Little Girl (2020) Movie Script
1
Maybe.
Or that maybe.
Holy cow!
Watch out!
Thank you.
You're welcome.
LITTLE GIRL
Sasha,
for a long time now, feels like--
No, Sasha doesn't feel like,
Sasha is a little girl.
A little girl in a boy's body.
Since he's been old enough to...
To identify his gender,
he says he's a little girl?
He doesn't say he's a little girl.
It started with Sasha saying...
When I grow up, I'll be a girl.
- When he was two.
- Since age two or three?
Two and a half, three.
Very early on.
I said, no.
It was always there until the day
I really understood that...
It wasn't a passing fancy.
It's not a passing kiddie thing.
It comes back regularly?
It doesn't come back, it never leaves.
Sasha is a girl.
I see.
Sasha detests
his peepee.
Sasha detests not being able
to carry a baby in his tummy one day.
- Sasha tells me that.
- I see.
- So he verbalized it with you?
- Yes.
Now, let me ask you about pregnancy.
Was it a planned pregnancy?
Yes.
During pregnancy,
did you think about the baby's gender?
Did you perhaps...
unconsciously, want a girl or not?
Not unconsciously.
I did.
You wanted a girl.
When you found out
your baby was a boy,
how did you feel?
It's funny because today, the 21st,
is the same date
that I found out in 2010
that I was expecting a boy.
I was so disappointed.
You were?
No, it's tricky because you think...
It's my fault if his
life is difficult...
If my kid can't play like the others...
It's a feeling of guilt
you carry around.
Every day.
For dads, it's not an issue.
The advantage of being a man.
For moms,
if there's a problem at birth,
like I had with Valentin, for example,
we blame ourselves.
Of course.
What did I do wrong?
Did I want something so bad I...
Should I have done this?
Or did I eat that?
You doubt everything.
You doubt yourself because you think...
The idea is to do right by your kids.
And maybe just by thinking,
just by wanting,
you do something that...
And so, at school, I was literally...
They made it clear
that it was...
Basically, it was me driving Sasha
to be a girl.
That it was...
Did the school suggest
meeting a psychologist
or recommend that you go see one?
You never saw anyone about it?
Psychologists or
child psychiatrists here,
you call, they say yes, sure,
then no news.
Since October, I've been waiting.
I don't have the skills.
I think you need to reach out
to a specialist in this field.
There must be someone.
Not here, sure, or even in Reims.
Maybe somewhere around Paris.
That's doable, right?
I hope so.
I win!
I didn't dare talk about it at first.
I wasn't sure what was going on.
It was new to me, too.
I think it really struck me
when Sasha was four.
He kept saying,
"Mom, when I grow up, I'll be a girl."
I told him, no, Sasha,
you'll never be a girl.
And Sasha started crying.
Real tears of pain.
The tears of...
I'd wrecked his life.
I'd shattered all his dreams.
By saying that.
You know when your child
cries tears of pain.
And I said to myself,
"What did you just say?"
I tried to reassure Sasha,
but the damage was done--
after, it took so long
to reassure Sasha.
I didn't get it,
I had no idea about all this.
I did some research and thought,
goodness, it's much deeper
than wanting to be like Mom.
That's not it.
That was...
It was difficult.
We were sitting there.
I was sitting.
She was standing.
There really was this look...
Panic-stricken.
Like, "what happens to me
if I can't be a girl?"
As light as you can be.
Second group, ready?
And go.
Any way you want, Sasha.
You don't have to copy your friend.
Try to be even lighter still.
Yes, really, totally delicate,
but keep moving.
Ready, girls?
All right, go.
Then one day...
he asked for a dress.
So we went to buy a dress.
I was embarrassed.
Embarrassed in the store.
I'm not proud of it.
I was scared what people would think.
Clearly.
And Sasha tried on a dress.
A little dress with Minnie on it.
I saw him look in the mirror,
in his dress with such...
Such happiness.
After that, I didn't care
what people thought.
I did wonder if it was all my fault,
wanting a little girl so badly
that this happened.
Then I thought maybe Sasha...
as I'd miscarried with girls before,
maybe Sasha had worked out
how to survive,
making out he was a boy,
but wasn't actually.
His testicles hadn't descended
and so on.
Why is Sasha our only child
with a unisex name?
Why?
Perhaps after all it was meant to be.
Yes, Sasha, that's good!
I was a bit surprised that I...
Surprised and...
Not annoyed
but stunned I didn't notice, see?
Sure, I'm not always around.
Karine is with the children more,
so their relationship isn't the same.
No, in terms of...
With regard to Sasha...
There was never any question...
My child, period.
For me, that's...
It's not about tolerating or...
For me, it's...
It's Sasha, period.
One, two, three, sunlight!
I'm not a dad insisting he'll be a boy.
I want Sasha to be happy.
Above all, I want things to improve,
even if it's at age eight,
it's not easy.
Vadim, you moved.
Sasha didn't even notice.
Heard you, Soline.
Let's hold hands.
We'll win together.
- Ready?
- Yes.
You come down here.
Sweetheart.
Sleep well?
Yes.
- You ended up the right way?
- Yes.
At 2:00 AM,
you were the wrong way around.
Hey, beautiful!
How are you?
One arm at a time is easier.
I know, dear.
It comes with having long hair.
Hurry up, Sasha.
I don't feel like
Sasha lives the life she should.
At school, they prevent her
from being like other kids.
Sasha is rejected by the boys
for being too feminine.
And rejected by the girls
as too feminine to be a boy.
Sasha has never invited a friend home.
Her room's a little girl's room,
so she's scared
of what they'll say later.
If, at school...
If the adults don't accept Sasha
for what she is,
the children are bound
to follow the path of the teachers,
who are the model...
The model to follow.
They're told, "Do what I say."
And they do.
Lots of parents likewise.
No, Sasha cannot live...
Sasha doesn't have
the life she deserves.
Sasha doesn't have her childhood.
She is deprived of her childhood.
Sasha can't...
New school year, new school bag,
Sasha never gets the one she wants,
the pencil case she wants.
Sasha has no new dress
for the first day.
No, Sasha gets none of that.
She's missing out on her childhood.
I don't know why.
I don't see why it upsets people.
What is it to them?
If it didn't say on a piece of paper,
"Sex: boy"
who would know?
Who'd know?
When we're out, people say,
hi, missy, hi, dear.
Everybody.
But here,
because it says "Sex: male,"
my little girl has no childhood.
It's outrageous.
Welcome aboard the regional express
traveling to Paris-Gare du Nord.
You put lipstick on?
No.
But here it's pink
and here it's beige.
- See?
- I'm not wearing lipstick.
Paris-Gare du Nord.
We're getting to know
each other today,
so you can tell me your story.
And why you both came to see me
and what you expect from our meeting.
Why did we come, Sasha?
- What for?
- To...
What are you?
Who are you?
A girl.
There.
Were you born a girl or boy?
Boy.
So that's why we came.
It's the right place...
to come for that.
So why did we want to see the doctor?
For her to help us.
So, Sasha, you're in second grade.
How's it going at school?
Good but the...
My teacher isn't very...
nice.
I see.
The second grade teachers
aren't very nice.
There are two of them.
Mine does grades one and two,
but I'm in second grade.
Not very nice with you?
Or more generally, she's strict and...
With me, yes.
And with...
With Mommy, too.
But she's not my teacher.
You don't like her.
Yes, but that's...
That's true.
Fair point.
So things aren't too easy.
It's an issue you've raised with them?
Yes.
