London (2005) Movie Script
Tell me when you're gonna come.
-Are you coming? You're coming?|-Yeah.
Hello.
Hey, bro, what's up?
l'm crashed out.
What are you doing?
What party?|What are you talking about?
Are you fucking kidding me?
Are you fucking kidding me?
Where?
Fuck!
Fuck!
The number you have reached has|been disconnected. If you feel you--
No fucking way!
Where's the phone? Payphone.
Straight to the back,|past the bathrooms, on the left.
Hey, Mallory.
Oh, hey, Syd, what's up?
You gonna go|to Becca's thing tonight?
Yeah, you know, l was gonna go|and say goodbye.
Why, you going?
Yeah, l think so.|Thinking about it. Yeah.
So you still talk to London?
Yeah, you know,|here and there. Why?
Oh, you know, l was just a little|surprised to hear she was moving.
Did she get a place out there?|ls she staying with somebody?
She didn't tell you where|she was staying? Come on, Mal.
l mean, she said something|about moving in with her boyfriend...
...or something, but, l mean,|that's pretty much all l know.
-Can l get you a drink?|-Yeah.
Can l have a vodka? A large one.
Naked, please.
Excuse me. One second here.
Here you go.
Thanks. Hey, look, l didn't--|l didn't mean to be rude.
lt's okay.
-Hey, Syd, l gotta go cash out, so....|-Yeah.
-See you tonight.|-Yeah.
Listen, l'm gonna get a bit of sniff,|so if you want some, just let me know.
-Oh, really?|-Yeah.
How much is it?
Oh, no, don't worry. Just find me.
Don't tell London.|You know she hates that shit.
Yeah, like l'm gonna say something.
-All right, well, see you later.|-Yeah, l'll see you.
Your name wouldn't happen|to be Bateman, would it?
-Unfortunately, yes.|-Hey. Syd.
Nice to meet you.|Thank you for coming down.
l know you don't deliver this far down.|l just had a shitty day.
l have to clear my head out.
No worries, mate.
So where do you wanna do this?
We don't want to go in the bathroom.|lt's horrendous in there.
l drove. You wanna use my car?
Your car? Why not?
So how is this shit? lt's pretty good?
Can't say l've sampled|any of this batch...
...but considering the source,|l imagine it to be pretty clean, yeah.
So is this like a full-time gig for you?|A full-time job?
No, mate, l'm a banker.
Foreign exchange dealer.|Currency trader.
-Currency trader?|-Euros, pounds, arbitrage, yeah.
Okay, so you're not a dealer.
Mate, l ain't a fucking dealer.
Strictly a buyer.
l was uptown, you were on my way.|lt's just a favor.
Gotcha. Well, whatever it is,|l really appreciate it, man.
Here we go.
So a currency trader, huh?
How's the money in that, good?
Not if you get stuck on this shit, no.
Yeah, l know.|God, what a stupid fucking drug.
l don't know what you're doing after|this, if you got plans or anything...
...but a friend is having a party two|blocks from here, if you're interested.
No, thanks, mate,|but l've had a shit day, believe me.
l just figured, you know,|you came down this whole way.
lt'll probably be pretty good.
What kind of party is it, exactly?
Actually, it's a....
lt's a going-away party for this girl,|for my ex-chick.
But it'll be good, you know,|free booze, free food, hot chicks.
l really shouldn't. Thanks anyway.|l appreciate the offer.
Fuck it, Syd. l'm gonna go.|Take it easy.
Why are you gonna go?|Don't go. You just got here.
You walked all the way down here.|Why leave?
Because l've had a horrendous day.
l've decided not to go because l don't|want to meet a loft full of strangers.
-You enjoy yourself.|-Come in for five minutes.
-Get a drink.|-No, man. You go, fuck it.
What do you got|that's better than this?
Girls, free booze, do a line.
l've just come out of the most|psychotic therapy session...
...l've had in fucking years.|Almost smacked some cunt for a taxi.
l really don't know|if l'm ready for this shit.
Just come in for five minutes.|You don't like it, you can leave.
One fucking drink, bro.
Mallory will be here.
One drink?
One fucking drink.
-How you doing, man?|-Evening.
-What is it, 501 1 ?|-Yes.
Thanks, man.
-Hey, Maya.|-Hi, Syd.
-How you doing?|-Good.
-lt's been a while.|-Yeah. How you doing?
l'm good.|Bateman, this is Maya. Sorry.
-Maya, Bateman.|-Nice to meet you.
How you been?|What you been up to?
ln hell, man. l fucked up on the SATs,|l gotta retake them.
-That's it, you know?|-Right.
Just wanna kill myself. Yeah.
Well, you know, if you want to get out|of SAT mode, l picked up a lot of:
-You know, so....|-Are you dealing now?
Yes, l'm dealing. No, l'm not dealing.|l got more than l need, so if you're....
-All right, man, thanks.|-Just come find me.
-l might take you up on that.|-Did anybody--?
Coming.
-Hello.|-Hello.
-Hey, baby.|-How are you?
-l'm good. Hey, Syd, how are you?|-This, my darling, is for you.
Oh, you guys, shut up. Thank you.
-You know you are the best.|-Nobody's here yet.
Grab a drink.|Make yourself at home.
Hello? Syd and London.
-Don't disrespect them in public.|-ln public.
Let's go upstairs.
Why? Who's upstairs?
Very bad. Catch me.
You're crazy.
What is this?
lt's for you.
-For me? For me?|-For you.
Oh, my God, Syd, l love it.
Thank you.
l love you.
l love you.
Come on, ''l love you too, London,''|you fucker.
You can say it.|l'm not gonna tell anybody.
-London, don't.|-What? What am l doing?
-This.|-What am l doing wrong?
Whatever this is, this obsession|to put a verbal label on everything.
-lt's not about words.|-No, it is about words.
Because if we didn't have words,|we'd be living in caves...
-...and still talking with our hands.|-Stop.
We haven't even|come close to a fight.
lf we can avoid that first fight,|by theory we'll never fight.
Okay? Please.
lt's been so perfect till now.|Don't do this.
lt's been perfect for you. For you.
London.
Coming.
Wait a minute,|someone's at the door.
-Hello.|-Hi.
Wow, you look beautiful.
You look hot.|Nice hat, nice boots.
Thanks.
-Hey.|-Hey, Becca.
-Rebecca.|-Bateman. Friend of Syd's.
-Nice to meet you.|-Nobody's here yet, guys.
So just come on in|and make yourself at home.
Okay, so you're not gonna believe|who's just fucking shown up.
Great party, mate.
Oh, it'll be better. lt'll be better.|Trust me. l promise you.
Okay, l've gotta go.
Please tell me|you did not bring Syd here.
Oh, my God, l just rode up|in the elevator with him.
-Why? He's not invited?|-He's so not invited.
He's fucking touching|my Buddha's head.
Hey, London, it's me.
Give me a call as soon|as you get this, okay? Okay, bye.
Fuck it.
Hey, Syd. Do us a favor, yeah?|Don't touch the Buddha.
Okay?
He's a fucking cocksucker.
Where did you get your hat?
lt's so cute on you.
He's fucked.
To show up at someone's party.|He isn't even fucking invited.
Did they just go upstairs?
Right. Nice. Nice of them to ask.
Wait, l'm confused, did you say|you do believe in God or you don't?
''God'' might not be|the appropriate word for it, actually.
lt's more of an epiphany.
Epiphany?|What was your epiphany?
Well, for me, an epiphany|is when you really see the universe...
...in all it's splendor and beauty...
...and you suddenly|understand everything.
-What does that mean?|-Fucking everything.
Everything you can imagine. You don't|know what ''everything'' means?
l know what it means. l don't know|what you mean by ''everything.''
lt means everything, doesn't it?|You know, everything.
-So, what's your problem?|-For someone who's seen the infinite...
...you're vague. You'd think|with someone who's had a revelation...
-...you'd be more specific.|-lt's not about specifics.
lt's an energy that hits you between|the eyes and you're enlightened.
-You see everything?|-You don't see everything.
You see nothing.|But you understand everything.
And you know what|got me the most?
-ls that l understood time horizons.|-What's a time horizon?
lt's like this. l understood|where l stood in relation...
...to where the Romans and the Jews|were 2000 years ago...
...and why l was here now.
Then l felt this enormous|compassion...
...for the struggle of the human race|and what it had to go through for us.
You know, for life as we know it|to come to this point.
lt's truly remarkable, but at the same|time, it's utterly fucking disturbing.
l mean, we're the same people|that were living in Roman times...
...throwing boiling oil on each other|and crucifying Christians.
Not that that's entirely a bad thing.
Hey, Syd, are you in there?|lt's Maya.
Oh, fuck! Fuck me.
-Fuck, fuck. Give me one second.|-What the fuck have you done?
-Sorry. Fuck.|-You clumsy bastard.
-What have you fucking done?|-Shit.
Look at that.
lt's covered in fucking beer.
-Fuck.|-Oh, my God.
What are you gonna do?
-Goddamn it, Syd.|-lnstant karma.
-l got it.|-That's enough to give up blasphemy.
-Get up here.|-No, we can totally save this.
What are you gonna do,|eat food off the floor?
-Fucking gross.|-Do me a favor.
-God fucking damn it.|-God, is this it?
-Yes.|-Are you kidding?
-No, it's my fucking fault too.|-Just snort it off the floor.
You don't wanna do that. l shouldn't|have put it by the fucking sink.
What are you doing?
-What's that?|-As l said, all is not lost.
-Bateman, Jesus Christ.|-Oh, my God, you fucking rock.
-Do you know this painting?|-No.
lt's Van Gogh's|Wheatfield with Crows.
The most significant painting|the man's ever painted.
-Oh, well, then.|-Fuck, it's true.
That'll do for starters, won't it?
Look, this is the last painting|the man did before he killed himself.
lt's his suicide note. He even put|his left ear in the fucking clouds.
There is his mutilated left ear.
Can you see it? Not everyone sees it,|of course, but there it is.
He mutilated his left ear|and put it in the fucking painting.
What does that mean?
Maya, l'm curious.|Do you believe in God?
You guys have been doing|too many drugs.
Answer the question. Yes or no?
God, that's a really long|conversation...
...but l will tell you something l read|the other day that freaked me out.
l don't remember where it was.
lt was like Russia or Germany|or one of these places...
...but these scientists,|they took this pregnant rabbit...
...and they hooked up to,|like, a heart monitor and an EE G...
...which sensors your brain waves.
And, like, the second after she gives|birth, they take these babies...
...and they jump in a van|and they start shooting them...
...one by one in the back of the head|with, like, a .22 rifle.
From, like one mile away:
Five miles away:|Twenty miles away--
Don't tell me people are|killing little bunny rabbits.
What's so interesting|is that every time they'd shoot...
...one of these poor babies|in the back of the head...
...the mother's heartbeat|and brain waves would go crazy.
So l'm just saying there's,|you know, shit like that, and then--
The mother knew the babies|were getting shot--
Yes. Every fucking time. Exactly.
l mean, there's all that stuff, you know,|like those weird identical twins, right?
One of the brothers is|walking down the street...
...gets stabbed|by some serial killer.
Wait. So he gets stabbed, right?
And then 900 miles away,|at the exact same time...
...his twin brother falls down.
Weird, it's very weird, yes.
Do you want to let me finish|what l'm saying?
-Please, please, finish.|-Okay, he falls down.
Gets hospitalized|due to heart palpitations...
...at the same time|his brother was stabbed.
-Why are you shaking your head?|-You sound like London.
-lt's coincidence.|-How is it a coincidence?
l've had this conversation before.|l'm not having it here.
Well, then, let's not. Then don't|ask me about God, okay, Syd?
Hey, is London here yet?
No, l don't think so.
Did you meet her boyfriend?
Yeah, a couple of times. He's nice.
ls he, like, an attractive guy?|ls he good-looking?
Are you asking me|if he's an attractive guy?
l guess.
You guess?|What do you mean, you guess?
l mean, l guess.
All right, so l'm curious. Do you think|he's more or less attractive than me?
Syd, l don't know.
Well, you do know.|You just aren't telling me.
l don't know, Syd. You guys just--|You have totally different looks.
All right, yes.|We have very different looks.
But whose do you like more?|His or mine?
This is stupid, Syd.
Okay, fine.
l guess, on some level,|l find him attractive.
That doesn't mean that l find him...
...any more or less attractive|than l find you.
Okay?
l won't lie to you.|Just because we're going out...
...doesn't mean l'm gonna,|you know...
...suddenly not be attracted|to the opposite sex.
He's a friend|who happens to be attractive.
lt was one lunch.|Why are you freaking out?
You don't see me going to lunch|with a bunch of attractive people.
Okay. First of all,|it was one guy, not a bunch.
And it's really not my problem that|you don't have female friends, is it?
Because no one's stopping you|from having female friends.
l love this, by the way.
-So for the sake of conversation....|-Syd.
-Let's just pretend you and l...|-Please, can we just drop it?
...don't know each other.|Just listen to me.
Let's pretend for five minutes|you don't know me, l don't know you.
Me and what's-his-name|are in the room.
-Who do you pick?|-l do know you, Syd.
Remove that from the equation.
-You can't.|-Gun to your head. Who do you pick?
l would pick you.|l would pick you in any equation.
Are you all right in there?
Everything is fine. Thank you.
Syd, literally, this has got to be one|of the most insane conversations...
...l've ever had with you.
l don't want to fuck him. l don't.
-Fuck him?|-lt was one lunch.
Who said anything|about fucking him?
-l didn't say fucking, l said attracted.|-That's what you meant.
-lt's not.|-Please keep your voice down.
l meant attracted, you said fuck.
Can you just fucking|shut the fuck up?
What do you want?
l want you to answer|the fucking question.
Syd, you're a cute guy. You are.|You really, really are, but l don't know.
He has this angular, sexy,|Diesel-ad thing going on.
But l don't even know him.
