Lilly Lives Alone (2025) Movie Script
1
- One time in grade
school, the teacher
told us that if
you close your eyes
and concentrate for 30 whole
seconds, you make a memory.
Same teacher showed
us how to take apart
a worm, how with each
of their extra hearts,
they could keep on moving
and wiggling in the dirt.
Never mind them losing
half their body.
They keep going.
I tried to make
a memory of that.
But memories don't
work that way for me.
I can only make out
shapes and colors,
like the feeling
of people's faces.
I remember them like a
pastel blur of lips and eyes,
like tiny flashing pictures
with nothing else to hold on to.
Some of the memories I
can't remember at all,
like they belong
to someone else.
And they were taken
from me, like they never
had their 30 seconds at all.
And the rest just blend
together into a blank nothing.
Not one of them feels
real, except one.
- What are you doing?
What time is it?
What are you writing?
Is it about me?
- Hon, you know
you're already late.
- Yeah, for what?
- You said you had to work.
- Shit.
Ah, fuck it.
My bro's shop.
He's cool.
This your kid?
This girl yours?
- You know this was
a one-time thing.
All right?
I mean, you can
finish your smoke,
but then you got to get going.
- You for real?
What, is she dead or something?
- Something.
- I'm sorry to hear that.
- You know something about it?
- I buried my dad last year,
my mom the year before that.
It's how it always seems
to happen now, am I right?
One and then the other.
Like, you know, one
heart stops and the other
don't want to face it
alone, so it gives out too.
Expected it sooner or later.
I always hope for later, though.
They were good people.
Is that like a
scrapbook or something?
- Oh, my god, this
was a mistake.
- A mistake?
Come on now.
My birthday is in April.
- Where are they at now?
- Who?
- Your folks.
You said they were good people.
I take it you meant they were
good in, like, a Christian way.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, so where are
they at now, Jed?
Jedidiah.
You believe there's
a heaven, don't you?
- Yeah, I do.
I don't know if it's, like,
clouds and angels and the Virgin
and all that shit,
but I believe in God.
Don't mostly everybody?
Don't you?
- No.
No, I try to count on only stuff
I can see and make sense of.
Yeah.
I believe in matter.
- What's that?
- Oh, my-- matter.
Yeah, this and everything else.
It's--
It's you, me, your tiny
prick, your dead mom and dad,
that pack of smokes,
that picture full of none
of your fucking business.
I believe when we die,
whatever we took in,
we just put right back out.
- That's a cold way
of seeing things.
- Yeah.
That's what my mama thought too.
I'd just rather worry
about now is all.
Not some place I can't even see.
- Yeah, well, I like to know
where I'm going to end up.
Ain't just some stuff
floating in space.
Fuck that.
Wouldn't feel too good if
I thought of it that way.
Truth told, it makes
me feel sorry for you.
- Don't.
- You got any treasure
in here or what?
- Leave it, all right?
- Got your matter
all locked up, huh?
- You're a real dummy, Jed.
- Can I see you again?
- No.
Sorry to say I
was being serious.
- Why is that?
You seemed to be
into it last night.
I know I lit a little
fire down there, right?
- Yeah, you were OK.
You want me to walk you out?
- Yeah, yeah.
I'm going.
Shit.
- Morning.
- You know the rest
of us have been here
for 20 minutes, hot stuff.
- Don't start, please.
You'll see, and then I'll
really be in some shit.
Some of us decent folk aren't
sleeping with Santa Claus,
you know.
- OK.
If that were true,
you'd better believe
I would not be on toilet
duty three times a week.
What?
- You said "duty."
- Oh, fuck you.
Get changed.
It's always something with you.
- It's hot in here.
- Hey, I keep telling you to
get a window box or something.
You're going to melt like Lilly
Popsicle by the time summer
comes back around.
Leave me with no one
worth talking to.
- Well, I am sure you will
find somebody desperate enough
to laugh at your dad jokes.
- When I tell them, they're
mom jokes, thank you.
Seriously, though, you should
get your butt in the walk in.
Cool down for a sec.
- OK.
Yeah, I will, I will.
- Get stuck in there, though,
and I'm going to leave you.
Got dibs on your stuff.
- What stuff?
- I don't know.
Hey, seriously, though, this
has to be the last time.
I can't keep making up stories
just so you can sleep in, OK?
It's my butt too.
Beast is bubbling out there.
- I guess it's time to revolt.
- Yeah, I'd settle
for a smoke break.
See you out there.
- Yep.
Sorry, kid.
You scared me.
You need help finding something?
Can I help you find something?
Your parents around?
Jesus.
All right.
Come on, kid.
Help!
Help, I need help!
It's OK, it's OK, it's OK.
I need help!
Y'all are funny as fuck.
Yeah, I didn't realize it had
a street full of clowns here.
You know what?
Whoever fucking did this,
just so, so goddamn funny.
- You all right?
You need help?
What was that?
- I have no idea.
- You know--
- What the fuck, man?
What are you doing here?
- I know you said you
didn't want to see me again,
but I didn't think
you really meant it.
- I meant it.
How did you get in here?
I thought you were stable, man.
You going crazy
on me this quick?
- Not yet.
I left my wallet in the morning.
Figured I'd stop by after
you got off, maybe say hello.
Maybe try for round two.
I thought about waiting for
you naked in the bedroom,
but you keep it locked up.
You smell like old milk.
- I don't remember
giving you a key.
- You ain't the first person to
hide a key in a rock, you know.
- Motherfucker.
- Take it easy.
- Hey man, kindly fuck off.
- Can I at least use
your pot before I go?
- If you don't call it that.
- Would have used it
before you came in,
but like everything else
you got here, it's locked.
- It's not locked.
It's old.
Try pushing.
- The same since they sold it.
I tell you that.
I don't know how
they stayed in there.
It stunk like a skunk.
- Fuck.
Shit.
Fuck.
Is there someone else here?
- What do you mean?
- You ever think about
having another kid?
Who's that?
- Dude, are you a cop?
What's with all the questions?
- Who is she?
- You can't tell?
My mother.
- You know, you, uh,
look a lot like her.
You still close with her?
- Well, she's dead, Jed.
- How'd it happen?
- Fuck off, man.
What the fuck?
- Wait, I've seen this before.
That sign.
The same fucking sign.
We've been here before.
- Yeah?
Jed?
Jed, you better not
be fucking with me.
Hey, I am not your booty call.
I was just so fucking polite.
So fucking sick of this
backwoods bullshit.
I see you.