They suggested I was driving Sasha...
And Sasha would end up, to quote them,
"getting back on track."
I had problems with the principal, too.
Because they called a psychologist...
The psychologist for the whole county
that no one has ever seen.
And they threatened to write a report.
There.
Relations are not exactly cordial.
What about your friends?
It's okay with my friends,
but the ones I don't like bother me.
I see.
How do they bother you?
They say silly things.
Things they think I did
when I didn't do anything.
Do they make fun of you
or even bother you physically,
hitting or pushing you?
Anything like that?
Hitting or pushing, no.
Nobody ever pushed you, Sasha?
What?
Nobody ever pushed you?
What do you mean?
Nobody pushed you?
I went down there after...
Sure.
That's what I thought.
But Sasha finds it hard to...
She doesn't tell us, actually.
The time they bothered you
in the bathroom?
Yes, right.
Is there anything in particular
you wanted to say today?
Anything important to you?
When I was pregnant,
I really wanted a girl.
That's all.
I always wondered if that had...
No.
That's the simple answer.
The term used now is gender dysphoria.
That's the current term for it.
We don't know what causes it,
we know what doesn't.
It's not caused by mommy or daddy
wanting a child of the other gender.
That's a fear parents often report.
But we can rule it out
as a cause of gender dysphoria.
And it's not due to mistakes you made
or something you did wrong.
We can say now, that's not it.
The reason why, we don't know.
It is what it is, for whatever reason.
It just is.
You're not alone.
We see other children
in the same situation.
I wonder if I was right to let Sasha...
dress as a girl or...
to say "she."
Did I...
Accepting it does not explain
gender dysphoria.
In situations like this,
you do what instinctively feels right.
It's not your decision
to allow her to try dressing as a girl
that resulted in gender dysphoria.
Your choice was not a mistake.
It was a choice
stemming from who you are as a parent.
And the only limit that might have
comes if your attitude is rigid, saying,
if you're not a boy,
you must be a girl.
You don't say that.
You say,
try it out,
since you feel you're a girl.
It's okay to feel you're a girl,
dress as a girl, so we'll see.
Do you have anything to add, Sasha?
Sorry?
Anything you'd like to add?
Don't know.
You squeeze Mom's hand as if to say,
Mom, it was the right choice.
I'm glad.
Right?
You reassure her?
Something's making you sad.
Do you want to share with us?
Like my being here stops her talking.
We'll get chances to talk,
the two of us.
Now we're getting to know each other.
You wanted us to talk alone today
or not really?
Not really.
It's often like that.
You want a tissue, too?
Does it all scare you sometimes?
Does it scare you, the whole thing?
Not much.
I'd like to know if, for example...
Something very practical, very real.
For school right now,
could you give me a letter...
that proves to them
that Sasha and I are not crazy?
So they'll back off
because it's exhausting,
constantly going to school
to fight them.
Of course.
Thank you.
And I don't know the next steps...
I guess Sasha will need to talk
without me.
She's always scared of hurting me.
I think she's scared of saying things
that will hurt me.
Don't be.
Nothing hurts me.
I'll write up a certificate
and you think of questions you may have.
The tears in your eyes
are about school?
Do you have a sense
that with our department's support,
things would change at Sasha's school?
I hope so, I don't know.
For a while, I thought they would.
Recent events cause me to doubt that.
At the same time, I tell myself,
they keep saying
that when they have proof,
things will change,
so I'll give them a chance to prove it.
Going back to the school with a letter,
I'll see right away
if things change or not.
But clearly if things don't change,
it can't go on.
The two to three girls you're fond of,
do they talk to you as a girl or not?
Do they, dear...
They say "she" when they talk to you?
No?
Would you like them to?
SASHA HAS GENDER DYSPHORIA,
REQUIRING SPECIALIZED TREATMENT.
THE SUFFERING ENGENDERED
BY THE DISCREPANCY
BETWEEN THE GENDER
ASSIGNED AT BIRTH (MALE)
AND THE GENDER
SASHA IDENTIFIES AS (FEMALE)
MAY JUSTIFY SOCIAL TRANSITION
(ACKNOWLEDGING SASHAAS A GIRL,
USING FEMALE PRONOUNS),
INSIDE AND OUTSIDE FAMILY LIFE.
Tired, dear?
- What?
- Are you tired?
You too?
- She'll receive treatment?
- Not right away.
We need to meet her endocrinologist...
who'll explain to us
all about the onset of puberty,
in order to block puberty.
That doesn't mean...
It's not irreversible.
If ever Sasha as a teenager
says she's happier as a guy...
- No problem.
- I see.
All the decisions that they make
are made as a group.
It's not, you know...
Nothing is irreversible.
If Sasha lives as a girl for 10 years,
she lives as a girl for 10 years,
period.
And in terms of morphology?
That's why it blocks it.
Sasha's a little twig.
They're doctors, they must know...
Yeah, sure.
There'll be a...
They'll ask about family history,
stuff like that, and most likely...
Honestly, I didn't think
to ask about the tests they run.
When you start that,
it prevents hair growth,
the Adam's apple, stuff like that.
Musculature that's a bit too...
The main thing
is that we have a letter.
I can't wait to see the principal.
If he refuses,
I'll tell him to shove it.
For sure.
Given the arguments he comes up with,
as an education professional...
Last time,
he came up with the fact that,
without a letter, his hands were tied.
So let's see.
His hands were tied but mostly,
he was wigged out over their image.
Their image?
If they reject Sasha,
leave that to me.
Absolutely.
So Lola knows?
Yes.
What was her reaction?
Good.
It makes no difference to her.
She likes you for you.
There you go, that's good.
She's a real friend.
Now she says "she" and "her."
Does she?
That's good.
Should we invite Lola over one day?
Yes.
You'd like that?
Now she understands,
I can show her my room.
Sure.
Tho understands too.
I can show him too.
Yes.
That'd be good.
We'll invite him?
Yes.
Lola asked me if she could come.
I wanted to check with you.
You'd like a friend over?
Yes.
I'll ask her mommy.
Your butt hurting?
Little bony butt, that's why.
It'll be cool if your friend can come.
Why, next week, in third grade...
Next week?
You mean next year.
We have to switch schools?
I don't know yet.
Staying at your school depends on
Mr. Djat's reaction.
If he lets you be you or not.
You really want to stay?
Your friends are there?
Don't cry, dear.
I'll do my best.
Look at me.
I'll do my best.
Don't worry, I'll do my very best.
My very best,
so you don't have to switch, okay?
I promise you, you know that.
Baby, hush.
You won't lose your friends.
All right?
You know that?
Yes.
Don't make yourself sick over it.
All right?
Hello, Mrs. Kovac calling for Mr. Djat.
Can he contact me when he's free?
Thanks, bye.
Hello, Mrs. Kovac again,
trying to reach the principal.
Well, I'll be expecting your call.
Thank you, bye.
Let's try full costume this time, okay?
I'll hand them out.
Try them on over your clothes,
no problem.
All right. Sasha...
There you go, champ.
Angelina.
Lily.
Is it the right size for Lily?
Yes, we tried it.
Who remembers their colors?
- I was pink.
- Violet!
- Pink!
- Violet.
All right...
Pink on this side,
violet on the other.
I think I was violet.
Solenn, you were pink.
With a pink headband.
We're princesses.
Chinese princesses,
not just princesses.
Clmentine, your turn.
Sasha, not too hot?
I'm dancing here, I'm spinning.
See if your parents let you.
Let's put it on you.
She's violet.
