Little Death (2024) Movie Script
1
I don't know.
When you guys work with actors,
do you ever talk about that stuff?
Not exactly.
How'd you feel about defending
somebody that you know is guilty?
Does it bother you at all?
I know it's part of your responsibility.
Well, there's always gonna be
someone guilty
and someone who's innocent, so...
you have to have both sides
of the argument, I guess.
That's very well said.
I was taught that
by a colleague of mine.
I totally stole it.
He actually does
really good TikToks.
Is he 14?
No, 47.
Oh, Martin, when you and Jessica
get back from Costa Rica,
you've got to meet my friend
P. Lyon Estelle.
Costa Rica! I'm so jealous.
- I had a magical time there as a teen.
- He's got a fabulous new show on Hulu
and he's looking to staff up
his writers' room.
Thank you, Lynette, but I'm--
I'm really just focusing on
getting my movie going right now.
Oh, yeah.
That's with Parallel, right?
- Yeah.
- Who?
Parallel is a little indie...
Parallel's a little smaller,
but more supportive of their artists.
- They're letting me direct it myself.
- Well, look at you,
stepping out from the dreary shadows
of the writers' room.
- Yeah, baby.
- Good for you.
What's it about?
Uh, my feature?
It's-it's, um...
That's a hard pitch.
But it's, um... it's very--
It's sort of personal.
It's about his childhood.
No, it's not, actually.
Who among us does not yearn
for the bliss that is adolescence?
Oh, yes.
That is why nostalgia always sells.
Right, much to the chagrin
of artists like me.
Because it turns out
that the masses
would far rather enjoy any
piece of postmodern dreck
than an actual examination
of true sentimentality.
That's just the way it is.
My childhood would be
a horror movie.
Right, so Parallel has secured financing?
Yeah, it's pretty much...
Pretty much a lock. Yeah.
Huh, alright.
Mm-hm.
But we all know how
your industry works, right?
They string you along for six months,
and you get your hopes up
for every new lead,
you think it's almost gonna happen,
almost gonna happen, and then it's just
dead in the water.
I think you should take that meeting
with the P. Lyon--
What was the last name?
I think that sounds
like a good idea.
Just in case, you know?
Oh, Jessica, you need to tell
Augustus about your new case,
'cause he would get
a real kick out of that.
It was just um...
My...
- my movie is getting made
- And I have a client who's--
so I don't need to take that meeting
- with P. Lyon whatever.
- Estelle.
Martin does have a little bit
of a stick up his ass
when it comes to TV,
that's just the way he is.
Nothing's stuck up my ass.
I've been staffing on shows for 17 years.
It's just you reach a point in life
when you need a change.
Yep.
And don't let him fool you.
He loves TV.
He watches it all night long.
Ooh, busted.
Mainly for the commercials.
They help me fall asleep.
Have you tried Ambien?
- Oh, yeah.
- Commercials? Martin,
we're living through
a golden age of television.
- No, no.
- That's widely acknowledged.
I'm so sick of hearing that.
Why? Why?
Because we could consume content
and send emails from the same screen?
Come on, when we were young, we used
to go to double features all the time.
Now, these drug-addled Gen Zers
can't even sit through one whole film.
No, really, they have no respect
for the communal aspect of the cinema.
Martin, forget the ritualistic woo-hoo
of the sanctity of the cinema, OK?
Artistically speaking,
is your writing not always an exercise
in examining existential truths?
Of course it is, always.
Well, in film, given the time constraints
of the medium,
you can really only explore
the nuanced perspectives
of one singular character.
Your hero.
Only his truth.
- Or hers.
- Or hers. Or theirs.
Television, however,
allows you to explore
a myriad of points of view.
And isn't truth always
inexorably entwined
in a multiplicity of perspectives?
JUNK
Fuck!
Why the fuck are you just
standing there, man?
Fucking do something.
What the fuck
am I supposed to do?
- Fuck.
- Stop yelling at me.
- We gotta go, man.
- Shut up!
You good?
Yeah, I'm good.
What did they have?
Greg said--
Yeah, you ain't got to worry
about that, man.
Now make this right.
- This right. This right!
- I am.
- Yo, the fuck was that?
- Yo, what the fuck was that?
You took the mutt?
What the fuck is going on?
Why'd you take
the fucking mutt?
I don't know, man, alright?
There was a lot going on in there.
What do you mean there
was a lot going on in there?
Why do you have a fucking dog?
Pull over!
Pull over or I'm throwing
that mutt out--
I'm not stopping
the fucking car!
Bitch, shut the fuck up!
This ain't your call!
- What the fuck?
- Chill the fuck out!
- Alright, fuck this.
- Trip, yo!
What the fuck is going on?
Shut the fuck up!
Leave her alone!
Put the fucking knife away,
you psycho!
Put your fucking hands
on the dash!
I'm gonna fucking
cut her throat.
Stop!
There you go. There you go.
Slow.
Nice and slow.
Nice and slow.
Now, both of you,
empty your pockets.
Phone, wallet,
put them in the cup holder.
Come on, man.
What the fuck?
Empty your fucking pockets, I said!
Everything. Now!
Now, now, now!
Oh, my God, Jesus.
Christ, man.
Come on, what the fuck?
Dog, just let her out
the fucking car, man.
- No!
- Fuck!
K, you good?
- Did they touch you?
- I'm OK.
Chill, chill, chill...
- Wait, wait, wait--
- What the fuck was that?
God.
Oh, my God.
Fucking...
- K, you good?
- Yeah.
You OK? You alright?
- Sure you're good?
- Yeah.
Fuck.
What are we gonna do, man?
We gotta call Greg.
I gotta get a phone. Fuck!
I knew we shouldn't've
fucked with them.
Car's under my dad's
fucking insurance!
Ah, fuck.
Alright, come on. I think my
cousin Cas lives around here.
Just like a few blocks up off Vermont.
- Really?
- Yeah.
God, I knew we shouldn't
have fucked with them.
Oh, wait.
- Buddy, come here.
- K, don't touch the fucking dog.
- It's just a baby.
- We don't need the dog right now.
- I'm not gonna fucking leave it.
- Oh, my God.
That thing's a fucking rat.
Probably got rabies.
I'm not leaving it like
those fucking crackheads.
- You're not bringing that thing inside.
- I don't want to just leave it here.
This little rat, man.
- Hello?
- Yo, Cas, it's...
It's AJ.
- AJ?
- Hey.
I'm sorry if we woke you.
I know it's late.
We're just in a bit of trouble.
This is Karla.
I don't know if y'all ever met.
You're Stella's sister, right?
Claim to fame.
So we were about to meet up
with our boy Greg at the 7-Eleven.
Two fools fucking pulled up.
One of them had a gun.
They fucking jacked K's car.
They took all our shit.
- Damn.
- Yeah.
Are you guys OK?
Yeah, I'm just a little shook.
I don't know. Do you have a phone
I could use, maybe a laptop?
Yeah, of course.
Come on in.
Thank you.
It's been a minute. For real.
Shit, you got a kid?
Make sure you cancel all your
credit cards. I got fucked on that once.
AJ, you should do
"Find My iPhone."
Oh, thank you.
Yo, do you have Greg's number?
That's what I'm trying to find.
I didn't mean
to wake the baby, man.
How old is he?
She's eight months.
Eight long months.
She's so cute.
What's her name?
Her name is Mag.
Can you say--
Can you say wassup, Mag?
Oh, do you mind if I take
a call in the other room?
- Yeah, go for it.
- Thanks.
AJ...
Are you really fucking
your ex-girlfriend's sister?
- What? No.
- AJ.
That's the homie.
What do you mean?
She went to SMC with me.
We went to Thanksgiving
at your parents.
Woulda liked to see ya.
Yeah. No, I mean, I got this...
I've been grinding
with this new business idea,
so I'm trying to...
focus on that.
When you have
finished recording,
you may hang up or press 1
for more options.
Yo, Greg, it's Karla.
Can you just give me a call back
at this number as soon as you hear this?
Some really fucked up shit
happened and...
Yeah, it's an emergency.
So just give me a call back.
You know, back in the day,
I used to know
every single one of my
friends' numbers from memory.
Now I couldn't even tell you
my husband's.
You want some tea?
I'm OK. Thank you, though.
Some water?
Actually, if you have any alcohol,
I could really use a
drink-drink right now.
Not in this house.
Sorry.
You look like a smart girl.
Thanks, but I'm not that smart.
Well, you don't tell anyone that,
and they'll think you are.
You got a look.
I really like your baby's name,
by the way.
Is Mag short for Maggie?
Magnetic.
So I'm in New York
and I'm shocked.
The street food is ass.
Like the hot dogs
are literally made of assholes, right?
- Yeah.
- So I'm like,
what if I took a real
authentic LA taco truck,
put it in the middle of Brooklyn?
It would fucking go crazy, right?
But you're telling me, there are
no taco trucks in New York?
Yeah, there are,
but they're all trash.
Our shit's gonna be way more fire,
you know what I'm saying?
We're gonna have
all the real shit, man.
The al pastor with little pineapple.
Shit's cracked.
Yeah. Nah, you're not gonna
find me at no spot like that.
What?
- Can I be real with you?
- Yeah.
I love everything you're doing, bro.
The passion, the energy.
I see you vibrating, it's amazing.
But right now,
the future is like, life,
living foods, like fruit, vegetables.
We don't need more dead flesh.
I don't wanna judge you.
I'm not trying to
take away from anything
that you're doing, but...
it feels like it's time
to, you know,
maybe switch something up.
What are you two
talking about?
- Oh, man.
- Some real shit.
- Don't get him started on this shit.
- We vibing over here.
He's just telling me about his new
business. He's got this meeting tomorrow.
It sounds incredible.
- Yeah?
- Yeah, no, yeah.
I got the, uh,
the business strategy,
like, the marketing schematics,
the branding concepts.
I spent like six hours
at fucking Staples
trying to get this shit
laminated yesterday and I...
Fuck, one second.
The keys are on top
of the back right tire.
- Yeah, yeah, exactly, exactly.
- K.
I'm gonna text
you the address right now.
I'm talking to Tilly.
She's gonna pick us up.
Dude, you're a fucking lifesaver.
I love you.
OK, see you soon.
OK. Bye.
- What?
- Did you see my bag in your car?
My little green backpack?
Did I have it with me
when you picked me up earlier?
Bro, you had me
pop the trunk for you.
No, 'cause I...
Fuck!
- Fuck.
- Shut the fuck up.
AJ, what is going on?
I'm sorry, thank you for everything.
We have to go, come on. We have to go.
- What do you mean?
- Seriously. Thank you so much.
What do you think of Dewey?
- What?
- Like, Dewey for its name?
Think he kind of looks like a Dewey.
K...
do you really not give a fuck?
Our shit just got jacked.
- It's gonna be fine.
- You don't know that.
That fucking backpack had everything.
I'm fucked for this meeting tomorrow.
OK, well, what time
is your meeting?
Nine.
Bro, that's like
ten hours from now.
We're gonna find Greg at this party,
he'll get our shit back.
You'll body your meeting.
I'll have my little brunch with Stella
and we'll link up
at the river at noon.
I thought the Stella thing
was at noon.
Yeah, it was supposed
to be at noon, but...
She had to move it.
She had some shit with her boyfriend.
She's still with fucking Google guy?
Google guy?
Not you calling him "Google guy"
when they've been together for a year.
- Salty.
- Whatever.
I'm just saying, 9am is not brunch,
that's breakfast.
It's brunch if you want it to be brunch.
It's not that deep.
No, no.
Brunch is breakfast food
served at lunch,
by definition.
If it has the vibe of a brunch,
then it's a brunch.
- Mimosas, French toast...
- What are you talking about?
Like, that's a vibe.
Yo...
Finally.
You're so lucky
it's your birthday
and that I love you.
I almost crashed this thing
like 15 times.
Till, thank you so much.
So what the fuck
happened to you guys?
You got robbed?
- Yeah.
- It was a whole thing.
Did you call the cops?
I mean, yeah, but they're
not about to do shit, so...
OK.
- What's up, Rickey?
- Hey.
What's good?
Say something, Dewey.
Hey, guys. I'm Brian.
Hey. Karla.
I actually think
I met you guys
last year at Chico's
Fourth of July.
One of my messier nights.
Yep, I remember that one.
If I'm not mistaken,
you almost blew your hand off
with a firecracker, right?
Yes, that was me.
Again, not one of my finest moments.
What's up with your boy?
He xaned out or what?
Nah, he's just chill as fuck.
This is Dewey.
Say hi, Dewey.
Hi, Dewey.
AJ, this is the big truck
you've been gassing me up
on this entire time?
Yo, this shit is all fucked up.
I thought it was supposed to be clean.
Rickey, you wanna walk to the party?
- No.
- Fuck...
"Hey, Rickey,
you wanna walk to the party?"
- Yo, whose party is this?
- I don't know, ask Brian.
Brian, what are we walking into right now?
This is concerning.