You want a new story?
You want a picture?
I'll fucking pose for you.
Just--
Get out of my fucking house.
Fucking piece of shit.
- Dudes are coming down the
aisle handing out drinks
with that shit.
I got
them kissing my ass.
- The plane crashed.
Hey, Lilly.
- One of you two know
anything about who's
been banging on my walls?
- Ma'am, you know
you're bleeding.
- One of you does.
- That looks pretty bad.
- Ma'am.
Ma'am.
I think you got us wrong.
- Oh, I do?
- We were both just hanging.
- Honest to God, we've
just been in and out
over here all evening.
Just talking.
You see or hear nothing?
- Nothing.
- There you go.
But that cut is going
to get infected.
Are you feeling all right?
- Why were you out
here talking to Jed?
- I think I got something
to disinfect that.
You want to come
inside for a bit?
- The man who just
left my goddamn house.
I saw you talking,
bunch of Chatty Cathys.
- Oh, that guy?
Yeah, we don't know him.
He just asked us for directions.
That's all.
- Directions?
- Back to the interstate.
- Are you sure about that?
- Yes, ma'am.
- I want y'all to stop
whatever it is you're doing.
- Lilly, there's
nothing to stop.
There's no ill will here.
We're your friends.
This is what you
call a community.
In case you forgot.
- Pick up.
Pick up, pick up.
- Hello?
- Claire.
Claire?
- What time is it?
- I don't know.
Late probably or early.
- Are you OK?
- Uh.
Hello?
- So what are you doing?
- I'm asleep.
It's the middle of the night.
- Do you want to come over?
Can you come over?
- I've got the early
shift tomorrow,
so unless you're dying,
I am going to sleep.
- No, I understand.
That's fine.
That's fine.
No, that's OK.
- Are you dying?
Are you fucked up right now?
Go to bed, Lilly.
I'll call you from the
store in the morning.
- Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
- OK?
Good night, OK?
- Yeah.
- Love you.
- Yeah, love you too.
Is it?
No, it can't be.
It can't be today.
No.
No, I marked every day.
I did.
OK.
- Don't shoot.
Don't shoot.
Don't shoot.
Don't shoot.
- Damn it, Russel.
- I wasn't--
- Wasn't what?
- Oh, God.
- Answer faster.
- I was just checking on you.
That's all I was doing.
I was just checking on you.
- You were spying on me.
- No, no, no.
I wasn't doing that.
I wasn't doing that.
We heard noises, banging
and smashing and yelling.
We all did.
- Who?
- Everybody.
- I didn't--
I didn't do what you all think.
- Please, don't, don't, don't.
I know.
I know.
Please, please don't shoot me.
I know that.
I know that.
I was just thinking
that maybe you
needed some help, that's
all, that I can help you.
- Help?
You thought you could help me?
- Yeah, just help you, 'cause--
because you lost a child.
- No, no, no.
Shut the fuck up.
- OK.
- You know what?
You're a fucking nothing.
- OK.
- You know that?
- I know that.
I do.
I know that.
I know I'm nothing, I know that.
Please.
- OK, you need to
tell them, all right?
You need to tell them that
I didn't do that, all right?
- I will.
I will.
- I didn't do nothing.
- I know.
I will.
I'll tell them.
I'll tell them.
- You tell them.
- I will.
- Tell them.
- OK.
- I didn't fucking do that.
- OK, please.
Don't hurt me.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
I'm sorry, Lilly.
I'm sorry.
Oh.
- Russel.
- She almost killed me.
She almost killed me.
- Lilly?
Babe?
Oh, Jesus.
Lilly.
Oh, look at you.
What happened?
- I had an accident.
Two accidents.
I'm so glad you came.
- OK.
OK, It's going to be OK.
Yeah, we're going to
get you cleaned up.
Shh.
- Better?
- Your head is pretty messed up.
You sure you don't want to go
to the hospital or nothing?
OK.
You'll have a pretty cool scar.
It's going to sting.
OK.
Well, I covered
it in alcohol, so.
There's no shortage
of that around here.
Don't want you turning
green on us, though.
- I'm sorry for calling you.
- It's OK.
I should have come sooner.
I'm sorry, Lilly.
I didn't-- I didn't realize.
I didn't.
I'm sorry.
- Today's 10 years.
- Yeah.
- I keep a calendar every
day, and I couldn't even
remember the date.
And I think I told myself I had
another month, but it's today.
I thought I'd be OK.
- Hey.
You're OK.
OK.
It's OK.
There we go.
It's better with
the light on you.
Oh.
Your mother was beautiful.
We don't need to talk about her.
We can just sit.
That's good, right?
- I'm seeing things.
Too many fucking things.
I fucking hate her
for it so much.
- You keep her picture around.
OK.
Woo.
OK.
What are we doing then?
Two drunk hot chicks on a
fiery Sunday night before work.
There's a lot of guys that would
pay good money for that show.
- Oh yeah.
Most of them live
on this street.
When I was little, it was
mostly just me and my mom.
My daddy wasn't around much yet.
Any chance she would
get, she was always
teaching me something.
She'd tell me, you can't
let your guard down,
not for a minute.
You got to earn your own damn
money, be self-sufficient.
It's you or nobody.
What she'd say the most is
men are always coming for you.
You can't give in
to them men, Lills.
Men like your daddy.
But then that is
just what she did.
Every time he came
back, she did.
And fucking killed her.
I mean.
He killed her.
She killed her.
This whole place killed her.
Look at me.
- Hey, you're
still alive, Lills.
- Oh, God.
Please don't call me that.
- Sorry.
- I made all of these
promises to myself,
and I can't even
remember what they were.
I'm all out of her lessons.
I really miss them.
God damn it.
I'm just like her, aren't I?
- I don't know.
Maybe.
Maybe you are.
It doesn't mean you're going
to be like her, though.
My dad never worked a
damn day in his life.
But I am up at 5:30 every
day just to make sure
my family's got
something to eat.
So what does that tell you
about repeating cycles?
- It tells me that you should
walk up to that bald fucker
and say, hey, you need to
give me more money or a break,
or I'm going to break you.
You need one.
As long as life!
- That's true.
- You know what, me too.
Oh, you gotta see this.
- What is this?
- Found it on the porch.
- Was it hers?
- I got a note on my
car this morning too.
- OK.
What did it say?
- You know, this town is real
proud about being forgiving
and Christian, but
every chance they get,
somebody is trying real hard
to watch me burn alive in here.
Like they know I'm going to
hell and demand it come sooner.
