Lolo (2015) Movie Script
~ Lolo (2015) ~
(For French spoken releases.)
[Including song lyrics and few annotations]
Music to Watch Girls By
Andy Williams
The boys watch the girls
while the girls watch the boys
who watch the girls go by.
Eye to eye,
they solemnly convene
to make the scene.
Which is the name of the game,
watch a guy watch a dame
on any street in town.
"What's that sound?"
each time you hear a loud
collective sigh.
They're making music
to watch girls by.
Guys talk "girl talk",
it happens everywhere.
Eyes watch girls walk
with tender lovin' care.
It's keepin' track of the pack
watching them watching back.
That makes the world go 'round.
Eye to eye,
they solemnly convene
to make the scene.
La, la, la, la...
[... attenuated song]
[effects "head under water"]
- It's seawater.
- You think?
- It's warm, at least.
- Yes.
What's in the pool?
Fucus.
[A brown algae]
Remove the fat, firms the muscles.
Ideal for what we have.
- What do we have?
- 45 years of ages.
Ar...
It's like germ soup.
Think how many people peed in here today.
You're nuts!
Nobody pees in here.
What's with the spurt of water
up my pussy? It sucks.
It's meant to do that.
I don't like it.
It's great.
A pussy massage, so relaxing.
- When did you last get laid?
- Give me a break.
I have other priorities besides men.
You're just obsessed.
Not a bit.
I'm a much deeper person.
- I don't have to tell you everything.
- Yeah?
Seriously, add up all the nights
you had a man in your bed,
it won't total to one year
since Lolo's dad bailed.
Don't exaggerate.
There've been other men.
Hardly.
You're right, it's not normal.
It only I could find a guy
to share magic moments with.
"Magic moments"?
Excuse me while I shoot myself.
Enough of being groped by water!
Two weeks at a spa
and I haven't lost a kilo.
Pisses me off.
Hold on,
I gotta take a piss.
Gross!
Damn weather!
It's done being sunny, it rains.
The whole region's getting me down.
That's the country side for you.
Talk something else.
Oh!
What's the commotion there?
Aw. A child drowned!
You're a mess, my dear.
Seriously! I can't look!
No, it's a tuna!
One heck of a tuna.
It's Grard and Jean-Ren.
You know them?
Grard was married to Nicole.
Jean-Ren is Sabine's father.
She was at school with Clmentine.
- He's divorced too.
- Fascinating.
Hey, boys!
"Hey, boys"?
- They're coming over!
- Obviously.
- What a beauty!
- Check it out.
- Okay?
- And you?
I'm Ariane, her sister.
- From Paris?
- Exactly.
Her friend, Violette.
I'm so sorry.
You moron! My overalls!
It slipped.
I'll buy you a new one.
Forget it.
I have to go get changed now.
Sorry for the "moron".
It slipped out.
Heard the one about the blind guy
passing a fish market?
"Hey, girls!"
Subtle, very classy.
He's sorry.
It was funny.
We can use a laugh.
Are you going to eat all that
by yourself?
We'll make a evening of it.
You want to come?
No thanks.
It's full of mercury.
Omega-3? Count us in!
9 pm at Jean-Ren's?
You know the place?
Yes.
See you tonight.
Yes.
They're both single.
God-sent for you.
I can't stand guys
ruining my clothes.
Is it often?
One guy washed my
cashmere on hot.
I dumped him
after the 6th sweater.
It's time you get a cat.
Why?
Get a taste of what
your life will be.
You should bang Jean-Ren.
Are you kidding me?
Lower your standards.
I get Grard, the moron.
Granny always said:
"Boneheads bone better."
Jean-Ren's sweet
but most likely a bad lay.
How come?
His ex-wife Monique was his first.
Oh, practically a virgin.
What a bummer!
But at least clean.
Perfect for you.
Make the most of the vacation,
get your chimney swept.
The sweep's leaving.
Bye!
See you later!
Hello!
The red's a little...
It's happy.
I find red better for
younger ladies.
After 40, a pattern's better.
Hides the muffin top, too.
- The muffin top?
- Just there.
Do you mind!
After 40, it happens.
Nothing personal, it's hormonal.
Men don't like muffin tops.
You think a muffin top or two
will repel a man who loves you?
Research in Germany shows...
I saw a documentary about it.
Men are sick of bimbos.
They want chicks with a job,
opinions and muffin tops even.
The Merkel effect.
Now choose one and let's go.
That's much better.
Okay, I'll try it.
Shit!
My maid has the
exact same dress.
It's just fine.
Some liberal, ashamed of
her proletarian wardrobe.
My cleaner is 65.
Ah, you exploit a
little old lady?
Oh damn...
Wow, everything is there.
Hanging lights, water-resistant
tablecloth and sangria!
- Depressing. Let's bail.
- Drink!
So where's your Bourvil?
No sign of him.
Maybe we're too late and he's found
that special someone already.
Find him fast,
it's your last chance.
After this is Paris, work, and
spending the evenings with BFM.
[Brickell Fashion Market]
- Yes.
I don't see him anywhere.
Oh!
Total hick! Wearing socks
with sandals. Extremely ugly.
He's off the scale,
like deliberately repulsive.
Don't care, here goes...
Remember Granny.
"Bumpkins bone better."
Boneheads!
I decline all responsible.
- Good evening, Ariane.
- Good evening, Grard.
- I was just talking about you.
- I am delighted.
- Ah!
- Violette! Is that right?
- Yes.
- Can I have one?
- Sure.
Really sorry for this afternoon.
Nobody ever pulled the
tuna trick on me.
The tuna trick?
As a pick-up stunt.
It never fails.
But I know I'm not your type.
What's my type?
You're Ariane's girlfriend,
right?
Absolutely.
Of course!
Any wedding plans,
now the law's passed?
No, no, no.
We're anti-marriage.
We're reactionary lesbians,
a super rare species.
- Huh.
- Yeah.
What about you?
Married?
Me? Married 20 years,
divorced twice.
I've dated, but never got
that special feeling.
They used to call it love.
On you,
that dress is ravishing.
You think so?
I wasn't sure.
I'm sure.
Fits your figure.
- My figure?
- Would you pass me a tuna?
- Sorry.
- Thank you.
I'm playing with you.
We're totally straight.
Ariadne, and me,
we're straight.
- I'm sorry. Grard said...
- No problem.
I've considered switching teams.
Hasn't everybody?
No, not me, not everybody.
Homosexuals are all really nice
but...
No, not all really nice.
I'm just saying,
it's a free country.
I'm not judging anyone.
It's just not for me.
OK.
I heard you're moving to Paris?
Yes.
I found a wonderful place.
Ah yes!
In the Beaugrenelle district.
A modern building.
View of the Eiffel Tower.
- Beaugrenelle?
- Yes. the apartments.
Whoa!
What do you do?
I'm in IT,
specialize in finance.
What's your field?
Fashion. I am an Art Director.
Runway shows, events...
My daughter Sabine,
she's just like you.
Really?
She wanted to get into
something creative
but in the end,
she's doing international
business in London.
Do you have children?
A little boy, Eloi. Adorable.
Eloi? Nice name.
Better get that.
Could be important.
Excuse me.
Hello darling.
Yes of course.
Is she biting?
Miracles happen?
Are you crazy?
We're just talking.
Why'd you say she's a lesbian?
It was a joke.
- Did you ask her?
- Nah...
You knucklehead.
She likes you anyway.
No, she speaks English and all...
Take it from me.
I know.
Look, she's checking you out.
Yeah, she's looking at me.
Don't laugh.
Go on.
- I'll take her tuna over.
- Go for it.
I knew I should never
listen to Granny.
Actually, I like this weather.
And the spa is working wonders.
You're in a good mood!
Bought the red dress, not whining.
- Was it really that good?
- What?
I wasn't born yesterday.
It was great.
Your were right.
Just what I needed.
When are you seeing him again?
It was just a fun night.
I don't plan on doing it again.
We're going back to Paris next week.
I told him, one night only.
Or two.
I won't be seeing
anybody else for 3 weeks.
Who knows?
All those models.
Don't worry about the models.
Your train is about to depart,
be careful of closing doors.
Call me.
Kisses!
What did you do?
I thought he'd burst into tears.
Nothing special.
Here've you been all week?
You disappeared from the spa.
He went down on me.
For a whole week?
Yep. Even during my period.
Ah!
Not on the first day.
At the end, barely any blood.
Ah! That's alright then.
It was a heavenly week.
Too good to be true.
I bet he has cancer
and didn't tell me.
He couldn't.
Got cancer.
Wanted you to know.
Cancer.
I've got cancer, I'm dying.
Seriously, he is so sweet,
borderline naive.
Borderline dumb?
No.
Naive doesn't mean dumb.
I'm sick of smart-ass Parisian guys,
messing with my head.
I even think he could
get along with Eloi.
- He's in IT.
- Ah!
He's so proud of his
apartment in Beaugrenelle.
Beaugrenelle sucks!
He's a genuine romantic,
I think.
I 'd hate to hurt him.
Hurt his tongue?
- You'd regret it.
- Yeah!
Him?
It's my Lolo!
My Alpine pussycat!
Yes, we're on the train.
Madam, didn't you see the sign?
No phones.
Ma'am, she's talking to her son.
He's quadriplegic.
I left you a message.
A fling, a great guy from Biarritz.
You could've called me!
I was so worried after the paragliding.
Paragliding?
You haven't seen "The Intouchables"?
Quadriplegics love paragliding.
They're allowed to have fun too.
Okay, I'll tell her
you send your love.
- All good?
- All good. Very good.
No calls in 3 weeks, must be
going well with his girlfriend.
Annabelle only calls to complain.
"I'm so depressed.
I'm not eating, I'm anorexic."
"Don't blame him, it's you..."
It's what we are here for.
I guess.
Pain in the ass being a mother.
Small Talk
Claudine Longet & Tommy LiPuma
Sunday best and dressed
to kill the afternoon.
You know how draggy
afternoons can be sometimes,
you're lucky you find
someone to talk with you.
Small talk.
It's been nice talking to you,
walking with you... too.
Ba, ba, ba,...
In 2 weeks, the commercial shoot
in Greece will be hell.
Sick of sea and sun!
The agency insists on
shooting on an island.
Greek islands!
Are you listening?
Sorry, I was miles away.
That's true, he's on his way.
You're picking him up?
He's driving. I'll let him settle in
and see him this weekend.
You can hold out 3 days?
Come on. I'm not an animal.
I'd to impose.
You're not exhausted
from the drive?
I am beat.
This way.
I can't see anything.
Don't worry, that way.
Oh fuck!
Arr!
- What the...
- Damn!
Lolo,
what you doing in my bed?
You took the TV
from my room.
I watched it here last night
before falling asleep.
Audrey flipped on me,
so I thought I'd stay here.
If it's a problem, I'll leave.
No, no. Stay, I...
This is Jean.
Eloi, my son.
Call him Lolo.
Good evening, Eloi.
Jean-Ren.
Nice to meet you.
- Jean-Ren?
- Yes.
Pleasure.
Did I hurt you?
No, nothing major.
Are you sure?
Goodnight.
By the way, I couldn't find
the weed in Easy Rider.
Try The Bird DVD.
I put it in there.
It's no problem if I stay?
No, his room's down the hall.
You call him
"my little boy".
I wasn't expecting
a young man.
He's still my little boy.
You know,
you think they're always 5.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm worried, though.
That sad expression, swollen eyes...
I don't know,
I never met him before.
What's up with the weed?
He only smokes a little,
for his migraines. You're shocked?
No, been there, done that.
I smoked pot in high school.
Now, where were we?
Pst! It's free.
Ah! Thank you.
Sorry about last night.
I completely forgot her
text about you arriving.
Falling on top of you is hardly
a formal introduction.
Don't worry, I'm used to it.
Ah.
Gotta get back at it.
Oh...
Running out on me?
No, I'd have woken you first.
I have stuff to do at home
before I go to work.
See you soon.
Tonight, no?
Yes, tonight.
It will be less hectic.
I hope it will be
a little hectic.
Where's my kiss?
Why didn't you call to say
you would be here last night?
It was crazy with Audrey.
She was hysterical.
- I didn't think of it.
- What happened?
No, I don't need
your motherly advice.
You just want juicy details.
OK, my Alpine bunny.
Mum, Alpine bunny?
I'm 20 years old.
19!
So, what do you think of him?
Who?
Jean.
Jean-Ren?
Cut it out.
C'mon, what do you think?
Well...
He's from Biarritz.
You'll really like him.
He's a total sweetheart.
He seems nice,
for sure.
A nice hick?
Are you blind?
He is hideous!
It's cool,
you're not gonna to have kids.
That would be a total disaster.
He's not ugly.
He just has no dress sense.
I only saw him for 2 seconds.
His ears remind me
of my favorite cartoon as a kid.
- What?
- Dumbo!
Don't be so mean.
Kids today are obsessed with
looks and superficial stuff.
Just keep him
out of the spotlight.
I really like him.
Just pulling your leg.
What does he do?
Develops financial software.
Cutting edge.
Cool.
He loaded?
I don't know.
If he didn't kill himself in 2008,
he couldn't have lost everything.
You still eat that crap?
Keeps me from smoking.
That's good for your asthma,
but not now.
My little Lolo!
What's wrong?
I think he cracked
a rib last night.
Damn.
It's okay. Are we going to
the McCoy party tonight?
Oh man, I was to see Jean.
I totally forgot.
You could see him later.
Or I could take him?
Seriously, mother dear.
Your Biarritz boy at McCoy's?
Eat you eggs and toast.
Move, asshole!
Ergonomic design,
eco-friendly,
wifi-connected,
multi-purpose printers...
That's right, the
France Rural Credit's Dream Complex
provides a state of the art workplace.
Numerous convivial collaborative spaces,
access for persons
with reduced mobility,
and complete wifi coverage.
The complex also offers a bank,
boutiques,
concierge service,
Machines serving hot and cold
chocolate on every floor
of France Rural Credit's Dream Complex.
Ah, it's fine,
but it's hell getting here.
Ah, you're new in town.
People here
don't drive their cars.
The traffic here's crazy.
