Look at Me: XXXTentacion (2022) Movie Script

Okay, guys, so here is my first vlog.
Today, I am basically going
to tell you guys about myself
because I've never really let you in much,
and I feel like that's
the best thing to do right now
to ideally strengthen the bond.
So, here's my room.
Uh, here's Stitch.
This is my favorite
Disney character, ever.
He's very relatable.
today I am basically going
to be telling you guys about myself.
Uh, currently, I'm in
a huge state of paranoia,
um, just due to m-my past
and just the things and the people
I've associated myself with previously.
I've tried to put myself in a position
to ideally be able
to motivate others to--
I mean, for myself to suffice,
when it comes to this negative shit
'cause, like, bro, this shit--
It's, like, trying to consume me.
It's almost like it's...
like it's trying to get inside
of my mind, you know?
I apologize for being so distant.
I've been paranoid.
I've been needing help,
and I haven't been getting the ideal help,
uh, I really want.
[crowd cheering]
[crowd booing]
Los Angeles, make some
motherfuckin' noise!
[crowd cheering]
[indiscernible] jump off
that shit so bad, bro.
- I know.
MAN: ...but trust me,
they like that here.
MAN 2: Come on, man.
He was moving like he was on a mission.
[indiscernible conversation]
I remember being at these shows
and watching how much
he controlled the stage.
Watched how commanding
his voice, actions were.
Like, he was a natural leader.
- I'm gon' count down to three.
When I say, y'all motherfuckers jump.
One. Two. Three.
I've been doing her ass, ayy
Can't keep my dick in my pants, ayy
My bitch don't love me no mo', ayy
She kick me out, I'm like, "Vro"
JOHN CUNNINGHAM: I always felt
like people use the term rapper
to describe him
mostly because he was Black.
But he never-- He was not a real rapper.
He could rap, but I don't think
that means you're a rapper.
Okay, she keep callin',
she keep callin'
Every single night
Day and night, on my mind
Please don't kill the vibe
He was doing so many different things
with rock and R&B and hip-hop.
And I'm like, "Yo, how did the kid
that made that made this?"
Don't give up, don't give a fuck
Don't give up, don't give a fuck
He figured out a way to create X.
And he found ways
to get attention to himself,
and even though it was
negative things, it worked.
For him to do all the things
that he's done in two years,
it was incredible.
You know, that's the main reason
why we're all so hurt.
Everybody was so excited
to see this next step
in the transformation
that we never got to see.
The rapper XXXTentacion
has been shot, apparently--
a rising star here in South Florida--
Police say the artist,
whose real name is Jahseh Onfroy,
was leaving a Broward County
motorcycle shop yesterday
when he was shot by two men
who ran up to his car.
He was rushed to the hospital...
MARC HOGAN: The deep connection
that his fans have with his music,
that's a fact, that's a real thing.
His music obviously means
so much to so many.
- X's music saved my life.
- For three years, he's helped--
This dude helped me get through
depression and a bunch of stuff, man.
CROWD [chanting]:
Long live X! Long live X!
Long live X!
But the thing about his fame
and commercial success,
it started with
this horrific alleged crime.
MAN: Fifteen-year-olds
will in some ways idolize him,
and he was an incredible talent.
He should not be anyone's idol.
- Show some respect and leave it alone.
You know, not make a mockery
of the man's life and death.
MAN: The internet is a place
for this big conversation.
He was the topic of the conversation
any time he did anything.
- You know, there's been
a lot of fucking pressure
in the media and shit
to, to not fuck with this dude.
And I also just want to say, fuck anybody
who has disrespected him
after his death...
I do think he was changing.
It's just that he left behind the things
that hurt others and himself.
We just knew violence sells,
and it's the, it's a type of energy
that we were tapping into to sell shit.
You know what I mean?
And that's basically what we used it as.
[hip- hop music playing]
[crowd cheering]
Fucked up, fucked up, fucked up
Fucked up, fucked up, fucked up
Fucked up, fucked up
You done fucked up
You done fucked up
You done fucked up
CROWD [sings]:
You done fucked up
Fucked up, fucked up, fucked up
Fucked up, fucked up, fucked up
Fucked up, fucked up, fucked up
Fucked up, yeah
You done fucked up, yeah
You done fucked up, yeah
You done fucked up
Fucked up
Fucked up, fucked up, fucked up
- Y'all niggas, now that I'm successful,
suck my dick!
You done fucked up
Bitch, you done fucked up
Yeah, yeah, yeah
You done fucked up
MAN: You ready?
You got me nice lighting,
so I can look pretty.
WOMAN: Yeah, but actually...
- In my situation,
they definitely should pay attention
to what I am as a person
rather than a character.
But it is hard to mend
these two things together
if everything that I portray as an artist
is purely art.
So, it's hard to tell if, as a person,
that anything that is controversial
or spoken on about me
is remotely even true.
You never know who you're fucking with
unless you fully delve
into them as a person.
So, I definitely think
it is very, very important
to understand who are--
you are fucking with
and who you're listening to.
Yes, I do.
- I decided to make this documentary
because I felt like
my son's story needed to be told.
["So Jah S'eh" by Bob Marley playing]

I was in labor for 24 hours.
He came out super light-skinned,
gray eyes, and I was like,
"Oh my god, where did you come from?"
And he was my little Tweety Bird.
He was small and cute and yellow.
He was just a calm, beautiful baby.
Very serious kid.
It was as if he was an old soul.
Shall sit in the sidewalk
So Jah seh
Jahseh's dad would come sometimes,
pick him up on the weekends,
we would share him
during holidays or summers and whatnot.
He just didn't help us financially.
I was 17 when I had him.
In my case, I didn't have any support,
so it's just me paying rent,
paying all the bills,
and having to work.
And so, Jahseh was always
with a babysitter or at daycare.
I would make sure that he had
the best of everything,
for sure.
I would say he was extremely spoiled.
But I think he always felt alone.
His father loved him, and he was present
until he couldn't be.
He got arrested after Jahseh turned 10,
and he got 10 years in prison.
He hasn't physically saw him in person,
um, since then.
JAHSEH: When I was growing up,
my mom tried to give me love
by financially taking care of me
because she's seen that
as the most important thing.
As long as I ate,
and as long as I had clothes,
and as long as I had a place to stay,
that was the most important thing to her.
She was never able
to emotionally nurture me.
So, that left some sort
of self-hate for myself
because I felt like I wasn't enough,
you know, for a certain amount of time.
- There was, like,
a shift in his behavior,
shift in his personality.
At the age of 10,
he just started wildin' out.
- He would, like, act up in school.
You know, class disruption, fights a lot.
I stayed on him 24/7,
and we would bump heads
and we did not get along.
When he was 13, we got him evaluated,
and they told me that he was bipolar.
They wanted me to put him
on medication, and I refused
because where I'm from,
we don't label kids,
and I don't really believe in, you know,
dosing kids up with drugs
or anything like that.
I would prefer going through counseling
and trying to get
to the root of the problem.
And we did that.
It just got really, really bad.
He was able to get kicked out
of every school in our district,
which is why he ended up
living with my mom.
[sucks air through teeth]
WOMAN: Go and take the picture,
what I tell you to take.
Play so much, man.
My mom, she lives, like,
right across the street from the hood,
and he just made his way over there
and he enjoyed it.
[hip-hop music playing]
[indiscernible shouting]
He started skipping school.
At the time, he would always say,
"I wanna be a rapper."
And so, as an incentive, I offered to,
"You don't have to get straight A's.
Just stay in school.
Don't get into any problems."
And I would have him go
to the studio on the weekends.
He's showing signs of corruption
That went from something to nothing
Put his hands on his mother
And now he's fucking his cousin
- I remember him making
his, like, first song
at, like, 14, and we were like, "Yo."
Like, we didn't expect that at all.
It was, it was, like, almost, like,
he was telling a whole story.
That was, like, the first time
we heard him, like, curse, too.
It was very inappropriate.
But I was like,
"All right, you got something."
All my life I dream these things
Seems so real, that I see these things
Until I D-I-E,
all you niggas just P-I-E
That nigga can't sleep on me
Ah, ah
- I kept up my end of the bargain
until it didn't work anymore.
He was caught up in a few home invasions.
He was caught selling drugs,
he was caught with a gun.
He had all types of charges.
- It rolling?
MAN: Yeah, I'm just gonna roll.
- All right. Hi, my name is XXX.
- My name is Ski Mask the Slump...
- God. I have, I have a skinny dick.
- I don't know what he talkin' 'bout.
Pussy nigga know he done fucked up
Lame nigga better know his luck up
Pussy nigga know he fucked up
SKI: Honestly,
I didn't know what to make
of Jahseh at first.
I met him in juvenile jail.
I was at least 16.
I think he was younger
than me at the time.
And he told me his charges,
and I was like,
"This nigga is in here for armed robbery?"
[laughs] "Uh, for, for home invasions?"
I'm like, "Okay."
What really connected us was
we would be beatbox, like, making beats
on the table, on the chairs and shit.
And we would just be freestyling.
Belittling vanity, watch
that nigga when we cast it
Half-wet, I leave him
half-alive in the basket
And if you not a savage,
succumb to the madness
We would just, like,
feed off of each other.
We both were the big brother
and little brother
at the same time to each other.
We didn't even know what
we wanted to do at the time.
We just know we wanted
to make a stand for who we are
and just be ourselves, say fuck it,
like no matter the consequences.
At that point, we were like,
"We don't really want a job.
"And if we need a job
"and the job doesn't want us
because we have face tats,
"then that's not the job
we would really want
for ourselves or some shit."
Like, fuck it.
This is what we're doing.
MAN: Real piece of shit.
- Dirty piece of shit.
Back then, we were stealing shit.
Well, I was... [clears throat]
I was stealing cough syrup and selling it.
We were just had a lot
of drugs really back then,
and we found a lot of ways to make money,
but because our parents wasn't
helping us with nothing really
because they just thought we were
fucking horrible kids at the time.
I remember Cleo's mom picking
me and Jahseh up one day,
and this is the first time
I meet the lady,
and she says, "Why're you
hanging out with him?
He's a bad kid." [laughs]
This is what she tells me,
"He's a bad kid.
Why are you,
why are you chilling with this boy?"
