now
alive stand 30 ghosts,
for that is the ratio by which the dead
outnumber the living."
That was true 50 years
ago when he wrote it.
Our numbers have swelled to such
that there are now but 10
ghosts haunting each of us,
most of which have long
since been forgotten.
I love this woman.
She knows me better than I know myself.
I have my regrets,
moments passed that I wish I could relive.
Lilith, my heart,
in my blood, in my mind.
This city is sterile, empty,
filled with shadows.
It breeds sound.
A pulsing, pounding rhythm.
The earth is a monstrous beast,
clad in concrete armor.
Its inhabitants, parasites,
infesting its surface.
And here I stand, hermetically sealed
in this glass box, silently suffocating.
If Einstein said that, and
I don't think that he did.
He didn't.
But if he did, that's not what he meant.
What Einstein meant was
that people are stupid.
The idea that we only use
10% of our brain is a myth,
and that's been proven time
and time again in the lab.
It was the self-help gurus
who perpetuated this myth
by selling people on their potential.
You're not that bright now,
but think about how smart
you'd be if you bought our products.
And then your new age spiritualists jumped
on that band wagon to sell people
on the idea that the
other 90% of their brain
was used for psychic activity,
like astral travel, seeing ghosts,
visions, that stuff.
Einstein was frustrated
with people's stupidity,
and one thing he did say
is that the difference
between genius and stupidity
is genius has its limits.
- Stupidity knows no bounds.
- Exactly.
Einstein was making a comment
on the unwillingness of people
to think for themselves.
The irony is that people
took that as truth
instead of thinking for themselves.
- Yeah, but that's not what I'm saying.
I'm just, I'm worried about Lilu,
the damage this has caused her.
- To what, her brain?
- To her psyche.
It doesn't help that we're on the run.
Wouldn't it be best to keep things
as close to normal as possible?
- No.
No, we discussed this.
There is no normal, not anymore.
No phone, no internet, nothing traceable.
If you try and contact
anyone, we could be found.
- Honey, breakfast is ready!
- The important thing is that we're safe.
Morning, sweetheart.
You liking your room?
Did you sleep okay?
Sit down for breakfast.
Here you go.
- There's a problem with your AC?
- Yeah.
- You here on holidays?
I'm Frank.
- Michael.
- Michael.
Yeah.
Conrads are never here.
They're always renting the place out.
Interesting taste in art, hey?
You here with the family?
I'm the caretaker here, so.
If you need anything, you
can contact me directly.
Here's my card.
I got fingers in a lot of pies.
Use that one card for everything.
Let's take a look at this thing, shall we?
You here for long?
- How secure is this building?
- Ah, it's pretty tight.
It's not your unit.
All looks fine.
Might be the central air.
I'll have to check it out.
- Ever been any break-ins up here?
- No, no, no, no.
Whose place you trying to get into?
It's not really possible.
I mean, even if you did get in,
you can't get to the upper floors,
or into any of the rooms.
And if you tried, you'd
get caught on tape.
There was this one guy.
Ex-boyfriend tried to break
into the apartment next door.
He tailed someone in, then
got stuck in the stairwell.
Eventually he had to make
his way out the bottom.
Crazy thing is later on they made up.
She let him back in.
And when she did, he killed her.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Nothing we could do to prevent it.
You know, once you're in, you're in.
- So who has access to the keys?
- Every tenant's
got a swipe of the key,
so they've got access to the entrance,
elevator access to the public areas,
and their level of residence.
- But no one has access to
this apartment except us?
- Yeah, no one but you.
You're the only ones with a key.
- But you have keys to all the rooms.
- In case of an emergency.
Yeah.
I've got a spare.
Look, if you've got any issues,
you just give me a call, all right?
Yeah.
- Honey, will you come give me a hand?
Sort these in pairs, please.
So.
Are we talking?
Are you talking?
You talkin' to me?
You talkin' to me?
You talkin' to me?
There's no one else here.
You must be talkin' to me.
No?
Nothing?
- Mom, I can't.
- What, baby?
- I can't tell the truth.
- Honey.
You can lie to me, but only if you tell me
what I want to hear.
Just throw it out, honey.
Lilu.
- What are you doing in here?
I know this is hard on you.
It's hard on mommy and me as well.
I may not be able to change the situation,
but I'm a pretty good listener.
You can talk to me, you know that, right?
Look what I found.
Do you want to come out and draw together?
Do you want me to leave them here for you?
It's okay, baby.
- I'm not a baby.
- I know.
I'm sorry.
- Mom wouldn't like my drawings.
- Don't be too hard on your mom, okay?
I'll worry about her.
It's not a healthy way to treat
a psychological condition.
- Do you really know that?
I mean, normal's relative, right?
In many cultures, people hear voices
and see things that we can't explain.
- Neither can they.
- But they do.
Not by, not by our
beliefs, but by their own.
Look, the Maasai people
of Kenya, for example.
They-they interpret voices
as that of ghosts or God,
or a guardian spirit.
They don't take drugs.
They live with the voices.
They befriend them.
And their beliefs protect them.
- Yeah.
It's easy to think that belief
in the supernatural protects us.
I mean, most of the
world thinks the things
they don't understand,
the things that they fear,
are being governed by a god of some sort.
- Yeah, but the Maasai people,
they believe that they're
talking to a guardian.
- That may make them feel better about it.
It doesn't make it true.
Ghosts and gods are
not here to protect us.
We invented them to explain our psychosis.
- There's not much in here, hon.
- I'll get takeout.
- Hon.
- What's with radio silence?
- I'm sorry for the dead air.
We just had to get away.
- And to where might that be?
- I'm sorry, soldier.
You don't have the clearance.
- Top secret?
Is this the time to be playing spy games?
Well, while you've been
away on your mission,
5-0 has been asking questions here.
- I don't trust the police
enough to really handle it.
They're not helping.
They can't keep us safe.
- Safe?
From who?
What really happened?
- Babe, if I wanted an inquisition,
I'd have called the Pope.
Or Mom.
Maybe I should have.
I feel like I'm 12 and I just want her
to stroke my hair and tell me
everything is gonna be okay.
- When did she ever do that?
- I know, right?
- You need to talk to someone.
- I called you, didn't I?
- Is Michael there?
- No, he's out.
And I know what you're thinking.
We made this decision together.
We made the decision for our family.
For what's left of it.
- How is Lilu?
Is she safe?
- She is, but I worry for her.
She's in shock.
- She needs time.
- She needs time.
- She needs
time with her favorite-
- Only.
- Best aunt.
- I know what's best for my daughter.
I better go.
- Marion, I wanna
know what's going on.
The truth.
You need to be honest with yourself.
Promise to stay in touch.
- I promise.
Don't touch me!
- Shh!
- Don't you touch me!
- It's okay, it's okay.
It's just a dream.
It's okay.
It's a dream, it's a dream.
You're awake now.
Let it go, let it go.
That's it.
You can forget it.
It's okay, it's okay.
You can forget it.
- Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?
You'd prefer me easy with no history.
My history is a nightmare
from which I'm trying to awaken.
- It's all my fault.
- It's my fault.
I should have been there for her.
- There's nothing you could do.
And you were a great mom,
our great mother.
- A mother who lost one child to die,
and the other to live as a ghost.
- I'm to blame for all
of this, sweetheart.
It's my responsibility
to protect my family.
I failed you.
And I won't fail you again.
I won't, I won't let
you suffer my mistakes.
- If that's true,
why do I feel this unbearable guilt?
- It's part of a natural grieving process.
- Is it natural for me to despise you?
- From time to time.
The feeling itself is not wrong.
- God!
Don't you handle me, you asshole!
I'm not your patient!
You're not a real psychiatrist.