Like I don't see through
every last one of them.
Fucking.
- Hey, I'm a Christian.
- I don't hold it
against you neither.
- Good.
- This stuff is cancer.
It used to feel so good.
Now it's just nothing.
Empty air.
Claire, they're
coming to get me, OK?
- Hey, no one is coming
to get you, babe.
- I'm just so tired.
- What's this?
- That's my cloraze.
It's for this.
- OK.
How many did you take?
Lilly?
- They know what I did, though.
- What do you
mean, what you did?
Everybody knows it
was an accident.
We all know.
How many did you take?
- 10.
10 years.
- OK, yeah, it was 10 years
ago, but it was an accident.
Lily.
Is there somebody here?
Babe?
Is there somebody
in the bedroom?
- No.
No.
No.
- Lilly.
Lilly, get off.
- Claire, no.
I'm just, please.
- You're hurting me.
- No.
- Please stop.
OK, you're hurting me, Lily.
- Trying to help you.
- OK, enough.
Look, get help, OK?
I can't.
It's too early.
Just go to bed.
Get some help.
- Claire?
Claire?
Claire, where are you at?
Claire?
Claire, where are you at?
Claire?
- You could do it.
I mean, you don't have a man.
You don't have any ties,
anything weighing you down.
I'd go with you if I could.
- Yeah, but who would
take care of you if I go?
- Babe, I love you, but you're
barely taking care of yourself.
Look at you.
Look at your uniform.
- It's the same
one you've got on.
- Yeah, and I wash
mine sometimes.
- Where would I go?
- Somewhere quieter than that
crazy voice in your head.
- Then what?
- At least you're not here.
- Hi, you've reached
Claire, David, and Abby.
Leave a message.
- Claire, I just needed
to know that you were OK.
You're probably just trying
to sleep right now or maybe
you went into work early.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I just want to make sure.
So I hope I didn't
wake up your family.
All right.
I'm really sorry.
I'm sorry.
OK, bye.
Fuck.
Oh, fuck.
- Lillian.
Lillian, this is Russel.
Look, I don't want to start
up everything with you again.
But look, everybody is more
than a little concerned now.
And for some
reason, they elected
me to come over here
and talk to you.
- Please, go the fuck away.
- Well, there's no need to
be disrespectful, Lillian.
OK?
We don't want to
call the police.
None of us do.
And I know that you would
never harm me or anybody.
I believe that.
I do.
Look, you don't have to
do this alone, you know.
You have friends.
You think this is fun
for me, standing out here
freezing my ass off?
I'm cold, I'm tired,
I'm exhausted,
and frankly, I'm getting
a little frustrated.
Oh, well, that is cute.
That is fucking cute.
You put a gun in my
face, you fucking bitch.
I've been nothing
but kind to you,
and here you are
shutting me out.
You know, you don't
own sadness, Lillian.
You don't own despair.
Life is fucking
hard for everybody,
and no one has any say so
about what happens to them.
You, me, nobody.
Fucking talk to me.
Fuck you.
- Lillian.
Lillian.
Lills, I-- I need my paycheck.
- You don't work anymore, Dad.
No paychecks.
- It should fucking
be right here.
You're stealing from me.
- Does it hurt?
- Of course it hurts.
What the fuck do you care?
You won't look for my papers?
- I'm getting them, Dad.
I'll find them.
- Cunts.
You know who you are.
Oh, yeah.
You're just too busy.
Where's your mom gone?
- Mom is dead, Dad.
Remember?
- Your mother.
Beautiful woman.
- Yes, Dad.
- Where'd she go?
Where's that other man gone?
- Who are you
talking about, Dad?
- Don't play fucking
tricks with me.
That man that's always here.
Always here with you.
- No one is here, Dad.
- Where's my money?
You got it?
Bunch of grifters.
You, you and your
bitch of a mother.
- Who's that?
I ain't playing this game.
I'm sick of this.
I have had enough.
- Hey, hey.
Hey, hands off me.
Sorry.
- Hey, what are
you, a perv, man?
- No.
- You a fucking perv?
- No.
- Are you the one following me?
Are you the son of a bitch who's
been following me and banging
on my house?
- Banging on your house?
Oh.
I'm going to go.
- Just sit.
- It got blood all over it.
Look at it.
It's broken.
- Why are you filming me?
Why are you outside of
my house filming me?
- I wasn't.
- Fuck you weren't.
Don't lie to me, you little--
oh, what's this?
Huh?
What's this?
You don't mind if I just
throw this in the microwave,
warm it up for a few minutes?
- Wait, come on.
I wasn't filming you.
I was filming the house
is all, just the house.
- Why?
- I don't know.
I thought I might see something.
It ain't exactly a secret,
you know, what happened here.
What you did.
Why all you do is go to work,
come home, keep to yourself.
All locked up.
Why nobody ever sees you except
at the bars outside the valley.
- Sounds like you know a lot.
- I didn't mean to hurt nobody.
I just thought I might
see something different.
- I'm all there is to see here.
- Can I have my tape back?
- No, you can't.
You've been watching
my place for a while?
- Yeah.
- How long?
You been filming me every day?
- Not every day.
- You see me with men?
- It's not like that.
- Oh, what's it like then?
- You want to give
me some of that?
- I don't got no more.
Fuck's sake.
- Thank you.
- Well?
- You remember the murders
at the coast in Rock Point?
The husband and wife,
almost 15 years back.
- Barely.
- Well, I do.
I think about it a whole lot.
It seems like for
years people were too
afraid to leave their houses.
It was the most
excited I've ever been.
When the news
cameras came, folks
were talking about seeing
all sorts of spirits.
The wife and husband walking
along the beach up and down
every night.
Trails of blood behind them too.
I wanted to see it so bad.
- You know that's
Looney Tunes, right?
- Yeah, well, I
heard them stories,
and the first thing I did
was grab my Dad's camcorder
and post it up on the dunes
in freezing cold rain.
And I sat there and watched and
watched all night every night
for over a month.
I sat there.
I fixed my eyes on the
tide and just watched.
- Did you see a ghost?
- No.
- And now you're harassing me,
following me around, sending me
notes for what?
- I never left notes.
I'm sorry for scaring you.
There's just nothing else
for me here, you know.
Not here.
I don't got much to hold on to.
I gotta try.
I have to try.
- Why do you care so much?
- You ain't the only person that
ever lost somebody, you know.
- Well, you ain't the first
one to come here in the decade
since she died.
Not even close.
You ain't special.