Meanwhile, we're based here.
It's temporary, but they spoiled us
with all this space.
As always, inseparable!
- How are you, darling?
- Very good, and you?
It's been forever.
You look amazing!
- I feel great...
- You got my book?
No, I did a
"total digital detox".
I'm changing my style.
Yes, it's breathtaking.
Take a look before the price rockets.
I can't wait, darling.
Hi Steven!
- Hello?
- Yes, Violet?
- Can't hear you.
- Hello?
Will I still see you tonight?
Yes, yes, yes...
I'll have to find somewhere quiet
and call you back. Hello?
See you soon.
- Where are you going?
- Just calling...
Steinberg's here.
He has a mega-gallery in London.
You can introduce me.
Yes, but be quick.
- This is my son, Eloi.
- Hello.
- He's an amazing artist.
- Yes, I am.
It's me, Jean.
Sorry, I couldn't call you,
I was tied up here.
I'm heading home now,
so, call me.
Okay? Love you.
Jean, it's me.
I'm going to bed now,
but call me anytime.
"Everything OK? Get in touch.
I was stuck at the party."
"Johnny, my love?"
"Either you're mad at me
or in an accident.
There's no other explanation."
"I'm worried sick."
"You let the gas?
You're suffocating?"
"Jean, I love you
don't leave me."
You with a hooker?
"I'm hyperventilating.
I'm dying."
"If you don't want to see me,
I want to know now."
"Call me, or I'm going to
call an ambulance."
"I'm going crazy.
Are you dead?"
Jamy, the mirage,
it is not a hallucination.
It is a very real phenomenon.
Evidence that...
Ah!
Hello how are you?
You did?
I sent loads of texts,
I was so worried.
You're not mad at me?
Of course I'm bot mad at you.
I fell asleep on my phone.
That's a relief.
I'm cooking dinner tonight.
You want to come?
You bet. Okay,
see you at 8 tonight.
- 8's perfect. Kisses.
- Same here.
Sleep well, honey bun?
Yeah, fine.
You moved the TV?
Yeah.
Since it's not working out
with Audrey, so I thought...
Oh my.
You don't mind me staying?
No, of course not.
Thanks, mommy dear.
I'm cooking for Jean tonight.
- Free to join us?
- Who?
Jean-Ren.
J.R. Yeah!
Sure, I'm free as a bird.
You'll get to know him.
It's no hassle?
You must be joking.
- Anytime
- Great.
Don't bombard your boyfriend
with paranoid texts.
It scares guys off.
Trust my experience.
No, it's cool.
Hey sir,
your ticket!
Lemon chicken.
Your biggest hit.
You think he'll like it?
He'll love it.
First time around.
After 100 times,
it's kinda old.
Your super-wife act
never fools them for long.
Frozen meals will win out.
You're exaggerating!
I make boiled eggs too.
And salads.
It's never too late to learn.
My life's at a crossroads.
At 40 years old,
I'm maturing and moving on.
45 in 2 months.
If maturity for a chick today
means cooking for her man,
thank god for the feminists.
You don't understand at your age.
I do understand.
I'm just kidding.
Frozen meals are like
second mother to me.
Right, get up.
Promise you'll be nice to him.
Very chic!
I didn't want to look like a mess
for the official introduction.
Classy!
Go sit in the living room.
What can I get you?
- I don't know. Same as you.
- A beer!
So, Paris...
Like it?
Yes. I'd visited before,
but living here is something else.
Waking up...
Thank you.
Falling asleep and waking up with the
Eiffel Tower at the window is incredible.
Amazing...
What are all these paintings
against the wall?
My son's a very talented artist.
You painted that?
It's my new concept.
Auto-bio-graphic.
Do you like them?
A lot...
No thanks.
Yes...
I like the...
The bird in the sky.
Magnificent.
That's a smudge.
I see.
I have to admit,
my son's the future of humanity.
You're in finance?
Technically, no.
I sold software to Rural Credit.
A revolutionary,
high-frequency trading program
that processes transactions
faster than the competition.
Just a few microseconds but that
gives a huge strategic advantage.
Fascinating.
Two years ago,
I went into a "lifeless" mode
to perfect it.
It was for a financial organization
in Bordeaux.
It generated so much buzz,
I scaled it up for France Rural Credit.
How does the software work?
It's simple.
I took the code of an old
open source program,
Optimized it with some
custom-built addons...
Adaptable?
Before adapting it
and bringing it online,
the analysts and IT guys
itemize and document
every feature required.
Then it gets interesting.
If the deployment goes well...
Where's it at?
Can't say. Contractually.
Top secret.
Are you interested.
I love finance.
System security requires focus.
I developed bricks that
adapt to customer's needs
using plug-ins...
It's fascinating
but I have to leave you lovebirds.
Lulu's waiting for me.
- See you.
- See you.
Lolo...
- You okay?
- Yeah.
What's wrong?
It's my rib.
Still?
Go see Dr. Guillaume tomorrow.
I'll be okay.
Dinner went well.
Yeah.
I confess,
I was pretty bored.
Really?
Get used to it,
it's his job.
- Yeah.
- I think he's cool.
- You guys have fun.
- Yeah you too.
Totally lame,
they guy she picked up.
With a name like Jean-Ren,
I won't even shake his hand.
- Gets a D, the guy.
- D?
Yeah, scores a D.
Lowest there is. Douchebag.
A's don't exist.
B's super rare.
My old man.
The rest are C's
and mostly D's.
Absolute nerd.
Fuck, he's creepy.
No style.
D's too good for him.
- He's a geek like you.
- No, no, no...
He's an IT engineer, not a geek,
Subtle difference.
How does my mom do it?
I guess, at her age,
you're not picky.
Single guys are assholes.
The rest are used goods,
bled dry by their ex'es.
The timing stinks.
You get dumped and your old lady
is playing the newlywed.
It's great timing.
Parties, models,
fashion shows...
My ma's schedule is
mine in Fashion Week.
As if models
would look at you.
Totally. Take a good look.
I'm your buddy, not your twin.
But your ma's gonna take
her new man to all the parties.
No sweat.
It's all under control.
You ever heard
the expression GBW?
Gone Before Winter.
This guy's GBF.
Gone Before Fall.
Trust me, 1 week.
- Any preference?
- You choose.
- How about a comedy?
- I love comedies.
- Let's see, I have...
- Yeah?
- Blazing Saddles?
- Blazing Saddles? Is that a western?
A Mel Brooks comedy.
You'll love it.
My Lolo.
Go to sleep.
Eloi, on the tit again.
Greedy glutton!
Beddy-byes!
Up!
Oh!
Don't cry, pumpkin.
Cool, helping mom
fix up her place.
Paintings look better
on the wall.
What are you doing?
Holding the screws.
The picture.
Don't forget the picture.
You're saying I'm a klutzy?
No, sweetheart.
Here...
"where buy polonium on the darknet"
- This way a bit.
- No, we're good.
- Perfect!
- Just perfect!
Ah, that's great!
See, Lolo?
Your first art work.
Isn't it beautiful?
It's pretty.
- Another?
- That one.
- Okay.
- Let's go.
What a beautiful day.
But this is white.
Yes, but the designer said
"As white as possible."
Can you whiter?
She looks gray.
No. This is Kabuki.
This is white, white, white!
Okay, just do something.
Gah! This is a disaster.
We have a
color harmony issue.
- We open in 45 minutes.
- Change the gels.
We have 15 minutes
to make it work.
15 minutes!
Okay.
There you go.
Thanks.
Still seeing "Thingamajig"?
All the time.
Jeez, for a one-night stand,
he's tenacious.
Yeah, turns out
we're a great fit.
No shit. A clitoral
with an eager licker.
You're vaginal,
subtlety's beyond you.
You mean, I don't wait years
for a do-gooder to hit the spot.
Speaking of vaginal, I am flying
to Greece tomorrow for the shoot.
I can't come to
your charity gala.
- Damn!
- Your man's going?
Yes. Lolo's helping him
to find an outfit.
- Lolo helping him?
- Yes.
They are buddies.
They keep yapping about computers.
They love it.
- That's mine?
- No.
- It is.
- No.
Stop hoarding my food.
Uh, you are so bitchy.
Awesome,
the Eiffel Tower.
- It's a partial view
but better than nothing.
Your daughter?
Pretty.
- Sabine. She's your age.
- Really?
Look.
You got anything else?
I'm not sure if I want
to go to the party.
It's not my place, I know no one,
I'll feel out of place.
Stop, J.R.
You know me.
That would be enough.
She invited you,
that's important for her.
- You think?
- Of course.
I am delighted that
you two are together.
It's a weight off my shoulders.
The last few years have been tough,
with guys bailing on her.
For a woman her age,
it's not easy.
I'm counting on you.
You can.
The beige jacket
in the hall's not bad.
I'll go get it.
Here. Look...
- No?
- No.
Want to go shopping?
Why not?
Great idea.
You crazy!
It's in the future.
From Dr. Frankenstein,
he saw a man without passion.
He explained that the human race
was sentenced,
that space was closed to him.
That the only link...
What are you looking at?
They have wifi-enabled
security cameras in every corner.
They must have a multi-petabyte
array to store months of footage.
Amazing for a museum.
State-of-the-art.
This is the Pompidou Center,
not the Brittany Naval Museum.
Sorry.
You haven't stopped scratching
since we got here.
Are you allergic to art?
No, it started in the subway.
Let me see.
Oh!
You're red all over!
Is... is...
Is it eczema?
I never had it before.
It itches all over.
Ar!
I'll call someone who's
an expert on skin diseases.
I'll be right back.
Skin disease?
The shock was too strong.
After viewing...
It's me.
Is this a bad time?
You who know anything
about venereal disease?
Of course,
that's my speciality.
Can I call you back?
I'm busy.
No, no.
It's urgent.
Jean has rashes
all over his body.
It's food.
Even the willy?
Ar!
You said he was clean.
You think it's AIDS?
Don't start that again.
You've been doing that for 25 years.
You are not asking if you can
catch AIDS giving a blow-job!
Blow-jobs?
Look, keep calm.
I'm 100% sure
it's not that.
- What then?
- I don't know.
Don't rub up against
him tonight.
Love you. Kisses!
Everything alright?
Yes.
My best friend.
She is a hypochondriac,
you know?
It's a Greek word.
Oh my God!
Everything is Greek!
But your smile.
Your smile is so French.
Ah, the Greeks!
Interesting.
A film-essay, is that right?
Yes.
You should see a doctor tomorrow.
I know one who is a friend.
Maybe it's a virus.
I'm also feeding kind of... crappy.
- Maybe it's contagious.
- What?
The virus is making me itchy.
If it's even a virus.
I feel terrible.
I need to go to bed early.
Do you mind if I sleep alone?
I feel bloated.
We haven't even had dinner.
Forget it.
I'm not feeling well.
Thank you.
I try to share fairly,
but there are so many.
You think I'm silly?
No, it's just that
I don't see them anymore.
Well,
enjoy your evening.
- Huh, okay.
- Yeah.
- See you tomorrow.
- See you tomorrow.
- Call me.
- Yes.
Beautiful.
Alright?
I'm itching all over.
Jean too.
Really?
You're not a kid,
you use protection?
The south-west is famous
for its swinger clubs.
- Really?
- Of course!
South-west...
Foie gras [French delicacy "fatty livers"]
rugby...
Swingers clubs!
"Clubs swingers Biarritz"
The Foie Gras Swingers?!
Oh!
Nothing out of the ordinary.
You've been to the countryside?
No.
But are you a country boy?
No, I'm from Biarritz.
There you go.
It's the change of environment.
From the fresh air
to the smog of Paris.
You can't handle the pollution.
Or it could be the dust
in your apartment.
Where do you live?
Beaugrenelle Towers.
They built with anything back then.
Wash all your clothes
and your apartment thoroughly.
Violette doesn't need to worry.
She asked me to
prescribe a few tests.
A few tests?
The lab around the corner
is expecting you.
Urethral swab,
HIV 1, HIV 2,
gonorrhea,
herpes simplex 1 and 2,
hepatitis B - C,
chlamydia, trichomoniasis,
syphilis and chancroid.
No, are you kidding?
Ah! And HPV! It's new.
[Human Papillomavirus Infection]
It's new?
The famous
oral sex cancer.
You know, Michael Douglas?
He's an actor.
Ah.
40 grands, not possible.
So, we lose the chandeliers?
Definitely not.
I'll come up with something.
How's my pumpkin?
I forgot my mobile and the keys.
I locked myself out.
- Can I take yours?
- Of course, sure.
I don't like it when I
can't get hold of you.
Lulu, okay?
- You've lost weight.
- Thanks.
Basketball.
I'm his fitness trainer.
I screwed up
with Jean-Ren.
Again?
My disease phobia.
Not the tests again?
Mommy dear,
you need to make it up.
Go get him
a big ass lunch.
Good idea.
Come on.
I do not even know
where he works.
Go!
Pass, pass!
No.
- Pass!
- Attack, attack!
Timeout.
You have your phone with you?
You told your mom you didn't.
It's a trick... to get her
keys away from her,
so tonight she'll have
to sleep at his place.
I'm sick of them
groaning all night.
I'm totally open-minded
but I can't take any more.
A stranger in my own home.
Damn, you're right,
the guy's way out of line.
Yeah.
She'll see where he works
and will get panic.
Hey, she wouldn't
want to fuck him!
He's laughing.
Well done!
I would have been quicker on foot.
Thanks for the excursion!
Right.
All the way down,
turn right on the end.
Thank you.
Thanks.
I did all your tests.
You forgot to ask for Ebola.
That's not an STD.
- Next.
- Dish of the day.
It was tough with
Eloi's dad cheated on me
and all these guys sleeping around
- It is hard to trust again.
- Thank you.
- Madam?
- Green beans.
Violette, I was with my wife
for 20 years, and...
- And the swingers clubs?
- The what?
Nothing.
Thank you.
- Since then?
- Since then, nothing much.
- I apologize for the tests.
- It was nothing.
A quick blood sample and
a cotton swab in the urethra.
That must have hurt.
Horrible.
I'm so sorry.
You're a bit lunatic,
but I like being with you.