I feel like a lot of times
Jahseh did feel like
even his family didn't really
like him at that point.
He didn't understand
how his family treated him,
like he was just this bad child.
But if you think in Jah's mind back then,
Jah didn't think that he was just
this bad child trying to rebel.
Jah thinks he's just being Jah.
You know what I mean?
Like, I'm just being me
and niggas hate me,
and I hate myself 'cause niggas hate me,
and I need to change myself, basically.
I've seen him literally choose
to sleep on the streets
more times than go home.
He didn't explain it to me all the time,
but I just knew he even felt better
sleeping with me in the car.
- When he left home,
he left home, nobody kicked him out.
And it was as a result of him
not wanting to follow the rules,
or not follow curfew,
or just doing whatever he wanted to do.
- And then he just
stopped going to school.
He just was like, "Yo, good."
[indiscernible chatter]
SKI: I don't even know why
we wanted a group at that time,
but I was like, "Nah, we gotta
make a group of some kind,"
and I was, like, very ready.
And me and Jah rode that shit out
'til the wheels fell off, and then, um,
out of nowhere, Jah wanted
to make his own group, too.
And that was Members Only.
[indiscernible shouting]
[horn honking]
[indiscernible shouting]
FLYBOY TARANTINO: Jah used to always
be like, "I'm 'bout to start this shit
called Members Only, bro."
There was really
no, like, planned creation.
It was, kind of, just like a manifestation
type of thing for him, you know?
And it was, kind of, like a brotherhood.
KILO JUNIOR: Mostly everybody
would come to my house
'cause I had a backyard,
and we would just, like,
sit back there and smoke,
and write lyrics,
and listen to mad instrumental--
- SlapBox.
- SlapBox.
Jah ordered a snowball microphone,
like one of the cheapest
microphones you could get,
and we just started recording on it.
We were recording in bedrooms,
my friend's bedroom, friend's closet.
It doesn't matter what it was,
he would pull that little thing
out with the three prongs
and we would just record that shit.
And that's why our music
came with distortion
because the type of mic
that we were using,
but we would use it
to our advantage, really.
COOLIECUT: It was, like,
the SoundCloud era of rap.
We didn't know what we were doing.
- People loved the first song
that Jah dropped on his SoundCloud.
It was "Vice City."
I seem depressed
Always being bothered, never less
Keeping me out of prison
and putting me to the test
They ask me what is happiness
You write it on a check
Or you feel it on the sweat
When your dick is in the breast, huh
[indiscernible shouting]
- Members Only in this bitch!
What really had us noticed,
what really, like, rang bells
where we're from
was the shows.
- Members Only in this bitch!
Members Only in this bitch!
Fuck that house,
I hit that fucking lick
Fuck the state and fuck all of them
Feds tip toeing with my bitch
I been going hard with Forgiatos
In the fucking whip
I'm gon' fuck your friends,
get on your knees
And suck my fucking dick
They be like, "X you not workin' hard
You not droppin' shit"
I been shopping on my homies
Dropping off them checks and shit
Jah always had this aura about him
that he was not gonna
let us not be accepted.
FLYBOY: We would pull up
six to seven deep,
and we're gonna grab
everybody else off the walls.
BASS SANTANA: So, he always
had a huge crowd of people around him
and then, everybody looking at it like,
"What the fuck is this? Or who is he?"
- Yo, real shit.
I appreciate all y'all
for coming out here.
Even if you didn't come
out here for me, man,
I appreciate all y'all, man.
BASS: He had a way
of making people feel wanted,
needed, important,
and that's what would
gravitate them towards him.
- He was so comfortable
showing his vulnerability.
- Yeah.
It kinda made kids relate to him.
[keyboard clacking]
They reach out to him and say,
"Bro, you saved my life."
I can't seem to find
someone's shoulder
Who will I rely on when it's over
JAHSEH: The more I got
into that creative process
and really being imaginative,
and really thoroughly, like,
studying the dictionary and the thesaurus,
and then I really started
liking making music,
and then, I started using it
to, kind of, cope
and as an antidepressant.
I found a new comfortability within myself
when I recorded music.
I dug my nails into my arms
She turned and laughed at all my scars
What is my worth
What is my worth
- Let's see, let's see if this shit work.
I think this connection bad.
All right, it is working, I guess.
How are you guys?
Let's wait 'til we get more people.
Damn. Damn, bros.
Already a hundred. Jesus Christ.
Already 200? Jesus Christ.
All right, I fuck with y'all.
Y'all out here going hard.
I left my DMs open up.
That's what nobody realizes.
My DMs are open,
so people can talk to me
because I really like
to, like, talk to my friends.
I don't like to just be
an ignorant asshole
and act like nobody's there, you know?
That's why, I, like--
when I, when I get depressed,
I realize that I have you guys
and it just, it motivates me
to be a different person.
It motivates me to not be
so fucking down, you know?
Like, look at this, there's--
We have over,
we've had over a thousand people in here
and, like, I'm just one person, you know?
So, to show-- to have
that many people supporting me,
you, you not know how awesome that feels.
That's fucking awesome.
BRUNO DICKEMZ: A lot of people
know me as Bruno Dickemz.
I've been a porn star for about 12 years.
I created my own website.
You got to show us
some skin, baby. Skin to win.
We shot reality-type porn.
I followed around artists
in the underground scene.
Me meeting a lot of artists,
you know, I decided that I wanted
to manage some of these artists
because I saw a lot of potential.
But, you know, I was going
to a lot of the shows,
and there was one guy that was starting
to make a little noise in South Florida.
I didn't know who he was.
And everybody around me's
like, he's the kid
we were telling you about, X.
You know, he's, like,
coming up in the scene.
- We weren't on the level that he was on.
It was him and Ski on a particular level,
and it was our job to help
that grow and formulate.
He started off by networking with artists
that was already running the
South Florida underground scene.
WiFi was one of those people
that already was up there.
Robb was another one.
He was already up there.
- I just saw his energy.
Like, it's hard to explain.
Like, just his presence.
Like, he could make noise
in the room and not even speak.
These kids, man, they looked like
they were ready to die for Jah.
He was already XXXTentacion.
The way he got that name he came up with,
that name was his, uh, you know,
infatuation with porn.
So, once he heard,
oh, there's this porn star
that shoots porn with underground artists,
he's like, "Oh, this is
the guy I got to meet."
I think he was living with his grandma.
He started coming over more
than he was supposed to.
So, I was like, "You coming here a lot."
I wake up in the morning,
he's sleeping on the couch.
I'm like, "Hey, man,
y-you don't live here."
He's like, "Bro,
where I'm at, man, I'm going crazy."
Like, "I need to,
I need to be somewhere else.
Like, please let me move in."
I was like, "All right,
I'll officially be your manager.
You can move in."
And I started managing Ski, too.
[hip-hop music playing]
When he was able to stay at Bruno's,
I think he was able to hone in
on his artistry,
like the screamo-type distorted beat.
No one was delivering like him,
you feel me?
Fucked up, fucked up, fucked up
This is, like, one of the first times
we've seen Jah yell at the mic.
The porn girls in their house
was goin' in here like,
"What the fuck is wrong
with this nigga, dawg?"
We were literally living in a porn house.
We'd see crazy shit every day.
And then the rages at the concerts,
like all the energy just mashed,
we were living it.
- I think that's when things
started picking up for him
because he started making better songs
'cause he was able to jump
into that character,
if you know what I mean?
And on top of that, he was doing
a lot of shit,
like he was beating niggas up
on camera and shit.
- Hey, Periscope.
So, we got a very, very, very, very
extra interesting story today.
So, basically, this nigga
that owes us some cash
pulled up to the crib,
and he thinks, like,
he thinks we're cool with him.
So, my manager was
letting him kick it in there.
But basically, I'm about
to just beat this nigga's ass,
and you guys get to watch it firsthand.
If anybody fucked with X's friends,
X is going to deal with it.
The kid he beats up in the bathroom
was somebody that owed me money.
And I told the kid, man,
if you can't pay me the $500,
we're going to have to fight this out.
We're going to have
to record this for my website.
Are you cool with it? He agreed with it.
X pulls up. He's like, "Where's he at?"
We need to shoot the scene.
I was like, "He's in the house,
"but we're doing the scene tomorrow,
so please, can we just wait?"
Because I know if you go
and try to fight him now,
this thing's not going
to happen, you know?
Yeah, and he didn't listen.
[knocking on door]
MAN: Yeah.
JAHSEH: Come here, bro.
Come here.
Fuck you...
SKI: Honestly, there'd
be times where I'd be like,
"What the fuck is wrong with this guy?
Is something not right with this guy?"
That's when people didn't
really want to be around Jah.
To be completely honest, a lot of people
that was around Jah
didn't want to be around Jah
before Jah got onto shit.
People hated Jah, to be completely real.
- Come on. Come on, brother?
- Fucking play with me, bro.
[indiscernible shouting]
He was a small dude, but he had
a very loud Napoleon complex to him.
I was always the person
that people would be coming to
to calm Jahseh down.
I basically was always the one
that looked, looked him in the face.
I'm just like, "I'm here, bro,
and I'm going to be here for you."
And I think I was one of the first people
to really do that for him
and show him that I'm going
to love you either way.
That's why he really
loved me and felt like
I was one of his true,
really true best friends.
Because no matter what crazy shit Jah did,
I had to look him in the eye and hug him
and tell him I loved him
for him to understand
that you're going to get better.
Jah hated himself
at one point, and a lot of points.
- Uh, emotions.
He probably-- I felt like he hated
his own anger, you know what I mean?
And he was trying to learn
how to control that.
His emotions, basically.
And not let them to get the best of him.
That was really just his biggest battle,
himself really, yeah.
It took a series of things
for Jah to get the way he was.
I mean, Jah used to tell me he used to see
his mom get beat up when he was younger
or some shit like that, Cleo.
CLEOPATRA: His dad tried
to put his hands on me a few times.
It didn't work out well.
I didn't call the cops on him
because where I'm from, that's also taboo.
But I hauled ass real quick.
I wasn't about to be nobody's, um--
You know, my story don't go like that.
You know, we're Jamaican,
so we're used to ass whoopings.