And the only spirits here
you just drank the last of.
- Hey, I'm sorry.
- Yeah.
- Oh, no.
Mama.
- Claire?
- Who's Claire?
- Just a sec.
Just a second.
- Come on.
It's getting cold.
Well, I didn't wake you, did I?
- You came.
You're here.
- The hell you
been doing in here?
It's almost as bad as my place.
- Why did you come?
- Shit, you forget already?
You called me up.
- Because you said
you wanted to.
You said so yourself.
- You begged me to come.
- But you actually did.
You came back.
And you don't even know me.
Not really.
- Was I supposed to hang up?
Say no thank you, call you
crazy or something like that?
- You could have.
- That what you want?
- Nope.
- What are you doing?
You seem fixed on
kicking me out earlier.
- Here.
Dance with me.
- Sorry?
I thought of your mother
While hitching a ride
I flagged down the driver
- You like this
kind of music, Jed?
Someday I'll call
From out on the road
I still hear your voice
In each dial tone
But I can't go home
There's nothing out there
You told me so
- This song was my
mother's favorite.
But it's not forever
- She's dead, Jed.
Remember?
I needed to go
- What happened to her?
- Did you know I used to sing?
Only in cowboy bars
for men like you.
Here, there, in between.
I used to sing to
my little girl too.
This song.
This was my mama's favorite.
- Yeah, you mentioned it.
Look, you want me to help
you clean up or something?
But I can't go home
- Should have did
what I did, Jeff.
- Jed.
- To her only daughter.
- Well, you ain't dead.
- But she did it to me.
When she couldn't take care
of her own self, I had to.
And when she left,
she left me, him.
You know what they say.
You gotta be better
than your parents.
For your kid's sake
and their kid's sake.
- Yeah, I don't
know who says that.
- Hey.
- Come on.
Let's get you up.
- Ow.
It's OK.
I know why you came tonight.
Because, well, you
wanted to know.
Like it's some God damn mystery
everybody's got to solve.
You want to know what
happened 10 years ago
and know about me and my ex and
the whole history of the world.
History of my matter.
Remember, Jed?
- I only came here
because you called me.
- Nope.
You want to know
if I'm a murderer.
- What?
Look, I didn't come over
here with no accusations, OK?
I like you.
I think.
I just didn't think you'd be so
fucked by the time I got here.
I just thought that you--
- You thought that you were
going to fuck me and find out
all my secrets.
Let me tell you something, Jed.
I come from the bad people.
I mean, it ain't a secret.
Everybody knows me in these
parts, this backwater.
Somehow everybody but you.
I come from the bad stock.
Bad apples, baby.
- Yeah, I don't believe in that.
People are just people.
Hell, if I believed in that, I
wouldn't want to be me neither.
Shit, I don't want to think
about all the shit I've done.
What's a good person anyway?
- Don't.
Don't.
- You hearing that?
- It's the shutters.
Here, listen, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
You know, my daddy
used to have this cane.
It was more a stick with
tape wrapped around it.
And he would whack,
whack on the table
any time he wasn't
getting what he wanted.
Her attention.
And when she finally
couldn't take it anymore,
she found a way out.
She found one.
She just forgot to
take me with her.
And then across my shoulders,
it was whack, whack, whack.
My turn.
It was my attention he needed.
Only I couldn't find a
way out like she did.
And then one day, that man
just looked across the room
and spotted me and called
me by my mama's name.
That's when I knew that
if I didn't do something,
I would end up just like her.
And just like my mama,
I was going to choose me
over anything else.
- That don't sound so bad.
- I loved him.
He couldn't feed
himself, really.
Not really.
- Listen.
Listen to me.
Sounds like whatever you did
back then, maybe you had to, OK?
What the hell are those anyway?
- Oh, like you don't know.
- What's that supposed to mean?
- OK, Jed, if you want
to play it that way.
- I told you, I don't
need no accusations.
- I saw you out there talking
to Russel and the men.
- Yeah, so?
- You all want to see me dead
or dying, but I'm still here.
- I only came here
tonight because I
wanted to get laid, OK?
And maybe that was my bad.
That's on me.
But I don't-- I don't care
what mistakes you made.
- You will.
Fuck me.
What the hell was that?
Hey, who's back there?
- Nobody.
- What do you mean, nobody?
Who's back there?
Are you playing games with me?
Is this fun for you?
Hey, who's back there?
Answer me, damn it.
- Dance with me.
- Shit.
Who's in here?
Open up.
What is this?
What, you got somebody
locked up in there?
What the hell are
you doing in here?
Answer me, Lilly.
What is this?
You ain't going to fucking move.
Hello?
Anyone in there?
I'm here to help.
Can you hear me?
Where's the key?
Where's the goddamn key?
OK.
- Stop!
All right.
All right.
You want to know?
You want to know everything?
It's what you already know.
It happened right there.
I was-- I don't know.
I never asked for a kid.
I didn't want one.
And then she came, and she
was so perfect and beautiful
and too good for me.
And I was fucking passed out in
the bathtub when it happened.
And she saw this little bag and
thought it was, I don't know,
sugar, and she--
she was really curious and--
We couldn't call
the cops, and he--
I didn't.
But I loved her so much.
So much.
I did all the best I could.
Really the best I could.
I have more love to give.
I have more.
So much more.
- Oh, what the fuck?
That's why you picked me up?
That's why you-- that's why you
got all these pregnancy tests
and shit around here?
I should call the fucking cops.
Maybe you aren't
fit to be a mom.
Maybe you aren't
fit to have a baby.
That ever cross your
fucking little mind?
Who is in here?
What the fuck is going on?
Fuck.
- No!
- Hey.
Hey, darling.
Come here.
- Shh.
It's only pain.
It only hurts for
a little while.
Like most everything.
I lied to you this morning.
I do believe in an afterlife.
You were right.
There's got to be something
comes after this, 'cause
I've seen it and felt it.
I can feel it right now.
I did love her.
I didn't know what that meant,
not really, what it looked like.
No one taught me.
But I could--
I can remember every
single bit of her.
That's how I know there
can't be just nothing.
She gave me so much, and I
never thought I'd feel it again.
And now it's like a
miracle I don't deserve.
It's happening.
It's happening anyway.
Oh, God.
God.
I remember your little hands.
The lines on your soft skin.
When your fingers wrapped around
mine and held on so tight.
I remember all of it.
I remember everything.
Shh.
Oh, it's OK.
It's all right, it's all
right, it's all right.
It's all right, it's all right.