- You're looking for Greg.
- You brought us here.
Yo, Greg!
Shit, man. The fucking thing
is yoked up, dog!
If I lose another
fucking race to that pig.
- Yo!
- I know what the deal is,
you cheating-ass bitch.
You're pumping it full of adrenochrome!
- Hey, yo, yo.
- Oh, shit, bro.
Yo, we gotta talk to you right now.
Oh, Karlita, happy birthday, yo.
What the fuck is that little thing?
Jesus Christ.
Can we go talk, please?
So then the other dude
pulls out a knife,
puts it to K's throat.
- Crazy shit.
- A fucking knife?
Some gangster-ass shit, man.
It's fucking hard.
It's not funny, though.
They took our phones, our wallets,
and took off with my fucking car.
So they took the pills too?
- What?
- The pills? Bro, fuck the pills.
- They took my bag.
- Alright, alright.
With my laptop,
my phone, all my shit.
Can you call them?
Yo, honestly,
I barely even know
those fools like that.
I thought those were your homies.
What do you mean
you barely know those fools?
My homies?
No, they're the fucking homies--
Grady's homies.
- Who the fuck is Grady?
- Chill, fool.
Grady's the fucking head honcho, dog.
He's the money man.
He's the boss.
Fool thinks he's like
my best friend or some shit.
I make one call,
get your shit back
like that, man.
Yo, y'all need a little sumthin' sumthin'
to hold you over?
- Yes.
- You know I got you, son.
Hold you over.
Vicodin-5s? Get the fuck out of here.
Where are the blues?
Bro, are you serious, man?
It's all I fucking got, dude.
Grady has blues for sure.
We'll go pick up right now.
Let's go. What are we doing?
- Let's go. Come on.
- Whoa, whoa.
Give me five minutes.
Ten minutes, tops.
No, no, no. Five tops.
I got so much fucking money
on this pig race, bro.
I'm down fucking bad, son.
- You have 10--
- Five, 10 min-- 10.
Fine, 10 minutes we meet back here.
No games. No bullshit.
10 minutes. Give me those.
- Yo.
- What's up?
I thought you guys
were looking for Greg.
Yeah, I don't know.
I'm just going to let
AJ handle it, I guess.
I feel you.
You smoke?
A little.
- Here.
- Thank you.
Feel so posh.
Any big plans
for your birthday or...?
Yeah, I mean, well, I don't know.
AJ and I have this tradition.
There's a spot we found on
the LA River and it's like...
It's cool. It's like where all the
concrete meets this like...
lush...
greenery.
I don't know.
It's really cool.
It's not what the rest
of the LA River looks like.
And we go out there and smoke
and just kind of look at
what's left of it.
But he has this meeting
thing tomorrow,
so it might not happen.
How long you guys
been together?
AJ and I are not together.
He's my boy.
OK, sick.
Let's go!
Go green!
Come on, green!
Let's go!
You slow as fuck!
- Come on!
- Come on.
You don't have a girlfriend, right?
Nah.
I just got out of a long relationship.
Fuck, I'm sorry.
It's fine, you know?
Took me to a dark place, though.
That was, like, the saddest
I've ever been.
I was so depressed, I thought I was
gonna have to check into a psych ward.
Yeah.
Well, I've actually been to one, so...
Wait, what?
Yeah, high school was rough, man.
My parents...
like, actually, like, checked me into one.
No, it's not like--
I'm not, like, crazy or anything.
- Oh.
- It was like, whatever.
What would make you think
I thought you were crazy?
The fact that you were in a...
- Right?
- ...mental hospital? I don't know.
Yeah. I got to skip the PSATs.
That's one way to look at it, you know?
Glass half full, I guess.
Yeah.
I don't know, what's the point if you're
not gonna look at things glass half full?
Even tonight.
It was a shitty night,
but I ended up here,
ended up meeting you.
It's like, I don't know, maybe...
potentially a cool story
of how we met.
Yeah, I think, uh...
Oh, my God. I--
No, no, no. It's like...
- That's not what I meant. I'm dead.
- It's just, I think, like...
I'm still trying to figure out
what happened in my last relationship
and just, you know, all those...
Yeah, no, that sounds really hard.
Yeah, just...
If I felt like myself, maybe, but...
Oh, bro, I didn't mean to imply.
I was just--
Well, that's cool then.
You want to go back in
and meet up with your homies or...?
Uh, yeah, as soon as I finish this.
Well, it was good hanging.
Always a pleasure.
I'll be... around here.
This party is dead anyways, bro.
Told you 20 minutes ago.
We should fucking dip.
- Happy birthday.
- Mm, thanks.
Fuck off.
Heads up, y'all,
this guy's a little bit...
I don't know how to describe him.
Like sus?
Not sus like those
fuckers that robbed you.
It's more like...
It's chill right now, but...
fool's, like, on some school shooter,
serial killer vibe.
Like, one day, I swear,
he's just gonna fucking...
- Shoot shit up, man.
- Jesus fucking Christ.
- He's chill, though. He's chill.
- What?
Yo, Grady.
Glad to see you're still up, man.
Is that a Chihuahua?
Yeah, I don't know.
We think so.
I just found him tonight.
- What the fuck was that?
- I don't know.
Shoes.
Grizzly bears will devour
anything in their path.
Contrary to popular belief,
they're far from strict carnivores...
Put that down, Greg.
You guys, sit, sit.
...shellfish,
their appetite knows no bounds...
I really like your place, man.
It has, like, a cool...
aesthetic to it.
It's white.
...scavenging...
So what's up?
You tryna cop?
Of course, man, but...
first I gotta talk to you about some shit.
Remember those goons,
Trip and Cam?
You mean those guys
I told you never to fuck with?
I wasn't fucking with them, man.
I just linked them up
with these fools.
Yo, they jacked all their shit, man.
They jacked K's fucking car, dude.
Can you call them up,
see if you can get their shit back?
Yo, could you ask them if they
saw a green backpack in the trunk?
OK.
...the largest asserting dominance
over prime fishing spots.
They use their size
and commanding demeanor
to claim what they desire.
In more inland habitats,
the bear employs
alternative hunting strategies.
What did they say?
Not much.
I don't talk details over the phone,
but sounds like I'll be able
to work something out for you guys.
Thank you.
They did make one thing
super clear, though.
If they ever see you again,
they're gonna fucking kill you.
That's some fucking bullshit.
What the fuck did I do, man?
So are you gonna--
Are you gonna go...?
I said, I'll work it out...
bro.
Yo, man, you got those blues still?
- Mm-hm.
- Let me get...
five of those, dude.
It's 100, right?
- 150.
- Right, right.
Kind of steep, no?
You want them or not?
Obviously, bro.
Obviously. Come on.
Alright, Grady, man,
I'm gonna get out of your hair, bro,
but...
hit me up if you hear back
from those fucking turkeys, dude.
They need to get their shit back, man.
Greg, sit down.
What's wrong?
You trying to pass me
a counterfeit bill, Greg?
Counterfeit, bro?
What the fuck, man?
Yo, this guy's nuts.
Let's get the fuck out of here.
Just call me, dog.
- I said sit the fuck down.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
What the fuck, dude?
- Chill out, man.
- Oh, God.
Put that shit away, Grady.
We're gonna play fuck fuck?
- Whoa. What the fuck?
- What?
Put that down, Grady.
Greg, sit down.
Alright, bro. Alright.
- Dude, sit down.
- Slow, chill.
Fucking A, dog.
This is fake.
- No. No. No it's not, bro.
- A counterfeit bill.
You see those zeros?
Are you fucking serious?
How they're rounded?
You ever see zeros
all rounded like that?
Give him another fucking bill.
- I don't have another fucking bill.
- Give him back the pills.
Hell no, man!
Zeros are fucking round, Grady.
It's the nature of a fucking zero, dog.
It's an old-ass bill, man.
You think I would do you
like that, bro?
We're homies, man.
Homies?
When was the last time
you came to kick it
when you did not need
something from me, Greg?
And then you come into my home,
where I sleep,
with two complete strangers
to do a business transaction!
Oh, chill, dog.
I do not know what
your intentions are, Greg.
- Intentions?
- But I do not like them.
- What the fuck, bro?
- Not one bit, bro.
After all the money
we made together?
Like I'm some broke-ass bum?
- Yo, yo!
- What the fuck, bro?
- Slow the fuck down.
- Are you serious, bro?
Now you're gonna raise
that shit on me?
Fucking foul, dog.
Can I just say, we don't have
any intentions--
Shut the fuck up. We don't have
intentions or whatever you're saying.
Greg is just an asshole. And he doesn't
respond to my texts or calls either.
And seriously, on the way over,
he said some really nice shit about you.
And he called you his best friend.
I don't know what shit
is going on with you guys,
but it sounds like you guys
really care about each other.
Could you just Google the bill and see
if the zeros are the same like he said?
Look that shit up, Grady.
Yo, people make mistakes.
It's OK.
Yeah.
I bet it's real.
That's right.
Come on, bring it in, bro.
Put that shit away,
you fucking psycho, man.
It's all love, dog.
Come on,
let's get the fuck outta here, man.
Call me up, dog.
Shit.
Sorry, Greg.
You know, that hundred
was fake as fuck.
No, you're lying.
No way.
You're lying.
That's fucked up.
Yo, Karlita.
Dewey is a trash name
for this fucking guy.
I like Rat.
We're not calling it Rat.
Avocado.
- Wow.
- Wow.
I present you...
- Avocado.
- Avocado.
That's perfect. Avocado.
I gotta take a leak, alright?
I'll be fucking back.
Yo, AJ.
Hmm?
Who leaves their dog at home
when they go on vacation?
I love this one.
So absolute in its simplicity.
I think it's one
of Carter's finest.
By emphasizing
the frontal plane,
she has denied her audience
any allusion to the classical
window of art.
Oh, but it's beyond
a mere exercise in form.
YOU ARE DUMB
YOU ARE DUMB. YOU ARE DUMB. YOU ARE DUMB.
I have a constant fear
that I'm on the outside.
Like there's some core part of life
that I'm not understanding.
Or a big joke I'm not in on.
We all know how
your industry works, right?
They string you along for six months
and then you get your hopes up
for every new lead
and you think it's almost gonna happen,
and then it's just dead in the water.
Why'd you say that thing
about my feature?
What thing?
That it'll never get made.
I didn't say that.
Maybe not explicitly, but
these people can read
between the lines, Jess.
It's called subtext.
I'm sorry
that's how you took it,
but it's not what I meant
and it's not what I said.
Aside from your order,
it's pretty much
all you said all night.
It's just really so...
boring.
And I sometimes wish
that we had friends
with real issues that have
really meaningful conversations.
Right. Like that brunch
we had with your teacher friend.
- Sarah.
- Sarah.
Where all she did
the entire time
was complain
about how shitty kids are
and how little she gets paid.
Oh, no, no.
That was a blast.
At least it's education.
You're not exactly curing cancer, Martin.
We haven't had sex in 23 nights.
Maybe it's cancer.
Maybe she'll die.
My uncle Saul died of cancer.
DANIEL No, it's at ten AM.
JORDANA Whatever, I'm just saying ten AM
is not brunch. That's breakfast.
DANIEL No, it's brunch.
It's brunch if you say it's brunch.
EXT. CASSANDRA'S BUILDING - NIGHDaniel and Jordana
exit the apartment building.
DANIEL
Lately I've been having these dreams...
Who is she?
What's she trying to tell me?
Your mother's uterus.
The barn house.
The one from your dream.
It represents your mother's uterus.
You in her warm, safe embrace.
The comfort
before entering this world.
With all due respect, Doctor,
how does that help me?
How's my mother's uterus
gonna bring me...
I just feel so... empty.
Like, if you look at my life,
it's just... there's nothing.
It's just a blank... canvas.
It means nothing.
All I have is her.
This woman I don't even know,
who isn't even real.
You are depressed.
Have you been taking
your Lexapro as prescribed?
Yes, and we see
how pleasant it's made me.
I'd like to start you off
on a low dose of Dexaprine.
Ten milligrams,
once in the morning.
But can we--
Can we forget the pills?
And the...
dream analysis?
Can we just talk, please?
I just need...
I just need some advice.
My advice?
Try the Dexaprine.
Lexapro, Vyvanse,
Wellbutrin, Oxycodone,
Xanax, Klonopin,
Trazodone,
and now Dexaprine.
There's really only two types
of drug addicts in the world.
The ones that have
their names on the pill bottle
and the ones who don't.
Form the image
of a snow globe in your mind.
Breathe deeply.
The snow globe contains
all of your thoughts and anxieties
shaken back and forth
like the thoughts fluttering
through your head.
- Your mind now settles...
- So...
...relaxes.
- ...how you doing today?
- As still as the snowflakes
- nestled together.
- Huh?
- How's your day going?
- Oh, yeah.
- Can't complain.
- Yeah.
Say, I'm not doing too bad myself.
Place the snow globe
- on a bookshelf.
- What do you do?