Like, we get our ass beat,
like, with hoses
and two-by-fours and you name it.
And so it's passed on
from generation to generation.
I don't know if his dad beaten
him with anything crazy,
but he would, he would snuff him
and he would, like, beat him
if he would tell him
to study his timetables,
if he would get something wrong,
so whenever he would get
in problems at school,
Dad would come give him a whooping.
A good one.
Um, but he wasn't abusive.
I wouldn't say he was abusive
or anything like that.
- We was born into a world
that taught us that men have to fight,
and this has been going on
for thousands of years
before we even came here.
So, this is the way the world works.
Our parents, big brothers, big cousins
don't want us to be at a disadvantage.
So, when my big cousins used to be beating
my ass as a kid,
they was training me to not get
my ass beat as an adult.
- Same on this end.
- So, at the same time, it's, like,
it might affect us negatively, personally,
but generally, generally, you feel me?
Generally, it, it protects us.
It's, it's, your weapon can also be
the same thing that kills you.
JAHSEH: If you got a fear,
you can, it's hard to be angry.
If you got someone that
you're scared of in your life,
it's real hard to be angry.
Dad got locked up when I was, like, 10.
Who was I to fear, my mom?
Who was I to fear, some stranger?
I feared nobody.
So, my anger took control.
And whenever anybody
would do anything to me,
I would act out on.
Fear left, so anger replaced it.
MAN: Ohh!
MAN: Like everything
that he did, when it came
to beefin', fightin', and poppin' off,
even though it was
mental instability there,
he would still go on live and he recorded
knowing goddamn well
this is good for my career.
- I guess he just knew
what they wanted to see,
and he just took advantage of it,
just like anybody else would.
Ayy, yo
Ayy, ayy, yo
Try me, might fight
fist fuck, on sight
Wrist heavy, fat dyke
pop Molly, Mike Ike
I got glacial white ice
and my bitch rack nice
And I do fight dykes
ride my dick like a bike
JAHSEH: I would do
little things that I knew
would get people's attention.
This is what people want to see.
I said, I know what you wanted.
And then I just started marketing bullshit
that I knew the kids would like
to get them to go on my page
because obviously, I would
post this shit on my page.
And then they would be like,
oh, this nigga makes music.
Let me try. Let me listen
to this and see what it's like.
And then I would catch you.
That's how I would catch you.
BASS: Jahseh would make us
make multiple Twitter accounts.
Twenty-five people in the chat,
and each of those people have
at least five different Twitter accounts,
and we all retweeting this stuff.
FLYBOY: Mm-hm.
- And we all gonna sit there on Twitter
and talk shit to anybody
that come in there talking shit
and just fuck up
the algorithms in our favor
- to just like...
- Draw attention.
It was all planned out and very strategic.
[crowd shouting]
MAN: Fuck y'all, nigga!
MAN 2: Let him stand up.
Let him stand up.
[indiscernible shouting]
- All these people want to see
is us destroy each other.
That's what, that's what they pay for.
- All controversy.
- Mm-hm.
- So, if you're telling us,
if you're paying us
to destroy each other,
then we will become gladiators.
What'd you expect us to do?
[hip-hop music playing]
- Oh, see if they fuck
with that soft shit.
I dropped, like, some soft shit,
so tell me if y'all fuck with it.
KILO: He came to my house
and he was like,
"Bro, I got something really different.
Like, really different.
Like, I'm singing, like."
I'm like, "You ain't singing, bro.
You just yellin' and screamin'
on tracks and being angry."
And he played "I Don't Wanna
Do This Anymore."
I'm like...
He's looking at me,
and I'm looking at him,
and I'm like, "Bruh."
Been up all night
So, you don't wanna wait on me
I'm about to catch my flight
So, you don't gotta wait on me
No more, you don't wanna,
you don't wanna
- He just went from doing this
hype rock rap shit to R&B.
How did-- And after that,
I knew he was gonna be great.
Once he made that song,
I was like, he could do it all now.
I don't wanna love myself
I'm praying that they all love me
There is no definition to my rap.
I'm versatile.
If you give me the tools
to make what the fuck I want...
- Proper studio shit?
- Proper studio,
proper engineering, even the people
that will sit there and take
their work very seriously
and, like, as far as the production,
I'll be the greatest artist
there possibly is.
- Really?
- Literally.
CLEOPATRA: The first time
I went to one of his shows,
I was amazed.
There was kids lined up
on the side of the stage
with their sneakers to get autographs,
and I was like, "What is this?"
"Is this my child," you know?
And it was like a proud moment.
No, no, no
No, no, no
- I started noticing that X, you know,
was getting in his feelings,
he was feeling a little lonely.
And him being a hopeless romantic,
he's like, I need a girlfriend,
it's going to help me focus.
It's going to help me be creative
because some of the music
he was making was,
you know, a lot
of that R&B love stuff.
So, I guess he needed something
to actually make it real,
make it sound real.
- I met Jahseh 2014.
I was in high school.
I met him, like, online.
Look at this fucking hair.
I was supposed to be a mystical-ass lion,
and I ended up being a fuck-ass human.
What the fuck?
[hip-hop music playing]
At 17, I was basically homeless
or home hopping.
I was always getting, like, bullied.
I was just always on the laptop basically
and trying to, like, make friends online.
I'd go on chatrooms
and live through there.
Look at what we have here.
I would just try to keep myself happy
through friends.
When Jahseh and I first met,
I had cuts on my thigh, like five lines,
and under that I had
a word that said "Alone."
And when he noticed it, he was like,
why'd you do that?
And I was like, because I felt alone.
He was like, "Oh, me too."
Like, I feel like
we're the same in that aspect.
JAHSEH: I just felt like
I found my significant other.
I felt like I found my soul mate.
I said, "I want you
to cut 'Alone' into my arm,
"so every time you feel
as if you're alone,
"you think of me and you understand
you have someone
that feels exactly the same."
And obsession don't mix well
I was living in a motel.
I didn't even have, like, a pillow.
I was just sleeping on a air mattress
with my uncle.
So, he gave me a pillow at his house
and gave me a jacket.
It's like, he didn't want me to feel
like I didn't have anything
even if he had to, like,
sacrifice his own thing.
- I was like, "Yo,
do you like sleeping alone?"
She said, "No."
I said, "Neither do I."
I said, "I know that you stay in a motel.
"So, I want to go back
to the motel with you
and I'll sleep in the lobby."
She said, "Are you serious?
Would you do that for me?"
I said, "Yeah."
Hollywood motels
Hell, I think
I'm just obsessed with you
That was the only person
I had around for a while
that I felt relevant to
despite, like, besides my mom.
- I realized that he had a girlfriend,
so I basically fell back
and after those three days,
we didn't hang out.
We really didn't have contact either.
JAHSEH: I didn't hear from her
for two to three years.
When we met up again, I was 19.
My best friend at the time,
she invited me to his show.
We're outside waiting
to get into the venue
and I see him.
He had, like, no shirt on.
You know, it was, like, dark and steamy.
And he locked eyes with me
from across the room,
and then he, like,
started walking up to me.
He just, like, grabs me by the neck
and looks at me, like, deep in my eyes.
I'm like, "Oh."
Spotlight, uh, moonlight, uh
Nigga, why you trippin',
get your mood right, uh
Shawty look good in the moonlight
All these pussy niggas so bad mind
Spotlight, moonlight
- And he just walks away after that.
And then I just look at my friend.
I'm like, "Yeah, I don't know
what that was,
but it was sexy."
We started dating after that day,
and I moved in with him.
He would post me on his Snapchats,
and all my friends were
hitting me up like,
"You date X?"
And then he started to, like,
bringing me around places
and people would notice him
and, like, they'd just go crazy for him.
I just didn't realize it. I didn't know.
- Go ahead.
- No, no.
- Go ahead. Let me see how weird you is.
GENEVA: It was kind of
a romantic feel in the beginning.
It was a mesh between, like,
always taking care of each other
and trying to better ourselves.
- You saw put her fucking finger
in my mouth... [indiscernible]
- Ow, stop it.
- Why do that shit, you fuck-ass nigga?
Say sorry.
- I'm sorry.
- Hmm.
- I'm sorry as fuck, sorry as fuck.
- They stayed in this room
most of the time.
I barely saw them.
But I just saw...
how the obsession wasn't healthy.
When I moved in with Jahseh,
I was working at an animal hospital.
I was getting paid $10 an hour.
That was my first good-paying job.
Like, a week later, he was like,
we're not going to drive you
back and forth
from Fort Lauderdale
to North Miami every day,
so you're going to have to quit.
You're fine anyway.
And, like, I got you.
And then I quit.
I understood, like, off the bat
that when he cared about something,
it was impossible for you to, like,
deter him from that.
There was also a lot of miscommunication
and jealousy, I'd say.
JAHSEH: Say sorry.
GENEVA: I'm sorry.
You know, I was depressed somewhat
when I was with him because I felt like
he was like the only person
that would give me love
and, like, I wouldn't
find that anywhere else.
So, that's why, like,
I continuously stayed.
It had its good moments and bad moments,
but mostly, like, I was lost.
I didn't really know, like,
what to do about it.
[crowd shouting]
- Woo. I'm already tired...
[crowd cheers]
He was kind of buzzing at that point.
He was making, like, underground hits,
you know what I mean?
And then people start peepin' like,
"Oh, he might be the next
one up," you feelin' me?
- Okay, I'm tired. I'm tired.
Tired. [laughs]
But I'm not gonna lie.
I think his mind state
was very bad at that point.
The thing about Jah is,
if you weren't that close to him,
he didn't really want you to see,
like, his true personality sometimes.
So, he always, you feel me,
throwing a little mask
or something to try to hide
how he's feeling in the moment.
So, that's how he was
treating me at that time.
He was trying to be very calm.
You feel me?
"Yo, what's good? How you doing?"
But he was in a bad mental state though,
I could tell.
- This is the first time
I'm letting them see my hair.
My hair is just a reminder of telling me
to, to fucking relax, basically.
It's a, it's a reminder
of me telling myself that,
"Yo, you are human
and that you are not a god.
"You are still on the planet Earth.
"And that you need to remind yourself
that karma is a real thing.
And whatever you give out,
you will get back."
I knew that something was off.
The voices in the head came.