-So maybe he's an asshole.|-You know what?
Fuck you, Maya. lf you were my friend,|you would've lied.
Syd. Syd, you are at|her going-away party.
lf you don't calm down,|you'll drive me...
...and you, and everyone else,|and her at this fucking party crazy.
Just say goodbye and let her go,|because she's gone.
She's gone, man.
Line, anyone?
No. No, thank you.|But do you have a cigarette?
l'm sorry.
Light. l'm sorry.
All right, all right, you know what?|l'm gonna go.
-Are you leaving?|-Thank you. Thank you for everything.
-Really.|-Listen, do me a favor.
Don't tell London l'm doing blow|in here. That'll really screw me.
You know, Syd, yeah,|you know, l'll try to remember that.
Maya, l'm serious. Please?
Hey, please tell me you're not doing|coke in my parents' bathroom.
-What?|-l saw you go upstairs.
-Where did you go?|-To the bathroom.
Swear to God, you're not doing coke|in my parents' house.
Oh, my God, l swear to God...
...l'm not doing coke|in your parents' house.
Okay, l'm sorry, darling.
All right.|Have a good time. l'm sorry.
How long were you two together?
Who? Me and London?|Two and a half years.
-You split when?|-Six months and a few days ago.
You're counting, Syd.|Not a good sign, mate.
Why? Why do you say that?
Joking.|l mean, what's the girl's name?
-Maya. Can l have one of those?|-Maya.
Maya.
l'd do some terrible things to her.
She's like an X-rated Barbie doll.
-How old is she?|-l don't know, like 1 6, 1 7.
Seventeen?
-Now l really wanna fuck her.|-You'd fuck a 1 7-year-old?
What, you wouldn't?
lf it's not against the law,|what's the problem?
You can fuck a 1 5-year-old|in France.
Does that make them|all pedophiles?
Right situation, right country,|you'd fuck one too, believe you me.
Right, right. lnternational waters,|deserted island, shit can happen.
But if any of my female friends|knew l fucked a 1 7-year-old...
-...they'd lose it.|-What's the matter with you?
lf we told women a tenth of|the things we think and do...
...do you think we'd ever get laid?
-Like when l asked a girl to piss on me.|-To piss on you?
Yes, mate, but l was on|a horrible amount of X at the time.
Did she piss on you?
Actually, no...
...she pissed in my mouth.
She pissed in your mouth?
lt was not a pleasant experience,|believe me.
How the fuck does that happen?
What is the conversation that leads to|a girl having to piss in your mouth?
lt was a fucking mistress.
-You paid an S & M chick?|-Many times.
''Many times.''
Listen, it's an expensive hobby,|both mentally and financially.
So, what's the deal?|How does it work?
l don't know if l want|to go there, you know?
Come on, explain it. No one cares.|Did you get your shit wet? Me too.
lt's my fucking Savile Row suit.|lt's fucking 5 G's.
l've kept it out of the rain all day.|Look at the state of it.
Look, l don't wanna go there.|All right, Syd?
Come on. l'm not gonna tell.
-Why the fuck do you wanna know?|-How does it work?
-You just go over there?|-Look at you, you fucking dirtbag.
-You brought it up.|-You wanna go there...
...you fucking go there. Leave my|fucking demons to myself, mate.
-Where is it?|-Tribeca, you cunt.
Explain it. How does it work?|You just walk over?
Look, you phone from downstairs...
...and magically they let you in|through these enormous iron gates.
You get all excited.
You get all wrapped up.|You can't wait to get in there.
The whole thought of it just|gets amongst your fucking veins.
You're into it, you know?
All of a sudden,|they give you a form.
It's a five-page disclaimer|in fucking triplicate.
And you're like, ''Hold on.|What is this? Paperwork?
l've come here|to get my dick sucked.
l didn't come here to sign forms.''|lt's hilarious.
You don't pay them,|you give them a fucking donation.
l mean, that is so American, isn't it?|Come on.
And then they give you a list and|a little pencil, like in the sushi bar.
You start checking off the|requirements. Whipping, spanking--
Come on, you fucking dirty|shit-cunt whore. Fucking whip me!
--nipple clamps, coprophilia.
-What's coprophilia?|-When they shit on you.
Shit in your mouth.
You can have it in the mouth|or you can have it over a glass table.
Can you imagine? They fucking|wheel out a glass table and they just...
...shit all over it,|and you're just like:
''You dirty bitch!''
Who the fuck|asks for that fucking misery?
l hope not you.
Yeah, what about me?
Anyway, you know, there's a lot--|l mean, the list is long, mate.
-lnfantilism, you've got--|-What's infantilism?
They make you a baby,|give you a bottle.
Put you in diapers, nurse you,|turn you into an infant.
l mean, it's the sickest,|most twisted place you'll ever go.
l mean, they claw your balls.
They'll tie your cock up|with a shoelace...
...stick truncheons up your ass.|lt's twisted. lt's fucking twisted.
But l'm telling you,|the moment you come....
The moment you come,|you are so sober.
I mean, so fucking sober.
You're like, ''What have I just done?|What the fuck have I just done?
I've just paid $2 7 5|for some stranger...
...some chick I don't even know,|to, like, whip me...
...and piss on my head. ''
So where's the upside?|Why do you do it? l don't get it.
Well, on a physical level,|it can be rather pleasurable.
Psychologically-- This is without|getting too deep here.
--l think it has a lot to do|with pain and self-flagellation...
...both literally and metaphorically.
l mean, l don't know whether|it's the culture or what...
...but the English, in general,|are very into pain and spanking.
The English? Really?
Yeah, you're always reading|some story in the papers...
...about some judge or vicar|bent over a hooker's knee.
l didn't know the English|were so fucked up.
Mate, the English are very...
...l mean, very fucked up.
Yeah, one sec.
Sweating like a fucking rapist.
Syd.
Come and have a look at the view.
Yeah. lt's Mallory,|the girl from the bar. l'll hook you up.
-Come back in.|-Who?
Mallory. The girl from the bar.
-She's hot. l'll hook you up.|-No, no, mate, no.
l'm too-- l'm wanked, mate.|l can't be fucking with girls.
So what? So am l.
l've been drinking this piss.|No, l can't, fuck it.
-l can't operate like this.|-Who cares?
-l'm fucking dizzy.|-She'll be in and out.
You help yourself to that,|l'm gonna leave.
-lt's been a fucking pleasure.|-Don't leave.
Please don't fucking leave.|Go get a drink, come back.
-No, mate, no.|-Bateman, one fucking drink.
Come right back.|Work Mallory, she's hot.
Fuck you. A drink of what?|What do you want?
Anything. A bottle.|Jack, tequila, whiskey.
You're staying, though, right?
-One fucking drink.|-One fucking drink.
Fine, fine, just don't go anywhere.|You'll fucking thank me.
l haven't had a bump|in like three hours.
Bateman, this is my friend Mallory.
Mallory, this is Bateman.
Hey.
You're the guy from the bar, right?
Mallory, yeah?
Bateman.
Nice to meet you.
-Sorry.|-Excuse me.
-What a clumsy idiot.|-Sorry.
Well, how do you guys|know each other?
A friend of a friend.
What friend?
l don't know, Mallory.|What's with the 20 Questions? Fuck.
Just asking. So, what,|are you leaving or something?
l'm just gonna grab us a drink|and then...
...l'm coming back.|Do you want one?
Sure, l'll have another one.
-l'll see you in a minute.|-Good.
l'll see you in a minute, Syd.
Damn, kid.
So how do you know that guy?
He got this blow. He's not|a dealer, he just knew the guy.
-Oh, yeah?|-Yeah. Good guy, right?
-Yeah.|-Hey, you don't know if London's here.
Yeah, she got here like a minute ago.
What'd she say?|Does she know l'm here?
No. She didn't say anything.
l can't believe she's leaving tomorrow.|That's just so fucked up to me.
Well, instead of staying here all night,|why don't you go out and talk to her.
-l'm sure she'd love to talk to you.|-l doubt that.
Why wouldn't she wanna talk to you?|You guys in a fight?
A fight? Mallory, she hasn't|called me in two months.
l wasn't invited tonight.|Don't you think it's odd...
...she wouldn't tell me she's moving|across the fucking country?
-She didn't call you?|-No.
-That's fucked up.|-Didn't even leave a message.
-l know that girl better than anybody.|-When's the last time you talked?
-l don't know, two months.|-Really?
-l'm sure she was gonna call you.|-When? l just checked my messages.
-ls she gonna call me from LAX?|-Dude, l don't fucking know. Man.
Fucked up!
Hey, Syd, can l ask you|something personal?
What?
Well....
lt's probably-- l don't know if it's true,|that's obviously why l'm asking...
...and since we're cool and all,|l just figured-- l'm kind of concerned.
But l-- Anyway, l kind of heard that--
-What? Something about London?|-l heard-- lt's probably bullshit.
-But l heard you--|-What, Mallory? Spit it out. Fuck.
Dude, l kind of heard that|you tried to kill yourself.
-What? Who told you that? London?|-No, it wasn't London.
-Who told you that? Who?|-Dude, l don't know.
l don't even remember.
London's the only person|that knew about that.
So any way you heard it,|it's pretty fucked up.
-So, what? lt's not true?|-No, it's not fucking true.
Dude, l don't get it.|What the fuck happened then?
You tell me what you heard happened,|then l'll tell you what really happened.
Just after this bump. Hold up.
All right. Okay.
l heard that, like, you guys had a fight|or something, and you broke out...
...she drove to your place,|found you unconscious...
...next to some sleeping pills, and you|had to get your stomach pumped.
Okay, now do you wanna know|what really happened?
Yeah. l mean, that's why l asked.
-You know my dog, Toker?|-Yeah.
-Yes, well, he's epileptic.|-Okay.
-So the vet prescribed phenobarbital.|-Pheno--? What the fuck is that?
They're barbiturates.|They're downers, for his fits.
Wait a minute. Your dog has epilepsy|and got prescribed--?
Let me finish. Anyway...
...it was our two-year anniversary|and she thought l'd forget.
-So--|-Syd, you always forget. Always.
Oh, fuck.
-l feel like such a bitch.|-Well, you are a bitch.
Open it.
-Open it.|-Okay.
Oh, my God.
This is so gorgeous. How did|you know l wanted this dress?
l saw you drooling all over it|last time we were at Valentino.
l love it!
Oh, it's so beautiful.
Thank you so much, baby.
There's more.
-What is that?|-lt's a basketball.
What--? Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Hi, little guy. Hi, little guy.
Oh, baby.
-l love you so much.|-l love you.
Look at him.|l can't believe you did this. l--
Thank you. Okay. Okay.
Hello?
Hey. Can l just call you back?
No, l'm just|in the middle of something.
All right, bye.
-Who was that?|-lt was Mallory.
Look at his paws.
-What? What is it? What's wrong?|-l heard a guy's voice on the phone.
What? Are you fucking crazy?|That was Mallory.
You swear to God?
Yes, l swear to God.
lf you don't fucking believe me,|go ahead and call her.
Syd. Are you really gonna|fucking call her?
Yeah, is Mallory there?
This is London's boyfriend.|Who the fuck is this?
London, what the fuck is this?|Who was that? Why did you lie?
-Let me just explain.|-You better fucking explain.
What? Why did you lie?|Are you cheating on me?
No, no. Listen.
l was really fucked up.|l was out with the girls.
-Fucking perfect.|-Are you gonna let me explain?
Yes, yes, you better|fucking explain, London.
Okay, the clubs were closing, we went|back to Becca's boyfriend's loft.
l fucking passed out.|l wake up the next morning...
...and the guy-- There was someone|lying in bed next to me.
Then he didn't try anything?
You're fucked up in his bed,|he didn't try anything.
l find that hard to believe.|And don't fucking lie to me.
lf you fucking lie to me,|l'm walking out the fucking door.
He tried to kiss me. But there was|nothing because l pushed him away.
-lt was not a big deal--|-Define ''tried.''
l wanna know|every single fucking detail.
Were you on or under the covers?|Was his hand on your tit?
No, Syd. He tries to kiss me|and l pushed him away.
-You pushed him away?|-Yes. l walked outside.
Mallory called me a cab,|and l went home.
lf you went home,|why is he calling you?
-How does he have your number?|-l don't know.
Maybe Becca's boyfriend|gave him the number.
But l definitely didn't give it to him.
Nothing happened. l swear to God.|Don't you fucking believe me? Please.
l don't know what to believe.
You swore that was|Mallory on the phone...
...and it wasn't.|So, what the fuck?
We've dated for two years. l believed|everything you said until now.
Now l don't know|what the fuck to believe.
lt's like your words are meaningless.
l just don't trust you anymore,|London.
l made a mistake.|l made a fucking huge mistake.
-l'm sorry.|-lf it was one fucking mistake...
...why did you say|you were gonna call back?
Why would you tell a guy|who you don't know...
...whose number you don't have,|you're gonna call him back?
What the fuck is that?
So l took a couple|of Toker's phenobarbital.
Wait, you took|your dog's medication?
Phenobarbital is phenobarbital.|lt doesn't matter if it was for my dog.
People have been taking it|recreationally for years.
Smoke that.
So wait a minute,|what does it do to you?
They make you feel good.|They're like downers.
-Okay.|-Anyway...
...l was pretty drunk|and l took like five or six of them.
-Five or six doggy downers?|-Toker's 50 pounds, he takes two.
-l'm 1 70, five or six seems pretty good.|-Shit.
The problem is that if you're drunk,|you can fall into a coma...
-...if you're not careful.|-You went into a coma?
-What's wrong with you?|-No, l didn't go into a fucking coma.
London came back|to apologize or whatever.
Syd? Syd!
Syd! Somebody, please, help!
lt's so fucked up. The fact she's telling|people that makes me so furious.
l would never do that to anyone.|lt's just fucking rude.
-They never pumped your stomach?|-No, l went to the hospital.
l took a few coherency tests.|That's it. That's all.