Oh, I'm a...
I'm a sweatshop worker.
I work in a sweatshop.
Eleven seasons of America's
favorite body swap comedy...
The Switch, on NBC.
My only contribution to society.
- Are you...
- Me?
- And I'm...
- You!
No!
When I was a kid, I dreamt
of being a great novelist.
But Hollywood offered
something more.
The validation, the power,
the attention that follows.
At the end of the day,
every writer just wants
to hear three little words.
It's your masterpiece.
Honey,
did you take Nelson out yet?
Honey, did you take
Nelson out yet?
The reality is,
this is the fifth draft
I've written of my script
in the last 14 months.
It's a simple story,
sentimental and honest.
No bullshit animation or voiceover.
Just people having real conversations.
Every single time,
I get the same note
from every person
who reads it.
They love the script
but hate the main character.
They find him petty,
cynical, and clich.
He feels entitled to love
but resents anyone
who gives it to him.
I get it.
It's hard to empathize
with someone so self-centered.
I tried giving the character
a tragic backstory.
I made him a vegan.
I even gave him a dog.
Nothing worked.
No matter what,
the character at the core
just isn't likable.
Last week, the studio
gave me a new suggestion.
We think that Daniel...
could be a woman.
Um...
Yeah.
You want me to change
the main character's gender?
Yeah.
The character based on my life?
Yes.
Well, I mean...
I could try.
It just might sorta...
complicate the narrative.
Mm-hmm, I hear you.
The thing is, that might just
complicate our ability
to greenlight this project.
Look, we've told you before
that Daniel is not
the most likable character.
Martin, buddy, I just got
off the phone with Parallel.
I heard the meeting was amazing.
This new idea is
a home fucking run.
Just change Daniel to Danielle.
It's as simple as "find and replace".
It's not that simple.
Ah, it's-- Martin,
if the studio wants
a female protagonist,
who are you to tell them
they're wrong?
Think about all the film scripts
you've had optioned over the years.
Where are they now?
- On a shelf.
- Thanks.
Come on, you remember your script
about the guy who dies in 9/11?
Jason, that was
a dumb hacky comedy.
A comedy?
Martin, there were no jokes.
I'm sick of writing jokes.
I want to write something true.
I have written something true.
Look, do you realize
how lucky you are that,
at your age,
with your credits,
you're finally getting
the opportunity
to do the thing that you've been
talking about since the day we met.
To write and direct
your own feature film.
This is the dream,
right here on a silver fucking platter.
Now, do you want it or not?
Trust me, the critics
are gonna eat this shit up.
Look at him.
Not a creative bone in his body.
Maybe I should just kill
this movie before it kills me.
Get out now
while I still have some dignity.
- No way.
- Yeah.
But this one was like,
I think I saw this one video
of this, like, monkey,
like, on his shoulder.
You're gonna have so much fun.
- I'm gonna have so much fun.
- Hi.
Oh, bubs.
This is Ronny.
He's in my bowling league.
- Ah.
- You remember,
you guys met a couple times.
- Right.
- What's up, man?
Hi.
We were just celebrating.
Ronny started this after-school
drama program for underprivileged youth.
Wow. You must be a really good guy.
I just...
count my blessings, you know?
Comes with the territory.
You still write for...
What is it called?
What is it called?
What is it called?
- The Switch, yeah.
- The Switch.
- I was about to say.
- Yeah.
So funny, dude.
- Some great jokes there.
- Thanks.
You know what else is funny?
Guess who's gonna be in Costa Rica
just a couple days after us?
We're gonna overlap.
Wow.
Hilarious.
Snagged the same Groupon deal
from last month.
I'm so excited.
Oh, actually,
Jess was just telling me
about this new case of hers.
- Come join us.
- He doesn't wanna hear about my work.
- Oh, sure he does.
- Oh...
- Come on, sit down.
- ...sure, I do.
Are you kidding?
What a thrill.
So, anyways, he's this former
high school football star,
and last year,
he tears his ACL
and is given OxyContin
and becomes deeply addicted...
I only asked her to marry me
because I knew she'd say yes.
She's always saying yes.
Yes to new friends,
yes to another glass of wine,
yes to a fucking bowling league.
Me, I have nothing.
No hobbies.
No children.
Nothing.
Just a script I'll never finish
and a woman I'll never meet.
Mr Solomon.
Mr Solomon.
Here you go.
Uh... there's no Xanax.
Facts.
Wha-- there's supposed to be Xanax here.
- I need my refill.
- Let's see, let's see.
Solomon... Xanax.
Oh, no refill till next week.
Oh, no, no, no.
I need it today, OK?
I'm going out of town tonight,
and I don't need this Oxy.
OK, I've told you guys
for months now
that I don't need this.
I haven't been taking it since December,
it's just been piling up at my house.
But the Xanax I need, OK?
So, can you...
You're not gonna get it
till next Tuesday.
You're not up for a refill.
You need to call my doctor, OK?
Because there's supposed
to be a vacation override.
Dude.
Chill.
Jess.
Jessica!
Sorry, I'm just-- I'm trying
to get some work done here.
Go to your hidey-hole.
This is a kitchen. I'm sorry
for preparing food. Jesus.
Oh, I gotta ask you something.
Can you drop off Nelson
at the Knuddmans' at 2?
I have to go to the office
to drop off the affidavits,
we have to come back here,
do all of the laundry,
which is mostly yours,
then we have to finish packing,
then I have my league game at 5
just thought that would be really helpful
if you could do that.
So, can you do it or not?
You know, I don't know, Jess.
I sort of have a bunch of work
I'm trying--
It's fine.
I'll do it, I'll take Nelson too
and I'll just figure it out,
like I always do.
And we can travel
with unwashed clothes.
'Cause that's what you would
be doing if I wasn't here.
Don't worry...
...yet again...
...get it all done.
OK, I'll do it.
I'll fucking do it, OK?
Just leave me alone for
a goddamn second, please!
Fuck. I'm sorry.
Jess, wait, please. I'm sorry.
That was out of line.
Look, I'm just so stressed out
about the movie, OK?
It'll be good to get away.
Right. OK.
Oh, what is wrong with me?
$8.95.
Sign, please.
The pen is too short.
I need you to sign
on the screen.
I'm trying.
- The pen doesn't reach.
- Sir.
You just have to sign the screen.
Am I losing my mind?
Fuck.
Costa Rica.
Just kill me.
Can I help you?
Um, do you work here?
No.
But you've been staring at me
looking as though you want something.
Have we met before?
No, I don't believe we have.
Do you have something to tell me?
Um, because there's, uh...
I have something
I have to say to you,
and I know it's gonna
sound totally crazy, but...
What's your name?
That depends who's asking.
Right, of course. Martin.
Martin Chester Solomon.
I'm 46 years old.
I'm a Libra.
Born October 4, 1976
in Westchester, New York.
But I live here
in Beachwood Canyon.
Um, I'm a TV staff writer.
Why am I getting
your life story right now?
Well, I don't know.
I just figured you'd be
wary of some sweaty stranger
staring at you,
and so now I'm not a stranger.
I'm just sweaty and staring.
- You are a TV writer?
- Unfortunately, yeah.
What show?
The Switch, on NBC.
Oh, yeah, I've--
I've seen ads for it.
I've never actually watched it.
It looks awful.
Oh, it is, trust me.
Are you, are you an actress?
You know, not every pretty woman
in this city is an actress.
- No, I didn't mean--
- But yes, I act.
Can I tell you about
this new project I'm directing?
So it's about this
moderately successful writer,
and, um, she's...
she's this new age, big city girl
facing a crisis of meaning.
And she's estranged from her
very strict and traditional family.
You know, I find writers don't make
for very rich, dramatic characters.
They're too introspective,
too self-aware of their own flaws.
- What sort of writer is she?
- She's not a creative writer.
- See, she's a journalist.
- Oh.
And she's writing this big expos
about the opioid crisis.
But when her father dies,
she has to go back to her hometown, right?
For the funeral.
Did your father die?
Yeah, about seven years ago.
Were you close?
- Not really.
- Hm.
So, as I was saying...
it's really about
her having to go back home,
right, and confront
the demons of her past.
I know it sounds sort of hacky
when I pitch it,
but if you were to read the script,
I think you'd feel the heart.
Well, send it.
I'd love to read it.
- Really?
- Yeah.
What's your email?
Here.
Sorry.
Here it is.
I, um...
I put my number in as well.
Woman in record store, wha--
What's your real name?
Hi.
Yes, I've thought about it.
I will do it.
OK. No, no.
Jason, I'm telling you.
I found her. I have her.
She's unreal.
But if I make the changes,
I want full control over casting.
My movie. My cast.
I thought you had a league game.
What are you doing here?
I thought you had a league game.
I did, but then four of the players from
the other team got salmonella poisoning
from their team dinner last night,
so we've won by forfeit.
Well, congrats.
Did you come to watch my game?
That's so sweet.
You never come to see
my league games.
- You want some nachos?
- No, thanks.
Jess...
listen, do you think we can--
Oh, did you pack?
Did you drop off Nelson?
No, sorry.
It's OK.
We can do it on the way out.
It's fine.
Hey, bubs.
Will you bowl one for me?
No, Jess.
No, I don't think so.
Please? I love it when you bowl.
- I really do. Just one frame.
- No.
No, you love ridiculing
the way I bowl.
Please.
Please?
- One frame. One frame.
- That's fine.
Look, it's my last one.
It's a gift.
Here, I think that's light enough.
There. Happy?
I love it. I love it.
It's so ridiculous
and so bizarre...
and yet somehow it just works.
Love you.
Alright, let's get out of here.
Hey, Jess, I'm...
I'm not going.
I'm not going
to Costa Rica with you.
What do you mean you're not... going?
I can't.
I just-- I can't.
But you should go without me.
OK? Listen, you'll have
a better time anyway.
You can hang out with Ronny, right?
- Wait, this is about Ronny?
- No.
- No, it's not--
- There's nothing going on.
No, it's not, it's not, it's about--
- It's me.
- OK.
OK? I'm-- I'm...
I'm sick.
You're sick?
I mean, emotionally.
I'm... I'm not well.
I haven't been well...
for some time.
What are you doing?
SPLIT!!
Jessica, wait, you don't understand.
No, I don't fucking understand.
You've been rambling on
about some wet dream
you had about a woman
and my mole.
Look, I know you're angry, OK,
but what you're not
understanding is that
I'm doing this for you, too.
- Oh, my God.
- OK? No, really.
One day, you're gonna thank me.
Really, Jessica, because
I care about you, OK?
It's because I love you.
Fuck you.
You love me.
You don't do this to someone
that you fucking love.
You just told me you love some girl
that you met five minutes ago.
Love is a stupid word, OK?
No, really, no--
Do you know, in Italian,
there are 16 different words
that translate in English to love?
Sixteen, Jess.
OK, that's maybe
'cause you shouldn't love your fiance
like you love bowling.
Uh-huh.
Look...
I'm sorry. I really am.
The thing is, Martin,
is you're not.
You're not sorry.
You're never sorry.
You just...
want people to feel sorry for you.
And I don't.
I don't.
I do feel sorry
for the next girl though,
who might actually
feel sorry for you.
I had this epiphany recently.
I kept asking myself
why I was with someone
who's, you know,
so fucking miserable
all the time.
And I thought maybe it's because
it helps me feel better
about myself,
my trauma, I don't know.
But then I realized...
that what you do is
you drag me down with you
into this dark abyss
of pitiful self-loathing
and fucking misery.
And it's starting to make me
reconsider everything I love.
But then I was like,
no, fuck that.
We have a vacation planned.
I want to go away with you.
I wanna remember what it's like
to have fun with you, and maybe...
maybe we're gonna
fucking talk about it!
Just once!
But no, you're too self-centered,
you can't give me that.
I understand, it's not a big deal.
I just don't think that there is
a female muse on this planet
that could spark any joy
out of that tortured persona
that you fucking love so much.
Maybe there is.
I don't know, maybe there's a woman who
takes pity on you
and tries her fucking hardest.
But it's not gonna work.
Because you're never gonna be happy.
And that makes me happy.
BOWL
FIND: DANIEL, REPLACE: DANIELLE
REPLACE ALL
HIS/HER
MOTHER/FATHER
I'M/YOU'RE
Hi, it's Martin Solomon.
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, it's Martin Solomon
from the, um, from the record store.
From the, uh...
Hey, it's Martin from the record--
Oh, fuck.
No.
What?
OK.
In.
Out.
Yo, Cam.
- Yo, Cam.
- What?
You see this?
Yeah, it's a dog.
No shit it's a dog.
What the fuck is it doing here?
Who cares?
There's no car in the driveway, alright?
They're definitely gone.
Let's clear out the rest of the shit
and get out of here.
You've got the pills, right?
What do you think I was doing
in the bathroom for ten minutes,
taking a shit?
- What the fuck are you doing, dude?
- Shut the fuck up.
Holy shit! Holy shit!