Those who don't do,
those who don't, they preach.
That's what you do, don't you?
Preach, preach, preach, preach.
Singing the praise of
your intellectual gods.
- Daddy.
Does mommy know?
Is that why she's angry?
- Know what, sweetheart?
- My secret.
- Your secret?
- The things I'm seeing.
I can't explain.
Monsters.
- In your dreams?
It's just your imagination, Lilu.
You know who has control
of your imagination?
You do.
So the next time those
monsters come for you,
you know you have the power to stop them.
- Please don't tell mummy my secret.
- Your secret's safe with me, sweetheart.
- I just wanted to take the edge off.
- Just say it.
- Come on, I can see
you're about to burst.
- You know my opinion.
- Yeah, but you're
dying to tell me anyway.
- You know the risks.
- Get it out, you'll feel so much better.
- For someone with your condition.
- There you go.
Like a smart ass bomb that
seeks to hate the buzz.
- Buzz-seeking missile that's
guaranteed to kill the buzz.
- What's the buzz?
- Nothing, honey.
Just something your father killed.
- Oh honey, no.
Mommy is just being silly.
- Hey you know what night it is tonight?
- Halloween?
- Wanna do something fun?
- Yes.
- No trick or treating.
- No, Lilu's stronger than you know.
- No leaving the apartment.
- Now who's killing the buzz?
- Okay, you wanna be a zombie?
- Yes.
- All right, come here.
Put your arms down by your side.
Now I'm gonna hold them and you push.
Push outwards, like you
wanna reach the sky.
Push.
Push as hard as you can
for as long as you can.
Come on.
Can you feel it?
- Yes.
- What happened to my little girl?
The girl I loved is no longer in there.
- I can't push anymore.
- Okay, relax.
- Whoa!
- She's a mindless zombie.
- It's cool, but it isn't scary.
- Oh, you think you're
a big girl now, do you?
- I'm a woman.
- Not yet, sweetheart.
Please.
Not yet, give me a few more years.
Yeah?
All right, you want something
scary, something terrifying.
If you're ready, I'll show
you Caputo's illusion.
- Caputo?
- Okay, I want you to
stare deep into your eyes,
and behold the terrifying demons
that will arise from the depths
to possess your soul.
- My mouth.
It disappeared.
- It's okay, sweetheart.
It's just an illusion.
That's called the Troxler effect.
See, when you stare at
something that doesn't change,
your mind eventually ignores it,
and it seems to disappear altogether.
Your mind is a slippery beast, my dear.
Things that seem so real
often are not at all.
It's okay, Lilu.
You're safe with me.
Try it again.
- Please, fill this out.
I'm sorry to tell you that
we only have a few minutes.
So what seems to be the trouble?
- The trouble?
Sorry, what?
- Oh, it can be terribly disorienting.
I'm afraid you've died.
- You're-
- Yeah, I appear to
everyone as themselves.
A bit easier with a familiar face.
Saves time.
There's never enough time.
You know how it is.
Five minutes per patient.
- Wait about that, aren't
you on the present?
- Oh, silly spread, yes.
and there's a lot of people to see,
and very little time to
address their issues.
- And we've only got five minutes?
- Oh, three, actually.
I'm running a little late.
- Oh, yeah.
So I should call you god?
- Well look, I know you
don't actually believe
in a god, so perhaps it might be better
if you regard me as the
manifestation of consciousness
within a singular spacetime continuum.
- Uh, god's fine.
- Fine.
- So what are you?
- Oh, you'd be surprised how many people
wanna know about me,
and how few wanna know about themselves.
- How did I die?
- You fell asleep behind the wheel.
Well, you don't have much time.
- I just lost my life, and
now I'm running out of time
in the afterlife?
I thought heaven was
supposed to last an eternity.
- Well, that would be hell.
- I regret my inattention.
Not paying enough
attention to my patients,
to my children.
To my wife.
To myself.
- Well, that's what this is.
Time for yourself.
- That's heaven?
- What else is there but a
fleeting moment of awareness?
What else can we do with our lives
than appreciate our time?
- Well.
Thank you for your time.
- And that's all we have.
- Time, is it?
- I had a nightmare last night.
Felt trapped, entombed, in the dream.
Couldn't wake.
What did you dream?
- Nothing.
At least nothing I can recall.
- Are you sure?
- I don't know.
I'm so tired.
I blink and time just disappears.
Micro sleeps.
Time passes.
I don't feel rested at all.
- Last night you had dreams.
Last night you had dreams.
- What are you trying to say, Marion?
- "And the desert creatures
shall meet with the wolves.
The wild goat shall cry to its kind.
Yes, Lilith shall settle there,
and shall find herself a resting place."
- You heard those words?
- You spoke them.
- What?
- Isiah 34:14.
I looked it up.
- I was quoting the Bible?
- In Hebrew.
- I don't know what you heard,
but it wasn't me.
- It wasn't you that came from your mouth?
- Not from your mind.
This is not dissimilar to
how it began last time.
- I can't talk to you right now.
Give me a minute.
To be continued.
Okay, we need to talk.
What's going on with you?
- Nothing.
- I need you to be honest with me.
You need to be honest with yourself.
What are you hiding?
- I am honest with you.
- I mean what's that behind your back?
- It's just some drawings.
- Lilu's?
- They're just scribbles.
- May I?
Michael?
- I know how this looks to you,
but it's not uncommon for
children who have gone
through a traumatic experience to express-
- How it looks to me?
Since you're the expert, tell
me how does it look to me?
- I'm sorry.
I didn't mean for it to sound that way.
- How did you mean for it to sound?
- Hey.
Hey.
Can we not do this?
Okay, we're on the same team here.
- I need a smoke.
I can't take this shit any longer.
- You can't take
his shit any longer?
- I don't know what's going on with him.
- Back it up, honey.
Start from the start.
- Before this Orwellian nightmare.
I had a life, a beautiful life.
- You had the perfect life.
You were the perfect wife
with your perfect husband,
and your two insanely angelic girls.
And something happened.
- Something happened?
Let's call it what it is.
It's not something, it's the
fucking murder of my child.
My beautiful girl.
Poisoned.
- Why run?
- We had to go.
They suspected us.
- They thought you killed her?
- They needed someone to blame,
and I was an easy target.
Mentally unstable mother kills her own.
They're demonizing me in the press.
- But why run?
- We didn't, we were chased out.
- Chased by who?
It's just you.
- It's just you?
- It's just you.
- It's just me.
Honey, I'm sorry.
You were right.
I need to trust you.
No more smoking.
Just, I can't trust myself right now.
- It's okay.
We're all under a lot
of stress, all of us.
The police, the press.
I feel like I haven't slept all week.
Been riding on adrenaline,
like we're wild men living on the Savanna
and watching over the two
of you while you sleep,
waiting for predators to attack.
- I want to trust you.
- You can.
You know that I would do anything for you.
- I just can't
trust anything right now.
- You can trust me.
- Hey.
- Lilu, coming out for breakfast?
Where have you been hiding?
I know what you'd like.
No?
Oui?
If you don't want it, you need to tell me.
- No.
- What's that?
- No.
- Is your voice hiding too?
I can't hear you.
- I said no.
- What's that?
- No!
- I can't hear you!
- No!
- There she is, there's my girl.
Puts a little pink in those pretty cheeks
of yours, doesn't it?
I haven't seen you in so long.
It feels like forever.
Have you been on an adventure?
- Yeah.
- Where's you go?
- I was just playing.
- What were you playing?
- I was playing with my doll,
but she tried to take her.
She's mine.
No sharing.
She's mine.
- Who tried to take her?
- Lilu.
- Don't, don't play these games.
Not now, Lilu.