Do you see how reality gets twisted|when little fucking girls gossip?
Yeah. Yeah, l mean, l guess.
-What? Do you not believe me?|-No, of course l believe you, Syd.
That's why l asked. l was concerned.
Makes me so livid|that she's out there...
...telling people this warped version|of what happened.
You know what? Just please don't|go out there telling her l told you this.
That's the last thing you need.
The last thing l'm gonna do|is mention your name.
Well, honestly, if l were you, l wouldn't|even bring the shit up, okay?
lt's her last night here.|Focus on something positive.
She don't wanna hear that shit.
Fuck.
What? What's wrong?
l don't know, l don't know.
Because l start sweating|and my heart starts pounding...
...and l feel like my head's spinning|and the world's crashing.
And l get pulled down,|further into, like, the darkest...
...meanest places of my brain,|and l start suffocating.
And you feel like you're dying.
What? What? Say something.
-What would you like me to say?|-Anything. Something. l don't care.
l can't be your crutch, Syd.
Oh, you are such a miserable|fucking human being.
Miserable in what way?
The way that you're sitting there,|taking my fucking money...
...and l'm dying. Nothing you do|helps me. The Prozac doesn't help.
The lithium doesn't help. The Zoloft|doesn't help. Nothing you do helps.
You're kind of a fucking asshole.
l just wanna fucking|turn the pain off, you know?
Just give me something that|the pain can go away with, you know?
Can you do that? Don?
l think you're doing great.
When that anxiety hits,|it's terrifying...
...because you're like,|''Maybe l'm really going crazy.
Maybe l've finally|fucked with my head enough...
...that l just detached from reality.''
-You have these horrible revelations.|-Like what?
l started freaking out about death.|l became obsessed.
l couldn't conceptualize not|being here. Just not being here.
One day, Mallory, you and l|are gonna be dead. Buried. Gone.
You think about religion. People are|just swallowing these concepts.
Like God and heaven,|just to suppress our deepest fears...
...that we don't know why we're here.|lt makes no sense.
lt totally makes sense, okay?
At the same time it allows people|to go on living their everyday lives...
...without constantly obsessing over|these things. These realities.
Life, death, heaven, hell.|Existence, why we're here.
You know, who knows,|it's possible that a god does exist.
Energy, force, spirit, whatever|you wanna call it. l believe that.
Fair enough.|So, what happens when you die?
l don't know. You fucking die. Why|does there have to be an answer?
Why can't there just be mysteries?|l don't know. Your body dies.
Your actual physical being dies,|but your spirit, l do believe, lives on.
lt lives on in the world. Man, it's this|continuing thing of existence.
lt doesn't have to have|a perfect answer why.
l buy that a little bit more|than an invisible guy...
...taking checks and balances|on 6 million people.
That sounds like Santa Claus to me.
lt's like a fairy tale for adults|who can't handle death.
Yeah, because if you think about it...
...there was a time that we didn't know|that the world was round...
...or that the atom existed|or whatever, right...
...because we didn't have|the technology to observe it.
And then...one day we do, right?
So, l mean, it's totally|conceivably possible...
...that in our lifetime, we will have|the technology to observe God...
...or whatever it is that created us|and the planets...
...and the universe|and everything else. Right?
lt's important to at least have faith|in the possibility...
...of a higher being|or something, or whatever...
...because otherwise, you're just--
You're gonna drive yourself|completely fucking insane.
Right, but that really is|the operative word isn't it?
What do you mean? What word?
''Faith.'' Because without faith,|what do you have? You have nothing.
You got a few stories written 1 00|years ago, thousands of years ago...
...by people who are more|clueless than we are.
The same people who were crucifying|people who said the world was round.
So, you know. l just need more proof.|l need logic to support this religion.
Okay, if you want proof,|l will give you proof.
There was a study that was done|in Japan with physicists, okay?
They took two vats of rice...
...they put one in one room,|and one in another room.
They put a time-lapse camera on it|so they could observe it for a month.
They let all these people|come into one room...
...and they would say, ''I love you,|rice. You are the best rice.
You are the most beautiful,|most gorgeous, sexy rice there is.''
And in the other room,|they say, ''l fucking hate you, rice.
I hate you. You're the worst rice.|Fuck you, rice, you're the worst rice. ''
After a month, the rice that they|said ''l love you'' to? Still edible.
The other rice looks like|fucking black sludge.
l saw the pictures. l saw, you know,|the time-lapse video.
lt's a study. lt's real.|l saw it with my own eyes.
That's your proof right there. l mean,|it's energy. We're affecting something.
-God is energy.|-London, you're talking about rice.
Rice. lt has nothing to do with religion.|Nothing to do with God.
-l gave you proof.|-l'm sorry, l don't find proof in that.
You know what your problem is?|You're so undyingly convinced...
...that everything your parents|and teachers taught you...
...you hold it as|this indisputable, almighty truth.
Syd, can we please just drop it?|Can we just fucking drop it?
You wanna drop it because|you know l'm right. Admit that...
-...we'll talk about whatever you want.|-Shut up.
-Shut the fuck up.|-Just admit it.
You're scared to question authority|because what if they're wrong?
What if all your parents|and all your elders...
...were as scared of death as you,|and brainwashed just like you?
You're just blind to see it.
Okay, so l'm brainwashed...
...because l happen to think|that believing in something...
...other than meaninglessness|and nonexistence is a positive thing?
-Okay. That's really smart, Syd.|-l'm glad you agree with me.
l was being facetious, you dipshit.
Why are you calling me a dipshit?
Why are you calling me a dipshit?
Because...
...you always have to be right.|Why do you always have to be right?
And your ego.|Your ego, it's just huge.
-lt's just out of fucking control.|-There's no need to freak out.
Syd, because you don't know|when to stop.
You keep going|and going and going...
...until people just wanna|smash your face in.
Okay, okay.|Maybe God doesn't exist.
l guess me and the billions upon|billions and billions of other people...
...who actually pray to something|are completely deluded...
...and you are right.|You are all-knowing.
You're God, Syd. lsn't that what|you wanna fucking hear anyway?
-That everyone else is wrong and--?|-Doesn't everybody?
And l'm deluded?|And l am fucking deluded?
You are-- You're sick.|You're sick, Syd.
You need fucking mental help.
God, you make everybody crazy.|You're making me fucking crazy.
You just-- You blanket people with|your pseudo-intellectual bullshit...
...and then they can't fucking breathe.|You just suffocate people.
You don't talk to people.|You talk at them.
At least l talk about real shit.|We've been going out for two years.
What's the most intelligent|conversation we've had?
How many grams of fat|are in a slice of vegetarian pizza?
-Fuck you! You're so annoying.|-No, fuck you, London!
You are more annoying than me.
You get away with it|because no one listens.
They stare at your tits,|thinking of ways to fuck you.
l can't fucking believe that l ever fell|in love with a fucking asshole like you!
-You're such a fucking asshole!|-Stop!
-l fucking hate you!|-London. Take it easy.
Stop, stop, stop.
Stop. Stop.
Stop.
Baby. Come on, now.
l'm not gonna get her back, am l?
l don't know.
Why don't you go talk to her.
Are you leaving?
l'm getting really claustrophobic.|l need to get some air.
-l'm not freaking you out, am l?|-No, l'm so high right now.
l need a drink.
-Here, let me give you some of this.|-Can you bring that purse over?
-Yeah, of course.|-Thanks.
Here.
-Oh, thanks, man.|-Here, this is for you.
-That's way too much.|-No, please, take it.
-You sure?|-Yeah.
Thanks, man. That's really sweet.
So you--? Do you wanna|come out there or what?
Yeah, l'll be out there in a minute.|l'm gonna...
-...just hang here for a minute or two.|-All right.
See you out there, okay?
You gotta come out.
Hello, girls. What's your name?
We're at a party, come on.|What are you reading a book for?
Fancy a smoke in the little room?
We're reading, actually,|about robopathology.
Complicated little thing, aren't you?
l was gonna leave,|then l had to make a beeline to you.
Like l feel l know you|or something like that.
On a one-to-ten scale...
...you're a four. ln dim light.
One lantern so l wouldn't have to|see your heinous, disfigured face.
You are absolutely--|You're beautiful.
l have to go.|That's my chopper. But before l do--
-lt's picking you up?|-Yeah.
l invented this move:
She likes me. She's laughing.
-How old are you?|-Eighteen.
Eighteen.
Let me just get another drink now.
Stop. l'm not hitting on you.
-l like your shoes.|-You do?
-Excuse me. Hey, girl, l'm out of here.|-Already?
-l'm gonna miss you.|-l'm gonna miss you too.
-Thank you so much for coming.|-You're welcome.
-Don't get shallow on me.|-l promise. Are you kidding me?
-l'm sorry. l'll see you later.|-Nice to meet you.
Call us when you get home.|Let us know you're okay.
All right, all right, all right, come on.
Come on, Syd.
You gotta mellow out.|You gotta mellow out.
You need a beer.|You need a bottle.
Okay.
Stop doing blow.|You gotta stop doing coke.
Don't grind your teeth. lf she sees|you grind your teeth, you're fucked.
Come on, Syd.|Mellow out, mellow out.
Be a man. Be a man.
There. Get a drink.|Go out there, get a drink.
What's the worst that can happen?|What's the worst that can happen?
l can see London. So what?
Fuck. Fuck.
Okay. You fuck up tonight, it's over.
Okay.
Come on.
You know l do.
Well, if you do, if you love me,|why don't you just say it?
Why can't you just fucking say it?|Why is it so impossible for you?
lt's-- lt's three words.
lt's-- L-O-V-E Y--|lt's eight fucking letters.
You can't say eight fucking letters?
lt's not a lot of letters.
Say it.
Tell me you were not doing|cocaine in my parents' bathroom.
-What are you talking about?|-Don't ''what are you talking about'' me.
-l saw you go upstairs.|-Yeah, l went to the fucking bathroom.
-Really?|-Yeah, l had to pee.
Well, swear to God|you're not doing cocaine.
Who the fuck is Bateman?
That's his friend or some shit.|l don't know.
He's hot.
l think l want to have|hot coke sex with him.
You fucking did cocaine!|Don't fuck with me. Are you?
Yeah, man, he's hot.|l like guys with accents.
Oh, my God.
l gotta go.
-So l met your girl, mate.|-What do you mean, you met her?
Mallory, she introduced us.
l didn't say l knew you.|l didn't wanna blow your cover.
But, my God,|she is painfully gorgeous.
Yeah, no shit.
l'd go out there|and speak to her immediately.
l can't go out there like this.|l'm not thinking right.
lf she knows l'm on blow,|she won't even talk to me.
Fuck! How do l look?|Do l look like l'm on blow?
-No, you're fine.|-No, look at me. Look at my eyes.
A bit, yeah.
Come on. Drink some more booze.|You'll be fine.
What was l thinking,|getting these tonight? So stupid, Syd.
l just wanted to clear my head out.|Try and think a little bit clearer.
Now l'm so fucking spun|l can't even think straight.
-Fuck.|-Happens, mate.
l've never been particularly social|on this shit, anyway.
lt's a lonely, lonely drug.
This is fucking crazy.
l should bail. l can't do this.
-Should l bail?|-You could.
-l think you'd regret it.|-Why? Why do you say that?
Personally, l'd rather|regret something l'd done...
...than something|l was too afraid to do.
No shit.
But l haven't talked to this girl|in two fucking months.
Everybody here hates me.|These are all her friends.
lf l go out there, it is gonna get|fucking ugly. Fucking ugly.
You'd think they'd have something to|take the edge off a chick leaving you.
That'd be nice.|Look, they have this theory.
Maybe it'll help. l don't know.
Fuck knows where it comes from.|The broad strokes of it are...
...that it takes a third of the time...
...to recover from a relationship|as the relationship was long.
So, for example,|if the relationship lasted a year...
...you'll be good in four months.
-Two years, you'll be clean in eight.|-lt's not a third, it's a half.
-Mate, it's a third. Trust me.|-No, mate, it's a half.
Maybe in England it's a third.|ln America it's a half.
l dated her for two years. lt's been|six months and it's getting worse.
Six months? Come on.|What are you complaining about?
You've got two months to go.
Good behavior, maybe a month.
Bro, l appreciate the pep talk...
...but if you haven't noticed,|l'm trying to get this girl back.
Look, l don't know if first love|applies to that theory, anyway.
lt's been years, l still have these|horribly lucid dreams about Helen.
lt's almost like your brain is trying|to compensate for the absence.
You know, you think you're|still married, you're still in love...
...life's just beautiful.
All of a sudden, you wake up, look|over and she's been gone for years.
-Fucking horrendous.|-Yeah, no shit.
So you were married before?
How long ago?
Divorced three years ago.
-Who divorced who?|-lt's not that simple.
Well, what happened?|Why did you guys split?
-Long story, mate.|-Give me the abridged version.
''The abridged version.''|Look, l don't know.
The relationship just didn't work|on so many levels.
We both had one foot out the door|for two years...
...of our two-and-a-half-year|marriage.
You know, but it's weird. You know,|when they tell you they're leaving...
...it's like you don't even|feel the hollowness.
lt's an emptiness|within an emptiness...
...and you're left with|slightly less than nothing.
The person you were when you met|doesn't exist anymore. You're gone.
-So she left you?|-Syd, it's very fucking complicated.
What happened?|Did you cheat on her?
-No, no. lt's irrelevant.|-lrrelevant? How is it irrelevant?
Besides money, infidelity's the most|relevant reason why people split up.
Yeah, yeah. True, true.
Come on, man.|l thought we were talking.
Let's talk, let's talk.|Why did your wife leave you?
Syd, it's not a pleasant scene|for me, please.
Oh, my scene's pleasant?
Mate, l've been 2 1 before.|l know your pain.
But where you're pushing me now|is not a place you wanna go.
Wait. Are you trying to say|that since you're older than me...
-...your pain is somehow more?|-That's the case.