What the-- Oh fuck!
Shit!
Fuck!
Is he...
Oh, shit.
Oh, fuck.
Fuck, man.
Greg fucking fucked us!
Chill the fuck out, man!
Let's get out of here!
Grab everything
you fucking can, man.
Y'all don't want to order anything?
No, I'm good.
You sure?
I feel like y'all should take advantage
while you can, I mean...
this shit's gonna be
something of the past, man.
You know those motherfuckers at Davos,
World Economic Forum...
that fucker Bill Gates
and his foundation...
buying up all the farmland, man.
They don't want you eating
this shit no more, man.
They want you getting your
fucking protein from crickets, dog.
Fucking guys, man, telling you,
watch them cook up
the next fake shit, man,
some fake famine.
Next thing you know,
you're eating bugs all day.
Bug diners, bug restaurants...
Bug brunch.
Bug fuckin' brunch.
Low key...
I've been on that shit.
Fuck going vegan.
I'd be eating bugs.
Yo, Greg, who was, um...
who was that guy
whose house you sent us to?
I don't fuckin' know.
Some guy that comes
by the pharmacy.
This dude came the other day,
and he was fucking tweaked
out of his mind, man.
Talking about, "I need my xannies,
I need my xannies."
This fuckin' guy thinks that he can
get his shit five days early
'cause he's going on vacation, bro.
I'm like, please.
I look up this dude on the computer.
This dude is a full-on
fucking junkie, man.
This dude's got scripts for everything.
Oh, but this motherfucking guy's dentist
is prescribing him Oxy
every fuckin' week.
Oxy, Oxy, Oxy.
This fucking guy told me the other day
he's not even taking them.
Damn.
Honestly, this fool's a victim
of Big Pharma, man.
Yo, you know, New Zealand and America's
the only motherfucking country
that you can advertise
pharmaceuticals on TV?
Shit's fucking foul, man, I swear.
Yo, brunch as a mindset?
Yo, that's fucking fire, dude.
So we just ate brunch then, huh?
Yeah, I mean,
that's the whole point.
Like, it's brunch if you
want it to be brunch.
Bro, don't let her confuse you.
It is 4am, that is not brunch.
But brunch exceeds
all time and space.
Bro, brunch is literally
only on Sundays.
No, exactly.
That's what I'm saying.
If it were a normal meal, it'd be
recognized every day of the week.
The fact that it's only on Sundays
proves that it's something more.
Like, it's a vibe, I said that,
- it's an energy.
- Yo, let's go.
- Fucking Grady, dog.
- Let's go.
Alright, man.
Yo, man.
What's good, bro?
Uh-huh?
All good?
Yeah, yeah.
Yo...
Bro, come on.
Yeah, wait, what?
Your snow globe?
Bro, what the fuck are
you talking about, dude?
What's he saying
about the snow globe?
I-- Yo, I wouldn't take your
- fucking snow globe, man.
- Yo, yo, yo, chill.
Stop acting like
a fuckin' little bitch, dog.
Greg, absolutely stop that.
Chill, chill.
I got this fool.
Yo, honestly, Grady, bro,
this is why I never come
to your house no more.
What the fuck are you doing?
That's why I never bring
the homies over, man.
You're a needy-ass
- little bitch, Grady, man.
- What are you doing?
Suck my fucking dick.
- What the fuck was that?
- What the fuck?
That's it, bro.
What did you just do?
Yo, honestly, that's just it.
Your shit is fucking gone.
Did you take
his fucking snow globe?
Are you fucking serious?
After he pulled a gun on us,
you think I'm gonna take
his fucking snow globe?
Then fucking call him back.
- Call him back.
- Bro, it's not gonna happen, dog.
You need to fucking chill.
It's not fucking happening.
I cannot believe
how badly you fucked us.
He told you
not to fuck with those guys.
- I'm sorry.
- And you had us give 'em a fucking ride.
What the fuck
do you want me to do?
I want you to fucking call him.
If you're not gonna call him,
tell us where they are
so we can pull up on them.
We can pull up?
"Pull up"?
Bro, he's gonna fucking stab you, dog.
- These fools are psycho, yo.
- You're just a pussy.
They're gonna beat
my fucking ass, yo.
What do you think they're gonna do
to this fucking shrimp boy?
Y'all act like you're the only ones
who are victims here.
- Oh, my God.
- I was supposed to get
- half that fucking stash!
- I don't give a fuck!
What the fuck?
Get the fuck off me, man!
Let me see your pockets.
Yo, get the fuck off me!
- Fucking liar!
- Yo, yo, man.
- You motherfucker.
- Yo, fuck!
You piece of shit!
I cannot believe
you actually took
his fucking snow globe.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
These fools are
on some dark-ass shit, man!
- Oh, my God.
- You fucked us.
Bro, these fools are fucking vicious.
You fucked us, man!
What the fuck!
Fuck, you guys.
Bro, my bad, man.
I didn't want it to go this way.
Y'all are my fucking friends, man.
Fuck off with that "friends" bullshit.
Like Grady's your fucking friend?
You're not our friend.
You're a fucking drug dealer.
That's all you are to anyone, bro,
fuck off.
- AJ?
- Hm?
I think we should call the cops.
And say what?
I don't know. I think we should
just tell them the truth.
Like...
actually, how bad could it be?
We didn't go in the house.
We don't know what happened,
so it's not really on us.
What the fuck do you think
happened in the house?
Stop pretending like
you don't know what happened.
The intel was bullshit,
there was no vacation,
the dude made it up to get
his fucking pills early,
and they killed him.
- We don't know that.
- They fucking killed him.
Why do you think when they got in the car,
it was so sketchy?
Why do you think
they had a fucking dog?
God, I got this meeting in two hours,
and I'm never gonna get
my fucking bag back.
I'm not getting
my fucking car back either.
I'm sure Mommy and Daddy'll
get you a new one.
Oh, fuck you.
I'm trying to think
things through,
you're just being a fucking dick,
as per usual.
Yeah, well, you can't fucking help.
You think that shit you pulled
at Grady's was helping?
"Don't shoot him, please!
You guys are best friends!"
Don't ever do dumb shit like that again.
- Doing shit--
- That was dumb rich girl shit, man.
What were you doing at Grady's?
You were being a pussy
and I saved your ass.
- You fucking saved me?
- Yeah.
Are you fucking listening
to me right now?
I'm trying to look out for you.
Well, no one asked you to
fucking do that, so just stop.
Stop acting like you know everything.
Stop pretending like you know
what I'm going through!
You fucking don't!
We are not the same!
You know, I may be a fuck up, K,
but you're actually fucked up.
Like, inside,
you're actually fucked up.
You don't have a dream,
you don't have a plan,
- you don't have a future.
- Shut the fuck up
about this stupid fucking dream.
This place is a shithole.
You get two pieces
of paper laminated,
and you think you're on
fucking Shark Tank?
You think you're so fucking smart,
but you're actually just a dumbass.
Like, low IQ fucking dumbass.
Can't believe I let you talk me
into getting my fucking car stolen!
Talk you into this?
You think I talked you into this?
Yes, this was your whole shit,
and you're yelling at me.
Don't act like you weren't fiending
for these fucking pills more than me,
you junkie bitch.
Wow, you're a piece of shit.
You are actually just a fucking loser.
Actually, you're not just a loser,
but you're like, also, like...
really mean.
Like inside,
like your soul is fucking rotten.
That's why Stella broke up with you
that's why you haven't had
another fucking girlfriend since.
It's 'cause you're mean.
You've been a really horrible friend.
Well, I'm the only friend you got,
so what does that say about you?
Happy fucking birthday!
Enjoy your stupid
fucking breakfast!
The sun is sinking in the west
The cattle go down to the stream
The red wing settles in the nest
It's time for a cowboy to dream
Purple light in the canyons
That's where I long to be
With my three
Good companions
Just my rifle, pony, and me
- Gonna hang
- Gonna hang
- My sombrero
- My sombrero
- On the limb
- On the limb
- Of a tree
- Of a tree
- Coming home
- Coming home
- Sweetheart, darling
- Sweetheart, darling
Just my rifle
My pony
And me
What?
- Let's fucking go!
- Yo! Oh, my God!
Let's fucking go!
Motherfucker!
Yo, you crazy fuck!
- Oh, my God. Yo!
- My boy!
- I hold it down for the homies.
- But those dudes, how the fuck--
The guy with the knife?
- Fuck a knife.
- Oh, my God.
Y'all are insane.
Bro, thank-- Thank you.
No phones, but we were able
to get your wallets back.
Your bag wasn't there, though.
That's OK, that's--
Fuck the bag.
Is he alright?
Greg, you alright?
- Yeah, he's fine.
- Y'all need a ride?
Need me to take you to a doctor
or some shit?
Whoa. Hell no, man.
No fucking doctors, man.
Come on, you already know.
We're gonna see a movie.
Of course we are, buddy.
- Of course we are.
- Bruh, man,
this is love.
Thank you so much.
It's love, dog.
Yo, I'm sorry about
that shit earlier.
Yo, we're fam. We're fam, boy.
It's all good, man.
Shit happens, bruh.
Thank you.
Family shit, dog.
- Hi, there.
- Hey.
Can I help you?
Does Stella Spencer live here?
She does.
Are you a friend of hers?
Yeah.
I-- Of course.
I don't know why I asked that, I'm sorry.
- Come on in.
- Thanks.
Hey, Stella,
somebody's here for you.
She's working on a ceramics project.
She's really talented.
Noel Knuddman, by the way.
I'm Stella's boyfriend.
Kind of my claim to fame, so...
- I'm AJ.
- Oh, OK.
Well, welcome.
Can I get you something to drink?
- Some coffee or tea?
- Uh...
you know what, I'm good.
OK.
You wanna take a seat
while you wait?
I'm good, thank you.
You like that?
Uh, well, it's...
unique.
Yeah.
What's it about?
Well, that, my friend, is up to you.
AJ?
Stella, yo.
Hey, what's up?
What are you doing here?
I just came to talk to Karla.
'Cause she left me
with her car last night.
- Karla?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I went by her place, she wasn't there.
She said she was
coming here for brunch.
Brunch?
A little early for brunch, isn't it?
Babe, will you give us a minute?
Yeah, sure thing.
It was nice meeting you.
- AJ, right?
- Yeah, AJ.
How you doing?
It's been a minute.
Karla told you
she was coming here?
Yeah. I mean, for brunch, right?
AJ,
Karla and I haven't spoken in...
almost six months.
You don't know where she is right now?
You know what, she said she was gonna
call you for brunch, and then...
and then we went to a pig race.
I'm supposed to meet up with her
at the river, but she lost her phone.
You're still using.
Wow.
You know what? Actually, fuck this.
I don't really need this right now,
so, good luck with
your fucking ceramics.
Are you using with Karla, using together?
- No.
- Don't fucking lie to me, AJ.
Not fucking lying.
This isn't a joke.
Do you know where she is or not?
Yeah, I know where she is,
so I'm gonna go get her.
It's fucking serious.
I know my sister.
- I fucking know her, too.
- Do you?
- You know why she dropped out of UCLA?
- She OD'd. I know all about it.
She OD'd.
That's what she told you.
It wasn't an accident.
Karla!
Hey, Karla!
Hey, K.
Karla. Karla.
How many did you take?
Hey, how many did you take?
Karla! Karla!
Karla!
You know,
I stopped by Stella's place earlier.
I thought you guys were doing brunch.
Where's Avocado?
I can't even take care of a dog.
I'm sorry, K.
You sure you don't want anything?
Yeah, actually,
could you get me a pack of Lights?
So just those and 11 bucks
on pump four, please.
OK.
Sign, please.
- You got that little short string, huh?
- Yeah.
Guess that's what
God gave us fingers for.
- Have a nice day.
- You too.
Yo, AJ.
- Bruh.
- Oh, my God. Jesus.
You scared the shit out of me.
I just got my car back.
I'm not trying
to blow it up right away.
Yeah, my bad.
I'm fuckin'...
fried right now.
Antidepressants can
increase suicidal thoughts
and behaviors in teens
and young adults.
Depression took the color from my life.
Now I paint my own canvas.
Side effects might include
nausea, dizziness, heart disease,
or thoughts of suicide.
Ask your doctor
if Dexaprine's right for you.
THE SWITCH
Kelly... wants to bang you.
For one or both of you?
Uh, both of us.
For IOP, inpatient, or detox?
- Detox.
- Detox.
Alright.
Let me get you
some paperwork to fill out.
Jess, did you know...
Here comes the mansplain.
...that in Italian, there are
16 different words for love?
Sixteen? Jeez.
Meanwhile, in English, we have
57 different words for...
I love this show.
Do you guys have
a phone I could use?
There's a payphone in the lobby.
Payphones.
They still got those?
There's some quarters in the car, I think.
Here you go.
You can have a seat.
Thank you.
I'll need your friend
to fill these out as well.
OK.
- She'll be right back.
- Mm-hmm.