Ready to see.
- Feels nice!
- Better?
Does it twirl when you dance?
I don't know.
- It's not a little big?
- No.
I love dresses, too.
Even though I don't
wear them to school.
One day.
Even to ballet.
- What?
- Even to ballet, one day.
Yes, one day.
You wear them here, when we go out.
That's...
- Yes.
- All right?
School will come around.
I have a medical certificate,
which says it would be preferable,
within the family, outside,
and at school,
to consider Sasha to be a girl.
Yes, so...
There we go, I...
I have the certificate,
as you requested.
Some proof.
I have it.
I hope so, yes.
Sasha is scared
of having to switch schools.
We're very...
She's made some friends.
She's happy there.
I'd like her to stay.
There are children
who are perfectly accepting of her.
I'd like the adults to be the same.
No, I realize you need to meet
the psychiatrist for a briefing.
It's no problem.
We'll see how we can arrange it
with the doctor.
See what she can do.
And take it from there.
Welcome, everybody.
Thank you for coming this morning.
For this meeting.
We're here to discuss
gender dysphoria.
It is particularly relevant personally
since it affects Sasha.
Most of you here know Sasha.
But I suppose you have questions.
Dr. Bargiacchi has kindly come along.
The idea was for her to meet
the school teachers.
With the meeting taking place at school.
As you see, that wasn't possible,
and nobody from school is here.
Nobody thought to inform me.
There we go.
I hope this will be of help
for some of you maybe,
in explaining it to other people.
And maybe help open up people's minds.
And change them.
My aim as a mother is for Sasha
to experience childhood normally.
Locked in her boy's body,
she's a girl.
I want Sasha to be as happy
at school as she is at home,
or when she meets you all.
You all mostly
accept her for who she is,
and love her for who she is,
and contribute to her blossoming.
The child psychiatrist came.
Friends and other parents, too.
But nobody from school came or called.
A few days later,
school suggests meeting
Dr. Bargiacchi to
explore the possibility
of Sasha starting next year as a girl.
Except they propose a date
in three months,
on September 13th,
10 days after school begins.
If I send Sasha along as a boy
and ten days later,
she goes as a girl,
the kids in her class won't get it.
Over things that are quite simple,
they really get...
their heads in a muddle
and now it's just pathetic.
Hold on, it's not simple for them
in their uptight world.
- Yes but...
- It's not simple.
- They're super small-minded.
- Sure.
You met teachers
who are way more open-minded,
like, it's no problem.
Just not in that school.
I mean, it's clearly a personal thing.
Nobody's asking
them to jump off a cliff.
They have lots to gain.
The more they dig in,
the more it pisses you off.
It makes you want to make them cave.
When school says,
"No, you can't be that,
"you're not born like that.
"You were born a boy, not a girl,
so you're a boy."
I really don't get that.
I don't get people judging her when...
she was born in the wrong body,
she didn't choose.
Even out shopping,
she's scared to dress as a girl.
In case she bumps
into someone from school.
At the pool, not so long ago,
she was scared
to wear a girl's swimsuit.
I want to be a role model.
I want her to see a strong big sister.
I want to be her wing woman.
I want to be there for her.
If she needs me,
she calls and I'm there.
We'll do our best.
I told you guys.
This year is a year of...
wait and see.
We see if we stay at the school...
All right?
If you really want to be seen
and accepted for what you are,
if they don't do it there, or not now,
I doubt they will later.
You know it won't be easy
for people to understand.
We knew that.
We've talked about it.
That's right.
A sword!
Sword!
Or a stick.
You're the stick.
I'm the sword.
Look, Soline.
Can I try now?
- Wait.
- No, me!
You think we're right?
Sure. Don't take it from them.
Don't take it from idiots.
The best thing is to fight back.
Don't take it from them,
it's pointless.
You're not mad at me?
I couldn't be mad at you.
Even if I'm not always around.
You have good reasons.
Boys shorts, done.
- Next?
- Those too.
Those too, take them out.
On the pile.
Actually, let me do it.
Keep going.
Those there.
Those there, right.
No.
No.
It's pink, too!
Not that.
I'm not bothered about it.
School things, you don't want?
No.
I mean, yes.
It's up to you.
Yes.
Yes.
Never worn, that one.
Why? What does it say on it?
Makes one for Vadim.
There, we're done, young lady.
I've made my choices.
There you go, only girls' things now.
Girls wear blue too, look.
I know.
And boys, pink.
You always get rid of anything blue.
I know it's annoying,
but I can't help it.
No notes from the teachers?
I have something about P.E.
The running thing, whatever it is.
- Middle-distance?
- No.
- Cross-country.
- Right.
When is it?
I forget.
Show me later.
Vadim!
What, Mommy?
Is that the right way to eat?
Use a napkin.
With all this sauce, I know you.
There's nothing on your fork.
Try putting something on it.
I love you.
I love you too, but I want you to eat.
What?
Eat!
No, you eat.
You're happy Lola's coming?
Sure.
You'll show her your room?
Sure!
Watch out for cars.
Watch out here.
No, they go there.
That shoe?
Let's put shoes here.
Her glasses were there earlier.
No, they were here.
Who cares?
I'm the world's most beautiful princess.
Besides me, of course.
Look at her shoes.
I have some ballgowns I didn't bring.
Or else you...
Look!
Look how beautiful I am.
With this thing.
More beautiful than you.
You're the ugly one.
Hold on.
I'll change.
High heels are better.
I'll help you take those off.
They stick.
I'm going to my castle.
You want to come?
Let's pretend you're my mother.
- No.
- Yes!
No, I'm your sister.
You're the youngest.
One!
Two!
You lose.
One, two, three!
I didn't say go.
Don't cheat, missy.
You win.
Again.
We won!
Why don't you tell me
how you are, Sasha?
Good.
When did we last meet?
A while ago.
Back in May?
And again in June.
In May, here in my office.
Anything special happened since May?
Not really.
Not really?
It's summer break?
Yes?
How did the end of school go?
Good.
You got good grades?
A good report card?
I think so.
- And how has Sasha been recently?
- Blooming.
- I see.
- What's blooming mean?
Like a flower, opening up.
She lets herself go more.
She's fearless.
Or at least she overcomes her fears.
Isn't that true, dear?
Little warrior.
Did you think
of something that helped?
Do you know what changed?
Why you're not so scared?
I don't know, I just am.
How'd you tell friends,
the girl you told?
I told her...
That actually I was a girl.
There, simple as that.
Simple as that.
And they understood right away?
No.
They reacted...
Not Sasha Fenon.
She's our...
Yes, how did she react?
She said,
"No, you haven't got a..."
Whatever word she used, we understand.
I don't want to say it.
It's a little...
A little embarrassing?
I'm a doctor.
When you talk about your body,
I can cope.
It's a bit...
All right?
How did you reply?
I said,
I am. I'm a girl.
Perfect.
- Sasha handled it well with the girls.
- Great.
Just explaining.
Born in a boy's body, but a girl.
Isn't that right?
Your body is your business.
It's yours, your private sphere.
Vassili, any questions?
No.
What about your friends?
I tell them...
Sasha's a...
A girl stuck in a boy's body.
I say that so they understand.
In her mind, she's a girl,
just not with the right body.
That's what I say so they understand.
Then they understand.
There you go.
If you have friends
who just met her,
you can say she's my sister, a girl,
without justifying it or explaining.
Anyone meeting Sasha now
won't even wonder about it.
I think.
For sure.
You remember, we talked about meeting
Dr. Martinerie, the endocrinologist?