Yo do?
I almost died
a few years ago.
Really?
Not a contagious disease.
- An accident.
- Oh.
Auh, an accident?
What happened?
I don't talk about it,
but it gave me new perspective.
So dating me is
better than having a coma?
Yeah...
I have to think it over.
And "nothing much" for years
was with or without condoms?
I am joking.
I hope so.
Without condoms,
obviously.
No, no, no!
Les Miz!
You mean Les Misrables?
- Yes.
You know your
French literature.
Victor Hugo is so up there.
What?
Damn it! She picked up
the spare key at Paulette's.
Is everything okay?
No, there is a problem.
We can't go to my place tonight.
Where are you staying?
At a small hotel in the 15th.
After the sauce,
buy a good chicken.
The important part is
the texture, the firmness.
Here, it should be firm.
It talks to me, it has
a personal vibration.
There's a bond,
a connection to the animal,
Even though I'm alive
and it's passed on.
Don't feel intimidated.
It's only a chicken.
You toss it whole
into the pot.
Meanwhile, you can
cut up the vegetables
to prepare
the basque side dish.
Coming!
Violets?
Isn't that sweet!
That smells so good.
I am making Basque chicken.
I thought it would please you
after a day of work.
I'm not a real Basque
but it's my favorite.
If yours is as good as Jojo's
in St-Jean-de-Luz, I'll marry you.
Someone there?
No, it's the iPad app.
Beigbeder's South-West Cuisine.
You're posh.
- You don't like that?
- I love it!
Stuff it with your red bell pepper
that you already stuffed
with one large onion.
Hey, buddy. I can't
talk right now.
I'm at a gala for the homeless
with stars everywhere.
Damn, it's you-know-who.
What's his name?
No, no, no...
It's not him after all.
Lots of pretty girls.
Guess what?
It's in the subway station.
I gotta go.
Lolo's here.
Lolo! Lolo!
Bah, Lolo!
Hou!
I like you to meet Karl.
Jean, my boyfriend.
- Delighted to meet you.
- It's mutual.
- I deeply admire your work.
- Too kind.
I follow all your collections.
They're simply darling.
Daring? Darling?
- Both, hopefully!
- Yes!
Jean just moved to Paris.
Karl, truly,
thank you for coming.
The pleasure's all mine.
Who wouldn't come for you?
Bravo for your N5.
Smells great.
- It was there before me.
- Yes!
It wouldn't have been famous
worldwide without you.
And without
Marilyn Monroe.
Well, Jean...
Karl has other people to talk to.
Sorry, we have a problem.
- Can't it wait?
- No, it's an emergency.
I'll be fine on my own
for 5 minutes.
Did I come off
too uptight with Karl?
Uptight, no.
Look, you were fine.
Go get a drink.
I'll be right back.
- It can't wait 5 minutes?
- No.
Did you pick
that stupid jacket for him?
He chose it himself.
Look after him
while I attend to something.
- So J.R. How are you?
- Lolo!
I waved earlier.
You didn't see me.
Cheers!
To health!
See? Not so scary.
Your mom introduced
me to Karl Lagerfeld.
- Karlito.
- I talked to him.
Really?
Go get a selfie with him.
You think?
Your daughter
will be so impressed.
No, no. I don't dare.
A drink will relax you.
Ha Francesca.
Gotta go.
Yes.
- Sir?
- Oh, why not?
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
Seriously, Violette,
who's that guy you're with?
Look...
I know, he's not very...
- Check this out.
- What?
But no!
- Enough.
- It's gorgeous!
He dick saved my life.
Where's the electrician?
I gotta get back.
They are beautiful.
I'll...
8,000 euros.
Bid accepted.
They're a present
for Violette.
Violette!
Baby!
Sorry. Oh yeah,
that's better.
- It's for my daughter.
- Yes, that's what they all say.
Good evening.
I can't take anymore
I have to go. Where is he?
Thanks.
Hold on,
it's blurred, it's blurred.
Thank a lot, Karl!
- Gimme a hug.
- It's not possible.
Let's go.
Karl...
Karlito!
Jean, you're snoring.
I have a big day tomorrow.
Roll onto the side.
Onto your side.
Oh!
Damn.
Oh!
Excuse me.
- Yes?
- Bad time?
- Well...
I'm not cut out
for relationships.
Jean-Ren is
drunk, snoring.
One of your
magic moments?
I can't sleep.
I tried masturbating,
but I can't focus.
Ah!
Arr...
I think he just puked.
He's puking, you're masturbate.
That's a great rock 'n' roll.
Gotta go.
Ariane!
Bitch.
Violette?
J.R.?
Ha, ha,...
Great start to the weekend.
Want an aspirin?
I am fine.
No more champagne again.
Pretty beach.
Where is it?
It's a shoulder.
Really?
I need a right elbow mold.
Got a moment?
A right elbow mold?
It's a surprise for mom,
for my new exhibit.
Don't tell her.
Will it take much longer?
Last one.
Leave it to dry and we're done.
- Damn.
- Jean?
- What's she doing home?
- Jean? Lolo?
- Hold still.
- What do I...
Sit still and don't say a word.
Okay?
Where is it?
Jean!
Lolo, you're here!
I forgot my notebook
with all my notes in it.
I sent you tons of texts
to ask you to bring it over.
I left it here.
Where it went? I need it.
Sorry, I was busy.
What a nightmare
last night.
- What?
- Jean-Ren!
He made a fool of himself,
he got drunk.
I spoke with
Karl's personal assistant,
I may not get
the next show.
You kidding?
I am furious.
How could I think he would fit in
just because he's nice with a big dick?
Truth is, he's a
Biarritz bumpkin.
Don't exaggerate.
He looked so lame
with his biker jacket,
like Jeanny Hallyday with
his damn cocker spaniel...
The Biarritz bumpkin
says screw you!
Couldn't you tell me
he was here?
- Now it's my fault?
- Jean!
I'm sorry!
You're sorry?
That makes everything okay.
What more
do you want me to say?
No, I'm just an idiot with
a big dick and crappy taste.
- Your son picked out the jacket.
- Keep Lolo out of it.
Of course!
Lolo the untouchable!
What am I?
The chump who waits up
while you party with your hipsters.
- I said you were nice.
- Ah yes!
And "big dick" is a compliment.
Sure, that's great! Who
do you think I am?
And who the hell are you?
A 45-year old
picking up hicks in Biarritz.
I didn't mean that. I know
you're mad, but don't insult me.
What?
"45-year old" is an insult?
I wasn't thinking straight,
I was upset!
I'm in a dumb-ass business
where looks are everything.
They're young, beautiful...
And your
fat ass "fits in"?
Jean.
Her precious notebook.
- Are you hurt?
- Oh, I'm.
Are you hurt?
Yes to literally and figuratively.
Mr. & Mrs. Brave.
The name's Brav with
the accent "".
Well, Mr. Brav.
It's still broken.
It wasn't broken before.
It is broken now?
A fracture of
the right radius.
- Shit.
- Damn.
You were in a cast,
your arm must
has been broken.
No, it wasn't broken.
I was posing for a work of art.
If we put it back in cast,
will you break it again?
It's performance art?
What are you saying?
What does he mean?
- What do you mean?
- It's like a happening!
Thanks for the soup.
I'm not sick. I broke my arm.
I'm okay now,
I'll be fine on my own.
Damn!
Here.
I already knew you are
not good with your left hand.
Go on.
- Ah!
- Stop it.
Don't be silly.
Jean,
it's so depressing here.
Not cheery, but practical.
And a view of the Eiffel Tower.
You got conned.
I know.
Listen...
I never asked anyone this, but
how about moving in with me?
For a while?
You love your
big-dick Biarritz Bumpkin.
And you,
your fat-assed Parisienne.
You left your phone off.
I was worried about you.
- Isn't this a bit early?
- I'm so glad you're back.
Come on in.
I'm in deep shit.
How come?
Why?
I totally messed up.
I asked Jean-Ren
to move in with me.
And?
He's moving in and
I'm freaking out.
Your life is absolutely thrilling.
- Want some coffee?
- No, no. It makes my heart race.
You're neurotic even when
your pussy's getting fed.
Superwoman at work
and goofball in real life.
You could be banging
25-year-old hunks.
Not cripples who stain your carpet
with yesterday's spaghetti.
Get a grip.
You're so right. I'm fed up.
I'm too fat to work in fashion.
Jean's moving in,
Lolo's going nowhere...
Kick him out.
- Who?
- Lolo!
- I can't do that.
- Are you kidding?
Like he gives a shit.
Same as my daughter and me.
They are autistic at that age.
Kick him out. He'll thank you later.
- You think?
All I've got is coffee.
- No green tea?
- No!
See you tomorrow
on the Cartier shoot.
- I can't kick him out.
- Sure you can.
- Ah! Hello! Bonjour!
- Hello.
- Violette.
- Ah! Violette, yes.
I'm Sakis.
Of course.
Nice to meet you.
Coffee and cigarette.
You brought him back?
Inspired by you
and Jean-Ren.
It's easy to
import guys now.
See you tomorrow.
You'll be fine.
Let's hook up,
the 4 of us.
- For dinner, I mean.
- Sure.
It's too soon
for anything else.
- Listen Lolo, we need to...
- Ah!
Er, your notebook was here
all along. You're shambolic.
-You're a mess.
- Thank you.
You're welcome,
mom.
It's partly your fault
Jean broke his arm.
Why'd you plaster him up?
Mother,
it was a surprise for you.
The Keller Gallery is taking
my new exhibit, "Trauma".
The Keller Gallery?
Bravo. I am so proud of you.
Invite Audrey to the opening
and maybe patch things up.
No, with Audrey,
it's dead and buried.
What?
Actually,
right now, I can't
leave Jean on his own.
He forgave all you said?
Yes.
He will move in here for a while
so I can look after him.
How long's a while?
I dunno.
He's giving up his apartment.
It's dusty,
he has allergies.
Are you sure?
With nothing in common,
what'll you talk about?
We do have stuff
in common.
We get on well...
If not enough,
we'll have a kid.
Then we'll really
have something in common.
You're nuts! At your age,
you'll have a mongoloid!
Sometimes I wonder
if you want me to be happy.
Gimme a break.
Look...
It'd be good if you find a place
to paint and sculpt.
It's getting pretty intrusive.
And the stuff you use stink.
Those resins are toxic.
They killed Nikki de Saint-Phalle.
Yeah, you're right.
Lulu's folks have a
room in the attic.
It's empty.
I could make it my studio.
Great.
I can hangout
at his place if you prefer.
Why not?
It's not a bad idea.
Perfect.
I couldn't let you
do it all by yourself.
I feel responsible
for your arm.
Thanks, I appreciate it. Really.
It's no big deal.
I can see my mom's
totally into you.
I'm glad you're
taking it like this.
I wondered how you'd reacted
when she asked you to move out.
Are you kidding?
It was my idea.
You guys need your space
and I need mine.
We're not gonna play
blended families,
like some dumb
American comedy.
You know, Lolo, you're welcome
to drop by whenever you want.
You keep your key and
we keep your room the way it is.
Cool.
Lulu, right?
Nice to meet you.
Take the big one.
Good for you. Cardboard boxes
plus stairs equals cardio workout.
I'll get that.
Just hold the door open.
Are you sure?
We are young.
Thank you.
Thanks.
Thanks for the help.
I mean it.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Gotcha!
You got everything?
Wait... My laptop.
My black bag.
- You left it in the car.
- Really?
On the front seat.
Damn, damn, damn...
Damn, damn, damn.
No, no, no...
Oh, no... no.
Excuse me.
You saw anyone took off
with a black laptop bag?
No.
- Sure?
- I'm sure.
Say I stole it,
why not?
J.R.!
We found your laptop.
Happy now?
An Arab didn't
take your book-bag.
I was only asking.
Don't go
calling in the UN.
This neighborhood
is full of hicks.
Hey! Hick yourself...
- Pardon me?
- No, nothing. No.
- Have a good evening!
- Yes, good evening.
Thank god!
My whole program's in there.
- No backups?
- Yeah, in the bank vault.
But I tweaked this one.
They'll love this.
Cool.
- We gotta go. See you.
- Okay, see you.
Thanks again.
- Here.
- Thanks.
The boys were
a great help.
- Lolo called to say his back hurts.
- Damn.
- I was a bit hard on him the other day.
- He seems fine.
Yeah?
He's having fun
handing out with his buddy.
That's is better than
clinging on to his mommy,
with an Oedipus complex.
He hurt his ribs when you
fell on him, now his back...
He's so fragile.
You keep worrying about him.
I guess so.
- Oh!
- Hm.
I'll miss you. When are you
getting back from Milan?
The day after tomorrow.
A quick trip.
- That's too long.
- I will miss you too.
- Look...
- Hmm.
Whoa! What the hell
is going on?
No, no, no!
Ar.
Hello,
how's my sweetie doing?
What is La Scala like?
If you get done early,
hop on the morning flight.
But I won't be here though.
I have a meeting with
the boss of the bank.
At 8:00 tomorrow morning.
No need to rush.
You can catch the later flight.
- Kisses, mio amore.
- "Amore mio."
"Amore mio." [My love.]
That's what I meant to say.
Kisses.
Good morning Mr. Dutertre.
Morning Mr. Dutertre.
Hmm...
Good morning Mr. Dutertre.
It's a pleasure to meet you.
The pleasure's all mine.
I'm very proud to present to you
my new software
that will connect the entire network
of France Rural Credit.
It has taken almost
20 years of hard work
and you won't be
disappointed.
My simulations
will show you
a 10 to 20 microseconds
of savings per transaction.
A net gain of
millions a day.
Yes, millions of euro a day!
You're welcome.
I am delighted to contribute
to the success of
France Rural Credit
and its shareholders.
What?
A genius? No...
Just passionate about my work.
Please call me
Jean-Ren.
- Calm down. He sleeps.
- Okay.
Where are you from again?
- Slovakia.
- I love Slovak.
My God, you have so many
books. Unbelievable!
Ah yes,
I'm a big reader.
- Aw, so sexy.
- Balzac, Flaubert...
What are we drinking?
But, he never got a chance
to see her again.