I've got you, I got you.
- One time in grade
school, the teacher
told us that if
you close your eyes
and concentrate for 30 whole
seconds, you make a memory.
Same teacher showed
us how to take apart
a worm, how with each
of their extra hearts,
they could keep on moving
and wiggling in the dirt.
Never mind them losing
half their body.
They keep going.
I tried to make
a memory of that.
But memories don't
work that way for me.
I can only make out
shapes and colors,
like the feeling
of people's faces.
I remember them like a
pastel blur of lips and eyes,
like tiny flashing pictures
with nothing else to hold on to.
Some of the memories I
can't remember at all,
like they belong
to someone else.
And they were taken
from me, like they never
had their 30 seconds at all.
And the rest just blend
together into a blank nothing.
Not one of them feels
real, except one.
- What are you doing?
What time is it?
What are you writing?
Is it about me?
- Hon, you know
you're already late.
- Yeah, for what?
- You said you had to work.
- Shit.
Ah, fuck it.
My bro's shop.
He's cool.
This your kid?
This girl yours?
- You know this was
a one-time thing.
All right?
I mean, you can
finish your smoke,
but then you got to get going.
- You for real?
What, is she dead or something?
- Something.
- I'm sorry to hear that.
- You know something about it?
- I buried my dad last year,
my mom the year before that.
It's how it always seems
to happen now, am I right?
One and then the other.
Like, you know, one
heart stops and the other
don't want to face it
alone, so it gives out too.
Expected it sooner or later.
I always hope for later, though.
They were good people.
Is that like a
scrapbook or something?
- Oh, my god, this
was a mistake.
- A mistake?
Come on now.
My birthday is in April.
- Where are they at now?
- Who?
- Your folks.
You said they were good people.
I take it you meant they were
good in, like, a Christian way.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, so where are
they at now, Jed?
Jedidiah.
You believe there's
a heaven, don't you?
- Yeah, I do.
I don't know if it's, like,
clouds and angels and the Virgin
and all that shit,
but I believe in God.
Don't mostly everybody?
Don't you?
- No.
No, I try to count on only stuff
I can see and make sense of.
Yeah.
I believe in matter.
- What's that?
- Oh, my-- matter.
Yeah, this and everything else.
It's--
It's you, me, your tiny
prick, your dead mom and dad,
that pack of smokes,
that picture full of none
of your fucking business.
I believe when we die,
whatever we took in,
we just put right back out.
- That's a cold way
of seeing things.
- Yeah.
That's what my mama thought too.
I'd just rather worry
about now is all.
Not some place I can't even see.
- Yeah, well, I like to know
where I'm going to end up.
Ain't just some stuff
floating in space.
Fuck that.
Wouldn't feel too good if
I thought of it that way.
Truth told, it makes
me feel sorry for you.
- Don't.
- You got any treasure
in here or what?
- Leave it, all right?
- Got your matter
all locked up, huh?
- You're a real dummy, Jed.
- Can I see you again?
- No.
Sorry to say I
was being serious.
- Why is that?
You seemed to be
into it last night.
I know I lit a little
fire down there, right?
- Yeah, you were OK.
You want me to walk you out?
- Yeah, yeah.
I'm going.
Shit.
- Morning.
- You know the rest
of us have been here
for 20 minutes, hot stuff.
- Don't start, please.
You'll see, and then I'll
really be in some shit.
Some of us decent folk aren't
sleeping with Santa Claus,
you know.
- OK.
If that were true,
you'd better believe
I would not be on toilet
duty three times a week.
What?
- You said "duty."
- Oh, fuck you.
Get changed.
It's always something with you.
- It's hot in here.
- Hey, I keep telling you to
get a window box or something.
You're going to melt like Lilly
Popsicle by the time summer
comes back around.
Leave me with no one
worth talking to.
- Well, I am sure you will
find somebody desperate enough
to laugh at your dad jokes.
- When I tell them, they're
mom jokes, thank you.
Seriously, though, you should
get your butt in the walk in.
Cool down for a sec.
- OK.
Yeah, I will, I will.
- Get stuck in there, though,
and I'm going to leave you.
Got dibs on your stuff.
- What stuff?
- I don't know.
Hey, seriously, though, this
has to be the last time.
I can't keep making up stories
just so you can sleep in, OK?
It's my butt too.
Beast is bubbling out there.
- I guess it's time to revolt.
- Yeah, I'd settle
for a smoke break.
See you out there.
- Yep.
Sorry, kid.
You scared me.
You need help finding something?
Can I help you find something?
Your parents around?
Jesus.
All right.
Come on, kid.
Help!
Help, I need help!
It's OK, it's OK, it's OK.
I need help!
Y'all are funny as fuck.
Yeah, I didn't realize it had
a street full of clowns here.
You know what?
Whoever fucking did this,
just so, so goddamn funny.
- You all right?
You need help?
What was that?
- I have no idea.
- You know--
- What the fuck, man?
What are you doing here?
- I know you said you
didn't want to see me again,
but I didn't think
you really meant it.
- I meant it.
How did you get in here?
I thought you were stable, man.
You going crazy
on me this quick?
- Not yet.
I left my wallet in the morning.
Figured I'd stop by after
you got off, maybe say hello.
Maybe try for round two.
I thought about waiting for
you naked in the bedroom,
but you keep it locked up.
You smell like old milk.
- I don't remember
giving you a key.
- You ain't the first person to
hide a key in a rock, you know.
- Motherfucker.
- Take it easy.
- Hey man, kindly fuck off.
- Can I at least use
your pot before I go?
- If you don't call it that.
- Would have used it
before you came in,
but like everything else
you got here, it's locked.
- It's not locked.
It's old.
Try pushing.
- The same since they sold it.
I tell you that.
I don't know how
they stayed in there.
It stunk like a skunk.
- Fuck.
Shit.
Fuck.
Is there someone else here?
- What do you mean?
- You ever think about
having another kid?
Who's that?
- Dude, are you a cop?
What's with all the questions?
- Who is she?
- You can't tell?
My mother.
- You know, you, uh,
look a lot like her.
You still close with her?
- Well, she's dead, Jed.
- How'd it happen?
- Fuck off, man.
What the fuck?
- Wait, I've seen this before.
That sign.
The same fucking sign.
We've been here before.
- Yeah?
Jed?
Jed, you better not
be fucking with me.
Hey, I am not your booty call.
I was just so fucking polite.
So fucking sick of this
backwoods bullshit.
I see you.
You want a new story?