She takes care of hormones.
Hormones are what our body produces
to give it a feminine or masculine look,
particularly during
what's called puberty.
Your mom and I thought
you should see her
even if puberty isn't right now.
To decide when to block puberty,
so nothing appears
that you don't want to appear.
With regard to preserving fertility,
I'll give you some info,
you discuss it,
as a couple, maybe with Sasha,
but she may struggle
to see so far ahead.
There's a variety of options now,
especially if puberty is blocked early.
She won't have functional sperm
at the time puberty is blocked.
So there'll be other options,
such as suspending
her hormone treatment
to give puberty
a few months' development,
although there's
doubt over it restarting
or producing functional sperm.
Or using the immature testicles
to mature them in vitro.
That implies discussing the timeframe.
Sure, there are other ways
to be a parent,
but if the aim is to preserve a chance
of being a biological parent,
you need to be aware of options early.
I see.
An absolute pain.
For her, not for me.
She's going to suffer.
Think teenagers, think first love,
think about...
all that's lying in wait for her.
Insults, threats, getting beat up.
It's all coming her way.
All of it.
Like when you have
a kid who's disabled,
and you think, "Whoa,
they won't be able to do this or that.
They can't live like everybody else."
Obviously, as a parent,
the first thing
that occurs to you is...
What can I do...
so my child suffers
as little as possible.
Swimwear is all up top.
Take a look, see what you find.
Thanks.
You want to try on a swimsuit?
Sure, but with something else.
With a dress over it to walk around.
A little skirt.
It's beautiful.
And a top with it.
No, I don't really like it.
You're picky, not a girl for nothing.
Find a top to try with it.
We'll ask if she has
one with butterflies.
It's kinda strange.
Turn around.
What's strange?
The swimsuit.
One like that.
Usually it's one-piece.
Try the skirt over it, so we can see.
There's so many seashells!
Did you enjoy your day, kids?
Watch out.
Ready?
Let me off!
I'm so tall.
Look, your eyes.
Look at your hair.
An egghead, a real egghead.
At some point, Sasha will be attacked.
For being different.
All these people who'll spit on Sasha
or try to hurt her,
they're in her future.
They'll crop up at some point.
Her personality will help her
but it won't protect her.
I told her, it's her battle and mine.
The battle of my life.
Sweets...
Morning, beautiful.
How are you?
First day back at school!
Eric!
What a charming sight!
You are so beautiful.
Come along, you must be starving.
Take a seat.
There we are, just here.
Perfect.
Not feeling so shy now?
Look at his paws.
I felt like I got no sleep.
Not at all.
This morning, I woke up, like,
how long have I been awake?
It felt like since yesterday.
Seriously, it's weird.
But I don't feel tired.
Thanks, your jacket's right there.
It's gonna be fine.
I hope.
Sasha can't wait
to be able to go to school
and live normally dressed as a girl.
You see?
For her, it's just human.
It's a no-brainer.
But she senses there are barriers.
Barriers with regard to her teachers...
The teacher she had...
The teacher she had last year.
Barriers with regard to the principal,
who is...
Without going into detail,
his attitude is holier-than-thou,
no pun intended.
There's a sense of...
No problem, but don't make waves.
Don't let the news get out because...
Sasha isn't in a freak show but,
it mustn't upset his system.
If the hotshot education professionals
had come out here in June
when Dr. Bargiacchi came,
things would be clear
for the school year.
We're going nowhere.
It's still all talk and no action.
All along,
they have ruined everything.
If it's like last time,
we stand up and walk out.
We move forward without them.
We don't let the principal
preach at us again.
Try not to be too aggressive.
I won't, but he needs to understand
he can't string us along.
Either he accepts her or not, period.
There's no point yapping
on and on for years.
You know where we went, Sasha,
this morning, Dad and I?
School.
Your school.
The child psychiatrist,
Anne Bargiacchi,
was on the phone.
I didn't see her.
She joined the meeting by phone.
She couldn't be there.
So we talked with lots of people.
Just a second.
That's why our teacher wasn't there.
That's right.
It went on a long time.
Yes.
Because of us.
So...
From now on...
For school, you're a little girl.
What you wear is up to you.
School sees no problem
with you coming
dressed any way you like.
It's cool.
There you go.
And for all the rest, swimming,
class trips and so on, no problem.
Some children might wonder
why you're dressed as a girl.
What will you tell them?
I'm a girl.
That's right. Exactly.
I'll say I'm a boy.
See, we're getting there.
Thanks.
The jacket now?
I'll take a photo afterward.
As tight as we can.
Beauty is pain, they say.
- Hello, Doctor.
- Hi, Sasha.
- How are you?
- Very well, thanks. Go on in.
How does it feel,
going to school in a skirt?
It's cool.
Great.
It's made you happy.
And for your boy and girl friends,
seeing you in a skirt?
My girl friend...
she doesn't care.
She already saw me like that.
The other one didn't say anything.
Perhaps because they found it normal?
The others, they don't care.
So nobody asked strange questions?
Good, that's nice.
Is there anything you want to discuss?
Any thoughts of,
"I'd like to discuss that
with Dr. Bargiacchi"?
Yes, but I don't want to say it.
I see.
Because the time's not right?
Or you want us to talk alone later?
No.
You told Mom or Dad,
what you wanted us to discuss?
Ballet?
Can I ask them?
The Conservatory?
What happened exactly
at the Conservatory?
You'll tell me?
Mom? Dad?
Not me.
I was there, so...
I took Sasha to her...
Her ballet class.
It was the second one this year.
At the first, I explained
to the new ballet teacher...
all about Sasha.
She didn't take it very... very well.
Never mind.
At the second, she says,
I talked to my managers, and so on.
Basically, Sasha can't come as a girl.
I said to her,
"Why?"
Anyway, that was that.
She's Russian and said,
"In Russia, they don't have this."
Basically, she didn't understand.
She literally pushed Sasha out.
Sasha started crying.
Everybody was there.
The teacher said all this to me
in front of the parents,
kids, and so on.
She pushed Sasha out of the room,
so Sasha was crying.
In pain, quite clearly.
And she closed the door on Sasha,
with a little smile.
It was exceptionally violent
because it was
so mean and humiliating,
in front of everybody,
without giving us a chance.
I feel like I hugely disappointed Sasha.
She expected...
I don't think she was expecting...
She felt I let her down, I think.
What more could Mommy have done?
It's important to give yourself time.
Especially with people
who don't understand or say things
that are reprehensible, transphobic...
Most likely,
she couldn't do much. Sadly.
What do you think, looking back on it?
Nothing.
Looking at your face, I sense sadness.
Anything else?
You're upset maybe?
Or angry?
You have the right to be angry.
I'm angry.
Are you angry, too?
Both.
Both.
Sad and angry?
It's unacceptable, to act like that.
It's worth not letting it go unpunished.
Sasha told me something after ballet,
when she was crying in her room...
She said,
I wonder if there's any point fighting.
That really...
Do you remember saying that?
You were crying and said,
I wonder if there's any point fighting.
I was really...
You don't remember?
When you were crying, you said that.
There is a point.
That was when I was...
five, four maybe.
Five, four or three.
Three, four or five.
See, I've changed.
I was still in the stroller.
I am convinced we all have
a role to play... in life.
At a given age, a given time...
I'm convinced we all have
a mission or something to accomplish.
I think Sasha...
Sasha is here...
perhaps to help change
people's attitudes.
And I'm here to help her.
There you go.
Perhaps.