He would tell me, like,
he would not sleep at night.
And he would tell me he hears voices.
Literally, he'd be like, "Oh, I took LSD,
"and I've talked to a spirit
that's a demon
"and told me information about myself,
"about how long I'm gonna live,
that they're going to come
get him at some point."
I really didn't like
that shit at that point.
- Yeah, it was a very dark time.
- And if I end up getting shot and killed
for what the fuck I'm doing
or if I end up getting my ass
beat at some point in time
or nigga, if shit get hard on me,
it's because I deserve it.
That's point blank, period.
Everybody will get a death--
Everybody will get a death
that is deserving.
Everybody will get a life
that is deserving.
Everybody-- You will get
what the fuck you deserve.
I was 23 in the summer of 2016
when I met Jahseh.
I was at the time dating Khaed Moulton,
which was his producer.
Jahseh was about 18 at the time.
Jahseh was not a monster.
Like, when I met him,
he was very charming,
very intelligent,
empathetic, in a sense.
Like, damn near surprised me.
The first day I saw Geneva
when she came out,
she was wearing a hoodie.
She just wasn't making
eye contact with anybody.
She'd look up and just,
like, go back down.
She was literally just
a shell of a person.
Like, there was just no expression.
There was nothing.
I felt like her soul
was empty at the time.
You know?
One day, Khaed cracked a joke in the car.
She kind of giggled and laughed.
And Jahseh, like, cut his eyes
to her and was like,
when we get to the house, go in the room.
And I was kind of like, "What the fuck?"
It kind of became clear
that he was not happy
with her laughing at his joke.
They went in the room,
and I could hear them fighting.
Eventually, you just hear somebody
who's getting hit.
Jahseh had a bathroom in that,
a private bathroom in the room.
So, you could hear water running
and I'm thinking,
"Okay, maybe they're going
to take a shower or whatever."
But no.
He was literally drowning her in the tub,
like putting her under,
and you could hear her screams
being muffled by the water
and being put up
and then being put back under the water.
And I was banging on the door,
begging Khaed like,
"Bro, I'm calling the cops,"
and he's begging me,
"Don't call the cops, bro."
Like, you know
I got a situation in Georgia,
which he did.
So, I didn't. Big regret.
Later that night,
she finally came out again
and she, like, picked up her hoodie
and she was marked up with bruises
like a Dalmatian,
like a bruise behind her ear,
behind her neck, literally everywhere.
And it was very clear that
he was avoiding hitting her face
so that she wouldn't have
any, like, clear injuries
when you were talking to her.
I've never seen somebody
bruised up so bad.
It was just very clear like
she didn't have nobody.
Like, she didn't have any money,
she didn't have any family support.
So, in a situation like that,
when people are like,
"Why don't you leave,
why don't you leave?"
And you really don't,
you think that that person
is literally your foundation
and your network to life.
They all knew what was going on,
and they were so caught up in his clout
and having his respect,
they would never go against
what he was saying.
It was like the weight of that person,
it was zero compared to their potential
to make it with Jahseh.
So, there was just
no incentive to step in.
COOLIECUT: You know how
you got that little voice in your head
and it'd be like, "Yo, don't do that."
I don't think he had that
in certain moments,
if you get what I'm saying.
So, he used to just be like,
"Bro, niggas tryin' me.
All right, let's go." You feel me?
That-- So, if you don't have
that in your head,
you kind of got to have
somebody around you
to be like, "Yo, bro, we good, bro.
It's not that big of a deal."
You feel me? Let's just vibe."
And I don't think, that was the thing,
I don't really think
he had that in Orlando.
- He was in jail and I was
with a group of his friends.
You know, they were, like,
taking care of me and stuff
while, until he got back.
And I ended up cheating
on Jahseh with his homeboy.
Once it came out, like,
Jahseh at first said
that he would deal with it
and he would get over it.
But he couldn't get over it, it seemed.
He did come to me and was like,
"Hey, Geneva's pregnant, what do I do?"
And I couldn't really answer
that question.
I don't know, I was like, "Oh.
Just be there for her, that's it."
You know? But it can't be here.
Especially now that she's pregnant.
TALYSSA: If I was there, I don't think
it would have went that far.
I don't think I would have
left Geneva alone
for a second with him,
and that's what happened
when she was attacked,
she was left alone.
From what I understand, like,
they held her there
for, like, three or four days
and wouldn't let her see the hospital.
I remember when she said how she escaped,
'cause I was like, "How the fuck
did you get out of that shit?"
He was playing PlayStation
or Xbox or something,
and she opened up the fridge
and kind of let that be a distraction,
like she was looking in the fridge,
and she says she got on her, her fours
and crawled out of the house
while the fridge was still open
and ran out.
I had nowhere to run.
I don't have any brothers,
I don't have a father figure.
Nobody was going to come save me.
I had to leave.
I felt like it was going to get worse.
The first person I called
when I ran away from the house
was my ex-boyfriend because
literally besides my mom,
that was like the only
phone number I knew by heart.
And he seen my face and he's like,
"Okay, this is crazy.
I have to call my mom."
His mother was like,
"She can't be with you
because they're going
to think you did that."
She literally drove me to the station.
She was like, "Go, 'cause you're
not staying with us like that."
I didn't want nobody to go to jail,
but I didn't know what to do.
I wasn't aware that that would
all, like, crumble down
onto him like that.
You got to be fucking kidding me.
Like, that's the first thing
I thought, like,
"You got to be fucking kidding me."
Like, how... how... [stammers]
Like, you just gotta
be fucking kidding me.
Like, there was no other way
to think about it.
- You know, I knew he was a lot of things
and get into a lot of shit,
but that, that was new to me.
That part was foreign to me.
I was shocked at how bad it was.
He was already out on bond
when that incident happened.
He had racked up so many points that,
you know, he was going to jail
for a very long time.
Cleo, in her mind was like,
I'm going to have to take care
of him his whole life
because he has a record,
tattoos on his face.
Like, it was exhausting. just running,
like, not knowing what
the next option was for him.
- When he called me, I was really nervous.
I was like, "Okay,
this is a jail phone call."
I answer it.
GENEVA: He was telling me
that I would go to jail,
and I was scared of that.
But then he would tell me that he loved me
and that he cared about me,
he didn't want anything to happen to me.
So, there was still, like,
a little bit of manipulation
and I was just, like, so confused.
GENEVA: The fact that he got
in the amount of trouble
that he did get into,
it was not my intention.
I just needed to get away from it.
Of course, we believe him.
- We're family.
We hate to see one of our own
be incarcerated, you know,
especially for an allegation.
You know? And he's literally
sitting rotting in jail
- for an allegation--
KILO: Almost a year.
- That shit felt forever.
- Everybody was like,
"He was arrested
because of his girlfriend."
And I'm like, "Well, this is why."
When I told my piece about the situation,
fans are not very understanding
because obviously the person
that they look up to
is saying one thing, and then I was saying
the complete opposite.
Obviously, they're not going
to believe me.
FLYBOY: The fans are toxic,
so if they get an ear of things,
they're going to start
making up their own narratives
and start twisting things
and contorting it.
And so now, it's this on social media.
Whether he did it or not,
for people to make it public,
all that shit brings
attention towards him.
- I want to say it was,
we were on Instagram
and A$AP Rocky was like,
"Yo, free X,
that's the hottest nigga out
of Florida right now," right?
- Free my nigga XXX.
I can't wait 'til you come home.
Fuck is you talking 'bout?
He the hardest nigga in Florida.
I said it. So what--
- It would literally
become like a hashtag,
like his mug shot went viral.
- The first image I ever saw
of Jahseh was his mug shot,
and it was probably the most
polarizing image of an artist
that I've ever seen in my life.
He had tattoos on his face.
Half blond, half black hair.
He had the stare in his eyes.
His eyes almost looked black.
His image, it was exciting,
it was polarizing.
I knew that people wouldn't forget him
because he was the first of his kind.
I'm like, "Bitch,
who is your mans?" Ayy
Can't keep my dick in my pants, ayy
My bitch don't love me no mo', ayy
She kick me out, I'm like, "Vro"
Unfortunately, we're living in a world
where drama and bullshit sells.
And so as bad as that was,
it helped to catapult him
to the next level
because his name was everywhere.
And then the Drake beef added to it.
MAN: It was the fans
who started saying something
about Drake stealing his flow.
- That's how we found out
'cause of the fans.
- Yeah the fans, the fans
were speaking out before us.
We don't even listen to Drake.
Demon just got out the can, yeah
I gave my bro an advance, yeah
Love is just not in my plans
I'm like, "Bitch,
who is your mans?" ayy
Can't keep my dick in my pants, ayy
Once the fans started speaking,
it all started speaking for itself.
People were fighting about the music,
falling in love with the music.
People were fighting about the charges,
hating him for the charges.
But, like, he was only getting
more famous by the day.
Whether you loved it
or whether you hated it,
you just had to acknowledge it.
Look at me, fuck on me
Look at me, fuck on me
Look at me, fuck on me
Look at me, yah
Look at me, fuck on me
Look at me, fuck on me
Look at me, fuck on me
Look at me, yah
Yah, yah
CLEOPATRA: I had labels
started reaching out to me
because he was locked up.
Regardless of whether me and him
fought like cats and dogs,
he knew that I always had
his best interests at heart.
Who was he going to trust,
you know what I mean?
I'm his mama.
So, he gave me power of attorney.
You know, I was kind of like,
"Oh, we should sign, we should sign."
He was like, "No, Mom, if we can
hold on and stay independent,
that's where the real bag is."
Seeing all the people
being screwed in the industry,
he knew very well and from early
that he wanted to own all his masters.
He knew what the end game
and the end goal was.
Solomon found us, actually.
I was intrigued by that.
- You know, I saw pictures
of him, of course.
But, like, I don't know, in my mind, like,
I was expecting him to be, like,
like a giant almost when I saw him.
And then when I saw him behind the glass,
it was just kind of crazy
because he was a kid.
All this craziness,
and then he's just a kid.
Like, he had all the hope in the world
and you could see he was vulnerable.
So, at that point, I'm just like,
"Yo, no matter what,
yo, I got this kid, I got him."
- We got our first deal
while he was locked up.