What happened that night?
Was there a man there?
Tell me, who was it?
Does daddy know about this?
- I don't want to talk about Michael.
I can't!
- Hi, babe.
- Hey to you.
- What have you been doing?
- Nothing much.
- Is everything okay?
- Don't worry too much, honey.
Sometimes my resting bitch face
just means I'm resting.
- Seriously.
- You tell me.
- What?
What's going on?
Is Lilu okay?
- She's in her room.
Don't worry, she's
keeping your little pact.
- Pact?
- Did you think I didn't know?
What exactly do you girls gossip about
in your little sewing circle?
You're up to something.
Where have you been?
- What are those for?
- They'll keep us safe.
- Daddy?
- Yes, sweetheart?
- What if the cameras
can't see the threat?
- Hey, Frank.
We need to talk.
- Yeah.
I was just gonna check in on you.
I saw you the other night.
- I saw you the other night.
- Yeah.
You okay?
- Why are you so interested?
- Hey man, I was just a little concerned.
- Well concern
yourself with something else.
- Excuse me?
- I said leave my family alone.
- Look, man-
Fuck!
You got me right in the eye!
- Shit.
- The fuck do you think you're doing?
- Don't you touch her!
Michael, take her inside.
Michael!
Come on!
- The hell is going on with your husband?
I got a mind to call the cops.
- What's your name?
- Frank.
- You're the maintenance guy, right?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
I heard you working next door.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
Look, my husband is under
a lot of stress right now.
- Yeah, well we're all
under a lot of stress, lady.
- We lost one of our daughters.
- She's missing?
- She's not coming back.
- Oh.
Shit.
I'm really sorry.
- Look, just, uh, just
let this slide, okay?
- Okay.
He's pretty crazy.
Are you okay?
- I'm fine.
Thanks.
- You sure?
- Come here.
Let me clean it.
Come here.
- No.
- I'm sorry you had to see that.
I'm so sorry you got hurt.
- Why was that man fighting you?
- It must have been so scary for you.
I'm gonna protect you from him.
- I'm not scared of him.
- Lilu.
- The colonial veneer
has shrink wrapped our world.
Rows of high rise apartments,
hundreds of families filed indoors.
The city sterile, empty,
filled with not but shadows.
It breeds sound, the
pulsing, pounding rhythm.
The earth is a monstrous beast
clad in concrete murmur.
Its inhabitants parasites
infesting its surface.
And here I stand, hermetically sealed
in this glass box, silently suffocating.
- Is everything okay?
- I'm worried about Michael.
- Really?
- He's paranoid and erratic.
He's not been himself.
- What do you mean?
He's a paragon of reason.
He can be a dork, but he's a sweet dork.
He's nothing if not rational.
- You don't understand.
He set up surveillance cameras
all over the apartment.
He's probably watching us now.
- What?
No he didn't.
That's crazy.
- Yeah, I can't trust him.
I think he's lying to me.
- Honey, everyone's lying to you.
In fact, I'd go so far as to say
that every good marriage is based on lies.
- What?
- Yeah, think about it.
Without lying, could you
have even gotten together?
If when you met you had
been totally honest,
what would you have said?
- I'm-I'm vulnerable?
Unstable.
Trying my best just to
cope with my studies
and my condition.
Need help.
- Not super seductive.
What would he have said?
- I want to feel like I'm
in control of my life,
and-and your naivety and instability
makes me feel like I've got it together.
- What a charmer.
Now what would you say to him
if you were being honest now?
- You're scaring me.
- Of course he's affected.
You can't expect him not to be.
- No, but it's not him.
He's not the man that I love.
- Look honey, this is tough.
It's really fucking tough.
But you still have a beautiful daughter
and a loving husband.
- You don't understand-
- However
imperfect, you have them,
and I'm so fucking jealous.
I know you're in pain,
but I'm still jealous.
Of Michael.
Of Lilu, of you.
I'm jealous that you have each other.
You know I always wanted a child.
And despite everything that was said,
Rob would have stayed
if I could have had one.
It's gonna get tougher
before it gets better, kiddo.
So buckle down.
You can get through this.
I couldn't.
But you can.
- It's okay, honey.
You go to bed, okay?
I'll be in later.
Just wanna talk to your father.
Hmm?
- I don't think you
should be drinking that.
I'm worried about you.
- You worry entirely too much.
It's been too long.
I'm sorry, I can't.
- It's okay.
It's okay.
I understand.
- I can't make this work.
- It's too soon, honey.
We can make it work.
Just give it time, baby.
- No, it's getting worse.
I heard you.
In the bathroom.
- I'm sorry.
I was on the phone with Marie.
I shouldn't have, I'm sorry.
- I wish it was the truth, but it's not.
It's not.
Look at me.
You know deep down it's not.
Sweetheart, you're relapsing.
It's returned to you.
And I feel it, it's in Lilu.
It's okay, it's gonna be okay.
- Fuck you!
- It's okay!
- Fuck you!
- It's gonna be okay!
- Really, fuck you!
Get away from me!
I need to get out of here!
- No, Mari!
You haven't been taking your medication.
- You can't lock us in here.
We're not your fucking prisoners!
- I put it in your food.
You're gonna calm down very shortly.
It's okay.
Shh.
It's okay, breathe.
Breathe.
Just breathe.
- I can't believe you did that!
- Breathe, shh.
- You don't control me!
- You know you are.
I'm doing this for us.
For you.
You don't wanna run away.
It's okay.
Shh.
It's okay, shh.
I won't let this happen again.
No.
No, no.
Shh.
You're having another episode, yes.
Breathe, breathe.
Yes.
It'll pass.
All things in time.
- Leave it on the ground.
- Uh,
it's already been paid for.
- Tip.
- Thanks.
- Sit properly, sweetheart.
Come on, sit.
- Water?
I want apple juice.
- No.
Be good.
Feel up to eating?
Drink your drink.
Drink this.
Pizza will be there when you're ready.
- Yuck.
This water tastes funny.
- Just drink it, sweetheart.
It's good for you.
Baby.
Marion.
- Open.
- Now.
- I love you.
- Shit.
Lilu.
Sweetheart.
It's okay.
It's okay.
Come here.
It's okay.
Come here.
Give me the knife.
- No.
- It's okay, come here.
- No.
- Give me the knife, sweetheart.
- No.
- Lilu.
Give me the knife.
I'm serious, there's someone in the house.
Give me the knife now.
Lilu.
Lilu!
- Help me!
- Shh, shh.
Quiet.
Don't say a word.
What are you looking for?
I can get it for you.
We have money.
- Oh.
I don't want your money.
Mm.
Ooh.
Mm.
You tried to control me,
to contain me, but I can't be tamed.
- This is a private residence.
You're trespassing.
And the police are on their way.
- No they're not.
It's just you.
You and the girls.
- How did you find us?
- You forget.
I live here.
Lilu.
- Mom!
Mom!
Wake up!
Mom!
- Who are you?
- I think you know.
- Mom!
- Nothing?
I am the rage of abuse.
I am the wrath of generations passed.
One known unto god.
You pretend I don't exist,
but you need me.
I allow you to subjugate,
exploit, murder, and forget.
You reject me.
You forget me.
You repress me.
But I cannot be denied!
- It wasn't me.
- Why didn't you stop me?
Why didn't you save me?
You!
You are to blame.
You're a murderer.
- No.
No, it wasn't me.
It wasn't.
It was you.
You killed her.
I love her.
I love her.
I would have done anything for her!
- Yeah.
And you did, didn't you?
Now you've forgotten the truth.
- No.
Shut up!
- You've concealed it behind
a veil of rationality.
You've rewritten the past.
It's time you came clean, Michael.