Thanks to Sasha and all her family
Maybe.
Or that maybe.
Holy cow!
Watch out!
Thank you.
You're welcome.
LITTLE GIRL
Sasha,
for a long time now, feels like--
No, Sasha doesn't feel like,
Sasha is a little girl.
A little girl in a boy's body.
Since he's been old enough to...
To identify his gender,
he says he's a little girl?
He doesn't say he's a little girl.
It started with Sasha saying...
When I grow up, I'll be a girl.
- When he was two.
- Since age two or three?
Two and a half, three.
Very early on.
I said, no.
It was always there until the day
I really understood that...
It wasn't a passing fancy.
It's not a passing kiddie thing.
It comes back regularly?
It doesn't come back, it never leaves.
Sasha is a girl.
I see.
Sasha detests
his peepee.
Sasha detests not being able
to carry a baby in his tummy one day.
- Sasha tells me that.
- I see.
- So he verbalized it with you?
- Yes.
Now, let me ask you about pregnancy.
Was it a planned pregnancy?
Yes.
During pregnancy,
did you think about the baby's gender?
Did you perhaps...
unconsciously, want a girl or not?
Not unconsciously.
I did.
You wanted a girl.
When you found out
your baby was a boy,
how did you feel?
It's funny because today, the 21st,
is the same date
that I found out in 2010
that I was expecting a boy.
I was so disappointed.
You were?
No, it's tricky because you think...
It's my fault if his
life is difficult...
If my kid can't play like the others...
It's a feeling of guilt
you carry around.
Every day.
For dads, it's not an issue.
The advantage of being a man.
For moms,
if there's a problem at birth,
like I had with Valentin, for example,
we blame ourselves.
Of course.
What did I do wrong?
Did I want something so bad I...
Should I have done this?
Or did I eat that?
You doubt everything.
You doubt yourself because you think...
The idea is to do right by your kids.
And maybe just by thinking,
just by wanting,
you do something that...
And so, at school, I was literally...
They made it clear
that it was...
Basically, it was me driving Sasha
to be a girl.
That it was...
Did the school suggest
meeting a psychologist
or recommend that you go see one?
You never saw anyone about it?
Psychologists or
child psychiatrists here,
you call, they say yes, sure,
then no news.
Since October, I've been waiting.
I don't have the skills.
I think you need to reach out
to a specialist in this field.
There must be someone.
Not here, sure, or even in Reims.
Maybe somewhere around Paris.
That's doable, right?
I hope so.
I win!
I didn't dare talk about it at first.
I wasn't sure what was going on.
It was new to me, too.
I think it really struck me
when Sasha was four.
He kept saying,
"Mom, when I grow up, I'll be a girl."
I told him, no, Sasha,
you'll never be a girl.
And Sasha started crying.
Real tears of pain.
The tears of...
I'd wrecked his life.
I'd shattered all his dreams.
By saying that.
You know when your child
cries tears of pain.
And I said to myself,
"What did you just say?"
I tried to reassure Sasha,
but the damage was done--
after, it took so long
to reassure Sasha.
I didn't get it,
I had no idea about all this.
I did some research and thought,
goodness, it's much deeper
than wanting to be like Mom.
That's not it.
That was...
It was difficult.
We were sitting there.
I was sitting.
She was standing.
There really was this look...
Panic-stricken.
Like, "what happens to me
if I can't be a girl?"
As light as you can be.
Second group, ready?
And go.
Any way you want, Sasha.
You don't have to copy your friend.
Try to be even lighter still.
Yes, really, totally delicate,
but keep moving.
Ready, girls?
All right, go.
Then one day...
he asked for a dress.
So we went to buy a dress.
I was embarrassed.
Embarrassed in the store.
I'm not proud of it.
I was scared what people would think.
Clearly.
And Sasha tried on a dress.
A little dress with Minnie on it.
I saw him look in the mirror,
in his dress with such...
Such happiness.
After that, I didn't care
what people thought.
I did wonder if it was all my fault,
wanting a little girl so badly
that this happened.
Then I thought maybe Sasha...
as I'd miscarried with girls before,
maybe Sasha had worked out
how to survive,
making out he was a boy,
but wasn't actually.
His testicles hadn't descended
and so on.
Why is Sasha our only child
with a unisex name?
Why?
Perhaps after all it was meant to be.
Yes, Sasha, that's good!
I was a bit surprised that I...
Surprised and...
Not annoyed
but stunned I didn't notice, see?
Sure, I'm not always around.
Karine is with the children more,
so their relationship isn't the same.
No, in terms of...
With regard to Sasha...
There was never any question...
My child, period.
For me, that's...
It's not about tolerating or...
For me, it's...
It's Sasha, period.
One, two, three, sunlight!
I'm not a dad insisting he'll be a boy.
I want Sasha to be happy.
Above all, I want things to improve,
even if it's at age eight,
it's not easy.
Vadim, you moved.
Sasha didn't even notice.
Heard you, Soline.
Let's hold hands.
We'll win together.
- Ready?
- Yes.
You come down here.
Sweetheart.
Sleep well?
Yes.
- You ended up the right way?
- Yes.
At 2:00 AM,
you were the wrong way around.
Hey, beautiful!
How are you?
One arm at a time is easier.
I know, dear.
It comes with having long hair.
Hurry up, Sasha.
I don't feel like
Sasha lives the life she should.
At school, they prevent her
from being like other kids.
Sasha is rejected by the boys
for being too feminine.
And rejected by the girls
as too feminine to be a boy.
Sasha has never invited a friend home.
Her room's a little girl's room,
so she's scared
of what they'll say later.
If, at school...
If the adults don't accept Sasha
for what she is,
the children are bound
to follow the path of the teachers,
who are the model...
The model to follow.
They're told, "Do what I say."
And they do.
Lots of parents likewise.
No, Sasha cannot live...
Sasha doesn't have
the life she deserves.
Sasha doesn't have her childhood.
She is deprived of her childhood.
Sasha can't...
New school year, new school bag,
Sasha never gets the one she wants,
the pencil case she wants.
Sasha has no new dress
for the first day.
No, Sasha gets none of that.
She's missing out on her childhood.
I don't know why.
I don't see why it upsets people.
What is it to them?
If it didn't say on a piece of paper,
"Sex: boy"
who would know?
Who'd know?
When we're out, people say,
hi, missy, hi, dear.
Everybody.
But here,
because it says "Sex: male,"
my little girl has no childhood.
It's outrageous.
Welcome aboard the regional express
traveling to Paris-Gare du Nord.
You put lipstick on?
No.
But here it's pink
and here it's beige.
- See?
- I'm not wearing lipstick.
Paris-Gare du Nord.
We're getting to know
each other today,
so you can tell me your story.
And why you both came to see me
and what you expect from our meeting.
Why did we come, Sasha?
- What for?
- To...
What are you?
Who are you?
A girl.
There.
Were you born a girl or boy?
Boy.
So that's why we came.
It's the right place...
to come for that.
So why did we want to see the doctor?
For her to help us.
So, Sasha, you're in second grade.
How's it going at school?
Good but the...
My teacher isn't very...
nice.
I see.
The second grade teachers
aren't very nice.
There are two of them.
Mine does grades one and two,
but I'm in second grade.
Not very nice with you?
Or more generally, she's strict and...
With me, yes.
And with...
With Mommy, too.
But she's not my teacher.
You don't like her.
Yes, but that's...
That's true.
Fair point.
So things aren't too easy.
It's an issue you've raised with them?
Yes.
They suggested I was driving Sasha...