Listen, first of all...
...you don't have the slightest clue|what pain l've been through.
Just since you're|a couple decades older...
...doesn't mean that your pain is more|than mine. lt doesn't.
Secondly, don't make|blind comparisons...
...when you have no fucking clue|what you're comparing.
You think having your heart broken|is pain? You think losing God is pain?
Mate, l went through that trivial shit|when l was 20.
l'm 40 now, mate.
Where you're trying to push me now|is not a place you wanna go.
So why don't you do yourself a favor,|and don't fucking go there with me.
You're a fucking child.|You're just a kid.
A kid?
Listen, you pompous, limey fuck...
...if you had one tenth my pain,|you'd be psychologically crippled.
Mate, seriously, fuck off.|All we're doing is projecting shit here.
Look, take a step back.|Let's relax, shall we?
-Do a bit of gear. Come on.|-Fuck the gear. l don't want that shit.
-More for me.|-lt's Bateman, right?
-Nice to see your memory is still intact.|-Well, Bateman...
...let me give you a glimpse into|my life, insight into my fucking pain.
-Mate, it's not necessary. Truly.|-No, it is necessary.
And if you didn't think it was,|you wouldn't have pushed my buttons.
But you did.|And if you don't wanna hear it...
...stop snorting my shit|and get the fuck out of the bathroom.
Technically, it's my shit,|but l can see you're passionate, so go.
So this fucker...
...this fucking guy out in L.A.,|who my chick is now in love with...
...he's, you know, endowed.
-She told you that?|-Yeah. So l needed to know how big.
Not that l give a fuck|about another guy's dick.
lt's one of those things|you feel like you need to know.
So we're in an argument,|and l was pushing her.
l was like, ''How big is he?''
She was like, ''Let's not make an issue|out of it.'' And l said, ''No, fuck that.''
And she says,|''Ten and a half inches.''
-Jesus.|-Yeah, you believe that shit?
She could have at least|rounded it down.
-The girl's trying to hurt you, mate.|-Yeah, no shit.
But it really fucked with me, you know.|Knowing that this guy is in L.A...
...with the only woman l love,|fucking her with 1 0 and a half inches.
l'm chasing her around like a puppy,|doing anything l can to get her back.
And it crushed me!|lt still fucking crushes me!
Sorry, mate.
-How exactly do you deal with that?|-You don't deal with it.
lt deals with you.
God, it eats at you|and it eats at you, you know?
We'd get in these fights,|and l'd say the most horrible things.
l'd be like, ''You just want a fat cock|in your fat snatch, you fucking whore.''
You know, l'd--|Just mean, horrible things.
l'd be so fucking angry, you know?
l used to say the same shit, mate. l|used to say the most horrendous shit.
Why? What'd she do?
She didn't really do anything.
You know, l imagine that|a lot of it had to do with me.
A lot of it had to with my hang-ups|and depression and shit.
But, my God, l used to say the worst|shit to her. l tormented that girl.
l lived with her for three and a half|fucking years and l hated her.
So, what was the final snap?
Did you cheat on her?|Did she cheat on you?
No, no. God, no.
-How do you know?|-Because l didn't, you know? l didn't.
-How do you know she didn't?|-l know she didn't. lt wasn't her thing.
How do you know?
l was with the most beautiful girl|in the universe.
She didn't fuck me|for two fucking years!
-Why?|-l don't know.
Because we fought. l was in therapy.
l don't-- l don't-- Look, l don't know.
lf you wanna know it is, l'll tell you.
You remember sentences|that people say to you.
They stick in your mind like gunshot|wounds that never fucking heal.
l remember what my ex-wife|said to me when we started dating.
She said, ''l love it when a guy|fucks me four, five times a night.''
-Four, five times a night?|-Yeah. Truly.
l was like, ''You was with some guy...
...who fucked you|four, five times a night?''
-You wanna know what pain is?|-What?
-l'll tell you what pain is, you fuck.|-Why you calling me a fuck?
-l'll tell you what pain is, you fuck.|-Why you calling me a fuck?
Because, my friend,|you brought me here...
...and l didn't particularly|wanna go here, but now l am.
lf you don't wanna go|where l'm about to go...
...then tell me right now|and l'll walk out the door...
...l'll phone my therapist|and that will be it, okay?
No, fuck that, l wanna hear this.|You're not going anywhere.
-You wanna know what it is?|-Yes, l wanna know what it is.
Motherfucker, you wanna know|what it is? Pain, my friend...
...is when the woman you love|wants to fuck you...
...four, five times a night,|and you can't!
-Why?|-Why? Why?
l'll tell you why.|Because l'm an impotent man!
Motherfucker, that's pain!
That's fucking pain!
When your wife wants|to fuck you four times a night...
...and you fucking can't!
You know that some fucker|before you could.
And you know that some fucker|after you will!
Well, l couldn't|cope with that, could l?
That sense of ruination...
...that insolvency|that burns in your soul.
l couldn't fuck my wife!
Do know what|that fucking means, mate?
Do you understand|what impotent rage really is?!
-l'm sorry.|-You have no fucking idea, mate!
-l'm sorry.|-Oh, you're sorry?
Oh, you're sorry, are you?
You dare, you fucking dare|ask me if there's a God?
Well, man, l feel forsaken.|l feel cheated, you cunt!
l've lost in the big game,|and nothing else fucking matters.
lt doesn't matter what you do.|lf you can't hack it in the sack, mate...
...if you can't hack it|in the game of love and sex...
...you are shit, my friend.
Because you can't do what the other|man can do to your fucking wife, mate!
l know what you mean.
No, motherfucker,|you do not know what l mean!
You couldn't possibly know|what the fuck l mean!
l failed.
l fucking failed, mate.
And l'm still failing|every fucking day of my life!
Every day.
Every fucking day.
You know....
Thought you were gonna|clock me for a minute.
l wasn't gonna hit you.|l'm projecting.
You should see my group therapy|sessions. They're fucking psychotic.
Yeah, l'll bet.
Mate, do yourself a favor,|please, for me.
Go and talk to your chick.
l can't. To be honest, l'm thinking|about making for the elevator.
l can't go out like this.|She doesn't even want me here.
Look, l hate to break it to you, mate...
...but by now|she knows you're here...
...and, unfortunately,|time is not on your side.
What are you gonna do,|wait outside like a fucking stalker?
Wouldn't be the first time.
-Go, man, go. Come on.|-No, l can't, l can't, l can't.
Listen to me. God.
Listen to me, you might not have|a 1 0-and-a-half-inch cock...
...but at least you can still fuck her.
So quit worrying about|all the bullshit.
The fact is, she's here, you're here.
Life's too short|to be a pussy, mate. Truly.
Come on.
l think l would love to do that. l don't|really know a lot of people there.
Not a whole lot going on in L.A.,|but we'll find something.
Hey, London.|Could l talk to you for a second?
Yeah. What is it?|What do you want?
l wanna know if we can go somewhere|and talk for a second, please.
You don't wanna talk here?|We can't just talk right here?
Please.
Syd,|A, this is my going-away party...
...and l think it would be pretty uncool|to the people who threw it for me...
...if l left just because|you wanted to talk.
And, B, l don't know|if you noticed...
...but we were kind of|in the middle of a conversation...
...so l don't know what to tell you.
Listen, l'm gonna grab another drink.|Can l--? Can l get you something?
Actually, yeah.
l'd love something.|Something strong.
-Fuck me up.|-All right.
What about you, bruiser?|What are you drinking?
ls that a bottle of cockblocker?
So....
l heard you've been snorting drugs|all night. Really productive.
l heard you told people|l tried to kill myself.
That's really fucking great of you.|l really appreciate it.
Who the fuck told you that?|l would never say that.
-You know that.|-The fact is, l have known you...
...since you were 1 0.|We have been through everything.
And you don't have|the decency to call--
-Please keep your voice down?|-What the fuck is that?!
-You wanna talk? Fine, let's go.|-Get the fuck off me.
l'm sorry, excuse me.
-l'm sorry, excuse me. l'm sorry.|-What?
-London, are you okay?|-Yeah.
We're just gonna--|We're gonna go and talk.
Yeah? Because if you want, l'll call|security and have him taken out.
Becca, could you do me a favor?|Stay out of this?
You've been doing coke in the|bathroom all night so don't tell me...
...what l can and can't do|in my own fucking house...
...considering you|weren't even invited.
lt's cool, Bec. We're gonna go.|lt's gonna be fine.
lt's not cool, London.|Baby, he wasn't invited.
You didn't want him here,|l didn't want him.
-No one wants him here.|-Becca, can you relax? Please?
-Don't tell me to relax.|-Why can't you relax for two seconds?
-We're leaving.|-You're shouting at my fucking party.
Also you're psychotic.|You couldn't take a hint...
...if it smashed you in the face.|She doesn't want to be with you.
-Not even 20 seconds.|-We're leaving. Let's go.
-Bec, we're leaving. l'm sorry.|-You know what?
l'm sorry, London, and l'm not|trying to be a bitch here...
...but when you come back,|you come back alone.
l don't want you|in my house again, all right?
Or l will call the cops.
Becca, l'm really trying|to be calm here, all right?
Fuck off. l'm so tired of you|and your psycho fucking shit.
You wanna talk about psycho?
-Let's talk about your fucked-up life.|-Stop it.
-Fuck you!|-Fuck this! You wanna fuck with me?
You wanna fuck with me?|Let's do it right fucking now.
Why don't you fuck off, alrighty?
You weren't even invited to this.
-You wanna fuck with me?|-Stop it. We're leaving right now!
How many friends did you fuck|freshman year? Fifteen, 20?
l think l lost count. Was it|the whole fucking pledge class?
Jay, you never really know|your girlfriend.
lsn't that a total mind-fuck?
You're a fucking bastard!
You fucking wanker! Get the fuck|out of my fucking house!
Hey!
-Fuck you.|-Come on, then!
Fucking prick.|You want some, you fucking slag?
Hey, Syd!
Here, you cunt.|Have some of that, you fuck.
Fuck off. Come on, then.
Hey, Syd!
Get off, you fucking asshole.
You fucker. Get the fuck off him.
Come on.
Wait a minute, l gotta get Bateman.
What? Who the fuck is Bateman?
Come on, you cunts!|You want some, do you? Do you?
Let's go, Bateman. Come on.
-My coat. My Burberry coat.|-Fuck it, leave the jacket.
-l've had it 1 0 fucking years.|-l'll get it.
-Are you fucking crazy?|-We'll be downstairs.
Guy's fucking nuts.
-You're bleeding.|-l am so sorry.
-Where?|-This is fucking insane.
-You are insane.|-l am so sorry.
lf you wanna go back, l understand.
-You don't wanna talk?|-Yeah, l wanna talk. l mean....
Well, where?|Where do you wanna go?
My car's two blocks away|if you want coffee.
-Yeah, okay.|-All right. Okay.
Look, you're probably not|gonna believe this at all...
...but l was kind of glad|when l heard you were at the party.
Ever since you and l broke up,|l've wanted...
...to have a normal conversation,|just a normal conversation with you.
And l just feel like every time|l see you, it just gets so, like....
Like, weird and chaotic and scrambled,|and l can't organize my thoughts...
...and l can't even express the most|basic things l want to say to you.
l know. Me too.
Whatever we had when we were|together, when we were in love...
...that feeling of just being able to lie in|bed with someone for days and days...
...and not give a fuck|about the outside world...
...is gone.
And l feel like there's nothing|l can do to ever get it back.
Do you know how painful that is?
Yeah. Yeah, l do.
l cried for weeks when we broke up.
You cried for weeks?
Yes.
The hardest thing|l've ever dealt with in my life.
How long did you go through that?
A long time. A long time.
l mean, the first month,|it was so fucking bad. And then...
...you know, slowly, it gets better.
That's the difference|between you and me, London.
l'm still going through it.
l tried to call you|a dozen times today.
l'm terrified. l'm-- l'm afraid.
Of what? What are you afraid of?
l'm afraid of falling in love|with you again.
-Sorry, Syd.|-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, man, you fucked|your eye up.
Yeah, great party, mate.
lt was fucking insane.
-But good chat, seriously.|-Definitely.
You know, they say the greatest|conversation you'll ever have...
-...is with a stranger?|-Who says that?
Some useless cunt.
You guys need a ride?|We can go uptown.
Me and Mallory....
Don't know. We're gonna|catch a late drink...
...cup of tea, something or other.
Raise the flag, perhaps.
Good luck. Thank you.
That's it. Thank you, mate. Truly.
London, lovely name, darling.
-Thanks.|-Nice to meet you.
-Have a safe flight.|-Nice to meet you.
-Come by the bar, all right?|-l will.
London, call me. Have a safe flight.
We're gonna catch a little drink.
All right.
Can l ask you something?
Yeah.
You do love him?
l never said l was in love with him.
Listen, Syd.
lt's gonna be a really,|really long time...
...before, you know,|l fall in love with anybody...
...the way that l was in love with you.
What time is it?
lt's like 6:30.
Six-thirty? Fuck. Shit.
My plane leaves in like an hour.|Shit. Shit. Shit.
l will see you again.
l promise.
l'm gonna miss you so much.
l'm gonna miss you too.
l gotta go.
Sorry.
-Hello.|-Hi.
Sorry, l am-- l'm just really late.
-l don't even know my flight number.|-That's all right.
Just for one second, okay?
-Here's my lD.|-Thank you.
Just give me a few minutes|while l look for your information.
Okay. Bye.
Goodbye.
Bye.
Bye.
Okay, miss,|l have your flight information.
Sorry.
l think l might have missed my plane.|Can you make sure l'll be all right?
London?
l love you.
-Can you give me a second, please?|-Sure. No problem.
That's the first time you said it first.
-Here you go. You're all set.|-Sorry.
Okay.
-So l'm set? Great.|-Yeah.
-Here's your ticket.|-Thank you.
-l'm not really sure where to go.|-Gate 35. Upstairs.