Take responsibility for
the blood you've spilled.
You are the threat.
You have killed, and forgotten.
And you will time and time again.
Think hard.
Think, think, think, think.
Do you not know the atrocities
caused in your name?
- We had a deal!
- You've turned on your family.
Your own blood.
- Michael?
You're scaring me.
Put the knife down.
Put the knife down!
- Daddy, no!
- Your anger's going nowhere, Mikey!
Turn it on yourself, and you'll be strong!
But once you-
You lost control, Mikey.
You're acting crazy.
When they see it,
you've lost their trust.
You've poisoned your
own family against you.
- Daddy.
- You know what happens
next, don't you Mikey?
We've been here before.
- Listen, please.
Just leave my family alone.
They're innocent.
- Innocent?
We're not innocent.
Not us.
Not them.
You don't have to go too far back
before we're all murderers.
- For the love of God-
- The love of God?
Who's God?
For the love of God,
we killed you.
- You're not my family.
- And we're all family.
One big fucked up family
on this ball of dirt.
- No, no!
Leave her alone!
- You're not my family.
You're not my child.
You're not my kind, you're not civilized!
You parasites, suckling at my teat.
You think you're entitled to care?
To love?
You can't live in my home.
Go back and die in your home!
- Leave her alone!
- You!
You think you're better than me?
You think you're rational?
You think you're in control?
You have no control, Michael!
I am you.
And you are me.
You can't keep your conscience clean.
Take back the power you deny yourself.
Take back the power you crave so rich.
It is your birth right.
- Michael, no!
- Don't be anesthetized
by abstraction, Michael.
Feel it.
Now wrap your fingers around your neck.
Yes.
Squeeze the life from her.
You have no choice.
You were born into it.
We all were.
Our history is a bloody one.
You can deny, and you can protest.
But we all have blood
on our hands!
- Police!
Open up!
Open up right now!
Stand back!
We're coming in!
- What are you drawing there, sweetie?
Are you sure you're okay?
You don't have to be here.
- I do.
- Okay.
- I'm ready to speak to you.
- You are?
- I want to tell you my secret.
- What is it?
- I've seen strange things.
- What sort of things?
- I'm not sure what's
real, and what's not.
You believe me, don't you mummy?
What are you thinking, mummy?
- I don't know.
- It's my fault, isn't it?
It's my fault she's dead.
- Look at my eyes, honey.
I don't flinch.
None of this is your fault.
Tell me you understand.
None of it.
- It's not my fault.
- That's right.
- Lilith and I still speak.
- Lilith's gone.
You know that.
- I know, it's not real,
but I don't want to lose her.
You think I'm crazy?
Don't give up on me, mummy.
- Do-do you remember when
we lost your Aunt Marie?
I still speak to her.
If you're crazy, honey, then I'm crazy.
We could be crazy together.
It's gonna be okay, honey.
Don't worry.
- You can see him now.
- Is he dangerous?
- We don't think so.
He's calm and rational.
He's listening to his therapist.
He's very respectful.
- Lilu, please wait here, okay?
Hmm?
- I want to come in.
- You can, I promise.
I just need to make sure it's safe.
Hmm?
- Okay.
- Mr. Addison, you have a visitor.
- How are you?
How have you been treated?
- Where's Lilu?
- She's outside.
- She doesn't wanna see me?
- She does.
What have the doctors said?
Have you been diagnosed?
- They don't, they don't say much.
They don't want me
pandering to their process.
- Have you learned anything?
- I've had lots of time to think.
Reflect.
- And?
- Fragments, images, phrases,
return to me, echo around in
my mind in ceaseless circles.
You said something the other night,
you said, um,
"History is a nightmare from which
we are trying to awake."
Was that from Homer?
- Joyce.
- Ah.
Yeah.
That little phrase, it bore into my soul.
History, our-our story,
this is a nightmare from which I've
so desperately been trying to awake.
- Oh honey, it's not.
I think Herzen said it best.
"History is the
autobiography of a madman."
We must stem the flow of blood.
It's up to us.
The first step is to be
honest about who we are
and what we've done.
What happened with you that night?
- I wasn't myself.
- Who were you?
- I thought it was Frank.
That night in the apartment.
But it wasn't, it was,
it was me.
I was him.
I've been him before.
I don't know how many times.
- So, so it was your alter ego who-
- Disassociated
personality state.
- Who strangled me?
- I didn't know what I was doing.
- And was it him, or was it you
who thought I was crazy?
- I'm only now coming
to terms with my wrongs,
and I would grovel, and I would apologize,
but I don't deserve forgiveness.
- When did this begin?
- I'm sorry.
Remember when we first met?
I was having a hard time
grappling with my past.
- We both were.
- Something fractured in me then.
My ghosts-
- Ghosts?
- I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry, my love.
The delusions.
They're all mine.
It's called folie-
- Folie a deux.
- Contagious psychosis.
It's a madness shared by two.
I blamed you, I took
advantage of your condition
to hide the truth.
The same time I hid it from myself.
But it was me.
It always has been.
- No, it's not.
It's-it's not your fault.
You didn't know what
you were doing, right?
- No.
But you can't trust me.
I-I can't even trust myself.
- It wasn't you.
It was your condition.
- Marion, stop.
You were right.
I need to be responsible for my actions.
- You need help, Michael.
When you're released,
I'll take care of you.
We'll be a family again.
We'll make it work.
I still love you.
- You don't know me.
- If anyone does, I do.
- Then no one does.
This is it.
Can't you see this?
This is the shared delusion.
- What?
- All of it.
Everything we believe.
- We have to work with what we have.
Do what we can with what we know.
- We know nothing but lies.
What are we running from?
- The murder of our child.
- There is no murderer.
- What?
- There is no murderer.
- Why are you saying that?
- I've come to a decision.
You're gonna hate me.
- What are you talking about?
- You're never gonna
be able to forgive me,
but I need you to know.
I did what I thought was right.
I did my best.
But my best was tragically bad.
There's no going back from this.
I just, I owe you at least
the truth, as I know it.
I thought Lilu was ill.
She had symptoms of schizophrenia.
She was self harming.
She was paranoid, delusional.
I should have known.
She lied to me.
I gave her an antipsychotic.
I should have known.
It was Lilith.
I am so sorry that I hid-
Hid Lilu's symptoms from you.
I was a fool.
I was afraid that you'd
be overwhelmed with guilt,
and you would once again
succumb to your own condition.
I'm, I know-
I know better now.
I know it's too late.
There's nothing I can do.
I should never have tried
to treat her on my own.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I hid it from you.
I hid it from me.
And I convinced Lilu-
of the same.
Lilu?
Sweetheart?
Are you out there?
Honey, I need to tell you something.
Oh, please.
I need you to know,
I need you to understand.
Please, baby.
- I'm not a baby.
- Oh.
I know.
I know you're not, honey.
You've been through
more in your little life
than most adults.
You've had to grow up so fast.
I'm sorry.
I need you to make me a promise.
Can you do that?
Promise me you'll look after mom.
It's okay.
It's okay.
I'm to blame for this insanity.
It's me.
It's all me.
Shh.
It's okay.
It's okay.
I'm gonna bring you to it.
Don't look.
Don't look.
Don't look.
No, let's calm down.
Calm down.
Shh, shh.
Calm down.
It's okay, it's okay.
It's not your fault.
No.
It was all me.
It was all me.
I'm to blame for this cycle
of insanity right now.
I'm sorry, sweetheart.
I'm sorry.
I did this to you.
I'm sorry, little baby.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Lilith.
- Lilu!
Lilu!
Baby, are you okay?
Lilu!
Lilu!
Lilith.
Lilu.
- Any change?
- I'm really sorry.