And Sasha would end up, to quote them,
"getting back on track."
I had problems with the principal, too.
Because they called a psychologist...
The psychologist for the whole county
that no one has ever seen.
And they threatened to write a report.
There.
Relations are not exactly cordial.
What about your friends?
It's okay with my friends,
but the ones I don't like bother me.
I see.
How do they bother you?
They say silly things.
Things they think I did
when I didn't do anything.
Do they make fun of you
or even bother you physically,
hitting or pushing you?
Anything like that?
Hitting or pushing, no.
Nobody ever pushed you, Sasha?
What?
Nobody ever pushed you?
What do you mean?
Nobody pushed you?
I went down there after...
Sure.
That's what I thought.
But Sasha finds it hard to...
She doesn't tell us, actually.
The time they bothered you
in the bathroom?
Yes, right.
Is there anything in particular
you wanted to say today?
Anything important to you?
When I was pregnant,
I really wanted a girl.
That's all.
I always wondered if that had...
No.
That's the simple answer.
The term used now is gender dysphoria.
That's the current term for it.
We don't know what causes it,
we know what doesn't.
It's not caused by mommy or daddy
wanting a child of the other gender.
That's a fear parents often report.
But we can rule it out
as a cause of gender dysphoria.
And it's not due to mistakes you made
or something you did wrong.
We can say now, that's not it.
The reason why, we don't know.
It is what it is, for whatever reason.
It just is.
You're not alone.
We see other children
in the same situation.
I wonder if I was right to let Sasha...
dress as a girl or...
to say "she."
Did I...
Accepting it does not explain
gender dysphoria.
In situations like this,
you do what instinctively feels right.
It's not your decision
to allow her to try dressing as a girl
that resulted in gender dysphoria.
Your choice was not a mistake.
It was a choice
stemming from who you are as a parent.
And the only limit that might have
comes if your attitude is rigid, saying,
if you're not a boy,
you must be a girl.
You don't say that.
You say,
try it out,
since you feel you're a girl.
It's okay to feel you're a girl,
dress as a girl, so we'll see.
Do you have anything to add, Sasha?
Sorry?
Anything you'd like to add?
Don't know.
You squeeze Mom's hand as if to say,
Mom, it was the right choice.
I'm glad.
Right?
You reassure her?
Something's making you sad.
Do you want to share with us?
Like my being here stops her talking.
We'll get chances to talk,
the two of us.
Now we're getting to know each other.
You wanted us to talk alone today
or not really?
Not really.
It's often like that.
You want a tissue, too?
Does it all scare you sometimes?
Does it scare you, the whole thing?
Not much.
I'd like to know if, for example...
Something very practical, very real.
For school right now,
could you give me a letter...
that proves to them
that Sasha and I are not crazy?
So they'll back off
because it's exhausting,
constantly going to school
to fight them.
Of course.
Thank you.
And I don't know the next steps...
I guess Sasha will need to talk
without me.
She's always scared of hurting me.
I think she's scared of saying things
that will hurt me.
Don't be.
Nothing hurts me.
I'll write up a certificate
and you think of questions you may have.
The tears in your eyes
are about school?
Do you have a sense
that with our department's support,
things would change at Sasha's school?
I hope so, I don't know.
For a while, I thought they would.
Recent events cause me to doubt that.
At the same time, I tell myself,
they keep saying
that when they have proof,
things will change,
so I'll give them a chance to prove it.
Going back to the school with a letter,
I'll see right away
if things change or not.
But clearly if things don't change,
it can't go on.
The two to three girls you're fond of,
do they talk to you as a girl or not?
Do they, dear...
They say "she" when they talk to you?
No?
Would you like them to?
SASHA HAS GENDER DYSPHORIA,
REQUIRING SPECIALIZED TREATMENT.
THE SUFFERING ENGENDERED
BY THE DISCREPANCY
BETWEEN THE GENDER
ASSIGNED AT BIRTH (MALE)
AND THE GENDER
SASHA IDENTIFIES AS (FEMALE)
MAY JUSTIFY SOCIAL TRANSITION
(ACKNOWLEDGING SASHAAS A GIRL,
USING FEMALE PRONOUNS),
INSIDE AND OUTSIDE FAMILY LIFE.
Tired, dear?
- What?
- Are you tired?
You too?
- She'll receive treatment?
- Not right away.
We need to meet her endocrinologist...
who'll explain to us
all about the onset of puberty,
in order to block puberty.
That doesn't mean...
It's not irreversible.
If ever Sasha as a teenager
says she's happier as a guy...
- No problem.
- I see.
All the decisions that they make
are made as a group.
It's not, you know...
Nothing is irreversible.
If Sasha lives as a girl for 10 years,
she lives as a girl for 10 years,
period.
And in terms of morphology?
That's why it blocks it.
Sasha's a little twig.
They're doctors, they must know...
Yeah, sure.
There'll be a...
They'll ask about family history,
stuff like that, and most likely...
Honestly, I didn't think
to ask about the tests they run.
When you start that,
it prevents hair growth,
the Adam's apple, stuff like that.
Musculature that's a bit too...
The main thing
is that we have a letter.
I can't wait to see the principal.
If he refuses,
I'll tell him to shove it.
For sure.
Given the arguments he comes up with,
as an education professional...
Last time,
he came up with the fact that,
without a letter, his hands were tied.
So let's see.
His hands were tied but mostly,
he was wigged out over their image.
Their image?
If they reject Sasha,
leave that to me.
Absolutely.
So Lola knows?
Yes.
What was her reaction?
Good.
It makes no difference to her.
She likes you for you.
There you go, that's good.
She's a real friend.
Now she says "she" and "her."
Does she?
That's good.
Should we invite Lola over one day?
Yes.
You'd like that?
Now she understands,
I can show her my room.
Sure.
Tho understands too.
I can show him too.
Yes.
That'd be good.
We'll invite him?
Yes.
Lola asked me if she could come.
I wanted to check with you.
You'd like a friend over?
Yes.
I'll ask her mommy.
Your butt hurting?
Little bony butt, that's why.
It'll be cool if your friend can come.
Why, next week, in third grade...
Next week?
You mean next year.
We have to switch schools?
I don't know yet.
Staying at your school depends on
Mr. Djat's reaction.
If he lets you be you or not.
You really want to stay?
Your friends are there?
Don't cry, dear.
I'll do my best.
Look at me.
I'll do my best.
Don't worry, I'll do my very best.
My very best,
so you don't have to switch, okay?
I promise you, you know that.
Baby, hush.
You won't lose your friends.
All right?
You know that?
Yes.
Don't make yourself sick over it.
All right?
Hello, Mrs. Kovac calling for Mr. Djat.
Can he contact me when he's free?
Thanks, bye.
Hello, Mrs. Kovac again,
trying to reach the principal.
Well, I'll be expecting your call.
Thank you, bye.
Let's try full costume this time, okay?
I'll hand them out.
Try them on over your clothes,
no problem.
All right. Sasha...
There you go, champ.
Angelina.
Lily.
Is it the right size for Lily?
Yes, we tried it.
Who remembers their colors?
- I was pink.
- Violet!
- Pink!
- Violet.
All right...
Pink on this side,
violet on the other.
I think I was violet.
Solenn, you were pink.
With a pink headband.
We're princesses.
Chinese princesses,
not just princesses.
Clmentine, your turn.
Sasha, not too hot?
I'm dancing here, I'm spinning.
See if your parents let you.
Let's put it on you.
She's violet.
Ready to see.