So Mareritte went to hell and back.
[ Norwegian: Mareritt means nightmare ]
There is this phrase that
Churchill you probably know.
Or maybe not.
"If you are go through hell,
keep going."
That's his life.
How can someone
have such bad luck?
It is so unfair.
He must be so lonely
after what happened to him.
Yes, he is staying here
because he doesn't
have a place to sleep
even in exactly 8 months,
he'll become the richest
man in France, but...
Until then,
I think all he wants
right now is a friend,
the warms,
the touch...
Just waking up
next to a woman...
or two.
Jean.
Jean-Ren!
Wake up.
What is it?
Who are they!?
Get the hell out!
Violette!
Who are you?
Violette, wait!
Violette, my love!
Hold on, sweetheart. Wait!
Don't touch me!
Marius?
Are you okay?
Marius?
I don't know these people.
Tell Them to leave!
Get dress!
Hold on...
I have no idea how they
got into our bed.
Your perversed hick literature!
Calm down.
And your hick clothes!
Sorry,
we just wanted to be nice.
Wanted to help.
You have
such a tragic life.
Tragic Life?
What did you tell them?
Your brush with death
gave you new perspective.
I've gotten new perspective too!
I don't know them!
Sorry.
We are so sorry.
We didn't want to cause any trouble.
Get out!
- This is ridiculous.
- Yes, ridiculous.
So drunk you forgot
screwing them!
No. Wait, wait, my love.
Wait, wait.
Take your hands
off me!
How can you think I be interested
in two two 20-year old blondes?
Honestly?
Ah!
I see now.
"Take your time.
Catch the later flight."
"I have a super
important meeting at 8."
Oh fuck, 8:20!
I have to go!
I gotta go!
My big meeting's 20 minutes ago.
The meeting of a lifetime.
When I get back,
we'll work out what happened.
Or didn't happen!
Nothing happened!
- Run, you coward!
- I don't know them.
- I love you.
- I don't.
- I don't love you!
- My love!
Violette, I love you.
I'll be back!
What happens?
What the hell are
you doing here?
I lost the keys to Lulu.
We were... I mean I was
a little drunk last night.
What's the deal
with the keys again?
And the 2 chicks
in my bed with Jean?
Two chicks?
No idea!
Oh year,
they were with me.
I brought them home
last night.
Maybe they went to pee
and got our rooms mixed up.
Got the rooms mixed up?
Bullshit!
It's insane,
you're covering for him.
Male comradery's more important
than your mother?
Chill out,
it's no big deal.
you show him Paris,
parties, models. It's new for him.
Put yourself in his shoes.
He's like a kid exploring
a huge toy store.
I don't get it.
I thought he loved me.
Don't be so
melodramatic.
What did you expect?
To grow old together
sitting by the fire?
Yes.
I'm so naive.
I fell for it.
It sucks when you
can't laugh about things.
It hurts me
to see you like this.
I'd love for you to
meet a really nice guy.
It'd change your
shitty life.
Don't answer!
It's me.
Those girls were
your son's doing.
I swear on my life.
I love you.
- Hurry!
- I'm sorry.
- Where were you? Been waiting forever.
- I know. I know.
Sorry,
a slight hiccup.
This is Mr. Dutertre,
COO of France Rural Credit, Europe.
He's here specifically to
inaugurate the new system.
You're very late.
The pleasure's all mine.
I am very proud...
to present to you
my new software
that will connect
FRC's complete trading network.
The computer program,
Mr. Dufour.
You won't be disappointed.
It has taken almost
20 years' of hard work.
According to my simulations...
Simulations.
You'll waste 10...
Save!
You'll save...
20-10...
10-20 milliseconds
per transaction.
My pleasure!
The gain in speed adds up
to millions per euro
Adds up to millions of euros
per day... of euros.
Millions of euros per day.
I'm very happy
to contribute to the success
of the Rural Credit
and its stock holders.
Rural, rural people.
What the...
This is not possible.
A small glitch,
nothing serious.
- It's not possible!
- Crashed.
Shut it off.
Reboot the computer.
- "Eat my shit you capitalist pig"
- Is this a joke?
- Hey! Dispatch?
- What the hell?
Shut it down,
stop trading!
It's a virus!
Are you sure?
You must be joking.
Call IT!
Implement the emergency protocol
right away.
Dufour,
what's going on?
- Stop him!
- He's the culprit!
Stop him!
Ariane, pickup!
What are you doing?
Shagging again?
Ever since you met your Greek,
you've been ignoring me.
It's horrible. I found Jean-Ren
with 2 hookers in my bed!
I'm going to the pharmacy
for anti-depressants,
tranquilizers... the work!
Call me back.
"Itching Powder"
My alarm clock!
What the hell!
Shit!
"Renaud"
Jean-Ren.
Oh! The bastard!
Hm, Dumbo...
Poison.
He is sick.
This is Violette.
Leave a message after the beep.
Violette, I have proof.
It was your son all along.
He's in the shower.
I'm in his room with his journal.
He wants me dead.
He planned to poison me with polonium.
The itching powder
was his doing.
He drugged me
at the charity gala.
The girls, that was him.
It's all him.
He gave me a D,
then a C, then a B!
It drove him nuts
that we are falling in love.
He's destroying my life.
He installed a virus
into my computer program.
I'm gonna kill him!
Gonna kill me?
How will that fix you with
my mother and your work?
Itching powder?
How old are you?
Itching powder
is timeless.
I feel your pain and
I can offer you a deal.
Me too!
My painting!
My painting, fuck!
My painting!
Say sorry
and I'll let go!
Apologize!
Mommy's little Lolo!
I'll let go!
- Say sorry!
- Let me up, asshole!
- Say sorry!
- Never! Screw you!
- Let go of me!
- Sure.
Jean-Ren Brave,
with a misleading name
was arrested for willful
destruction of property and assault,
Jean-Ren Brave
the author of
the computer virus
"Eat my shit,
you capitalist pig",
which translates as,
"Mange ma merde,
cochon de capitaliste".
The virus shuts down
France Rural Credit,
one of the country's
biggest bank.
Jean seems to be
a cyber terrorist
who infiltrated banking circles
posing as a nice,
or rather,
a 'brave' software developer.
As usual in cases like this,
the media has overreacted.
We ruled out Chinese
or Russian cyber terrorism...
Damn.
He's famous.
Thanks to me.
I wanted to thank
all our customers...
Except that
he's now in jail.
I'm not connected to
cyber terrorists.
My computer
was hacked into.
What proof do you have?
Can you get the system
up and running again?
Give me 48 hours,
system administrator password
and a computer connected
to Rural Credit. Please.
Patrick.
The doc's here
for his plaster.
Oh fuck!
Which hacker group
are you with?
Any link to
Assange or Snowden?
I am a computer programmer.
I'm not posing as anyone.
You working for
a Chinese bank?
- Who then?
- Nobody.
Please, Mr. Brave,
what is the virus?
What is this loser doing here?
- Motherfucker!
- Bastard!
Psychosis paranoid.
He blames everything on Lolo.
Just think,
a cyber terrorist!
He was in deep cover
and you ate it all up.
Ur...
Lolo stormed out,
saying I only bring nuts home.
He doesn't feels safer
here anymore.
Why did they both
go off the rails?
I guess you just
never got lucky.
No.
I didn't tell you,
Lolo caught J.R.'s elbow in the ribs
and they have been hurting ever since.
He finally told me today that
he has a bruised pancreas
and could degenerate
into cancer...
of the pancreas.
We're back up.
You did it!
It works!
Bed.
Jean! Jean!
He's often in Athens,
so I have time on my hands,
but I want to be with him
all the time.
I'm falling
completely in love.
It's so enlightening.
For example,
did you know clitoris means
"tiny penis" in Greek?
"Clitoridia".
Pretty, isn't it?
Whenever I mention Sakis,
you clam up.
- It's not that, it's just...
- Why don't you call him?
Like all the others,
he literally disappeared.
He changed his number,
won't reply to emails...
My niece is his daughter's best friend.
She must know where he is.
- Not a good idea.
- Lolo is back with Audrey?
Apparently,
but he's still living at home.
Hey, Violet.
Hi, Annabelle.
Mom.
How's it going, sweetie?
Quit asking.
You are so nosey.
I fucking hate her.
Let's go.
I always felt
compelled to express my pain
in my works. It's raw and direct.
It all began with
an accidental wound to my ribs.
- A wound?
- Yes.
The weapon was an elbow.
What inspires you?
Life.
My life.
My project is an
"auto-bio-graphic"
nurtured within me
since I was a boy.
That's fascinating.
Yes.
Totally..
The Umbrellas of Death.
It's a real sicko that Lolo.
No kidding. Maybe
even worse than you.
I'm not in his league.
He's a full-on psycho.
Meaning?
Go on, spit it out.
What's in it for me?
I cancel your debt.
- Okay?
- Not bad.
My sister texted me his number.
I'll forward it to you.
- Forget it.
- Too late.
Violette,
we need to talk.
Come.
When Jean-Ren said
everything was down to Lolo...
- What if it's true?
- Are you nuts?
They guy who flipped
on you 10 years ago...
- Didn't he blame Lolo?
- Bertrand?
And Ludo?
And Gary?
Gary?
Lolo was 7!
Lolo didn't make him fled to Thailand
without leaving an address.
And the guy you dumped
over the cashmere sweaters?
- Lolo, where are you? Let's go.
- Yes Mom, coming.
Not possible.
You said Mathieu
was a bad father
for making Lolo wait hours
outside the school.
Hours.
Know what Annabelle told me?
Lolo used to hide.
- What?
- Lolo used to hide.
He even told Annabelle
back then,
"That way mom will yell at dad,
and then he'll leave."
This is Violette.
Calling to see
how you're doing.
Fine. Better.
Good to hear that.
I though I'd drop by
Biarritz in a few days.
I hear it's lovely
in winter.
Not bad.
But I prefer winter in London.
London?
Hey.
What's with the case?
If you won't leave,
I will.
I'll wire you 3,000.
Then you're on your own.
You what?
You're on your own now.
I'm leaving.
You're losing it.
Chill.
Not losing it,
leaving.
Where?
How long?
It's none of your business.
Are you having your period?
No, just fed up!
Calm down, relax.
You're so tense.
Let me go.
What's up?
We were getting on fine.
You want me to leave?
You go. I find someone.
You reappear, wreck everything.
What are you talking about?
Don't blame me for
your crackpots.
I read your journal.
My journal?
You drove them
all insane.
Ah, my journal!
Wait, wait, wait.
That's conceptual.
For my next project
"Fiction-bio-graphic".
Oh.
It's all made up.
Not buying it.
It's your fault
I keep getting dumped.
No, half of them
couldn't take your shit.
- Thanks.
- Who is it now?
Another loser
I'll have to scare off.
What's wrong with you?
Jean is right.
Jean-Ren?
You're running to J.R.?
He tried to kill me!
He's a mental case!
A perverse!
Narcissist! Sociopath!
He'll chop you up and eat you!
Is that what you want?
You're leaving me for him?
I'm not leave you.
I'm cutting the cord.
Too easy, mom.
Walking out on me
after tying me down for so long.
Don't you remember?
Telling me every night
I was the love of your life.
You're my son, that's what
mommies tell their little boys.
I believed it.
I believed, Mom.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have.
No.
Look...
Listen to me.
We start over.
I messed up, I was immature.
I won't do it again.
I behaved like a kid.
I know I hurt you.
But I'm a changed man.
More mature, since October.
I'll move across town.
We'll meet now and then,
Sunday maybe.
I'll go see a shrink.
Done. The cord is cut.
I feel so cool.
I'll go then.
Are you really going to
leave me alone, mama?
When I'm not well.
Suffering.
If you go,
I'll kill myself.
Mom,
my eggs and toast.
- Hey.
- Hm.
You're moving to London?
No, just 3 days.
- Only 3 days?
- Yes
Pity.
Let's get a taxi,
drop your suitcase off.
When they saw me cracked
the virus in less than 48 hours,
they hired me on the spot.
From a hospital bed to the City.
Look at you.
In a few months,
the naive peasant
I fell in love with has gone.
- You kept making fun of me.
- I was really cute.
Now you're swimming with the sharks,
I'm not sure we have a future.
Cut it out. I'm still the same guy.
See?
You haven't given a penny
to any of the homeless guy so far.
I didn't see them.
- Hold on, call of nature.
- Call of the wild!
- I need to pee.
- Hold on.
- You know where it is?
- Yes.
This place is huge.
Hello...
Sabine,
stop running around
half-naked.
She has a key just in case.
Must've had a party nearby.
Of course.
Sabine,
tell me when you're
staying over.
Yeah, yeah.
[Sabine is Jean's daughter]
Plum Nuts
Etta James
Plum, plum, plum, plum.
You know I plum nuts over you.
Well I told everybody
in the neighbourhood.
How much I love you.
You didn't mean,
mean all good.
You take all my money,
stay out all night long.
Need a whisper
to make you stay at home.
Because I plum, plum, plum, plum.
You know I plum nuts over you.
Yeah You're going around here
trying to play it cool.
And I always talking about
the golden rule.
I maybe crazy
but I went to school.
Yeah all my friends say
I'm a great big fool.
Because I plum, plum, plum, plum.
You know I plum nuts over you.
You're lying,
tell me I'm the only one in the world.
And I'd know you running around
with those all of girls.
You ain't nothing
but a circus clown.
You can't bleed me baby
I'm gonna put you down.
I told everybody
in the neighbourhood.
How much I love you.
You didn't mean,
mean all good.
You take all my money,
stay out all night long.
I need a whisper
to make you stay at home.
Because I plum, plum, plum, plum.
You know I plum nuts over you.
You're lying,
tell me I'm the only one in the world.
And I'd know you run around
with those all of girls.
You ain't nothing
but a circus clown.
You can't bleed me baby
I'm gonna put you down.
You're going around here
trying to play it cool.
And I always talking about
the golden rule.
And I maybe crazy
but I went to school.
All of my friends say
I'm a great big fool.
Because I plum, plum, plum, plum.
You know I plum nuts over you.
Yeah plum, plum, plum, plum.