SOLOMON: We got the 100 grand
to license "Look at Me" to Empire,
and it was off to the races from there.
- No, I really didn't give
a fuck, to be honest.
That wasn't a concern to me.
Uh, I just knew that
the record was special.
It was moving,
and I just started chasing it.
I think my first contact with him was,
uh, Bob called me on three-way
with him in prison,
and we talked for a couple minutes
and he told me had a couple other deals
that he was looking at,
so on and so forth.
And he called me back
with Bob on the phone,
and he said, "I'm gonna do your deal."
And I said, "I don't understand.
Why would you do our deal
versus the other deal?"
Um, and mind you, the other deal was
like a traditional
multi-album deal, large advance.
I think the advance was like
1.5 million, he told me.
My offer was like a 100k
for, like, two singles.
Um, and I asked him, I said,
"Why would you do my deal
over the other deal?
You're only like 18, bro.
That's a lot of money."
He said, "'Cause your deal
makes me a partner
and their deal makes me a slave."
JAHSEH: Howdy there.
WOMAN: Woo! [laughs]
[indiscernible chatter]
I-I still feel like I'm dreaming.
I feel like I just broke up
out of this bitch.
Yeah. Don't go to jail in Broward County.
MAN: Don't go to jail in Broward County.
- They not finna let you out.
- Oh, that boy... [laughing, screaming]
- You look fresher...
- Yo! My nigga!
Oh my goodness.
- I'm out this shit, dawg.
I'm out this shit, dawg.
- I'm so fucking proud of you.
- This shit 'bout to be crazy.
- This is all you, bro.
- This shit 'bout to be crazy.
- Oh my goodness.
JAHSEH: I'm gonna call my mom.
[line ringing]
- Look, FaceTime.
- FaceTime.
- Do it.
Hi, princess.
You look beautiful.
What are you talking about?
- You look like sex!
- I feel like crying.
I'm about to get on my knees.
Yeah. I'm dead-ass serious.
So, I don't come back to this shit.
- Yo, I look like a Jack.
I love you.
- I'm gonna call you.
Oh man.
Yo, my fucking name comes up, my nigga.
"Jahseh D. Onfroy,
"better known by his
stage name XXXTentacion
is an American hip-hop recording artist
from Plantation, Florida."
Jesus fucking Christ.
Oh, that's a lot of fucking followers.
Holy shit.
Holy shit.
["Look at Me" playing over speakers]
- What the fuck?!
Ohh, fuck.
I gave her dick, she amen, ayy
She put her tongue on my dick, ayy
Look at my wrist, about ten
Look at me, fuck on me, yah
I'll take over the fucking world!
Look at me, yah
- So stupid.
Put me down, boy,
- Mmm.
- Hi, baby.
- You smell like--
- Cigarettes.
- Yes, I do.
- Yes, I had cigarettes.
- Wait, are you getting short?
- No.
- Oh. Oh yeah.
Okay. [chuckles]
Oh, I guess you like
this jacket better, huh?
- If you could.
- [Cleo, indistinct]
- No, I'm gonna let him sleep.
Yeah, he's not going to wake up.
- Yo, this is hilarious.
Bro, you about to have
a number one-record,
so do you understand that?
You gonna have a number-one record.
You about to have
the biggest song in the country
very soon.
WOMAN: For real.
- Very soon.
- Viral.
- So, just leave
all the BS alone, bro.
The really important thing is to ignore--
Ignore her. I know that, yeah.
- Keep away from all that bullshit
because it's not worth it. You feel me?
Look what you already
went through over that.
- Understood.
And look where you're going.
- Facts.
WOMAN: For real.
Look what he have right now, like...
Now is about your family
and about your life, about your career,
about you accomplishing
everything you ever wanted.
That's the only thing that matters, man.
Leave everything else in the past, bro.
And just make the most out of it.
Make your little brother proud.
Make your mother proud.
Make your family proud, bruh.
Every, all everybody wants
is just to be proud of you.
You know what I mean?
For you to change the lineage
of the Onfroys
for the rest of eternity.
And you are the example right now.
I mean, I'm not saying
you are a role model like that,
but people are looking at you,
and you now have
a lot of responsibilities as a grown man.
- You hear that?
You got a lot of responsibility.
I'm handing this to you.
- As a grown man.
- Yeah?
WOMAN: So cute.
- All right, I understand.
- You're going to be just fine.
- I'mma just take it one step at a time.
- That's all you can do, man,
just take it one step at a time
and just try to do the right thing.
- Yeah.
- That's all that counts, man.
JAHSEH: This is the story,
this is the full story,
and this is the last time I'll tell it.
She was already bruised on her face
all while she was staying with me.
She was already bruised on her face.
Now with the, the severe bruising,
I don't know how the fucking
severe bruising came about.
But she had, like, bruises
on the left side of her face
while she was at Bruno's.
I think she got jumped.
That's what I,
that's what I told everybody.
Like, yo, she got jumped because I'm...
because the way she was fucked up,
I think she got jumped.
They're not going to admit to it.
I don't, I don't give a fuck.
That's not my part of the story.
That... that bitch got whooped. Bad.
Whooped. So...
I didn't beat her, nor do I give a fuck
about who beat her at this time,
because now I know she's an evil bitch.
There's the story.
- Jahseh was like,
no, Mom, it's not true.
And, um, a part of me, you know,
took that and ran with it.
[indiscernible conversations]
I mean, that's my son.
Even if he's Hitler, that's my son.
If he's the devil, that's my son.
I birthed him.
Wrong, right, or indifferent,
I'm going to have his back no matter what,
and I'm going to have
his best interests at heart.
So, naturally, for me,
I want to save my child.
Any mother would have done the same thing,
I would think.
[indiscernible chatter]
I could never repay my mom
for the amount of pain
that she's been through,
and I gave her more.
And she still stood there
hanging on with broken hands.
I could never repay her for that.
I am forever in her debt,
and I do everything
that I still do now
for my fans and for my mother.
[fans cheering]
There's most definitely a difference
between Jahseh Onfroy and XXXTentacion.
[fans cheering]
Nobody cared about Jahseh Onfroy.
MAN: Do that. Do that.
MAN 2: Bro, chill out.
- Jahseh Onfroy was very meek.
Jahseh Onfroy was weak.
- You're leaving now.
OFFICER: Now. Everybody go.
- You take everybody out the door now.
JAHSEH: Nobody gave a fuck
about me as an individual.
Nobody gave a fuck about how I felt.
Now, my opinion is respected,
and every move I make
is recorded and calculated.
Nobody cared about Jahseh Onfroy
until he took on the persona as XXX.
[fans shouting]
BASS: Darkness sells.
Bad things sells.
The shit that your parents
tell you not to do sells.
You pick up on that shit
quick in this industry.
So, when you're trying to go ahead,
that's usually the formula.
I'm gonna make the world hate me.
I'm gonna make the world hate me.
I'm gonna be like,
I'm gonna be the super villain.
I'm gonna make this whole thing crumble.
WOMAN: People like the villains.
- Yeah, they do. [laughs]
Yeah, I definitely agree.
They definitely...
I'm gonna, I'm gonna ruin
everything for everybody.
MAN: When I really knew
that we were really doing
something crazy was Revenge tour.
The shows were huge.
I ain't even expect that.
I don't even think he expected it.
SKI: It was so relieving
to see Jah's efforts
of always doing some outlandish shit
actually make sense.
Like, there was a method to the madness,
and it worked hella good.
And boy, I'm sippin' tea in yo' hood
What the fuck is up, you buttercup
Purrp in that blunt
Smoking suicide, bloody blunts
Pussy boy,
you talkin' shit for Twitter
It ain't addin' up
How these pussy niggas
Jah was a real showman.
Every single night, he's trying
to outdo the last night.
You know, what could I do
that's more memorable
than the last night?
I love it when they run
Fuck all that talkin' shit
Do that shit for fun, uh
- And when I say go, you rush me
and you fuck me up.
You hear me?
CROWD [shouting]: Yeah!
Bitch, I'm sippin' tea in yo' hood
What the fuck is up
Bitch, I'm sippin' tea in yo' hood
What the fuck is up
We're going to play this shit,
and I'm going to try and commit suicide.
Okay. You ready?
I remember being at these shows
and watching these kids soak in every word
that Jah said.
The way he would speak to them at mass,
would kind of be like a mass.
It would be like church for them.
It was like a cult,
and he would be like their God.
CROWD: Yeah.
JAHSEH: Now, now...
if you want to find your purpose
and you reach for the stars,
people will often tell you
that it's not possible.
Let me ask you something:
do you think
you can be right here
and right where the fuck you want to be?
[crowd shouts]
Let me hear it!
[crowd shouts]
SOLOMON: I remember him
always telling me, like,
I'm making music for the broken people,
for the people that feel how I feel.

- Why the fuck are y'all
reporting me, bruh?
I am @instagram.
I'm not fucking posting nothing, bruh.
This is not fair.
That's the third account
I've lost to Instagram
because of fucking hatin'-ass X fans.
And I fucking hate y'all.
And I wish I could just take my soul
and put it in another
fucking body or something
because I fucking hate myself
because of y'all.
I'm not crying because
Instagram is my life, bro.
I'm crying because y'all are
my income, bro.
Like, I...
I couldn't get a job
because the situation was so popular
that people would come
into the place I work
and they'll just, like, ask me questions.
And like, the situation's fresh.
I would start crying to the point
where the managers were like,
"Why are you always crying?
Like, we don't need this."
And everybody was like,
"You're ruining his career."
But at the same time,
I felt like my whole life was ruined
because nobody even cared.
Like, after that, I was homeless, like...
I lived in a hotel for, like,
almost a year after that
and the whole time, I'm like,
"Everybody hates me
when I was just trying
to say what happened."
And on top of that, they were
asking me what happened.
Like, everybody was like
asking me what happened,
and I'm trying to tell it.
If you're going to think
that I'm a liar, I'm a liar.
Because how am I supposed to fight that?
I'm only one person.
It was really a dark moment for me.
And there was no way
that I could just stop it.
He had the power to do all that.
Look at me, what
Ayy, look at me, fuck on me
Look at me, fuck on me
Look at me, fuck on me
Look at me, yah
[crowd cheering]
Rolling Loud make some noise
one time for XXX!