It's not a good time.
- And so when would be a good time?
- Not now.
- Come on, sweetie!
- I know you.
Yeah.
I know you.
That's not yours.
- "Behind every man now
alive stand 30 ghosts,
for that is the ratio by which the dead
outnumber the living."
That was true 50 years
ago when he wrote it.
Our numbers have swelled to such
that there are now but 10
ghosts haunting each of us,
most of which have long
since been forgotten.
I love this woman.
She knows me better than I know myself.
I have my regrets,
moments passed that I wish I could relive.
Lilith, my heart,
in my blood, in my mind.
This city is sterile, empty,
filled with shadows.
It breeds sound.
A pulsing, pounding rhythm.
The earth is a monstrous beast,
clad in concrete armor.
Its inhabitants, parasites,
infesting its surface.
And here I stand, hermetically sealed
in this glass box, silently suffocating.
If Einstein said that, and
I don't think that he did.
He didn't.
But if he did, that's not what he meant.
What Einstein meant was
that people are stupid.
The idea that we only use
10% of our brain is a myth,
and that's been proven time
and time again in the lab.
It was the self-help gurus
who perpetuated this myth
by selling people on their potential.
You're not that bright now,
but think about how smart
you'd be if you bought our products.
And then your new age spiritualists jumped
on that band wagon to sell people
on the idea that the
other 90% of their brain
was used for psychic activity,
like astral travel, seeing ghosts,
visions, that stuff.
Einstein was frustrated
with people's stupidity,
and one thing he did say
is that the difference
between genius and stupidity
is genius has its limits.
- Stupidity knows no bounds.
- Exactly.
Einstein was making a comment
on the unwillingness of people
to think for themselves.
The irony is that people
took that as truth
instead of thinking for themselves.
- Yeah, but that's not what I'm saying.
I'm just, I'm worried about Lilu,
the damage this has caused her.
- To what, her brain?
- To her psyche.
It doesn't help that we're on the run.
Wouldn't it be best to keep things
as close to normal as possible?
- No.
No, we discussed this.
There is no normal, not anymore.
No phone, no internet, nothing traceable.
If you try and contact
anyone, we could be found.
- Honey, breakfast is ready!
- The important thing is that we're safe.
Morning, sweetheart.
You liking your room?
Did you sleep okay?
Sit down for breakfast.
Here you go.
- There's a problem with your AC?
- Yeah.
- You here on holidays?
I'm Frank.
- Michael.
- Michael.
Yeah.
Conrads are never here.
They're always renting the place out.
Interesting taste in art, hey?
You here with the family?
I'm the caretaker here, so.
If you need anything, you
can contact me directly.
Here's my card.
I got fingers in a lot of pies.
Use that one card for everything.
Let's take a look at this thing, shall we?
You here for long?
- How secure is this building?
- Ah, it's pretty tight.
It's not your unit.
All looks fine.
Might be the central air.
I'll have to check it out.
- Ever been any break-ins up here?
- No, no, no, no.
Whose place you trying to get into?
It's not really possible.
I mean, even if you did get in,
you can't get to the upper floors,
or into any of the rooms.
And if you tried, you'd
get caught on tape.
There was this one guy.
Ex-boyfriend tried to break
into the apartment next door.
He tailed someone in, then
got stuck in the stairwell.
Eventually he had to make
his way out the bottom.
Crazy thing is later on they made up.
She let him back in.
And when she did, he killed her.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Nothing we could do to prevent it.
You know, once you're in, you're in.
- So who has access to the keys?
- Every tenant's
got a swipe of the key,
so they've got access to the entrance,
elevator access to the public areas,
and their level of residence.
- But no one has access to
this apartment except us?
- Yeah, no one but you.
You're the only ones with a key.
- But you have keys to all the rooms.
- In case of an emergency.
Yeah.
I've got a spare.
Look, if you've got any issues,
you just give me a call, all right?
Yeah.
- Honey, will you come give me a hand?
Sort these in pairs, please.
So.
Are we talking?
Are you talking?
You talkin' to me?
You talkin' to me?
You talkin' to me?
There's no one else here.
You must be talkin' to me.
No?
Nothing?
- Mom, I can't.
- What, baby?
- I can't tell the truth.
- Honey.
You can lie to me, but only if you tell me
what I want to hear.
Just throw it out, honey.
Lilu.
- What are you doing in here?
I know this is hard on you.
It's hard on mommy and me as well.
I may not be able to change the situation,
but I'm a pretty good listener.
You can talk to me, you know that, right?
Look what I found.
Do you want to come out and draw together?
Do you want me to leave them here for you?
It's okay, baby.
- I'm not a baby.
- I know.
I'm sorry.
- Mom wouldn't like my drawings.
- Don't be too hard on your mom, okay?
I'll worry about her.
It's not a healthy way to treat
a psychological condition.
- Do you really know that?
I mean, normal's relative, right?
In many cultures, people hear voices
and see things that we can't explain.
- Neither can they.
- But they do.
Not by, not by our
beliefs, but by their own.
Look, the Maasai people
of Kenya, for example.
They-they interpret voices
as that of ghosts or God,
or a guardian spirit.
They don't take drugs.
They live with the voices.
They befriend them.
And their beliefs protect them.
- Yeah.
It's easy to think that belief
in the supernatural protects us.
I mean, most of the
world thinks the things
they don't understand,
the things that they fear,
are being governed by a god of some sort.
- Yeah, but the Maasai people,
they believe that they're
talking to a guardian.
- That may make them feel better about it.
It doesn't make it true.
Ghosts and gods are
not here to protect us.
We invented them to explain our psychosis.
- There's not much in here, hon.
- I'll get takeout.
- Hon.
- What's with radio silence?
- I'm sorry for the dead air.
We just had to get away.
- And to where might that be?
- I'm sorry, soldier.
You don't have the clearance.
- Top secret?
Is this the time to be playing spy games?
Well, while you've been
away on your mission,
5-0 has been asking questions here.
- I don't trust the police
enough to really handle it.
They're not helping.
They can't keep us safe.
- Safe?
From who?
What really happened?
- Babe, if I wanted an inquisition,
I'd have called the Pope.
Or Mom.
Maybe I should have.
I feel like I'm 12 and I just want her
to stroke my hair and tell me
everything is gonna be okay.
- When did she ever do that?
- I know, right?
- You need to talk to someone.
- I called you, didn't I?
- Is Michael there?
- No, he's out.
And I know what you're thinking.
We made this decision together.
We made the decision for our family.
For what's left of it.
- How is Lilu?
Is she safe?
- She is, but I worry for her.
She's in shock.
- She needs time.
- She needs time.
- She needs
time with her favorite-
- Only.
- Best aunt.
- I know what's best for my daughter.
I better go.
- Marion, I wanna
know what's going on.
The truth.
You need to be honest with yourself.
Promise to stay in touch.
- I promise.
Don't touch me!
- Shh!
- Don't you touch me!
- It's okay, it's okay.
It's just a dream.
It's okay.
It's a dream, it's a dream.
You're awake now.
Let it go, let it go.
That's it.
You can forget it.
It's okay, it's okay.
You can forget it.
- Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?
You'd prefer me easy with no history.
My history is a nightmare
from which I'm trying to awaken.
- It's all my fault.
- It's my fault.
I should have been there for her.
- There's nothing you could do.
And you were a great mom,
our great mother.
- A mother who lost one child to die,
and the other to live as a ghost.
- I'm to blame for all
of this, sweetheart.
It's my responsibility
to protect my family.
I failed you.
And I won't fail you again.
I won't, I won't let
you suffer my mistakes.
- If that's true,
why do I feel this unbearable guilt?
- It's part of a natural grieving process.