You know I plum nuts over you.
(For French spoken releases.)
[Including song lyrics and few annotations]
Music to Watch Girls By
Andy Williams
The boys watch the girls
while the girls watch the boys
who watch the girls go by.
Eye to eye,
they solemnly convene
to make the scene.
Which is the name of the game,
watch a guy watch a dame
on any street in town.
"What's that sound?"
each time you hear a loud
collective sigh.
They're making music
to watch girls by.
Guys talk "girl talk",
it happens everywhere.
Eyes watch girls walk
with tender lovin' care.
It's keepin' track of the pack
watching them watching back.
That makes the world go 'round.
Eye to eye,
they solemnly convene
to make the scene.
La, la, la, la...
[... attenuated song]
[effects "head under water"]
- It's seawater.
- You think?
- It's warm, at least.
- Yes.
What's in the pool?
Fucus.
[A brown algae]
Remove the fat, firms the muscles.
Ideal for what we have.
- What do we have?
- 45 years of ages.
Ar...
It's like germ soup.
Think how many people peed in here today.
You're nuts!
Nobody pees in here.
What's with the spurt of water
up my pussy? It sucks.
It's meant to do that.
I don't like it.
It's great.
A pussy massage, so relaxing.
- When did you last get laid?
- Give me a break.
I have other priorities besides men.
You're just obsessed.
Not a bit.
I'm a much deeper person.
- I don't have to tell you everything.
- Yeah?
Seriously, add up all the nights
you had a man in your bed,
it won't total to one year
since Lolo's dad bailed.
Don't exaggerate.
There've been other men.
Hardly.
You're right, it's not normal.
It only I could find a guy
to share magic moments with.
"Magic moments"?
Excuse me while I shoot myself.
Enough of being groped by water!
Two weeks at a spa
and I haven't lost a kilo.
Pisses me off.
Hold on,
I gotta take a piss.
Gross!
Damn weather!
It's done being sunny, it rains.
The whole region's getting me down.
That's the country side for you.
Talk something else.
Oh!
What's the commotion there?
Aw. A child drowned!
You're a mess, my dear.
Seriously! I can't look!
No, it's a tuna!
One heck of a tuna.
It's Grard and Jean-Ren.
You know them?
Grard was married to Nicole.
Jean-Ren is Sabine's father.
She was at school with Clmentine.
- He's divorced too.
- Fascinating.
Hey, boys!
"Hey, boys"?
- They're coming over!
- Obviously.
- What a beauty!
- Check it out.
- Okay?
- And you?
I'm Ariane, her sister.
- From Paris?
- Exactly.
Her friend, Violette.
I'm so sorry.
You moron! My overalls!
It slipped.
I'll buy you a new one.
Forget it.
I have to go get changed now.
Sorry for the "moron".
It slipped out.
Heard the one about the blind guy
passing a fish market?
"Hey, girls!"
Subtle, very classy.
He's sorry.
It was funny.
We can use a laugh.
Are you going to eat all that
by yourself?
We'll make a evening of it.
You want to come?
No thanks.
It's full of mercury.
Omega-3? Count us in!
9 pm at Jean-Ren's?
You know the place?
Yes.
See you tonight.
Yes.
They're both single.
God-sent for you.
I can't stand guys
ruining my clothes.
Is it often?
One guy washed my
cashmere on hot.
I dumped him
after the 6th sweater.
It's time you get a cat.
Why?
Get a taste of what
your life will be.
You should bang Jean-Ren.
Are you kidding me?
Lower your standards.
I get Grard, the moron.
Granny always said:
"Boneheads bone better."
Jean-Ren's sweet
but most likely a bad lay.
How come?
His ex-wife Monique was his first.
Oh, practically a virgin.
What a bummer!
But at least clean.
Perfect for you.
Make the most of the vacation,
get your chimney swept.
The sweep's leaving.
Bye!
See you later!
Hello!
The red's a little...
It's happy.
I find red better for
younger ladies.
After 40, a pattern's better.
Hides the muffin top, too.
- The muffin top?
- Just there.
Do you mind!
After 40, it happens.
Nothing personal, it's hormonal.
Men don't like muffin tops.
You think a muffin top or two
will repel a man who loves you?
Research in Germany shows...
I saw a documentary about it.
Men are sick of bimbos.
They want chicks with a job,
opinions and muffin tops even.
The Merkel effect.
Now choose one and let's go.
That's much better.
Okay, I'll try it.
Shit!
My maid has the
exact same dress.
It's just fine.
Some liberal, ashamed of
her proletarian wardrobe.
My cleaner is 65.
Ah, you exploit a
little old lady?
Oh damn...
Wow, everything is there.
Hanging lights, water-resistant
tablecloth and sangria!
- Depressing. Let's bail.
- Drink!
So where's your Bourvil?
No sign of him.
Maybe we're too late and he's found
that special someone already.
Find him fast,
it's your last chance.
After this is Paris, work, and
spending the evenings with BFM.
[Brickell Fashion Market]
- Yes.
I don't see him anywhere.
Oh!
Total hick! Wearing socks
with sandals. Extremely ugly.
He's off the scale,
like deliberately repulsive.
Don't care, here goes...
Remember Granny.
"Bumpkins bone better."
Boneheads!
I decline all responsible.
- Good evening, Ariane.
- Good evening, Grard.
- I was just talking about you.
- I am delighted.
- Ah!
- Violette! Is that right?
- Yes.
- Can I have one?
- Sure.
Really sorry for this afternoon.
Nobody ever pulled the
tuna trick on me.
The tuna trick?
As a pick-up stunt.
It never fails.
But I know I'm not your type.
What's my type?
You're Ariane's girlfriend,
right?
Absolutely.
Of course!
Any wedding plans,
now the law's passed?
No, no, no.
We're anti-marriage.
We're reactionary lesbians,
a super rare species.
- Huh.
- Yeah.
What about you?
Married?
Me? Married 20 years,
divorced twice.
I've dated, but never got
that special feeling.
They used to call it love.
On you,
that dress is ravishing.
You think so?
I wasn't sure.
I'm sure.
Fits your figure.
- My figure?
- Would you pass me a tuna?
- Sorry.
- Thank you.
I'm playing with you.
We're totally straight.
Ariadne, and me,
we're straight.
- I'm sorry. Grard said...
- No problem.
I've considered switching teams.
Hasn't everybody?
No, not me, not everybody.
Homosexuals are all really nice
but...
No, not all really nice.
I'm just saying,
it's a free country.
I'm not judging anyone.
It's just not for me.
OK.
I heard you're moving to Paris?
Yes.
I found a wonderful place.
Ah yes!
In the Beaugrenelle district.
A modern building.
View of the Eiffel Tower.
- Beaugrenelle?
- Yes. the apartments.
Whoa!
What do you do?
I'm in IT,
specialize in finance.
What's your field?
Fashion. I am an Art Director.
Runway shows, events...
My daughter Sabine,
she's just like you.
Really?
She wanted to get into
something creative
but in the end,
she's doing international
business in London.
Do you have children?
A little boy, Eloi. Adorable.
Eloi? Nice name.
Better get that.
Could be important.
Excuse me.
Hello darling.
Yes of course.
Is she biting?
Miracles happen?
Are you crazy?
We're just talking.
Why'd you say she's a lesbian?
It was a joke.
- Did you ask her?
- Nah...
You knucklehead.
She likes you anyway.
No, she speaks English and all...
Take it from me.
I know.
Look, she's checking you out.
Yeah, she's looking at me.
Don't laugh.
Go on.
- I'll take her tuna over.
- Go for it.
I knew I should never
listen to Granny.
Actually, I like this weather.
And the spa is working wonders.
You're in a good mood!
Bought the red dress, not whining.
- Was it really that good?
- What?
I wasn't born yesterday.
It was great.
Your were right.
Just what I needed.
When are you seeing him again?
It was just a fun night.
I don't plan on doing it again.
We're going back to Paris next week.
I told him, one night only.
Or two.
I won't be seeing
anybody else for 3 weeks.
Who knows?
All those models.
Don't worry about the models.
Your train is about to depart,
be careful of closing doors.
Call me.
Kisses!
What did you do?
I thought he'd burst into tears.
Nothing special.
Here've you been all week?
You disappeared from the spa.
He went down on me.
For a whole week?
Yep. Even during my period.
Ah!
Not on the first day.
At the end, barely any blood.
Ah! That's alright then.
It was a heavenly week.
Too good to be true.
I bet he has cancer
and didn't tell me.
He couldn't.
Got cancer.
Wanted you to know.
Cancer.
I've got cancer, I'm dying.
Seriously, he is so sweet,
borderline naive.
Borderline dumb?
No.
Naive doesn't mean dumb.
I'm sick of smart-ass Parisian guys,
messing with my head.
I even think he could
get along with Eloi.
- He's in IT.
- Ah!
He's so proud of his
apartment in Beaugrenelle.
Beaugrenelle sucks!
He's a genuine romantic,
I think.
I 'd hate to hurt him.
Hurt his tongue?
- You'd regret it.
- Yeah!
Him?
It's my Lolo!
My Alpine pussycat!
Yes, we're on the train.
Madam, didn't you see the sign?
No phones.
Ma'am, she's talking to her son.
He's quadriplegic.
I left you a message.
A fling, a great guy from Biarritz.
You could've called me!
I was so worried after the paragliding.
Paragliding?
You haven't seen "The Intouchables"?
Quadriplegics love paragliding.
They're allowed to have fun too.
Okay, I'll tell her
you send your love.
- All good?
- All good. Very good.
No calls in 3 weeks, must be
going well with his girlfriend.
Annabelle only calls to complain.
"I'm so depressed.
I'm not eating, I'm anorexic."
"Don't blame him, it's you..."
It's what we are here for.
I guess.
Pain in the ass being a mother.
Small Talk
Claudine Longet & Tommy LiPuma
Sunday best and dressed
to kill the afternoon.
You know how draggy
afternoons can be sometimes,
you're lucky you find
someone to talk with you.
Small talk.
It's been nice talking to you,
walking with you... too.
Ba, ba, ba,...
In 2 weeks, the commercial shoot
in Greece will be hell.
Sick of sea and sun!
The agency insists on
shooting on an island.
Greek islands!
Are you listening?
Sorry, I was miles away.
That's true, he's on his way.
You're picking him up?
He's driving. I'll let him settle in
and see him this weekend.
You can hold out 3 days?
Come on. I'm not an animal.
I'd to impose.
You're not exhausted
from the drive?
I am beat.
This way.
I can't see anything.
Don't worry, that way.
Oh fuck!
Arr!
- What the...
- Damn!
Lolo,
what you doing in my bed?
You took the TV
from my room.
I watched it here last night
before falling asleep.
Audrey flipped on me,
so I thought I'd stay here.
If it's a problem, I'll leave.
No, no. Stay, I...
This is Jean.
Eloi, my son.
Call him Lolo.
Good evening, Eloi.
Jean-Ren.
Nice to meet you.
- Jean-Ren?
- Yes.
Pleasure.
Did I hurt you?
No, nothing major.
Are you sure?
Goodnight.
By the way, I couldn't find
the weed in Easy Rider.
Try The Bird DVD.
I put it in there.
It's no problem if I stay?
No, his room's down the hall.
You call him
"my little boy".
I wasn't expecting
a young man.
He's still my little boy.
You know,
you think they're always 5.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm worried, though.
That sad expression, swollen eyes...
I don't know,
I never met him before.
What's up with the weed?
He only smokes a little,
for his migraines. You're shocked?
No, been there, done that.
I smoked pot in high school.
Now, where were we?
Pst! It's free.
Ah! Thank you.
Sorry about last night.
I completely forgot her
text about you arriving.
Falling on top of you is hardly
a formal introduction.
Don't worry, I'm used to it.
Ah.
Gotta get back at it.
Oh...
Running out on me?
No, I'd have woken you first.
I have stuff to do at home
before I go to work.
See you soon.
Tonight, no?
Yes, tonight.
It will be less hectic.
I hope it will be
a little hectic.
Where's my kiss?
Why didn't you call to say
you would be here last night?
It was crazy with Audrey.
She was hysterical.
- I didn't think of it.
- What happened?
No, I don't need
your motherly advice.
You just want juicy details.
OK, my Alpine bunny.
Mum, Alpine bunny?
I'm 20 years old.
19!
So, what do you think of him?
Who?
Jean.
Jean-Ren?
Cut it out.
C'mon, what do you think?
Well...
He's from Biarritz.
You'll really like him.
He's a total sweetheart.
He seems nice,
for sure.
A nice hick?
Are you blind?
He is hideous!
It's cool,
you're not gonna to have kids.
That would be a total disaster.
He's not ugly.
He just has no dress sense.
I only saw him for 2 seconds.
His ears remind me
of my favorite cartoon as a kid.
- What?
- Dumbo!
Don't be so mean.
Kids today are obsessed with
looks and superficial stuff.
Just keep him
out of the spotlight.
I really like him.
Just pulling your leg.
What does he do?
Develops financial software.
Cutting edge.
Cool.
He loaded?
I don't know.
If he didn't kill himself in 2008,
he couldn't have lost everything.
You still eat that crap?
Keeps me from smoking.
That's good for your asthma,
but not now.
My little Lolo!
What's wrong?
I think he cracked
a rib last night.
Damn.
It's okay. Are we going to
the McCoy party tonight?
Oh man, I was to see Jean.
I totally forgot.
You could see him later.
Or I could take him?
Seriously, mother dear.
Your Biarritz boy at McCoy's?
Eat you eggs and toast.
Move, asshole!
Ergonomic design,
eco-friendly,
wifi-connected,
multi-purpose printers...
That's right, the
France Rural Credit's Dream Complex
provides a state of the art workplace.
Numerous convivial collaborative spaces,
access for persons
with reduced mobility,
and complete wifi coverage.
The complex also offers a bank,
boutiques,
concierge service,
Machines serving hot and cold
chocolate on every floor
of France Rural Credit's Dream Complex.
Ah, it's fine,
but it's hell getting here.
Ah, you're new in town.
People here
don't drive their cars.
The traffic here's crazy.
Meanwhile, we're based here.