Thank you and have a great flight.
-Are you coming? You're coming?|-Yeah.
Hello.
Hey, bro, what's up?
l'm crashed out.
What are you doing?
What party?|What are you talking about?
Are you fucking kidding me?
Are you fucking kidding me?
Where?
Fuck!
Fuck!
The number you have reached has|been disconnected. If you feel you--
No fucking way!
Where's the phone? Payphone.
Straight to the back,|past the bathrooms, on the left.
Hey, Mallory.
Oh, hey, Syd, what's up?
You gonna go|to Becca's thing tonight?
Yeah, you know, l was gonna go|and say goodbye.
Why, you going?
Yeah, l think so.|Thinking about it. Yeah.
So you still talk to London?
Yeah, you know,|here and there. Why?
Oh, you know, l was just a little|surprised to hear she was moving.
Did she get a place out there?|ls she staying with somebody?
She didn't tell you where|she was staying? Come on, Mal.
l mean, she said something|about moving in with her boyfriend...
...or something, but, l mean,|that's pretty much all l know.
-Can l get you a drink?|-Yeah.
Can l have a vodka? A large one.
Naked, please.
Excuse me. One second here.
Here you go.
Thanks. Hey, look, l didn't--|l didn't mean to be rude.
lt's okay.
-Hey, Syd, l gotta go cash out, so....|-Yeah.
-See you tonight.|-Yeah.
Listen, l'm gonna get a bit of sniff,|so if you want some, just let me know.
-Oh, really?|-Yeah.
How much is it?
Oh, no, don't worry. Just find me.
Don't tell London.|You know she hates that shit.
Yeah, like l'm gonna say something.
-All right, well, see you later.|-Yeah, l'll see you.
Your name wouldn't happen|to be Bateman, would it?
-Unfortunately, yes.|-Hey. Syd.
Nice to meet you.|Thank you for coming down.
l know you don't deliver this far down.|l just had a shitty day.
l have to clear my head out.
No worries, mate.
So where do you wanna do this?
We don't want to go in the bathroom.|lt's horrendous in there.
l drove. You wanna use my car?
Your car? Why not?
So how is this shit? lt's pretty good?
Can't say l've sampled|any of this batch...
...but considering the source,|l imagine it to be pretty clean, yeah.
So is this like a full-time gig for you?|A full-time job?
No, mate, l'm a banker.
Foreign exchange dealer.|Currency trader.
-Currency trader?|-Euros, pounds, arbitrage, yeah.
Okay, so you're not a dealer.
Mate, l ain't a fucking dealer.
Strictly a buyer.
l was uptown, you were on my way.|lt's just a favor.
Gotcha. Well, whatever it is,|l really appreciate it, man.
Here we go.
So a currency trader, huh?
How's the money in that, good?
Not if you get stuck on this shit, no.
Yeah, l know.|God, what a stupid fucking drug.
l don't know what you're doing after|this, if you got plans or anything...
...but a friend is having a party two|blocks from here, if you're interested.
No, thanks, mate,|but l've had a shit day, believe me.
l just figured, you know,|you came down this whole way.
lt'll probably be pretty good.
What kind of party is it, exactly?
Actually, it's a....
lt's a going-away party for this girl,|for my ex-chick.
But it'll be good, you know,|free booze, free food, hot chicks.
l really shouldn't. Thanks anyway.|l appreciate the offer.
Fuck it, Syd. l'm gonna go.|Take it easy.
Why are you gonna go?|Don't go. You just got here.
You walked all the way down here.|Why leave?
Because l've had a horrendous day.
l've decided not to go because l don't|want to meet a loft full of strangers.
-You enjoy yourself.|-Come in for five minutes.
-Get a drink.|-No, man. You go, fuck it.
What do you got|that's better than this?
Girls, free booze, do a line.
l've just come out of the most|psychotic therapy session...
...l've had in fucking years.|Almost smacked some cunt for a taxi.
l really don't know|if l'm ready for this shit.
Just come in for five minutes.|You don't like it, you can leave.
One fucking drink, bro.
Mallory will be here.
One drink?
One fucking drink.
-How you doing, man?|-Evening.
-What is it, 501 1 ?|-Yes.
Thanks, man.
-Hey, Maya.|-Hi, Syd.
-How you doing?|-Good.
-lt's been a while.|-Yeah. How you doing?
l'm good.|Bateman, this is Maya. Sorry.
-Maya, Bateman.|-Nice to meet you.
How you been?|What you been up to?
ln hell, man. l fucked up on the SATs,|l gotta retake them.
-That's it, you know?|-Right.
Just wanna kill myself. Yeah.
Well, you know, if you want to get out|of SAT mode, l picked up a lot of:
-You know, so....|-Are you dealing now?
Yes, l'm dealing. No, l'm not dealing.|l got more than l need, so if you're....
-All right, man, thanks.|-Just come find me.
-l might take you up on that.|-Did anybody--?
Coming.
-Hello.|-Hello.
-Hey, baby.|-How are you?
-l'm good. Hey, Syd, how are you?|-This, my darling, is for you.
Oh, you guys, shut up. Thank you.
-You know you are the best.|-Nobody's here yet.
Grab a drink.|Make yourself at home.
Hello? Syd and London.
-Don't disrespect them in public.|-ln public.
Let's go upstairs.
Why? Who's upstairs?
Very bad. Catch me.
You're crazy.
What is this?
lt's for you.
-For me? For me?|-For you.
Oh, my God, Syd, l love it.
Thank you.
l love you.
l love you.
Come on, ''l love you too, London,''|you fucker.
You can say it.|l'm not gonna tell anybody.
-London, don't.|-What? What am l doing?
-This.|-What am l doing wrong?
Whatever this is, this obsession|to put a verbal label on everything.
-lt's not about words.|-No, it is about words.
Because if we didn't have words,|we'd be living in caves...
-...and still talking with our hands.|-Stop.
We haven't even|come close to a fight.
lf we can avoid that first fight,|by theory we'll never fight.
Okay? Please.
lt's been so perfect till now.|Don't do this.
lt's been perfect for you. For you.
London.
Coming.
Wait a minute,|someone's at the door.
-Hello.|-Hi.
Wow, you look beautiful.
You look hot.|Nice hat, nice boots.
Thanks.
-Hey.|-Hey, Becca.
-Rebecca.|-Bateman. Friend of Syd's.
-Nice to meet you.|-Nobody's here yet, guys.
So just come on in|and make yourself at home.
Okay, so you're not gonna believe|who's just fucking shown up.
Great party, mate.
Oh, it'll be better. lt'll be better.|Trust me. l promise you.
Okay, l've gotta go.
Please tell me|you did not bring Syd here.
Oh, my God, l just rode up|in the elevator with him.
-Why? He's not invited?|-He's so not invited.
He's fucking touching|my Buddha's head.
Hey, London, it's me.
Give me a call as soon|as you get this, okay? Okay, bye.
Fuck it.
Hey, Syd. Do us a favor, yeah?|Don't touch the Buddha.
Okay?
He's a fucking cocksucker.
Where did you get your hat?
lt's so cute on you.
He's fucked.
To show up at someone's party.|He isn't even fucking invited.
Did they just go upstairs?
Right. Nice. Nice of them to ask.
Wait, l'm confused, did you say|you do believe in God or you don't?
''God'' might not be|the appropriate word for it, actually.
lt's more of an epiphany.
Epiphany?|What was your epiphany?
Well, for me, an epiphany|is when you really see the universe...
...in all it's splendor and beauty...
...and you suddenly|understand everything.
-What does that mean?|-Fucking everything.
Everything you can imagine. You don't|know what ''everything'' means?
l know what it means. l don't know|what you mean by ''everything.''
lt means everything, doesn't it?|You know, everything.
-So, what's your problem?|-For someone who's seen the infinite...
...you're vague. You'd think|with someone who's had a revelation...
-...you'd be more specific.|-lt's not about specifics.
lt's an energy that hits you between|the eyes and you're enlightened.
-You see everything?|-You don't see everything.
You see nothing.|But you understand everything.
And you know what|got me the most?
-ls that l understood time horizons.|-What's a time horizon?
lt's like this. l understood|where l stood in relation...
...to where the Romans and the Jews|were 2000 years ago...
...and why l was here now.
Then l felt this enormous|compassion...
...for the struggle of the human race|and what it had to go through for us.
You know, for life as we know it|to come to this point.
lt's truly remarkable, but at the same|time, it's utterly fucking disturbing.
l mean, we're the same people|that were living in Roman times...
...throwing boiling oil on each other|and crucifying Christians.
Not that that's entirely a bad thing.
Hey, Syd, are you in there?|lt's Maya.
Oh, fuck! Fuck me.
-Fuck, fuck. Give me one second.|-What the fuck have you done?
-Sorry. Fuck.|-You clumsy bastard.
-What have you fucking done?|-Shit.
Look at that.
lt's covered in fucking beer.
-Fuck.|-Oh, my God.
What are you gonna do?
-Goddamn it, Syd.|-lnstant karma.
-l got it.|-That's enough to give up blasphemy.
-Get up here.|-No, we can totally save this.
What are you gonna do,|eat food off the floor?
-Fucking gross.|-Do me a favor.
-God fucking damn it.|-God, is this it?
-Yes.|-Are you kidding?
-No, it's my fucking fault too.|-Just snort it off the floor.
You don't wanna do that. l shouldn't|have put it by the fucking sink.
What are you doing?
-What's that?|-As l said, all is not lost.
-Bateman, Jesus Christ.|-Oh, my God, you fucking rock.
-Do you know this painting?|-No.
lt's Van Gogh's|Wheatfield with Crows.
The most significant painting|the man's ever painted.
-Oh, well, then.|-Fuck, it's true.
That'll do for starters, won't it?
Look, this is the last painting|the man did before he killed himself.
lt's his suicide note. He even put|his left ear in the fucking clouds.
There is his mutilated left ear.
Can you see it? Not everyone sees it,|of course, but there it is.
He mutilated his left ear|and put it in the fucking painting.
What does that mean?
Maya, l'm curious.|Do you believe in God?
You guys have been doing|too many drugs.
Answer the question. Yes or no?
God, that's a really long|conversation...
...but l will tell you something l read|the other day that freaked me out.
l don't remember where it was.
lt was like Russia or Germany|or one of these places...
...but these scientists,|they took this pregnant rabbit...
...and they hooked up to,|like, a heart monitor and an EE G...
...which sensors your brain waves.
And, like, the second after she gives|birth, they take these babies...
...and they jump in a van|and they start shooting them...
...one by one in the back of the head|with, like, a .22 rifle.
From, like one mile away:
Five miles away:|Twenty miles away--
Don't tell me people are|killing little bunny rabbits.
What's so interesting|is that every time they'd shoot...
...one of these poor babies|in the back of the head...
...the mother's heartbeat|and brain waves would go crazy.
So l'm just saying there's,|you know, shit like that, and then--
The mother knew the babies|were getting shot--
Yes. Every fucking time. Exactly.
l mean, there's all that stuff, you know,|like those weird identical twins, right?
One of the brothers is|walking down the street...
...gets stabbed|by some serial killer.
Wait. So he gets stabbed, right?
And then 900 miles away,|at the exact same time...
...his twin brother falls down.
Weird, it's very weird, yes.
Do you want to let me finish|what l'm saying?
-Please, please, finish.|-Okay, he falls down.
Gets hospitalized|due to heart palpitations...
...at the same time|his brother was stabbed.
-Why are you shaking your head?|-You sound like London.
-lt's coincidence.|-How is it a coincidence?
l've had this conversation before.|l'm not having it here.
Well, then, let's not. Then don't|ask me about God, okay, Syd?
Hey, is London here yet?
No, l don't think so.
Did you meet her boyfriend?
Yeah, a couple of times. He's nice.
ls he, like, an attractive guy?|ls he good-looking?
Are you asking me|if he's an attractive guy?
l guess.
You guess?|What do you mean, you guess?
l mean, l guess.
All right, so l'm curious. Do you think|he's more or less attractive than me?
Syd, l don't know.
Well, you do know.|You just aren't telling me.
l don't know, Syd. You guys just--|You have totally different looks.
All right, yes.|We have very different looks.
But whose do you like more?|His or mine?
This is stupid, Syd.
Okay, fine.
l guess, on some level,|l find him attractive.
That doesn't mean that l find him...
...any more or less attractive|than l find you.
Okay?
l won't lie to you.|Just because we're going out...
...doesn't mean l'm gonna,|you know...
...suddenly not be attracted|to the opposite sex.
He's a friend|who happens to be attractive.
lt was one lunch.|Why are you freaking out?
You don't see me going to lunch|with a bunch of attractive people.
Okay. First of all,|it was one guy, not a bunch.
And it's really not my problem that|you don't have female friends, is it?
Because no one's stopping you|from having female friends.
l love this, by the way.
-So for the sake of conversation....|-Syd.
-Let's just pretend you and l...|-Please, can we just drop it?
...don't know each other.|Just listen to me.
Let's pretend for five minutes|you don't know me, l don't know you.
Me and what's-his-name|are in the room.
-Who do you pick?|-l do know you, Syd.
Remove that from the equation.
-You can't.|-Gun to your head. Who do you pick?
l would pick you.|l would pick you in any equation.
Are you all right in there?
Everything is fine. Thank you.
Syd, literally, this has got to be one|of the most insane conversations...
...l've ever had with you.
l don't want to fuck him. l don't.
-Fuck him?|-lt was one lunch.
Who said anything|about fucking him?
-l didn't say fucking, l said attracted.|-That's what you meant.
-lt's not.|-Please keep your voice down.
l meant attracted, you said fuck.
Can you just fucking|shut the fuck up?
What do you want?
l want you to answer|the fucking question.
Syd, you're a cute guy. You are.|You really, really are, but l don't know.
He has this angular, sexy,|Diesel-ad thing going on.
But l don't even know him.
-So maybe he's an asshole.|-You know what?