IN LOVING MEMORY OF NEIL
I don't know.
When you guys work with actors,
do you ever talk about that stuff?
Not exactly.
How'd you feel about defending
somebody that you know is guilty?
Does it bother you at all?
I know it's part of your responsibility.
Well, there's always gonna be
someone guilty
and someone who's innocent, so...
you have to have both sides
of the argument, I guess.
That's very well said.
I was taught that
by a colleague of mine.
I totally stole it.
He actually does
really good TikToks.
Is he 14?
No, 47.
Oh, Martin, when you and Jessica
get back from Costa Rica,
you've got to meet my friend
P. Lyon Estelle.
Costa Rica! I'm so jealous.
- I had a magical time there as a teen.
- He's got a fabulous new show on Hulu
and he's looking to staff up
his writers' room.
Thank you, Lynette, but I'm--
I'm really just focusing on
getting my movie going right now.
Oh, yeah.
That's with Parallel, right?
- Yeah.
- Who?
Parallel is a little indie...
Parallel's a little smaller,
but more supportive of their artists.
- They're letting me direct it myself.
- Well, look at you,
stepping out from the dreary shadows
of the writers' room.
- Yeah, baby.
- Good for you.
What's it about?
Uh, my feature?
It's-it's, um...
That's a hard pitch.
But it's, um... it's very--
It's sort of personal.
It's about his childhood.
No, it's not, actually.
Who among us does not yearn
for the bliss that is adolescence?
Oh, yes.
That is why nostalgia always sells.
Right, much to the chagrin
of artists like me.
Because it turns out
that the masses
would far rather enjoy any
piece of postmodern dreck
than an actual examination
of true sentimentality.
That's just the way it is.
My childhood would be
a horror movie.
Right, so Parallel has secured financing?
Yeah, it's pretty much...
Pretty much a lock. Yeah.
Huh, alright.
Mm-hm.
But we all know how
your industry works, right?
They string you along for six months,
and you get your hopes up
for every new lead,
you think it's almost gonna happen,
almost gonna happen, and then it's just
dead in the water.
I think you should take that meeting
with the P. Lyon--
What was the last name?
I think that sounds
like a good idea.
Just in case, you know?
Oh, Jessica, you need to tell
Augustus about your new case,
'cause he would get
a real kick out of that.
It was just um...
My...
- my movie is getting made
- And I have a client who's--
so I don't need to take that meeting
- with P. Lyon whatever.
- Estelle.
Martin does have a little bit
of a stick up his ass
when it comes to TV,
that's just the way he is.
Nothing's stuck up my ass.
I've been staffing on shows for 17 years.
It's just you reach a point in life
when you need a change.
Yep.
And don't let him fool you.
He loves TV.
He watches it all night long.
Ooh, busted.
Mainly for the commercials.
They help me fall asleep.
Have you tried Ambien?
- Oh, yeah.
- Commercials? Martin,
we're living through
a golden age of television.
- No, no.
- That's widely acknowledged.
I'm so sick of hearing that.
Why? Why?
Because we could consume content
and send emails from the same screen?
Come on, when we were young, we used
to go to double features all the time.
Now, these drug-addled Gen Zers
can't even sit through one whole film.
No, really, they have no respect
for the communal aspect of the cinema.
Martin, forget the ritualistic woo-hoo
of the sanctity of the cinema, OK?
Artistically speaking,
is your writing not always an exercise
in examining existential truths?
Of course it is, always.
Well, in film, given the time constraints
of the medium,
you can really only explore
the nuanced perspectives
of one singular character.
Your hero.
Only his truth.
- Or hers.
- Or hers. Or theirs.
Television, however,
allows you to explore
a myriad of points of view.
And isn't truth always
inexorably entwined
in a multiplicity of perspectives?
JUNK
Fuck!
Why the fuck are you just
standing there, man?
Fucking do something.
What the fuck
am I supposed to do?
- Fuck.
- Stop yelling at me.
- We gotta go, man.
- Shut up!
You good?
Yeah, I'm good.
What did they have?
Greg said--
Yeah, you ain't got to worry
about that, man.
Now make this right.
- This right. This right!
- I am.
- Yo, the fuck was that?
- Yo, what the fuck was that?
You took the mutt?
What the fuck is going on?
Why'd you take
the fucking mutt?
I don't know, man, alright?
There was a lot going on in there.
What do you mean there
was a lot going on in there?
Why do you have a fucking dog?
Pull over!
Pull over or I'm throwing
that mutt out--
I'm not stopping
the fucking car!
Bitch, shut the fuck up!
This ain't your call!
- What the fuck?
- Chill the fuck out!
- Alright, fuck this.
- Trip, yo!
What the fuck is going on?
Shut the fuck up!
Leave her alone!
Put the fucking knife away,
you psycho!
Put your fucking hands
on the dash!
I'm gonna fucking
cut her throat.
Stop!
There you go. There you go.
Slow.
Nice and slow.
Nice and slow.
Now, both of you,
empty your pockets.
Phone, wallet,
put them in the cup holder.
Come on, man.
What the fuck?
Empty your fucking pockets, I said!
Everything. Now!
Now, now, now!
Oh, my God, Jesus.
Christ, man.
Come on, what the fuck?
Dog, just let her out
the fucking car, man.
- No!
- Fuck!
K, you good?
- Did they touch you?
- I'm OK.
Chill, chill, chill...
- Wait, wait, wait--
- What the fuck was that?
God.
Oh, my God.
Fucking...
- K, you good?
- Yeah.
You OK? You alright?
- Sure you're good?
- Yeah.
Fuck.
What are we gonna do, man?
We gotta call Greg.
I gotta get a phone. Fuck!
I knew we shouldn't've
fucked with them.
Car's under my dad's
fucking insurance!
Ah, fuck.
Alright, come on. I think my
cousin Cas lives around here.
Just like a few blocks up off Vermont.
- Really?
- Yeah.
God, I knew we shouldn't
have fucked with them.
Oh, wait.
- Buddy, come here.
- K, don't touch the fucking dog.
- It's just a baby.
- We don't need the dog right now.
- I'm not gonna fucking leave it.
- Oh, my God.
That thing's a fucking rat.
Probably got rabies.
I'm not leaving it like
those fucking crackheads.
- You're not bringing that thing inside.
- I don't want to just leave it here.
This little rat, man.
- Hello?
- Yo, Cas, it's...
It's AJ.
- AJ?
- Hey.
I'm sorry if we woke you.
I know it's late.
We're just in a bit of trouble.
This is Karla.
I don't know if y'all ever met.
You're Stella's sister, right?
Claim to fame.
So we were about to meet up
with our boy Greg at the 7-Eleven.
Two fools fucking pulled up.
One of them had a gun.
They fucking jacked K's car.
They took all our shit.
- Damn.
- Yeah.
Are you guys OK?
Yeah, I'm just a little shook.
I don't know. Do you have a phone
I could use, maybe a laptop?
Yeah, of course.
Come on in.
Thank you.
It's been a minute. For real.
Shit, you got a kid?
Make sure you cancel all your
credit cards. I got fucked on that once.
AJ, you should do
"Find My iPhone."
Oh, thank you.
Yo, do you have Greg's number?
That's what I'm trying to find.
I didn't mean
to wake the baby, man.
How old is he?
She's eight months.
Eight long months.
She's so cute.
What's her name?
Her name is Mag.
Can you say--
Can you say wassup, Mag?
Oh, do you mind if I take
a call in the other room?
- Yeah, go for it.
- Thanks.
AJ...
Are you really fucking
your ex-girlfriend's sister?
- What? No.
- AJ.
That's the homie.
What do you mean?
She went to SMC with me.
We went to Thanksgiving
at your parents.
Woulda liked to see ya.
Yeah. No, I mean, I got this...
I've been grinding
with this new business idea,
so I'm trying to...
focus on that.
When you have
finished recording,
you may hang up or press 1
for more options.
Yo, Greg, it's Karla.
Can you just give me a call back
at this number as soon as you hear this?
Some really fucked up shit
happened and...
Yeah, it's an emergency.
So just give me a call back.
You know, back in the day,
I used to know
every single one of my
friends' numbers from memory.
Now I couldn't even tell you
my husband's.
You want some tea?
I'm OK. Thank you, though.
Some water?
Actually, if you have any alcohol,
I could really use a
drink-drink right now.
Not in this house.
Sorry.
You look like a smart girl.
Thanks, but I'm not that smart.
Well, you don't tell anyone that,
and they'll think you are.
You got a look.
I really like your baby's name,
by the way.
Is Mag short for Maggie?
Magnetic.
So I'm in New York
and I'm shocked.
The street food is ass.
Like the hot dogs
are literally made of assholes, right?
- Yeah.
- So I'm like,
what if I took a real
authentic LA taco truck,
put it in the middle of Brooklyn?
It would fucking go crazy, right?
But you're telling me, there are
no taco trucks in New York?
Yeah, there are,
but they're all trash.
Our shit's gonna be way more fire,
you know what I'm saying?
We're gonna have
all the real shit, man.
The al pastor with little pineapple.
Shit's cracked.
Yeah. Nah, you're not gonna
find me at no spot like that.
What?
- Can I be real with you?
- Yeah.
I love everything you're doing, bro.
The passion, the energy.
I see you vibrating, it's amazing.
But right now,
the future is like, life,
living foods, like fruit, vegetables.
We don't need more dead flesh.
I don't wanna judge you.
I'm not trying to
take away from anything
that you're doing, but...
it feels like it's time
to, you know,
maybe switch something up.
What are you two
talking about?
- Oh, man.
- Some real shit.
- Don't get him started on this shit.
- We vibing over here.
He's just telling me about his new
business. He's got this meeting tomorrow.
It sounds incredible.
- Yeah?
- Yeah, no, yeah.
I got the, uh,
the business strategy,
like, the marketing schematics,
the branding concepts.
I spent like six hours
at fucking Staples
trying to get this shit
laminated yesterday and I...
Fuck, one second.
The keys are on top
of the back right tire.
- Yeah, yeah, exactly, exactly.
- K.
I'm gonna text
you the address right now.
I'm talking to Tilly.
She's gonna pick us up.
Dude, you're a fucking lifesaver.
I love you.
OK, see you soon.
OK. Bye.
- What?
- Did you see my bag in your car?
My little green backpack?
Did I have it with me
when you picked me up earlier?
Bro, you had me
pop the trunk for you.
No, 'cause I...
Fuck!
- Fuck.
- Shut the fuck up.
AJ, what is going on?
I'm sorry, thank you for everything.
We have to go, come on. We have to go.
- What do you mean?
- Seriously. Thank you so much.
What do you think of Dewey?
- What?
- Like, Dewey for its name?
Think he kind of looks like a Dewey.
K...
do you really not give a fuck?
Our shit just got jacked.
- It's gonna be fine.
- You don't know that.
That fucking backpack had everything.
I'm fucked for this meeting tomorrow.
OK, well, what time
is your meeting?
Nine.
Bro, that's like
ten hours from now.
We're gonna find Greg at this party,
he'll get our shit back.
You'll body your meeting.
I'll have my little brunch with Stella
and we'll link up
at the river at noon.
I thought the Stella thing
was at noon.
Yeah, it was supposed
to be at noon, but...
She had to move it.
She had some shit with her boyfriend.
She's still with fucking Google guy?
Google guy?
Not you calling him "Google guy"
when they've been together for a year.
- Salty.
- Whatever.
I'm just saying, 9am is not brunch,
that's breakfast.
It's brunch if you want it to be brunch.
It's not that deep.
No, no.
Brunch is breakfast food
served at lunch,
by definition.
If it has the vibe of a brunch,
then it's a brunch.
- Mimosas, French toast...
- What are you talking about?
Like, that's a vibe.
Yo...
Finally.
You're so lucky
it's your birthday
and that I love you.
I almost crashed this thing
like 15 times.
Till, thank you so much.
So what the fuck
happened to you guys?
You got robbed?
- Yeah.
- It was a whole thing.
Did you call the cops?
I mean, yeah, but they're
not about to do shit, so...
OK.
- What's up, Rickey?
- Hey.
What's good?
Say something, Dewey.
Hey, guys. I'm Brian.
Hey. Karla.
I actually think
I met you guys
last year at Chico's
Fourth of July.
One of my messier nights.
Yep, I remember that one.
If I'm not mistaken,
you almost blew your hand off
with a firecracker, right?
Yes, that was me.
Again, not one of my finest moments.
What's up with your boy?
He xaned out or what?
Nah, he's just chill as fuck.
This is Dewey.
Say hi, Dewey.
Hi, Dewey.
AJ, this is the big truck
you've been gassing me up
on this entire time?
Yo, this shit is all fucked up.
I thought it was supposed to be clean.
Rickey, you wanna walk to the party?
- No.
- Fuck...
"Hey, Rickey,
you wanna walk to the party?"
- Yo, whose party is this?
- I don't know, ask Brian.
Brian, what are we walking into right now?
This is concerning.
- You're looking for Greg.