- Is it natural for me to despise you?
- From time to time.
The feeling itself is not wrong.
- God!
Don't you handle me, you asshole!
I'm not your patient!
You're not a real psychiatrist.
Those who don't do,
those who don't, they preach.
That's what you do, don't you?
Preach, preach, preach, preach.
Singing the praise of
your intellectual gods.
- Daddy.
Does mommy know?
Is that why she's angry?
- Know what, sweetheart?
- My secret.
- Your secret?
- The things I'm seeing.
I can't explain.
Monsters.
- In your dreams?
It's just your imagination, Lilu.
You know who has control
of your imagination?
You do.
So the next time those
monsters come for you,
you know you have the power to stop them.
- Please don't tell mummy my secret.
- Your secret's safe with me, sweetheart.
- I just wanted to take the edge off.
- Just say it.
- Come on, I can see
you're about to burst.
- You know my opinion.
- Yeah, but you're
dying to tell me anyway.
- You know the risks.
- Get it out, you'll feel so much better.
- For someone with your condition.
- There you go.
Like a smart ass bomb that
seeks to hate the buzz.
- Buzz-seeking missile that's
guaranteed to kill the buzz.
- What's the buzz?
- Nothing, honey.
Just something your father killed.
- Oh honey, no.
Mommy is just being silly.
- Hey you know what night it is tonight?
- Halloween?
- Wanna do something fun?
- Yes.
- No trick or treating.
- No, Lilu's stronger than you know.
- No leaving the apartment.
- Now who's killing the buzz?
- Okay, you wanna be a zombie?
- Yes.
- All right, come here.
Put your arms down by your side.
Now I'm gonna hold them and you push.
Push outwards, like you
wanna reach the sky.
Push.
Push as hard as you can
for as long as you can.
Come on.
Can you feel it?
- Yes.
- What happened to my little girl?
The girl I loved is no longer in there.
- I can't push anymore.
- Okay, relax.
- Whoa!
- She's a mindless zombie.
- It's cool, but it isn't scary.
- Oh, you think you're
a big girl now, do you?
- I'm a woman.
- Not yet, sweetheart.
Please.
Not yet, give me a few more years.
Yeah?
All right, you want something
scary, something terrifying.
If you're ready, I'll show
you Caputo's illusion.
- Caputo?
- Okay, I want you to
stare deep into your eyes,
and behold the terrifying demons
that will arise from the depths
to possess your soul.
- My mouth.
It disappeared.
- It's okay, sweetheart.
It's just an illusion.
That's called the Troxler effect.
See, when you stare at
something that doesn't change,
your mind eventually ignores it,
and it seems to disappear altogether.
Your mind is a slippery beast, my dear.
Things that seem so real
often are not at all.
It's okay, Lilu.
You're safe with me.
Try it again.
- Please, fill this out.
I'm sorry to tell you that
we only have a few minutes.
So what seems to be the trouble?
- The trouble?
Sorry, what?
- Oh, it can be terribly disorienting.
I'm afraid you've died.
- You're-
- Yeah, I appear to
everyone as themselves.
A bit easier with a familiar face.
Saves time.
There's never enough time.
You know how it is.
Five minutes per patient.
- Wait about that, aren't
you on the present?
- Oh, silly spread, yes.
and there's a lot of people to see,
and very little time to
address their issues.
- And we've only got five minutes?
- Oh, three, actually.
I'm running a little late.
- Oh, yeah.
So I should call you god?
- Well look, I know you
don't actually believe
in a god, so perhaps it might be better
if you regard me as the
manifestation of consciousness
within a singular spacetime continuum.
- Uh, god's fine.
- Fine.
- So what are you?
- Oh, you'd be surprised how many people
wanna know about me,
and how few wanna know about themselves.
- How did I die?
- You fell asleep behind the wheel.
Well, you don't have much time.
- I just lost my life, and
now I'm running out of time
in the afterlife?
I thought heaven was
supposed to last an eternity.
- Well, that would be hell.
- I regret my inattention.
Not paying enough
attention to my patients,
to my children.
To my wife.
To myself.
- Well, that's what this is.
Time for yourself.
- That's heaven?
- What else is there but a
fleeting moment of awareness?
What else can we do with our lives
than appreciate our time?
- Well.
Thank you for your time.
- And that's all we have.
- Time, is it?
- I had a nightmare last night.
Felt trapped, entombed, in the dream.
Couldn't wake.
What did you dream?
- Nothing.
At least nothing I can recall.
- Are you sure?
- I don't know.
I'm so tired.
I blink and time just disappears.
Micro sleeps.
Time passes.
I don't feel rested at all.
- Last night you had dreams.
Last night you had dreams.
- What are you trying to say, Marion?
- "And the desert creatures
shall meet with the wolves.
The wild goat shall cry to its kind.
Yes, Lilith shall settle there,
and shall find herself a resting place."
- You heard those words?
- You spoke them.
- What?
- Isiah 34:14.
I looked it up.
- I was quoting the Bible?
- In Hebrew.
- I don't know what you heard,
but it wasn't me.
- It wasn't you that came from your mouth?
- Not from your mind.
This is not dissimilar to
how it began last time.
- I can't talk to you right now.
Give me a minute.
To be continued.
Okay, we need to talk.
What's going on with you?
- Nothing.
- I need you to be honest with me.
You need to be honest with yourself.
What are you hiding?
- I am honest with you.
- I mean what's that behind your back?
- It's just some drawings.
- Lilu's?
- They're just scribbles.
- May I?
Michael?
- I know how this looks to you,
but it's not uncommon for
children who have gone
through a traumatic experience to express-
- How it looks to me?
Since you're the expert, tell
me how does it look to me?
- I'm sorry.
I didn't mean for it to sound that way.
- How did you mean for it to sound?
- Hey.
Hey.
Can we not do this?
Okay, we're on the same team here.
- I need a smoke.
I can't take this shit any longer.
- You can't take
his shit any longer?
- I don't know what's going on with him.
- Back it up, honey.
Start from the start.
- Before this Orwellian nightmare.
I had a life, a beautiful life.
- You had the perfect life.
You were the perfect wife
with your perfect husband,
and your two insanely angelic girls.
And something happened.
- Something happened?
Let's call it what it is.
It's not something, it's the
fucking murder of my child.
My beautiful girl.
Poisoned.
- Why run?
- We had to go.
They suspected us.
- They thought you killed her?
- They needed someone to blame,
and I was an easy target.
Mentally unstable mother kills her own.
They're demonizing me in the press.
- But why run?
- We didn't, we were chased out.
- Chased by who?
It's just you.
- It's just you?
- It's just you.
- It's just me.
Honey, I'm sorry.
You were right.
I need to trust you.
No more smoking.
Just, I can't trust myself right now.
- It's okay.
We're all under a lot
of stress, all of us.
The police, the press.
I feel like I haven't slept all week.
Been riding on adrenaline,
like we're wild men living on the Savanna
and watching over the two
of you while you sleep,
waiting for predators to attack.
- I want to trust you.
- You can.
You know that I would do anything for you.
- I just can't
trust anything right now.
- You can trust me.
- Hey.
- Lilu, coming out for breakfast?
Where have you been hiding?
I know what you'd like.
No?
Oui?
If you don't want it, you need to tell me.
- No.
- What's that?
- No.
- Is your voice hiding too?
I can't hear you.
- I said no.
- What's that?
- No!
- I can't hear you!
- No!
- There she is, there's my girl.
Puts a little pink in those pretty cheeks
of yours, doesn't it?
I haven't seen you in so long.
It feels like forever.
Have you been on an adventure?
- Yeah.
- Where's you go?
- I was just playing.
- What were you playing?
- I was playing with my doll,
but she tried to take her.