Fuck you, Maya. lf you were my friend,|you would've lied.
Syd. Syd, you are at|her going-away party.
lf you don't calm down,|you'll drive me...
...and you, and everyone else,|and her at this fucking party crazy.
Just say goodbye and let her go,|because she's gone.
She's gone, man.
Line, anyone?
No. No, thank you.|But do you have a cigarette?
l'm sorry.
Light. l'm sorry.
All right, all right, you know what?|l'm gonna go.
-Are you leaving?|-Thank you. Thank you for everything.
-Really.|-Listen, do me a favor.
Don't tell London l'm doing blow|in here. That'll really screw me.
You know, Syd, yeah,|you know, l'll try to remember that.
Maya, l'm serious. Please?
Hey, please tell me you're not doing|coke in my parents' bathroom.
-What?|-l saw you go upstairs.
-Where did you go?|-To the bathroom.
Swear to God, you're not doing coke|in my parents' house.
Oh, my God, l swear to God...
...l'm not doing coke|in your parents' house.
Okay, l'm sorry, darling.
All right.|Have a good time. l'm sorry.
How long were you two together?
Who? Me and London?|Two and a half years.
-You split when?|-Six months and a few days ago.
You're counting, Syd.|Not a good sign, mate.
Why? Why do you say that?
Joking.|l mean, what's the girl's name?
-Maya. Can l have one of those?|-Maya.
Maya.
l'd do some terrible things to her.
She's like an X-rated Barbie doll.
-How old is she?|-l don't know, like 1 6, 1 7.
Seventeen?
-Now l really wanna fuck her.|-You'd fuck a 1 7-year-old?
What, you wouldn't?
lf it's not against the law,|what's the problem?
You can fuck a 1 5-year-old|in France.
Does that make them|all pedophiles?
Right situation, right country,|you'd fuck one too, believe you me.
Right, right. lnternational waters,|deserted island, shit can happen.
But if any of my female friends|knew l fucked a 1 7-year-old...
-...they'd lose it.|-What's the matter with you?
lf we told women a tenth of|the things we think and do...
...do you think we'd ever get laid?
-Like when l asked a girl to piss on me.|-To piss on you?
Yes, mate, but l was on|a horrible amount of X at the time.
Did she piss on you?
Actually, no...
...she pissed in my mouth.
She pissed in your mouth?
lt was not a pleasant experience,|believe me.
How the fuck does that happen?
What is the conversation that leads to|a girl having to piss in your mouth?
lt was a fucking mistress.
-You paid an S & M chick?|-Many times.
''Many times.''
Listen, it's an expensive hobby,|both mentally and financially.
So, what's the deal?|How does it work?
l don't know if l want|to go there, you know?
Come on, explain it. No one cares.|Did you get your shit wet? Me too.
lt's my fucking Savile Row suit.|lt's fucking 5 G's.
l've kept it out of the rain all day.|Look at the state of it.
Look, l don't wanna go there.|All right, Syd?
Come on. l'm not gonna tell.
-Why the fuck do you wanna know?|-How does it work?
-You just go over there?|-Look at you, you fucking dirtbag.
-You brought it up.|-You wanna go there...
...you fucking go there. Leave my|fucking demons to myself, mate.
-Where is it?|-Tribeca, you cunt.
Explain it. How does it work?|You just walk over?
Look, you phone from downstairs...
...and magically they let you in|through these enormous iron gates.
You get all excited.
You get all wrapped up.|You can't wait to get in there.
The whole thought of it just|gets amongst your fucking veins.
You're into it, you know?
All of a sudden,|they give you a form.
It's a five-page disclaimer|in fucking triplicate.
And you're like, ''Hold on.|What is this? Paperwork?
l've come here|to get my dick sucked.
l didn't come here to sign forms.''|lt's hilarious.
You don't pay them,|you give them a fucking donation.
l mean, that is so American, isn't it?|Come on.
And then they give you a list and|a little pencil, like in the sushi bar.
You start checking off the|requirements. Whipping, spanking--
Come on, you fucking dirty|shit-cunt whore. Fucking whip me!
--nipple clamps, coprophilia.
-What's coprophilia?|-When they shit on you.
Shit in your mouth.
You can have it in the mouth|or you can have it over a glass table.
Can you imagine? They fucking|wheel out a glass table and they just...
...shit all over it,|and you're just like:
''You dirty bitch!''
Who the fuck|asks for that fucking misery?
l hope not you.
Yeah, what about me?
Anyway, you know, there's a lot--|l mean, the list is long, mate.
-lnfantilism, you've got--|-What's infantilism?
They make you a baby,|give you a bottle.
Put you in diapers, nurse you,|turn you into an infant.
l mean, it's the sickest,|most twisted place you'll ever go.
l mean, they claw your balls.
They'll tie your cock up|with a shoelace...
...stick truncheons up your ass.|lt's twisted. lt's fucking twisted.
But l'm telling you,|the moment you come....
The moment you come,|you are so sober.
I mean, so fucking sober.
You're like, ''What have I just done?|What the fuck have I just done?
I've just paid $2 7 5|for some stranger...
...some chick I don't even know,|to, like, whip me...
...and piss on my head. ''
So where's the upside?|Why do you do it? l don't get it.
Well, on a physical level,|it can be rather pleasurable.
Psychologically-- This is without|getting too deep here.
--l think it has a lot to do|with pain and self-flagellation...
...both literally and metaphorically.
l mean, l don't know whether|it's the culture or what...
...but the English, in general,|are very into pain and spanking.
The English? Really?
Yeah, you're always reading|some story in the papers...
...about some judge or vicar|bent over a hooker's knee.
l didn't know the English|were so fucked up.
Mate, the English are very...
...l mean, very fucked up.
Yeah, one sec.
Sweating like a fucking rapist.
Syd.
Come and have a look at the view.
Yeah. lt's Mallory,|the girl from the bar. l'll hook you up.
-Come back in.|-Who?
Mallory. The girl from the bar.
-She's hot. l'll hook you up.|-No, no, mate, no.
l'm too-- l'm wanked, mate.|l can't be fucking with girls.
So what? So am l.
l've been drinking this piss.|No, l can't, fuck it.
-l can't operate like this.|-Who cares?
-l'm fucking dizzy.|-She'll be in and out.
You help yourself to that,|l'm gonna leave.
-lt's been a fucking pleasure.|-Don't leave.
Please don't fucking leave.|Go get a drink, come back.
-No, mate, no.|-Bateman, one fucking drink.
Come right back.|Work Mallory, she's hot.
Fuck you. A drink of what?|What do you want?
Anything. A bottle.|Jack, tequila, whiskey.
You're staying, though, right?
-One fucking drink.|-One fucking drink.
Fine, fine, just don't go anywhere.|You'll fucking thank me.
l haven't had a bump|in like three hours.
Bateman, this is my friend Mallory.
Mallory, this is Bateman.
Hey.
You're the guy from the bar, right?
Mallory, yeah?
Bateman.
Nice to meet you.
-Sorry.|-Excuse me.
-What a clumsy idiot.|-Sorry.
Well, how do you guys|know each other?
A friend of a friend.
What friend?
l don't know, Mallory.|What's with the 20 Questions? Fuck.
Just asking. So, what,|are you leaving or something?
l'm just gonna grab us a drink|and then...
...l'm coming back.|Do you want one?
Sure, l'll have another one.
-l'll see you in a minute.|-Good.
l'll see you in a minute, Syd.
Damn, kid.
So how do you know that guy?
He got this blow. He's not|a dealer, he just knew the guy.
-Oh, yeah?|-Yeah. Good guy, right?
-Yeah.|-Hey, you don't know if London's here.
Yeah, she got here like a minute ago.
What'd she say?|Does she know l'm here?
No. She didn't say anything.
l can't believe she's leaving tomorrow.|That's just so fucked up to me.
Well, instead of staying here all night,|why don't you go out and talk to her.
-l'm sure she'd love to talk to you.|-l doubt that.
Why wouldn't she wanna talk to you?|You guys in a fight?
A fight? Mallory, she hasn't|called me in two months.
l wasn't invited tonight.|Don't you think it's odd...
...she wouldn't tell me she's moving|across the fucking country?
-She didn't call you?|-No.
-That's fucked up.|-Didn't even leave a message.
-l know that girl better than anybody.|-When's the last time you talked?
-l don't know, two months.|-Really?
-l'm sure she was gonna call you.|-When? l just checked my messages.
-ls she gonna call me from LAX?|-Dude, l don't fucking know. Man.
Fucked up!
Hey, Syd, can l ask you|something personal?
What?
Well....
lt's probably-- l don't know if it's true,|that's obviously why l'm asking...
...and since we're cool and all,|l just figured-- l'm kind of concerned.
But l-- Anyway, l kind of heard that--
-What? Something about London?|-l heard-- lt's probably bullshit.
-But l heard you--|-What, Mallory? Spit it out. Fuck.
Dude, l kind of heard that|you tried to kill yourself.
-What? Who told you that? London?|-No, it wasn't London.
-Who told you that? Who?|-Dude, l don't know.
l don't even remember.
London's the only person|that knew about that.
So any way you heard it,|it's pretty fucked up.
-So, what? lt's not true?|-No, it's not fucking true.
Dude, l don't get it.|What the fuck happened then?
You tell me what you heard happened,|then l'll tell you what really happened.
Just after this bump. Hold up.
All right. Okay.
l heard that, like, you guys had a fight|or something, and you broke out...
...she drove to your place,|found you unconscious...
...next to some sleeping pills, and you|had to get your stomach pumped.
Okay, now do you wanna know|what really happened?
Yeah. l mean, that's why l asked.
-You know my dog, Toker?|-Yeah.
-Yes, well, he's epileptic.|-Okay.
-So the vet prescribed phenobarbital.|-Pheno--? What the fuck is that?
They're barbiturates.|They're downers, for his fits.
Wait a minute. Your dog has epilepsy|and got prescribed--?
Let me finish. Anyway...
...it was our two-year anniversary|and she thought l'd forget.
-So--|-Syd, you always forget. Always.
Oh, fuck.
-l feel like such a bitch.|-Well, you are a bitch.
Open it.
-Open it.|-Okay.
Oh, my God.
This is so gorgeous. How did|you know l wanted this dress?
l saw you drooling all over it|last time we were at Valentino.
l love it!
Oh, it's so beautiful.
Thank you so much, baby.
There's more.
-What is that?|-lt's a basketball.
What--? Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Hi, little guy. Hi, little guy.
Oh, baby.
-l love you so much.|-l love you.
Look at him.|l can't believe you did this. l--
Thank you. Okay. Okay.
Hello?
Hey. Can l just call you back?
No, l'm just|in the middle of something.
All right, bye.
-Who was that?|-lt was Mallory.
Look at his paws.
-What? What is it? What's wrong?|-l heard a guy's voice on the phone.
What? Are you fucking crazy?|That was Mallory.
You swear to God?
Yes, l swear to God.
lf you don't fucking believe me,|go ahead and call her.
Syd. Are you really gonna|fucking call her?
Yeah, is Mallory there?
This is London's boyfriend.|Who the fuck is this?
London, what the fuck is this?|Who was that? Why did you lie?
-Let me just explain.|-You better fucking explain.
What? Why did you lie?|Are you cheating on me?
No, no. Listen.
l was really fucked up.|l was out with the girls.
-Fucking perfect.|-Are you gonna let me explain?
Yes, yes, you better|fucking explain, London.
Okay, the clubs were closing, we went|back to Becca's boyfriend's loft.
l fucking passed out.|l wake up the next morning...
...and the guy-- There was someone|lying in bed next to me.
Then he didn't try anything?
You're fucked up in his bed,|he didn't try anything.
l find that hard to believe.|And don't fucking lie to me.
lf you fucking lie to me,|l'm walking out the fucking door.
He tried to kiss me. But there was|nothing because l pushed him away.
-lt was not a big deal--|-Define ''tried.''
l wanna know|every single fucking detail.
Were you on or under the covers?|Was his hand on your tit?
No, Syd. He tries to kiss me|and l pushed him away.
-You pushed him away?|-Yes. l walked outside.
Mallory called me a cab,|and l went home.
lf you went home,|why is he calling you?
-How does he have your number?|-l don't know.
Maybe Becca's boyfriend|gave him the number.
But l definitely didn't give it to him.
Nothing happened. l swear to God.|Don't you fucking believe me? Please.
l don't know what to believe.
You swore that was|Mallory on the phone...
...and it wasn't.|So, what the fuck?
We've dated for two years. l believed|everything you said until now.
Now l don't know|what the fuck to believe.
lt's like your words are meaningless.
l just don't trust you anymore,|London.
l made a mistake.|l made a fucking huge mistake.
-l'm sorry.|-lf it was one fucking mistake...
...why did you say|you were gonna call back?
Why would you tell a guy|who you don't know...
...whose number you don't have,|you're gonna call him back?
What the fuck is that?
So l took a couple|of Toker's phenobarbital.
Wait, you took|your dog's medication?
Phenobarbital is phenobarbital.|lt doesn't matter if it was for my dog.
People have been taking it|recreationally for years.
Smoke that.
So wait a minute,|what does it do to you?
They make you feel good.|They're like downers.
-Okay.|-Anyway...
...l was pretty drunk|and l took like five or six of them.
-Five or six doggy downers?|-Toker's 50 pounds, he takes two.
-l'm 1 70, five or six seems pretty good.|-Shit.
The problem is that if you're drunk,|you can fall into a coma...
-...if you're not careful.|-You went into a coma?
-What's wrong with you?|-No, l didn't go into a fucking coma.
London came back|to apologize or whatever.
Syd? Syd!
Syd! Somebody, please, help!
lt's so fucked up. The fact she's telling|people that makes me so furious.
l would never do that to anyone.|lt's just fucking rude.
-They never pumped your stomach?|-No, l went to the hospital.
l took a few coherency tests.|That's it. That's all.
Do you see how reality gets twisted|when little fucking girls gossip?