- You brought us here.
Yo, Greg!
Shit, man. The fucking thing
is yoked up, dog!
If I lose another
fucking race to that pig.
- Yo!
- I know what the deal is,
you cheating-ass bitch.
You're pumping it full of adrenochrome!
- Hey, yo, yo.
- Oh, shit, bro.
Yo, we gotta talk to you right now.
Oh, Karlita, happy birthday, yo.
What the fuck is that little thing?
Jesus Christ.
Can we go talk, please?
So then the other dude
pulls out a knife,
puts it to K's throat.
- Crazy shit.
- A fucking knife?
Some gangster-ass shit, man.
It's fucking hard.
It's not funny, though.
They took our phones, our wallets,
and took off with my fucking car.
So they took the pills too?
- What?
- The pills? Bro, fuck the pills.
- They took my bag.
- Alright, alright.
With my laptop,
my phone, all my shit.
Can you call them?
Yo, honestly,
I barely even know
those fools like that.
I thought those were your homies.
What do you mean
you barely know those fools?
My homies?
No, they're the fucking homies--
Grady's homies.
- Who the fuck is Grady?
- Chill, fool.
Grady's the fucking head honcho, dog.
He's the money man.
He's the boss.
Fool thinks he's like
my best friend or some shit.
I make one call,
get your shit back
like that, man.
Yo, y'all need a little sumthin' sumthin'
to hold you over?
- Yes.
- You know I got you, son.
Hold you over.
Vicodin-5s? Get the fuck out of here.
Where are the blues?
Bro, are you serious, man?
It's all I fucking got, dude.
Grady has blues for sure.
We'll go pick up right now.
Let's go. What are we doing?
- Let's go. Come on.
- Whoa, whoa.
Give me five minutes.
Ten minutes, tops.
No, no, no. Five tops.
I got so much fucking money
on this pig race, bro.
I'm down fucking bad, son.
- You have 10--
- Five, 10 min-- 10.
Fine, 10 minutes we meet back here.
No games. No bullshit.
10 minutes. Give me those.
- Yo.
- What's up?
I thought you guys
were looking for Greg.
Yeah, I don't know.
I'm just going to let
AJ handle it, I guess.
I feel you.
You smoke?
A little.
- Here.
- Thank you.
Feel so posh.
Any big plans
for your birthday or...?
Yeah, I mean, well, I don't know.
AJ and I have this tradition.
There's a spot we found on
the LA River and it's like...
It's cool. It's like where all the
concrete meets this like...
lush...
greenery.
I don't know.
It's really cool.
It's not what the rest
of the LA River looks like.
And we go out there and smoke
and just kind of look at
what's left of it.
But he has this meeting
thing tomorrow,
so it might not happen.
How long you guys
been together?
AJ and I are not together.
He's my boy.
OK, sick.
Let's go!
Go green!
Come on, green!
Let's go!
You slow as fuck!
- Come on!
- Come on.
You don't have a girlfriend, right?
Nah.
I just got out of a long relationship.
Fuck, I'm sorry.
It's fine, you know?
Took me to a dark place, though.
That was, like, the saddest
I've ever been.
I was so depressed, I thought I was
gonna have to check into a psych ward.
Yeah.
Well, I've actually been to one, so...
Wait, what?
Yeah, high school was rough, man.
My parents...
like, actually, like, checked me into one.
No, it's not like--
I'm not, like, crazy or anything.
- Oh.
- It was like, whatever.
What would make you think
I thought you were crazy?
The fact that you were in a...
- Right?
- ...mental hospital? I don't know.
Yeah. I got to skip the PSATs.
That's one way to look at it, you know?
Glass half full, I guess.
Yeah.
I don't know, what's the point if you're
not gonna look at things glass half full?
Even tonight.
It was a shitty night,
but I ended up here,
ended up meeting you.
It's like, I don't know, maybe...
potentially a cool story
of how we met.
Yeah, I think, uh...
Oh, my God. I--
No, no, no. It's like...
- That's not what I meant. I'm dead.
- It's just, I think, like...
I'm still trying to figure out
what happened in my last relationship
and just, you know, all those...
Yeah, no, that sounds really hard.
Yeah, just...
If I felt like myself, maybe, but...
Oh, bro, I didn't mean to imply.
I was just--
Well, that's cool then.
You want to go back in
and meet up with your homies or...?
Uh, yeah, as soon as I finish this.
Well, it was good hanging.
Always a pleasure.
I'll be... around here.
This party is dead anyways, bro.
Told you 20 minutes ago.
We should fucking dip.
- Happy birthday.
- Mm, thanks.
Fuck off.
Heads up, y'all,
this guy's a little bit...
I don't know how to describe him.
Like sus?
Not sus like those
fuckers that robbed you.
It's more like...
It's chill right now, but...
fool's, like, on some school shooter,
serial killer vibe.
Like, one day, I swear,
he's just gonna fucking...
- Shoot shit up, man.
- Jesus fucking Christ.
- He's chill, though. He's chill.
- What?
Yo, Grady.
Glad to see you're still up, man.
Is that a Chihuahua?
Yeah, I don't know.
We think so.
I just found him tonight.
- What the fuck was that?
- I don't know.
Shoes.
Grizzly bears will devour
anything in their path.
Contrary to popular belief,
they're far from strict carnivores...
Put that down, Greg.
You guys, sit, sit.
...shellfish,
their appetite knows no bounds...
I really like your place, man.
It has, like, a cool...
aesthetic to it.
It's white.
...scavenging...
So what's up?
You tryna cop?
Of course, man, but...
first I gotta talk to you about some shit.
Remember those goons,
Trip and Cam?
You mean those guys
I told you never to fuck with?
I wasn't fucking with them, man.
I just linked them up
with these fools.
Yo, they jacked all their shit, man.
They jacked K's fucking car, dude.
Can you call them up,
see if you can get their shit back?
Yo, could you ask them if they
saw a green backpack in the trunk?
OK.
...the largest asserting dominance
over prime fishing spots.
They use their size
and commanding demeanor
to claim what they desire.
In more inland habitats,
the bear employs
alternative hunting strategies.
What did they say?
Not much.
I don't talk details over the phone,
but sounds like I'll be able
to work something out for you guys.
Thank you.
They did make one thing
super clear, though.
If they ever see you again,
they're gonna fucking kill you.
That's some fucking bullshit.
What the fuck did I do, man?
So are you gonna--
Are you gonna go...?
I said, I'll work it out...
bro.
Yo, man, you got those blues still?
- Mm-hm.
- Let me get...
five of those, dude.
It's 100, right?
- 150.
- Right, right.
Kind of steep, no?
You want them or not?
Obviously, bro.
Obviously. Come on.
Alright, Grady, man,
I'm gonna get out of your hair, bro,
but...
hit me up if you hear back
from those fucking turkeys, dude.
They need to get their shit back, man.
Greg, sit down.
What's wrong?
You trying to pass me
a counterfeit bill, Greg?
Counterfeit, bro?
What the fuck, man?
Yo, this guy's nuts.
Let's get the fuck out of here.
Just call me, dog.
- I said sit the fuck down.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
What the fuck, dude?
- Chill out, man.
- Oh, God.
Put that shit away, Grady.
We're gonna play fuck fuck?
- Whoa. What the fuck?
- What?
Put that down, Grady.
Greg, sit down.
Alright, bro. Alright.
- Dude, sit down.
- Slow, chill.
Fucking A, dog.
This is fake.
- No. No. No it's not, bro.
- A counterfeit bill.
You see those zeros?
Are you fucking serious?
How they're rounded?
You ever see zeros
all rounded like that?
Give him another fucking bill.
- I don't have another fucking bill.
- Give him back the pills.
Hell no, man!
Zeros are fucking round, Grady.
It's the nature of a fucking zero, dog.
It's an old-ass bill, man.
You think I would do you
like that, bro?
We're homies, man.
Homies?
When was the last time
you came to kick it
when you did not need
something from me, Greg?
And then you come into my home,
where I sleep,
with two complete strangers
to do a business transaction!
Oh, chill, dog.
I do not know what
your intentions are, Greg.
- Intentions?
- But I do not like them.
- What the fuck, bro?
- Not one bit, bro.
After all the money
we made together?
Like I'm some broke-ass bum?
- Yo, yo!
- What the fuck, bro?
- Slow the fuck down.
- Are you serious, bro?
Now you're gonna raise
that shit on me?
Fucking foul, dog.
Can I just say, we don't have
any intentions--
Shut the fuck up. We don't have
intentions or whatever you're saying.
Greg is just an asshole. And he doesn't
respond to my texts or calls either.
And seriously, on the way over,
he said some really nice shit about you.
And he called you his best friend.
I don't know what shit
is going on with you guys,
but it sounds like you guys
really care about each other.
Could you just Google the bill and see
if the zeros are the same like he said?
Look that shit up, Grady.
Yo, people make mistakes.
It's OK.
Yeah.
I bet it's real.
That's right.
Come on, bring it in, bro.
Put that shit away,
you fucking psycho, man.
It's all love, dog.
Come on,
let's get the fuck outta here, man.
Call me up, dog.
Shit.
Sorry, Greg.
You know, that hundred
was fake as fuck.
No, you're lying.
No way.
You're lying.
That's fucked up.
Yo, Karlita.
Dewey is a trash name
for this fucking guy.
I like Rat.
We're not calling it Rat.
Avocado.
- Wow.
- Wow.
I present you...
- Avocado.
- Avocado.
That's perfect. Avocado.
I gotta take a leak, alright?
I'll be fucking back.
Yo, AJ.
Hmm?
Who leaves their dog at home
when they go on vacation?
I love this one.
So absolute in its simplicity.
I think it's one
of Carter's finest.
By emphasizing
the frontal plane,
she has denied her audience
any allusion to the classical
window of art.
Oh, but it's beyond
a mere exercise in form.
YOU ARE DUMB
YOU ARE DUMB. YOU ARE DUMB. YOU ARE DUMB.
I have a constant fear
that I'm on the outside.
Like there's some core part of life
that I'm not understanding.
Or a big joke I'm not in on.
We all know how
your industry works, right?
They string you along for six months
and then you get your hopes up
for every new lead
and you think it's almost gonna happen,
and then it's just dead in the water.
Why'd you say that thing
about my feature?
What thing?
That it'll never get made.
I didn't say that.
Maybe not explicitly, but
these people can read
between the lines, Jess.
It's called subtext.
I'm sorry
that's how you took it,
but it's not what I meant
and it's not what I said.
Aside from your order,
it's pretty much
all you said all night.
It's just really so...
boring.
And I sometimes wish
that we had friends
with real issues that have
really meaningful conversations.
Right. Like that brunch
we had with your teacher friend.
- Sarah.
- Sarah.
Where all she did
the entire time
was complain
about how shitty kids are
and how little she gets paid.
Oh, no, no.
That was a blast.
At least it's education.
You're not exactly curing cancer, Martin.
We haven't had sex in 23 nights.
Maybe it's cancer.
Maybe she'll die.
My uncle Saul died of cancer.
DANIEL No, it's at ten AM.
JORDANA Whatever, I'm just saying ten AM
is not brunch. That's breakfast.
DANIEL No, it's brunch.
It's brunch if you say it's brunch.
EXT. CASSANDRA'S BUILDING - NIGHDaniel and Jordana
exit the apartment building.
DANIEL
Lately I've been having these dreams...
Who is she?
What's she trying to tell me?
Your mother's uterus.
The barn house.
The one from your dream.
It represents your mother's uterus.
You in her warm, safe embrace.
The comfort
before entering this world.
With all due respect, Doctor,
how does that help me?
How's my mother's uterus
gonna bring me...
I just feel so... empty.
Like, if you look at my life,
it's just... there's nothing.
It's just a blank... canvas.
It means nothing.
All I have is her.
This woman I don't even know,
who isn't even real.
You are depressed.
Have you been taking
your Lexapro as prescribed?
Yes, and we see
how pleasant it's made me.
I'd like to start you off
on a low dose of Dexaprine.
Ten milligrams,
once in the morning.
But can we--
Can we forget the pills?
And the...
dream analysis?
Can we just talk, please?
I just need...
I just need some advice.
My advice?
Try the Dexaprine.
Lexapro, Vyvanse,
Wellbutrin, Oxycodone,
Xanax, Klonopin,
Trazodone,
and now Dexaprine.
There's really only two types
of drug addicts in the world.
The ones that have
their names on the pill bottle
and the ones who don't.
Form the image
of a snow globe in your mind.
Breathe deeply.
The snow globe contains
all of your thoughts and anxieties
shaken back and forth
like the thoughts fluttering
through your head.
- Your mind now settles...
- So...
...relaxes.
- ...how you doing today?
- As still as the snowflakes
- nestled together.
- Huh?
- How's your day going?
- Oh, yeah.
- Can't complain.
- Yeah.
Say, I'm not doing too bad myself.
Place the snow globe
- on a bookshelf.
- What do you do?
Oh, I'm a...