You want a picture?
I'll fucking pose for you.
Just--
Get out of my fucking house.
Fucking piece of shit.
- Dudes are coming down the
aisle handing out drinks
with that shit.
I got
them kissing my ass.
- The plane crashed.
Hey, Lilly.
- One of you two know
anything about who's
been banging on my walls?
- Ma'am, you know
you're bleeding.
- One of you does.
- That looks pretty bad.
- Ma'am.
Ma'am.
I think you got us wrong.
- Oh, I do?
- We were both just hanging.
- Honest to God, we've
just been in and out
over here all evening.
Just talking.
You see or hear nothing?
- Nothing.
- There you go.
But that cut is going
to get infected.
Are you feeling all right?
- Why were you out
here talking to Jed?
- I think I got something
to disinfect that.
You want to come
inside for a bit?
- The man who just
left my goddamn house.
I saw you talking,
bunch of Chatty Cathys.
- Oh, that guy?
Yeah, we don't know him.
He just asked us for directions.
That's all.
- Directions?
- Back to the interstate.
- Are you sure about that?
- Yes, ma'am.
- I want y'all to stop
whatever it is you're doing.
- Lilly, there's
nothing to stop.
There's no ill will here.
We're your friends.
This is what you
call a community.
In case you forgot.
- Pick up.
Pick up, pick up.
- Hello?
- Claire.
Claire?
- What time is it?
- I don't know.
Late probably or early.
- Are you OK?
- Uh.
Hello?
- So what are you doing?
- I'm asleep.
It's the middle of the night.
- Do you want to come over?
Can you come over?
- I've got the early
shift tomorrow,
so unless you're dying,
I am going to sleep.
- No, I understand.
That's fine.
That's fine.
No, that's OK.
- Are you dying?
Are you fucked up right now?
Go to bed, Lilly.
I'll call you from the
store in the morning.
- Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
- OK?
Good night, OK?
- Yeah.
- Love you.
- Yeah, love you too.
Is it?
No, it can't be.
It can't be today.
No.
No, I marked every day.
I did.
OK.
- Don't shoot.
Don't shoot.
Don't shoot.
Don't shoot.
- Damn it, Russel.
- I wasn't--
- Wasn't what?
- Oh, God.
- Answer faster.
- I was just checking on you.
That's all I was doing.
I was just checking on you.
- You were spying on me.
- No, no, no.
I wasn't doing that.
I wasn't doing that.
We heard noises, banging
and smashing and yelling.
We all did.
- Who?
- Everybody.
- I didn't--
I didn't do what you all think.
- Please, don't, don't, don't.
I know.
I know.
Please, please don't shoot me.
I know that.
I know that.
I was just thinking
that maybe you
needed some help, that's
all, that I can help you.
- Help?
You thought you could help me?
- Yeah, just help you, 'cause--
because you lost a child.
- No, no, no.
Shut the fuck up.
- OK.
- You know what?
You're a fucking nothing.
- OK.
- You know that?
- I know that.
I do.
I know that.
I know I'm nothing, I know that.
Please.
- OK, you need to
tell them, all right?
You need to tell them that
I didn't do that, all right?
- I will.
I will.
- I didn't do nothing.
- I know.
I will.
I'll tell them.
I'll tell them.
- You tell them.
- I will.
- Tell them.
- OK.
- I didn't fucking do that.
- OK, please.
Don't hurt me.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
I'm sorry, Lilly.
I'm sorry.
Oh.
- Russel.
- She almost killed me.
She almost killed me.
- Lilly?
Babe?
Oh, Jesus.
Lilly.
Oh, look at you.
What happened?
- I had an accident.
Two accidents.
I'm so glad you came.
- OK.
OK, It's going to be OK.
Yeah, we're going to
get you cleaned up.
Shh.
- Better?
- Your head is pretty messed up.
You sure you don't want to go
to the hospital or nothing?
OK.
You'll have a pretty cool scar.
It's going to sting.
OK.
Well, I covered
it in alcohol, so.
There's no shortage
of that around here.
Don't want you turning
green on us, though.
- I'm sorry for calling you.
- It's OK.
I should have come sooner.
I'm sorry, Lilly.
I didn't-- I didn't realize.
I didn't.
I'm sorry.
- Today's 10 years.
- Yeah.
- I keep a calendar every
day, and I couldn't even
remember the date.
And I think I told myself I had
another month, but it's today.
I thought I'd be OK.
- Hey.
You're OK.
OK.
It's OK.
There we go.
It's better with
the light on you.
Oh.
Your mother was beautiful.
We don't need to talk about her.
We can just sit.
That's good, right?
- I'm seeing things.
Too many fucking things.
I fucking hate her
for it so much.
- You keep her picture around.
OK.
Woo.
OK.
What are we doing then?
Two drunk hot chicks on a
fiery Sunday night before work.
There's a lot of guys that would
pay good money for that show.
- Oh yeah.
Most of them live
on this street.
When I was little, it was
mostly just me and my mom.
My daddy wasn't around much yet.
Any chance she would
get, she was always
teaching me something.
She'd tell me, you can't
let your guard down,
not for a minute.
You got to earn your own damn
money, be self-sufficient.
It's you or nobody.
What she'd say the most is
men are always coming for you.
You can't give in
to them men, Lills.
Men like your daddy.
But then that is
just what she did.
Every time he came
back, she did.
And fucking killed her.
I mean.
He killed her.
She killed her.
This whole place killed her.
Look at me.
- Hey, you're
still alive, Lills.
- Oh, God.
Please don't call me that.
- Sorry.
- I made all of these
promises to myself,
and I can't even
remember what they were.
I'm all out of her lessons.
I really miss them.
God damn it.
I'm just like her, aren't I?
- I don't know.
Maybe.
Maybe you are.
It doesn't mean you're going
to be like her, though.
My dad never worked a
damn day in his life.
But I am up at 5:30 every
day just to make sure
my family's got
something to eat.
So what does that tell you
about repeating cycles?
- It tells me that you should
walk up to that bald fucker
and say, hey, you need to
give me more money or a break,
or I'm going to break you.
You need one.
As long as life!
- That's true.
- You know what, me too.
Oh, you gotta see this.
- What is this?
- Found it on the porch.
- Was it hers?
- I got a note on my
car this morning too.
- OK.
What did it say?
- You know, this town is real
proud about being forgiving
and Christian, but
every chance they get,
somebody is trying real hard
to watch me burn alive in here.
Like they know I'm going to
hell and demand it come sooner.