- I love you. I love you all. Goodnight.
I could pay your mama house payment.
I could pay your mortgage, baby.
Woo. I said, "When can I drive it?"
JAHSEH: Can't forget.
[plastic rustling]
You see this fucking mug shot
on the platinum plaque?
Yeah, bitch. [chuckles]
I met Jahseh in early August.
He was coming to L.A.
to finish his album 17.
I was waiting for them in the studio
and, um, while I was waiting
for him to show up,
I just was kind of playing
the guitar hanging out.
And he walked in the studio
and introduced himself
and was like, "You play guitar?"
And I'm like, "Yeah."
And then he just started
singing something.
That night was a long night.
I remember he goes into the booth,
and he was trying to kind of
figure out a certain melody,
and the engineer wasn't
getting the sound right.
I kind of figured out
what he wanted in his head
and was able to translate
that a little bit.
Dead inside
Spend a lot of time stuck
in this head of mine
Under the assumption
love is dead, already
He was one of those people
that had everything in his head,
he just didn't know
physically how to, like,
translate that into a record.
Like, the process of production.
And so I kind of just started
fitting in there.
Dead inside
Spend a lot of time stuck
in this head of mine
SOLOMON: I know a lot of fans,
a lot of people thought
he was going to make an album
full of "Look at Me's,"
but instead, he made this vulnerable
emotional masterpiece, really.
I remember when 17 came out,
I was worried at the time
because as amazing as I thought
the project was, I was like,
"Yo, people are either going to love this
or they're going to hate this."
I didn't really think
there was going to be
an in between.
So... people love it.
Tired of feelin' like I'm
trapped in my damn mind
Tired of feelin' like I'm
wrapped in a damn lie
Tired of feelin' like
my life is a damn game
Nigga really wanna die
in the nighttime
Only time I feel pain,
when I'm feelin' love
SOLOMON: I remember
Kendrick Lamar giving it praise.
So many people really,
really, really surprised
at how Jah just left
his soul on that project.
He just gave it to you.
It was raw. It was honest.
It was everything.
And also nothing like
we've ever heard before.
My first article about XXXTentacion
was in February of 2017,
and he was already blowing up.
Around the time that X was
blowing up was the moment
when people were becoming more conscious
of what kind of values
they wanted to support.
It was a strange moment
for somebody to be coming up
who also had these terrible
allegations attached to him.
So, at this point, people are
listening to his music,
people that we respect and admire
are recommending his music.
There's more to the story.
Here's what this young woman
said under oath
he did to her.
Y'all niggas mad I'm successful?
[bleep] my [bleep]!
No, but on some real shit,
if you don't like me,
refer me to your auntie, so that I,
I put my [bleep] in her [bleep]
'cause if y'all really think
I ever gave a fuck
about anything y'all be saying,
all right, y'all going
to make me miserable.
[bleep] y'all little sisters.
They [bleep].
I swear to god. I swear to god.
Everybody that called me
a domestic abuser,
I'm finna domestically abuse
your little sister [bleep]
from the back...
Is this making you mad yet?
If you hate me, are you mad yet?
Are you going to go on Reddit and post
really bad things about me?
Hashtag insensitive.
He had gone on social media,
and I think it was on his story
and he had a girl next to him
and they were laughing and giggling
and he made a pretty...
aggressive remark towards women.
And, um, it was pretty bad.
I mean, it was bad enough
that women in my office
were talking about it.
And so...
we all decided to jump
on the phone with him.
It was me, his mom...
the criminal attorney,
and the entertainment attorney.
I don't think anybody else
was on the call.
It was a group call.
And they kind of wanted to address
some of his actions.
And he wasn't fucking with it.
He was really upset.
Started yelling at us.
He was always adamant that he wanted
to express whatever it was
he wanted to express,
and he didn't give a fuck what anybody had
to think about it.
And so...
I remember we hung up the phone,
but I called him
and I was like,
"Bro, let me holler at you."
And he was like, "What's up?"
And I said to him.
"You know, you've spent...
"all this time building this relationship
"to your audience on social media.
"And I know you really love
"and cherish this role of the villain
"and the villain
has gotten you pretty far,
"but I don't think you need
to be the villain anymore.
You're already poppin'.
Just be who you are."
And I don't know, for whatever reason,
I don't know if it was that conversation,
I don't know if he had
other conversations with his mom
or his other friends
around him or whatever.
But I want to say that, like,
something definitely changed
after that incident.
Things started to change with him.
- Um, I apologize to anyone I've offended
within the last couple hours.
Obviously, you guys know
I'm going through a lot
just, uh, due to this case.
If I want to assert myself
in my career or have my views respected,
I realize that I have
to treat everything with care
and take time
and have patience with people.
I just want people to know
that I'm not trying to lead
their children down a dark, dark path,
and that I really want something
good for the human race.
So, with that being said,
I hope everyone has a good...
BASS: There's some issues
where people need to be scrutinized
and some issues where people just need
to be put away. You feel me?
But there are some issues
where people need help,
especially kids.
He was mature.
Streetwise, he was mature.
He was music business savvy.
You know I mean?
He had a lot of--
So, he had to have
some type of, like, hustle
in his family background,
you could tell that.
But at the end of the day,
like emotionally,
he wasn't, he wasn't there yet.
- It made me, I mean,
it made me sad, you know.
He allegedly did to her
what she, what he allegedly did.
But that doesn't mean
that he didn't suffer as well.
That doesn't make him just
a two-dimensional person, either.
I saw him battle with his demons
from the very beginning.
I wish I could have helped more.
I didn't know how to help.
I didn't know what to do.
- It's one of those days where you realize
nothing fucking matters.
One of those days where you feel
like driving off a bridge.
Am I really quitting? Yes, I'm quitting.
I don't know for how long.
But I'm just not going
to make music right now.
I mean, it's just been
that my mind's been fucked up.
My mind has been somewhere else.
SOLOMON: He saw a doctor
and was diagnosed as bipolar.
They were giving him medicine to take.
You know, he hated
the medicine, of course.
The medicine made him dull, uncreative.
It was hard for him to be himself.
- What are they going to say now?
Isn't it clear I don't give a fuck?
He made himself ugly at one point
by shaving off his eyebrows,
that's what he called it,
shedding who he was.
JAHSEH: If you feel
as if your physical identity
has to be the same as everyone else's
to be socially acceptable, you're stupid.
Be yourself.
He wanted to trip acid.
I think he was kind of trying
to free his mind
from everything that was going on.
But it was kind of
to dig deeper into yourself
to understand like,
"Why you think like this?
Why do you act like that?"
He wanted to shed his skin.
He kept saying it to me.
He was like,
"Bro, I feel like I don't like this.
You feel me? The skin I'm in."
He just meant like he wanted to become
a better person, you know what I mean?
He just kept saying that over and over.
I was like, "Yeah, I feel you, bro.
"We're going to get through this.
"You're going to become
a better person, bro. Don't worry."
The way I feel now
Just can't compare
JOHN: He was going through a lot
and we would be making songs
and sometimes in between the process,
I would kind of leave my phone
on just forgetting about it,
and then we would start
talking about something.
This is one.
- Hello
- Hello
From the dark side in
Does anybody ever want to be my friend
My friend
Want it all to end
Tell me when the fuck
is it all gon' end
Voices in my head
Telling me I'm gonna end up dead
So save me
Save me
Before I fall
- Okay, guys, so basically,
this is what I wanted to explain today,
um, just based off of what I've learned.
You have to take a second to sit down
to thoroughly observe your patterns.
Do you move when you don't want to move?
Do you get angry
when you don't want to get angry?
You have to fix
these things about yourself.
You have to give a fuck about yourself.
And that makes life so much better.
Like, I'm learning to do it now.
And it makes life 10 times better.
It makes you feel better.
I want you to start a journal.
COOLIECUT: That's when
the internal change was happening.
He was actually changing internally,
trying to preach a positive message
because he kind of had a negative impact.
And he wanted to balance that out.
JAHSEH: I'm going to stop
calling you guys fans.
I'm going to start calling you
members of my cult.
This is a cult. Not a fan base.
While we have this big family
of a fan base
and there's a lot of us
that are depressed,
myself, including myself.
There's a lot of us that are depressed,
so just hashtag my name
and find another person
that listens to my music
and help them through their problems.
So, here's what we'll do,
we'll start a hashtag today.
Um, I want you to get this trending.
Hashtag #Youtellmeyourproblems
and we will use this hashtag
to communicate
with other fr-- uh, fans and friends,
uh, and that listen to my music,
that need help.
- He did not want that image
to follow him around
for the rest of his life.
But when it comes
to his relationship with Geneva,
I do sincerely think that he wanted
to fix his relationship
with her privately.
But between the law,
the case, and then the public,
it, that was like an impossible task.
- He had what's called
a no contest order of protection
against, uh, Geneva.
- Under the assumption
love is dead, already
Just let me be here
One of the girls that he was living with,
she hit me up on Instagram,
she told me that Jahseh wanted
to speak to me.
And I was like, "What?"
And I was speaking to him,
I was on FaceTime with him,
and he was telling me
that he wanted to meet up
and apologize to me.
And I was really scared
because I didn't know
if it was a setup.
I was, like, still very afraid of him.
So, I was scared.
But I just had to, like, overcome that.
I felt like I had to face my problems.
- Reporting live from Florida,
with the alleged hurricane...
We'd, like, hang out here and there.
I spent a whole weekend with him
during a hurricane
and like, nobody even knew.
People online would be like,
they hate each other.
But in reality, like, we were talking.
For me, like, I found sympathy
and empathy in the situation,
and I was able to literally
just, like, forgive him
because I feel like...
I basically compared it to my mother.
Like, my mother has abused me.
And you don't see people
disowning their mother because of that--
Well, you do, but not
necessarily in every instance.
JOHN: They both had an opinion
on what should happen.
But at some point, the state
of Florida wanted otherwise.
When Geneva sends in her affidavit
to say she no longer wanted
to pursue criminal charges,
I think that prompted them
to go through the jail calls.
You know, there was
so much stuff on there,
they easily charged Jahseh
with a bunch of new counts
of witness tampering.