Yeah. Yeah, l mean, l guess.
-What? Do you not believe me?|-No, of course l believe you, Syd.
That's why l asked. l was concerned.
Makes me so livid|that she's out there...
...telling people this warped version|of what happened.
You know what? Just please don't|go out there telling her l told you this.
That's the last thing you need.
The last thing l'm gonna do|is mention your name.
Well, honestly, if l were you, l wouldn't|even bring the shit up, okay?
lt's her last night here.|Focus on something positive.
She don't wanna hear that shit.
Fuck.
What? What's wrong?
l don't know, l don't know.
Because l start sweating|and my heart starts pounding...
...and l feel like my head's spinning|and the world's crashing.
And l get pulled down,|further into, like, the darkest...
...meanest places of my brain,|and l start suffocating.
And you feel like you're dying.
What? What? Say something.
-What would you like me to say?|-Anything. Something. l don't care.
l can't be your crutch, Syd.
Oh, you are such a miserable|fucking human being.
Miserable in what way?
The way that you're sitting there,|taking my fucking money...
...and l'm dying. Nothing you do|helps me. The Prozac doesn't help.
The lithium doesn't help. The Zoloft|doesn't help. Nothing you do helps.
You're kind of a fucking asshole.
l just wanna fucking|turn the pain off, you know?
Just give me something that|the pain can go away with, you know?
Can you do that? Don?
l think you're doing great.
When that anxiety hits,|it's terrifying...
...because you're like,|''Maybe l'm really going crazy.
Maybe l've finally|fucked with my head enough...
...that l just detached from reality.''
-You have these horrible revelations.|-Like what?
l started freaking out about death.|l became obsessed.
l couldn't conceptualize not|being here. Just not being here.
One day, Mallory, you and l|are gonna be dead. Buried. Gone.
You think about religion. People are|just swallowing these concepts.
Like God and heaven,|just to suppress our deepest fears...
...that we don't know why we're here.|lt makes no sense.
lt totally makes sense, okay?
At the same time it allows people|to go on living their everyday lives...
...without constantly obsessing over|these things. These realities.
Life, death, heaven, hell.|Existence, why we're here.
You know, who knows,|it's possible that a god does exist.
Energy, force, spirit, whatever|you wanna call it. l believe that.
Fair enough.|So, what happens when you die?
l don't know. You fucking die. Why|does there have to be an answer?
Why can't there just be mysteries?|l don't know. Your body dies.
Your actual physical being dies,|but your spirit, l do believe, lives on.
lt lives on in the world. Man, it's this|continuing thing of existence.
lt doesn't have to have|a perfect answer why.
l buy that a little bit more|than an invisible guy...
...taking checks and balances|on 6 million people.
That sounds like Santa Claus to me.
lt's like a fairy tale for adults|who can't handle death.
Yeah, because if you think about it...
...there was a time that we didn't know|that the world was round...
...or that the atom existed|or whatever, right...
...because we didn't have|the technology to observe it.
And then...one day we do, right?
So, l mean, it's totally|conceivably possible...
...that in our lifetime, we will have|the technology to observe God...
...or whatever it is that created us|and the planets...
...and the universe|and everything else. Right?
lt's important to at least have faith|in the possibility...
...of a higher being|or something, or whatever...
...because otherwise, you're just--
You're gonna drive yourself|completely fucking insane.
Right, but that really is|the operative word isn't it?
What do you mean? What word?
''Faith.'' Because without faith,|what do you have? You have nothing.
You got a few stories written 1 00|years ago, thousands of years ago...
...by people who are more|clueless than we are.
The same people who were crucifying|people who said the world was round.
So, you know. l just need more proof.|l need logic to support this religion.
Okay, if you want proof,|l will give you proof.
There was a study that was done|in Japan with physicists, okay?
They took two vats of rice...
...they put one in one room,|and one in another room.
They put a time-lapse camera on it|so they could observe it for a month.
They let all these people|come into one room...
...and they would say, ''I love you,|rice. You are the best rice.
You are the most beautiful,|most gorgeous, sexy rice there is.''
And in the other room,|they say, ''l fucking hate you, rice.
I hate you. You're the worst rice.|Fuck you, rice, you're the worst rice. ''
After a month, the rice that they|said ''l love you'' to? Still edible.
The other rice looks like|fucking black sludge.
l saw the pictures. l saw, you know,|the time-lapse video.
lt's a study. lt's real.|l saw it with my own eyes.
That's your proof right there. l mean,|it's energy. We're affecting something.
-God is energy.|-London, you're talking about rice.
Rice. lt has nothing to do with religion.|Nothing to do with God.
-l gave you proof.|-l'm sorry, l don't find proof in that.
You know what your problem is?|You're so undyingly convinced...
...that everything your parents|and teachers taught you...
...you hold it as|this indisputable, almighty truth.
Syd, can we please just drop it?|Can we just fucking drop it?
You wanna drop it because|you know l'm right. Admit that...
-...we'll talk about whatever you want.|-Shut up.
-Shut the fuck up.|-Just admit it.
You're scared to question authority|because what if they're wrong?
What if all your parents|and all your elders...
...were as scared of death as you,|and brainwashed just like you?
You're just blind to see it.
Okay, so l'm brainwashed...
...because l happen to think|that believing in something...
...other than meaninglessness|and nonexistence is a positive thing?
-Okay. That's really smart, Syd.|-l'm glad you agree with me.
l was being facetious, you dipshit.
Why are you calling me a dipshit?
Why are you calling me a dipshit?
Because...
...you always have to be right.|Why do you always have to be right?
And your ego.|Your ego, it's just huge.
-lt's just out of fucking control.|-There's no need to freak out.
Syd, because you don't know|when to stop.
You keep going|and going and going...
...until people just wanna|smash your face in.
Okay, okay.|Maybe God doesn't exist.
l guess me and the billions upon|billions and billions of other people...
...who actually pray to something|are completely deluded...
...and you are right.|You are all-knowing.
You're God, Syd. lsn't that what|you wanna fucking hear anyway?
-That everyone else is wrong and--?|-Doesn't everybody?
And l'm deluded?|And l am fucking deluded?
You are-- You're sick.|You're sick, Syd.
You need fucking mental help.
God, you make everybody crazy.|You're making me fucking crazy.
You just-- You blanket people with|your pseudo-intellectual bullshit...
...and then they can't fucking breathe.|You just suffocate people.
You don't talk to people.|You talk at them.
At least l talk about real shit.|We've been going out for two years.
What's the most intelligent|conversation we've had?
How many grams of fat|are in a slice of vegetarian pizza?
-Fuck you! You're so annoying.|-No, fuck you, London!
You are more annoying than me.
You get away with it|because no one listens.
They stare at your tits,|thinking of ways to fuck you.
l can't fucking believe that l ever fell|in love with a fucking asshole like you!
-You're such a fucking asshole!|-Stop!
-l fucking hate you!|-London. Take it easy.
Stop, stop, stop.
Stop. Stop.
Stop.
Baby. Come on, now.
l'm not gonna get her back, am l?
l don't know.
Why don't you go talk to her.
Are you leaving?
l'm getting really claustrophobic.|l need to get some air.
-l'm not freaking you out, am l?|-No, l'm so high right now.
l need a drink.
-Here, let me give you some of this.|-Can you bring that purse over?
-Yeah, of course.|-Thanks.
Here.
-Oh, thanks, man.|-Here, this is for you.
-That's way too much.|-No, please, take it.
-You sure?|-Yeah.
Thanks, man. That's really sweet.
So you--? Do you wanna|come out there or what?
Yeah, l'll be out there in a minute.|l'm gonna...
-...just hang here for a minute or two.|-All right.
See you out there, okay?
You gotta come out.
Hello, girls. What's your name?
We're at a party, come on.|What are you reading a book for?
Fancy a smoke in the little room?
We're reading, actually,|about robopathology.
Complicated little thing, aren't you?
l was gonna leave,|then l had to make a beeline to you.
Like l feel l know you|or something like that.
On a one-to-ten scale...
...you're a four. ln dim light.
One lantern so l wouldn't have to|see your heinous, disfigured face.
You are absolutely--|You're beautiful.
l have to go.|That's my chopper. But before l do--
-lt's picking you up?|-Yeah.
l invented this move:
She likes me. She's laughing.
-How old are you?|-Eighteen.
Eighteen.
Let me just get another drink now.
Stop. l'm not hitting on you.
-l like your shoes.|-You do?
-Excuse me. Hey, girl, l'm out of here.|-Already?
-l'm gonna miss you.|-l'm gonna miss you too.
-Thank you so much for coming.|-You're welcome.
-Don't get shallow on me.|-l promise. Are you kidding me?
-l'm sorry. l'll see you later.|-Nice to meet you.
Call us when you get home.|Let us know you're okay.
All right, all right, all right, come on.
Come on, Syd.
You gotta mellow out.|You gotta mellow out.
You need a beer.|You need a bottle.
Okay.
Stop doing blow.|You gotta stop doing coke.
Don't grind your teeth. lf she sees|you grind your teeth, you're fucked.
Come on, Syd.|Mellow out, mellow out.
Be a man. Be a man.
There. Get a drink.|Go out there, get a drink.
What's the worst that can happen?|What's the worst that can happen?
l can see London. So what?
Fuck. Fuck.
Okay. You fuck up tonight, it's over.
Okay.
Come on.
You know l do.
Well, if you do, if you love me,|why don't you just say it?
Why can't you just fucking say it?|Why is it so impossible for you?
lt's-- lt's three words.
lt's-- L-O-V-E Y--|lt's eight fucking letters.
You can't say eight fucking letters?
lt's not a lot of letters.
Say it.
Tell me you were not doing|cocaine in my parents' bathroom.
-What are you talking about?|-Don't ''what are you talking about'' me.
-l saw you go upstairs.|-Yeah, l went to the fucking bathroom.
-Really?|-Yeah, l had to pee.
Well, swear to God|you're not doing cocaine.
Who the fuck is Bateman?
That's his friend or some shit.|l don't know.
He's hot.
l think l want to have|hot coke sex with him.
You fucking did cocaine!|Don't fuck with me. Are you?
Yeah, man, he's hot.|l like guys with accents.
Oh, my God.
l gotta go.
-So l met your girl, mate.|-What do you mean, you met her?
Mallory, she introduced us.
l didn't say l knew you.|l didn't wanna blow your cover.
But, my God,|she is painfully gorgeous.
Yeah, no shit.
l'd go out there|and speak to her immediately.
l can't go out there like this.|l'm not thinking right.
lf she knows l'm on blow,|she won't even talk to me.
Fuck! How do l look?|Do l look like l'm on blow?
-No, you're fine.|-No, look at me. Look at my eyes.
A bit, yeah.
Come on. Drink some more booze.|You'll be fine.
What was l thinking,|getting these tonight? So stupid, Syd.
l just wanted to clear my head out.|Try and think a little bit clearer.
Now l'm so fucking spun|l can't even think straight.
-Fuck.|-Happens, mate.
l've never been particularly social|on this shit, anyway.
lt's a lonely, lonely drug.
This is fucking crazy.
l should bail. l can't do this.
-Should l bail?|-You could.
-l think you'd regret it.|-Why? Why do you say that?
Personally, l'd rather|regret something l'd done...
...than something|l was too afraid to do.
No shit.
But l haven't talked to this girl|in two fucking months.
Everybody here hates me.|These are all her friends.
lf l go out there, it is gonna get|fucking ugly. Fucking ugly.
You'd think they'd have something to|take the edge off a chick leaving you.
That'd be nice.|Look, they have this theory.
Maybe it'll help. l don't know.
Fuck knows where it comes from.|The broad strokes of it are...
...that it takes a third of the time...
...to recover from a relationship|as the relationship was long.
So, for example,|if the relationship lasted a year...
...you'll be good in four months.
-Two years, you'll be clean in eight.|-lt's not a third, it's a half.
-Mate, it's a third. Trust me.|-No, mate, it's a half.
Maybe in England it's a third.|ln America it's a half.
l dated her for two years. lt's been|six months and it's getting worse.
Six months? Come on.|What are you complaining about?
You've got two months to go.
Good behavior, maybe a month.
Bro, l appreciate the pep talk...
...but if you haven't noticed,|l'm trying to get this girl back.
Look, l don't know if first love|applies to that theory, anyway.
lt's been years, l still have these|horribly lucid dreams about Helen.
lt's almost like your brain is trying|to compensate for the absence.
You know, you think you're|still married, you're still in love...
...life's just beautiful.
All of a sudden, you wake up, look|over and she's been gone for years.
-Fucking horrendous.|-Yeah, no shit.
So you were married before?
How long ago?
Divorced three years ago.
-Who divorced who?|-lt's not that simple.
Well, what happened?|Why did you guys split?
-Long story, mate.|-Give me the abridged version.
''The abridged version.''|Look, l don't know.
The relationship just didn't work|on so many levels.
We both had one foot out the door|for two years...
...of our two-and-a-half-year|marriage.
You know, but it's weird. You know,|when they tell you they're leaving...
...it's like you don't even|feel the hollowness.
lt's an emptiness|within an emptiness...
...and you're left with|slightly less than nothing.
The person you were when you met|doesn't exist anymore. You're gone.
-So she left you?|-Syd, it's very fucking complicated.
What happened?|Did you cheat on her?
-No, no. lt's irrelevant.|-lrrelevant? How is it irrelevant?
Besides money, infidelity's the most|relevant reason why people split up.
Yeah, yeah. True, true.
Come on, man.|l thought we were talking.
Let's talk, let's talk.|Why did your wife leave you?
Syd, it's not a pleasant scene|for me, please.
Oh, my scene's pleasant?
Mate, l've been 2 1 before.|l know your pain.
But where you're pushing me now|is not a place you wanna go.
Wait. Are you trying to say|that since you're older than me...
-...your pain is somehow more?|-That's the case.
Listen, first of all...