It's temporary, but they spoiled us
with all this space.
As always, inseparable!
- How are you, darling?
- Very good, and you?
It's been forever.
You look amazing!
- I feel great...
- You got my book?
No, I did a
"total digital detox".
I'm changing my style.
Yes, it's breathtaking.
Take a look before the price rockets.
I can't wait, darling.
Hi Steven!
- Hello?
- Yes, Violet?
- Can't hear you.
- Hello?
Will I still see you tonight?
Yes, yes, yes...
I'll have to find somewhere quiet
and call you back. Hello?
See you soon.
- Where are you going?
- Just calling...
Steinberg's here.
He has a mega-gallery in London.
You can introduce me.
Yes, but be quick.
- This is my son, Eloi.
- Hello.
- He's an amazing artist.
- Yes, I am.
It's me, Jean.
Sorry, I couldn't call you,
I was tied up here.
I'm heading home now,
so, call me.
Okay? Love you.
Jean, it's me.
I'm going to bed now,
but call me anytime.
"Everything OK? Get in touch.
I was stuck at the party."
"Johnny, my love?"
"Either you're mad at me
or in an accident.
There's no other explanation."
"I'm worried sick."
"You let the gas?
You're suffocating?"
"Jean, I love you
don't leave me."
You with a hooker?
"I'm hyperventilating.
I'm dying."
"If you don't want to see me,
I want to know now."
"Call me, or I'm going to
call an ambulance."
"I'm going crazy.
Are you dead?"
Jamy, the mirage,
it is not a hallucination.
It is a very real phenomenon.
Evidence that...
Ah!
Hello how are you?
You did?
I sent loads of texts,
I was so worried.
You're not mad at me?
Of course I'm bot mad at you.
I fell asleep on my phone.
That's a relief.
I'm cooking dinner tonight.
You want to come?
You bet. Okay,
see you at 8 tonight.
- 8's perfect. Kisses.
- Same here.
Sleep well, honey bun?
Yeah, fine.
You moved the TV?
Yeah.
Since it's not working out
with Audrey, so I thought...
Oh my.
You don't mind me staying?
No, of course not.
Thanks, mommy dear.
I'm cooking for Jean tonight.
- Free to join us?
- Who?
Jean-Ren.
J.R. Yeah!
Sure, I'm free as a bird.
You'll get to know him.
It's no hassle?
You must be joking.
- Anytime
- Great.
Don't bombard your boyfriend
with paranoid texts.
It scares guys off.
Trust my experience.
No, it's cool.
Hey sir,
your ticket!
Lemon chicken.
Your biggest hit.
You think he'll like it?
He'll love it.
First time around.
After 100 times,
it's kinda old.
Your super-wife act
never fools them for long.
Frozen meals will win out.
You're exaggerating!
I make boiled eggs too.
And salads.
It's never too late to learn.
My life's at a crossroads.
At 40 years old,
I'm maturing and moving on.
45 in 2 months.
If maturity for a chick today
means cooking for her man,
thank god for the feminists.
You don't understand at your age.
I do understand.
I'm just kidding.
Frozen meals are like
second mother to me.
Right, get up.
Promise you'll be nice to him.
Very chic!
I didn't want to look like a mess
for the official introduction.
Classy!
Go sit in the living room.
What can I get you?
- I don't know. Same as you.
- A beer!
So, Paris...
Like it?
Yes. I'd visited before,
but living here is something else.
Waking up...
Thank you.
Falling asleep and waking up with the
Eiffel Tower at the window is incredible.
Amazing...
What are all these paintings
against the wall?
My son's a very talented artist.
You painted that?
It's my new concept.
Auto-bio-graphic.
Do you like them?
A lot...
No thanks.
Yes...
I like the...
The bird in the sky.
Magnificent.
That's a smudge.
I see.
I have to admit,
my son's the future of humanity.
You're in finance?
Technically, no.
I sold software to Rural Credit.
A revolutionary,
high-frequency trading program
that processes transactions
faster than the competition.
Just a few microseconds but that
gives a huge strategic advantage.
Fascinating.
Two years ago,
I went into a "lifeless" mode
to perfect it.
It was for a financial organization
in Bordeaux.
It generated so much buzz,
I scaled it up for France Rural Credit.
How does the software work?
It's simple.
I took the code of an old
open source program,
Optimized it with some
custom-built addons...
Adaptable?
Before adapting it
and bringing it online,
the analysts and IT guys
itemize and document
every feature required.
Then it gets interesting.
If the deployment goes well...
Where's it at?
Can't say. Contractually.
Top secret.
Are you interested.
I love finance.
System security requires focus.
I developed bricks that
adapt to customer's needs
using plug-ins...
It's fascinating
but I have to leave you lovebirds.
Lulu's waiting for me.
- See you.
- See you.
Lolo...
- You okay?
- Yeah.
What's wrong?
It's my rib.
Still?
Go see Dr. Guillaume tomorrow.
I'll be okay.
Dinner went well.
Yeah.
I confess,
I was pretty bored.
Really?
Get used to it,
it's his job.
- Yeah.
- I think he's cool.
- You guys have fun.
- Yeah you too.
Totally lame,
they guy she picked up.
With a name like Jean-Ren,
I won't even shake his hand.
- Gets a D, the guy.
- D?
Yeah, scores a D.
Lowest there is. Douchebag.
A's don't exist.
B's super rare.
My old man.
The rest are C's
and mostly D's.
Absolute nerd.
Fuck, he's creepy.
No style.
D's too good for him.
- He's a geek like you.
- No, no, no...
He's an IT engineer, not a geek,
Subtle difference.
How does my mom do it?
I guess, at her age,
you're not picky.
Single guys are assholes.
The rest are used goods,
bled dry by their ex'es.
The timing stinks.
You get dumped and your old lady
is playing the newlywed.
It's great timing.
Parties, models,
fashion shows...
My ma's schedule is
mine in Fashion Week.
As if models
would look at you.
Totally. Take a good look.
I'm your buddy, not your twin.
But your ma's gonna take
her new man to all the parties.
No sweat.
It's all under control.
You ever heard
the expression GBW?
Gone Before Winter.
This guy's GBF.
Gone Before Fall.
Trust me, 1 week.
- Any preference?
- You choose.
- How about a comedy?
- I love comedies.
- Let's see, I have...
- Yeah?
- Blazing Saddles?
- Blazing Saddles? Is that a western?
A Mel Brooks comedy.
You'll love it.
My Lolo.
Go to sleep.
Eloi, on the tit again.
Greedy glutton!
Beddy-byes!
Up!
Oh!
Don't cry, pumpkin.
Cool, helping mom
fix up her place.
Paintings look better
on the wall.
What are you doing?
Holding the screws.
The picture.
Don't forget the picture.
You're saying I'm a klutzy?
No, sweetheart.
Here...
"where buy polonium on the darknet"
- This way a bit.
- No, we're good.
- Perfect!
- Just perfect!
Ah, that's great!
See, Lolo?
Your first art work.
Isn't it beautiful?
It's pretty.
- Another?
- That one.
- Okay.
- Let's go.
What a beautiful day.
But this is white.
Yes, but the designer said
"As white as possible."
Can you whiter?
She looks gray.
No. This is Kabuki.
This is white, white, white!
Okay, just do something.
Gah! This is a disaster.
We have a
color harmony issue.
- We open in 45 minutes.
- Change the gels.
We have 15 minutes
to make it work.
15 minutes!
Okay.
There you go.
Thanks.
Still seeing "Thingamajig"?
All the time.
Jeez, for a one-night stand,
he's tenacious.
Yeah, turns out
we're a great fit.
No shit. A clitoral
with an eager licker.
You're vaginal,
subtlety's beyond you.
You mean, I don't wait years
for a do-gooder to hit the spot.
Speaking of vaginal, I am flying
to Greece tomorrow for the shoot.
I can't come to
your charity gala.
- Damn!
- Your man's going?
Yes. Lolo's helping him
to find an outfit.
- Lolo helping him?
- Yes.
They are buddies.
They keep yapping about computers.
They love it.
- That's mine?
- No.
- It is.
- No.
Stop hoarding my food.
Uh, you are so bitchy.
Awesome,
the Eiffel Tower.
- It's a partial view
but better than nothing.
Your daughter?
Pretty.
- Sabine. She's your age.
- Really?
Look.
You got anything else?
I'm not sure if I want
to go to the party.
It's not my place, I know no one,
I'll feel out of place.
Stop, J.R.
You know me.
That would be enough.
She invited you,
that's important for her.
- You think?
- Of course.
I am delighted that
you two are together.
It's a weight off my shoulders.
The last few years have been tough,
with guys bailing on her.
For a woman her age,
it's not easy.
I'm counting on you.
You can.
The beige jacket
in the hall's not bad.
I'll go get it.
Here. Look...
- No?
- No.
Want to go shopping?
Why not?
Great idea.
You crazy!
It's in the future.
From Dr. Frankenstein,
he saw a man without passion.
He explained that the human race
was sentenced,
that space was closed to him.
That the only link...
What are you looking at?
They have wifi-enabled
security cameras in every corner.
They must have a multi-petabyte
array to store months of footage.
Amazing for a museum.
State-of-the-art.
This is the Pompidou Center,
not the Brittany Naval Museum.
Sorry.
You haven't stopped scratching
since we got here.
Are you allergic to art?
No, it started in the subway.
Let me see.
Oh!
You're red all over!
Is... is...
Is it eczema?
I never had it before.
It itches all over.
Ar!
I'll call someone who's
an expert on skin diseases.
I'll be right back.
Skin disease?
The shock was too strong.
After viewing...
It's me.
Is this a bad time?
You who know anything
about venereal disease?
Of course,
that's my speciality.
Can I call you back?
I'm busy.
No, no.
It's urgent.
Jean has rashes
all over his body.
It's food.
Even the willy?
Ar!
You said he was clean.
You think it's AIDS?
Don't start that again.
You've been doing that for 25 years.
You are not asking if you can
catch AIDS giving a blow-job!
Blow-jobs?
Look, keep calm.
I'm 100% sure
it's not that.
- What then?
- I don't know.
Don't rub up against
him tonight.
Love you. Kisses!
Everything alright?
Yes.
My best friend.
She is a hypochondriac,
you know?
It's a Greek word.
Oh my God!
Everything is Greek!
But your smile.
Your smile is so French.
Ah, the Greeks!
Interesting.
A film-essay, is that right?
Yes.
You should see a doctor tomorrow.
I know one who is a friend.
Maybe it's a virus.
I'm also feeding kind of... crappy.
- Maybe it's contagious.
- What?
The virus is making me itchy.
If it's even a virus.
I feel terrible.
I need to go to bed early.
Do you mind if I sleep alone?
I feel bloated.
We haven't even had dinner.
Forget it.
I'm not feeling well.
Thank you.
I try to share fairly,
but there are so many.
You think I'm silly?
No, it's just that
I don't see them anymore.
Well,
enjoy your evening.
- Huh, okay.
- Yeah.
- See you tomorrow.
- See you tomorrow.
- Call me.
- Yes.
Beautiful.
Alright?
I'm itching all over.
Jean too.
Really?
You're not a kid,
you use protection?
The south-west is famous
for its swinger clubs.
- Really?
- Of course!
South-west...
Foie gras [French delicacy "fatty livers"]
rugby...
Swingers clubs!
"Clubs swingers Biarritz"
The Foie Gras Swingers?!
Oh!
Nothing out of the ordinary.
You've been to the countryside?
No.
But are you a country boy?
No, I'm from Biarritz.
There you go.
It's the change of environment.
From the fresh air
to the smog of Paris.
You can't handle the pollution.
Or it could be the dust
in your apartment.
Where do you live?
Beaugrenelle Towers.
They built with anything back then.
Wash all your clothes
and your apartment thoroughly.
Violette doesn't need to worry.
She asked me to
prescribe a few tests.
A few tests?
The lab around the corner
is expecting you.
Urethral swab,
HIV 1, HIV 2,
gonorrhea,
herpes simplex 1 and 2,
hepatitis B - C,
chlamydia, trichomoniasis,
syphilis and chancroid.
No, are you kidding?
Ah! And HPV! It's new.
[Human Papillomavirus Infection]
It's new?
The famous
oral sex cancer.
You know, Michael Douglas?
He's an actor.
Ah.
40 grands, not possible.
So, we lose the chandeliers?
Definitely not.
I'll come up with something.
How's my pumpkin?
I forgot my mobile and the keys.
I locked myself out.
- Can I take yours?
- Of course, sure.
I don't like it when I
can't get hold of you.
Lulu, okay?
- You've lost weight.
- Thanks.
Basketball.
I'm his fitness trainer.
I screwed up
with Jean-Ren.
Again?
My disease phobia.
Not the tests again?
Mommy dear,
you need to make it up.
Go get him
a big ass lunch.
Good idea.
Come on.
I do not even know
where he works.
Go!
Pass, pass!
No.
- Pass!
- Attack, attack!
Timeout.
You have your phone with you?
You told your mom you didn't.
It's a trick... to get her
keys away from her,
so tonight she'll have
to sleep at his place.
I'm sick of them
groaning all night.
I'm totally open-minded
but I can't take any more.
A stranger in my own home.
Damn, you're right,
the guy's way out of line.
Yeah.
She'll see where he works
and will get panic.
Hey, she wouldn't
want to fuck him!
He's laughing.
Well done!
I would have been quicker on foot.
Thanks for the excursion!
Right.
All the way down,
turn right on the end.
Thank you.
Thanks.
I did all your tests.
You forgot to ask for Ebola.
That's not an STD.
- Next.
- Dish of the day.
It was tough with
Eloi's dad cheated on me
and all these guys sleeping around
- It is hard to trust again.
- Thank you.
- Madam?
- Green beans.
Violette, I was with my wife
for 20 years, and...
- And the swingers clubs?
- The what?
Nothing.
Thank you.
- Since then?
- Since then, nothing much.
- I apologize for the tests.
- It was nothing.
A quick blood sample and
a cotton swab in the urethra.
That must have hurt.
Horrible.
I'm so sorry.
You're a bit lunatic,
but I like being with you.
Yo do?