I'm a sweatshop worker.
I work in a sweatshop.
Eleven seasons of America's
favorite body swap comedy...
The Switch, on NBC.
My only contribution to society.
- Are you...
- Me?
- And I'm...
- You!
No!
When I was a kid, I dreamt
of being a great novelist.
But Hollywood offered
something more.
The validation, the power,
the attention that follows.
At the end of the day,
every writer just wants
to hear three little words.
It's your masterpiece.
Honey,
did you take Nelson out yet?
Honey, did you take
Nelson out yet?
The reality is,
this is the fifth draft
I've written of my script
in the last 14 months.
It's a simple story,
sentimental and honest.
No bullshit animation or voiceover.
Just people having real conversations.
Every single time,
I get the same note
from every person
who reads it.
They love the script
but hate the main character.
They find him petty,
cynical, and clich.
He feels entitled to love
but resents anyone
who gives it to him.
I get it.
It's hard to empathize
with someone so self-centered.
I tried giving the character
a tragic backstory.
I made him a vegan.
I even gave him a dog.
Nothing worked.
No matter what,
the character at the core
just isn't likable.
Last week, the studio
gave me a new suggestion.
We think that Daniel...
could be a woman.
Um...
Yeah.
You want me to change
the main character's gender?
Yeah.
The character based on my life?
Yes.
Well, I mean...
I could try.
It just might sorta...
complicate the narrative.
Mm-hmm, I hear you.
The thing is, that might just
complicate our ability
to greenlight this project.
Look, we've told you before
that Daniel is not
the most likable character.
Martin, buddy, I just got
off the phone with Parallel.
I heard the meeting was amazing.
This new idea is
a home fucking run.
Just change Daniel to Danielle.
It's as simple as "find and replace".
It's not that simple.
Ah, it's-- Martin,
if the studio wants
a female protagonist,
who are you to tell them
they're wrong?
Think about all the film scripts
you've had optioned over the years.
Where are they now?
- On a shelf.
- Thanks.
Come on, you remember your script
about the guy who dies in 9/11?
Jason, that was
a dumb hacky comedy.
A comedy?
Martin, there were no jokes.
I'm sick of writing jokes.
I want to write something true.
I have written something true.
Look, do you realize
how lucky you are that,
at your age,
with your credits,
you're finally getting
the opportunity
to do the thing that you've been
talking about since the day we met.
To write and direct
your own feature film.
This is the dream,
right here on a silver fucking platter.
Now, do you want it or not?
Trust me, the critics
are gonna eat this shit up.
Look at him.
Not a creative bone in his body.
Maybe I should just kill
this movie before it kills me.
Get out now
while I still have some dignity.
- No way.
- Yeah.
But this one was like,
I think I saw this one video
of this, like, monkey,
like, on his shoulder.
You're gonna have so much fun.
- I'm gonna have so much fun.
- Hi.
Oh, bubs.
This is Ronny.
He's in my bowling league.
- Ah.
- You remember,
you guys met a couple times.
- Right.
- What's up, man?
Hi.
We were just celebrating.
Ronny started this after-school
drama program for underprivileged youth.
Wow. You must be a really good guy.
I just...
count my blessings, you know?
Comes with the territory.
You still write for...
What is it called?
What is it called?
What is it called?
- The Switch, yeah.
- The Switch.
- I was about to say.
- Yeah.
So funny, dude.
- Some great jokes there.
- Thanks.
You know what else is funny?
Guess who's gonna be in Costa Rica
just a couple days after us?
We're gonna overlap.
Wow.
Hilarious.
Snagged the same Groupon deal
from last month.
I'm so excited.
Oh, actually,
Jess was just telling me
about this new case of hers.
- Come join us.
- He doesn't wanna hear about my work.
- Oh, sure he does.
- Oh...
- Come on, sit down.
- ...sure, I do.
Are you kidding?
What a thrill.
So, anyways, he's this former
high school football star,
and last year,
he tears his ACL
and is given OxyContin
and becomes deeply addicted...
I only asked her to marry me
because I knew she'd say yes.
She's always saying yes.
Yes to new friends,
yes to another glass of wine,
yes to a fucking bowling league.
Me, I have nothing.
No hobbies.
No children.
Nothing.
Just a script I'll never finish
and a woman I'll never meet.
Mr Solomon.
Mr Solomon.
Here you go.
Uh... there's no Xanax.
Facts.
Wha-- there's supposed to be Xanax here.
- I need my refill.
- Let's see, let's see.
Solomon... Xanax.
Oh, no refill till next week.
Oh, no, no, no.
I need it today, OK?
I'm going out of town tonight,
and I don't need this Oxy.
OK, I've told you guys
for months now
that I don't need this.
I haven't been taking it since December,
it's just been piling up at my house.
But the Xanax I need, OK?
So, can you...
You're not gonna get it
till next Tuesday.
You're not up for a refill.
You need to call my doctor, OK?
Because there's supposed
to be a vacation override.
Dude.
Chill.
Jess.
Jessica!
Sorry, I'm just-- I'm trying
to get some work done here.
Go to your hidey-hole.
This is a kitchen. I'm sorry
for preparing food. Jesus.
Oh, I gotta ask you something.
Can you drop off Nelson
at the Knuddmans' at 2?
I have to go to the office
to drop off the affidavits,
we have to come back here,
do all of the laundry,
which is mostly yours,
then we have to finish packing,
then I have my league game at 5
just thought that would be really helpful
if you could do that.
So, can you do it or not?
You know, I don't know, Jess.
I sort of have a bunch of work
I'm trying--
It's fine.
I'll do it, I'll take Nelson too
and I'll just figure it out,
like I always do.
And we can travel
with unwashed clothes.
'Cause that's what you would
be doing if I wasn't here.
Don't worry...
...yet again...
...get it all done.
OK, I'll do it.
I'll fucking do it, OK?
Just leave me alone for
a goddamn second, please!
Fuck. I'm sorry.
Jess, wait, please. I'm sorry.
That was out of line.
Look, I'm just so stressed out
about the movie, OK?
It'll be good to get away.
Right. OK.
Oh, what is wrong with me?
$8.95.
Sign, please.
The pen is too short.
I need you to sign
on the screen.
I'm trying.
- The pen doesn't reach.
- Sir.
You just have to sign the screen.
Am I losing my mind?
Fuck.
Costa Rica.
Just kill me.
Can I help you?
Um, do you work here?
No.
But you've been staring at me
looking as though you want something.
Have we met before?
No, I don't believe we have.
Do you have something to tell me?
Um, because there's, uh...
I have something
I have to say to you,
and I know it's gonna
sound totally crazy, but...
What's your name?
That depends who's asking.
Right, of course. Martin.
Martin Chester Solomon.
I'm 46 years old.
I'm a Libra.
Born October 4, 1976
in Westchester, New York.
But I live here
in Beachwood Canyon.
Um, I'm a TV staff writer.
Why am I getting
your life story right now?
Well, I don't know.
I just figured you'd be
wary of some sweaty stranger
staring at you,
and so now I'm not a stranger.
I'm just sweaty and staring.
- You are a TV writer?
- Unfortunately, yeah.
What show?
The Switch, on NBC.
Oh, yeah, I've--
I've seen ads for it.
I've never actually watched it.
It looks awful.
Oh, it is, trust me.
Are you, are you an actress?
You know, not every pretty woman
in this city is an actress.
- No, I didn't mean--
- But yes, I act.
Can I tell you about
this new project I'm directing?
So it's about this
moderately successful writer,
and, um, she's...
she's this new age, big city girl
facing a crisis of meaning.
And she's estranged from her
very strict and traditional family.
You know, I find writers don't make
for very rich, dramatic characters.
They're too introspective,
too self-aware of their own flaws.
- What sort of writer is she?
- She's not a creative writer.
- See, she's a journalist.
- Oh.
And she's writing this big expos
about the opioid crisis.
But when her father dies,
she has to go back to her hometown, right?
For the funeral.
Did your father die?
Yeah, about seven years ago.
Were you close?
- Not really.
- Hm.
So, as I was saying...
it's really about
her having to go back home,
right, and confront
the demons of her past.
I know it sounds sort of hacky
when I pitch it,
but if you were to read the script,
I think you'd feel the heart.
Well, send it.
I'd love to read it.
- Really?
- Yeah.
What's your email?
Here.
Sorry.
Here it is.
I, um...
I put my number in as well.
Woman in record store, wha--
What's your real name?
Hi.
Yes, I've thought about it.
I will do it.
OK. No, no.
Jason, I'm telling you.
I found her. I have her.
She's unreal.
But if I make the changes,
I want full control over casting.
My movie. My cast.
I thought you had a league game.
What are you doing here?
I thought you had a league game.
I did, but then four of the players from
the other team got salmonella poisoning
from their team dinner last night,
so we've won by forfeit.
Well, congrats.
Did you come to watch my game?
That's so sweet.
You never come to see
my league games.
- You want some nachos?
- No, thanks.
Jess...
listen, do you think we can--
Oh, did you pack?
Did you drop off Nelson?
No, sorry.
It's OK.
We can do it on the way out.
It's fine.
Hey, bubs.
Will you bowl one for me?
No, Jess.
No, I don't think so.
Please? I love it when you bowl.
- I really do. Just one frame.
- No.
No, you love ridiculing
the way I bowl.
Please.
Please?
- One frame. One frame.
- That's fine.
Look, it's my last one.
It's a gift.
Here, I think that's light enough.
There. Happy?
I love it. I love it.
It's so ridiculous
and so bizarre...
and yet somehow it just works.
Love you.
Alright, let's get out of here.
Hey, Jess, I'm...
I'm not going.
I'm not going
to Costa Rica with you.
What do you mean you're not... going?
I can't.
I just-- I can't.
But you should go without me.
OK? Listen, you'll have
a better time anyway.
You can hang out with Ronny, right?
- Wait, this is about Ronny?
- No.
- No, it's not--
- There's nothing going on.
No, it's not, it's not, it's about--
- It's me.
- OK.
OK? I'm-- I'm...
I'm sick.
You're sick?
I mean, emotionally.
I'm... I'm not well.
I haven't been well...
for some time.
What are you doing?
SPLIT!!
Jessica, wait, you don't understand.
No, I don't fucking understand.
You've been rambling on
about some wet dream
you had about a woman
and my mole.
Look, I know you're angry, OK,
but what you're not
understanding is that
I'm doing this for you, too.
- Oh, my God.
- OK? No, really.
One day, you're gonna thank me.
Really, Jessica, because
I care about you, OK?
It's because I love you.
Fuck you.
You love me.
You don't do this to someone
that you fucking love.
You just told me you love some girl
that you met five minutes ago.
Love is a stupid word, OK?
No, really, no--
Do you know, in Italian,
there are 16 different words
that translate in English to love?
Sixteen, Jess.
OK, that's maybe
'cause you shouldn't love your fiance
like you love bowling.
Uh-huh.
Look...
I'm sorry. I really am.
The thing is, Martin,
is you're not.
You're not sorry.
You're never sorry.
You just...
want people to feel sorry for you.
And I don't.
I don't.
I do feel sorry
for the next girl though,
who might actually
feel sorry for you.
I had this epiphany recently.
I kept asking myself
why I was with someone
who's, you know,
so fucking miserable
all the time.
And I thought maybe it's because
it helps me feel better
about myself,
my trauma, I don't know.
But then I realized...
that what you do is
you drag me down with you
into this dark abyss
of pitiful self-loathing
and fucking misery.
And it's starting to make me
reconsider everything I love.
But then I was like,
no, fuck that.
We have a vacation planned.
I want to go away with you.
I wanna remember what it's like
to have fun with you, and maybe...
maybe we're gonna
fucking talk about it!
Just once!
But no, you're too self-centered,
you can't give me that.
I understand, it's not a big deal.
I just don't think that there is
a female muse on this planet
that could spark any joy
out of that tortured persona
that you fucking love so much.
Maybe there is.
I don't know, maybe there's a woman who
takes pity on you
and tries her fucking hardest.
But it's not gonna work.
Because you're never gonna be happy.
And that makes me happy.
BOWL
FIND: DANIEL, REPLACE: DANIELLE
REPLACE ALL
HIS/HER
MOTHER/FATHER
I'M/YOU'RE
Hi, it's Martin Solomon.
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, it's Martin Solomon
from the, um, from the record store.
From the, uh...
Hey, it's Martin from the record--
Oh, fuck.
No.
What?
OK.
In.
Out.
Yo, Cam.
- Yo, Cam.
- What?
You see this?
Yeah, it's a dog.
No shit it's a dog.
What the fuck is it doing here?
Who cares?
There's no car in the driveway, alright?
They're definitely gone.
Let's clear out the rest of the shit
and get out of here.
You've got the pills, right?
What do you think I was doing
in the bathroom for ten minutes,
taking a shit?
- What the fuck are you doing, dude?
- Shut the fuck up.
Holy shit! Holy shit!
What the-- Oh fuck!