- Feels nice!
- Better?
Does it twirl when you dance?
I don't know.
- It's not a little big?
- No.
I love dresses, too.
Even though I don't
wear them to school.
One day.
Even to ballet.
- What?
- Even to ballet, one day.
Yes, one day.
You wear them here, when we go out.
That's...
- Yes.
- All right?
School will come around.
I have a medical certificate,
which says it would be preferable,
within the family, outside,
and at school,
to consider Sasha to be a girl.
Yes, so...
There we go, I...
I have the certificate,
as you requested.
Some proof.
I have it.
I hope so, yes.
Sasha is scared
of having to switch schools.
We're very...
She's made some friends.
She's happy there.
I'd like her to stay.
There are children
who are perfectly accepting of her.
I'd like the adults to be the same.
No, I realize you need to meet
the psychiatrist for a briefing.
It's no problem.
We'll see how we can arrange it
with the doctor.
See what she can do.
And take it from there.
Welcome, everybody.
Thank you for coming this morning.
For this meeting.
We're here to discuss
gender dysphoria.
It is particularly relevant personally
since it affects Sasha.
Most of you here know Sasha.
But I suppose you have questions.
Dr. Bargiacchi has kindly come along.
The idea was for her to meet
the school teachers.
With the meeting taking place at school.
As you see, that wasn't possible,
and nobody from school is here.
Nobody thought to inform me.
There we go.
I hope this will be of help
for some of you maybe,
in explaining it to other people.
And maybe help open up people's minds.
And change them.
My aim as a mother is for Sasha
to experience childhood normally.
Locked in her boy's body,
she's a girl.
I want Sasha to be as happy
at school as she is at home,
or when she meets you all.
You all mostly
accept her for who she is,
and love her for who she is,
and contribute to her blossoming.
The child psychiatrist came.
Friends and other parents, too.
But nobody from school came or called.
A few days later,
school suggests meeting
Dr. Bargiacchi to
explore the possibility
of Sasha starting next year as a girl.
Except they propose a date
in three months,
on September 13th,
10 days after school begins.
If I send Sasha along as a boy
and ten days later,
she goes as a girl,
the kids in her class won't get it.
Over things that are quite simple,
they really get...
their heads in a muddle
and now it's just pathetic.
Hold on, it's not simple for them
in their uptight world.
- Yes but...
- It's not simple.
- They're super small-minded.
- Sure.
You met teachers
who are way more open-minded,
like, it's no problem.
Just not in that school.
I mean, it's clearly a personal thing.
Nobody's asking
them to jump off a cliff.
They have lots to gain.
The more they dig in,
the more it pisses you off.
It makes you want to make them cave.
When school says,
"No, you can't be that,
"you're not born like that.
"You were born a boy, not a girl,
so you're a boy."
I really don't get that.
I don't get people judging her when...
she was born in the wrong body,
she didn't choose.
Even out shopping,
she's scared to dress as a girl.
In case she bumps
into someone from school.
At the pool, not so long ago,
she was scared
to wear a girl's swimsuit.
I want to be a role model.
I want her to see a strong big sister.
I want to be her wing woman.
I want to be there for her.
If she needs me,
she calls and I'm there.
We'll do our best.
I told you guys.
This year is a year of...
wait and see.
We see if we stay at the school...
All right?
If you really want to be seen
and accepted for what you are,
if they don't do it there, or not now,
I doubt they will later.
You know it won't be easy
for people to understand.
We knew that.
We've talked about it.
That's right.
A sword!
Sword!
Or a stick.
You're the stick.
I'm the sword.
Look, Soline.
Can I try now?
- Wait.
- No, me!
You think we're right?
Sure. Don't take it from them.
Don't take it from idiots.
The best thing is to fight back.
Don't take it from them,
it's pointless.
You're not mad at me?
I couldn't be mad at you.
Even if I'm not always around.
You have good reasons.
Boys shorts, done.
- Next?
- Those too.
Those too, take them out.
On the pile.
Actually, let me do it.
Keep going.
Those there.
Those there, right.
No.
No.
It's pink, too!
Not that.
I'm not bothered about it.
School things, you don't want?
No.
I mean, yes.
It's up to you.
Yes.
Yes.
Never worn, that one.
Why? What does it say on it?
Makes one for Vadim.
There, we're done, young lady.
I've made my choices.
There you go, only girls' things now.
Girls wear blue too, look.
I know.
And boys, pink.
You always get rid of anything blue.
I know it's annoying,
but I can't help it.
No notes from the teachers?
I have something about P.E.
The running thing, whatever it is.
- Middle-distance?
- No.
- Cross-country.
- Right.
When is it?
I forget.
Show me later.
Vadim!
What, Mommy?
Is that the right way to eat?
Use a napkin.
With all this sauce, I know you.
There's nothing on your fork.
Try putting something on it.
I love you.
I love you too, but I want you to eat.
What?
Eat!
No, you eat.
You're happy Lola's coming?
Sure.
You'll show her your room?
Sure!
Watch out for cars.
Watch out here.
No, they go there.
That shoe?
Let's put shoes here.
Her glasses were there earlier.
No, they were here.
Who cares?
I'm the world's most beautiful princess.
Besides me, of course.
Look at her shoes.
I have some ballgowns I didn't bring.
Or else you...
Look!
Look how beautiful I am.
With this thing.
More beautiful than you.
You're the ugly one.
Hold on.
I'll change.
High heels are better.
I'll help you take those off.
They stick.
I'm going to my castle.
You want to come?
Let's pretend you're my mother.
- No.
- Yes!
No, I'm your sister.
You're the youngest.
One!
Two!
You lose.
One, two, three!
I didn't say go.
Don't cheat, missy.
You win.
Again.
We won!
Why don't you tell me
how you are, Sasha?
Good.
When did we last meet?
A while ago.
Back in May?
And again in June.
In May, here in my office.
Anything special happened since May?
Not really.
Not really?
It's summer break?
Yes?
How did the end of school go?
Good.
You got good grades?
A good report card?
I think so.
- And how has Sasha been recently?
- Blooming.
- I see.
- What's blooming mean?
Like a flower, opening up.
She lets herself go more.
She's fearless.
Or at least she overcomes her fears.
Isn't that true, dear?
Little warrior.
Did you think
of something that helped?
Do you know what changed?
Why you're not so scared?
I don't know, I just am.
How'd you tell friends,
the girl you told?
I told her...
That actually I was a girl.
There, simple as that.
Simple as that.
And they understood right away?
No.
They reacted...
Not Sasha Fenon.
She's our...
Yes, how did she react?
She said,
"No, you haven't got a..."
Whatever word she used, we understand.
I don't want to say it.
It's a little...
A little embarrassing?
I'm a doctor.
When you talk about your body,
I can cope.
It's a bit...
All right?
How did you reply?
I said,
I am. I'm a girl.
Perfect.
- Sasha handled it well with the girls.
- Great.
Just explaining.
Born in a boy's body, but a girl.
Isn't that right?
Your body is your business.
It's yours, your private sphere.
Vassili, any questions?
No.
What about your friends?
I tell them...
Sasha's a...
A girl stuck in a boy's body.
I say that so they understand.
In her mind, she's a girl,
just not with the right body.
That's what I say so they understand.
Then they understand.
There you go.
If you have friends
who just met her,
you can say she's my sister, a girl,
without justifying it or explaining.
Anyone meeting Sasha now
won't even wonder about it.
I think.
For sure.
You remember, we talked about meeting
Dr. Martinerie, the endocrinologist?