I almost died
a few years ago.
Really?
Not a contagious disease.
- An accident.
- Oh.
Auh, an accident?
What happened?
I don't talk about it,
but it gave me new perspective.
So dating me is
better than having a coma?
Yeah...
I have to think it over.
And "nothing much" for years
was with or without condoms?
I am joking.
I hope so.
Without condoms,
obviously.
No, no, no!
Les Miz!
You mean Les Misrables?
- Yes.
You know your
French literature.
Victor Hugo is so up there.
What?
Damn it! She picked up
the spare key at Paulette's.
Is everything okay?
No, there is a problem.
We can't go to my place tonight.
Where are you staying?
At a small hotel in the 15th.
After the sauce,
buy a good chicken.
The important part is
the texture, the firmness.
Here, it should be firm.
It talks to me, it has
a personal vibration.
There's a bond,
a connection to the animal,
Even though I'm alive
and it's passed on.
Don't feel intimidated.
It's only a chicken.
You toss it whole
into the pot.
Meanwhile, you can
cut up the vegetables
to prepare
the basque side dish.
Coming!
Violets?
Isn't that sweet!
That smells so good.
I am making Basque chicken.
I thought it would please you
after a day of work.
I'm not a real Basque
but it's my favorite.
If yours is as good as Jojo's
in St-Jean-de-Luz, I'll marry you.
Someone there?
No, it's the iPad app.
Beigbeder's South-West Cuisine.
You're posh.
- You don't like that?
- I love it!
Stuff it with your red bell pepper
that you already stuffed
with one large onion.
Hey, buddy. I can't
talk right now.
I'm at a gala for the homeless
with stars everywhere.
Damn, it's you-know-who.
What's his name?
No, no, no...
It's not him after all.
Lots of pretty girls.
Guess what?
It's in the subway station.
I gotta go.
Lolo's here.
Lolo! Lolo!
Bah, Lolo!
Hou!
I like you to meet Karl.
Jean, my boyfriend.
- Delighted to meet you.
- It's mutual.
- I deeply admire your work.
- Too kind.
I follow all your collections.
They're simply darling.
Daring? Darling?
- Both, hopefully!
- Yes!
Jean just moved to Paris.
Karl, truly,
thank you for coming.
The pleasure's all mine.
Who wouldn't come for you?
Bravo for your N5.
Smells great.
- It was there before me.
- Yes!
It wouldn't have been famous
worldwide without you.
And without
Marilyn Monroe.
Well, Jean...
Karl has other people to talk to.
Sorry, we have a problem.
- Can't it wait?
- No, it's an emergency.
I'll be fine on my own
for 5 minutes.
Did I come off
too uptight with Karl?
Uptight, no.
Look, you were fine.
Go get a drink.
I'll be right back.
- It can't wait 5 minutes?
- No.
Did you pick
that stupid jacket for him?
He chose it himself.
Look after him
while I attend to something.
- So J.R. How are you?
- Lolo!
I waved earlier.
You didn't see me.
Cheers!
To health!
See? Not so scary.
Your mom introduced
me to Karl Lagerfeld.
- Karlito.
- I talked to him.
Really?
Go get a selfie with him.
You think?
Your daughter
will be so impressed.
No, no. I don't dare.
A drink will relax you.
Ha Francesca.
Gotta go.
Yes.
- Sir?
- Oh, why not?
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
Seriously, Violette,
who's that guy you're with?
Look...
I know, he's not very...
- Check this out.
- What?
But no!
- Enough.
- It's gorgeous!
He dick saved my life.
Where's the electrician?
I gotta get back.
They are beautiful.
I'll...
8,000 euros.
Bid accepted.
They're a present
for Violette.
Violette!
Baby!
Sorry. Oh yeah,
that's better.
- It's for my daughter.
- Yes, that's what they all say.
Good evening.
I can't take anymore
I have to go. Where is he?
Thanks.
Hold on,
it's blurred, it's blurred.
Thank a lot, Karl!
- Gimme a hug.
- It's not possible.
Let's go.
Karl...
Karlito!
Jean, you're snoring.
I have a big day tomorrow.
Roll onto the side.
Onto your side.
Oh!
Damn.
Oh!
Excuse me.
- Yes?
- Bad time?
- Well...
I'm not cut out
for relationships.
Jean-Ren is
drunk, snoring.
One of your
magic moments?
I can't sleep.
I tried masturbating,
but I can't focus.
Ah!
Arr...
I think he just puked.
He's puking, you're masturbate.
That's a great rock 'n' roll.
Gotta go.
Ariane!
Bitch.
Violette?
J.R.?
Ha, ha,...
Great start to the weekend.
Want an aspirin?
I am fine.
No more champagne again.
Pretty beach.
Where is it?
It's a shoulder.
Really?
I need a right elbow mold.
Got a moment?
A right elbow mold?
It's a surprise for mom,
for my new exhibit.
Don't tell her.
Will it take much longer?
Last one.
Leave it to dry and we're done.
- Damn.
- Jean?
- What's she doing home?
- Jean? Lolo?
- Hold still.
- What do I...
Sit still and don't say a word.
Okay?
Where is it?
Jean!
Lolo, you're here!
I forgot my notebook
with all my notes in it.
I sent you tons of texts
to ask you to bring it over.
I left it here.
Where it went? I need it.
Sorry, I was busy.
What a nightmare
last night.
- What?
- Jean-Ren!
He made a fool of himself,
he got drunk.
I spoke with
Karl's personal assistant,
I may not get
the next show.
You kidding?
I am furious.
How could I think he would fit in
just because he's nice with a big dick?
Truth is, he's a
Biarritz bumpkin.
Don't exaggerate.
He looked so lame
with his biker jacket,
like Jeanny Hallyday with
his damn cocker spaniel...
The Biarritz bumpkin
says screw you!
Couldn't you tell me
he was here?
- Now it's my fault?
- Jean!
I'm sorry!
You're sorry?
That makes everything okay.
What more
do you want me to say?
No, I'm just an idiot with
a big dick and crappy taste.
- Your son picked out the jacket.
- Keep Lolo out of it.
Of course!
Lolo the untouchable!
What am I?
The chump who waits up
while you party with your hipsters.
- I said you were nice.
- Ah yes!
And "big dick" is a compliment.
Sure, that's great! Who
do you think I am?
And who the hell are you?
A 45-year old
picking up hicks in Biarritz.
I didn't mean that. I know
you're mad, but don't insult me.
What?
"45-year old" is an insult?
I wasn't thinking straight,
I was upset!
I'm in a dumb-ass business
where looks are everything.
They're young, beautiful...
And your
fat ass "fits in"?
Jean.
Her precious notebook.
- Are you hurt?
- Oh, I'm.
Are you hurt?
Yes to literally and figuratively.
Mr. & Mrs. Brave.
The name's Brav with
the accent "".
Well, Mr. Brav.
It's still broken.
It wasn't broken before.
It is broken now?
A fracture of
the right radius.
- Shit.
- Damn.
You were in a cast,
your arm must
has been broken.
No, it wasn't broken.
I was posing for a work of art.
If we put it back in cast,
will you break it again?
It's performance art?
What are you saying?
What does he mean?
- What do you mean?
- It's like a happening!
Thanks for the soup.
I'm not sick. I broke my arm.
I'm okay now,
I'll be fine on my own.
Damn!
Here.
I already knew you are
not good with your left hand.
Go on.
- Ah!
- Stop it.
Don't be silly.
Jean,
it's so depressing here.
Not cheery, but practical.
And a view of the Eiffel Tower.
You got conned.
I know.
Listen...
I never asked anyone this, but
how about moving in with me?
For a while?
You love your
big-dick Biarritz Bumpkin.
And you,
your fat-assed Parisienne.
You left your phone off.
I was worried about you.
- Isn't this a bit early?
- I'm so glad you're back.
Come on in.
I'm in deep shit.
How come?
Why?
I totally messed up.
I asked Jean-Ren
to move in with me.
And?
He's moving in and
I'm freaking out.
Your life is absolutely thrilling.
- Want some coffee?
- No, no. It makes my heart race.
You're neurotic even when
your pussy's getting fed.
Superwoman at work
and goofball in real life.
You could be banging
25-year-old hunks.
Not cripples who stain your carpet
with yesterday's spaghetti.
Get a grip.
You're so right. I'm fed up.
I'm too fat to work in fashion.
Jean's moving in,
Lolo's going nowhere...
Kick him out.
- Who?
- Lolo!
- I can't do that.
- Are you kidding?
Like he gives a shit.
Same as my daughter and me.
They are autistic at that age.
Kick him out. He'll thank you later.
- You think?
All I've got is coffee.
- No green tea?
- No!
See you tomorrow
on the Cartier shoot.
- I can't kick him out.
- Sure you can.
- Ah! Hello! Bonjour!
- Hello.
- Violette.
- Ah! Violette, yes.
I'm Sakis.
Of course.
Nice to meet you.
Coffee and cigarette.
You brought him back?
Inspired by you
and Jean-Ren.
It's easy to
import guys now.
See you tomorrow.
You'll be fine.
Let's hook up,
the 4 of us.
- For dinner, I mean.
- Sure.
It's too soon
for anything else.
- Listen Lolo, we need to...
- Ah!
Er, your notebook was here
all along. You're shambolic.
-You're a mess.
- Thank you.
You're welcome,
mom.
It's partly your fault
Jean broke his arm.
Why'd you plaster him up?
Mother,
it was a surprise for you.
The Keller Gallery is taking
my new exhibit, "Trauma".
The Keller Gallery?
Bravo. I am so proud of you.
Invite Audrey to the opening
and maybe patch things up.
No, with Audrey,
it's dead and buried.
What?
Actually,
right now, I can't
leave Jean on his own.
He forgave all you said?
Yes.
He will move in here for a while
so I can look after him.
How long's a while?
I dunno.
He's giving up his apartment.
It's dusty,
he has allergies.
Are you sure?
With nothing in common,
what'll you talk about?
We do have stuff
in common.
We get on well...
If not enough,
we'll have a kid.
Then we'll really
have something in common.
You're nuts! At your age,
you'll have a mongoloid!
Sometimes I wonder
if you want me to be happy.
Gimme a break.
Look...
It'd be good if you find a place
to paint and sculpt.
It's getting pretty intrusive.
And the stuff you use stink.
Those resins are toxic.
They killed Nikki de Saint-Phalle.
Yeah, you're right.
Lulu's folks have a
room in the attic.
It's empty.
I could make it my studio.
Great.
I can hangout
at his place if you prefer.
Why not?
It's not a bad idea.
Perfect.
I couldn't let you
do it all by yourself.
I feel responsible
for your arm.
Thanks, I appreciate it. Really.
It's no big deal.
I can see my mom's
totally into you.
I'm glad you're
taking it like this.
I wondered how you'd reacted
when she asked you to move out.
Are you kidding?
It was my idea.
You guys need your space
and I need mine.
We're not gonna play
blended families,
like some dumb
American comedy.
You know, Lolo, you're welcome
to drop by whenever you want.
You keep your key and
we keep your room the way it is.
Cool.
Lulu, right?
Nice to meet you.
Take the big one.
Good for you. Cardboard boxes
plus stairs equals cardio workout.
I'll get that.
Just hold the door open.
Are you sure?
We are young.
Thank you.
Thanks.
Thanks for the help.
I mean it.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Gotcha!
You got everything?
Wait... My laptop.
My black bag.
- You left it in the car.
- Really?
On the front seat.
Damn, damn, damn...
Damn, damn, damn.
No, no, no...
Oh, no... no.
Excuse me.
You saw anyone took off
with a black laptop bag?
No.
- Sure?
- I'm sure.
Say I stole it,
why not?
J.R.!
We found your laptop.
Happy now?
An Arab didn't
take your book-bag.
I was only asking.
Don't go
calling in the UN.
This neighborhood
is full of hicks.
Hey! Hick yourself...
- Pardon me?
- No, nothing. No.
- Have a good evening!
- Yes, good evening.
Thank god!
My whole program's in there.
- No backups?
- Yeah, in the bank vault.
But I tweaked this one.
They'll love this.
Cool.
- We gotta go. See you.
- Okay, see you.
Thanks again.
- Here.
- Thanks.
The boys were
a great help.
- Lolo called to say his back hurts.
- Damn.
- I was a bit hard on him the other day.
- He seems fine.
Yeah?
He's having fun
handing out with his buddy.
That's is better than
clinging on to his mommy,
with an Oedipus complex.
He hurt his ribs when you
fell on him, now his back...
He's so fragile.
You keep worrying about him.
I guess so.
- Oh!
- Hm.
I'll miss you. When are you
getting back from Milan?
The day after tomorrow.
A quick trip.
- That's too long.
- I will miss you too.
- Look...
- Hmm.
Whoa! What the hell
is going on?
No, no, no!
Ar.
Hello,
how's my sweetie doing?
What is La Scala like?
If you get done early,
hop on the morning flight.
But I won't be here though.
I have a meeting with
the boss of the bank.
At 8:00 tomorrow morning.
No need to rush.
You can catch the later flight.
- Kisses, mio amore.
- "Amore mio."
"Amore mio." [My love.]
That's what I meant to say.
Kisses.
Good morning Mr. Dutertre.
Morning Mr. Dutertre.
Hmm...
Good morning Mr. Dutertre.
It's a pleasure to meet you.
The pleasure's all mine.
I'm very proud to present to you
my new software
that will connect the entire network
of France Rural Credit.
It has taken almost
20 years of hard work
and you won't be
disappointed.
My simulations
will show you
a 10 to 20 microseconds
of savings per transaction.
A net gain of
millions a day.
Yes, millions of euro a day!
You're welcome.
I am delighted to contribute
to the success of
France Rural Credit
and its shareholders.
What?
A genius? No...
Just passionate about my work.
Please call me
Jean-Ren.
- Calm down. He sleeps.
- Okay.
Where are you from again?
- Slovakia.
- I love Slovak.
My God, you have so many
books. Unbelievable!
Ah yes,
I'm a big reader.
- Aw, so sexy.
- Balzac, Flaubert...
What are we drinking?
But, he never got a chance
to see her again.