Shit!
Fuck!
Is he...
Oh, shit.
Oh, fuck.
Fuck, man.
Greg fucking fucked us!
Chill the fuck out, man!
Let's get out of here!
Grab everything
you fucking can, man.
Y'all don't want to order anything?
No, I'm good.
You sure?
I feel like y'all should take advantage
while you can, I mean...
this shit's gonna be
something of the past, man.
You know those motherfuckers at Davos,
World Economic Forum...
that fucker Bill Gates
and his foundation...
buying up all the farmland, man.
They don't want you eating
this shit no more, man.
They want you getting your
fucking protein from crickets, dog.
Fucking guys, man, telling you,
watch them cook up
the next fake shit, man,
some fake famine.
Next thing you know,
you're eating bugs all day.
Bug diners, bug restaurants...
Bug brunch.
Bug fuckin' brunch.
Low key...
I've been on that shit.
Fuck going vegan.
I'd be eating bugs.
Yo, Greg, who was, um...
who was that guy
whose house you sent us to?
I don't fuckin' know.
Some guy that comes
by the pharmacy.
This dude came the other day,
and he was fucking tweaked
out of his mind, man.
Talking about, "I need my xannies,
I need my xannies."
This fuckin' guy thinks that he can
get his shit five days early
'cause he's going on vacation, bro.
I'm like, please.
I look up this dude on the computer.
This dude is a full-on
fucking junkie, man.
This dude's got scripts for everything.
Oh, but this motherfucking guy's dentist
is prescribing him Oxy
every fuckin' week.
Oxy, Oxy, Oxy.
This fucking guy told me the other day
he's not even taking them.
Damn.
Honestly, this fool's a victim
of Big Pharma, man.
Yo, you know, New Zealand and America's
the only motherfucking country
that you can advertise
pharmaceuticals on TV?
Shit's fucking foul, man, I swear.
Yo, brunch as a mindset?
Yo, that's fucking fire, dude.
So we just ate brunch then, huh?
Yeah, I mean,
that's the whole point.
Like, it's brunch if you
want it to be brunch.
Bro, don't let her confuse you.
It is 4am, that is not brunch.
But brunch exceeds
all time and space.
Bro, brunch is literally
only on Sundays.
No, exactly.
That's what I'm saying.
If it were a normal meal, it'd be
recognized every day of the week.
The fact that it's only on Sundays
proves that it's something more.
Like, it's a vibe, I said that,
- it's an energy.
- Yo, let's go.
- Fucking Grady, dog.
- Let's go.
Alright, man.
Yo, man.
What's good, bro?
Uh-huh?
All good?
Yeah, yeah.
Yo...
Bro, come on.
Yeah, wait, what?
Your snow globe?
Bro, what the fuck are
you talking about, dude?
What's he saying
about the snow globe?
I-- Yo, I wouldn't take your
- fucking snow globe, man.
- Yo, yo, yo, chill.
Stop acting like
a fuckin' little bitch, dog.
Greg, absolutely stop that.
Chill, chill.
I got this fool.
Yo, honestly, Grady, bro,
this is why I never come
to your house no more.
What the fuck are you doing?
That's why I never bring
the homies over, man.
You're a needy-ass
- little bitch, Grady, man.
- What are you doing?
Suck my fucking dick.
- What the fuck was that?
- What the fuck?
That's it, bro.
What did you just do?
Yo, honestly, that's just it.
Your shit is fucking gone.
Did you take
his fucking snow globe?
Are you fucking serious?
After he pulled a gun on us,
you think I'm gonna take
his fucking snow globe?
Then fucking call him back.
- Call him back.
- Bro, it's not gonna happen, dog.
You need to fucking chill.
It's not fucking happening.
I cannot believe
how badly you fucked us.
He told you
not to fuck with those guys.
- I'm sorry.
- And you had us give 'em a fucking ride.
What the fuck
do you want me to do?
I want you to fucking call him.
If you're not gonna call him,
tell us where they are
so we can pull up on them.
We can pull up?
"Pull up"?
Bro, he's gonna fucking stab you, dog.
- These fools are psycho, yo.
- You're just a pussy.
They're gonna beat
my fucking ass, yo.
What do you think they're gonna do
to this fucking shrimp boy?
Y'all act like you're the only ones
who are victims here.
- Oh, my God.
- I was supposed to get
- half that fucking stash!
- I don't give a fuck!
What the fuck?
Get the fuck off me, man!
Let me see your pockets.
Yo, get the fuck off me!
- Fucking liar!
- Yo, yo, man.
- You motherfucker.
- Yo, fuck!
You piece of shit!
I cannot believe
you actually took
his fucking snow globe.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
These fools are
on some dark-ass shit, man!
- Oh, my God.
- You fucked us.
Bro, these fools are fucking vicious.
You fucked us, man!
What the fuck!
Fuck, you guys.
Bro, my bad, man.
I didn't want it to go this way.
Y'all are my fucking friends, man.
Fuck off with that "friends" bullshit.
Like Grady's your fucking friend?
You're not our friend.
You're a fucking drug dealer.
That's all you are to anyone, bro,
fuck off.
- AJ?
- Hm?
I think we should call the cops.
And say what?
I don't know. I think we should
just tell them the truth.
Like...
actually, how bad could it be?
We didn't go in the house.
We don't know what happened,
so it's not really on us.
What the fuck do you think
happened in the house?
Stop pretending like
you don't know what happened.
The intel was bullshit,
there was no vacation,
the dude made it up to get
his fucking pills early,
and they killed him.
- We don't know that.
- They fucking killed him.
Why do you think when they got in the car,
it was so sketchy?
Why do you think
they had a fucking dog?
God, I got this meeting in two hours,
and I'm never gonna get
my fucking bag back.
I'm not getting
my fucking car back either.
I'm sure Mommy and Daddy'll
get you a new one.
Oh, fuck you.
I'm trying to think
things through,
you're just being a fucking dick,
as per usual.
Yeah, well, you can't fucking help.
You think that shit you pulled
at Grady's was helping?
"Don't shoot him, please!
You guys are best friends!"
Don't ever do dumb shit like that again.
- Doing shit--
- That was dumb rich girl shit, man.
What were you doing at Grady's?
You were being a pussy
and I saved your ass.
- You fucking saved me?
- Yeah.
Are you fucking listening
to me right now?
I'm trying to look out for you.
Well, no one asked you to
fucking do that, so just stop.
Stop acting like you know everything.
Stop pretending like you know
what I'm going through!
You fucking don't!
We are not the same!
You know, I may be a fuck up, K,
but you're actually fucked up.
Like, inside,
you're actually fucked up.
You don't have a dream,
you don't have a plan,
- you don't have a future.
- Shut the fuck up
about this stupid fucking dream.
This place is a shithole.
You get two pieces
of paper laminated,
and you think you're on
fucking Shark Tank?
You think you're so fucking smart,
but you're actually just a dumbass.
Like, low IQ fucking dumbass.
Can't believe I let you talk me
into getting my fucking car stolen!
Talk you into this?
You think I talked you into this?
Yes, this was your whole shit,
and you're yelling at me.
Don't act like you weren't fiending
for these fucking pills more than me,
you junkie bitch.
Wow, you're a piece of shit.
You are actually just a fucking loser.
Actually, you're not just a loser,
but you're like, also, like...
really mean.
Like inside,
like your soul is fucking rotten.
That's why Stella broke up with you
that's why you haven't had
another fucking girlfriend since.
It's 'cause you're mean.
You've been a really horrible friend.
Well, I'm the only friend you got,
so what does that say about you?
Happy fucking birthday!
Enjoy your stupid
fucking breakfast!
The sun is sinking in the west
The cattle go down to the stream
The red wing settles in the nest
It's time for a cowboy to dream
Purple light in the canyons
That's where I long to be
With my three
Good companions
Just my rifle, pony, and me
- Gonna hang
- Gonna hang
- My sombrero
- My sombrero
- On the limb
- On the limb
- Of a tree
- Of a tree
- Coming home
- Coming home
- Sweetheart, darling
- Sweetheart, darling
Just my rifle
My pony
And me
What?
- Let's fucking go!
- Yo! Oh, my God!
Let's fucking go!
Motherfucker!
Yo, you crazy fuck!
- Oh, my God. Yo!
- My boy!
- I hold it down for the homies.
- But those dudes, how the fuck--
The guy with the knife?
- Fuck a knife.
- Oh, my God.
Y'all are insane.
Bro, thank-- Thank you.
No phones, but we were able
to get your wallets back.
Your bag wasn't there, though.
That's OK, that's--
Fuck the bag.
Is he alright?
Greg, you alright?
- Yeah, he's fine.
- Y'all need a ride?
Need me to take you to a doctor
or some shit?
Whoa. Hell no, man.
No fucking doctors, man.
Come on, you already know.
We're gonna see a movie.
Of course we are, buddy.
- Of course we are.
- Bruh, man,
this is love.
Thank you so much.
It's love, dog.
Yo, I'm sorry about
that shit earlier.
Yo, we're fam. We're fam, boy.
It's all good, man.
Shit happens, bruh.
Thank you.
Family shit, dog.
- Hi, there.
- Hey.
Can I help you?
Does Stella Spencer live here?
She does.
Are you a friend of hers?
Yeah.
I-- Of course.
I don't know why I asked that, I'm sorry.
- Come on in.
- Thanks.
Hey, Stella,
somebody's here for you.
She's working on a ceramics project.
She's really talented.
Noel Knuddman, by the way.
I'm Stella's boyfriend.
Kind of my claim to fame, so...
- I'm AJ.
- Oh, OK.
Well, welcome.
Can I get you something to drink?
- Some coffee or tea?
- Uh...
you know what, I'm good.
OK.
You wanna take a seat
while you wait?
I'm good, thank you.
You like that?
Uh, well, it's...
unique.
Yeah.
What's it about?
Well, that, my friend, is up to you.
AJ?
Stella, yo.
Hey, what's up?
What are you doing here?
I just came to talk to Karla.
'Cause she left me
with her car last night.
- Karla?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I went by her place, she wasn't there.
She said she was
coming here for brunch.
Brunch?
A little early for brunch, isn't it?
Babe, will you give us a minute?
Yeah, sure thing.
It was nice meeting you.
- AJ, right?
- Yeah, AJ.
How you doing?
It's been a minute.
Karla told you
she was coming here?
Yeah. I mean, for brunch, right?
AJ,
Karla and I haven't spoken in...
almost six months.
You don't know where she is right now?
You know what, she said she was gonna
call you for brunch, and then...
and then we went to a pig race.
I'm supposed to meet up with her
at the river, but she lost her phone.
You're still using.
Wow.
You know what? Actually, fuck this.
I don't really need this right now,
so, good luck with
your fucking ceramics.
Are you using with Karla, using together?
- No.
- Don't fucking lie to me, AJ.
Not fucking lying.
This isn't a joke.
Do you know where she is or not?
Yeah, I know where she is,
so I'm gonna go get her.
It's fucking serious.
I know my sister.
- I fucking know her, too.
- Do you?
- You know why she dropped out of UCLA?
- She OD'd. I know all about it.
She OD'd.
That's what she told you.
It wasn't an accident.
Karla!
Hey, Karla!
Hey, K.
Karla. Karla.
How many did you take?
Hey, how many did you take?
Karla! Karla!
Karla!
You know,
I stopped by Stella's place earlier.
I thought you guys were doing brunch.
Where's Avocado?
I can't even take care of a dog.
I'm sorry, K.
You sure you don't want anything?
Yeah, actually,
could you get me a pack of Lights?
So just those and 11 bucks
on pump four, please.
OK.
Sign, please.
- You got that little short string, huh?
- Yeah.
Guess that's what
God gave us fingers for.
- Have a nice day.
- You too.
Yo, AJ.
- Bruh.
- Oh, my God. Jesus.
You scared the shit out of me.
I just got my car back.
I'm not trying
to blow it up right away.
Yeah, my bad.
I'm fuckin'...
fried right now.
Antidepressants can
increase suicidal thoughts
and behaviors in teens
and young adults.
Depression took the color from my life.
Now I paint my own canvas.
Side effects might include
nausea, dizziness, heart disease,
or thoughts of suicide.
Ask your doctor
if Dexaprine's right for you.
THE SWITCH
Kelly... wants to bang you.
For one or both of you?
Uh, both of us.
For IOP, inpatient, or detox?
- Detox.
- Detox.
Alright.
Let me get you
some paperwork to fill out.
Jess, did you know...
Here comes the mansplain.
...that in Italian, there are
16 different words for love?
Sixteen? Jeez.
Meanwhile, in English, we have
57 different words for...
I love this show.
Do you guys have
a phone I could use?
There's a payphone in the lobby.
Payphones.
They still got those?
There's some quarters in the car, I think.
Here you go.
You can have a seat.
Thank you.
I'll need your friend
to fill these out as well.
OK.
- She'll be right back.
- Mm-hmm.
IN LOVING MEMORY OF NEIL