She's mine.
No sharing.
She's mine.
- Who tried to take her?
- Lilu.
- Don't, don't play these games.
Not now, Lilu.
What happened that night?
Was there a man there?
Tell me, who was it?
Does daddy know about this?
- I don't want to talk about Michael.
I can't!
- Hi, babe.
- Hey to you.
- What have you been doing?
- Nothing much.
- Is everything okay?
- Don't worry too much, honey.
Sometimes my resting bitch face
just means I'm resting.
- Seriously.
- You tell me.
- What?
What's going on?
Is Lilu okay?
- She's in her room.
Don't worry, she's
keeping your little pact.
- Pact?
- Did you think I didn't know?
What exactly do you girls gossip about
in your little sewing circle?
You're up to something.
Where have you been?
- What are those for?
- They'll keep us safe.
- Daddy?
- Yes, sweetheart?
- What if the cameras
can't see the threat?
- Hey, Frank.
We need to talk.
- Yeah.
I was just gonna check in on you.
I saw you the other night.
- I saw you the other night.
- Yeah.
You okay?
- Why are you so interested?
- Hey man, I was just a little concerned.
- Well concern
yourself with something else.
- Excuse me?
- I said leave my family alone.
- Look, man-
Fuck!
You got me right in the eye!
- Shit.
- The fuck do you think you're doing?
- Don't you touch her!
Michael, take her inside.
Michael!
Come on!
- The hell is going on with your husband?
I got a mind to call the cops.
- What's your name?
- Frank.
- You're the maintenance guy, right?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
I heard you working next door.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
Look, my husband is under
a lot of stress right now.
- Yeah, well we're all
under a lot of stress, lady.
- We lost one of our daughters.
- She's missing?
- She's not coming back.
- Oh.
Shit.
I'm really sorry.
- Look, just, uh, just
let this slide, okay?
- Okay.
He's pretty crazy.
Are you okay?
- I'm fine.
Thanks.
- You sure?
- Come here.
Let me clean it.
Come here.
- No.
- I'm sorry you had to see that.
I'm so sorry you got hurt.
- Why was that man fighting you?
- It must have been so scary for you.
I'm gonna protect you from him.
- I'm not scared of him.
- Lilu.
- The colonial veneer
has shrink wrapped our world.
Rows of high rise apartments,
hundreds of families filed indoors.
The city sterile, empty,
filled with not but shadows.
It breeds sound, the
pulsing, pounding rhythm.
The earth is a monstrous beast
clad in concrete murmur.
Its inhabitants parasites
infesting its surface.
And here I stand, hermetically sealed
in this glass box, silently suffocating.
- Is everything okay?
- I'm worried about Michael.
- Really?
- He's paranoid and erratic.
He's not been himself.
- What do you mean?
He's a paragon of reason.
He can be a dork, but he's a sweet dork.
He's nothing if not rational.
- You don't understand.
He set up surveillance cameras
all over the apartment.
He's probably watching us now.
- What?
No he didn't.
That's crazy.
- Yeah, I can't trust him.
I think he's lying to me.
- Honey, everyone's lying to you.
In fact, I'd go so far as to say
that every good marriage is based on lies.
- What?
- Yeah, think about it.
Without lying, could you
have even gotten together?
If when you met you had
been totally honest,
what would you have said?
- I'm-I'm vulnerable?
Unstable.
Trying my best just to
cope with my studies
and my condition.
Need help.
- Not super seductive.
What would he have said?
- I want to feel like I'm
in control of my life,
and-and your naivety and instability
makes me feel like I've got it together.
- What a charmer.
Now what would you say to him
if you were being honest now?
- You're scaring me.
- Of course he's affected.
You can't expect him not to be.
- No, but it's not him.
He's not the man that I love.
- Look honey, this is tough.
It's really fucking tough.
But you still have a beautiful daughter
and a loving husband.
- You don't understand-
- However
imperfect, you have them,
and I'm so fucking jealous.
I know you're in pain,
but I'm still jealous.
Of Michael.
Of Lilu, of you.
I'm jealous that you have each other.
You know I always wanted a child.
And despite everything that was said,
Rob would have stayed
if I could have had one.
It's gonna get tougher
before it gets better, kiddo.
So buckle down.
You can get through this.
I couldn't.
But you can.
- It's okay, honey.
You go to bed, okay?
I'll be in later.
Just wanna talk to your father.
Hmm?
- I don't think you
should be drinking that.
I'm worried about you.
- You worry entirely too much.
It's been too long.
I'm sorry, I can't.
- It's okay.
It's okay.
I understand.
- I can't make this work.
- It's too soon, honey.
We can make it work.
Just give it time, baby.
- No, it's getting worse.
I heard you.
In the bathroom.
- I'm sorry.
I was on the phone with Marie.
I shouldn't have, I'm sorry.
- I wish it was the truth, but it's not.
It's not.
Look at me.
You know deep down it's not.
Sweetheart, you're relapsing.
It's returned to you.
And I feel it, it's in Lilu.
It's okay, it's gonna be okay.
- Fuck you!
- It's okay!
- Fuck you!
- It's gonna be okay!
- Really, fuck you!
Get away from me!
I need to get out of here!
- No, Mari!
You haven't been taking your medication.
- You can't lock us in here.
We're not your fucking prisoners!
- I put it in your food.
You're gonna calm down very shortly.
It's okay.
Shh.
It's okay, breathe.
Breathe.
Just breathe.
- I can't believe you did that!
- Breathe, shh.
- You don't control me!
- You know you are.
I'm doing this for us.
For you.
You don't wanna run away.
It's okay.
Shh.
It's okay, shh.
I won't let this happen again.
No.
No, no.
Shh.
You're having another episode, yes.
Breathe, breathe.
Yes.
It'll pass.
All things in time.
- Leave it on the ground.
- Uh,
it's already been paid for.
- Tip.
- Thanks.
- Sit properly, sweetheart.
Come on, sit.
- Water?
I want apple juice.
- No.
Be good.
Feel up to eating?
Drink your drink.
Drink this.
Pizza will be there when you're ready.
- Yuck.
This water tastes funny.
- Just drink it, sweetheart.
It's good for you.
Baby.
Marion.
- Open.
- Now.
- I love you.
- Shit.
Lilu.
Sweetheart.
It's okay.
It's okay.
Come here.
It's okay.
Come here.
Give me the knife.
- No.
- It's okay, come here.
- No.
- Give me the knife, sweetheart.
- No.
- Lilu.
Give me the knife.
I'm serious, there's someone in the house.
Give me the knife now.
Lilu.
Lilu!
- Help me!
- Shh, shh.
Quiet.
Don't say a word.
What are you looking for?
I can get it for you.
We have money.
- Oh.
I don't want your money.
Mm.
Ooh.
Mm.
You tried to control me,
to contain me, but I can't be tamed.
- This is a private residence.
You're trespassing.
And the police are on their way.
- No they're not.
It's just you.
You and the girls.
- How did you find us?
- You forget.
I live here.
Lilu.
- Mom!
Mom!
Wake up!
Mom!
- Who are you?
- I think you know.
- Mom!
- Nothing?
I am the rage of abuse.
I am the wrath of generations passed.
One known unto god.
You pretend I don't exist,
but you need me.
I allow you to subjugate,
exploit, murder, and forget.
You reject me.
You forget me.
You repress me.
But I cannot be denied!
- It wasn't me.
- Why didn't you stop me?
Why didn't you save me?
You!
You are to blame.
You're a murderer.
- No.
No, it wasn't me.
It wasn't.
It was you.
You killed her.
I love her.
I love her.
I would have done anything for her!
- Yeah.
And you did, didn't you?