So Mareritte went to hell and back.
[ Norwegian: Mareritt means nightmare ]
There is this phrase that
Churchill you probably know.
Or maybe not.
"If you are go through hell,
keep going."
That's his life.
How can someone
have such bad luck?
It is so unfair.
He must be so lonely
after what happened to him.
Yes, he is staying here
because he doesn't
have a place to sleep
even in exactly 8 months,
he'll become the richest
man in France, but...
Until then,
I think all he wants
right now is a friend,
the warms,
the touch...
Just waking up
next to a woman...
or two.
Jean.
Jean-Ren!
Wake up.
What is it?
Who are they!?
Get the hell out!
Violette!
Who are you?
Violette, wait!
Violette, my love!
Hold on, sweetheart. Wait!
Don't touch me!
Marius?
Are you okay?
Marius?
I don't know these people.
Tell Them to leave!
Get dress!
Hold on...
I have no idea how they
got into our bed.
Your perversed hick literature!
Calm down.
And your hick clothes!
Sorry,
we just wanted to be nice.
Wanted to help.
You have
such a tragic life.
Tragic Life?
What did you tell them?
Your brush with death
gave you new perspective.
I've gotten new perspective too!
I don't know them!
Sorry.
We are so sorry.
We didn't want to cause any trouble.
Get out!
- This is ridiculous.
- Yes, ridiculous.
So drunk you forgot
screwing them!
No. Wait, wait, my love.
Wait, wait.
Take your hands
off me!
How can you think I be interested
in two two 20-year old blondes?
Honestly?
Ah!
I see now.
"Take your time.
Catch the later flight."
"I have a super
important meeting at 8."
Oh fuck, 8:20!
I have to go!
I gotta go!
My big meeting's 20 minutes ago.
The meeting of a lifetime.
When I get back,
we'll work out what happened.
Or didn't happen!
Nothing happened!
- Run, you coward!
- I don't know them.
- I love you.
- I don't.
- I don't love you!
- My love!
Violette, I love you.
I'll be back!
What happens?
What the hell are
you doing here?
I lost the keys to Lulu.
We were... I mean I was
a little drunk last night.
What's the deal
with the keys again?
And the 2 chicks
in my bed with Jean?
Two chicks?
No idea!
Oh year,
they were with me.
I brought them home
last night.
Maybe they went to pee
and got our rooms mixed up.
Got the rooms mixed up?
Bullshit!
It's insane,
you're covering for him.
Male comradery's more important
than your mother?
Chill out,
it's no big deal.
you show him Paris,
parties, models. It's new for him.
Put yourself in his shoes.
He's like a kid exploring
a huge toy store.
I don't get it.
I thought he loved me.
Don't be so
melodramatic.
What did you expect?
To grow old together
sitting by the fire?
Yes.
I'm so naive.
I fell for it.
It sucks when you
can't laugh about things.
It hurts me
to see you like this.
I'd love for you to
meet a really nice guy.
It'd change your
shitty life.
Don't answer!
It's me.
Those girls were
your son's doing.
I swear on my life.
I love you.
- Hurry!
- I'm sorry.
- Where were you? Been waiting forever.
- I know. I know.
Sorry,
a slight hiccup.
This is Mr. Dutertre,
COO of France Rural Credit, Europe.
He's here specifically to
inaugurate the new system.
You're very late.
The pleasure's all mine.
I am very proud...
to present to you
my new software
that will connect
FRC's complete trading network.
The computer program,
Mr. Dufour.
You won't be disappointed.
It has taken almost
20 years' of hard work.
According to my simulations...
Simulations.
You'll waste 10...
Save!
You'll save...
20-10...
10-20 milliseconds
per transaction.
My pleasure!
The gain in speed adds up
to millions per euro
Adds up to millions of euros
per day... of euros.
Millions of euros per day.
I'm very happy
to contribute to the success
of the Rural Credit
and its stock holders.
Rural, rural people.
What the...
This is not possible.
A small glitch,
nothing serious.
- It's not possible!
- Crashed.
Shut it off.
Reboot the computer.
- "Eat my shit you capitalist pig"
- Is this a joke?
- Hey! Dispatch?
- What the hell?
Shut it down,
stop trading!
It's a virus!
Are you sure?
You must be joking.
Call IT!
Implement the emergency protocol
right away.
Dufour,
what's going on?
- Stop him!
- He's the culprit!
Stop him!
Ariane, pickup!
What are you doing?
Shagging again?
Ever since you met your Greek,
you've been ignoring me.
It's horrible. I found Jean-Ren
with 2 hookers in my bed!
I'm going to the pharmacy
for anti-depressants,
tranquilizers... the work!
Call me back.
"Itching Powder"
My alarm clock!
What the hell!
Shit!
"Renaud"
Jean-Ren.
Oh! The bastard!
Hm, Dumbo...
Poison.
He is sick.
This is Violette.
Leave a message after the beep.
Violette, I have proof.
It was your son all along.
He's in the shower.
I'm in his room with his journal.
He wants me dead.
He planned to poison me with polonium.
The itching powder
was his doing.
He drugged me
at the charity gala.
The girls, that was him.
It's all him.
He gave me a D,
then a C, then a B!
It drove him nuts
that we are falling in love.
He's destroying my life.
He installed a virus
into my computer program.
I'm gonna kill him!
Gonna kill me?
How will that fix you with
my mother and your work?
Itching powder?
How old are you?
Itching powder
is timeless.
I feel your pain and
I can offer you a deal.
Me too!
My painting!
My painting, fuck!
My painting!
Say sorry
and I'll let go!
Apologize!
Mommy's little Lolo!
I'll let go!
- Say sorry!
- Let me up, asshole!
- Say sorry!
- Never! Screw you!
- Let go of me!
- Sure.
Jean-Ren Brave,
with a misleading name
was arrested for willful
destruction of property and assault,
Jean-Ren Brave
the author of
the computer virus
"Eat my shit,
you capitalist pig",
which translates as,
"Mange ma merde,
cochon de capitaliste".
The virus shuts down
France Rural Credit,
one of the country's
biggest bank.
Jean seems to be
a cyber terrorist
who infiltrated banking circles
posing as a nice,
or rather,
a 'brave' software developer.
As usual in cases like this,
the media has overreacted.
We ruled out Chinese
or Russian cyber terrorism...
Damn.
He's famous.
Thanks to me.
I wanted to thank
all our customers...
Except that
he's now in jail.
I'm not connected to
cyber terrorists.
My computer
was hacked into.
What proof do you have?
Can you get the system
up and running again?
Give me 48 hours,
system administrator password
and a computer connected
to Rural Credit. Please.
Patrick.
The doc's here
for his plaster.
Oh fuck!
Which hacker group
are you with?
Any link to
Assange or Snowden?
I am a computer programmer.
I'm not posing as anyone.
You working for
a Chinese bank?
- Who then?
- Nobody.
Please, Mr. Brave,
what is the virus?
What is this loser doing here?
- Motherfucker!
- Bastard!
Psychosis paranoid.
He blames everything on Lolo.
Just think,
a cyber terrorist!
He was in deep cover
and you ate it all up.
Ur...
Lolo stormed out,
saying I only bring nuts home.
He doesn't feels safer
here anymore.
Why did they both
go off the rails?
I guess you just
never got lucky.
No.
I didn't tell you,
Lolo caught J.R.'s elbow in the ribs
and they have been hurting ever since.
He finally told me today that
he has a bruised pancreas
and could degenerate
into cancer...
of the pancreas.
We're back up.
You did it!
It works!
Bed.
Jean! Jean!
He's often in Athens,
so I have time on my hands,
but I want to be with him
all the time.
I'm falling
completely in love.
It's so enlightening.
For example,
did you know clitoris means
"tiny penis" in Greek?
"Clitoridia".
Pretty, isn't it?
Whenever I mention Sakis,
you clam up.
- It's not that, it's just...
- Why don't you call him?
Like all the others,
he literally disappeared.
He changed his number,
won't reply to emails...
My niece is his daughter's best friend.
She must know where he is.
- Not a good idea.
- Lolo is back with Audrey?
Apparently,
but he's still living at home.
Hey, Violet.
Hi, Annabelle.
Mom.
How's it going, sweetie?
Quit asking.
You are so nosey.
I fucking hate her.
Let's go.
I always felt
compelled to express my pain
in my works. It's raw and direct.
It all began with
an accidental wound to my ribs.
- A wound?
- Yes.
The weapon was an elbow.
What inspires you?
Life.
My life.
My project is an
"auto-bio-graphic"
nurtured within me
since I was a boy.
That's fascinating.
Yes.
Totally..
The Umbrellas of Death.
It's a real sicko that Lolo.
No kidding. Maybe
even worse than you.
I'm not in his league.
He's a full-on psycho.
Meaning?
Go on, spit it out.
What's in it for me?
I cancel your debt.
- Okay?
- Not bad.
My sister texted me his number.
I'll forward it to you.
- Forget it.
- Too late.
Violette,
we need to talk.
Come.
When Jean-Ren said
everything was down to Lolo...
- What if it's true?
- Are you nuts?
They guy who flipped
on you 10 years ago...
- Didn't he blame Lolo?
- Bertrand?
And Ludo?
And Gary?
Gary?
Lolo was 7!
Lolo didn't make him fled to Thailand
without leaving an address.
And the guy you dumped
over the cashmere sweaters?
- Lolo, where are you? Let's go.
- Yes Mom, coming.
Not possible.
You said Mathieu
was a bad father
for making Lolo wait hours
outside the school.
Hours.
Know what Annabelle told me?
Lolo used to hide.
- What?
- Lolo used to hide.
He even told Annabelle
back then,
"That way mom will yell at dad,
and then he'll leave."
This is Violette.
Calling to see
how you're doing.
Fine. Better.
Good to hear that.
I though I'd drop by
Biarritz in a few days.
I hear it's lovely
in winter.
Not bad.
But I prefer winter in London.
London?
Hey.
What's with the case?
If you won't leave,
I will.
I'll wire you 3,000.
Then you're on your own.
You what?
You're on your own now.
I'm leaving.
You're losing it.
Chill.
Not losing it,
leaving.
Where?
How long?
It's none of your business.
Are you having your period?
No, just fed up!
Calm down, relax.
You're so tense.
Let me go.
What's up?
We were getting on fine.
You want me to leave?
You go. I find someone.
You reappear, wreck everything.
What are you talking about?
Don't blame me for
your crackpots.
I read your journal.
My journal?
You drove them
all insane.
Ah, my journal!
Wait, wait, wait.
That's conceptual.
For my next project
"Fiction-bio-graphic".
Oh.
It's all made up.
Not buying it.
It's your fault
I keep getting dumped.
No, half of them
couldn't take your shit.
- Thanks.
- Who is it now?
Another loser
I'll have to scare off.
What's wrong with you?
Jean is right.
Jean-Ren?
You're running to J.R.?
He tried to kill me!
He's a mental case!
A perverse!
Narcissist! Sociopath!
He'll chop you up and eat you!
Is that what you want?
You're leaving me for him?
I'm not leave you.
I'm cutting the cord.
Too easy, mom.
Walking out on me
after tying me down for so long.
Don't you remember?
Telling me every night
I was the love of your life.
You're my son, that's what
mommies tell their little boys.
I believed it.
I believed, Mom.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have.
No.
Look...
Listen to me.
We start over.
I messed up, I was immature.
I won't do it again.
I behaved like a kid.
I know I hurt you.
But I'm a changed man.
More mature, since October.
I'll move across town.
We'll meet now and then,
Sunday maybe.
I'll go see a shrink.
Done. The cord is cut.
I feel so cool.
I'll go then.
Are you really going to
leave me alone, mama?
When I'm not well.
Suffering.
If you go,
I'll kill myself.
Mom,
my eggs and toast.
- Hey.
- Hm.
You're moving to London?
No, just 3 days.
- Only 3 days?
- Yes
Pity.
Let's get a taxi,
drop your suitcase off.
When they saw me cracked
the virus in less than 48 hours,
they hired me on the spot.
From a hospital bed to the City.
Look at you.
In a few months,
the naive peasant
I fell in love with has gone.
- You kept making fun of me.
- I was really cute.
Now you're swimming with the sharks,
I'm not sure we have a future.
Cut it out. I'm still the same guy.
See?
You haven't given a penny
to any of the homeless guy so far.
I didn't see them.
- Hold on, call of nature.
- Call of the wild!
- I need to pee.
- Hold on.
- You know where it is?
- Yes.
This place is huge.
Hello...
Sabine,
stop running around
half-naked.
She has a key just in case.
Must've had a party nearby.
Of course.
Sabine,
tell me when you're
staying over.
Yeah, yeah.
[Sabine is Jean's daughter]
Plum Nuts
Etta James
Plum, plum, plum, plum.
You know I plum nuts over you.
Well I told everybody
in the neighbourhood.
How much I love you.
You didn't mean,
mean all good.
You take all my money,
stay out all night long.
Need a whisper
to make you stay at home.
Because I plum, plum, plum, plum.
You know I plum nuts over you.
Yeah You're going around here
trying to play it cool.
And I always talking about
the golden rule.
I maybe crazy
but I went to school.
Yeah all my friends say
I'm a great big fool.
Because I plum, plum, plum, plum.
You know I plum nuts over you.
You're lying,
tell me I'm the only one in the world.
And I'd know you running around
with those all of girls.
You ain't nothing
but a circus clown.
You can't bleed me baby
I'm gonna put you down.
I told everybody
in the neighbourhood.
How much I love you.
You didn't mean,
mean all good.
You take all my money,
stay out all night long.
I need a whisper
to make you stay at home.
Because I plum, plum, plum, plum.
You know I plum nuts over you.
You're lying,
tell me I'm the only one in the world.
And I'd know you run around
with those all of girls.
You ain't nothing
but a circus clown.
You can't bleed me baby
I'm gonna put you down.
You're going around here
trying to play it cool.
And I always talking about
the golden rule.
And I maybe crazy
but I went to school.
All of my friends say
I'm a great big fool.
Because I plum, plum, plum, plum.
You know I plum nuts over you.
Yeah plum, plum, plum, plum.
You know I plum nuts over you.