- Okay, guys, so I was
just given seven more charges,
uh, by the state attorney's office,
uh, and I have a court date on the 15th.
So, I would ask that everyone
come to support me.
I ask that the people that do come
come bearing positive energy.
He had this court date in December.
The day before, I was asking him, like,
"What's the worst thing
that can happen tomorrow?"
He answered that he'd be
taken in for a couple hours
and they'd be able to get him out
that same day.
- The fans took over
the, the whole courthouse.
They were calling the judge,
like doing all kinds of crazy stuff.
Soon as you walk into the room,
you could feel the energy from the judge.
He didn't even get a chance to say a word.
She just started going in.
DEANDRA: It seemed like
she just knew in her mind
she was going to take him that day
to make an example of,
you don't have more power than we do.
SOLOMON: They ended up
taking him in for a week.
All those charges added up.
So, I believe he was looking at 20 years.
Now because of his status,
it requires him to be
segregated in solitary.
Not being in general population,
he doesn't have access
to sitting and talking to people
or anything that can stimulate him.
And he already struggled
with hearing voices in his head
and being alone.
Any time in, you know,
locked up in solitary
would be a problem for him.
And we knew that.
DEANDRA: It doesn't matter
how many times he spoke
about, like, helping each other
or something like that,
it was always, okay, but he beat Geneva.
Like, he can never have a conversation
without that being,
going back to being the topic.
- Why is it wrong?
- How do you fully redeem yourself
if every time on every corner
it just keeps popping up?
- He acknowledged that he was,
that there was a situation,
you know, but self-acknowledgment
and accountability,
do I have to hold myself accountable
and admit it to the world
just for you guys to judge me anyways?
They were going to judge him
no matter what.
You know, without knowing the full story.
It didn't matter if he spoke
that full story,
they were going to judge him
no matter what.
And that's all he had,
that's all he was going through,
was being judged.
He could release a number one album.
You could love his song.
But then they were still judging him
based on that situation.
It wasn't something he was able to escape,
even though he was
holding himself accountable.
- I think it also might have
resulted in them taking
- his whole life away.
- I think, I think it makes sense that
that's an apology that needs to be
kind of more, um, planned out
in a way that, like, has
an actual beneficial result
and not one that, you know,
results in somebody getting
their entire freedom
and life taken away.
- But I do think he would have
gotten to a place where he would have
gotten there, it just,
he just never had a chance to.
GUY WHEELER: I got a call
from a well-known psychologist
by the name of Dr. Michael Brannon.
The judge decided that
I was going to work with him.
The judge pointed at me, he says,
"Everywhere he go,
he's got to go, you got to go.
He can't go anywhere without you."
Well, the first day, it was,
it was people here galore.
I didn't want to go right then and there
in a sit-down face-to-face,
because from a cultural
kind of background,
the connotations of therapy
and counseling perception is
what goes along with that.
"I'm crazy, I'm loco and I ain't crazy."
As a matter of fact,
he mentioned that, you know,
"Ain't nothing wrong with me.
I ain't crazy."
I said, "Man, let's walk,
let's just walk."
"Man, I got problems like anybody else."
I said, "Look, I'm here, man,
"you know, to treat you
like a human being.
"It's about your life, man.
That's a bigger picture to me.
I'm concerned about you."
And he looked like that,
pointed at me, he's like, "Straight."
- I do not at all want--
Guy was rule-based.
He was like, "Yo, you got
to clean this shit up.
"Way too many people in
and out of your house, bro.
"You not, you can't control
what these people are going to do.
"Something bad is going to happen.
Yo, you know what?
"You can't have
all these women in your house.
"That's going to lead to something.
You just pick one and call it a day."
You know, he picked Jen.
Before me and Jah ever dated,
we were not two people
that were looking for anything at all.
He actually wanted me to be his assistant.
Jah always saw me
as this very nurturing, caring person,
and he felt very safe when he was with me
and I did, too.
So, he just kind of said, like,
"You're my girlfriend now,
"and if you don't want to be here,
"you don't have to be, but if you want to,
I would love for you to be."
I'm like... "Okay."
I could be your rock, you could be mine.
I will say, there were
some days I felt like
I was definitely walking
on shards of glass,
because you didn't know
what you were going to get.
GUY: We would have sessions,
we would just sit down and talk and laugh.
Whatever his pain or whatever
he was going through,
whatever he wanted to talk to me about,
personal, family kind of stuff.
And I recognized then that this was
a traumatized human being
unable to grieve.
And he had to play out the macho.
He's five-foot-two,
he's going to play out this macho,
the rap and hip-hop
and all of that.
And he's dealing with
an enormous amount of emotion
and a lot of stuff.
I never can be his biological father,
and that was not my role.
But if anything, that I can be there
and that I didn't want money from him,
it was about him
just as a human being
that deserved the dignity and respect.
[indiscernible singing]
And I know this from what Cleo
and Solomon and everyone told me.
It's like when I was around
making music with him,
that's when he was happy.
I realized that, like,
the process of making music
and being able to put
his mind on something
was what allowed him to free his mind
off of all the other places
that it was going.
[indiscernible singing]
MAN: That's scary, bro.
Bro, once you learn how to use
your vocal range,
you could do some crazy shit.
SOLOMON: He was putting down
big records, big records,
and it was exciting to watch.
...take this damage
And the way I feel, can't manage
And the way I feel, can't manage
He was on house arrest,
and going to the studio
and having to be home
at a certain time became an issue.
And so we decided to knock out the closets
and build a studio in home for him.
Whenever he gets into the mood,
it's right there.
JAHSEH: It was the X.
I remember, like, there was a day
in early January that
he was asking me if I had any beats.
And I said,
"Yeah, I have beats from this person
"and that person and this producer
and that producer,"
and he said, "No, you."
And so I reached over and kind of logged
into my box account on his computer.
And before I could click on anything,
because I was so nervous
I was trying to figure out
what to play him,
he clicked on something
called "Sad Banjo,"
um, which turned out to be
the beat for "SAD!"
[indiscernible chatter]
JAHSEH: I like it.
JOHN: Okay.
And in maybe, like, five or 10 minutes,
he wrote that whole song.
- Someone that's afraid to let go, uh
Oh, that's nice. That's dope. Yeah.
- You decide
JOHN: Who am I Yeah.
- Who am I
Someone that's afraid to let go, uh
- You decide
JOHN: Pfft.
- Mm- hm. Yeah.
- That's fire.
JOHN: Like, the day we got
the mix of "SAD!" back,
I remember us kind of looking
at each other and being like,
"This is different."
There was always this desire
to have something
that just would kind of set him apart
from everyone else that he was
being compared to at the time.
And this would have been a song
where there's zero rapping on it.
And the idea of this song coming out,
especially at the same time
as a song called "Changes,"
that excited me and it excited him.
And then when those two songs came out...
I felt like the entire world changed.
Who am I, someone
that's afraid to let go, uh
You decide if you're ever
gonna let me know, yeah
Suicide if you ever try to let go, uh
I'm sad, I know, yeah,
I'm sad, I know, yeah
Who am I, someone
that's afraid to let go, uh
You decide
If you're ever gonna let me know, yeah
JAHSEH: Suicide
If you ever try to let go
- I'm sad, I know, yeah,
I'm sad, I know, yeah
JOHN: And, you know,
in the "Sad!" music video,
he kills his former self,
and he was really deliberate
about not attaching
who he was in 2018
to the person that he was in the past.
Who am I, someone
that's afraid to let go, uh
You decide if you're ever
gonna let me know, yeah
Suicide if you ever try to let go, uh
I'm sad, I know, yeah,
I'm sad, I know, yeah
CLEOPATRA: Transitioning into
the blue hair was indigo child
coming into himself
and realizing his responsibility
to this generation.
You know, him and I had a conversation
about what are you going to be?
What do you want these kids
to walk away with?
You know what I'm saying,
what's your message?
And he realized he had an obligation
that was bigger than himself.
And so he chose to take that path.
- Um, okay, so my current focus
is creation and evolution.
It's better to be respected
through love rather than fear
simply because, like, all right,
I was respected through fear
and it's not real love.
It's not real love,
and it drives people away.
It makes people treat you differently.
It makes people really, like--
It's just not genuine.
It's not what you really would want.
It's better not to be
a crazy motherfucker.
It's better not. 'Cause I've, I've--
I've been-- I've went through that.
I've decided I want--
There was a point where
I wanted to be the villain,
and it's not fun, bro. It's not fun.
People t--
Like, it doesn't attract anything
that you truly want.
I've started to look at myself
very differently
and beat myself up.
And you guys are the only thing
that gives me hope.
You guys are the only things that,
that thing that motivates me
to ideally like, yo, be strong.
You have over eight million kids or adults
and teenagers watching you
relying on you for this hope.
Jahseh was becoming more patient.
He was more positive versus
being so angry all the time.
You can reason with him
because he was able
to reason with himself.
- When the nigga would just
usually freak out and trip out,
you would see him go into a corner
and do breathing exercises, you feel me?
Keep his eyes closed, meditate,
even if it's for, like,
a little 10 minutes,
then come back and address the situation.
One day I get home, and I'm like,
something, something doesn't feel right.
The next day, I took a pregnancy test
and sure enough,
I find out that I'm pregnant.
Jah had, like, 30 phones,
it was so ridiculous.
So, I'm, like, sending
the picture to all these phones
because I couldn't get ahold of him.
Turns out he was at the gym training.
Finally, when I got ahold of Jah,
he was super excited.
Like, he was like, "No way."
- Family and success.
[all cheering]
WOMAN: Cheers.
- I almost felt like he knew
how to relate to kids
more than he did other people.
And he saw this emotional
phenomenon in children
that they were pure and unable to judge
and unable to have hatred in their heart.
And he loved that so much
that the idea of having a kid of his own
and being able to instill
this sense of acceptance
and lovingness and positivity
within this kid
would have been his proudest moment.
GHAZI: I know one incident,
I had took him to Nobu.
It was his first time
eating at a fancy restaurant.
And they pulled up
and we were sitting down eating,
and he was fucking around
with the chopsticks
and we were just sitting there
and we started talking about kids.
He was like, "You're going
to be a great dad."
I said, "You're going to be
a great dad too someday, bro."
He said, "No, I'm not."