Like I don't see through
every last one of them.
Fucking.
- Hey, I'm a Christian.
- I don't hold it
against you neither.
- Good.
- This stuff is cancer.
It used to feel so good.
Now it's just nothing.
Empty air.
Claire, they're
coming to get me, OK?
- Hey, no one is coming
to get you, babe.
- I'm just so tired.
- What's this?
- That's my cloraze.
It's for this.
- OK.
How many did you take?
Lilly?
- They know what I did, though.
- What do you
mean, what you did?
Everybody knows it
was an accident.
We all know.
How many did you take?
- 10.
10 years.
- OK, yeah, it was 10 years
ago, but it was an accident.
Lily.
Is there somebody here?
Babe?
Is there somebody
in the bedroom?
- No.
No.
No.
- Lilly.
Lilly, get off.
- Claire, no.
I'm just, please.
- You're hurting me.
- No.
- Please stop.
OK, you're hurting me, Lily.
- Trying to help you.
- OK, enough.
Look, get help, OK?
I can't.
It's too early.
Just go to bed.
Get some help.
- Claire?
Claire?
Claire, where are you at?
Claire?
Claire, where are you at?
Claire?
- You could do it.
I mean, you don't have a man.
You don't have any ties,
anything weighing you down.
I'd go with you if I could.
- Yeah, but who would
take care of you if I go?
- Babe, I love you, but you're
barely taking care of yourself.
Look at you.
Look at your uniform.
- It's the same
one you've got on.
- Yeah, and I wash
mine sometimes.
- Where would I go?
- Somewhere quieter than that
crazy voice in your head.
- Then what?
- At least you're not here.
- Hi, you've reached
Claire, David, and Abby.
Leave a message.
- Claire, I just needed
to know that you were OK.
You're probably just trying
to sleep right now or maybe
you went into work early.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I just want to make sure.
So I hope I didn't
wake up your family.
All right.
I'm really sorry.
I'm sorry.
OK, bye.
Fuck.
Oh, fuck.
- Lillian.
Lillian, this is Russel.
Look, I don't want to start
up everything with you again.
But look, everybody is more
than a little concerned now.
And for some
reason, they elected
me to come over here
and talk to you.
- Please, go the fuck away.
- Well, there's no need to
be disrespectful, Lillian.
OK?
We don't want to
call the police.
None of us do.
And I know that you would
never harm me or anybody.
I believe that.
I do.
Look, you don't have to
do this alone, you know.
You have friends.
You think this is fun
for me, standing out here
freezing my ass off?
I'm cold, I'm tired,
I'm exhausted,
and frankly, I'm getting
a little frustrated.
Oh, well, that is cute.
That is fucking cute.
You put a gun in my
face, you fucking bitch.
I've been nothing
but kind to you,
and here you are
shutting me out.
You know, you don't
own sadness, Lillian.
You don't own despair.
Life is fucking
hard for everybody,
and no one has any say so
about what happens to them.
You, me, nobody.
Fucking talk to me.
Fuck you.
- Lillian.
Lillian.
Lills, I-- I need my paycheck.
- You don't work anymore, Dad.
No paychecks.
- It should fucking
be right here.
You're stealing from me.
- Does it hurt?
- Of course it hurts.
What the fuck do you care?
You won't look for my papers?
- I'm getting them, Dad.
I'll find them.
- Cunts.
You know who you are.
Oh, yeah.
You're just too busy.
Where's your mom gone?
- Mom is dead, Dad.
Remember?
- Your mother.
Beautiful woman.
- Yes, Dad.
- Where'd she go?
Where's that other man gone?
- Who are you
talking about, Dad?
- Don't play fucking
tricks with me.
That man that's always here.
Always here with you.
- No one is here, Dad.
- Where's my money?
You got it?
Bunch of grifters.
You, you and your
bitch of a mother.
- Who's that?
I ain't playing this game.
I'm sick of this.
I have had enough.
- Hey, hey.
Hey, hands off me.
Sorry.
- Hey, what are
you, a perv, man?
- No.
- You a fucking perv?
- No.
- Are you the one following me?
Are you the son of a bitch who's
been following me and banging
on my house?
- Banging on your house?
Oh.
I'm going to go.
- Just sit.
- It got blood all over it.
Look at it.
It's broken.
- Why are you filming me?
Why are you outside of
my house filming me?
- I wasn't.
- Fuck you weren't.
Don't lie to me, you little--
oh, what's this?
Huh?
What's this?
You don't mind if I just
throw this in the microwave,
warm it up for a few minutes?
- Wait, come on.
I wasn't filming you.
I was filming the house
is all, just the house.
- Why?
- I don't know.
I thought I might see something.
It ain't exactly a secret,
you know, what happened here.
What you did.
Why all you do is go to work,
come home, keep to yourself.
All locked up.
Why nobody ever sees you except
at the bars outside the valley.
- Sounds like you know a lot.
- I didn't mean to hurt nobody.
I just thought I might
see something different.
- I'm all there is to see here.
- Can I have my tape back?
- No, you can't.
You've been watching
my place for a while?
- Yeah.
- How long?
You been filming me every day?
- Not every day.
- You see me with men?
- It's not like that.
- Oh, what's it like then?
- You want to give
me some of that?
- I don't got no more.
Fuck's sake.
- Thank you.
- Well?
- You remember the murders
at the coast in Rock Point?
The husband and wife,
almost 15 years back.
- Barely.
- Well, I do.
I think about it a whole lot.
It seems like for
years people were too
afraid to leave their houses.
It was the most
excited I've ever been.
When the news
cameras came, folks
were talking about seeing
all sorts of spirits.
The wife and husband walking
along the beach up and down
every night.
Trails of blood behind them too.
I wanted to see it so bad.
- You know that's
Looney Tunes, right?
- Yeah, well, I
heard them stories,
and the first thing I did
was grab my Dad's camcorder
and post it up on the dunes
in freezing cold rain.
And I sat there and watched and
watched all night every night
for over a month.
I sat there.
I fixed my eyes on the
tide and just watched.
- Did you see a ghost?
- No.
- And now you're harassing me,
following me around, sending me
notes for what?
- I never left notes.
I'm sorry for scaring you.
There's just nothing else
for me here, you know.
Not here.
I don't got much to hold on to.
I gotta try.
I have to try.
- Why do you care so much?
- You ain't the only person that
ever lost somebody, you know.
- Well, you ain't the first
one to come here in the decade
since she died.
Not even close.
You ain't special.
And the only spirits here
you just drank the last of.