Now you've forgotten the truth.
- No.
Shut up!
- You've concealed it behind
a veil of rationality.
You've rewritten the past.
It's time you came clean, Michael.
Take responsibility for
the blood you've spilled.
You are the threat.
You have killed, and forgotten.
And you will time and time again.
Think hard.
Think, think, think, think.
Do you not know the atrocities
caused in your name?
- We had a deal!
- You've turned on your family.
Your own blood.
- Michael?
You're scaring me.
Put the knife down.
Put the knife down!
- Daddy, no!
- Your anger's going nowhere, Mikey!
Turn it on yourself, and you'll be strong!
But once you-
You lost control, Mikey.
You're acting crazy.
When they see it,
you've lost their trust.
You've poisoned your
own family against you.
- Daddy.
- You know what happens
next, don't you Mikey?
We've been here before.
- Listen, please.
Just leave my family alone.
They're innocent.
- Innocent?
We're not innocent.
Not us.
Not them.
You don't have to go too far back
before we're all murderers.
- For the love of God-
- The love of God?
Who's God?
For the love of God,
we killed you.
- You're not my family.
- And we're all family.
One big fucked up family
on this ball of dirt.
- No, no!
Leave her alone!
- You're not my family.
You're not my child.
You're not my kind, you're not civilized!
You parasites, suckling at my teat.
You think you're entitled to care?
To love?
You can't live in my home.
Go back and die in your home!
- Leave her alone!
- You!
You think you're better than me?
You think you're rational?
You think you're in control?
You have no control, Michael!
I am you.
And you are me.
You can't keep your conscience clean.
Take back the power you deny yourself.
Take back the power you crave so rich.
It is your birth right.
- Michael, no!
- Don't be anesthetized
by abstraction, Michael.
Feel it.
Now wrap your fingers around your neck.
Yes.
Squeeze the life from her.
You have no choice.
You were born into it.
We all were.
Our history is a bloody one.
You can deny, and you can protest.
But we all have blood
on our hands!
- Police!
Open up!
Open up right now!
Stand back!
We're coming in!
- What are you drawing there, sweetie?
Are you sure you're okay?
You don't have to be here.
- I do.
- Okay.
- I'm ready to speak to you.
- You are?
- I want to tell you my secret.
- What is it?
- I've seen strange things.
- What sort of things?
- I'm not sure what's
real, and what's not.
You believe me, don't you mummy?
What are you thinking, mummy?
- I don't know.
- It's my fault, isn't it?
It's my fault she's dead.
- Look at my eyes, honey.
I don't flinch.
None of this is your fault.
Tell me you understand.
None of it.
- It's not my fault.
- That's right.
- Lilith and I still speak.
- Lilith's gone.
You know that.
- I know, it's not real,
but I don't want to lose her.
You think I'm crazy?
Don't give up on me, mummy.
- Do-do you remember when
we lost your Aunt Marie?
I still speak to her.
If you're crazy, honey, then I'm crazy.
We could be crazy together.
It's gonna be okay, honey.
Don't worry.
- You can see him now.
- Is he dangerous?
- We don't think so.
He's calm and rational.
He's listening to his therapist.
He's very respectful.
- Lilu, please wait here, okay?
Hmm?
- I want to come in.
- You can, I promise.
I just need to make sure it's safe.
Hmm?
- Okay.
- Mr. Addison, you have a visitor.
- How are you?
How have you been treated?
- Where's Lilu?
- She's outside.
- She doesn't wanna see me?
- She does.
What have the doctors said?
Have you been diagnosed?
- They don't, they don't say much.
They don't want me
pandering to their process.
- Have you learned anything?
- I've had lots of time to think.
Reflect.
- And?
- Fragments, images, phrases,
return to me, echo around in
my mind in ceaseless circles.
You said something the other night,
you said, um,
"History is a nightmare from which
we are trying to awake."
Was that from Homer?
- Joyce.
- Ah.
Yeah.
That little phrase, it bore into my soul.
History, our-our story,
this is a nightmare from which I've
so desperately been trying to awake.
- Oh honey, it's not.
I think Herzen said it best.
"History is the
autobiography of a madman."
We must stem the flow of blood.
It's up to us.
The first step is to be
honest about who we are
and what we've done.
What happened with you that night?
- I wasn't myself.
- Who were you?
- I thought it was Frank.
That night in the apartment.
But it wasn't, it was,
it was me.
I was him.
I've been him before.
I don't know how many times.
- So, so it was your alter ego who-
- Disassociated
personality state.
- Who strangled me?
- I didn't know what I was doing.
- And was it him, or was it you
who thought I was crazy?
- I'm only now coming
to terms with my wrongs,
and I would grovel, and I would apologize,
but I don't deserve forgiveness.
- When did this begin?
- I'm sorry.
Remember when we first met?
I was having a hard time
grappling with my past.
- We both were.
- Something fractured in me then.
My ghosts-
- Ghosts?
- I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry, my love.
The delusions.
They're all mine.
It's called folie-
- Folie a deux.
- Contagious psychosis.
It's a madness shared by two.
I blamed you, I took
advantage of your condition
to hide the truth.
The same time I hid it from myself.
But it was me.
It always has been.
- No, it's not.
It's-it's not your fault.
You didn't know what
you were doing, right?
- No.
But you can't trust me.
I-I can't even trust myself.
- It wasn't you.
It was your condition.
- Marion, stop.
You were right.
I need to be responsible for my actions.
- You need help, Michael.
When you're released,
I'll take care of you.
We'll be a family again.
We'll make it work.
I still love you.
- You don't know me.
- If anyone does, I do.
- Then no one does.
This is it.
Can't you see this?
This is the shared delusion.
- What?
- All of it.
Everything we believe.
- We have to work with what we have.
Do what we can with what we know.
- We know nothing but lies.
What are we running from?
- The murder of our child.
- There is no murderer.
- What?
- There is no murderer.
- Why are you saying that?
- I've come to a decision.
You're gonna hate me.
- What are you talking about?
- You're never gonna
be able to forgive me,
but I need you to know.
I did what I thought was right.
I did my best.
But my best was tragically bad.
There's no going back from this.
I just, I owe you at least
the truth, as I know it.
I thought Lilu was ill.
She had symptoms of schizophrenia.
She was self harming.
She was paranoid, delusional.
I should have known.
She lied to me.
I gave her an antipsychotic.
I should have known.
It was Lilith.
I am so sorry that I hid-
Hid Lilu's symptoms from you.
I was a fool.
I was afraid that you'd
be overwhelmed with guilt,
and you would once again
succumb to your own condition.
I'm, I know-
I know better now.
I know it's too late.
There's nothing I can do.
I should never have tried
to treat her on my own.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I hid it from you.
I hid it from me.
And I convinced Lilu-
of the same.
Lilu?
Sweetheart?
Are you out there?
Honey, I need to tell you something.
Oh, please.
I need you to know,
I need you to understand.
Please, baby.
- I'm not a baby.
- Oh.
I know.
I know you're not, honey.
You've been through
more in your little life
than most adults.
You've had to grow up so fast.
I'm sorry.
I need you to make me a promise.
Can you do that?
Promise me you'll look after mom.
It's okay.
It's okay.
I'm to blame for this insanity.
It's me.
It's all me.
Shh.
It's okay.
It's okay.
I'm gonna bring you to it.
Don't look.
Don't look.
Don't look.
No, let's calm down.
Calm down.
Shh, shh.
Calm down.
It's okay, it's okay.
It's not your fault.
No.
It was all me.
It was all me.
I'm to blame for this cycle
of insanity right now.
I'm sorry, sweetheart.
I'm sorry.
I did this to you.
I'm sorry, little baby.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Lilith.