I said, "What do you mean?"
And he just looked me dead
in the eye and he was like,
"I'm not gonna make it past 21."
And then just went right back
to fuckin' with the chopsticks,
like he hadn't said a thing.
He always spoke about death
and was fascinated with it,
I think, since he was about 15.
It's almost as if he was preparing me
that he wasn't going to be here.
His lawyers called and told me that, um,
they were coming to pick Jah up Tuesday.
I had the worst anxiety ever.
[loud hip-hop music playing]
I went to the studio
and he was working on his first beat.
And he was so proud.
And I was so proud because I was like,
"Yo, where did you come from?
How did you even learn
to do these things, you know?"
He spoke about possibly running.
And I was like,
"Jah, where are you going to go?
"You have blue hair with tats
all over your face.
You're not exactly going
to blend in with the crowd."
And, um, he was like,
"I can't, I don't understand
what's happening or why."
And I said, "Kid, you're powerful."
I said, "I've watched you
control your crowd and your audience."
I said, "That's, that's dangerous
to the status quo."
He got up from around the table
and he said, um,
"To whom much is given, much is required."
And then he said, "You know,
I'm going to go buy a bike."
And I was like, "What? Why?"
Because at the time, he had
about three bikes in the garage
and then some other ones
at his other house
that he doesn't even ride them.
But I knew my son. I knew it was
because he was so worried.
He was so scared.
Typically, I'd be, like,
arguing with him
about those type of things,
if it doesn't make sense,
but I knew what that was.
And so I was like, "Okay, let me
get security together for you."
And he was like, "Nah,
they're going to take too long."
I called Jazz's brother,
which is Aiden's dad.
I called him and I was like, "Hey, um,
"Jah wants to go pick up this bike.
"I'm gonna need you to drive his car back
in the event that he,
he does, um, get the bike."
And I said, "No matter what he says,
don't leave his side."
I remember I had walked home that day
Content with all my misery
told myself it'd get better
No clue what there was next for me
Remember there was people
Walkin', talkin' in the distance
I was dressed for winter weather
But the summer rays were kissing me
I, I was lost
So I took a different path
In the distance he awaited me
Had no weapon, I'm guessin'
His hands were just enough for me
Was no question,
I'm guessin' he laughed
Just at the sight of me
And there he was,
his presence was alarming
As he approached, was casual
We talked 'bout self- harming
He told me, "Kid, you shouldn't be
Walkin' on your own"
He smiled and laughed, and pat my back
He asked, "How far are you from home"
I said, "Maybe 30 minutes"
His frequency distorted quick
I seen it in his image
I should've run
right fucking there, a--
You ever woke up on a train track
With no motherfuckin' clothes on
Death before your eyes,
you prayin' to God
But ain't no response
Tryna scream for hope, just a shoulder
That you can lean on
But ain't nobody comin'
So you scream on and scream on
And scream on
While this evil fuck laugh at you
Train getting closer,
you still surprised
That he battered you
Tears falling harder and harder
Minutes get minuscule
Could've had a son or a daughter
Now what you finna do
[siren wailing]
When I got the call...
yeah, I just...
I just collapsed to the floor.
- Bro, I think X got shot, bro.
- Hey!
- I think X got shot, bro.
I think X got shot, bro!
I think X got shot!
- I'm like, "They did what?
Wait, what do you mean they shot Jahseh?"
- I remember not having any gas,
not wanting to stop.
I'm trying to get to where he was,
and, um, it's all a blur.
- And I just remember, like, calling Cleo.
Like, "Cleo, where are you?"
She's like, "I'm lost."
She, like, literally didn't know
where she was.
I'm like, "Bro, you got
to get to the hospital."
She's like, "I'm trying
to get there, but I-- "
She's like, "I don't know where I'm at."
- I was like disoriented.
I got there, there was
a few people there already,
I'm not sure how they found out.
And I was just in there from then on,
pacing back and forth.
I wasn't able to go back there,
and they gave me some bullshit story
about them not wanting me
to see him like that
because it would traumatize me.
But I think that I should have
made that decision
of seeing my son.
- And then it's like that calm.
Just, there was like a calm that set in,
because it's like, "All right.
"It's Jahseh, like, he's a fighter.
"He's a fighter.
Jahseh is going to make it through.
If anybody was going to make it through,
it was going to be him."
- The cops came out,
and they pulled me in a room
and I remember
the officer was just so callous
when he delivered.
He was just like,
"Oh, Jahseh expired today
at such and such time."
- I still don't understand,
what do you mean by expired?
- That shit just seem like
watching a movie or something.
It's, I-I don't know, I never get,
come to terms with it.
- It went from that to just...
planning a funeral.
I remember Cleo walking
in the room and saying,
"How do we plan a funeral?
How do I plan a funeral for my son?"

Before I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
I hope it's not too late for me, Whoa
Before I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
I hope it's not too late for me, Whoa
Changing in the distance
Time consumes the image
Before I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
I hope it's not too late for me, whoa
- Oh no. This is, that's not a toy.
That's not a toy.
CLEOPATRA: His son isn't old enough
to carry on his legacy.
There's nobody that can do it.
So I have to not only be here
for my other son,
I have to be here to maintain his legacy
as well as look after my grandson.
Jah was my practice baby.
I was 17 years old.
There was nobody teaching me
how to take care of a child.
I just had to kind of figure it out.
Jah kind of changed
my mindset from hammering,
"You're going to do this,
you're going to do that,"
because you lose your child doing that.
You have to allow them to be themselves.
- How are you?
- Good.
After Jahseh died,
Cleo reached out to me,
like, a year later.
So, she calls me,
and before I answer the phone,
I'm like, "Oh my god."
Like, "I don't know if this
is gonna be bad or good."
I was, like, alleviated
but really nervous.
CLEOPATRA: You know, this is,
my son's no longer here,
and I feel like it's up to me now
to make amends for any mistakes
that he's done
and try to right his wrongs
as much as I can.
I would actually like
to hear you tell your story
because like I said, my son died
and I, he's never admitted it to me.
I don't think he would want me
to see him in that light
or know those things, that side of him.
You know, Jahseh...
was wrong for what he did.
You know, um, there's no excuse
for that, period.
You know? But, um...
I just want the world to know that
he wasn't that same person anymore
and that whether it's the past,
it's still a part of his story.
Now, Cleo and I are cool.
It makes me feel like
a weight is lifted basically.
Because I felt like I wasn't accepted
by the whole family the whole time.
CLEOPATRA: I'm not going to hate her
and my son's not here,
and I don't think she should
be mistreated in any way.
This is about his legacy,
and she is the love of his life,
and she was a part of that legacy.
People have, like, asked me for advice,
and I just feel bad sometimes
'cause, like,
I don't know how I feel
about telling other people
what to do or, like,
how to feel about that
because I feel like it's just different
with every person.
It's crazy to think that really and truly
that the end of the story
to Jahseh's legacy
is going to really help
so many fucking lives.
So hard to explain, but this
dude turned everything around
for the better.
GUY: He set out a parachute
with his name on it.
I think he wanted to talk about suicide
and those types of things
to help somebody.
Really, he wanted to save somebody.
It could go a lot of ways for me,
but I just know that I have
to make Jahseh proud,
I have to.
Because I know I'm going to see him again
in some cosmic plan.
Some cosmic plan, I'm gonna see Jah again,
and that's what I live
my life based off of.
WOMAN: To Jah!
ALL: To Jah!

- But thank you so much for coming, y'all.
[crowd cheering]
True love
Shouldn't be this complicated
Thought I'd die in your arms
I thought I'd die in your
True love
Shouldn't be this complicated
Thought I'd die in your arms
I thought I'd die in your
No hard feelings
but these feelings harder
When I think about it,
my eyes fill up with water
Don't have our daughters
butterfly while they larvae
Wait, when you see the kids?
I'll see y'all tomorrow
Wait, when the sunset?
I see y'all tomorrow
Wait, when I pick 'em up,
I feel like they borrowed
When I gotta return them,
scan 'em like a bar code
Wait, no hard feelings,
but these feelings hard though
Wait, who got our kids in some,
"What are those?"
Wait, why they can't wear Yeezys
with the cargos?
Y'all know Nike don't like me,
y'all take it too far though
At least have 'em in some Mike's,
he played for Chicago
I only see three kids,
who watchin' Chicago?
And you know all the nannies said,
"Daddy in Nebraska"
Let the kids dig a tunnel
to my house like Chapo
Only neighbor in the hood
with a door they can knock on
I leave the light on
- When I first found out about X,
I was going through
a very rough patch in my life.
His music was able to just help me realize
that no matter what I'm going through,
there's always somebody out there
who feels the same way
and has the same emotions
that I'm feeling.
- I looked at him as a mentor.
I would hit him up for advice
in high school.
Like, I would hit him up for advice
if I was going through something,
and it, he was always there.
Literally, he was always there.
- Everybody wants to be
acknowledged, you know.
And, you know, you get
the occasional thank you
for the deal and nice whatever, whatever.
But, you know, our first deal
which was a seven-figure deal,
he called me up and said,
"Thank you, you're the reason
my life has changed."
I'm like, "Okay, that's kind of cool.
No one's ever said that before."
- My favorite memory of Jahseh...
was when it was me,
my homie VINNY CHANGO$, Ski, and Jah,
and, like, we played
his music on the radio
and, like, he, like...
stood up in the middle of a car,
like, put his, like, ear mad close
to, like, to the speaker and was like,
"Yo, is this me?"
Like, "Is this me right now?"
And I'm like, "Bro, this is you."
And then for, like,
literally the rest of the night,
I kid you not,
he just screamed, "This is me!
"This is me!
This is me!" For the whole night.
- So, he's in the studio
doing his thing, I hit record.
He didn't know I hit record.
So, I hit record and he's doing
his little thing,
doing his little thing.
So, he's like, "All right, I'm ready now."
So, I just start playing back
what he just did.
He was like,
"What, what, what, you was recording?"
I'm like, "Yeah." He was like, "Shit.
I like this shit. Keep playing it."
I was like, "All right."
- He never turned this into a song,
but it was always one of those moments
that kind of stuck with me.
- I just wanna show the world
That I can
amount to something better
[continues singing]
Yeah, yeah