She takes care of hormones.
Hormones are what our body produces
to give it a feminine or masculine look,
particularly during
what's called puberty.
Your mom and I thought
you should see her
even if puberty isn't right now.
To decide when to block puberty,
so nothing appears
that you don't want to appear.
With regard to preserving fertility,
I'll give you some info,
you discuss it,
as a couple, maybe with Sasha,
but she may struggle
to see so far ahead.
There's a variety of options now,
especially if puberty is blocked early.
She won't have functional sperm
at the time puberty is blocked.
So there'll be other options,
such as suspending
her hormone treatment
to give puberty
a few months' development,
although there's
doubt over it restarting
or producing functional sperm.
Or using the immature testicles
to mature them in vitro.
That implies discussing the timeframe.
Sure, there are other ways
to be a parent,
but if the aim is to preserve a chance
of being a biological parent,
you need to be aware of options early.
I see.
An absolute pain.
For her, not for me.
She's going to suffer.
Think teenagers, think first love,
think about...
all that's lying in wait for her.
Insults, threats, getting beat up.
It's all coming her way.
All of it.
Like when you have
a kid who's disabled,
and you think, "Whoa,
they won't be able to do this or that.
They can't live like everybody else."
Obviously, as a parent,
the first thing
that occurs to you is...
What can I do...
so my child suffers
as little as possible.
Swimwear is all up top.
Take a look, see what you find.
Thanks.
You want to try on a swimsuit?
Sure, but with something else.
With a dress over it to walk around.
A little skirt.
It's beautiful.
And a top with it.
No, I don't really like it.
You're picky, not a girl for nothing.
Find a top to try with it.
We'll ask if she has
one with butterflies.
It's kinda strange.
Turn around.
What's strange?
The swimsuit.
One like that.
Usually it's one-piece.
Try the skirt over it, so we can see.
There's so many seashells!
Did you enjoy your day, kids?
Watch out.
Ready?
Let me off!
I'm so tall.
Look, your eyes.
Look at your hair.
An egghead, a real egghead.
At some point, Sasha will be attacked.
For being different.
All these people who'll spit on Sasha
or try to hurt her,
they're in her future.
They'll crop up at some point.
Her personality will help her
but it won't protect her.
I told her, it's her battle and mine.
The battle of my life.
Sweets...
Morning, beautiful.
How are you?
First day back at school!
Eric!
What a charming sight!
You are so beautiful.
Come along, you must be starving.
Take a seat.
There we are, just here.
Perfect.
Not feeling so shy now?
Look at his paws.
I felt like I got no sleep.
Not at all.
This morning, I woke up, like,
how long have I been awake?
It felt like since yesterday.
Seriously, it's weird.
But I don't feel tired.
Thanks, your jacket's right there.
It's gonna be fine.
I hope.
Sasha can't wait
to be able to go to school
and live normally dressed as a girl.
You see?
For her, it's just human.
It's a no-brainer.
But she senses there are barriers.
Barriers with regard to her teachers...
The teacher she had...
The teacher she had last year.
Barriers with regard to the principal,
who is...
Without going into detail,
his attitude is holier-than-thou,
no pun intended.
There's a sense of...
No problem, but don't make waves.
Don't let the news get out because...
Sasha isn't in a freak show but,
it mustn't upset his system.
If the hotshot education professionals
had come out here in June
when Dr. Bargiacchi came,
things would be clear
for the school year.
We're going nowhere.
It's still all talk and no action.
All along,
they have ruined everything.
If it's like last time,
we stand up and walk out.
We move forward without them.
We don't let the principal
preach at us again.
Try not to be too aggressive.
I won't, but he needs to understand
he can't string us along.
Either he accepts her or not, period.
There's no point yapping
on and on for years.
You know where we went, Sasha,
this morning, Dad and I?
School.
Your school.
The child psychiatrist,
Anne Bargiacchi,
was on the phone.
I didn't see her.
She joined the meeting by phone.
She couldn't be there.
So we talked with lots of people.
Just a second.
That's why our teacher wasn't there.
That's right.
It went on a long time.
Yes.
Because of us.
So...
From now on...
For school, you're a little girl.
What you wear is up to you.
School sees no problem
with you coming
dressed any way you like.
It's cool.
There you go.
And for all the rest, swimming,
class trips and so on, no problem.
Some children might wonder
why you're dressed as a girl.
What will you tell them?
I'm a girl.
That's right. Exactly.
I'll say I'm a boy.
See, we're getting there.
Thanks.
The jacket now?
I'll take a photo afterward.
As tight as we can.
Beauty is pain, they say.
- Hello, Doctor.
- Hi, Sasha.
- How are you?
- Very well, thanks. Go on in.
How does it feel,
going to school in a skirt?
It's cool.
Great.
It's made you happy.
And for your boy and girl friends,
seeing you in a skirt?
My girl friend...
she doesn't care.
She already saw me like that.
The other one didn't say anything.
Perhaps because they found it normal?
The others, they don't care.
So nobody asked strange questions?
Good, that's nice.
Is there anything you want to discuss?
Any thoughts of,
"I'd like to discuss that
with Dr. Bargiacchi"?
Yes, but I don't want to say it.
I see.
Because the time's not right?
Or you want us to talk alone later?
No.
You told Mom or Dad,
what you wanted us to discuss?
Ballet?
Can I ask them?
The Conservatory?
What happened exactly
at the Conservatory?
You'll tell me?
Mom? Dad?
Not me.
I was there, so...
I took Sasha to her...
Her ballet class.
It was the second one this year.
At the first, I explained
to the new ballet teacher...
all about Sasha.
She didn't take it very... very well.
Never mind.
At the second, she says,
I talked to my managers, and so on.
Basically, Sasha can't come as a girl.
I said to her,
"Why?"
Anyway, that was that.
She's Russian and said,
"In Russia, they don't have this."
Basically, she didn't understand.
She literally pushed Sasha out.
Sasha started crying.
Everybody was there.
The teacher said all this to me
in front of the parents,
kids, and so on.
She pushed Sasha out of the room,
so Sasha was crying.
In pain, quite clearly.
And she closed the door on Sasha,
with a little smile.
It was exceptionally violent
because it was
so mean and humiliating,
in front of everybody,
without giving us a chance.
I feel like I hugely disappointed Sasha.
She expected...
I don't think she was expecting...
She felt I let her down, I think.
What more could Mommy have done?
It's important to give yourself time.
Especially with people
who don't understand or say things
that are reprehensible, transphobic...
Most likely,
she couldn't do much. Sadly.
What do you think, looking back on it?
Nothing.
Looking at your face, I sense sadness.
Anything else?
You're upset maybe?
Or angry?
You have the right to be angry.
I'm angry.
Are you angry, too?
Both.
Both.
Sad and angry?
It's unacceptable, to act like that.
It's worth not letting it go unpunished.
Sasha told me something after ballet,
when she was crying in her room...
She said,
I wonder if there's any point fighting.
That really...
Do you remember saying that?
You were crying and said,
I wonder if there's any point fighting.
I was really...
You don't remember?
When you were crying, you said that.
There is a point.
That was when I was...
five, four maybe.
Five, four or three.
Three, four or five.
See, I've changed.
I was still in the stroller.
I am convinced we all have
a role to play... in life.
At a given age, a given time...
I'm convinced we all have
a mission or something to accomplish.
I think Sasha...
Sasha is here...
perhaps to help change
people's attitudes.
And I'm here to help her.
There you go.
Perhaps.
Thanks to Sasha and all her family