...you don't have the slightest clue|what pain l've been through.
Just since you're|a couple decades older...
...doesn't mean that your pain is more|than mine. lt doesn't.
Secondly, don't make|blind comparisons...
...when you have no fucking clue|what you're comparing.
You think having your heart broken|is pain? You think losing God is pain?
Mate, l went through that trivial shit|when l was 20.
l'm 40 now, mate.
Where you're trying to push me now|is not a place you wanna go.
So why don't you do yourself a favor,|and don't fucking go there with me.
You're a fucking child.|You're just a kid.
A kid?
Listen, you pompous, limey fuck...
...if you had one tenth my pain,|you'd be psychologically crippled.
Mate, seriously, fuck off.|All we're doing is projecting shit here.
Look, take a step back.|Let's relax, shall we?
-Do a bit of gear. Come on.|-Fuck the gear. l don't want that shit.
-More for me.|-lt's Bateman, right?
-Nice to see your memory is still intact.|-Well, Bateman...
...let me give you a glimpse into|my life, insight into my fucking pain.
-Mate, it's not necessary. Truly.|-No, it is necessary.
And if you didn't think it was,|you wouldn't have pushed my buttons.
But you did.|And if you don't wanna hear it...
...stop snorting my shit|and get the fuck out of the bathroom.
Technically, it's my shit,|but l can see you're passionate, so go.
So this fucker...
...this fucking guy out in L.A.,|who my chick is now in love with...
...he's, you know, endowed.
-She told you that?|-Yeah. So l needed to know how big.
Not that l give a fuck|about another guy's dick.
lt's one of those things|you feel like you need to know.
So we're in an argument,|and l was pushing her.
l was like, ''How big is he?''
She was like, ''Let's not make an issue|out of it.'' And l said, ''No, fuck that.''
And she says,|''Ten and a half inches.''
-Jesus.|-Yeah, you believe that shit?
She could have at least|rounded it down.
-The girl's trying to hurt you, mate.|-Yeah, no shit.
But it really fucked with me, you know.|Knowing that this guy is in L.A...
...with the only woman l love,|fucking her with 1 0 and a half inches.
l'm chasing her around like a puppy,|doing anything l can to get her back.
And it crushed me!|lt still fucking crushes me!
Sorry, mate.
-How exactly do you deal with that?|-You don't deal with it.
lt deals with you.
God, it eats at you|and it eats at you, you know?
We'd get in these fights,|and l'd say the most horrible things.
l'd be like, ''You just want a fat cock|in your fat snatch, you fucking whore.''
You know, l'd--|Just mean, horrible things.
l'd be so fucking angry, you know?
l used to say the same shit, mate. l|used to say the most horrendous shit.
Why? What'd she do?
She didn't really do anything.
You know, l imagine that|a lot of it had to do with me.
A lot of it had to with my hang-ups|and depression and shit.
But, my God, l used to say the worst|shit to her. l tormented that girl.
l lived with her for three and a half|fucking years and l hated her.
So, what was the final snap?
Did you cheat on her?|Did she cheat on you?
No, no. God, no.
-How do you know?|-Because l didn't, you know? l didn't.
-How do you know she didn't?|-l know she didn't. lt wasn't her thing.
How do you know?
l was with the most beautiful girl|in the universe.
She didn't fuck me|for two fucking years!
-Why?|-l don't know.
Because we fought. l was in therapy.
l don't-- l don't-- Look, l don't know.
lf you wanna know it is, l'll tell you.
You remember sentences|that people say to you.
They stick in your mind like gunshot|wounds that never fucking heal.
l remember what my ex-wife|said to me when we started dating.
She said, ''l love it when a guy|fucks me four, five times a night.''
-Four, five times a night?|-Yeah. Truly.
l was like, ''You was with some guy...
...who fucked you|four, five times a night?''
-You wanna know what pain is?|-What?
-l'll tell you what pain is, you fuck.|-Why you calling me a fuck?
-l'll tell you what pain is, you fuck.|-Why you calling me a fuck?
Because, my friend,|you brought me here...
...and l didn't particularly|wanna go here, but now l am.
lf you don't wanna go|where l'm about to go...
...then tell me right now|and l'll walk out the door...
...l'll phone my therapist|and that will be it, okay?
No, fuck that, l wanna hear this.|You're not going anywhere.
-You wanna know what it is?|-Yes, l wanna know what it is.
Motherfucker, you wanna know|what it is? Pain, my friend...
...is when the woman you love|wants to fuck you...
...four, five times a night,|and you can't!
-Why?|-Why? Why?
l'll tell you why.|Because l'm an impotent man!
Motherfucker, that's pain!
That's fucking pain!
When your wife wants|to fuck you four times a night...
...and you fucking can't!
You know that some fucker|before you could.
And you know that some fucker|after you will!
Well, l couldn't|cope with that, could l?
That sense of ruination...
...that insolvency|that burns in your soul.
l couldn't fuck my wife!
Do know what|that fucking means, mate?
Do you understand|what impotent rage really is?!
-l'm sorry.|-You have no fucking idea, mate!
-l'm sorry.|-Oh, you're sorry?
Oh, you're sorry, are you?
You dare, you fucking dare|ask me if there's a God?
Well, man, l feel forsaken.|l feel cheated, you cunt!
l've lost in the big game,|and nothing else fucking matters.
lt doesn't matter what you do.|lf you can't hack it in the sack, mate...
...if you can't hack it|in the game of love and sex...
...you are shit, my friend.
Because you can't do what the other|man can do to your fucking wife, mate!
l know what you mean.
No, motherfucker,|you do not know what l mean!
You couldn't possibly know|what the fuck l mean!
l failed.
l fucking failed, mate.
And l'm still failing|every fucking day of my life!
Every day.
Every fucking day.
You know....
Thought you were gonna|clock me for a minute.
l wasn't gonna hit you.|l'm projecting.
You should see my group therapy|sessions. They're fucking psychotic.
Yeah, l'll bet.
Mate, do yourself a favor,|please, for me.
Go and talk to your chick.
l can't. To be honest, l'm thinking|about making for the elevator.
l can't go out like this.|She doesn't even want me here.
Look, l hate to break it to you, mate...
...but by now|she knows you're here...
...and, unfortunately,|time is not on your side.
What are you gonna do,|wait outside like a fucking stalker?
Wouldn't be the first time.
-Go, man, go. Come on.|-No, l can't, l can't, l can't.
Listen to me. God.
Listen to me, you might not have|a 1 0-and-a-half-inch cock...
...but at least you can still fuck her.
So quit worrying about|all the bullshit.
The fact is, she's here, you're here.
Life's too short|to be a pussy, mate. Truly.
Come on.
l think l would love to do that. l don't|really know a lot of people there.
Not a whole lot going on in L.A.,|but we'll find something.
Hey, London.|Could l talk to you for a second?
Yeah. What is it?|What do you want?
l wanna know if we can go somewhere|and talk for a second, please.
You don't wanna talk here?|We can't just talk right here?
Please.
Syd,|A, this is my going-away party...
...and l think it would be pretty uncool|to the people who threw it for me...
...if l left just because|you wanted to talk.
And, B, l don't know|if you noticed...
...but we were kind of|in the middle of a conversation...
...so l don't know what to tell you.
Listen, l'm gonna grab another drink.|Can l--? Can l get you something?
Actually, yeah.
l'd love something.|Something strong.
-Fuck me up.|-All right.
What about you, bruiser?|What are you drinking?
ls that a bottle of cockblocker?
So....
l heard you've been snorting drugs|all night. Really productive.
l heard you told people|l tried to kill myself.
That's really fucking great of you.|l really appreciate it.
Who the fuck told you that?|l would never say that.
-You know that.|-The fact is, l have known you...
...since you were 1 0.|We have been through everything.
And you don't have|the decency to call--
-Please keep your voice down?|-What the fuck is that?!
-You wanna talk? Fine, let's go.|-Get the fuck off me.
l'm sorry, excuse me.
-l'm sorry, excuse me. l'm sorry.|-What?
-London, are you okay?|-Yeah.
We're just gonna--|We're gonna go and talk.
Yeah? Because if you want, l'll call|security and have him taken out.
Becca, could you do me a favor?|Stay out of this?
You've been doing coke in the|bathroom all night so don't tell me...
...what l can and can't do|in my own fucking house...
...considering you|weren't even invited.
lt's cool, Bec. We're gonna go.|lt's gonna be fine.
lt's not cool, London.|Baby, he wasn't invited.
You didn't want him here,|l didn't want him.
-No one wants him here.|-Becca, can you relax? Please?
-Don't tell me to relax.|-Why can't you relax for two seconds?
-We're leaving.|-You're shouting at my fucking party.
Also you're psychotic.|You couldn't take a hint...
...if it smashed you in the face.|She doesn't want to be with you.
-Not even 20 seconds.|-We're leaving. Let's go.
-Bec, we're leaving. l'm sorry.|-You know what?
l'm sorry, London, and l'm not|trying to be a bitch here...
...but when you come back,|you come back alone.
l don't want you|in my house again, all right?
Or l will call the cops.
Becca, l'm really trying|to be calm here, all right?
Fuck off. l'm so tired of you|and your psycho fucking shit.
You wanna talk about psycho?
-Let's talk about your fucked-up life.|-Stop it.
-Fuck you!|-Fuck this! You wanna fuck with me?
You wanna fuck with me?|Let's do it right fucking now.
Why don't you fuck off, alrighty?
You weren't even invited to this.
-You wanna fuck with me?|-Stop it. We're leaving right now!
How many friends did you fuck|freshman year? Fifteen, 20?
l think l lost count. Was it|the whole fucking pledge class?
Jay, you never really know|your girlfriend.
lsn't that a total mind-fuck?
You're a fucking bastard!
You fucking wanker! Get the fuck|out of my fucking house!
Hey!
-Fuck you.|-Come on, then!
Fucking prick.|You want some, you fucking slag?
Hey, Syd!
Here, you cunt.|Have some of that, you fuck.
Fuck off. Come on, then.
Hey, Syd!
Get off, you fucking asshole.
You fucker. Get the fuck off him.
Come on.
Wait a minute, l gotta get Bateman.
What? Who the fuck is Bateman?
Come on, you cunts!|You want some, do you? Do you?
Let's go, Bateman. Come on.
-My coat. My Burberry coat.|-Fuck it, leave the jacket.
-l've had it 1 0 fucking years.|-l'll get it.
-Are you fucking crazy?|-We'll be downstairs.
Guy's fucking nuts.
-You're bleeding.|-l am so sorry.
-Where?|-This is fucking insane.
-You are insane.|-l am so sorry.
lf you wanna go back, l understand.
-You don't wanna talk?|-Yeah, l wanna talk. l mean....
Well, where?|Where do you wanna go?
My car's two blocks away|if you want coffee.
-Yeah, okay.|-All right. Okay.
Look, you're probably not|gonna believe this at all...
...but l was kind of glad|when l heard you were at the party.
Ever since you and l broke up,|l've wanted...
...to have a normal conversation,|just a normal conversation with you.
And l just feel like every time|l see you, it just gets so, like....
Like, weird and chaotic and scrambled,|and l can't organize my thoughts...
...and l can't even express the most|basic things l want to say to you.
l know. Me too.
Whatever we had when we were|together, when we were in love...
...that feeling of just being able to lie in|bed with someone for days and days...
...and not give a fuck|about the outside world...
...is gone.
And l feel like there's nothing|l can do to ever get it back.
Do you know how painful that is?
Yeah. Yeah, l do.
l cried for weeks when we broke up.
You cried for weeks?
Yes.
The hardest thing|l've ever dealt with in my life.
How long did you go through that?
A long time. A long time.
l mean, the first month,|it was so fucking bad. And then...
...you know, slowly, it gets better.
That's the difference|between you and me, London.
l'm still going through it.
l tried to call you|a dozen times today.
l'm terrified. l'm-- l'm afraid.
Of what? What are you afraid of?
l'm afraid of falling in love|with you again.
-Sorry, Syd.|-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, man, you fucked|your eye up.
Yeah, great party, mate.
lt was fucking insane.
-But good chat, seriously.|-Definitely.
You know, they say the greatest|conversation you'll ever have...
-...is with a stranger?|-Who says that?
Some useless cunt.
You guys need a ride?|We can go uptown.
Me and Mallory....
Don't know. We're gonna|catch a late drink...
...cup of tea, something or other.
Raise the flag, perhaps.
Good luck. Thank you.
That's it. Thank you, mate. Truly.
London, lovely name, darling.
-Thanks.|-Nice to meet you.
-Have a safe flight.|-Nice to meet you.
-Come by the bar, all right?|-l will.
London, call me. Have a safe flight.
We're gonna catch a little drink.
All right.
Can l ask you something?
Yeah.
You do love him?
l never said l was in love with him.
Listen, Syd.
lt's gonna be a really,|really long time...
...before, you know,|l fall in love with anybody...
...the way that l was in love with you.
What time is it?
lt's like 6:30.
Six-thirty? Fuck. Shit.
My plane leaves in like an hour.|Shit. Shit. Shit.
l will see you again.
l promise.
l'm gonna miss you so much.
l'm gonna miss you too.
l gotta go.
Sorry.
-Hello.|-Hi.
Sorry, l am-- l'm just really late.
-l don't even know my flight number.|-That's all right.
Just for one second, okay?
-Here's my lD.|-Thank you.
Just give me a few minutes|while l look for your information.
Okay. Bye.
Goodbye.
Bye.
Bye.
Okay, miss,|l have your flight information.
Sorry.
l think l might have missed my plane.|Can you make sure l'll be all right?
London?
l love you.
-Can you give me a second, please?|-Sure. No problem.
That's the first time you said it first.
-Here you go. You're all set.|-Sorry.
Okay.
-So l'm set? Great.|-Yeah.
-Here's your ticket.|-Thank you.
-l'm not really sure where to go.|-Gate 35. Upstairs.
Thank you and have a great flight.