- Hey, I'm sorry.
- Yeah.
- Oh, no.
Mama.
- Claire?
- Who's Claire?
- Just a sec.
Just a second.
- Come on.
It's getting cold.
Well, I didn't wake you, did I?
- You came.
You're here.
- The hell you
been doing in here?
It's almost as bad as my place.
- Why did you come?
- Shit, you forget already?
You called me up.
- Because you said
you wanted to.
You said so yourself.
- You begged me to come.
- But you actually did.
You came back.
And you don't even know me.
Not really.
- Was I supposed to hang up?
Say no thank you, call you
crazy or something like that?
- You could have.
- That what you want?
- Nope.
- What are you doing?
You seem fixed on
kicking me out earlier.
- Here.
Dance with me.
- Sorry?
I thought of your mother
While hitching a ride
I flagged down the driver
- You like this
kind of music, Jed?
Someday I'll call
From out on the road
I still hear your voice
In each dial tone
But I can't go home
There's nothing out there
You told me so
- This song was my
mother's favorite.
But it's not forever
- She's dead, Jed.
Remember?
I needed to go
- What happened to her?
- Did you know I used to sing?
Only in cowboy bars
for men like you.
Here, there, in between.
I used to sing to
my little girl too.
This song.
This was my mama's favorite.
- Yeah, you mentioned it.
Look, you want me to help
you clean up or something?
But I can't go home
- Should have did
what I did, Jeff.
- Jed.
- To her only daughter.
- Well, you ain't dead.
- But she did it to me.
When she couldn't take care
of her own self, I had to.
And when she left,
she left me, him.
You know what they say.
You gotta be better
than your parents.
For your kid's sake
and their kid's sake.
- Yeah, I don't
know who says that.
- Hey.
- Come on.
Let's get you up.
- Ow.
It's OK.
I know why you came tonight.
Because, well, you
wanted to know.
Like it's some God damn mystery
everybody's got to solve.
You want to know what
happened 10 years ago
and know about me and my ex and
the whole history of the world.
History of my matter.
Remember, Jed?
- I only came here
because you called me.
- Nope.
You want to know
if I'm a murderer.
- What?
Look, I didn't come over
here with no accusations, OK?
I like you.
I think.
I just didn't think you'd be so
fucked by the time I got here.
I just thought that you--
- You thought that you were
going to fuck me and find out
all my secrets.
Let me tell you something, Jed.
I come from the bad people.
I mean, it ain't a secret.
Everybody knows me in these
parts, this backwater.
Somehow everybody but you.
I come from the bad stock.
Bad apples, baby.
- Yeah, I don't believe in that.
People are just people.
Hell, if I believed in that, I
wouldn't want to be me neither.
Shit, I don't want to think
about all the shit I've done.
What's a good person anyway?
- Don't.
Don't.
- You hearing that?
- It's the shutters.
Here, listen, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
You know, my daddy
used to have this cane.
It was more a stick with
tape wrapped around it.
And he would whack,
whack on the table
any time he wasn't
getting what he wanted.
Her attention.
And when she finally
couldn't take it anymore,
she found a way out.
She found one.
She just forgot to
take me with her.
And then across my shoulders,
it was whack, whack, whack.
My turn.
It was my attention he needed.
Only I couldn't find a
way out like she did.
And then one day, that man
just looked across the room
and spotted me and called
me by my mama's name.
That's when I knew that
if I didn't do something,
I would end up just like her.
And just like my mama,
I was going to choose me
over anything else.
- That don't sound so bad.
- I loved him.
He couldn't feed
himself, really.
Not really.
- Listen.
Listen to me.
Sounds like whatever you did
back then, maybe you had to, OK?
What the hell are those anyway?
- Oh, like you don't know.
- What's that supposed to mean?
- OK, Jed, if you want
to play it that way.
- I told you, I don't
need no accusations.
- I saw you out there talking
to Russel and the men.
- Yeah, so?
- You all want to see me dead
or dying, but I'm still here.
- I only came here
tonight because I
wanted to get laid, OK?
And maybe that was my bad.
That's on me.
But I don't-- I don't care
what mistakes you made.
- You will.
Fuck me.
What the hell was that?
Hey, who's back there?
- Nobody.
- What do you mean, nobody?
Who's back there?
Are you playing games with me?
Is this fun for you?
Hey, who's back there?
Answer me, damn it.
- Dance with me.
- Shit.
Who's in here?
Open up.
What is this?
What, you got somebody
locked up in there?
What the hell are
you doing in here?
Answer me, Lilly.
What is this?
You ain't going to fucking move.
Hello?
Anyone in there?
I'm here to help.
Can you hear me?
Where's the key?
Where's the goddamn key?
OK.
- Stop!
All right.
All right.
You want to know?
You want to know everything?
It's what you already know.
It happened right there.
I was-- I don't know.
I never asked for a kid.
I didn't want one.
And then she came, and she
was so perfect and beautiful
and too good for me.
And I was fucking passed out in
the bathtub when it happened.
And she saw this little bag and
thought it was, I don't know,
sugar, and she--
she was really curious and--
We couldn't call
the cops, and he--
I didn't.
But I loved her so much.
So much.
I did all the best I could.
Really the best I could.
I have more love to give.
I have more.
So much more.
- Oh, what the fuck?
That's why you picked me up?
That's why you-- that's why you
got all these pregnancy tests
and shit around here?
I should call the fucking cops.
Maybe you aren't
fit to be a mom.
Maybe you aren't
fit to have a baby.
That ever cross your
fucking little mind?
Who is in here?
What the fuck is going on?
Fuck.
- No!
- Hey.
Hey, darling.
Come here.
- Shh.
It's only pain.
It only hurts for
a little while.
Like most everything.
I lied to you this morning.
I do believe in an afterlife.
You were right.
There's got to be something
comes after this, 'cause
I've seen it and felt it.
I can feel it right now.
I did love her.
I didn't know what that meant,
not really, what it looked like.
No one taught me.
But I could--
I can remember every
single bit of her.
That's how I know there
can't be just nothing.
She gave me so much, and I
never thought I'd feel it again.
And now it's like a
miracle I don't deserve.
It's happening.
It's happening anyway.
Oh, God.
God.
I remember your little hands.
The lines on your soft skin.
When your fingers wrapped around
mine and held on so tight.
I remember all of it.
I remember everything.
Shh.
Oh, it's OK.
It's all right, it's all
right, it's all right.
It's all right, it's all right.
I've got you, I got you.